supermegashow - EP 76 - Creepy Childhood Mascots

Episode Date: January 31, 2018

We talk Ronald McDonald, the Latin language, and Chuck E. Cheese's. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
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Starting point is 00:00:23 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Welcome to Super MegaCast, everybody. It's your boy, Matt Watson. Yep, it's Matt Watson. Well, I was... I was like waiting for you to introduce yourself. I was just silent. It's just me.
Starting point is 00:00:52 I'm like, well, I guess it's just me. And your boy, Ryan. Your boy, Ryan, has a quiz for Matt to take. Oh, sure. So let's just start off the podcast with a nice warm-up. Okay, ready? Okay, sure. I'm ready for it, man. Okay, what color do you choose?
Starting point is 00:01:07 I'm showing him a range of colors Okay I'm going to choose the third one Which is green What's this quiz? What word describes you? Cocky, polite, optimistic, carefree Enthusiastic or sassy I'm going to say optimistic
Starting point is 00:01:24 Okay optimistic Okay you know now it's just a picture of cars Free, enthusiastic, or sassy? I'm going to say optimistic. Okay, optimistic. Okay, you know, now it's just a picture of cars. What a bunch of cars do you like? Just choose your favorite car. Favorite car out of these. Oh, man, that's a lot of cars. I'm going to have to pick the, uh, shit, man. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:01:38 I don't really like any of those cars too much. If you were to own one and had to. Well, see, I like it, but it's too flashy. And then that one's cool, but it wouldn't be useful. Okay. Okay, I'll do the VW camper van. Okay, VW camper van. Alright, sounds good to me. Okay, now tell me which quote
Starting point is 00:01:56 more in lies with how you are, okay? Alright, alright. You gotta be clean because even here in hillbilly hell, we have standards. Then there's I'm the world's best backwards driver. Respect the classics, man. And then I have gas, lots of gas.
Starting point is 00:02:18 And the last one, float like a Cadillac, sting like a Beamer. Man, I don't remember any of those quotes. Okay. I'll do the first one because it was just outlandish. Okay. Now, you're going to have to choose which film would you much rather see?
Starting point is 00:02:37 Are these all driving films? Fast and Furious, Herbie Fully Loaded, Need for Speed, Drive, Duel, or Rush. I'm going to do Herbie Fully Loaded because that movie was awful. Herbie Fully Loaded, Need for Speed, Drive, Duel, or Rush. I'm going to do Herbie Fully Loaded because that movie was awful. Herbie. Herbie Fully Loaded. Was that Lindsay Lohan's last movie before she kind of went off off the deep end? I think so, before she went crazy.
Starting point is 00:02:53 Probably because the movie was so bad. Okay. You got Fillmore. That's your Disney's car character, and that's who Fillmore is. That's the quiz I was taking? Yeah. Who's my Disney car character? Who's your Disney's Pixar's car character?
Starting point is 00:03:05 Okay. Which car's character are you? Well, guys, I'm Fillmore. I'm a Volkswagen van, like the hippie one. Cool. Man, I'm excited now. Now we know. That was a good warm-up, and now we're getting back into the podcast.
Starting point is 00:03:19 I mean, we were technically in the podcast for that, but now we're in the podcast. We're in it deeper now. Yeah, we're much deeper into the podcast. A couple feet deeper into the podcast. Yeah. But before we get even deeper, why don't we take a minute to say a quick shout out. An ad, an ad. Yeah, it's an ad.
Starting point is 00:03:33 It's an ad. Guys, you want to look good in your underwear and be comfortable, right? But that perfect balance is hard to find. You don't want to sacrifice style over comfort and vice versa. So check out MeUndies.com and you can find the best pair of underwear in the world. Can I tell you why MeUndies is so epic? Do it, Ryan. Okay, first off,
Starting point is 00:03:48 they're the most comfortable pair of underwear you will ever own and I've ever owned myself. It's made from, like, good fibers and stuff. You know, three times stronger than cotton. What? Yeah. Ladies will love the soft, eco-friendly fabric.
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Starting point is 00:04:19 I gotta say, right now, MeUndies has an exclusive offer. Just for our listeners, you can get 20% off your first pair and pair and free shipping and me undies is so sure you'll love their underwear we'll even offer 100 satisfaction guarantee like what ryan said and that's a no-brainer 20 off your free pair free shipping 100 satisfaction guarantee what are you waiting for to get 20 off free shipping and their 100 satisfaction guarantee and get the best and softest underwear you will ever own, go to MeUndies.com slash SuperMega. That's MeUndies.com slash SuperMega. It's a limited time offer, so what are you waiting for?
Starting point is 00:04:55 Come on, stop just waiting around. Just do it, please. Start wearing the best underwear of your life, please. Come on, for me, for your old pal Matt. It changed my life. It's time to let MeUndies change yours. Go to MeUndies.com slash SuperMega right now. Thanks. These aren't your daddy's whitey tighties.
Starting point is 00:05:06 That should be their slogan. That's a great slogan. I know. I just came. They should use it. It's not your daddy's underwear. That's creepy as hell. It's not your daddy's underwear. If we ever start an underwear company, it's gonna just be called not your daddy's underwear. Not your... Okay. That's fine. I'm so down. MeUndies, come on. Let's team up. You and I
Starting point is 00:05:21 could design some of the most comfortable underwear, I think. I think so, too. I want a pair of underwear that's literally just like a sock for your penis. Just slip it right on and that's it. I guess you could just wear a sock on your penis, never mind. But if you put a sock on your penis, you get like, you know, if there's like too much that hangs off. Then you could cut it and then sew the seam.
Starting point is 00:05:41 Or you could leave it open for fun. That's true, that's true. A little air, too. Get some air in there. We're no longer in the ad, right? We can talk like this. Yeah, this is, we're talking, like, MeUndies is no longer sponsoring us to be saying this vulgar stuff about.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Yeah, yeah. Unless they want to be, in which. Go to MeUndies.com slash super mega. And they can take us up on this offer to create a new pair of underwear that simply just covers your penis. Anyway, I'd like to tell a story, Ryan. It's a really small story that's like three seconds long. Earlier today, I was walking up-
Starting point is 00:06:08 Does that mean it's about your penis? Ryan, I've had it. I've had it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm trying to tell my story here. Okay, tell your story. I was just trying to goof and gaffe you for 2018.
Starting point is 00:06:18 It's only the second podcast in the year. Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Our gaffes have to be top quality. All right, I blew a lid. You blew a fuse. Yeah, I did. It wasn't cool.
Starting point is 00:06:27 I'm sorry. It's like you're a mansion and all the lights went out. No backup generators, nothing. You ain't seen all the lights go out yet, Ryan. Oh, I'd love to back up and... Never mind. I was walking down the sidewalk with a car salesman earlier today. I was not whistling.
Starting point is 00:06:42 Did you have your little hat on? No, we were walking in silence. This makes this story so much more just uninteresting now. I haven't gotten to the interesting part. If it doesn't start with you walking down the sidewalk whistling with a little hat on. Okay, from now on, every single one
Starting point is 00:06:56 of my stories I tell on the podcast will start with me wearing a little hat. Wait, little hat as in like, hey, aren't a little like that size? It's just small. No, not like a baseball cap, like a little, like, hey, aren't a little like that size? It's just small. No, not like a baseball cap, like a little, like a miniature fedora type of thing. Like a little hat. I don't know how to explain it.
Starting point is 00:07:12 Like a hat you'd put on like a dog? Yes, exactly. But for you, what type of hat is it? Um, hold on. Like a baseball cap or a fedora? I'm going to look up hats on Google and choose which hat. You're going to get back to your story. How about like a bowler cap?
Starting point is 00:07:25 One of these. That's just a woman's. What is that called? Is that just a sun hat? Straw boater hat. Straw boater hat. Okay. Anyway, I was walking down the sidewalk with a car.
Starting point is 00:07:38 No, no, no, no. This hat. Yes, I don't know what that's called. It looks like that's what like nice, rich, old white men wear. Yeah, like a barbershop quartet would wear that hat. Okay, anyways. Okay, back to my story. I was walking on the sidewalk whistling wearing a small hat. And I was with a car salesman because I was checking out the possibility of leasing a car, which I'm not going to do anymore.
