Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S10 - Christmas Nibbles

Episode Date: December 23, 2020

To round off 2020, I invited a handful of our favourite Table Manners guests back for our very own little Christmas drinks do! (Via zoom of course ) I didn’t tell mum who was coming...hence the screams!! Who listens to Mariah Carey ‘All I Want For Christmas’ all year round?? Who missed out on a main role in the school nativity? Who normally spends Christmas in Norway & who’s going to be dressing the whole family in Disney PJs this year?Pour yourself a glass of mulled wine crack open the baileys, reach for the Terry's Chocolate Orange and tune in to find out. We LOVED recording this one and we think Yule really enjoy it too 😉If you can, here are some amazing charities to donate too this Christmas - Fare ShareMagic BreakfastHappy holidays everyone! See you in 2021!!(PS - this episode was recorded prior to recent government Tier 4 restrictions) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Warning, this episode contains lots of... Hello and welcome to Table Manners for a very special Christmas treat. What are we doing today, Mum? I'm not very sure, darling. What are we doing? Well, we're going to have a kind of drinks party, Christmas nibbles, with some of our favourite guests that we've had over the years on Table Manners. Who's coming? You don't know. We've kept it a surprise for you because we want, well, the reaction, the Lenny reaction.

So I know who's coming. I've invited people and it's kind of a surprise party for you, Mum. Great, darling. I'd have worn my best outfit. So we have eight different guests coming on, all at different times. Perhaps they'll cross over perhaps they won't. Anything could happen. It's a bit like, I feel like mum we're almost presenting comic relief. Do you? Without all the charity and stuff like that. Is that why you've worn a red jumper?

No I've worn a red jumper because it's Christmas now. It's Christmas darling. But we are about to try this it's Christmas nibbles with the wares Merry Christmas everyone. Let's Christmas nibbles with the wares. Merry Christmas, everyone. Let's go. Oh, my God, my favourite. Oh, hello, darling.

Alan Carr, you're first to the party. You're first to the Christmas nibbles. How are you? Are you usually the first to arrive to a party? No, I usually come in quite late, like to cause a bit of an entrance. Do you know what I mean? And a bit of a buzz. Of course. That's me. So yeah, I'm a bit surprised I'm first.

Well, thank you for coming on to our Christmas nibbles. Mum has no idea who's coming on. And so it's a bit like surprise, surprise, surprise. Just call me Cilla Black. How are you? What are you up for Christmas? I want to know what to alan carr's christmas traditions so we always my mum cooks we always have turkey we always complain why do we have a turkey because it's so dry then we drink lots then we have a row oh oh we all do

we all have around my mum after two disaranos turns into the hulk and then we try and play a board game cluedo you know monopoly and stuff like that oh that's a good idea maybe we should do that mom i don't think you or i have the patience for a board game i just it sounds too wholesome i have bought something this year from Sainsbury's. It's Pass the Parcel. It's called Pass the Sprout. And it's got present each layer of sprouts. How can you get different presents in a sprout? I don't know, but it's called Pass the Sprout. I'm going to have a go.

Do you know a good party game? Yeah, go on. It's called Baguette them off. What? Families stand in a long row with a baguette between your legs and you have to pass the baguette between your legs using no hands. And, of course, if you get one of those flaky baguettes, bits snap off. And it's really, maybe it's a bit wrong to do with your family.

Especially at Covid, so, yeah. Covid Christmas. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God, make sure you're in the bubble before you play baguette. Before you shove your baguette between your legs, darling. Does your dad make you have a game of football before Christmas lunch? He's stopped that now, thankfully. But, I mean, there was a time when I would get the question of sport board game,

football books, biographies on Gary Lineker and stuff like that. And I was like, come on, dad, that ship has sailed. I'm 44 now. I'm never, ever going to, because I remember once he said, it's my dream to see you at Wembley. I said, I went and saw steps. What more do you want? you at Wembley I said I went and saw steps what more do you want so would you say that potentially some of those sports related presents at Christmas were some of your worst Christmas presents Alan or have you had an absolute hum dinger um listen you know getting shin pads you know and then sometimes he would get me the cobbler's kit but my dad was manager of the football club so he didn't even pay any money and I'd have this top with up the cobblers in that's like you giving someone a cd isn't it jesse you know that was like me giving my own comedy dvd you're like how you haven't paid for this um i wanted to know other than the turkey the dry turkey and the

diserano is there anything that really defines your family christmas some kind of food that is just that makes it christmas do you know what mince pies i'm so glad that people have pulled their finger out with mince pies now do you remember because mince pies I'm so glad that people have pulled their finger out with mince pies now do you remember because when I was growing up they were very synthetic now they throw everything in it don't it there's a bit of zest there's a bit of orange oh there's a bit of cinnamon I love them now I love mince pies and that I've had one already today and that feels like my Christmas when I have a mince pie. And I like the ones where they've really given a shit. You know what I mean?

Like the Waitrosey ones. M&S, they put shit in it. Do you know what I mean? It's not just mint, it's shit. No, not shit, but you know, nutmeg. I'll tell you what though, Alan, the co-op ones are really great. No, I've never had a co-op one. And the Iceland ones got voted one of the best, I think, in one of those Guardian reviews last year. had a co-op one and the iceland ones got voted one of the best i think in

one of those guardian reviews last year iceland and co-op i know we all love a bit of m&s and waitrose don't get me wrong yeah don't knock the co-op or the iceland my husband won't have one until the first of december it's like this thing it's like he's doing lent before the first of december with mince pies he gets fidgety and then it's as soon as he's like a kind of crack addict. As soon as he gets to December the 1st, it's mince pies every day. He was drinking beer last night and it was midwinter. It's Christmas. He spends the whole of December.

I wanted to know, who did you play in the nativity, Alan? Believe it or not, I could not get a main role. I could not for the life of me. The bastards. I know. I wanted Mary. Obviously, we all want to play Mary. So, and I wasn't even like, I wasn't even like the innkeeper. But then I feel now that they've got a bit too secular nativities. My friend was telling me that her daughter played Gok Wan in her nativity. Gok Wan? Gok Wan.

Apparently Gok Wan's been shoehorned into the nativity at the school so everyone gets a good role. I'm friends with Gok, I must tell him. Imagine if someone is playing Alan Carr. Well, do you know what? The nativity's already got a big star. Oh, well done. playing Alan Carr. Well, do you know what? The nativity's already got a big star. Oh, well done.

Jessie, what were you? Oh, don't ask. I was Santa Claus. Oh, sometimes you were villager number three or number five. That was so depressing. But as a very pushy mum, I used to go and have a word. Oh, really? Yeah, she's so extra.

I'm very sorry. I know we're Jewish, but we would like to participate. My children are very, very good acting and singing. I mean, I think about it now. Mum, one of your proudest moments of me was when your Jewish daughter was singing Away in a Manger in the Christmas... You had a solo.

I did have a solo. You let me sing about Jesus. Oh, right out there, yeah. We do it all, Alan. What's your ultimate Christmas song? Can you say Phil Spector? He's one of those grey areas where you're like, that album is amazing, but I know he's an arsehole.

I know, but then I guess if we're thinking about the singers singing it, then we're really celebrating the singers, not Spectre. We are, we are, yeah. And listen, I love the Waller sound and all that. It's such a great album. Oh, my God. Which? Ella Fitzgerald, Have a Swinging Christmas.

I've never heard it. Wow. My God, amazing. I'll find it, Jess. Oh, I'll listen to that. It is so Christmassy. It is so Christmassy. It is so Christmassy. And there's this beautiful one about, you know,

and it's really slow and it's quite sad. And it's number 11, I think. Really beautiful lyrics. Honestly, when you're wrapping up presents, put it on. You can thank me later. Also, I will give you my recommendation, which is A Charlie Brown Christmas. OK. I'm writing this down, I'm writing this down.

I'm writing this down. It's so good. So it's a Charlie Brown Christmas. So it's like, you know, the Charlie Browns on the front and Snoopy's at the top of the of the Christmas tree. Yeah. And it's by Vince Guraldi Trio, the Vince Guraldi Trio. And it's really jazzy and gorgeous.

And it's just like it would i think it would be a perfect addition to ella fitzgerald's one okay i like felice navidad mom sorry are you are you from Barcelona? Barcelona. Feliz Navidad. Tell me a song that doesn't get in your head as much as Feliz Navidad. Yeah, it's true. You say that, you're still singing it at Easter on Pancake Tuesday. Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad.

