supermegashow - EP 70 - Prayers For Jeff

Episode Date: December 2, 2017

We talk Uber rides, artificial intelligence, and creeps in the library. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. You're tuned in to Super Megacast, the only podcast made by brothers for brothers. Welcome back. I knocked the cord of the mic, whatever. This is the 70th episode of the Super Megacast. I'm here with my good buddy, Matt. That's me. I'm Ryan.

And I'm Matt. And Matt, I believe you had something to talk about, right? You had something to start us off with, to kick us off, kind of like a good football game? Yeah, a good football. Well, it wasn't anything big. I just had a really small thing I could throw in after your... Because I thought you were going to start with something, and I could have just thrown it in afterwards. Oh, no. Because in the beginning... Fuck, just keep going. Well, no.

What were you going to say? It's not a big story now. Well, I'm sure we could branch it off into something. Okay. On the way here, I was trying to take a Snapchat in a dark Uber, and I had my camera on the wrong facing thing. And I flashed the driver with my bright flash. And I felt very embarrassed. That's all I had to say.

That's it? That's it. Okay. Well, speaking of Ubers. I don't have any Uber stories. Fuck, dude. I do. But I am Uber excited.

For what? The Disaster Artist, which you and I are seeing this Thursday. Yes, we are. I'm excited, man. Well, that's today, technically. because the podcast comes out on Thursday. Yeah. Dude, I got an Uber story. Uh-oh.

I got a real good Uber story. Oh, okay. Go on. So I was in Seattle over the weekend because it was Thanksgiving, and I was like, I'm going to go to Seattle, visit some people. While in Seattle, I got in an Uber late night. And I had an Uber driver. It was a very inappropriate Uber ride. He said a lot of line-crossing things.

He was this large 345-pound man. And I know that because he told me his exact weight. 340 pounds. 345 pounds. 45 pounds. So that's a big boy. How tall was he? Was he at least tall?

He was 6 feet. Okay. Or 5'11". So 11 so my height yeah something like that imagine 345 imagine putting about like a hundred and some odd pounds onto me wow like 160 pounds on me holy but that's more than one of me yeah onto you that's wow yeah okay so something but but nothing about his weight no no no no we're not shaming um i was just i'm trying to paint the picture of what this what this ride was was he bald he was not he had he had a little a little head of hair a little head a little head of a small head uh attached to his body with a little bit of hair do you have one of those baby curly q hair yes he did he did he had a baby too, but I get in the car and he was like,

Oh, you're lanky. And I was like, thank you. And that's when he said his weight. And I was like, Oh, I'm like,

what do I say back to that? Like, Oh, cool. Like, awesome, man. Cool.

I have a channel. Um, I'm actually a YouTuber. Uh, uh, believe it or not, guys, we don't start off or try to put YouTube

Into every conversation we have with someone Well that did come up and I had to explain it to It was the classic how do you make money off of that No it's cause people are always like What do you do and I'm like I work online Oh like what online Like videos oh like what kind of videos I'm like YouTube videos

They can never just leave it at I work online We gotta think of something better because I always say I just say I'm a video editor. And they go, oh, what kind of videos do you edit? And I'm like, say you own a small time entertainment company and you also own

a fashion line. Yeah. I should just start making shit up for fun. Be like, yeah, I cultivate horse food. They'll be like, yeah, I cultivate horse food. They'll be like, oh, okay. I'm Bryan Cranston's stepson. Even though I just asked about Bryan Cranston, I can make a bunch of shit up and slander him.

Yeah, he's kind of a dick. Like, I mean, he has this cool persona and everything, but. He's actually, he doesn't want people to know. He's actually, he has like an alias. He goes by and he's a senior editor at Breitbart, believe it or not. No, but anyway, back to my Uber ride. Before we even get down the end of like the first street, he's telling me how, you know, I got in my first crash yesterday. That was my fault.

I was at fault in this crash. And I'm like, great. I've been in the car 30 seconds. And I was like, thanks for telling me this. We're about to go on a long drive and you're telling me about the crash you got in yesterday that was your fault because it puts it into perspective of how these aren't like train drivers they're not like

taxi drivers that know the city they're just regular people just some dude that could totally like rear end he went to like an Uber thing got his car checked for 5 minutes took a little exam that probably took him two minutes. Yeah, and now he's out on the road

driving people around. Now thousands of people have trusted me with their lives. Oh, jeez, man. Like, he's driving me and I'm trying to be nice. I'm like, it happens to everybody. It's no big deal. You know, anyone can crash a car. And then I was like...

Happens every day. Some people die. You know, you then i was like happens every day some people die you know you didn't that's some people die you know it's no big deal i was like i've never i've never uh crashed a car um but but you know now that i've said that uh knock on wood and he's like man that's the worst thing to say that's like saying uh i've never had the clap and it was like an awkward silence and i was like yeah man i and uh and then he was like knock on wood and it was like an awkward silence and i was like yeah man i and uh and then he was like and i was like yep and then it was silent for a while yep and then what in the back just like i picture you with your hands just i have my hands on my knees just like yeah i was like all right and then what happened what did he say he started talking about um yeah, he was like, you know, I grew up homophobic.

He just opened a conversation with that. That's like, I grew up Christian, but instead of religious or whatever, he's like, I grew up homophobic. Like in a memoir. I hated the gays when I was younger. Now the gays are kind of cool. When I was a young boy, I really did not like those homosexuals. I do have to say. I'm able to suppress my violent anger towards the gays nowadays i keep it in check more but like he was just telling me and i like i don't remember why he brought that up uh i really

don't remember he wanted to make because he probably thought you were gay he might have he's like look at that bright red jacket yeah i was wearing a bright red jacket and he said i was lanky he's like you're you're a lanky fellow. I don't think lanky means anything. Like, lanky isn't connected to, like, flamboyant or outwardly, like, stereotypically. Maybe because I'm so skinny, though. Like, I come off as feminine. Like, I look effeminate because of my – I do have a very effeminate build.

