supermegashow - Pilot James | supermegashow - 032

Episode Date: October 14, 2024

He shouldn't be sending that sort of stuff to the passengers. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout we use. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://Shopify.com/super (all lowercase) Follow Matt: @matthwatson Follow Ryan: @elirymagee Follow the show: @supermegashow To watch the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/supermegashowYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/supermegashowpod If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/supermegashowpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And then she says, spit on that thing! Welcome back to Super Mega Show everybody. I'm your host, Matt Watson, and this is your other host, Ryan McGee. Welcome back to Super Mega Show everybody. I'm your host, Matt Watson, and this is your other host, Ryan McGee. And there's a big update since last time we've been around now. We were a bit late on the news as we probably will be for the number one, it reaches number one, but Talk2A at number two. I mean, we always have to do a Talk talk to update at the top of the podcast.

Yeah. You guys have been asking for it. Yep. It's like a new segment. Right. In fact, you heard Luke's little jingle that he made. It's all acapella. It's really good. Very impressive. I didn't know he knew how to layer different, I guess, different layers of audio to create like a symphony of, I don't know what to call it, a symphony of Luke's voice. I guess.

Yeah, I mean, he said that when he was younger, he was in choir and he was so good that they ended up going to like Sweden or something. I didn't know he could hold the note of spit on that thing and he goes on. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty impressive. Yeah. So. Yeah. Yeah. I know he's editing this podcast,

just going, ah, fuck. All right, well one of you guys is gonna have to help me record this. Like, I guess he. And then we're just like. Well, it has to be your voice. In Canon, in Super Mega Canon, it has to be your voice.

We already explained it, Luke. Yeah, and we don't have to help him record it because it's not like it's on camera necessarily, it's just audio. because Luke does genuinely have a really beautiful voice. I have still yet to hear him actually use it. Well, our audience actually will before you and I get to because he's always so shy about letting those pipes shine, you know? He actually did go to Sweden or Norway or something in high school

with his choir because he was so good at singing he had his own choir uh-huh he was the conductor yeah he was a savant in high school when it came to conducting he was crazy but he did so he's actually like very uh very talented when it comes to vocals but he refuses to let you and I hear well he's got to save. Exactly the right moment. Maybe, I mean, not even during Happy Birthday, I will say have I heard his true singing voice. He doesn't. Now also I notice that in general,

when people sing Happy Birthday, it's happy birth, it always comes from such a, such a like just a low grumbling register. It's cause he thinks that like, he he's gonna like no one's really gonna hear his voice so he's gonna let everyone else just kind of carry it and he's like happy birthday. I wish all people sung happy birthday like a loving mother on their child's like like they quit essential if you don't have a loving mother then this is the idea of a loving

mother. Right, you can experience it maybe for the first time from our show. They're like, happy birthday. Yeah, they're, you know, getting into it. Yeah. But no one gets into it for birthday songs. I wish that everyone like in the entire room would put the amount of effort into singing happy birthday that, like you you said a loving mother would. Everyone you know before the almost like an American Idol audition but a good one. Before the birthday party you know everyone is at home you know putting on their makeup looking in the mirror and they are practicing. Happy birthday.

Okay good good, good. Every now and then the birthday child, I guess, I don't know. In this imaginary, I'm putting myself in it, so the birthday boy. Birthday child. Yeah, birthday child. It is the birthday child's day.

Dude. What? I don't know just birthdays don't hit like they used to now it's just a it's just a just another it really is just another day I would say like up to this point well I mean your 30th was the last big one yeah Yeah. For ten years. Then 40 will be big. But I feel like 30 really is the last like, woohoo! Okay birthdays don't mean shit anymore. Yeah. No like you don't have the right to throw a huge party or? You always

do. No I can no longer have pool parties with a Pikachu pinata and a Digimon cake? Well you can, you just can't keep doing them at the water park because they have guidelines. I don't have a pool. Where's the most affordable place? It would be a water park. Not a public pool, especially in Los Angeles. When you had me rent out the water park area for the birthday party thing for your 30th they asked me what's the birthday boy's name I said Ryan and they said oh yeah and how you know we'll have a cake ready how old is he turning and once again just like the last like actually every time I had to lie and I said he's turning uh 12.

I mean you don't have to lie. Well yes I do because they cut it off, I'm pretty sure it's 16. So the world runs on money. I'm sure they'll take, it doesn't matter, it's just a birthday. No the world, well at least America runs on Dunkin'. And also they didn't do an Agumon cake by the way. It was a Charmander cake.

Which is a, but I mean This is the the water park they're not like cake specialists, you know, I put Agumon in all caps underlined Okay, well I told you also that you were just typing in your notes app and they don't actually see that I had to call Them and tell them and I told them Charmander Did completely different. One's an orange dinosaur with like an ember on the end of its tail and then the other one

is also like has like fire powers, but it doesn't have an ember on his tail. He's just a regular, he's just an orange dinosaur. I know. So they're different. I know, I know, one's from Digimon, he's just an orange dinosaur. I know. So they're different. I know, I know, once from Digimon, once from Pokemon, but I, that was my fault, and we've actually already had this conversation several times.

It's almost like you keep forgetting that I've apologized and you just keep wanting to. Not publicly, and if you haven't apologized publicly, then is it really an apology? No, it's not. So. Well, I'm sorry I Wish that was a thing you could like, you know in a in like family member disagreements The family members would have to upload like an apology video to Facebook. I

Hey guys, I peaked for Christmas this year I uh, hey guys. I peeked for Christmas this year. I know. Like an 11 year old having to make like a sobbing apology video. I went in the closet and I looked, I looked in the box where the presents were and I saw that I'd be getting Beyblades.

But it's a good thing I did check because they didn't get the right one so now they can go back and get the right stuff. No man if my mom caught me peeking I'm not getting that present anymore. I peeked I still got the present but I got the whole like it really did ruin Christmas that year. It ruined Christmas? It like ruined the vibes. The vibes were just off. They were because like it came Christmas day it's Christmas morning the whole family's just sitting there awkwardly my dad knew cuz like this was a I think if I can recall correctly it was the jump that I made

from having a tube television to a to like a flat monitor is this the one you got in seventh grade? Yeah. That has just been passed around and I believe is still in someone's possession? I think so, yeah. Because I ended up with it, you had it. And then you passed it down to someone else who passed it down to...

I believe it's still going. Okay. It's a TV you got in seventh grade. It is. It's like an old flat screen. We used it, we used it, is it, we used it when we started Super Mega. It's what we had in the living room.

