supermegashow - EP 83 - Petite Boy and Scary Bear (w/ Nathan Yaffe)

Episode Date: March 12, 2018

Nathan Yaffe from Drawfee joins us in some nice (?) conversation! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:00:50 Megatank! Mega what? Listen to the voice in your head and get a Canon Megatank printer so you don't have to think about ink for a long, long time. Visit canon.ca slash megatank for details. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the Super Megacast. This is episode 83. Now, this is actually the 83rd episode. details. We do. Very special guest. Little man that, well, not a... When I said little man, I didn't mean... Tiny man. He's about three foot eight. He's the world's tiniest man. We brought him in here.
Starting point is 00:01:30 I'm a little man. He hops from shoulder to shoulder when he needs to use the mic. He's sitting on my right shoulder right now. If he wants to climb over, you can get on Ryan's left shoulder. I'm climbing. Here we are. But we got our good friend Nathan Yaffe here. Say hey, Nathan. Hi. Hi, I'm a our good friend Nathan Yaffe here. Say hey, Nathan. Hi.
Starting point is 00:01:45 Hi, I'm a little man named Nathan Yaffe. I'm here on the podcast. You've got very comfortable shoulders, guys. Thank you. Thank you. I've been trying to pad mine out with some muscle. It's not easy. Yeah, it's feeling good.
Starting point is 00:02:01 I've perched on many a shoulder in my time and I gotta say, top ten shoulders. Oh, thanks, man. Well, actually, Nathan personally reached out to us and requested to be on the podcast because he wanted to go into detail about the last time he had sex. So, Nathan, if you'd like to... Yeah, go on. It was good.
Starting point is 00:02:20 Cool. Cool. Awesome. Thanks so much, Nathan. Thanks for coming on, man. It was great having you on the podcast. Spread that as far and wide as I can. It. Awesome. Thanks so much, Nathan. Thanks for coming on, man. It was great having you on the podcast. I want to spread that as far and wide as I can. It's good. It's a good time. Hey, and you know what? While we're talking about this, I think there could not be a more perfect time to thank
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Starting point is 00:03:23 I need to look good. You gotta look famous, too. I have to fit that famous let's player slash podcaster look. I've actually gained a little bit of weight. Oh, nice. Thank you. Traveling?
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Starting point is 00:04:45 Want to try that again? Yeah. SUPER to 30 God damn it. SUPER to 303030. There you go. That's SUPER to 30... I thought you were going to say 303030. You guys got it. It's in the description. Plus that goof probably helped you remember it. Yeah, you go 303030. Made it more
Starting point is 00:05:01 confusing. What a lovely read. What did you think of it, Nathan? I think they'd be a fool to not sponsor you again. Thank you, Nathan. You did just call our sponsor a fool. If they don't sponsor you
Starting point is 00:05:17 again. They're not fools for continuing to sponsor you. Okay, fair enough. You saved it there, that's good. But yeah, Nathan, he does a little show called Drawfee, which Ryan and I were recently, actually in terms of like this podcast coming out, I'm not sure which is coming out first or if they're coming out around the exact same time. But Drawfee is a YouTube channel.
Starting point is 00:05:43 They do a show. I'm sure many of you listeners have seen Doodle Dudes uh it's it's like the OG Doodle Dudes it's uh it's very similar it's a drawing podcast uh so Ryan and I were recently on an episode of that so you can go check that out what was the subject come on it was a good fun it was a good fun time we did knockoff Simpsons characters absolutely it doesn't get much better than that. We created a great family. We hope you guys enjoy it. It was so much fun. It really is like, I was looking at it after we finished drawing and I was actually thinking
Starting point is 00:06:12 to myself, like, if these were the real characters on The Simpsons, I would watch that show religiously. The best way I could describe how all of our characters looked, it looked like a show that would come on after Squidbillies on Adult Swim. Yeah. It definitely had some Squidbillies vibe to it. I feel like a lot of the stuff we draw feels that way. Just sort of gross
Starting point is 00:06:33 and disproportioned and messy, messy fun time. That's the best art style for drawing. My whole life, I can't think of an art style I love more than crude, disproportionate, grotesque, like, cartoons. I can only draw like a child, so. You can only, can you draw a child or you draw like a child?
Starting point is 00:06:55 Well, I mean, I can do both if you want me to. I'd like to see you draw a child like a child through the eyes of a child. Would that just be like a stick figure? When you guys were growing up, when you would draw, like when you were a young kid and you would draw. No, I'd draw a meaty man. A big meaty man? A big meaty man. I mean, you know, you draw probably every second of your life, Nathan, right?
Starting point is 00:07:18 Yeah, every second. I'm drawing right now. When he's not having sex. How did you learn to draw a proportionate person? Like, what was the hardest part about drawing a proportionate person? Here's the thing. Legs, they're too long. They're too long to draw.
Starting point is 00:07:35 They always go off the paper when he tries to draw them. He's just like, what did I do? Yeah, just do the Rob Liefeld method. Cover them up. Have them go off the page. Put them behind an object. Put them behind other people. Rip the paper in half where the legs begin.
Starting point is 00:07:52 Yeah, just tear it up. And my dog ate it. The dog ate the legs. Hey, when I was a kid, I don't know if, I mean, Nathan, you're obviously a very talented artist. Thank you. I don't know if when you, like, I feel like a lot of people do this, but when I was a kid, when I would draw people, I would draw, like, the head. I would draw the person. And then I would draw the arms and the legs coming out of the head.
Starting point is 00:08:16 So there was no torso or body. It was just like, it was like a. Like a Pac-Man? Yeah, it was like a head and then, like, long legs and arms coming out of the head. Did you do that? That's kind of, you're kind of describing what we drew on the yeah that's like a hunter stamp dude yeah dude yeah yeah spoilers but um yeah i think well it was interesting because yeah i growing up i i had a hard time doing cartoons because i i really like details and trying to draw as realistically as possible. And so I actually learned a lot of my cartooning techniques from my friends who were less, like, traditionally good artists.
Starting point is 00:08:56 But I would see the ways that they would try and simplify forms. And I said, oh, that's fun. I'll try that. Yeah, man. Give that a shot. forums and I said oh that's fun I'll try that yeah man I really want to take like because I recently uh when I was back home um visiting my parents for the holidays I was going through some of my old um drawings and like books I created as a kid which I do have to say I was quite the wordsmith I wrote um a short book of stories and one of them was literally uh do not launch
Starting point is 00:09:24 missiles they are bad and and like it took up an entire page that's it was more of like a warning that's pertinent no no nuclear missiles have been launched yeah that's true since since i wrote that story no nuclear missiles have been launched so i guess angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know if you own a home it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to
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Starting point is 00:10:48 That's A-N-G-I dot com. Hi, can I take your order, please? Keep it rare, I need a happy man. I make crispy and tan McNuggets. Tasty golden fries, a cold drink with extra ice. Junior chicken will be fire and a sweet hot apple pie. Is that it? Let me get a quarter pound of a cheese and flatfish, oh please. Make grittas, a McMuffin and a large coffee. A hamburger, cheeseburger, hodgepodge, hotcakes. Vanilla cone shake and a hot bar sundae. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba.
