supermegashow - EP 84 - IncelMega

Episode Date: March 25, 2018

We talk Jared Fogle, the apartment of the future, and incels. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Yo, Ryan, what's 80 plus 4? 84. That's the episode, guys. 84? Episode number 84 of Super Mega Cast, the official Super Mega Podcast. There's knockoffs out there, but they're not the real super mega podcast.

This is the real super mega podcast. The super mega cast, the one with Matt Watson and Ryan McGee. You got it. You know, this is an easily brandable podcast because the name is nonsensical. And in search engines, if you type it in,

it's going to be like one of the only things that pops up. It's going to be the first thing I think, but Hey guys, hope you're doing well whenever you're listening to this. Ryan and I have so many fun topics prepared to talk about today. An unbelievably huge amount of excellent topics that are going to

stimulate your ear things and make you... Possibly could stimulate your prostate. Because the vibrations could probably rattle the prostate like a coconut on a tree. You know, if you got a small enough speaker, you could put it up your ass. If you attach a speaker to a tree, the coconut's going to be affected by that vibration. It might fall sooner than it may have before.

And if you're in the right position, it will hit you square in the prostate. Yeah. That would be quite the setup. More of like the coconut and tree as a metaphor for your prostate. The coconut being the prostate. Yeah. That would be quite the setup. I was using more of like the coconut and tree as a metaphor for your prostate. The coconut being the prostate. But anyway, guys, before we get into it, why don't we take a minute to, you know, everyone's

favorite part of the podcast. Thank our sponsor. MeUndies. I'm wearing them right now. Let's go! You've heard us talk about MeUndies, and you know we're big believers in their product. Every month they have a new and exciting print and they arrive at your door in a fun bag. Is that a selling point? MeUndies uses lensing, micromodal, and their underwear.

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My stepdad Jim never used to wear underwear at all. Only his lucky pair of leather overalls. Now your stepdad has MeUndies, Ryan, and he doesn't even have to wear those leather overalls anymore. He just wears MeUndies now. Only MeUndies, but it's a good look for him. Yeah. For any first-time purchasers, when you purchase any MeUndies,

you get 20% off and free shipping. Stop. 20% off and free shipping? That's right, 20% off and free shipping. Stop. Go to MeUndies.com slash SuperMega. That's MeUndies.com slash SuperMega. That's MeUndies.com slash SuperMega.

That was a good commercial, wasn't it, Ryan? It was great. Did you enjoy it as much as I did? I did. How about Jim? Jim, he doesn't know that we use him in the commercials, but his life is better by all the products that we supply him with. I mean, that's the reason we take these brand deals, simply so

we can help your stepdad have a better life. Yeah. And it really is working out for him. He's doing great. It's working well. It really is. But, guys. We didn't.

Let's talk the Oscars. Because it's been like two weeks now. And we didn't get a chance to discuss what we thought about the gosh darn Oscars. Ryan, let's get into it. Tell me. We're like the C into it. Tell me, okay. We're like the Cucksters. What? You know what I'm saying?

Don't call them that. Okay. Go and tell me about the Oscars. What did you think? I thought it was decent. Is that your full review? Too many commercials. Yeah, I mean, those-

It's a three-hour fucking event that could be cut down to like an hour, I think. Just so many commercials. That's how the Super Bowl is, and that's how, I mean, that's how like any, even like news channels- They have to sell that ad space. They gotta many commercials. That's how the Super Bowl is and that's how I mean that's how like any even like news channels They have to sell that ad space. They gotta make money.

Dude, they gotta make money. That's what it's all about. You watch the Weather Channel they'll show you like 30 seconds of like weather and then like 2 minutes of commercials and then 30 seconds of weather

2 minutes of commercials. It's great. I mean that's how it works unfortunately. I mean you guys gotta hear it on this podcast. I guess the Oscars just like every year there are good movies that don't get mentioned.

And then Best Picture is usually something that you're like, only every now and then does a Best Picture is given to a movie where I'm like, yes, that deserved it. I think 20. Like last year. Last year, yeah. I think Moonlight definitely deserved Best Picture. This year, the Best Picture did deserve it. I'm not saying it didn't deserve it, but my pick would have been different. What would your pick have been?

I really, really just liked Three Billboards outside of Ebbing, Missouri. I thought I, too, enjoyed Three Billboards outside of Ebbing, Missouri. I think best picture probably should have gone to Boo 2 on Madea Halloween. Oh, yeah. You know. I think it got snubbed a little bit. It went to Razzie or something, didn't it? Did it really?

I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised. It was in the Razzie's, I'm sure. Oh, of course it was nominated. Ryan, can we take a break from the podcast so I could sneeze? Okay. Oh, no. I'm losing it. Here it comes, boys and girls. I'm losing it. No, I'm losing it. No. Ryan, can we take a break from the podcast so I can sneeze? Okay. Oh, no. I'm losing it.

Here it comes, boys and girls. I'm losing it. No, I'm losing it. No, no, no. That's the worst feeling. Now you don't have satisfaction. I don't, dude. There's nothing worse besides death and a breakup that is worse than a...

But the sneeze comes third. It goes death, breakup, losing a sneeze it is it is one of the worst things it seriously is man like there's nothing more just ah fourth is rape rape but like i don't know about you but i'm one of the i'm one of the people like some people sneeze when they look at bright lights um Yeah, I do. Well, mostly like the sun. Yeah, if you look at the sun, you sneeze. It's a genetic thing. And every now and then I'll be with someone and I'll have to sneeze,

so I'll look at the sun or a bright light and they'll be like, what the, what are you doing? And they've never heard of it. And I'm like, oh, when I look at bright light, it makes me sneeze. You were telling me about that. Is it only like with certain people? Yeah, it's like a genetic thing. I think like two out of every five.

We're one of the weak ones, dude. No, it means we're one of the strong ones. No. We're the mutation that needs to get kicked out. The sun's going to kill us before others. No, dude. One day we're going to sneeze and our eyes are going to pop out. Nope.

I can explain this to you, Ryan. Think about this. Why do you sneeze? You sneeze because there's germs. Your body wants to go, go away. Yeah, it's getting rid of bad things that are inside of your nasal passage. So maybe we're actually in the long grand scheme of what you're saying, so evolution is on our side. Yeah, because basically we have it to our advantage.

Our body, it purges bad germs and stuff because when it sees bright light, it's just like, sure, let's get rid of some of this bad stuff. The other people that don't sneeze when they see bright light, they're going to have those germs and stuff inside their body. We're not going to. No. So you and I, we're good. Yeah, we're good. We don't sneeze when they see bright light, they're going to have those germs and stuff inside their body. We're not going to. No. So you and I, we're good. Yeah, we're good. We don't have to worry about anything. So I think evolutionarily, you and I are on top.

So give me a high five for that one. High five. High five. But back to the Oscars. Yeah. How many of the nominees or did you see any of the stuff? I watched 0% of the Oscars this year. I'm not talking about the Oscars.

I'm talking about the movies. I know you don't watch the Oscars. What were the... I was really out of the loop with the Oscars. You saw The Post. That was in there. I did.

I saw The Post. You didn't see Shape of Water. Did not see Shape of Water. You saw Three Billboards. Saw Three Billboards. Saw Get Out. I saw Get Out. Get Out was in the Oscars.

It won Best Original Screenplay. Okay. Jordan Peele won an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. I liked Get Out a lot. I think it's good. I think it should deserve that. It was a good movie. Director well-deserved, Guillermo del Toro.

