Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S12 Ep 2: Tom Daley

Episode Date: October 20, 2021

So this week is absolutely golden in every sense of the word … we welcome the king of knitting & GOLD Olympic award winner Tom Daley to mum's for lamb and dauphinois. The Plymouth born diver tal...ks to us about his Tokyo Olympics experience, his childhood desire to be a pilot, how he met his husband Lance and their first kiss. We chat about the importance of parenthood; losing his dad at 16 years old and the relationship he has with his own son. This really was a treat; a true charmer, our golden boy. We love you Tom! Oh and you might have noticed we’ve rebranded.. Introducing Table Manners with Jessie AND Lennie Ware! Nobody puts Lennie in the corner!!(...and as we also mentioned Jessie has a new podcast out called 'Is It Normal? The Pregnancy Podcast'. https://www.isitnormalpodcast.com.If you are pregnant or know somebody who is we'd love you to have a listen x ) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello and welcome to Table Manners. I'm Jessie Ware and I'm here and I'm ready for tonight. Jessie, I've noticed something on our Instagram. What? It says Jessie and Lenny Ware now. Yeah mum, we've rebranded. Oh my god, I'm part of the thing. Nobody puts baby in the corner mum. No darling. That was my gift to you. Thank you darling. Happy 70th. Thank you. You're now not just a supporting actress okay thank you are the main star no i'm not table manners is now table manners with jesse and lenny where there's a thing yeah this is how it is goodbye table manners with jesse where adios buckaroo adios there's a big wig new big wig in town it's a new big wig in town. It's a new big wig in town, yes. How are you, Mum?
Starting point is 00:00:46 I'm okay, I think. It smells good. What are you cooking tonight? Very, very excited. You've really... I know Mum means business when she has a... I mean, you open the door and she goes, Jessica, don't put your coat there. The house is spotless.
Starting point is 00:00:58 I've got to polish the brass today. So you told me that I should do something warm and comforting. Yeah, autumnal. And figs are in season, so I've and comforting yeah autumnal and figs are in season so i've done lamb with pistachio and figs oh come on slow cooked so what you put fresh figs in there and they know it's not fresh figs but i'm going to put fresh figs to garnish on top darling and what coriander toast no coriander okay no spices? No, I'll tell you what there was. There was coriander, ground coriander. There was dill, parsley, ground coriander, cinnamon and turmeric.
Starting point is 00:01:34 Okay. And then you make a big paste with that that's quite green. Is this otolenghi? Yeah, and then you put it on a bed of onion and garlic and figs, cut up dried figs. It's quite sweet, I think. But then I think I'm just going to pull it apart. We'll all have a bit. And then you've done it dauphinoise.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Done dauphinoise. Need that like a hole in the head. Darling, it's not all about you. No. You know, he's a swimmer. He's got to, he'll be training. Thought feed him up. And then I've made something we tasted at Soho Farmhouse
Starting point is 00:02:07 but I don't think it's worked as well but I've made roasted plums with star anise and creme fraiche with a honeycomb crumb and you made the honeycomb yeah not work quite as well as I thought but I think it will taste nice mum you've really pulled out the stops for this guest. Yeah, Tom Daley. We've really wanted Tom Daley for a very long time. You speak about Tom Daley like you speak about Marcus Rashford, like they're your sons. But it's funny, that's what I was thinking, because we've seen him grow up. We've known him so long that I feel we're almost kind of related.
Starting point is 00:02:41 I feel like I've got a vested interest in his life. He also has those very innocent puppy dog eyes, doesn't he? He's's got gorgeous eyes. Like come save me. Yeah. He doesn't need being saved. I've seen him at the Bell of the Attitude Awards. He looks like he's having a fun time and going out with Jodie Harsh who's coming on tour with me. He talked about his first kiss with Lance. Yeah. They were talking about diving and he said what you have to do is hold your hands above your head just like this and as he them up, he leaned forward and kissed him. How romantic is that? A synchronised kiss.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Well, you're giving away some of the book. So the reason we have Tom on, well, apart from the fact that we love him. I love him. But he has got a book out called Coming Up For Air. And it's out now. So we're recording this the day before it comes out. I did make the man in Ginger Pig. Thank you, Ginger Pig, for lovely lamb.
Starting point is 00:03:26 Because I said to him, he said, oh, have you got on? And I said, Tom Daley. I said, I hope he wears his speedos. He said, I bet you do. Oh, and just want to let you know that I've just launched a new podcast. It's called Is It Normal? And if you are pregnant and you're listening to this and you fancy giving it a listen, it's a kind of week by week guide about being pregnant.
Starting point is 00:03:44 But it's not a guide. I'm not telling you what to do we have loads of experts talking about the stages of pregnancy and giving birth and it's just a big old chat and um yeah check it out is it normal have you listened to one yet mum yes darling what did you think i thought it was great very informative thank you i'm reassuring thank you bit of a cuddle while you're pregnant thanks mum you put that on the uh quotations yeah thank you I'm reassuring thank you bit of a cuddle while you're pregnant thanks mum you put that on the uh in quotations yeah thank you so today I've made an effort my brother has made a comment on what I'm wearing I know darling because you normally come I know with rather strange clothing on that looks like you've been cleaning most of the joy that's what I haven't been cleaning but
Starting point is 00:04:22 um the joy of podcasting is I don't have to look my best all the time. You do when people there have made an effort, probably. I mean, Mum, you're making out that I'm like in dirty... Oh, and they're here. Tom Daley coming up. Is he in his speedo?
Starting point is 00:04:44 Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Tom Daley is here. Yes. Here's to publishing day tomorrow. Yes. How are you feeling? Well, I'm kind of like excited for it to be...
Starting point is 00:04:56 Is this your first book? It's my... Well, it's actually my fourth, but it's my second autobiography. Right. But for me, this is like my autobiography like the one when I did one just before I turned 18 I'm like what do I what was my life at you know at 17 years old whereas this one is just very I don't know it's a very reflective book about everything that I've learned and all of the things that I've how I've gone through things and matured
Starting point is 00:05:20 as an athlete as a you know parent as a a... Is that my phone going off as well? I'm sorry. I'll just tell you who it is. Silence it. Yeah, exactly. Who is it? It's probably... Yeah, it's all right. No, I already looked at the message. Is it bedtime? But Lance isn't at home. My mum's up here.
