supermegashow - EP 75 - New Year, New Nothing
Episode Date: January 13, 2018We talk the best T-Ball league ever, Logan Paul's controversy, and what's ahead in 2018. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
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Ladies and gentlemen and creatures of all type, we're back.
This is the Super Megacast 2018 edition.
What? It's a new season.
I'm Ryan McGee.
I'm here with Matt Watson.
That's me.
Ha ha.
And the first podcast of the year.
We have a lot to kind of discuss and a lot to probably say.
You know, there's going to be that section in this episode where it's like,
Oh, 2018 is going to be fucking epic.
And we're going to do all this awesome shit and then do none of that shit.
Like, I want to go back to our first podcast of 2017 and like listen to what we talked about.
Like, man, 2017, like that's going to be the year.
We're going to do all this and this and this.
Live action every other week, dude.
And like listen to how much we didn't do. Yeah. But yeah, guys, welcome back. This is episode 75. Ryan and I had
a nice little hiatus. We're back now, though, officially. We're fresh. We're getting back into
it. Rejuvenated. That's a good word. And real quick, before we get into this week's podcast,
we want to give a quick thank you to our sponsor, Beachbody On Demand.
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All right, back to our podcast.
We just came back from cold, cold, cold South Carolina.
Oh my God, it was freezing.
It snowed where I was.
It actually snowed in Charleston, which it rarely, it does it like every five, six years.
But this was like the deepest snow ever.
It was five inches where I was and it was insane. It was on six years. But this was like the deepest snow ever.
It was five inches where I was.
And it was insane.
It was on the ground for like five days straight.
It was crazy.
There's a picture your friend Jackson took of you on the beach.
And I was like, oh, that looks so beautiful.
Because the jacket you were wearing was white and black.
And it looked really fucking good contrasted with the bright white of the snow.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I thought that picture was cool.
I didn't even know he was taking it. But yeah, like,
I went out on the beach. It looked like some Star Wars planet.
Yeah, I know. It looked like Antarctica. That's what I thought.
It was like... Or some Star Wars planet.
Okay, or some Star Wars planet.
But it was beautiful. Like Hoth. I haven't seen Star Wars, Ryan. I don't know if
Hoth has any beaches, though.
Hey, but guess what? Guess what I did?
In my little notebook, I have a page in my little notebook
where I wrote down movies I
need to see
Star Wars is on there all of them I put
hold on let me find it
I don't think you'll like the newest Star Wars
you haven't seen any of them you're definitely not gonna like this
one okay I've heard so many mixed things about
the new Star Wars I've heard people told you it was
fucking amazing I don't think
anyone's told me it was amazing see then don't go see it everybody I like I've heard people... Who told you it was fucking amazing? I don't think anyone's told me it was amazing. See? Then don't go see it.
Everybody, I've heard some people
say it was good and then I've heard some people
say it was just awful and
I heard it was outlandish and goofy
and I heard that it just
I heard it just wasn't
It was very meh.
Yeah. Very meh. The best way
I have been describing it to people
you know how your dad keeps repeating the same joke over and over again?
I'm like that with my opinion on a movie.
So I come up with this stupid little phrase or this way to describe how I feel,
and then I just stick to it.
I stick to my guns.
But the way I would, I guess, describe how I felt about this
is this is a part of a trilogy.
This is the second movie in the new trilogy, right?
You got The Force Awakens, you got The Last Jedi,
then you got the third one that's
coming out in 2020.
Or 2019, sorry.
The first one, fine.
It was a fun jaunt,
if you will. I had a good time
with The Force Awakens. It was just
you know, it wasn't like this big
new thing. When Star Wars first came out
in the 70s, it
kind of blew people away. And now it's just
kind of like the
usual sci-fi romp.
And so it was just
a fun sci-fi movie. Better than
most that I guess came out that year.
Not better than all of them. guess, came out that year. Not
better than all of them. But anyways,
the way I would describe it
would be being the middle part of
a movie. You have to be able
to bridge the gap between
the first and the third one, to create a good
climax, to
really bring everything
together, I guess.
I think it failed at both catching the ball
that the first movie lobbed to it
and then throwing it back.
It like tripped over itself
and landed straight on its face
and the ball bounced four steps
and is rolling
and will continue to slowly roll
until it gets to home plate.
And we'll see if we get that out or not.
Do you think the last
movie can catch that ball?
Oh the last movie is going to have to fucking
run forward a good bit then run back
to home plate to get that out.
The third movie's got a lot of work.
Was the second one directed by the same person that did
the first one? No the first one was
J.J. Abrams
and the second one is Rian Johnson
who's directed a bunch of other stuff
uh i don't know if you've seen sicario yeah he also did a he did a bunch of breaking bad episodes
and then the third one is going to be directed by jj abrams again okay so maybe maybe people
will like it more yeah do you think it was a lot was a lot of it in the directing or was a lot of it in the just the story like the directing was mostly fine
i do have to say it comes down to the writing not necessarily the dialogue was awful but if
you're given a script that is stupid there's no way you can direct around it yeah and that makes
sense but i mean he made a lot of the key decisions in that so i mean i have
to say i have to think that a good bit of it falls on his shoulders yeah i heard that they're actually
like they don't plan out the whole thing they're kind of taking each one one by one and writing
them as they go and they're not writing the entire story arc out first which can work well that's
what they did with breaking bad yeah they loved well i love breaking bad because they set themselves
up they intentionally i remember watching an interview and they said they intentionally put themselves in a corner
because it's like how is they how are they gonna get out of this situation and them as writers are
like fuck how how do we get out of this situation and it kind of mirrors real life where you're
improvising your way out of things and yeah I like that too because it's like in the show it's like
what is he gonna do yeah kind of on the exact same page the only time in breaking bad spoiler alert for
breaking bad if you haven't seen it skip ahead if you don't want to hear breaking bad spoilers
where it was like it was badass but it's a whole not a whole it's a corner they wrote themselves
into and how they got out of it i was like like, Jesus Christ, this is the most crazy shit.
It's when he made that Gatling gun in his trunk.
Oh, yeah.
I was just like, what?
Like, I saw him making it.
Like, I knew what was going to happen.
Like, when he bought that big old fucking gun.
That's a big spoiler.
And then all of a sudden, he just fucking cranks it out.
And it just, it's like a fucking drone robot.
Like, in early development.
Just goes up, has up has like mechanical shit
and everything
remote control I guess
that scene was awesome though
it was
when that happened
I was like what
and they proved that
it could actually work
yeah did they
like I think Mythbusters
built their own version of it
which by the way
apparently they're bringing
Mythbusters back
I was on a plane yesterday
oh yeah no more
Breaking Bad spoilers
we're done with it
we're talking about
Mythbusters now
no more Breaking Bad
it's Mythbusters time
Mythbusters spoilers ahead.
No, Jamie!
Sorry.
They're bringing Mythbusters back, but it's not
Jamie and Adam anymore. It's two different guys.
I was on my flight and I looked and
they had like a trailer for
the new Mythbusters.
It was like, were we crazy to bring Mythbusters
back or something like that? But then they showed two
different guys. We'll take a look at these guys.
It's going to be on the science channel or whatever it's called.
The science network.
Okay.
The science network?
The SCI?
What is that?
Oh, wait.
Is that a sci-fi?
No, it's not sci-fi.
I don't know.
I don't have cable.
Ryan and I don't have cable.
Cable's too expensive.
And stupid.
Who needs cable?
Cable's for all those bourgeoisie people.
I'd like to have cable to have like something going on all the time, like a news channel or something, but
then they have news channel live streams all the time.