What does 2021 hold for you, Alan Carr? Will we be able to see you performing? Will we be seeing you on the telly? Well, listen, I've got loads coming up. RuPaul's Drag Race. What? That's in the can. The second season or series, whatever you like to say.

Finally on tour. This tour that I've been working on. Oh, thank God for that. Which has been postponed three times is going to happen. 2021. Can't wait. Amazing. Thank you, Alan, for doing this.

We love you. We wish we could see you. Oh. And have a glass of wine with you. Oh, yeah. When's your podcast coming out? Can we talk about the podcast yet? Yeah, that's in January.

Yours is so funny. I think yours is going to be the first one. Oh, why is it so funny? So tell people that don't know about the podcast. We did your podcast as guests because we just wanted time with you. But it's also an excellent podcast. So just explain to everybody what it's going to be about. It's all travel based.

And they said to me, you do a podcast, Alan. What are you interested in? You know, I love travel and I have, you know what we're like with our jobs. We do travel everywhere. And it's just talking to all those celebrities and interesting people about their travelling. And I think it's going to be a lot of fun. Well, it is a lot of fun. We've recorded them all and they're great.

But you two were fabulous. And I even got some back clava, didn't I? You did. Oh, it was delicious, darling. And I loved your pitas with tarama salata it just hit the spot oh it was great and the two bottles of wine yeah was it only two i thought it was three it was it was a few i'm not saying i drank a lot but i started lisping when you say

alan carr merry christmas thank you for coming to our christmas nibbles Alan Carr, Merry Christmas. Thank you for coming to our Christmas nibbles and look after yourself and we'll see you in the new year. Kisses. Yes, thank you. Merry Christmas, lovely ladies. Merry Christmas. Bye, darling. Bye, Angel.

Alan Carr, I could see him every day and it would cheer my life up. You could bubble with him, couldn't you? I would definitely like to bubble with Alan. Just love him, so brilliant. Love him. Do you think he'll emcee my bat mitzvah? Yeah, he's definitely coming.

Oh, that would be fabulous. He'll definitely come, wouldn't he? He's invited, but... Who is invited, darling? You're all invited. How many people are we having? I think I may as well make it a festival. Well,'t be doing any other burgers i know i know everyone who wants to come to my public bat mitzvah okay well i've just had two mince pies i'm feeling really good to go

oh who is 10 minutes touring that's me can you hear me, Kylie. Yeah. Hi, we can't see you. Hello, girls. Where are you? You don't need to see me. Oh my God, we do. Just imagine I'm in pink and I'm looking really glamorous. Sparkly. How are you, Kylie?

I'm surprised you're not over here doing it with us, having a cup of tea. And a glass of wine. I know. I wish. What's your Christmas looking like this year Kylie well quiet I mean I would truthfully I'd love to be in Australia in the sunshine yeah I bet with my family so I'm just gonna have to put uh extra pictures out and you know connect with however we can connect and just buckle down how would it work though with you they'll they'll be having their christmas lunch when you're getting up to have your scrambled eggs or would they have

their christmas dinner and you'd be having can you can you eat together at all that day uh via facetime via zoom i don't have to what do i do okay so christmas eve here will be their morning so yeah i think i'll top and tailor their day i'll call in christmas eve here when they're up and there's going to be a bit of back and forward so then i'll call on christmas morning again which will be their christmas night but what what's great is i'm pretty sure i know what they'll be doing you know i know what aussie christmas is alike and it's Bondi Beach isn't it it is for a lot of a lot of Brits I don't think any Aussies can get on the beach at Christmas day because it's full of Brits but yeah we're uh my family's from Victoria so yeah they'll just be you know

cooking eating jumping in the pool and what's the Minogue Christmas traditions that you have on the table that people need to know about? Well, food, it's a mixture. Normally we've got a few ring-ins, you know, my parents' friends, one of whom is a fantastic cook, Kerry. She is brilliant. She always brings way too much of everything. So I think she brought a big hock of ham last year and pavlova

and little chocolate and i can't remember what they call it little chocolate and nut uh kind of biscuits i suppose florentines yes yeah i love those yeah so carrie rolls over with all of that her husband david rolls over with a few bottles of whatever and there's christmas crackers on the table so we all end up with the paper hats on our heads and yeah that's about it with some useless trinkets that nobody needs or wants but they all end up scattering the table do you ever get the barbecue out on christmas day yes oh really totally does this sound totally foreign to you yeah i love it sounds very australian to me i would say say my brother would be barbecuing.

My sister's pescatarian. She was vegan and vegetarian. So normally there's something else for her and anyone else who doesn't want to eat meat. But it's just one of those beautiful, lazy days. You kind of float from this to that. And then the prezzies, that happens when everyone's together normally a bit earlier than you had anticipated just kind of get out of the way let the kids get all their presents open and and go crazy i wanted to know kylie is there a particularly bad present you've ever had

been given or what all you've given on christmas that has really stood out? I actually have some guilt. My nana is no longer with us. I remember her getting me some bunny rabbit slippers and I think I was just being a, I was a teenager and I was like. Yeah, that wasn't what you wanted. What are these? It wasn't what I wanted, but actually it was so sweet. Maybe my best. I was probably about eight and I got a little camera like a point and

shoot camera and maybe a couple years before that I got a doll's pram which I ended up was like a collapsible doll's pram and I ended up collapsing it on my thumb that's probably why I remember it so well because I was screaming and crying um Kylie, what is your ultimate Christmas song? I've become pretty fond of It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, not only because it's amazing, but when I had my kind of Christmas shows at the Royal Albert Hall. I just love how that rolls off the tongue. Lovely, yeah.

Yeah, it was so much fun. I've done three shows and every time we would start the show with that song with the, you know, orchestra and choir and a ton of singers and band. It was just so grand. And it was this kind of announcement that the show is about to begin. So I do kind of get the feels with that one. Do you feel like you prefer, like you've been in London for so long? Yeah. Do you prefer a cold Christmas Christmas or do you kind of miss that Aussie heat I will always miss the Aussie heat the long days Christmas day just seems longer and it's the school holidays and they're on kids are on like a six-week break so it's it's more than Christmas it's you know weeks of your summer having said that because I am committing to Christmas here

a winter Christmas I can see why we need lights up because there's I mean yesterday I don't think there was I don't think it became light all day I was like better get more Christmas lights up yeah I want to know who's doing the cooking this year in your house it'll be paul and myself we're pretty excited about just you know cozy quiet thankful christmas and what will you be drinking will you get a bailey's out i will be having the km of course jesse because i also have the samples of the new chardonnay and pinot noirir. So it's, you know, call it a working Christmas. I've got to keep on talking. It's lovely, Kylie.

Keep tasting that. You've had a terrific year, Kylie, despite lockdown. It's been, your album's been so successful. What's next year got in promise for you? I actually don't really know. Album cycle will continue. We'll have more singles next year got in promise for you? I actually don't really know. Album cycle will continue. We'll have more singles next year. I don't have a tour arranged.

I mean, we couldn't. And I think there's going to be so many people who've had to postpone their tours. That'll be, you know, there's going to be really not much space. But I hope I can do some live performances next year. I've got to get in studio with Jessie. I put it on the Instagram. I'm sorry. I kind of basically. It's in. It's happening. It's happening. So that's 2021 sorted.

So that's happening, which I am wildly excited about. Me too. Yeah. I don't know. See how we go. If I can, by then, get back to Australia, that's number one on my priority by then, get back to Australia, that's number one on my priority list is to get back and see my family. But, of course, it's kind of complicated right now. But, yeah, I'm looking forward to that whenever it happens. What are you wearing on Christmas Day?

Oh, that's a really good question. What shoes are you going to be wearing? What outfit? Because now I know that your fans need to know about your shoes. Is there a sparkle going on? I haven't figured that out yet, but I will let you know. I'll send you a picture. I do want a picture. I imagine it's going to be very sparkly.

