supermegashow - EP 71 - Pain Olympics

Episode Date: December 9, 2017

We talk broken bones, drink machines, and the Christ in Time Square. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer-beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Hey everyone, welcome to SuperMegaCast, episode 71. It's officially December, which means now you can be jamming out to some of those Christmas tunes, or Hanukkah tunes, whichever you want. I don't know, but there's too many prominent Hanukkah songs.

Have you ever heard a Hanukkah song? What was it called? Give Me Your Graces Unto Us. Really? It's a very popular Hanukkah song. Oh my God. I had no idea there was actually Hanukkah music. I thought it would sound kind of like, when I think of Hanukkah music. We are here together now so that Jesus will not be remembered as the Christ our Savior.

You don't know that one? Oh, yeah. I forgot about that one. Whenever I think of Hanukkah music, for some reason I think of the Tetris theme because it just sounds like music that would play at like a Jewish wedding. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Hey, so you know how this is episode 71? Yeah.

Here's some fun facts about the number 71. Yeah, dude. Okay, 71 squared is 5,041. Which that actually will be the finale episode of our podcast. Some might say, how big is 71? Just how big is 71? How big is it? 71 seconds is equal to 1 minute and 11 seconds.

Whoa. Right? That's three ones. Ready for this one? Yes. The number of decimal digits it has is two. Decimal digits? Yes.

You're right. The sum of 71's digits is eight. Eight? And there's more coming soon, so. Does the website say that? Guys, we got more 71 facts coming soon hang tight now these there won't be 71 facts it's facts about the number 71 it's a business me and my son started okay episode 100 we have to go back and check to see if they ever updated they added more guys we got to see

if they added more facts about the number 70 how How many facts are there about the number 71? I think it was just all math problems. There was nothing like big about it. 71 is a deficient number because of the sum of its proper divisors. One is less than itself. Its deficiency is 70. What? I don't know what that is.

Come on, man. That's a fun fact. That is fun. 71 as a number. Wikipedia says. Oh, I forgot they have like a page for every fucking number. Oh, they want me to donate because of. Yeah, it's that time of year where

Wikipedia like throws like a million boxes in your face that say, please, for the love of Christ, donate. You know, 71 is the natural number following 70 and preceding 72. It has its own Wikipedia page? That's what it says on its Wikipedia page. Wikipedia page? That's what it says on its Wikipedia page.

The Wikipedia page. Dude, I can't believe that. I'm so blessed to be doing the 71st episode of this podcast. For real, man. That's a lot of episodes. I know we always say this. It's like, wow, look at this number and how many episodes. That's a lot of episodes.

That's every episode we do that. We didn't do it on episode 70. Are you sure? Positive. I just edited that one. We did not do an episode. We did not do episode. We did it on 69. We definitely did it on 69. 68, 67, 66. We probably have done it every

single podcast but 70. Which is good. Well, no, because on episode one, we weren't like, wow, so many episodes. Man, we've come a long way. Guys, we've made it to two episodes. It'll be in my head that we've done a shit ton once we reach 100. Because I'll be like, holy fuck.

Because eventually we'll get to 200 if we do this for another year and a half. I think we will hit 200. Because sometimes I imagine we'll release every now and then two podcasts in one week. It happens, yeah. We might do that more in 2018. Who knows? No promises. Wink, wink.

I don't know. Because we can't keep our promises. We're really bad at keeping promises on YouTube and off YouTube. I think off of YouTube, I keep my promises about 50% of the time. Yeah, sure. That's a good number.

We went and got some sushi yesterday. Yes, we did. Which put me in a good mood for the rest of the day. Dude, sushi puts you in a good number. We went and got some sushi yesterday. Yes, we did. Put me in a good mood for the rest of the day. Dude, sushi puts you in a good mood, especially good sushi. We didn't have to wait a second. No, because we go to Kula, the place we've suggested before, and usually the wait time is like two hours. We get there, and they're like, have a seat.

We're like, do you want to sit at the bar? We're like, ooh, the bar, yes. They actually let us bypass the wait because we're such famous YouTubers. Were you like me continuously making awkward eye contact with the people across the way from us? Yeah, in fact, the guy was trying to take a picture of the Rotain Sushi Bar and I kept like smiling. Did you really? But I was doing this kind of smile like... Did he notice?

Maybe. He took like six. It was more gum than teeth. My favorite smile is when you show more gum than you show teeth. Your smiles always remind me of just kind of like, like you, it's like a, it's like a snotty kid smile sometimes. Cause you do it. No, no, no.

That that's like snotty kid smile. Cause you do the thing where you're just like, you have like, you know, like, yeah, I don't know how to explain it. You know, like, yeah, I don't know how to explain it. You do this weird, smug, but funny, unaware, like character when you do those smiles. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you.

I hope that's not actually you. And I'm not like hurting your feelings by saying you're unaware. No, Ryan, my feelings aren't hurt at all. But wait, wait, wait, wait, Ryan. OK. You know what would redeem this? If maybe you took a moment to thank our wonderful sponsor, MeUndies. Oh, yeah!

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Thanks, guys. Back to the podcast. Here we go. I don't know how we come back in here. So, Ryan. Yeah? Tell me, what is your favorite chocolate? Holidays are upon us.

That's a great time to eat chocolate. What's your favorite brand of chocolate? My favorite chocolate to eat are the Dove milk chocolate squares with caramel inside of them. Damn, dude, you cannot go wrong with those. Dove chocolate's amazing. Cause that's like the higher quality of the, uh, what's that shitty chocolate that we all ate in school? Hershey's?

World's finest? World's finest. Which actually is not the world's finest chocolate, believe it or not. No, it's not. I'd say like the Dove caramel filled squares are like, it's like, oh, wow, what if this was good? And that's what it is what it is yeah dude world's finest i remember i had to sell that for school like world's finest chocolate oh shit dude was by far not the world's finest it wasn't bad though it was not the world's worst chocolate

can i add in another chocolate just one more dude ritter sport yes the one with the butter cracker the cracker thing inside yep boom i Boom. I mean, it's a bit sweet. I would like to have maybe some wine with it. I think it would go perfect with wine. Wine and chocolate? Like a nice, I don't like red wine, but I couldn't picture drinking a dessert wine with such a sweet chocolate as Ritter Sport. Sound like a girl that just got broken up with. Wine and chocolate.

