Sword and Scale - Episode 94

Episode Date: July 9, 2017

Randy Stair secretly identified as a female for years. She ditched her given name for the pseudonym Andrew Blaze and also ditched the YouTube channel she had worked on for a large part of her life to pursue animation. The cartoons she created were dark, angst-ridden creations derived from an existing Nickelodeon character that she was infatuated with and believed existed in some otherworldly plain which she planned to be welcomed into after murdering three of her coworkers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you're listening to this episode after July 15th, there is something I need to tell you first. I contacted Skater who identified herself as a friend of Andrews, because I wanted to give our listeners another window into what else was going on through the killer's mind. I then asked Skater whether knowing that she had been friends with a killer had somehow impacted or changed her world view.

You may have heard the shock in my voice when she expressed that it hadn't. In the following interview, which I granted Skater after she expressed dissatisfaction with the first, I asked again, I got the same response. So I published the interview. Subsequently, Skater asked for the entirety of both interviews to be removed. I thought they were relevant to our listeners, so I declined her request. Then she updated her profile on social media and published an additional YouTube video claiming that she is autistic, which would explain her perceived lack of empathy.

Of course, if I had had any indication prior to contacting her, that she was indeed autistic, I would have never agreed to conduct the interview in the first place. It's not my place to diagnose people over the phone, only to ask them questions and listen and try to understand their responses. However, since all of this happened, more questions have been raised that lead me to believe that our listeners deserve to hear the whole interview. Hear my reactions, as well as skaters, and make their own judgments. The only thing I should say though is I'm mistakenly referred to Skater as he on several occasions, which I shouldn't have, because I found out after the interview that she identifies

as female. Had I known this up front, I would have corrected my inadvertent mistake. The reason we refer to the killer as male during the first interview is because that's how this person presented themselves to their friends and family, and only during the first interview is because that's how this person presented themselves to their friends and family. And only during the skater interviews do we learn that Randy Stair was transgender. And we refer to her as she and her from that moment on. As a storyteller, I thought that point was clear, but I can see now how some may perceive it as offensive to an already marginalized

community. So with that, here's the show. Sword and Scale contains adult themes and violence and is not intended for all audiences. Listener discretion is advised. People piss me off. I hate humans. I've always hated the human race. I hate people. I want to kill everybody. If you're new here, don't listen to this episode first.

Go back and listen to episode 93. It's part one of a two-part story. And today, that story concludes right here, the story of the wise market shooter, and the innocent lives she destroyed. On this season 4 episode 94 of Sword and Scale, a show that reveals that the war monsters are real. I'm going to be human? The very word humanity has two meanings, the first of which applies to us, the human race. The second definition is that of benevolence, compassion, and empathy for others. What makes us human?

Just having a set of similar DNA? Or is it how we interact with others? How we feel their pain? How we understand their pain, how we understand their feelings. When we last left you, we had spoken to one of Andrew's online friends. Someone named Skater Landau. After the interview, Skater texted me, seemingly worried about what he had said and how it would come across.

So I offered him the chance to explain. I mean, I don't, I don't really have anything on my mind. I was just wondering if we could redo that. Um, well, what is it you're concerned about? I don't know. I feel like my statements were very nerve-wracking, I guess. I should say that this is everything that I do on the phone is recorded. So you're being recorded right now. So just so you know. Yeah. Is this going to go anywhere? Depends on what you say.

All right. So like, no, I just feel like it was a bit nerve-wracking and some people might get the wrong idea. So, wrong idea about what? That's exactly what I want to ask you about. Like, wrong idea about what? I don't know. I feel like I should not have mentioned the whole research on the Columbine School Shooters thing because people might get the wrong idea about that. About you researching the Columbine shooters. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I don't think that's gonna happen. That's like just something I'm worried about. You know, I'm worried receiving enough crap. Are you getting shit from that other interview you did on YouTube? Um, no. No. Actually, I've been getting a lot of support from that. Okay. Where are you getting the crap from?

Um, just like the video I did, which is why I'm being like a well-constructed video. Okay. In the works right now, but yeah. What, when are you putting that out? The well-constructed one. Yeah. Should be out, um, either Monday or Tuesday. Okay. This is why I called you because I'd like you to respond to this part because I think that it's only fair. Yeah. The part that I think that people

might have a problem with is the part when I ask you, I forget how I worded it, but I said something about Basically like has it really affected me and right? Yeah Yeah, like I even did you see my text message about removing that I did but You did say that so I'd like to I'd like to understand what it is you meant by that. I don't know. I just have like a very different look on death and stuff like that. You know, it doesn't really phase me too much. And I didn't like the statement I gave off because it sounded heartless and it sounded like I could care less, but I do care.

