supermegashow - EP 92 - Shower Beer (ft. Tucker)

Episode Date: June 6, 2018

We talk the Anti-Christ, the perfect taco, and welcome a very special lady. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This NHL season, get more excitement out of every slap shot with FanDuel, North America's number one sportsbook. You can bet on everything from the money line to over-unders to which player will net the first goal. Make your picks and assemble a same-game parlay with FanDuel Sportsbook, home of the SGP. Plus, with FanDuel's quick payouts, you can get paid faster than a breakaway. Make every moment more with FanDuel, official partner of the NHL.
Starting point is 00:00:23 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Let me, uh, you want a sip of this for me? You sure, buddy? It's a real juice. I've never tried one of those. What's this? It gives you, it gives me the same, except I'm awake and like alert and I can get shit done,
Starting point is 00:00:44 but it gives me the same feeling in my heart when I stay up until sunrise. Oh, I hate that feeling. It makes me so uncomfortable. Now that you pointed it out, I feel it. And that's a feeling that I really don't like. Wow, you're so right. Can I try it? Right?
Starting point is 00:00:59 And here I am drinking a second one. You're right. Here I'm drinking a second one. Well, this is how we're getting it started. Yeah, we're talking about five-hour energy shots because I drank a five-hour energy shot about two hours ago. And then I just cracked open a second one for some ungodly reason because I was like, hey, a little more energy wouldn't hurt.
Starting point is 00:01:20 So I'm just going to see what happens. Oh, yeah. And Tucker's here. Oh, hi. You guys have been wanting Tucker forever, and we brought him back. He's been very busy on his press tour,
Starting point is 00:01:32 but now he has enough time. My book signing. He has enough time for the little folk. Did you say your yearbook signing? He's been signing yearbooks. He's been going around signing kids' yearbooks. Tucker, your pupils are insanely dilated right now. Are you on drugs? Do you see how dilated his pupils are? I'm on three five-hour energies right now.
Starting point is 00:01:47 I'm on a 15-hour energy. The DMC. The DMC. Are you on DMCA? DMCA, dude. That's a camo five-hour energy. Where did you find something so beautiful? It actually reminds me of Four Loko.
Starting point is 00:02:01 This is like non-alcoholic Four Loko. Except, it doesn't taste as bad. Can I try it? reminds me of Four Loko. Well, for some reason, this is like non-alcoholic Four Loko. Yeah. Except it doesn't taste as bad. Can I try it? Sure. Five-hour energy still doesn't taste good. No, it doesn't, but nothing beats the shitty taste of Four Loko. Oof. Right? Give it a sip. I don't even know what
Starting point is 00:02:18 that smells like. I mean, obviously there's some flavoring in there. Maybe it's like, yeah, apple. It's green apple. For some reason, green apple is camo. What is five-hour energy? I'll tell you right now whoa you don't like it let me hold it tucker you eat you ate like you eat like bear asshole yeah but bear asshole is not as bad as this have you had bear asshole dude no it's like there's a little bit of a battery acid taste but other than that it's delicious have you ever eaten a bear no What's the weirdest meat you've ever eaten? Have you really never eaten a bear? Ryan, how, like, how are you?
Starting point is 00:02:48 What if a bear? How is that question, my answer to that question crazy to you? No, I've never eaten a bear. Because you, like, live out in the wilderness. Who's eaten the weirdest meat out of all of us? You? No, Tucker's eaten some pretty weird meat recently. Mine is horse.
Starting point is 00:03:01 That's the weirdest I've ever eaten. Which I feel bad saying that. I feel like morally wrong. I've had caribou heart. You can eat caribou. That's not too bad. I'd be embarrassed if I said some things that you ate. You don't want people to know that you ate.
Starting point is 00:03:14 Wait, what did I eat? The dog. You ate dog? Dude, don't talk about the dog. Ryan. He ate like a beagle. Like straight up. Put it on a fucking skewer and shit.
Starting point is 00:03:28 That was a different time in my life. Different time, man. That was acceptable back then. Whatever. I'm not that person anymore. But like legitimately, so you had caribou heart. How was that? How was caribou heart?
Starting point is 00:03:39 It was a little tougher than I would like. Did you feel like you were in Apocalypto? You were absorbing its powers. Yeah. Yeah, I can now, I don't know, like hang out and eat grass. There's this thing where some girl, oh, it was in Game of Thrones where she had to eat a heart to prove herself to Cal. Is this a spoiler? I was about to say Count Drogo.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Count Olaf. Oh, yeah. Count Shokula. It's Drogo Count Olaf The horse heart Horse heart Did it look anything like that? It had space for the blood It had a
Starting point is 00:04:14 Chambers Did you stay away from that? Did you have blood all over your face? The whole thing is the muscle Did you have blood all over your face? It was open the whole thing's the muscle, right? So you eat the whole thing. Did you have blood all over your face? Because it was open. It's not like it was a heart that had been sealed up. Was it cooked?
Starting point is 00:04:29 You're not eating it. It was cooked. It was not raw. He didn't eat a raw caribou. He was actually hiking and just found a dead caribou. This was actually... Took his heart out. All this...
Starting point is 00:04:37 This food was all on my last most recent thing that I did travel-wise. I went up to... most recent thing that I did travel-wise, I went up to, I shot a documentary in Norway that was related to the International Seed Vault, where four different artists and then a fifth researcher who was bringing more artwork, they all brought art related to seeds, and then they deposited it in the seed bank mines
Starting point is 00:05:03 as a ceremonial gesture related to the seeds itself, kind of bringing like a cultural aspect to the seed vault, which is really cool. Yeah, but I had caribou heart and then also had seal and whale while I was there because it was in small bars. Why didn't you start with that one? Because caribou heart is so much weirder. Like caribou, like anyone would fucking eat a caribou. I bet you more people have eaten caribou heart than seal. No, I don't know about that now.
Starting point is 00:05:31 And then you're just like, oh, and by the way, I also had seal and whale. It's like, well, there were three and we only had to talk about one. So I think it's a heart. How often have you had the heart of any animal? Have you ever had the heart of any other animal? Have you ever had any? Who's eaten whale? Or seal?
Starting point is 00:05:46 How do you? Didn't you say whale was just kind of like. Yeah, I just tasted both in there. Yeah, whale and seal are both really similar to each other. It just tastes like steak, but it's kind of like a really uniform texture. When uniform, do you mean just tough? Like there's not that much of fat to help. Was it blubber?
Starting point is 00:06:01 It's just not like a marbling or anything. It's just like a very, you know, uniform material. Was it blubber you were eating? I don't think so. That's a great word. Blubbery? I love, I love because blubber is like the perfect word to describe what it is. It's one of those words where like the name
Starting point is 00:06:18 feels like what it is. Blubber. Just like a fly, you know. Fucking idiot who named that insect. And how did that stick to the rest of the English speaking language? It's like, yeah, that's what it's called, fly. Why aren't bugs in America's
Starting point is 00:06:33 dishes and shit? Why is that? I have no want to eat a bug. I don't go, oh man, you cooked that up, that's gonna be a good bug. Have you ever had bugs? Every once in a while like when I was a kid we would go to I guess like science museums or something they
Starting point is 00:06:49 would have like lasagna with termites in it that's that's fucking gross larvae that is fucking disgusting feed insects to kids it's a way for us to just living larvae termites in lasagna that's like some like fear factor shit. I'm talking
Starting point is 00:07:05 about like, I ate like, I ate like a grub like in science class. Or like the candy that has a scorpion in it. Not fucking like Italian lasagna with termites. Is that real? Yeah. It was, I think it was larvae. Like grubs or whatever you're talking about. But larvae. That's not a dish for bugs.
Starting point is 00:07:22 Yeah, yeah. And then they put ants in cookies. See, that makes sense. That makes sense, yeah. But something about like a goopy dish like lasagna with larvae. I don't like the idea of the like bugs in lollipops because as you're licking the lollipop, all of a sudden the antennas come free. I don't like the feeling of antennas in my mouth. I ate a mealworm.
Starting point is 00:07:41 I ate a mealworm. I threw it in my mouth in science class in high school. A mealworm. Was this on a deer? How is that different than like a red earthworm? A mealworm is, it's one of the little tiny yellow ones that you feed reptiles. Okay. I threw that in my mouth.
Starting point is 00:07:54 It was wriggling around and I bit it and it popped. Very juicy. You ended its life. I killed it. What do bugs taste like? Do they taste like anything? It had really no flavor. Like it wasn't bad. It wasn't gonna be like blood and guts and shit so it's like you're eating everything it's just a juice it's yeah and it's so it's just like a protein juicy
Starting point is 00:08:13 like i can't even remember if it was salt or anything if you eat something that has like wings or something i think there's like you can kind of feel the crusty oh yeah most recently even more recently than when i was a kid, there was an ice cream store. Salt and Straw had Halloween bug ice cream. So they put. Does that not break like health codes? Where was this? Salt and Straw.
Starting point is 00:08:36 What state? Here. California? Yeah. California. Where are we right now? You lived in California when you were a kid? No, no, no. This was last October, November.
Starting point is 00:08:50 I thought you said it was like even before back in childhood. Oh, you said more recent. Sorry, you said more recent. I'm on the right track. I just heard the exact opposite of what you said. That's totally okay. That's like earlier when Ryan said to me like, hey, I'll be in the recording room whenever you're ready. And I'm sitting here for like 15 minutes chilling. Yeah, but for some reason in my head, like what I heard was like, I'm going to go like just, I don't remember even what I heard.
Starting point is 00:09:14 But in my mind, I was like, oh, he's going to use the bathroom and then he's going to come get me when he's ready. It's like 15, 20 minutes go by and then Ryan's just like sitting in the recording room like in silence. And I was like, oh shit. It was nice. It's nice to just kind of relax in silence. I'm glad. I'm glad. That's good.
Starting point is 00:09:27 I was worried you were going to be mad that I let you hang in. What bugs did they have in the ice cream tub? They had grubs and they had crickets. What is grubs? What is grubs? Same kind, like, little art eye. Grubs are those big, fat, white things you find in your garden. So, specifically, that's what a grub is.
Starting point is 00:09:40 When people say grub, that's what grubs are. Maybe they're the big, fat, white bugs. Because Tamu and Pumbaa, they were like, grub is, think so. Grubs are the big fat white bugs. Because Tamu and Pumba, they were like grub is like all of these yummy bugs. Well grubs, that's a joke because grub is another word for food in general. So I think that was what the joke. And my dad had when he was in New York City, he had
Starting point is 00:09:55 grasshopper tacos. Tacos where the meat was grasshoppers. Was it good? Did he enjoy it? Did he eat? They're like crunchy bugs. Yeah. They're protein rich. He and my dad.
Starting point is 00:10:07 Yeah. And he ate like two or three grasshopper tacos. And I'm like, I don't know if I'd be into that. I've eaten, I've eaten earthworm. I'll stick with pork tacos. Yeah, exactly. I'll be like, I'll have some, some, you know, carne asada. I don't need the grasshopper.
Starting point is 00:10:21 I try it. I try a bite just to be like, okay, so that's what that's like. I had earthworm. My friend, when we were kids, had a little mini grill and we were in the woods with it. We saw the movie How to Eat Fried Worms. We cooked an earthworm and he ate it. I took a little bite.