Starting point is 00:05:39 So Lance is in Canada at the moment. So where's the baby? With my mum. Like, in London Bridge at home. So, yeah. And what's Lance doing? Lance is filming a at the moment. So where's the baby? With my mum in London Bridge at home. And what's Lance doing? Lance is filming a TV show for FX. So he's doing all kinds of stuff. It's called Under the Banner of Heaven. It's essentially about a Mormon family
Starting point is 00:05:55 that take the Old Testament, New Testament and the Book of Mormon very literally. And it's a very dark kind of, kind of investigates the Mormon religion a little bit. It's quite a dark show. you know kind of like investigates the mormon religion a little bit it's quite it's quite a dark show and has he done the screenplay or is he yeah so he's uh written he's also directing episode episode five i believe and he's also the showrunner and producer so he's like working hard exhausted exactly they're all shooting is it in vancouver he's in calgary but yeah he also did a show in
Starting point is 00:06:25 2016 in vancouver so he's been shooting all over he's not connect is he canadian no he's he's like born uh born in california grew up in texas and then yeah but he so he's just i think they're shooting there for tax credits i think but he was in canada when you won your gold yeah exactly yeah yeah with your mum yes exactly my mum was out there my son was out there working. With your mum. Yes, exactly. My mum was out there. My son was out there. So, yeah, it's, but my mum's been such an angel this year because we've both been so busy. And like, there's the, you know, as you know, like juggling things is so difficult. And, you know, with my training, Robbie's at nursery and it's normally completely fine. But on particularly busy weeks, my mum will come up and be like, I mean, my mum absolutely loves it, just being Nana for a week.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Does Robbie get spoiled by Nana? Oh, my goodness. Does she throw the routine out the window? Yes. Yeah. Spoiled, rotten, and gets away with murder chocolate. I've got a little Fredo frog to take home. Oh, he loves those as well.
Starting point is 00:07:20 They're gorgeous. Yeah, he loves those. He really does. And did she teach you how to knit no i youtube just before lockdown but that's i mean that's quite sensational it's i just kind of because we've got friends who are knitters really good knitters and we said we've got tom on and she said that knitting is exceptional knitting it's not just even easy knitting oh thank i mean i mean your dives are great too like no she was just like that knitting i mean wow it's just one of those things that i'm like i think it's very athlete of me if like if i
Starting point is 00:07:52 start something i just want to try and do the absolute best that i can and i kind of probably take it a little bit too far in terms of like getting to you know if i want to start something i want to do it to the best of my ability and i want to like be all in I like I don't half-ass things so what are some of the other obsessions that you've had in your life um cooking I like to cook a lot I've definitely was plants house plants I have over 200 house plants and they're alive well I left for the Olympics and my friends came where they did a not bad job. They only killed, they only killed a couple. And,
Starting point is 00:08:29 but then I say killed, I think I'm going to be able to revive them, but I'm going to have to cut them back quite considerably. But you know, I think that for me, it was like during lockdown, it was plants and it was knitting and crochet that kind of just took over my life. So were you able to still train in lockdown?
Starting point is 00:08:46 The first one, no. So I was using like, I was using like sofa cushions as crash mats to do somersaults on too. I was doing workouts online, doing whatever I like possibly could. And lots of visualization actually, just visualizing myself doing the dive so that when I got back to the pool, it was almost normal again. But yeah. I bet Robbie found that quite fun that you were doing somersaults in the living room you're allowed
Starting point is 00:09:09 to he did he was like coming he was coming up and he would like try and like do like if I was doing like press-ups or whatever he would just try and copy me which was really sweet where were you locked down in London so we were we were in London Bridge and it's uh you know it was really surreal it's kind of like a townhouseyy thing. We've got a roof terrace. We've got some outdoor space for Robbie to run around in. But it was when we were allowed to go out and do an hour of exercise and run, we'd run along South Bank and it was like ghost town. It was so weird just to like go out your house,
Starting point is 00:09:37 run along South Bank and just be like, what on earth is like, there's no one here. Why is nobody here? And obviously I know why, but it was just very surreal to be able to just run along those paths without seeing another human being so okay cooking um what's the daily dish that you would do to really impress your friends oh gosh that's a that's tough I cook such a variety of things what I I used to do before lockdown, every Monday, I used to do a Monday night dinner club. Oh my God,
Starting point is 00:10:07 you're like an overachiever to the max. I love this. My husband loves to host as well. So we like always do. And it's also one of those things that I love to see my friends. I love people are coming in to visit all the time and from different places.
Starting point is 00:10:19 Yeah. And it's so hard sometimes to dedicate like one evening for like ever. And there's not enough hours in the day. So what we do is we do a Monday night dinner club where my seven, like best friends always come every week. And then we have up to 16 people that are totes when it's so at total 16. So we add an extra nine.
Starting point is 00:10:39 Is that because of places at the table? Yeah. Places at the table. I mean, we can add up to 27 when we, some Christmases we do 27. And so we've had 27 for Christmas dinner one time, which was intense. But we do like a starter, a main, and we get other people to bring desserts.
Starting point is 00:10:55 And we just have like, it was just nice to be able to have quite an eclectic mix. Like I always, we always invite different people so that, and mix around the seats. So everybody's meeting new people. And it's just a nice way to be able to see people and you're good have there been any absolute nightmare moments where you've been like oh we did the seating plan completely wrong you know what no luckily I feel like everybody's quite well behaved most of the time there are some nights if like for example I've come home from a diving competition and i've got a few days off there were like a couple of times where it was a monday night and everybody's you know and especially if because i don't tend to drink when i'm training so it's
Starting point is 00:11:33 normally quite tame and people kind of respectful of that but if i'm if they see me like have a glass of something and i don't have training the next day they are like okay right it's go time so that was something that was really fun for me actually is to and I want to start being able to do it again because we haven't done it for like well I mean nearly two years now but I mean okay so you're having a little glass of champs today so when are you going back to you look you're promoting the book and I understand that and you're you've just come back from winning golden bronze at the olympics which is all amazing when are you back to training soon or when's the next competition for you? Yeah, well, it's one of those things that I'm going to,
Starting point is 00:12:09 I'm taking a bit of a break, essentially. And I'm having a bit of a moment where I can just like be, you know, I'm extremely busy at the moment, but I like, I just want to have a bit of time with family. I want to be able to time to like chill, switch off, rest my body and then see where I go and see if I get back into it. And it's-
Starting point is 00:12:23 What do you mean you might not compete in the Olympics? It's like right now, like... No, don't say terrible things like that. No, I basically, I don't want to be one of those athletes that says, I'm done, I'm retired, and then come back a year later and like do it again. Yeah, sheepishly like, yeah. Frank Sinatra was on his farewell tour,
Starting point is 00:12:44 about 18 of them so for me I just want to if I'm going to start I want to make the decision I want to know that I want to stop so I always, the plan was always me and my coach are going to take a year out and just have a bit of time who is your coach now?