But it's just that, I guess I was just growing up around a different type of way of life, I guess. I don't know. I feel like there's still something here that we haven't explored like It just it feels like it feels strange to me that you would say that this doesn't affect you Why why would this not affect you? I don't know like my entire life I was grown up around like horror movies and stuff like that. Yeah, but this is real life, man. I know it's real life, but like, I don't know. It just doesn't phase me.

I mean, I'm sure, I'm sure if I was physically in this situation in some way, like physically, I might, I would definitely feel something for this, but like... I mean, somebody doesn't have a father, somebody doesn't have a grandfather anymore, somebody doesn't have a daughter or a son. Wait, I thought it was two girls and one guy. There's an older man who was a grandfather and a father. There was two men and a woman, and a two two men and a woman and those both had mothers and fathers is what I'm so I thought I thought they were two women

what oh once again I actually still have my script out from the video I recorded earlier I have their names like right on the top but but that's not the point I mean it doesn't matter what who they were. No, no, I'm sorry. I'm just like, I'm just like, yeah, thinking real quick. My point is that there's, there's families and there's people around them that cared about them that, uh, they're no longer here. And like, how does that not bother you? How does that not like go?

I guess it's just because I didn't know them personally. So anybody that's outside your realm of that, you don't know personally, you don't care about. Anything could happen to them. I can die or whatever. I mean, I feel sympathy for people, but you know, like I care about people a lot, but but if you don't know them it doesn't matter. I just I just feel like death just doesn't phase me at all like it just doesn't phase me at all like I of course feel bad for them but you know I can't really explain myself I'm'm very bad at it. Sorry.

That's okay. I'm just trying to understand you. Yeah. I don't like that's why I'm doing the well constructed video because like I've, it's very hard to get these thoughts out properly especially with me. He calls it the well-constructed video and the more he talks about it the more it sounds like a terrible idea. I try to convince him of this. I make it very clear in the video that like as much as I talked greatly about Andrew, I do not condone anything that she did. I go into a lot of detail about how I've been treating the situation poorly. And then at the end of the video, I just have one single photo of her.

But you realize you're going to get a lot of hate for that, right? I don't really think so. I cleared up basically all the loose ends in the video and... I'm saying this because there's four people that are dead with families, with people that care about innocent victims that were shot for no reason at all in a supermarket at one o'clock in the morning. And you're making a video that has pictures of the killer and whatever it is you're doing like it's I probably I'm trying to urge you to not do that because you're going to get attacked for it. It's better than

what I have up right now where I literally don't address the situation at all. I had no knowledge of the people's names or anything like that. That's to me way worse than anything. Right, but the best thing to do at this point is to acknowledge the fact that innocent people lost their lives and and have some sympathy for that I acknowledge that in the video and I do I do I do say like I you know

I said something about sending positive vibe and stuff like that, you know that that means nothing I mean if you're gonna make a video about the killer With pictures of him and stuff like that, one picture. Okay. Well, I haven't seen it, so I don't know what you're doing, but what I'm imagining is not going to be good. I mean, I'll text you it like when it's done.

I'm going to be sending it to 50 trusted people anyways before I upload it. But like it's probably nothing like you're imagining right now. It's not at all in that realm. And plus the picture I'm using of Andrew is like a very old one from 2009. So why am I spending so much time on this? Because Skater Landau knew the killer, interacted with her one on one, became friends with her. One would think that even for the most jaded among us, the realization that someone you knew and were close to became a mass murderer taking the lives of three individuals would alter your outlook, change your perspective about the world around you in some way. At the time of this interview I had not seen what skater calls the well-constructed video. I have since then had a

chance to see it. He sent me a link to it after the interview and then texted me asking if I had seen it yet. The video features Skater standing in what looks like a little girl's room. There's a princess sign over the bed with zebra pattern sheets. Everything is either white, red, or pink. A logo featuring the name Skater fades in and then out as he explains that he hasn't gotten his porn across properly. So he begins awkwardly reading a prepared speech from his mobile phone as piano music plays in the background. At the end of the speech, a picture of Andrew Blaise appears, which seems to be a school picture, perhaps a yearbook picture. Then, amazingly,

a blooper or outtake of skater stumbling over one of the lines he's reading off his phone, he laughs and says, sorry, this is followed by a closing screen featuring his logo again set to silly video game music that sounds like this. I I guess when I watched it, you know, I didn't really look at it thinking of a killer. I thought, looked at it thinking of my friend. And it didn't really upset me in any way other than making me cry, you know, upset me in the sense that she's gone. But I guess I can't look at this in the same way as someone who is analyzing this killer.