Starting point is 00:10:38 I cannot tell you how disgusting it is. It's literally just like eating dirt. It tastes exactly like dirt. You grilled it up a little bit. You tried to season it, put some salt on it. What we did was we got like vegetable oil and like cooked it in that. And it was gross as fuck. Never done that. Was it full of dirt?
Starting point is 00:10:53 Like when you bit into it? Did it have dirt on it? I think earthworms are mainly dirt. Yeah. It was just dirt on the side. Well, I mean, that's what they, you know. They're called earthworms. They consume a lot of that shit.
Starting point is 00:11:01 Matt, I really appreciate how, I feel like my experiences with bug eating are kind of like, oh, someone cooked the bug and put it into a food. Your experiences are just like, I wonder what this tastes like. Like, you just grabbed some earthworms and popped them into your mouth after you cooked it. I didn't just pop them in my mouth while they're like slimy
Starting point is 00:11:19 and wriggling. Dude, the termite lasagna, that is disgusting. I'll make some for you man like the thing about like i feel like if you have bugs in a dish it needs to be a dish where there's certain dishes and i can't even say like what classifies it but there's certain dishes where it's like okay bugs could work and there's some ones where it's like no lasagna is not a dish i want bugs in it's too like i just don't want bugs in it. Like, I don't feel, do they add much? Well, other cultures eat bugs. Yeah, because they're added protein and something to munch on, I guess.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Well, I feel like. You can season them like chips or like sunflower seeds, I'm sure. If we grew up with them, like we wouldn't have an issue eating bugs. Yeah, but I'm saying there's a place for bugs to be and it's not in pasta. Not in pasta, exactly. What would be your optimum dish to put a bug in? To put bugs in? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:06 Well, it depends on what type of bugs. Honestly, a little baggie of seasoned bugs, like seasoned crickets. They sell that. They sell the little mealworms, like seasoned dried mealworms. And that's a real snack people just munch on, just eat them. Just that. I think bugs fit perfectly into that. In like the chip category.
Starting point is 00:12:22 In like the crouton slash addition category you know what you could probably put them on a salad yeah put them I was about to say put them on a salad yeah
Starting point is 00:12:28 bugs in a salad work great bugs in ice cream you should try that yeah it was a weird combination bugs in a lollipop yeah
Starting point is 00:12:35 rather have a tootsie roll what about a tootsie roll with bugs in it I'd rather just have the tootsie roll okay what about like one of my uber drivers had a thing of Tootsie Rolls
Starting point is 00:12:45 And I didn't take one because I was scared What if you took one and he turned around and slapped your hand Stop! Those are not for my passengers He had those dog training pouches You know the ones with the drawstring He had them timed around the head of his car seat And he just had candies in there
Starting point is 00:13:01 And every time you take one he clicks the little I wish The clicker And he just had candies in there. And every time you take one, he like clicks the little... I wish. The clicker. I tried to do that with Lego, but I gave up. Didn't work. Dude, training animals is hard as shit. Well, you got to be dedicated.
Starting point is 00:13:18 And I just didn't have the time to sit down with him as much. You miss it once, and it's like back to square one. I want to teach him to really bring the ball over to me, though. What's he do with it now? Fetch, he just kind of plops it down. He'll take it to, like, the mat. To me? I mean, there's a lot of different. The doormat.
Starting point is 00:13:33 The mat. I am the mat. The Spanish way of using the word the. El Mateo. I'm El Mateo. That's my new name on Supermega. Wait, sorry. Answering your question earlier, Ryan, like 10 minutes ago, you were like, what's in five-hour energy?
Starting point is 00:13:49 Okay, so this is the extra strength, sour apple flavor, which for some reason, the packaging of all the other ones is like based around the fruit, like the color. This one's camo. So I don't know. Green apple. Green, okay. Green camo. You find apples in the wild. All right, so these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
Starting point is 00:14:08 This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Except for being a little tired bitch. Let's see. Supplement facts. Here we go. It's 1.93 fluid ounces. And let me read you the daily values of everything that's in this. So we have niacin, which that's 200% of my daily value of niacin in this little.
Starting point is 00:14:30 You guys just yawned at the exact same time. Well, he was copying me. Oh, I see. He was mocking me. Would you like some five-hour energy? Huh? Ryan was just yawning. I was making a statement.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Yeah. Do you want five-hour energy? No. It'll get rid of that yawn. Do not want it. Okay. So 200% niacin, vitamin B6. Here we go. statement yeah do you want five iron no it'll get rid of that young do not want it okay so 200 niacin vitamin b6 here we go so the b vitamins are what give you energy
Starting point is 00:14:51 fun fact so if you need some energy to eat something with b vitamins why don't you just take some pills b vitamins oh they have those like a lot of daily vitamin supplements have that instead i'm drinking liquid cancer so yeah two000% of my daily dose of B6. Folic acid, 100%. Now, here's where it gets crazy. Vitamin B12, 8,333% of my daily dose of vitamin B12. This is your second one. This is my second.
Starting point is 00:15:17 So my 16,666. I'm going to tell you, Matt, working out today afterwards and maybe even during, it's not going to feel nice probably. Well, Ryan, I stacked two fire energy. That's 10 hours of energy. That's not how it works. Are you a scientist? I'm sorry, Matt.
Starting point is 00:15:35 That would be cool if that's how it worked, if it worked like a video game or something. I could drink three and have like 15 hours of solid energy. If your energy was like refill energy. That would be great. Instead, it's just gonna like make my heart beat really fast and i'll have a panic attack um okay but there's a little bit of sodium uh less than one percent of my daily dose sodium that's nice of them 230 milligrams of caffeine a cup of coffee has 153 milligrams of caffeine so i've had two of these
Starting point is 00:16:00 and a cup of coffee today so five cups of coffee worth of caffeine. And I also had coffee this morning. That's what I'm saying. I'm adding the... Oh, okay. Yeah. Plus the B. It's got... Oh, it's got taurine in it as well, which is for energy.
Starting point is 00:16:14 Nice. A bunch of things I can't pronounce with L's in front of them. Other ingredients, purified water, natural and artificial flavors, sucralose. Natural flavors? It's got to be good for you, though. And crickets. Oh. That's what's in it.
Starting point is 00:16:29 A little bit of protein. Yeah. Four calories. I mean, it's healthy. It's like, and a cricket in each bottle. Like the tequila worm. If you eat the cricket, you get extra energy. Like the episode of George Lopez where they drank the worm, man.
Starting point is 00:16:46 They drank the worm. And then he was like he was like doesn't that make you hallucinate isn't that supposed to I don't know anything about this I've never heard of a worm in tequila okay well apparently Tijuana is famous for a type of tequila with a worm in it where if you eat the worm you like hallucinate so that's the and part of me feels
Starting point is 00:17:02 like if you drink like strong tequila or something that's drinking the worm I feel feels like if you drink like strong tequila or something you're gonna that's drinking the word i feel like it's become a saying as well yeah i've never i've never seen a bottle of tequila but as the worm i've always wanted to try it i've always wanted to try the worm i'm sure it's gross but it's like why why is why why is there a worm in tequila speaking of bugs in food like well how did that start like who decided that it would be like like commonplace just to drop a dead worm into a bottle of tequila and be like, oh, this is a good selling point. A dead worm in each bottle.
Starting point is 00:17:29 Maybe the hallucinations when the worm ferments. Does the worm ferment the tequila? Probably not. When the worm absorbs the alcohol, the hallucinations get stronger. I'm going to go ahead and say that's the advertising. Does the worm have to do with wormwood, which apparently makes you hallucinate, which is what was in Absinthe? Shit. You're right.
Starting point is 00:17:48 In Four Loko? You figured it out, Matt. Just a theory. Because wormwood is also the name of the asteroid in the Bible that destroys a large population of the earth in Revelations. Is it? Oh, wow. So that hasn't happened yet, though. That's down the road.
Starting point is 00:18:05 When wormwood knocks out a lot of the yeah like i wish the bible was just generic so people that like followed it could just be like see it was just like one one day we will have a ruler and then so anyone can be like the bible was rocked the president oh my god it prophesied everything dude relevate like uh they they take a of like, they step out on a limb. There's some prophecies where it's like people just make those. People are doing that, man. They're talking about the Antichrist. That was Barack Obama.
Starting point is 00:18:33 No. And then it was before that it was George Bush. I think every president has been like, this is the Antichrist. I know. Read the Bible. It matches perfectly. I have not seen any Trump Antichrist things though. Because the people that accuse other people of the antichrist are Trump supporters.
Starting point is 00:18:45 Well, I think that whole thought of the antichrist is becoming less and less so because people are becoming more sinful. Being sinful is more open and you can do it now. Yeah. Mark Zuckerberg I could see is the antichrist. I've never seen someone accused more of being the antichrist than Barack Obama though. Yeah. In my lifetime, definitely. Yeah. Definitely. Definitely. but like um what if like the devil's in you what if what if one of us is the antichrist and we just don't know it i feel like the antichrist would have to know it
Starting point is 00:19:15 maybe it's like it's something you learn when you're like 25 or maybe you get possessed and it's not you at all or like you you discover. It's a transmitting entity. Through a series of events that like, oh, like should I am the Antichrist? Do any of you two. No, I'm not the Antichrist. Any of all of us. Yeah, all two of us. In the room right now. Do you believe in spirits slash demons slash otherworldly shit like that?
Starting point is 00:19:45 No. No? Okay. Sorry that no Matt your turn okay my answer is also no my answer is no but there's a part of me that feels like there could be things beyond our force that we don't understand
Starting point is 00:20:03 but the scientific side of me wants to be like, no, there's no spirits and demons and shit. I just want proof. Just show it. Here's the thing. Show me a spirit. I'm saying no, but I'm not ruling it out. But I'm definitely not saying yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:20 I'm saying that I'm at a point where like, if, if provided the proper experience or proof, I could easily believe it. But based on the empirical evidence that I've seen, I'm going to have to say, no, I do not believe in spirits or ghosts or demons. But they've had several seasons of ghost hunters. It wouldn't be popular if they didn't catch any. They can't legally lie on TV about that. Yeah, true.
Starting point is 00:20:43 It's just entertainment, right? I mean, no. What? Tucker, what's up? It's not entertainment, right? I mean, no. What? Tucker, what's up? I was going to say, it's too convenient. The idea of any of like anything related to like the popular idea of spirituality, like of what Ghost Hunter stands for. Hello.
Starting point is 00:21:00 Of their, you know, like their heart of hearts. It's just too convenient of an idea, you know, like it's too easy for people to come up with that and say, Oh yeah, well there's people after the people are gone, but there's still people, but like you can't see them. Like the same idea of like a heaven and hell.
Starting point is 00:21:15 It's like, it's just too much of, it feels too much of like a human invention for it to be some sort of cosmic, uh, for ghosts or that stuff to be real. for ghosts or that stuff to be real. I feel like we would have to be living in the world of Warcraft or Diablo or some sort of middle earth type dimension. If,
Starting point is 00:21:33 if, if, if ghosts and spirits were real, I feel like there would have been at least one massive documented incident where a demon did some wild shit, you know, Bible. No,
Starting point is 00:21:43 I mean like, like the Bible is a historical book, Matt. That's true. Did you not read the Bible, Matt? Well, hey, have you ever seen those videos where it's like 9-11 and it's like Satan's face and the explosion? What's Satan's face? We don't know what Satan looks like. Oh, yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:21:58 He had horns and had a frown. I love the people that think the actual image of the devil would be like horns and a fucking tail with an arrow at the end of it. Yeah. And he has like an evil grin like is a goatee. Actually one of my favorite interpretations of that devil form was in the Powerpuff Girls was with him.