Bunny slippers. Bunny slippers all the way. Very sparkly and bunny slippers. It might start that way, but I'll try to get a little glamorous as the day goes on. Good. Thank you so much for joining us for our christmas party happy christmas love you too and have an awesome festive period and i'll see you next year for food and frolics absolutely book us in girl i hope so take care bye

well kylie darling i think she wants to be part of our family she's part of our family she is now I think yeah you know she's done the initiation she's been around the gaff a few times we've had her at our Christmas drinks yeah I mean she's in she's in yeah she coming to the bat mitzvah oh yeah I think we'll probably we'll probably present our first song yeah at my imagine if i sung at my bat mitzvah with kyle minogue that actually sounds like every gay man's dream every jewish gay man's dream fuck it i'm gonna do it we're gonna do it my mitzvah to you yeah yeah anyway that was kylie minogue just tuning in you know because basically forget about evgeny lebedoff whatever his name is from

the evening standard forget about his champagne and caviar drinks party this is where it's happening it's bloody in clapham yeah on zoom on zoom with all the creme de la creme oh my god mum imagine if you became like jonathan ross do you remember when jonathan ross used to have those halloween parties yeah and you wanted to go because it looked so fun. Yeah, it'll be like that here, darling, soon. Oh my God, you're like the Heidi Klum of Christmas parties. That's how I've always regarded myself, darling. Yeah, I can see. Heidi Klum.

Oh, Mum, get ready. Oh! Hi! Hi! Hello. Well, you just missed someone. Oh, no. That I think you would have really enjoyed.

Oh, I've missed them, so. We just had Kylie Minogue, babe. No! What do you mean, no? I We just had Kylie Minogue, babe. No! What do you mean no? I've just missed Kylie. I'm sorry and you were just one minute too late, my darling. No! Just come and live in our house. Welcome to the open

house. Welcome to the Christmas nibbles. Olly Alexander, how are you? Yeah, well I'm very happy because I went to the best party ever with you guys. Well, it is the creme de la creme babe I want to know how is the music going I know that you've been in a residential studio recording with our friend coffee who we love and detonate and oh my god he says it is so good oh oh Jesse oh that's such that's really nice of you to say that yeah i had a really really good time making some music with those people who i love they're so brilliant coffee what a talented beautiful man and he's you guys have been working together i

saw that's that's nice he's amazing he's amazing and i love him babes i loved your album what an amazing album thank you so much for giving us Dancefloor Joy Disco what a classy I mean you do this so so well but what a classy tasteful sexy just

what a record thank you but this isn't about me Ollie this is about you and your new music and your new TV show coming out on Channel 4

next year what's this oh my god this is huge explain to my mum I'm in a tv show it's called it's a sin and it's made by russell t davis who created queer as folk the tv show years and years not related to the band and he has this is his new tv show and it's about a group of young

people in their 80s uh meeting each other falling in love um set against this mysterious virus that arrives and threatens all of their friendships exactly exactly so it's wild so yeah that's coming out in january but it's such a great show i'm really really really excited for people to see it and then our new music um is coming out soon after that i believe and i'm so yeah really it's all it's taking some time but it's all coming together so I'm happy now Ollie I want to know what does Christmas day look like in your household who's cooking who's fighting with who and what's in your stock yeah where you're going first of all so it's always really chill Christmas it's me my mum and my bro

my mum's partner Kevin who's a diamond he'll come over for lunch and my mum me, my mum and my bro. My mum's partner Kevin, who's a diamond, he'll come over for lunch and my mum cooks and my mum's an amazing amazing cook and I'm like her sous chef. So we normally wake up and have like bucks fizz and scrambled eggs and then open presents and then start on

lunch and I help my mum basically. But she makes everything. She's like amazing. She makes me a nut roast bless her oh of course you're a nut roaster I'm a bloody nut roaster babe what are you hoping for Christmas just peace and goodwill for all humans do you mean that you don't want a present or a kiss under the mistletoe Ollie come on Come on. You're right. I need to aim higher. I need to really set my sights higher. Yeah, I know. Something higher.

Something I want. Okay. I would love, you know what? A kiss under the mistletoe would be wonderful, actually. You know, and that could happen. Are you seeing anyone, Ollie? No. Okay.

Can it happen? Christmas miracles do happen, Ollie. That's what I'm hoping for. To concentrate our Santa Claus. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to write my letter. You're being a good boy. Do you know what?

My mum always, she makes me things usually for Christmas. Like, she's, yeah, she's very crafty. So she'll make, like, last year she made me, like, a felt, you know, like, felt knitting. Oh, what is it called? Felt stitching. It's felting. I'm going to Google that. Don't go don't go no it's like felt all right what did she make it was a creature from the movie coco have you seen coco yeah by heck okay that's

okay okay okay amazing amazing film and the oh my gosh what's the dog's name in coco i don't know actually because my daughter always fucking turns it off halfway through is he a skeleton dog he's got wings look should i get it for you i'm just gonna show you real quick what's the dog called oh dante i've got it he's gone to get his felt dog darling oh bless him i need to see this okay so she made me this yeah oh my god yeah i know isn't that amazing crafty and actually i just Googled and felting is a thing. Okay, felting. There you go. That's really amazing.

I know. Isn't she amazing? My mum's so talented. So she makes things like this. He looks a smidge like Gromit as well. Yeah, yeah. That's got a Gromit vibe too. So I think she'll be making me something.

And then I love these things. So then I have them in my house. And I'm like, oh, hello. So what? Are you quite mad about Disney then? I wouldn't say I was mad about Disney. I loved Coco a lot though. Okay.

We watched it together and we just like cried and loved it. I know. Have you done Moana? Oh, I love Moana. I love Moana. The soundtrack. See, I love kids' movies. Like I actually love kids' movies more.

Were you in a nativity play ever? I was were you in the nativity play ever I was a shepherd in a nativity play I was see shepherd that's not a bad part I was a bit upset I remember better than being a sheep yeah why who did you want to be I wanted to be a wise man oh yeah that would have been cool yeah I thought the wise men were quite fabulous and you carry the gifts exactly they because they had the myrrh and incense. I love that stuff. That would have been great. What's your drink of choice at Christmas?

What really defines Christmas for you? Champagne. Yeah. Yes. It defines every day of the year for me, absolutely. Exactly. That's all I drink. That's my only drink.

Is it? You and Kat Deely What great company to be in You know who else only drinks champagne? Judi Dench So I got it from her Hold on, how did you get it off her? Were you hanging out?

Well yes, I know Judi Dench Because we did a play, I was in a play with her once You're kidding, Ollie Yes, yeah, yeah. So, you know, she's a pal, and she's the greatest, like, most fabulous woman ever, and she only drinks champagne. And I thought, wow.

You know, I mean, obviously she drinks water. Which Christmas song do you like? You know... Or do they drive you mad? You're not very... I don't love Christmas songs, I've got to be honest. I think my... Is that really controversial? No. I just i put magic christmas on as soon as it goes to first of

december i'm there labels ring we've already talked to we've already talked to um alan carr about the fact that we feel slightly dirty saying that we like the phil specter record because like are you allowed to say that still yeah but actually do you know what i do like felice navidad just so she can say yeah i love that no there's some great listen there are some box yeah but i love last christmas i mean that's that's iconic yeah wow has some like that's an iconic christmas song i do love rocking around the christmas tree as well like the little retro moment which version

the fun jazzy one Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree yes yeah is that what I'm thinking of yes yeah

and it's in Home Alone when it's raining in Florida it's on yes so which is your Christmas film

Home Alone I have to say it's like also The Holiday love The Holiday I do as well it's on yes yes so which is your christmas film home alone i have to say it's like also the holiday love the holiday oh you are i do as well i've watched it already yeah watched it already yes yes you agree they're not making any new ones like that i feel like the cotswolds after that film basically got bought out by americans that wanted to like move to the cotswolds because it's so quaint it's carmen

diaz's fault so how does the year kick off for you is it the russell tv t davis tv show yes yes so that's coming in january so i'm kind of like popping my head up now saying hi come watch this TV show please it's really good good and yeah and it's going to be on Channel 4 here in the UK

and HBO Max in America and the rest of the world so I think this is so big I know HBO right I think it's like Sex and the City vibes

which I'm very excited about yeah definitely yeah you're Carrie Bradshaw this is you exactly Ollie thanks for doing this aw thanks for having me it's been the best I love you both so much yeah you're Carrie Bradshaw this is you exactly Ollie thanks for doing this

oh thanks for having me it's been the best I love you both so much oh I hope you have a lovely lovely Christmas you too loads of champagne thank you

loads of nuts and roasting and loads of felting and I may watch Coco tonight with my daughter just so I can see Zante the dog

Zante yes but yeah good luck with the show and the new music we can't wait to hear it's going to be a danceable moment yeah so it's a dance

up it's an up up piece it's up tempo can't wait to hear so thank you so much for having me Oh, I love Ollie. I love Ollie, darling.