Right? I believe so because I brought the TV out. But I can't remember if, no, I brought the old one out because that's all I had. Because before, I had the tube television, which is what I played like Halo 3 on and like a lot of the early Xbox 360. Like I had it for a bit. And then I got this for Christmas and I peaked

and saw it before I could have been gifted it. How did you peak? Like were you, did you like wait for your dad not to be around and then you snuck in? I always got home before my parents because I would take the bus and like the bus I would get home at like four and you know a typical work day doesn't end to like in between I'm guessing like five to seven

depending on where you work. Well for us one p.m. Yeah. Flash to us like here at two a.m. Essentially, yeah. Dude, when I sneaked peeks, I know I wasn't supposed to, but I have a very specific memory.

This is when I was- That's the only time I peeked though. Really? I learned my lesson. That's it? I learned my fucking lesson. Was your dad like, how did he know you peeked? I think he had, okay, there's one of two things

that one is he told the truth, or one is that he didn't want me to know the truth, He had, okay, there's one of two things that, one is he told the truth, or one is that he didn't want me to know the truth, and so he's being a little sneaky. One is he's telling the truth and he set some sort of tape trap on the door or something. Oh shit. Like CIA tactics. Yeah, and then the other one is like he said that just kind of had a

feeling had a father's intuition went I know you went into that room right and then all of a sudden he sees the guilt on my face. Right he said you know I think if he was certain he'd say I know you wanted that room. I don't know the exact quote. Well like parent phrasing. Hey but I do if he was certain, he'd say, I know you wanted that wrong. Well, I'm paraphrasing. I don't know the exact quote. More like parent phrasing. Hey. Right? But I do remember he was like, it's just, it's just, that like,

the general, as I said, I'm not verbatim, but the general sentiment was like, that just, that just really sucks. And it's really like, I was excited for you to have a fun Christmas. I'm not mad at you. Yeah, the classic. I'm just disappointed.

Yeah, the classic. Because I worked really hard to save up for this and I wanted to see your face light up. And he did. He wanted to see your face light up Christmas morning and then you ripped that out of his hands. I did. Because he couldn't, now when you open it

and get excited, he knows he's just like... I mean, what's the point? He already saw it, you know? I was still very thankful and apologetic and I never did that again. You know, it really felt like I was in my own sitcom. That felt like a sitcom episode. Yeah, where you learned that lesson.

Mm-hmm, and I did, I learned my lesson. I would sneak into, I remember, it was at my first house that I ever lived in, which was this little one story brick house that was built in the 30s. So it was designed to like. You go on describing it only to figure out, I'm like, bro, did you live in a chimney?

Like yeah, it was this. There was all this soot everywhere, all the time. The floor was made out of wood. And there was all this soot everywhere all the time. The floor was made out of wood. And there was this metal thing that was just really really sharp that you had to step around. Essentially though, the way it was built was like you would walk in and then go down a hallway and then at the end of the hallway would be my parents bedroom. And I don't know why I mentioned it was built a hallway and I don't know why I mentioned was built in the 30s because that has no bearing on how the design of I thought it did and

Then I realized this because it was originally probably established in the 30s It's not working off of 30s architecture in terms of like stability Yeah, anyway, it would I go in my parents bedroom and they had a closet that from what I remember, okay, sorry, I was like thinking back to specific things. Boring. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait, wait, let me redo it. I'm bored and so is the audience.

Anyway, I go in the closet when my mom is not around and I know that the- Put a poll in, in in chat who's bored that's those are the computer sounds of the votes coming in but I thought I was being clever and I found where the presents were they were already wrapped you know I did I I wanted Thomas trains, you know? Like what I really wanted was like two or three Thomas trains and I saw the shape of these presents and I'm like I bet those are Thomas trains.

I just picture it's wrapped like literally like this silhouette of like a steam engine. Like a cartoon, it's like perfectly around the chimney and like the smokeestack and everything. But I had a feeling and I peeled the paper as in not like, I didn't like open where it had been like folded over, I literally ripped it and I looked and I could see where I ripped it there was the plastic

and inside the plastic I could see that smiling face of a Thomas train and I was like, oh, and I was like, shit, my mom's gonna, well I didn't say shit because I was a child, but I said, shoot, my mom's gonna know that I looked at this. So I got a piece of tape and I just put the piece of paper back and taped over it. So if you look at the present, it's like neatly wrapped

and then there's a huge piece torn out and then just a piece of tape put back over it To put the piece back on your mom called that out. Oh, yeah, she was like Matthew It was kind of the same thing she's like she's like I know you were peeking at the Christmas presents and Made me feel real dumb for that that little method but I did feel really really bad and She did this whole thing where she's like, it was a real problem.

I peeked more than once on one occasion throughout the years. And my mom said, all right, new rule. If you peek, it's going back to the store. The only other quote unquote peeking I ever did, like I never actually saw the presence naked and unwrapped like I did that first time Or that that one time but first time That's why that's why I corrected myself Matthew, but I remember it would be like

Whoever got up first. It was their responsibility because when I was younger a lot of the times on Christmas Eve, my stepbrothers and stepsister would all, my step siblings would all be together, and whoever woke up first, or whoever stayed up the latest, depending on what that would be, would get everyone else up.

We'd go down, and we we take a look at like the different because the way it was set up for our Christmas is there was separate piles yeah so you know mine would be up to the roof and then they'd have like their couple presents and orange and some walnuts yeah in fact actually there they shared a pile the wonder of waking up Christmas morning and you haven't seen the tree yet and then like you're the first one up and and you either you know you like you sneak down and you you see the glow of the tree and then you're like when you see the presence for the first time God it was that that magic is

so pure and it sucks that I will never feel it again. I mean you could be a 30 year old man that still believes in Santa Claus, but I don't know if you have the balls to do it anymore. Do you have the balls to still believe in Santa? It's like Jesus asking, there's some part of the Bible where he's basically saying, do you have the courage to tell them that you believe in me when they ask? Same thing. It's like, dude, I wish there was a story in the Bible that involved Santa Claus with his reindeer. Like he has to come save the day. Like while Jesus is doing the 40 days and 40 nights in the desert or something,

like Jesus, like, like, Jesus like like Saint Nick comes by but they're pals but in a way he's like still I can ride you out of this no problem we'll go back share a cold mug of hot cocoa a cold mug of hot cocoa I appreciate it I appreciated Saint Nicholas but I must do my due diligence Saint Nicholas children of the Lord Look at a Bible story about fucking Santa Claus and his reindeer They beckon my blood to be spilled wait Wasn't there's that movie

There's that pure flicks movie about the not on watch stuff like that. Oh, yeah There's that Pure Flix movie about the... No, I don't watch stuff like that. Oh, yeah. The Pure Flix. Pure Flix sounds like a board like... Pure Flix with three X's. Yeah. We should...