Starting point is 00:11:23 They were taking your advice. Yeah, but I did find some of those drawings I did where it was just like the head with the scribbly hair and like the arms and legs. And I really would like to do a hyper-realistic like oil painting of some like a portrait where it's very realistic limbs and the head. But it's just they're just coming out of the head like that. I'd love to see that. Portions are all that. That'd be fun. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:44 Like I just want to take my childhood drawings and then recreate them as, like, hyper-realistic. Are you asking me to do that for you? That might be available. Is that your snide little? That might be available. Come on, Nathan, maybe. Come on, Nathan.
Starting point is 00:11:58 You can draw. You can draw. And we're friends, right? Yeah, send it over. Send it over. I'll get started right away. Thank you. I request it to be in mural form.
Starting point is 00:12:07 Oh, for sure. Yeah, I'll put it up on the closest building to where I am. Can you pay for shipping and handling as well? That would really help me out, buddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely. Okay. That's what I'm here for. Nathan, our channel has been in decline.
Starting point is 00:12:22 We don't have the money to pay for shipping and handling, but we really need this, man. Please come through. Our sponsors aren't even paying us anymore. I don't know why they severed all ties. Except for the sponsor in this video who's so gracious to sponsor us. Yeah. The sponsor that I called a fool for. They're also paying us
Starting point is 00:12:38 in milk bones? Yeah. The dog treat? I don't know why. That's a fine point. We took it, though. I don't know why we agreed to that. What you gotta do is use a dog shipping service and then you can pay them in milk bones. It's like the Pony Express with dogs. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:53 Gee, thanks, sir. The plot of the movie Balto. Did you remember Balto? Balto's a good movie, okay? It's really good. You got the one polar bear. The dog's like this all the time. And you got the goose. You got the funny goose.
Starting point is 00:13:08 The goose with the Russian accent, yeah. You got the live action old lady. Right, that part at the beginning that they don't come back to. Yes. They do not come back to the live action part. They premise it like, this is a story a lady's telling her daughter, and
Starting point is 00:13:24 then you think maybe at the end does it not end back with like the statue and the credits start rolling up the live-action statue as they're walking away does it maybe it does I don't know I haven't seen it in a while whatever ball it's just I'm just imagining that but instead of delivering life-saving
Starting point is 00:13:40 medicine it's delivering these drawings that you like this like nine foot by by six foot like portrait of yeah of a hyper realistic like deformed like figure and i've never seen balto like i've never actually heard of it just now but listening to the way you guys describe it i don't know i like i'm trying to piece this together there's like a goose with a russian accent a polar bear with a high-pitched voice. There's a scary-ass black bear. There's a live-action.
Starting point is 00:14:07 With red eyes, right? It has red eyes, I think. I don't know. All I know is it's a big, scary black bear, and it's the most terrifying bear sequence in a children's film. Is it the most terrifying bear sequence in any film? No. Is that?
Starting point is 00:14:20 No. Now, see, that's not the fox and the hound. No. No, no, no. Balto runs into a big old bear. There's a terrifying bear sequence in that, too. Let me, Balto bear. I'm just Googling now.
Starting point is 00:14:35 I think the bear falls through ice or something. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're cute little polar bears, and then there's a big scary, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to show Matt this scary Balto bear. Show me, man. Look at this shit. Look how fucking scary this bear is. Stop! Get it off the screen! Like, that bear
Starting point is 00:14:51 has no soul. That's creepy, dude. He's buff, too. Here's the thing about that bear, man. He's not trying to, like, cause ill on anyone. He's just trying to, yeah, but it's not out of malice. He's trying to survive just like you and I, man. That is true. The bear
Starting point is 00:15:08 in Balto, if you remember, Nathan, does not speak anything. I guess he's mentally impaired in the universe of Balto. Like a violent, mentally impaired person. He doesn't speak English. He doesn't speak animal English. He just speaks...
Starting point is 00:15:22 He could speak Portuguese or something. He just does not understand. So you're saying that in the universe of Balto That they act like the toys of Toy Story Wherever they're near humans They have to be like Yeah Okay In Toy Story why could they not speak around Like what was the big deal
Starting point is 00:15:42 The children would freak out And flush them down the toilet or something That's probably true Well like dude if I was a kid and my toys started talking to me could they not speak around you like what was the big deal uh the children would freak out and flush him down the toilet or something that's probably true well like dude if i was a kid and my toys started talking to me i would have loved that like that would have been the coolest thing i say that but i probably would have like freaked the fuck out if my toys started talking to me so i guess sorry i'm just yeah i'm just like looking at all these pictures of this bear this is like must have been a traumatic experience for me as a child because i completely like blacked out this bear it's it's a memorable bear man you have to say like that bear is scarier than fox and hell yeah the animation style for
Starting point is 00:16:16 this bear completely like breaks the form of the rest of it like he doesn't have any outlines he's just got this red and blue lighting on him. Yeah, he just seems so ominous. It's like a silhouette. Yeah. Now, take the movie The Revenant. Take the bear scene and put that bear in place, like animated. It's still not as scary as the Balto bear, dude.
Starting point is 00:16:38 Yeah, it's like a Space Jam thing. Yeah, it's like Space Jam, but with a bear attacking Leonardo DiCaprio. And it's a cartoon bear attacking him. The only bear that is slightly more terrifying is the bear from Annihilation and Winnie the Pooh. I haven't seen Annihilation. I haven't seen Annihilation. There's a bear in that, though. You should.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Good to know. Yeah. Top bear movies. What's everybody's top Top five What's the one with the dude With the raccoon he has a raccoon hat David Crockett Yeah the David Crockett like Disney movie that came out
Starting point is 00:17:13 I didn't know that Disney made a David Crockett movie David Crockett fights a bear Does he? Oh shit dude Well I mean it's like one shot two shot And the one shot it's him going ahhh And the second shot it's the bear going ooooh They don't really I don't think ever legitimately fight oh he's just kind of yelling at it yeah that's anti-climactic like davy crockett's supposed to be this like crazy like backwoods hero okay and he just yells
Starting point is 00:17:34 at a bear he doesn't like kill it do you guys remember if old yeller helped fight off a bear i think no he fought he fought something off that had rabies and then he got rabies right right is that and that's why he had to take himies, and then he got rabies, right? Right. And that's why he had to take him out back. Then what dog fought off a bear? Where the redfern grows, and the little dog got hurt, and then that's why it died, right? Wow. All I know is the redfern grows is just sad. Dude, I read that in school, and I cried.