Starting point is 00:12:58 my coach is called Jane Figueredo still Jane so she features a lot in here yes she is and you love her i mean she's great i mean like we obviously when as any coach athlete relationship we always had these we butt heads a little bit on some things but it was one of those things that kind of created the relationship we have now and you know i think there was always this like thing about figuring out where where we were going with diving how much how little and figuring it out to the point where this year has been like the best year for mine and jane's relationship like
Starting point is 00:13:30 it was like after being coached by her for eight years we finally found this like perfect place to be and it was like quite i mean it takes a long time to build a coach and athlete relationship i mean i look i i sing when i'm not doing this and I find that terrifying. But the idea of standing on, I don't, I respect you so much. The swimming costume is one and, but I don't know how you do it. I know because you're an Olympian,
Starting point is 00:13:54 you're an amazing and that's what you do. But I- I'm still terrified when I go up there. Really? Yeah. What, walk, what? Are you scared of height? Well, it's not necessarily the height.
Starting point is 00:14:02 It's like the- Oh my God, you're in the wrong job. It's not necessarily that. It's like the wrong job it's not necessarily that it's like the fear of i know i've gone wrong so many times i know what can go wrong like i've hit my head and i you know you split your skin when you hit the water wrong you bruise tell jesse about the twister which you the whole chapter on the twister like that my twister was your nemesis yeah so you know when simone biles this year talked about her like mental health with the twisties essentially there's this like very weird sensation that can come over you when you're twisting
Starting point is 00:14:30 that you can lose exactly where you are in the air and you just kind of feel like you're falling through the abyss and you don't know where you are you bail out and then you don't know which way you're going to land and then all of a sudden smack you've landed in the water and it can create these like really weird mental blocks and like lost move syndromes where you stand on the end of the board and you can't physically move and you can't do it and it's so like you know terrifying to be able to stand on the board and actually do it and it was something i was experiencing in the build up to london 2012 and then i had to do the dive and there was a re-dive and there was flashes in the audience and there was this whole traumatic thing to the point where I ended up having to change my dive and learn a circus trick. So my coach came to me one time and was like, show me this video of someone from Cirque du Soleil on a Russian swing learning a dive or doing a dive.
Starting point is 00:15:18 And she was like, I think this is a dive that we have to change to. that we have to change to so there was this whole thing that was like really dramatic of me trying to figure out how to train well basically change a circus trick into an olympic dive within a couple of years i don't really want to talk about your speeders well i really do i think everybody else would like to hear about it but are they specific for divers um no they swimmers can basically they just need to have a drawstring so they don't fall off first of all because when you hit the water yeah like 35 miles an hour they'll come off and if you don't time up they're off like down by your ankles like has it ever happened in competition yeah before my bum's been on the big screen oh my god that's like what nightmares are made yeah but it's like
Starting point is 00:15:59 one of those things that happens and then they don't show it in the replay but still once you know but do they ever come off and you have to fish around when you're at the bottom? That's not happened to me yet. Okay. Has it happened to others? Probably. I mean, it must, like, because it comes off so quickly. At least you're underwater.
Starting point is 00:16:11 Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but you don't have to bob down and not come up. I know, but it's a bit of a Monet, you know, like, you know, it's not. You'll get down there if you need to. Oh, my God, that is. If you weren't doing diving. Yes. What would you be doing have you got any like
Starting point is 00:16:27 complete fantasies of having a nine to five so before i was a diver and didn't really necessarily have anything like you started when you were eight yeah so it's always kind of always been there it's always been there but in terms of like when i saw myself having it as a career probably wasn't until i was like maybe 12 13 12 13 so before that I wanted to be a pilot that was something that I wanted to do whereas now we can still do that that's true but like now I'd love to be a tv host and do that kind of stuff you can do that with your eyes he's done that with splash a little bit with splash what was that like I mean it was really fun I like if anyone had said that it was gonna be a saturday night tv show about dining I
Starting point is 00:17:03 would have laughed in their faces originally. But it happened and I loved it. And, you know, I'm starting to do little bits here and there now. Like I'm doing the one show next week, which will be fun. Oh, you're doing hosting? Yeah. So that'll be fun. What about a podcast, Tom?
Starting point is 00:17:16 I know. I think I might start doing a podcast soon. You should do a podcast. Yeah. I think it'd be really fun to be able to do that. So maybe watch this space. But also I want to design knitwear as well. Like love knitwear i like i think you should do this yeah i think i think who who's asked you to design for them well i want to like do my own range and just do it yeah but you've got to sell it somewhere true so which i think he'll be okay no which
Starting point is 00:17:42 shop would you like selling it to be obviously e-commerce of doing it online but you which i think he'll be okay no which shop would you like so obviously e-commerce of doing it online but you know i think you know i'm i'm also with m&s as well so maybe like a maybe you'll be able to but it's not necessarily or just the like i want obviously would be great to sell ready to wear knitwear but i also want to make sell like or like create kits for people to like make their own thing like with that cool knitting pattern yeah to come with, to come with the yarn, the needles. Oh, with the yarn, yeah. The like, and like video instructions of how to make it. Oh, videos would be good, wouldn't they?
Starting point is 00:18:11 Yeah, so then people can. Hey, fucking get some, get, bloody Jacob doing the bloody filming next week. Oh, not once can do the bloody direction. Yeah, right. He's too busy to help me with that, but. How does that work with you and Lance have such amazing careers is it ever does it ever feel like you're in competition
Starting point is 00:18:30 I'm not in competition but do you feel like it's easy to be supportive of each other or because when you're going off to do your training or he's going off on that long haul flight that we all long to have on our own now yes I've been I've been flying around here there and everywhere with Robbie on my own which is always an interesting thing but oh god it's tough he's actually pretty good with flying is he like because he's done it so much to it um get the ipad out is it well he doesn't watch tv oh what like he like tv is for him why is that because we try to like just be a little bit more conscious about how much he's got so we take coloring books he loves coloring and he loves playing with trucks
Starting point is 00:19:10 and like tv we do on a weekend and i watch a film and make it like a thing with popcorn so when we travel is the only time when he's watched on the screen on the like long haul flight he keeps quiet and he's just like so obsessed with it which is you know but like so how does it i mean lance being how long has he been away for he's been away so obsessed with it, which is, you know. But like, so how does it, I mean, Lance being, how long has he been away for? He's been away since July 1st. So a long time. And he's there till December. So when did the Olympics finish?
Starting point is 00:19:34 August 8th. So you're kind of crossing over. But you've been to see him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Robbie was with Lance while I was at the Olympics. And my mum was out there as well. And then when I came home, I was home for a couple of weeks and then I went out to Canada my mum came home and I was with Robbie it's just like a whole like scheduling thing right
Starting point is 00:19:52 a whole scheduling thing and it always happens that Lance and I both have like really important things to happen at the same time for example like in 2016 he went into production when I was at the Olympics yeah although he did fly out later for his production for that. Whereas in Tokyo, obviously people couldn't come anyway. So he was able to just get on with it. And it's just one of those things that even tomorrow, it's my book publication day. And it's the first day of his directing his episode. It just always happens at the same time.
