supermegashow - EP 96 - Covfefe Haha

Episode Date: June 17, 2018

We talk covfefe, covfefe, and Drumpf in our most FUNNY and RELEVANT podcast to date, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer-beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. You know what is the scariest thing I can imagine? Uh, what? Like, and this might be especially scary for you since you're afraid of the ocean. You know what is the scariest thing I can imagine? What? And this might be especially scary for you since you're afraid of the ocean.

Imagine falling off a cruise ship and nobody sees. And the ship just like keeps taking off. Like just the thing is it's one of those moments where think about this. Like you accidentally leave your car in fucking neutral on the driveway. And you see it rolling down. You have that moment of, ah, there's nothing I can do. You're like, fuck. But now think of that except a bigger extent. Now you're just stranded in the ocean.

And that car is just the cruise ship going off. And you know you're going to die. Like, there's no way you're not going to die. You're like, they're not going to find me. This is like, do you know how big the ocean is? Yeah, and, like, I just can't imagine. I can't stay afloat for that long. I can't imagine the panic of, like, watching the ship sail away. And, like, I just can't imagine. I can't stay afloat for that long. I can't imagine the panic of like watching the ship sail away.

And like, you can't swim fast enough to catch up. And you're just like, well, time to die. Yeah, you just gotta let yourself drown, I guess, at that point. That's fucking terrifying. Although there are those stories of like those people that survive like an incredibly long time out in the ocean, stranded. Just swimming? Like treading water? They'll end up getting like on a raft

or something and then they'll start hunting like fish and shit. Do you hunt fish? No, you fish for fish? I guess it depends on how you're doing it. If you're like grabbing them with your hands, I guess that's hunting. I mean, you're still hunting when you're fishing, right? That's just a form of hunting something. Technically it is a form of hunting, I guess.

Well, you're trapping the animal. Hunting by definition. Like, yeah, fishing is a form of... I guess fishing is a form of hunting I guess well you're trapping the animal. Yeah hunting by definition like yeah fishing is a form of I guess fishing is a form of hunting you could definitely say that. Okay. But like oh man I've read a bunch of those stories about people that end up on like a raft for like three weeks out at sea. That is like one of my biggest nightmares. There's people

who have survived like almost a year stranded. How? How the hell? Like the ocean is i'm not equipped oh i'm not either survive we we die real fast if we were stuck on a raft together yeah who's gonna eat the other one first you're not getting any meat off of me though no i'm not but you're gonna be like why did i have to get stranded with this person because when they die and i can eat them they have nothing like i'm a good week i'm a good like two weeks worth of food if you're good you can keep my meat fresh i wouldn't be able to unless we're like stranded in the arctic even then

you're gonna die of hypothermia unless you have a jacket and the the oceans down near antarctica some of the roughest in the world if you get stung by a jellyfish just like like on purpose like i'm like i'm done come here jellyfish or i could eat the jellyfish stay alive longer you could go find a big gathering of the man of war and then just dive on in dive on in that would not be a fun death no but it's like you're dying anyway so you know yeah it'd be is like should i experience one of the most painful things i could think of or i could just drink a bunch of salt water that would do it too that would but that's like a miserable death you hallucinate just like a jelly of salt water. That would do it too. That would, but that's like a miserable death. You hallucinate. Just like a jellyfish, like

man o' war. Guys! Except not as bad as that. This is for the kids. If you want to hallucinate, but you're too scared to do drugs, just drink a lot of salt water. You'll hallucinate. Please don't do that, guys. That is... Yeah, don't. You hallucinate because you're

so close to death from dehydration. Not because you're like, oh, I'm getting high from salt water. Salt's not a good way to hydrate yourself, by the way. Salt is the opposite of hydrating yourself. If you have a sore throat, gargle some salt water. Don't swallow it, though. Yeah. That's a good way to dehydrate yourself more.

And when you're sick, you need that hydration. You do. If you dehydrate yourself while you're sick, you're going to bad dehydration just sucks in general i hate how often i get dehydrated and it's like when you wake up dehydrated it's like fuck such a bad feeling you know yeah i just i usually have to go straight to the fridge and just down a whole cup of water oh same i sleep with a bottle of water by my bed and what i try to do is like 20 minutes before I get out of bed, I'll down it, so then when I wake up, I'm like, oh, now the water has kicked in. But it doesn't always work for me. The water has kicked in, my friend.

I wish I had like Pedialyte on tap at my house, so I could just fucking... Dude, I'm all about that electrolyte. Pedialyte's fucking... It's so fucking good. Anyway, guys, welcome to Super Meg super mega cast this is episode 96 out of 102 because that's where we're ending the podcast um i am matt watson i'm ryan mcgee and this is uh we're super mega doing it doing a podcast message what we approve this message we did approve this message i always like hearing the um like the speech pattern of people who say that like politicians

i'm george bush and i approve this message i'm donald j trump and i approve this message i'm hillary rodden clinton and i approve this message i i would like to uh sound canadian do they do they just have to like go to a studio for a day just to record that one line or do you think it's like yeah just record it with with your iPhone and email it on over? It's probably the iPhone thing because they really sound like either they're in a hurry or they have the same cadence in their voice as when an alien crash lands onto Earth. And they're like, don't we come in peace? That type of shit. I'm Ted Cruz and I approve this message.

It's never the same it's always like uncomfortable and off can we pray oh that video of him with his family at dinner and like he tries to like hold hands and it's awkward and then oh like they start talking over each other's ep oh yeah that's like that that video reminds me of like a group of guys trying to do a podcast together for the first time. That have no chemistry. And they just all talk over each other and then stop and then try to talk and then they all stop. Ted Cruz, like he released that video during his campaign to show that he's like a normal family man.

I could have not have thought of a worse video to release. But who does that? Who goes, I need to prove to the people that I'm a normal person just like them. Someone that's desperate. Someone that's so not normal that they're desperate to prove they are. And then releases it. They're so not normal, they don't realize that's not a normal video to release. By the way, that was a great Ted Cruz impersonation.

Impression. Thank you. That was really good. Thank you. He looks like a, I used to watch the show as a kid. I don't remember what it was called, but it was about like a gnome puppet or something. Naughty? I don't remember.

But like, he looks like that puppet. And I always think Ted Cruz looks like a puppet to me. Ted Cruz looks like if they made a movie out of like, instead of emojis or whatever, they had caricatures, the movie, and like the caricatures like came out of the portraits into real life New York City started walking around Ted Cruz would be one of those Ted Cruz looks like a caricature of what Ted Cruz should look like but just like the caricature version is the one that exists oh man I wonder like if I were to sit down with Ted Cruz if I would ever feel like there was a genuine moment in the conversation on both like I guess I guess my part and his because I can't I can't, you know, put all the fault on him because at the end of the day, I'm talking to Ted Cruz.

