supermegashow - EP 81 - Old Dinos
Episode Date: March 5, 2018So today, we're talking about Dwayne, dinosaurs and our justice system. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
Transcript
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Yo, yo, yo.
It's Super Megacast, episode 81. Yo, yo, yo. it's Super Megacast, episode 81.
Yo, yo, yo, it's the realest podcast you've ever fucking heard.
Yo, yo, yo.
How y'all doing?
It's your boy, Matt.
And who am I here on the couch with?
Backthroat Ryan.
Backthroat Ryan?
Yeah, because I talk out of the back of my throat.
Oh, yeah, you gotta talk out of the back of your throat to talk.
Whoa, but I never thought about that. You gotta, like, shift your voice to the back of my throat. Oh, yeah, you got to talk out of the back of your throat to talk. Whoa, but I never thought about that.
You got to like shift your voice to the back of your throat.
Isn't that cool?
That's cool.
Humans are awesome.
You know who's even more awesome in regards to vocal talent?
Who?
Whales and sea mammals.
Sea mammals like?
Well, just pretty much whales and dolphins.
Because whales can scream at such a distance.
Is that what they're doing?
They're screaming? It's a loud sound that they're making with their throat and it's going
miles and miles. So in my book, that's a scream. And before we get into the juicy meat of today's
podcast, I'd like to take a moment of silence for our troops. Well, yeah, I would like to do that.
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and now for that moment of silence
the troops? yes
can you do a dolphin sound effect?
I can try
I don't think I've ever tried to make a dolphin sound
so this will be the first time I've ever tried in my life
ok go
dude that was perfect was that good? did that sound make a dolphin sound, so this will be the first time I've ever tried in my life. Okay, go. All right. Yeah.
Dude, that was perfect.
Was that good?
Did that sound like a dolphin?
That sounded like a SpongeBob dolphin hybrid.
I used to be able to, I could try SpongeBob's laugh.
Yeah.
See, perfect.
Is that good enough?
Tom Kenny, you're out of a job.
Yo, Tom Kenny, I'm about to replace him.
If Matt can do SpongeBob's voice, then why do they need to be paying you?
And, you know, again, shout out to Tom Kinney's son, who occasionally watches Super Mega.
He might have grown out of it. He might have been like, you know, these guys have said so many crude things about my father.
Made fun of his future death.
Which he brought up himself.
Mac Kinney, Tom Kinney's son.
Brought up his dad's death?
No, no.
He brought up the fact that in some AMA, he brought up that, you Kinney, Tom Kinney's son. Brought up his dad's death? No, no. He brought up the fact that in some AMA he brought up that, you know,
he's like, I don't want to know what they say about my dad.
Because I don't even
remember. We've said some pretty
bad shit about Tom Kinney. Yeah.
But it's out of love?
Yeah, of course. Dude, I love Tom Kinney.
Except his Wikipedia
picture looks like his face was like Photoshopped
onto his body.
There's something weird with the lighting.
I tweeted this out a while back.
Like, it looks real weird.
Like, the lighting on his face is opposite from the lighting on his body.
I can't explain it.
Go look at it.
I liked him as one of the gangster robots in Transformers 2.
He was in Transformers 2?
Yeah, but he talks like this and he has gold chains and teeth and shit.
Really?
Yeah.
He was in Camp Lazlo.
Remember that cartoon?
Yeah, I didn't like it.
I was never a big fan.
I could watch it, but I was never a big fan.
And you know what show I honestly was never really that into?
Brickle Berry.
Brickle Berry was bad.
I watched like one episode.
I couldn't do it.
I only watched it because I was like, oh, Daniel Tosh is in this.
He's like, what?
What?
Daniel Tosh is epic.
And then I watched it and I was like, wow, this is, I'm not a big fan of this show.
It's not very good.
And then like, what else was he in?
He was in something else.
Daniel Tosh?
No.
He was in Love Guru.
Aaron said that, Aaron was saying that he watched the Love Guru recently and he was
like, you know, it does not, I could see why it would end Mike Myers
career like he just disappeared off the face
of the earth after that well that's because
he's been traveling to Africa
a lot to like work on like
building shelters and stuff oh shit well I was
that's false could you imagine
I was about to say like here I am insulting the man's
acting and then he's
actually off doing some like amazing
benevolent thing well he did try
to raise money at was it when was that after hurricane katrina yeah with kanye west yeah we
talked about that this is super early back in the day in like the super mega but that's one of my
favorite just things to watch every now and then you go back and watch it george bush doesn't care
about black people he's like i remember they just face. He's like, oh, they just cut.
They cut to something else.
Fucking Austin Powers and Shrek just speechless.
Man, I forgot Mike Myers voiced Shrek and he was Austin Powers.
He really, there was a period in the early 2000s.
Yeah, dude, he had it in his, like, in the bag.
And then he just, was it the love guru that
ultimately doomed him well i mean comedy changed and his style of comedy wasn't just like you know
how you don't see any goofy jim carrey movies anymore i know you could say that's because he
doesn't want to act but you know liar liar worked really well because in the time that was funny the
comedy worked in the time and then he comes out with mr popper's penguins that didn't do too to a hot or even yes man uh wasn't even a good movie but it
it harkened back to a movie such as liar liar yeah like his early days of jim carrey i wonder
if that kind of like goofy early 2000s comedy will ever make a comeback like as a uh as a
nostalgia thing yeah you know how uh amblin film stuff is kind of
coming back into the works through stranger stranger things and um yeah just in general
80s nostalgia yeah i wonder well i don't know i feel like goofy 2000s nostalgia doesn't doesn't
like have the same charm as like 80s nostalgia? I mean, Johnny English is getting a third movie. What?
Yeah.
With Mr. Bean?
Yeah.
I'm not going to lie, man.
Mr. Bean's Holiday, phenomenal movie, man.
You always say that.
It's good.
It's a good movie.
I saw it with my dad and I can't remember hating it.
It's a feel good movie. I watch it and I'm like, this is a beautiful story of a mentally challenged man finding
his way to the beach.
I need to watch it again.
Was there a point where he was like beautiful story of a mentally challenged man finding his way to the beach. I need to watch it again. Was there a point where he was, like, on top of a bus?
Probably.
You know, knowing Mr. Bean.
Yeah.
Goofy Mr. Bean.
You never know what he's up to.
He needs, like, a keeper, doesn't he?
Like, wouldn't you think, like, as an adult, Mr. Bean would need a keeper?
Like, they bring him out in a cage and, like, they train him for movies and then they let him out.
Go, Mr. Bean, go.
He's not even an actor.
Like, that's really who he is.
No, like, he's actually a really good actor.
He's just doing what, like, he's doing method acting.
Like Daniel Day-Lewis.
I have to become the Bean.
He hits himself in the head with a hammer several times each morning. My favorite case of method acting by a well-renowned actor was the kid from Even Stevens who played Bean.
Beans.
Beans, yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
He really, he, apparently he went out into the woods and spent about two weeks without a tent or anything just to encapsulate the character, which is interesting.
Wow. Yeah. What a crazy thing to do for Even stevens yeah he's i mean he's a cool kid
now he's uh directing just kind of like low indie style films like about race relations and stuff
he's he's he's an interesting fellow i do have to say i met him twice yeah very very weird guy
yeah i i've never met him but we talk on skype occasionally yeah he's sweet he's sweet though
where is the line with us where is the line of lies dumbness and jokes well honestly i didn't
know if you were telling the truth or not with that whole that whole thing i was like is ryan
is ryan bullshitting me did he really spend two weeks in the woods for even stevens to become
beans i was like at the age of like seven well maybe, maybe it was for like the movie where they're trapped on
a desert island. I liked the
Even Stevens movie. I really did. The only
parts that I didn't like when I was a young kid were
the sister with the
hunk dude. Because I was like,
because whenever the hunk dude appeared, I was like,
I'm not attracted to him. I don't know. What am I
supposed to be doing? But I realize now it's like, that's
for the young girls watching Disney. Yeah.
Like for me, like whenever those scenes popped up and I'm like, nothing is happening.
I'm not learning anything besides that.