Starting point is 00:22:18 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My um I think the scariest I thought that was super cool. That's how Danny says hello at Game Grumps Hello! And Aaron goes what the fuck is up And then they tell the joke that we can't keep in But it just starts off with them laughing
Starting point is 00:22:33 So it starts off with like a good kind of feel But the audience has no idea why they're laughing Matt and Ryan cut that out Okay we'll start here Hello! I think the scariest representation of Satan in any movie, I don't remember the movie,
Starting point is 00:22:46 but Satan was literally like a floating like red velvet cloth. And that doesn't sound scary. No, but he was just like this like apparition of like red cloth and it was creepy
Starting point is 00:22:58 because it was like off-putting. That is cool. He would just be like You don't remember what it's from? I don't remember. It was actually
Starting point is 00:23:03 from a biblical movie that had like a Christian message. I like that. It was actually from a biblical movie that had like a Christian message. I like that. It was actually a cool representation of Satan. Very symbolic. He wasn't like an angry red man with horns and like an evil grin. It was just like this weird apparition. I'm into it.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Satan and the Antichrist were like... Have you seen Passion of the Christ? No. Oh, wow. They were just made to be like Voldemort-looking fucks. You were about to sneeze? No, no, no. Oh, you did.
Starting point is 00:23:32 Is that the baby thing? Yeah, the baby thing. I've seen the baby thing. The woman holding the child, that's supposed to be Satan. You're not supposed to? Is the woman Satan or is the child Satan? The woman is Satan. The child is the Antichrist, I believe.
Starting point is 00:23:44 Okay, correct me if I'm wrong, You're not supposed to. The woman is Satan or is the child Satan? The woman is Satan. The child is the Antichrist, I believe. Okay. Okay. Correct me if I'm wrong. But isn't the Antichrist not evil? He's just the false prophet? Like, isn't the Antichrist, like, Satan's evil, but the Antichrist is, like, not evil. He's just the misrepresentation of, like, the next Christ or something? I feel like my mom told me one point like the antichrist is not evil he's not like a bad person he's just a misleading
Starting point is 00:24:11 figurehead that comes as the antichrist to lead people away from the morals that christianity wants you to head towards it has to go against those morals in the first place is he is the antichrist purposely misleading i think i think it would be the same as just any kind of cult leader. I think it would just kind of be, I think the Antichrist is seen as someone who gets a following, gets this mass following of people. It's just essentially a cult that takes over Christianity and leads people away from Christianity and the faith. And the Antichrist is this thing, watch out for the Antichrist. That's the Antichrist because we don't want you to leave Christianity because it's our fun club. And I love everyone here.
Starting point is 00:24:44 And if I don't have my fun club, I want people to talk to on Sundays. That's true. So you're the Antichrist now. No, wait. Now you're the Antichrist. Don't get popular. Don't get a following. Who's the Antichrist?
Starting point is 00:24:55 Jim Jones. Jim Jones? No, he died. The Antichrist never dies. Also, the Antichrist is from the West. The Antichrist wouldn't be this, like, evil fucking... It would just be this kind of like,rist wouldn't be this like evil fucking it would just be this kind of like hey what's up i think it would be like super sly hey yes he's mega
Starting point is 00:25:09 oh no i can see brent being the antichrist hey what you wearing oh my god it all makes sense brink could easily be the antichrist isn't that way okay wait there's no but there's the bible describes the antichrist as, like, a specific, like, set of, like, like, he'll come from, like, the Middle East or something. Well, that's because, like, in all those videos, it would pretty much connect the, it would connect those verses with Obama's past. Yeah, yeah. Like, see?
Starting point is 00:25:41 And, like, the numbers represented with Obama would Obama would be like 666 and shit like that. Hold on. I'll cut back in. Let me just look up what the conditions for the Antichrist. Humid. Rainy. 70 degrees. In Christianity.
Starting point is 00:25:58 Beautiful weather. Antichrist or Greek is Antichristos is a term originated by the apostle John, found solely in the first epistle of John and the second epistle of John. It is, who is the liar but the one who denies that Jesus is the Christ? This is the Antichrist,
Starting point is 00:26:16 the one who denies the Father and the Son. Okay, so it's, so it's a prophet who will deny that Christ is Lord? It's basically just someone who doesn't believe in Jesus who's popular. Everyone here. It's just that shit. Okay. So it's someone who's like, well, it could be anyone.
Starting point is 00:26:32 Then it's Ryan, then, because Ryan's verified. I believe in Jesus. What are you talking about, verified? Why'd you bring that up? Are you trying to hurt Matt's feelings for no reason? Because I'm not verified on Twitter. He has more followers than me. But I'm not verified, so it doesn't mean shit.
Starting point is 00:26:44 Also, I get followed by so many bots, it doesn't mean shit. I'm sure. Like, so many of my followers are bots. I don't know why. I checked my recent followers, it's like half bots. My followers have come to like a dramatic halt. Like, I don't get that many a day anymore. I feel like I ended up in some algorithm for bots to follow me, and that's why I got more followers.
Starting point is 00:27:00 Because it spiked out of nowhere? I didn't do anything? Or Tucker's an antichrist, and he came into this podcast to pit the two of us together You verified and you have more followers fight Hey, hey, and he's wearing a key Tucker's currently wearing a hat. It's a cool story, bro Future future upcoming content. Hopefully you guys will be able to see it. Also Tucker surprise surprise. He's it I'm not making this up. Do you see how dilated this man's pupils are? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:27:27 I mean, I can't really make out. Get close. Get close to him. Look at it. Look at Ryan's pupils. You do have pretty big pupils. No, like, look at Tucker. No, don't move.
Starting point is 00:27:35 Don't move. Ryan, come here. Get up close and look at. You don't want the light to change or whatever? Yeah. I just want to see in this position. Look at Tucker's pupils. Ryan's looking directly at my eyes.
Starting point is 00:27:48 Are they the same compared to Matt's? Like, are Matt's any bigger? What's wrong with my pupils? Ryan's pupils look big, too. Look at me, Ryan. Let me see those pupils. Your pupils look average to me. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:28:02 I don't know what my pupils look like. I can't see my own pupils. Showing my pupils! Are you on drugs, son? Yes. Son, my God. I don't know what my pupils look like. I can't see my own pupils. Showing my pupils. Are you on drugs, son? Yes. Son, have you been doing illegal drugs? Yes. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well.
Starting point is 00:28:18 I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small. Well, whether it's an everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is Angie that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions and Angie can handle
Starting point is 00:28:56 the rest from start to finish or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. It's called Watching Too Much of the Music Video.
Starting point is 00:29:33 This is America by Childish Campino. It's really good. It's a very good music video. It's a fucking great music video. Yeah. Hey, this is America. Music video was made for us. For, yes. Thank you. It's a music video was made for us for us music video
Starting point is 00:29:48 he was trying to talk directly to us moving right along from that what are your favorite if each of you could have one taco and it would be the perfect taco what would you put in your take this seriously Matt what would be the perfect taco
Starting point is 00:30:04 for both of you? You can only have one. It's a normal-sized taco. I already know. You can choose your kind of shell. You can choose the type of... Oh, yeah. I'm about to go all out with this one, but you go first.
Starting point is 00:30:15 Go ahead. Soft shell. Okay. You know, one of those, you know, put pork in there. Some spicy pork, sorry. I forgot the name for it. They sell it at Taco Del Gordo, which is a wonderful place in San Diego.
Starting point is 00:30:27 I was going to go in San Diego, but it was 3 a.m. when I got done with the Mega 64 video. And I, it was close. It's so good, you need to go there. Someone in San Diego told me to go there. It's, it's, so we got spicy pork. Put some caramelized onions in there. Okay, nice.
Starting point is 00:30:42 Cheese on top. What type of cheese? Just Mexican cheese. Okay. And then Cheese on top. What type of cheese? Just Mexican cheese. Okay. And then just drizzle some queso on that. Then put some sour cream on there. Put a little bit of guac. Yes.
Starting point is 00:30:55 Put some of that good old, put both kinds. Put the green salsa and regular salsa. Christmas. Just little bits. Oh, yeah. Just kind of drizzle them on there. A little Christmas taco. Yeah. And wrap that taco up and regular salsa. Just little bits. Just kind of drizzle them on there. A little Christmas taco. Yeah. And
Starting point is 00:31:07 wrap that taco up and eat it. That sounds amazing. Yeah. That's a great taco. Actually, also, add a bit of pinto bean. Okay. Yeah. That's good. My dream taco. Soft shell. Flour tortilla, not corn tortilla. Soft shell. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to for my for my meat i'm actually
Starting point is 00:31:27 gonna do fish i'm gonna do a fish taco okay i was gonna do the same thing you're gonna do a fish taco okay i'm gonna do a fish taco different tucker i thought it was special some kind of some kind of like maybe like fried tilapia tilapia how do you say it tilapia tilapia tilapia tilapia it's tilapia tilapia fried fried tilapia okay like beer battered tilapia tilapia tilapia it's tilapia slap you okay lapia fried fried tilapia okay like beer battered tilapia all right on my flour tortilla then i'm going to put um mango salsa okay i'm going to put some lettuce uh not tomatoes because that's included with the mango salsa i'm going to put cilantro i'm going to put mexican cheese and then i'm going to put a uh for the sauce i'm gonna put like
Starting point is 00:32:13 something something unique oh some sour cream but i'm also for the sauce i'm gonna do like some kind of like uh soy sauce no like like like a verde salsa like a, like a verde salsa, like a pineapple salsa. So you got mango and pineapple together. Right, and then, I said cilantro, right? Yeah, you're killing me with that cilantro, by the way. I'm not a cilantro kind of guy. We'll talk about that in a minute, but top it off. I'm going to take a lime wedge.
Starting point is 00:32:38 I'm going to squeeze the lime on top. Boom, that's my dream taco. That's nice. The lime is very important. Lime is crucial. Do you like lime on things, Ryan? I wouldn't know. Have you never put lime on anything? No. You gotta try it. It's just Corona.
Starting point is 00:32:53 And even that didn't make the Corona taste any better. Corona's just gross. Corona's just like piss water. It's not good. My dad drinks Corona. The most recent beer I've really enjoyed is, uh, Pacifico.
Starting point is 00:33:07 Yeah. But what taco would you want to have? Well, what taco would I want to have? All right. Um, what are you looking for, Matt?
Starting point is 00:33:14 What are you doing? Matt stood up. He's looking around. He looks disappointed. What's up? What? You threw what? My beer.
Starting point is 00:33:19 Letty threw it away. She threw away your beer? Letty threw away my can of beer. Oh, well. Oh, no. I have to get her fired.
Starting point is 00:33:25 I have to plant some, uh. Well, you do what you got to do. Yeah. So, anyways, Tucker. Continue, Tucker. If I theoretically, like, took away something that's yours, would you try and get me kicked out of the office? Yeah. All right.
Starting point is 00:33:40 Yeah. Just checking to make sure, like, in the future or the past. Cool. Yeah. I didn't take anything, by the way. There's nothing missing. Well, if I discover that something of mine is missing, I'm gonna go directly to Aaron and make up some bullshit. I don't think there's anything over there that's actually harassing me. Everything you have is still all together. It's fine.