Starting point is 00:08:01 But I was like, hey, I'll check it out. I was walking down the sidewalk and a young man walked by with a shopping cart and he was screaming loudly, very enthusiastically. So obviously the shopping cart wasn't taken like legally. Yeah, he clearly stole it. It was filled with his belongings. And he was screaming in a high-pitched voice. Like high-pitched like. No, not.
Starting point is 00:08:24 He was like. Like high-pitched, like... No, not... He was like... Like that. Exactly like that, SpongeBob. And he was screaming, and he was screaming, boy, it feels good to be gay. Boy, it feels good to be gay. Yeah, he was just doing that. Nope, not that.
Starting point is 00:08:39 And he started screaming, he started laughing and screaming sexual harassment as he walked by me. So, that's my story. Sexual and screaming sexual harassment as he walked by me. So that's my story. Sexual harassment. Sexual harassment. Ryan, you make a great cartoon character. Nice little hat. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:08:51 Thank you so much. My friend Ryan picked it out for me. I like the way you're whistling, son. Thank you. I've been practicing. Want to get in my cart? Yeah. Want to get in my cart?
Starting point is 00:08:59 I would love to get in a homeless guy's cart. I'm gay. That's what was happening. That's what it was. See? You're a very enthusiastic cartoon character. Thank'm gay! That's what was happening. That's what it was. See? You're a very enthusiastic cartoon character. Thank you. I should be a voice actor. No, you should just be
Starting point is 00:09:10 a cartoon character. I should be a voice actor. You should live your life and identify as a cartoon character. You can't identify as a cartoon character. Yes, you can. Technically, you can, but then it's just nonsense. I'm a cartoon character now. I identify as Spongebob. I just want to be like that guy pushing that card today. He was so enthusiastic about life.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Yeah. And boy, did it feel good to be gay. What are you saying? Boy, it feels good to be gay. He didn't have a southern accent like, Boy, it feels good to be gay. Kind of like, yeah, exactly like that. Just yelling, boy, it feels good to be gay.
Starting point is 00:09:38 And I'm happy for him. I'm glad that it felt good to be gay. It probably felt wonderful. I look at the look on his face. It felt great. He was really enjoying it. Like being gay was his way. Actually, I was about to say
Starting point is 00:09:50 it's his way of hiding from his problems. But that's everyone. Everyone hides from their problems. By being gay. Yeah, absolutely. That's the common escape mechanism. Those senators aren't actually gay. I remember when that happened. I remember hearing that on the radio
Starting point is 00:10:05 over and over. Wait, which one? Because there's so many. You're talking about the dude that blew someone in his own office? Are you talking about the dude that got caught with a 17-year-old and he was wearing a Bible quotes verse that says, make me a sandwich? Wait, the Bible? No, no, no. He had Ephesians
Starting point is 00:10:21 blank, blank, blank on his shirt, but there was also a picture of a sandwich. And it's about women being all submissive to the husband. Okay. It's essentially like, make me a sandwich. For a second, I thought you meant there was a Bible verse that was literally about making, like, make me a sandwich. Would it surprise you? Not too much, to be honest.
Starting point is 00:10:40 Yeah. Not too much. But anyway, I was like, shit, I totally forgot what I was saying. Fuck, Ryan, help me. What was I saying? You were making love to your dad. I was not making love to, shit, I totally forgot what I was saying. Fuck, Ryan, help me. What was I saying? You were making love to your dad. I was not making love to my dad. That is not what I was saying.
Starting point is 00:10:50 Are you sure? I could have sworn you said something. What if I was that gullible? I was like, oh, yeah. So I was making love to my, wait a second. Yeah, just like, hold on. I wasn't making love to my dad. Or was I? Damn it, Ryan, you're getting inside my brain.
Starting point is 00:11:02 No, so you call your dad. Hey, dad, did you and I ever make love? No. Okay. Ryan, you got me this time. Next time you won't be so coy. But I, uh, shit, dude, what was I? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:16 The senator. You were walking down the sidewalk, whistled with a little hat on. And I was talking about gay senators. Yes. Yes. Remember a long time ago, that one senator and he was in the airport bathroom and he was like... He did his little foot tap thing? He was doing his little like... Was that like a legitimate
Starting point is 00:11:30 code? Is that a legitimate code for I want a blowjob? Apparently there's like a code that some guys use in public bathrooms for sex with other random men. And he did that. And then he got arrested because the guy like reported him. And then he had to go to a press conference where he's like, I am not gay. I never have been gay.
Starting point is 00:11:45 And I just remember when I was a kid, I heard that exact quote on the radio all the time. And it was really funny. I'm just trying to think of how... How do you arrest someone? He could have just been tapping his foot. Unless it was like, give me a blowjob. He tapped out, give me a blowjob in Morse code.
Starting point is 00:12:00 He typed out, boy, I'm gay and would love a blowjob from another man in Morse code with his foot I don't understand how you're arrested after that are you telling the truth Matt? there must have been more to it he got arrested by like
Starting point is 00:12:12 airport security I think damn detained by airport security detained right they don't have the power or authority to arrest him but
Starting point is 00:12:19 like what if I'm just you know in a public bathroom and I'm singing a song in my head you know I'm wearing my little hat I'm whistling you're tapping your foot I'm tapping my foot singing a song in my head. You know, I'm wearing my little hat. I'm whistling. You're tapping your foot. I'm tapping my foot to the beat in my head. To the jingle of the jam. But apparently
Starting point is 00:12:29 like what if what I'm tapping, I don't realize it, but it's a signal for gay sex. What then? And then you have to have gay sex. Yeah, that's the code. You're stuck. That is. It's like, it's pretty much, that foot tap is like a legal binding contract that I now have to have gay sex. It's not even verbal.
Starting point is 00:12:46 It's an audible contract. Yes. You know? Well, you and I have been playing PUBG lately. Yeah, we have. Not going to spoil anything, but it's coming on the channel at some point. Very soon. As in, like, within the next week, we got some episodes going up.
Starting point is 00:12:59 Get ready for that first episode. It is a roller coaster. It is. Let me tell you. It was fun. So it took us forever to set up our recording setup though because like we had to figure out all this technical stuff to make it so like we
Starting point is 00:13:11 could talk to each other but our Discord audio wouldn't get picked up by the recording. Just learning. It's like learning simple stuff for the first time usually takes a little bit of trial and error. It does. And then once you get it, it's like second nature. Yeah. We got it all set up now so we're going to be recording a lot. I hope you guys
Starting point is 00:13:27 like these episodes. These are a lot more free form. I'm just having a great time. But they're really fun. They're fun to record so I hope you guys like them. Also, I'm sure you might have noticed this podcast. You're wearing Reeboks. I am wearing Reeboks. That is true. I actually have to go take these back because they're half
Starting point is 00:13:43 a size too small and they're really crushing my toes right now. Were you about to say how they're noticing that the podcast is on a Friday instead of a Thursday? Yes, that's exactly what I was going to say. Okay. But yeah, the podcast is now on Fridays. We did that out of convenience and scheduling for ourselves. And I remember a while back we did read some comments.
Starting point is 00:13:58 People were like, yeah, Friday's okay because we toyed with the idea before. Yeah. But I think we're also going to keep it to one long podcast a week. Remember, whenever we say something, we're never ever going to do it. We do read the comments when we ask serious questions that will change format like that. But also keep in mind, while your opinions do matter, at the end of the day, we're going to do what we think is best for ourselves and the channel. Yeah, exactly. So fuck you and your opinions.
Starting point is 00:14:22 But also thank you for them. Yeah, thank you. Absolutely. Really value those. But yeah, Ryan, what's you and your opinions. But also thank you for them. Yeah, thank you. Absolutely. Really value those. But yeah, Ryan, what's new in your life, buddy? I don't know. I haven't seen any movies lately. I need to go see a movie. We just saw one. Yeah, but we already talked about it, I thought. Shit, we did, didn't we?
Starting point is 00:14:36 Well? Talked about The Post. Yep, that's true. I love the ending. With Hom Tanks and Meryl Streep. It's true. I love the ending. With Hom Tanks and Meryl Streep.