Dude, like wine goes well with dessert. Wine does go to dude it like wine goes well with dessert wine wine does go well with dessert wine goes well i love wine i'm drinking wine right now had a whole bottle this morning for breakfast we're talking about our drink of choice what is your drink of choice uh i like gin and tonic when i say we were talking about i'm in like not in the podcast not like i just randomly like in my head was like so we were talking about uh yeah sure but last night we were talking about like a drink of choice. You said yours was. I like gin and tonic with a lime. When I go to a bar, it's like my go-to is a gin and tonic.

Yeah. Gin and tonic is good. Like your go-to is the first thing you order without a thought. You're just like, I'll have this as I browse what else they have. Exactly. It's like a good starter drink. Yeah. Mine is a rum and Coke.

Just because I just got used to it when I was in college. Yeah. I don't think you can go wrong with either one of those drinks. How about a coke and tonic? Whoa, that sounds weird. That sounds disgusting. That sounds awful. Like anything, like mixing, tonic is really gross by itself. I don't know if you ever had just straight tonic.

Like tonic water? Tonic water, yeah. It's gross. It's like bitter and not, I don't even, what is it? Water? That's been tonic. Weird tasted? I don't know. Tonic water. Tonic with's been tonic'd. Weird tasted? I don't know.

It's tonic'd water. Tonic'd with an E.D. What does tonic even mean? Tonic, I like tonic. I don't know, bubbly? I don't fucking know. Cause it, no, cause it's not, it has like a taste. Well, I'm gonna look it up now because you bring up these things. You know, club soda is like... Why are you making me do homework, Matt? I just wanna know, I wanna get to the bottom of what I'm drinking. Then why don't you look it up?

I didn't tell you to look it up. Yeah, but you begged this question and then we don't know. Because I was asking if you knew what tonic was. A medical substance taken to give a feeling of vigor or well-being? Really? Short for tonic water. Okay. So is it just like it's trying to be like, I'm medicine

water. Okay, I guess it makes you feel good. I'm going to ask, what is tonic... Not tomic. Atomic water. Atomic water! Tonic water. Tonic water is a carbonated soft drink in which

quinine... Quinine, that's what it is. That's the nasty tasting stuff. Originally used as a prophylactic... That sounds like a medical condition. Against malaria. Okay! Tonic water usually now has a significantly lower quinine content and is

consumed for its distinctive bitter flavor. Okay, when I was thinking of tonic, for some reason I was thinking it makes me think of mosquitoes and I don't know why, but I thought if I said that you'd be like, what? Why does it make you think of mosquitoes? And then I'd feel stupid. But it's connected to malaria, so somewhere down the road I was like, oh, quinine, make you think of mosquitoes? And then I'd feel stupid. But it's connected to malaria. So somewhere down the road, I was like, oh, quinine.

That's for malaria. And that stuck with me. Look at that. Quinine is fucking gross, though. So in Far Cry 2, all you would have had to do is drink some tonic water. Yeah, just drink some tonic water, man. Tonic water is, it's only good with gin, I think, or any alcohol. Because otherwise, it's like, why would anyone want to drink this except for malaria you make that classic mistake at soda fountain machines which i have to bring up a gripe about soda fountain machines and it's pissing me off remind me

anyways so uh you know you just go for some water you get a cup full of water you go take a sip what is it it's not water but it is it's fucking club soda. Yeah. Coming out of the thing. Who drinks that with their meal? I don't know. It's gross, dude. Like someone's just like, I can't enjoy soda, so I have to enjoy the bubbly some other way. It's just like Dobby the house elf is enjoying it. It's literally just like soda with no flavor.

It's like, oh man, I love this completely boring, flavorless soda. Boy, I would love a carbonated flat beverage. Like LaCroix is not bad because it's got a little bit of flavor. But overall, I'm not a big fan

of sparkling water because when I take a sip, I want it to be something more. It's like a bad hand job. You want it to be like a sweet soda, but it's not. It's just not a sweet soda. It just tastes like water. I'd rather just a sweet soda but it's not it's just not a sweet soda it just tastes

like water i'd rather have straight water because it's smooth the bubbles are teasing my mouth and they're being like you know you could be drinking a sweet sprite or a coca-cola but nope you got this flavorless shit at least give it a hint of a flavor maybe yeah yeah like just straight up does yeah like straight up like san pellegrino uhino or like I forgot the other popular brand. It's not good. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small.

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That's a fact. Cold, hard fact. You can look up. You've heard it here. First folks, the facts, super mega cast.

Um, so soda machines. Yeah. I am starting to despise their inclusion at the movie theaters and at like places. Let's say for instance like moe's the southwest grill but other places like chipotle and stuff like that not any soda machines i know what you're talking about the all-in-one soda machines the big red box where nothing tastes like what it's supposed to taste like because you got every flavor that people have previously

gotten like mixed with it it always have the has the aftertaste of Fruit Loops. Every fucking time. Yeah. It does like I get Coke. It's not Coke. I get Sprite. It's not Sprite. Any Fanta. Not Fanta.

Nothing tastes like it's supposed to. Out of any. I see them and I'm like boy I could use a real nice Coke with this salty popcorn. You know that sweet. Yeah. Just Coke going down your fucking throat. It's like a good rich flavor. You don't want fruity with popcorn.

You want a nice savory Coke. But I go and, you know, you just go and get a Coke from one of these machines. You take a sip after all that salty popcorn. What does it taste like? Fucking Froot Loops or just some shitty. What's that thing that people mix like all the different drinks. They go down the line. I know what you're talking about it's not power hour it's a um suicide fuck no i know what it's called dude i knew this because

i worked at a fast food restaurant where you get all and that's gross by the way if you do that that's pretty gross in my opinion feel free to do it i don't like it no like mixing and there's some drinks that shouldn't go together like Sprite and we're letting these soda machines get off the hook here. Yeah, sorry. Like you know what Coke tastes like from one of those machines? It tastes like I poured a bowl of Froot Loops and instead of

milk, I used Coke and then you took the Froot Loops out. Yeah. And then I drank the Coke from that. Yes. That's a perfect representation. Which honestly wouldn't be that bad if that's what I was in the mood for if i was in the mood for some kind of fruity coke that might be good but if i want just a nice clean rich coke no it's not what i want like but but people they'd rather have the i have a feeling people like most people don't care in the comments give us your opinions of these stupid machines like my go-to with those machines is lime Fanta.