Starting point is 00:20:23 It's just one of those things that we know that there's going to be certain weeks that are going to be really intense. Like for me, this week is a super busy week in particular, which is why my mum's up. Do you have a nanny as well? No. So we just do it by ourselves. Do you know, the thing about you, Tom, is that because we've all kind of grown up with you and we've all loved you since well i feel like i'm probably related to you in some way because i feel so proud of your achievements and i get worried when you've not when you were upset and you didn't get the medal
Starting point is 00:20:56 you wanted to get but do you feel that everyone feels they own you a little bit it's like i guess there's like a um I think obviously growing up in the public eye I've done like documentaries and little like things and it's always that the difficult thing was like kind of coming to terms with who I am and my sexuality in the public eye like lots of time you're very much allowed to just do your own thing and you figure it out and you know you tell your family or whatever but everything was very public and it was very difficult to kind of get around that but then it kind of moved to like a a whole new level of things as I've kind of gotten older and then gotten married and had a kid and I you know I try to I feel like I'm an open book like I share lots of stuff on social media through YouTube but what I share online
Starting point is 00:21:42 is kind of what I want to share online and everything else is like our sacred thing, like we don't show Robbie's face online because we just don't, you know, he hasn't had a choice in it and I just think it's, you know, sometimes it can be a little bit intimidating people waiting outside
Starting point is 00:22:00 the house at certain times and it's just easier just to Do you have people wait outside the house? After like and it's just easier just to do you have people wait outside after like big events and things are like big moments like when we announced we got engaged and when we had got married and when Robbie was born so it was like just little things not lots of people just but it's still a little bit like you don't want to just you just want to be a little bit cautious but you have talked a lot about your relationship with Lance in the book. I mean, it's almost like a, Oh my gosh. She's been like,
Starting point is 00:22:27 it's a love story in some respects about him. I told Jesse, cause Jesse hadn't read this bit about your first kiss with him. And you told him, was it the first kiss? Yes. Oh my God. You've got to show Jesse and tell Jesse what you did.
Starting point is 00:22:41 So mum tried to reenact it for me. It was very romantic. So essentially last I met, because I was having a tough time. Jesse and tell Jesse what you did so mum tried to reenact it for me but I think you'll tell it it was very romantic so essentially last I met because I was having a tough time after London 2012 and I was like I just was done with diving I was like I can't do this anymore I need to get away but it just so happened that it timed out when I was doing a uh like some filming for Nickelodeon in LA so went over to LA and a mutual friend invited us to dinner who was the mutual friend so a guy called Eric and like I brought some friends and he brought some friends and Lance was one of the friends that he brought and I walked in saw Lance there broad shoulders
Starting point is 00:23:15 wearing a red hoodie leather jacket like floppy like blonde hair and I just was instantly like oh gosh like who's that I didn't know who he was googled him at the table got kind of got caught and like my friend Eric told him and I was like oh my gosh what's going on this is a bit awkward anyway we met like we went out for a little bit afterwards and then he I put my number in his phone well his assistant came over to me asking for my number to put on his phone oh god I know his assistant was very cute, though. Even you haven't been sorted to that, darling. I mean, okay, okay, carry on. So, so after that, the next day, he, I said, like, let's, let's get a drink, because at the time. So, hon, you put the number in the phone, he texts you.
Starting point is 00:23:53 The next morning, yeah. Okay, so. I woke up to a text. Okay, lovely, love that. Yeah. And then. He's still texting. Still texting.
Starting point is 00:23:59 Yeah, exactly. He's still texting. Our phone's, like, going up in the corner. But then I, there there was the next day obviously in America drinking age is 21 so he wasn't allowed to have a drink because I was 18 at the time so I was so not as sexy okay fine I don't know I mean like that is quite young to know the one I broke all the first dating rules. Dating 101.
Starting point is 00:24:29 So when we met, we basically connected on so many levels because I was having a tough time after London 2012. Having the highs of highs and then kind of just was like, where next? What am I doing? I couldn't really talk to anyone because all my teammates, they didn't win a medal. So it was like me complaining about winning a medal, which didn't seem right.
Starting point is 00:24:43 Whereas then Lance started talking about him winning an Oscar and then the year after him having like a really low low and i was like oh my gosh like i completely get it and then he lost his brother uh to cancer and i had lost my dad to cancer and we connected on that level and then we just like you know talking all about that and we kind of really connected and then all of a sudden um i started talking about diving and i was like oh have you ever dived before? He was like, no. And I was like, oh, do you know how to hit the water?
Starting point is 00:25:08 And he was like, oh, and he kind of did the swimming hands on top, like, you know, streamline. And I was like, no, actually, what you have to do... Watch this. It's like, you have to put your hands above your head, like, your hands like this
Starting point is 00:25:18 and then put them above your head and I kind of was like, oh, no, you haven't got your arms close enough. And I kind of, like, leant in to, like, push his hands, like, closer. Oh, it's so romantic! This is, like, the most perfect rom-com yeah and then and then i let in and kissed him and i was like oh my gosh i can't believe i've just done this but then i was like you know what this uh
Starting point is 00:25:33 it's felt so right and i then had to leave the next day to go back to the uk and it was a long but i think it's about eight weeks before i saw him in person again, came over for my birthday and we went out for like, we were at the, I think it was the radio bar, you know, the Me Hotel in London. Is that the one in the old radio? Yeah, yeah, exactly. So we were up there for my birthday and I basically, you know, some drinks in.
Starting point is 00:26:01 I was like, I told everyone there that Lance was my boyfriend. And Lance was like, what's going that lance was my boyfriend and lance was like what's going on and then the next day we went for our first proper date where was that oxo tower oh my god yeah only because that was the only place i knew and i was my i had my 18th birthday there i love you were you already living in london bridge okay fine okay got it you've really kept in the same area babe haven't you i mean i do area. But I went, so we went on that first date and he asked me to be his boyfriend. Yeah. And I was like, okay, after some lychee martinis.
Starting point is 00:26:29 Yeah. And then the next day we went on another date. This time I think it was in Enamo and Soho. I remember that, yes. I think it's gone now. Yeah, I think it's gone. Died to death, yeah. Except Shane.