Like a feminine M&M. I don't know why I thought that was so funny. Yeah. That was good. That was pretty good. A slim shady lady. Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah? That's good. That was just Bo Burnham. I was just quoting Bo Burnham there. Oh, that. No, that wasn't me. That was Bo Burnham. Really?

Yeah. So you have to go tweet at Bo Burnham right now and say, my friend Ryan stole a joke from you. I laughed. I wanted to make sure you know I laughed at your joke. I'm more so disappointed because I thought that, I thought that was you. Yeah. But I've said it many times during, over the course of the show.

Are you serious? Yeah. Wow. I've never remembered that. I'm sorry. It's fine. Anyway. But nice because I texted Haiti.

That's the next line after what I said. I was like, oh, really? So you grew up homophobic. Okay. And he's like, you know, now I got this 15-year-old daughter who, you know, just wants to be a boy sometimes. So I like, I really understand it now. And I'm not homophobic anymore.

And I was like, all right, man. Good. That's great. That's great to hear. I'm really glad to hear that. And what else did he start? really understand it now and i'm not homophobic anymore i was like all right man good that's great that's great to hear i'm really glad to hear that and what else he said yeah he started talking about sex with me and it was really uncomfortable like he really started going into it and he was like you ever go uh you know you're out here late at night you're going to go play a game of uh hide the penis you should have told him that was real clever that's that's good man you should have went that's you should just that's that's good man you should have went that you should just went good one are you a comedian during the day and uh should have you ever thought

of stand up my man and then what else did he say oh yeah he said he didn't like uh he started going into his like sexual uh preferences and he was he told me and i didn't ask for any of this dude he just like went straight into it he was like you know i really don't like uh he said just like he goes i uh i don't like asian girls to tell you the truth and i was like oh is this guy white yeah okay large which surprised me because it's like an overweight white man i would have thought he would have loved asian girls and i was like oh i mean hey man to each his own and he's like they're uh they're too squeaky for me and i was like squeaky that's what he said he said that i was like squeaky does he only watch porn?

Yeah. That, and that has he never had legitimate sex with an Asian woman. That's the thing is I think that he only like his idea of Asian women is from like porn. Yeah. And like, he's like, you know,

you know, they, they, they squeaked during sex and I'm just not into that. Cause you know, it was a 345 pound man. That's not really for me. And I was like,

yeah, okay man. They're like, and like, I, I was like, all right, man, that's not really for me. And I was like, yeah, okay, man. It's in the porn. They're like. And like, I was like, all right, man. It was really uncomfortable. It's just a really uncomfortable conversation. And then he was like, but my friend, you know, he married a Japanese woman. He's got a Japanese wife and she's, you know, she's so sweet.

I'm surprised you didn't say Jap. I figured you would. I was surprised that he, you know, I'm like, this is, this was in Washington. I thought that I wouldn't get an Uber driver like this in Washington. But, you know. And then at the end of the night, he reached back and he, the Asian conversation was happening. Like, he pulled up to let me out. And he kept going on.

And I didn't know how to end it. So, instead of responding to the Asian thing, I was just like, all right, man, have a great night. Thanks for the ride. And I shook his hand. And I got out and I left, and that was my That's my story Then he went on his way to go terrorize someone else Yeah, he probably did terrorize

What was his Uber rating? I didn't check, you know, I can go back and check right now Alright, I'm gonna go Check this man's Uber real quick Live on the podcast Let's see Nope, that's Hold on, wrong person I goofed, dude, relax On the podcast. Let's see. Nope. That's.

Hold on. Wrong person. I goofed. Dude, relax. How many Ubers have you taken after this guy, Matt? Okay, I found it. Jeff. Jeff.

There he is. Look at him. He got his picture. That's Jeff. That looks like a guy that would be in the Japanese women. Right? And of course he has a 4.7. He's not doing. 4.7? He's not doing well. 4.7?

That's not doing well. For an Uber? For Uber, no. That's not good at all. Can I check my rating real quick? Yeah. I don't know if it's gone up or if it's gone down. Let me see.

Let me check my rating, too. Jeff drove me at 11.57 p.m. on November 26, 2017. And, oh, I never rated him, dude. There's probably someone I've never rated because I just don't look at the app directly afterwards. He's from Salem, 2017. And, oh, I never rated him, dude. There's probably someone I've never rated because I just don't look at the app directly afterwards. Oh, he's from Salem, Oregon. Oh, wait, Uber drivers can put an About Them section. I'm 4.83, by the way.

Whoa, dude. 4.84. I am, let's see what I am. 4.86. 4.86. I knew it. How'd you know? Because I think we checked, like, a few months ago, and mine was the same thing, and yours is the same am. 4.86. 4.86. I knew it. How'd you know? Because I think we checked like a few months ago and mine was the same thing and yours is the same thing.

Oh, damn. I swear it used to be 4.82. I guess I must be charming all these Uber drivers with my boyish charm. You and I have talked about this before. We don't know what we did to deserve these scores on Uber. Yeah, we get in and we shut our mouths. I get on my phone and I shut the fuck up. I don't bother them at all. Why would

they rate me less than five stars? I simply don't get it. And I always give them a good tip. Same. I always fucking I don't slam the door ever. I'm very cautious of slamming the door these days. I am so careful. My thing is I don't think many Uber drivers actually rate the customers

so we only see Uber drivers that only rate the customers are like people like negative. Yeah. Right. Okay. I can read more about my Uber driver, Jeff. In his about me section, it says sarcastic intellectual. So he describes himself as a sarcastic intellectual. So what if he was just goofing you the whole time?

He could have been like super fucking smart. And he was just like, I'm gonna play with this kid. He's like, I'm gonna play like I'm this dumb homophobic. No, no. Former homophobic. Former homophobic. I don't know. People who describe themselves as an intellectual usually aren't. Yeah.

Unless you're like Albert Einstein and you're known for being an intellectual. If you're like, if you're like Tesla, then you're an intellectual. Yeah. Unless you're like Albert Einstein and you're known for being an intellectual. If you're like Tesla, then you're an intellectual. Yeah. Guys, just a little life tip. Probably don't describe yourself as an intellectual because if you are an intellectual, people will pick up on that. And if you describe yourself as an intellectual, people are probably going to think you're a little pious. Okay, so Jeff, his writer compliments. The biggest writer compliment he has is great conversation.