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Starting point is 00:15:48 Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. The ending was such a, it was just, I keep laughing about it because the ending could have just stopped when the security guard was opening the door. It's like, oh, they're at the Watergate.
Starting point is 00:16:08 Or no, no, when the camera was panning out and you see the other people with the flashlights and the windows. But then as it's doing that, it goes, hey, I'm at the Watergate. Something is going on here. It's like, no shit. Everybody in the theater knows that this is Watergate unless you're 16 years old. Well maybe some 16 year olds watching. They didn't know what Watergate is. They had to have it spelled out for them. They should have put text on the screen that was like
Starting point is 00:16:32 this is Watergate happening right now. Like the little thing in the corner of the screen that goes Watergate. Watergate Hotel. The DNC. I um. You know what would be a great super cut of a movie? What? You know like that part when it's pulling out and it shows the guys with the flashlights.
Starting point is 00:16:48 Then cut to the part in Forrest Gump where Forrest Gump is on the phone and he's lost away from Watergate. And it's Tom Hanks too. That would be the most confusing thing. You're like, did his character just change? And then just watch the rest of Forrest Gump from that point onward.
Starting point is 00:17:00 Can someone send us at SuperMega on Twitter, edit together a clip of Tom Cruise sorry, not Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks talking to himself on the phone from two different movies. Just do it. Yeah, make it see how realistic you can portray this conversation. Can you cut it together where it
Starting point is 00:17:20 makes sense? I'm intrigued. I'd like to see that, Ryan. That's a very unique and witty idea and I'd like to see what you guys can do with it. And then when you're done, do the Tom Cruise running challenge. Can you run like Tom Cruise? Find out and win $300,000 at the drop of a hat. That's not a
Starting point is 00:17:35 that's not a... Sponsored by 7-Eleven. Ryan, you're really... Can you run like Tom Cruise? For legal disclaimers, 7-Eleven is not going to give $300,000 on behalf of Super Mega. We're not associated with 7-Eleven is not going to give $300,000 we're not associated with 7-Eleven except for loving their content and Matt's socks
Starting point is 00:17:51 loving 7-Eleven's content they make good content they're my favorite content creators they make those good slurpees 7-Eleven's great I'm wearing 7-Eleven socks right now I love 7-Eleven yeah but I haven't gone to the good 7-Eleven like'm wearing 7-Eleven socks right now. I love 7-Eleven. Yeah, but I haven't gone
Starting point is 00:18:06 to the good 7-Eleven, like the best 7-Eleven. The Asian 7-Eleven. Yep. They're good. I mean, the ones in America are still really, really good. It's not one of those things where it's like they suck. I try, I try, I try to give this guy the benefit of the doubt at our 7-Eleven. It's this old, like
Starting point is 00:18:22 30, 40 year old Indian man. Yeah. That guy. It's this old like 30, 40 year old Indian man. Yeah, that guy. He's been working there for probably a year by now. I'd say so, yeah. He still has no grasp on anything he's doing. Every time I
Starting point is 00:18:37 go in there, it's just this big, confusing cluster fuck. There's a line of people and like... There is, I've noticed. Every time I go in there, there's like ten people in line. He's always like, um, uh... I feel bad for him. I feel bad for the guy. He's obviously very confused. I do too,
Starting point is 00:18:54 but there comes a point where you've been working somewhere for four years. Sorry, for at least a year. You should know the basics of running a till. Why don't you teach him? I could. I could learn his job and do it better in a week.
Starting point is 00:19:10 Like, sir, can I help you out? And then just like ring yourself up and then leave. He seems super, like he's super competent with everything else. But when it comes to that register, nothing. That's his nemesis, man. I've seen him purposely like, I. That's his greatest foe. I've seen him purposely like, I got to go put the drinks up or whatever he does. He doesn't really talk much.
Starting point is 00:19:31 So that's just his general vibe is he takes a big thing of drinks, motions over to the cooler. And the other co-worker is like, okay, I got the front. But then when he's left alone there, he's fucked. Yeah, poor little guy, man. We should go in. You know what we should do? Maybe it's just too stressed because, like, the stress of this job never ends. We got to go and we got to pamper him, you know, do his nails, give him a little Yeah, poor little guy, man. We should go and, you know what we should do? Maybe it's just too stressed, because, like, the stress of this job never ends. We gotta go and we gotta pamper him, you know?
Starting point is 00:19:47 Do his nails, give him a little mani-pedi, give him a foot massage, rub his shoulders, style his hair for him. Just make him feel good about himself. And I'm never mean to him. Other people are. I'm aggravated with him mentally. I'm very furious, like, I'm infuriated by him sometimes. But
Starting point is 00:20:03 at the end of the day, I have to believe he's trying his absolute hardest. I think he is. I think he is. I think he's just having a bit of a struggle. I think maybe he's just nervous, man. He's not used to these computers, you know? He's used to having, like, little... Ching-ching!
Starting point is 00:20:21 Those types of registers. I knew exactly what you meant by those sounds. Yeah. Those are good sounds by the way Old registers, thank you Dude, I love old registers I just want to buy one and have it in my room Just to play with Really?
Starting point is 00:20:32 It sounds like fun, man I want a typewriter Man, when I was home for Christmas My friend had a typewriter And I played on it a bunch I typed some stuff And then I found a typewriter in my grandma's closet. And it was really nice.
Starting point is 00:20:46 And I'm thinking about getting a typewriter now because they're fun. Did you go... And all the dust went... No, it wasn't. It was in pretty good condition. It had no dust on it. But I'm thinking about getting a little tiny one. I can just sit at my desk and do my work.
Starting point is 00:21:00 Sit at your desk drinking your black coffee with your glasses and 7-Eleven socks. Ryan, is this an attack on my character? No, it's not an attack on your character, yes. What? Huh? Well, you forgot one crucial thing about that, Ryan. I'm going to be sitting at my desk drinking my black coffee with my glasses and my 7-Eleven socks and my typewriter with my little hat and I'm going to be whistling. Oh, yeah, I forgot.
Starting point is 00:21:20 There you go. There you go. That's a good image. That is a pretty good image. That actually sounds like a great afternoon for me. Yeah. I would love to do that. That sounds so relaxing and nice.
Starting point is 00:21:31 You're going to hate me for this, but I just had this thought. I don't know why. You know how you always have those dark thoughts of like, huh? And then quickly they're like, what the fuck was that? I had a thought of, you know, when we eventually separate from each other you have a place i have a place could i burn your place down without you knowing it was me and being caught i think i could easily of course like i could just go over to your place while you're sleeping and just light it on fire and run away and no one would ever know except you you should invest in
Starting point is 00:22:04 cameras around your house why why you should invest in cameras around your house why why you because someone could fucking set your house on fire you gotta look on your face right now that's like all i'm saying is when i get my own place i'm putting like a security lock on the door i'm putting a camera on the back and front porches i'm why don't i just you know what i don't need any of that i'm just to get flame retardant stuff and spray it all over the outside of my house every day. Whoa, whoa. That's the word, Ryan. Flame retardant.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Calm down, dude. That word always made me, I was like, it's just funny. You know what's stupid? Inflammable means flammable. Yeah, right? Like, why? Why is that a thing? Because it's funny.
Starting point is 00:22:41 Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? Inflammable means like, it sounds like it should like, oh, yeah, you're not going to be able to get cell phone. Well, the stem of in is not. Yeah it's funny. Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? Inflammable means like, it sounds like it should like, oh yeah, you're not going to be able to get sound fire. Well, the stem of in is not. Isn't it like not or between? Like involuntary, involuntary, opposite words. You know? I can't think of any other good examples right now.
Starting point is 00:22:57 Incognito. Incognito is one word. It's not in space cognito. Yeah, I'm looking it up. Incognito is a word. I know, I know. I'm telling you, Ryan, incognito's a word. I'm looking up the origins. I'm looking up its backstory. Its etymology.
Starting point is 00:23:13 Incognito. Mid-17th century. From Italian. Literally unknown. From Latin incognitus. From in. Not. Plus cognitus. Past participle of cogn... Jesus, cognosier? No.
Starting point is 00:23:30 So not know. Not known. Unknown! Look at that. Man, I love Latin, because Latin, all the words in with us, and it just sounds funny. Incognitus. In elementary school, did you have a Latin club? No.