You could pray with him. I could pray with him. What do you think he says to God when he prays? Please, please let Donald Trump die so I can become president and then have Mike Pence also die so I can become president. And then have Mike Pence also die so I can become president. God's like, Ted, that's not how it works. Who else needs to die for me to be president? He was the Zodiac Killer. Killed a lot of people.

I had a shirt. You did? What happened to it? I don't know. I can't find it. Dude, my shirts go missing all the time. Like, I have so many shirts where I'll see it in a video and I'm like, what happened in that shirt?

It's probably one of those things where's like you leave it in the trunk or something and they get mixed up with either like trash or it gets like left at someone's house and that person is like this isn't mine and then they give it to goodwill or exactly or they think it's theirs and they're like i don't remember i um i imagine ted cruz praying's just like lord please please don't let me accidentally like porn on twitter again please let me just enjoy it because i'm not getting any from my wife. Please just let me have this. He was – you know, you can't fault a man because like here's the thing.

I've looked at porn on like the Twitterverse before, and I could have very easily accidentally liked or retweeted something. No, here's the thing. I cannot fault Ted Cruz for looking at porn. I just think it's funny because he's Ted Cruz and did that. And I knew before he said it, he was going to... Well, it's his family values, you know, just like family. Yeah, and then he's like, oops, I like this porn star. And what I

think was really funny was that before anything came out, you knew for a fact he was going to blame it on an intern. Oh, yeah. He's like, someone on the Twitter account. It's like, if you're an intern, why would you look at porn on Ted Cruz's Twitter account? Here's the thing. There is somewhat of a possibility it could have been an intern and this is just like one of those things where imagine like ted cruz's life is this just fucked where like everything is working against him where it's

like he hires this intern it's like i'm gonna i'm gonna get up there in the twitterverse and i'm gonna i'm gonna make sure people know that i'm good with the kids and and um i'm gonna learn how to skateboard wait did he do that? No. Oh, damn it. I thought like if that was one of his things to look normal and like in touch with like Generation Z, he learns how to skateboard. He can do like a really good kickflip. But like he hires this like young intern and he's like, I'm going to be good with the kids. And then this young intern is just some some fucking porn addicted man. Like just horny 15 year old.

That's just like going on his Twitter. He doesn't know that he's on because i've accidentally i've been on the super mega account and i thought i was on the my personal account and i've liked stuff that i do that all the time yeah i'm like fuck can i have to unlike it and go back to mine it's probably what the intern did he has like this switch accounts if that if that i it was ted cruz but i think it would be funnier if it was an intern because there's no way he could ever ever make anyone believe it wasn't him just because of who he is and shit. There's no way he could ever be like – even if it was, it's like he probably couldn't even get his wife to believe that.

I don't even know why like he can't like own up to it. Like everyone watches – like most people watch porn. Well, the problem is when your entire platform is like family values and air quotes family values, you can't – No one on the right thinks that family values means that you can't watch porn i think a lot of people because like i well from an evangelical standpoint no they say it but no one no one practices what they preach in that regard oh 100 but you but no one will say it because like i used to be i used to be in church and i used to have conversations with all like the teenagers okay yeah we're talking about a grown man and yeah, whatever. But like, I'd be like, man, porn's a bad thing.

Blah, blah, blah. I'd still watch porn when I was a kid. Same, dude. Because I don't think there's a single teenage guy out there who never watched porn. It's just kind of like what teenage guys do. You know, I'm not excusing porn because I don't think porn necessarily is a good thing.

But I also think like if I have a son, I know for a fact there's no way he's going to not watch porn. You know, if he starts spending more time up in his room that's what teenagers do man it's it's part of growing up hey i'm gonna go up to my room i'll be i'll be back down in a bit dude you know your parents comes back down 10 to 15 minutes you know your parents i was super i had to be super obvious about it because i'd do that i would be like but although i would spend most of my time in my room and just watch TV and play video games. So honestly, it was,

there's this big section. I had this friend who, uh, the first time he ever watched porn, he did it on his PlayStation three and he like pulled it up on the TV in his room. And, uh, it was like,

he said it was like midnight and he did it. And then, uh, he was like really scared. And all of a sudden he heard sirens outside. So he said he unplugged his PlayStation, his TV and turn all the lights off and like jumped in bed and he said his heart was just racing and he could just hear sirens like in the distance they're coming for no he actually

thought that like they were about to like shine a spotlight in his window and be like come outside with your hands up can you imagine that like if you look at porn like the police will come and arrest you that's probably what the like that's that's what Ted Cruz thought. He's like, if anyone's getting arrested, it's my intern, not me. Throw him under the bus. My first personal device that was mine that I got to watch porn on was a PSP. Because before that, you use the family computer and you had to be super careful. Delete cook, delete history.

I remember my mom one time came down the steps and looked at me and goes, Matthew, why is the history on the computer deleted? And I was like, I don't know. If it helps the computer run better. Yeah. My mom never bought that. She's like, go to your room right now. I mean, also, how much of an understanding does your mom actually have of computers? Doesn't matter.

If a mom wants to if my mom wants to accuse me when I'm 15 of looking at porn, she's going to do it. Why do kids get in trouble for looking at porn? Because I get the whole value of like it will skew – okay, like porn is dangerous to a degree of the sense that it can skew someone's idea of what sex is like and also – I think it's a good like tool for discovery it is it is but also at the same time there's people who haven't had sex that porn can definitely skew their brain on like what sex is like and what like uh sex means uh like intimacy and stuff and that and that like porn addiction can actually be very damaging to the brain but everyone looks at a dude everyone's gonna look at it and like i don't know don't know. Like if I was a father

and I caught my kid looking at porn, I'm not going to- Father of five? If I was a daddy of five, I caught one of my kids looking at porn, I'm not going to ground them. I would just have a serious talk about like, this is like,

porn is not good for your brain, but I understand you're at that age, but- I'd rather have my kids looking at porn than having sex at a young age. Oh, totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I feel like a lot of- One is just a bunch of crusty napkins everywhere, or maybe some socks in my case that I had

to sneak into the wash. Your mom's blouse. Hope she doesn't notice. That didn't happen, by the way. That wasn't like a personal thing I was just sharing. I was just making a joke. Just for those who are like, Matt jerked off on his mom's blouse? Well, you know they're going to make you think. I shouldn't have said

that in the first place. That never happened. My mom doesn't even wear blouses. That's what you think. What does that mean? Nothing. It's fine. I mean, sometimes she wants to look good. And you know, I don't mind. I think she looks good in a blouse. Why would you mind? Huh? Why would you mind what my mom wears?

