supermegashow - EP 78 - Stepdad Ryan

Episode Date: February 3, 2018

We talk fake missile threats, expensive real estate, and what it would be like if Ryan was Matt's stepdad. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Please play responsibly. Hey everybody, welcome to Super Megacast episode 78. It's a big one, we've been planning it for months. We're so excited. Okay, um, first up, we just wanted to say thank you for being great. Task number two. Please report any crime or any suspicious persons you see

hanging around the facilities eastbound of Compton, please. That's where our studio is located. Compton's gotten better over the years, but it's still pretty scary sometimes. Yeah, actually, believe it or not, we do record this podcast in Compton. Yeah, we just, you know those little cigarette stands where it's only... They're like secluded, they're not actually part of a building, it's just like a five-foot building? We record in one of those. Because they gave us a deal and it's like okay you guys can record your hit podcast in here and we'll give ryan free

cigarettes so look at that guys we got a we got a great deal it's a prime piece of real estate could not be more happy with the location we record our podcast in a cigarette booth in the middle of compton i have to say man that'd be pretty like cozy like those little those little like cigarette stands look pretty comfortable like that'd be pretty cool. That'd be pretty, like, cozy. Like, those little, like, cigarette stands look pretty comfortable. Like, that'd be nice just to work in one of those. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure that those have such a high risk of being robbed, because, like, what security is on that? It's literally just, like,

essentially a cardboard box filled with cigarettes in the middle of a parking lot. You know? No one's gonna mess with us, and every now and then, it's just, like, you just hear, like, a knock on the window through the, like, in the we're like oh hold on yeah can i get some uh can i get some uh newports palma palma orange please hold on guys one second yeah sure it's gonna be uh it's gonna be 575 yeah on guys, there's a line. One second. Oh man,

what a wonderful life that would be. Dude, it's a wonderful life. I don't know man, like I feel like if everything goes wrong on this podcast and just in general,

I could just go work at one of those little like tiny little cigarette stands. Not even stands, like it's literally like a five foot by five foot building.

It's like the smallest building you could imagine. And it's literally like a like a five foot by five foot building it's like the smallest building you could imagine um and it's just like in the middle of a parking lot or on a street corner i love them man we should buy one dude no okay forget getting like new apartments or getting a house or whatever in the future let's just each buy one of those and then renovate it so it's like just a one a one bedroom house like sleeping bag lego can sleep on top of me he can curl up on the far left side of the of the little shop yeah dude you can i'm sure you could fit like a nice uh gaming computer in there oh yeah like a little a little chair and then i could put an like a little monitor on the ceiling so i could play xbox yeah

that'd be fantastic i'm not joking that'd be a really fun project to take one of those and try to renovate it into your own little house. I don't think you could, but it would be an interesting project. Well, I'd like to try. Guys, I'd like to try. So we're going to do it. 2018, that's my goal.

My name's Matt. My new art project is going to be revitalizing this part of town and making it more expensive for poor people so they have to move out, so. Um, but it's cool because I like the aesthetic of being poor without being poor. What's up, guys? It's Matt, the Gentrifier Watson. Today, we're gonna be gentrifying Compton. But legitimately, like, I understand, like, gentrification, honestly. It makes neighborhoods better, but it's essentially kicking out a whole class of people. And it's also, it's essentially just making, it makes it just so fucking expensive, dude. Like, I can't, like, it's expensive as fuck.

Like, I'm, like, looking at places around L.A., like, areas that used to be really bad that became gentrified. They're too expensive to afford. It's because these hipsters come in, Ryan. These dang hipsters, these millennials, they drive the prices up to an apartment like $3,000 a month. And I'm like, how am I supposed to afford that? How are you supposed to afford that? Well, I'm trying. And you know a good way for us to afford a good apartment would be to do brand deals such as Keeps.

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Jake Paul, I definitely want some of that anyways um so let's move on to another topic so ryan you're growing your hair out correct i am yes i'm at that stage where it's awkward if this falls over my ears yeah i have to i have to now tuck my hair behind my ears i don't think it looks bad though i think that looks good yeah tucker said that yesterday he's like, well, the good thing is it doesn't look bad. I do need to probably thin out my hair. Your hair is... You got big hair, because you have

such thick hair. You got that thick Middle Eastern hair. It's thick as fucking shit. Especially in the back. Look at this shit. Can I run my hand through that? If you want to. Damn, dude, that's thick. Feel my hair. Feel how thin my hair is. Damn. Yeah, that's thick. Feel my hair. Feel how thin my hair is. Damn. Yeah, that's like... Damn.

Okay. Yeah. For those of you who are wondering, Ryan has very thick hair and I have very thin hair, so now you can imagine touching our hair and know exactly what it feels like. We have a hair-feeling fan meetup in Echo Park. Oh, man. Let's do that, man. You get to reach into a box and touch our hair and then you have to guess which one it is.

That hair's thick. That's Ryan! Huh. Wait. Some homeless guy with a dick in a box? They open it up. It's just like some of the fans have been stroking some homeless dude. Oh, this feels so nice. He's like a nice guy. He's like, he wandered into the box wondering what's going on. A hand reaches in and starts giving him a handjob. He's like, he wandered into the box wondering what's going on.

A hand reaches in and starts giving him a handjob. He's not like, he's not like, whoa, oh man, I gotta get a handjob from these weird people. He's just like, oh, whoa, what's in this box? Dude, like if I wandered into a box and started getting a handjob, I'm not gonna stop it, you know? Handjobs are great. You know what else is great? What? Going to the movies.

Going to the movies is pretty great. I could just see like, we're at the, like, like people are reaching in the box and like touching the hair. It's like, oh my God, that's Ryan's hair. And then we show up and we're like, all right, guys, who's wearing this? What are you guys doing? We should do that. We should do a hair touching fan meetup where people can come touch our hair. Would you guys show up to that?

Let us know in the comments. What are you doing, Ryan? You're going crazy over there. What's wrong? I just had a thought. What's what? Movie theaters suck. Movie theaters do.