Yeah, and I don't want to pay, you know, like, cable companies charge so much money for cable.
I'm trying to look up, like, Mythbusters, not Mythbusters Search, but Mythbusters New
or 2018?
Should I just look up 2018?
Sure.
2018. Look up those new Mythbusters. or 2018? Should I just look up 2018? Sure. 2018.
Look at those new Mythbusters.
Is it these losers?
Mythbusters revival gets its new host.
It's those, yeah, because I remember one was Asian
and the other one was a big guy with a beard and a funny hat.
Why didn't they get an African-American female
and then the second host can be someone who doesn't identify as anything
so it's more inclusive.
I really think they put themselves in a hole by getting a white guy that wears a fedora and then an Asian guy that has the baby thing.
I disagree with you.
I think it should have been two white guys in fedoras.
Just like us at the end of that sketch.
Which sketch did we do that in?
Oh, the Starbucks thing?
Yeah, where we're talking about like
I wasn't wearing one. You were the only one wearing a fedora.
I was wearing the fedora.
You pulled it off too. I did. You rocked it.
I was like a Sylvester Stallone.
I think you would have pulled it off better if you had hair at the time.
Yeah. In my honest opinion.
I have a lot of hair now. You have a lot of hair. That's thick, man.
I don't know what to do with it. I'm jealous, man.
I'm going to like a fancy
dinner. It's called En Naka. I don't know to i'm going to like a fancy like dinner like it's this uh it's
called ennaka and i don't know how i'm gonna dress appropriately because it's not like dress
appropriately as in dress for like a romantic dinner it's dressed appropriately as in this
place this chef works their ass off and have the respect to not show up in gym shorts and flip
flops like that's that's where i am so can I wear, is a beanie super cash?
Do I have to style my hair back and slick it back?
I think you should style your hair.
And I think you should wear something nice.
It's a nice.
I know I have this like short sleeve collared, that light blue shirt that I have.
Okay.
That works.
And then with jeans.
Jeans definitely.
I know, I think I have a pair of nice shoes, maybe.
Okay.
If not, I can just go to Target and buy a cheap pair that'll cut into the back of my heels.
Snap my Achilles heel and I'll go all the way forwards like in Hostel.
I say what you do is you just get a bunch of grease, like a lot of grease, like Crisco,
and dip your hand and get a full scoop of that.
Do you know how hard it is?
Yeah, but like...
Put it in your hair, just all the way back.
I don't think it's at the length to where it would look that good slicked back all the way.
I don't know.
You should...
No, I'm saying, like, Ryan, like, get like a cup, like a measuring cup.
Get at least two cups of grease.
Put that in your hair.
No, okay.
Grease it all the way back.
How about this?
In the morning, I'll make bacon.
I'll put it on one of those, like, bacon griddle grease catcher trays that you can put in the microwave.
Yes.
And so that's how you can make good pasta by using the grease if you're using bacon in your pasta.
No way.
I didn't know that.
Anyways, so I'll just make bacon in the morning for the boys, for you and Tucker.
That'd be fantastic.
And myself.
I'm one of the boys.
Okay.
I'm also one of the boys.
Sure. I'm in this group known as the boys. Okay. I'm also one of the boys. Sure.
I'm in this group known as the boys.
That's what we call ourselves, the boys.
Yeah, the boys.
And so we'll all enjoy our bacon, and then I'll go take that grease pan to my bathroom
and then drizzle it onto my head and then just smother it around and style my hair in
any which way I choose.
I can't imagine using bacon grease as a hair styler.
That sounds so disgusting.
You would just look so nasty.
What are you talking about, dude?
Come on. Is that what you've been using?
No, but a lot of people do it.
A lot of very famous people.
Food reviews. He doesn't use
bacon grease. Look at his
makeup video. He uses bacon grease
in his hair. I have not watched it all the way through, but I guarantee
he doesn't use bacon grease. I guarantee you Ephemeral Riff does it. He uses bacon grease in his hair. I have not watched it all the way through, but I guarantee he doesn't use bacon grease.
I guarantee you Ephemeral Riff does it.
He doesn't even have hair.
Just greases the top of his bald head.
He greases his teeth so he talks better.
So he talks smoother.
He lubricates his teeth so his lips slide off them very well.
And his tongue.
He swooshes grease around in his mouth. So everything comes out so loose.
Gargles it so his throat gets all lubricated.
Ugh, that sounds miserable.
Imagine just drinking straight up grease, like a big cup of grease and just drinking it.
How many calories would that be?
I don't know.
A lot.
Shit, that's what I got to do.
To gain some weight, I got to start just drinking straight grease.
Just start ordering KFC.
They got fried shit that has grease in it already.
Boom.
And it's meat,
so it's protein.
Then you can get your carbs
with the mashed potatoes.
That's true.
I could just watch Grease, too.
I do not like that movie.
You don't like Grease?
No, I don't.
I never liked it.
And I know it's a classic,
but I really dislike that movie.
Ryan, Summer Lovin'
happened so fast.
I never have a fun time watching it.
You could just watch the new and improved Grease
high school musical.
It pretty much is. What about Hairspray?
100%. Hairspray? Do you like Hairspray?
As a musical, not as a
movie. John Travolta was pretty goofy.
Are you talking about old Hairspray or new Hairspray?
I've seen both. I haven't seen the old Hairspray. I've only seen
John Travolta Hairspray. Dude, the old Hairspray
has like a scene where I don't it's been a while so I don't remember it that both. I haven't seen the old Hairspray. I've only seen John Travolta Hairspray. Dude, the old Hairspray has like a scene where I don't, it's been a while, so I don't remember it that well.
I just remember there's a scene where they like smash someone's kneecaps with like a baseball bat and leave them in a parking lot and they're like screaming.
Jesus Christ.
That's in the old Grease.
What?
I mean Hairspray.
Hey, Grease and Hairspray, use them both in your hair.
Yeah.
Speaking of bashing people's knees in, I saw I, Tonya, which is about Tonya Harding.
Who paid someone to bash someone's knees in.
Now, we don't know the true story here because there's a lot of things up to whatever.
Some goofy stuff in there.
She directly didn't pay anyone. apparently paid paid some dude
that his friend who was her bodyguard
hired
some of his dumb friends
I don't know the movie kind of sensationalizes a lot of stuff
but the bodyguard character
I thought they were joking around because the bodyguard character
in the movie was one of those people
that's like yeah
I work for
anti-terrorism you know anti-terrorism intelligence
and uh i work for the government and then the person's like no you don't but i do but you don't
but i do and um and so i thought that was really goofy and then at the end they show an interview
from the actual bodyguard who no joke is just yeah so i i just worked in a you know counter counterterrorism a you know agency and i've uh been working with
the government and it's like this dude was legitimately crazy angie has made it easier
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That's a N G I.com. Wait, that-N-G-I dot com.
Wait, that's not the dude that smashed the...
No, that's the dude who got people he knew to smash.
Okay, okay.
The other girl's kneecap, Nancy Kerrigan.
Yeah, that's who it was.
Good old Tanya Harding, man.
Gotta love her.
She hosted World's Dumbest Criminals.
Did she?
She did, which i thought
was ironic she's not a hey you know she didn't do anything as far as i as far as i know like
anything direct um she just got people to do it yeah y'all in the comments that's like bin laden
bin laden i'm not saying i didn't say she i don look, her alibi is, and the way the movie portrayed it, because you got to believe Hollywood movies nowadays, is that she had no idea what was going on.
And it was all kind of just this mishmash of mistakes and wrong, stupid decisions made by stupid, dumb people.