Mr. Del Toro for Pacific Rim 2. They gave it to him preemptively. He's only producing that one. Wait, he's what? I think he's only producing that one. Oh, he didn't write Pacific Rim 2? I mean, honestly, I'm excited for Pacific Rim 2. I think Pacific Rim's just a fun...

I just want a robot movie where things punch each other. It's a brain-numbing, just like, I'm going to go sit and watch Pacific Rim 2 and have a good time. It comes out in like two weeks, I think. And it's not as offensive as Transformers or something like that, where it's like product placement hopefully isn't going to be everywhere. We'll see. It might be a lot of Sony.

I don't know who does this, so I swear to if i see like nokia on the robots and shit they're gonna it's like nascar the robots are going to have yeah brands like on their chest and stuff the only thing that like takes me out of a bad movie is really like commercialization of it because it's like oh okay mountain doom machine fight sam widwicky i think that my uh my favorite example of product placement anything i showed it to you recently it was jack and chill no no it was in uh hawaii 50 oh yeah this subway that's not a commercial that was in the episode yeah that's in the episode it in in hawaii 50 there's a scene where the the big fat guy he's like sitting at a table and he's holding like two Subway $5 footlongs. And he's got like another one like perfectly like packaged on the table with like a Subway drink and a bag of chips.

And he's like, I'm just enjoying this $5 footlong from Subway. They make it any way you want it, man. I'm like, wait, so you're telling me that they'll make that any way you want it? And he's like, mm-hmm. And then he mentions Jared. Yeah, and he takes a bite. Jared lost so much weight. And I'm hoping to lose weight too.

Subway. Eat fresh. It's seriously like that. Go look it up, guys. It's really something. I feel like that joke could have worked on like a Brooklyn Nine-Nine type of show. Yes, but not on like a show like Hawaii Five-O. It seems like a Wayne's World type of joke.

Where it's like they're still getting product placement in, but they're being like wink, wink, nudge, nudge, so the company and the advertising person is just still like, oh, you know, we left. That's funny. Yeah, it works. We're fine now. Like in that Wayne's World scene, I guarantee that they got paid for all of that too,

so it was perfect. That works out perfectly. But in this, it's very kind of... It's so obvious. It's like talking down to you. But perfectly. But like this, it's very kind of. It's so obvious. It's like talking down to you. But you know, but there's people that watched it and like that they didn't even pick up that that was product placement. Like, oh, he's enjoying his Subway subs.

Some old lady. Oh, I can. Here's a Subway sandwich. Hey, did you know that apparently this guy's losing weight on this Hawaii show? Just he lost weight just like Jared, dude. Yeah. He didn't touch kids like Jared hopefully did. Well i hopefully he didn't touch kids at all yeah well because that sounded like the particular way in which jared in the way jared did he didn't do it how jared did it yeah but god damn dude no

one does it like jared it can only be jared i wonder how he's doing dude he's in prison hopefully he's uh he's having a shitty horrible time. I hope he is too. Hopefully each day someone takes a pair of pliers and rips out a tooth and then they stab it back into another spot in which they ripped out another tooth and they just continue the process. Just mixing his teeth. Like musical teeth.

It's like musical chairs but with his teeth. Poor Jared, man. I can't help but feel bad for him. That's sarcasm just for the listeners that couldn't pick that up. I hope every day he's forced to bite on a metal bar as hard as possible with those teeth that have been pre-stabbed into his gums. Who thought about this? He's a piece of shit. He is a real piece of shit.

Jared is absolutely a piece of shit. He went from America's sweetheart. America's sweetheart? I think Jared Fogle was America's sweetheart. I don't think he was as far as America's. Jared Fogle was America's sweetheart I don't think he was as far as America's Jared Fogle America's sweetheart He went from America's sweetheart to pedophile in prison

Poor Jared He got his ass He got his ass whooped in prison I remember hearing about that in the news Like someone beat his little subway ass Hopefully that's a day in day out Part of his life I saw something

He's either suing someone or he's he's fighting for like some kind of apparently he has like his own private garage in prison that he has paintings in and stuff what does he paint i don't know subway sandwich would you would you buy one of jared's paintings no it's like i hope it's not like a george bush thing where like remember george bush did paintings and sold them for a lot because i bet of course there's people out there would buy jared's paintings for like a hundred grand no what i hope is happening like he's selling all these paintings and making money and like the like the jail or whatever is like holding the money because you can't technically make commissions

while you're in jail and then one day he comes out to the yard and all of his paintings plus the stack of money is right out in the middle of the courtyard and it's being set on fire so all of his hard work and all the money here and gets wiped out and he loses all sense of hope and then he can go back to biting that metal bar as hard as he can that is the punishment for jerry like what like you're gonna get a call after this episode goes out you're gonna get a call from a uh like a federal judge and he's like ryan, I was listening to the Super Mega Podcast. Yeah, judge? And I really liked your idea for the way you want to punish Mr. Fogle, and I think we're going to... The metal bar bit?

And the teeth and the paintings. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we're going to put that into action. Now, he doesn't listen to Super Mega Podcast, otherwise he would know it's coming, right? Well, we didn't realize it, but he actually did have a little personal device in his cell. He'd been listening to the Super Megacast every week. Every week, huh? He was a big fan until he heard that segment you boys did about him.

He's been actually real upset. He got his feelings hurt. So I am going to need you to apologize to him. Visitation hours next week. I thought this phone call started with you trying to say that you were going to punish him using my metal bar. Well, we are, but also he is a man who has feelings. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard

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multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps because when it comes to getting the most out of your home you can do this when you angie that download the free angie mobile app today or visit angie.com that's a-n-g-i.com yeah what if what if like a judge ordered you to go up like we we had to to go to prison and visit him and apologize to him for calling him a piece of shit. Okay, I would. I'd take him up on it. Dude, yeah.

I'd go there and then I'd spit in his face and then leave. I would totally take the opportunity just to go see Jared Fogle with my own two eyes. And I'd laugh at him. I'd go, Jared, you're in jail. That's funny. Start a food fight. Dude, I'd bring a big Subway sub and I'd be like,. I'd go, ha ha, Jared, you're in jail. That's funny. Start a food fight. Dude, I'd bring a big Subway sub, and I'd be like, you can't have this. You'd eat it right in front of him.

I'd say, mm-mm-mm. He probably doesn't even like Subway, to be honest. Yeah. Like, why would he like Subway? Like, he ate it his time. That's the only reason why he was caught. He was under a big microscope. JK, he was caught because he told his friend what he was doing.

He really was a dumbass. He just talked over the phone. His friend got suspicious, and then his friend was like, shit, this dude's fucked up. Let me act like I'm interested, and he's going to give me everything, and I'm going to record these conversations. Fuck you, Jared, you disgusting piece of shit. It can only be Jared.

Not to conflate both of Jared's jewelry and Jared, because, you know, I don't think anyone from Jared is. Do you think they took a hit from that? Like, do you think when the Jared Fogle news came out? I think anyone named Jared took a hit. Like, you can look at the graph of people naming their children Jared. And it just dropped off. And it dipped down right after you touched those kids. I bet it did.

Do you think Jared's back up? Do you think there's an upswing now? Okay, I'm going to look this up real quick. I'm going to see if... Okay, hold on a second. Okay, because there is information online for baby names. Okay, baby name Jared trend. Popularity. Yeah. Okay. Baby name, Jared trend. Popularity.

Here we go. It's down 95 from 2017. This happened before 2017, right? Okay. Here we go. Here, Ryan. I'll start at 2015 because it was definitely. It was sentenced in 2015.

Really? I think this all happened probably 2014, 2015, because most of the articles I'm seeing is 2015. Okay, so ready? In 2015, it dropped 44 points from 2014. Then it dropped another 44 from 2015 and 2016. So it definitely did.