Starting point is 00:33:57 Okay, Tucker. Yeah, so, favorite taco. Yeah, I gotta admit, fish is the way to go. So, start with the flour tortilla. You know, it's the classic for us American white boys. It's the Vlasic. That's a crunch.
Starting point is 00:34:13 The Vlasic. It's literally not on the fish boat. Not as like the best taco. Fish boat. Tucker's dream taco is a Doritos taco shell with a slice of pickle inside, and that's it. And a cold, undescaled, still-scaled fish. It's just a fish in there with a pickle. That sounds like a great hot dog taco.
Starting point is 00:34:41 Yeah, this is what I actually wanted. I was going to pretend like I was just like you, but that's all I really want. In fact, take away everything. I just want the shell of the Dorito taco. I just want Doritos. Just a big Dorito. What do you actually want on your dream taco? I want flour tortilla.
Starting point is 00:34:58 I want cod, beer-battered cod, like fish and chips kind of cod. You know what? Light, fluffy, delicious. I want that as my fish instead of tilapia. Okay, alright. And then I want... Get this fish out of here. Have you ever had a fish taco? Yeah. They're great. He's not into it. It's just not a taco to me. It's definitely a taco.
Starting point is 00:35:16 It's not a true taco to me. Definitely a taco. Hey. It is a taco, but it's not like, when I think of tacos, it's like, that's just kind of like another... So it's like a separate genre of tacos. Yeah. Yeah. I can understand that. that's just kind of like another... It's like a separate genre of tacos. Yeah. Yeah. I can understand that.
Starting point is 00:35:27 Still a taco. Like one where it's like, okay, I'll have one, but I can have like five of these. You split them up. Like you have one fish taco and three pork tacos. I fucking love fish tacos. Fish tacos are amazing. Ever had Bang Bang Shrimp at Bonefish Grill? That's really good.
Starting point is 00:35:40 They serve it in tacos too. Ooh, shrimp taco. That sounds good too. So on top of the fish. Yeah. I mean, pertaining to the bang bang shrimp. I mean, I assume it's some kind of spicy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:51 Yeah, exactly. So like a spicy kind of like. Spicy and sweet. Maybe like a spicy mayo kind of sauce. Yeah. Okay. I get that. Something that's a little bit more.
Starting point is 00:35:59 Sriracha mayo. Tucker, you're bringing me over to the fish taco thing. Exactly. Yeah. That sounds delicious. It's almost like buffalo chicken, but with fish, which means it's a little lighter and more folio party. Tucker, can we make this actually? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:11 Guys, we've got to have a taco. I don't know how to batter. Not Matt's fucking mango, lime, whatever that is. Yeah, what the fuck, dude? But, Tucker, whatever you're saying right now is really making me scream. Ryan, don't knock lime until you try it. When you put lime on Mexican food, it will change your life. You're saying your goofy little taco that you made with colors and mangoes and shit.
Starting point is 00:36:31 I didn't call yours goofy. Yeah, because it's a taco that most people get. That's not a taco most people get. Pork and cheese and beans. It's a classic taco. That's my Taco Tuesday taco. In fact, it's more of a burrito than a taco. Well, why you gotta why you gotta be slamming on my taco choice? Tacos goofy as fuck man. It's not goofy. It's a gourmet taco. That's a delicious taco.
Starting point is 00:36:54 That's a delicious taco. Guys in the comments. Okay, hold on. I have to agree with Matt on this one No, no, no Let Tucker finish his and I want people in the comments to say whose taco is the most appetizing. Out of the fish ones? Out of the all three tacos. Well, I mean, it's not fair. You're going high class fish versus fucking pork. But you said people like that more, so maybe... The pork can be good, too.
Starting point is 00:37:12 It's more of a general audience thing. But I feel like the two fishes need to clash. Here's my question, Ryan. Is the pork in your taco like a pulled pork kind of thing, or is it more like chorizo kind of like ground up with a bunch of spice in it? Like the pork we had today. Like it's pulled pork. It's like very soft. I like the texture of very soft pork. Yesterday, yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:34 Or yesterday, sorry. And like the pork that you get at taco trucks. Okay. Okay, so here's the thing about this fish taco. It's kind of simple because I can't think of I mean, the things I would put on it would be like a very thinly Here's the thing about this fish taco. It's kind of simple because I can't think of... The things I would put on it would be a very thinly sliced lettuce.
Starting point is 00:37:51 Something very... It's not even a really heavy lettuce. It's heading in the wrong direction. Oh my God. Maybe we'll even out here. Very simple lettuce, like an iceberg. Just something that adds some texture and it's cold. A little crunchy.
Starting point is 00:38:05 Yeah, adds some crunch. And then like, man, I can't like some cheese, like some white, some white cheese. Good, good. Either like a salty mozzarella or like something a little with a little more flavor, like a goat cheese. I can get my goat cheese. Okay. Is there anything else you'd put on the taco?
Starting point is 00:38:24 Man, there might be like- If that's it, then I'm kind of down. Lime. It's very simple. Because you're not adding anything like lime. Yeah. goat cheese. Is there anything else you'd put on the taco? If that's it, then I'm kind of down. You're not adding anything. I was afraid you would add eggplant, grapefruit, and bananas. Grapefruit and bananas? Banana might not be bad on a taco.
Starting point is 00:38:38 Here's the topper. You put plums on top. Just whole plums. I'm backing out instantly now. I had Japanese plum wine that had whole plums on top. Just whole plums. I'm backing out instantly now. I'm not into that one. I had Japanese plum wine that had whole plums in it, and I ate one of the plums, and it was very gross.
Starting point is 00:38:53 Never had a plum. I left plums at your house, Ryan. Did you eat them? No. Plums are great. I love plums. Probably all rotten and gross. Plums are my favorite fruit. Where'd you leave the plums? I don't know. I have not noticed any plums in my house. They're somewhere around your house. Shit, dude. They're somewhere in your house. You better find those. Theyums are my favorite fruit. Where'd you leave the plums? I don't know. I have not noticed any plums in my house. They're somewhere around your house. Shit, dude. They're somewhere in your house.
Starting point is 00:39:07 You better find those. You gotta look. They're probably in my fruit. He's probably like a fucking wild animal and buried them somewhere. In my yard. Under your dirty clothes. Lego's just gonna be like digging somewhere and he's like, what's wrong, Lego? And he's like, I gotta find the plums.
Starting point is 00:39:19 And then he's dead. I reach into his throat and pull out a plum. Yeah. I'd be very sad if that happened, Tucker. What if Lego died because I put plums in your backyard and you choked on them when he dug them up? That would be a very fucking unfortunate incident, I would say. What would happen to your friendship? I'd be very fucking mad.
Starting point is 00:39:39 I'd be just... I wouldn't stop being friends with you, but I'd definitely be pissed and hold it over you for the rest of our friendship there'd be a rift you would have to do you'd have to cause some kind of trauma to him with a plumb
Starting point is 00:39:50 because you killed my friend Lego's like my roommate yeah but it wasn't my fault that I have complete control over it wasn't my fault Ryan you would have to cause some plumb related incident
Starting point is 00:39:59 in his life that would fuck him up to make it even he could kill his parents with some plums you could get his dad to choke on a plum you could poison the plums feed them to my parents
Starting point is 00:40:08 that's too intentional so you didn't mean to kill the dog with the plums so he's gonna have to do something if it's like yeah but here's the thing Matt if he does anything at all related to plums it's already premeditated it's not like cause I was just burying the plums cause you know that's what I do.
Starting point is 00:40:25 He'll do things where he can still be arrested for negligence. Like if you're holding a gun going, oh, I didn't mean to kill anyone. Yeah. You still killed someone. You still killed my dog with your negligence of burying plums in my backyard. Yeah, but I didn't mean to. Get this fly out of here. There's a fucking fly in here?
Starting point is 00:40:43 That's what's important. Oh, my God. I see it. I see it. It's not... What is that? It's a fly. It's not a regular fly. It's like a fruit fly or something. It's like a special type of fly. It's cute. Could be a little mosquito too. Yeah. It's like a... It's like a...
Starting point is 00:40:56 It needs to land. No, that's definitely a fly. What type of fly? Did you get him? No. Is it just like a small fly or is it like... Yeah, it's just small. It's probably a teenager right now. He's coming over here. Stay. Stay back. Matt, I'm going to give you a chance to redevelop your taco.
Starting point is 00:41:12 For your tasting? Yes. I'll make an alternate taco. I stand by my first one. I need to make clear there's a lot of sauce in this taco. The taco is very simple. It's cheese, meat, and then a little bit of lettuce. The sauce is very important. It's just cheese, meat, and then a little bit of lettuce.
Starting point is 00:41:26 And then the sauce is very important because it's just a lot of sauce. And here's the thing. I like a lot of different tacos. This is one taco of a few. I also, personally, I like Matt's taco. I think it'd be great. I think it'd be delicious. I like your taco. I also think it'd be great. But I think all these three
Starting point is 00:41:42 tacos together would make a very nice complimentary group of tacos. That's true. I don't have as big of a range in terms of food that I like. I'm a very picky person, unfortunately. You'll eat one of mine and two of yours, and then we'll all be happy. How about I'll make an alternate taco for you, Ryan.
Starting point is 00:42:00 I'll make a breakfast taco. A flour tortilla. Ready? Scrambled egg. Chorizo sausage. Yes. Nice. Exactly. A flour tortilla. Scrambled egg. Chorizo sausage. Nice. Exactly. A little bit of sautéed onion.
Starting point is 00:42:12 Yes, I'll do that. I'll let it slide because sautéed onion does taste good. It tastes better. Don't like the texture, but I do love the flavor. We're going to get some melted Mexican cheese on there. Mexican cheese is... Then a sa a sauteed combination a vegetable mix not a lot but just it's it's it's it's red bell pepper mushroom and potato
Starting point is 00:42:32 nice those go well the things that we've been eating yes all these things so you're basically almost almost done yeah yeah finish you're gonna get some a very delicious red hot sauce okay drizzle on top crystal crystal hot sauce. Okay. Crystal hot sauce. That's my favorite hot sauce. It's delicious. That's the breakfast taco. I do like that taco. The only reason I had a problem with your taco beforehand was because it's like, in my view,
Starting point is 00:42:55 it's like I'd rather just have the fish with the sauce drizzled. I don't want it to be in that taco. Okay, what if I changed my taco so it's not a fish taco? What if it's like... What if it's just fish with just a pork? What if it's the same taco, it's just fish with just a pork? What if... It's the same taco. It's pork instead, though.
Starting point is 00:43:07 Probably. You like it? Just because pork is a very strong flavor. Pork is actually... And fish can sometimes be... It can fall to the wayside to the other flavors. That's true. Here's...
Starting point is 00:43:21 You know, something I'd be interested in trying is my fish taco with, instead of lettuce, a coleslaw medley. Dude. That would be really good. I had a fish taco when I was in Charleston, South Carolina that was fried cod, a coleslaw, pineapple coleslaw with cilantro, lime
Starting point is 00:43:42 and sriracha. That sounds fantastic. Guys, I have to be honest. I don't think it's fair for me to judge these fish tacos. Why not? I've never had one. I thought you said you had fish tacos earlier. I had, no, I had bang bang shrimp. Have you ever had a fish taco?