There's something, like, charming about movie theaters that I like. I love going to. It's like the experience. You love the thought of going to one, but whenever you go. Okay, yeah. When's the last time you were at a movie and someone wasn't a dipshit? I can't remember. Well, since I go with Ryan every time.

Boom, boom, boom, boom. I don't know. There's since I go with Ryan every time. I don't know. There's so many instances that stand out. Like when I saw Moonlight, I went and saw Moonlight by myself. Oh, yeah. Is that the people that are like, oh, when they kissed? These two guys sat down in front of me. And I guess they didn't realize it was like a gay movie. And then when two men started kissing, they both went.

They started looking around. They both started looking around frantically. I'm not gay. That's gay. That's gay. And then they both got up and left. And I was like, awesome. Now I can enjoy the movie more.

Every movie I've been to so far, there's been some dude talking behind me. Or, yeah, that's pretty much it. There's always someone talking directly behind me. What I've noticed more so in California than anywhere else in movie theaters is people will pull out their phone and just start like texting and going on Instagram, not even trying to hide the phone. Just scrolling through Facebook. They'll just like have it right in front of their face scrolling through and they don't even make an effort to hide it. And I've never noticed that like outside of California. Maybe that's just my luck.

But I feel like, I don't know. Since I've been in California, I've noticed people will literally just pull their phones out and just start like scrolling through Instagram during the movie and it's like what you paid to be here other people paid to be here I know and that's the thing is like you're not the only person that paid to be here like other people paid to be here too so

well they don't care it's all about them because they're number one it is they're number one but also I don't think no that's that's not an excuse ever i was about to say well some people probably just don't get theater etiquette yeah like when in the beginning of every every fucking movie in every goddamn theater it says please turn off all cell phones switch them to silent there will be no texting or talking that's true during the movie that's true and people are like oh that's just like a general thing that's like when they say don't go swimming after you eat even though that's a myth but it's like they i just don't understand

it pisses me off to no fucking end when someone talks in a theater because it it just it takes me out of it and i don't want to get up and report them to the theater people. You don't want to be a little snitch. Well, that's five minutes out of the theater. Five minutes, a lot of shit can happen. What if I miss the best scene? Angie has made it easier than ever

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Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. Yeah, exactly. I hate getting up during a movie because it's like, if I have to pee really bad during a movie, I'm like, man. I usually just hold it until I'm torturing myself. But then I hate it because then it's like, then you can't fully

focus on the movie. So it's like, okay, do I get up and potentially miss a good scene or do I just slightly distract myself for the rest of the movie with my full bladder? Man, you know what we gotta start doing? We gotta start because theater etiquette is so bad around here, it doesn't matter anyway, we can start bringing

like piss bags to the movies and just like start peeing in them during the movie. People aren't gonna notice. Okay. And if they do it's just like, what? It's, you know, people don't really care about theater etiquette. Old people have those they tape them to their leg and they pee out of a tube. A catheter?

Let's get catheters, dude. Let's do the catheter challenge. And then someone will accidentally bump into their pee bag. It'll burst and run down their leg. I wonder if that ever happens. I'm sure it's happened once. That's got to be a terribly embarrassing thing. And if that's happened to anyone listening, we're sorry.

That sucks. thing and if that's happened to anyone listening we're sorry that sucks but uh seriously for those wondering um uh you know when you when you talk in theaters and you think you're being quiet you're not even when you're doing this do you understand what a silent room does to sound it amplifies it that's why movies are you know movies are loud yes but it still doesn't drown out people that are right next to you if you're if you're like the way i whisper in a theater i don't do this because that's still projecting it's probably hard to understand me but i'm just like i hate that i hate it so much i can't help it but if i'm gonna talk in a theater i have to talk like that.

I don't want to be that person. You know what's a better solution than that? Let's just bring a tin can phone to the movie theater. Let's make a little tin can phone. And we can just cup it to your mouth and it's like, hey, Brian, what do you think about that scene? And see, people won't be able to hear it because my mouth will be in the tin can,

so the sound won't travel through. It'll only go through the string to your tin can, and you can hear it and you'll go oh man that scene was really good i liked it what about this scene right now and i'll say this seems pretty good too i'm just remembering like there's this recent showing of a movie that tucker and i went to go see and uh this person in back of us just kept they they were a comedian they were with a girl and they were trying to impress her and to impress her that meant um being an asshole to everyone in the theater when i heard his voice when i heard him going he there was a point in the movie where this the male character was giving this speech on behalf of a female character and then the female character was like oh my god he's

standing up for me type of thing and during that that scene, the whole time, the guy was going, man, she's just thinking, I want to suck that dick. I want to suck that dick. I want to suck that dick, son. Man, look at that face. He was saying that? Yeah. He was just saying that at the volume that I'm currently saying that. He just kept going on and on.

And it was a really funny joke. And so everyone in the – see, here's the thing. Whenever someone's talking or trying to make a joke like that in theaters nobody usually laughs have you ever had that like you're at a premiere someone will like talk out loud and just be like uh let's say rocket raccoon from the new guardians of the galaxy movie he um no that's that's a bad example let's say the new horror movie comes out and people it's fine to talk and hoop and hollered in horror movies because they're a big fun time

opening day say something happens in the horror movie uh like uh a cat a cat dies someone yells out in theater i still got eight lives right and then like no one laughs and they're like, and then they laugh hard and then their friends laugh hard to make him feel better. And it's like this big thing of like, I'm funny.

That's a bad example though because that would make me laugh. Would it make you laugh? Yeah, that one would make me laugh. Yeah, because I said it in that voice. I'm sure if someone was just like, are you a dick in movie theaters? No, I'm not a dick in movie theaters.

I go to movies with you. You know I'm not a dick. Occasionally. You don't go, we don't go that often. Well, it's just like, meh. Are you a dick in movie theaters? No, I'm not a dick in movie theaters. I go to movies with you. You know I'm not a dick. Occasionally. We don't go that often. Well, it's just because you see way more movies. I see movies I want to see, and you see most movies. Yeah.