And so those in the comments who have gone over the case and have studied it their whole life, their whole life is people in the comments whose lives are dedicated to this, essentially dedicated to the Tanya Harding versus Nancy Kerrigan case.
Tell me what you think.
Do you think Tanya Harding got a bad rap and just became the person to hate because we needed someone to hate?
And it was like, that's the popular person with the face that we can hate or
did she
actually do something fucking despicable
Ryan I think you sound like a Tonya Harding apologist
I'm not look I'm letting
people in the comments help me
help suede me so it's
all let's get the debate going in the comments
folks Tonya Harding is she good or
is she not Tonya Harding good or bad
did she kill Nicole Simpson Tonya Harding are you she good or is she not? Tanya Harding, good or bad? Did she kill Nicole Simpson? Tanya
Harding, are you good or are you bad?
We'll find out in this episode of Tanya Harding,
good or bad? In the next podcast
we'll let you guys know if
we think Tanya Harding was good or bad.
We'll come to a conclusion
by then, okay?
I need more water. Can you bring me a water too?
I'd really like a water.
I'm trying to hydrate more in 2018.
That's one of my goals.
All right, well, Ryan's gone to get some hydration.
Just me now.
I guess I could just talk about politics or, you know, something fun like that.
And he's back.
Think fast, nerd.
Don't throw it.
Don't throw it.
Dude, you caught it.
Did you play baseball?
I do, man. Did you play baseball? I do, man.
Did you play baseball for nine and a half years?
No, did you?
Anywhere between seven and nine.
That's still a long time playing baseball.
You've got to be a pro by now.
No, we're talking about starting off at T-ball.
Yeah, T-ball counts, man.
I want to see T-ball world championships.
I want to see like...
Because T-ball is literally just baseball,
but instead of throwing the ball,
it's just sitting there for you to go ahead and hit, right?
It's for young kids.
It's for little boys.
I'd like to see an adult league, like, not like Special Olympics, but just like an adult league for T-ball.
But it's like all these men that are super masculine.
They try to fucking hit the shit out of the ball.
And it's like, look how hard I hit it.
Yeah, good.
Like the wives are in the stands just, or husbands.
Either one?
How about, you know, in this story, they're just all husbands.
All husbands and just grown men.
A gay T-Ball league?
Just a gay T-Ball league.
Like the World Championship Gay T-Ball League.
They got all their gay sons with them.
They got their gay dogs.
Wait, their sons are gay too?
Yeah, all their sons are gay.
And the dogs are gay?
The dogs are gay.
They have little, like, cats and cat carriers cat carriers that like one of the gay husbands brought
because he couldn't.
Why?
Because he couldn't leave them at home because he has a skin condition that acts up if he
doesn't give him his treatment every three hours.
He has to wake himself up in the middle of the night three times.
He can never get nine hours of solid sleep.
He can only get three hours incremental sleep.
Oh my God, a gay-
But he's not important in this.
This just happens to be a guy that brought his cat.
Just one guy, yeah.
His gay cat.
A gay guy brought his gay cat,
and he's watching his gay husband play t-ball
with the Gay T-Ball League.
I actually would seriously love to go to the Gay T-Ball League.
I would go to every single game if they had a Gay T-Ball League.
I would be a massive donor.
When you walk into the gay t-ball league stadium.
Like a massive stadium.
On the ticker where they have all the donors, I'd be like one of the top five.
You'd always be scrolling by.
I'd donate so much.
I'd be in one of the top five.
I'd give all my money to keep it.
Like if the gay t-ball league called me and they're like, hey, we're going under. I'd be like, no, you five. I'd give all my money to keep it. If the gay T-Ball League called me and they're like,
hey, we're going under, I'd be like, no, you're not.
Here's all my money.
And I would give all of my life savings to the gay T-Ball League.
Let me go back to something you said earlier.
You said nine solid hours of sleep.
I don't think I've ever had nine solid hours of sleep in my life.
What? No, you have.
I always wake up.
You've had more than nine hours of sleep, I bet you.
No, like just straight without waking up once? I always wake up. You've had more than nine hours of sleep, I bet you. No, like just straight without waking up once? I always wake up. At one point in your life, you have slept over
nine hours straight. Oh man, I probably have, but I just don't remember it. Man, like I got to get
my sleep, like something's up in my sleep, man. I never feel rested when I wake up. Maybe it's
because I drink too much caffeine during the day. You know what you should do that I do? I know you
keep your window down, but I've learned on work days, if I keep my window
up, the sun will help wake me up naturally as well as my alarm.
And my alarm is like a sound.
I set my alarm to be this rising sound of nature.
And so it starts out with water.
And so it slowly wakes me up in the course of like two minutes, but it does wake me up
because it eventually gets to like birds, high pitch chirping and shit. uh no it just comes with the new phone that i have oh shit
i gotta figure something out like that because i ditched apple i ditched my uh iphone you left
them i left them what made what made you make the jump uh just wanting to try something new
i just i just wanted to try something i've had i've had an ip iPhone probably definitely just all since high school.
So that was my first smartphone.
That was my first touchscreen phone.
No, I had a really bad touchscreen phone that was shit.
I was like, it's like an iPhone, but not.
Remember when like all these people started making their own and the technology.
It just really wasn't good. Apple was the one at the top.
Like you saw the iPhone and then everything
else was just shit. There were all these little clones
that just weren't as good. These little Android clones. Yeah.
But now Android's, woo! Android's
killing it. No, Android is fucking phenomenal.
I love Android. And I also switched
my cell phone
plan and shit. Because I was attached to
my parents and, you know, I'm at that
stage where I want to be more
independent. I feel you, man. I actually gotta do the same thing this month. I have to get my own phone plan, so. You know, uh... my parents and you know i'm at that stage where like i want i want to be more independent i feel
you man i actually gotta do the same thing this month i have to get my own phone plan so you know
uh nope i have no no idea about any of that yet my parents are like son you're a big boy now get
get off our phone plan really i'm saying like all right yeah gotta get off it that's sad yeah it's
a sad day when you when you can't when you gotta leave your parents' phone plans. Well, my mom was also pissed at me because I always go over our data limit, like hardcore.
That's why when I got my new phone plan, I made sure I got the best of the best, the most unlimited there is.
Yeah, I need to get a lot of data because I use it like crazy, man.
I suck that stuff down.
Dude.
Give me a little straw.
Give me a massive cauldron of data. I'll suck that shit up in 10. Give me a little straw. Give me a massive
cauldron of data.
I'll suck that shit up
in 10 minutes.
A cauldron?
Like a crock pot of data?
Yeah.
I just realized
on this,
I've said both data
and data on this podcast.
I say them both
just depending on which one.
I don't know,
just whatever in the sentence
feels more natural,
I'll say it.
I like saying data sometimes.
Data comes out
every now and then.
Data.
Data.
I think I like saying data because it's like, it's chill.
It's a chill way of saying data.
Is there a correct way to say it though?
Data.
Like, is it tomato, tomato?
Like, you can say whatever you want.
I think it is data.
Data.
I think it's data.
I want to say it's data.
Like, because, yeah.
Data sounds funny.
I like data. How about data? Data. Data. yeah. Data sounds funny. I like data, though.
How about data?
Data.
Data.
Data.
Data.
Do-de-de-da.
Ba-ba-ba-ba-da-da-da-da.
There we go.
We did it.
We made a bit out of it.
Can we, do you, okay.
Legitimate question, because we could do this, Matt.
This year, would you want to help produce a super mega licensed Ryan McGoggle's album?
Of course I would, Ryan.
A full album of nothing but Ryan McGoggle's.
Ryan, of course.
Nothing would make me happier in this whole world.
I think we could do it.