Starting point is 00:43:56 Yeah. You've never had a fish taco? Because that's similar to a fish taco. Shrimp is in the same category. Fish tacos are their own thing. It's not like a fishy taste when you get a fish taco. It's like a light kind of meat taste. It's like a fluffy.
Starting point is 00:44:09 It's really, really nice. Here's the thing. And you can take a bite, and then if you don't like it, you don't like it. That's fine, but you've got to try it. And same, you've got to try lime on Mexican food, because lime on Mexican food takes it to another level. And here's the thing. Fish tacos, before I ever had them, first I was like, fish tacos? That sounds gross.
Starting point is 00:44:24 Like, fish on a taco? I tried it, First I was like, fish tacos? That sounds gross. Like fish on a taco? I tried it and I was like, holy shit, this is incredible. We may have to take this podcast, get these ingredients down and make a taco video. Tacos for Ryan. Yes. Here's the thing. We already have- Tacos for all.
Starting point is 00:44:37 We try each other's tacos. We have all the ingredients for that breakfast taco that Matt was talking about back at Matt's apartment. Well, we're not, let's not invite people to my place. Everybody come to Matt's apartment and then we can all... Say the address? That's the war of the tacos, boys.
Starting point is 00:44:53 I don't think anyone's wins or loses. I think they all sound like delicious tacos and I'd love to eat all of them. What's your mango one again? There's like mango and fish. It has like a mango salsa on it. Mango salsa is delicious mango salsa and pineapple it's like a it's like a mango salsa with like pineapple coleslaw i guess amazing oh shit mango sauce sounds good i've never had mango salsa it's it's basically like it's it's
Starting point is 00:45:15 a very it's not spicy it's very mild salsa with you know like you got like diced tomatoes and stuff like regular salsa but it also has chunks chunks mango in it. So it adds like a sweet flavor to it. It's good. It's really good. They used to sell it. Like Tostitos used to make mango salsa. They have it at supermarkets. They still do? Yeah, if you go to the fresh salsa section. I gotta get some of that. It's so good. We need to make that
Starting point is 00:45:37 white sauce taco though. White sauce fish. Spicy. The spicy sriracha mayo. Oh yeah. Sriracha mayo is good guys hold on so good like mix it up and it's like this kind of like just it's i don't know how to like a like a orange cream kind of color actually that makes me think of sweet things i don't like orange like cream circle yeah i don't want guys i don't want that did you know uh on the taco that you just explained not anymore heinz ketchup has a new uh condiment out
Starting point is 00:46:05 what i want to know what it is no it's literally just mayonnaise and ketchup it's called mayo chub yeah but they're selling this now honestly okay i actually like the flavor of mayonnaise and ketchup i agree together like if if i don't like the inclusion of mustard that much i feel like it's like too much of a thing i i like ketchup and mayonnaise together like if it is if they were to accidentally put mayonnaise with my cheese sorry my hamburger plain only ketchup i wouldn't mind because it's actually good it's great flavor here's the thing though mayonnaise and ketchup as a flavor combination is not bad because i eat it on a lot of things on my burgers i get mayonnaise and ketchup and mustard but here's the thing right but when it's just by itself as a mixed condiment
Starting point is 00:46:48 and it's like pink, I can't get behind it. It just looks gross. I want to try it though. It sounds good. It sounds good. But what's the color? Have you seen the actual condiment? When you mix ketchup and mayonnaise together, what happens when you mix ketchup and mustard?
Starting point is 00:47:04 What happens when you mix red with white, sucker? What are you talking about white? Is it? I said mayonnaise and ketchup. Mayonnaise and ketchup? What did you think he was saying? I said it was mustard and ketchup. No, mayonnaise and ketchup.
Starting point is 00:47:13 Mayonnaise and ketchup. Doesn't that sound good? Mayo chop. Not the color. Well, like. We're all on the same page. No, we're not. We're all in.
Starting point is 00:47:23 It's also. We're all in a different book and several chapters deep it's also it's just Russian dressing without the relish guys FYI
Starting point is 00:47:30 Russian dressing is literally mayonnaise ketchup and relish so next time you put that on your salad just think about you're basically just putting mayonnaise ketchup and relish
Starting point is 00:47:37 on your salad I don't think I like relish is relish that that like it's green shit yeah you put it on hot dogs it's really good
Starting point is 00:47:44 sweet it's really good sweet it's really good that's one thing that I legitimately have tried and do not like relish I can have a good old chili dog though
Starting point is 00:47:51 do you like normal pickles I don't like pickles well that's fair that you don't like relish that's perfectly okay I think adding pickle juice in certain recipes does add a lot
Starting point is 00:48:00 but I don't like pickles straight up you know what pickle juice is right pickle juice is just vinegar that's had pickles in it. You can have little bits of pickles and shit. Mix it up. Do you guys know,
Starting point is 00:48:09 I found out that pickles were just cucumbers soaked in vinegar like two years ago when I was like 20. That's when I found out that pickles were literally just cucumbers and not their own thing. Do you like to talk to tomatoes? Dude. Right? You didn't learn the difference in VeggieTales? I did not.
Starting point is 00:48:26 And I felt like a dumbass when I found out. Were they tortured Larry and he turned into a pickle? I saw this video of this Swedish guy. They hung him upside down? They waterboarded him with vinegar? I watched this video of a Swedish guy getting mad and he just sounded like a VeggieTales character. He sounded just like a VeggieTales character. All those Swedes.
Starting point is 00:48:41 He just sounded like a VeggieTales character. He sounded just like a VeggieTales character. All those Swedes. He was some guy getting mad because people were saying that the Turks invented meatballs. And he was trying to defend it and getting really mad. And he's like, enough! But his accent just sounded like a straight up VeggieTales character. It was on Twitter.
Starting point is 00:48:57 I don't know where it is now, though. Wait. Guys, since we're talking about food, you know what my favorite food is? Honey. And speaking of honey, let's hear a little ad read for honey. Hey, Matt. Yeah, Ryan? When you shop online, do you suddenly turn into a tab hoarder?
Starting point is 00:49:14 You know it, brother. Loading dozens and dozens of new tabs on your browser in search of a promo code, just one that works. I'm always looking for a promo code, Ryan, and I can never find the best of the good one. Before you crash your browser yet again, try Honey. Honey is the free browser add-on that over 9 million people are using every day to save money while they shop online. You're messing with me. Stop messing with me. No, in just
Starting point is 00:49:35 two clicks, you can add Honey to any browser for free. Then shop like you normally do. Honey scans and tests millions of coupons in the background and at checkout, Honey automatically applies the best coupon. Time magazine calls Honey basically free money. Over 9 million people use Honey every day, and together, they've saved millions of dollars. I remember when I first downloaded Honey. It was great. I saved so much money with that simple browser add-on plug-in.
Starting point is 00:50:03 I downloaded Honey like last year before they even contacted us because I like free money. There's no reason not to add Honey to your browser today. It's free, takes just two clicks to install, and will save you tons of money. Get Honey for free at joinhoney.com slash megacast. That's two words, joinhoney.com slash megacast to start saving with Honey today. That's joinhoney.com slash megacast. That's two words. Join Honey.com slash Megacast to start saving with Honey today. That's JoinHoney.com slash Megacast. It's also in the description, so
Starting point is 00:50:31 go check that out, guys. Thank you to Honey for sponsoring our podcast. Now, Ryan, we've had Tucker sitting over here all taped up. He's not allowed to speak. Let's rip this tape off. Alright, Tucker, you can speak again. Let's get back to the podcast. Okay. Boy.
Starting point is 00:50:51 Guys, let's talk about current events that will be outdated by the time we post this podcast. Yeah. So how about that Elon Musk dating that Grimes fella? Grimes fella? They're dating? Yeah, Elon Musk and Grimes are dating. Who's Grimes? Whoa. The artist, the musical artist.
Starting point is 00:51:04 Yeah, with the music video at the racetrack. And she's dancing around with headphones on. And she's saying, what's that song where there's the racetrack music video? I saw some music video recently. Where it was like some British singer. And she was in a bunch of different locations. And she was like in a little chair. Hannah Montana. She had a phone on. Your thing. It's Caracaro Bonito. Okay. That was in a bunch of different locations and she was like in a little chair Hannah Montana she had a phone on
Starting point is 00:51:26 your thing it's Caracaro Bonito that was take a break I don't remember the song but the song's like she's wearing sunglasses and she's sitting in a lawn chair and it's just in different locations seeing how people react to her that's Caracaro Bonito it's one of my favorite bands I've seen him live twice
Starting point is 00:51:42 wow it's a good music video it probably popped up on the record. Is it a band or is it just her? She's the singer of the band. She's the focus. It's two guys and her. But she's definitely the main focus. Like when people think of Cara Carobonito, they think of her.
Starting point is 00:51:52 Yeah, Sarah Bonito. Oblivion. Oblivion. Not trying to put the other two people out. It's Oblivion. I'm just saying it seems like the person who sings is always kind of like the one up front. Yeah, she's great. I would gladly marry her.
Starting point is 00:52:04 I am obsessed with her. Do you know if she has any problems? I have no idea if she has a boyfriend. You could ask. Sarah Bonito, if you hear this on this podcast, I'm in love with you. Matt's number is... No, I don't want to say it because people are actually going to start hounding a person. Please don't embarrass me in front of Sarah Bonito, guys.
Starting point is 00:52:25 Please. Let's not take this too Sarah Benito, guys. Please. Let's not take this too far. Guys, you want to hear a fun fact? Yes. Last night, I was in my room, and I was listening to the Biz Markie hit, Just a Friend. You say he's just a friend. You say he's just a friend. Oh, baby, you got what I need. You say he's just a friend oh baby you got what i need you say he's just yeah it's essentially you know
Starting point is 00:52:49 we get it yeah just for those who didn't know did you know that that's an 80s song yeah because my step my stepmom was the one who like was like introduced me to this song she's like i don't know she was she uh we were talking about weird music and she's like she just brought it up and I'm like okay and I checked it out and I was like this is weird because you don't expect someone that just sings badly to have a big ol' hit
Starting point is 00:53:15 it's so good it's such a good song it feels good to sing you don't feel bad about singing it this dude's not hitting any notes whatsoever but last night I was listening to it and I was like what year is this song from I was gonna say like 96 97 1989 that's an 80s hit technically so I'm like
Starting point is 00:53:31 what the fuck because by the mid like isn't it like by the mid turn of the decade type of thing like 85 is essentially like going into the 90s but just the fact that it's technically from the 1980s is just bizarre to me. You know what's a good song?
Starting point is 00:53:49 Fuck it, who's it by? It's called, I think it's called I Wish. It's like, I wish I was taller. I wish I was a baller. I wish I was taller. I wish I was taller. I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her. Yep, that song.