So, I don't have movie pass, so I can't... I guess I don't want to spend $15 on a ticket for a movie I don't really want to see. You know? Well, you could pay $9.95 for a movie that you do want to see. With MoviePass?

Yeah. That's true. I could. Because you'll save money. I don't know. I just feel like I don't see enough movies to... One movie. That's true.

And then it's worth it because then you'd have saved five bucks. That's true, man. Shit. And that's cheaper than going to see one movie a month, because movies are like $15. Well, like $16.75. You know, MoviePass, maybe you should sponsor us. Yeah, even though I've called you out probably multiple times on Twitter,

because your customer service is shit. But I like your service. It's good service. So far, until you fuck all of us over. Hey, in the comments section, ah, remember when MoviePass was only $9.95 and they didn't hike up the price to $20 a month without warning anybody? That's going to happen in the future.

I'm calling it. Ryan's calling it. Although I think they do have to disclose a price hike. I think that's a legal thing, right? Yeah, I think so. I wonder if there's any, I wonder how many things we've called on like earlier episodes of the podcast we've just forgotten about but have completely come true

there's got to be at least one there's definitely something we called on earlier episodes like some obscure thing and then it totally happened yeah i have a feeling we've called a lot of things do they always come true no probably 99 of them don't come true. But who knows? You just got to throw shit at the wall. Maybe some of it will stick. Yeah. Maybe the things just haven't come true yet, you know? See? So technically we're still in the gold, dude.

Any news? Any like recent news you've read that's interesting? Recent news? Well, we woke up to a tsunami warning the other day but it was oh yeah but it was like not not it was kind of like a false alarm they were like i can tell you i never i never thought that living in glendale i would get a tsunami warning i was like i mean i understand because we're we're technically close to the coast yeah in los angeles but at the same time it's not gonna fuck with us. Yeah, but it

just goes out to all of the whole coast. But anyway, it was just because there was like an earthquake in Alaska, and then they called it off because they were like, nah, never mind, there's not actually a tsunami warning, don't worry about it. Which, that was nice, but that's a weird warning to wake up to. I was like, huh. It's better than waking up to a missile warning like the people in

Hawaii that, that would have scared the shit out of me, dude. I'd have to take it seriously. I wouldn't be like, of course. It says in all caps, this is not a drill. It says ballistic missile warning like the people in Hawaii that that would have scared the shit out of me. I'd have to take it seriously. I wouldn't be like, ooh. It says in all caps, this is not a drill. It says ballistic missile incoming. This is not a drill. I'd be like, well, shit. I don't know what I would do.

If right now our phones went off and we got an alarm saying Los Angeles ballistic missile threat, what would we do? Where would we go? Would we try to find somewhere underground or like a parking garage and go underground or just stay recording this podcast because we love our viewers so much that we are willing to risk our lives for them? We could record it on Facebook Live. Yeah, that's true. Hey, we're

Facebook Live. Missiles gonna kill us all soon. We're gonna be famous because not many people are probably Facebook Living the event of nuclear holocaust. But make sure, go ahead and subscribe to us and see if you can get us to 500,000 subscribers before we die. That'd really make us happy. Thanks. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you so much. That'd be pretty cool, man. Yeah. Dude, let's fake a, okay, let's call in like a fake missile alert and then Facebook live it while everyone's freaking out and say get us to 500,000 subs before we die so then we can quickly get to 500,000 subs. Oh, you think then we can quickly get to 500,000 subs.

You think that we'd actually get to 500,000 subs? Oh, I think so, dude. I mean, we're about 90,000 away. We can do it. You guys are like, thank you so much. All of you. The growth lately has been fantastic. And to all the new people listening to the podcast that have never listened before.

Thank you for tuning in. We hope you enjoy and thank you for supporting us. I hung out with our boy Ethan. Ethan? Not H3H3. You might know him as on YouTube, Crank Gameplays. Crank Gameplays.

His name is Ethan, if you haven't heard of him. He's a real nice fella. We walked up and down Venice Beach. Santa Monica Boulevard. We did, though. And we went to this, like, Mexican place to eat. And the waitress there couldn't have been more disassociated from what was going on

and what her job was. It's like other it was like chill so the waiters could wear what they want but it was like hey are you guys ready to order? It's like yeah. No we were like no not yet. She's like okay I'll be back in 10 minutes y'all decide.

20 minutes later she comes back oh that's right okay sorry uh what do you want and i'm like uh can i get a refill on my water and uh some tacos she's like okay 15 like about 10 15 minutes later like she comes by again like hey could i could i get that refill on my water please she goes oh i'm sorry i'm so i'm so as i was leaving i don't think he even noticed but i was like have a good night and i think i surprised her because she just went have a good night like right in my ear like i'll be turning i was like ah it made me jump it's just this just this just experience with just someone who obviously was not with it dude maybe she was on uh illegal

narcotics maybe a lot of people are on those in fact right afterwards we were walking out of the restaurant there was a dude outside uh looked like one of them pot smokers and he asked me verbatim because i have not heard this terminology in a long time and i thought it only existed in the 90s or early 2000s or know, 80s possibly. He was like, y'all got some chronic? Chronic? I was like, what? Like, I was like, oh, um, no. I was like, y'all don't smoke that chronic, man.

We're fine, dude. Thanks. I, uh, I forgot that that term existed. I forgot chronic was a term. The chronic, dude. Bro, you want to go smoke some chronic with me? Dude, I'll smoke some fucking chronic with you. Where did that term existed. I forgot chronic was a term. The chronic, dude. Bro, you want to go smoke some chronic with me? Dude, I'll smoke some fucking chronic with you. Where did that term even come from, and how did it get so widespread?

Chronic? I don't know. I'm calling it chronic from now on. From now on, no more weed, no more pot. It's chronic. We got to bring it back. We're bringing back chronic, guys. Dude, do you have any chronic?