If we show people that we make a legitimate album cover and it looks really good. And we get the sound quality to sound good.
Of course, the songs are just going to be typical
Ryan McGoggle fare,
but if we get this album
to the top of the charts,
past the big ones,
past Nicki Minaj,
past Coldplay,
past all the big boys,
you know what I'm saying?
All right, real talk.
We drop this.
If we push it hard enough, do you think there'd be a point, even for five minutes, we can
have the number one iTunes chart above Justin Bieber and all that shit?
How would you feel, Ryan?
How would you feel?
Ryan McGoggle.
You go on iTunes and you see this.
We call it Stinky Poopy Diaper Edition.
God.
No.
God.
And that's the number one thing on iTunes.
Can we just call it the McGoggle's effect?
You know that.
The album.
And instead of just my-
You know how usually they just have the artist name?
Yeah.
We literally put an album by Ryan McGogles.
Like that's the artist name.
Make it potential.
Like pretentious.
Sorry.
Pretential.
Pretentious.
Make it pretentious and shit.
Man, your potential is fucked these days, Ryan.
I would love that.
I just imagine there's like some fat cat over at Capital Records
waking up with his morning coffee in his $2 million mansion.
He goes to check iTunes and he sees that is number one
and it's bumped all of the big records down.
He's like, what the fuck?
They'd have to...
We wouldn't be able to do covers
because you actually have to pay a licensing fee for covers.
You can make your own songs.
You don't mind if I make my own jams and jingles?
Of course I would.
You'll be the producer.
I'll produce the tracks.
Matt Watson is producer.
I'll produce the tracks and you sing on them.
Yeah, I'll sing on them.
And if we can get like, I would love to legitimately see if we can get like a real artist on this album.
on this album.
Yeah, whether it be Frank or Kill Bill or just
Rav or anyone we know
who won't mind ruining
their goddamn career
on being attached to one of the biggest
jokes of an album in history.
That would be incredible, man. Of someone who has zero
musical talent in their blood.
I wouldn't say that, Ryan. I think you've got
two musical talent at least.
I got two musical talents in my blood
okay hold two
well I'm excited for 2018 it's gonna be fun can we talk about
how 2018 so far already
has been like
like the first day of 2018
you know everyone's like 2018's gonna be
better like 2017 was this one
off year that was crazy I don't want to talk about him
that much I don't even want to say his
name but I do know the dumbass you're talking
about. We all know the dumbass
who I'm talking about. We all know him.
You don't need to fucking
say his name.
How about just the dumbass
on YouTube? The dumbass on YouTube. That's perfect.
And his dumbass brother. And his dumbass brother.
How about we just nickname them the dumbass brothers?
The dumbass bros, yeah. Yeah.
I'm totally fine with that. The Dumbass Bros.
They really, man, like one day in the, I was thinking like, man, I hope YouTube will be
better in 2018.
Can we shorten that though?
Dumbass Bros?
The Ass Bros.
Ass Bros.
The Ass Bros?
Ass Bros.
That sounds like some like comic you'd make when you're 14 and you're trying to be kind
of like more edgy now.
You're like, I mean, this is called the Ass Bros, but then you have a version in third
grade called the Butt Brothers.
The Butt Brothers sounds like a gay porno. I mean, this is called the ass bros, but then you have a version in third grade called the butt brothers. And this is-
The butt brothers sounds like a gay porno.
This is like the new, like when they reinvented it for a new generation, it became, it went
from butt brothers to ass bros.
This just sounds like a low budget gay porno.
The ass bros.
The ass bros.
Yeah, but-
Well, they're jerking each other off constantly. So, I mean, it- The ass bros? The ass br they're jerking each other off constantly
so I mean
the ass bros
the ass bros
keep jerking each other off
just upload a video of that
yeah so um
the eldest of
the dumb ass brothers
or sorry
the eldest of the ass bros
um
I'm using that
I'm sticking to it
that's it now
it's canon
let's say the very first
day of 2018
they went and
really showed uh
they helped YouTube
show more of their true colors too.
Yeah.
Because YouTube was like, I'm not going to do anything about this, but we're still going to make sure that we demonetize Super Mega's 30-second merch ad that's literally just music.
Yeah.
But they did that.
They disrespected an entire country real bad.
It's just – I just got mad.
And I know you and I have a bias you know
given the subject matter of the video
but
I was still
that's still unethical
it's still stupid
and like what makes me so mad is that he plays it off
like well I just you know
I was trying to do it for awareness I wasn't thinking
well stupid little
children fans will believe it.
Yeah, and they'll believe it.
Sorry, I don't mean to say that.
They're kids.
They're dumb.
They don't know they're dumb yet.
They'll realize they're dumb later,
just like how you and I realized we were dumb when we were younger.
You know?
Yeah, absolutely.
As I said, I keep saying this.
If I had Twitter when I was the age of the Aspro fans.
Oh, thank god I did not
I know I know it would be
just ripe with bullshit
ripe with cringy little bullshit and there's still
cringy bullshit out there of course
would we have been fans of the Aspros
I would not I was more
of a fan of the Shane Dawson type
you know I was Ryan
I was you know Smosh Shane Dawson
Fred get a little Fred in there.
A little sprinkling of Fred on top.
You know how jealous I was of Fred when I saw that he had
his own branded shirt made that said
Fred? I was like, what?
What money are they pumping
into this, huh?
I don't have that budget. He had his own shirt
and I just remember thinking that was insane.
And the R was backwards. How goofy was that?
It was the Fred brand Fred Bryan had his goofy
face like that like it was
unreal and I watched all that
all that guy's videos and now
what about Fred's medication he makes
terrible videos he missed his medication
he makes real bad videos Lucas
Wozniak or whatever his name is
what's his last name
do just go in your brain and find a random last name of someone else that exists?
Because I know you'll correct me.
If I'm going to say a dumb last name.
Do you think it's Steve Wasniak, the apple guy?
Yeah, but Fred's name is Lucas what?
Strange?
Crookshank or something?
I don't know.
Lucas Crookshank?
I think.
It's some weird name.
The Crookshank Redemption.
That's his new channel.
Because he's redeeming himself after Fred.
Not much he could do there.
I mean, his channel still is kind of like typical YouTube stuff.
Oh, it's real typical YouTube stuff.
But I mean, hey, if I could have made millions of dollars by making high-pitched voice videos when I was a kid.
Yeah.
I totally would have done it.
I mean, Rhett and Link, they do typical YouTube stuff.
But they do it to, it's like they got the formula down.
They got it right to where it's not
that level
of like,
ooh, okay,
YouTube over here, all nice and pretty.
They have that
talk show-y, clean vibe,
but it's...
It doesn't feel
like someone's...
Someone's fucking with you.
Someone's not trying to take anything from you.
They're like YouTube veterans.
They've been around since the beginning.
They're high quality, good guys.
I've never met them, but I just imagine they are.
You said you saw Link.
I saw Link at Shake Shack once.
And he looked depressed as shit.
Well, yeah, he just looked like he wasn't having a good day.
He could just have resting bitch face.
You hear that, Link? You hear that?
Resting bitch face. I'm just kidding.
I've always admired
you. More like resting bink face.
Bink face?
Bitch and Link together. Gotcha.
I was trying to figure out where you're going. I'm like, resting bink face.
Resting bink face? I've got resting bink face. Resting bink face?
I've got resting bink face.
Hey, y'all.
Go on to Twitter.
Hashtag resting bink face.
Put your favorite picture of Mad Link from Rhett and Link.
Please don't do that.
He's going to be like, who started this?
Everyone's going to trace back to us.
Who started?
He's going to look at his phone.