Um... Why would you even make comments about what my mom wears on the podcast after I made a joke? You have good jeans, Matthew. Yeah. Thanks. I don't actually. I got some shitty jeans. Not the ones I'm wearing.

These are good jeans. These are from American Eagle. Wait, are these? Mom and dad are crying. They're like, what? No, my mom. Because you think we made them ugly? No, not looks.

I got perfect jeans when it comes to looks. That's right. My mom and dad. You got piercings and everything now. Dude, I got seven piercings. You look like Nathan Sharp. Do I look like Nate Sharp? Well, I'm going to get smaller ones.

Nathan Sharp. That's his name. Yeah. But I got smaller ones that are coming in the mail today. So these aren't noticeable. I'm not making fun of him like doesn't that sound like kind of like if

Disney Channel were to have a skateboarding character that appears in one episode that the characters are fans of it's like it's it's Nate Sharp he could play him too oh yeah he's it I got drinks with him the other night in Burbank he's a really nice fella he's the nicest dude ever Nate wants to battle for those you don't know I've only talked to him in the

office. He's like the nicest guy. He's also like insanely jacked. That dude is ripped. Oh yeah. I never noticed it until we were out getting drinks and I was like holy shit dude those are some nice muscles. And I sucked his nipples and I massaged his feet. I'm laughing

because you're showing me a video of it. Yeah no there's a couple drinks in it. What, you got a Five Guys? Yeah, we got a couple drinks with the Five Guys. I sucked his toes riding the Five Guys. Sorry, Mom. No, when I told my mom, I got my ears pierced. She was like, it was exactly how I expected her to react.

She goes, oh, okay. Both? Yeah. Okay, let me read you a text message. Okay. Both? Yeah. Okay. Let me read you a text message. Okay. So this is a text conversation I had with my mom after I got small piercings in my ears. So I was like, you know what?

Some people told me they think it looked good. I've been curious about it for a while. So I was like, I'll try it. And if I don't like it, I just take them out and it closes up. So it's like no loss. So my mom texts me after I tell her that. And she says. Verbatim.

Verbatim. Hey, where's my picture? Are you just kidding? And I said, no, haha. And she said, then send me a pic. So see, I sent her this pic. I'm like, yeah, I don't think it looks bad at all. What was the beginning of that conversation?

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She had a winky face? Where's my picture? No, that's only when she texts you. Winky face. And she said then send me a pic. So I sent her a picture and she said, did it hurt? And I said, yeah. Ha ha. And she said, did you do it yourself? And I said, no, I went to a tattoo place for a piercing. Yep. Most places do both. And then she goes, what made you decide to do both ears? And I said, it raises my status in the homosexual community. My mom says, shut up and

stop making fun of me. I'm really asking you you I just don't usually see that many guys that do that So I'm wondering why you decide to do both ears No judgment Hey have you ever seen this TV special I'm watching on Stephen Hawking It's so fascinating It talks about him when he was in college Now he found out about this terrible disease that killed him And she just goes on about Stephen Hawking

He was just a brilliant brilliant man wasn't he I would have loved for your mom to start asking you Do you know who the Fab Five are? I tried telling my mom about Queer Eye. It's a good show. It's a good show. It really is. It's not like mind-blowing. It's just one of those things that you can put on and just have.

It makes me feel real good. It's very like into good self-esteem. It's very like... It's a feel-good show. I enjoy it. If you don't think about like what happens after yeah do you think that the do you think most of the guys they like fix up just go back to their like yeah gross lifestyle yeah actually not the guy from the first episode is getting remarried to that woman that he was after the whole episode and he still looks pretty good i'm not saying

everyone because statistically it doesn't work out for everyone to go back but i'm saying i think a majority probably end up going into their habits again. Because it's like they don't really do anything to help change their habits. They just kind of like – Show them a bunch of new stuff? Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I'd love to see you on Queer Eye, Ryan.

Do I belong on that show? No, but I mean anyone could go. Do I want to get my dad on Queer Eye? I don't know if my dad would like it too much, but that would be a show. My dad falls – they all just fuck my dad. My dad too much, but that would be a show. My dad falls. They all just fuck my dad. My dad hears this. He can be real upset.

Sorry, dad. I won't make any more gay jokes about you. I promise. Wink, wink. I'm still going to make gay jokes about my dad. He's wildly uncomfortable if he's listening right now. I'm not making gay jokes about you, dad. I just think it's funny to picture you.

Never mind. I'm going to leave it there so my dad doesn't get upset and call me and say son don't say those things on the podcast about me i'm i'm i'm not gay and even if i was which i'm not it doesn't matter oh man ah dale gotta love him gotta love dale i love dale love dale man we have barbecues every year, July 26th at 2 a.m. That's a late night barbecue, man. Fuck you. I wasn't coming at you, attacking you. I was just observing.

That's a late night bar. Dude, we should do a cookout at like 3 a.m. And then we should watch The Campaign three times in a row. That movie sucked. Yes, it did. I did not. I watched that with my family in a motel room in the middle of South Carolina. I didn't think it was very funny.

When the trailers came out, I thought it was going to be hilarious. Same. Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis coming from The Hangover. Although you didn't like The Hangover, right? No, I liked The Hangover. Oh, okay. No, Daniel didn't like The Hangover. I thought it was good from what I saw.

I liked it. I saw it with my dad and, you know, seeing a raunchy comedy with my dad, it was like... I don't know how to explain it other than it's the same feeling when you watch like Jackass with your dad. It's like a, just a bonding experience. Yeah, totally. It's like, it's like he gets to experience you laughing and watching this mature. Jokes he couldn't make. Yeah.

But jokes he couldn't make and stuff that, you know, you're just now being able to actually get to watch. Yeah. He's like, oh, my, my little boy's growing up. He can get all these funny jokes about breasts. And, huh, a diarrhea volcano. That scene in Jackass 3. I hated that scene.

That was disgusting. I remember sitting next to my father in theaters. That was awful. At a movie theater restaurant where you could, like, get food. And I remember when that scene happened, I didn't know what was going on at first.