You know, he's a, he's a troubled, struggling actor with a lot of depth who has to make
the decision of love or money.
Absolutely.
I could, you could probably take like a, they could make a college course on even Stevens.
Yeah.
Do you think that, um, am I the only one that was like freaked out by the
intro like the theme song to even stevens scared the everly the claymation stuff yeah it was so
scary to me i don't know why like it freaks me still to this day if i watch it it makes me feel
bad to me it made me feel like i was watching a much more mature show than it was and if you look
back at even stevens it is one of the most immature shows it is um but some reason, that feeling, it's like the same feeling you got when watching South
Park.
It's that crudeness in animation where you're like, hmm, this isn't bubbly like Disney stuff
usually is.
Yeah, it was crude.
You know how Lizzie McGuire was super bubbly, like little 2D cartoon popping up.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Falls in love in Rome and then gets betrayed and then has to sing her heart out.
Dude, I remember the Lizzie McGuire movie.
She's on a moped with some guy or something.
Am I making that up?
Is that in the movie?
She friend zones Gordo throughout the whole thing.
I think he gets a kiss at the end.
Poor Gordo, man.
I don't think that translates back into the show.
I don't think they ever become a couple.
She's just teasing him, man.
Gordo probably had the biggest case of blue balls in history.
Oh, yeah.
Poor Gordo, man.
He had that early 2000s, like, cross between a perm and just young kid hair.
It was just curly and poofy.
Just kind of, it's kind of like, like, if he had it now, you'd be like,
what is that?
What are you doing, man?
My favorite Disney Channel thing was learning that the uh brother from hannah montana was like
30 or 40 years old i was like excuse me yeah and um fuck dude you know like going back to method
acting real quick are there like movie scenes where characters have to be drunk i was watching
super bad recently and i was thinking like man the the party scene like they're really convincingly
drunk yeah do you do you
think like a lot of actors in scenes where they have to be drunk do you think they ever actually
get drunk for those scenes to like make it more real that's difficult because that could impede
your performance but it also could help i think the way it would help a performance is if the
script was not the script but the movie in general was more improv based allowing the
actor's character to kind of come out through the drunkness but if you're trying to be a character
and you're drunk then i think that your personal kind of uh your personal being will leak into the
character a little oh that's true yeah that's totally true but like for stuff like super bad
where they're improvving pretty much the whole movie,
I mean, I'm sure maybe they were drunk.
I'm sure some of them were high during the shooting of it.
I mean, knowing all of them.
Seth Rogen.
Yeah.
Seth Rogen movie.
Definitely.
I mean, Pineapple Express, dude.
I have not seen Pineapple Express.
That sticky, icky marijuana, dude.
Dude, don't you ever say the words marijuana on this podcast, Ryan.
I'm sorry.
You're going to get us demonetized. You're going to get all of our brand, our
advertisers to pull out. Prop
648?
What is it? Prop whatever. Prop 420.
Ha. No, for real.
Like, I think that one of the marijuana
laws was like Prop 420.
Where? Here? Here in California. When?
Like recently. Oh, I thought that was like
Prop 60-something. There was some
marijuana thing that they actually like labeled 420 oh angie has made it easier than ever to connect with
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Play the air horns, right?
Excited for all those good action movies coming out on 420.
Is 420 like a Friday this year?
Yeah, well, Adam from YMS uploaded an image.
He's like, interesting release date.
And it was a picture of the release date of Rampage, the new future hit blockbuster from Dwayne the Rock Johnson, where they're fighting big monsters.
Dude, he is, like.
We played Rampage.
We did.
We liked it.
It's a good game.
Yeah.
I feel like Dwayne the Rock Johnson, like, there's got to be some global conspiracy where he must have blackmail on like every big Hollywood producer.
And he's like, all right, put me in your movies now or else I'll release it.
It's like a Tom Cruise case where Hollywood picks this one person to pamper up.
Yeah.
You know how, you know, there was the also you think of Robert Downey Jr., how he came back from I'm surprised he was able to come back.
I don't think he could come back today
in the kind of political climate of today.
I don't think Robert Downey Jr.
could do the comeback he did back in 2008.
Wait, what'd he come back from?
Being drunk and drugs and all that shit.
Oh yeah, that's right.
I forgot.
Like hookers, I think.
Forgot he had a little rough phase.
Yeah, and then he came back with Iron Man,
which was a super interesting choice
by Marvel or whatever executive. I don't know if Favreau made the decision little rough phase yeah and then he came back with iron man which was a super interesting choice by
marvel or whatever executive i don't know if the favreau made the decision or if there was like
more of the casting director but damn that saved his career and then he became one of the he became
the top most paid actor but now it's of course duane the rock johnson like but the thing about
duane the rock johnson is like i i mean i know the man, but he seems like such a nice guy.
I'd be like, I could.
You say that and then every now and then he'll post a video on Instagram where he's like, he'll be like, hold on one second.
Then he'll go up to like a group of fans and like kind of be like, haha, and like smile at the camera.
And like he'll pay 50% of his attention is to the camera.
And then 50% of it.
No, sorry.
Like I'd say 60 to 70% of the time his eyes is to the camera and then 50 percent of the no sorry like i'd say 60 to 70
percent of the time his eyes are at the camera and then the 30 percent or whatever is down at this
kid or fan and he always films himself like stopping to greet fans and stuff and i'm like
okay or you could just do it but i mean you know what maybe it's just like, hey, don't feel bad to stop me.
I'll stop for anyone.
And you'll be famous for it.
Yeah.
For like a day.
He's got to have a good public face.
His PR people are probably like, Dwayne, please film this.
So I was in an Uber actually.
With Dwayne The Rock Johnson?
Oh my God, I wish.
Dude, I'm sure he'll be in some movie where he's like a goofy taxi driver, like an Uber driver.
It's got to happen.
Well, he's going to become the Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger throwback thing.
When he's old, he's going to be making like the Expendables type of thing.
Expendables 86.
Yeah.
Dude, but my Uber driver, I don't remember how we got on this topic, but we're talking about Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
And he was like, oh, man, he's so big.
And I was like, yeah, I think he's Samoan.
And then there was like a pause.
He's like, so are Samoans big?
And then I was just like, I think, yeah, I think they tend to be like larger.
Larger people.
Just larger people, like more muscular, like just bigger.
And he's like, huh, I didn't know that.
It was just like a long pause. And I i was like why did it get so awkward that either sounds like he just figured
something out like he was about to go fuck with some samoans and then he's like shit he's like
shit i gotta rethink this attack strategy he was gonna go like a samoan just like prep play some
pranks on him he's gonna go to like a samoan like uh Boy Scouts meeting but they're all like as large as
Dwayne The Rock Johnson but they're 15 years old yeah probably I feel like like a Samoan 14 year
old could kick my ass you know like put me like okay give me like like let me work out for three
months straight nothing but protein and give me like dual swords and then put me in the ring with
like two Samoans two Samoan 14 year olds and they'll still kick my ass.
If you're going to fight a Samoan, you need to put a big long tree branch over the diameter
of a volcano.
And then you give each of you two giant ear, what are they called?
I know what you're talking about.
The big, the big, it's like a big Q-tip.
Yeah.
Like just big giant Q-tips and you all got to battle it out.
And it's like a battle to the death thing.
If you fall into the volcano, you lose, of course.
Yeah, because you die.
You don't win.
Have you ever seen a video of like what it would look like if you fell into lava?
Isn't it just like it explodes because of the water and shit in your body?
It's terrifying.
I watched some video where they threw like the corpse of a pig for science into a volcano.
It doesn't just sink into lava.
No, it hits it and the lava explodes and erupts.
It's very violent.
Falling into lava would not be a fun way to die because I don't think it would be instant.
I don't think it's like, all right, I'm dead.
I feel like you would live for maybe like 10 seconds, but it wouldn't be a fun 10 seconds.
Unless you dive head first.
That's true.
Maybe like 10 seconds, but it wouldn't be a fun 10 seconds. Unless you dive head first.
That's true.
I don't know.
Then there might, there's still like a five second period of, no, at least a two second
period of it going to your skull.