But my video is gonna be nothing like that. This concern about you, I'm honestly concerned about you because you don't seem to have any empathy for anyone other than this person, this one person. Like it feels like you don't understand, like you have never mentioned the victims. You have never talked about them. That's what this video is for. Yeah, I didn't realize how poorly I was viewing the situation until the interview with Joy because Joy asked me

as one of the questions like, do you know the names of the victims? And I said no. Do you know them now? Yeah, Brian, Jesus, okay, I literally just forgot the other two. Sorry, I have bad memory. So you can understand why people would be upset about sort of your reaction to this. Yes, I can. I do understand it completely. This is why I'm producing this video. I do realize how I've been viewing the situation. I mentioned in the video that I've been focusing too much on someone who was my friend, then the situation. I mean, genuinely, there's a lot of thought put into this video. And yeah, there's another part of this of the reaction to this whole thing, which isn't about your lack of remorse for the victims, but it's also about your self-promotion, about your videos, and about what you're doing instead of about what actually happened.

What do you mean? I don't think I could be any clearer. It seems like you're more interested in putting out a video about this thing than the old thing that happened. I want to show my respects in some way, but like all I've gotten so far is just me fucking myself over by doing one video and announcing certain things. Right, that's what the reaction was about. I mean to be fair, the original video that I posted on my channel was completely on impulse and I did it right after I found out. Well, I'm not trying to use the situation to self-promote myself. I just feel like... But you can understand where that's coming from.

Yeah. And people were mentioning it in the comments to the interview and like they were saying, oh, you know, you came on here to promote your shit and your music and all that and it's like, no, I'm just like, I'm just announcing things, you know, like I have an upcoming song dedicated to Andrew and stuff like that and that's not me trying to promote myself. That's me just like trying to say hey the situation is what I came on here to talk about. I have more stuff involving the situation coming out.

I mean like you know like a part of me wants to be like oh yeah this was um this person was a monster, but my good spirit gets the better of me, and it's just like I want to respect my friend, and it's hard in this situation for me. So my response to that is that most people would say that your friend does not deserve respect. And so to give respect to someone like that is to take respect away from the other people that were affected by this tragic situation. I kind of see where they're coming from in terms of like trying to do any sort of tribute or any sort of video or any sort of thing that promotes or or pays tribute to the person that Killed other innocent people

Even if he was a victim himself or she was a victim herself however you want to phrase that yeah But but there was people that just went to work that day that never came home to their families. And so that's more important to me than the person that deliberately went there after planning this thing for a year and a half or two years or maybe five years. It depends. It doesn't matter when you start counting, but that's more important to me than that person's story. But you seem to want to tell that person's story, which is interesting to me. But it's also, it's going to piss off a lot of people. You have to understand. I don't know anything about the people who died. I know their names very poorly, but I do

know their names. Yeah. But I feel more for them than I do for this guy that went and shot them one day Yeah, I guess I mean like I I don't know you know that I just I have nothing to say about the people who are killed It's it's sad and that's all I can say I didn't I don't know them But you know Andrew I knew and That's why I have more to say about that, I guess. But let's say you go to the supermarket to get some food and somebody blows your brains out. Yeah. Yeah, and then your family's crying you're I don't know what you're living a situation

But your mom or your dad losing their minds or maybe you're I don't know if you have a brother or sister or whatever and there and it's just like this person died for absolutely nothing just because someone decided they were gonna walk a new supermarket Start killing people Is that not resonate with you? No, not really. How is that possible? I don't know. I can't really imagine my family ever being in that situation since I don't have the best of the family situation.

Your family doesn't love you? Nope. At all. They don't care about you. No, they do not. My mother is a whore and my father is a drunk who could give less of a shit about me. a whore and my father is a drunk who could give less of a shit about me. Unlike Skater's home life, by all measures it seems that Andrew's family did love her, tried to help her, grow up, and get a job, become a productive member of society. But Andrew didn't feel quite the same way about her family. Dad, I honestly wish would fucking kill himself.