Starting point is 00:23:43 I did, and I was in it for half of a year. And it was pretty cool. And then it was uninteresting and I stopped. Did you learn any Latin? I don't remember it to this day, but I'm sure there was like we learned stems and stuff like that. It was mainly that type of shit. No, that's useful for like English, like learning like the stems and stuff. But Latin is a language.
Starting point is 00:24:02 My grandma spoke Latin. My grandma spoke French and Latin and some Spanish, I think. Isn't it like you can't be fluent in Latin anymore? I imagine, I mean, I'm sure there's people that can, but I don't know, it's a dead language. Because like there's some words and things that people just don't know anymore. I'd imagine so, as with most languages.
Starting point is 00:24:22 I read some sad statistic that was like every day, like two languages. Actually, that's completely inaccurate. It was some amount of time, though, and then some large. Every day, two languages disappear from the face of the earth. No, really. It was like every day a certain number of languages die. You want to be even more sad? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:42 Think about it. I'm thinking. In a few decades, the gene pool will be muddled, like muddied up. No more white people. Ah! No! That was a meme I saw. Really?
Starting point is 00:24:55 Some guy was like, it was a picture of like a white chick. And it was like, can you believe in a few decades this beautiful white creature won't exist? Really? Yeah. R.I.P. I thought it was funny. I know believe in a few decades this beautiful white creature won't exist? Really? Yeah. R.I.P. I thought it was funny. R.I.P. That's so sad.
Starting point is 00:25:11 We got to hold a little funeral procession for the white race. I like Facebook. I like Facebook memes because I know the people who are using them and it's like I know they're using them legitimately. Like really awful old memes? Yeah. I'm going to see if I can. I'm going to scroll and see if I can just find some stupid. Here's someone sharing the mystery of the missing cat. That's the problem with Facebook is like I used to go on there to check like,
Starting point is 00:25:35 ah, see what my friends and family are up to. And now I get on there and it's just like viral video clips, like every single person is just sharing stuff. Does this look like the personal lives of my friends and family no that looks like videos on how to make some kind of weird casserole with Cheez-Its and then an ad for a show that's coming on to Fox
Starting point is 00:25:53 and then an ad for something that I've never searched but I've talked about in recent days and I'm like how did they know that that's weird I talked about paper towels and how I needed to get some paper towels and then I checked my Facebook and there were ads for paper towels. And I was like, what? Really?
Starting point is 00:26:09 Yeah. I don't like that. That's creepy. That is weird. I didn't look up paper towels or anything, but I said several times, like, I need to get paper towels. And then I looked at my phone and the next day I had an ad for paper towels. And I was like, huh, why is Facebook suggesting I should buy paper towels right after I was talking about paper towels? Also, that thing that's going around
Starting point is 00:26:28 where it's like, take a picture of yourself and then it compares you to like a famous painting to see what you look like. I haven't done that yet. Have you? Do people not see that that's clearly like, just I feel like that's just Google like cataloging faces. Well, it's that.
Starting point is 00:26:44 Yeah, that's pretty much it. Why else would they make that? I feel like it's just a waying faces. Well, it's that. Yeah, that's pretty much it. Why else would they make that? I feel like it's just a way to catalog faces. And to see how, like, say, look at this recognition technology. But I mean, I have a Google phone, so I can't really talk. I did it, though. I did the portrait thing, yeah. Well, what was your art piece?
Starting point is 00:27:01 Did you post it onto Twitter or something? I did not post it on Twitter. Let me pull it up real quick. Let me take a peek. When's the last time Matthew Twitter or something? I did not post it on Twitter. Let me pull it up real quick. Let me take a peek. When's the last time Matthew posted on Twitter? I posted the other day on Twitter. Here I am, Ryan. Look at this.
Starting point is 00:27:11 Look at this one. I think Aaron and I got the exact same one. Does it look like me? It kind of looks like the face you're making. I'm making that face I was making in My Two Lovely Uncles. Oh, man. That's good shit, guys. How did I not see that tweet of yours?
Starting point is 00:27:26 What tweet of mine? The Martin Scorsese tweet. Oh, yeah. Don't you think Review Bra? Scorsese, sorry. Scorsese. Review Bra would be perfect in a gangster movie. Like, as like a very intimidating, psychopathic crime boss.
Starting point is 00:27:38 Where he's just like, hmm, well, take him out back. Oh, shit, dude. Tell him goodnight. Zac Efron's gonna play Ted Bundy. Really? Yeah. I could see that. Ted Bundy was an attractive man.
Starting point is 00:27:49 He was. And Zac Efron's an attractive man. That's how a lot of serial killers get it done, because they're very charismatic and attractive. There's Zac Efron on the left, Ted Bundy on the right. Yeah, that totally. Oh, I'm excited for that movie. That's going to be good.
Starting point is 00:28:02 I like movies about serial killers. That's fucked up, because then it's like, whatever. It's the way we work. I'm interested in serial killer shit because it's just their psychology is so interesting to me. Yeah, it's fascinating. There's that show about it. How does that happen? How does someone become?
Starting point is 00:28:18 So how does their, I don't know. How do they do it without throwing up? Like how do some people because you know there's people like like you and me where it's like if I saw something graphic in real life I'd probably vomit or gas yeah I'd freak out I mean there's people that can do that graphic shit and then not feel anything it's like how do you get to that adrenaline rush yeah and it's like what's different in their brain like how did they become like that you know like to them sometimes like butchering a deer yeah it's like it's it's just it's creepy crazy shit and it's like why why are some people like that and others aren't
Starting point is 00:28:49 and the thought that they're like anywhere from 25 to 50 serial killers just somewhere in the united states and just kind of like they're just they're almost like sleeper agents like they'll just go quiet for a bit and they'll be like oh shit okay i'm gonna go kill some people yeah you could be doing nothing wrong like Like me, when I'm taking Lego out, I could be walking them out one day. Some guy I see walking over in the distance. I'm like, oh, that guy's walking to me. I look over again. I'm like, oh, wow, he looks like he's walking towards me.
Starting point is 00:29:14 And all of a sudden you notice something. He's wearing a small hat and he's whistling. And he's got a big knife in his hand. Oh, no! And he's with another man exclaiming how it feels good to be gay! The guy that you wheel my body away. In the shopping cart. You just membered body.
Starting point is 00:29:29 Oh man. When's the last time you went to a Target? I went to Target just last week. Aren't they better than Walmart? 100%. I used to love Walmart. Walmart used to be my thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:39 No, I used to love Walmart too. What could be better than Walmart? It's got everything. I don't know. Target's got higher quality than Walmart. Target feels nicer too. Target, it just has a nicer vibe. I feel like love Walmart, too. What could be better than Walmart? It's got everything. I don't know. Target's got higher quality than Walmart. Target feels nicer, too. Target, it just has a nicer vibe. I feel like the employees are nicer.
Starting point is 00:29:50 No judgment to any Walmart employees listening, because it's case by case. But I've just always had better experiences at Target. And also, Target seems to just, I like the aesthetic. I like the vibe. I like the red. It's nice. And I also heard that Amazon is possibly buying Target. No way.
Starting point is 00:30:08 No fucking way. I'm going to look that up. That would be ridiculous. I thought I heard that Amazon was going to buy Target, which is terrifying because Amazon just bought Whole Foods. So it's like these are big companies. They're swallowing up. Jesus. Amazon buying UPS.
Starting point is 00:30:21 What? Wait, really? No way. FedEx and UPS dip after report on Amazon's delivery concept. Oh, so it wouldn't actually be. I wonder if Amazon would ever like stop using UPS and just make their own carrier service and just use that. Because I mean, it's like the biggest company in the world now, right?
