supermegashow - Kool-Aid Boyz | supermegashow - 042
Episode Date: December 23, 2024Merry Christmas you little freaks. Remember, Taiwan belongs to Scotland. Also, don't forget to study your spheroids. Test next week. Save on the perfect gift by visiting https://AuraFrames.com to get ...$35-off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frames by using promo code SUPERMEGA at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Follow Matt: @matthwatson Follow Ryan: @elirymagee Follow the show: @supermegashow To watch the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/supermegashowYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/supermegashowpod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/supermegashowpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This podcast is brought to you by Aura, a complete online safety toolkit.
This past summer, national public data reported a breach potentially affecting every American.
Over 2.9 billion records used for background checks were stolen.
If safeguarding personal information wasn't a priority before, this incident should serve
as a critical wake-up call.
You're more vulnerable than ever in today's digital landscape.
That's why we're thrilled to partner with Aura.
Aura monitors the dark web for users' phone numbers,
emails, and social security numbers,
delivering real-time alerts
if any suspicious activity is detected.
Additionally, Aura provides up to 5 million
in identity theft insurance,
offering a robust safety net
in the event of a worst-case scenario.
Aura is a complete online safety toolkit, which includes a variety of other features
to keep you safe online, including a VPN for secure browsing.
DataBroker opts out to stop companies from selling your personal information and a password
manager to help you create and store strong passwords.
For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14-day trial plus a check of your data to
see if your personal information has been leaked online.
All for free when you visit aura.com slash defense.
That's aura.com slash defense to sign up for a 14-day free trial and start protecting you
and your loved ones.
That's aura.com slash defense. Certain terms apply.
So be sure to check the site for details.
From everyday moments to super important memories like
weddings or birthday parties. Don't you feel like all of
those precious little moments are stuck in your camera roll?
Well, that's where aura steps in. You know, for a Thanksgiving present this year, Matt got me an Aura Frame and it was pre-loaded
with all of these selfies we had taken in the past and not only did it fill my heart
with so much joy and wonder, I was having so much fun while looking through these photos
on my Aura Frame.
It was fantastic.
Save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $35 off Aura's best selling Carver
Matte Frames by using promo code SUPERMEGA at checkout.
That's A-U-R-A-Frames.com promo code SUPERMEGA.
This deal is exclusive to listeners, so get yours now in time for the holidays.
Terms and conditions apply.
Before Ryan and I used Shopify, our lives were pretty bleak. We would sell our t-shirts on
street corners and only sell, you know, one or two a year. But then we became aware of a beautiful
service known as Shopify. You see, as growing entrepreneurs, Ryan McGee and myself needed a
better platform to sell our stuff on. Luckily, Shopify came around and made that whole process
incredibly easy and dang does it look good. You can be just like SuperMega
and use Shopify to upgrade your business and get the same checkout we have. Sign up
for your $1 a month trial period at Shopify.com slash super all lowercase.
That's Shopify.com slash super all lowercase all lowercase is not part of the URL it's just super all lowercase letters
Shopify.com slash super
What up Grinches what up Grinches? What up Grinches?
Or, I was thinking we could come in in song.
Okay.
You know, Frosty the Snowman.
I don't want to do that song.
He's a white man.
He's not a white man.
With a big top hat and a corn cob pipe and a big old
button nose frosty the white man I came from the alternate dimension where it's
like there it's like Christmas is spelled with two M's it's very similar
and has similar music just slightly slightly different oh hey man if you
believe in uh people always blast me, they're like, that's not what string
theory is.
I would get it wrong.
If you believe in alternate realities, then there is a reality.
And if you went, is Matt really bringing up alternate realities 10 seconds into the podcast?
Or if you're on Spotify, 10 minutes into the podcast.
Yeah, cause you guys got the nice 10 minutes of ads that started off.
But there is a universe where Christmas.
That's not us intentionally putting those in, by the way.
Yeah, we don't.
Before you go, Matt, really, they just scoffed
and spat in our faces about it.
It's Christmas season.
We're not gonna be some Scrooge's.
We're not trying to be Scrooge's.
Yeah.
That's for the advertisement company
that we have nothing to do with. Yeah, they put the's for the advertisement company that that that we have no we we have nothing to do with yeah
They put the they put the ads on on the audio version
And we don't have a say in that one the only ads we have a say in are the ones that we record
Yeah, if anything we're like Tiny Tim because we're our channel is sick and dying
Yeah, and uh
There you know the ad agency is kind of like Ebenezer Scrooge right?
Yeah. No no no they're they're like very generous Jesus. Okay. And then and then
the people listening are Scrooge. Because they get upset about the ad.
They're not willing to give us they're not willing to be generous for our holiday spirit.
And I could see the ghost of Christmas past
taking these viewers back through,
watching themselves watch the podcast
and they're instead of skipping ahead of the ads,
they're sitting there listening going, ah!
And it's a ghost of ads past.
I don't know, I didn't land very well.
No, it was something, it was something.
I'm trying to think of a better name for it.
It'll come, at some point.
Maybe later in the episode.
But Merry Christmas to everyone,
because this episode is coming out Christmas Day.
That's right, this episode is dropping on the tube
on Christmas Day.
Theoretically.
On Patreon though, it's not Christmas yet, but this episode is dropping on the tube on Christmas Day. Theoretically. On Patreon though, it's not Christmas yet,
but this episode is out.
And we hope that everyone is having
a wonderful holiday season,
whether you're celebrating Christmas
or one of the other ones.
Is there at least like a snowflake border
on the podcast this week, this episode?
I hope Luke puts a snowflake border that'd be nice right it would kind of like you know because
it's not so Christmasy yeah so the set you know we didn't really when we moved
out of the super megaplex and into this place for some reason it's like three
weeks to Christmas right now when we're filming because we're having to backlog
and stuff right so you know
We haven't bought decorations. We got rid of like for some reason we threw away all of our Christmas decorations
Or they got left out in the rain. Yeah, there's some some
Past employees some elf yeah some elf left out left out essentially a
a
bin full of Christmas decorations,
lights and clothes and stuff.
Now out in the rain and the nice LA acid rain.
And now we don't have any Christmas stuff.
So we kind of dug around the office.
Luckily I found this, this is like,
it's a sleeping cap is what I'm wearing,
but it does, you know, it kind of gives Santa vibes, right?
And I'm wearing my what up Grinch's hoodie, huh?
Uh-huh, which is very festive and the new super mega beanie is on my head the super mega beanie
You know what if if if you like kind of shift the colors in your mind a little more. It's red and green
Okay, that's Christmas colors. Well, beanie also winter, you know?
Yeah.
Just in general, when people are wearing beanies,
you're like, oh Christmas maybe.
For Canadians, took.
A took.
Yeah, but Canadians are cringe.
Canadians are very cringe.
Especially, except for their healthcare system.
No, that's pretty cringe too, Ryan.
Having to wait in line, no thanks.
I'd rather have to wait in line and pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for treatment.
Are we going to talk about the assassination of the CEO on the Christmas Day podcast?
Given our connection to it, probably shouldn't.
Yeah.
But Luigi Mangina, everyone! I'm gonna be honest when you know cuz he went silent cuz we were doing
the three of us were gonna do a
An improv troupe here in LA right and he stopped texting us and we were getting worried about him
I thought that he doesn't think we were funny if you remember during no no
I thought I thought the exact opposite because he remembered the last meeting we had
He like went above and beyond and did like some backflip But he slipped and kind of like fell the wrong way base, but you know back flip
Yeah, but he said even though the pain is excruciating like comedy is is
Like reaching that level of comedy is what I can only aspire to so if it takes that but like you know
So we seem pretty pretty alright after that
Except for the fact that he stopped texting but also I mean he was talking a couple
weeks ago to us about his plans to kill a healthcare CEO and we thought we were
he thought he was joking yeah probably shouldn't even mention that we knew that yeah a Luigi manjina everyone you know
I haven't seen anyone do that do what you know I see Luigi's mansion I see all
this I have not seen a single person throw out the manjina like old Greg like
old Greg your favorite yeah he has a manjina I last name. Like old Greg. Like old Greg. Your favorite. Yeah, he has a man-gina.
I still catch you watching old Greg.
Dude, I'm watching old Greg.
In fact, you listen to it like a podcast sometimes.