Starting point is 00:26:38 I couldn't really do outdoor dining with the thing. No. No. I enjoyed it though. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I love that. What year was this in? 2013. Yeah, I think this is when it was like. Jesse, he's very young. with the thing no no i enjoyed it though yeah yeah i mean i love what year was this in 2013
Starting point is 00:26:45 yeah i think this is when it was like jesse yeah that was jesse he's very young no i i know so we went for that night where i liked your martinis whatever that night he told me he loved me on this is on day two did you say the l word back i I did. Of course. And then, so Lance came over to the UK on a location scout for a film. Inverted commas. Yeah, exactly, in London. It was on a love scout. And I was like, okay, like, no, like, it was, yeah, let's, it's great, let's hang out. So then I was like, I have to go back to Plymouth because I have to, like, you know, get back into training and all that kind of stuff.
Starting point is 00:27:20 And he was like, oh, you know, I can come, I can come down to Plymouth too. I can extend my trip. To meet the mother. So then he comes down to plymouth everybody knew did they no what did he think of plymouth so he actually really liked it he said it was very charming and i don't know why he said this and he still says it to this day it reminds me of san francisco and i'm like it's nothing like san francisco i was like yeah it's not quite san francisco but i think he just meant the hills maybe um but so when we were in plymouth the first like day we came and had a barbecue and that was when my mum met lance jesus it moved very quickly very quick and then it was natural and then
Starting point is 00:27:57 hello cat um so then when my mum came over for the barbecue, I was like, what do you think of Lance? And she was like, oh, he makes a great burger. And I was like, you know, but what really? Like, because he'd made homemade burgers. Because I'm in love with him. And I was like, no, but what do you actually think of him? And he was like, oh, yeah, he's lovely. I was like, well, me and Lance are like together.
Starting point is 00:28:18 Like we're a couple. And she was like, oh, OK. Like, great. She was cool. She was totally cool. Like, if you're happy, I'm happy. I mean, had you come out to her before then oh okay wow it's all yeah okay this all the kind of happened very quickly but your grandparents my grandparents weren't so cool but like within that first week we also went on a bike ride in the camel trail and we named our children
Starting point is 00:28:38 and robbie ray yeah i'll be right children yeah we had a girl's name as well so when's the next one I mean that's the thing having another one we would absolutely love to have another one and it's I mean it's not as easy as a bottle of wine
Starting point is 00:28:52 and a good time for us but you know it's definitely something that we are wanting to do again but you could use the same
Starting point is 00:28:59 yeah our surrogate is amazing and you know same egg donor because the egg donor is different to the surrogate that we had was it done in America yeah done in America and you know our surrogate is amazing and you know same egg donor because the egg donor is different to the surrogate that we we had and was it done in america yeah done in america and you know our surrogate is so amazing where was your surrogate living in in the us in california oh so it was okay you could be there yeah so we were like we're able to be there about eight weeks
Starting point is 00:29:18 don't you we were there like because lance has a place in la we were there like early early and we were just you know it's a waiting game as well when like we were waiting for your job oh it was amazing it was like well first of all we we were in LA and we had to go like three hours south like down towards San Diego way but not quite as far and we got the tech oh it's happening at like four o'clock and we were in LA and we were like wait come on four o'clock in la trying to drive to down south was just and if you're a surrogate you've had a few babies maybe she had two she had a couple of her own and i think she's done it she's done like so potentially your buddy has muscle memory so therefore you may not have that long to get down to the three hours
Starting point is 00:30:00 we got there and it was a matter of like oh you know everything was okay we were like everything seemed really calm and we were like okay this is this is of like, oh, you know, everything was okay. We were like, everything seemed really calm. And we were like, okay, this is, this is okay. Like they were like, you know, go get a coffee. It could be a long night, whatever. So we go and get a coffee, come back up. And then like, it was okay. Right.
Starting point is 00:30:14 Let's get ready to put. And I was like, push now. Like, I was like, you know, obviously like internal. I looked at Lance. I remember thinking, oh my gosh, this is happening. Like we've been here for like not even 45 minutes and it's happening so you're lucky you didn't have to do fucking 24 hours babe oh not anyway carry on but then like 15 minutes later there's robbie and i remember seeing him for the first time and just think like just this like my mouth was like wide open like oh my like
Starting point is 00:30:42 like i just it was just like this holy and know, our surrogate was there with her husband and it was just such a beautiful moment. And she was just like beaming, looking at us whole, like, and I had first skin to skin and she was just like beaming and just like so happy and we were so happy and like there was no words that we could say to express to her how grateful we were to her for you know helping us create our family our family like there's there's no she's like our guardian angel in that sense and you know we are eternally grateful and forever grateful for her and she is just i mean she's just an incredible person and it takes yeah we're in touch all the time. Has Robbie met her? Yeah, lots of times. Like, whenever we're in California, we always meet up.
Starting point is 00:31:30 She doesn't actually live in California anymore. But we have catch-ups all the time. And whenever we're actually in the same place, we'll always meet up. It's been a while, like, because of COVID, that we haven't met up. But, you know, we FaceTimed and we've, you know, sent photos all the time. And it's... I think it's really important for us that we're super met out but you know we facetimed and we've you know sent photos all the time and it's it's i think it's really important for us that we're super honest super open and for for where robbie came from because we want him to know everything and um i think it's something that's really special to have i i don't know i think you know robbie for us is our little miracle
Starting point is 00:32:02 and it's you know as gay parents and same-sex parents, you just, you have to really, really super want kids to go through the whole process. And, you know, we just feel extremely lucky to be in the position we are with Robbie because he is just amazing. I think you should have a father. I mean, I'd love to have more kids.
Starting point is 00:32:21 I mean, you're young as well. I'd love to. Was your dad a young father? They got married at 21 and had me at 22 or 23. So my mum's 51. Christ. She's a spring chicken. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:41 I mean, your description of your relationship with your dad is so beautiful in this book. And it made me cry. And also that, I mean, you lost he was you were only 16 yeah he just sounded the most amazing man with his big flag oh my gosh he was that big flag you'd always know exactly where he was sitting wherever you were in the competition so big and i love that he's his ashes are in the diving pool not in the diving in the aquatic center where you put your water bottle yeah so uh so it was i don't know it was nice of them to do it's so sweet i can't remember how it came about but like my dad like in his last studio all he would talk about is london 2012 do we have tickets yet do we have ticket yet because it's a nightmare to get tickets as an
Starting point is 00:33:21 athlete like you just it's just really oh is it worth some guest list for the concert it's like we get two tickets if you per round you make oh that's obviously disgraceful but you don't get so mean and it's not necessarily the best tickets and you just like it's so like no wonder he needed a big flag if he was at the back they don't they like it would be amazing if they said how many tickets do you we want to pay for them of course but like how many tickets do you want and like at least give us the option to have but anyway they don't do that so we were worried about getting tickets my mum even had to not because i was under 18 just for when i had to sign the olympic forms she like was like i'm not going to sign them until i get tickets for me to be able to die um but we got tickets in the end she's right um but like my dad
Starting point is 00:34:03 didn't didn't we didn't have tickets at the time that my dad died and so we were constantly talking about it and it there was i can't remember how exactly it came up but in the end my dad was cremated and we had these ashes and we it came up that we could put them in like a little vault underneath the tiles at the bottom of the steps leading up to the platform of the olympic pool so turns and like parents are not allowed or any family members are not allowed anywhere near the poolside anywhere near like any not allowed to stay in the same hotel you know i don't go on the same flights as the athletes so to be able to for him to be able to be on poolside
Starting point is 00:34:38 during that whole moment was so special so i was able to put my drinks bottle there and i would just touch it every time like touch the tile yeah Do you feel he's there? Yeah I always do I always have like and I mean I talk about in the book about me feeling like I was very shut off from everything especially after my dad died I was very blinkered of go go go and I was very you know anxious to let anybody get too close to me and especially with Lance like I had these overwhelming feelings of like, oh my gosh, I'm in love, but I, this, I can't go down this road. It's too like, it's too much. It's dangerous if you've lost the person you love.