I love lime, and I like Fanta. And it's fruity. It's fruity. It's fruity. It's fruity. And I don't, like, I actually gave up for that reason going for colas from those machines because they don't taste good. So I'm like, I might as well get a fruit beverage so I don't have to deal with that taste.

I just stick to my Coke Icy's. Dude, Coke Icy's at the movie theater? Coke Icy's are pretty good. That's good shit. That is really good shit. That's like my, whenever I go see a movie, if I have the calories now, I try to just get like a small popcorn and a Coke Icy. But at the Arclight,

I'll have some wine and some popcorn. And you take the popcorn, you pour the wine over the popcorn. Oh, yeah. You mix it up. Well, actually, I prefer to kind of just throw pieces of popcorn in my wine and let the soft just kernels go down my throat. I'm imagining like you put some popcorn in and the popcorn absorbs the wine and gets like really fat and mushy and then just like.

And then, oh, God, just imagine like a cup filled with that. So it's just like drinking a sludge of popcorn drenched in wine. But there's still going to be the little like hard, sharp bits of like the kernels. Yeah. Like it's stuck in your teeth usually. That's fucking gross. Yeah. Dude, I hate choking on popcorn in a movie theater when like a little piece of a kernel gets in the back of your throat and you're like.

I've never choked on popcorn. You've never choked on popcorn? No, I just, I just always get annoyed by the things that get in my teeth. Oh my God, man. That's incredible. That is a crazy track record. How is that a crazy? I think most people have never choked on popcorn.

I think most people have choked on popcorn. Why would you, why? It's such an easy thing to choke on. Popcorn, it's got the little like flaky kernel parts that will get stuck in your throat. I choke on popcorn at least four times a year really yeah holy shit it just like not like but like it's like i mean you gotta swallow extra hard i think most of the time i choke it's due to a drink not food dude i hate choking man because it's mostly just it goes down the wrong pipe or whatever choking is the wrong pipe the least fun thing that can happen to you while eating.

Well, maybe like. What if a guy burst into a Chipotle as you're eating a burrito and breaks your femur in half? That would be a little less fun than choking. Okay. But I think choking is. More fun. Is on the realistic side, the least fun you can have while eating. Realistic.

You're saying like a guy won't break into wherever you're eating and break your femur. Yeah, like that would happen. Two weeks from now that happens. I hope that never happens. I never want to experience the pain of a broken femur. It's the most painful bone to break, right? Because it's so fucking thick. It's a big bone.

And that snap. Ow! And you can't move the rest of your leg without you know. You're gonna feel it in your femur. I'm tensing up thinking about it. Man. You'd have a limp for the rest of your life after breaking your femur. Really? Fuck man. I said I bet. I'm not saying. Like. I'm not a doctor.

You know. If I was that's what I would say. Dr. McGee. You know what's gonna happen Ryan? In the next two weeks you're gonna choke on popcorn and I'm gonna get my femur broken at a restaurant. Okay. I mean I get the lesser get my femur broken at a restaurant. Okay. I mean, I get the lesser of two evils. Unfortunately, yeah.

Well, you'll see. Choking on popcorn is no fun. It's like a different type of choking. It's not the same type of choking as like, let's say you're eating pork chops. It's not like that type of choking. It's like a microscopic bit of popcorn is tickling the back of your throat. It's not like you can't breathe or anything, but it's very unpleasant. If I broke my femur, I think I would punch myself until I made myself pass out because the pain would be too tremendous.

The pain might make you pass out. Apparently the pain of breaking your femur. Just instantly makes you pass out. I hope so. Oh, man. That is seriously the one bone. I mean, minus my spine. That's the one bone I don't want to break.

Yeah. Is my femur. I'll break some ribs. I'll break my fingers. I've broken my foot. I've never broken anything. Ooh, you're lucky, man. Haven't fractured anything.

I got a hairline fracture in my arm once because I fell. And then... Do they call it a hairline fracture? Because looking at it, it just looks like a piece of hairs on your bone. It's just such a... It's not like a... It just cracked. Yeah, and there's nothing you can do about it. You just got to wait for it to heal. You don't need like a piece of hairs on your bone it's just such a it's not like a it just cracked yeah and there's nothing you can do about it you just gotta wait for it to

heal you don't need like a sling or anything so the bone just it's just like yeah just a little little thin crack but um i broke my foot in high school because i was being a i was being a goofball and uh i wasn't wearing any shoes at school and it was like lunchtime oh you have to wear shoes at school well i had flip-flops and i'd taken them off got it and uh my friend was like lunchtime. Oh, you have to wear shoes at school, though. Well, I had flip-flops, and I had taken them off. Got it. And my friend was like a little bit away, and my backpack was on the ground, so I'm like, I'm going to run,

and I'm going to leap off my backpack, like use it as a springboard. So I did, but there was a textbook in my backpack, like at this angle, Ryan, you see? And my foot went like that on it, which made the backpack flip over, and then I flew through the air, and I slammed the side of my foot down on the concrete and just shattered it and the shatter

went through my foot and like through like three of my toes and it uh it hurt very fucking bad oh my god i can imagine and i got the pain like of breaking something well at first you don't really feel it i was like like at first does it just feel like if I were to stub my toe or do something really like if I were to break my toe and I stubbed my toe is, is breaking that toe kind of just the next step up from stubbing. In fact, ironically, I broke my toe the day before, but I didn't find out because, uh, then I didn't find out until the day I broke my foot, which was the day after, cause I got an x-ray. I broke my toe because a kid, I was wearing flip-flops and a kid opened the door and it twisted my toe back. Jesus Christ. A lot of blood.