I know. And then it zoomed out, and I was like, oh, it was diarrhea. Part of me guessed. I was like, that can't be. I thought it was puke. There's no And then it zoomed out and I was like, oh, it was diarrhea. Part of me guessed. I was like, that can't be. I thought it was puke. There's no way. And then I realized,

I was like, holy shit. One of the worst ones that gets me to gag is when like, Steve-O puts on the fart helmet and Preston is farting into the funnel.

And he pukes. No, then he, yeah, he pukes, but Preston accidentally shits a little in the tube. That one's gross. So all that smell

is just going into Steve-O. That's in Jackass 2, I think, and that's fucking gross, man. That is. The way he pukes in the astronaut helmet. Action points out. Is it? Yeah. Oh.

Dude, speaking of current events and things that are happening right now, this isn't going to come out for a week, but actually we're in Japan when this comes out. Ooh. However. Bing bong. Very sad news to say that Anthony Bourdain died. Why'd you say bing bong? That's the music there.

That's Japanese music? Yeah. What I was saying was very sad news that Anthony Bourdain passed away this morning. I loved his show, man. I loved Anthony Bourdain. That's super devastating he

was such like a such a kind heart yeah guys if you if you need some help go get some help there's nothing wrong with it because anthony bourdain shows that you can have tons of money tons of fame have all these crazy travel experiences but at the end of the day depression sucks no matter what don't look to success to quiet the depression. Yeah. How about that? Everyone's got their own story, their own journeys. Go get some help if you need it.

Nothing wrong with it. It's all super important, and vacation and success is nothing that'll fix it. And vacation's all I ever wanted. Vacation's all I ever wanted. Vacation's in the Rugrats movie. What? That song was in the Rugrats movie what uh that song was in the rugrats movie that's which one the french one yeah the yeah the french one because the the rugrats movie no there's not a french rugrats movie they go to france yes um and that's the one that predicted 9 11 twice 9 11 a lot of people think that actually that scene actually predicted 9-11. It's like, no, the joke is that he's a kid and can't count.

So he says 9, skips 10, says 11. Two very common numbers in the first 11 numbers of the number. The alphabet is for letters. Is there a word for the group of numbers? Numbers. They're called numbers. Oh, no, numbers and letters, you're right. See, because there's the alphabet.

How many letters in the alphabet alphabet how many letters in the alphabet and how many numbers in the numeric alphabet in the numeric I'm just gonna call it

the numeric alphabet sure yeah sounds good but the Rugrats movie the original one I had it and it was on an

orange VHS the one that wasn't the French one no it's the one that gets lost in the woods it's the one with the monkeys go ooh eee

ooh ah ah, ah, ting, tang, wah, wah, wah, bang, bang. And then Tommy is like gonna pour a banana. Kill his brother with bananas. Yeah. That shit was intense. That scene was like, whoa.

Tommy's like holding his little baby brother down during a rainstorm and he's gonna pour bananas. What, was he gonna like choke him with it? Like pour it into his mouth or his eyes?

He was just gonna pour it on him as like a spiteful thing. Was this this like is that like referencing some famous scene or something or is that just like real fucking intense i don't know it just has the same feeling as like when someone has a gun pointed at someone it's like and they can't bring themselves to do Rob Dyrdek? That's me, bro! That's, uh... I have a new show coming out. That seems like that's... I have a new show coming out.

All right, Rob. That's like that's... I have a new show coming out soon. It's gonna be great. Okay. What, your Tosh.0 ripoff show? What? Or you got another one you're ripping off from somebody, Rob?

What? Well, I can't even say that, because Tosh.0 ripped one you're ripping off from somebody, Rob? What? Well, I can't even say that because Tosh.0 ripped off the soup, so. Yeah, see? Anyways, we're going to fart a lot and it's going to be great. And we're going to skateboard in my fantasy factory. And sometimes we're going to fart while skateboarding. Uh-oh, sumo wrestling suits. Anyways, I'm going to go now.

Are we the only podcast that just like rips into rob deardek i mean it's only been like twice i'm not counting the let's play you said podcast yeah oh yeah we did in the let's play i was like i forgot what i saw i saw some clip by these guys that do a podcast i won't say which one but they were talking about brandon wardell and they're saying that brandon wardell is just gonna Rob Dyrdek when he's older. That made me laugh real hard. I got a good laugh from that. I like Brandon Wardell. I think Brandon Wardell's funny. He's a funny goofster.

I'd call him that. Does he gaff around? He gaffs around, yeah. He shoots a goof here and there. Pretty funny dude. But what I was saying about the Rugrats movie was I remember there's a commercial on it where, like, basically, it's foruts, like Charlie Brown. Yep, I remember this. Did I show this to you?

No, we talked about this before. Did we, where the guy says Peanuts videos instead of Peanuts videos? Oh, yeah. And then I went and tried to Google the video to find it. I actually ruined my VHS because I replayed it so many times. They changed it. Yeah, and they reshot the guy saying Peanuts more clearly. It's like a different shot where he's like, Peanuts peanuts videos dude, and you could see on that guys that guy's face

He's like I know what I'm doing. Yeah, you want to talk about penis videos. I'll put the clip in it's right here Listen guys listen to this. This is he straight up says penis videos. You want to talk about penis videos? Yeah, that's it That's a straight-up said penis videos. It was for Peanuts? No, it's for peanuts like Charlie Brown. That's why it's even funnier because it's like a fucking kids thing. You want to talk about penis videos? I hate how that's a Christmas song. Because it's not a Christmas song, but they always play it on the radio at Christmas. And it's like, it's just the Charlie Brown theme.

Charlie Brown has two songs. It's that one and then the depressing one. Christmas time! It's very somber. That's one of my favorite Christmas songs. But at the same time another song they play that's not a Christmas song is the song from Sound of Music.

Brown paper package is tied up with string. These are a few of my favorite things. Chim chimery chim chimery zick dick dick boop. Those are the lyrics. Zick dick dick boop. Oh man, that movie was filmed in

Austria? Yeah! Ow! Why'd you throw a pin at me? Oh, because it's time to do an ad read. Yep. The day of my father is just around the corner, and I need to get him a gift, because I don't really care about my dad that much, but I need to do something to show him I care. And what, what, what, what more of a perfect gift could my, could my daddy want than some nice steaks, some nice meat? You know, I don't, I, my, my dad loves to grill, but he hates the hassle and poor quality of the grocery store steaks.

So I should let him kick off the grilling season by gifting him an Omaha steaks father's day package. You know, I whip out my charcoal grill and you whip out your propane grill. We go side to side and we grill it up whenever we get ourselves some Omaha Steaks. Yeah, they sent us some in a nice little styrofoam cooler. Very finely packaged. Oh, yes. Busted those bad boys out, threw them on the grill. Oh, yes.