Starting point is 00:35:15 It's also dangerous, isn't it? Yeah. Like you, like, and I didn't talk about it with my brothers. I couldn't talk about it with my mom. And I just felt like I, cause I felt like I had to be the strong one. So to be in that position was really tough but then once we got through once I was actually I was in the Westfield Mall in Stratford with Lance and it's a moment in the book where we're going down the escalator and like he goes to put his arm around me and I'm kind of like tense up whenever anyone gets like affectionate or like and I and he's like what's wrong and I was just like I don't know and
Starting point is 00:35:45 I just felt like I couldn't let any love in like I was so I was so worried about letting love in because I didn't want to get heartbroken again and it was that time when I I kind of was just so talking about all of the different experiences and traditions that I had with my dad that we just stopped doing because we didn't want to like bring up the emotions and the, you know, missing him. So I ended up just speaking with Lance about that. And then all of a sudden it was, he just said to me, like, you have to let my love in, you have to be able to speak to me about these things. And why have you stopped having a, going to a Chinese buffet on your dad's birthday? Why have you stopped doing all of these different things that you used to do? What just, we can do those things.
Starting point is 00:36:30 You should keep his memory alive. You should be able to really enjoy those moments. So it's since then that I've been able to really kind of, because I mean, right when I didn't grieve at all, like after his death and especially not until after the Olympics. And I think it was after the olympics that i suddenly realized that i wasn't going to see him again and i had gone towards london 2012 and it was so intense and it was like this sudden realization that oh my gosh i'm never like he was just he was 40 so like it was kind of like believe 40 years
Starting point is 00:37:02 it was like it was one of those things that I was like, oh my gosh, I mean, I hope so that at one point in my life, I'm probably going to be older than my dad. And like, it was that really weird feeling of just this, I'm never going to see him again. Like, how is this going to, how is this going to go? How's this going to feel? And now I'm done with the Olympics. Where am I going?
Starting point is 00:37:22 What's my purpose? Because he was an immense character, wasn't he? Oh, he was. He was constant, practical j joker he was like his job he was an electrician so now actually my brother's one of my brothers is an electrician as well kind of and the other's a carpenter so handy for around the house to be honest um but very much kind of like stuck with the family trades so yeah what are some of those traditions like the chinese buffet that you did with your dad so every time like my dad's favorite thing was to go to a chinese buffet and the funny thing is i don't know why he would go to a chinese buffet because he would only eat
Starting point is 00:37:54 like he was so fussy with food it was like he would have like i think it was like crispy chili beef and um delicious isn't it crispy chili? Crispy chilli beef and Singapore fried noodles with onions. And that was all he would have. And so he would just go to the buffet and pile his plate up like that. I love that. And I was just like, you could just order that normally and it'd be fine. Where did you used to go for it? It was a place called Royal Garden in Plymouth.
Starting point is 00:38:20 Okay. Plymouth okay I need to ask you just check who else is texting for you Tom is like yeah yeah no that's fine I can take that back Sophie Lance very popular Tom. Lance has got two Christmas trees and a frog. Why is that? Because Lance is, so when we first met we started like communicating in emojis. I have a lucky monkey. Lance had a, that I take everywhere with me. Oh you have a lovely toy. Yeah exactly and then Lance, one of his uncles or someone gave him a little frog to put in his pocket on the night that he went to the Oscars as his like a lucky charm and then he won so then a frog became his thing so then i um we always became like frog and monkey and then we were just kind of like you know as you do when you're cute and dating at the time it's like oh it's like frog monkey so then that was kind of like a a thing that kind of stuck so then he had never heard the expression campus
Starting point is 00:39:25 christmas right oh so hence why i then put the christmas trees either side of the crowd because i thought that was funny but also on our wedding day that was what i gave him as like if that i gave him was i got him like a custom-made little frog on one like frog emoji on one side monkey emoji on the other and our date of what we got married on like in grace you're real romantic aren't you and you're sentimental i don't i love romance and little i make lance a scrapbook every year of photos and i keep train tickets and little things for christmas i want to go out with you yeah we all do and i'm old i want to go back to some more of those um traditions with your dad so we've got the Chinese buffet. Were there any other like food memories?
Starting point is 00:40:07 Did he cook at home? He would do a stir fry every Friday night while we watched Fort Boyard. Instead of going to the restaurant. Belinda Messinger. Yeah, I loved it. Who was it? Fort Boyard. Do you ever remember it?
Starting point is 00:40:19 Oh yeah, I remember it. It was a really odd, yeah, it was strange. It was like Crystal Maze, but in the middle of somewhere i was gonna say it's just like would you do taskmaster i mean i'd love i think i love any kind of those challenge you competitive time just a little bit we can't even play monopoly in our house the board gets not by me funnily enough my other brothers are very competitive when it comes to board games with robbie do you let him win? Or do you teach him how to win?
Starting point is 00:40:49 I mean, is it tough love? I mean, of course I let him win lots of times, but there are times where he was like, I'm going to get you, I'm going to get you. I'm like, ah, I got there first. Such a shit. Is everybody hungry? Yes, starving. Yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Yes, please, Mum. So, I love stir stir fry in fort boyard wow that takes me back to that's not is that a noughties or nineties i don't know whether that's like it's i think that's like right on the border yeah on the border but he also would make all kinds of different things like for example one year he got me a unicycle for my birthday right and because i was like learning how to ride it, I was like, I couldn't figure out how to do it and I would fall off
Starting point is 00:41:27 or whatever. So my dad made me like a unicycle like training like stability thing in terms of like, you know, like a ballet bar.