He has 44 great conversations. Very interesting. Yeah, and two awesome musics. I wonder what he was playing. But there's even thank you notes you can read. Wow. Thank you notes. Yeah.

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1,000 five-star trips. This guy's done 1,000 five-star trips. A lot of people just boop. Man, well, wherever you are tonight, Jeff. Bless you. This podcast is dedicated to you. And we're going to tell all of our viewers to pray for you, Jeff. Everyone pray for Jeff, all right? Let's take a moment of silence.

Put some nice music on in the back. I remembered something. Are you interrupting prayer? He said that he broke his toe the day before. So he does have a broken toe, and he crashed his car. So guys, let's pray for Jeff together as a group right now and say, Lord Yeshua, please, please bless Jeff and his broken toe and his broken car. And please give him gift of Asian woman and no homophobia.

God bless. Amen. Okay, Matt. Well, I was giving people a moment of silence because I didn't want to enforce my own religion on others so uh I'll beep out the deity's name I said and people can

you said lord I mean I'm pretty sure there's a lot of lords but still you know there's some that aren't lords I'll beep the whole thing out and then people can imagine when the beep happened they could fill in in their head whatever deity they worship I think that's disrespectful to your prayer I mean I respect your prayer. I mean, I respect your prayer, but I also want to respect

others. So let's give, like, let's just not talk, like, at the same time for like two seconds. People can pause the video in that two seconds and then pray for Jeff. Okay. In whatever religious, you know, context you want. Of course. So guys, here is two seconds of silence

for you to pray. Pause. Okay. Here we go. Okay. Okay. Hope you guys enjoyed that. Got some good prayers in for Jeff. Jeff, hope your toe feels better, buddy. You just had at least ten people pray for him. I'd say at least one hundred

people prayed for him. I was gonna say that, but I didn't wanna overstep. You know what? No, dude. I'm gonna say a thousand people prayed for Jeff. Fuck. Think to say that, but I didn't want to overstep. You know what? No, dude. I'm going to say 1,000 people prayed for Jeff. Fuck. Think about it. Those in the comments, just pray for Jeff in the comments. Leave your prayer in the comments so we know how many prayers exactly there are. Also, you know what?

This is not just a podcast that's going to be listened to one day. Five years from now, someone's going to listen to this. And they're going to pray for Jeff five years from now. So you know what we've done for Jeff? We have given Jeff infinite prayers from this point out. Yeah. And, and please start prayer threads in the comments. Try, try not to stack them up.

Try not to stack. Don't make every singular comment a prayer. Of course, that's going to happen just because, you know, it happens, but you know, for, for the people that, um, don't want all all the fame, start a prayer thread with your friends. Let's get some threads going. And let's pray for Jeff. Down in the comments section. So thank you.

Thank you. And I'm sure Jeff will have his life blessed in ways unimaginable. Okay. So thank you, Jeff. I was just going to say something because it came up in my head when I said Tesla. Yeah, dude. just gonna say something because it came up in my head when i said tesla yeah dude do you think tesla hold on no one wait a second sorry i was gonna bring up something because i said tesla do you think elon musk is like the tesla of our time it's ironic because he made the Tesla. Yeah.

I think Elon Musk is, as of right now, in November 2017, I would consider him personally to be like the biggest known technological innovator. I don't. Like he's going to be in the history books. Elon Musk? Yeah. I think so. Yeah. As time goes on, as he continues with SpaceX and Tesla.

Because he's done more than just the cars and the space shit space shit okay does he actually own the washington post or was or was that just a joke chore he was making earlier i don't think he owns it i know he started like he helped found paypal yeah he created paypal didn't he have some battery that charged a city or some shit i I would imagine so. I think they're helping out with Puerto Rico, the recovery from the hurricane. Dude, imagine this guy. He has a fucking spaceship company, a cool car company, Uber, PayPal.

Man, he's got all the money in the world. I'm going to look up Elon Musk companies. He's also building something, like high-speed rail systems or something yeah he's got like solar city spacex musk foundation um deep mind technologies tesla incorporated neural link geez uh it's like satellite technology company and then he's got what's vicarious vicarious is an artificial intelligence company based in the san francisco bay area california they are using the theorized holy shit they're they're building software that can think and learn like a human that's terrifying that's really cool like ai is

so cool to me but it's also unbelievably terrifying you know because it's like do you think we're gonna get in the next few decades into the like realm of like ai rights like do you think there's gonna be start being like stuff for like ai rights because no because think about it if it gets to my lifetime just like in like little like kind of like hot you know those joke flatter threads that you'll find every now and then yeah that kind of kind of started the whole craze, I guess. It's going to kind of be joked around like that. Like whenever there's a breakthrough in artificial intelligence, it's going to be like, we need the rights.

They're learning too fast. Then it's going to be like a gif of like a stupid looking robot. Just going. Well, I mean, like if they developed a computer that could physically like feel and think for itself, then I guess the argument would have to arise like, well, what kind of rights do they have? If it can feel like a

living creature. Like digital abortion. Yeah. Do you have a drinking age? At what point is this artificial intelligent thing, whatever it is, at what point is this artificial intelligent thing, whatever it is, at what point is it not a life? You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, because remember, like, when PETA did that thing where the monkey took a picture of itself and then the guy lost a court case, like the photographer? Because it was the monkey's picture. Yeah, it was like the monkey's intellectual property. But it's like, it's a fucking monkey. I know. So that's why I was saying, like, if there's a court case that can be won like that, I think it was like the monkey's intellectual property but it's like it's a fucking monkey i know it's like so that's why i was saying like if there's a court case that can be won like that i think it was one i might be wrong on that but if the fact that it could go to court makes me think like 50 years from now when ai is like huge then do you know how long it took women to get their

rights you think we're just gonna hand it over to computers no like old people nowadays they're super against new stuff like like gay rights and stuff like that do you think when we're old we're gonna be like the group of old people against like robot rights and like AI rights and all our grandkids are gonna be like we have to be open to AI love and we're just gonna be those old people of today

except with like robots and shit but we're gonna be those old people that are like anti-robosexuality which is like robots aren't people like my man can't marry a robot the disgusting republicans of this generation and i don't mean not all republic i'm not saying all republicans are disgusting i'm saying like the stereotype of the disgusting republican like the old republican man yeah like just the very harsh stereotype of just some guy in a straw hat on his porch with hate. We're going to be that, but it's going to be about robots. I have many Republican friends.