Magnifico. Yes. Omaha Steaks delivers hand-trimmed, flash-frozen, and vacuum-sealed meats directly to your door in an Omaha Steaks cooler. But did you know there's variety? Like, what kind of variety, you know? Like, maybe pork, poultry, veal, lamb, bison, seafood, and vegetables? That's quality.

Yeah, all the highest quality cuts with one-of-a-kind flavor. All beef is USDA-inspected for quality and aged for 21 days to unlock the full flavor and tenderness of the cuts. You hear that, gamers? That's an achievement. You unlock the full flavor and tenderness of the cuts. You hear that, gamers? That's an achievement. You unlock the full flavor and tenderness of the cuts. And you know something else gamers love? Customization. Omaha Steaks even gives you the option to customize cuts for your daddy's grilling needs.

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That's crazy, dude. So remember, it's $49.99 when you go to omahasteaks.com. Type Super Mega in the search bar and add Father's Day package to your cart. Don't wait. This offer ends soon. Going away soon. I didn't mean to interrupt you, man. I was reiterating the deal's going away soon. Go to omahasteaks.com, type SuperMega in the search bar, grab your dad, buy his jeans, and fire up the grill. Buy his jeans from him or for him?

Front of the jeans. Oh, grab his jeans. Like, grab him, buy the jeans, and pull him to this deal. Because you're the one buying the deal for him. That's right, guys. So grab your daddy, buy the jeans. Omaha Steaks. Oh, man, Ryan.

You ever like playing with your bellend? Anyways, sorry. Go over, you say? I think we could do a real uh cookout or should i say a bakeout because we're gonna get a nice cut of meat like a steak put some thc butter on it cook it up and call it high stakes dude yeah right dude oh that's sweet oh man stop don't kick pillows in my microphone weed is so funny to me why it's great

no I mean like weed culture is funny to me oh I'm not into weed culture I just see now when I weed culture ruined talking about marijuana it did you know just like it's hard to talk about like craft beer without sounding like a pretentious hipster same thing

why like why did marijuana get that stigma and why did like craft Just like it's hard to talk about craft beer without sounding like a pretentious hipster. Same thing. Why? Why did marijuana get that stigma? And why did craft beer get that stigma? I don't know. I mean, I'm a- They're both nice things. I'm a very regular smoker of the marijuana. You hear that, Omaha Steaks?

Nah, just kidding. I love how we transitioned from an ad read straight to some marijuana. Because you know what makes food taste better? Marijuana. Steak sauce, Matt. No, I was making a joke because marijuana does not make food taste better. I was also making a joke.

Steak sauce does not make the steak better. Really? You don't like steak sauce? I do like it. I just think that if you, okay, Matt, tell me if you go over to someone's house, they plop a steak down,

they put some steak sauce next to you, what's your next move? I'm going to tell you if you're making the right move. I will taste the steak first, but I will still put steak sauce on it for the next bite. Because it's like, all right, I'll appreciate the flavor of the meat before I change it up with the steak sauce.

No matter how good the steak is, I still like putting steak sauce on it. You gotta at least take a first bite and eat it and be like, that's a good steak. And then you pour steak sauce. Don't put it on the steak. That'll get people mad. You gotta put it on the side.

So when you're dipping it, it's not that big of a deal. But I feel like it's manners to not just douse it in steak sauce the moment they slap it on your plate. But if it's like... But I feel like it's manners to not just douse it in steak sauce the moment they slap it on your plate. But if it's like a steak from like a $4 steak from the grocery store and I already know what the quality is like, I'll just go straight for the steak sauce. What $4 steak are you buying, Matt? Probably ones I shouldn't be buying.

Are they green? They have been. I bought steak once and it was bad, so I didn't even get to eat it. I remember one time I bought salsa and I started eating that bad boy with some chips. It expired four years ago. It was still good, but the expiration date was four years ago. You know, you know, how did that stay on the shelves? I have no idea, but you know what my favorite thing was back in middle school and high school and elementary school, getting those little cartons of milk and then just trusting it because you know, day after day you get that good milk. You're

like, Hmm, this is some, this is some decent milk. Then you have day after day you get that good milk you're like hmm this is some decent milk then you have that one day where chunks just start sliding down your throat the cafeteria workers don't give a shit about that I had some bad cafeteria workers like they were just like I remember oh my god there was this guy named Kevin not Kevin Abernathy or Spacey yeah

or Kevin Spacey he was not allowed to work in my school he worked at the school down the street there was this guy named Kevin and he was like seven feet tall. Nine ounces. The closest thing I could equate him to was Welvin. What? Yeah, and I remember he... Because Welvin's the type of guy to go to a Taco Bell bar in Las Vegas.

And sit there with a tube of chapstick on the... He did. Because someone Ryan knows met him and took a picture with him. And he was sitting at tube of chapstick on the... Someone Ryan knows met him and took a picture with him. And he was sitting at a Taco Bell bar by himself with a big tube of chapstick just sitting out on the table. He was charging his phone. Anyway, Kevin would...

I remember I saw him bike into school sometimes. He rode like a kid's bike and he... It was like way too small for him. It was like 7 feet. And he had like a race car jacket that had scarface on the back and um i remember one time my friend went in the bathroom was it leather man no it wasn't leather damn it it should have been i wish it was but it had scarface on the back and my friend went into the bathroom and kevin was standing by the urinal and there was like there was like fresh cum in the urinal in the cafeteria bathroom and he looks at him

looks my friend goes man splooge and then he walked out and like that will always stick with me that he did that and then um he oh dude he was blazed out of his mind every single day good like he would just come i mean if you were like that job had to suck like i don't blame him but like yeah he what did he'd always give girls free cookies that was kind of weird but hey kevin wherever you are now hope you're doing well, man. Well, in the South, it's called being a gentleman, Matt. I wasn't trying to dig on Kevin. Okay.

You know, you got those Southern Bells that are looking for a good Southern Boo. Kevin was the definition of a southern beau. Driving around in his truck with those metal balls hanging down with a rebel flag. We all got a little rebel in us. Hey, Ryan, we're from South Carolina, man. Your shirt says South Carolina. It does. We all got a little rebel blood in us.

Actually, my blood was from the north, but my dad's side, that's from the south. I was related to Ulysses S. Grant, the guy who was, like, the union in the Civil War. He was a shitty president, though, apparently. But, Matt, I love that flag. You know, it just reminds me that I got a little rebel in me. And we got a little rebel in all of us, especially the ladies. Hey, I have a little rebel in me.