Starting point is 00:41:35 Yeah. But like a ballet bar so I could hold each side and like learn how to like hold my balance. And he would just make things. Okay. So if you're,
Starting point is 00:41:42 if you're not cooking. Yes. Which are some of your favourite spots to go and eat in London? Or get takeaway from? Because you're quite spoiled. From where you are, you probably get really good delivery. Yeah, you can get pretty much anything. Do you go to Borough Market?
Starting point is 00:41:57 Yeah, I love Borough Market. It's so great. So we go to Caravan round the corner. There's a caravan round the corner from us, and we go there all the time for breakfast. and lovely and the nice thing about where we live it's like it still feels it's london but it still feels like community they know what we like to have to eat and they know our coffees when we get there like it's just like little sweet things like that broccoli beans and potato dough from ours oh my gosh sounds absolutely fantastic so it might not be
Starting point is 00:42:25 so caravan's a spot that's just like you know where you're at yeah but is there any like um Bob Bob Rickard I've never
Starting point is 00:42:34 pressed for champagne yeah I've never been but it looks very fun it's great and that was where I went with my friends before we went to
Starting point is 00:42:41 O'Meara the night that basically was our big celebration night I had organised it before the night that basically was our big celebration night. I had organized it before the Olympics so it was either going to be celebration commiseration whatever it was something that I was looking forward to so we actually went for cocktails and clarages which was extremely fancy and you know lovely yeah but you know very fancy. I love that you go from Clarages to O'Meara. You get the full spectrum of London life. Clarages, Bob Bob Ricard, O'Meara. I love that you go from Claridge's to O'Meara. You get the full spectrum of London life. Claridge's, Bob Bob Rickard, O'Meara.
Starting point is 00:43:05 I love it. Oh my gosh, this food. Oh my goodness. You know what? So I wasn't at the Attitude Awards, but my manager said you did an amazing speech. But you also said that you were going to campaign. Yes.
Starting point is 00:43:22 It's like my, essentially, at last olympics there were more out athletes than ever before combined yeah so but there's still 10 countries that is where it's punishable by death yeah right so my whole thing was to try and stop any country that criminalizes lgbt people women people of color from ever hosting a major sporting international event because at the end of the day things like qatar world cup next year 2020 it's is it safe for lgbt people to go there no is it safe for women to go there on their own no and so it's like one of those things that it's so you know i don't understand i get following money to be able to host an event but there's like a balance to be had of you know safety for
Starting point is 00:44:05 so many people so i think it's really like important that you know i've been talking about it and i really want to action it and figure out a way of being able to speak to the heads of these you know organizing committees to try and stamp out because until they have like punishments in terms of not being able to host events they might actually start to consider the safety of their actual citizens because lots of people will think oh you know sports shouldn't mix with politics and all that kind of stuff but you know human rights are human rights it shouldn't be a political question so and if you're if you're born in a different place doesn't mean that you should be discriminated against so so i mean that could be something that you could do on your year well
Starting point is 00:44:45 so that's what i would i would love to be able to just kind of like you know travel to the places that need to travel to try and figure out what especially ahead of the commonwealth games next year it's commonwealth games next year and there's still so many commonwealth countries that criminalize gay people so it's really important to to me because when i was younger there was no one out and at the high the highest end of sport. Most people came out towards the end of their careers or after they had finished. So for me it's just trying to make it so... Will you start?
Starting point is 00:45:13 Oh, we can start. Yeah, start, start. It's also one of those things that you don't... Like little kids growing up, if they start to feel like they're less than or feel like they don't fit in of course they're gonna of course they're gonna stay away from sport you know mum this is very delicious it's so good it's very delicious did you i want to know did you have to be really strict with like your isolation with your family as well with in the build-up with the olympics yeah i was super how does it work it's difficult because my
Starting point is 00:45:50 mum locked down with us because she was actually in london when the announcement happened um so she stayed up with us and the thing was like in the build-up to the olympics you obviously have if you if we were to have tested positive at any point too close to the olympics it would have been over and we wouldn't have been able to go because i got covid in february and it was like the worst experience ever so and to if i had ever gotten that closer to the olympics it would have been like over i was out for eight weeks so like yeah couldn't breathe and talk couldn't like I was um I was hospitalized for the night and like it was really bad and I consider myself to be young and healthy and it was yeah it was really terrifying so are you vaccinated so now I'm double vaccinated um
Starting point is 00:46:40 and I've had it so I mean I haven't I haven't had touch wood. I haven't had any scares since. No, but you never know, do you? Did you all get it in the house? So Lance then got it. Did he get it as bad as you? Not as bad as me. But that was actually the first time that I'd probably watched TV
Starting point is 00:46:58 because it was, my mum had gone home. It's funny enough, she'd gone home like 10 days before, so she missed it. Well, that's good, I guess. She missed it and that was the first time we were like, both of us were like, absolutely. And we were like, oh my God, how are we going to look after Robbie? Like, I couldn't walk. One of the nights, I couldn't walk down the stairs.
Starting point is 00:47:13 Lance had to carry me. And it was like, it was really bad. Jessie, I struggled through. You made me do two podcasts. I know. We didn't know it was COVID then, did we? Because it was really early. It was really early.
Starting point is 00:47:25 It was kind of the January before it all came out it just wiped me out completely that's terrifying though isn't it did you get the cough yeah the cough is something and just wouldn't go away you're gonna have a bit more i mean if there's more going i'll absolutely have some more it was absolutely fantastic well this leads me on like when you're training do you have to be really strict with what you're eating because you're burning so many calories how does it work I have to be slightly strict
Starting point is 00:47:54 it's a balance sometimes I have to be super strict and sometimes I it depends what I'm doing in the training sessions of that day whether I eat more whether I eat less but generally I just have to be mindful of what I'm doing in the training sessions of that day, whether I eat more, whether I eat less. But generally, I just have to be mindful of what I eat. Although I'm burning loads of calories, it can very dramatically change the shape of my body.