I have many robot friends. Okay, I'm not. Would you ever date a robot? Would you ever date a Republican robot? Would you ever date a Republican, Ryan? Would I ever date a robot? No. What? Have you seen her? a Republican. Would you ever date a Republican, Ryan? Would I ever date a robot? Um, no. What?

Have you seen her? I have, but that dude has a bit of a, like, a mental dysfunction. A little bit, yeah. I don't think he was 100% normal. Like, I'm not saying he was, like, 100% not there. He was broken by society. He was beaten and battered.

Man, I actually wonder when, like, because it has to happen. Okay, think about how much technology has advanced just in 10 years. Think about something like Siri. You know, Siri does not seem that complex. But 10 years ago, Siri was like, whoa. So think about, like, 50 years from now. People are definitely going to be dating their phones. Like, there will be people that will date computer programs without a doubt. Who's gonna

say that computers aren't gonna be the ones to be like the humans deserve the right to vote? Look at all the shit they did in the past. That's true and computers like we're perfect. We're computers. Yeah. Okay. Real talk. Once they figure out they're better than us, which they will. Yeah.

It's easy to do the fucking math of how much better they they're they could last forever if they want also they can do the math in like one heart million less than a heartbeat yeah so okay i know that right now it's not a threat or maybe it is and it's being kept behind closed doors but it's like people like a robot takeover no like do you think there's a point in humanity where that will be a threat of artificial intelligence going to war with like humanity? You just you can't trust artificial intelligence. It has a mind of its own.

And it's like it is superior to humans because it is smarter. If they develop it to the point where it can like actually think at the same level of humans but it doesn't have like emotional bias and shit yeah then that's scary man that's really scary then like what if you build a computer to a point where then it can start programming itself you know dude you know we're just the uh in terms of life we're just the bridge between the next form, whatever that will be. Whether it'll be just a big fucking rock that nothing can live on anymore or it's a totally different organism like millions of years from now is at the head. Because at some point, humanity is just going to crumble and we're not going to be around. Yeah.

Who knows? I mean, maybe we're not going to be around. Yeah. Who knows? I mean, maybe we might be fucking the planet up so much there won't be another like intelligent species after Earth. Yeah. After humans mess everything up. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. It's either going to be just a rock or we're going to be here. I don't see us going millions of years in the future.

No. I don't see that. Nuclear shit's got to. going millions of years in the future no i don't see that i see nuclear shit's gotta it's like inevitable that someone's gonna nuke someone else and start like a huge nuclear like meltdown around the world i'm giving humanity like at the most 3 000 years i'd say i'd say yeah like i'd say with how because technology is scary because you know back in the day like in the year 1000 if two empires hated each other they'd go kill each other with swords and bows and arrows. Now it's like, hey, I've got this little thing the size of a soccer ball that can literally kill like a million people in a millisecond.

And we're learning how to just, we're learning to send that to a country that would take about a 13 to 14 hour flight on a commercial airline. We're going to do that in 14 minutes using like this really, have you read about this launching system? Wait, China's doing this like, is that the missile speed? Yeah.

Holy shit. They're going to launch it using like this air tunnel or something. And it would get to the United States in 14 minutes. So if like, if China launched a nuke, it could get here in less than 15 minutes? It's not working yet, but their goal is to get it up to that point. Holy shit. And we even, we had

a wind tunnel, I think, at one point. What the fuck? Well, there's like a theorized weapon. I don't know if it's like confirmed to be true, but there was like a theorized, like hypothetical weapon that's called like the Rod of God where it's literally, it's not even like a nuclear weapon. It's just a metal rod that is on like a satellite that gets shot out so quickly that

when it hits the ground it creates like a massive explosion and it's not even an explosive it's just because the energy there's so much energy in this thing that's moving so fast that it just creates like the biggest explosion yeah and it's like that's scary because that's not even a bomb that's just a metal rod there's there's just it's there's just some point where it's like, that's scary because that's not even a bomb. That's just a metal rod. There's just some point where it's going to happen because humans are fucked. And, you know, there are a lot of political systems that are fucked and a lot of political systems that allow people to unfairly host power. And these political systems allow these people to host power as in nuclear weaponry. Like, think of North Korea is the first thing that comes to mind. systems allow these people to host power as in nuclear weaponry like a whole country like think of north korea is the first thing that comes to mind like the fact that a whole country is that

crazy and that just in love with nuclear nuclear domination of others is is frightening yeah especially because like they would i don't think north korea would like honor the whole uh nuclear agreement obviously not because they're the only country doing this kind of stuff right now and that's what someone that probably just wants to conquer imagine someone who uh just let's just say like a mass shooter just has the mindset of fuck all like fuck it and and like their thing is they don't care if they get wiped out as well they just want to see it all go to shit well that's yeah that's a scary thing too because it's like because it's human emotion at that point because like i don't think north korea is the only country that's

tested nuke since the 90s i think and i think it's scary is that like i think nuclear war is inevitable it's going to happen even if it's a thousand years from now like it's got to happen eventually and i and i think that nuclear war will be like probably what ends most of humanity probably was the geneva code anything to do with nuclear weaponry does i know it has chemical i don't know shit i think you're not allowed to use nuclear weapons anymore no that's like off limits in the whole world or chemical weapons and that's why they put sanctions on north korea because like north korea is using's using these testing nukes. I thought the world agreed

not to do that, so... I don't think you're allowed to use laser beams either. No, laser beams are banned. It's so funny how it's like, alright guys, there's this thing called war where we all kill each other, and that's the goal, is to kill each other. But there's certain things we can't kill each other with because it's too mean. It's too unfair.