I wonder if PureFlix with three X's dot com is taken. Might have to start it. Might have to start the first Christian porn website. You were about to say something before that. I was gonna say, they made that movie that we're like, it's a school shooting and the kids are asked the shooters are asking people do you believe in God and then when they say yes they shoot them and I'm imagining that same movie but they're asking do you believe in Santa Claus and it's

about the courage of standing up in in the face of death and saying I do believe in Santa I do I do and when the. I do. I do. I mean the shooters go, oh, everyone starts chanting it and they're like, oh, oh, shooters start to sparkle and float up in the air and all of a sudden like an invisible, like you see a shadow start to bounce around and a shadow like pants is then they go, oh, oh, oh, he has like, he has like a hearts on his boxers and they're pink. Everyone's laughing. Dude, you know these tropes of these like old movies just so well off the top of your head, like the boxers being exposed. Dude, no one has the guts to end a school shooting movie like that.

Like a fully like gritty serious school shooting movie. It's violent, it's like shocking and then it ends with some magic shit like that. Like it's pantsed. You missed, I was saying unless they put us in the director's chair. I think we could make it happen. Direct it, write it. We have so many good ideas. And a school shooting movie that ends with like

a Peter Pan reference essentially. Not essentially, it is, it's, I mean the shadow whenever, it's a Peter Pan reference. With some magical hijinks. But it's like Remember Me, or whatever the fuck that movie is with Robert Pattinson, where it ends with 9-11. It's like a big surprise. It doesn't end with 9-11.

Well, yes it does, but you don't see them hit the towers. It just shows him in the tower, and you're like, oh. Yeah, and then you're like, uh-oh. And then you see on the chalkboard or whatever, whiteboard there, you see the date is September 11th. And that's when you're like, uh-oh. Well, regardless of getting off track and debating that, I think it would be similar.

100%, and everyone would talk about the big twist in the school shooting movie. Where it's like, I was not expecting it to be in the Peter Pan verse, in the Panoverse. I seriously like I the whole movie I was on the edge of my seat I almost threw up because of the graphic nature of the shootings and then just out of left field man they just I did not expect that written directed and starring super mega you and I play the shooters they still have a long way to go in terms of the pictures of Native Americans though.

Still not has has not changed since the Disney era. Yeah, but the rest of the movie was like fantastic and ignoring those depictions. We were trying to stay true like us in like an interview on just like uh CNN. We were trying to accurately depict what we grew up with as kids. That's our nostalgia. Well, it's a school shooting movie though? So I mean, it's nostalgia really. Is this the place for that?

Shut up. They cut the feed and I would love to go on a CNN or just any news interview with you where it's the type where we're in our own little box staring straight at the camera. We have to debate someone, like it would be on Fox the camera. We have to debate someone, it would be on Fox more than like we have to debate someone about our movie. Because that's where, what is the,

maybe, or was it Entertainment Tonight? Remember there was like a Quentin Tarantino interview that he was doing with the lady. Cause it's fun, Jan! That was almost E, or Entertainment, where it's with him with Samuel L. Jackson, that one one where they're all sitting and like the directors chairs around each other the way he's like I'm rich bitch and they threw up a gang sign and I Can't tell if you're joking. No

Joking. Yes. I mean I've seen clips from that And then throw up a gang sign. I don't know. It's Tarantino, I could see it. It is true, he does code switch pretty frequently. I know, it's very sad. You know what I'm saying, dog? You know, cuh? I wish he code switched between more than just like, I wish he added in more, like he would switch to like a Hispanic.

Well take him to a Mexican restaurant, or honestly a Taco Bell drive-thru. Yeah that's the most embarrassing. As you know, tries to order in Spanish, broken Spanish and he's doing the accents. Yeah you still can't take your dad to a Popeye's drive-thru. Oh heaven forbid. I learned my lesson the first time. He starts talking with like a Cajun accent.

No no no no I, I do declare. There's a, in one of the Christmas tree videos we did, and maybe it was, the guys get a Christmas tree four, it was, there's like a, just a clip where we're walking through the Christmas tree lot, and it's just like a quick cutaway to you, and you're just, you're like sucking on a candy can, and you're doing like-

Foghorn Leghorn? Yeah, you're doing like this Cajun Creole accent. It's Foghorn Leghorn, dude. Sorry, my- No, no, I'll say, I'll say. It's so funny. It just, I think about it like every now and then. It just pops in my head just like,

no, no, no, I'll say, I'll say. Now you know who Foghorn Leghorn is. Of course I know who Foghorn Leghorn is. Yeah, it's the big say, I'll say. Now you know who Foghorn Leghorn is. Of course I know who Foghorn Leghorn is. Yeah, it's the Big Bird. Okay. Yeah. Not from Sesame Street. No, no. It's the Big Bird. God, dude.

Every now and then, my heart feels the nostalgia of like, I can, I picture myself watching like, old Big Bird and Snuffleufagus, and I have a like a, Dude. There's like, you know, you get that aura of nostalgia the same thing happens I've said this multiple times when I think of that like the 1993 or whatever it's some 90's Barney Christmas special where he

Sorry I'm just remembering the premise I don't even remember sorry Barney takes a bunch of kids to the North Pole without their parents knowing or any permission slips being signed. I just realized the no permission slips part. Well the early 90s was a different time. Let's go to the North Pole! So uh where Barney... so how was school today? Barney... Barney... who's Barney?

Wait... he took you out of school? Where'd you go? The North Pole. What? Yeah, I got lots of candy and I got to see all the elves and I got to see Santa Claus. He was this old man with big bushy white beard. Just the parents going, uh-huh. So Barney took you out of school.

It's like, uh was Nelson? No no no he left early with several other students. What? Was this a field trip? No he was picked up. They're all signed out under Barney. Oh man yeah different time man. But that is the premise Barney takes a bunch of kids to the North Pole. I miss when you could do that because god forbid you know last time you and I tried to pick some kids up without, you know, the permission slips and just signing them out in the middle of the day. Take them to a restaurant because we're trying to be nice and do something for the community.

Everyone loses their shit. We went to church and, you know, we heard a sermon about charitable works and, you know, we couldn't think of anything more charitable than providing joy to a bunch of kids. Where do you find a bunch of kids? Yeah. School. So, ads. Here's some ad reads.