Thanks, Alston. That was the kid's name. Anyway. Fucking Alston. Fucking Alston, dude. Alston Powers. But like, I got up and like, it was like a really dull pain. It just felt wrong when I started walking. And then I realized like,

oh shit, the bones don't feel like they're in the right place anymore oh that sounds like an it was awful i don't like that feeling the bones were like all like it's like it's like nails on a chalkboard 24 7 that's how i felt i was like oh my god i walked and i was like things have been moved around in a way that they shouldn't have been and then all of a sudden the pain started like ringing louder in my foot that's the only way i can describe it. It was like a ringing pain. And then I was like, ow, ow, ow, ow. And it just started getting worse and worse and it wouldn't stop.

And I was like, holy shit. I definitely just broke my foot. And then my friends had to help carry me to the bus. And then I got on the bus. And then the pain really started. And I started crying like a little bitch on the school bus. But I didn't want anyone to see. Were you crying like a little bitch? I was crying. And I had an ice pack from the nurse. That's being a little bitch crying started crying like a little bitch on the school bus. I didn't want anyone to see. Were you crying like a little bitch?

I was crying. And I had an ice pack from the nurse. That's being a little bitch crying. I was a little bitch. Who cries over a broken bone, am I right? A bitch. I'm sitting there with my ice pack, which had melted by now, and I have tears in my eyes. And then I spilled my ice pack on my crotch, so it looked like I had pissed myself from the pain.

And then my dad had to come help me get off the bus. And he took me straight to the doctor. And then to form the cast after the x-ray, you have to stand on it. So I had to like stand on my broken foot for like 30 seconds to harden the cast. I got to stay home from school the next day. So that was fun. Okay. Except it was miserable because it's just such an awful pain.

And that night I was getting some Oreos. I was like, I'm going to, I'm going to crutch myself over to the fridge and get some oreos and milk i had a glass of milk some oreos and my crutches fell and i slipped and just came down on my freshly broken foot yeah but you're just looking back you're just a clumsy person in general i can be i can be a little so like i can see how all these things happen it happens dude clumsy clumsy like there's accidents and then there are like people who are prone to accidents happening. But the weird part is, most of these things were out of your control. Yeah.

Just the crutch just, like, slipped, and... I just know, like, in the apartment, I'll be, like, I'll be sitting in bed, and randomly I'll hear this. Ah! Like, or like this. Just, I'll hear something like this. Ramona! Ramona, no! It's because he knocked shit over.

Banana's a little shit that for some reason gets such joy out of knocking things over. In fact, what did he knock over in your room this week, Ryan? Oh, this could have been very painful for me. You got lucky, man. I was enjoying a glass of wine one night alone in my room and i left the wine glass on top of my dresser my door was open and you know banana likes to go into my room he might want to chew on some cables but he's never done that in my room only your room he hasn't actually done that in a very long time which is good job yeah so he he just likes to fuck around

with things as any as any cat would. So he decided it would be a good idea to mess with the wine glass and knock it over the dresser. So it shattered on the floor. We weren't home at the time. No. By the time we got home, it was nighttime. All the lights are off in our apartment. So, you know, can't see the floor, see anything. I go into my room, and to turn on the lights in my room, I have to walk across my room.

Yeah. Because they're right next to my tv and uh I step on something and it hurt a good bit it started just stinging and I was like well that doesn't feel nice and so I turned on my um flashlight and I noticed there's a there's about a I'd say, half of the cup. Yeah. The bowl is still in place, but jagged. And, like, just ready for me to fully step onto it. You almost stepped on, like, you would have had to go to the hospital. Yes. If you stepped on that fully. That would have shredded your foot off.

Luckily, I only stepped on the tiny pieces. Yeah, and also, I'm confused. Don't cut up my feet, though. I'm genuinely curious. I like I've dropped glasses. I've seen glasses break. Yeah. I'm genuinely curious. I like I've dropped glasses. I've seen glasses break. I don't know how this glass fell with such a velocity that it went like eight feet in every direction.

Well, because it's compact. And when something separates, there's a release of, there's an extraordinary amount of energy that's released when something breaks like that. Yeah, but I've dropped glasses. And it didn't it didn't go that far like like this was seriously the glass was like eight feet this was also not

heavy glass this was like light glass yeah it dude it was everywhere yeah tell me about it i was sweeping it up and i was like jesus christ i was in bed and randomly i just felt like it was like ah on my knee and i look and i'm like a piece of glass was in my sheets um and then another time I was walking through my room and this is after I thought everything was cleaned up and all of a sudden I'm like fuck I so I had to get tweezers and pull a little shard of glass out from my toe that's the thing about glass man it's see-through so it's like and it's so tiny if it's everywhere it's like fuck well I'm gonna be stepping on glass for a while I hate the I hate the type of pain being cut is, that slicing.

It's awful. Yeah. So, I mean, those of you have probably had a lot of painful experiences. So besides us not playing a game correctly, put in the comments down below what your most painful experience in your lifetime has been. What is your most painful experience? Fuck. Since I haven't broken anything.

If you break something, that'll be it probably but probably my most pain okay one of two things one time i had a panic attack and my chest closed up and it felt like i was having a heart attack oh god i've heard panic attacks are like absolutely terrifying and awful i couldn't breathe and i was trying like i was making this noise like i was like because i was trying to get air in but like it felt like I couldn't get it in Does it feel like you're dying? It felt like someone was sitting on my chest as well as there was

a burning sensation in my chest and I couldn't breathe, and I was weak and lightheaded. Oh my god, that's terrifying It's happened to me twice, but it hasn't happened since high school so, yay for me, I went to the cardiologist and they were like, sorry, we can't tell what's wrong with you

unless you're having one of these attacks and we can monitor it live on the spot. I'm like, oh, cool. Thanks. They bring in scary clown pictures. They said arrhythmia might have been. They said that's maybe one of the things, but I doubt it. Maybe. You would think a cardiologist

would be like, yeah, that's maybe arrhythmia. He was just like, that's a big deal. Arrhythmia. Could be. As I said, it hasn't happened in a long time.

Could have been minor cardiac arrest. Who knows these things? So it was either that or one time when I was a small little boy, my cousin had a trampoline in his backyard.

Oh God. And I love this trampoline. One of my most painful stories too is a trampoline story. And so, you know that move you do? I got to stand up to kind of, because I got to explain it to Matt. And maybe Matt can help me explain it into words for you guys.