I don't know, man.
Nerve endings apparently take like 11 seconds to burn off if you're on fire.
Like this is different.
This is molten fucking magma.
That's true.
Fire, fire's hot, but, but, but magma.
This is a completely different scenario.
Lava is one of my,
I want to see lava so bad.
I've always wanted to see it.
I'm afraid I'll trip and fall into it.
Like I'm looking down,
accidentally sneeze,
lose my balance,
and go to catch myself with my hands.
Hands first.
Ugh.
Yeah.
Then there's just little nubs
and I lose my hands
and then my whole life is shit.
You couldn't be a Let's player
if you had no hands, right?
No, I couldn't play any,
well, I mean, I could be a Let's Commentator.
I could commentate you playing games.
Ryan, well, here's the good news.
You could play all the games on Super Mega.
Let me rethink that, bro.
The good news is you could still do this podcast
if you lost both your hands.
Yes, I could.
You know, this is a great podcast.
You don't use your hands for the podcast.
All you need is that witty brain of yours and that big pie hole. Yes, I could. You know? You know, this is a great podcast. You don't use your hands for the podcast.
All you need is that witty brain of yours.
Yeah.
And that big pie hole.
That big old pie hole.
You got to, you know, those flapping lips, you know?
Don't let them stop flapping, buddy.
Keep flapping those lips.
Dude, thanks, Dad.
Of course.
Of course, sport.
Thanks.
I'm going to go out and fucking show the world that I'm the best podcaster ever.
Yo, man. Give me a fist fist a bro fist me man you know how there's emotional paintings of
Jesus and like like when we were in 2000s like modern day like on a let's just say an example
I don't think this one exists but him on a park bench with like some sad man like business suits
or something or just with some kid on a beach or whatever yeah just
like modern day jesus except he's wearing his traditional garb and he's white yeah he's got
a wide yeah white and blue or green i don't know i think blue is beautiful with jesus though oh
absolutely that's supple white skin that nice arian jesus arian jesus would make a great like
album name that's the jesus i grew up on that's old school Jesus
he was just some like
some like brown middle eastern man
he was not white
he came here tried to do a good thing
for the Jewish people
what did they do Ryan
well they said no no no and threw him up
on some sticks
they pinned the Christ on the cross
yep
they played human Jenga no, no, and threw them up on some sticks. They played Pin the Christ on the cross. Yep.
They played human Jenga.
Like any little youth group Bible study had like a
party and they played like, instead of Pin the Tail on the
Donkey, but they played it with like a cross and Jesus.
And they didn't realize what they were doing. Pin the Jesus
on the cross. Yeah.
Oh, he's upside down.
No, apparently they would crucify people upside down too.
Oh, that's because it's
uh more torture more torturous because of the blood flow to the brain and shit like that but
i want to see i want to see like a well-done oil painting of kind of like a millennial holding like
their phone you can see they're kind of on snapchat and this is a beautiful oil painting
and they're on santa monica pier some shit or Venice Beach Boardwalk, and Jesus.
And this kid has a tear running down his face.
Or you don't even see the kid's face.
He's just looking up at Jesus.
So you just know it's that kid.
That's the emotional thing,
because you put yourself in that kid's perspective.
I used to be that kid.
This is what these millennials will think in the future
when they see this painting.
And it's Jesus, and he's just standing there.
And it's one of those, what do you call it, where you can move it.
It's not holographic.
Hologram?
I guess it's a hologram type thing.
You know where you move and it changes?
Yeah.
It's like an oil painting, but with that effect, because future technology,
we can make art out of anything.
It's the future, baby.
You can do whatever you want.
Yeah, exactly.
3D print that shit.
There's no rules.
And he goes from just looking at the kid and he goes, dab.
And he dabs.
Jesus dabs?
Jesus dabs at the kid.
And then the kid smiles in the third wave form of the holograph.
I feel like that's a good kind of testament of our time.
That would be, I could see that being put in like the highest art museum
I could see them taking down the Mona Lisa
throwing it in the trash and then putting that
painting up instead. You gotta throw the Mona Lisa in the trash
the only reason it's popular is because it's an old
painting. You know how many good artists
exist today that are just as good if not better
but don't get the credit because artists
anyone can do it now. Exactly
why is the Mona Lisa so famous?
cause it's
there's a million people that could paint that shit today get rid of it throw it away throw it's like why is why is the mona lisa so famous because it's it you know i
like like there's a million people that could paint that shit today get rid of it throw it
away throw in the trash burn it i think my favorite old painting uh is what is it called
it's the one with the guy in the pitchfork with his wife oh yeah i know i forgot what it's called
but he's like he's in front of the barn with his angry looking wife it's like he's very unhappy in
his marriage he's holding a pitchfork.
I like that and poker dogs or whatever it's called.
Oh yeah, the dogs playing cards.
That's a good one.
That one's fun.
Like I like that.
That's a good classic painting because it's like, you know, this shit's not boring.
It's not like a woman with a blank face staring at me.
It's some dogs playing poker.
And it's funny because dogs can't play poker.
They don't have opposable thumbs they don't know how
poker works do you think back when all this
stuff was being painted it's the dogs
playing poker were the Marvel Cinematic
Universe of that era and the Mona Lisa
was like the indie film not the indie film
but stuff like Mona Lisa was like that's a true artist
that's that's like the
Requiem for a
Dream and shit like that
yeah people lost their shit for dogs and poker.
It's just like,
Oh,
but,
but you don't remember this old shit.
Mona Lisa.
Come on.
There's like,
and there were like different like fan bases for these different types of
paintings.
Yeah.
Yeah,
dude.
When,
when,
when did fan bases start coming around?
Like,
was that,
I know it was it always attached to entertainment i'm not talking about just like
political fandomness i'm talking about you know i mean entertainment fandom yeah like like hardcore
fan well i think like i love you oh my god like that not a this person's right and this person
will always be right i mean that kind of they bleed in together but there's a difference i think
i think uh earliest i could think of stuff like
the beatles and like early rock bands yeah like that elvis elvis yeah and then i think the internet
revolutionized it and made it easy for those people to like congregate now anyone can be an
elvis anyone can be an elvis dude does that does that just make entertainers less special now or
do you think it makes them like more special because now it's this thing that like anybody can do and it's this open free market it makes it more special i think it's cool
yeah um i mean that the coolest thing to me about the internet is like anybody can because like back
in the day if you wanted to be a musician you know you'd have to like go to a record company
and you'd have to actually want it you'd have to sell your soul now any any talentless like you and me can
just go to a guitar center pick up whatever they think looks shiny and nice and then learn some
chords play wonderwall on youtube play the first dude i i actually like that stereotype of the
college freshman that goes out in the quad and plays four chords that's true i saw that oh it
happened all the time at usc especially in the horseshoe or like you'll be at a party and some guy will pull out an acoustic
guitar and you're like ah damn it that happened more at youth group than at college oh my god
yeah dude some kid whip out the guitar and i'd be like everyone would sit around it's like
fuck how do i how do so to combat that i would uh make my own little interesting lesson plans
and then when we go on a retreat I would take some kids who wanted to,
and I'd be like, hey, let's learn about Jesus.
And I'd be like, share interesting facts.
I'm like, did you know there's references
to dinosaurs in the Bible?
Are there?
Just depending on what interpretation.
The Bible's all interpretation, you know what I mean?
It's completely interpretation.
So you can take it as,
you can take it as a dinosaur, but you can also take it as an elephant.
It's a behemoth.
They call it a behemoth in like water monsters.
Could have been like a Samoan.
Yeah.
Could have been Dwayne the Rock Johnson.
They could have discovered Samoa.
Dude, if Jesus looked like Dwayne the Rock Johnson, we're back on him again.
You can't get off of him.
He's too big to climb down too quickly.