Yo, y'all want to go smoke some chronic tonight and watch Kangaroo Jack? Oh, my God. That's great, man. But when we were walking along the Venice Beach boardwalk, want to go smoke some chronic tonight and watch kangaroo jack oh my god that's great man but when we were walking just in like uh along the venice beach boardwalk i saw like we saw these apartments and i'm thinking how fucking expensive are these apartments and he he guessed 10,000. A month? A month. I said 5,000. So right here, Ethan, I know you're fucking listening. We're about to see who was right because we never looked it up.

All right. Are you ready? Look it up, dude. Look it up. How much apartment say I know on Venice Beach? Let's see what the average is. Those apartments down there. Anything near the beach in L.A. is going to be super, super expensive. Let's see what the average is. Those apartments down there. Anything near the beach in LA is going to be super, super expensive.

Let's see. How much you at? It's that beachfront real estate, man. Yeah, I like how they are not posting price. Man, I really wanted to find out who was right and who was wrong, who was closer. Well, that was climactic. Fuck, what? I look up how much apartment Venice beach boardwalk.

Google's like, what are you talking about? When I type questions into Google, I don't speak in a complete sentence. Oh, yeah. I don't either. I just speak like a baby. Because this is like, how much apartment Venice beach boardwalk. Dude, I do the same. I wonder how many people do it.

They're filler words. If I'm looking up, let's say I got a prescription and i need to know like how long i need to take it i'll be like how long prescription take or like like if i'm looking up like uh the ingredients for like a cherry pie i'll be like ingredients cherry pie like you don't need to type but i like uh like adults like a lot of like older adults will type like what ingredients do i need for a cherry pie into google we'll type the full thing yeah it's just like um how long should i cook a cherry pie for when you just need the type how long cook cherry pie just how long cherry pie it's it's comes up it's just keywords yeah google is only focused

on keywords you don't need those filler words baby no i i love how i also like how older people type how they'll use like one finger on each hand and they'll stare at the keyboard and they'll like search and then click it like one by one what's that called that's called the the hunting pack what is that i forgot what it's called there's like some term for it but there's like a lot of people that type like that. And I also noticed a lot of like older people when they use phones, they'll hold their touchscreen phone in one hand and then with one extended finger, like tap the screen like that. Have you noticed that? I can't.

I don't. Like a lot of adults use their phone like that. Oh, like this. Yeah. They do the whole thing where they hold it far and they're looking down. They're just like. They like they hold it at an angle when they like tilt their head up, but squint their eyes down like man i wonder if i'm gonna be like super blind when i'm older because i mean my vision's already starting to go at at 21 so uh like i don't know

i had perfect vision my whole life and then just out of the blue when i was uh 20 it just was like hey no no longer bye bye and then better. That's so weird to me. What? How just like, I was so unaware of that even being a possibility. But my dad talked about it. He's like, yeah, I started losing my vision at 23. Yeah. I'm like, oh, shit, it just happens to you.

Like, it's like you'll have perfect vision, and you'll never have a problem. All of a sudden, you'll start losing it. You'll be like, fuck. Yeah, that's happened to me. Is there like an eye exam I can take to find out right now on my phone? Dude. No. Yeah, there is.

There's going to be an app, and it's going to be called the Eye Exam app. Just go to an eye doctor and be like, Doc, how good's my vision? No, Matt. I want you to be my doctor. Okay, I'll be your doctor. Okay. I don't want to take this eye test on the podcast, but I'm going to take it at some point. Okay, I'll be your doctor. Okay, um... I don't want to take this eye test on the podcast, but I'm going to take it at some point.

Okay, dude. And I'll update. Sounds good, man. Sounds good. I feel like you seem like you have pretty good vision. You... Like 2015? You talked about it. 15, 20, one of those two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I feel like you got like... You seem like a guy with some pretty good vision. I can just tell by looking at you.

I'm just looking, and everything's so clear. Like, how do you notice you start having bad vision? Because you said you didn't really even notice until you put on glasses that were your prescription for the first time. Well, I did start to notice, but, like, I didn't – the thing I didn't notice was how bad it was until I put on glasses. And then I was like, oh, my God. Like – What do you – like, for example, what are some things that I should be looking out for in terms of losing my vision? Just if things start getting blurry.

It just depends if you're nearsighted or farsighted. See those action figures up on that shelf up there? Yeah. I can't even tell what those are. Those are so blurry to me. And then I put on my glasses. Actually, I still can't tell what those are because they're weird dinosaur things. Yeah, exactly.

But they're still super blurry to me. You made me scared for a second because you're like, I don't even know what they are. I'm like, I can't even tell what they are. they're weird dinosaur things. Yeah, exactly. But they're still super blurry. You made me scared for a second because you're like, I don't even know what they are. I'm like, I can't even tell what they are. They look like lizard dinosaur things. Yeah, but okay, I can't read. Okay, actually, I have a test for you. Okay. Okay, leave your glasses.

My glasses are off. Awesome! I'm far away from the mic and I'm talking. He's standing on the other side of the room. Yeah, okay, Matt. What color is this person's head bandana? Blue. He's standing on the other side of the room? Blue. Blue? Yeah, okay, I couldn't see that then. It just was all- it was a big blur to me.

Okay. Yeah, 100% I could tell it was purple. Okay, but, okay. Yeah, that's purple. That's purple to me. Let me, are we just going to play with action figures?

I know it's purple, but I just want to see. Yeah, that's definitely not blue. Okay. Yeah. So, I feel like I'm fine. No, the easiest,

the test they do at the eye doctor is like, the test they do at the eye doctor is like they, you know, where you have to stand against a wall

and you have to cover up one eye with that weird spoon thing. And then you have to like read the chart, you know, you got it. And you got to like read the smallers when I used to be able to do it perfectly, like 100 percent. And then it got to a point where like I got to the bottom half of the chart and I was like, I can't even read that. I'm not going to try. When I was a little boy, I used to like to show off. I tried to go as fast as possible and I'd get it right. You know, you know, the eye doctor was just like, oh shit, this guy's awesome.