But 2017, it rose 122 points. People are like, okay, okay, I mean everyone forgot about Jared, right? But now it's dropped 95 points again. Currently. Probably because he's a meme now. Dude, Ryan, you've been losing a shit ton of weight. There's a void to fill with Subway. I'm good. Subway, if you're listening,

Ryan, you can fill Jared's shoes. Hey, Subway, if you want if you want me to eat your sandwiches, I'll do it. I'll fucking do it. You hear? Give me your opinion on Subway, dude. I don't want to go to Subway. Do you like Subway? I ate it almost every day for lunch when I worked at Food Lion

because it was right in the same shopping center. So you're burned out on it. But objectively, do you think it's bad? What? Do you think it's bad? No. Yeah, like I like Subway. I just can't go there.

It's like, it's not bad. It's not like I'm not going there because it's bad food. I'm just tired of that Subway taste. Everything tastes like Subway at Subway. But can you acknowledge that you cannot be hungry, but then you walk into a Subway and you smell that Subway smell, and then you're hungry?

Not anymore, because now it kind of puts me off, because I'm not in the mood for Subway anymore. I fucking love that Subway smell. I wish I could get it in a candle, or like a car air freshener, so my car smelled like Subway. God, that would suck. Please don't make your apartment smell like... My apartment's going to smell just like i'll never visit i'm going to get like i'm gonna get a subway put into my apartment oh my god just so i like i can wake up every morning like a morning master you put in like a starbucks or like a duncan donuts dude

that would be amazing like like a tiny little kiosk in your apartment. Imagine if there was this apartment complex where it was like donut coffee delivery service where it arrived for you on a conveyor belt locked up so only you swiped your card and it would only open for you. But it was like in your apartment. It was this clear little bar, but it went throughout the whole apartment. It's kind of like a revolving sushi bar

except only certain sections are open for you to grab your personal donut coffee. How crazy would that be? And then like oh my god, if you order pizza, they can just send it up on that thing to your apartment. That's the future, man. That is the future. If an apartment complex got that, I would move in there. Like the future is Plankton

eating a hologram. I love that. Spongebob is pretty clever, I do have to say. Yeah, I miss when I would just stare at the TV screen and I could be enamored

by television for hours and hours. I can still do that, but I need to get up and take breaks. I used to just be able to sit there and watch episode

after episode, but now I find myself, I can like, if I find a series I can binge, I can usually binge it, but it's hard for me to be like, it's hard for me to binge something and watch.

Like I did when I was a kid. I can't do that. Like, I don't know if it's my attention span has gotten worse, but like if I sit down to watch like a TV show on Netflix or something, I can usually only get through two episodes before I have to go do something else. Yeah. It's like my,

my brain is just like, it doesn't want to keep watching. But as a kid, I could watch TV from four to like 10. Same. Past my bedtime, parents would be like, come on, gotta go. Like I'd get home, watch TV. Then I'd do my homework while having the TV

on like low volume or mute when my parents wanted it to be off, quote unquote. As you get older, does your attention span get shorter or longer i feel like you're of course as a kid you're just more easily entertained yeah you don't have as much you don't have most of the time you don't have as much weight on your shoulders mentally yeah i feel like you don't have as much responsibility that's the big thing that affects my attention span is how much like weight like stress am i under like if i got lot of anxiety on my mind, then my attention span, I can't sit and watch a

bunch of episodes of something because my mind is like, I got to refresh. I got to do something different now. That's why I'm one of those losers that looks back at high school and is like, man, I miss. Because I took, this is weird. I took irresponsibility for granted. I thought I was a responsible person at that time because that was who I was at the time. I was like, I can make mature decisions, but it's like, I was living under my parents' house. You know, I mean, there was a curfew set

for people my age in South Carolina. Like you couldn't be out. Um, I don't know. It's just like all these things that I thought were, um, true trademarks of adulthood. It's yeah i could drive a car yeah i could go out and purchase things with a debit card and do all these things um but at the same time you're not paying rent you're not paying for your own food and stuff exactly and that's nice just i think being out here and living alone for three years i'm not i've noticed it more more recently just because i've been in a fog for the past for who knows how long and it's just i'm kind of waking up and i'm like jesus christ mom and dad holy fuck like they had to look after another person's life like they look after my whole life

as well as maintaining a work life and their own personal life um yeah dude just like it's like being a parent such a big responsibility like it's like hard for me to imagine like i i guess i thought about it coming to work you know sometimes i have to stay late and it's like super busy other times i have a personal life that i feel like i i sometimes i'm just not in the mood or i'm too busy and then like planning things is hard sometimes. And also I'm like, have I think about what if a kid was just plopped down in the middle of that? That would be crazy.

I don't think I could not handle that. So, so shout out to all the parents out there with kids that are under 18. You're the heroes. Shout out to, if you're a good parent, if you're, if you beat your kid,

that's pretty shit. You don't do anything fucked up. Then I hope you go to jail and end up biting on a metal bar. There you go. With Jared. Yeah. But to all you good parents out there and all you parents that are trying your darn hardest, shout out to you. Yeah, look at you. Give you a virtual high five from Ryan and Matt from Super Mega.

Although there's no good parent that's listening to this podcast when they should be taking care of their children. Maybe they already put their kids to bed and they're detoxing right now. Yeah. Enjoying a nice glass of wine. If you're letting your kids listen to this as you're sitting with them in the living room

or something like that, don't rewind the podcast to where I'm saying this and then videotape your kids in front watching the TV and then you sitting on the couch to make it a moment or something and tweet it at us if you have kids yeah you shouldn't let your kids listen to this podcast unless you want you want to be a cool badass parent yeah I'm saying let your kids listen to this podcast I'm all for it our parents let us watch jackass at a young age my mom did not so. So my mom didn't let me watch Jackass.

And then Jackass 3 came out. My dad was like, hey, son, let's go see it. And my dad took me to see Jackass 3 in theaters. And my mom was real unhappy about that. My mom was usually the more lenient one. But, like, my dad didn't have a problem with Jackass just because, of course, you know, it's going to sound weird. I think most males of that time period just had this attraction to jackass. Still, dude.

I love jackass. Like, I'm not excluding females, but I didn't have too many female friends, so I can't speak on behalf of all females. Believe it or not, I know a girl who loves jackass. Wow. Almost as much as I do. If not as much as I do. And I was very shocked to find out. almost as much as I do if not as much as I do and I was very shocked to find out

so hey and also at the time of recording this it's international women's day so shout out to all you ladies out there may you keep going strong not all of them of course but like all the good ones sure all the good ones all the good ladies out there all the bad ladies

be gone just shoo shoo just get out of here but all you good ladies hell yeah all you good ladies, hell yeah. All you positive women. Even some negative women, because negative women point out things that need to be more positive. You know, that type of shit. Yeah, exactly.

But I mean like criminals. Yeah. If you're like a bad, like a criminal woman. Yeah. Or a psychopath. Child dumpsterer. Child dumpster. So I see you put here as your profession, child dumpster?

What does that mean? No, a child dumpster-er. Oh! Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, the judge is like, that clears it right up, thank you. Yo, dude, I'm drinking a vanilla Coke right now. Can you believe this, Ryan? A vanilla Coke's only 150 calories.

Yeah. Well, it's a can of vanilla Coke. It's 42 grams of sugar? Jesus Christ! You can get a Coke Zero and get zero calories. Wow. Even though you're still getting a ton of awful sugars from it. Man, carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup, caramel color,

phosphoric acid, natural flavors, and caffeine. That's all there is to it, folks. I just shit my pants just now. I looked and I'm like, 25 minutes? It feels longer than 25 minutes. I thought you meant you actually shit your pants just now. No, you'd smell it. And then you looked at the recording time and saw it was only 25 minutes.