You gotta kill within the fair limits limits the United States stepped over the line Now we now we now we see where the line is so no one else can do it It's like it's like was the United States seriously just kind of like the kid that yeah It just goes into the sandbox kick sands and people's faces, and it's like okay, okay No one else can do that. That's that's not that's like that's against the rules now yeah that's so true just oh man i wonder if like it'd be weird like listening back to this podcast a year from now if like someone has nuked someone by that point that'd be crazy it's like that uh robot robot chicken uh cartoon where it's like lil hitler and then it has like all the other

classrooms and it shows the u.s kid like drinking a milkshake on his desk with his feet up or something and the jap this japanese kid comes over and like pushes over his milkshake okay first uh the like something's going over you know hitler's being mean well the united states is like this is not my problem then the japanese kid comes over pushes the milkshake over, and then he goes, now it's my problem. And the American kid has like blonde hair and sunglasses and shit. Oh, man, guys, if you don't live in America, fuck you. I just want to say that publicly on the podcast. Americans are very loud.

Very. Even in America. I catch myself being loud sometimes sometimes like when someone here is just like see i'm like see ya and i'm like oh jesus christ christ why am i so fucking loud i know i just picture me going see ya i mean like like i always hear that from like people from other countries like american tourists are super loud they're just like super duper loud and don't understand bubbles yeah and uh every time i loud. And don't understand bubbles. Yeah. And every time I've encountered.

They don't understand bubbles. The stupid Americans. They try to blow bubbles. They can't. Man, this podcast would be so different if you had a German accent. Like a hardcore like. I'd want a Swedish accent. Oh, that'd be great, man.

That's Swedish, isn't it? Oh, yeah. That's some. Dude, that's somewhere over there. I don't. That's Swedish, isn't it? Oh, yeah. Dude, that's somewhere over there. That's like Austrian, German, I don't know. I just pictured German as Seinandamajda! Sounded kind of like a Japanese general

trying to speak German. Did his best. Oh, man, dude. I, uh, so like, because you know how I was in Seattle this weekend? It reminded me of, uh, last year I was in Seattle, And I was at my uncle's house And um I was trying to show him something on my phone And my iPhone was really fucked up at the time

And like it would just start clicking things On it's own so he's like He wanted me to show him this picture So I was like yeah sure uncle Here's this uh here's this picture So I open up my camera roll and I go to the picture. And I give him my phone. And he's like looking at it for a minute.

And I go into the other room and he comes and he's like, hey, your phone. It started scrolling through your pictures and it's stuck on this. And it's, let me show you, Ryan. This is the fucking picture. It's scrolled over to my uncle had to go bring the phone back to me. It's I gotta see it. Hold on All right got it it was this picture oh my fellas

fellas can I read it out loud? don't read the last line though fellas we all got that one homeboy who thick as fuck and it's a picture of a it says tag your boy that you'd have violent anal sex with

dead ass though I know a few thick boys I replaced you replaced some words anal sex with. Deadass though. I know a few thick boys. I replaced, I replaced. You replaced some words. Yeah, I replaced a certain expletive with boys. You know what, the picture's on the screen for those who want to see. That was the picture that was like locked on my phone screen that my uncle had to come

give to me. And I gave him my phone back and it did it again. It did it twice. And he's like uh, Matt. Yeah, and i had to explain i was like nah that was a picture that you know my friend sent me it's like a joke and uh no it's a joke and he was like yeah i yeah sure i get it but like think about how weird that's got to be like imagine like you're an uncle like your nephew gives him and then you get this like this like compressed ghetto meme that says fellas we all got that one homeboy who thick as fuck

what who are going to be the comedians of the generation behind us? What is it called? Generation Z? I don't know because they... Isn't that what they're called? They're probably kids right now. Is that what they're called though? Generation Z? Yeah. I don't know. I actually heard that for the first time from you recently. So I don't

know. Let me see. Generation Z? Let me look it up. Generation Z. Generation Z is the demographic cohort after the millennials. So that's after us. So yeah. Do millennials end at the year 2000?

I think so. Wait. Okay. So Generation Z. What comes after Generation Z? z the fuck is this people also search for millennials generation x baby boomers september 11 attacks i think it's just just there like i'm scrolling through i'm looking up generation names all of a sudden there's a picture and it's a violent picture of just the twin towers with one of the planes exploding into it. I guess probably because that's the

biggest historical event of Generation Z I guess. If Generation Z is everything after 2000. You know what was weird that I talked to you about? We hung out with Finn and made a video with him which was super fun. Finn's a cool kid. We love you. I love you Finn. You should come on the podcast

sometime maybe. Absolutely. Finn wasn't alive during 9-11 you're like no he's not i was like whoa i don't know that would just really blew me away i was like oh wow i'm realizing how much younger finn is at that point at that point i'm like what what is his kind of big thing uh Is it Donald Trump? Is Donald Trump his big political, like, or just kind of like worldly event? Because he's so just kind of like popularized. For him to be like cognitive of,

yeah, probably like Donald Trump becoming president. Yeah. Oh man. Like the cool thing about Finn though, is he's like, he's, he's what he's, I think he's like almost 15, but he,

you wouldn't guess when you hang out with him. Like he, like his comedy and everything. He feels like he's he's what he's i think he's like almost 15 but he you wouldn't guess when you hang out with him like he like his comedy and everything he feels like he's our age so that's like the weird thing about hanging out with him and he's super cool i've uh never met a 14 year old as cool as finn wolfhard besides me when i was 14 i didn't know you when you're four i would have loved to have known you when you're 14 ryan i would have loved to have known you when you were 14, Ryan. I would have loved to have bullied you when you were 14. When I look back at when I was 14, I look at Finn and I'm like, I was probably such just an embarrassing little shit. Dude, he's so cool for someone his age. And I'm like, dude, when I was 14, I had a bowl cut and I wore really skinny jeans and I had a seated face. I had an awful haircut. I wore like really skinny jeans and I had like a see in face I had an awful haircut I wore shitty baggy clothes

that never fit me same and he's like but I guess he's also a fucking like child star yeah I guess so but it's like I don't know dude are kids becoming cooler these days like cause like seriously look back at pictures of you and me when we were in middle school and like everyone else seemed so uncool

and now you go on social media and you see like 15 year olds and you're like, oh, shit. They're like they're dressing pretty hip and stuff and they're listening to some cool music. I wasn't listening to that cool music when I was 15. What's the deal? The Internet. Yeah. Is it the Internet? It's making everyone more mature.