Starting point is 00:54:02 That's a good song, too. That's one of those old hits. I think they came out with, like, a rap version yep that song that's a good song too it's like that's one of those old hits i think they came out with like a rap version or something it is a rap song there was like there was this thing where they took a lot of uh kind of like angsty teen songs and made them into like rap or into like screamo they like remixed them really it was like this popular thing they would do with songs because because when I was in high school I think yeah yeah yeah because the original song was um fucking where is it it was a look at ski low I wish it was by ski low it was and he in the music video he's sitting on a park bench and he's like sitting on a park this song
Starting point is 00:54:37 here comes wait wait wait for it taller I wish I was a baller No, no. Okay, now it makes sense. No, no, no. What it was is it was taking that song and making it into one of those whiny teen things. So it turned into I wish I was a baller I wish I had a girl who looked good
Starting point is 00:54:56 I would call her I'm going to see if I can find that. What are these songs from? Like what are the years that these songs came out? So what is that song called? Early 90s. What is that song called? I Wish by Ski Low.
Starting point is 00:55:03 I Wish. Ski Low. Love me some Ski Low, man. Ski Low Green. Ski Low. Ski Low. Yeah, Ski Low. You can ski high and you can ski low. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:55:16 I'd love to go skiing soon. I've been skiing in a long time. Let's go skiing, man. What genre is that angsty, like, shit? Like, give me an artist that sings like that. I don't know. Like, Panic at the Disco, My Chemical Romance. It's alternative.
Starting point is 00:55:34 Not, not. It's just like alternative, right? I'm trying to find it, because mid-2000s alternative. I chime in with a haven't you people ever heard of? Closing the goddamn door. Don't see the GD. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Don't take the Lord ever heard of? Closing the goddamn doors I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Don't take the Lord's name in vain. I know this is going on the radio.
Starting point is 00:55:50 Punk goes crunk. Don't pay the fine. There's some punk in it, yeah. This is it. Oh, God. Punk goes crunk? Yeah. Oh my God, the picture for that video.
Starting point is 00:56:02 It just says crunk. It was this. There were kids that would play this after school, like in the parking lot. It was this version. That's horrible. Here we go. Dude, that's like 303. Remember 303?
Starting point is 00:56:14 Yes, exactly. It's like that era of like LMFAO, 303. Like that was a bad time for music. That was a really, that was like the dark ages of music. Yeah. Well, I mean, there has to be the learning stage. Yeah. We're in a really good phase of music right now.
Starting point is 00:56:28 Because people are understanding the tools that are being used now. And they're looking at like, I feel like the 2000s was a terrible time for music. Like the worst. Well, people were just getting into it. Like creating digital music. There's a lot of genres. Yeah, some genres were making horrible, horrible music. And then some were making really interesting music.
Starting point is 00:56:43 No, no. There's always been good music. Kind of split up, yeah. But in general, the hits like... I'm sorry. Really shitty pop. Cranked Out by Soulja Boy. That was a hit song.
Starting point is 00:56:51 That song sucks. The hits back then, like LMFAO, Kesha, 303, Soulja Boy. Nothing against Soulja Boy. I love Soulja Boy. But specifically, that era was bad for music. And now I feel like we're in a great era for music especially rap I feel like rap is in like a very good place right now I mean it was so
Starting point is 00:57:09 like rap was really bad in the mid 2000s and now it's gotten to a really good point well it's had so much well maybe it's not for you Matt I never said it was for me I said it's at a good point though coming from a white man saying that rap was bad how dare you at all you should not have an opinion on anything that makes me uncomfortable from a white man saying that rap was bad? How dare you? At all.
Starting point is 00:57:25 You should not have an opinion on anything that makes me uncomfortable. So my tacos suck. I'm not allowed to talk about rap music. Yeah, because you're trying to appropriate Mexican and black culture. Shit, that's true. Shit, man. Maybe I'm the Antichrist.
Starting point is 00:57:42 That's how it starts. In the Bible, it says he will make a shitty taco. He'll make a shitty taco and he will wrongly assert himself into hip hop culture. He will speak as both of you already did with your goddamn beautiful hit
Starting point is 00:57:57 from the late 2015's Go on. What song? Which one? Blonde Boys? Blonde Boys. It's not a hit. Tucker, Blonde Boys is not rap. It's a hit. There's rap in it, but it's... It's not rap at all. I don't even know what you would classify that genre. It's a hip hop jam. It's hip hop. It's like, you know,
Starting point is 00:58:14 back when they used to make videos just like with a green screen and people were just talking and telling a story and that was the song. Like Sugar Hill Gang. We're just blonde boys doing what blonde boys do bleached hair fair skin makes the ladies swoon we're just blonde boys doing what blonde boys do stop it chilling out song kissed hair like a can of soda exploded and coated my head in golden
Starting point is 00:58:35 this is not what i meant to happen this is stop what do you not like blonde boys yeah i mean you just accused of i mean in the song we make clear that You know TV and movies they're made for us This lack of pigment is a major plus We're just blonde boys doing what blonde boys do Boys it's 2018 Got the complexion of an albino baboon I think it's a different I don't know blonde boys like still pops up every now and then
Starting point is 00:58:58 Like people there's like a surge Every year It's a good fucking video It's a good song Speaking of music videos we do have some We have some new shit on the way surge every year. It's a good fucking video. It's a good song. Hey, well, I mean, speaking of music videos, we do have some new shit on the way. Well, not anytime soon. It's going to take a long
Starting point is 00:59:11 time, but we do have songs essentially done and ready. We have songs ready to make music videos for, and I feel like just May and June and July are big vacations. Yeah, basically we're both going to South Carolina and then June we're going to Japan. July I'm going on a road trip. Inolina and then june we're going to japan july i'm going on a road trip in between that though we're going to work on these music videos
Starting point is 00:59:28 we got our boy tucker prescott cinematographer extraordinaire uh on the case um and then uh we actually i'm really excited for some of these music videos we got coming out so i think you guys are gonna like these videos too some of these other exciting uh basically narrative masterpieces that we're going to put out. Yeah, absolutely. One of them has to do with the hat you're wearing right now. It's a cool story, bro. Yep.
Starting point is 00:59:50 I'm excited for that one. It'll be good. Real good. Whenever we can. And the movie reviews. Legitimately coming out. Matt and Ryan's. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:59:59 Who knows? Movie reviews. I saw one of those Eric Andre memes where it was like Hannibal Buress sitting in the chair it was Eric Andre shooting Hannibal Buress and it said over Hannibal Buress
Starting point is 01:00:15 Hannibal Buress it said movie review series and then Eric Andre's I don't remember anymore can we just pretend like I didn't even bring this up in the first place? No, no, no, I got it. Shut up, Tucker. Shut the fuck up. I'm sorry, Ryan.
Starting point is 01:00:32 Okay, Matt. I got you. I'm gonna guess at what it probably was. I'm gonna help you out here, brother. Hit me with it, bro. Hannibal Buress was probably my hopes. And then the gun was the movie review. No, no. That would be if we were delivering it. Hold up. gun was the movie review. No, no.
Starting point is 01:00:47 That would be if we were delivering it. Hold up. I got to think about it. I think Hannibal Buress was movie review series. Okay. And Eric Andre was. Fuck, dude. Matt and Ryan.
Starting point is 01:00:56 Matt and Ryan. We were Eric Andre. And then the gun was my hopes and dreams. I don't know. The gun was like, the movie reviews are coming soon. And Hannibal Buress was the fans. And then Eric Andre looks at the camera and he says, movie reviews are coming soon. I don't know, dude.
Starting point is 01:01:13 It was a meme I saw. Hey, hey, hey. Super mega meme. Hey, hey. How'd you get the duck name? Did you guys hear about Eddie Murphy? Yeah. And he was making fun.
Starting point is 01:01:22 He was doing Bill Cosby's voice and talking like, who the fuck is Hannibal Buress? Wasn't this a while ago? This is when he was accepting his award last night. I saw that on Reddit today. I saw him give that same speech and joke like months ago. Is it a routine that he does? I don't know. Are you talking about-
Starting point is 01:01:39 This is the first time I saw it. Are you talking about the one that was posted on Reddit today? This morning. Are you talking about the one that was posted on Reddit today? I've seen him make that exact same speech, making the jokes and where he ends it talking like Bill Cosby and doing the impression. Well, Eddie Murphy and Bill Cosby have always had a beef. So they're not new to roasting each other. Because Bill Cosby kind of had this pompous attitude to other black comedians that, you know, I do family friendly comedy and all of you suck because you use vulgarity.
Starting point is 01:02:08 So then like he was like this like moral high ground for comedians or he acted like he was a moral high ground, but at the same time he was raping women. So it's like, that's why Hannibal Buress made that joke where he's like, like, I don't need to curse in my comedy specials. And Hannibal Buress is like, yeah, but you're still a rapist, dude. So it's like, yeah, but you rape people.
Starting point is 01:02:24 Like I love that. I love what he like, Hannibal Bu you're still a rapist, dude. So it's like, yeah, but you rape people. I love that he's just a minor fan. Hamill Burris, I hope, goes down in history as one of the top dogs of comedians. Oh, shit. That was from a year to two years ago. Eddie Murphy? Yeah, from him doing the Bill Cosby thing. The acceptance speech thing? At the Mark Twain whatever.
Starting point is 01:02:38 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a year ago? That was two years ago. Wow. I thought that just happened. We just saw it on Reddit. Because it popped up on the front page. We're just folk that see the popular
Starting point is 01:02:48 shit. Fake news. Most shit on Reddit is recycled content anyway. Did you see the raccoon thing on Reddit? That was amazing. What's the raccoon thing? The raccoon climbing up the crane. You'll see it. I didn't see it. It's not popular. We should do a Reddit podcast where we just like every episode we just go through what's on Reddit and review it. I'd love that.
Starting point is 01:03:04 Although one time I was actually scrolling through the popular page look you don't see titties often oh you don't see titties on the popular page that on the front page titties on the front page that's unheard of but i saw titties on the popular page okay you know what it was it was like it was shower beer i think yeah and it was just a girl with a beer with her tits out in the shower. Wow. Did she have her tits out? Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah. She did. Her boobs were out. I'll go to shower beer right now. Can you show me this
Starting point is 01:03:33 just for research? Yeah, hold on. Just so I know where not to go, because I know I shouldn't be looking at pornographic images. Actually, I watched a TED talk on how porn harms the brain and it scared the shit out of me. Yeah, I'm sure it does. Porn is really fucking bad for your brain. The guys on Shower Beer, there's no way they're not just there to see the naked women.
Starting point is 01:03:53 And they're posting to get comp because they're like, oh, women do. Is his penis out? No, it's just like guys like this. It's like, obviously, it's like this guy. Dude, should I post on Shower Beer, like with a really awkward face? This dude. I want to see breasts. I'm trying to find the post that got popular when i get home i'm gonna post a shower this that's boobs yeah
Starting point is 01:04:09 that's boobs should i post do i'm post let's post a shower i've never even heard of no one why is this a thing like what's the point of our slash shower beer i don't know just people like fucking guys you'll find me on shower beer so okay we're gonna do i want to see the top posts i'm gonna say of the month i think it was of the month i which one was it i don't know but they do this shit and it's like very obvious like this is like r slash gone wild material it's just it's a sexual subreddit there's no way to deny it yeah it's it's sexual it's and i will be posting myself on there today okay but you won't show your face i'll show my face you just show you okay i'll take i'm not showing my penis okay i'll post what you actually
Starting point is 01:04:49 post yeah i'll post myself on shower beer should we all three just together in a shower we should do that i'll get in the shower today okay and we'll all three i have beer at my place so we can all hold a beer and just well actually we could we could uh do this the day the podcast comes out on friday because i mean so look out guys go on r slash shower beer right now make this the top posted the top rated post of all time on r slash shower beer yeah please go on it'll be on right now you'll go find it okay okay perfect cool i mean the podcast comes out pretty early in the day we're not going over to your place until later saturday but we can we're all gonna be at my place on fr. This comes out next
Starting point is 01:05:26 week. Oh yeah. We're recording ahead, remember? Oh yeah. But we need, let's not upload it until. Yeah, it'll come out the day of the podcast. So go to r slash shower beer and you'll find us. We got to remember this. I want to become like a top post somewhere. Okay guys. Do you remember that, what was that thing
Starting point is 01:05:42 that Connor, was it Connor that sent me that little upvoted Reddit? Do you remember that? What was that thing that Connor, was it Connor that sent me that little upvoted Reddit? Do you remember that? I was showing it to one of you. Jesus, this is another thing I'm not going to be able to remember. One of my friends sent me a snapshot of something that someone upvoted of you two.