So we're on his knees. We're almost off him off we're on our way off doing the right so but like
he should play jesus have you seen how he looks in hercules that live action hercules movie that's
how he should look but for jesus i would 100 go see an action-packed jesus movie no one's made
that have they jesus christ superstar that's a that okay what about
dwayne the rock johnson how he was in the mummy as jesus that like terrible cg whatever he was
are they crucifying like his like jesus in this in this telling has like a scorpion body and shit
so like the cross instead of being in a cross it just looks more like a like a railroad track
like a phone tower
with the different planks for each legs and shit
and then his long little
what is it called
stinger could be pinced on the bottom of the cross
dude scorpions are terrifying
and real quick let's get back to dinosaurs
oh yeah
can you believe that
this planet like where we are
right now like was ruled by these massive alien things an unfathomable amount of time ago too
like it wasn't just like oh thousands of years ago giant no millions million and then like some
dinosaurs we think existed in the same period like some dinosaurs existed
millions of years apart
like different periods in
Cretaceous all that
like I think the T-Rex was
I don't completely
I might be wrong but like the T-Rex and the
Stegosaurus
I was about to say the Stegosaurus too which leads me to believe you and I
came to almost the same conclusion which means
it has more of a possibility of being right
because it wasn't when you said it it was that you said it
that reaffirmed me going okay i was about to say stegosaurus yeah yeah so it could be it could be
but so look it up folks two dinosaurs existed farther apart from each other than we did from
like the t-rex or something yeah it's like that's crazy to me well it took a long time for nature to get its shit together and go, hey, humans.
Humans are a thing now.
Yeah, we appeared in, like, so recently in history.
And then we dominated the world and also fucked it up real bad.
We had our fucking heads held high.
And we're just like, it's human time, baby.
Dude, it's human time.
Enough of them lizards.
Well, they all got fucking destroyed, so.
Did some monkey just get lucky and then just
be like hey i'm a i'm a human now some here i am some deformed monkey fucked a non-dominant
monkey and then the dominant genes of the deformed monkey passed on passed on i say deformed but
there's an actual scientific word for it what is it like a uh not it's right right what is it ryan just described
his birth i'm sorry this is the exception but uh genetic mutation yes mutation mutation but i just
say deformity because it is deformed compared to what's going on yeah it's it's a mutation it's not
normal dude evolution's so cool like genetics are really cool i remember learning about that in high school and being like this is so cool like dna like what the fuck dna is so
mind-blowing and intricate it's like code that's in your body that makes up everything that you are
yeah you know like it's like it's like uh clouds are 90 water watermelons are 90 water they must
have come from the same thing right absolutely yeah clouds have the same d water. Watermelons are 90% water. They must have come from the same thing, right?
Absolutely.
Clouds have the same DNA as watermelons.
There's a little running bit back from my junior year.
Give him a shout out, man.
I don't want to say his name.
Well, I'm sure he listens to it.
His wife taught me math, though.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
His wife taught you math?
Yeah, taught me math, how to count in high school.
All right, Ryan. what comes after two?
I don't like calculus.
This is algebra, Ryan.
This isn't even algebra.
This is like geometry.
This is the most basic of maths.
What comes after two?
I didn't like geometry.
That's not, it's three, by the way.
I'm not avoiding the subject.
What was your favorite math?
Geometry.
Yeah, really?
Yeah. I thought it was obnoxious. I was the best atometry. Yeah, really? Yeah.
I thought it was obnoxious.
I was the best at it.
Maybe because it's visual.
Is long division under algebra?
Dude, you love your long division, man.
I love long division.
For your birthday, I'm going to get you like a long division workbook.
Just get me a workbook where on each page is a blank template where it's just like the
long division thing.
And then on each page, I can just fill in the numbers the way I want.
That's like something like...
Well, I'd solve the problems. I'm not just going to throw
numbers in there. Well, I will, but for the
start of the problem. Dude, I gotta see you do some
long division. Like, you've talked about it a lot. Like, are you
some savant with long division? Well, it's
super easy. Are you gonna, like,
am I gonna sit... It's not hard. Am I gonna
sit you down with like, alright Ryan, do some long division.
You're gonna be like solving these like massive numbers
in three seconds. Like, carry
the one. I just liked long division because of how much work it looked like you were doing essentially
like you look like some genius badass but you're just like yeah oh and you can add decimal so you
can get down to the decimal point with that shit you're like oh like michael jackson yeah
imagine michael jackson doing long division That's how he got his start.
He did it live on stage.
And then he did the moonwalk afterwards in celebration.
There's like a whiteboard.
And he's like, he's got some chalk.
He's like, ow!
And he's spinning around and grabbing his crotch.
Carry the two!
Put the decimal point!
Ow!
Back out a hundred!
Ow!
And he'd grab his crotch out of sexual excitement.
Long Division would get him real riled up. That's why he liked kids.
He wanted to teach them the joy of Long Division. He didn't want to sleep
with kids. No. I mean, he did sleep
with kids. He did. He didn't
necessarily have sex with, but
he did. He admitted to sleeping
with kids. He did sleep with kids because they're innocent
little creatures. That's the problem with saying like
sleep with something. You could sleep with a girl
and you literally just slept with her.
Did you sleep with her, dude?
Yeah, I slept with her.
I didn't have sex with her.
Her feet were where my head were because she didn't want
our faces to be in the same area.
I mean, she was staying at my place
so I did have to wash my pillowcases
because her feet were on my pillowcases.
But yeah, I slept with her.
You don't want to get that foot fungus.
Oh my god, I recently discovered a meme
that I actually think is hilarious. It's the newest meme, man. You don't want to get that foot fungus. Oh my God. I recently discovered a meme that I actually think is hilarious.
Uganda Knuckles?
It's not.
It's the newest meme, dude.
It's almost as funny as Uganda Knuckles.
Went in VR chat the other night.
Do you know the way?
Do you know the way?
Good shit.
Are just a bunch of kids doing it now?
Yes.
Just kids.
I want to see this.
You said they just spam it.
They just say it over and over and over again.
Do you know the way?
Do you know the way?
Do you know the way? Do you know the way? Yeah. That's really funny man that's that's our future generation yeah it's great hey we did
stupid shit you were on a tangent though continue i was talking about there's one of these top 15
videos from one of these like weird channels and i gotta show it to you top 15 louis ck phone calls
of all time no can i masturbate in front of you? Number one
will surprise you. It's
like top 4chan mysteries that were solved
and the video starts
and... Hello, these are the top
4 4chan mysteries.
They haven't been solved. It's this
guy and his voice is literally
like, number 15
Burger King foot lettuce.
He's like, the whole you hear him in the mic just
Number 14
Like dude
Hold on
I gotta play this real quick
He's like blowing his nose off camera
Does he sound like a bro?
No
He sounds like there's something wrong with him
What?
Here
I'll just search the words
You're just making fun of the dude for his voice?
Yeah
Look Burger King foot lettuce
Here listen to this
His voice is goofy Burger King foot lettuce. Here, listen to this. His voice is goofy.
Burger King foot lettuce.
The last thing you'd want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus.
But as it turns out,
That's on purpose.
That's not.
A 4chan-er uploaded a photo anonymously to the site.
Pause it real quick.
That reminds me of that cooking guy that I found where whenever he talked,
he would talk like this because it sounded like he recorded every line separately from the other because it'd
be like first you want to take the lobster and then you want to open the lobster and then you
want to suck out the juices of the lobster because you're with your foreskin because when you work
what when you record uh like voice lines you record, like, voice lines separately,
you miss, like, the natural flow and cadence
of, like, the way it would normally be said.
But I...
Burger King foot lettuce.
It's like...
He's reading off of a teleprompter
that does, like, one letter at a time.
But it's going fast.
Foot lettuce.
He has to give his brain enough time to catch up.
The last thing you want in your burger is foot fungus.
But as it turns out, that might be what you get.
Shout out to whoever that top.
He has like two million subs.
Shit, man.
What?
I just remembered.
What'd you remember?
I left the heat on.
Oh.
Oh.
Ryan!
I guess it's cold out, so it's cool.
It's pretty cold out.
Like LA's been cold
recently.
But like leaving my
heat on for
monetary reasons.
Eight hours.
Yeah that's
I'm sure would be
expensive.
Oh well.
Little Lego's gonna
be burned to a crisp
when you get home.
Oh he's fine.
He's gonna be a
tiny little
little cooked pup.