Starting point is 00:18:00 I cried my eyes out in class, and I didn't want anyone to to see so I put my head down on my desk and I was like fuck man. Why did you have to read so many books about dogs dying in school? Do you remember that? There's like Old Yeller, Where the Red Fern Grows There's another one where a dog dies. Sounder? Sounder is
Starting point is 00:18:20 one that's really sad. A lot of racial tensions with that book. Yeah when when you say sounder, all I think about is the act of sounding. No, it's nothing like that. Just like the Seattle soccer team, the Sounders, which my uncle
Starting point is 00:18:36 loves, and he always talks about the Sounders. I just laugh to myself, which is very immature, of course, but I'm like, it makes me think of urethral sounding. Which, for all you listeners, if you don't know what that is, go look it up. I'm just kidding. Don't. I'm looking it up right now.
Starting point is 00:18:49 Do you know what that is, Nathan? Look up videos. Oh. Look up sound images. I'm sure there's images. Oh. Yep. Yeah, that's what, yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:01 Yeah, there you go. See, you come on the podcast as a guest, Nathan, and you leave with some knowledge. You learn something. I appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you for educating me. Hey, that's what I'm here for, buddy. I'm here to open your eyes to all the wonders this world has to offer.
Starting point is 00:19:16 Yeah, there seem to be, like, two modes bears can be in film, and it's, like, horrible killing machines and then Paddington. Yeah, that's true. There's no like in between. I saw the first Paddington movie for the first time. It's actually a legitimately nice, light hearted romp that I enjoyed. Is it sad? I heard it's sad. I heard that. I mean
Starting point is 00:19:40 there's parts that are sad. I haven't seen Paddington 2. I only saw the first one. I saw someone tweeting about Paddington 2 and they were like that was like the are sad. I haven't seen Paddington 2. I only saw the first one. I saw someone tweeting about Paddington 2, and they were like, that was the saddest movie I've ever seen. Which brings up the hottest topic around. Nathan, what is the first bear movie you cried to? Go.
Starting point is 00:20:00 First bear movie I cried to? Oh, man. It might be the Winnie the Pooh movie the one with the heffa-lumps or is that a different one that uh hmm heffa-lumps scared the shit out of me they scared me too I feel like I have some memory of crying to a Winnie the Pooh movie
Starting point is 00:20:18 but I don't remember when I think of Winnie the Pooh I feel sad I don't know why I'm thinking of the search for Christopher Robin is the one I'm thinking of there might have been heffalumps in that one I just remember there's like a lot of a lot of tension a lot of sort
Starting point is 00:20:34 of like uncertainty and the friendships are tested it was weird how they decided to go with the ending of actually not finding Christopher Robin. Leaving it ambiguous for the audience to decide whether he survived in the wilderness or not. That's so weird.
Starting point is 00:20:52 And it's pretty like you're certain that he died from exposure in the wilderness. They hinted that pretty strongly. I mean, they found his shorts. He wasn't wearing pants. He died in the wilderness. They tested the ending where they find just his mangled corpse. It didn't do well. Didn't go well with the audience.
Starting point is 00:21:10 Yeah, so. And then Winnie the Pooh opens his eyes. The camera revolves around and it shows this huge monstrous bear with blood on its claws. And it's all about Pooh finding the true nature of his form. It's the same bear. It's the same bear from Balto. It's like the big twist. He can be this sweet bear, but he'll
Starting point is 00:21:30 never be able to erase his true nature as this killing machine. Could you imagine if they actually ended that movie, The Hunt for Christopher Robin? The Hunt for Christopher Robin sounds like they got rifles and they're looking for him. Imagine if they had ended The the search for Christopher Robin where like, like
Starting point is 00:21:48 he just dies in the woods and like they, like they find him out there and they're like, he's a little blue. Like he's like, he died from exposure out in the woods. Like the cold, like North Dakota woods or wherever Winnie the Pooh takes place. The hundred acre woods, dude. Is that in North Dakota? It's gotta be in North Dakota. I think it's in a book.
Starting point is 00:22:04 I think they exist in a book i think they exist in a novel so so does north dakota i okay i've never been in north dakota i don't even know if it exists i could be one of those houses have you been in north dakota i told you this this is where i built that was south dakota no it's north dakota where the big heads are no that's south dakota well that's south dakota no well we went to go see the big heads, but we actually gave soup and built houses for people who just wanted us out of their way. Can we start calling Mount Rushmore the big heads? The big heads. It's a lot more true to what it is.
Starting point is 00:22:35 It's not a mountain. I don't need to remember these people that badly. It's just that they're the big heads. If you tell a foreigner Mount Rushmore, they're going to be like, unless they've looked up what Mount Rushmore is, they're not going to know what it is. But if you tell a foreigner the big heads, they're like, oh yeah, the big heads. I know exactly what that is.
Starting point is 00:22:54 There's only one, the big heads. What are other names for I was about to say natural disasters, but that's not what they are. What are they called? The wonders of the world. Monuments? Wonders, yeah. Well, most of them are pretty self-explanatory. Like, the pyramids are, like,
Starting point is 00:23:09 they're pyramids. And then, like, the Grand Canyon. Canyon Gardens. It's a Grand Canyon. Yeah, so it's really only, okay. There's gotta be some other, like, natural wonders that are... Or, like, monuments. I mean, Rushmore isn't a natural wonder.
Starting point is 00:23:26 It wasn't eroded perfectly like that. What? Which would be fantastic. It wasn't man-made. It's erosion, dude. High school. The hands of God came down. God's very patriotic for the United States.
Starting point is 00:23:37 He sculpted that with wind over millions of years. Those were there before those presidents were even born. He was actually trying to give the true view of Jesus and got it wrong every time. And so he had to... He's like, damn it, that's not what he looks like. What does he look like in thought? He finally got to Teddy Roosevelt and was just like, never mind. Forget it.
Starting point is 00:23:58 I'm waiting for the executive order to put Trump up with Mount Rushmore. Just stick him to the side, just up there with those heads. No, just make a little tiny statue of him standing on all the heads like at the top like on top just like there's a motion sensor so like if anything crosses its path
Starting point is 00:24:16 within like a hundred yards in front of it it'll be like I love America that's all it does just a stupid voice it's just a little animatronic that like looks like it's made of stone I love America. That's all it does. Just a stupid voice. Yeah, he, it's just a little animatronic that, like, looks like it's made of stone. But they, but they film it real close up.
Starting point is 00:24:33 So he's just like, yay. They hire one of those statue impersonators. Like, that's, like, painted gray. Yeah. Those always freak me out. Man, I want to get, like, I want a petition to get some, like, old, like, politician you've forgotten about that no one really cares about to be the next head of Mount Rushmore, like Michelle Bachman. And just put her on Mount Rushmore where everyone's like, what is she doing up there? But she's bigger than all the rest of them.