All right, I'll translate it. So you know that move where you like go, like you jump down on your knees like this? Yeah, you jump back up and do a front flip back onto your feet. Yep, exactly. I was going for that, but I launched myself off from the far left side of the trampoline, which means I didn't go up. It means I went forward, but my knees were already in place to go down.

Oh shit. So I, I landed perfectly my knees on the metal bar at the end of the trampoline. And then I fell off of the trampoline after that and I'm just like ahhhh you know when you're a kid and you just belt out you just gotta scream man my aunt came like Connor just went running

into the house just like and then my aunt came what's wrong what's wrong and I'm just like ahhh my legs I can't feel my legs would have been even better if I looked down and it looked like a grenade blew feel my legs would have been even better if i looked down and it looked like a grenade blew off my legs like my legs just exploded from the knee down like they're like the i just blasted the bottom half of your legs off like clean off like a entropic thunder yeah dude

that's an image i'd love to see like like a like a freeze frame of you coming down and hitting your knees on the metal bar and the bottom half of your legs blowing off extraordinary speed just I'm like you hear the sounds of gunfire what's wrong see I want that to be the thumbnail image but I don't think they're gonna make that ad uh friendly because they're like there's blood in that I know but I think those two were definitely the most paved oh there's one more there's a third one that was pretty painful i was going to i was going down a really steep hill on a bike and i put on the front brakes and you can guess what happened from there flipped over the handlebars flip forward and completely tore the skin off my right like part of my right arm you can still see

the hey see that scar right i got one too on my elbow see i just remember looking at it was just red and like in light pink meat and i was like ew because you know like the skin's gone at that point gotta wait for that shit to grow back oh god i remember i hated the look of it yeah i i fell off a trampoline once i i flew too far and uh i made contact with the ground with my jaw oh my god just on the side of my jaw i Oh my God. Just on the side of my jaw. I never want to, like, the thought of breaking my jaw and feeling the bones not sit right and like scraping against each other. Oh my God. Oh man, people who have had their jaw broken and wired shut, let us know how that was in

the comments because that sounds truly awful. I'm not going to read these. I will, but it's going to be hard to read these comments because every now and then I'm like, oh, oh fuck this one time like i don't i almost don't even want people to put their most painful story in the comments because they read that and be like but you know what go ahead let's see what's your most what's your most painful story remember the most like the most cringe i've ever done from seeing pain was something was a really simple thing it was from jackass oh it's the paper cuts thing it's it's it's when they took the cardboard uh boxes i'm covering my ears and they and they

slid them through the webbings of their fingers and feet yep to cut that it's like that wasn't even a stunt that was just that was just sadistic yeah that was like oh my god weird it's like why oh i'm thinking i can't i hate that so fucking much like my my toes and my fingers are like That was just sadistic. Yeah. That was like, oh my God. That was just weird. It's like, why? Why would you do that? Oh, I'm thinking, I can't, I hate that so fucking much. Like my toes and my fingers are like clenching together. I'm cringing hard right now. All right, we should, let's stop talking about pain because people are probably like, I don't want to listen to this anymore.

Let's move on to something else. Matt, what are we moving on to? I'll tell a story. I got a story from when I was in probably seventh grade. Mind if I move for this story? Sure. Okay. Ryan's moving to Wisconsin, guys.

We're going to be doing Super Mega over Skype from now on. See you guys. All right. So when I was in about – sorry, I'll start now. When I was in about seventh grade – Almost. Oh, hold on. There we go.

All right. When I was in about seventh grade, I went on this church retreat with some friends, like just a whole bunch of people. And there was this kid there who I didn't really get along with that well, but like we weren't enemies or anything. He was just. Are you about to like. Yeah.

So I killed him and nobody knows about that. So I thought I'd just bring it up on the pod. Finally, just, you know, it's been, it's been long enough. You can't be charged for a crime that happened more than three years ago. Yeah, you can. Cold case. What? Cold case.

You have to cut this out now. No, but anyway, there was a girl that I liked at the time, and she was on the retreat as well. What was her name? I can't name names in this one. No, but like... I'll make a fake name. I'll say, let's say her name is Brittany, okay? So, I really like this Brittany girl girl and i really wanted to impress her i wanted to make a good impression

on her okay she went to my school and uh i was like wow this is the first time you know we're hanging out outside of school uh maybe she could see that i'm like a cool dude uh so you know we're all kind of hanging out and then there's this other guy I'll give him the name of Roger Roger so Roger is kind of you know is Roger interested in Britney too? No but we are in this auditorium and

there's a guy speaking on stage and I'm kind of up near the front we're all sitting on the floor and it's a pretty big auditorium couple hundred kids my age in it. Brittany's in there, and I'm sitting right near Roger, like two or three people away from Roger.

Just in the middle of the guy speaking, Roger accidentally let a little something out, and it started, and he just stopped for a second, and then just kept going. Oh, farting. Yes. Okay.

And it went on for a good like three or four seconds. And then the guy on stage like stopped speaking because they like caught him so off guard. And Roger looks at me and just goes, oh, Matt. No, come on. In front of the entire auditorium. He goes, oh, Matt, that's disgusting. Did he pull it off? How can I defend myself in that moment?

Because then it was like, no, it was him. He did it. Yeah, exactly. And I just remember in that moment, I felt so much better. Were you friends with Roger? I said, we were like acquaintances. Oh, so he did it as a dick move. He did it because he was so embarrassed.

He didn't know what to do. So he just looked at me. It wasn't like, haha, I'm going to embarrass'm gonna embarrass no it wasn't like it it was like he literally just threw it on someone else little worm and he does that and the girl i liked was nearby and i'm just thinking like oh my fucking god i can't believe this just happened and i'm just sitting there like my heart's racing i'm like did that really just happen did he just pin that on me in front of everyone that i'm spending the whole weekend with at this place so afterwards i go up to him and i was like what the heck was that about why and i was so mad he's like what dude well when i started i was like i

already let some out i figured i wasn't gonna stop and i was just like dude i was so fucking pissed really why'd you blame it on me and he's like i'm sorry dude and like i was like dude i was and like telling it now like i still feel a little angry about that that was so embarrassing it's such a shit mood it is it's just like i don't know you know you know me i every time there's a bad smell every every time you gotta own up to it i own i always own up to my adultarts. It's the adult responsible thing to do. Has there ever been a time where I farted and I went, wasn't me? No. Honestly, I can't say it.