Starting point is 00:30:41 Has it surpassed Google? I don't know. Because I know Jeff Bezos or however you say his name, he's now the, what, the richest now, right? Has it surpassed Google? I don't know. Because I know Jeff Bezos, or however you say his name, he's now the, what, the richest man in history? The CEO of Amazon? No, Amazon isn't buying Target in 2018 from Forbes. Well, excuse me, Forbes, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:30:58 They don't need to buy anything. They're good. They're set. They're making those little grocery stores. That's weird, because it's like, I mean, that's what you'd think. anything. They're good. They're set. They're making those little grocery stores. That's weird because it's like I mean that's what you'd think. It's like I mean they're good but I guess like companies like that get so big they're like well time to keep getting bigger
Starting point is 00:31:12 and bigger and bigger and bigger. They have to keep innovating so what's the next big delivery convenience? Teleportation. They have Prime Now. They're going to teleport things to your front door. I guess Prime Now isn't everywhere. It's not like No it's only in big cities. Yeah, so they just need to expand that, I guess,
Starting point is 00:31:31 and get hard warehouses everywhere. Yeah, man, guys. In LA, we got this thing called Amazon Prime Now, which if you're listening and you also live in a big city, you probably have it too. Maybe you didn't even know you had it. Go check. But it's an Amazon delivery service where it's like an app.
Starting point is 00:31:44 And I think you do it on desktop now, but you can order stuff. Yeah. But it's not really an app. It's like an app. It is an app. No, but you can order stuff and Amazon will deliver it in, you can choose under an hour for like a little extra. But usually it's like two hours.
Starting point is 00:32:00 Well, it's like $7.99 extra to deliver it in an hour. Yeah. But otherwise it's free. But if it's busy, you can't get that. It'll be like, sorry, we can't do that at this time. Would you like it in between 8 and 12 at midnight? Yeah, but basically it's just you get, you can order stuff on Amazon and they deliver it almost instantly. So it's good for like groceries or if you need something quick and you can't run out.
Starting point is 00:32:20 I can be like, okay, I'll just order this stuff. And then it shows up. It's got tip your driver. It's like ordering pizza. Now I can be like, okay, I'll just order this stuff. And then it shows up. It's got tip your driver. It's like ordering pizza.
Starting point is 00:32:28 But instead of ordering pizza, you're ordering Swiffer mop pads. Yes. Toilet paper and stuff. Yes. It's cool. Yes. Are you going to say it? Are you going to finish it off? Nope.
Starting point is 00:32:34 You said three yeses. What comes next? I don't know. Yeah, you know what comes next. No. Yeah, you do. No, I don't. Yeah, you do, Ryan.
Starting point is 00:32:40 Your 7-Eleven socks look like they're from Mexico. Well, they probably are from Mexico, Ryan. I got them on eBay. They're just the color pattern. It looks like a Mexican type of color pattern. It looks Italiano. Okay, that's it. That's it.
Starting point is 00:32:53 Italian flag. I always get Mexicans and Italians confused. You know what I'm saying? You can say that again, brother. High five. I'm always getting Mexicans and Italians confused. You know what I'm saying? You can say that again, brother.
Starting point is 00:33:04 High five. I always get Mexicans and Italians confused. You know what I'm saying? You can say that again, brother. High five. I always get Mexicans and Italians confused. You know what I'm saying? The title of this episode will be I'm always getting Mexicans and Italians confused. You can say that again, brother.
Starting point is 00:33:15 High five. How's that? Is that a good title? You don't have the balls to do that, man. I'm not doing it. And I'm not editing this one, Ryan. You don't have the balls. I do have balls. No, you don't. And I'm not editing this one, Ryan. You don't have the balls.
Starting point is 00:33:26 I do have balls. No, you don't. You want to see them? Oh. You want to see them, Ryan? Look. Look. Oh, because after this, I get to have some fun.
Starting point is 00:33:34 Got to work on the PUBG stuff. Got to do some kitty cat gaming. Look at my balls. I'm not going to edit the podcast until tomorrow. Look at my balls. What? My pants are too tight. I can't pull them out.
Starting point is 00:33:44 I'm sorry. I would have done pull them out. I'm sorry. I would have done it, though. I'm sure... Like, you believe me, right, Ryan? Yeah. That I would have shown you my balls? Yeah. Cool. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm glad, man. I'm glad that we have a friendship in which I can just pull my balls out and show you, and it doesn't
Starting point is 00:33:59 shock you. You didn't pull your ball skin. Well, yeah, but still, I mean, I can show you my balls comfortably. It's not like it's a... So weird. Yeah, it's not weird. But it should be weird. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Like, I'm thinking about it. Like, I think normal guy friends don't, like, they're not okay with seeing each other's dick. Like, it's like, ah, dude. No, I mean, I think, I think... Or is it just like a, ha-ha, dicks. Ha-ha. Ha-ha. Dicks. There it is. Pen like a, ha ha, dicks. Ha ha, ha ha, penis.
Starting point is 00:34:25 There it is. Penis. I don't know, dude. Most guy friends I know, they're comfortable showing their dicks to their other guy friends. Look at my flaccid, floppy penis. Pretty much. I mean, you're not like revealing your erect penis to your friends. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:34:39 You're just like whipping it out and be like, ha ha, use my penis. That's one of the rules. You never show your erect penis to a friend. No, you can never show your erect penis to another man. Never. Especially if you make eye contact with that penis. That penis is looking at you like, buddy, buddy, back up.
Starting point is 00:34:53 Get back up. Get the fuck off. Get the fuck out of the room. Man, like, I walk in, your penis is like, your penis is like fully erect. It's got you by the collar. It's slapping you around like oh, it turns around goes What the fuck are you looking at? Sorry, sorry, how is my penis holding me by the collar and slapping me because it's symbolism for masturbation. Oh
Starting point is 00:35:15 Because when you masturbate you're not really doing the thinking it's your penis that has full control over you, dude That's so true. I never thought of it that way man, it's so true. I never thought of it that way. Man, it's like it should be weird for guy friends to show each other. I guess girls don't care if they see each other's tits. That's true. And guys don't care if they see each other's tits. No,
Starting point is 00:35:36 they don't. Want to see my tits? But if you were to walk into a locker room and you saw a dude naked, you'd be like, ah, shit, dude, sorry. If you saw a girl naked, you'd be like, fuck! Am I a sexual harasser now? That's true. Whoops. It's a lot different.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Well, I guess with, like, seeing a guy naked, it's like, you know, you got the same stuff. Guys see each other naked, so it's like, oh, sorry, man. But it wouldn't, like, you know, if you walked in your friend naked, it's just like, ha, whoops. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:01 If you walk in on your dad naked, like I commonly do, not my dad, your dad. Purposely. Purposely. He doesn't know it's purposely, but walking on your dad naked, like I commonly do. Not my dad, your dad. Purposely. Purposely. He doesn't know it's purposely, but every time your dad's changing, I'm always, whoops, sorry. Look, I know you want to get a good shot of that cock of his. I do. I really do, man.
Starting point is 00:36:16 I can't help it. It's a nice cock. It is. It is. But speaking of nice cocks, USC, go cocks. You just knocked over a stool, Ryan. I'm going to get it back with my foot. You hit the GameCube.
Starting point is 00:36:26 Why'd you do that? I'm going to get it back with my foot. Watch this. Fuck. He's trying. I got sweaty feet, so I can't. Come on. Pull it up.
Starting point is 00:36:33 There you go. There you go. It is back in place. He has lifted the stool back up with his feet. Everybody. Like a monkey. Quite a feat of a... Get it? Because it was quite a monkey. Quite a feat of a... Get it?
Starting point is 00:36:45 Because it was quite a feat. Ha ha ha. That's pretty good. Yeah. I wish you laughed like that at everything. Ha ha ha. Just ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:36:55 Oh, man. The rest of the podcast, you gotta laugh like that. How's editing for the Game Grumps going, dude? It's going great, man. Love my job. Yeah? Yeah, really enjoying it. How about you?
Starting point is 00:37:05 Going well. Right now I've got some Kitty Kat gaming, working on that PUBG episode that we got done, which is super cool. Got to edit this podcast tomorrow, probably. Rad, dude. Got to tell Don what to do for the thumbnail. Good old Don.
Starting point is 00:37:21 By the way, he's awesome. He's our channel artist on Twitter. He is Don Do-Ro-Ro-Ro-Ro. Go check out his Twitter because his pictures are super awesome. He does some great drawings, guys. Gotta love the little boy. He lives in Europe or some shit. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:37:36 I don't know. He's cool, though. He's a really cool dog. Cool little dog because his avatar is a dog. That's why I did that joke. Okay, Ryan, let's talk about furries. I want to make a documentary about furries, a really good documentary about furries. We've talked about this. I know we need to. We need to make like a...