Starting point is 00:24:58 She stands out the most. It's like the four heads and then Michelle Bachman. She's like the ringleader of the group on that mountain. There ain't no woman on the mountain of Rushmore. Yeah, we need a woman on Mount Rushmore. What do we do? Why is it all dudes? And that woman, of course, the spokesperson for all women, Michelle Bachman. That's the one we pick.
Starting point is 00:25:16 I just want to marry Michelle Bachman. If she's married, I want that marriage to end so I can swing on in there, man. Need me some Michelle Bachman in my life. Hey, be careful what you wish for. It just might come true. I know. Why would I be careful? Nathan has some high up friends, I know. Nathan has friends in high places. Nathan, could you organize a date with Michelle Bachman
Starting point is 00:25:35 and me? Oh, gosh. You know, I'll pull some strings. I'll see what I can... Sounds like a non-answer. The, uh... I'm just pulling strings I just have a drawer of strings and he's like this one's gotta do something
Starting point is 00:25:50 yeah where do these strings go I don't know where where do you know you're part of a bomb squad division he pulls a like a string
Starting point is 00:25:57 and then he finds out there's like some terrible bombing somewhere in like Cincinnati and he's like that couldn't couldn't have been me
Starting point is 00:26:02 so he pulls another one and there's like another bombing somewhere he's like shit it's like a death note in a drawer and it's like, that couldn't have been me. So he pulls another one and there's another bombing somewhere. He's like, shit. It's like a death note in a drawer and it just sets bombs off. But it's just strings? Death string. Just little yarn.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Just little strings of yarn. What would have been a lot more interesting of Death Note was just like instead of a book, he had a drawer of colorful yarn and he'd pull one and it would do something funny somewhere. Like nothing even deadly. It would make a clown honk sound in like a random street and everybody would go, what?
Starting point is 00:26:30 And it would like throw a pie in like an old man's face somewhere. And then that would be it. Like there's no explanation. It's not like, aha, this big, this big, uh,
Starting point is 00:26:38 plot that's being fleshed out. It's just a bunch of funny. There is still like a special police task force to try and figure out who's making all of these silly things happen. The world's gotten too silly too fast. Someone must be behind it. Like people are slipping on banana peels. People are getting pied in the face.
Starting point is 00:26:55 Like this is not okay. Water's being squirted in people's faces. They think it's a flower. They go up to it to smell it right in their fucking eye. Have you ever been sprayed in the face by one of those little joke flowers? You're like, I haven't because I've never had the opportunity to smell a flower on someone's chest. No one's ever in smoke hoos. I don't know that I've ever seen one of those in real life.
Starting point is 00:27:17 I haven't either. They're featured heavily in cartoons from the 1920s and 30s. This NHL season, get more excitement out of every slap shot with FanDuel, North America's number one sportsbook. from the 1920s and 30s. With FanDuel's quick payouts, you can get paid faster than a breakaway. Make every moment more with FanDuel, official partner of the NHL. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Navigating adulting isn't always easy. You're not just working, you're working late. And dinner dates are all, what's your five-year plan?
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Starting point is 00:28:45 started the more time your down payment has to grow open an account today at questrade.com the closest thing i've ever come to like seeing those things in real life is that like a japanese uh grill where they'll like cook in front of you and stuff and then they have the fake ketchup bottle and i've squirted at someone. They have that little tube that comes out. Yeah, it's like red yarn and you squirt it. And it looks like ketchup flying out. And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Starting point is 00:29:12 And then you realize it's just string and it goes back. Right back in the bottle. Yeah, that's one of my strings. That's one of the strings I pull. I'm waiting for the time he just accidentally just squirts ketchup on someone. Or someone replaced the... See, now that's a prank on a prankster. And those are the best kinds of pranks.
Starting point is 00:29:29 Or like, I'm waiting for him to like do the whole catch the shrimp bit, except there's like a little bit of just boiling hot oil and water just flying right behind the shrimp into someone's mouth. We should have a hot grease drinking contest. Oh, perfect.
Starting point is 00:29:47 I think that's like, I think if we want to get good views on this channel, hot oil drinking contest. Dude. Nathan, you want to be part of it? I can tell you, have you guys ever done like one of those like spicy pepper eating challenges
Starting point is 00:29:59 or anything like that? Yeah, we were actually on a channel called Hot Pepper Gaming where we had to like review a game right after eating a habanero pepper. Yeah, and sometimes when you eat a pepper, it comes out the other end. Oh, speaking of coming out the other end,
Starting point is 00:30:13 I'm about to shit my pants. Okay, Nathan, it's just going to be you and me for a little bit because Ryan's got another emergency. Ryan's having some form of crisis right now. Wow. Ryan, what if this was like a live podcast and you were on stage right now? Would you have to just get up and leave? 100%. I'm not gonna
Starting point is 00:30:29 shit my pants on stage. Alright, well, do we continue? Do you edit this or do we just continue? No, no, we continue, Nathan. This is on-tribe. We continue on. What's the topic, Ryan? Race relations. And we're not talking about that.
Starting point is 00:30:48 Well, we've got we talked about Trump, Michelle Bachman, and now race relations is good. This is. Yeah, this is great. This is the type of professionalism that you come to expect on this podcast. Ryan, you know, is, you know, trying to get diapers for him. He refuses to wear them, but here we are. Now it's just a podcast with your boy Matt Watson. Got Nathan here.
Starting point is 00:31:12 Got Nathan. It's a good thing I got off of Ryan's shoulder before he went to the bathroom. Yeah, that would have been a bad thing if he took you with him by accident. We have another small friend. He did that once, and it was not fun for the small person. No, he probably didn't appreciate that very much.
Starting point is 00:31:28 But yeah, I mean, I remember when Drawfee was but a wee little channel, a me of a channel. I ate a ghost pepper in order to try and get more views and subscribers. And yeah, it does. It comes out the other end. And I would say that part's worse. I would actually agree with that because after I ate that habanero,
Starting point is 00:31:56 I experienced that and it was not fun in the slightest. I would say it is worse, yeah. At the time, Caldwell was my boss and so he told me I didn't have to come in the next day. And I was like, the worst part's over. I'll be fine. And then I just remember waking up the next morning just like, oh, no. It hits you, man. It's like you'll be fine.
Starting point is 00:32:17 It's like someone stabbed a dagger into your abdomen, and you're like, this is not fun. And then what follows is really not fun. Just sort of face down in the shower crying. Yeah, absolutely. You need like cold water all over your body. Ryan is back. I don't know how you completed that task that quickly. Slippery, fast, ready to move.