Even in a group, I will say, sorry, that was me. I'll try to warn you in advance. Yeah, exactly. That's very kind of you. And I appreciate that. Sometimes I give you a little sly smile. Sometimes. I'll be like, I know what that means.

I know. But like, I don't, you know what, dude? I don't know like a little kid like how you tell that they pooped themselves they got that face like i know what that means yeah dude but like for for fuck's sake roger wherever you are i hope that i hope you got a sweet piece of karma for that one i hope the same thing happened to you while you were on a date. No, I hope someone got killed and then someone was like, oh, it was Roger. The universe like balancing out with that.

With like that horrific event. And with that Britney girl, I found out later that she liked my best friend, so that's how that's... No, she probably would have liked me if she hadn't thought I was a disgusting pig. That's fine. I had a girlfriend in a youth group who eventually ended up dating one of my friends from youth group.

I worked with that friend, didn't I? You did work with that friend. He was my coworker. Yeah, he was. Are they back together? I don't know. Because I know they separated because she wanted times with other guys. That's such a weird personal thing to talk about on the podcast.

That was her legitimate excuse. Yeah. But, like, I can't, you can't blame that. She's, like, people are in their early 20s. Yeah. This is the time where you learn things. And I think people make mistakes in terms of relationships the most. Also.

But if you're still making those same mistakes by the time you're 40, then you might have a problem. Even in your 30s, maybe you should cool it down by then. I think 20s is definitely the time where you don't purposely, you shouldn might have a problem. Even in your 30s, maybe you should cool it down. I just think 20s is definitely the time where you shouldn't purposely make mistakes. But it's when mistakes happen and that's how you grow and learn and become... Your 20s, I feel like you're like that period of time right before you're like a true adult.

And it's like this is the last part of your life where you're going to make big mistakes and learn from them. And you're going to try shit and do shit. And then you're going to learn from that. And that's what makes you a better adult. Yeah. Twenties are made for mistakes. But that does not mean be like, oh, 20s are for mistakes.

I'm going to go out and make some mistakes. Oh, we're 20 years old. YOLO. YOLO was the high school thing, wasn't it? I'm glad YOLO died. Like who says YOLO these days? I mean, it even had the Lonely Island even made a song. They made a YOLO song.

Yeah. I remember that. I remember when they did that, I was like, even at that time, I was just kind of like, really? Usually they're a bit ahead of the curve and not trying to go with it. Wasn't that with Adam Levine? Yep. Yeah, that's right.

I remember that song. Oh, man. Like- Did it also have Akon in it? Akon was in I Just Had Sex. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I Just Had- That was high yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I just had sex.

That was high school, too. I remember that. And it felt so good, felt so good. That was never my favorite song by them. Yeah. That was actually on the lower end of the songs of theirs I liked the most. I think Sax Man is my favorite Lonely Island song, and none of them sing it except Jack Black.

Really? Have you heard it? It's Jack Black singing with, like, he's basically,'s basically like at a club and he's hyping up this sax man and the sax man will just be like. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, what the fuck are you doing? I think that like. It's so funny.

It's like that is Lonely Island's best song, even though none of them are in it except Jack Black. Kind of like how I think Nathan Fielder's best video is him with Scoo Dad. Oh yeah. The like little scat video he made when he was in college like 10 years ago. Scoo Wop Dop Dop Doobity Bop. The watermelon video. Thin Watermelon?

It's like 10 seconds. I don't want to spoil it. Go look up Thin Watermelon. It's a really funny video. Dude and then he did that music video where he took like a Grey's Anatomy funny video dude and then he did he did that music video where he took like uh he took a gray's anatomy music video that someone had made and then just like that was good and then filmed shots of himself and put them in the music video like him and his friend but they looked really good that was a really god he's so genius man that's why he's my favorite comedian do you

remember that time where like medical dramas or any type of drama would use how to save a life yes scrubs used that's what That's what the music video is. It's that song. Phrase How to Save a Life. Do you remember? I used to love that song. I used to get sad. I'd be like, yeah.

Oh, same. My mom used to play it. Where did I go wrong? I used to listen to the song in the context of my non-religious friends when I was a religious person. Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere along when the bitterness ends.

Guys, that's a good lesson that just because someone doesn't have some religious values or political values, you can still be friends with them. Friendship is about the human connection you have, not about your religious views. But if those religious values, for instance,

if you went back far enough to the Greeks and they started, they were like, they're like we're gonna sacrifice people to zeus yeah maybe you should stay away from that person you stay away from people like that yeah are there still people that believe in like zeus and shit there's one person on this planet that believes in the greek mythology i'm sure at least i'm sure there's actually probably there's gotta be a lot of people there's a group of people that believe the earth is flat oh but it's a group of people that believe the Earth is flat. Oh, but there's a group of people that believe anything.

There's a group of people that believe the Earth is a fucking plate. It's like a disc. And then, yeah, it's a disc, sorry. And the sun rotates in a circle over it or some shit. Do you want to know their explanation of gravity? It's that the disc is constantly moving upwards, so it's pushing us down. But that doesn't explain gravity, because that means that we're being pulled down by something below us still, right? Yeah.

That doesn't make sense. It's... Sorry, I don't want to step on any flat earthers' toes. Yeah, sorry about that. Just look it up. God. How can you believe the Earth is flat in 2017? I am sorry.

I don't want to get... Is that even getting political? No. That's just common sense. If you make flat earthing a bipartisan issue... Guys, this is an issue that... It's really a bipartisan issue. Like, I'm not a smart person, but I know what love is.