Starting point is 00:37:52 I want to go hang out with them, learn their lifestyle, breathe the same air they breathe, wear their diapers. Like I just want to, I want to be a part of that, of that community for, for half a day maybe, and just see what it's like. of that community for half a day maybe and just see what it's like. There are people who are 100% socially normal. Like they're not socially awkward and they are furries. Oh, totally.
Starting point is 00:38:12 No, I know furries. And I got nothing against furries. I'm talking about the hardcore ones that like wear the suit all day. Yiff, yiff, yiff, yiff, yiff, yiff, yiff, yiff, yiff. Yeah, those ones. The ones that, you know, they like to do the,
Starting point is 00:38:23 they like to get a little freaky in the fur suits. That's fine, too. Yeah, no judgment. I mean, I just, I'm intrigued by that lifestyle, and I'd like to learn more about it. And I'd like to do that through making a documentary. I think that'd be a fun way to do it. I think I get a little weirded out when they start doing, hey, how's it going? And they start doing voices in their costumes.
Starting point is 00:38:42 Especially when they got, like, the really expensive the really expensive ones that the mouths move and everything. Like, that's okay. Let's go have fun. All right. Because in general, from what I see, that's just another way of escaping a life you don't like. Damn. I mean, everyone has their own thing that they do.
Starting point is 00:39:02 But becoming a character is a nice way to kind of put yourself on hold. Jim Carrey talked a lot about that in the documentary of how it was nice to take a break from Jim Carrey and just become someone else. Shit dude I never thought of it that way. Like when you're acting just don't worry about your own shit. Just be someone else.
Starting point is 00:39:18 Just be someone else. Yeah. Oh man I never thought about that. That's like a really interesting way to think about it. Yeah. I just uh... I don't know. I guess it's another, do you think furryism? Furryism is another form of escapism. Yeah, 100%.
Starting point is 00:39:35 There's so many, like, things that can be classified as escapism. Like, obviously the biggest ones are, like, drugs and alcohol, but then, like, there's, like, video games and... Wait, did you just say drugs? I just said drugs. alcohol, but then like there's like video games and... Wait, did you just say drugs? I just said drugs. Ryan, throw some air horns in. Thank you. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.
Starting point is 00:39:50 Real air horns, Ryan. I don't want to put any real air horns in. Come on, Ryan. I know it's more editing effort. Just put one in, please. What? Right here. Put it.
Starting point is 00:39:58 Go. Thank you. I'm sorry. I see. Sorry for that, Ryan. Wait, what? What? What were you saying?
Starting point is 00:40:16 There was a jackhammer going on. I couldn't hear you. Well, that's more. It's more work for yourself Jeez I just can't I can't fucking hear you dude Alright bub Alright bub I see what you're doing
Starting point is 00:40:37 It's a form of revenge So the viewers can't hear me and my opinions Someone's gonna be listening to this podcast Falling asleep and all of a sudden the sound of a fucking jackhammer is going to be like an air horn. It's going to be so confusing. Just in the middle of a podcast, we should just randomly get like the loudest sound a computer can produce and just play it. Just like just in the middle of a podcast for like half a second and then just continue on the conversation yeah alexa call dad i was about to say that what the fuck are you inside my head
Starting point is 00:41:12 i don't know i was literally about to do an alexa thing you know how many times that happens was like dude how were you thinking what i was thinking it's crazy i hope alexa called your dad uh yeah um i guarantee a bunch of people just had to like tell their Alexa to stop yeah I remember that one time we said we told Alexa to do something everybody was like my Alexa actually responded to that like Alexa
Starting point is 00:41:36 play jock jams or like okay Google text mom fuck you yes send I'm sorry if that if anybody if that just I hope it affects someone I'm really sorry it does I'm really you can show your mom this clip to explain it yeah exactly exactly but if you have to I hope that it oh man that it did it. Okay, we'll see. We'll see. We'll see how.
Starting point is 00:42:06 We'll see because here's the thing if we know it's real. People will send like kind of text message things to our Twitters, which will look somewhat believable. Or they'll fake it with their friends and be like, oh, the funny YouTube men, they're going to notice me and think it's real. Yeah, man. Like my favorite thing about Alexa is you can say Alexa, play jock jams, and then it'll be like, playing 32 jock jams. But it's just like, and it's just like music that you can imagine a bunch of like bros lifting weights to.
Starting point is 00:42:42 But it's very homoerotic at the same time. They're like very homoerotic jock jams. Yeah. Actually, you know what? What? Okay, Google, find the nearest Chuck E. Cheese and get directions to Chuck E. Cheese. That's probably not going to,
Starting point is 00:42:55 it does not know what to do from that. No, it doesn't. I guarantee it doesn't. Well, well, anyone who's listening, go find your nearest Chuck E. Cheese, go have a pizza, and then come back and listen to the rest of the podcast. Okay, hold up.
Starting point is 00:43:10 We were having a debate about this the other night, me and Ryan and Tucker. Because Tucker wanted to go to Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah. And Ryan was saying, no. It's for children. Three grown men can't go to a Chuck E. Cheese. You can't. And enjoy pizza.
Starting point is 00:43:19 You can't. I am currently, I have not made my decision. Well, I have an existing bias in my head, but I haven't informed Ryan of what my bias is. Let me hear your side. Why can three grown men not go to a Chuck E. Cheese and play some games and play in the ball pit and eat some pizza? Because it's a kid's restaurant
Starting point is 00:43:37 for kids' birthday parties and children. And if three grown men show up to a Chuck E. Cheese, they're going to look like they're predators going after children. Okay, I agree with you. I just wanted to a Chuck E. Cheese, they're going to look like they're predators going after children. Okay, I agree with you. I just wanted to hear your side. I disagree with Tucker. I think that three grown men absolutely cannot walk into a Chuck E. Cheese
Starting point is 00:43:54 restaurant and play the games and eat pizza. You can go to a round one. You can go to a Frankie's Fun Park. Yeah. But you can't go to a Chuck E. Cheese. No, Chuck E. Cheese is exclusively for young children. I know. It's like... Cranky's Fun Park. Yeah. But you can't go to a Chuck E. Cheese. No, Chuck E. Cheese is exclusively for young children. I know. It's like.
Starting point is 00:44:07 Do you think like. But what if. Okay. What if we really, really wanted Chuck E. Cheese pizza? Okay. We really wanted to go play the games. Do you think it's possible we could go on Craigslist and be like, hey, parents, we just need one kid. You're making this way more difficult.
Starting point is 00:44:20 Well, if I want Chuck E. Cheese. You can probably call in and say, hey, I want a pickup order. I got to. No, I want to go play go play games too I want to go play the games and get tickets and win prizes do you think there's one parent out there that would be like sure you can take my kid to Chuck E. Cheese for the day and I wouldn't hang out with the kid I'd leave the kid by himself in Chuck E. Cheese to go have fun
Starting point is 00:44:38 but you know if you're there with a kid then it's okay but now you're actively searching for a small child. Not in a creepy way. Something that you weren't even doing before. Like, going to a Chuck E. Cheese without that intent, it's like, it just looks weird. It's fine.