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Mean we didn't get Well the charges were brought down from felony to misdemeanor. So Maybe we maybe Luke should just cut that part out. I don't know. Anyway, we'll come back from the ads now whoa Bada bing bada boom You guys enjoy those catchphrase. That is it's something I've been working. I heard you I heard you trying it out in the restroom Yeah, I'm working in the mirror. Whoa, but a Bing Bada boom Bada Bada bing bada boom. Woo!

Bada bing bada boom. How'd I do? Bada bing bada boom. It's a tongue twister. Bada bing bada boom. Bada bing bada boom. Woo! Bada bing bada boom. Fuck. Woo! Bada bing bada boom. I heard, like it was great. Dude, I mean, you actually kinda just nailed exactly what you heard in the bathroom. I went on a little longer than that, but uh. Well I had to consolidate it for the audience. How'd I do? I think you nailed it.

I didn't slip up, I didn't trip over my letters. Hammer, nail. Nice! Nailed it. Okay, that conveys it very well to me how you felt about it. Thank you Whoa, Pataping, but a boom, okay? Just just the once was good sure you just like a Think of like Iron Man 2 you don't want so much of Iron Man so quick or else it's gonna come out sloppy and rushed

Well, it's not I don't think it's not people you are do you think there's a possibility that it could get like sloppy and rushed. Well, I don't think it's sloppy, but do you think there's a possibility that it could get overdone maybe, and people get tired of it, and it's like, here he goes again. Just give it some time. They learn their lesson from after two,

after they waited a good long time for Iron Man 3, and that gave people enough time to kind of, a lot of people would be like, Iron Man 3 is one of my favorite Marvel movies now, because they miss Iron Man so much. Well they saw him in the Avengers in Age of Ultron and little cameos here and there. Age of JonTron?

Do you think I should wait until the next episode to do it again or do you think I can end it with the catchphrase to? Maybe end it. Or we could. We'll see how it goes. We could oh what's it called we could paygate it or whatever the term is. Oh yeah that's a good idea so they

got what's the term? Paywall. Paywall. They could hear it once and then if they want to hear it again they have to pay money. Exactly. That's good that's good that's good. At least five smackaroons. That's good. At least five smackaroons. Or maybe we could, sorry, put it on its own tier. The $50 tier. We've been talking about doing a $50 tier. And once a month they get a video of me looking at the camera going, you know,

I do the catchphrase. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't wanna, yeah. Yeah, I don't wanna. Hey, I don't wanna talk shop on the cast. But yeah, not a Not a bad idea McGee not a bad idea at all. So what's new in the McGeevers? well Getting ready cuz I'm leaving soon to uh, and I have to say I

Yeah, sorry, I'm just like By our fans, time and time again, I'm always blown away by the understanding and generosity and kindness. I went on stream, because you asked me that question, I answered that question on stream, what am I about to do? I'm gonna go to a family wedding.

Right, because you're gonna be gone for two weeks. Almost two weeks. Almost two weeks. Almost two weeks. I'm gonna go to the wedding and I'm going to also take the time to see some family and friends in South Carolina because I rarely get to go there. So that's what I'm doing. And I'll be gone for a little bit,

which means we won't have a stream one week. And I have to say, listen to these words. I like how they're just taking turns And I have to say, listen to these words. Yeah? I like how they're just taking turns, taking expensive trips, most people wouldn't be able to afford and doing less and less streams. Must be nice.

It must be nice. Sorry, I read, I think I read that with a more positive tone. I think it is positive, right? They're saying it must be nice. Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry. Well, on reread I could see, I almost got like a facetiousness.

I don't think it's facetious. I think it's truly earnest. And I hope that you have fun on your expensive fancy vacation. I love that in their head, like me going home to go to a family wedding and see my family and then like friends who live in South Carolina who I don't see often

for a week and a half for like, I think I'm gonna be gone for 11 days or some shit like that. I don't think that that's acceptable. It's like, I like how it's described as, remember, my trip home to South Carolina is an expensive trip that most people in their whole lives would not be able to. Well, you know Irmo, South Carolina is the number one

travel destination for rich people. Oh, of course. It's a very luxurious area. Oh yeah. I think they're also. Downtown Columbia. Woo, Harbison. Nothing but marbled lined streets. Oh my goodness, Golden I think I don't town Columbia whoo Harbison nothing, but marbled line streets

Oh my goodness golden brick roads I think they're also referencing that I recently went to Japan for a week and you see that was that was not That was that was for my two-year anniversary and it was a promised trip for a very long time. So Gay Come on man. Like in community? Yeah, I know what it is dude. And I don't like that clip because it hurts my feelings because I internalized it. No, it's fine.

You know, I'm gonna enjoy some time off while you go on your little fancy vacation. I don't have to hear you call me gay. Most people work their whole lives to afford an American Airlines flight to Irmo, South Carolina. And you just take it like it's nothing. You fucking witch! whole lives to afford an American Airlines flight to Irmo, South Carolina. And you just take it like it's nothing. You bastard. I think you should rethink things though. That was the first time I've traveled since COVID, I think.

In terms of like a trip. Well, of course like. It's been like four or five years. I'm joking. That is like a small percent of our oh, yeah Yeah, like who like thinks in that odd way. We're not we're not we're not ragging on you guys No, we know we know most people who watch are our Regular people with a the chill. Yeah, see HIL right guys your chill

Show us in the comments that your chill Right guys? You're chill. Show us in the comments that you're chill. Prove who's the chillest in the comment section below. Have a chill off. Share a story of you or a friend you know being chill. Yeah, let's- But then it wouldn't be you being chill, it would be your friend. But if you love your friend, you might want to- They can include the friend in their story but guys, come on, in the comment section, let's have a chill off, let's see which listener slash viewer is the most chill. Exactly. If you're listening to this on streaming services,

just the audio, then we implore you to go to the YouTube video and maybe comment your chillest story. Because I wanna look through these with Ryan and I'd love to see how chill some of you guys can be. And I'd love to see who's the chillest of them all. And you guys can vote, you know, you can thumbs up people's comments and respond and go, damn, you are chill.

What are you doing? Drinking some water. Why are you standing up? Sit down. I'm just stretching my back a little. Yeah, you know how many people fucking wish they could stretch their back a little? Sit down. I'll just stretch my back a little. Yeah. You know how many people fucking wish they could stretch their back a little? Sit down, Ryan.