I'm proud of my ancestors who fought to own humans. I'm gonna go to my small town, I'm gonna hoist my rebel flag high on my big old truck, and then I'm gonna have a Mason Dixon burger. I'm gonna really stick it to the libs by flying my rebel flag in a

town that's literally only other people that fly rebel flags. Got him. What'd you do to own the lips today? I shit my pants. I shit my pants to own the lips today. What'd you do? What did I do?

What if like every day I called and at the end of the day checking like, Ryan, what'd you do to own the lips today? Nothing? Dude, I clogged a toilet in Google Incorporated's office. Dude, I ordered a Papa John's pizza. That's the name of the a in Google Incorporated's office dude I ordered a Papa John's pizza that's the name of the Google Incorporated office dude I shit in the Google

and the Google headquarters pool cause how dare they I um bastards I you know what I did to own the libs today what uh

I dude that shit's cringy but what's also really cringy to me is like what did you do some of the people that are like they'll like send they'll like tweet at trump and be like i really just stuck it to drumph take that drumph so funny to me drumph and like cofefe like oh man dude i gotta go get myself a cup of cofeete to own Drumpf. Well, I think here's the thing, Matt. You and I work in this, you know, internet entertainment business. So all of that shit is just old and just like gets in our brains. But imagine like us living back in South Carolina.

Like I look at Facebook and when people do this shit and like I feel like a lot of the people don't have that social interaction with that many people. And it's mostly like online and they don't get that. They don't make, they don't do memeing that much, you know, they don't, they don't do that as much. And,

um, they use that as the opportunity to do it. Cause then it's like a big collective. It was like, everyone knows what I'm talking about. Cafe face. Wasn't that weird when he said that? You're all goofy.

You're turned it. You're tuned in to KafefeCast. That's the name of this episode. KafefeCast? Is that cool with you? Legitimately, no. It's actually not. How about Drumpf's KafefeCast?

No. This episode is Super Nightcast episode 96, Drumpf's KafefeCast. We just own Drumpf. Take that, Drumpf. Who? Was that, was Drumpf take that Drumpf who was that was Drumpf was that from like

a Stephen Colbert thing no that was his when his family came to America their last name was Drumpf and they changed it was changed to Trump

oh so that's how people call him Drumpf which I don't get didn't Colbert try to start something like

all these talk show hosts? Yeah, well, I think the whole joke was like Trump sounds goofy, but so does Trump. Like Trump's a goofy last name. Well, Trump, you know, it's a very aggressive last name. Yeah, and it's going to be one of the names remembered in history. So take that, Libs. Yeah, I mean, he's going to go down as a president.

Yeah, no matter what, he's going to go down as a president. Yeah, no matter what. He's going to go down as a... He's going to be in the... His tweets are going to be in history books. We've talked about this before. And whenever we mention it, it blows my mind. It's still just shocking. They're going to have screen caps of his tweets.

Dude, you think Covfefe is going to be in the history books? With the likes and retweet numbers and shit. Covfefe, you think it's going to be in there? There's going to be a whole chapter in the history books called Covfefe. When Trump owned the libs. I think that'll be kind of like a. Okay, how about this? What do you think will be one of those things where it's like George Washington had wooden

teeth? But what do you think is going to be that of Trump where it's like it's not true, but like people will just believe it. Is the small hands thing true? No, I feel like people will just say like, yeah, he wore. Yeah, he's the president that wore a wig like 100 years from now. People will just be like he wore a wig, even though it's a toupee, I think. Well, OK, here's the thing.

Is it a hairpiece? He was known before being president. He was known for being orange and having a toupee, obviously. But he's shown on TV that it's real hair. Or maybe hair plugs or something. Oh, yeah. Jimmy Fallon goofed it up. He did not like that.

You could see on his face. But I saw a picture of the wind blowing. He let him. He let him, though. Before everything's done and gone, can I please, can I please, please mess with your hair? Is that Jimmy Fallon? Dude, I'd love to go on Jimmy Fallon and laugh with him. Dude, we could play the seven second challenge with Jimmy Fallon. Dude, I'd love to go on Jimmy Fallon and laugh with him. Dude, we could play

the seven second challenge with Jimmy Fallon. Have you seen the video of Jimmy Fallon back in the 90s like showing up to like a college party? No. It's just some video

on YouTube where it's like, oh shit, Jimmy Fallon. What's up, man? He's like, hey. Some like New York like house party. It's just Jimmy Fallon showing up.

But it's like before he was big. God, I saw this tweet where like, you see Jimmy Fallon like crashed the Parkland graduation? Why would he do that? He did that and someone tweeted and was like, having these kids already been through enough. I was like, oh God, Jimmy Fallon, man. I don't dislike Jimmy Fallon. No.

But I see why people say he seems fake for sure. Of course he's fake. Every talk show host is fake. That's the name of the game. That's the thing, though. It's like I don't dislike him for that because it's like, oh, it's all talk show hosts. Stephen Colbert is fake. He's fake.

Jimmy Kimmel. Everyone puts on a persona in some way. They're literally a talk show personality. That's the business. They're not going to be them. They're going to be fake. Even like news reporters are fake. Like, do you think they speak like that in real life with those like more at seven?

Like, no, either like it's fake or it's like amped up. Right. Yeah. And I, and I don't like, who cares if a talk show host is like doing some sort of character and not being 100% genuine all the time? Because that wouldn't make the show fun. I just personally don't find them funny. Yeah.

So I just don't watch – I don't watch any late night shit, honestly. You know what it might be? It also might be the people – we're coming out of an era where talk show hosts were like David Letterman and stuff, who seemed very genuine. He didn't seem very fake. David Letterman was, very like classic, real. But you're always putting on a show. That's the thing. You're never actually just having a conversation with someone.

Yeah. Is what I'm getting at. It's for the cameras. Yeah. Everything is for the cameras. No matter like if it's somewhat genuine or not, your questions and everything is staged to get the ratings. Yeah.