My eye doctor was like, this boy is so sexy to me now. No, he's just like, he's got to love everybody. He's got to treat everyone equally. Doctors don't love his patients just as much as he loves his children and wife. If he's, if he's willing to treat everyone equally. Doctors don't love everybody. He's got to love his patients just as much as he loves his children and wife if he's willing to save their lives. What if that was like a stipulation from your doctors that you have to love your patients as much as you love? How many cases do you think where a doctor gets handed a patient? If that patient were that doctor's wife or husband, would that person who died have lived because the doctor would have worked

harder or, you know, there's that extra incentive? Ooh, I don't know, man. That's tricky. I feel like that is a good question. I feel like- Or ask Reddit. Or doctors. Doctors, do you think a patient that died in your care would have a better chance if

they were your wife, child, or husband? Slash family member of sorts? I think that's just, like, I think human nature, though. You want to, like, nurture and care more for the people that you care about. But I'm also wondering, like, it's like, we did everything we could. But was there a possibility? I mean, there is a possibility that they could have saved the person's life. That's what I wonder when doctors say like we did everything

they could it's like in no way am I downplaying that doctors try but I wonder like is it possible to have saved that person because of course with some cases there's like nothing you could do where it's like for us it's like

one of our errors would be like fuck forgot the i took the animated this week it's going up 10 minutes late type of shit or it's going up a little late a doctor oh shit i was supposed to give this uh this patient that you know it's just like the mistake a small mistake a doctor makes is is more than 10 a 10 minute late let's play or or game grumps animated and it's like weighing those two things it's like when i fuck up i feel horrible and i get this sudden rush of anxiety and my the rest of my day is fucked in terms of i guess just mentally being sound yeah because i just have this beating heart and i'm just like fuck fuck

fuck i fucked up because i feel like shit i mean it's my job and i'm just like fuck fuck fuck i fucked up because i feel like shit i mean it's my job and i and i and i try to catch things and sometimes my stupid brain doesn't or you know i'm i don't know mistakes happen unfortunately you know that's just the way life is that's the way it is especially when you're editing as much as we are not to give an excuse but like when a doctor makes a mistake. Well, that's the thing is like when you make a mistake with our job with editing, you just get a bunch of angry fans.

Yeah. And the thing is, it's like it's very stressful, but I can't imagine the stress like that a doctor would face for messing up because like our job, if you mess up,

it's not the end of the world, but there are jobs where if you mess up, like that is the end of the world. Like there are jobs where if you mess up, like that is the end of the world. Like if you're a heart surgeon or a brain surgeon. Bring it back to Hawaii. Yeah, exactly. Did you also hear about the Hawaii missile alert? The governor couldn't alert people sooner because he forgot his Twitter password.

Oh, it's so stupid. I had no idea, even though this is super old news by now, of course. And it's still old news when we're talking about it, but it's still an interesting thing that happened because you saw how their system works. It's a drop down menu and there are two options and one is missile alert test and missile alert. So if someone and there's no like click it. Are you sure you mean this?

It's just you click it and it's like, OK, yeah, exactly. And it's like who in their fucking right mind sets that shit up is that how it happened like yeah they were gonna do a test i mean they clicked the wrong one yes oh my god that's awful like that's a that is it is it it strikes me when Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, name pretty much any fucking social media website has better security than a system that alerts our nation of impending nuclear disaster. Yeah, because like. Blows my fucking mind. That's so funny to me. I wonder, do you think that guy got fired? Yes.

The guy that pressed the wrong button? 100%. Ah, poor guy. Dude dude that guy used to feel awful like in terms of like fuck ups at work like that guy's probably just like oh man i really messed up i'm not mad at him but i but i will say that uh i wouldn't trust myself with that job i know for a fact that if i had his job that would have happened way sooner yeah i just I just been like, oh. Oh, shit. Oh, uh-oh. Whoop, whoop, whoop.

I go on my personal Twitter. Hey, guys, I didn't mean it. Sorry, it's fake. Don't worry about it. Then people start doing, Ryan accidentally said a ballistics missile alert. Don't worry, guys. Famous YouTuber. Famous YouTuber.

Funny Let's Player accidentally triggers nuclear missile alert oh man but like they haven't done a test in la yet for like ballistic missiles we haven't gotten like a test alert yet you know yeah i like to see that we get those amber alert texts all the time they're not tests though yeah when someone when someone like uh when someone steals a kid we get our phone goes okay you get an Amber Alert for when a kid goes missing, but do you ever get an Amber Alert from when they find that kid? No, you never know.

That's an open, like, I hate that. That's why, like, when I go on Reddit and shit, and I see a GIF or I see an article about something like that that happened, and there's no follow-up and i have to search for it like there was this recent article of this woman that just went missing and i couldn't find any information of the resolution of it like to find the resolution it wasn't like it was going to be posted right then and there it was just i had to go searching for it be like okay this person

in this area this you know this person went person went missing. I want to figure out exactly what happened. It's not like a national news story when someone was missing. But it's just one of those things that had interested me because I became invested because I read about what this person's job was, the situation that it entailed. And it turns out they were just found at a Chick-fil-A. Oh, okay. She just was missing for a few days. I'm sure people, I don't know if it was some sort of fugue state or whatnot, but she was at some Chick-fil-A.

Well, I feel like a lot of times people don't really give a shit about the resolution if it's boring like that. I still want to know what happened. I just want to know the ending. I feel like people just don't really talk about it, though, if it's boring. They're like, oh, she's fine on Chick-fil-A. Okay. It's more fun if it's a mystery. It's like it'd be like oh my god the little girl was dismembered into several parts and

he made artwork out of her blood on the walls versus oh yeah they found her she's fine she was just she was eating a chick-fil-a yeah she's fine she's just having a chick-fil-a sandwich yeah it's just like it's like what story is it would you rather not rather but what story is more enticing to read about like what jumps out at you. Yeah.