Two, three times a week.
You have the loop setting turned on on your YouTube.
Yeah.
I'll find you just asleep at your desk, you know.
It puts me at some Skittles and Buncha Crunch strewn
about, your two favorite candies. I love skittles
especially mixed together
Skittles and buncha crunch soup I put skittles in one side of my mouth
Sorry skittles and buncha crunch cereal and then I put the buncha crunch in the other side of the mouth and I just let
It sit for a bit and then they kind of just like melt and then I I start chewing and they mix together in this delicious
fruity chocolatey like amalgamation.
For all you little elves out there,
that might be a nice holiday treat to go try.
Yeah guys, trust me, it's very good.
And actually it's recommended by dentists
just to let the candy kind of sit along the back teeth
because it's the same thing as like getting a flu vaccine
where if you put the sugary stuff against your teeth,
it strengthens your teeth against sugar
Uh, you know for a while they didn't think that was the case
But it actually is just like any disease with your immune system, right?
Like any any sort of like vaccine has a little you know trace of the of the disease
Yeah, rfk was talking about this and uh, it's really kind of like breakthrough science
So i've been kind of coating my teeth.
I'm not sure if you can say he was talking about it. He was sure doing something but.
Yeah but you know I've been coating my teeth in like chocolate sauce before bed
just to kind of strengthen them. It hurts a little but you know pain is gain as they say.
Great movie. It's a Michael Bay movie that you're referencing directed by
Great movie. It's a Michael Bay movie that you're referencing directed by yeah, Michael Bay starring Dwayne the Rock Johnson
The guy who plays the new Captain America Anthony Jenkins. No Anthony Anthony
Anthony McIntyre Anthony Jezelnick. No Anthony Mackie. It's Anthony Mackie I what I love about you is when you don't remember someone's name
You don't like stop and try to remember it,
you just start firing out names until it lands.
Because what if my brain goes dead trying to find it?
Right.
So if I'm shooting these out, you just
gotta start shooting.
Giving more space for my neurons to make those connections.
Yeah, and when you shoot it out, then I'm hearing it,
so I can, my neurons can help.
Yeah, and cooperating is one of the keys to a successful business partnership.
You and I do a lot of cooperating.
We do a lot of cooperating.
Oh my god.
Like sometimes I'll open the door for you, that's a form of cooperation.
Sometimes you'll open the door for me.
Sometimes you wipe me, I wipe you. I mean it is Christmas.
Mm-hmm. I think we should do it more. I think we both deserve a good wiping today. Yeah, you know, I
went a whole week without wiping. A good Christmas wipe. I could use a good
Christmas wipe. You know, I got the the washcloths all soaked, you know, they're soaking in the sink.
Mm-hmm.
Just, I'm imagining the sink is stopped up, it's filled to the brim with brown water,
and there's washcloths just sitting there soaking that we've been using to wipe our
asses with for weeks.
And then when you're done, you just throw it back in the sink.
That's disgusting, dude.
Maybe that's why Luke doesn't poop at the office.
He's grossed out by our collection of ass wipe washcloths.
Luke doesn't poop at the office because he's a crazy person.
It's schizophrenia.
It's wild to me.
It's just kind of like one of those things where,
you know, you never, I don't want to seem like
I'm jumping the shark here, but you know,
you never suspect your friend to be like a psychotic
like serial killer, like to do something
like a mass shooting or something to that degree,
but there's little hints that you get.
And that to me is just, at least for me,
is just one of those little hints,
where it's like I could see where, in some way,
in his day-to-day life and his ritual,
something kind of interferes with that.
I could see how it could spawn a breaking point
to some degree.
Absolutely, and I think that's a really good comparison.
Like the Unabomber or something. Yeah, someone snaps and and you're like Ted Kaczynski. Were there signs like
what this came out of nowhere but then you you do start thinking back to these
little things and I think if Luke ever snaps we'll look back and be like well
he wouldn't poop at the office. We've talked about this before but he has to
every time after he feces he has to take a full shower and then Luke. I'm gonna do you a favor here
Hey audience even though it's Christmas
You know Luke's generosity can only run
So fluidly I guess so so enormously so so so he he made us cut out us
talking about his poops but in turn here's a picture of Luke spreading his
ass now Luke now you can either have one of the two things either we talk about
you pooping and you
just swallow it and you suck it up or... Does he not like when we talk about it?
Well I just feel like you know... It's private, it's bathroom business. It's his private
bathroom business. He doesn't want a bunch of Neanderthal super mega fans to
start going unga bunga, Luke no poo poo,
you know, just start throwing that out.
There's worse things, you know,
that the fan base could be going at.
I think going after Luke for having to fully bathe himself
after taking a poop is.
I mean, it's not a negative thing.
It's not a negative thing.
Not at all.
It's like he's too, can you really be too clean?
Well, technically, yes, you can. It's the opposite of justing can you really be too clean? Well technically yes you can.
It's the opposite of Justin.
You can take too many showers and use too much soap.
Yeah, you can actually do some damage to your skin, your epidermis if you use too much soap.
But Justin, our old editor, he refused to use bidets.
We had bidets at the old Super Megaplex and he wouldn't use them.
He still refuses to get... he doesn't have a bidet.
Not at his house.
And he's one of the only people I know that doesn't have a bidet.
When I go over there, I struggle.
It's awful.
If I have to poop, I'm sitting down on his toilet disappointed because I'm having to
just not just spend so much time away from my friends, but that time is spent, what, ruining the environment
by using unnecessary toilet paper?
It's just gross and dirty, and actually it makes me
sympathize Luke's standpoint more.
Like, when I use Justin's toilet.
To point, you know, to two sides of some sort of coin.
Right.
A shaped thing.
Like a Sacagawea coin.
Yeah, like some, yeah, a coin-shaped object.
Or like a flat, spherical,
can something be a flat and spherical?
No, it has to be flat and circular.
It could be like a disc, you know,
where it has no actual edges.
But a disc isn't spherical.
Well, no, but you could have a squished sphere,
you know, that's like this.
Okay. So it has no actual hard edges,
but it is a complex.
But is a squished sphere still a sphere or is it a squished sphere I?
Think it yeah
I don't know if a sphere has to be perfectly round like if you have a sphere and it's a little bit compressed
So it's more like oblong those what are those oblong egg-shaped spheres called?
Ove of not ovals. There's there's a there's a 3d name for them
Oblong is a great word
Isn't don't they use that word and like fucking?
Photoshop somewhere maybe not why no no no no I paint some old program where you chose an oval instead of a circle
Yeah, it's uh it wasn't just oval
It might have been ovals, but like I mean I know it's an oval
I know what an oval is but there's got to be some sort of
Intense scientific name what like like a the name of a 3d
I'm gonna look it up. Smushed like well our the way our brains work is really magical, dude
We were talking about we were talking about you know how Justin doesn't wipe
And how Luke showers after he uses the bathroom and then we really just
Jump straight headfirst into squished 3d spheres what?
ellipse oh
3d oval is called an avoid avoid avoid avoid
OVO ID mm-hmm
That's definitely not what I was thinking. No, I've never heard that in my life.
I'm thinking of something that's like ellipid, ellipt,
ellipse.
Ellipse?
Elliptical, an ellip, oh my God, a lip?
I know what you're talking about.
Like an elliptical orbit of a planet
is one that's like really long and stretched out.
Right?
Yeah.
Like ellipse, ellipses is the three dots
at the end of a sentence, and then an elliptical shape is an oval
But there is a there's got to be a name for this 3d shape. We're thinking of I mean, it's an avoid apparently avoid
No, dude, that's not what I wanted to hear. I'm gonna be honest. It's not what I wanted here
oblong sphere right
You know if I if if if Santa gave me a few Christmas wishers,
I would use one of them to rename an ovoid,
because I do not like that name.
Ellipsoid.
An oblong sphere is called an ellipsoid.
More specifically, if the oblongness is due
to being flattened at the poles,
it would be called an oblate spheroid.
Okay, so an ellipsoid.
Yeah, or a spheroid.
I feel like spheroids all right.
A spheroid, also known as an ellipsoid or revolution or rotational ellipsoid, is a quadratic
surface obtained by rotating an ellipse about one of its principal axes.
In other words, an ellipsoid with two equal semi-diameters.