Yeah. Why'd you shit your pants? I just thought we'd been recording a lot longer than that. Dude, it totally feels like we've been recording longer than 25 minutes. I thought I was gonna look up and it was gonna be like 45. Ryan, did we fall through some kind of like dude it's it's been longer than 25 minutes it's gotta have been longer than 25 minutes we talked about oscar stuff we talked about jared jared we talked about parents parents ryan what's going on man i don't know it's fucked up something something crazy. It's also getting hot in here, too,

so maybe, like, it's... You wanna take a little break? You wanna take a little break and let the AC go? Let the AC go. It's gotta be, like, 85 degrees in here right now. Yeah, it's fucking toasty. This recording room is not like something... Like, when it was created, the ventilation was not

done properly. Yeah. So it's... Ooh, it's hot. Like, basically, we have to let the AC run in this recording room before we record. And then within 10 minutes, it's burning hot again. And it's just like, you're sitting in a furnace while you're recording. And for the break,

uh, here are monks chanting as we are whispering, um, go get some super mega merch or whatever in the background. Okay, here we go. Go buy super mega merch at sharkrobot.com slash supermega. Do you want to support your boys?

You can support us. At sharkrobot.com slash supermega. Super Mega merch is pretty cool merch. You'll look really cool at school when you wear it. Do it, please. And it helps us out. Please. We're back.

We let the air circulate through the room. Feels nice. It feels nice. It feels nice. It's going to feel hot by the end of the podcast, though. I can tell, though. Like, the room is not cooling off the way it normally does for some reason. Maybe it's because the air hasn't been on for six hours straight. Well, usually it gets colder faster.

Maybe the AC's a little broken today. Yeah, who knows? Maybe we've got to call the repairman to come in and bring his big old wrench and fix some shit up. But while we were on our break, we watched that Nintendo Direct from last week. Well, we just watched it live, but it's technically from last week. Because when you listen to this, yeah. Some cool stuff. I think the only thing, not that I cared about,

but I'm actually legitimately going to play is Super Smash Bros. Yeah, they just dropped that at the end. They were like, ooh, new Super Smash Bros. game coming soon. It's going to have Breath of the Wild Link. It's going to have Mario. It's going to have the Splatoon characters. Fucking awesome, dude. Yeah.

I'm excited for that. It's going to be great. It's coming in 2018. All I want, though, all I want for them to announce it on Nintendo Direct is a new Animal Crossing. That's all I care about. When I watch Nintendo Direct, most of it's always underwhelming. And then maybe there'll be like a tidbit here and there of it's like, ooh, ooh. Like, that's cool.

But I do care about Splatoon. I think it's cool. And Smash Bros. is super awesome. I'm very excited for that. I just want Animal Crossing. I feel like I agree with you on that one, even though you're a much bigger fan of Animal Crossing than I am. For me, I've started getting into kind of like old man dad type games in terms of I just want a game to sit down.

I'm not forced to put 10 minutes. I'm not forced to only put 10 minutes. I'm not forced to have to play up to an hour or two to kind of get good progress i just want a game that i can sit down make progress in play around with and it's animal crossing yeah play as much as like you can jump in for five minutes or you can jump in for five hours exactly and i like it and i feel like with the with the switch they it's just gonna look beautiful there's gonna be a lot of nice little things because just like in connection with Mario Odyssey and Zelda Breath of the Wild,

after completing both of those games and just seeing all the small little details they put into them, I know that they're going to have to put those details into Animal Crossing. And for a game like Animal Crossing, that means it hopefully will be a big, amazing experience. Well, Animal Crossing like already known for the details like it's full of details so that's why i'm so excited for the switch version because i feel like they're gonna really take it to the next level so uh i can't wait for that my man

yeah you'll finally get to play your switch finally i don't i don't play my switch that much i don't play video games that much yeah like outside of recording i really don't play my Switch that much. I don't play video games that much. Yeah. Like, outside of recording, I really don't play games that much. I've been spending most of my time laying in bed doing absolutely nothing. Okay. It's super fun. I've been spending my time playing with Lego. What are you, four years old? Yeah.

Playing with Legos right now? Playing with my dog, Lego. Watching Netflix and movies and shows and stuff. Talking about shows and movies, I just completed it. And I think it's a very interesting look into a town. And I found it entertaining. And I recommend at least giving it a try. It's Flinttown.

It's an eight-part docuseries on Netflix. And it was super interesting. I don't know. I like, uh, I like when things go in on a small town, kind of like not where it's not taking place in a city with a bunch of technology and stuff, just kind of like just normal, not even normal, just a, just a Hobunk town somewhere. And Flint town has become one of those towns. Um, and in the documentary, you kind of figure out or find out why and what things are in place and keeping this town in the rut in that it's in. And I just found it really interesting. I watched the first episode and a half last night.

And I do have to say, very, very good. It's chilling at times. Yeah, because I know it follows the police, but there are a lot of parts in it where I don't feel like it forces you to feel a certain way all the time um it bring the election comes into place and then there's like racial tensions amongst the police force and stuff which is interesting it just kind of shows you everyone's voice which I liked like it didn't just stick to the police it didn't just stick to the people affected by the police.

It showed both sides of the story, even though it mainly follows the Flinttown police force. Yeah, it's really good. Yeah, like, it just kind of, like, opens your eyes to, like, what's going on in Flint, Michigan. And it's like, whoa. So, yeah, it's worth a shot. It's worth checking out. If you find that stuff interesting, it's a nice bingeable, sit down, eat some chips,

have mild conversation during type of show. If you know what I mean, if you know what I'm spitting out. I kind of get what you're spitting out, Ryan. Thanks. Can you stop spitting everywhere, please? Sorry, I apologize. Spitting all over the recording room,

all over the pillows, all over me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I apologize. I said, I'm sorry. Are you. Spinning all over the recording room, all over the pillows, all over me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I apologize. I said I'm sorry. Are you done chastising me? Chastising you? Are you done?

Doesn't chastise mean, like, to keep from having sex? Does it? To chastise? Chastise, I thought, meant like you're getting on somebody. Chastity. Yeah, but chastity. Define chastise, I thought, meant like you're getting on someone. Chastity. Yeah, but chastise. Define chastise. Chastise means rebuke or reprimand severely.

Okay, you're right. Yeah. I thought that chastise was like. Did you just scoff at me in my use of a word and I used it correctly? Yeah, I did. Keep that in the podcast. No, because I thought chastise. No, you gotta keep it in the podcast.

I wasn't gonna cut it out. I thought that chastise was like, I'm chastising myself. I'm not going to have sex. I feel like it can mean both things. Did it say that it could mean both things? Ryan, I feel like... Hold on. I gotta look this up, man.

Okay. Like, I can chastise... There's a chastity bell. Chastise sex. Oh. Chastisement is a kind of punishment that will not allow you to have sex. Chastisement. It's pretty close. Pretty close, right?

Chastisement is the act of scolding or punishing someone. The noun chastisement usually means a verbal reprimand. Oh, well, I guess it doesn't mean to not have sex. In my mind, it's going to stay that way. You learn something new every day. Hey, you know, a mind that refuses

to learn is a mind that progresses or something. Ryan, in my mind, chastise is going to continue to mean not have sex. That's perfectly fine. Speaking of not having sex, I watched a short documentary about incels that's on YouTube. It's 30 minutes long. I think it's called

Shy Boys. Is it like one of those documentaries that people make on YouTube documentaries? Yeah, it's called Shy Boys. Is it like one of those documentaries that people make on a YouTube documentary? Yeah, it's like a YouTube documentary. It wasn't like a hugely produced one. It's 30 minutes. Susie told me about it. Watched it. Pretty good.