You know what I like says something but it totally does. And what I think is like what what is so crazy to me because I used to go like look these up these cases

the cases of people that just vanished with no trace and were never found again that terrifies me because you're like what happened where did these people go there's so many famous cases of people that like just one day out of the blue just out of thin air just poof gone never find them ever not a trace there was this one case where it's like this woman she had a husband and like two kids, had a chill suburban life. And one day she just went missing for months and like she just disappeared off the map, gone completely. No one heard from her again, her kids, her husband.

It turns out she was like depressed and I think she was vulnerable and like possibly getting into drugs. And then she started befriending homeless people and they were like, just leave your life. Come with us. And she just went to be homeless and left her family without telling that. What?

Yeah. There's a story I read about on Reddit of this missing woman because it was a thread all about people who went missing who just go missing on their own and decide to just disappear like how easy is it for those people to disappear and how many of those people just decide to disappear and leave the life behind and that was one of the stories i was like oh crazy

that is like a pure mental breakdown that's insane did you did you do you think it would be like if you wanted to go missing, do you think you could pull it off without, like, a single trace? Like, if one day you were just like, you know what? Super Mega's no fun. I'm just gonna go missing. And you just decided to poof? Think you could do it? No, because

people on, just people would, you know how YouTube fans are. No, I mean, like, I'm talking about, like wanted to vanish out of like real life, like just go away. Into non-existence? No, like if you wanted to. No, what I'm saying is though there would be someone out there that would see me like a fan or something, take a picture from afar. Is this Ryan from Super Mega?

And then someone goes, wait a second, that actually is Ryan from Super Mega. I think you could pull it off. I think you just have to go to like a town in the middle of Nevada. I mean, I could pull it off. Just be like, all right, I'm missing now. I don't know how I'd make a living, but. You could. I could just move to that small bumfuck town.

What's it called? That's near Area 51. Rachel? Rachel, yeah. You could just grow potatoes or something, dude. Make money off of that. Yeah. Law enforcement's only 45 minutes away.

Yeah. So, see, no one's going to find you, man. It's all good. It's all good. What about, did you ever hear about that family? Like, it was a mom, a dad, and then they had some kids. And one day, they just upped and left their house. And the last footage of them was them crossing the border

into mexico and then they were just gone and then they were found like two years later buried in the desert what yeah what my numbers might be off on the time frame of that but did you ever hear about that no like uh this family vanished and when they found their house hold on let me let me let me look this up real quick because there's some uh yeah no problem just just uh look it up my bro this is this was crazy yeah okay the McStay family was an American family found murdered in the desert near Victorville California okay so they were found in California um but they disappeared from their home in Fallbrook California on February 4th 2010 and then they were found three years later, buried in the desert. And, oh, okay.

So there was an update. They arrested someone that was his business partner and intended to charge him with the murders. Yeah, but these guys just, like, this family just got in their car and just left. I mean, there's footage of them crossing the border. I mean, they weren't seen for three years. I mean, they were just found dead, buried in the desert. Like, that's crazy. And they also left so quickly that it said, like, when police got there, there were, like, bowls of food out on the counter.

Like, the TV was on, stuff like that. Like, they had, like, they left quick. Like, holy shit. I wonder if, like, they were involved in, like, drugs or something. That's what that sounds like. Like, they were wrapped up with some, like, cartelel thing and then they suddenly had to leave because someone was after them yeah like that's all i can think of why else would you just sounds like a breaking bad moment and then you get found that's 100 like a walter white skylar white yeah and especially being buried in

the desert white haha dude high five breaking bad just turned 10 years old that's insane a decade a decade old breaking bad's a decade old. It's an old show. It doesn't feel like it's an old show. It doesn't. It feels so new. Oh, man, that's crazy. What a good show, man.

I love it. I need to rewatch it. It's been so long now that I feel like I've forgotten enough about it where I can, like, sit down and rewatch it and fully enjoy it again. I honestly feel like I'm almost there. For me, I think 2019 is the year I watch Breaking Bad again because I haven't watched it since I watched the finale really when the finale came out I have

not seen a single episode since that and I because I've just been letting it just kind of sit because I remember there are moments that I still remember but I don't know it's just nothing's like the first time watching it I know I know but the thing about that show to me is it's so good and the rewatch ability is like so high that even if i did just watch it i

feel like i could watch it again and get as much enjoyment out of it as before 2019 is my year to go through breaking bad again you know i think i'll do it in the second half of 2018 yeah i'll give it a little more time won't think about it these thoughts slip from my head almost there but you know yeah i feel like the seasons that are that's darker to me are like two and three or like three yeah three's like i know a lot of stuff that happens in those seasons but i know everything that happens in season one six episodes simple and we all know what happens in the first and second half of the last season because it's just oh my god oh man such a good good rush that show is awesome and i'm sure there's a lot of people listening that have never watched it but all they hear is people raving about it and they're like god i'm so sick of this just like i haven't seen game of thrones but i always hear

everyone you know telling me to watch it like you need to watch this need to watch this so i will eventually i'll get around to it yeah Yeah, get ready to be disappointed. Yeah. It gets stupid. Just towards the end it gets stupid? To me, it gets stupid. Because Game of Thrones... I wasn't always a big fan of Lord of the Rings or medieval type

of fantasy movie stuff. I'm not either. It just was goofy. I just generally wasn't interested. Then I watched Game of Thrones and I'm like, oh, I'm not either. It just was goofy. I just generally wasn't interested. And then I watched Game of Thrones and I'm like, oh, I like this story.