He's like, resting pink face.
What does this even mean?
What the fuck is this bullshit?
No, but those guys are awesome.
What juvenile children came up with this?
Oh, wait.
A 23-year-old man came up with this.
23-year-old man with a beard.
I have to say a beard because then it pronunciates the man part of it.
Oh, it definitely does.
It looks good, though.
You got a nice beard.
Your beard's looking good these days, Ryan. Thank you. I needates the man part of it. Oh, it definitely does. It looks good though. You got a nice beard. Your beard's looking good these days, Ryan.
Thank you. I need to take more care of it.
Over my holiday
break, I tried
to grow facial hair and I didn't
experiment. I said, you know what? I'm going to get
some Rogaine and I'm going to see if I can actually use
Rogaine and put it on
my face and see if it actually works.
So I did. I put some
Rogaine on my face and it burned terribly. Got little whiskers. Yeah, the second time I put it on, it burned even worse.. So I did. I put some Rogaine on my face and it burned terribly.
Got little whiskers. Yeah, the second time I put it on it burned
even worse. And I actually did. I started
growing some facial hair, but it looked real bad.
So I decided to scrap that idea,
shave it off. Did not like it
that much. No? I got some pictures of it
still, which I probably won't share, but
I had a little beard going.
I think you'd have to be a mustache guy.
Think a mustache? I don't'd have to be a mustache guy. Think a mustache?
I don't think you can grow a beard.
I can't.
You won't be able to for the next few years.
Give it a couple years, yeah.
But you can do a goatee, but I think a mustache would benefit you well.
What if I just did just a mustache?
That's it.
Just a mustache.
No beard or anything.
You're also going to have to bulk up if you want a mustache.
Yeah, definitely.
Otherwise, I'm going to look like a creepy little guy.
You can't be a little lanky man.
I'm trying to bulk up, man.
It's not easy.
Just start drinking straight heavy cream.
Hey, you're getting some tits.
Am I getting some tits?
I don't know.
You sent me a picture.
Every time I open up my phone, I get insane because I'm like, is that a nude of me?
Am I naked on my phone right now and people are around me watching?
But it's just you.
Wait, what do you mean?
Because I'll have this. For for instance i'll go to tucker and now let's say i want to i want to add a picture
like okay then i'll see that but all i like because you took a screenshot of it all i see
are your nipples and i'm like what oh my god can we give some some specification on that i sent
ryan a selfie where i was like i was like squeezing my little small titties together.
And I was making a face.
And he screenshot it.
So he doesn't actually have like nudes of me on his phone, just to clarify.
No.
Yeah.
I don't have any nudes of anyone on my phone.
I think I've got about 20 nudes of you on my phone.
Do you?
No, I don't.
I have no nudes of you on my phone. Do you? No, I don't. I have no nudes of you on my phone. I think I stopped collecting nudes
on my phone probably
around after high school
because I just got paranoid of the cloud.
I just can't do it.
I need to clean off my phone. My phone has like
4,000 something pictures on it.
Like almost 1,000 videos.
It's so slow. Like my phone just started
being slow out of nowhere. I still have like 20 gigs
left on my phone, but it's so slow.
Do you think it has anything to do with the Apple slowdown shit?
I wonder because when I type, sometimes I'll type and the letters won't appear for like three words in.
Then it just like quickly speeds up and catches up.
It's so bad.
Do you want to talk about it all like kind of what we're wanting to do more in 2018?
Let's not talk about it in the terms of where we have a lot coming at you.
We do have a lot coming at you,
but let's talk about this in the sense of this is what we'd like in 2018.
What we'd like for our channel.
Hell yeah.
I know.
First off,
I'm just going to start it off.
We definitely want Twitch to be a bigger thing.
Yeah.
Um,
I've been saying forever and I've never actually done it.
Yeah.
I just did a short stream last night.
Um, did you, a cupheadhead stream because I'm trying to get all
S ranks and Hildeberg's being a bitch.
Can't get that S rank.
I just get too frustrated and then it causes me to do
more mistakes. I almost got it, but I missed it
by 10 seconds. I didn't get hit once.
I used all my parries.
Sorry. Fuck, I'm gonna have to clean
that up later. That's disgusting, Ryan.
Don't let that get on the couch.
It's fine.
Hold on.
Okay.
Well, the puddle's gone now, so that's gross.
I'll just dab it with some piece of clothing.
Ryan, you're getting vomit on the couch.
Where was I?
Where was I?
You were talking about your Twitch streams.
My Twitch streams.
Well, we're both gonna be doing Twitch streams.
We're just gonna slowly be working branding into them and i guess
trying to figure out a more schedule i'd say honestly i'm streaming it'll be a consistent
thing for me but it won't be like a scheduled thing probably and for a few months i'm thinking
like a schedule by schedule i would love to do it like within the next two weeks.
Oh,
that'd be amazing.
But I'm,
but I'm thinking that I'm like within a month or two,
that's when I'd have it down.
Yeah. But we're definitely going to start streaming on Twitch more.
And super mega streams.
Yeah.
You're going to have your own Twitch channel.
I'm going to have my own.
And then together we're going to have our super mega Twitch stream channel,
which means it's going to be like super mega episodes on cut.
We're going to,
we're going to sit down and play a game
no cuts no funny edits
none of that stuff just us
the game you guys
and some sound effects
for I guess follows
and donations and all that stuff
I'm excited though
toying around with a couple ideas here and there
you know
we've said it so many times so
I'm not going to hype anything up but we are looking
more at movie review stuff
I know that's still a thing
a thousand people out there like I know
but at this point we're still talking about it
I don't believe them anymore do you think the first
movie review will get a shit ton of views
because it's so hyped or do you think it'll just be like
a no nothing like oh okay they always said
they did movie reviews look at that they did one I don't know i guess we'll have to find out
how excited would you guys be actually if we did start like a weekly or bi-weekly bi-weekly
meeting every other week not two a week movie review series how how would you guys think about
that how would you guys think about that how would you like i want to know specifically how would you
how would you think about that what's the thought no what do you guys think about that? How would you? Like, I want to know specifically how would you think about that? How would you think about that?
What's the thought process?
No, what do you guys think about it?
Is it positive, negative, super excited, super meh?
Super meh.
Super mega.
Get it?
There you go.
There you go.
Super mega.
You know what I'm saying?
Super meh.
You know what I've never thought of?
Someone said super meh gay the other day.
Like, they just put a Y at the end of super mega and it said super meh gay.
Super meh gay.
And I was like, wow, I've somehow never thought of that my entire life neither have i
i've never that like that never came to my attention how about uh but you did think of
stupid mega stupid mega yeah yeah that's an easy one okay and i have a gripe with some people oh
you know how we have snowy mega yeah they're like why didn't you call it Super Mary? Like, that sounds stupid.
Super Mary.
That makes me think of like Mother Mary as like a superhero.
Super Mary?
Super Mary?
They came out with these dumb ones.
I think Snowy Mega's good.
I like Snowy Mega.
I like it.
I like the feeling it gives me.
I also like Spooky Mega.
And no, it's never going to be Spoopy Mega.
Never.
Never.
Stop it.
Not once. That meme. You know? What if we... You know that one? Which one? mega and no it's never gonna be spoopy mega never never stop it not once
that meme you know
what if we you know that one
not once not even
once is that a new meme
I don't think it's a new meme I don't even know
it's a meme I just know it's like I think it's internet
slang in general it's like
dude not even once
let me see I'm gonna look it up
I'm gonna watch this watch this
I think 2018 is gonna bring some good memes who goes there Not even once. Let me see. I'm going to look it up. It's down on that meme, I guess. I'm going to look it up. I'm going to watch this. Watch this. Watch this.