Starting point is 00:44:54 But now you're actively searching for a small child. Now I'm actually bringing children into it. Yeah. And I'm A, searching for a small child, and then B, abandoning the small child in a public place. Where there could be more creepy people like me. Using the small child. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:09 Have there been any cases of diddlers at Chuck E. Cheese? Yes, of course there have. It's a children's restaurant. Of course there's diddlers there. I'm looking up Chuck E. Cheese. And that's why we can't go because we would look like diddlers. Like three grown men, that's why they can't go to Chuck E. Cheese. It looks like they're there to abduct a child. Oh man. I can't imagine a worse job than working at
Starting point is 00:45:28 Chuck E. Cheese the fucking slogan is where a kid can be a kid so yeah we gotta tell Tucker that like Tucker that is the end all to his argument I know like Tucker of course we can't go to Chuck E. Cheese what's the slogan and he'll think for a second go where a kid can be a kid it's not where a grown man can go to
Starting point is 00:45:44 have fun with his other grown man friends where a grown man can go to have fun with his other grown man friends. Where a grown man can feel like a kid again. Yeah. It doesn't say, Chuck E. Cheese's please feel like a kid again. Don't touch the kids that are here, please. Please don't do that, please. Please don't touch the kids. Why don't they make an
Starting point is 00:45:59 adult section? Why don't they make like an adult Chuck E. Cheese? It's like a bar. It's like a nightclub Chuck E. Cheese. It's called Dave and Buster's. Yeah, but I want Chuck E. Cheese branding. You won't get make like an adult Chuck E. Cheese it's like a bar it's like a nightclub it's called Dave and Buster's yeah but I want Chuck E. Cheese branding you won't get that I want Chuck E. Cheese branding on an adult location what's wrong with the Dave and Buster's or a round one they're so much better than Chuck E. Cheese they are but Chuck E. yeah
Starting point is 00:46:15 but I like the branding of Chuck E. Cheese I like the branding of Chuck E. Cheese is just slightly creepier than McDonald's it's like it's like 90's McDonald's yeah which actually 90's McDonald's. It's like 90s McDonald's. Yeah. Which actually 90s McDonald's was creepy as shit. Remember like Mr. Mayor Hamburger? I don't remember his name. Do they still
Starting point is 00:46:32 have Ronald McDonald as a fucking like ceramic figure sitting on a bench putting his arm around kids? Some location I'm sure. When's the last time you saw Ronald McDonald though? Did they just abandon him? Did they kill him? Yeah. Is he killed off now? I'm gonna look that up. When is the last time you saw Ronald McDonald though. Did they just abandon him? Did they kill him? Yeah, is he killed off now? I'm gonna look that up. When is the last time you saw Ronald McDonald like in a commercial at a restaurant?
Starting point is 00:46:51 Okay, Google What happened to Ronald McDonald? According to Wikipedia in television commercials the clown inhabited a fantasy world called McDonaldland and has adventures with his friends mayor McCheese the Hamburglar Grimace 30 the early bird and the Fry Kids That didn't answer. That just told us the background of Ronald McDonald. But, like, those characters were creepy, right? That was a... What is that?
Starting point is 00:47:15 What the fuck? Am I the only one that thinks that? Do you think that those characters were creepy? Those characters, of course, are creepy. From, like, the old school McDonald's one? Like, the Hamburglar? Like, I just want to... I just want to eat some burgers.
Starting point is 00:47:24 I don't want to have these creepy characters shoved in my face. It makes me less appetized by the food. That's the first Ronald McDonald. Ew, what the fuck? I hate that. It says it's Willard Scott as Ronald McDonald from the
Starting point is 00:47:40 first of three pre-recorded television advertisements. I gotta see this. The Ronald McDonald commercial? Yeah. The original one? His nose is not a clown nose. It's literally a paper cup taped to his face.
Starting point is 00:47:55 And it looks like someone scribbled on his face with, like, magic markers and then just fucked his hair up. It's like he went and just, they put grease in his hair and fucked it up. All right. Introducing the world's newest, silliest, and hamburger-eatingest clown, All right. Hamburger eatingist. That's my favorite adjective is hamburger eatingist. What the? I hate it.
Starting point is 00:48:20 He has a meal on top of his head. Oh, Ronald. He's so silly, dude. I don't like that. I don't like that at all. Why didn't they stick with that design? Let me describe him, okay? So, whoa. Listen to that. Hmm. That's a little creepy. I see why're going to be friends too because I like to do everything boys and girls like to do. That's a little creepy.
Starting point is 00:48:49 I see why they ditched that version of Ronald McDonald. Yeah, that's very obvious why they ditched that version. I've already met all the boys and girls. I just love doing what children do. I'm a big child. A man that has a cup taped to his face, markers scribbled all over it, his hair's all fucked up, and he's wearing a box on his head.
Starting point is 00:49:06 With a hamburger, french fries, and a large soda. He loves doing what all the children do. That's what the children do. They tape cups to their face. They, uh, you know, they wear food on their head. Oh my god. Evolution of Ronald McDonald. Whatever happened to him, though, you know? Like, for real, I'm curious. Did McDonald's
Starting point is 00:49:22 kill him off because I have not seen him? Maybe it's because I don't watch TV anymore. It's not letting me pause it. Okay, there we go. It's the curse of Ronald McDonald. He gets inside of your phone and he possesses you. And then you become the next Ronald McDonald until you pass it on to somebody else. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:35 Like it follows. Except it's McDonald's. It McDonald's. That's it. It's just called McDonald's. Except it's said like it follows. McDonald's. McDonald's. Okay. It's a stretch, but I a stretch but I see it I see it we got it
Starting point is 00:49:50 cut that's it guys that's a wrap we got it we got the one perfect joke cut print I just like I'm kind of glad they ditched him because I feel like have you noticed this trend as we've moved further into the 2000s of ditching mascots for food and moving solely towards just the marketing is based purely around the food and not around like a goofy character?
Starting point is 00:50:12 Or like minus like even like kid cereals doing a little bit. Did that become a legality thing? Like you're like the same reason cigarettes can't have a fun mascot that's like hey smoking cigarettes is so fun oh boy I love it like with all these super sugary cereals are they still allowed to advertise in the same way? I don't know because I feel like I mean those
Starting point is 00:50:35 cereals are not good for you at all like honey smacks, fruit loops like I love me some fruit loops man fruit loops are my favorite cereal. Are they? Yeah but when I eat them I'm'm like, this is not good for me. And I know for a fact it is absolutely pure shit that I'm putting on my body. I would say Fruit Loops
Starting point is 00:50:51 is one of my favorite cereals without milk. You don't like it with milk? I like it with milk. All I'm saying is I like other cereals way more than Fruit Loops that have in which it's in a bowl with milk. But if I were to be handed a cup of a cereal where it's just like a snack, but there's no milk, then it would be Fruit Loops.
Starting point is 00:51:12 Or I think my number one dry cereal to eat for fun is Apple Jacks. Apple Jacks are really good. They're literally just Fruit Loops that are apple flavored. I love Apple Jacks. What is your favorite cereal? are really good. They're literally just Froot Loops that are apple flavored. I love Apple Jacks. What is your favorite cereal? See, this isn't
Starting point is 00:51:29 as in my, this is my favorite in terms of like, I won't, I don't want this all the time, but when I do it serves the craving larger than any other cereal craving I ever have and it's Fruity Pebbles oh my god man you can't
Starting point is 00:51:48 go wrong with Fruity Pebbles god damn Fruity Pebbles especially right when you pour the milk in and they're still crunchy but a little bit cold and soft oh my god they get of course a little just like Rice Krispies when they get all soggy and floppy in that beginning stage
Starting point is 00:52:03 oh it's good like the first few bites of a bowl of Fruity Pebbles, that's like ecstasy. It's so good. You know it's a good bowl of Fruity Pebbles when you pour in the milk, but you don't pour in enough milk to where you start to see the milk come up under the cereal. You're like, okay, there's a lot of milk under there. You put your spoon in there, and all of a sudden you're like,
Starting point is 00:52:19 oh damn, there's like a cavern of milk under this dry cereal. It's like a little underwater cave. You want to save as much of milk under this dry cereal. It's like a little underwater cave. You want to save as much of that crunchiness as possible. And you want that shit. Because you want some milk in there, but you don't want too much to ruin the cereal. Nothing's worse than a little bit of soggy cereal. And if you're one of those fuckers out there that eats your cereal soggy, like you let it get soggy, fuck you.
Starting point is 00:52:39 That's disgusting. You're absolutely wrong. But I think my favorite cereal is definitely Froot Loops and marshmallows. Fruity Pebbles are good. I like Honeycomb. I don't know if they still even make that. Yeah. I haven't seen it in a while, but I like Honeycomb. This is one of my, this is
Starting point is 00:52:53 not like one of my big favorites, but I like Pops. Oh yeah. But the texture of Pops when you chew, they always just feel stale. Like is that the draw to Pops? They're a little chewy. Yeah. I like Pops.
Starting point is 00:53:06 They're good. That is a draw to me, at least. Oh, my God. The milk after Pops tastes really sweet. Like, it just sweetens it up a bit. Almost, I think, it tastes kind of like your almond milk. Yeah. I bought soy milk for the first time recently. Sorry, soy milk.