He ruined my life. He ruined my fucking life. Can drop fucking dead. When all that high school bullshit started, it was inevitable. It was. I didn't want to deal with them ever again. Once I started having cloudy grades and all that and applying for jobs and it just I fucking hated them. Didn't even want to look at him. And once the full-time job started, like stuff started starting and all that. I was done with them. I had

enough. I'll never forget it. I talked about in one of the tapes. It was before I had the hospital job. I guess it was like July of 2014. He wanted to go out to dinner with me, which I thought was nice. You know, it got me out of the house anyways, so I'm like, okay. But I fucking hated driving with dad. I always hated going places with them because I could never talk to him about anything, because I never connected with him once high school started.

Jeremy did, I connected with mom, but I could never talk to him about anything. I didn't connect with him at all. With nothing. Besides football, that was it. So I would tell me to go out and say, I didn't know what the fuckin' talk about. You had to have the radio on. I couldn't talk about anything.

He'd try to make a small talk, but I'm like, this is bullshit. It's just, I'm your fucking kid and you don't know anything about me. You don't know how I truly feel about anything and I can't tell you that stuff. And then all he fucking seemed to care about was like me getting a full-time job and making money

and then trying to move out of the fucking house and start my own life and all this shit, which I knew I was never gonna do. And we went out to dinner the one night that it was overbrook. And we just went into the job talk. I tried my damnedest to avoid going into that. You know, they just started up, you know, like have you been applying anywhere? I'm like, well, yeah, but I haven't really heard anything. Like, well, you better fucking have something by the end of the year.

You better fucking have something by fucking October. And this is in the fucking restaurant at the bar. There's people on both sides of us hearing everything we're saying. And he's fucking almost yelling at my fucking face. Fuck off. Kiss my fucking ass! I didn't even want to finish my fucking dinner after that. I didn't.

You can need a fucking cock. It's all about money, isn't it? Guess what? Money's fucking worthless. Drop dead. I don't see why I was such a big fucking deal because I was still part time at the store. I was still making money, you fucking whore. I was making fucking money. I wasn't just sitting around doing nothing. I was virtually full time at the fucking store as a part-time fucking

worker. You goddamn cunt. And you make it out to be like I wasn't doing anything with my fucking life. Kiss my fucking ass. Andrew's message to her father is filled with nothing but contempt. I never forgot it either. It was burned in my fucking memory for months. You were worthless, Kant. The prime example of people I hate in this world, you think you know how it all works? You don't know what jack's shit.

You know what I didn't fucking blow your goddamn head off. Very easily could have, could have walked right into your room when you're about to fall asleep and blow your goddamn head off and then went to the fucking store. Very easily could have done that. But I didn't, because I wanted you to fucking suffer. And suffer hard. You're worth this fucking faggot. And it's not just because of the job shit. All through high school, all through college, all through post college. Fuck off.

You can fuck off. Honestly, sometimes I don't know what mom saw on you. You're worth those fucking faggot. Prime example, someone who could be nice and happy and easy going and joking one day to fucking you better straight out your fucking life the next. I thought I could be by polar too but good fucking lord. Anyway, I hate my fucking profession. I wanna quit. Find another fucking job. That's what you fucking tell me to do. You hated your fucking job for years. What'd you do you took it out in your fucking family?

Way to go. That's definitely the answer to all your problems, isn't it? Yeah. Hear that? That's me fucking clapping and applauding from the fucking heavens above. Fuck you. Andrew was 24, still living with her parents, still working part-time during the night shift at a grocery store, and spending all of her free time locked up in her room, making

cartoon animations for her YouTube channel, which had just a few thousand subscribers. It seems that Andrew hated the idea of responsibility. Throughout the videos, Andrew says again and again that she just wanted freedom, the freedom to do whatever she wanted to do, but felt trapped. Just the thought of being alive pissed me off, having to abide by the laws of the living and abide by fucking clocks and work and authority and having to make money and just being tied to a fucking leash, you know. I couldn't do it anymore.

I just couldn't. It's not who I am. I was never at home here. I never felt at home on this planet ever. And I knew someday I would have to end. And it's surreal to think that in a few days it will. It's very surreal, but like I said, I've desensitized myself to most of it. I've become comfortable with it. I've accepted it. And it feels real. As time has gone by like as the weeks I've

rolled down, parts of me have been dying and it just feels like it's, you know, it's real. And I just, I can't see anything beyond this year anymore. It's all black. I can't see the future at all because I'm not in it. Andrew's hostility was not limited to just her father. You know, last Thanksgiving, it was when I started to really start to show it. You know, I didn't want to deal with anybody. I just sat in my room and I worked on my cartoons the whole time. It was the unleashed the candy video. I was working on that.