I think 2018 is going to bring some good memes.
Who goes there?
Stella.
Ooh, okay.
We're going to take a break and order some shit.
All right, BRB.
So, I was saying, you think 2018 is going to be full of great memes like 2017 was?
We already got started with some pretty good memes.
What memes? Dude, Ugandan Knuckles? Oh, got started with some pretty good memes. What memes?
Dude, Ugandan Knuckles?
Oh yeah! Just an idea Ron and I were talking about. What if
just, maybe get some insight
from you guys too,
if we might start
doing two
Super Mega Casts a week, but making them each
like 30 minutes instead of
one long, one hour Super Mega Cast, you'd get like two 30 minute ones.
I don't know.
Let us know what you think.
Ryan's touching my hands.
Stop touching my hands.
They're all clammy.
I know.
My hands are always clammy.
My hands are always cold.
I don't know why.
Like, my hands are always ice cold.
Maybe it's the circulation.
Anybody got tips for that?
I feel like I got always dark circles under my eyes and shit.
I feel like I got bad circulation. I got eyes and shit. I feel like I have bad circulation.
I got a tip for your right here.
What is it?
Popsicles down in the cellar.
Ha ha.
Whistle voice.
Pedophile from Family Guy.
Come on.
Come on.
Hey, Chris.
I remember that guy.
I thought he was the funniest character when I was in middle school.
Everyone does because that's the voice that every middle schooler will do.
Hey, Chris.
Hey, dude. I did that voice so much.
That was like my go-to.
I'm going to make people laugh.
I'll do the pedophile from Family Guy.
But you were talking about something.
I forgot.
I wasn't.
I was dehydrated.
You said something.
Was it important?
Well, we already talked about it.
I said, do you think 2018 is going to have more memes?
Oh, yeah. And you were asking them if they's going to have more memes? Oh, yeah.
And you were asking them if they were going to have any more memes.
I was asking you, Ryan.
I already answered it, and then you said something like two minutes ago
that was after the meme thing and after I was talking about Ugandan knuckles.
I don't think so.
I simply can't remember.
Really?
You went like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then I came in and did something.
I don't remember at all.
No, I was holding your hand as you were trying to say something.
You were saying something.
Oh, I already said it.
I said, I said.
Yeah, but what was it?
The possible, you don't listen to me, do you, Ryan?
I wasn't, I was trying to hold your hand.
I wasn't paying attention to you because I was looking at your sweaty fucking hand.
It's not sweaty.
It's sweaty.
It's not sweaty.
Like flaking hand.
It's not flaky.
I put lotion on my hands these days.
True story. I've started putting lotion on my hands
and my face. Very soft, right?
No sweat there.
Just soft, silky skin.
Okay, well Ryan, that's why I'm putting lotion on.
Petting your hand like a llama
at a petting zoo.
Just petting its cheek.
Doing the two-finger pet.
The two-back-f finger pet? two back finger pet
of an animal you don't really want to touch
but you're like
I should because I'm in a petting zoo
I'll just pet its cheek
and then it goes and bites off your fingers
I was at a petting zoo once
and a goat started eating my shirt
I just like I felt the tongue
did you tell it to stop?
yeah I did
I looked down
and the goat had my shirt in its mouth
and was going
and he put holes in it
and I could never wear that shirt again
because I had holes in it now.
Stupid fucking goat wherever you are. Did you cry?
I never forgot that. Yeah I cried.
Did you really? No.
How old were you? Like 14, 15.
Oh okay. I cried yeah.
You haven't really seen anything
like movies or anything really.
No I have not.
I saw the ending of Brawl in Cell Block 99
with Vince Vaughn.
Which don't tell me because I want to see that.
I want to legitimately see the whole movie.
There's movies that in 2017 I didn't get a chance to see.
I need to see that.
I need to see...
There's this movie.
It has a long title.
I can't remember it, but it has Elijah Wood in it.
It's an independent film on Netflix.
I like Elijah Wood a lot.
He's a good little guy.
You know what? I'm going to look it up real quick because maybe some people are like, like an independent film on Netflix. I like Elijah Wood a lot. He's a good little guy. And so,
what is,
you know what,
I'm gonna look it up real quick
because maybe some people are like,
hey, maybe I'll check that out too.
Hold on.
I'm going to IMDB.
I'm going to the IMDB app, Matthew.
I was about to ask,
what does IMDB stand for?
And then I answered it really quickly
in my head.
International Movie Database.
Yeah.
Oh, I thought it was
Internet Movie Database. Oh, it might it was internet movie database. Oh, it might
be internet movie database. I don't know why I
said international. It could
be international. It's probably internet because it's the
lowercase i though. That's true.
But it's called
I don't feel at home in this world anymore.
Oh.
That sounds emo.
It's a, when a depressed woman
is burglarized,
she finds a new sense of purpose by tracking down the thieves
alongside her obnoxious neighbor,
but they soon find themselves
dangerously out of their depth
against a pack of degenerate criminals.
Uh-oh.
It's like one of those independent movies
where it has this, like...
From what I've heard in reviews,
there's this violent,
this intense violence every now and then
to where it's like, whoa, what the fuck?
Dude, that's how brawl on Cellblock 99 was.
Like, I didn't see the first half
because I was out and I got in
while my friends were watching it
and I watched like the last third of it
and it's pretty fucking graphic.
Dude, there's this, well,
the director of Cellblock blocks they did this western that
was really good well that was supposed to be really good i still have to see it so um
uh what is it called i'm about to find the name of this because the director also directed
um uh bone tomahawk
which I have to see
I've heard of that
Vince Vaughn did a really good job though
he's a brutal man
I wouldn't expect Vince Vaughn to be good in that kind of role
was it like viscerally violent?
yeah
it was all practical effects
and they made sure
you know for a fact when they were making it
they were like alright we want this shot
to be as visceral
as possible
but the thing is
you see stuff and apparently
that doesn't happen until the end
like the movie's not graphic at all and then it's
just boom in your face and I remember like
that's how Bone Tomahawk is there's a point in Bone Tomahawk
cause I've seen this scene I haven't seen all the movie
all the way through there's a scene in Bone Tomahawk because I've seen this scene. I haven't seen all the movie all the way through. There's a scene
where you're just like what the fuck?
That's how this was. Like it's
probably it's the most uncomfortable I've been. It put me
in a bad mood and then I woke up that morning still
in a bad mood because the scene
in Bone Tomahawk was so fucked up. Is that graphic?
Yeah it was. This was a really fucked up
movie. There's a lot of like there's a lot of like head
stomping up close to the camera.
You see like their face just like blow out and shit like at the camera jesus no it's really
graphic i was shocked i can't remember thinking like i don't know the last time i've seen a movie
that had this much like graphic violence in it and it shows all of it i'm telling you i want to
start doing movie nights i was thinking to myself what if i had like this facebook page called ryan's
movie nights and i I just posted.
Sounds like something a lonely uncle would make.
And I just post.
Thanks.
And I just post the movie title.
Why are you bullying me?
I'm not bullying you.
Ryan's Movie Nights just sounds like a lonely single uncle.
And I just post the movie title of like a movie I'd want to see.
And it's up to whoever wants to come and see that movie to come that night.
Ooh, that'd be awesome.
Yeah.
I'd definitely go.
Maybe not every week.
Just when I feel
like watching a movie and if I want to get a group together,
I just put like, hey, I'm gonna watch this.