It's just about incels. And if you don't know what incels are, involuntary celibates. It's guys who are like, I... Do they proclaim to be involuntary celibates? Yeah. They take the title of incel. Okay. So it's not just like a title someone gaveates? Yeah. They like, they take the title of incel. Yeah. Okay. So it's not just like a title someone gave them.

No. They are incel. Yeah. They take the title of incel, which if you take that title, good for you. Very, you're doing, you're doing well in life. Would it, would it mean something if like it was Chris Hemsworth saying, you know, I'm, I'm abstaining from sex? They're not abstaining from sex. They are

involuntarily abstaining because women won't give them sex. Involuntary celibates. There are voluntary celibates that have given up on women. Yeah, that's not something you choose. You can't just say, like, that's like most people throughout their lives. They're saying, like, because I'm ugly and because

women are bitches. Ugly people have sex all the time. I know. It's actually, it's not because women are bitches. Ugly people have sex all the time. I know. It's actually, it's not because they're ugly. It's almost, 100% of the time it's their personality. I'm trying, yeah. But they don't, they never acknowledge that. It's always my looks or because women suck or because women just want to sleep with the hot guys.

I think it's they're not getting the women they want type of thing. You know, like they're watching. And they feel entitled to it. Like they watch porn or something and they see all these beautiful women and then they they're like why can i get these beautiful women i'm trying to like understand it here the guy the guy one of the guys in the documentary was like i have been rejected 1 000 times in real life 2 000 times online so a total of 3 000 rejections so if he if he's counting rejections then there's the first problem how the fuck do you you don't get rejected 2 000 times online what like what first of all i guarantee she that's like if he's going on runescapes

will you be gf no fuck that's 1622 it's like like you watch this and you see it's it's all because their personalities like none of them are terribly unattractive guys either i think simply because of their personalities i think honestly it is the moment they take the title of an incel that solidifies themselves as someone who will not have sex it's not even just it's not even having sex it's having a relationship like oh it's just a relationship no no it's both it's like i think it's mainly around sex though oh well yeah because that's what those guys that's what they want well yeah i mean that's just that's nature right but these these guys have this natural want to fuck and they're blaming others for their for their lack of uh not skill but their lack of yeah social interacting skills personality social interacting skills you know it's like uh there was a subreddit for incels that Reddit actually removed because it got so toxic and you know.

It's just an interesting thing to think about that you know. They could have sex if they actually wanted to but they'd have to probably just better themselves. I mean the least they could do is, I guess, fake a personality. But they can't even muster up that, I guess. They can't put on a good face. They can't put on a nice date face, you know what I mean? Ryan, I think we're about to have a war waged upon us by incels. I hope not.

I mean, I'm not saying, like, I just feel like saying that I'm involuntarily being kept from this it's like yeah that's because you because you don't have the right to things by birth instantaneously yeah like life you have to earn it you have to you have to be able to get there yourself there's there's people everywhere with there's people with no legs there's people with no arms there's people with all these things there's people who are like just um that are seen as unattractive um in society or from people's personal delegations of what's pop like what's popular or not in terms of attractiveness and they still get they still get laid they still have relationships they get married it's like yeah it's not there's people who are fully paralyzed that are in relationships yeah there's people who are in jail that have committed heinous crimes that are in relationships i think i don't feel

like you can just blame it on like i mean it's you women women won't give me sex at that point there's a common denominator you know what i'm saying yeah it's not it's not women so because the thing is it's like the problem with most of them is they think like from what i've gathered is that they feel entitled to sex and like women owe it to them and it's like they only want to sleep with assholes and chads and and dicks it's like no that's not that's not how women are like it's it it's just it comes from a lack of understanding of the opposite sex and then just like a terrible personality and a sense of entitlement well also i'm sorry to say if a woman wants to just fuck an asshole she has she can do that yeah there's

nothing like if she wants to do that she absolutely can't like she doesn't owe you anything especially if you like what these guys i think what these guys need to do is they need to stop focusing on the fact that it's like your looks or that it's women and look at yourself and look at what's on the inside. Because like from every case of like an incel I've seen online, it's like you seem like the most unbearable person to be around. Well, I think it's just desperation is you can easily gauge it on a person. Yeah. Who just can't kind of hide their inner feelings. Like they're pent up frustrations or there's cracks on the surface and it can easily shine through. Yeah.

Well, what I noticed from watching the documentary is like every single guy hates themselves. Like that's like a common denominator between them is they all hate themselves. So they recognize it. They're just giving the problem another, well, they're giving, they're just, they're attaching another problem onto. Well, I don't think even all of them recognize it.

I think some of them it's like deeper down and they don't realize that they hate themselves, but they instead, they mask that like hate with the, like that self-hatred with like the um the hatred towards women or the hatred towards uh like the bitterness towards everything else i mean i get like here's the thing i get their mindset because that's a very middle school high school mindset you know where you see like a jock or you see the athletic kid and you see

like the girls fawning over him because girls are starting to like why don't they like me have makeup and look pretty and it's like it's that mindset of because like i think we at some instance not we all like all of us but i definitely felt that i was like oh why does she like that jock asshole or whatever but it's it's a very immature feeling to have because you realize that you know you're looking after something here when there's plenty of opportunities yeah exactly on the horizon for you and you just gotta do you be you and if you're if if if you're an asshole then here i guess confidence asshole is different than than desperate asshole. Yeah, like bitter asshole. I mean, it's a fact of life that douchebags, bitches and hoes, I don't know,

they're just, people are gonna have sex with all types of different personalities. It's, that's just what it is. You can't just push a button and say, all assholes will never be able to have sex and I will get all the sex in the world. Amen. That would be a beautiful button, I'm sure, for a lot of people.

But it doesn't exist and you need to self-reflect a bit. Guys, if you need some advice, Ryan and I are pickup artists in training. And we're offering free advice. So if you guys need some pickup artist advice, just let us know down in the comments below. We'd be happy to respond and give you some advice, guys. Ryan and I are actually starting a pickup artist league to train people

who'd like to learn our ways to pick up beautiful women all around the world. We're just going to go into your local fast food restaurant, stand in line, and we're just going to go for it. We're going to actually film it

and put it on our YouTube channel because we're starting a second pickup artist channel. We're going to have the smooch cam, which it's going to be the camera slightly tinted to a pink right before we get that sweet smooch. Dude, pickup artist channels, like that's one of the weirdest types of channels on YouTube. Just like there's some of them that have like hundreds and hundreds of videos where the guy will just go out in public and film himself talking to a girl and just creepily trying

to pick her up. And then he uploads it. Yeah. And it's uploads it. Yeah. And it's like, what the fuck? That's so weird. There's, there's, I think it stems from that whole hitch type of thing where you show someone success and it's, it's for other people to go see, it can happen. That can be me. It is possible for me to pick up women.

And then there's the other side of people going, look how many women I can pick up. There's the two different types of pickup artists. Dude, if I was a woman and a guy approached me and he's filming me with his camcorder and he's like trying to hit on me. Like, how am I going to react to that? I'd have sex with him on the spot. Dude, imagine if you were like a beautiful woman and then this like ugly guy comes up to you and he's filming you with his camcorder. He could have a nice personality. He doesn't have to be ugly.

Just be some guy. Okay. Well, okay. He comes up to you with his camcorder and he's a YouTube pickup artist. He has to have a rat tail. Definitely has to have a rat tail. Dude, I'm working on a rat tail right now. I got to get my hair cut.