People pay five bucks a month for them to just goof off and stretch their backs while they're recording the podcast. The least they could do is cut that part out. Luke, cut it out. The least they could do is the that part out. Luke, cut it out. The least they could do is the bare minimum for a merch launch. Hey, listen man. I don't want to let these goobers affect the way we crack a lac and the way we throw it back. Wait, was that a Madagascar reference with Marty, the zebra?

No, I was in the hood recently and I heard some guys say that, so I thought it was cool, and I was like, I'm gonna use that on the show. I relate more to Marty than... Than who? I didn't grow up in the... Oh yeah, I'm the same way. I understand fully. But Marty? Fuck yeah. Yeah yeah Marty's pretty fucking cool, dude So was Marty McFly from a back to the future Marty McFly is pretty cool for a white guy

Come on. Yeah, he is pretty McFly for a white guy Was that that was a big song make fly for a white guy. That was a big song. Don't you wish we could go back to the days of America when fly, pretty fly for a white guy was number one on the radio. I love the thought of you being scared. It's like my fear of vomit, but it's just for when you belch. So every time I see you kind of like rearing up for a burpp I have to leave the room and cover my cover my ears and look away dude my my

fear of vomit has been returning unfortunately I don't know why but it has been creeping back up on me tell me about it why'd you say it like that like you don't want to hear about it I asked tell me about it. OK nerd. I'm going to pretend like you didn't say that. OK I'm going to just go. Dorkenstein. It's like Frankenstein but I put dork in front of it because you're like the Frankenstein of dorks. Dorkenstein. Seriously I'm the Frankenstein of dorks. Yeah. Where do you fucking get off man.

Don't. Don't man. I set it up by accident and then I immediately realized what I had done and I unset it. I Set it down Okay, so so don't even make a comment set your mom on the fuck up Do don't on my lap and bounce her up and down What in a sexual way? bounce her up and down. What, in a sexual way? Yeah, I would imagine. I mean it could just be like,

maybe bouncing her on your knee because maybe she's a little stressed out and it's like, come here. You know, she has fun. Nothing sexual about it. I don't know, she thinks it's like a washing machine. Okay, well that's not sexual necessarily. Yeah, my mom would go into the washing machine

all the time to do the laundry, of course. She would go into the washing machine? She'd go into the washer room. She'd climb in the washing machine with all the clothes. Go, all right, I'll be out in a bit. Shuts it behind her. Then next thing you know, clean clothes. And she was clean as well. Her hair looked beautiful and sleek and clean. Could you bounce me on your knee a little bit? If you want me to. Yeah? Is that all right? Yeah. I kind of just want to feel it. it. Yeah apologies for my bony ass, but okay Yeah, oh Ready yeah, see that oh

Right yeah, okay, but if you want to take a spin let me know okay, you want to expand. I'm good. I'm sure yeah Yeah, okay. If you wanna take a spin, let me know. Okay. You wanna take a spin? No, I'm good, I'm good. You sure? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was fun. I'm chill. Unlike our comment section.

Well, they better prove that they're chill. Exactly. Exactly. Are you guys more chill than McGee? Y'all have a lot to prove. To both Matt. I'm sorry, I know people hate when you burp into the mic. I didn't mean to, just, just you can watch if you play it back

It was unexpected. It was like it snuck up on me. I'm very embarrassed You know, I I can do it Matt, but for you to do it. No, it's different. I know For you, it's it's it's classic. It's funny. It's part of your care. What you do it. It's gross For it's not expected of my character. Exactly. You know? You're, you know, I'm supposed to just kind of, you know, ramble nasally and annoying for a while,

and you're the one with the gas from both ends. I'm the sweaty fat one of the duo. And I'm the sickly, scrawny, you know, nasally annoying one, so it's like, huh, name that duo. They're not expecting it from me, and they don't like it when they hear it. They go, ah, Jesus, and they turn it off. Sorry.

I interrupted you with it though, I'm sorry. Did you interrupt me? Yeah, and you stopped talking about what you were talking about because of my little burp. I had a lot more fun talking about the burp than probably what I was even going to talk about. Talking about how they need to prove that they're the chillest. Oh, that's probably where the idea can...

They still, I mean they still right now even have to, like maybe they're still, they're letting it ruminate a bit or maybe they're waiting to get to the end of the podcast because only the chillest of listeners make it to the very end. That's true. You know, I don't want people popping in because they hear, you know, on an online forum that, hey, you don't even need to watch the new episode. Just go in the comments and comment how chill you are. That's not clambering for watch time, making it a competition of their audience to see who's the chillest. This is just like Nazi Germany. Who's the chillest this is just like Nazi Germany?

They're on to us again We try we try to disguise the watch time thing is a fun contest and once again Been brought we actually like you me you may you go into Photoshop and you make like a banner. Okay, who's the? The chill off the chill off the super mega chill off. What is oh? The chill off. The chill off. The super mega chill off. What is? Oh, it's the, yes, the fish tank behind you. It made a louder crackling sound.

More like the piss tank. It is full of piss. Yeah, well we needed to fill it up a little bit and we didn't, we were out of filtered water. Yeah. So basically the fish tank that's behind Ryan. If you go back to the first episode where we had it, it was pristine and beautiful. It currently is half empty or half full depending on your perspective. It's your

perspective. It's how you look at it. It's the fish tank half full with a little bit of piss because the water level got a little bit below the filter. So what do we do? We piss in it. Very impressive too the way you were able to you know I was gonna take the fish tank down so we could pee into it But you did the whole thing where you played around with your penis for a minute to get it hard and then arced it The the piss stream up over into the tank. Well, you're not you're not even mentioning the the double stream I have to I have to edge myself to make sure that there's you know a Blockage of solidified semen in my urethra so I can split the piss stream.

Solidified pre-semen. Yeah, pre-semen. Well, I didn't see you ejaculate, right? Well, no. It was pre-semen? It has to stay, you have to edge so it calcifies and solidifies in your urethra so it can split the stream. Straight down the middle.

Yeah. Just into two perfect, like a fork in the road. I call it the Cobra. It's beautiful. It really is beautiful. What I, I don't produce pre-com nearly enough to do that. So what I have to do is, you know, masturbate until ejaculation, but then I have to put my,

I have to plug the tip of my penis with my finger. So the ejaculant just goes like a cartoon stick. And it goes whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. And then I wait a couple minutes until it hardens and then we're good to go. Seems like it's just a total blockage at that point. Well, what I do is I take the drill. We've got the drill.