Uh, yeah. principal axis, in other words, an ellipsoid with two equal semi-diameters. Yeah. So we did learn something. It's a beautiful Christmas day and we learned the 3D shape of a
squished sphere. Jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.
Hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.
And thank you, Luke, for doing an acapella tambourine throughout that.
He's great at making those tambourine sounds with his mouth. That's why that's
why he's a part of this you know he's a part of this trio this tri-triage.
He's a triad. Yeah. That's what we go by it's's what we've been, we're trying to coin that.
The three of us, the triad.
The triad, isn't that the name of the Hong Kong mafia?
I think so.
Yeah, I think that's like, the Hong Kongese mafia is called the triad.
The Hong Kongese?
Yeah, Hong Kongese.
The Hong Kongians?
Hong Kongians?
Yeah, speak Hong Kongese.
What are they called? The Hong, the Hong Kongans? Hong, I mean, Hong Kongans? Hong Kongians? Hong Kongians? You gotta speak Hong Kongese! What are they called?
Hong Kongans? I mean, yeah, what are they called?
I'm just gonna go with Hong Kongians. I like Hong Kongians.
It would just be funny if I looked up on Google, it's like, what are people from Hong Kong called?
And then it just gives me Chinese. I'm like, oh, well, I mean, it's not lying.
But don't they have, like, South Carol I mean, it's not lying. Hong Kong-ian.
But don't they have like, you know,
South Carolinian, North, you know.
Hong Kong-ian, 100%.
I'm gonna look it up.
Or Hong Kong-ese or Hong Kongoids.
How about Hong Kongoids?
You know, we're talking about spheroids, ellipsoids.
Why not Hong Kongoids?
People from Hong Kong are called Hong Kongers.
Hong Kongers?
Or Hong, Hong Kongese. Hong Kongers? Or Hong Hong Kongese. Hong
Kongese, okay, so I didn't think of either one of those. Hong Konger does...
Hong Kongers preferred by governments around the world, including the
United States. So you're saying President Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr.
uses the term Hong Konger. Got some Hong Kongers on the other side of the pond.
I don't like it, it sounds bad. It just sounds like some sort of like Zelda monster.
A Hong Konger?
You have to go fight like a little band,
like a camp of Hong Kongers.
Go rid the camp of Hong Kongers
and bring back the Whizmer Star.
Exactly, there's a little group of Hong Kongers on bring back the whizmer star. Exactly, there's a little like group of Hong Kongers
on the outskirts of the map and you know,
they're gonna attack so you gotta go raid them,
take them out.
Or Hong Kong-y.
If we go along that way, we're kind of playing
in the Chinese propaganda in terms of Hong Kong
being kind of more like absurdist revolutionary
compared to that of the the the
How they would like to be viewed as the people who get the shit done in business suits and glasses
Hongkongers
The the oh the Chinese Chinese
What yeah on a Chinese government simple solution?
to the whole
I don't want to get political but you Taiwan, Hong Kong, simple solution to all of that in my opinion is I just think that just another country should just claim, like
Scotland should claim Taiwan and Hong Kong as part of theirs.
So then it's not like Taiwan, China, they say they're this, but they say they're this.
It's like if it's Scotland or something then problem solved see
I think that the United States should do that and then we should rename the places like we we should keep their name Taiwan
Except we include the the you know how you know
United States then it goes of America right our little signature on that would be Taiwan, but America ooh
Taiwan, but America so like everywhere we capture it's that name We keep it still like the locals and stuff and then not of a Taiwan, but America yes, okay tba one
But America is there a comma?
Mm-hmm, I like maybe Hong Kong, but America if it's grammatically correct
I'm kind of at a loss of in terms of like the grammatical
like I'm kind of at a loss of in terms of like the grammatical like
Like if it's correct or not, I like that
actually when you think about like
America
We have a lot of time Hong Kong, but America Hong Kong, but America
HKBA, you know kind of rolls off the lips
It does it rolls off the lips real lickety split. It kind of really rolls off your the good old cupid's bow there, doesn't it? Hong Kong but America. Like it feels good
in my mouth. Can you feel how that makes your cupid's bow quiver? Yeah, I do feel it quivering.
You know, the only reason I know what a cupid's bow is, is because of FaceApp. Really? The
only reason I know what it's called is because of the Prince of Egypt because it was so the Cupid's bow was so prominent
And sometimes being a different color that I would be like, what is that? And then I looked it up
And it was a Cupid's bow. I used to do some fantastic fan art of Prince of Egypt. It's a great movie
I had Steve Martin Ralph Fiennes Steve Carell. I had a basically
My dad being an architect guy,
had these big pieces of cardboard always for some reason.
That's what big brown pieces.
Jacksepticeye just got diagnosed with, right?
Yes.
And I would do fan art of the Prince of Egypt
all over these big pieces of cardboard.
And Jacksepticeye also I believe was diagnosed as Egyptian,
I think, was like a side diagnosis,
but I don't think he's public about that yet.
Yeah, I can see why.
Yeah, so we're gonna take a quick commercial break
because I have to pee and contractually,
we're obligated to go to a commercial break.
We know you guys love the commercial breaks. They don't interrupt the
flow, see? Because I am announcing it's going to happen, so it's nice and smooth.
Favorite time of year. Let's go.
This podcast is brought to you by Aura, the most complete online safety toolkit.
2024 has seen a massive surge in high profile data breaches, raising serious concerns about
the security of your personal information.
Dell's breach exposed 3.9 million customer records, and Ticketmaster also faced a massive
breach, compromising over 560 million records.
And most alarming of all, this past summer, national public data reported a breach potentially
affecting every single American.
2.9 billion records used for background checks were stolen and released to the public for
free.
If this all sounds pretty scary, it's because it is.
You've never been more vulnerable in the digital world than you are right now.
But before I keep spouting dark statistics and grim news stories, I'll share some positive news.
This podcast is thrilled to partner with Aura,
who monitors the dark web for users,
phone numbers, emails, and social security numbers,
delivering real-time alerts
if any suspicious activity is detected.
And even better than that,
Aura provides up to $5 million in identity theft insurance,
making sure you have a safety net
in the event of a worst case scenario.
Aura is a complete online safety toolkit,
which includes a variety of other features
to keep you safe online.
They have a VPN for secure browsing.
They even have a password manager to help you create
and store strong passwords and more.
I've already started all my holiday shopping
for my friends and family,
and I can rest easy knowing that Aura has my back.
For a limited time,
Aura is offering our listeners a 14-day trial
plus a check of your data
to see if your personal information has been leaked online.
All for free when you visit aura.com slash defense.
That's aura.com slash defense
to sign up for a 14-day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones
Once more that's a ura.com
slash defense certain terms apply so be sure to check their site for details
Breaking news coming in from bet 365 where every nail biting overtime win breakaway pick six three-point shot
underdog win buzzer beater, shoot out, walk off, and absolutely every play in between is amazing. From football to basketball and hockey to baseball, whatever the moment, it's never ordinary at Bet365.
Must be 19 or older, Ontario only. Please play responsibly.
If you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca.
It's time!
Rockin' around the Christmas tree with my friend Matt Watson tonight.
Eatin' a Milky Way and strokin' his cock, it's Christmas tonight.
Tonight. Tonight Every time he's stroking easy in candy
And drinking pain
And drinking pee, I don't know dude, I'm trying here I'm struggling
I've had a I've had a writer's block for forever, and I'm struggling. I've had a I've had a writer's block for forever and I'm just
I know I know I just I just it's a writer's block. Don't get it twisted man
Just cuz you have a writer's block doesn't mean you get to go around saying bullshit about me like I drink pee
well, I mean
No, no what?
Yes, there was someone else who drank your pee. It wasn't you who drank. No, I drank my own pee
Oh, yes, you did drink in solidarity
It was it wasn't bad. I mean it was just
Matt Watson piss I taste bad about it coffee. We kind of had a coffee flavor nice golden
Surprise shower some people call it I guess well golden is only if you catch me in the act.
That's true.
Amen brother.
That's what I'm talking about.
You ever partake in a golden shower?
No myself when I'm laying down in an empty tub
without the water running.
Fuck yeah dude I go to town.
Just woo!
Just straight up.
Try to catch it in my mouth.
And then you know what?