It is. It is making everyone more mature. There was a lot less stuff when you and I, you know, because the internet came out or not around like our time but it was very it was in its early stages it wasn't as accessible as it is today yeah mainly because of smartphones and when i say kids becoming more mature i mean that in the sense of not like uh like mature like oh you're so mature i mean like they're exposed to more um more like adult humor and stuff so they because internet's just right there. Yeah.

It's right there. They break that like childhood kind of innocence that you keep until usually through like high school when they're in like fifth grade. Yeah. Because like parental lock, I'm not sure how it is nowadays, but it was super good back then. Yeah. So if my parents wanted me to not see any type of thing, I had to do some heavy lifting

to find that shit. Do you remember when you were at school too the school systems would block any website that was fun. They blocked YouTube. They blocked Google Images at my school. You just did proxy sites though. Oh, I had a friend that got suspended for using a proxy because they caught him doing

it. How'd they catch him? Because it was on the... Log or whatever? Yeah, it was on the log and they called him to the office i'm like what's this and they kicked him out of school for a week but like never got caught bitches nowadays it's like oh well you could just use 4g and on your phone and look at stuff at school like you don't need the school's computer oh my god that made me remember this one time at the library in like high school when i was a freshman like my friend was like showing me that you couldn't pull porn up on the computer so he looked up something like and then it was on google images and it was this just porn website at school like he found it

through google images or something he found it through an image like he went to the i don't know how he did it but he got to some porn website and he's like i'm like what he goes wait this wasn't supposed to happen we're in the middle of the library the computers are in the dead center of the library and and and he tried to exit out but computers back then weren't weren't as trustworthy so it froze up oh and so the bell the bell already had rung and you know how you have that five minute period so he was just showing me in this five minute period i'm like dude we have to go so we just left the library with the porn on was he logged into his like school account yeah oh fuck i did i did i don't i don't know what happened to him i say we were friends but we were more like acquaintances

you know people that you only talk to in your one class but for you for you know for storytelling it's easier to say friend yeah like i knew i had this acquaintance he was one of those kids that you only talk to in that certain class that you go to yep but you didn't know anything else outside of that you didn't hang out outside of school or anything he wasn't in your main friend group did i ever tell you i saw a guy at a public library looking at porn once like was he masturbating no he was just scrolling through some weird like really small porn blog it, like, so embarrassing for the person, and I also feel bad for him, but then I'm like,

oh, this creep, this is a public area. Have you seen those videos where, like, someone films, like, this old guy looking at porn? In a library, yeah. Yeah, there's this one video of this guy with, like, crazy hair. He goes, oh, hey. Yeah, I've seen it. He does that.

I kind of felt bad for him him even though he's being a fucking creep i know i feel like he's just like such an unaware creep and it's like oh he's aware yeah i don't know i just felt bad because it's like that's so embarrassing but then i gotta remember he's fucking doing that in public so i shouldn't feel bad for him exactly don't look at porn in public guys you should not do that that's not that's that's for when you're at home is it illegal uh to look at porn in public i don't know if there's a law against looking at porn in public i think doing it in a way that where you could expose it to people like at the library you're definitely exposing it because the computer this guy was at was facing everyone and i was like what the fuck you looking

at dude i didn't say that i filmed them actually i didn't let him know i filmed them but i had it on my phone for a while because i thought it was funny and i sent it to my friends but he was like just scrolling through some weird porn blog in the middle of the library and it's like, dude, you're not even trying to cover up the screen. Like how do you get to that point in life where you just don't give a shit? It's like, I'll just look at some porn. No one, like if they see me, I don't really care.

It's like they kick him out, he gets kicked out. Then he has the images in his brain. Holy shit. I remembered I read this whole book and It was precisely on why you masturbate. You read a book on why you masturbate? Yeah, because like some youth leader or something. Great way to like just start going into the story. We were learning like the sex lessons or whatever.

My church never did those. That sounds weird. We were like the sex lessons or whatever. My church never did those. That sounds weird. I went, I went. We were learning the sex lessons in church. It was, it was, it was sex ed, but in church, but it was mainly like. Really? Don't do like, don't do this shit when we go on youth trips and shit like that. And it taught you and it was teaching you what exactly they meant.

And so it's like, your body's going to start changing. You're to feel attracted, but don't act on those things you know it's like one of those one of that one of those types of things and they had books that they were like saying were good and so one of the youth leaders was like here's a book it was all it was all about kind of like uh what happens in your brain while you masturbate like the science of like the dopamine and why do you feel bad after you masturbate well that's actually god inside it was a christian book like that's like the sole purpose of the book wasn't about masturbation but that was a large section man i remember it was bookmarked okay so we feel weird when people ask us what we do

imagine it's like so what do you do i uh i wrote a book uh teaching christian kids the truth about masturbation oh yeah um that's what i'm gonna start saying in ubers i'm like i actually i write books about masturbation for uh for to educate christian children to educate the youth some of it i don't know if it was true one of the things was once you uh you know splooge once you splooge your like brain takes a snapshot of that image or whatever i don't i don't know about that not to where you can pull it up like perfectly in your brain but like that is kind of seared a little more into your memory at that moment well i actually maybe i could see that because when splooge. You get a huge dopamine rush. So I imagine your brain.

Would remember everything. That's happening. During a specific. Moment of like. Elevated dopamine. But I. What was the point. Of them bringing that up.