The best smile. He's gorgeous. Such an enthusiastic, lovely, warm human. I want Ollie's skin as well. He's beautiful. Very beautiful. Best teeth, best skin, sweetest person. Let's have a glass of mulled wine and a piece of Christmas cake.

Was it too early to open the champagne? No, Mum, we've been having a party. Ollie's inspired me. A dry party we've had, not like a usual party. I didn't need much inspiration, but Ollie inspired me. Oh, here we go. Ah! Hello.

It's Cheryl! I'm so excited! how are you good nice to see you oh my god babe you're exactly like how Dolly Parton was when we saw her you've got the Christmas tree not exactly I mean less of an ample bosom but I thought I would put the Christmas tree in the back it's gorgeous stunning how are you babe I'm well how are you I'm all right put the Christmas tree in the back. It's gorgeous. It looks stunning. How are you, babe? I'm well. How are you? I'm all right, thanks.

We're all right, surviving. What's Christmas looking like for you? Quiet, I think. Yeah? Just probably be me, me mum and Liam. I reckon that would be about it. What's Bear Arse for for Christmas? He wants a Spiderman bake.

Okay. Doable. Yeah, very doable. And he wants Paw Patrol stuff stuff jesus that bloody theme tune cheryl every morning you know what's crazy because his birthday was in march during lockdown i feel like christmas has been nearly every month because in drips and drabs people have either sent his gift or then they brought it when they could you know when it loosened a little bit so every month someone's

brought him something from his birthday so what's he getting on christmas day he's getting a hug um who's going to be cooking is your mum going to be doing the roast because i remember you talking about your mum's roast was it your mum's roast and the goose fat and the goose fat yeah my mum makes a great roast um and liam normally does the meat on christmas is he any good at it really good at it actually really good at it, actually. He really, like, puts his all into it, yeah. But I think this year I'm going to have it later in the day because I always aim for, like, 1, 2 o'clock lunch and it drives me crazy

because the minute you get up and open the presents and you're on to lunch, then you're like... Then once you've done lunch, you feel kind of like, oh, well, the day's kind of done. So what time are you doing it this year? I think more 4, 5 later. Yeah, I think we will, won we will won't we i know but you remember when we've been to our friends before and they eat at like eight o'clock and we were like oh my god we're dying dying it's a bit leaked isn't it if you have a nice breakfast yeah and the presents and then you like can just

grease throughout the day can't you what's your traditional christmas breakfast well i still like to have just something easy like avo and scrambled egg or something like that but for if i have normally i have quite a lot of people then i'll make fried bacon and sausage and that stuff oh lovely what's been the worst christmas present that you've ever received i kind of like everything you know yeah so you're a good person No, because it comes from somebody's heart, even if it's not what you want. Remember that, Jessie. Cheryl, come on. Isn't it though?

No, not with Jessie. I don't think I've ever looked at anything and thought, oh God. I may have re-gifted something. Oh yeah, re-gifted. So you're a re-gifter. I love it. Yeah, fair enough.

Repurposing. Jessie, what was your worst? Okay, should I tell you my my worst okay did i give it to you no no no no i was on holiday with my now husband um we were in thailand and we'd gone away for christmas together and i think it was like 2013 and christmas day arrives and i'm like merry christmas babe waiting for the proposal I thought he was going to propose to me like I'd given enough then I don't know like 28 but we've been going out since we're 18 so like and he pulls out this tiny box and I'm like oh shit it's about to happen in Thailand oh my god this is dreamy he gives it to me I open it it's the smallest portable speaker

that's ever existed in the world and he was so proud of himself he's like oh for tour babe what is this shit i was so i was terrible i was you actually say that to him of course i definitely threw it in his face i'm terrible you're a monster it was like that monster but if you had that level of expectation yeah that's understandable i don't know if i would have thrown it at him, but I would have felt the same. Yeah, because you're a nice person, Cheryl. I want to know, what is, like,

the Cheryl family's Christmas tradition? What really defines Christmas for you, whether it's food, a song, or a drink? Okay, so Home Alone, the movie. Oh, yes, Kevin! Lost in New York. Both? Yes!

And now I play them back to back. I think the original I always play first, and then when I get tired of that, like we've already been playing it for the past two weeks. I love it. I think it's because more so it reminds me of when I was a kid. Yeah. So that, definitely.

I love mulled wine. Have you had a glass yet I have yeah and then what's a kind of what's a food thing that your family will always have forgot to say and I love everybody to wear the same pajamas on on Christmas Eve night on Christmas Eve okay fine yes so you wake up in them and you open your gifts to them and then you get showered and ready are they Christmas pajamas though yeah tartan theme or like this year we're going to have Disney ones. This is very sweet. I feel like you should get Pete and Tessa.

Sorry, I've got things to do. Hello. I need to see his gorgeous face. Are you being nosy? Yeah. Are you being nosy? What are you doing? Oh, you're a bit of a cutie, aren't you?

Oh, my gosh. How are you, bud? Say hello, then. I hear that you like Paw Patrol. Who's your favourite? Is it Skye? Do you like the Christmas tree that Mummy's got? Mm-hmm.

You're a bit of a cutie patootie, aren't you? Mm-hmm. Are you cheeky? Yeah. You are? Yeah. Is Father Christmas going to come and see you? Is he coming down that chimney?

Yeah, he'll come down the chimney. Shouts up the chimney what he wants. Oh, he shouts up what he wants. That's what you should do. Can you sing a Christmas song? Yeah. Go on, tell me. Which one?

Do you know Jingle Bells? Mm-hmm. You ready? Should we do it together? Yes. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh. Hey, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh. Dashing through the snow. Oh, wow. Well done, Baba. Very good. Are you going to be a singer like your mummy and daddy? Mm-hmm. No.

Cheryl, thank you for doing this. No, of course. I needed to get some festivities, you know, some spirit into me life. It's nice to see people, isn't it? Can you imagine the last time we saw you, who would have known that we would be in a science fiction film? Who would have thought?

Oh God, that looks lovely. Oh my God, you've got hot chocolate with actual marshmallows falling out. Nana, me mum, hot chocolate. Oh, isn't she sweet? Cheryl, you love Christmas. It's like you're fully embodying. You've got the hot...

It's my favourite time of year. I'll make you one. What makes it so special for you, just being with the family? I think it's family, isn't it? It's nostalgia. Yeah, it's just closeness. I feel like the energy of the world gets peaceful and it doesn't do that any other time of the year.

You're right. So what, you don't have any family fights on the day over the turkey or anything like that? No, I mean, there's always family dynamics, isn't there? Yeah. I just like to keep it up. I don't know, it always feels like an up day for me. And then Boxing Day I like, it's peaceful,

but then I can't stand the first week in January. You know that build-up, build-up, build-up, isn't it? From like October all the way to christmas and new year and then it just like pops into a stillness i'm sorry it's bear again baba oh no it's all right well listen it looks like bear's got his kit off now and he's ready to run around and climb the christmas tree i'm loving it it's brilliant cheryl thank you for doing this merry christmas it's been so lovely to hear about your Christmas traditions and to get to meet your little one I hope you have a fab fab fab fab Christmas thanks love thank you it's happy and it's all positive and we'll see how

many arguments um but lots of love and hopefully see you soon. Lots of love. Lots of love. Kisses. Bye, babe. Bye, darling. So Cheryl there with her. Jessie, she is so, she takes my breath away. She is so beautiful. And her living room looks very serene. And stylish. My tree never looks stylish, neither does yours. I feel like lots of people on the internet are getting their trees done by other people.

Well, we do know somebody who does that, David Lawson, of course. But lots of people are getting them done. So maybe we just need you to have a zhuzha. No, I don't want a zhuzha. I'm Jewish, darling. Oh, sorry, says the woman that's now got a wreath on her door but yeah cool okay mum will you put it there is it just a casual job well i've realized i've got now cats that like to hide in the tree yeah mum yes darling the party's strong we've had some wonderful guests yeah um we've got a few more you still don't know who anybody is no or anyone who's coming i know who would you

quite like i'd love marcus rashford here darling okay i can't deliver that christmas miracle today oh here we go hi oh gorgeous clara ampha i just would like to sing Dancing queen Young and sweet Only seventeen Oh Clara You was robbed darling Babes

I mean It is what it is What's the tea babe Let's just get the tea right now Let's just fucking sip that fucking juice Let's talk about Shirley Ball right now. Let's just fucking sip that fucking juice. I mean, let's talk about Shirley Ballas, shall we? A flask full of vodka.