It was meant to be out for Halloween. I couldn't get it done in time so it took me until like nearly mid-December to finish it. But you know, everyone's here and all that and I didn't see anybody on Thanksgiving last year. I just sat in my chair at my computer and animated the whole time. Just completely locked myself away from everybody else because I didn't want to deal with anybody anymore. I hated everybody. I still like grandma and pop up and all that,

but people piss me off. I hate humans. I've always hated the human race. And then especially when we have large gatherings like this, it pisses me off. I hate people. I wanted to kill everybody and you know you wanted me to be in mom you wanted me to be in photos and all that and I just said no. I just I got sick of being told what to do. I've

always hated being told what to do and I've always hated being told what to do. And I just had enough of it. I'm like, I'm gonna live my life. If I don't wanna be in family photos, I'm not gonna be in family photos. If I don't wanna participate in Thanksgiving, I'm not gonna participate in Thanksgiving. If I don't wanna get you anything from other's day,

I won't get you anything from other's day. Last year I completely locked myself away from that too. I didn't even see you that day. I fucking drove around for like two to three hours before I even came home after work. And I locked myself in my room and said I was going to bed. Didn't give you a hug, nothing. It's a no-one. This year I almost didn't get you anything again. I'm just fucking threw a few dollars in the freaking lottery, like ticket machine just because I don't want to have to go through it again because then you start getting worried about

me and especially now I had to really watch what I did. So I sucked it up. I almost didn't even want to go out for a freaking lunch that day. Glad I did, but I almost didn't want to go. It's just I didn't care anymore. I was done. It's just... I just became this evil...

dark... ghoul. And with each passing year it just got worse. How does this happen? How does this happen? How does this obviously talented and creative individual go down a path that leads to such darkness? In a video recorded specifically for her parents, Andrew describes an event that seemed to trigger this strange series of ideations.

It was the accidental death of an acquaintance. Apparently, not only could Andrew not handle living her life with its various responsibilities, but she seemingly couldn't handle death either. I guess the ultimate route of all this goes back to, I'd say, at the very earliest 2012, because that's when Tom Lynch died. I didn't know Tom Lynch well at all, but I knew him. He was in the class of mine and I was going to work with him at McDonald's when I applied there. And I talked with them a few times, you know, like during our activity period at high school, like during flex hour or whatever, you know, I talked

with them a couple times. And he was a great guy, great kid. And when I found out that he got killed in the car accident on the way to work or on the way to school, rather, that when mom texted me that saying that Tom got killed on his way to school, I can't even explain what that felt like, something just broke inside of me. And I didn't even know the kid well at all yet, something just fucked me up. And I'll never forget it, I was in my college math class, it was college algebra and the class ended, it was like quarter after two. And I saw the text when I got to my car in the parking lot and then I just froze like something just broke.

I don't even know like I just blew a fuse in my head. And from that point on, I was just fascinated by death. At the end of the semester, I got word that he died in a car crash. I didn't know at the time it was him, which was terrible. It happened in December. It was like a week and a half after the holiday break started. I showed you where it was. Mom, I showed you, it was like a mile and a half from the store, you know?

And people at the store were talking about the death of the kid that went to Tunkanek High School, and I didn't even know that that was him. So throughout the entire month off that I had, I had no idea he was dead. I didn't have him on Facebook or anything, so I didn't see anything on it. That was it.

That was the moment that everything changed, and I was never the same since. Literally something just short-circuited in my head, something completely broke, something shut down, and it just completely fucked me up. It was from that day forward. It was like, I don't know, I want to say like January 17th or something 2013 2013. And from that point on, that year, bad shit started to happen. And I was always skeptical about the number 13. I've always hated 13. I always felt it was unlucky. I never liked the number 13.

What happens? It's the most unlucky year of my fucking life. You know, that happened. I got word that Matt died. Pop-op-op died. And that was one thing, but that was just kind of like it was expected to happen. You know, the yard caved in on the well pump in the yard and all that and flooded the basement and all that. We can have after pop-up-hop died, totaled my car 10 days after I totaled my car, Jeremy totaled his car. And then when I had your Jeep at the

time I almost wrecked that in the snow almost hit a tree and I look one thing just kept leading to another to another to another to another to another to another at the end of the year my Mac fried by hard drive failed my graphics card fried 700 fucking dollars to fucking repair that one thing just, just one after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, after another, you know. Some of it is just stupid shit, you know, life shit that happens, but it was like,

literally the worst year of my life. And that's just when I just, I just lost control of everything. Like my mind started to get completely just... Dark as fuck. I just, I can't even describe it. It was the worst year ever. And that's when I just didn't want to be at the supermarket anymore.