And I definitely know that the earth isn't flat. Oh, man. I may not be a smart man. But I know what love is. Then he... Doesn't he run out the door or something he's like I'm gonna run

and find the end of the earth and he runs all the way to the edge of the earth to prove his worth no Jenny was at the top of the steps no no he was at the top of the steps

and Jenny was leaving out the door no no no I can't remember the placement Jenny goes upstairs and he goes will you marry me and she goes

she's like oh yeah I don't think you know what love is for us and he goes I may marry me and she goes she's like oh yeah i don't think you know what love is for us he goes i may not be a smart man but i know what love is and then he runs out the screen door right fuck man that's a that's a i just got goosebumps thinking about that scene the hardest scene for me to stomach in that movie the first time watching was when he was meeting a little forest for the first time oh and he's like self-aware of his when you realize that he's self-aware of his stupidity like it's that man where it's like because usually he's like stupid is as stupid does like his mom is telling like you're not you know you're you're

special but you're not stupid you're you're a fine you know blah blah blah blah but then you realize it's like oh he does know that people look look at in this way, that he is not as good, but he keeps going. Dude, it's such a beautiful movie. And they actually had a sequel. There's a script and everything. 9-11, Moon Landing, all that, right? No, 9-11 was why they canceled the movie, apparently.

That's what I read, was that they had the script ready to go. He was a part of 9-11, right? He was on the plane. Jesus Christ. Like it's based on the books and like both books came out before the first movie. And I actually, I have both books. I have the second one and I kind of skimmed through it.

And he's part, like I think he's responsible for crashing the Exxon Valdez, which was like a massive oil spill, creates the new Coke formula, shovels pig shit on a farm. He fights in Operation Desert Storm with a chimp named Sue. And I think he goes to the moon. The second one's a little more outlandish than the first one. The first, I have the first treatment, like the first script that was written for it before they like revised it and stuff. Oh, really? That's awesome. There's like, there's a bunch of shit after what they show.

I can't remember what it was. I'll have to, it's still in, it's still at my dad's place, so I should bring it by so you could read something. That'd be awesome. Because it's super different. It's like. In a lot of places. It's like eight hours of him literally sitting, waiting for the bus to come back.

Just solid him sitting there waiting for the bus. Exactly. When my mom said the first time she saw that movie in theaters, my grandma, my grandma was like, you know, you know, he's going to sit there the whole day and wait for that bus. Which is where the second movie picks up. Really? Apparently, yeah. That's where the book picks up.

He's sitting waiting for his son to come back. Haley Joel Osment. They should still make the sequel and keep Tom Hanks and have the bus pulls up. Was that Haley Joel Osment as the son? Was it? Yeah, it was. No, it wasn't, was it? Yes, it was.

It was Haley Joel Osment. I'm going to look this up. I can't remember. I swear to God, it's hayley jill osmond and then look this up i can't remember it's hayley i swear to god it's hayley jill osmond okay but just imagine the the sequel starts and the bus pulls up and grown hayley jill osmond gets off hey dad he's he's such a cutie now hayley jill osmond he's a big boy it's big boy season that makes him cute right i guess so i liked his eric andre interview he doesn't say like a single word in that whole interview he's just looking around confused just being like what it's time to play force to orgasm forrest jr forrest jr yeah hayley joel osmond and then he was in the sixth sense

and then he was in secondhand lines remember that movie where you don't remember him from mixed nuts as the little boy was that a movie mixed nuts with with uh steve martin no i don't remember him from mixed nuts as the little boy was that a movie mixed nuts with with uh steve martin no i don't remember that movie you don't remember him from uh bogus bogus man i just want to get a collection of like every 90s and early 2000s movie that no one's heard of and like man this one well let's watch this one tonight and see why no one remembers it he played he was chip's voice in beauty and the beast the enchanted christ wait what no sorry imdb cut it off the enchanted christmas the enchanted christ they go through like an interdimensional portal

the enchanted christ they go meet christ and he's like dressed up as like a princess and everything matt do you want to make like an enchanted-esque movie where it goes back to like jerusalem jesus is having a fun time is it like a musical no and all of a sudden like he's in the middle of the desert and all of a sudden this portal opens up he's like what then he accidentally trips through it and he goes to new york city yeah yeah modern day new york city modern day city i love that idea and it's him just trying to like get accustomed to shit. Yeah. And the trailer has like fun music.

Yeah. It's him like trying to eat pizza and he bites like the crust first. There's this scene where it's like panning along the side of a wall. It's like people shining shoes. And then there's this one person shining his bare feet. You know what I'm saying? And like he runs into a guy and he sees Jesus in his robes. He's like, man, we got to change your look. And then like it's like they go into the dressing And he sees Jesus in his robes He's like man we gotta change your look

And then like it's like they go into the dressing room And it's like a music montage Matt he has to be transformed there On Halloween night No like on Halloween day So during the day time you have all this goofy stuff And then when he's walking around during the night time And as Jesus get up people think it's a costume

And then there's a bunch of like comedic misunderstanding And he develops these friends at a party that slowly begin to realize, this is the Christ! This is the real deal. We need to help get him back to Jerusalem so he can die for our sins! This summer! That's my favorite plot device

ever. Falling through a portal and ending up in modern day real life new york city that's happened in like more than one movie and you would think that would be like okay this can only happen i know that's happened in multiple movies wasn't there what happened in the rocky and bowinkle movie do you remember that where they were like just poorly 3D rendered like characters. Oh my god! In real life. Yeah! I love, there was that whole like thing, period,

where it was like, alright, we need to make a movie about this cartoon. I loved it, the Looney Tunes movie. The best way to do it is to bring them into real life. Steve Martin was in the Looney Tunes movie. Yeah, and then, uh, it was the villain. Space Jam. Right? Uh, the one after that. They did two real life ones? Of Looney Tunes movies? I had no idea. They had, they had Looney Tunes, uh, Space Jam, well they the looney tunes movies i had no idea they had

they had looney tunes uh space jam well they sorry they had space jam then they had looney tunes back in action oh my god um what's his name he was in the mummy brendan fraser did they do wait steve martin and a bunch of other celebrity cameos was there a real life roger rabbit movie too what was there a real life roger rabbit movie roger rabbit was a yeah what are you talking about that's that's a classic isn't it where it's like cartoon in real life yeah and then there's like it's like there's this really hot red-headed chick yeah dude cartoon chick yeah yeah roger rabbit was that a show or something beforehand yeah was it is it fits famous cartoon roger wasn't an adult cartoon i think i don't. Because it was a very adult themed movie

kind of. Dude, who framed Roger Rabbit? Am I right? You're right. Oh, they did it with Spongebob too in the Spongebob movie. That is such a weird trope. It's like, let's bring the cartoons to real life. But in Spongebob, it's like it's like a self-aware humor thing that they do.