Ah, Aliash! Hello. Yeah! Oh, my God! I've gone hot! The heating is on too high, but she's also very excited. Aliash! Hello, beautiful.

Aliash, why are you not still in it? I want to very excited. Aliash. Aliash. Aliash. Why are you not still in it? I want to kill someone. Don't do it, my love. Don't do it. I'm just as upset as you are. Outrageous. And I'm a devoted, strictly person, but this is not right. No, I'm not watching. Don't care.

I do like Jeanette still being in it, though. She's great. Yeah, she is. She's lovely. She's kind of my favourite now. That's good. Where the fuck are my headphones merry christmas sorry i know i'm being rubbish you know what i'm gonna i'm gonna forgive clara because clara is the reason that table manners is even here clara was our willing guinea pig when we first did the first ever episode so i will forgive you for not having headphones even though you are a professional podcaster yourself because you

have brought aliash here with you and i just want to celebrate the love story that is clara ampho and aliash because honestly it was so lovely to watch it was so special i believed it everyone wanted you to do well and i really do feel like you've made, like you said, made a friend for life and you've already been meeting up. I feel like you should be almost spending Christmas together. Well, yeah, like it's been what has it been about 12 hours since we last saw each other? Really much. It's been 12 hours too many, if you ask me. really much and it's been 12 hours too many if you ask me yes yesterday we had our we had our reunion uh meet up post our elimination we got burgers and then we got absolutely annihilated and it was really fun amazing yeah we drank a lot of tequila and put the world to right and had a lovely time and who did you know who did you

invite did you invite shirley along no we just invited each other there we didn't you know what the two of us get along so well we don't need anyone else there good that's the good answer for it no alias you're too this is getting a bit switzerland now i need to you are too professional dish i do think it's amazing though how you do deal with like the judging i think for you two was always too harsh and then it was like too little too late and i felt like you both like had such composure whereas i'd be like i pulled that bloody hairpiece off her head who's got a hairpiece they? They all have hairpieces on, I can tell. I actually had one on the weekend. I had one in on the weekend.

Oh, my God. I thought yours were too. When Aliash came to my dressing room, yeah, with that fucking quiff on it, I literally laughed nonstop for about 10 minutes. I was on the floor. I was right. It was so, the thing is, it did look good, but it was so unexpected. So, really.

It suited you. It did suit you to be fair, babes. It did suit you. You know how that happened? I was doing my own hair, and I go down, and I foolishly asked the hair department, what should I do with my hair? And as I asked, I could see that sort of light bulb going,

yes, quiff. And if I didn't even mention it, I wouldn't even have it. Yeah, I mean, I think it, I wouldn't even have it. And yeah, I mean, I think it looked all right. In a cage! How many other people wore that same hair piece and that's when I got a big- Oh my God! Ooh!

Ooh! I haven't thought about that. What did WhatsApp Mama say? Well, my mum is obsessed with Ali Ash, otherwise known as Ajax. Ajax! Yeah, after each show, she'd call me and let me know her thoughts. Obviously, she was very spirited after the weekend.

She had a lot of thoughts and feelings, did my sweet Gracie, you know. She obviously wishes that we were in the competition hunger. But yeah, she was like, look, all of your aunties and all of your uncles, they think this and oh my God. And they all said she dances beautifully and listen to alias

she's she's calmed down now but she she was definitely in her feelings oh i'm with your mom i'm with great i want to know what are you and jeanette up to for christmas will you be in london for christmas this year we always jeanette and i because we have one family her family lives in miami my family lives in slovenia so just to make it fair we switch between Miami and Slovenia for Christmas and last year was Slovenia's third so this year is Miami so hopefully the restrictions lift enough so we can travel to to America straight after the season finishes and then it all depends really how long we can stay there if the quarantine is still going to be around if you know on the way back you have to isolate because then i go into the

here come the boys on uh straight into rehearsals for our for our show in west end which is really really exciting oh which boys it's gonna be myself graziano pasha uh graziano i love graziano and robin and and karim karim from last year's show oh my god we're going just you gotta come that sounds great so it oh i'm so excited it all really depends on this on what the regulations are and uh but yeah it would be really really weird to be to be just the two of us not you know obviously we're like the closest family that we have is each other but uh we are you know it's it's such a family thing christmas so it would be it would be a little bit heartbreaking have to be you know uh spending it here but we'll see i hope that we manage to go clara do you like

christmas babe do you know what i'd go through phases of it tbh like I I love the run-up to it like Ovi as people can't see but I've got a Destiny's Child background a festive background you know for this conversation I love to stand where I carry all year round particularly in December but yeah I've got an experience about Christmas and it's not not like not to be a downer like it's a real talk podcast so I mean I've table manners like yeah you know I've been through I've been through bereavements we all have and I think Christmas is Christmas is such a family focused time and it makes you really appreciate all the people that are still here but it also makes you sad for people that aren't here so and I have mixed feelings about it like this year we're

taking my mum out to dinner, which is nice. We're not going to the family, not a home where we grew up. So me and my brother, my mum, my sister-in-law, my other brother, and we're going to hang out and have a lovely time. And I am looking forward to it this year.

But then, I don't know. Yeah, it's bittersweet, man. It's bittersweet. I can't say I hate it. And there are elements of it that I love. Sorry to give you a 20-minute answer, but that's just how I feel baby no I think I think that's really I understand that and I think I I mean I'd like to know what's kind of your greatest Christmas memory of like when your dad was around and what kind of really feels like it epitomizes that Christmas thing of did like you know what

was your dad doing okay i'm i'm going to try not to cry i could be a bit hungover that's annie's fault no do you know what i think for me my favorite memories were like when my dad would like my mom's my mom's really religious as you guys have seen and my dad wasn't like he was more like spiritual he was like a scientist wasn't he's very like facts and all of that that's what every christmas my mom would say like a massive prayer before about to get into like lunch and like pretty much always speaking in tongues like thank you god for this thank you god for that like she would just be going on and on and on and like we'd all have to like close our eyes but I'd always like open one of my eyes and I'd look at my dad he'd just be like

and I'd just be like and then like that was always like one of my favorite bits is like just seeing him sort of like laughing at how long this is going on. Aliash I want to know um what's a Christmas dinner like at your family's house? I feel like we always have a very, very full table. I can never tell you what a traditional Christmas dinner is because there's always so much on it, so much on the table that no one can pay attention to one single thing. My mom is an amazing cook and she sort of prepares this breakfast in the morning for everyone and then a huge lunch and then an even bigger dinner I feel like all we really do is just eat she made this a make she makes this amazing sort of like a

festive Christmasy bread and it's so so lovely the whole whole house smells amazing and we've had this Christmas tree ever since I can remember. It's a fake tree. So it always looks exactly the same. But we have those beautiful little ornaments that are all wooden from when my mom and dad used to live in Sweden years ago. So they bought these tiny little things you put on a Christmas tree. And for some reason, they're all still intact, most of them and I mean it's thousands of them on the tree so the tree looks so beautiful and now we have a little doggie so they don't sort of they don't decorate the the bottom half of the tree it's a nightmare I've got

cats and they keep on climbing in the tree and I'm like this is the pain but I love it I mean I love Christmas at home because it's most years it snows because Slovenia is sort of right on the edge of Alps and that is a nice little sort of um contrast to Miami when in Miami it's boiling hot and uh so I get this like two different Christmases and the Christmas in Miami is is just a special Jeanette has this huge family of goodness I can't even count how many people it's a massive family and they're all so close and lovely I love them both yeah do you dance in between courses Jeanette does for sure but I'm one of those people that because I dance so much for what I do every single it's my work it's it's my life it's my profession so whenever I can i don't dance

fair enough i hear you that's kind of like me with singing i hear you i hear you um clara what's the worst christmas present you've ever got babe oh my god um i think like some sort of like science like annual things again yeah from your dad yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i remember being like i was fuming like i think i wanted like some sort some sort of Barbie or some cool toy one year. And I got the Nuffield annual biology book. And I was just like, thanks. I know exactly what to get you for Christmas. I know exactly what to get you.