That's why he has
his fur.
He can get air
go through and it
works like a little
fan of his.
What?
That's how dogs
cool off.
The air goes through their fur in a way where it cools them off.
Really?
Yeah.
Their fur works as like a air conditioning type thing.
Like an insulation system?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Order up for Damien.
Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way?
Did you ask about Rebelsis?
Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today.
Did you say Rebelsis?
My dad's been talking about Rebelsis.
Rebelsis? Really?
Yeah, he says it's a pill that...
Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me.
Rebelsis.
Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca.
Order up for Rebelsis.
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Are you fucking with me, Ryan?
No, no, no.
Is this a Ryan McGee lie?
Mm-mm.
I can see it in your eyes.
You're lying to me.
I'm not lying to you, I promise.
I looked it up because I was like,
my dog, my dog hot.
My dog hot.
That search result could either be like,
your dog is like too hot temperature-wise
or you think your dog is hot.
Yeah, exactly.
Like my dog's hot. You know what? Can I go check to see if lunch is here? Dude, go check you think your dog is hot yeah exactly like my dog's hot
you know what can I go check to see if lunch is here
dude go check to see if lunch is here
let's take a little podcast break
you got a little segment it's called
Matt's like 30 second
story time
your topic is
what's my topic
a middle eastern god meets an American magician.
Okay.
So Ryan has given me the prompt of a Middle Eastern God meets an American magician.
Okay.
Well, American magicians are always goofy white guys.
So I'm sure there's a great opportunity for some kind of cultural misunderstanding here.
So a Middle Eastern God appears in front of an American magician.
And the American magician goes, whoa, what is this?
Some kind of magic?
And he goes, oh, yeah, wait, magic's not real because I'm a magician.
And I of all people know that magic's fake because everything I do is an illusion.
And then the Middle Eastern god goes, no, no, no, this is real magic.
I am from Middle Eastern heaven.
Is your story done?
Is food here?
Did you end it?
Not yet.
Can you wrap it up?
I'll wrap it up.
I'll wrap it up right now.
And then he takes the magician,
and he takes them on up to Middle Eastern heaven.
They eat falafel, and they have a great time together.
It's got to be hummus.
And the magician does this crazy card flourish
for the Middle Eastern god.
And the Middle Eastern god
gives him a seat on his throne
because it was so fucking cool.
In Middle Eastern heaven.
Okay, that's my...
Hey, Ross, what's up?
I walked in the room
and I didn't know
you were recording anything.
Well, I look at the screen, Ross.
It kind of looks like
we're recording, doesn't it?
Don't be fucking rude about it.
I'm sorry, dude.
We got a resident Australian, Ross O'Donovan, special guest.
He was on a couple podcasts ago.
How's this podcast going?
This podcast is going great, man.
What did you boys talk about?
So far, Dwayne the Rock Johnson.
He's great.
Yeah, we talked about...
Dinosaurs.
I love dinosaurs.
What's your favorite dinosaur?
Dude, I don't
I need to do more research on dinosaurs
I got three that I really love
Sam
I love Triceratops
that's a good one
pretty cool
I love Velociraptor
and I love Pterodactyl
Pterodactyls are scary as shit
Pterodactyls are great
could you imagine
like being a prehistoric man
and seeing like a massive Pterodactyl
in the sky like coming at you.
But in the quote-unquote dinosaur realm.
But pterodactyls, my favorite representation of pterodactyls was actually in a bad movie.
It was Jurassic Park 3.
I thought the way they presented them was really cool because they were menacing.
I've always seen them as docile flying animals.
Dude, they would rip the shit out of you.
Oh, yeah.
They would hurt you. You see that in the shit out of you. Oh yeah they would.
You see that in the sky coming at you like dive bombing at you. That massive beak is gonna
Billy should have died in that movie
100%. Oh yeah absolutely.
But the actor I think put up a stink
about it. I don't want to die.
Do you want to go get lunch and talk about that?
Let's go get some lunch and talk about pterodactyls.
I haven't had lunch. What are you guys going to get?
It's already here.
They're sandwiches from what's it called?
I don't know the place. Let's get some sandwiches.
We'll be right back.
Alright, I won't be back though. Bye.
Bye.
Well, yeah.
And we're back.
We got some sandwiches.
Really good sandwiches. Really good sandwiches.
Tasty sandwiches.
I had a shrimp sandwich.
I had a chicken club sandwich.
Nice.
I ate half of it, put the other half in the fridge for safekeeping for later.
Same here.
I'm going to take mine, put it in my fridge when I get back home.
So then you got a nice snack for later.
That's very smart, Ryan.
Exactly.
I need to go grocery shopping.
I need to do the same because...
I need to still organize shit, too. I have absolutely nothing grocery shopping. I need to do the same because I need to still like organize shit
too. I have absolutely nothing
in the fridge. Nothing at all.
Like and I keep I keep I keep opening
the fridge to be like
oh man I need some food and then it's
all expired food and
nothing. Tucker drank all
of my organic milk. Hey what a funny
coincidence Tucker uh I caught
him trying to drink my milk last night he He's like, there's no milk.
There's like one sip in here. I'm like,
oh, it's my milk, Tucker. Why?
Why would you care if there's only one sip of milk in there?
He was giving me shit for having like no
milk in the cart and then I'm like,
well, it's my milk.
Huh? Huh? It's my milk,
Tucker. God damn it. And I was like, you can have
some of my soy milk if you want to classify
yourself as a soy boy.
Dude, nothing wrong with a soy boy.
Nothing wrong with being a soy boy, guys.
Don't let the haters online tell you differently.
Being a soy boy has changed my life.
I cannot tell you in so many ways how great it is.
Ever since I started eating more soy, I have become the pinnacle of human evolution.
Dude, if you want to counteract the soy,
the estrogen soy, just eat onions,
dude, just raw onions. Ew.
They give you testosterone. I cry.
Is that why ogre eats onions?
Is that why ogre eats onions?
Yeah, is that why ogre eats onions?
Because it's
testosterone? I think it's more
just like onions are gross, and ogres
are gross. Ogres are like onions. Ogre are like onion onions are gross so and ogres are gross the ogres are
like onions ogre are like onion onions are like ogres you know you know all ogres are like onions
but not all onions are like ogres on that on that tangent shrek 5 is coming out in 2019 right so
mike myers does have a career oh yeah he does. Because if I'm not mistaken, there's a new Shrek movie coming out next year in 2019.
What are they going to do?
I think so.
Shrek 2 is fine.
Yeah, was that the one where they go to happily never after?
Happily ever after.
Happily ever after.
But it's like done in the way of the Hollywood sign?
Yeah, that's right.
And I remember like, oh, yeah, because it's right after their wedding.
And they're riding their onion carriage to their honeymoon yeah happily ever after classic
movie man it's so so good i've seen all the shrek movies and i don't remember any of them beyond the
second one like i don't see puss in boots i did not see puss in boots neither did i i think i've
only seen shrek one two and which is the one with uh how many are there rumple still skin
no i didn't see the one with rumple still skin i saw the one with Rumpelstiltskin no I didn't see the one with Rumpelstiltskin
I saw the one with Prince Charming
where he comes back and sets up the play
as like a revenge thing
I have seen the one with Rumpelstiltskin never mind
it was a forgettable
film to me to be honest
you know what I'm gonna go
fuck it tonight I'm gonna have a double feature
I'm gonna go watch Shrek and Shrek 2 back to back
on my flight
recently Shrek was a viewing option and I
didn't watch it for some reason I feel like when I
go back and watch it because I had it's been years
since I've actually seen Shrek
oh same from like start
to finish I've forgotten most of it at this point yeah
I'm sure some of the jokes will land because
I'm sure there's a lot of adult
jokes that now I'll be like oh
ha because my dad was like, you know, because
ass means butt and donkey
and I was like, whoa
double meaning
Shrek writers got it
I mean, that's what I picked up
when I watched
I have to save my ass
I gotta mention Kangaroo Jack in every single podcast
What are you talking about Kangaroo Jack?