That's the problem with my hair is like it just always turns into a rat tail in the back. You see that? You should grow that out and bead it up. Put some beads on it. Oh, I would love to. Just like an avatar style rat tail. Yes. Come on.

You plug it into shit. Dude, that would be amazing. I'll get a little extension at the end that is a plug. Like a USB plug. That would be awesome. That would be such a cool look, wouldn't it? Yeah. I have a little USB plug at the end

of my long ass rat tail. Who needs a plug? Who needs a plug? Matt's got a plug. Yeah, I'll plug you in, man. That would be so cool. Plug it in, plug it in. But yeah, Ryan and I are starting a Pickup Artist channel. Expect that soon. It's going to be some of the quality content.

It's coming out the same day as our movie review, so. Yeah, there we go several people just don't even joke you promise and promise and promise we're gonna release the pickup artist stuff before the movie reviews I'm drinking

this water right now I can tell you why this is alright water. Arrowhead? It's not bad water. I thought you used to not like Arrowhead. I don't. I've just gotten used to it. I've just kind of... Water's water, you know. I drink, believe it or not, guys, I drink LA tap water now every single day. What? Do you use a filter? Nope. I just drink it.

I just made myself suck it up and I'm like, you know what? I mean, I live here. You're also trusting the apartment pipes. That's true. I don't want to think about what the insides of pipes look like. I just get a little pitcher, fill it with water. Whatever, dude. That's almost too much work for me. You don't even refrigerate

the water. Room temperature water is fine. Well, if I had a pitcher, I'd It's like I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm thirsty and I go to my bathroom sink and I just drink some water and it's never pleasing. It's never a satisfactory experience. But I'm like, it's fucking water, whatever. Apparently Los

Angeles had their water infrastructure redone so they have very clean water now. I trust them. I don't know how much I trust that. But it doesn't taste clean, I'll say that. Or maybe it tastes too clean and that's the problem. It's too

chlorinated. Too. I know what you're saying. Like the thing about LA water, it just leaves like residue. Like you notice this. It'll leave white residue on everything. Like I guess that's calcium. Yeah.

It's not just your typical, what are they called? Dry spots? Yeah. It's not your typical dry spots. It's legitimate white residue. But that's only because I don't get that. You don't get that? No. So maybe it's not your typical water rings it's legitimate white residue like that's only because i don't get that you don't get that no so maybe i mean i get the dry spots but i just need to rinse off the dishes or wipe them down like the water fountain in uh the apartment building i noticed like some sort that means our water's fucked up like when after the water dries

and the water fountain it's just white everywhere and it's all over like the place where the water comes out um maybe it's just glendale i don't know maybe it's just white everywhere. And it's all over the place where the water comes out. Maybe it's just Glendale. I don't know. Maybe it's just areas of LA. But it's pretty fucking gross. I mean, calcium's not bad for you. Sure, it's fine. It just doesn't give off a good impression when you have people over.

It's like, hey, let's eat. You want to drink out of this cup? That is filled with white residue. I know. My dishes are clean. Trust me. It looks like he just collected a bunch of whatever shot out of ted cruz's mouth and onto his lip during that one

debate or whatever it looks like you would use like maybe like a cup to like measure some flour with and then you didn't actually wash the cup afterwards just kind of like shook the flour out and put it back in the cabinet and you're like oh well there's some white shit in here now to be a politician you either have to be like hungry for money or hungry for fame right power like it's narcissism or power i feel like like what i i remember reading something that like politicians have like the highest uh like statistic of sociopathy yeah like like a huge percentage of politicians are sociopaths. And that makes total sense. Because I know that like a lot of,

like a good bit of them probably want power, but I think most of them just want, just want to be famous in a way. That sounds weird. You know, they want admiration. It all kind of goes hand in hand, you know? Yeah. Money, fame, power.

I think there's a difference between the power that you, like someone wants for running for president. And instead of like just being kind of like a senator that has a bunch of money and that people are like. Yeah, that makes sense. Because it takes a special type of person to run for president. Amen, brother. But like. You got to feel like everyone has, you know, is like I, I'm in charge of everyone in the United States.

That's got to be a crazy fucking responsibility being president. And my words and impact stretches across the whole globe. Absolutely, because the United States is a world power that has a lot of influence on like every other country. Dude, we're the kings, baby. I was talking about this with my Swedish friend, how English is like it's not the most spoken language, but it's like the most spoken language but it's like the most popular language on earth like because it influences like so many other languages and like every other language pretty much has english words in it you know which is crazy that

like that's like that's that good old imperialism for you i love imperial just like english is a crazy popular language but it's such a hard language to speak it like doesn't follow rules and it makes no sense yeah that's why we need that universal language we need unilog baby you can fucking bring that up again have we ever talked about that on the podcast i don't know i don't know i'm sure we have like early on it was a late okay when i was in high school i had i had a free period and i was bored so i was like i'm gonna make my own language and it's gonna be super easy and universal so anyone can learn it. It's Unilog, baby. And it's called Unilog.

And then I showed you and Daniel one day and Daniel gave you constant shit about it. Making so much shit. I never said much. He just would not stop making fun. Yeah, you didn't make fun of me for it. I think even I was like, oh, I want to like look at it. I think I was like super supportive. And Daniel was like, pfft. I know. Alright, you made your own language, fucking nerd. He'd always bring it up.

Always bring it up. Like we'd sit down to watch a movie and he'd like open the sub i was like do they have unilog stuff i know dude i was in high school so guys let's uh let's all learn unilog let's let's make a universal language there already is a universal language that doesn't spoken esperanto yeah i just while you were busy making your own language, I probably looked like a fucking racist because I would constantly draw like stick figure wars, but you know, it was black stick figures versus white stick figures. Cause I, cause it's just a pen. You need to differentiate them.

Yeah. So one's just an open circle. One's a filled in circle for the head. Probably just looked like a race. Just say they're masks. It might've looked like a stick man race war, but you could just say maybe there's – They're ninja masks. Or, yeah, like ski masks or something.

Yeah, that works. Dude, oh, my God. Speaking of drawing circles, I don't know if you had it, but when I was a kid – I talked to Aaron about this recently, and he remembered it too. I had this book series that I was in love with, and it was like how to draw, and you'd, like, fill in these pictures, and there were little circle people, and it was like – the author, I think like fill in these pictures and they were little circle people and it was like the author I think his name was like Ed Emberley do you remember those books?

it was like little circle people and you would fill them in and draw and like complete these scenes dude I used to sit in my school library when I was in like kindergarten and draw the shit out of that stuff it was like the greatest do you remember what was the guy's name? he made the books where it was like the caterpillar oh remember uh what was the guy's name he made the books where

it was like the caterpillar oh i loved him he had the rainbow fish dude yeah yeah yeah he made the rainbow fish he made um caterpillar he made he made the cricket one yeah remember one of my favorite children's books was anansi the spider was that was yeah i remember that was like the african spider mother and her spider children and it's like very... I don't know. Angular? Angular. Their heads are diamond shaped.

I remember that book. Oh my god, wow. It's a very red and black book, but there are other triangles that have colors to them and stuff. Do you remember... Do they get eaten? Like a lot of her babies get eaten? I don't remember how it goes. It was an African folklore. I just remember it was like... It was an African folklore.

And then there was also a Tiki Tiki Timbo. Tiki Tiki Terambi. Do you remember that book? I remember it, yeah. I don't remember how it went. I just remember the name because it was goofy. It was goofy and fun. I remember learning about that in school.