We saw Jimmy Kimmel live. We did. He seemed a little tipsy in real life. Yeah. I think he drinks before the show. We saw Jimmy Kimmel live. We did. He seemed a little tipsy in real life. Yeah, I think he drinks before the show. I imagine so. I'd have to. Oh, me too. It'd kill those nerves. But now Jimmy Kimmel's gotten big because of the... I mean, Trump's

honestly helped a lot of people out in terms of, I have to say, ratings and stuff. Because without Trump, I don't think you'd get as many clicks on youtube these videos such a hot topic yeah and he's doing a campaign for a hot topic right i mean look at this you know i'm honestly like from the bottom of my heart i am sick and tired of hearing it every day and but we're only contributing but look at us we're still talking about it dude just

say it covfefe we're still talking about him look at that no matter how sick you are of him people are gonna be talking about donald trump he's always a subject to talk about and you just so fascinating i'm so and like i want to apologize to people who just don't want to listen to trump talk yeah don't want to hear his fucking name because like i'm one of the like when i when i go home i just turn off i don't follow any of that shit i try not to um but just uh don't worry we'll talk about something else real soon like uh um wait wait i respect that too like that you don't tune into that that's totally fine yeah i i personally like i love following politics and that shit but dude i totally get tuning that out 100 i have to tune it out after the election and it's not just that whole like oh trump won like like

basically i knew how trump ran his campaign was not going to change when he got into the presidency and i just knew that the headlines would be everyday trump there would be something everyday trump and you're just tired of it it i right then it just sunk in it's just like oh this is just going to be miserable because everyone's going to want to make fun of them and everyone everyone's gonna want to get a rise out of people people are want to get likes off of bashing them people are gonna he's gonna just do some crazy goofy shit to get in the news that actually has no repercussions like politically or internationally with our like with what's going on in politics and it's like i don't feel like sifting through the bullshit to get to the real political stuff the real political stuff.

The real meat. Yeah. Because at the end of the day, like a lot of it is just kind of like a circus. Sensationalism. Yeah. But that's his game. That's his game. And he wants to be in the headlines for crazy shit.

And that game won, which, you know, of course it would here. I mean, this is America is the birthplace for stories like that. Like sensationalist media yeah and i mean i when he won i was surprised just because it was it was a weird time in pol like it was weird seeing politics go to that extreme yeah um that whole election was wild yeah but but we'll see man yeah we'll stop talking about drumpf uh one thing i wanted to talk about a few minutes ago was um news anchors like do those people become news anchors because they naturally can do such a nice voice like that or do they learn it because they want to be a news anchor because like you know the news anchor voice when you hear it it's so specific and it's like

that's a talent some people have i well i think news anchors go into it in the journalism field first off. I don't think it's like anyone gets into it because of the voice. But people who do have that natural inclination to sound good over mic go right – like it used to be radio. I don't know what they could do now. But like radio is huge. No, I know that. But I'm saying like just off of the voice, like when it's like, oh, that dude had the voice. Like people would get onto like the – I'm thinking like a decade or two ago when you would go onto the radio and you'd hear like, you're listening to 91.5.

Oh, yeah. Like that type of shit. They still got – there's some soul station in LA. And every time I listen to it, the dude's voice is like orgasmic. I'm like, holy shit, that's a nice voice. N npr like everyone in npr almost has a wonderful voice larry mantle not everyone larry mantle has the most soothing no no but a lot of the people i'm larry mantle or or latch latch me sing from uh pri latch me she's like i'm latch me sing i'm like yeah all right all right latch me every time she'd come on my dad would do this

funny joke where he'd go he'd be like Latch Me Latch Me Sing cause the joke is that he's saying Watch Me Sing

while he's singing cause her name sounds like Watch Me Sing now what if her name was Latch Me Whip Latch Me Nay Nay it'd be ridiculous that would be

pretty crazy man what um so what who was I talking about what's his name Larry Mantle That would be pretty crazy, man. So, what? Who was I talking about? What's his name? Larry Mantle.

Today we're going to talk about. I hear his voice almost every morning. Who's the guy that does the book show on NPR? You know who I'm talking about? I know who you're talking about. That's like a straight up ASMR voice. It's like this old guy. And it's called Bookworm or something. The show on NPR.

And his voice is so relaxing. It's great. And every time I turn it on, it's like just ending guy and it's called bookworm or something the show on it on uh npr and his voice is so relaxing it's great and every time i turn it on it's like just ended i'm like no you know what i actually like i still listen to it but i i can't stand the dynamic on npr it's the movie review segments that they do i didn't even know they did that yeah they'll talk about now this movie is it was it was really good and the actors just had good chemistry and then the other person will be like see i didn't think that at all it's just like well then i'm not really i don't know you're not you're not two personalities that i honestly know like yet and trust so it just just it leaves me confused after listening to them talk about a movie because it's always like. I liked it.

It was all right, I guess. They always sound so smug, too. And like the ladies, like, I really thought the storytelling was was moving. Then the guy will be like, oh, that's interesting. I found the story to be pretty simple. You know, not too hard to follow. Nothing really special. And like in my head i'm like dude calm down well if they're not if they're not very good it's like they probably know what they're talking

about they have their own opinions but like both of them reviewing the movie and them not being kind of like personalities that i'm fully like aware of and in tune with yet it just i don't know who to listen to about the movie because I don't know the trust you know like on YouTube you have a personality that you trust about movies or you have a friend that you trust that are

Doug Walker movies yeah dude if we could do the movie review series like with boss baby yet Doug Walker yeah but he still he still has some videos coming out right because because oh yeah he still

has because I'm like backlog but he's not doing that nostalgia critic anymore is he not I think I feel like all that's blown over though I thought he killed it and the videos coming out are um he shot the nostalgia critic in the head like doug walker came in and killed the nostalgia critic dude imagine doug walker on npr like doing the the movie review show yeah i didn't do it well my voice is a little

hoarse today. Shaking his fists, but no one can see it because he's behind the mic and not in front of the camera. You know what? You're in front of the camera, but you're behind the mic. No one says in front of the mic. That's fucking wild, isn't it? Do they not? You say you're behind the mic.

Even if it's a boom mic on a studio set it's just the saying you're behind the mic oh I don't know pissing me off here Ryan I'm sorry also thanks everyone for the positive reaction to our new show drunk drawing you're thanking people they should be thanking us for these great deals

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and get yourself that deal. Remember, to get 20% off your first pair, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee, go to MeUndies.com slash SuperMega. go to MeUndies.com slash SuperMega. That's MeUndies.com slash SuperMega. Dude, can I tell you about a weird dream I had? Sure. I don't think I told you about this one.

I had a dream that I was watching Ed, Edd, and Eddy. Did I tell you this? No. I had a dream where it was Ed, Edd, and Eddy. Like, this was, like, on TV. And, uh, everyone in the neighborhood raped Ed. What? Like, and it was a, Edd n Eddy. Like, this was, like, on TV. And everyone in the neighborhood raped Ed. What?