The characters are fucked up. A lot of fucked up things are happening. Things I didn't expect. And I'm like, oh, this, it's actually a decent show. And then,

it started, as I've talked about this before, it started kind of going the whole Walking Dead route where it just started getting, it's starting to get a bit ridiculous. Yeah. yeah and even though the budget is higher i feel like they focused more on the characters when they didn't have that budget because

they couldn't show the battles it was more of like dialogue scenes between characters now there's still those dialogue scenes but now it's focusing on an army of dead um uh just medieval giant battles and shit like that it's like well i get it that these battles were big in the book when when a giant battle happens in the book it's not the same as something that happens on screen like when a battle happens on screen it's a it's just a no matter how good the fight is it's a lot of loud noise it's a lot to deal with big action sequence yeah um but in a book that action sequence is detailed so it doesn't feel like a bombardment yeah yeah you know what i mean that makes total sense yeah like and some of them like the earlier action sequences and battle scenes are really i really enjoyed them and some of the cinematography and choreography combined with the cinematography in the recent seasons it's great but i feel like they're starting to be a

a lack in purpose with a lot of scenes and they're it it feels like um they're they're pulling punches they're pulling punches. They're just pulling some punches on you, man. And I know everything can't be a twist. And I'm not looking for every season to have this big twist or big, what the fuck moment. But it's just starting to feel like your usual fantasy now. Because you have your big villain. You have your Jesus Christ hero character. You have your jesus christ hero character you have

your you have all that all that is now set in stone yeah and i you know that just may be ultimately what the show is leading up to but it's it's something that i wasn't interested at the start so since it's becoming that i feel like my interest is going down yeah man like i don't know like i i've i've never had an interest to watch it. The only thing that's pushed me to want to watch it is all my friends telling me, you should watch this. You should watch this. It's amazing. Seasons one through four are really good. But that's the thing. It's like a big show.

Like, long episodes. There's a lot of seasons. It's like, that's a big commitment for me to get into for something I'm not really interested in to begin with, you know? You know what show I can watch a million times, though? I can watch Arrested Development over and over. Yes. And Malcolm in the Middle. I can watch both of those though I can watch Arrested Development over and over yes and Malcolm in the Middle I can watch both of those shows on loop and The Simpsons all three of those shows

I can watch all of those on loop if I could get my own little TV channel that just played The Simpsons, Arrested Development and Malcolm in the Middle I'd be a happy boy I'd have to have a channel that had The Office probably Robot Chicken early Robot Chicken I don The Office. Probably Robot Chicken.

Early Robot Chicken. I don't even know Robot Chicken anymore. That was probably more of like middle school, high school Ryan. I loved it when I was in middle school. Yeah. Looking back at it today, I'm probably like, I want to switch this off. Just give me some. If I were to have a station, it would be The Office episodes, debates, live debates, some TED Talks. I just like conversational videos, just videos with people talking.

I don't like watching, quote-unquote, entertainment stuff that much on YouTube. I mainly go for debates or like 30 to 40 minute long discussion videos on certain topics. You don't watch the vlog squad? Um No. I thought you watched it every single day. I'm sorry. Matt, forgive me for I have sinned.

I do not watch the vlog squad. Man, this is one of those, we've talked about this, like how badly I wish I had a whip that I could whip things with and it would make the sound but it wouldn't hurt. So like right now I could whip out a whip and I could just right in the face, but it wouldn't hurt. It would just make the sound. How great would that be, man? Just having a whip.

So like when you tell me something like you don't watch Jake and Logan Paul every day and I get mad, I can pull out my whip and straight up just crack you right across the face and it wouldn't hurt. That'd be so funny. I know. straight up just crack you right across the face and it wouldn't hurt. That'd be so funny. I know. Can someone, can scientists out there, stop wasting your time on new medicines and technology and stuff. Please just focus on making a whip that doesn't hurt when you get whipped with it, but it

still makes the funny whip crack sound. That's all I want, man. That's all I want. What was that? Why'd you do that? I just had a very positive feeling. Oh, okay, cool. Overcome me.

I'm glad, dude. Give me a high five for that. You know what? Let's update this. You left a little voicemail for my mom on last week's episode. Did you talk to her about it? Nope. She never said a word about it.

She texted me the next morning and said, what do you want for your birthday? And that's the only, you know, we haven't really talked since then. The only explanation is that I was right and she's embarrassed to admit it and she doesn't want to talk about it. Oh, my God. That's all I'm saying. She's like, no, Ryan, that is not the explanation. I did get butterflies. I am flattered by Ryan saying I'm an attractive woman.

Well, I'm sure she's flattered. But and, you know, I'm I'm honored that Ryan would would do things to me. Oh, Ryan. Oh, my God. No. Fire a birthday card, dude, for her birthday. I'm not I'm not. But the term do things to me is so it's so overtly sexual. I can bleep it out. So it sounds like I said something worse. Please don't do that. Just leave it in. You're like, no, I don't want. Because if you beep it out, that sounds so bad. and my mom is gonna hear that probably and be like oh my god what did he say about me i don't like these things ryan's saying about me at first she was

flattered by the little the little voicemail yeah but but then but then she's like wow i i take it the butterflies have flown away i i see where ryan's mind is yeah she sees right in the gutter she she she wants a she wants a real, and I'm not that real man. I'm just a little boy. Yeah, you're just being profane, and my mom doesn't want that, man. Yeah. My mom wants someone who can be there for her, you know, take care of her. Look, different strokes, different folks.

You know, Ryan, if you ended up marrying my mother. I'd be your stepdad, yeah. You would. You'd have to respect me. ended up marrying my mother I'd be your stepdad yeah you would and um you'd have to respect me imagine that you're my stepdad now but you get like a huge like ego about it like Matt you have to

I'm not joking you have to respect me Ryan what can we just stay friends man like what why you I don't know if I could be your friend if you were my stepdad. It would just be such a weird dynamic. Yeah, we'd have a different relationship. You'd be my stepson. I'd be your stepson.

Yeah. Like, legally, I would be your stepson. And you'd have to start looking at me as a stepdad because I make your mom happy. And you have to respect... And you want your mom to be happy. Of course I want my mom to be happy. So if...

If... For your mom to be happy of course i want my mom to be happy so if if for your mom to be happy could you get used to me being with your mother for your mother's okay well like is that the only way my mom's gonna be happy the only way that i can see well but yeah but but maybe my mom can see a way she can be happy. That doesn't involve marrying you. Yeah, but that's not what I'm saying. Okay, so hypothetically, if my mom can only be happy in life. Like as a joke, I took her out to dinner one day. Just because you joked about it on the podcast so much.