Starting point is 00:32:38 I'm back. I was ready to go. All right, Ryan. Well, welcome back to the podcast, Ryan. Did I interrupt something? No, no, no. We're just talking about eating hot peppers oh yeah it's fun
Starting point is 00:32:47 you kind of develop a lust for peppers you do like we work in our office we have a friend that works with us named Vernon and he's like the pepper guy and he loves peppers he's got a huge hot sauce collection he was the guy that ran that channel hot pepper gaming
Starting point is 00:33:03 that we went on and he can just like eat just peppers like it's nothing. If you name a spicy pepper, he's tried it. He's had a Carolina Reaper, which is the hottest pepper in existence, I believe. And someone actually mailed us to our P.O. box a couple of those, which we have not eaten yet. I don't know if we will. Because I feel like with certain peppers, you can actually end up going to the hospital.
Starting point is 00:33:28 Right. If your body's not ready for it. Yeah. I just had the one little ghost pepper and that was enough to put me out of commission for a day. I don't know how much more my body would have been able to take. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:44 It's interesting. the ghost pepper, the flavor of it is, it tastes very similar to paprika. Really? And yeah, it's like paprika plus pain is the flavor. So it's anytime something tastes strongly of paprika, I'm just- You like PTSD? Yeah, a little flashback happens. I'm like, uh-oh. Could you imagine being like a big old hairy fucking caveman just trying to hunt and gather shit?
Starting point is 00:34:14 And all of a sudden you pick up this delicious looking pepper thing. Peppers look delicious. And you take a bite and it just ruins your day. It really just ruins your day. Yeah, because you don't get to call in sick from hunting. You don't get to eat. You still have to go out to the big mammoth hunt at 6 o'clock. You can't be like, sorry, guys, I got to sit this one out because you will die.
Starting point is 00:34:35 And seriously, if I was a caveman and I saw a bunch of peppers growing, they look like candy, man. They look delicious. You look at a pepper, it's bright colored. Honestly, way back in the day if you saw it it probably looks poisonous i wouldn't have eaten it well yeah usually bright colors is like a warning for poisonous stuff like i know that's why it's like a lot of frogs are like hey look at me yeah exactly and then like when you when you take a bite you would immediately be like this is definitely poison because my mouth might i'm
Starting point is 00:35:02 gonna die i'd if i was a caveman i took a bite of a pepper. I would think that I was dying because I'm like, this shouldn't be happening. I'd like give my last words to my like son and like my wife and my unborn cave daughter. And then I just look like a big old wuss. At the end of the day, just sweating, tearing.
Starting point is 00:35:20 Yeah. Just snot. Yeah, man. And Ryan just ate a fucking pepper out there in the wilderness. And he said his goodbyes and then shit his pants, and now he's back leading the big old mammoth hunt. Yeah, that'd be embarrassing. You'd have to be like, just don't tell anyone about this, all right?
Starting point is 00:35:34 And also, on top of like, you know, like the thing about, like what's the evolutionary benefit of peppers being spicy? Is it so they don't die? They don't get eaten? Like, what's the point? Like, you know, like they had to have evolved to be spicy for a reason. Right? Why are peppers
Starting point is 00:35:52 hot? You're going to be like because of capsaicin. Yeah capsaicin. Oh man we have some hot sauce here at the office called flash bang and it's like 2.5 or 3 million Scoville units which Scoville units are like the measurement of spiciness. I think a habanero is 150,000 to 300,000,
Starting point is 00:36:09 and this is 2.5 million to 3 million, this sauce. And a music video Ryan and I did called My Two Lovely Uncles, there's a part where I'm in tears in that video, and in order to get realistic tears, I had to dip the corner, like one little prong of a fork in this hot sauce. Just barely dip it and then touch it to my tongue. Well, it's the perfect method. I did that when Daniel and I were shooting a Cyndago video and I had to cry at this graveyard.
Starting point is 00:36:36 Oh, yeah. And so like just the way something spicy affects you, it makes your face red your eyes water yeah you like just become very just like sniffly and so you can if you can act cry then it and you can't really nail the presentation down yeah just eat a pepper that's that's my advice if you combine like good crying acting with uh the effects of something spicy you have perfect crying like you got it down and it's not fun to be honest like when we were shooting that video
Starting point is 00:37:11 I was in front of the green screen and my mouth was my mouth and my throat and my lips were burning and I was just you were there Ryan you remember I was not having fun why learn how to act cry when you can just torture yourself you can cry real tears but it looks great like it when you can just torture yourself? Real cry, yeah. You can cry real tears. But it looks great.
Starting point is 00:37:26 Like, it looks, like, you can't really beat it. It looks authentic. Yeah. Because, you know, your face gets red, you know, like what you said. And it really, it's not something I would do again. I actually had to do it twice for the video. And I don't know if you remember, the second time I had a little more. And I started going, like, numb in my hands and my feet.
Starting point is 00:37:43 And I started freaking out. Because I thought I was having, like, an allergic reaction. And we had to stop filming for a little bit. And I had to, like my hands and my feet, and I started freaking out because I thought I was having an allergic reaction, and we had to stop filming for a little bit, and I had to sit down on the floor. I guess you can chalk it up to being a little wimp, but it was the numbing of the extremities. I didn't realize I was coming on the podcast with such a little wimp. Nathan? Such a big old baby.
Starting point is 00:38:00 Nathan? Just a big little baby, that's all I'm saying. Nathan, are you in New York is that where you're located I am yeah I will fly to New York to teach you a lesson one on one in the ring in the octagon oh boy but I'm so
Starting point is 00:38:16 wait I'm in New York but I'm also on your shoulder we've got a lot of headcanon going for this episode Nathan has a split soul he's able to have a small version of himself like his holy spirit yeah exactly
Starting point is 00:38:31 he's on my shoulder the hub Nathan like the real Nathan that the small version returns to is in New York City yeah perfect got it we got this back story down I have a question for you my boy who was in New York City. Perfect. Got it. We got this backstory down. I have a question for you, my boy, who lives in New York. I've never been to New York.
Starting point is 00:38:51 Never ever? Never ever ever. You living there and not just being from the tourist state of mind, as a tourist in New York, what should I actually pay attention to and go see and what are some good eateries around the area? Places to eat that you would recommend. I actually, I think I asked Nathan, not you, man. Well, I'm just saying
Starting point is 00:39:09 well, I mean, okay. Sure. No, why don't you fill this one? I was just gonna say like, I think as a tourist, just take a picture of every taxi you see. I think, yeah, uh, like as a tourist, like I can tell you uh, just my experience observing tourists they really like, like I can tell you just my experience observing tourists.
Starting point is 00:39:28 They really like a good thing to do as a tourist. Have a bunch of other friends with you and sort of try and stand shoulder to shoulder. Take up as much horizontal space on the sidewalk as you can. And just stop every so often. Just like stop and look around. Wait, can we like link arm in arm and like pretend we're in some like fun teen fantasy movie where we're all like having a good time and we're like, we're only looking through the perception of our selfishness and not anyone else's wants and needs.
Starting point is 00:40:02 Yeah, just a real slow sort of frolic or skip down the boulevard. Lots of, I mean, get gear up. Get a lot of Hamilton gear. A lot of iHeartNY stuff. Oh, you need the iHeartNY shirt. You need that. A large backpack.