My tongue's out and everything.
Ah ah ah ah ah. The best part about it, what goes up must come down. Try to catch it in my mouth and then and you know, you know, my tongue's out and everything
The best part about it what goes up must come down. I got some in my eye
Just spraying that shit gets in my nose. I go
Slimy bile spit is infused with piss. It's fucking awesome. It's like it's becoming one with yourself, honestly. Sorry, this section of the podcast is to weed out the non-fans. Yeah. The people who are just
listening to pastime. The people who are like, I'll give these guys a shot. Uh, okay, never mind.
They're just talking about just pissing straight up in the air on themselves. 30 and 28, huh?
Uh-huh. Uh, hey, soon I'll be 29. Hey, and soon I'll be 31. I'll be a shit dude. I guess
in you know half a year. Month and a half for me I'll be 29. The big two nine. Last
year of my 20s. I know. I don't know how to feel about it. Been there, done that. It's
crazy you've already existed and soaked up every single moment of your 20s. I
have it's all gone now.
I have one more, one more year.
I leveled up.
Yeah you did.
To three zero.
Level 30, reached baby.
Not a lot of people get to level 100 though.
Jimmy Carter.
That is true.
Did.
Alec Baldwin, he's about a hundred and one.
He's a hundred.
A hundred and one maybe, yeah.
I remember cause he did a thing at Quentin Tarantino's theater where he was turning 101
So he invited fans and that's right and celebrities alike to come
It was he was trying to get the Alec Baldwin was trying to get the Guinness Book World record
Record for the most amount of people in the theater watching 101 Dalmatians at once
But the fire codes prevented that from happening. Yeah and also the premiere of the movie like
back in 1999 or whatever had way more people. Yes. I don't know why he thought
he booked a theater that was too small anyway. He was excited to turn 101.
I mean he's not I mean granted and in actual human years he's like you know
50 60 something but he's he's going
by I can't remember what what calendar his religion goes by but he goes by
some weird like Sumerian calendar yeah so like to him he's 101 yeah but I
think it's kind of bullshit I think he's just trying to be special but doesn't
uh there are other countries that have different like isn't Korea and like the year 4,000
So I wish I could get there. Yeah, I might be completely wrong
Korea looks like that in the year 4,000 embarrassing
Yeah, I'm lumping it all into one. Mm-hmm
To me, there's only one Korea
You know the president of Korea just kind of made
himself look like a fool. So does North and South Korea share East and West
Korea? No it's disputed on like who owns East and West Korea. Like North says
they own it, South says they own it. But again I think maybe it could just be
like East Korea of America, but America. West Korea, but America.
I like that, right?
It could catch on.
The but America thing.
100%.
So you do think it could catch on.
Yeah.
Okay.
You know, we're the strongest military in the world.
That's not to be doubted.
I think if we wanted that to catch on, it could happen.
We have the strictest, highest budget military with the strictest airspaces.
That's why we've been letting drones fly around New Jersey for weeks. strictest, highest budget military with the strictest airspaces.
That's why we've been letting drones fly around New Jersey for weeks.
I was about to say, that's exactly why we just kind of,
like we don't chase after them, we don't even so much
as throw rocks up at them to see if, you know,
it's our eyes playing tricks on us.
I saw the FBI testified in front of Congress,
and he goes, so you're telling me,
it's been going on for weeks and we have no idea what
Who these belong to that is correct and he's like
More like FBI e yeah federal Bureau of indecent exposure
Don't talk about the FBI FBI agents are famous for going to
specifically history museums and
flashing their cocks and or labias it's a power thing it is it is and it's
like a rite of passage in the organization yeah you know like in certain
rites of passage you know in some cultures it's you know have sex with a with a mule or
Walk up a hill about Tucker's culture. Yeah. Yeah, so
There's the Prescott onion. Is that what he's good. Is that what they're going by now? I mean, I'm like Tucker. It's not a culture
It's just your family and it's having sex with animals and it's weird and you're justifying it by saying it's some cultural thing when it's
Just you know you Like having sex. Yeah, you know it's weird, but you know I'm not gonna rain on his parade
He shoots good videos for us. So was every like when you look into it like even even the the good old Kool-Aid boys every
99.9 percent of cult
Pretty much it just comes down to it just comes down to sex right dude
I was trying to figure out what you meant by Kool-Aid boys and then click
things I'm not Jonestown yeah they're like 900 people that commit suicide the
Kool-Aid boys that's fucking awesome they took syringes and squirted them into
the mouths of like children and shit yeah dude there's footage and all that
they drank the Kool-Aid but like col, it all comes down to like one dude's like narcissism and then wanting to just
have sex with like anyone he wants. Usually. That's like the key defining trait. Waco was
like that. I know that the guy that ran the whole Waco show. Jared Leto? Uh, well he didn't run Waco. No no no no no.
But there are theories. You know,
the guy that ran Waco, you know, I posted them on Reddit and no one's really given
him any traction but...
You put him on the wrong subreddit, you know, you can't go in
r slash Jared Leto or yeah r slash.
You know, MrClean subreddit is for cleaning information and stuff so when you're going on
there posting about it
Did you mean to post it there?
Are you just trying to get more eyes on it? I mean, you know, I see a lot of subreddits going get get um, mr
Squiggle or let you know, for example, mr. Squiggle get him to visit every subreddit. Okay, it's like one of those things
I think probably sure, you know where it's like except it's just my question that I wanna answer.
Well, I hope no one goes on the Mr. Clean subreddit now
and spams them with Jared Leto, Waco, cold questions.
But yeah, he had sex, he had a bunch of different wives,
and I feel like a lot of the time,
it's guys that are horny that are like,
uh, I'm God and I can have as many wives as I want.
Mm.
Yep, I am a God.
Bundy.
The Kool-Aid boys, specifically.
Jim Jones of Jonestown fame.
James Jones.
He actually.
Little Jonathan Jones.
Johnson Jones.
Dude, if his name was Johnson,
can you just imagine like Johnson Town?
It would be known as Johnson Town. Or like if his name was Nelson, can you just imagine like Johnson Town? It would be known as Johnson Town.
Or like if his name was Nelson, it'd be Nelson Town.
So, Jones is still a funny name, Jonestown.
But he would fuck men in the ass to prove to them
that he was straight and they were gay.
Aside from fucking them in their pussies.
Right.
He actually would though, that was a thing.
He'd fuck men in the ass to show them how he's straight and they're gay
And the logic on that one checks out. Well. I mean it's the age old
It's not it's not gay to have sex with a man. It's not gay to suck a dude's dick
It's gay no, it's not no no no no no no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, embarrassed right not by the law no besides that one time but you know if
you're receiving the oral sex it's not gay for you however if you're receiving
these I can close my eyes and picture like you know Megan Fox yeah sure no
Megan Fox well or or machine gun Edward yeah
machine gun Edward. Yeah.
I think he should change his name.
Initially the machine gun Edward.
I think it has a better ring to it.
I think it has, I think, I think.
I tried to pitch it here and I think that's a,
I think that that's proof enough.
I hope he's watching.
You know apparently him and Megan Kelly, Fox,
whatever the fuck.
Megan Kelly?
Him, machine gun Edward and Megan Fox split up again
after announcing a pregnancy again?
What?
What's going on?
Hey, Megan Kelly was pregnant?
No, Megan Fox was pregnant with Machine Gun Kelly's baby.
Really?
Machine Gun Edward's baby.
Dude, Machine Gun Edward has such a better ringtone.
Machine Gun Kelly is, that sounds dumb as fuck.
Right?
Sounds childish.
Machine Gun Edward though, that sounds hard.
Like that sounds really fucking good.
I like that.
Yeah I just want like,
y'all like something this summer is,
yay can you post your favorite
Machine Gun Edward song?
Dude I want people to just start changing his name
to Machine Gun Edward in Wikipedia.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
We're already, uh...
We're gonna get permanently banned from all communities.
Yeah, we're gonna...
Wikipedia's gonna use their big budget to fire missiles at our establishments.
Wikipedia's...
Uh, you know, the thing is, you'd think Wikipedia would have a lot of money, right?
Because it's a big company.
It's not.
But every year, they're fucking popping up at the top of the page.
It's like, please give us money, please,
can you join us, two dollars.
Shut up, Wikipedia, Jesus.