You're like, oh, what if I actually did it? And then you did it and you guys fell in love. And she fell in love with me. I mean, I'd want to support my mom and I want my mom to be happy I see you give me that smile like I want my mom to be happy but

I okay I would let you and I would let my mom be happy but I wouldn't be able to talk to you anymore because it would just be too weird for me and I probably wouldn't be able to talk to my mom either it would just be too weird for me. Okay. And I probably wouldn't be able to talk to my mom either. Can I say that's your blessing? That is not my blessing, no.

Okay. Ryan, you have to earn my blessing from my mother, okay? It's going to take a while, okay? We're going to get in one of those big fights where I'm like, you're not even my real dad. Excuse me? I helped raise you. No, you didn't, Ryan Ryan I met you when I was 19

Yeah you lived under our roof No I didn't mine and yours You did help raise me though Ryan Ever since I was a small boy So I can stand on mountains I raised you up I don't know any of the other words to that song You raised me up

So I can stand on my own two. You raised me up. Dude, I just remembered one Christian song I listened to when I was a kid. It was called I'm Not Cool, That's Okay. It went,

I'm not cool, that's okay. My God loves me anyway. I'm not cool, that's just fine my god loves me all the time oh i'm not cool that's okay it basically went like that my favorite one of my favorite things about christian songs in general is how uninspired and how low effort the rhymes are. Yeah, for real, man. It's like the first word you think of. The music, too.

It's like, All I want to do is pray so I can find my way. Yeah, boom. That's what they would do. It's just super easy to just tag along with a Christian song. And I think that's the they would do it's just super easy to just tag along with a christian song and i think that's that's the positive thing about it you can just easily jump in and know exactly what's going on actually you know what that's probably by design that's probably the reason they're so simple and the the music is not intricate or anything so people can join in

you know because if you got this like crazy like chopin style piece, people aren't going to be like, how do I? I can't jam to this. But I do have to say, I think Christian rock might be one of my least favorite genres on this planet. Are you talking about the four chord Christian rock that all sounds the same with the same guy that always sounds like this? Surrounded by your glory. when will my heart feel? Will I dance for you, Jesus? Doing all we'll be gay. And I'll stand on a mountain. And I'll kill my only son.

And then you'll stop me and make me kill a goat. And circumcise my son. You could only imagine. I want to hear a version of that, but it's all like Old Testament stuff about like circumcision and like sacrificing goats and stuff. Back then, imagine someone coming up to a group of people going, hey, this big dude in the sky named God told me that I needed to cut the tip of my son's penis off. Like if someone came, came out today and just was like, hey, I know I seem like your average person, your average nobody, but I am a chosen person. And God says that we have to tattoo Jesus's initials on everyone's ball sack

I would not I wouldn't do it but it's the same thing as when Abraham was like I gotta cut my son's foreskin off and you should do it too because God says you're not allowed in heaven if you don't cut the tip of your penis off you know what baffles me

but that's Old Testament I think what baffles me about the circumcision thing in the bible is that he he you know he cut his son's foreskin off and then got more people to do it it's like a whole group of people and it became like mainstream to this day it still gets done millions of people do it like he started a trend man he started like like and it's not just any trend where you do something cool it's like a trend where you're cutting part of your penis off. That was like the fidget spinner back in the day. Circumcision was.

Check out this penis. See this? Got a little bit off the top. Yeah. I have this idea for a sketch where a guy walks into like a circumcision clinic, like a barbershop. He's like, can I get a little off the top? That's funny, right?

I can't remember if you've told that joke before or if I've seen that before. I've told you that before. Okay. I feel like a big man now Ryan. What? Saying that my jokes are just basic. I'm not saying they're basic. I just couldn't remember if you said it before. We're going to make this sketch. It's going to be the highest

budget like highest quality sketch. It's going to be 10 seconds of where a man walks into a circumcision barber shop. Starring Cuba Gooding Jr. Sure. I'd love to get him in it, dude. And Daniel Day-Lewis. Yes. Who's the one?

Who's the barber? Daniel Day-Lewis should be the barber because he looks like if you comb him back, he could be in like a barbershop quartet style type of guy. And then Cuba Gooding Jr. is getting the circumcision. Yeah. And then like in the background at the end, he goes, well, man, this looks good. And then you hear a voice. He goes,

at least it was better than mine. And it turns around. It's Heisenberg. But does he, and his, and his dicks out and the, just the whole tip is cut off. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. Cause you need to, you need to reveal. Half of his dick is cut off. But it's like that funny cutoff thing, you know, in cartoons when like a body parts chopped off, nothing bleeds or anything. It's just kind of like, it's like that funny cut off thing. You know in cartoons when like a body part's chopped off, nothing

bleeds or anything. Yeah, it's just cut off. It's a stump and it looks kind of like a steak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's got like the bone and everything. That'd be funny. Dude, I... What was I gonna say? Something stupid. Yeah, definitely something stupid. You know there's like legit just circumcision

videos on YouTube? Like you can just look up videos of people getting circumcised on YouTube and it's there. Have you ever done that? I've, I've come across them in my, in my browsing, but I've never, uh, I haven't like purposely looked them up, you know, but you can just find, are you looking them up right now? Uh, no, I, I do not want to see that actually. Yeah. It's there, there, there are circumcision videos, guys.

So go have fun with that today. Oh, that was done to me as a little baby. They cut my little dick. They was a child. They sliced it right off. Whoa. Was that conversation stupid or what? I'm Ryan from the distant future of when you were just last listening to whatever we cut into.

Um, this is almost the end of the podcast anyways. Almost. I have to get going soon because I have to go get a haircut like really soon. And, uh, sorry for a bit of a shorter podcast this week, guys. I gotta go run to get a to meet a hair appointment, but thanks. We'll see you next week. Bye! By the way, remember

to go to kibs.com slash supermega if you think you're gonna be balding soon. Okay. Okay.