Of course. It's the things for drilling pilot holes and I just go, through the solid semen. Okay. And it's the things for drilling pilot holes, and I just go, trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr A good visual gag. Yeah. You know, putting my finger in my penis hole when I ejaculate. Then it fills with cum and then you hold it there so it hardens and then you take a drill and put two pilot holes into the solidified cum that's also in your penis, but I'm guessing you've dilated the opening of your penis hole a little bit to get the drill in there.

Or maybe it's so thin. Because it's so thin. It's a very, it's one of the, it's the thinnest drill bit that comes in the pack of the pilot things. So, speaking of pilots, I also need to change the name of my iPhone back because every time I connect it to my car or try to airdrop something, I'm like,

Pilot James, the hell? And then I remembered on my flight recently, the captain at the beginning of the flight announced his name was pilot James. So I changed the name of my phone to pilot James so I could air drop people, things. Cause it was a full flight, it was like 400 people. You just need to go look up like

like Just Pilots taking dick pics like look at that Google in the bathroom with a plane Like just you're just chilling with some like 45 year old dude just Like drinking his little cocktail reading the news and it huh Imagine dude gets fired because he finds just airdrop, you know, a dick pic under the pilot's name. His name was James. Pilot James. Why do you, what do you, what, what, what?

He's the pilot. What does it matter? His old name? Just so people know. Do you want to see the pictures I was air dropping? Yeah, of course. Okay, there were a couple I had. Luke, put these up so people could see. There was this one. And there was this one. And then there was this one.

During the flight. Like mid-flight. See, this is all good fun. Like there's nothing like, there's nothing like weird about it. I thought that was that's funny. No, I wasn't being creepy or anything. For those who can't see, it was, it's just like Photoshop pictures of pilots taking selfies like out of the front cockpit window of the plane when they're like 40,000 feet up, smiling. I don't know why I just picture you sending

just some wonderfully back bent up, butthole shown, gooch visible. I'm surprised you didn't show some like. Dude, well first of all, that's like at minimum sexual harassment. I know I'm just happy that you know that. That I'm not blissfully unaware that sending grotesque anus and penis pictures to strangers is at minimum sexual harassment. Yeah, I'm very happy that the joke just ends at the charming pilot's out of the window of the plane. But because if I'm air dropping,

from the back, spread asshole, penis, this type of picture where you're pushing the erect penis through the back, so it's like sticking backwards. Yeah. You know, like, because if I'm air dropping pilot James Dick pics, you know, I can't verify people's ages through air drop.

So I could be like, uh, yeah, I'll send this one to Michael. And meanwhile, Michael is like a seven year old on his iPad, three rows up. So, you know, you see why I wouldn't do that. I'm just love this watching Cocoa Mellon and then all the sudden I know the line good good good good I know you know the line actors be like right hold on Joaquin Phoenix be like, I'm gonna walk on. Okay.

The line. No, I'm gonna walk. Well, I'm gonna be Joaquin. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I always got blasted by people for, I know. But it was for saying, they always said that I pronounced Joaquin Phoenix's name weird.

And now every time I say his name. Joaquin Phoenix? I say, I force that I pronounced Joaquin Phoenix's name weird and now every time I say his name Joaquin Phoenix I say I force myself to say Joaquin because I guess I would it would sound like I'm saying Joaquin Phoenix like he's a Joaquin Phoenix But no now it's one of those things where every single time I say his name it's I'm so what is this? What it's Joaquin Joaquin Joaquin? What? It's walking. Walking. Yeah. Cause if I say walking Phoenix. Walking Phoenix. You know, people get mad at me.

And I'm just, I'm tired of it. It sounds like a personal issue on their part. I think it is man, because I'm just out here living my life, doing my best. Why does it fucking matter if I say walking Phoenix? It doesn't. It doesn't, ultimately. You know, we're all just fucking pieces of meat

on a fucking little tiny rock going through space at like 100,000 miles per hour nothing fucking matters, you know in a hundred years Will be dead everyone listening to this will be dead unless you're listening to this in a hundred years. It's gotta be one person One person finds the archive of these maybe listens in 20 I don't know why, A, I looked at my watch and B, I had to do the math. 21, 24. Which by the way, if you are listening in 21, 24,

you still should go in the comments and submit your chill off. There's no deadline. You can always take the crown. Yeah, at the last second. So you know, because everyone that's competing in the chill-off is dead. Yeah, and up votes aren't necessarily.

Up dudes. Sorry, up dudes aren't necessarily a positive. Those aren't votes. Right. An up voted comment, because then people like, Jack's films could come in and try to be like yep hey guys I'm super chill right or whatever yeah and then like he gets a bunch of up votes and I don't know I feel like that would be unfair it would

be like then he would win the chill off just by default of being popular which is why we you we made the rule where up dudes don't determine winners. It's more on the chill vibes. I feel like you and I, we can detect the chill vibes so we're going through the comments and we'll see some fucking jackass like JacksFilms saying that type of shit.

Or one of those channels that has a check mark that has like, I don't know, 10,000 subscribers and they make like Roblox content and then they comment on every video so they can, they're doing it for promotion so people see them. And this is not targeted at anyone specifically. It's just a thing you see on YouTube a lot. It is targeted at Jack's Films though.

Very targeted. So I don't want people like him or little Roblox YouTubers coming in and taking away the opportunity to be the chillest from some truly chill individuals. Exactly. So if it's 21.24, you can still submit your chill off submission in the comments, okay? Because we might be long dead at this point.

We've been dead at this point for 30, 40 years, who knows? But our empire might still be continuing. It might be growing still. We might be bigger than Disney, we don't know. At this point, yeah. We might hit, you know, we've been working all this time and who knows, a fluke happens when we're in our 50s and we just become the next big thing like Disney.

Could become the next Jacks films. Disney's so in right now. Disney's in. Disney doesn't ever go out. No. It is in. And that's a big, you know, I think a big lesson we could learn from Disney.