Yeah. They did a good job with that one. Yeah. The Spongebob movie is seriously good. It's go and they did a good job with that one. Yeah. I really. SpongeBob movie is. It's good. Seriously good. Fucking good. I love it, man. I need to watch it again.

It's like a family guy real life movie. I used to always just get jazzed whenever like a Hey Arnold movie or SpongeBob movie or any movie that was on that was a show on TV came out because the shading looked beautiful. Yes. Like I was like, it looks so pretty! Like, I remember dude, I loved the Beavis and Butthead movie. It didn't look that much different from the show. Do America. Beavis and Butthead, Do America. Yeah.

It's a good fucking movie. How come they never made a Hank Hill movie? I don't, I don't know, man. We met the guy that did the, uh, the, like, the acid trip scene in the Beavis and Butthead movie. Yeah. He was in the game room's office one day. I didn't know that was him until after he left, and I was like, wait. He animated that scene? Holy shit.

That's a crazy scene, and it's terrifying. You're terrifying. I'm not terrifying, Ryan. What makes me terrifying? Is it because I look like a skeleton? No. What? I said no. Okay. Huh?

Ryan? What? You want to take this outside, and I'll kick your ass? Yeah. Ryan? What? You want to take this outside and I'll kick your ass? Yeah, let's do it. Why? I was, I don't, I don't. Okay, we're back. Matt kicked my ass, folks.

Believe it or not, I didn't think I was going to win. I actually, I got a few good ones in there. I have to finish this podcast on a stretcher. It's okay. He's lying down. He's got one of those neck braces on. Yeah. on a stretcher it's okay he's he's lying down he's got one of those neck braces on yeah i have to say though um you uh taking a butcher's knife and slitting in into my shins didn't help the fact

cutting my achilles heel i thought was a bitch move and uh uh punching me multiple times in the back of my temp in the back of my head in my temples also kind of wore me out a bit I wasn't expecting it because we were going in for a handshake and then you just kind of pulled all that out on me I was surprised you fell for the handshake because we were going to fight so when I was like

I'll see if he falls for the handshake you do that before boxing like you do the ding ding all's fair in love and war. That's all I gotta say about that one. I can't argue with you there, my friend. Uh, but I'm sorry if the medical bills are a bit high. It's okay. Uh, odds are

you pay my medical bills. Fuck, okay. Ten. Okay, one, two, three, six. Four. Fuck. Alright, you gotta pay your own. Okay, hold on. Okay. Uh, okay, odds are you asked the doctor to triple your medical bills. Fuck, I'll go three. Okay, three, two, one, two. Oh, you have to do it.

Okay, okay, okay. You got lucky, man. You got really lucky. Okay, odds are you have to leave the room and I have to finish the rest of the podcast by myself. Ten. One, two, three, seven. What? All right, you got a good 10 12 minutes

bye fucking hell um so jesus christ anyways so we're gonna to go see the Disaster Artist later today. Episode 70 was already out, so that's pretty cool. A game that I started playing, by the way, was Modern Warfare 2. I started playing some Modern Warfare 2, getting back into it. The multiplayer is super fun. I'm enjoying it. And I noticed in the comments that a lot of you were saying it was in a mario odyssey episode i was i was saying my favorite call of duty game but a lot of you took it as i can't believe ryan just said his favorite game

of all time was modern warfare 2 no that's not what i said that's not what i meant i meant my favorite call of duty game was modern warfare 2 it's like a tie between that and the first one but whatever it's fun there's still like 700 people that still play if you still play that would be cool um other than that i haven't seen any movies like worth mentioning i did watch mind hunters which was it's not it's not like a breaking bad type thing. What I mean by that is it's not great. It's not like a classic TV show, but it's also not like a later season American horror story bad. Now I've never seen an episode of American horror stories. I've like seen like bits and pieces and I've never liked any of them. Uh, but so the show i say was is like in the middle it's just a show to watch

in the in the middle time of when you are uh paying attention to a really good show like this was just a good show to watch just kind of pass the time to wait for i guess um game of thrones and better call saul i hope they make a second season i'm also kind of upset that uh the get down on netflix isn't it isn't renewed for a second season i thought i did very well and i and i have to say i really did like the get down um if you don't know what that is that's a show on netflix uh i thought it was pretty good i like the style it was like cheesy in all the right ways um there were some episodes of course where i'm like okay they're just dragging it out a little bit but overall i thought it was a fun show it's so go check it out unfortunately

there won't be a season two but whatever um i'm feeling a lot of uh just like gastro like okay if you guys can help me out i've been feeling like a lot of gas i guess in my like when i wake up i feel a little bloated and i'm and i'm still counting my calories i'm not eating a shit ton i feel i started to feel a little bloated i raise my calorie intake up 200 calories um still feel as i said a little bloated and i feel like there's a lot of gas i don't know if that's a problem if there's a gas leak in my body, if anyone knows any medical term that could tie that into. That would be a great help if any of you could act as my doctor because I certainly trust a group of 12-year-olds as well as a group of people that are my age or older that haven't

gone to medical school. So I put all of my trust in you medically, and I hope that you help me solve this problem. And I hope that it's not some horrible disease of any kind. Um, other than that, I'm trying to think if there's, uh, anything else that I wanted to bring up. Oh yeah. The infinity war trailer just came out. I'm usually not a fan of i mean i always see superhero movies like i saw justice league i saw wonder woman i saw i saw age of ultron civil war ant-man like i've seen all those movies just because i me and my dad used to watch a bunch of superhero movies and action movies so i've just kind of i like him in that way of that it's like

he's gonna see him and then i'll just like talk with him and see how he liked him type of thing. But I usually don't like the movies that much. Um, but Marvel seems to be at least entertaining. Like I can sit through it and not, no, that's a lie. There's certain Marvel movies where, uh, I've just been a little bit.