I can't even use you as a cited source on a school project.
What makes me, what are you worth saving?
Well, in the long run, what am I saving you for?
I'm not gonna toss.
That's a joke, obviously, information and stuff.
Five bucks your way if I can't even use you
on a high school paper because anyone can change Wikipedia I mean we
know firsthand that anyone can change Wikipedia because there's deniers out
Ryan McGee the star denies G-scorp I whatever. G-scorp I. It's from two episodes ago for
those who are curious about what we're talking about. But the Kool-Aid
boys, back to them. I don't know if that one was about sex overall. I think that was more
so just like a weird narcissism.
Just, well sex usually falls in line with power, right?
Yeah. Yeah.
So power is like control and how do you have control over someone? Sex. Mine, by using mind control devices.
Well like, I mean imagine the amount of control
these guys got off on when it's like,
I'm just gonna have sex with all these guys' wives.
And then I'm gonna have sex with them.
To show them how gay they are.
They're all mine.
All of them are mine.
Michael, come here, we're gonna have some gay sex
because I'm straight and
you're gay. Fuck. God damn he's right. No I'm gonna prove to him how straight I am. I'm gonna
by showing him how much I dislike it. Oh. I'm going ew. Keep going because I love you as my
leader but ew. This is just I this is not what my body wants me to be feeling. God
Michael you look so gay when you were coming in my face. Oh
That's and then seen that's uh, I was Jim Jones having gay sex with someone named Michael
Could use a little word Michael was acting like he wasn't enjoying it to make him feel better even though Michael was you actually?
Really enjoyed the gay sex but to make sure it looked like his lesson was being learned he had to go. Oh, I hate this yeah
You know which which you tried to do it. You know for a month ads
What nothing I was I just got mixed I I shouldn't have
Fucking said just ads we can't go to it's too soon. No, it's not. Okay.
Bumble knows it's hard to start conversations.
Hey. No, too basic. Hi there.
Still no. What about, hello handsome.
Who knew you could give yourself the ick?
That's why Bumble is changing how you start conversations.
You can now make the first move or not.
With opening moves, you simply choose a question
to be automatically sent to your matches.
Then sit back and let your matches start the chat.
Download Bumble and try it for yourself.
From everyday moments to super important memories
like weddings or birthday
parties, don't you feel like all of those precious little moments are stuck in your
camera roll? I know you wish there was just a way to easily share those moments
with your friends and family. Well that's where Aura steps in. Named the number one
digital photo frame by Wirecutter might I add, Aura makes it effortless to upload
unlimited photos, videos, just so you can easily view
them on the Aura photo frame.
Plus you can preload an Aura frame with pictures for a special someone.
You know, so they open up their brand new Aura frame, they go, what in the world?
There's already all these wonderful memories on here.
What the hey?
You thought about me like this?
Are we friends?
The answer would be yes.
You're great friends because you got them an Aura frame.
You know for a Thanksgiving present this year, Matt got me an Aura frame and it was preloaded
with all of these selfies we had taken in the past.
And not only did it fill my heart with so much joy and wonder, I was having so much fun while looking through these photos on my Aura frame.
It was fantastic. Save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $35 off Aura's best-selling CarverMap frames by using promo code SuperMega at checkout.
That's A-U-R-A-Frames.com promo code SuperMega.
This deal is exclusive to listeners, so get yours now in time for the holidays
Terms and conditions apply
With uber reserve good things come to those who plan ahead
Family vacay reserve your ride as soon as you book your flights
To all the planners now you can reserve your uber ride up to 90 days in advance. See Uber app for details.
2025 man. It's upon us. Like that. That was a good ass snap you just did, dude. Thank you. That was a really good. Can we
get a replay of that? That was a good fucking snap. I am
thoroughly and what are you doing, dude?
How does that how does the beanie fit it's it's a new super mega beanie
Looks cool. It looks nice, dude. I know I like I really like how our Black Friday stuff turned out
So did all of the people hopefully that ordered every single one of you we put a lot of
work into it and put our whole asses and boosies into it it's a busy holiday
it's just fucking busy it's always it's always been busy there's there's never
been a holiday season where we've had time to relax now this year has not been
different we are still like you, in the middle of editing stuff
and getting things going and making sure stuff is good
because I'm gonna head home to see my family for Christmas.
Expensive vacations.
I know, I'm going on another expensive
Irmo, South Carolina vacation.
You know, the number one tourist destination
of the United States is Irmo, South Carolina
Not just the United States. It's actually of the world now got people coming far and wide
You know from Qatar from fucking Iceland everyone's going to Irmo, South Carolina
They just want they want to go to the Harbison Mall
the the Mecca of
Permed grandma's brother
of permed grandmas, brother. Oh man, I miss Irmo.
I gotta go, I gotta stop in.
Give it a little smooch?
Yeah, I'll give Irmo a smooch.
What do you miss about the Columbiana Center?
Oh, the Columbiana Center, that's where I saw Interstellar.
Dutch Square Mall?
Mm-hmm.
Do you like Dutch Square Mall?
Love Dutch Square Mall.
Mostly for the AMC movie theater.
What is the mall that has the fucking creepy clown statue?
I've talked about this before.
There is literally a life-size, do you know what I'm talking about? It might be Dutch Square
You know what I'm talking about right? Is it like a big bronze statue? Or is it colored? No it's painted
I think hold on. I just have a memory of like a very fucking scary clown statue in a mall
And I was there at nighttime, and it was really liminal because like all the stores were closed. I'm in this mall
I don't know I was going to the movies so the rest of them all was closed
But I somehow ended up inside the mall half the lights are off in there
That's got to be Dutch Square Mall then it was really weird
But there was like a fucking creepy clown in there, and I just remember this was like 2015
Mm-hmm, and I'm already being creeped out. It was very very
Was it the same mall with the Burlington Co. Factory, right? Oh
I don't know dude. There's a lot of Burlington Co. Factories. Well, this is the Burlington Co. Factory. Okay, buddy one
The the Burlington of South Carolina like this is the one you go to you live in Columbia, South Carolina
You're gonna go to the Dutch Square Mall,
go see yourself a wonderful animated flick with the kids,
get some food court food after,
if any of the restaurants are even still open.
Maybe afterwards, go hit up one of the vending machines
to get an extra diet Pepsi.
Or go into the family restroom,
take a big shit and don't flush it.
Ooh, I love when people do that.
I love when people decide not to flush in public restrooms.
Dude, that's actually insane to me.
It's like the easiest thing someone can do. And it's legitimately like making the choice
to not flush your disgusting shit.
I don't understand. Like, you know what, not that I would ever make the argument for it,
but there's, you know, not putting up the seat, someone pissing on the seat.
That even makes somewhat sense,
but not flushing your shit doesn't.
Just even hit it with your, you know.
Like why would you not flush?
You don't wanna touch it with your hands, you know, whatever.
It's intentional, it has to be intentional.
You can do it with your foot, that's what I do.
I don't believe that there's any grown person out there
that is stupid enough to just not, like if you don't remember to flush, then there's something grown person out there that is stupid enough to just not,
like if you don't remember to flush,
then there's something really wrong there
because that's something that is ingrained
since you're like a little tyke.
There are people that exist that shit,
wipe, and then walk away.
They just forget, they just don't even do
the last step of flush,
because in their head they're like,
someone else will flush it.
Maybe they're environmentalists and they just don't want to waste water step of flush, because in their head they're like, someone else will flush it. Maybe they're environmentalists
and they just don't wanna waste water.
You know, or poop.
Or poop.
Or poop water.
A lot of people, you know, they have the mentality of,
you worked at a grocery store,
I worked at a fast food restaurant,
so we saw it firsthand,
a lot of people have the mentality of,
someone else will do it for me.
You know, it's like, I don't wanna throw my trash away, someone else will do it.
So it's like the same mindset, but on such a fundamentally more like gross level where
it's like, someone else will flush my feces.
Yeah, well like at a fucking food line,
of course we'd always have people just being shitty
with the restrooms and all that,
but you know, you get the age old people taking stuff
out of their fridge, like a big thing of ice cream,
take it out of the refrigerator section,
put it down in like aisle five,
because they decided they didn't want it anymore.
Oh, oh, okay.