I think we could learn a lot from Disney. More of us could be like Disney. More of us could be like Disney. More of us could be like Disney. We could kind of follow their rules. In fact, I really admire something they did recently where a guy was at, I think he was at a Disney park or something like that and he got injured or something very bad happened to him

and he wanted to sue Disney. But because he had a couple years ago hit I agree to the terms and conditions of his of his Disney Plus trial guess what he couldn't sue them because they had slipped that into the Disney Plus trial into the terms and conditions where it's like you won't sue us if you if some you know for any reason so really so like whoever's a Disney Plus member just can't sue Disney I don have some, you know, for any reason. So. Really, so like whoever's a Disney Plus member just can't sue Disney. I don't know what the specifics are,

but he was basically unable to sue Disney for something because years ago his Disney Plus trial, he clicked the terms and conditions except, so. God damn. Dude, sneaking shit into terms and conditions is very, it should honestly be illegal. It's the reason, it's the main reason why terms and conditions is very it should honestly be illegal It's the reason it's the main reason why terms and conditions exist like it's to sneak shit in there. It's not you know, I Hate doing to protect the company. Yeah, I hate booting up like a fucking video game

and then I have to because it happens a lot, where you boot it up for the first time, and whether it's EA or Ubisoft, whoever the fuck, a page comes in, it's like with the right or left stick, you have to scroll all the way down and accept. And it's like, why do I have to do this just for a fucking game? It's liability. Because a lot of them also, I guess, yeah.

Just if it's like, is it also just like, you can't sue us and shit, I guess? I mean, is it also just like, you can't sue us and shit I guess. I mean if we give you epilepsy, I don't know. It's just literally like a legal way for them to be like, all right, let's cover all of our bases and also let's make sure that we can collect their data and sell it with their permission because they checked the box.

Oh that's another, yeah they do. That's really I think the biggest thing is so they can collect your data and sell it. Your playing habits, yeah they do. That's really, I think the biggest thing is so they can collect your data and sell it. Your playing habits, what you do. I guess the thing they want the most is what is selling, what's making the money. So it's like. Yeah, why cosmetics are people buying?

But even for games that don't do that shit, it just feels like, It instantly turns me off. It makes it feel more corporate and, well, real quick, let's go to ad reads, and we'll be right back. Okay. ["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"] Yeah, they played Star Wars Outlaws recently. Yes.

It started with us having to make, or I guess we found a way around it or some shit. I can't remember. Maybe we didn't. Who? Go watch the video! You had to make an account or some shit and then check terms and conditions just to play the dang Star Wars game. Yeah, I Just want to boot something up and go did you ever remember like, you know

Pop it in a fresh Nintendo DS game and having a fucking scroll through terms and conditions to press. Yes Uh-uh. No bullshit, dude. I miss when games came done, you know but now that no I when games came done, you know? But now that, no, you do have those rare kind of like no man's sky stories, but it is very unfortunate when a, sorry, I'm just getting emotional about this. When a game releases unreleased, not unreleased, it releases unfinished. Yeah. You can tell, and they then have like, for the next year, a series of updates that help fine tune the game

and take player feedback, and I love seeing that. I love seeing, you know, when companies and corporations listen to the consumer, that's always nice, and it makes the consumer feel nice and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The customer's always right. Yeah, but a lot of, Except for that guy on Reddit.

A lot of it's also just like, you also have to remember, there might have been, and for people like me who still don't get into No Man's Sky, there's like a level of disrespect that a lot of companies can just get away with. Where it's just like, I think Ubisoft is a big one

where they can release pretty games, but they're not having to release anything. I remember when games were marketed for more of their gameplay and stuff, and I think mostly now it's like, graphics and how good does it look? And brand new? How good does it run?

Star Wars. Yeah. Yeah, I genuinely do, I know, we're a couple of old heads, but I do miss, I don't know, like back before the current model of like, video game releases, it's like, all right, this game has to be as close to done as possible on release date. It has to be finished, there is no patch that fixes this. Yeah, yeah, like, all right, this game has to be as close to done as possible. It has to be finished. There is no patch that fixes this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. When a game releases, any bugs that are still in there now just become like... We'd have to update the app. We'd have to basically release a new version and actually like program it onto the cartridge or like make new cartridges. Yeah. So like bugs and stuff just became a part of games right stuff like that, which I loved I love bugs The time where you know a game came complete and then the bugs In a game kind of became features and almost Easter eggs in of them in of themselves There'd be few like there wouldn't be a ton of bugs They would just be like a handful of bugs that people discover over the years and they would be almost like endearing

It's yeah. Whoa, did you whoa, have you tried this bug? Monkeys be like. That was good. But did you, speaking of advertisers, I read this recently and I didn't know that this was a thing, but do you know about like the supersonic frequency shit apparently? Apparently like so your phone is always listening and stores, some stores and buildings will play a supersonic frequency that you can't hear but your phone can and it picks it up which basically then tells the advertiser that you have been at that store so they know

to target you more so it was something I read like a thread on reddit about it, and it was really fucking freaky, and I was like that's a thing I haven't heard I haven't heard that at all It's very scary and maybe you know wouldn't be crazy a podcasters started putting hypersonic frequencies in their podcast I know to make crazy make their viewers more chill for the chill off Or to make them all trans yeah what nothing just keep going what were you saying what nothing make them all trans I didn't say anything like that just we're talking about video games wrong

with that but why why would your brain go there that's what the government's doing dude oh they're putting out their turn in the friggin frogs gay the putting frequencies in all of your favorite pop songs. The science textbooks have giant black and white spirals in the word transgender underneath. You are transgendered. Yeah, if you stare at the word transgender too long, you start to basically go into this hypnotic trance.

I feel like some people on the right, they really do feel like the teacher's this malevolent, clawed, sharp-toothed being who's like... It's like dangling a pendulum, like, you are trans now! It's like, everyone open your books! They open the books and all of a sudden a bright light just... You are transgender. You are transgender.

Go home and tell your parents that's that's the videos they play on the smart board now it's just like a spy that is just you know spinning around and it's saying you are transgender go home and this is what they're doing to our kids what's happening in school nowadays and it makes me sick frankly and they're telling our kids Santa's not real it's fucking disgusting dude I'm imagining a, you know the whole trope of the dad finds out that the teacher taught something, like mentioned transgender, et cetera, in class,

and the dad goes, what? Goes down to the school to have a chat with the teacher all furious, like, you are not gonna say that shit to my son. I'm imagining that, but it's for, the teacher mentions that Santa Claus isn't real. And the dad, what? Imagine like a second grade science teacher just,

okay, we're gonna cut the shit. This is the real world, and science has no time for Santa Claus, okay? Yeah, sorry kids, I hate to burst your bubble or rain on your parade, but this Santa guy that your parents are telling you about, he's not real. Get with the fucking agenda. Honestly, I'm sure there have been controversies though

where teachers have told students that Santa's not real and it has caused quite the uproar. Listen, if they're telling a class of high schoolers that, that's fine, I don't care. Even though I, one is too old because I did have a class of high schoolers that... That's fine. I don't care. Even though I... One is too old, because I did have a friend in middle school, we're talking seventh, eighth grade. I don't wanna get into this, honestly.