If you guys have any suggestions of
movies, blah, blah, blah, leave
them. You should definitely do that. It sounds like
fun. I just like
collective movie nights. Collective movie nights are always
fun. Yelling at a screen together. Yeah, watching movies
with people. It's such a fun communal thing. And you can't
do that in a movie theater. You can't't yell at the screen no well you can but
you're gonna be an asshole don't don't be an asshole in the movie theater don't yell at the
screen i'm beginning to hate the movie theater specifically because i go there and every every
time there's some obnoxious asshole there like the guy who was flossing next to you that one time
yes that was wonderful because he just got done with his, what, fucking tray of chicken wings?
Yeah, but he pulls out floss. I remember when you
told me that, you were like,
he's flossing. And I looked over and I was like,
no way. And I look and he's just sitting there with floss,
just flossing his teeth during the middle of the movie.
Like, stereotypical flossing. Like, if an animator
were to find the perfect model
to do a stereotypical flossing
animation, it would be this guy.
This guy would be that model.
Which nobody flosses like that.
You know, like, no one puts the floss between two teeth
and just goes...
Like this long fucking clothesline of a...
Nobody flosses like that.
Unless maybe, I mean, someone listening probably flosses like that.
I mean, you do the little ones like...
Yeah, but you're supposed to like, you know,
just pop it in your teeth one by one.
But he's going...
If you're flossing like that that you're doing it the wrong way
It's like
You know the way I don't know if you do it
Do you dry your back off this way still
Or like your back area off
Like you take the towel you wrap it around and you go
Yeah I do I do
It's like that but for your teeth
Kind of yeah I think I'll wrap the towel around me
And then I'll just kind of you know do a little something like that
What?
Like I'll put the towel around me and I'll just kind of like you know do a little something like that what? Like I'll put the towel around me
I'll just kind of like go like that don't you feel like it's easier if you just go because then you can go down all
Your back. Oh ass. I never even thought of that
Oh shit, I gotta try that
Okay
Got some questions Ryan when you get out of the shower
Alright, I got I got a series of shower questions for you.
Okay.
You're trying to find out what type of person I am.
Yeah.
This is the shower personality test.
Okay.
Okay.
When you get out of the shower.
Do you step out of the shower before you dry anything off?
Or do you dry off a little and then step out?
It depends.
Most of the time, I'll dry my feet off.
But I also have a mat that I can drip onto.
So also like the other times I'll just step out fully wet and drip on the mat and just dry.
But I like drying in the shower because then I just step out and I can just focus on my shit.
And then your mat doesn't get all soaked.
Here's what I do.
Ready?
I'll pull the towel down
because I hang the towel up over the shower bar.
Same here.
I don't, like, I keep it there all ready, like, dried.
I leave the air on, and then I leave it there.
I also leave it there
because sometimes I want to dry off my hands
because I use my phone in the shower.
Every time I'm in the shower, I have my phone in my hand.
I can't remember the last time I took a shower
and my phone wasn't within
five feet of me. You do the whole time?
I'll like
play something and like put it on the top
ledge. You know how
there's the bath and it comes
out a little bit from the wall?
There's like a little ledge.
So I'll put it right there and like watch stuff as I'm doing
this. I also want to get a Bluetooth
shower speaker so I can hear things better.
I got one.
It's real nice.
You got one.
Oh,
you've had one.
Yeah.
But I'm,
I'm,
I want to get one.
It's,
it's one of those ones that suctions to the fucking wall.
Nice.
Nice.
I had it in,
um,
I have a list on Amazon of things that I want and it's,
uh,
what's the list called?
Me from me.
I just called,
that's what I called the list.
Me from me.
Well, or is it to, to me from me? Yeah. Sweet. I just called, that's what I called the list. Me from me.
Well.
Or is it to me from me?
Yeah.
That's so sweet.
So this is what I do, Ryan.
I'll put my foot up on the edge of the bath and I'll dry my feet and my legs off and then I'll step out.
But the next thing I dry, I go straight to my face and my hair.
I put the towel on my hair and I go.
One of the most important things to dry is your gooch.
Your gooch. You don't want a moist gooch.
No. I use my blow dryer
for that. You want your balls and your
gooch and your ass crack
all to be dry. You gotta have
you can't have any moisture down there.
It's gotta be nice and dry. Which that's what I do. I get out of the shower
and I'll towel myself off.
But then because I use a blow dryer anyway
I might as well get extra dry everywhere.
So then I blow dry most of my body with my blow dryer.
It feels nice.
And I make sure I hit all those all those important places with the blow dryer.
I need to get a blow dryer now.
You know why?
It's great.
Because of my fucking hair.
It's getting long.
It got long real fast.
Well, I need to.
Apparently, I definitely need a blow dryer if I'm going to continue this long hair shit.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah.
Because it will just help it.
And I've been thinking of like straight ears and a bunch of other shit.
I'm trying to, but I'm a hat boy.
So, uh, you know, you're a hat boy.
I don't, I don't style that often.
I think the only time I'll not wear a hat in the future is if my hair gets really long
and then I'll just have to put it up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't mind putting it up and then I'd have to learn how to put it in a bun and shit.
I'd like to try long hair. I just don't think it would look good on me.
I don't think it'll look that good on me.
I just want to try it
if not now
then when type of thing. Yeah, exactly.
And last time I tried to grow my hair out
talked about this several times
you and Chris came up with
funny shave your head into
a receding hairline design
sketch and so
I had a lot of hair then too
that was a lot of hair yeah
and so we shaved it
I'm glad I mean it looked great in that video
ever since then this is where it's gotten to
have I really not cut it since then
that was no you cut it
I remember you cut it since then yeah I feel like I did it got long. I remember you cut it since then. Yeah, I feel like I did.
It got long again and then you cut it.
Your hair grows fast.
Yeah.
It's a lot of hair too.
Fuck.
You got real thick.
I got really thin hair.
That's the problem.
I wish I had thin hair.
No.
Because then it would be better for growing out.
It's hard to style.
Thin hair is a lot harder to style.
No, no, no.
Thick hair?
How do I style this shit?
What would be your first fucking go-to for me?
Like, how would you style
my hair? I'll tell you how I style my hair,
which I'd probably do if I had your hair. I'm not ta-
Okay. I get some gelatin.
I get Layrite cement.
That's what I use. Okay. That's what it's called.
Put a little bit at my hands.
Put it up in my hair. Well, first I gotta blow dry my hair
to get it- to get a little volume.
And then, this is exactly what I would do with you.
Just get a bunch of it in your hands. You know, rub it until you can't see it on your hands anymore okay and then put it up
like this just run it through your hair and that gives your hair like a real thick volume to it
which then from there you can style it however you want i would go to the side for you like
if i were you this side yeah i'd go over like that style it um would you go back a little bit
yeah i'd go back a little bit back a little to the side just like that yeah just like that style it um would you go back a little bit yeah i'd go back a little bit back a little to the side just like that yeah just like that like that yeah but it's just so fucking much
well you can what i would do is i would i would like thin it out at a barber and then cut the
sides real short and then i would put it up with the with the stuff like that okay i might actually
be looking like go to a barber be like hey i'm trimming the sides i'm also growing out my hair
so i'm just coming for not
I don't even want to say a trim but a thinning
the thinning to
YouTube Red starring one of
the ass bros
that's one of them ass bro
number one we're in that movie coming out so
look for us just kidding please don't pay
your money to watch that still haven't gotten a call
from Tyler Perry about still waiting on a call from Tyler
Perry Daboo Halloween 3 waiting for Perry. Madea Boo Halloween 3.
Waiting for it. Boo Madea Halloween 3.
Madea Boo. Madea Boo?
I'm a Madea Boo baby.
I love everything about Japan.