And it's just like, why not,
because they didn't want to go all the way
to the ice cream section.
Some people put like a whole gallon.
They don't want to put it back.
They'll put a gallon of milk on a shelf.
Like people will place cold,
are meant to be in a freezer,
that they got from the freezer.
And they'll just put it on,
and like the whole thing is like,
it's not about an argument of like,
that, you're wasting that company's milk.
How dare you?
It's coming from a place of,
there are employees that have to go in afterwards and like,
they have to go fucking take the milk off the shelf,
they have to go fucking pour the milk down the drain
and then throw the milk away.
That's time that they have to take away
from doing the other shit that their manager
is hounding them on.
I don't know, I know at the end of the day,
it's not that big of a thing that the employee has to do,
but it's just disrespectful and lazy and and stupid and you you should have people should have more general
respect for the for strangers in public that is a something that I don't think
is you're ever really gonna get an American culture no you know it's like
how do you fix that there's no way to really fix like do the galler a when
it's crowded oh my god dude makes me so fucking mad people just are so they're they're
They're oblivious oblivious except for like the their own
Like two feet in front of them. They don't care about anyone else Glendale is is
Intense when it comes to oh, yeah people caring about
other people's like space or I
Can't tell you the number of times I've been cut off in Glendale specifically and there's a reason why people are just walking straight at you. Like there's this one time I was like off to the side next to next to a trash can
this was recently and I was I threw something away and I was just you know
collecting myself I wasn't in the pathway I was next to a trash can you
know off by like a railing and I I saw, and I watched this guy,
like he started far away and I watched him just beeline
and he just walked right towards me and like didn't stop.
And I just stayed there
because I'm just like leaning on the railing,
not in a pathway again, I have to stress.
But it's just like, I watched him, he's like,
he didn't pay attention or notice
or have any thought to walk around me.
I was just, he just, I don't know,
people don't see anything besides
like some sort of glowing path in like a video game.
Where it's like the path to your next
dopamine rush is this way.
You know, like I'm just trying to get to fucking JCPenney.
So they just see that, they just see JCPenney at B
and they're at A and they're just A to B without any sort of like
forethought or any sort of spatial awareness. What I noticed big time in
Glendale you got all these macho dudes who
Specifically oh geez, dude
How embarrassing I spilled my empty monster can all over the carpet
You've got these macho dudes that it's like you're gonna get out of the way, not them.
So like if you're in your section of the sidewalk on the right side whatever and they're walking
down the wrong side of the sidewalk towards you, it's like there's no world where they're
going to go around you or move.
It's like of course you're gonna move. That's what they're going to go around you or move, it's like, of course you're gonna move.
That's what they're thinking.
And you do, because they will, they're big dudes.
You know what I do sometimes that does help?
Sometimes nothing really changes.
But sometimes if I notice that I'm on my side of the sidewalk,
someone's walking my way like you were just describing,
I'll sometimes look off out of the way
like I'm distracted by something
so the person kinda clues in like,
oh they seem distracted.
I manipulate them to move out of my...
Something I like, what you do,
and I've noticed you've done this quite a bit,
but we'll be out in public together,
and specifically in Glendale,
and one of these macho dudes will basically
just like walk right up in your business
and I know Ryan McGee's not gonna take it
and I just hear you go.
You do the little tooth sounds like right in their ear
as they go by and I love it.
Well they do look most of the time.
Because they're not gonna like,
they're not thinking that this grown man
just made a fart sound in their ear.
No, my butt's all the way down three feet below
where their ears are.
My butt's down here.
Yeah, exactly.
But I do love that you do that.
It's my little sign of protest to be like,
hey, are you paying attention?
It's the best way to protest.
Like same with when someone is getting mad at me in traffic
instead of giving them the finger
I like to just give them a thumbs up because it confuses they're like
Well, I know I'm mad at you. Did I do something?
I have to sit here and explain why I'm upset not happy fuck
It really throws off their groove the other night
I was driving home from an Emperor's new groove to Cusco in the very beginning of the movie
Yeah, he does he throws him out the tower of the movie yeah does he throws him out the tower yeah well the guard throws him out
the tower yeah but I was driving home at night the other night and this guy just
doesn't even look just walks in front of my car I'm going I'm probably going 30
and I'm about going 30 on a sidewalk. Yeah, I was on the sidewalk, but
He just walks out in
front of my car
Where if I had been like looking down I easily could have just squished this man
And I'm like Jesus dude, and he walks across and I I tooted my horn
Because it's nighttime. He's wearing dark clothes, and I'm like, dude, are you, I think he was probably high or something,
he just wasn't paying attention.
And tooting my horn did not sit right with him
because the second I tooted that horn,
he stops and he runs back out in the middle of the street
in front of my car and he leaps in front of my car
and started yelling.
150 pound man versus 2,000 pound vehicle.
I know, unfortunately.
How many, no, no, it's like,
way more than 2,000 fucking pounds.
That's about like 6,000, 7,000 pounds.
It's like three tons, right?
Yeah, so I swerve around him
and he smacks my car with his grocery bag as I go by.
Dude, I'm just baffled at the gall
to walk in front of a car, you're lucky the car
doesn't hit you, and then getting mad at the car.
Yeah, he's lucky you didn't hit him.
You could have if you wanted to.
I should have fucking run him over, dude.
I should have fucking killed him.
If you wanted to, you could have ended
his fucking miserable little life.
Jaywalking ass.
If I ever see that Jaywalking motherfucker again,
I'm gonna fucking run him over.
Well, at least it gives you some satisfaction that whatever he hit your car with broke inside the bag.
It did. Because I got home and I looked at the car, because the bag went BOOM on the side of my car.
No dent or anything, right? No dent. Strong car.
Very strong car. Those Lithuanians know how to make a vehicle.
They do. They do. It's combat ready. But basically, there was some stuff that looked like salsa on the side of my car. Those Lithuanians know how to make a vehicle. They do, they do. It's combat ready.
But basically there was some stuff that looked like salsa on the side of my car. So I guess
whatever was in his bag was maybe some salsa or some chili or something. So like decapitated
head of like his mom. Could have been. And then the DNA is like now on your car and the
police. What the hell? I mean it did kind of look like some matter. That's the best
way to describe it was matter. Matter.
And I didn't know what it was, but.
Salsa.
Salsa, chili, pasta, entrails,
something along the lines of that.
Who's to say?
But I just, the older I get, I hate it.
The more jaded I get towards the rest of society.
Well you see how grumpy old people are.
Some are cheerful. I get it, because especially society, you know? Well, you see how grumpy old people are. Some are cheerful.
I get it.
Because, especially living in Los Angeles, dude, like,
I just-
Oh, that'll do it for you, definitely.
I try to give people the benefit of the doubt
most of the time,
probably to a fault.
And just the older I get, the more frustrated I get
with dealing with selfish people's dumbassery.
Like strangers that just don't have any care
for anyone else except for themselves.
The people who essentially, let's say,
pull out in the middle of a busy road
that don't even look, that are just like,
people have to stop for me if I pull out in front of them.
Or people that poop and don't flush it.
But they're gonna come across someone who thinks the exact same way,
who's selfishly like texting and driving.
And then, I don't know, every now and then,
it's an you know, it's unfortunate that most of the time these people run into
people who aren't doing anything wrong. Right.
It's just people that are being assholes or selfish on the road.
When people should hopefully be a little more safe, you know, you're in control of a literally like a killing machine.
Well there's a reason why Glendale has the highest insurance in the entire country.
Awful drivers.
Very aggressive.
Very aggressive.
Very macho culture and car culture.
Dude driving in Glendale has made me a veteran, a veteran driver.
You know my blood pressure spikes whenever I see a BMW
or a G-Wagon.
I was about to say G-Wagon, dude.
Those G-Wagons, they don't give a fuck.
Or a Mercedes-Benz, although it's a Mercedes-Benz,
so how could you get mad at it?
You get more excited.
A G-Wagon is a Mercedes-Benz.
I kind of separate a G-Wagon,
because Mercedes-Benz are obnoxious.