I picked up, there was like a lot of adult humor in it that i didn't pick up before like the homosexual like
offbeat joke they put in there it was very on beat to me i i dude i laughed my ass off on beat
for you it came out of nowhere dude i i was just like oh my god that's so fun i laughed i laughed
so hard and uh what's the joke matt the so you got it. Okay, so Lewis and Charlie, they're tied up.
Charlie!
Yeah, and they're being dragged, or they're being like walked behind the bad guys riding on camels.
And their hands are tied up on the camels.
They have dirt in their face and shit.
They do, yeah.
They're in the dirty outback.
And he's like, suddenly Charlie has an idea, man.
And he's like, Lewis, reach in my man and he's like lewis reaching my pants
because that's where charlie keeps his hairstyling scissors yeah and he and he's like and then lewis
is like charlie man we all we all have urges you know one time there was this well-built latino
and then charlie cuts him off he's like no lewis my scissors are in there and that line just i
don't know like it got me so hard.
I can't remember that line at all.
Yeah, I never remembered it either.
Even though you and I just watched Kangaroo Jack like five months ago.
Yeah, and when that line dropped, I'd like never heard it before.
And I laughed so hard.
Dude, we've mentioned Kangaroo Jack on like at least.
The most recent podcast, definitely like a like at least the most recent podcast definitely like
a string of like the most five or six recent i think at least like i probably could not count
it on two hands how many podcasts we've mentioned kangaroo jack or spy kids well you just did it
they're good okay well yeah now i added i want someone to actually go back and like listen to
all the podcasts and and count how many times we haven't mentioned oj in a while okay oj we
mentioned jesus christ in just about every single video.
He's a big part of both.
I don't know about you, but Jesus Christ was a big part of my life.
He was a part of my life until college.
That's most of my life.
Same.
And now you're making him.
I grew up with Jesus.
You grew up with Jesus, dude.
I went through puberty with Jesus.
We went through puberty together.
We were always comparing armpit hairs and stuff.
Yeah. Do you remember when you got your comparing armpit hairs and stuff. Yeah.
Do you remember when you got your first armpit hairs and you were like, whoa!
No, what really made me go, whoa, was when I started getting that lip fuzz.
And you get kind of like that weird, just kind of Napoleon Dynamite's brother's mustache going on.
I'm still working on it.
Maybe soon I'll be able to experience that.
I remember shaving for the first time.
It was very awkward. Yeah. And then he was like, I have to working on it. Maybe soon I'll be able to experience that. I remember shaving for the first time. It was very awkward.
Yeah.
I was like, I have to do this now?
And then you feel your lip after you shave, and it's rough, and you're like, what the
what?
Kids, when they start growing facial hair, they just look stupid.
And I want to go back, and I want to see if there's any pictures with that lip fuzz.
It's gross, man.
Because there was a point where I'm like, yeah, I'm going to have to, what do I do with
it?
I just get hair on my upper lip
my dad's like
whoa gotta shave it off
yeah I don't remember
the first time I shaved my face
I just don't like putting
razors up to my delicate face
delicate soft little
porcelain doll skin
I uh
soft
delicate porcelain doll
well here's
how do those mix
it's a
it's a porcelain
like soft
yeah it's
porcelain soft
porcelain's very
porcelain's one of the
softest materials there is known to man like a nice porcelain. Is it soft? Yeah, porcelain is soft. Porcelain is one of the softest materials there is.
Known to man.
Like a nice porcelain couch.
I sleep on a porcelain bed.
That sounds so uncomfortable.
A porcelain bed.
With like porcelain pillows and everything.
You're putting porcelain couch.
I want like full porcelain furniture in my place.
With plastic pillows.
Plastic wrapping.
Like you know how they have tumbler cups?
Like they're a plastic, it's that material but made for pillows. Youastic wrapping. Like, you know how they have tumbler cups? Like, they're plastic.
It's that material, but made for pillows.
You can easily crack them.
Porcelain doesn't sound like a word anymore, now that we've said it several times.
Porcelain.
It's a nice word.
It is a very nice word, porcelain.
It's a beautiful word.
You don't say it that often.
And now it's like, when you say it, it doesn't sound real.
You know what else is a good word?
What?
Chicanery.
Is that a real word?
Yeah.
Chicanery? What does that mean word? Yeah. Chicanery?
What does that mean?
It's an episode of Breaking Bad.
No, it's not.
I'm not going to handle this chicanery.
This chicanery.
That's what his brother says during a case.
No, Better Call Saul.
Yeah.
Okay, that's right.
What did I say?
You said Breaking Bad.
Whatever.
I was like, I'm like, Breaking Bad.
Sorry, Better Call Saul.
Chicanery, dude.
You're right.
That is an episode of, that's such an old person. It, Better Call Saul. Chicanery, dude. You're right. That is an episode of a...
That's such an old person.
It's a good episode.
It is.
That's going to be down as one of the classic episodes of Better Call Saul.
Is that the one with the courtroom and Chuck?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's with Chuck in the courtroom.
That's not spoiling anything because Chuck's a lawyer and he spends most of his days in
a courtroom.
Well, in his personal life, not, you know.
Guys, if you haven't seen Better Call Saul, you got some time to watch it before the next
season starts.
April?
no I wish
latter half of this year
latter half of the year
probably like August
yeah and then
well okay
and then Game of Thrones
comes out sometime
like what
February 2019
Jesus Christ
y'all ain't watching
Better Call Saul
it's good
it's fucking good
it's great
I could see how like
I've talked to people
that have been turned off
after like the first season
just push through it
it's good well it's the same type of could see how like, I've talked to people that have been turned off after like the first season, just push through it. It's good.
Well, it's the same type of thing
of how some people just couldn't do Breaking Bad
after the first episode or two.
Yeah.
Couldn't get into it.
I was like that.
I watched the first episode one day,
couldn't get into it.
Then I went back and watched it.
I'm like, how did I not,
how was I not into this?
This is so fun and refreshing.
And the story is moving along
and it doesn't feel like it's stalling because i was
so used to watching these nickelodeon or whatever shows that they would stall the plot purposely for
three episodes or like the biggest offender of that now um that i think um took me out of just
kind of going like took me out of tv like watching walking dead yeah walking dead walking dead we'll spend like a whole season
in one place and that's
not bad
it's just that the actions they
were doing did not progress
the plot any further and when you're not progressing
the plot what's
the point of this season like I like to feel like
the TV shows have a point and a purpose
and Breaking Bad definitely had a point
and a purpose it's always moving had a point and a purpose. It's always moving.
Every episode at least
it benefited the plot.
It moves the story along every episode.
There's like no episodes you could really skip.
There's one episode you could skip.
Fly. I don't think you should skip.
No, you shouldn't. It's like one of my favorite episodes. It's so good.
But I watched two episodes of Breaking
Bad last night. You did? Which ones?
Three and four. Season one? Yeah, just because I've been starting to watch that again. I watched some of it Breaking Bad last night you did? which ones? three and four season one?
yeah just because I've been starting to watch that again
I watched some of it while I was in Japan
I think I'm going to re-watch
Arrested Development soon
dude that's a classic re-watch
I love re-watching it
I just think season four
I know it's a popular thing to say
and it wasn't awful it just left a bad taste in my mouth
I guess I know what you mean yeah as I said it's a popular thing to say and it wasn't awful it just left a bad taste in my mouth I guess
I know what you mean yeah
as I said it wasn't bad
it just didn't feel as snappy and quick
you know it felt like it wasn't as witty
yeah it was just like
I feel like that has to do a lot with
the banter the banter didn't seem as natural
also they had the characters all separated
you know yeah and the big part of that show
was the A plot B plot C, all that type of shit.
But now there was really only, you know, one character in an episode.
Which it tried a new style, and I commend it for that.
And it was still a funny show.
There were still a lot of funny gags.
Yeah, lots and lots.
Like, there were a lot of funny moments in the most recent season of Arrested Development.
I'm excited for the fifth season.
I hope they, you know, learned their...