Starting point is 00:40:19 A large backpack. Don't take the backpack off when you're on the subway. Keep it on. Oh, the subway. I've actually, several episodes of this podcast, I have talked about the New York subway. So I'm sure the viewers know my opinion on it. It's gross. It's pretty gross. I mean, should I go up to the Statue of Liberty and like with my 30 friends that I have and each take a picture of us pretending like we're holding the statue?
Starting point is 00:40:44 That's a great idea. That's real fun. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's a fun, that's a fun little, uh, gimmick. You could also, uh, if you've got 30 friends, you could all try like stacking up on each other's shoulders. And reach the top of the Statue of Liberty.
Starting point is 00:40:57 See if you can reach the top. Yeah. Like you're high-fiving the Statue of Liberty. Yeah. Oh yeah. But in real life. Yeah. That'd be fantastic.
Starting point is 00:41:03 I've never been to the, I mean, I've seen it, but it's on an island, so I never went to it. It's like, oh, there's the Statue of Liberty. Well, this is just a real tip, is you can take the Staten Island Ferry. That's free. And you can just go, it takes you out. You get to see the skyline. You get to see the Statue of Liberty. And then you're in Staten Island.
Starting point is 00:41:20 I'm a fool. And then you can take the ferry back. I didn't know that. You're a damn fool, man. I'm a damn... Mama raised a damn fool, I guess. Nathan, how long have you been living in New York? I guess about six years now. So you... When did they
Starting point is 00:41:33 stop... Was that after 9-11 when they stopped letting people in? And, like, going up? Or do they still allow people to go up into the Statue of Liberty? I don't know. I've never been up there. Could you go and ask for us real quick?
Starting point is 00:41:49 I'll go. Yeah, let me go. We'll just pause the podcast. We'll wait. It'll be like when you went to the bathroom. I'll just go. You keep talking. Except it'll be like two hours before you get back. I'd say probably more with New York City traffic and stuff. I don't know. I'd say probably more with New York City traffic and stuff.
Starting point is 00:42:05 I don't know. Yeah, and I am very little as we've established. That's going to take a lot of steps. I got to take a lot of steps, yeah. But, you know, I get my step count up. Hey, man. You can hitchhike on someone's skateboard or like sprawl out on their bike and so you're spinning really fast. That would be terrifying.
Starting point is 00:42:24 If I was small and like a bicycle fast. That would be terrifying. If I was small and like a bicycle spoke, that would be terrifying. I can't think of anything that would like be more uncomfortable. Every day is like going to an amusement park when you're a little guy. Did you guys ever like put like a playing card
Starting point is 00:42:40 in your bicycle tire so when you drove your bicycle, it sounded like a motorcycle? I never did that. No. I just said when you drive your bicycle tire, so when you drove your bicycle, it sounded like a motorcycle. I never did that, no. I just said when you drive your bicycle. I'm going to go drive my bicycle. Yeah, of course. Going out for a short drive.
Starting point is 00:42:53 See you later, losers. When you said when you're small, every day is like an amusement park ride, I just pictured this faux news article of talking about little people. One of the big quotes they have, you know how they make quotes big and bold in the middle of the article? Yeah, like the ones that stand out.
Starting point is 00:43:13 When you're small, every day is just like an amusement park ride. Again, we're not talking about actual little people. We're talking about fantastically small. Really small, pint-sized. I'm proud of you, Nathan. You used not talking about uh like actual little people we're talking about fantastically yeah small like really small like pint-sized and i'm i'm proud of you nathan you used the correct vernacular in it right there you weren't offensive by the way just letting you know thank you little person is the way to go nathan i give you a small pat on the back with my with my index finger oh thank
Starting point is 00:43:42 you yeah very strong you have a very strong index finger. Thank you. I've been working out my hands specifically. Strong yet tender. I've been wondering, if I want to get strong hands, can I work out my hands? Yeah, with that thing
Starting point is 00:43:54 that a bunch of men used to have. I hate that thing, man. They're the perfect device for uncles. I think every uncle I have had one of those. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah, you sit and watch TV as soon as you're in the delivery room with your family and the doctor comes out and is like, it's a boy.
Starting point is 00:44:14 Are you the uncle? Here you go. Man, like the hands are one of those like, you know, people go to the gym, they have leg day, they have core day. People need to start paying attention, like, oh, man, it's hand day. Or, like, it's jaw day. Your hands are important. You get a little slit on your palm, your hand's not going to be as useful as it was.
Starting point is 00:44:36 No, it's going to be a big ouchie. For, like, a few weeks. Like, any hand injury is a significantly long-lasting injury because your hands are so dainty. They're not really protected well. Yeah. For being so useful. We need an exoskeleton on our hands. And you draw all the time so how does it feel that your little dainty hands are flapping in the wind all the time?
Starting point is 00:44:56 Yeah, Nathan's little dainty hands. Yeah, I mean I have to bundle them up before I go out into the world. Do you wear mittens constantly? What? You wear mittens constantly? Yeah. What? You wear mittens constantly, right? Yeah, I wear mittens, um, uh, several layers of mittens, uh, at all times.
Starting point is 00:45:15 I'm either, I'm either drawing or wearing mittens are, are my two modes. Mittens are, like, probably the most, like, uh, in, in terms of, like, of like useful like the least useful thing you could possibly own excuse me? like why not gloves it renders your fingers like inept when you wear mittens but they're more cushiony you can still grab onto things you just need your thumb
Starting point is 00:45:38 what do you need gloves for? because I can use my digits while keeping my hands warm yeah but like your digits form a mitten when you grab things you're already a mitten that turns me into Gumby if I wear mittens because then I just have
Starting point is 00:45:53 it's still the same grasp as you would look at this look at the form as if I was grabbing a cup that's a mitten form that's for grabbing a cup Ryan what if I need to do stuff like this why would you need to twiddle your thing when I'm wearing mittens? You can't see what he's doing right now, Nathan, but he's like, Because you use your fucking fingers!
Starting point is 00:46:10 Why are you wearing mittens in an indoor establishment? If it's a cold, you know, one of those cold rooms to keep the computers cold. Exactly. I think the chances of you doing your editing... The chances of you doing your editing in a Ralph's freezer is very low.
Starting point is 00:46:28 You don't know my life. You don't know what I could be doing a year from now. You just want to be prepared. I understand. But that's the thing. Mittens all the way, dude. Yes, they're comfortable. Mittens are comfortable, I do have to say.
Starting point is 00:46:39 But it's basically like wearing oven mitts everywhere. Then get those mittens where you take them off. But then your fingers are going to be cold. That defeats the purpose. What are you talking about? If you take it off, your fingers are exposed. Then there's still gloves underneath. Oh, I thought you were talking about the type where you just open it and your fingers are exposed.