Don't you dare. I want to know, do they do the nativity play in Slovenia? Good question. So there's two parts to that answer. First of all, what is a nativity play in slovenia so there's two parts to that answer first of all what is a nativity play fine it's the story of the birth of jesus the immaculate concept yes yes yes we do that yes we do sorry i should have known that but because slovenia is extremely extremely religious but we do this um live nativity shows yeah we they do that here but the thing about that is because it's all done outdoors and it's all done outside to make it as authentic as possible

oh wow like site-specific live action i like this actors are freezing for hours method acting because in slovenia it's bloody i, it's like minus five and ten is in Christmas. So I don't go anymore, but I used to go, yeah. That's slightly more brutal than the way we do it. We get six-year-olds to film it near the end of Christmas term. And parents film it and cry. Oh, hold on. We've got an extra person.

Hello, Russell Tovey. Yes, yes, yes. Welcome to the party. Hello, welcome to the drinks, my friend. Thank you very much. Can you hear me okay? Have I got the right settings on? I can hear you. Are you recording? I'm going to do my thingy. You want me to do it on my phone, don't you? Two seconds.

Yes, please. Fine, fine, fine. Go do your thing. So listen, I want to know, Clara, did you get a part in the nativity play and who were you? Can I just say, I made history. I was the first Black Mary in my school nativity. Hallelujah! I damn sure was, hun. I was the first Black Mary at St Joseph's Primary School and I'm very proud of that trail that I blazed

as a section. Muzzletop. Muzzletop. It was a very controversial casting choice. A few of the parents weren't happy from what I found out

as I got older but oh well. Russell, we're talking about nativity plays. Who did you play in your nativity play? When I was a kid I was Joseph.

Of course. Of course, yeah. Of course, lulz. Joseph, Of course. Of course, yeah. Of course, lols. Joseph, meet Mary. It's nice to be reunited after all these years. I think I've been a sheep at some point as well. Yeah. Yeah, a holy sheep.

It's better than Villager 3 or 4 or 5. Yeah, or Santa Claus. They had to make a part for me because I was Podgy. Oh, Jessie, stop it. It's true. I was Santa Claus. Clara, can make a part for me because I was Podgy. Oh, Jessie, stop it. It's true. I was Santa Claus. Clara, can I ask one thing? Yes, babe.

What is your most played Christmas song? Oh, Mariah Carey, All I Want for Christmas is You. Absolutely. Yeah, that or Destiny's Child, Eight Days of Christmas. So I'm a bit of a bassist bitch in that sense. Or Donny Hathaway. I love that song. Oh or donnie hathaway i love it but um thank you so much for doing this guys we appreciate it so much have a wonderful time and clara i'll see you soon girl

i'll see you i'll see you on what's up keep dancing bye keep dancing Russell hi Jesse hi Lenny Attitudes what cultural icon award for culture

yeah services to culture I guess yes and what great services you are doing in all different parts of culture

I mean talk art is huge yeah well you know what's really funny because i just started it when i came on your show which was i remember incredible and hello guys i love you both um hi um so it's rocky we're here we've just come away for the weekend to this house in suffolk and

their dogs are all exploring at the minute but he's here we've got there's three of them i miss the sound of his how come you've got three dogs? Because my boyfriend has two Bassets. So we're now like the, we're now the Power Rangers and we've all come together. Have you not seen it on Instagram? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I haven't. There's a lot.

There's a lot of dog and they're smelly and hairy and lovely and they've been brilliant in lockdown. But yes, no. So I came on your show and we have just literally gone to print in the middle of the week for the talk art book which we got a publishing deal because Ella Parsons from Octopus heard my episode with you guys and then heard about the podcast like listened to talk art and then did this so which is now out for pre-order on Amazon it's like amazing and yeah it's been a whirlwind really and

you're that's how the power of table manners well the power of podcasts i mean also thank you and also can we just say that our episode with you and when you came out will always go down as one of our best honestly it was so special you were so open and honest and we ate lovely food and rocky was here and it was just it was like the perfect friday evening to have with a wonderful stranger and to have such a lovely evening so thank you and i'm so happy that it's going so well for you i mean you've been on loads of tv on everything yeah i've watched you and everything yeah well it's yeah i mean well the sister was out this year on itv which i shot before lockdown and then i went i was out in year on ITV, which I shot before lockdown. And then I went, I was out in New York.

Steve, can you go in there a minute? Cause you're making so much noise. Steve, fuck off. You're making so much noise. Go in there. Who's Steve? My boyfriend.

Is Steve your boyfriend? Yeah. But anyway, no, I've had a, well, I've had a busy year with the podcast. Basically my podcast.

It's just been mental through lockdown. Just the ability to just connect with so many other cultural icons and figures throughout the world who are also in lockdown it's just been amazing um so what are you doing for Christmas this year you're going to be in Essex yeah it's been Essex Christmas year so uh I will be with my family there and what is something that is so memorable to your family's Christmas that kind of you if it wasn't there it wouldn't be a Tovey Christmas well my mum always dresses up as something last year she was an elf uh she loves dressing up my dad's always been father Christmas for my nephews and he would come down and then to the point where they

to the point where they were like you look like granddad and they'd be like no and I was father I was father Christmas one year Steve was father one year. It's like everybody's had a crack at the whip of being that. You should do that. This is an amazing idea. It's such effort. Yeah, it is, yeah. And then obviously we get outfits for the dogs. Yeah, what outfits have the dogs got?

Rocky's got antlers on like an Alice band. And he happily walks around with those on. Archie and Cooper will have probably Santa outfits because they're bigger dogs. You know, it's harder to find material. But Rocky's got a lot of holiday accessories, whatever the season. Holiday accessories. And does he get a stocking? Oh, yeah.

My mum does a stocking. Yeah. Yeah. For them. Yeah. Do you get a stocking, Russell? Well, my mum does a stocking, yeah. Oh, my God. Do you get a stocking, Russell? Well, we do £5 prizes now, or £10 prizes.

You buy, like, ten of them, and there's a routine. The boys, my nephews, will get presents, and then us grown-ups will do this thing where you pass it round in a circle and you open a present, and it can change to two people. It's like a little game we play now. So it's a load of tat, but you go, well, I want them pegs i'll swap my pegs for uh this bottle holder and it's just and you each turn up with 10 wrapped gifts and they are only about like 10 pound each sometimes a bit less sometimes a bit more and then everyone else there's loads of stuff and you end up with

like you know kitchen towels and a loo roller loo hole loo roll holder and stuff like that so you know i feel like your your christmas is really fun you've got it sorted oh yeah oh yeah we drink baileys and we play games oh baileys and we watch the queen's speech and then my mum dad does all the cooking my dad's a really good cook i think we spoke about this before my mum was a bit like just eat it uh she's improved as i got older a bit but my dad really embraces christmas cooking and i'm a pescatarian so they always have a whinge about me being the odd one out and i don't blame that's the new thing because we were eating steak with rock yeah that's right that's right yeah so i became yeah and he ate most of it

i tried to keep it i kept dropping it down did you love it yeah the smells that were coming out of rocky for about a week after our interview was down to you then um no i went to see the northern lights two years ago and it was about the the food you could eat there and all you could eat like i've been desperately trying to cut out meat for years and, like, going to the gym and everything, I've been thinking I need chicken and protein. So they said all you could eat was seal, reindeer, whale or salmon. And I was like, I don't want to eat Rudolph and Cupid and Vixen.

I don't want to eat whale. The other options, I'll have the salmon, please. And then I was like, you know what? I'm going to try and be a pescatarian and since then i haven't touched it i haven't touched any meat at all well done that's really that is very good yeah russell what's your favorite christmas film christmas film home alone i mean home alone is the most everybody said that but that's the but that's the most highest grossing movie is it like at Christmas ever and I used to have dreams that Macaulay Culkin

was my best friend as a kid I'd take him to junior school with me best friend or did you want to be is he a gay icon I don't know

no he's not darling not for nine year old me you know Bruce Willis at the time I think no Die Hard great Christmas film

in his best I think as a nine year old I was like it's totally a Christmas film it's all based it's all based on Christmas Eve at a Christmas party yeah

it's my husband's family's tradition Die Hard wow I also love Love Actually I adore that movie I know

yeah I do as well it is good so we know that you were Joseph in the Nativity yeah we know Home Alone is your favourite film. What is your favourite

Christmas song that would get you, have you already played your favourite Christmas song? Have you heard it yet on Magic? Well, I have a Christmas playlist that sits on my phone

that sometimes, you know, when you have the shuffle that goes on and you have a Christmas song during the rest of the year, I always really want to listen to it but you feel bad

but I love Christmas songs. But, I mean, the most recent Christmas song which I loved is Mariah Carey's Oh Santa. Oh, I don't know it. A new one. Well, it was like two years ago, but everyone's sort of forgotten it. But for me, it changed my life. Okay.