I didn't want to work anymore. I don't want to get up in the morning anymore. I didn't want to do anything. I didn't want to get up in the morning anymore. I didn't want to do anything. I didn't care about anything at the time and I just, I wanted to just do YouTube videos and that be it. That was the only thing that made me happy. And I just, I didn't want to do anything And that's when Ember came back into my life. It was in 2013 around late March, early April. That's when she came back into my life. I looked up the episode again on YouTube and looked up the song again and then that was

just, that was it. From that point forward, she never left my life again, ever. I played the song pretty much every single day of my life and just fell down a hole of deep, dark depression and despair and nothingness into an abyss of just fucking darkness. I can't even explain it. And every day it just got a little bit darker. From that point forward until the day I died. Till the night I died, it just got darker.

And I liked it. That was probably the scariest part for everybody else was I liked it. I liked this dark place. It wasn't scary to me. It felt natural to me. It was, it was home for me. But this is just when things started to change with me in 2013. It I started, I guess you could say cross dressing, which is something you never knew I did. I was cross dressing ever since high school. And what would happen would be when you guys would go to your bowling leagues and Jeremy would go with you, which was every Wednesday, I would either film a YouTube video, you know, back in early high school, you know, 9th, 10th, 11th grade. I would pretty much always film a YouTube video

between 9th and 10th grade on every Wednesday when you would go out the door. So I would either film a video or I would cross-dress. And that's something I kept to myself my whole life. I never told anybody about this. And it's something that probably shocks you, but at the same time it's like that probably shocks you, but at the same time, it's like, well, yeah, you never had a girlfriend or anything like that. So, I guess it's expected. But the more I wore girl clothes, the more I felt like that was who I was. Like I felt like I was a girl. And I found out that I was. I was never meant to be a guy. I was just a female soul trapped in a man's body

in my whole life. And I couldn't tell you guys that because then that would lead to never ending jokes. And you know, you can't live your life like that. It's like, how do you live? And I wanted to get sex change operations and everything I really honestly did. But I knew it wasn't smart to do it

because everyone's your whole life. If it's botched or if it goes wrong and not everybody looks good after a sex change operation. And that's what I wanted to do, but I couldn't do it. And then I'm also like, well, yeah, but then that's not me, you know. I was put here in this body,

I'm gonna have to live in this body until I die. That's how it was. And I just, I always felt like I was a girl. Pretty much, I was always girly, you know. I just did my best to hide it over the years, but I am. but I am. Can't even explain it. Look at the posters on my walls. It's full of pony stuff. My little pony. It's a girl's show. Yet they call the guys who watch it, Brony's, which I was one. It took me until 2014 to... Now, yeah. Now, it was 2015. 2015. I got into my little pony, but It's mainly intended for girls and look at that. I got two pony posters on my wall, you know Randy Stair aka Andrew Blaze was a child of the internet Born into an era where YouTube startup means the freedom to explore your creativity as a career. It means that you can do what you love, rather than do what you're told, in a dead end

job for close to minimum wage. Randy is what is commonly known these days as a millennial, born in the early 90s. In her 2006 book Generation Me, Psychologist Jean Twenge attributes millennials with the traits of confidence and tolerance, but also describes a sense of entitlement and narcissism. A study conducted in 2016 found that millennials in the U.S. continue to exhibit elevated scores on the narcissistic personality inventory as they age. Finding millennials exhibited 16% more narcissism than older adults, with males scoring higher than average females. The study examined two types of narcissism. Grandios narcissism described as the narcissism of extroverts characterized by attention-seeking behavior, power, and dominance, and vulnerable narcissism described as the

narcissism of introverts, characterized by an acute sense of self-entitlement and defensiveness. Randy Stair's nine years of archives show a person who exhibits not only extreme narcissism, but a great sense of entitlement. amazing man I had to do everything which fucking animators can kiss my ass for that and Laura was nice enough to offer to look around see if she could find people who would do commissions for it and her groups and stuff to animate and like save your breath because I used the money I had for it I used all the money on ammunition I could still afford to do it but the way it is now that this is late in the game, I can't rely on people to get that done within 10 days, you know, with that short of a notice that's not gonna happen. There's no way.

Because that was the whole point was to do this back in fucking January, February, March to get it all out of the way, get everyone on board with what I'm doing. And, you know, you have all that time to work on it and adjust everything is needed. Now it's like, well, I'd have 10 days. That's not happening. There's no way. And for all I know, it could look like total shit you never know. So, I'm not even bothering. I have enough to do as it is. I'm not even bothering. The have enough to do as it is. I'm not even bothering. The anime is gonna fucking screw themselves.