Dude, and then there was the fuck... Did you have the book about the owls? The three baby owls? I can't remember. all I remember is my favorite children's books were like the giving tree the Dr. Seuss book where it's a bunch of different types of dogs

where is my mother and Abiyoyo dude I remember what was the dog book there was like a bunch of colored different colored three funny dogs by you know which one I'm there was like a bunch of colored different colored three funny dogs but you know which one i'm talking about like it goes through all all different dogs and stuff let me look it up i remember um shit dude i had a ferdinand was one of my favorite children's books

and now it's being bastardized into a john cena movie so uh i think it already came out oh yeah i think it's a go dogs go go Dogs Go. Oh, I haven't. Yeah, I do remember that one. I never read a lot of Dr. Seuss. Go Dogs Go. Yes, and it had the little dog. I had that book. It had the dog in the little car.

Oh, look at all these dogs. There's so many dogs. Dude, that's, that's, stop. That's too many dogs. Get it away from me. Oh, there it is. Here's my other favorite one. Are You My Mother?

Oh, yeah, the little bird. Wait, by P.D. Eastman? That wasn't Dr. Seuss? What, yeah. The little bird. Wait, by P.D. Eastman? That wasn't Dr. Seuss? What? Maybe Dr. Seuss illustrated it. By P.D. Eastman. Dr. Seuss is a lie. Fuck you, Dr. Seuss.

I love you, P.D. Eastman. I thought Dr. Seuss did a bunch of psychedelics or something. It would make sense with his drawings and everything. What did Dr. Seuss do then? Did the Lorax? Put me in the zoo. I guess he did. Yeah, he did like...

He did a bunch of books, dude. See, I always attributed these to Dr. Seuss do then? Did the Lorax? Put me in the zoo. I guess he did. Yeah, he did like... He did a bunch of books, dude. See, I always attributed these to Dr. Seuss. The Lorax is definitely Dr. Seuss. The Grinch is definitely Dr. Seuss. Is that really not Dr. Seuss? What? The one you just showed me? Which one?

The dogs. Are you my mother? Yeah, that's P.D. Eastman. What? I have to say P.D. Eastman, I love you. Little Dr. Seuss ripoff. I'm going to look up P up pd eastman and see what this man maybe that was an alias of dr seuss was dr seuss a real doctor did he just give himself

that title god this guy was thank god he got the dr seuss label because before pd eastman was doing aaron is a good sport and it's a badly drawn alligator that looks so bad but at least he was a good sport right yeah man allig Man, alligators have got... Aaron is cool. Aaron the alligator is cool. And he's in a wintry environment. So it's like a play on words. It's a pun.

A fish out of water. What the fuck is that drawing? Look at that creepy thing. That's creepy. Oh, it's illustrated by... That's going on screen right now. Go look at that, guys. Does that mean it was written by Dr. Seuss?

Did P.D. Eastman illustrate and write them? Because P.D. Eastman just illustrated some shit. Are you sure it's not Dr. Seuss' real name? By P.D. Eastman, author of Go Dog Go. Look at you, Ryan. You're shattering your childhood right now. I am. You're finding out all of these things you held true your whole life to not be true anymore.

I'm going to... Come on. I don't want to look up images, fucking Google. I don't want to shop for it either. Can I get mad about how Google removed the view image option on Google images so now I have to like right click and open image in new tab

it's very frustrating for someone who has to make thumbnails and stuff with Photoshop all the time Google I'm mad at you and if I ever see Mr. Google or the CEO of Google whoever you are I'm going to slap you upside the head I'm going to go put it back. Put that feature back.

There's no reason to take that away. You silly goof. Okay. So as a final answer for P.D. Eastman, P.D. Eastman is an author. He's known primarily as P.D. Eastman, a protege of Dr. Seuss. Okay. Eastman wrote many books for children in his own distinct style under the Dr. Seuss brand of Random House, many of which were in the beginner book series. Wait, under the Dr. Seuss brand?

Does that mean that – is that like – That's a brand. Does that mean they write the books and then they put Dr. Seuss' name on it? No, it's kind of like – you know what they do with movies and authors? Like, you know what they do with movies and authors? If they made a movie out of this, it would be like Dr. Seuss is the Grinch. Dr. Seuss is the Lorax written by P.D. Eastman. Right, right.

But Dr. Seuss didn't write it. No. It's just his book. Think of like the, I guess, publishing company? Okay, so I don't think of it as Dr. Seuss. This is not Dr. Seuss's, but it's Dr. Seuss brand he's taking ownership of this yes oh that's so okay so how much stuff did dr seuss actually write himself then just the early stuff probably wow dude probably wrote a well he wrote a shit ton but i think this the books that i was talking about that are a little less dr seussy but still in the same realm yeah i. I like Go Dogs Go.

Dude, go. Go, dogs, go! Get out of here! I remember that book, and Where Is My Mother helped me get in the 100 book club at my elementary school. Dude, you were in the 100 book club? I was in the 100 book club. Does that mean you read 100 books? I read 100 books. I was in the 100 book club. How many kids were in the 100

book club? A lot, probably. Well, I don't know actually how many. All I remember is book club a lot probably well i well i don't i don't know actually how many all i remember is it's like when i i just felt like something i had to do kind of like now when i want to get a certain achievement in a video game like collect all 250 trophies even though it doesn't matter it's just like that little bit of i just need to get all of them i just i just i just want to have. I love the comparison of those two things. Cause like one of them sounds like, so, so like stellar and like good in your life.

It's like, I read 100 books and it was like, I collected 250 meaning. I collected 250 Riddler trophies in the most recent Batman game. And it, I spent hours doing it. I even streamed myself doing it. It was,

it was awful. That sounds really unfun. You even streamed myself doing it. It was awful. That sounds really unfun. You should stream yourself reading 100 books. Yeah. No. I'm sure you could find some real small kids books and get through 100 books in a day. That sounds miserable.

Reading 100 books in a day? Like children's books? I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that either. That would be awful. That sounds so unfun. how long would it take you let's say one children's book takes you five minutes to read 500 minutes okay divided by 60 i can't do math so no ryan let's try to do this in our heads i was about to pull my calculator let's show our brain power okay

500 divided by 60 okay It definitely goes into it five times. It does. I think it only goes into it five times. Hold on. Because then you have five tens left over. No, no, no. Then you have forties. Hold on. Okay, wait, wait, wait. There's a lot left over.

It's 8 point... Yeah. It's 8.333, I think. Something like that. 8.333. Let's verify this. Okay. So it would take 8 hours.

I think it's 8.333. Wait, 8 hours? Yeah, 8 hours. Okay, hold on. 500 divided by 60. 8.333! I did the math in my head! You did it!

Holy shit! Good job! I'm actually freaking out right now. See? We can do simple math. Because that's a much harder problem than the one in the are you smarter than a fifth grader where it was like what was it 200 and yeah 200 minus first you just see how many times does 60 go what i what i was doing it was you know how

many times is 60 going to 500 definitely five times but then you got to take the 40 times 5 what's 40 times 5 matt come on Come on, that's easy. 200. Yeah. And then divide that into 60. What's that? 200 divided by 60? Yeah. 3.

Yeah. Point 2? Yeah. No, 3 point. Go on. 3, 3, 3. Okay, 20 divided by, 200 divided by 60? Yeah.

It's going to be 3.33. Yeah. Boom. Then I just add the 3.33. Yeah. Boom. Then I just add the two numbers together. The way I did it was I looked at my fingers. I made one finger represent 60, and then two fingers was 120. And then I doubled that, so that's 240. And then I doubled that, and that's 480.