Yeah, Oh Santa by Mariah Carey. But I guess it's, you just put on the classics, you know, and then they have like, do they know it's Christmas? Oh my God, what an amazing. I know. Amazing song. My mum used to put that on. We had it on vinyl, Feed the World, They Know It's Christmas.

And we put it on when we put the trio. It was like our tradition. Feed the World. And are you still working with your charity that you were working with? Magic Breakfast. Oh, hold on. Magic Breakfast?

Yeah, Magic. Is that the LGBT? That was, sorry, Albert Kennedy Trust, AKT. Oh, hold on. Magic breakfast? Yeah, magic. Is that the LGBT? That was, sorry, Albert Kennedy Trust, AKT. Yes, yes. I'm still working with them and I'm also working heavily now with Magic Breakfast, which feed kids from low-income families food so that they have fuel for learning.

They feed up to 40,000 plus kids every single day up and down the country who are not getting food at home. And then during the lockdown, they were going around to people's houses and giving these kids breakfast because they're not there's been so many horror stories about kids that got to school and they're just when you're hungry you can't concentrate and this charity is giving them money but they were finding kids going down like the bins and

stuff it's like oh yeah but this charity is phenomenal by the way people may be hearing rocky snoring it's not mom snoring rocky and his sinuses kind of get it By the way, people may be hearing Rocky snoring. It's not mum snoring, it's Rocky and his sinuses kind of getting in the way of us talking about magic. I love him. You're always in there, aren't you, Rocky? Jesus, you're such an attention seeker. He's gorgeous, darling. So what else is the plan for 2021?

Are you allowed to announce any acting things that you're doing? Well, I'm doing a movie at the minute called Text For You with Celine Dion, Priyanka Chopra, Sam Heughan. Shut up. Lydia West, yes. But I've not met her yet. Sorry, forget. I mean, I know all the other names are really big,

but Celine Dion. I know, I know. It's exciting. But that's called Text For You, so we're shooting that at the moment. That'll be out. Is that going to be out next year or the year after? Don't know, but that's kind of cool. So I've got a few more days on that and then we've got yeah so yeah have you

seen the youtube that is celine dion is fucking amazing no i haven't seen that okay okay you need to maybe watch that before you meet celine dion that is my christmas gift to you you need to go and watch it it's fucking amazing you need to go and watch that after we speak. Before you meet Celine Dion, this is huge. Okay, Celine. And then, sorry, after text for you, what's going on? Well, again, the TalkCast stuff's kicked off. So the book comes out.

We've got a big book launch, which is available for pre-order now on Amazon, if we're allowed to say that. Of course. That's called The TalkCast Book. Everything you want to know about the art world book too afraid to ask and that's i'm buying it yeah please please it's pre-order now lenny get on it pre-order now i'm on it yeah it's uh so that's lots of that but otherwise i don't really know i've got a few things i've in development that i've been writing myself. And yeah, but it's just waiting to see.

There's a few things that have come in that we're sort of looking at and let's see. But it's been a weird old year. I'm excited to see what 2021 is really. Russell, thank you so much for coming to our Christmas party. It's a pleasure to see you. It's been too long. Congratulations on a kind of amazing 2020

and I can't wait to see what you're up to next year. And good luck with the book. Thank you. Everyone go and pre-order it. I love you guys. Merry Christmas. Lots of love. Kisses.

Bye. Have a lovely, lovely weekend away. Will do. And I can't wait to hear what your mum dressed up as. Yeah. It'd be a generic elf of some sort, you know. Oh, I love Russell Tovey. Me too. If he wasn't gay, i would be pouncing on if i wasn't married and he

wasn't gay i think we'd be together well there you go love him love him love him love him um his book talk art by russell tovey and robert diamant i hope i've said that right robert i'm so sorry if i haven't and it's all about art uh everything you wanted to know about contemporary art but you were afraid to ask love having him on this has been a great party I feel just needed a canapé now mum go and fill your glass we've got one last guest coming let's hope he doesn't overstay his welcome it's a he yes is. Who do you think it could be? I haven't got a clue. Well, make some guesses. Don't know. Is it a pop star? No.

Is it a comedian? I mean, he's funny. Oh, I can't think of a name. You really love him. I really love him. So did Uncle Alex. Dermot! I'm saying nothing.

Ah. Maybe we have Dermot O'Leary coming up as our last guest. Hi! Oh my goodness! Oh, there we are. Oh, this is such a treat. Hi, my goodness. Oh, there we are. Oh, this is such a treat. Hi, Derm. My wonderful Jessie and my, well, the reason Fridays were invented.

My lovely Lenny. Derm O'Leary, you're here for our Christmas nibbles. You are our final guest. Are you the person that comes at the end of the party and stays to the early hours? Or are you kind of more of an early bird well that's a good question um i go with the best of intentions to get home a respectable night time and then me and my wife always turn around to each other every party we ever go to and go we've stayed two hours or three hours too late haven't we what are we doing so we never want to be the dregs of the party because of my adage is nothing really great

happens after between the hours of two and six like all the parties I've ever been to with three and six all the parties you ever go to where you stay up for those times you always feel worse the next morning and you never really remember what happens between three and six so I like to kind of knock it on the head about two-ish and then um and I can never get to bed straight away either. Or pre-baby, I could never get to bed straight away. Now, no problem. I know, I know. I always used to be like, I'll watch a bit of TV and I'll sit and have a read. Maybe a cup of chamomile.

And now I'm just like, where's the bed, where's the bed? I know, it's crazy, isn't it? I want to know, what are you doing this Christmas? It's your first Christmas as a family with your new addition. What's happening? Well, it's a tough one because we can't really realistically go anywhere so we can't get back to ireland although i did we did ireland last year so it's not it's not ireland's turn uh we always tend to go to norway because

they celebrate on the 24th like a lot of countries in europe do don't they so the norwegians um so we normally go there before or after but we probably won't we won't be able to do that so we're sort of planning on obviously hoping covid will get lifted um restrictions sort of early part of of next year not too early but sometime in the sort of late winter early spring so that's kind of when we'll hopefully get over to norway again um and ireland again and then we'll get d's mum up in the travel window and just have that lovely London, Dickensian, Victorianery kind of Christmas, which I love. One of my sort of favourite memories growing up

was always spending time up in London with our Auntie Angela up in, kind of all the Irish came over and lived in the North West, didn't they? So we always had a very kind of Irish-y, kind of London-y Christmas. And it did snow a few times as well. So I've got very kind of roast into glasses about Christmas in London. Also, London kind of emptiesy Christmas and it did snow a few times as well so I've got very kind of

roast into glasses about Christmas in London also London kind of empties out Christmas so it's always a lovely place to be for long walks and cozy firesides and all of that I feel like you kind of get the best of both worlds if you get to how do you celebrate that Christmas Eve in London will you celebrate it the Norwegian way yes and what will that entail it's kind of a combination of of the Norwegians and then I get a bit Catholic about quarter to 12. So we, so it's kind of, you do, it's very sort of fish based.

So you'll do like a big salmon and some sort of Norwegian kind of, you might do krensakaka, which is this lovely cake, or you might do like cloudberries and cream, which is one of their desserts they do and they do a porridge kind of a savoury porridge

that with nutmeg I forget the name of that's really lovely ooh who's going to be doing the Christmas dinner on Christmas day

me she cannot cook oh she can't cook she's a good I'll tell you what Dee is great at it's stuff that you put in a stew pot

and leave for, like, five hours and kind of come once every now and again to stir it. So her bolognese sauce is amazing. And she does a kind of nice chorizo thing as well. But for the most... I'll do 99% of the cooking. But to be fair... Is she good at decorating the table?

She's unbelievable. And her eye is extraordinary. And the thing is... And the onion. 100%. And I don't, you know... It's not a bad thing that she can't cook it's not like i don't go she could like we've both got skill sets and also she doesn't

get any she doesn't really derive any joy out of cooking whereas if i'm on my own i'll still cook yeah so i'll happily cook for one or cook for four or i don't mind and i've loved i haven't loved lockdown lockdown's been horrible but but i've loved cooking during lockdown it's been a real treat. I've really tried to sort of try and think outside the box as well. I feel like, I mean, you had the highlight of your son being born. But also, I feel like you being on radio must have been something that was really helpful. Thank God.