Laura finally has been getting me the voiceover for the massacre video. It's taken forever. It goes back to me saying how much I hate relying on people. I mean Laura's okay. I don't mind Laura. I like Laura. I like her on people. I mean Laura's okay, I don't mind Laura, I like Laura. I like her a lot. She's great. But fuck, I've been waiting since March. Been waiting two months to get the opening voiceover section from her. I have not had the voiceover for her for the last two months.

I've been waiting for it. I only got three lines the other day. She got it to me, but it's pissing me off. There are several things going on inside the mind of Andrew Blase. She says several times that she feels trapped in the male body, and it even sounds as though she blames her family for not noticing that she was different, even though she does everything possible to hide this from them. As just every year of my life since 2013, I just felt more and more feminine. Can't explain, look at the bathroom, look at where my stuff was. You'll see there's a girl's venous razor there.

There's the skin-to-mit stuff that girls use to shave their legs and arms with. Every three days since like 2016, I've been shaving my arms and legs and entire body every three days You wonder what I'm doing in the shower for so damn long. I'm shaving my entire fucking body Wasn't jerking off in there but Nobody ever questioned that Which I don't know why I Hit it for the longest time. I I kept the the girl razor in my freaking desk over there

the longest time I kept the girl razor in my freaking desk over there. And I just got tired of hiding it. I'm like, well, they're gonna have to eventually know anyway. So I just started leaving it on the counter, but nobody questioned it, which I couldn't believe that shocked me. It's clear that her parents had absolutely no idea this was happening. Ever since 2016, I've pissed sitting down. I just want to think up leading to another and to another and to another. I mean, right now, look what I'm wearing.

You know, it's always been right on the ear and nose, but I've kept it hidden away from you the entire time. I've had girls t-shirts in my freaking dresser and my closet for like two or a half years or so. Leggings that's all been here, it's been my closet under my bed and the top drawer on my dresser. Run under your nose, you never saw it. And I just, I couldn't stop buying the stuff. I didn't buy much of it, but like I bought like I'd say three parasol leggings and two bras and like three t-shirts that were girls and it's just one thing I'll say is like that white stain on the floor like that splotch

you'll see on my carpet. That was an ember thing. I just, I wanted to make my skin as white as possible to look like her. I wanted it to be completely white. So I bought this, this body paint, which I was like, I don't even know what it was. It was like latex shit,

but like it becomes like glued to your skin and you a peel it off and I got on the carpet and then it got Fricking in my body hair, which like almost never came out at the time What little body hair I had at the time anyways, but That stuff never came off. It's funny Yeah, you're over there sleeping in here. I am at three in the morning covering myself in this latex shit. But this doesn't seem to be the main impetus for this path she sets down. After watching hours and hours of videos, you start to see an individual who was frustrated by her lack of success.

Tired of living in the shadow of other YouTubers and I'm sick of putting so much work into videos and not getting anywhere with it. I've said that about the gaming channel too, but I've put so much time into my videos and I've just been stuck the last three years and pretty much the same ballpark range of subscribers. It's just always been between 8,900 to 9,000.

And it's just not fun anymore. you know, 8,900 to 9,000. And it's just not fun anymore. YouTube was the funnest thing I had in my life. I wanted it to be my career, but that's not gonna happen. And just I think it's time for me to stop. You can see the progression into despair. So I'm at the point now, it's like, I don't give a fuck. time for me to stop. You can see the progression into despair. That's it. It's over. We need to career it over. My life's over. It's all over. Everything. Now it's just the waiting game. I'm just on borrowed time. That's it. I really wanted to go into it and pop right off if I wanted, but it's just humanitarian there. There's no point.

I'm gonna get the other two. It's gotta be Wednesday. That's the way it is. Plus, I don't have florist lines yet for the opening anyways. I think what I'm just gonna do is over the next week. Just keep digging through stuff and see what I can find and upload what I can to the media fire page and you know,

animate what I feel like it, which is gonna be never. I just I don't feel like doing it anymore. The mental strain from it all can't even explain it. It's really hard to explain. Like it's crazy because you're not physically doing anything like exercising wise except like your head. You're just thinking, but even then it's like I'm just mentally fucking physically exhausted today. I just look at the video it's like I don't feel like doing the same more it sucks it really sucks it sucks ass. That's what I like to do.