Starting point is 01:05:58 On Reddit? It had like 4,000 upvotes. Shit. I'm going to have to go back and look. We were on a popular Reddit post and you didn't it was yeah I showed it to Ryan I feel like you did but I just don't remember it was too far away was it on a meme subreddit
Starting point is 01:06:12 what was it on fuck motherfucker we're not gonna get this back I'm just scrolling through shower beer right now are you getting an erection alright let's read some comments that fans of yours had as questions. Let's see.
Starting point is 01:06:29 Ryan, how many hats do you own? How many hats do I own? Did you ask people to ask questions? Yeah. Where'd you get those from? It's just on your comment section on YouTube. Oh, is it? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:39 Oh, how many hats do I own? I lose them pretty frequently, but the hats that I know I have, I probably have two or three hats. That's it? This doesn't count. A beanie's a hat. Okay, sure. Then let me count beanies because I was going to make that a second category. So I have two beanies and I have probably two to three baseball caps.
Starting point is 01:06:59 So anywhere from five to six. All right, five, six hats. Okay. Nice. All right, cool. Don't wear them that much. I usually just keep. All right, cool. Here's another one. Don't wear them that much. I usually just keep one on for months and then switch to another one.
Starting point is 01:07:09 I honestly feel like my heart's about to erupt out of my chest. Right? That's not a good fucking idea. I feel awful. It's from the two five. I feel like I'm about to be sick. Why did you think it was a good idea, man? I feel like I'm going to vomit all over myself.
Starting point is 01:07:19 It's a horrible idea to have two five-hour renters at the same time. You can die from it. You can get violently ill from caffeine. Yeah, why don't you go ahead and drink another one? I'm going to have a terrible migraine tomorrow unless I drink the same amount of caffeine. You know how hard your heart's just, like, your heart's confused as shit right now. I can't even feel my heartbeat. Hold on.
Starting point is 01:07:35 Why can I not feel my heart beating when I put my hand on my chest? Oh, my God, Matt. Look, you're flatlining. Matt. Yes. Yeah, it's audio waves. This question says... That's not a real question
Starting point is 01:07:46 That's funny, Tucker That's very fucking funny Man He's a jokester He's a little jokester, isn't he? Dude, riddle me this, Tucker You know, you're the riddler, man Riddle you what?
Starting point is 01:08:00 Shut up See, that's how you have to deal with Tucker Just say shut up Shut the fuck See, that's how you have to deal with Tucker. Just say shut up. Shut the fuck up, Tucker. We have to put him in a little cage. Tucker. Someday I'm going to live with Ryan like Lego lives with Ryan. I'm just going to be in a little cage.
Starting point is 01:08:18 I'm going to basically be Lego. Once I kill Lego with the plums, I'm going to become Lego. I'm going to live in that cage. I won't notice a difference. Every morning, I'm not going become Lego. I'm going to live in that cage. I won't notice a difference. I'm going to greet you every morning. I'm not going to... Tucker's about to say... You're going to feel so guilty about killing my dog that you're going to take its place
Starting point is 01:08:31 and live your whole... I'll be a perfect Lego. I'll be a fucking dumbass. Your nails will get too long. You'll have to scratch me. You'll get fleas. I'll burst through the screen door in the back. No, he doesn't.
Starting point is 01:08:41 He lives with me. He has fleas for sure. Oh, I thought you were talking about Lego. No, Lego doesn't have fleas. Not anymore. Tucker has fleas. Not after I shot them all. Oh, I thought you were talking about Lego. No, Lego doesn't have fleas. Not anymore. Tucker has fleas. Not after I shot them all. Aaron and Susie's gun aimed carefully.
Starting point is 01:08:49 You shot them off the dog. Have you seen the video like the Russian dude shooting mosquitoes off his arm with like a pistol? Just like this. What? He's like he's shooting mosquitoes off his arm with a pistol. It's not a good idea. He's washing.
Starting point is 01:08:59 Also, it probably doesn't. It doesn't even work because because in rain mosquitoes don't get hit by rain because the air around the rain pushes the wind. No, it definitely works. It shoots the mosquitoes off his arm. I watched. Did they explode into blood? They're just gone. It's just instantly.
Starting point is 01:09:18 Also, there's that myth or that rumor where if you let a mosquito bite you for several minutes straight and then flex, it'll explode. Is that just a rumor or did people do that? Does that actually happen? I tried once. You gotta try it. I let a mosquito bite me for like four minutes and then it flew away. And I was like, fuck! That was like the most annoying feeling I've ever encountered.
Starting point is 01:09:35 Big waste of time. Leighton Gray. What the fuck? She's Snapchatting me, dude. Fuck! She said, did everyone leave? No, we're still here at the office, Leighton. We're here, Leighton.
Starting point is 01:09:43 Leighton, we're here! We're over here, Leighton! I'm gonna send a Snapchat of Ryan McGee back. Ryan, look at me. It's not even exploding. Look at me, Ryan. I'm watching a video of a mosquito. There she is. Oh, there's Leighton. Leighton, you're on a Snapchat to yourself right now.
Starting point is 01:09:58 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, having a great time. Come on in here. Wait, with special special guest. Come on in here. With special guest. Special guest, Leighton Gray. Co-creator and writer of the game Dream Daddy.
Starting point is 01:10:14 I can't find a video. She's also a moderator of r slash feet. So, believe it or not. R slash feet. Sit the mic, Leighton. Great, so am I here to talk about my moderation on r slash feed? We don't want to talk about that, but... Neither do I.
Starting point is 01:10:29 Yeah, but, I mean, welcome to the podcast. How are you? You're a much nicer guest than Tucker. Don't be mean to your son. It's okay, I agree. He's older than both of us. He can't be our son. Combined.
Starting point is 01:10:40 Tucker, how old are you? 53. He just aged really well. I would have pegged you as like a 67, at least. Thanks. How old are you, Tucker? Tucker, shave the top of your head bald and keep your hair at its length currently. That would be insane.
Starting point is 01:10:55 And then grow out a handlebar mustache. I believe that's called a skullet. You could pull that off. A skullet? Oh, my God. That's great. You got your dome up there, and then you got the long, wavy locks. Makes perfect sense. Tucker, how much money would we have to pay you to do that? A skullet? Oh my god. That's great. You got your dome up there and then you got the long wavy lots.
Starting point is 01:11:05 Tucker, how much money would we have to pay you to do that? Wait, how long would I have to keep it? A week. A week. You guys are going easy on him. I'd say a month. If we gave you $1,000, would you do it? No.
Starting point is 01:11:19 I'd do it for three. Three dollars? Three grand? Three big greens? Three big greens, baby. All right. Matt. Yeah. Just saying, at one point, we'll have to remember this for years down the road where you and
Starting point is 01:11:35 I can easily afford that. Okay. And we can be like, yo, Tucker, here's three grand. The price might go up by then. No, Tucker. No. Are you talking about demand and shit? If we sign a- Don't bring basic economics into this.
Starting point is 01:11:48 If we sign a contract where at any point in the next five years, you offer to give me $3,000- Tucker, I shaved my head for free! He shaved his head for free for a YouTube video. Yeah, I'm not Ryan. Do you guys want me to call- I'm not a fucking idiot. Dude, not cool. My notary. You know I'm fucking stupid, Tucker you guys want me to call? I'm not a fucking idiot. Dude, not cool. You know I'm fucking stupid, Tucker.
Starting point is 01:12:06 What was that, Lee? Do you want me to call my notary? I mean, we could really just like draw this. Yeah, we could get this notarized. I would love that. No, I think I'm going to do it now because you said no. You know, my sister's a notary actually, so she could. You know, I'm a notary.
Starting point is 01:12:20 Are you really? What? Yeah. Since when? Now. Okay. Can you notarize my divorce papers yeah can you notarize
Starting point is 01:12:28 mine too actually can you unnotarize mine because my my ex-wife I want to keep her it's as tough for her as it is for you so I mean I'm not going to step into that it's a little more tough for me she's a nice lady she's done no wrong
Starting point is 01:12:44 besides cheating on you several times With me Ryan with you And once again here we are having the conversation Where you know I don't like you We just got late in here I just feel like it's an awkward situation
Starting point is 01:13:00 The room got really uncomfortable You know it's a little uncomfortable Walking in on who I thought was my best friend sleeping with my wife. Well, obviously she didn't want to be your wife if she was sleeping with me. I mean, you can't just, like, hold someone down and be like, Well, you're married to me. You can only have sex with me.
Starting point is 01:13:15 That's what marriage is. No, it's not. Yes, it is. It's a binding contract to make sure that you both get money when it fails. That's not... Jesus. Matt, you gotta admit, this is kind of... I mean, you were probably at least a little aroused when you walked in. I mean... Well, because he saw his wife naked. Ex-wife. Soon to be.
Starting point is 01:13:32 Ryan is a sweet, sweet boy. To see him deep inside the person you love most in this world, I'm sure it had to be at least a little exciting. You know that same feeling you see when you're watching a porn and you see a butt or boobies jiggle? You're like, whoa, those jiggle. When you see my stomach and like my man tits and just my fucking chins, when you see me just jiggle around, does it give you the same type of like uppity feeling down below?
Starting point is 01:13:58 Yeah, I'd have to actually test that one out. Like, do you have to walk in a fourth time? Why don't you guys go ahead and, Ryan. Sorry. Ryan. Let's test this for science. like do you have to walk in let's go ahead and do it now why don't you guys go ahead and uh Ryan sorry Ryan can we Ryan let's test this
Starting point is 01:14:07 for science well I need his sorry no Ryan let's see it solo jiggle your Ryan we just want you right now alright
Starting point is 01:14:15 let's get let's get a little yeah it's doing a little something for me yeah I'm getting a little semi semi erection
Starting point is 01:14:23 getting a little chub jiggly flesh sack well that Um, I can do that too actually see that say that calf muscle jiggle this feel of calf looks like you could just be like It looks like you're just like you know very edible. It's delicious put that on a taco. Yeah Put humans on a taco human tacos human meat would meat. Would be just kind of like, I guess like a pork taco, essentially. Human tastes like pork. I'm not from personal experience, but that's what I've heard.
Starting point is 01:14:50 A reporter that tasted human said it tasted just like pork. I was about to make a very inappropriate joke. I mean, you've told me about your extensive plans to murder everybody in this office and slowly cook and eat them. Well, I actually did. Layton and I actually did have a conversation about like, if I wanted to kill everybody in this office, how I could get away with it, in what order I'd do it in. Yeah, what was the order?