Like, and it was a scene in the show. Like, they all raped him at the same time. This is bullshit. No, I'm 100% serious. And I was freaking out. I was like, this is on TV? But it was like,

the rape was like, you know in a cartoon when a bunch of people fight and it's like a cloud of smoke with, like, a bunch of, like, lightning bolts. How'd you know it was a rape? Because it was like, that was, that with the context of the episode.

Oh, okay. And in the dream, you just know? You knew, yeah. So they were all raping short Ed. And that was legitimately my dream. Double D was involved in shit? They were all involved. It was like a gangbang of Ed.

How about Jimmy? Yeah. Jimmy was involved? Specifically, I remember him. Plank? Because it was like a cloud and their heads would pop up one by one. And every now and then Ed would pop up and like yell. Like that was my dream.

It was so, and I woke up and I was like, what the hell? That's so weird. You know what that means? Go to a palm reader and see what they say about that. It's like people come in like, I had a dream where I found a bag of gold. And then I'm like, I had this dream where Ed from Ed, Edd n Eddy was being raped by everyone in the neighborhood. Oh, uh. That person's like the sister of like an executive of Cartoon Network.

I got it. This is how we're doing it. They have to produce it and put it on air. 13 Reasons Why is getting popular. Imagine, dude. Cartoon Network airs that. Like that would go down in the history books right but no one wants to make history and everyone wants to play it so safe i want to play it so safe with this pc culture come on let's see let's see it cartoon network let's see if you have the

balls to do this one well i didn't know if the stream was like too much for the podcast but i wanted to share it because it that was my dream my dream it's also because I'm on a medication that makes me have crazy weird ass dreams so that's one of them I mean I told you about you know your scary dream yeah I didn't go into full detail about my dream tell me about it

basically it's this resort island place where there it was I remember it took place in Japan, but it wasn't inherently Japanese. It was just – that's where it was. It was just an island, and it was this resort-type place, except the resort was like, we're going to make the resort seem like genuine Bangkok. I have no idea what type of – this is the best way I can explain the dream to you. Okay.

So that's the location. Bangkok? Yeah, and so I was leaving like a dinner party and so i get lost and i end up in the shanty part of the resort and i'm like where am i going and then i get to this dead end with only like a sewer tube and i look back and all of a sudden there's a wall blocking my way i'm like the only way forward is going through the sewer tube so i start crawling through the sewer tube thing all sudden cacti start growing within it and i'm like oh and they start like stabbing me and getting into me and like it was awful yeah and so i finally got out of there and i look up and all of a sudden all there's this fence and beyond the fence are all

these kids in this boot camp and like they're just running on these obstacles. All of a sudden, you hear, hey! And this dude starts coming up. He's like, what are you doing? I'm like, oh, oh, I'm just trying to get back to the resort. He's like, what are you doing here? And he pulls out a gun and points it at me. What?

Yeah, and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's like, what are you doing here? I'm like, I'm just trying to get back. And then he interrupts me by shooting me in my leg. Whoa. And I'm like, I'm just trying to get back. And then he interrupts me by shooting me in my leg. Whoa. I'm like, whoa. And I start running away.

And then I end up to this place where it's like this pond with these wood planks that are sticking out of it. So I jump onto one of the planks and I'm starting to crawl around. And I remember in the dream, I'm like, boy, it would be bad if there were piranhas in here. Then I looked down and then,

yeah. And then there are piranhas in there. They start jumping up and trying to snap me and I'm like and I'm just like freaking the fuck out in my dream because I can't get you a break Jesus Christ and then afterwards I end up like jumping onto land

and running back and throwing the cacti off and getting back to the resort and so I'm in the resort and everything's good and all of a sudden I get a call from one of my friends that's just like hey is everything okay i'm like yeah i just all of a sudden hard knock on my door i'm like what's going on all of a sudden a big i hear a big crash and like this robot sound what and then this robot this robot that like can't see me it has like a sensor that

scans the room every now and then to sense movement and shit. It just starts coming in and starts patrolling the area. And like it, like some, like a vase drops and like the scan senses it. And all of a sudden like it launches a cannonball out of itself and like blast a hole through the wall. I'm like, Oh no. And then I like go hide it.

I go hide in a corner and the robot like comes to creepily like come into the room and start scanning. And I'm just like, then my friend starts calling me. Oh no. And then the robot starts to slowlyily come into the room and starts scanning it. And I'm just like, then my friend starts calling me. Oh, no. And then the robot starts to slowly turn my way. Oh, shit. I wake up. Dude, you could not catch a break in that dream.

I know. It was like one thing after the other. That sounds like a no fun vacation. It was when I was on vacation at the beach. I had a dream recently. I've been having some nightmares just out of the blue. And I had a nightmare where i was at my dad's house and i went to go lock the back door because i was going to bed and it's like a glass door and i look out on the back porch and there was like a gray alien

like dude that scared that would scare me it's just but it's just standing there and it's kind of hiding behind like a plant but it sees me and we make eye contact and i crack open the door to like make sure i'm seeing it right because i know my glasses and i get a little closer and i was like no go away go go and and and it's just looking at me and blinking and i'm freaking the fuck out because dude if you just saw a great does it look menacing or does it just look like it just looks like a traditional gray alien like but like in the dream did you get a menacing vibe from it okay because i was scared my i was fucking scared shitless because it's an alien yeah and i'm like go and it slowly climbs down the back of the porch while making eye contact with me into the darkness and it disappears

so i run to the front of the house and i lock the door and i lock the garage door and i'm like dad dad and he's not home and i'm like oh shit and the power starts flickering and i'm freaking out and then i woke up but i was dreaming, but I didn't know that. I thought I had woken up. And I'm in my apartment and I'm laying in bed and it's just, I can hear just this droning, just like, like very ambient, creepy, horror movie drone sound. And my whole apartment is lit with this like dim red light. Your apartment's lit?

It was lit, dude. No, but the lighting in my apartment was this dim reddish brown light. Like very dark. And I can barely see. And it's just this reddish brown light. And then also my vision starts pulsing. Like a heartbeat in my eyes. Like boom.

Boom. Boom. And I was like. And then I hear this woman's voice in my apartment. Like from the other room. Just go like. What? What?

What? What? I hear this woman's voice in my apartment like from the other room just go like whoa whoa Whoa, and the whole time my visions like throbbing and I start hallucinating And I was like what the fuck is going on and I start freaking out and then I woke up for real That was my nightmare. I woke up drenched in sweat. He was terrified. Oh shit I can't even explain that dream, but it was scary as shit like ever since i was a kid one of my oh jesus christ no no wait no man oh fuck what the fuck