I put them on equal obnoxiousness is like a BMW
But G wagon is on a whole nother fucking like a G wagons like a rich person's Jeep. Yeah, it's like
If you are always weaving around exit like like going into the carpool in when it's only one person in the car
like not even at the dotted entry points just look crossing the double yellow to
To because it's like if they clip someone
They just could have they if they clip someone they just
could have they could they could very easily just kill someone being stupid
and in a rush and it happens all the time specifically g-wagon owners is who
I'm talking about anyone else in a rush I understand but a g-wagon owner has you
know has if you own a g-wagon there's no reason you you're in a rush your your
life is fine g-wagons are like when I found out how expensive they were
I was kind of shocked, I had no idea that G wagons
were such a like quote unquote luxury car.
Because I mean they obviously look nice,
but when you look at it, you know, it's just kind of like,
in my head it was just another kind of like Jeep
or FJ Cruiser type thing.
And then you look it up and it's like dude,
they're like $150,000, Like it's an expensive ass car.
It's essentially like, I view it as like,
it gives off the energy of like, it's one of two things.
Like young asshole showing off, not young asshole,
like 20 to 30s age, probably like 25 to 30 year range.
Rich family asshole.
Huh?
With rich family.
With rich family or like rich soccer mom.
Those are the two vibes I get from G wagons.
There's never like just this nice down to earth
middle aged guy driving a G wagon.
No dude.
It's always either some like incredibly pompous
young like LA girl or guy
where I feel like I can smell the perfume or the cologne like outside the car
You know their car smells just like their perfume or cologne. Okay, that's so good and
Probably keep it in the glove like box so they've been spored on the seats. Yeah, you know just so kind of they
Right before getting on there getting on the road. I think what I
Saw this a while back and it's true
It's like the ultimate test of if you're a good person
or not.
Flushing a toilet that you just shit in, one.
That is an excellent.
Are you about to say the putting the carts in the.
Yeah, I was gonna say the shopping cart thing.
You and I are both the same way when it comes to that.
More so definitely because I worked at a grocery store.
So you definitely have more room to say that
you are more noble because it was ingrained to me by by by by the capitalist robot pigs
well it was ingrained to me just by my parents just to put the fucking like when you go
grocery shopping and you're done with the cart in the parking lot like it's
not hard just to go push it in the thing well as a kid I used to kind of love
organizing them it's fun yeah like making sure it's all like stacked.
I'm like, why is it all messy?
I just don't like people that they finished with their cart and then they just leave it in the middle of the road.
I'm like, what are you doing?
Or leave his shit in the toilet without flushing?
Okay, it's about the same thing.
We gotta come clean. It's Luke. Luke keeps, Luke doesn't flush his shit.
No.
Hey, Luke!
Oh!
Oh! keeps Luke doesn't flush his shit no hey Luke sorry ladies and gentlemen you know
Luke came in and we wanted to keep the bid in but he chose to come in buck
naked shit running down his legs and we just thought one it was too obscene to
put on YouTube and ultimately also for the patreon people it's also too
obscene we just it's just like, I don't know.
We're not gonna keep it in, Luke, so please cut it out.
And cut it out in the sense of remove it from the video and also cut it out as in cut it out.
Because he thought it would be funny since we're talking about how clean he is.
He's like, what if I came in all dirty with shit, you know, dripping down my legs?
I don't know what he's been eating because obviously something in his diet needs to change. Regardless, you know, I did, you know, it
is Christmas so I decided to look up some fun Christmas facts. Really? Okay.
This comes from the reputable source, dalascitynews.net are you ready there's there's 10 facts
here I'm gonna go through them and I
want your reaction to each one of these
facts. I'm ready for these 10 Christmas
facts guys this is going to be a crazy
fucking segment maybe put some jingling
and jangling some sort of holiday beat
behind us
ooh let me put on my Christmas hat. Okay yeah put on the nice uh it's like an elf hat or
something right
yeah look at that and my Christmas hat it's like an elf hat or something right?
Yeah, look at that in my Christmas hat. It's like the Chris Kringle hat mm-hmm Kringle more like thanks man Matthew Kringle. Thank you um
Christmas fun fact one three billion Christmas cards are sent in the US each year what?
Christmas fact number two Christmas Can I just read a few of them and them? Because that first one was kind of a rough start, honestly. It wasn't that interesting.
Sorry, three million or three billion?
Three billion. Which is easy to...
There's not three billion people in America.
No, but think about like how many...
Think of a holiday card. A family sends out how many holiday cards.
You're right. You know? I thought you were actually like bullshitting me and
doing a bit when you said three billion. I was like, three billion?
Ooh, okay, here's one. Alabama was the first state to officially recognize
Christmas in 1836.
Oklahoma was the last in 1907. Fuck you, Oklahoma.
Fuck you, Oklahoma. You fucking suck. You rank almost dead last in education.
You're number 49. New Mexico's number 50. But fuck you.
It almost took you 30 years shy of a hundred total years to recognize
Christmas before Alabama. Ridiculous.
Yeah, it's disgusting.
President Teddy Roosevelt, an environmentalist, banned Christmas trees from the White House in 1901
Let me guess a liberal. Yeah. Oh, yeah
These aren't ten I know I said there's I'm just skipping through ones that are actually okay, okay?
Here's the last here's the here's the last one
Okay, here's three more. Okay. Thank you um
Approximately 35 million living Christmas trees are sold each year in the US.
More than 45 million are planted.
Ok, so that's a net gain of trees.
A net gain of 10 million trees. That's huge.
Um, White Christmas by Irving Berlin is the best selling single record of all time with over 100 million sales worldwide?
Beat that Taylor Swift. I don't feel like Taylor Swift. You know 100 billion or million
Taylor Swift's a billionaire, huh? Yeah, but doesn't that equate at some point through maybe not to not not a single song-selling
Or record selling does it but doesn't Taylor Swift's wealth?
Like equate to how good their music and how much artistic integrity their music has? It's not just slop. No, no, no. It's directly correlated to
artistic integrity. Like she is the most like artistically, like when you listen to a Taylor,
like hold up. Hold up one second. You can't play any Taylor Swift, Ryan. Well imagine if I did and
it was playing right now. Close your eyes. Hold up.
Now everyone in the audience imagine as well.
Mm-hmm.
I'm gonna give you some time to pick a Taylor Swift song and imagine it playing.
Hold on.
Three, two, one.
Now pick- yeah, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You wear shorts, Gertrude.
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
I wear t-shirts,
your cheer captainate.
Can't sing Taylor Swift on the podcast.
I'm wearing T-shirts.
No.
No.
No.
Dreaming about the T-shirts that I wear.
Wearing T-shirts all the time.
Those are great Christmas facts, man.
I think there's one more.
There's one more.
Hit me with one more.
This is the last one on the site, at least,
on the dallascitynews.net.
Christmas fact, last one.
All the gifts in the 12 days of Christmas
would equal 364 gifts.
Damn.
A gift for every day of the year.
Damn.
On the eighth day, you know, all that.
That's a lot of gifts, man.
I would honestly be pissed to be the recipient of those gifts because it is a
it's a lot of bullshit.
There's seven days of Christmas, right?
Twelve. Fuck. Because like five golden rings,
getting that seven times or whatever, like that's great.
But getting like 12 lords a leaping,
just men jumping. How many lords exist in modern day to make it that they're so abundant that most people
singing the song could find 12 lords?
And then what, do you just have to like house them afterwards?
No, hopefully not.
Put them up yourself?
I guess with unions created now you would probably have to house and feed them, probably
give them rights of some sort.
So it's bullshit, you know? But speaking
of Christmas news, this is huge and I don't know if you've heard about
this, but have you heard this good news about Saint Nick?
Not the news of the Lord? No. Jesus Christ our Savior? Well, kind of.
Archaeologists uncovered tomb of Saint Nicholas.
They just found Saint Nicholas's tomb.
Yeah, well, this is a...
Have they interviewed him yet?
Archaeologists have discovered what they believe
to be the tomb of Saint Nicholas
at the philanthropic Greek bishop
and inspiration behind Christmas icon Santa Claus.
The six foot long limestone sarcophagus was buried six feet deep within the two story
annex of St. Nicholas Church in Demre, Antalya, Turkey.
So a couple things guys, Santa Claus, canonically Turkish, and two, wait this has to be bullshit
because Santa Claus isn't dead.
No.
That's why, well that's why I was saying,
I don't think they're saying he's dead.
I think they just found his secret hideout
and that's why I asked if they interviewed him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like there wasn't a body in there.