Starting point is 01:15:10 Top three conversations psychopaths have. Ryan was first. Don't out me here. Ryan was first because Ryan's like my best friend. So it's like, if I kill him, no one's going to suspect it's me because they'd be like, oh, he's grieving right now. I feel like the closer you are to someone. If I kill him, no one's going to suspect it's me because they'd be like, oh, he's grieving right now. I feel like the closer you are to someone.
Starting point is 01:15:24 I just watched a forensic file where like a son. Talk, talk, talk, talk. Okay. I was just testing to see what was going on. I was right. I was right in my predictions though, wasn't I? You did it, yeah. See?
Starting point is 01:15:37 You did it. I used the scientific method. Of Will Tucker, interrupt me. Yeah, I did. You tested your hypothesis. You saw me think about it real quick and then I just said talk talk talk and he did ryan no my my i mean i already won first place at the science fair now so i mean i'm good i'm done right you're like the volcano like the one in hawaii you're the one that won the award but i'm the one that gets to keep it and cherish it and you'll just kind of
Starting point is 01:15:58 be like i don't know don't want any pictures of you ouch damn that's essentially what's going on that's sad you're a photographer, Tucker. What do you expect? I'm not a photographer. Just for the record. I'm not a photographer. I define myself as a painter filmmaker, so please, for the record Painter filmmaker? Yeah, go ahead and
Starting point is 01:16:18 strike. I'm not a painter filmmaker. Yeah, my stupid prestigious title. I'm so artistic. It's very important to my identity that we all keep that exactly how I see it. Can I change my title from Let's Player then? Video game
Starting point is 01:16:33 commentator? I'm video producer. I'm movie producer. I'm online entrepreneur. Online entrepreneur. That sounds good. Tucker, why don't you go paint your feelings, dude? You know what? I just might. Tucker, I have a couple of questions for you. How many pairs of those socks
Starting point is 01:16:49 that have classic paintings on them do you own? I actually own a pair of those, so you just roasted me. The question wasn't to you. We already know that you're an art hoe. We're trying to suss out if Tucker is an art hoe. Do you have one of those little Swedish art school backpacks?
Starting point is 01:17:06 No. I don't. What, a Fjallraven? Or however you say it. Those are cool backpacks, I gotta say, but I can't own one because... Too expensive, I'm broke. Do you smoke yellow American spirits? Nope. Those are gross. I'm sorry. They're way too long.
Starting point is 01:17:21 That's the scientific test. I went to and dropped out of art school, so I am the authority on this. I was around the art scene in Columbia, South Carolina, USC, and it was very much the yellow American spirits scene. I didn't realize that hanging out under bridges in South Carolina counts as
Starting point is 01:17:38 the art scene. Oh, I hung out under bridges all the time. I mean, the burning has to go around. You know what I'm saying? I burn Tucker. Layton burns Matt. Layton burns Tucker. Tucker burns Layton. Layton burns Barnes down in her
Starting point is 01:17:54 spare time for fun. That sounds like fun. The candlestick in the kitchen. That does not hurt any. That's a victimless crime. Yeah, not illegal if you don't get caught. No crime is illegal if you don't get caught. I mean, if it's really run down, nobody's going to miss it. That's true. Except for maybe the raccoons who made their home there.
Starting point is 01:18:09 Maybe we can slow down a bit and maybe like go back to the whole like if you commit a crime, it's like a legitimate thing you should pay attention to and not do. A crime is not illegal unless you get caught. That's definitely not. Ryan, if I commit bank fraud and no one catches me, it's not illegal. It was an illegal act. You just got away with it then it was legal no that's how that works i wish like you like you just get to go into a bank you steal all the money you get out of the bank it's like fuck he got out of the front door it's your money now sir
Starting point is 01:18:37 that's right it's mine legal if you make it out of a bank with the money you can keep it yeah i mean technically the zodiac killer you know he didn't get caught they're they're using they're gonna use the same thing they found to get the i was about to say the green bay packers killer what's the actual guy that got caught the recent one yeah sunshine stereo rapist or the golden state killer golden state killer yeah yeah green bay pack i mean there the Green River Killer. That's a different one. Did he kill the Green Bay Packers? Yes. Killed all of them.
Starting point is 01:19:10 On the field during the game. It was very fucked up. They had a really rough year. He just walked on with a knife and just... Could you imagine if someone banged the NFL? Someone banged the NFL? Banged the NFL. They said banged. Like someone went on the field and had sex with all of them.
Starting point is 01:19:23 I think plenty of people are doing that. That was a normal occurrence. That would make the news. That would be like... That would make the news. That would be like the size of 9-11
Starting point is 01:19:36 times 10. If you bombed American football and everyone was holding a big Coca-Cola during the explosion. And there was slow motion footage of people's horror as they held the product close to their face. Yeah, exactly. They took a sip with the label facing them.
Starting point is 01:19:50 You'd see like Carl's Jr. logos all throughout footage of this. A beautiful woman takes a bite of her Carl's Jr. hamburger in slow motion. This is so sad, but God damn, I could really use a Carl's Jr. burger and a Coca-Cola right now. You know what really rehydrates your thirst
Starting point is 01:20:04 after you've just been crying and screaming all day burger and a Coca-Cola right now. You know what really rehydrates your thirst after you've just been crying and screaming all day? A delicious Coca-Cola. From Carl's Jr. You know it's crispier when you get it from the fountain. That's true. Like a crispy Coke. It's so true. I know what you're talking about when you say crispy. It's a really good way to describe it. It's very crisp.
Starting point is 01:20:20 Not crispy like a piece of toast, but crispy like the drink is crisp. The word crisp has two meanings. A little bit. Like an image can be crisp. Three meanings then. There's crisp as in like toast, crisp as in pictures, and crisp as in like a flavor. Like Tucker looks pretty crisp right now.
Starting point is 01:20:36 Crisp as in chips in England. Who's Crispin Glover? Is that a person? Crispin? No. Oh, St. Crispin? Are you sure? I'm 100% positive there's no way that's a person.
Starting point is 01:20:46 My name is Crispin Glover. I have this thing where I think, like, Crispin Glover. I mean, uh. I gotta cut that out because I actually sent my friend. Crispin Glover is an actor. He's the dude from fucking, uh, Back to the Future. Yes, right. And the weird rat movie.
Starting point is 01:21:02 Yes. I didn't know that he was an actual person. He was in Food Fight. The animated movie with Charlie Sheen where he plays the dog? Can you fact check me on that? Because I'm also an idiot. Don't call yourself an idiot, Leighton. That's not true.
Starting point is 01:21:15 I'll call you an idiot. Okay, now Tucker is roasted Leighton full circle. Crispin Glover. Well, before Ryan finds the answer, I'd like to say please go rate our podcast on iTunes if you feel ever so
Starting point is 01:21:30 inclined. And also go in the link, I mean go in the description for a sweet little link for Honey. Go check that out. And also... I've got a new album on Spotify that you can go find. It's called Damn.
Starting point is 01:21:45 Please just listen to it as much as you'd like. It's getting moderate positive reviews. So, you know, just please enjoy what I put out. He worked really hard on it. When did Food Fight come out? I don't know, Ryan? It was in production hell forever. And then it was finally like sort of released. But it was less of like, you know, letting. It was in production hell forever, and then it was finally, like, sort of released,
Starting point is 01:22:05 but it was less of, like, you know, letting a dove go into the air and more of just, like, a wet shit slapping the pavement. It's really hard to find this movie on IMDb. I can't stop picturing that in my mind. Same. Like, that was a really descriptive way to say that. And now it's, like, stuck in my head. Actually, you know what's better is, like, like you know instead of releasing the dove and it flies away you release the dove and it's already dead and it just hits
Starting point is 01:22:28 the floor okay yeah yeah it just goes holy shit a lot of people were in food fight yeah dude I'm not seeing Crispin Glover though it's a star studded like Hilary Duff Haley Duff Charlie Sheen Eva Longoria Wayne Brady impressive that's a lot of people in food fight Larry
Starting point is 01:22:43 Miller who played... You turned the CRT TV on and scared the shit out of yourself. Sorry, sorry. He played like the principal in some Frankie Muniz movie, I feel like. This dude, I'll show you. Hold on. This dude. Who did he play in like a Frankie Muniz movie or some movie where he played the principal?
Starting point is 01:23:04 He was in Mac in the Middle. Is that the guy? No, no, no, no. I know exactly which one you're talking principal. He was in Mac in the Middle. Is that the guy? No, no, no, no. Exactly which one you're talking about. He's the principal in... Ned's Declassified Survival Guide? No, no, no. It's like the kid is moving away and he gets one last day at school.
Starting point is 01:23:16 Max Keebler's Big Move. There it is. We did it. It only took four... We solved it. That was a fantastic movie. That was a good-ass movie. It was really great. There was the whole food fight scene in it. The end in the junkyard with the tractor. Dude, spoilers. Stop.
Starting point is 01:23:29 Sorry. Man, we were talking about Big Fat Liar earlier. It's just a good time for... Yeah. Frankie Muniz. R.I.P. Anyway, guys, thank you so much for listening to this week's podcast. Go check out Tucker.
Starting point is 01:23:41 His link's in the description. So are Leighton's. Go check out Leighton, who still doesn't follow me on Twitter, but that's none of my business. It's not going to happen. She follows me. She's verified, by the way. So am I. Yeah, I know. So is Tucker. Tucker has like...
Starting point is 01:23:56 Look up. Actually, everybody, go follow Tucker Prescott on Twitter. I'm sure there's some person named Tucker Prescott. He's going to get a bunch of followers. I'm going to look at him right now. I'm not actually on Twitter, but I'm sure there's some person named Tucker Prescott. He's gonna get a bunch of followers. I'm gonna look at him right now. I'm not actually on Twitter but I'm sure there's, I think, alright, alright so in my fucking Google image results, there's this
Starting point is 01:24:14 one kid. He's another like blonde white kid. He's got curly hair instead of straight hair and his name's Tucker Prescott. He's like, you know, this stupid kid that I wish didn't exist because he's taking all the names. He probably took the Tucker Prescott Gmail.
Starting point is 01:24:29 Tucker, what if that picture was from his obituary? Nah, fuck that kid. Tucker, I just met her. That's where we're ending it. Oh, wait. I had one more thing to say. Tucker Prescott? I don't even know where Prescott is.
Starting point is 01:24:45 There's another YouTuber named Matt Watson and I apologize to him. Is there? Yeah. A YouTuber. Not a porn star. He has like 70,000 subscribers. He dated some famous girl. He made Spanish tutorial videos. And if you go to my famous birthdays page, there's a video that famous birthdays made where it's
Starting point is 01:25:01 like millennial ukulele music with a slideshow of photos of me with facts about him. So go on my Famous Birthdays page and check that out. Just Matt Watson. Just Matt Watson. That's the other YouTuber.
Starting point is 01:25:11 So shout out to him. That's my favorite episode of Black Mirror. That's just Matt Watson. What's in my box? Marvel gear and good. That's the video where he shows his penis. Oh. Anyway, guys, we'll see you next week.
Starting point is 01:25:23 Bye, everyone. He's going to help me. Bye. Oh, shit. That's his penis. Yeah, there it is. Anyway guys we'll see you next week Bye everyone Bye bye Oh shit that's his penis Yeah there it is

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.