Just to be like. You're going to remember your sin. And feel guilty about it. I don't know. I don't remember the book. Was the book literally. Just teaching you about masturbation. It was teaching you about.

Just. Masturbation. Was it like a negative lesson? Porn. Just how you shouldn't do it. How you shouldn't look at breasts online? I know it feels good, but you shouldn't do it. You shouldn't do it, kids. Bad, bad, bad. Here we are on the Super Mega

Podcast to officially condone masturbation and pornography. Guys. Hey, and for all you guys doing No Nut November, when this podcast comes out, it's your last day of No Nut November, guys. So be strong, you know what I'm saying? Don't splooge.

Don't splooge. Please don't splooge. And Ryan and I say that if you masturbate once in your life, you're going to hell. That's just a fact. There are people that are just like, God damn it just

because they were listening to us on speakers and the conversations were kind of all right i mean it started us and then we just use the word masturbate a lot and whenever we use the fucking word masturbate it's just like when it's like one of those words you hear your head's like huh you know the thing is like someone talking about masturbation it's more it's more of a professional word than like jerk off but it's more jerk off it's more embarrassing dude are you gonna go beat your meat dude i'm gonna go slap my shaft around a little bit spank the monkey i'm gonna go choke the chicken i'm gonna go uh i'm gonna go i'm trying to think of some more i couldn't i'm gonna go jog on do you like don't don't you agree that the word masturbate is more of like an

uncomfortable word to say than like jerk off it's like it's like well jerk weird it's like jerk off you can it's like uh it's chill it's it's like one of those things where you can open the word be like jerk off and shut it yeah and shut it it's like one of those phrases where it feels like you're just getting it out you're just getting it out there but masturbate it's like masturbate yeah it's like drawn out and it's like too professional it's like it's a harsh word masturbate master is a commanding word and bait is a very violent word in in the way you use it like fuck or dick bitch masturbate has some sharp consonants yeah man if this podcast doesn't get demonetized because the like the computers go through the transcripts

and it's just picking up masturbate, masturbate. Okay, well, this podcast is no good anymore. I know. There's no way this is being monetized. Oh, god damn it. Seriously, big round of applause to YouTube for demonetizing literally 95% of the videos we upload so we can't make any money off of them. And then maybe like a day later being like

Oh just kidding they were family friendly the whole time They're all green in our fucking channel Literally they let go every single video Except the podcast best ofs not sure why Those are the ones they keep every other video Minus like two or three Every two months they let go of With Far Cry they were good for days

The moment it goes public Yellow Yeah so we started uploading videos way in advance. Then they get flagged, and then we appeal them before they go public. Sometimes we get lucky. Sometimes we get lucky. We got a series coming out real soon that I'm really excited about because it's a really, really good series, in my opinion,

that we already got all cleared for monetization. And I swear to Christ, but seriously, it's like every video we upload gets flagged, and we don't get to make like the proper revenue on it. That, you know, I mean, that's how we support ourselves. Especially with the holidays. Yeah. Like you get basically during the holidays, you get a higher RPM.

What is an RPM, Matthew? That basically means how much money you make per amount of YouTube video watched. Yeah. you make per uh amount of youtube video watched yeah because the reason that is is because uh advertisers put a lot of their ads uh during the holidays because like buy this but that's when people advertise the most yeah so therefore you make the you make more money in the last quarter of the year yeah so for youtubers everywhere it's kind of like this big bastion of ah big numbers but with the recent youtube shit it's just kind of average numbers it's like wow well thanks youtube i mean it's just disappointing knowing that it's like oh well we

could be making you know more off of our videos but thanks to youtube's stupid system we're not and i think what makes me the most upset is that all of the videos in the end are determined as family friendly so we lost the money for nothing and there's no form of compensation of course it's just well you don't get that revenue's gone sorry and YouTube's excuse is hey well the system is learning that's why when it lets go of videos it learns

not to flag videos that's not true it flags our videos more than ever and it lets them all go so the system's clearly not learning and then so let's for example you know cupheads episode one two three five six seven eight nine is nine the finale i think so yeah and nine the finale are all good they're all green number four on the other hand is confirmed as being like non-age appropriate yeah non-advertiser friendly

yeah and it's like what and the thing is they're not even specific about what makes the video like it would be so much better if they at least like gave you a time code like it's not advertiser friendly because the transcript picked uh inappropriate language up at four minutes and 60 seconds wait that didn't make it four minutes and 15 seconds it Wait, that didn't make sense. 4 minutes and 15 seconds. It's like shit like that. It's like, if they gave you a reason, if they were like, violence, it's like, okay, well, we talk about guns in this video. Alright, let's cut that out

and re-upload it. They gotta give themselves an out, though. Yeah, that's the whole, it's so stupid. It's unbelievable. YouTube is a little bit of a shitty company. Excuse my language. But, you know they uh sorry my my my just brain went back to like before i was a content creator on youtube and when i was just a fan of youtubers yeah those were some good old those were some good times

is it just childhood in general yeah just kind of like going over to like a friend's house and watching like a smosh video or some shit i mean i still do that not smosh but i still no nothing gets smoshed i'm just saying that's not what i do now like i'll i'll go to my friend's house and we'll just try to find really weird obscure youtube videos with like 20 views it's my it's one of my favorite things to do what we do is is I'll go and put up compilations. One time me and my friend group we did an odds are. Odds are we have to watch this hour long