Starting point is 00:53:19 Well, it is almond milk, but it's like silk. Like vanilla silk. Yeah. I had some almond milk and some soy milk recently, and I was like, you know what yeah um i had some i had some almond milk and some soy milk recently and i was like you know what i'm gonna try buying some soy milk because i don't know i'm gonna try it out it's good i got some it's fucking delicious i'm gonna start buying soy milk now because soy milk is so tasty and i you know what all right go ahead and call me a soy boy i dare you call me a soy boy that's what i am i'm a little soy boy i like it it's good
Starting point is 00:53:43 but i you know like i can just eat onions to counteract the soy because that's a thing that some of them believe is like the soy because that's estrogen. Eating soy makes you more feminine and that explains transgenders and stuff. And onions have testosterone. So there are guys on the internet out there who eat onions to raise testosterone levels. Ogres are like onions. Yeah, keep going, guys. And that's a nice Shrek reference.
Starting point is 00:54:11 I picked it up. Thank you. It's hard not to pick it up because the word ogre is in there. Do you think could you compare a lot of those guys eating onions to ogres, you think? Probably. I could say so. And I'm happy with my soy, so I'm gonna sit here and be a little soy boy and y'all can't do nothing about it.
Starting point is 00:54:27 You know what about cakes? Cakes have layers too. Yeah? And the cake is a lie? Am I right? Woo! Damn! Video game reference, baby. Nice Undertale reference. Man, I'm gonna get it. A lot of people just went That's not... What... Okay. What are the odds, Ryan, that you have to make your phone background a picture of yourself shirtless and flexing for a week?
Starting point is 00:54:56 So like your own phone background is just a picture of yourself shirtless. Ten. All right. Three, two, one. Eight. I don't have to do it. That's so embarrassing. I was talking with someone recently. Okay, wait. Now, 6 I don't have to do it That's so embarrassing, I was talking with someone recently
Starting point is 00:55:05 Okay wait, now my turn Odds are You put your home screen and your background Both of the backgrounds on your phone As Me Posing naked with me like cupping my Cupping my genitals
Starting point is 00:55:22 So you can't see them But it's just me going How long? Five days. A work week. Okay, a work week. Can I start it on Monday? Next Monday and then go to Friday? Yes. Okay, I'll do ten.
Starting point is 00:55:36 Okay. One, two, three, four. Don't have to do it. Okay. Don't have to do it. Dude, we should do an entire podcast episode where it's just, what are the odds? Just constant, what are the odds? You know what we should do from now on? We should make a segment where every episode we come in with a what are the odds for each other. Well, I mean, during our vlogs we're gonna start doing what are the odds.
Starting point is 00:55:52 Yeah, that's a great idea. I'd imagine, like, in the middle of a vlog just like, okay, what are the odds you do this? Let's do it. Let's do it. Which they will be coming soon. We're going to hopefully film a vlog within the next two weeks, I want to. I would like to say within the next week, but I'm giving ourselves space just because shit happens.
Starting point is 00:56:08 Yeah. You know, shit happens just like that famous bumper sticker. I, uh, I was talking with someone recently and just talking about how uncomfortable it would be to have like, as like, you know,
Starting point is 00:56:17 like people that have themselves as their phone background. You think it's a little weird? Yes. I think it's a little bit odd. Uh, no judgment. Have you come across people like that i have i've met people were like their phone background i don't remember who was like a selfie of them
Starting point is 00:56:28 smiling yeah it's like themself and i'm like oh your phone background i didn't point it out but i'm like oh your phone background is yourself my phone background is just black and then my lock screen is of course you guessed it matt the iron giant my phone background is a picture I took of a cool train station in Tokyo at night time and I like it a lot look at this look at this
Starting point is 00:56:50 it's a see a little city little city line that's nice I just like dark backgrounds they feel good and it saves battery because your pixels
Starting point is 00:56:57 aren't at work if it's too light then everything like kind of just gets too like fuck yeah I know
Starting point is 00:57:04 when I'm in bed at night, I got to turn that phone brightness all the way down to zero so it doesn't hurt my little baby eyes, my tiny little virgin eyes. God damn it, dude. What? What's wrong, Ryan?
Starting point is 00:57:15 I only have 610 more calories for the day. And I have to probably eat another 2000, so. I don't know what meal I'm going to eat that's filling later today that has that. Whatever, it's fine. Just eat air, man. Why don't you what meal I'm gonna eat that's filling later today that has that whatever it's fine eat air man why don't you filter feed like a sponge it's the best way to lose weight I wonder if there's people out there that are convinced they can filter feed
Starting point is 00:57:34 yeah you can't just a spoiler by the way no that's that will kill you so please don't do that that's been health advice with Matt Watson and with that I think that's a good place to end this week's podcast what What do you say, Ryan? But not before I give myself a personal shout out. I've started
Starting point is 00:57:49 streaming on Twitch more consistently. Yes, he has. So, I don't have a schedule yet, but if you want to catch some of my Twitch streams, it's twitch.tv slash Eli Ryan McGee, E-L-I-R-Y-M-A-G-E-E. I got it all set up.
Starting point is 00:58:06 Don made a wonderful, delicious profile picture for me. Love you, Don. You're wonderful. It looks nice. And I just stream kind of whatever. Right now, I've been streaming Cuphead, Gears of War Ultimate Edition. I want to get into just kind of like more platformers. I want to play some more.
Starting point is 00:58:23 I want to play some like Binding of Isaac, stuff like that. And also make sure to keep your ears and eyes both peeled. Peel them off. Your ears have to be peeled too for both Matt's and Super Mega's Twitch. Well, hopefully we'll be coming to you within the next month or so. If there's one thing I'm excellent at,
Starting point is 00:58:41 it's saying I'm going to start streaming and then not doing it. That's actually one of my many talents. But if you and I start streaming together, you'll be like, wow, I do like this streaming thing. Maybe I want to do it by myself. I do want to do it by myself. Literally, I just am stuck at this process of trying to create a background that I like, like a layout
Starting point is 00:58:55 and then getting the rest of the technical stuff set up. I finally made one I'm like happy with, like the aesthetic. I like it a lot. It looks good. It looks good. Yeah. But go check out Ryan's stream. Subscribe to him on Twitch. For some reason, every time you go live, it sends me an email personally that says Ryan McGee is now live on Twitch.
Starting point is 00:59:12 You can't subscribe to me yet because I'm working through that. I got an email with Twitch today. Go follow him on Twitch. Because I was talking. You know what they said? What'd they say? Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. They said, boy, it feels good to be gay. And that was it.
Starting point is 00:59:27 Apparently Twitch is fighting with the IRS. Really? Why? We have received a notification that their IRS database is undergoing a maintenance, and hence there is a delay in validations for being a part of their partner program. Oh, that makes sense. Well, man, the IRS is not someone you want to fight with. Nope.
Starting point is 00:59:43 Wow. Guys, if you ever get letters from the IRS, please take them seriously. Yeah. One time I got a letter from the IRS because they randomly – I have no idea why. They randomly were just like, hey, this guy is committing identity theft. I'm like, no. You? I thought you were committing identity theft.
Starting point is 01:00:02 They thought I wasn't Ryan McGee pretending to be Ryan McGee but I had to so I had to call them and prove to them over a course of an hour that I was Ryan McGee they ask you all sorts of personal questions I had to get a bunch of like legal documents up I had to give them like a bunch of information of my past and stuff like that
Starting point is 01:00:20 and it's their fuck up not mine I was living my life and all of a sudden randomly they were like oh oh I'm dead I'm in the IRS for the IRS that was not Matt Watson making fun of that was Ryan McGee making fun of the IRS I have nothing but respect
Starting point is 01:00:36 for the IRS and the members of its agency please don't pursue my taxes but only the men of the agency no I respect the women of the agency more than the, well, equally with the men. Equally? Yes.
Starting point is 01:00:50 Just a little bit more? Maybe a little more. They're going through a lot recently. Yeah, they are. It's good. I respect all of you at the IRS. Please don't look into my taxes. Matt, watch out!
Starting point is 01:01:01 The podcast is ending! Ah, shit!

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