It seems that Andrew Blaise set on a plan for Stardom, even though she would only be able to enjoy it from the cartoon Ghost Dimension. Here she is practicing for her last scene. I'm tearing that wood apart, that's good. Get a close-up. Now see that right there. Could be your head. Holy shit.

Andrew was angry at the world. She hated everybody because they didn't love her. She was, by all accounts, an abject failure at being a professional YouTuber. This is demonstrated visually in some of her livestream videos, where she sits in front of her computer for up to three hours at a time, desperately hoping for fans to connect with. Perhaps the reason for her failure is that every single creative expression she ever made was derivative of something else. Something much more popular. Something that she put her particular spin on, which wasn't particularly good.

Embers Go Squad was a creation built out of an existing Nickelodeon character. But years before that Andrew had thrown just about everything at the YouTube wall, hoping something would stick. She had made a many horror film in 2012 called A Furby's Calling about a children's toy that becomes homicidal. This was based on a popular meme at the time, which portrayed the electronic toy which sometimes uttered strange phrases in its own language called Furbish and moved its eyes, ears, and beak in response to external noises as evil.

Other attempts at YouTube fame included a collaboration channel with her brother and their friends, called Fatass, a direct copy of the MTV Show Jackass, which features the protagonists performing stunts and pranks for attention. Before that, Andrew's channel Pioneer Productions posted dozens and dozens of live-action videos, many of which feature a rubber frog and other stuffed animals. She tried literally everything she could to get attention. But despite this, her channel never did get any traction with any sort of substantial audience. I'm not copying.

I'm not fucking copying. I've been doing videos for 4 and a half years and people say on nearly every video you're copying. Do you know what copying means? Do you fucking know what copying means? I've been doing videos for 4 and a half years and I swear to Christ every fucking video says somebody you're copying somebody. I don't care.

Go ahead and say it but make sure you know what copying is. Huh, fuck. I did videos 4 and a half years ago because somewhat similar to Fred. Does that make me a cop, you're a friend? No! Hell no! Now if I was pitching my voice, saying, hey it's Fred and running around all over the place, then yeah that's copying Fred.

But you're saying, hey it's Fred and he and I'm talking in a high pitch voice right now. Does that make me copying Fred, but you say, hey it's Fred, and I'm talking to the hype pitch voice right now. Does that make me copying Fred? No, do you think Fred invented the term pitching your voice up to do a video? Of course not. Nobody did, that's on YouTube now. Nobody did, but just because your voice has pitched up the image, you're copying Fred.

Oh my God, it does not. It's like in 2008, when I started just doing videos, that was similar to Fred, like I just said, people was under copying. It's 2009 I started yelling at my videos. Oh you're copying me. We're about 3 and 4. You're copying Damien. Just because I shout fuck.

That means I'm copying Damien. The Damien just eventually turned the word fuck as his own. No! It's been around forever. That's not copying. Now find a one alligator and I was talking shit to and it was talking shit back to me. Yeah, that's copying. Not talking to a frog or a whale.

That's not copying. Do you think Damien invented the imaginary video? No. People have been talking to random objects and movies for years. For a century probably. I don't get it. What the fuck? What the fuck?

Every fucking video. I don't get it! What the fuck?! What the fuck?! EVERY FUCKING FILL! Someone who would do anything for fame and feels entitled to it would not think twice about killing to achieve this goal. Yet despite this, Andrew's channel Pioneer Productions still has less than 10,000 subscribers. Her Embers Ghost Squad channel was taken offline by YouTube for violating their terms of service. The murder suicide, which occurred on the morning of June 8th, was nationally upstaged by former FBI director James Becomi's testimony before the Senate Intelligence Committee. By all accounts, Andrew Blay's formerly known as Randy Stair, failed at becoming famous in both life and death.

YouTubers have since posted several videos mocking this killer. It the families of the victims will have a void in the rest of their lives, left by this disturbed and misguided individual. These were the victims. 63-year-old Terry Sterling of South Montrose. 47-year-old Brian Hayes of Springville and 25-year-old Victoria Brong of Factoryville. Luckily, a fourth unidentified victim was able to escape and will undoubtedly have to live with the survivor's guilt of knowing her co-workers are gone

forever. People will judge, because that's what we do. It is my hope and the hope of everyone associated with Sorden's scale that Randy Stair will be judged on her actions and not on her gender association, age, or sexual preference. The actions of one individual are this episode of Sword and Scale. You can find out more at swordandscale.com in the show notes. We'll post links to all of the archived material. Join us on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.

And if you like the show, you can support us at patreon.com slash sword and scale. Until next time, stay safe. Thank you. you