Madea Boo. I think Ryan how you should cut
your hair is you should cut it where it's like you cut the side
you buzz the sides completely
and you just leave like the top
just sitting on there but it goes into a mullet.
You know what I'm talking about?
Yep.
One of those.
Yeah.
You got to get one of those.
Like the bully from It.
Yeah, exactly.
Do that hairstyle.
That would work on you so well.
Dude, the bully from It called one of the ass bros a douchebag on Twitter.
Did he really?
Yeah.
Man.
That just goes to show what happens when you're an ass bro.
Because that guy in the movie, he was a real ass.
Yeah.
So if he's calling.
If he's calling ass bro, the eldest ass bro, number one.
The ass bro elder.
The ass bro elder.
Don't worry, he cried a little.
No, he didn't.
Yeah, that video, his apology video was so, he's like sitting there like, you know, perfectly chiseled with like,
it looks like he literally took a teardropper and just put like a few tears in his eyes and he made sure not to
like really move a lot in the video so they wouldn't like go away and he's like i've made a
serious lapse in judgment i was telling it because i watched it with a group of people we were all
laughing at him it's funny it's so because he's such a joke of a human being and I don't respect him as a person but anyways
we were watching him and I was like
and I was like he looks
as if he's
on this device
let me turn this mic around
let me turn the mic around
it's pointed
down now
it's broken
it's falling down oh shit something fell off. Oh well. Can you just describe them? Yeah, okay?
Ryan has a stool hole in the middle of the stool, okay, and he's
He's just kind of like hurt
He's just hurt like really like this. That's what it looks like and then slow then but at the same time
slowly there is probably this big of an earthworm,
like the biggest earthworm you've ever seen, slowly sliding into his ass.
Can you take a picture of me right now?
Yes.
Put it in the podcast.
Just picture Elder Aspro doing this, his apology.
All right, I took a picture
but with a hole in the stool
and an earthworm
slowly making its way
who came up with that
how did you come up with that specific
imagery
I mean it works it's perfect
I'd like to put a video of like
Elder Aspro's apology
like next to Dr. Disrespect's apology
just have them playing at the same time on loop
dude that's an
that's an art
that is an art
I want to rent out like a little art gallery
and then on the wall just have like a bunch of YouTubers
they're all crying
Matthew Santoro, Logan Paul
what's his face
Dr. Disrespect like all of them just on a big wall
and it has to be them crying in the
apology or something and it's all like just echoing
echoing through an art gallery yeah and then
there's another room where it's all the YouTubers
that are coming out of the closet that are crying
and then in another room it's
YouTubers that whose pets have just died
that are also crying
YouTubers like to make a lot of videos
of like personal very personal shit yeah they really like to make a lot of videos of like personal, very personal shit.
Yeah, they really like to just spill it all out there.
Really like, hey.
Okay, can I just ask you one thing real quick though?
Lay it on me, brother.
With the Aspro scenario, Elder Aspro,
what would be the difference between what he did
in that Japanese forest and if he was in his house with his
bros and he walked in and his best friend was hanging from a closet door like what what would
be like and he was vlogging it would he just be like whoa dude whoa like what's the difference
between that is there a difference uh ethically would it be the same fucking thing still be
filming someone that killed themselves but then it's like oh i called the cops like dude you know
america man there's a lot of suicides that happen in america you just got to come to expect it just
like he's talking about suicide for us you just got to come to expect it like what would be the
difference if you could find one what's the ethical difference in those two situations what
would is it just one's a friend
yeah i guess so you're still filming someone that killed themselves yeah and putting it on the
internet for views and and and people are like oh he's just trying to raise awareness he wasn't
trying to disrespect it's like yeah that's why he put him in the thumbnail and everything yeah
i said this uh a few podcasts back all the ass bros are, are those disrespectful asshole,
good for nothing douchebags in high school that happened to get famous.
Oh,
totally.
Yeah,
that's all it is.
And,
and little kids like it because they want to be the popular kid.
All kids want to be the popular kid,
the crazy one.
And,
you know,
a lot of them don't have that.
And now,
luckily,
thanks to the ass bros,
they're going to go out and try to find a
dead hanging corpse to be like savage dab dab dab at least he didn't dab on the dead guy they're
gonna push the body have it swinging to the to the rhythm of the music video they're shooting
and then they're gonna be dabbing with it that's the future that's the future that's the future
man the problem is like all these kids watch them and then they want to go do videos like that and
it just breeds a new generation of assholes.
Well, like for us, I feel like an old man when I'm when I see what they're talking about.
It's like, what's the big deal?
Just a dead body.
Come on.
Like in my head, I'm like, yeah, but there's a precedent.
There's amount of respect.
There's there's some especially in Japan.
Yeah.
You know, there's there's there's a lot of things that go into it other than just boiling it down to it's a dead body.
Because you can take down any argument like that,
where if you're getting mad and just pissing someone off and going,
dude,
it's just a game.
It's like,
yeah,
I get it.
You're linking a game to finding you're linking to being mad at a game to
finding a dead guy who committed suicide in a Japanese forest.
Ryan,
I don't think that's a clear cut comparison.
And I say to you,
it's not.
And I made a mistake and i'm going in a circle
and all i'm saying is he shouldn't have done it i looked over and you said this look on your face
like yep yep yep but yeah oh we got it we got a ming update we got a ming update lay it on him
ryan let's hear it she's doing well for herself she is if there's a uh if i had to picture it you know how
middle class there's like upper upper middle class lower middle class to be rich there's super
butt-fucking wealthy and then there's rich yeah she is high-end poverty now, I'd say, because she made herself this little like house tent thing.
I saw it. It's nice.
Where she covered it up.
I don't know how she did it.
She she she works some magic.
And so she has a roof over her head now, a self-made roof.
And she has a bunch of suitcases and stuff organized.
And the other and the other day she came over to me,
she was wearing a dress and a denim,
like a denim short jacket.
Like she looked,
like if I didn't know she was Ming,
I wouldn't have known she was homeless.
I wouldn't have known she was without home.
She looked really nice.
And she was like,
hey, how you doing?
I'm like, good.
He's like, okay.
Can I have a cigarette?
I'm like, sorry, don't have any. goes oh okay thanks man then walked walked off to her little little little
bungalow i'm so happy i can just call that a bungalow little bungalow yeah because we we ended
we ended our uh 2017 podcast talking about how she's doing well back in 2018 she's still doing
well baby weeks later yeah but but i do have to say um if you don't mind matt just seeing
how well she's doing personally i think it's time to put her story to a close to let her go on her
merry way and for us to move on from from ming because she's moved on from us and she ming has
moved on from ming she has hasn't she she has moved on from her old ways she's a new person
and she might fuck up in the future
but that's not something we're gonna update you on
because that's her life now
she's doing better and I'm so happy for her
you know I talk to her
probably every other day
probably wow yeah I'll see her
and she'll be like hey what's up
so and of course sometimes she'll be a little Mingy.
She'll be a little Mingy.
But she seems to overall be doing better.
And I have to say, start off 2018, I think that we can put Ming.
We can close that book.
We should close, definitely close that book.
I'm happy for her and I'm ready for her to spread her wings and fly.
Love you, Ming.
So love you, Ming.
Goodbye.
Who knows if we'll talk about you again
And if we do talk about you Ming
It won't be in
In a tabloidy
What is Ming up to next
It'll just be
I saw Ming today
I saw her man
So we're closing the chapter on our Ming updates
Shutting that book
Couldn't have said any better myself Ryan
I think that's a pretty good
place to end this podcast. What do you
say? Yeah, let's drop it like it's hot.
That means quick, so we need
to end it quick. Right now, right now.