And I'm like, okay, that's 480. That's 8. And I can't fit another 60. A simpler way of doing it. Look at you. Yeah. Just look at us, guys. School, the education system has really helped us out here.

I think we did it. We've got calculators now. I remember the teacher was like, in the real world, you're not going to be able to carry a calculator with you. Maybe not in your goofy time period. We've got fucking iPhones now. Do you realize that technology progresses, you infantile fuck? Watch this. That's what I said to my teacher in the classroom.

When he stood up and gave you, like, you got balls, kid. An A+. Watch this. Well-deserved. I'm in the science laboratory right now, and like, well, hypothetically. Okay. My teacher, I hear the voice, you're not gonna be able to have calculators in real life? Yeah.

Siri, what's 800 divided by 7? About 114.2857. I just had a robot tell me the answer immediately. Yeah, watch this. Watch this. It's like, imagine you're in the middle of nowhere and you're trying to solve this weird math problem for some reason. And you don't have any technology. This is a witch that's going to curse you.

Yeah, unless you solve it. So like 89 divided by 6 times 2 minus 3.20365 you're like what is that equals right away it's 26.463016666 you're saved from the witch instantaneously it's a little there's there's a 666 in there though so yeah four sixes so it kind of cancels oh okay cool that's the number of the lord yeah um dude have you ever seen those guys like there's this guy watched a video on where he he's some form of of savant where you can give him any math problem and he can instantly solve it. And the way he says he does it is he sees each number as a shape and he puts them together and it makes a new shape and that's the answer. And I'm like, how? How does that work?

You can give him anything like 366 times 218 and he instantly knows the answer. And he says because 366 is like a and he instantly knows the answer and he says because 366 is like a shape in his head 216 is a shape and he puts them together and it makes a new shape that's a number in his head and then he knows it it's so weird i'm like what are you magic how do you do that it could be magic but that means that like test this people like if people technically have that ability we just don't have it like unlocked yeah what if he's like the first fuck up he's like a superhuman he's like a mutant yeah well he's the first mutation of super smart humans that's crazy i mean he's a savant so he probably doesn't fuck anyone he can't pass that

awesome gene over he's a he's a brain cell that's another form uh cell brain it's it's it's no it is like brain cells that's a real it's a community online it's a real it's i think i'm cell brain it's it's it's no it is like brain cells that's a real it's a community online it's a real it's i think i'm i think it's guys who think that they're too intelligent for like the way women are too intelligent like they see women as like this like like they only you know i'm i'm above that they only want to fuck these chads you know they don't understand my intelligence and the level i'm at we're as a community we're above these women i think that's what that is i think that's what brain cells are they call themselves brain cells so good for them that's kind of like i don't know you can't be that smart if you're that's like the guy the guy who talks about having sex is probably not the one having

sex yeah like dude i had so much sex last week. Dude, I had a lot of sex. Personally, I had tons of sex. Like, let me put it this way. If you were to fill a cup full of milk, like up to the brim and that cup signified the week and the amount of milk in the cup signified how much sex I had that week. That's how much sex I had. Dude, if I had to describe how much sex I had that week, that's how much sex I had. Dude, if I had to describe how much sex I had last week. Yeah. Let's say, you know, I get in my car and I turn it on and it shows me like the gas meter.

Speedometer. No, that shows me how much gas I had. The gasometer. It was all the way full. Oh, wow. Full of sex. Full gasometer. It was all the way full. Oh, wow. And that represents. Full of sex. Full of sex.

My tank was full of sex. And guess what? I topped it off. There's no more room for sex because you were just full of sex. My schedule last week was 100% sex. Yeah. Like, I had no room to pencil anything in. My mom called and she said, hey, do you have time to have a conversation about something very serious sorry mom having sex i can't talk to you this week at all because my

entire week is booked with sex so sorry and i actually had that conversation i was so busy having sex i had that conversation while i was having sex i just thought of a business practice we gotta we gotta we gotta make sure prostitution is legalized, though. Okay, well, we'll lobby that in California. It's a monthly subscription fee anyone can pay. And after work, this bus comes. Except it's big and it looks like a bedroom on the inside. And the driver has this thing where he can't hear or see you, what's going on.

They just pick you up. And you get to just boink after a stressful day that's just prostitution man or a woman and then all these all these people who work for this company aren't aren't it's not for a criminal they have to be registered um and so they can be legal sex workers who are making this decision by themselves just a brothel on wheels. Ain't nothing wrong with that. Well, technically it's illegal right now. I mean, that's why I said we would have to legalize prostitution. Sweet.

I like the idea. But like, I'd like to sit down and talk about that more when I'm not busy having sex. Yeah. And then, and then it drops you off and then it doesn't have, it's very quiet. So your wife doesn't, or your husband, whoever you have, doesn't come out of the house. What if you're just single? Then, um. Do you have to be in a relationship to have this service?

Yes. It's only for married individuals. Ashley Madison Commuting Company. Ashley Madison Bus. See, that's the only way they could actually get back on the map. But, you know, that's a shitty website. Like a website dedicated to cheating. I personally have a very serious issue with that.

I think that's shitty. It's interesting. It's like, it exists. It is this open community of people that are like hey i cheat on my spouse how about you yes i cheat on my spouse as well do you want to cheat on our spouses together absolutely okay and then uh like there can't be that like a lot to like a lot of women use that because when i think those websites you only usually only think of like men using those websites you know yeah like there are tons of women unsatisfied in their

marriage though just it's weird to seek out like a website service for that yeah I'm sure more men signed up for it well anyway Ryan um I need to go have sex now oh yeah same but not with you each each with a respective human female yeah but i'm gonna go have sex so uh we're gonna end the podcast here but uh um before we go have sex you can go check out uh me undies dot com slash super mega for some some great underwear um i won't be wearing any underwear because i'll be having sex but actually it's so comfortable that i'm gonna keep mine on during sex yes yeah i might try that too actually Actually, it's so comfortable that I'm going to keep mine on. During sex? Yes. I might try that too actually. They're so comfortable and their waistband feels so nice

that it's comfortable to stretch down. It feels like an angel is hugging my waist. Exactly. Anyway, guys, why don't you go rate us on iTunes because we want to get in the top 100 comedy podcast. If you guys rate us on iTunes, that can be possible. Listen, guys, if we get in the top 100 comedy podcasts,

we will do something special. We have to come up with it, or else they're going to be like, oh, what? What's so special? We'll fucking wrestle each other in a fucking death match. We will take up the art

of Turkish oil wrestling. We will get oiled up, and we will wrestle each other in a pool filled with water. With water and squeaky and pool toys. That sounds like an obscure fetishist video. We won't do that, but we'll do something. We'll do something. If you can get us in the top 100. Right now we're like number 180, 170 something.

You know what's weird that I realize we could do? What? We could get the fans. We could – you know how they did food battles, whatever, with Smosh? Yeah. And they gave you a choice of ingredients of like what is the donut going up against? We give people like in five sections like different ingredients and they have to choose those ingredients and then we mix those together and we have to eat it that is a genius idea and

we will probably end up doing that ryan i love that idea but guys uh we'll see you next week um please follow us on twitter and all the links in the description yeah and if you haven't subscribe to our youtube channel uh because that because that's we upload every single day every single day it is miserable, please subscribe, it is taxing on our mental health physically, I'm losing weight physically, we're actually

getting back problems this isn't a joke at this point my voice is, I'm losing my vocal range because of screaming into a microphone every day. Our days have become kind of segmented together because it's just a constant in and out. It's just a blur. It's just plain, it's staring at a screen. 2018, we're already three months in.

I want it all to go black. Thanks for listening, guys. We'll see you next week. Bye. Yep.