Who still believed in... This is embarrassing for me. Because you believed until high school? Freshman year? I'm not gonna give any specifics. It's embarrassing though. But I had a friend who believed it. I remember in seventh grade or something,

he mentioned it and I was like, it's okay. Yeah, you've. Come on. It was just odd. I'm never too old for Santa. It's just. What?

How old were you? It's not. You're never too old for Santa. What grade were you in? I Santa. What grade were you in? I mean, what grade were you in where you like actually stopped believing? Or, cause like, did you just get the ruse going because you thought the... Eleventh grade. I'm kidding, that's a joke.

It was not eleventh grade. But was it? Probably not much better. Like seventh, where were you in high school? No it wasn't, it was older than seventh. Eighth grade? Do you still believe in Santa Claus in like seventh grade? Okay so- I guess you're like- This is embarrassing. Okay so- I guess what, you're like 11 or 12 or some shit like that in seventh grade? Yeah, okay so here's the thing about Santa Claus, okay?

Video essay. Here's the thing about Santa Claus basically I knew that Santa wasn't real see right yeah but you wanted gifts but there it wasn't that I wanted gifts I knew I knew I knew that you know my loving parents would still bestow upon me a present or two whether Santa was real or not, but it was more so, I had this specific OCD, like type of OCD when I was a teenager that made me like basically terrified of like growing up in the sense, it's really weird, but it was like basically.

I can't treat you to the Peter Pan thing, can't bring it all full circle. Exactly, no, and it was weird, and obviously it's something I got over, but it was this kind of weird OCD thing where I was very scared of losing my, I felt like if I, as soon as I grew up and got older, all of the fun and innocence of being younger would be gone. And I had severe OCD when I was a child and a teenager,

so it grabs onto the weirdest things. And I think it was more so that, where it was like, I knew Santa wasn't real, but I was scared that if I admitted that to myself then Christmas would no longer be fun. That's magical. The magic is gone. And-

Christmas is still fun. I think it's perfectly fun to be like, Christmas is definitely not as magical as when you were a child and believed in Santa Claus. It has to stop being that magical at some point because that's what makes it so magical is that it was that magical for a time and it's the time you can look back on and then if you have kids you can relive that magic all over again from the other side. Exactly same thing with like Halloween and trick-or- or treating and stuff.

That's what my mom told me. I remember my mom told me she's like, you know, when you have kids, Santa will become real again and you'll be able to experience the magic of Santa again. You'll be Santa Claus. I'll be the Santa Claus this time. I will be him. I'll knock him off my fucking roof and put a suit on. No, I'm the one who chimneys.

Bitch. I am the one who eats milk and cookies. Ah! Slay lightly. You think, you think a man drives a sle- rides a sleigh at night, lands on someone's roof, gets stuck in the chimney and you think that of me? No, I am the Saint Nick.

You know, I didn't have a chimney when I was younger. So I remember that always was, I was like, hey, mom, dad, how does Santa get in? And we had like, we had an old like, one of those like think tubes sticking out of your houses. Yeah, it was like above the stove It was like a range or something it the little like tube that stuck out of the roof like that much She saw Disney's

The Santa Claus then you would know that he sucks into them and can morph his shape to fit any opening Mm-hmm. That's what they told me was that like he can just he's magic it can just shrink think he uses that power during sex Yeah, 100% he's like he can go Down a chimney who's to say he doesn't do that with his penis to make it long of course Or you go all the way up. He's not adding. He's not madding it He's not adding matter so it does become more thin as he'll write in elongates it I think that was that was Newton's first rule was that matter is never created nor destroyed So that's your God

Or Santa or Santa, I don't know maybe Santa can bring matter into the universe But I don't think I think he stretches his penis and obviously it becomes thinner as you stretch something in length. So He probably does I mean he probably has some fun because I don't think Santa is necessarily, when he's erect, I don't think he's packing to the point that he's hitting the cervix. Yeah. So maybe he's like, ooh, watch this. Dilly dilly dilly.

You know? Ooh, okay. Stretches it, tickles the cervix, and yeah. We still got it. Thanks for joining us for this episode of the Super Mega Show. As you can see, there are names scrolling down. And we always got to mention them because scrolling up. We always got to mention them because it's nice to do so

because they're supporting us and they're showing their support through monetary support. Yeah, they're funding our expensive trips that only, you know, you guys could fucking dream of. They're funding my all-white suit, wearing an all-white suit to a wedding. Well, wait, you're not supposed to wear white to a wedding, right? Typically, no.

Okay, because I remember you and I went to a wedding. Well, you will be. What does that mean? Nothing. What does that mean? I don't understand what that means. That I got ejaculated on? Is that the joke

No that you'd be wearing the wedding dress or in a bridesmaid's dress. I see what you're saying. Okay My mind went get ejaculated on. I don't know. That's where my mind went first Anyway, uh you and I went to a wedding back in like 2023 shortly before creator clash. If it's me You'd be getting yellowed on for me about the same probably not even yellow, but more of like a, like you know when a book is really old, the color of the paper, it's yellowed. I love that.

I had a book called, I think this is what its name was, Black Beauty. About the horse? Yes, and they talked. Mm-hmm. The horse and some of the animals talked and stuff. Right, I never read it. I had an old copy of that book.

And it was my dad's and maybe it was even before him, but I just ended up reading it just because the pages felt nice to turn. Yeah, and they were yellowed and they have that smell. It's because they have acid in them and over time the pages something. Dude I remember Illustrated Classics they were the they were hardcover and it was like classic books like Black Beauty or Treasure Island or whatever and every single page had an illustration you would 100% know what I'm talking about. Luke throw one up on screen.

Are the names still scrolling? Maybe if there's enough yeah maybe they are. Illustrated Classics. I know you remember these dude. This is my favorite Patreon's mem- you remember these books? Yes. They had that that specific cover format. You know, Luke, you could take you could take the illustrated classic off screen now. And here's my favorite patron. You know, we do thank all of you, though, that support us on Patreon, because it really, really, really helps out. Does this give you nostalgia? I think I've shown you this. Let me see. Let me frequency. out. Does this give you nostalgia? I think I've shown you this before. Let me see. Let me freaking see. Oh yeah yeah yeah! Did you ever read this? Yeah and that same guy illustrated the Stinky

Cheese Man. Remember that book? Yeah. He illustrated that one. But this is what I remember also being We'll get into it on Super Mini Show.