Yeah.
That is crazy, they did find Santa Claus' body.
Like, last week, they actually just straight up found,
like, this is Santa Claus.
Yeah, this is, the researchers standing there, literally are like, wow, okay. This is Santa Claus. Yeah, this is, the researchers standing there
literally are like, wow, okay, this is Santa.
And we still can't get one fucking clear picture
of Bigfoot, which is, we found Santa Claus.
We found Noah's Ark, supposedly.
Also in Turkey, by the way.
That's not really Noah's Ark.
What, on top of Ararat?
Okay, it could be.
On top of Mount Ararat, in Turkey.
Okay. Noah's Ark is up there. Look it up. What, on top of Ararat? Yeah. On top of Mount Ararat in Turkey.
Noah's Ark is up there. Look it up.
I also forgot about,
cause at the time of the crucifixion,
they used, cause they didn't have
the medical shit of our time,
they had to use, you know how they used
like leather skin condoms back in the day?
Well they used leather skin catheters so he could use the restroom on the cross and they did
find an ancient catheter that has, looks like it has the imprint of Jesus's face
on it. Could be the holy catheter. What? Sheepskin catheter that they used when Jesus was on the was on the cross. Are you serious? Yes
Would you just piss yourself on the cross
Yeah, like if you have to be just shit and piss yourself
It would be run down the cross run down your legs
Yeah, I mean I guess you got maybe something to worry about maybe some people standing at the bottom of the cross like they're catching snowflakes.
You're like, oh, oh!
You know?
Kind of like when Luke just came in
with the poop down his leg.
Yeah.
But Turkey seems like there's a lot of lore
being discovered there.
No one's arcing on it.
Especially in November.
Yeah, so something's going on over there.
Get it?
Turkey.
Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, Turkey, like Thanksgiving.
I like that, I like that, It's in November. That's good. When the Native Americans and the Pilgrims came together to
hug each other and give each other smooches and share stuff and be nice and dance and
all that. They did the electric slide? That's where the electric slide originated actually was when the pilgrims and Native Americans came together
we just we just came up with the ending of a of a like a colonial Adam Sandler
movie oh my god dude like I could so see. With Terry Crews playing the
chief of the Native Americans. Why is there not like one of those because
because we really missed out then. He does do Native American bits in Bedtime
Story with Rob Schneider who does have a prosthetic hook nose and is colored red
and is tinted red a little bit. Rob Schneider is Native American, okay? Well I'm glad that
they added the hook nose, the giant hook nose, and then spray tandem to
somewhat darker shade as well. He played the part well. He played it
fantastic. I believe Adam Sandler wore a costume where he literally just looks
like it was from Party City, Native American of thing maybe I'm wrong. Well those movies don't have very big budgets
You know do you know how big bedtime stories but you the budgets are insane
He yeah, Adam Sandler was like the highest-paid actor at the time right?
Yeah, he still has those Netflix deals right now, too
Which is big money cuz he he has like a stand-up on that then he has the deals for the movies that he has like
Two that he already did with Jennifer Aniston the like for the movies that he has like two that he already did with Jennifer Aniston They're like murder mystery movies that he did and he did like this who be Halloween
He's done a shit ton of stuff for Netflix. Yeah, and I've given him that big money
I respect the Sandman's Hustle
He did the spider movie which I was excited to see and then nobody really said anything about it
So I was like, oh no, it's probably boring. I guess I won't watch it. I haven't seen Jack and Jill
That's one I've never seen. I don't think I'll ever oh I say never but I get that uncle sleepover exists
Which if any of you are curious uncle sleepover is an extra show we have on our patreon
It's fun, but that's not all we have in our patreon Matthew
What what else do we have in our patreon this beautiful Christmas season?
And every other month of I guess
on this beautiful Christmas season
and every other month of, I guess, of the season. Every episode of this podcast has a bonus, super mini show.
So if you are watching this Christmas episode
and going, God, I just can't get enough of this stuff,
I need another sloppy serving of this podcast.
Well, on our Patreon, there is for every episode.
There's a little bonus, extra stuff,
and if you look on screen right now,
if you're watching the video,
there are some names scrolling,
and what are those names, Ryan?
You'll see the names are separated.
You have the nice list and the naughty list.
The naughty list means like naughty in a good way.
Yeah, like y'all are bad.
Y'all are real bad.
So the naughty list is a bit shorter, which is probably a good thing. So know, like y'all are bad. Y'all are real bad. So the naughty list is a bit shorter,
which is probably a good thing.
So we have our nice and naughty list.
These are all the people who support the Super Mega Show
and we like to show them some love
by throwing them in the credits at the end of this podcast
because they help make this podcast a reality
as well as the other content
that we put on the channel.
That's right.
And if you wanna help support support us there are different tiers.
You can have the basic tier which is the $5 tier which you get everything on the Patreon
in terms of the content like the behind the scenes.
You get it all.
And then you can go up a tier more if you want.
It's the 15...
Yeah, producer tier.
You get your name in this episode plus you get stickers in the mail every month.
Mm-hmm.
We put some, put December stickers in. Look at these three holographic stickers you'll get in the mail if you sign up.
That's crazy!
Pretty sick! Uh, and then executive producers, uh, those guys, they're extra special.
And, uh, we send them, uh, like fan fiction we write about ourselves.
Um...
I haven't received any of that. Shh! We send them like fan fiction we write about ourselves.
I haven't received any of that.
Shh. You know.
Just go along with the pit, asshole.
Guys, Christmas is upon us.
I hope that.
Christmas has come.
Father Christmas has come.
Father Christmas has come.
And I hope that everyone watching right now
has a very Merry Christmas.
And I hope that you
you know spend some time with your family and maybe didn't just lock
yourself in your room and listen to YouTube podcasts or maybe and if you did
hopefully you replayed this one several times yeah the watch time probably
should go up a little bit needs to yeah well hopefully you know your family's
downstairs getting drunk being annoying you can go up in your room and shut the door
and listen to Super Mega Show
and pretend like you're hanging out with Matt and Ryan.
Yeah.
And if you're embarrassed, like you're gonna go,
I'm gonna go listen to a YouTuber podcast.
If you're embarrassed to admit that
or say that to your family,
then just say you're gonna go upstairs
and masturbate or something.
Yeah, say you're gonna jack off.
Yeah, I'm just gonna go masturbate.
They'll respect the realism there.
Yeah. And if you want, I'm just gonna go masturbate. They'll respect the realism there. Yeah.
And if you want, we can even do a little sound bite
that you can show your family.
So when they're like, what are you doing up there?
Be like, I'm listening to this podcast, check it out.
And then you can press play and be like.
No, just forget about it, nevermind.
I couldn't think of anything to say.
Merry Christmas!
And a Happy New Year! This podcast is brought to you by Aura, the most complete online safety toolkit.
2024 has seen a massive surge in high-profile data breaches, raising serious concerns about
the security of your personal
information.
Dell's breach exposed 3.9 million customer records, and Ticketmaster also faced a massive
breach compromising over 560 million records.
And most alarming of all, this past summer, national public data reported a breach potentially
affecting every single American.
2.9 billion records used for background checks were stolen and released to the public for
free.
If this all sounds pretty scary, it's because it is.
You've never been more vulnerable in the digital world than you are right now.
But before I keep spouting dark statistics and grim news stories, I'll share some positive
news. This podcast is thrilled to partner with Aura, who monitors the dark web for users' phone
numbers, emails, and social security numbers, delivering real-time alerts if any suspicious
activity is detected. And even better than that, Aura provides up to $5 million in identity theft
insurance, making sure you have a safety net
in the event of a worst case scenario.
Aura is a complete online safety toolkit,
which includes a variety of other features
to keep you safe online.
They have a VPN for secure browsing.
They even have a password manager to help you create
and store strong passwords and more.
I've already started all my holiday shopping
for my friends and family,
and I can rest easy knowing that Aura has my back.
For a limited time,
Aura is offering our listeners a 14-day trial
plus a check of your data
to see if your personal information has been leaked online.
All for free when you visit aura.com slash defense.
That's aura.com slash defense
to sign up for a 14 day free trial and start protecting
you and your loved ones.
Once more, that's a u r a dot com slash defense.
Certain terms apply, so be sure to check their site for details.