Starting point is 00:46:54 No, just the tops of your fingers. Well, then they're getting cold. Oh, it's not even that bad. Then just wear gloves. It solves the problem if you just wear gloves. You're such a big baby. I'm not a big baby. It solves the problem if you just wear gloves.
Starting point is 00:47:03 I'm such a big baby. Then your digits can work like they're supposed to and you keep your hands warm at the same time and you don't have to convert your mittens into some special thing
Starting point is 00:47:12 where your fingers are exposed to the elements. I'm sorry wearing mittens is too much of a task for you, Matt. It adds one little extra step. I'm sorry, Nathan. This is... I love that this is
Starting point is 00:47:25 what has gotten the most heated debate on the show is mittens versus gloves. I'm pissed off. I think this is important. I think... Do the commenters
Starting point is 00:47:36 ever weigh in? Yeah. Absolutely. They're all gonna side with Matt. Why would they always side with you? Why would they side with me? Team gloves.
Starting point is 00:47:43 All right, guys. Hashtag gloves or team gloves or team mittens. We need to put an end to this. Nathan, what about... What are you? side with you? Why would they side with me? Team gloves. All right, guys. Hashtag team gloves or team mittens. We need to put an end to this. Nathan, what about you? Are you a mitten glove hybrid? Are you a mittens person or are you a gloves person? I mean, as we've established, again, in the head canon we've established on this episode, I wear several layers of mittens because I'm not...
Starting point is 00:48:02 Yeah. I either need my hands unfettered completely or fully protected. So I'm not trying to perform any tasks in the outside world. You're a mitten man. I'm shaking my head right now.
Starting point is 00:48:18 I'm shaking my head in disapproval, Nathan. I put on a glove and then I put on a mitten over the glove, and then I put my gloved mitten hand in my pocket, and I do not remove it until I'm at my destination. That sounds actually really comfortable and very warm. Like, if you lived in, like, Siberia, that sounds fantastic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could even put one of those little, like, hand warmer things in there, which I bought one recently and put it in my shoes.
Starting point is 00:48:44 Oh, for sure, like what the quarterbacks use? Yeah, yeah I was in I was in uh I was at Mount Fuji and it was very cold so I put one of those warmers in my shoe and it just did not work and then my toes were still very cold. How was Mount Fuji? It was wonderful it was great it was beautiful it's a big old mountain. I want to travel yeah. I looked and I was like
Starting point is 00:49:00 that's a that's a big that's a big hill that's a big mountain right there. That's a big hill that's how Ryan described it he was like it's just a big hill and it is. That's all it is. It's a big mountain right there. That's how Ryan described it. He was like, it's just a big hill, and it is. That's all it is. It is. Two plates came together. They went and created this fucking big hill. It's where the earth's huge.
Starting point is 00:49:13 Two plates kissed each other and then created a little baby. That's where it sits. I did not realize before agreeing to do this just how educational of a program I was coming on a man research I would have I would have gotten some factoids. I man have you ever felt tectonic plate shifting Nathan No, there was one there was an earthquake I went to the University of Maryland and there was an earthquake in Maryland While I was there and I slept through it. So I woke up and went on Facebook and everybody was like, holy
Starting point is 00:49:48 shit, did you feel that? Every post was about the earthquake that had just happened. I was like, I don't know what I don't know what's going on. That happens to me every time. I want to feel an earthquake but I never do. Have you ever felt one? I don't know. They're cool. I do have to say I felt, Ryan, in the last month I have felt two
Starting point is 00:50:04 semi-large earthquakes. Just in the last month, I have felt two semi-large earthquakes just in the last month. In Glendale? One in Tokyo, one in Glendale. Like there was actually like a pretty, it felt like two shotgun blasts. I was sitting on the couch at 2 a.m. at a friend's house and it went. This was, wait, in? Glendale. Okay.
Starting point is 00:50:19 You were out of town. You were in like the Bay Area, I think. Gosh darn it. Yeah, you always seem to just miss it. Like it's always like right when you go out of town, which every time I go out of town. You were in like the Bay Area, I think. Gosh darn it. Yeah, you always seem to just miss it. It's always like right when you go out of town, which every time I go out of town, it rains in Los Angeles, and I love the rain. It's like the day after I leave town, God's like,
Starting point is 00:50:33 hey, come to New York. We got plenty. There's no rain in Los Angeles minus two days ago when it rained. Imagine the weird show. You know how they have tornado hunters? Imagine like an earthquake hunters, but you can't actually predict earthquakes at all, really.
Starting point is 00:50:48 So it's just them going, yep. Maybe here. Not this episode. They just go and like sit near the San Andreas fault with like a microphone. Maybe it'll happen. Maybe. Each episode just also there's like a little Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Starting point is 00:51:04 Did you measure that? That was just my phone. That was just my phone. I think it's just a plane. Imagine just one where they're just chasing like rainstorms. Just like they're like, is that thunder? Oh, rain, rain, rain. No, no. Like really?
Starting point is 00:51:18 People chasing rain in Los Angeles. That's just the most mundane. I would love to be a part of that. I just like, I want rain. I like, Los Angeles would be perfect to me if there were two things. If there was more rain and less traffic. What are rain tornadoes called? Why do you?
Starting point is 00:51:32 You know what I mean? What are those called? There's rain tornadoes? Yeah, there's like, they happened on Lake Murray every now and then. Oh, water spouts. Yeah. Rain tornadoes. I didn't know the name.
Starting point is 00:51:41 That's why I was asking. Those wet tornadoes. Wet tornadoes. They should be called wet tornadoes Instead of water spouts that's such a good name Cause then they would have like dust cyclones Whatever Dust devils Hey dust cyclone that's exactly what it is
Starting point is 00:51:56 That's a more technical name than dust devil Not to be confused with dirt devil Which is just an excellent product Or the Tasmanian devil Or the Tasmanian devil Well Or the Tasmanian Devil. Well, he's closer to a Dust Devil because he does have the tornado bottom. He's like... Imagine the Tasmanian Devil on a radio interview back in 1987 and he says something real bad.
Starting point is 00:52:20 And now he's out of the spotlight now because he's like, I don't want to bring attention to myself because that's definitely going to eventually come out and ruin my career I just I want to see more of him I like his character design I like his character in general your impression was fantastic thank you could you do it again for me I thought he was in the studio just based on the sound yeah I thought I was watching Looney Tunes yeah
Starting point is 00:52:39 do it for me right do it for me are you ready yeah ready for the Tasmanian Tiger Devil Tasmanian Tiger Devil I do it for me are you ready yeah ready for the Tasmanian tiger devil Tasmanian tiger devil I'm ready for it man okay ready hold on one second
Starting point is 00:52:54 sorry he's gotta hype himself up now what do you want out of him like what emotion do you think I should I should portray
Starting point is 00:53:01 passion right passion passion like sexual passion, Nathan? It could be sexual. That's up to Nathan. Just like a passion for a project, like a summer workshop or something.