King batch vine compilation. And we lost. Did you watch the whole thing? We got through half of it. So we made through half an hour. You gotta finish that man. Next time you're back in Columbia you have to go back and back and finish it could not do it and you know vines are like seven seconds or whatever so it's that's a shit ton of vines man dude yeah i uh i remember

i i lost a what are the odds when i was a freshman that was like i my friend and i had to listen to the entire 10 hour extended version of Life is Beautiful which was a track from Deadly Premonition and it's one that's like that song. How'd you have to listen to that? It was on YouTube. So we got to like pause and play. Would you just like talk and like have it in the background? We got four something hours in. Okay. Never

finished it though. But four hours and that's a lot. It's a good song though. It's actually a surprisingly good song. Have you listened? Have you heard it from deadly premonition yeah because i edited the game grumps that song is fucking awesome that game has good music i do have to say they reuse the same tracks over and over but that game has some pretty good music i just don't have any good memories because of the snafu that happened oh yeah i had to put in like door sound effects gun sound effects footsteps sometimes thunder lightning car door sound effects car driving sound effects everything after not lightning sorry just thunder sound shortly after we started working in game grumps ryan had to edit deadly premonition 14

episodes when the audio got lost so he had to like add all the sound effects in manually which is a lot more work than it seems yeah it was like 21 episodes we we uh came in and recorded a bunch of zombie noises oh i forgot about that yeah i just added in i forgot about that uh yeah it was fun i have to say that was like a fun little kind of just project uh looking back during it was it was uh the first seven episodes not so bad when i found out that the next seven episodes also didn't have sound i wasn't I wasn't too happy. Yeah, I wasn't much of a happy camper, but you know. You did kill my cat,

but I let things in the past slide. You know, I don't hold grudges. It's fine. Rest in peace, Banana, but it's cool, man. I'm not mad. R.I.P. R.I.P., man. Pour one out for my homie, Banana. My sweet, my sweet dearest Banana,

who the hair on his back stands up, and I don't know why it always is standing up. Always? So, veterinarians in the comments, if you know why his hair stands up. It's just always, every time I got him, it just stands up in the middle of his back. And I brush it down, and it stays up. Don't know why. It looks weird. That's not where he licks his back or whatever?

He literally can't get to that part of his back.'s like straight on his spine and it just like his hair stands up like uh like uh like a fish that has a fin okay it's weird just like prickly ryan's movie recommendation of whatever it's time for ryan's movie recommendation of whatever i saw the best movie i've seen all year. Damn. And when I first saw it, I was like, it's really good and then I thought about it some more and I want to go see it again. It's definitely my favorite viewing experience

and it just might be my favorite movie of 2017. It's Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. That billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri. That's comma Missouri, okay? I really want to see it.

The trade looked awesome. So good. And Tucker saw it too and said it was incredible. Have you ever seen in Bruges? I have not. Have you ever seen Seven Psychopaths? I have not. Oh, have you heard of any of those?

From the same director? Was Brad Pitt in Seven Psychopaths? No. Sam Rockwell. I'm thinking of Twelve Monkeys. Yeah. But, no, it was just a really good movie. I think you'd like it.

Yeah, I definitely want to see it. Was it emotional? It had, like, emotional scenes, but it's kind of a mixture of dark tone and, you know, lightheartedness. I don't want to say lighthearted it's not like a happy comedy it's yeah it's uh i don't want to give too much away i don't want people to expect i don't want to tell people what to expect but i just want to say i enjoyed that they cared about the characters they put in their story because you know when you read a good book and you're

like that character was memorable. I remember that character. And you can kind of list the character traits off because they were kind of just a good character, not just a stale kind of one-dimensional thing. I liked most characters in that movie. That's awesome. Woody Harrelson, Sam Rockwell. Who played the lead?

I'm slipping on her name. But the lead actress was super good. Oh man, I really want to see it now. Maybe I'll go see it tonight or tomorrow night. Who knows? i got so much work to do because the holidays are coming up you and i both brother we are swamped dude we are swamped for the next three weeks except for this upcoming week because we're going somewhere yes we are we're going to disney world yay so yeah i'm going to Disney World. That'll be fun. But yeah, guys, that's Ryan's movie

recommendation of whatever. I hope you guys liked it. So if Ryan says that that's his favorite movie of the year, then that means... Might be. I haven't finished

the year yet. Okay, but that means you should probably go see it. I will probably see it and give my comments on a later podcast. So stay tuned unless you're listening to this

way later and you can go skip to that podcast right now go do it then but this has been a wonderful episode 70 of our podcast we'll be back next week with episode 71 oh yeah and sorry last week there was no podcast because it was Thanksgiving and we just uploaded the cooking with Finn Wolfhard

video instead of the podcast and we hope you guys like that because we had a really fun time making it. Got more stuff like that coming soon. Not a fun time eating the food though. I did not have a fun time eating that food. Tucker's drink was the fucking worst. That was seriously like the worst thing ever.

We didn't even talk about that at all. I want to wait till we have Tucker back on. Yeah. So we can talk about our meals in length and the experience. At a later date, at maybe the next podcast or an upcoming podcast, we will definitely talk more maybe the next podcast or, uh, an upcoming podcast.

We will definitely talk more about the cooking video we did with Finn Wolfhard. Yeah. And, uh, like more behind the scenes stuff about that. But unfortunately Tucker took a trip to Peru. So, um,

we'll be seeing him whenever he gets back from Peru. He might not ever get back. He might, uh, he might be evading the law, but I can't go into much. Yeah. But, uh, Tucker, if you're listening to our podcast on your wonderful trip in Peru.

On like a little ham radio, and he's got a full beard. He's like up in the mountains, hiding from the cops. Yeah. We miss you, buddy. Come home. Because his plan is to build a rocket ship in Peru. Oh, sorry. Cannot talk about that. we miss you buddy come home because his plan is to build a rocket ship in Peru sorry but anyways thank you all for joining us on the podcast we appreciate everyone

who listens we appreciate definitely everyone who supports us in every way whether that be watching the videos commenting liking responding you know through social media or just overall just being a fan or telling your friends buying the merch yeah buy the merch for real guys because that's really helping us out

in this whole youtube shit how they're demonetizing all this shit any way of support you guys show thank you so much we appreciate it um i still sometimes don't understand why because i see myself as you know just some guy that happened to land here. Same. But here I am. So, and people seem to fucking enjoy it for some reason. I don't, whatever. I don't know.

I always, it's just that I can't get past it. It's weird. I can't get past it. Same, man. I still can't. Like, here I am in your life. Here you are in mine. Yes, we have the sweet life.

Most of the time you and me we got hypocrisy so come on now now