Yeah. For you this year? I mean, you took the words right out of my mouth. Thank God. Yeah. For you this year? I mean, you took the words right out of my mouth. When the first lockdown hit, I was finishing my kids' book,

the fourth Toto book, and I was sort of hunkered down. So that kind of took up the first, maybe the first two weeks. And then I was covering for Zoe Ball for maybe two or three weeks. So the first month, I was so focused that it just kept my sanity. And then, and actually going into town to do work uh and not recording from home was a godsend just being in and especially speaking to

you're kind of pushing against an open door because I think and I kept saying it on the end of the radio show I said look we're getting some lovely messages about how much people need radio but don't think for one minute we don't fit exactly the same way you do, because I got so much out of doing radio, and it's that, A, it's that commonality, and it's such a wonderful medium for that, isn't it? I love radio because you can turn a show on a sixpence in a way that, as much as I love live telly,

you just can't do on live television. Like radio, you can go on air and actually where you think a show's going to take you because of one caller or one text or something that takes you somewhere totally different on the conversation topic and that's always the backbone of your of your show i suppose and also it just gives you that regularity of of not necessarily just of work but i mean of of just going in and focusing on something every day and yeah i can't you, I've never enjoyed doing radio as much as I have this year. I want to know, what is a defining Christmas,

is it a drink or a particular thing at Christmas from your childhood that really reminds you of Christmas time? So I grew up in North Essex, kind of South Suffolk. So my mum and dad would always walk on Christmas day. So I was an altar boy so we'd go to mass either either either on christmas day or when i got older i wasn't altar boy anymore i'd go to midnight mass and then we would come home have a nice big breakfast open a couple of presents uh have a couple of glasses or something my dad was never a drink but he'd always have a glass

of bucks fizz at christmas it was hilarious and then drink, but he'd always have a glass of Bucks Fizz at Christmas. It was hilarious. And then we'd always go, we'd put the dinner on, and we'd go for a really, really long walk by the coast. So we'd always be along those kind of lovely, long beaches of Walton and Frinton and up by the grass and the dunes up there, which is really stunning, especially around Christmas time. It's almost always quite, like, that coastline is, and that countryside

is so flat that some people weird some people out but actually when you're sort of brought up there it's kind of those big skies are wonderful and there's something sort of beautiful about how bleak it is sometimes at Christmas uh and then sometimes we get we'd it was a bit far away but get up to Albra and we'd have a walk up there and my dad um my dad was always kind of a bit of a skinny dipper and a wild swimmer before it became a thing so I remember one one year I me and my mum were chatting and it was really cold I think my sister was university so it's just the three of us or something and my and it was really cold and I was chatting to my mum and I saw this flash of pink uh go past me and it kind of seems like 15 years ago and my and so my dad would have been

probably 60 at the time and my dad was just kind of w like 15 years ago and my and so my dad would have been probably 60 at the time and my dad was just kind of waddling down kind of like and then he just went in just goes in lenny you know what it's like you baby boomers are just you're just tough you're just made of tougher stuff you just do it i can't imagine mom doing that as princesses maybe in caribbean waters no no no it has to be very hot for me. Dermot, are you a Christmas lunch or a Christmas dinner person? A Christmas dinner, I think. We've always...

Oh. It's such a lovely, chill day that we'll always do a breakfast first. And then you put your dinner on kind of leisurely. So probably early dinner, probably six, five, six, something like that. Six-ish, yeah. And is the breakfast a big thing for you? Because we always have, what, we'd have like bagels if you get them. Bagels, smoked salmon, scrambled eggs.

But I feel like everyone loves that. Glass of champagne. Yeah, no, it would be, so in Ireland they have a thing called white pudding. I don't know if you've, you guys aren't kosher, are you? No. No. So white pudding is like, it's kind of like a cross between in taste it's a cross between a sausage and haggis

but not but it's not made from it's it's got kind of a barley in it and um it's kind of like a more dense sausage i think probably the best way to describe it but then it's really spicy like herby so it's not herby it's really peppery so you'll so there's a lot of white pepper i think in there a lot of mace in there so it's a really lovely taste and you you know cut it up and then you fry it it's great with eggs so that's kind of a staple i may do that this get some white pudding you get white pudding in waitrose you know just to get one of the yeah so conakilty is the probably the the most wide-ranging white pudding you can get. That's made in Cork, which is really nice.

And then in Wexford, we have one called O'Neill's, which is terrific as well. Oh, God, you're like... It's really good. Yeah, I'm well into this. And do you like Irish soda bread? I love it, yeah. Really good. So do you have that?

Yeah, yeah, more so now. My mum and dad, my dad's vegetarian vegetarian so my dad always so he's achilles heel really is jam bread anything kind of ice creamy or yogurts i mean it was well known in the o'leary household that any time of year if you came around for your tea your dinner there was always a yogurt at the end of it even now i've got a whole shelf full of yogurts in the fridge standard what kind of yogurts are you having? Do I need to have the... Oh, anything. I'll go...

Well, the two, like, for me, the two blue chip yoghurts in the UK are Yo Valley and Rachel's, hands down. I completely agree. Oh, man. Rachel's coconut is... Oh, the coconut is the best. It's the best.

It is the best. Hey, I'll tell you where I do a supper club. Me and my friends have done supper club for, like, I don't know, 15 years now. A group of us. And last year I had to organise one at Christmas. And in fact, sadly, it's the last one we've done. Because we normally do it four times a year.

And I did mine at Rules last year. Oh, mother of God. What a Christmas dinner. But they're famous for roasts, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The roasts and the sweet pudding. Yeah. You two have to go. Yeah, I I think we will that's the sad thing I do love an office lunch party a Christmas lunch I used to like British home stores Christmas dinner I don't

care my mother used to work in British home stores and uh as a treat on a Saturday my dad would always I because I went to a Church of England primary school I had to get taught by the nuns on the Saturday morning for my catechism so I used to my so my dad would wait then pick me up and then we'd go it held his hand it was so gorgeous and then we went up to BHS where my mum worked and they had their own wonderful cafeteria there so me and my dad would go up and it was allowed anything there because so I just I used to have like strawberry flan for breakfast or like eggs and bacon or yeah wonderful my dad would be great fish and chips there was always yeah they did great fish and chips lovely roast dinner I was there having my Christmas dinner on my own the day that there was a bomb on Oxford Street and I got

interviewed by the Independent and I must have been in shock or something. I think I was pissed off that they'd evacuated us. Because you were finishing your Christmas dinner. And I said, this is enough, I said. I'm going to Croydon next time. Oh my god, stop! I did!

That's wonderful. Oh my god. How pathetic. But I miss those cafeterias in department stores. I do as well. I did that's wonderful oh my god how pathetic um god but I miss those cafeterias in department stores I do as well um

Dermot O'Leary thank you so much for coming to our Christmas party I just I love congratulations on what a wonderful year for you guys

I know it's been a rotten year but in terms of table manners it's I mean the people you have on and it's just such a warm life affirming listen.

I really, you know, I never miss it. I really enjoy it. You're so sweet. Thank you. And Merry Christmas. And I hope you have a lovely Christmas Day. And a wonderful year. And best wishes for 2021.

I'll be watching you on this morning. Thank you. I hope to see you guys very soon. Dermot O'Leary, the Christmas angel. I love him. Love him. Love him. He loves you, Mum, actually. I love him, actually.

What a way to finish our Christmas party. Thank you to everyone who came on. Thank you to everyone who's listened. It's been really, really special and a kind of beautiful way to round off a bizarre year, but a year that actually we've never felt more appreciative of being able to do this podcast for you guys and for ourselves it's um it's a joy to do this for you guys and it's a joy to be with my mother so much every week i love it and uh thank you and happy christmas we hope you all

have a better 2021 and there's just one thing I want to say. What? Feliz Navidad. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Feliz Navidad. Bom-bom-bom-bom-bom. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas. Oh, yeah. From the bottom of my heart. Did I just make that bit up?

Yeah, no, it doesn't matter. Merry Christmas, everyone. Bye, darlings. Table Manners is produced by Alice Williams.