Starting point is 00:53:12 Building, fixing up a car with his old man. Yeah. Or you could even combine those two. That scene in Space Jam where he cleans up the gym for everybody. Oh, okay, okay. So I'm channeling kind of like an inner passion of cleanliness. Yeah. Okay, so I'm channeling kind of like an inner passion of cleanliness.
Starting point is 00:53:25 Yeah. Okay, here we go. Funny, funny, funny, funny noise. There we go. There it is. Holy shit. Okay, I just had the... There it is. If you can't see it right now, audience, but Nathan is
Starting point is 00:53:43 fully naked cheering in our Skype call. Nathan, put some clothes on, buddy. I very slowly took off my clothes. I didn't even notice it. I just looked and you were naked. You have a nice chiseled form. It's like it was sculpted by God himself. I'm in the Skype call now.
Starting point is 00:54:00 I'm not the little version. We've got a lot of versions of me floating around. But you, it's like it's a duo thing. You got little version you Skyping and little version you here in person just in case he needs to bat us around a little bit if we're not treating
Starting point is 00:54:17 you fairly. I'm so confused. The one that is in person with you guys is fully closed. I would never disrobe in person without affirmative consent. We are giving you affirmative consent right now that if you I would never disrobe in person without affirmative consent. We are giving you affirmative consent right now. If you'd like to disrobe, you can. Take it off, Nathan. There go my pants.
Starting point is 00:54:31 They're gone. There's his little penis. That's a small penis. I'm only saying little because it's small. It's proportionate. It's proportionate. That's a little proportionate penis. Well, that's a proportionate penis.
Starting point is 00:54:42 Yeah, it's not a little proportionate penis. The adjective I personally would use because I'm of normal, I guess, status, human status, would be a little penis. Just average? Yeah. Average penis? It's an average guy we got. Imagine if on your driver's license you had to list your penis size.
Starting point is 00:55:04 Like what a world we would live in if that was – It's like the sizes – The diameter. But you get to choose the adjective you want to use. It's not like – it's not a measurement. It's just petite. Petite. Small, sub-average, average.
Starting point is 00:55:22 You have to go into coffee sizes. Yeah. Venti, grotty. All Venti. Yeah, you get to choose your own scale. I like sizes. Yeah. Venti, grante. Call Venti. Yeah, you get to choose your own scale. Petite. Petite's such a good one.
Starting point is 00:55:29 I've never heard a penis described as petite but that's like Just go to France. Fun size. Oh, that's great. That's a fantastic way. From now on
Starting point is 00:55:40 I'm going to only describe my penis as petite to people like So, what you packing? It's a petite rose penis. This is my little petite pecker. I think I just said it was a small pink penis. Is rose pink or red?
Starting point is 00:55:55 I can't remember. In French? I took French lessons in elementary school here, okay? Rose is probably red because in Spanish it's roja? Okay. Is that how you say it? Nathan, help. You speak Spanish. I don't.
Starting point is 00:56:09 Why did you tell us you spoke Spanish before the podcast started? We've told so many lies. That's our podcast, Nathan. That's all our podcast is. Oh yeah, I speak Spanish. Red is... Roja. I think it's Roja. Right?
Starting point is 00:56:24 Spanish speakers in the comments, back me up on this one, even if I'm wrong. Just help it from my self-esteem. Rojo? Rojo. Sounds like a Pokemon. So what's it in French? We're just making them look up. Come on, come on, boy. Nathan's our little monkey helper to look things up.
Starting point is 00:56:41 Rouge. Rouge, not rose. What's rose? Is rose something? Rose is a flower I thought Rose was something in French It's probably not It's probably pronounced like Rose I'm looking it up
Starting point is 00:56:57 Rouge Rouge is that sexy character from Sonic Yeah it is pink Rouge of the Bat Rose Is the color halfway between red and magenta. Well, yeah, duh. But in French...
Starting point is 00:57:09 Go on Google Translate. Type rose. Pink is rose. Boom. I just solved it, Nathan. I solved it. The mystery has been solved, Nathan. Pink in French is rose? Yeah. I like that. That makes sense. Because roses are red.
Starting point is 00:57:27 Violets are blue. This podcast is ending. Nathan, thank you. We love you. Oh. Well, we also do love you, Nathan. Nathan. This was the edgiest conversation I think I've ever had outside of our Cards Against Humanity episodes.
Starting point is 00:57:41 Amen. Of Drawfee. Glad we could supply you with that. We got to talk about penises, bears, and Michelle Bachman somehow. This is the Serrated Edge podcast. Yeah. This is the steak knife podcast. Well, Nathan, thank you so much for coming on, man.
Starting point is 00:58:01 Where can people find you? You can find me on Twitter. I don't tweet a lot, but I am at Nathan Yaffe. That's the word at Nathan Yaffe on there. But more importantly, Drawfee on YouTube. It's the YouTube channel that I run with a bunch of my fun illustrator friends here at College Humor in Dorkly. And we take dumb ideas. We make even dumber drawings.
Starting point is 00:58:30 We had you guys on recently, and that was a real treat. And we've been having a lot of guests on lately. So maybe you'll find an episode with someone whose name you recognize and start there and uh start exploring our our catalog uh of content yeah and you all and i think you mentioned you also had was it a dnd oh my my co-host caldwell has a has a dnd show yeah okay called not not another dnd podcast you can listen to that maybe i'll be on that we'll just bleep that out sorry I got that mixed up
Starting point is 00:59:07 we don't want to give him any credit because he did not show up he did not come on our podcast we said please come on our podcast and he was like his job at Disney he said you have less subscribers than my YouTube channel I'm not coming on your stupid show and I was like alright
Starting point is 00:59:21 he got very offended that we would even suggest that he would want to come on. We're not like that small, but I guess he just didn't want to. He wouldn't do it. Not as small as Nathan. He said, Nathan, you're a small-sized person, so you should go on this small-sized YouTube channel. Not as petite as Nathan. Yes. From now on, when I hear the word petite, I'm going to only think of it in terms of penis size.
Starting point is 00:59:45 Thank you for that, Nathan. It starts with the same two letters. That's true. Just an association there. Well, yeah. Thank you so much for coming on, Nathan. Everyone, check out. Links are in the description for Nathan and his stuff and his channel.
Starting point is 01:00:02 We love you. It's been a very fun experience. Go check out our Drawfee episode on his channel. We love you. It's been a very fun experience. And go check out our Drawfee episode on that channel. Very fun stuff. Link is also in the description. Yes. And thank you to our sponsor. Insert sponsor name here.
Starting point is 01:00:17 Thank you so much. You can check us out on iTunes. Yeah, fantastic sponsor. You can get our podcast on iTunes. Wonderful sponsor. Come on. Come on. I hope everyone is
Starting point is 01:00:27 clapping at home along with us. Thanks so much, guys. We will see you next week. Bye. Thank you.

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