They can right their wrongs like the writers
are like oh well this is what we did wrong and why people didn't like it so let's go back to this
format or let's let's do that i've been watching this series on netflix recently where it's all
about and it's just depressing the first episode tore me up it's all about people who are innocent
that are convicted oh like for life that's that's like my worst nightmare and
it's like the thing is outside looking in it's obvious they're innocent could you imagine
something you did when you were 15 or 14 affected the rest of your life even though you were
innocent and it's after this traumatic thing and when you're coming back from this traumatic event
because after a traumatic event event usually you know i'm not gonna say you don't have control over
your actions but you're more susceptible to stupid things, I would say.
Yeah.
And they were, and this kid.
You're in a weakened emotional state.
Yeah.
And so in this weakened emotional state, he definitely did some stupid things, but it's
unfortunate that those stupid things led to his wrongful conviction.
Is he still convicted?
Yeah.
Well, I guess I don't want to spoil it, but.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I'll tell you.
I can't imagine like
how awful that would be being like wrongfully convicted of something that you had nothing to
do with i mean you have to go to prison and like face prison it's like you can't really defend
yourself after that when there's like yeah no chance of parole sorry and you wait and you used
all of your uh what is it called um when you go back as it's kind of like a retry. A retrial? Oh, yeah.
And the crazy thing about that is,
of course, even the courts would never want to admit that because that's such a tremendous error.
You've heard of the stories of the guys going to jail
for like 20-something years and all of a sudden,
oh, yeah, they're innocent.
New DNA evidence found that the guy's innocent.
And then they set them free and they're like,
um, here's $200,000.
You just ruined this person's life.
Taking 20 years away.
A lot has happened for me
in the past three years.
And your adult life, 20 years, is
a substantial chunk of your life.
You lose people in that time. You miss
opportunities. You miss so much.
Let's say that happens to you
at 23.
You're 43 when you come out of that shit or even close to 50 how do you how do you go back into society after not learning i mean you should be a learned adult of course by 23 but there's still
so much i think that you're developing in terms of social skills and interacting as an adult with
people that if you're kept away from that like society and you're putting this pen for that long
and you're innocent yeah it's just gotta fuck with your ability to um socially commit to the
society and i think like i think the hardest part about that is how much you missed like you know
like lovers would move on you your family you'd lose family members they would die friends would
things would happen they'd go away most of move on friends would forget about you you you would miss like your life would you'd
have to start over like everyone minus like maybe a few old friends and family members would would
just be gone but a lot of your friends and family are like yeah he didn't do it but he's serving
time in jail i don't know why but yeah he's innocent like i know he's innocent because he
was with me that night but then but then it sounds like just the family members even of like convicted
killers are like no they didn't do it they never did it even though it's like just the family members, even of convicted killers, are like, no, they didn't do it.
They never did it.
Even though they clearly did.
But it's like, that's crazy, man.
That's a huge fear of mine, to be convicted at that extent for a crime I had no idea what happened or committed.
Like the perfect coincidence.
Yeah, the perfect coincidence.
Because those exist.
I mean, there are a lot of court cases like that that end in someone's conviction who's innocent
but of course i think a majority of those conviction like a majority of convictions
are probably earned now when you think about it like of like when you think of traffic tickets
violent crime robbery stuff like that but then there's these cases where it's like is this justice is is it worth it to
have this justice system um corral crime like this even though in a few select instances it
handles it a horrible way you know what i mean yeah like is it is it worth it i'm not saying
like it is or isn't i'm just saying i guess that's the dilemma here is catching the majority.
Is it risking sacrificing the few over bad – over like a bad lawyer or a bad judge or bad circumstance?
Yeah, and I think like not to get too political but like – well, the American justice system I think is like really messed up.
But the hard thing is like most countries have a super fucked up justice system.
And it's like how do you have a good justice system?
It's hard.
It's really hard.
Maybe only a handful of countries have an actually decent justice system.
Well, because the justice system for the longest time, even in America, was just linked to a lot of groups and a lot of people that were self-beneficial, of course.
And still is today in terms of prison systems and governments.
You think of Martin Scorsese movies, there was a time, and there's a reason that
these stereotypes exist, where it's like, you know, the dirty cop.
Because there were a lot of dirty cops, you know, what, 20, 30 years ago.
There's probably still a lot of dirty cops today.
Oh, of course.
And there was that sting operation, I forgot, there's a movie about it, where like two-thirds
of the NYPD, or LAPD, i don't remember which one i mean it's
major city got was like found on corruption like two-thirds of the whole police yeah it's like what
the fuck it's crazy and you don't just get rid of that like new cops come in and i guarantee it's
the same shit and to think about um just in general think about like in the 70s 80s or even
90s you could argue and today in certain circumstances of course but i'm
more talking about like a 70s era 60s 70s i guess 50s even sorry i'm going back um most cops were
just racist yeah it was just that's they had to adjust well that's because the law was racist so
in upholding the racist law they of course had to be racist to uphold the law. And that's not like they were forced to be racist.
It's just like the justice system segregation prevailed in terms of hiring
people that were racist because that's what the laws were.
And that's just how the system worked.
And it's an unfortunate time in history.
And when you look at that,
it's like shit,
you know,
people,
a lot of people back then,
um,
unless they were in a community that was being targeted probably
didn't see that and was like oh you know business as usual i wonder how many people like how much
is actually fixed or if 20 years down the road i think it's a long way to go we'll be talking down
like god do you remember all those fucking cases in the two like early 2000s yeah like what what
will it be like because history um takes a while to digest usually and to get all the stories, you know, in proper order because it's hard to take things as they happen.
So when we look back and we see all these stories and the times and the dates and the instances and the proof and all that other stuff, you know, what will the depiction of law enforcement be uh of this time 30 years from now i also think it's
it's hard to make a lot of progress in terms of like civil rights issues and stuff when
a lot of the people that are in power are like 60 and 70 year old dudes and it's like the time
they grew up in is that time completely different and it's like they're still in our and you know that they're not open-minded no well like some of them are but
i'm not even saying this but like look at our parents and that's not saying like our parents
are racist but like when you talk to your mom or dad like when i talk to my mom or dad or stepdad
or stepmom you know they came from a different time yeah in terms of you know technology social
situations it's weird to think about that when my mom was born you know this this person
she's not old by any stretch of the word um but she lived in a she was she existed
when major civil rights movements were like still going on and there was um i don't know it's just
weird to think about like it wasn't that long ago this shit happened like in terms of oh dude that
was 40 50 years ago whatever all that stuff it's like that's in terms shit happened. Yeah, right? Like, in terms of, oh, dude, that was 40, 50 years ago, whatever, all that stuff.
It's like, that's, in terms of history, that's not a long time.
Not at all.
And I, and yes, things are, I have to see that things, yes, are progressively getting
better, but at a super slow rate, of course.
I think they've slowed down considerably.
Well, slowed down, but I still, things are better off than they were in the 70s and 60s.
Oh, 100%. Then, you know, off than they were in the seventies and sixties. Oh, well, a hundred percent. Then the, you know, the eighties were
better than the seventies, you know, it gets better, but I think now it's, it's, there's a,
there's a big spotlight right now. You, you know, in a, every decade there's a big spotlight event
and we were caught in a big spotlight event. You could say of all these happenings and a
wrongful shootings that happened probably within the last decade that people
have been talking about because the news cycle and the internet has brought it all to the
forefront, which is like really cool.
Which is also, also interesting because there's, even with recent events, you see people spreading
a lot of false information.
It's easier for that false information to get out there.
And it's just a lesson to learn that you you can listen to any podcast you want listen to
this podcast listen to you know as i said any podcast you want but you also have to make sure
to do your own research and check up on sources that yes that you trust and also you know see what
people are saying in the different side of the aisle that you don't really uh that you don't
agree with because i do feel like as much as people who lean left like to hear what's on the left
it's it's very healthy to kind of actually listen to someone on the right who's who's uh not
batshit crazy just like how so alex jones well like you know there's out there's the there's
alex jones of the right you know there's that alex jones of the left and so people on the
right only kind of visualize the left when they talk in terms of left and right when it's that
simple they they categorize that okay they're all like this one person they're all like this
one group much like how the left is like oh they're all like this one group when they're
when there is a majority middle grounded people there are people that are you know more in the
um yeah middle and more in the respective left and right than the far left and right.
Yeah, yeah.
But it is difficult to gauge sometimes just because of all the news sources that are out there, whether they're good or bad, trustworthy or not.
So it's definitely an interesting time.
And we're definitely going to look back and go, wow, can you believe like all of this shit
we could just spew out
and like things were so confusing
in terms of getting the story right.
I'd recommend using websites like Snopes and PolitiFact
and stuff like that to check sources
and check the validity of things
because those are pretty good trusted websites,
in my opinion.
I want to see how history
books of this time are written yeah that'll be interesting to see because you remember when we
were in high school that part of the history book was really new was the 9-11 yeah the 9-11 section
and like george bush and like the beginning of the iraq war yeah and it was really interesting
reading all of that from just a historical book these are this is what happened type of it's like
the newest chapter in it. Yeah. Yeah.
I wonder, it'd be interesting to read a history book in like five years and see just like what's written down.
Yeah, just got to pay $200 first.
Fucking textbooks are like so ridiculously expensive.
Never buy new textbooks.
That's why I torrented mine.
Go get used textbooks or electronic textbooks.
Honestly, today, now that I'm thinking about it, I mean, I think it was just kind of reaching
out when I was in high school.
Not just reaching out, but I was around the time when electronic textbooks were becoming a big thing, I guess.
Yeah.
Because, you know, they were still testing it and the company didn't make sure they had a way where people couldn't download them illegally, I guess.
But a lot of people did because it's fucking free.
Yeah. Share with your friends. it's fucking free. Yeah.
Share with your friends.
That was a, that's how I got by.
I mooched off my friend's textbooks that I share classes with because I'm like, I'll
give you $20.
I'm not buying a $400 textbook.
I see.
And like, I get it, you know, money goes towards education, quote unquote, every now and then
when you talk about that type of stuff.
But, um, there was no reason a textbook should be $400.
It's a business.
It's ridiculous. 100%. It's a business. It's ridiculous.
100%.
It's a business.
That's so stupid.
I know.
You have to pay for the course,
which is like thousands already.
And then it's like,
oh, also you need
this required textbook
that you're going to use
three times and it's $400.
Even though all the information
from that textbook,
you could easily go
and check out a book
in the library,
but the school won't
allow you to do that.
You have to get a textbook
or else it's like,
oh, you don't get to do the homework because
there's specific questions in this textbook that aren't in that textbook.
And there's some textbooks that apparently like professors, if they use those.
So you're paying for homework.
Holy fuck.
I just thought about that.
That sucks.
When you think, you know how they had questions in the book is like, do the questions in the
book that you paid fucking a hundred dollars for in the beginning of the year.
You're paying to do homework.
Fuck.
Like in high school and middle school and shit like that. That year. You're paying to do homework. Fuck. Like in high school
and middle school
and shit like that.
That's ridiculous.
Yeah.
Hey, we gotta get
in the textbook business.
That's what we gotta do.
We should make a college course
on how to be Let's Players,
create our own textbook,
charge $600 for it,
and make it mandatory
for the class.
Genius business model
right there.
Are there Ebonics textbooks?
I don't know.
What is the Ebonics Bible? That probably exists know. I don't know the Ebonics Bible.
That probably exists.
And if not,
you can be the first person
to write it, Ryan.
I don't think I could.
I would love to rewrite the Bible,
but in my tone,
in my voice.
Like if I did that,
how many copies would it sell?
A handful.
Like I'd rewrite the,
I'd just do the New Testament though.
Old Testament's fine and dandy,
but New Testament's where it's at.
New Testament's that good shit.
It's that kick-ass shit, dude.
Sort of like the...
That's where the cool shit happens.
Dude, speaking of cool shit,
what do you say we get out of here
and do some cool shit?
Okay.
Like go do some flips on a bicycle.
Okay.
Like a tandem bike, take a BMX.
I call the front seat. Okay, great. I. Take a BMX. I call the front seat.
Okay.
Great.
I'll get the back seat.
Lego gets the back seat.
So you have to be in the middle.
The middle of a tandem bike?
Yeah.
Where there's no seat?
Yeah.
I'll just hang on to the little bar?
Yeah.
That'd be terrifying.
You have to be upside down with the, with, with a, I don't know what the opposite of
a mohawk is, but it's where the tire's gonna just grate down your hair to just be nothing
I don't think that hairstyle exists. Where instead of, it's like the, it's like an inverted mohawk is but it's where the tires gonna just grate down your hair to just be I don't think that hairstyle exists
where instead it's like it's like an inverted mohawk
where it's just like shaved down the middle
because that would look so bad
well you look like a
I guess like a pincer you
look like a
goofball you're balding but only in a
strip down the middle of your head some kid
watching our podcast right now that has that exact haircut
it's just like crying.
Jesus.
I thought it.
Like he just got it.
He's never felt more confident in his life.
And then he hears his,
he hears us say that.
And he's just like broken.
Well,
just go ahead and shave the rest of your head.
Yeah.
Just that's a tip from us.
So anyway,
you can,
I'm sorry.
Go ahead.
You're about to end it.
Okay.
We were about to end it.
Thank you all for tuning in. Another great podcast recording here with my buddy, Matt, my best friend, sorry. Go ahead. You're about to end it. Okay. We're about to end it. Thank you all for tuning in.
Another great podcast recording here with my buddy, Matt, my best friend, Matt.
Thanks, Ryan.
You know, we come out with a podcast every Friday.
I think it releases or should release on iTunes.
And do we release on other pod?
Yeah, we released on other podcast apps, too.
It is.
Yes.
Google Play Music.
Still trying to get on Spotify.
If anyone knows any contact to Spotify, please help us.
That would really be awesome.
They're just really unresponsive.
We've tried like two times now.
Yeah.
So just remember, new podcast every Friday.
And then probably during the weekend, it'll be uploaded.
More than likely during the weekend, it'll be uploaded to an iTunes or something like that.
But if you want to help support us more, listen to it through uh youtube because that's um a better way
to support us and the podcast yeah because that's how we uh that's how we get that those advertisements
so so thanks guys that really does i mean if you're listening on itunes don't sweat it thanks
for just listening is good support yeah and if you're listening on itunes um another way to
support us if you're not listening through youtube is by leaving a a review of. And if you're listening on iTunes, um, another way to support us,
if you're not listening through YouTube is by leaving a, a review of the podcast.
If you like it,
go ahead and rate it,
you know,
rate,
rate the podcast,
however you see fit.
Um,
and,
uh,
just spread the word because I love doing this podcast.
Matt loves doing this podcast.
I love doing it.
It's fun.
That's why we've done 81 episodes.
So yeah,
we,
uh,
definitely want to keep doing this.
So to support us,
watch on YouTube or rate us or share us.
Do whatever you feel we deserve.
Absolutely.
And big guests coming soon.
Got a couple of them.
Oh yeah, the biggest guests we've ever had.
So not sure when yet, but get ready for that.
We have it locked down.
We do have it locked down.
All right, guys.
Well, we will see you next week.
I wish I could kiss all of you.
Not on the lips because I don't want to get sick.
Give you a little kiss on the forehead, like between your eyes.
Yeah, plus a kiss on the lips to all of our fans.
There's a wide age range.
Actually, you know what?
I take the kiss thing back because I'm sure there's many fans under the age of 18.
But those who are, let's say over 20.
Okay, 20 to be safe.
You know, 18 and 19 is still like high school-y.
Yeah, let's say over 20, okay?
And attractive, at least a 7.
At least a 7.
A 7 on the, yeah.
Not on the Richter scale.
A 7 on the hotness scale.
So if you're over the age of-
Like my fat shaming joke?
I didn't even get it until you said that.
If you're a 7 on the scale of how hot you are
and over the age of 20,
I'd love to give you a kiss on the forehead.
And if you can't find love through Matt's kisses
because you're not of that age,
you could wait till you are of age
and sign up for eHarmony.
Absolutely.
Good.
So go ahead and do that to support your boys if you want.
All right, guys.
Love you so much.
See you next week.
Bye. Thank you.