Starting point is 00:48:15 And I've always had eating issues. At the end of 2011, just before the 2012 Olympics, I was told by our performance director that I had to lose weight when I was yeah that's just that it was a so then I was yeah so then I ended up having to lose weight I didn't really know how and there wasn't really a nutrition support team at that time yeah at the time it was like there was like budget cuts and there are there is now but it was like, then I had to figure out how to do that and then all I could do was look at fads online because I was like, just cut your calves, but then cutting calves when you're an athlete
Starting point is 00:48:52 is like so challenging. So then I basically struggled with body image for a very long time and I think it's surprising to some people because people are like, well, what are you talking about with your body? And but it was- You have got a perfect body. Yeah. Well, well thank you but you just have to have it on this place something you know how swimmers have kind of triangular bodies they've got tiny little hips
Starting point is 00:49:15 and then they've got really broad shoulders do divers have a different shape divers try have to be as small as possible to be as light as possible to move as fast as possible but be very powerful and i was always very much as someone who would put on muscle really quickly and change shape quickly whether that be bigger or smaller i could do both very quickly um but yeah it was just like a weird thing like i never thought about 17 it's a really hard time to be told that your body isn't the right yeah so then that was like a whole struggle and then i would feel guilty about what i'd eat and then had like spouts of bulimia and it was just it was just like one of those things i just didn't expect it like i'd never thought about my body in that way oh i'd never thought that people looked at me in that way so then all of a sudden if you're told that
Starting point is 00:49:58 you have to lose weight and you're fat and then you've got nowhere to hide as an athlete you go out there and you're like especially as a diver when you're not wearing anything it always I just felt super self-conscious all the time but then I ended up you know this last few years I've had great nutrition support around me and been able to figure it out but it's one of those things that you don't necessarily know how to adjust your body size especially when you like when you're growing up you can eat what you want and you don't change shape I never did I never could eat what i wanted me neither but i've just stopped caring i mean but when like when i was like younger i was not only growing i was also growing and an athlete so i was able to like i could just literally eat whatever whereas now like it's just
Starting point is 00:50:40 not the case but which is not why it's nice to have like that little break to be able to just kind of like ease off and now I do workouts because I like enjoy them and I do like classes rather than going and doing so what classes did you I've been doing like Barry's boot camp I love that oh Jesus so have you got another Olympics in you well I'd like to think so I feel like I'm getting better at the moment like it's like I know it's just like but at the same time it's like it was always the question of like do you keep going because but at the end of the day I think the last two months I've realized I actually enjoy it and I actually love it and I miss it it's only three years three years now that's quite good then isn't it yeah it's LA. Oh, I'm going to do it all. I can see you compete until you're 50.
Starting point is 00:51:28 Do six. The thing is, I probably could go to compete in another two Olympics. Would you accept not winning? But that's the thing. It's like being able to go there and be at your best. But your Lance was fantastic when you were so disappointed. Was it in 2016? Yeah, I mean, he's a filmmaker.
Starting point is 00:51:46 So he was like, you know, you're writing a very, your own story here. And you're writing a very good, very good book. And there'll be an ending for it. So, you know, funnily enough. But he said to me, after those Olympics, I went into 2016 thinking that it was going to be my chance to win an Olympic gold medal. And I was prepared physically, I was prepared mentally. I won the prelim with an olympic record and i was like you know this is going well going into the semi-finals the next day a complete disaster bombed out and why why does that happen it just stars didn't align it started in a lot it was just a complete you know
Starting point is 00:52:19 i'd never dived like that in my life it was like just something freak i don't know whatever it was and i remember just feeling so deflated so defeated just something freak I don't know whatever it was and I remember just feeling so deflated so defeated and just like I couldn't but like it was almost felt too horrible to be true and it was actually Lance after the competition that said to me you know what Tom maybe you weren't meant to win an Olympic gold medal today because maybe our future child is meant to see you win an Olympic gold medal that's what he said it was so beautiful did he do a good speech at the wedding oh Lance does good speeches wherever he goes he like Lance actually um he gave a speech after his Oscar and set a promise marriage equality for all and like that was his big thing that he wanted to be yeah he's very involved in the LGBT rights and he was
Starting point is 00:53:02 the one who helped sue and fight against um for marriage equality in the u.s and so he like kind of gave up lots of his film career after he won his oscar to fight for equality you didn't get married in the states you got no he didn't like he said at the time he wasn't necessarily in a relationship or like he was either single or like you know not necessarily serious relationships and like and he didn't see himself getting married like he was just fighting for it for other people so yeah we ended up getting married in the UK we haven't got married in the US but it's still like uh did your grandparents come in the end no not my not my grandparents on my mum's side did yeah but my grandparents on is it still not right um
Starting point is 00:53:41 so it's not necessarily right between like you know they it wasn't this the relationship between my mom and them is not great so then they it's not like it wasn't necessarily that they wouldn't have come because they definitely would have come it was more that they the it would have been like a bit of a didn't want it to be an awkward experience for my mom at the same time so you know since I came out and they weren't necessarily as accepting and I that took me by surprise I thought they were going to be the more accepting grandparents what would you think your dad would have said I don't think he would have cared he would have definitely taken the mick because that's just the way he was and that was just how he was about
Starting point is 00:54:19 everything no matter what anyone did whether it was good or bad whatever it was it was just his way he would always joke and be optimistic about it. Whereas, but now, like, my grandparents are very much always asking about Lance, always asking about, you know, like, so many different things. And at the end of the day, I named Robbie after my dad and switches after their son. So, you know, I want them to have a relationship. You know, at the end of the day, they're my grandparents. And I know that they didn't necessarily accept me in the first place
Starting point is 00:54:48 and they'd said some you know horrible things but at the same time it was very much like I want to I'm not someone that ever holds grudges I always want to try and fix things I always want to make things right so I went and saw them after the Olympics recently and you know they had like prepared like a
Starting point is 00:55:04 whole afternoon tea and all the family were there and it was really sweet um maybe baby steps it's just yeah and like i feel like now they like get it and also probably younger than me as well no uh they also like um had my cousin todd came out as well who is my dad's brother's kid. So they had another gay in the family, if you like. And this time, and they were, you know, it was actually really nice because his dad reached out to me and was like, look, Todd's just come out to me. How can I deal with him better than I dealt with you?
Starting point is 00:55:40 And it was just nice to know that they had actually thought, because they didn't come to the wedding either, like my uncle, because like they, I just didn't want any negative energy. And so it was like, it was really sweet that they were able to reach out and kind of be like, try and learn from the experience they have with me. And I think that's something that quite often, you know, there's a lot of cancel, you know, and, you know, my grandparents probably would have been like, you know, I would would have considered them like I can't believe that you're like the way that you said this and how it made me feel but then you also I also have to understand how that made them feel and you know they it's a it can be like a shock to everyone and it takes time and it takes a little bit of education and understanding and you know realizing that you know I'm still Tom it's just you know everything about me not you know, I'm still Tom. It's just you know everything about me, not, you know.
Starting point is 00:56:25 And if you can't share the most important thing and share who you are with the most people, the people that you love, you lose them in the way that matters most anyway. So being able to share and be open with your grandparents or whoever is really important, I think. important I think for dessert I've made roasted plums with creme fraiche and honeycomb crumb oh my god I don't know it's very good the crumb um would everyone like some I mean I'm game for some something that we ask everybody growing up you know we know about the Chinese buffet and the stir-fry um on a friday night was your mum a good cook is she a good cook what would you what would you be eating on a you know when you come in from a diving lesson or school what was on the table put it this way my mum calls me asking how to cook things so she makes an amazing cottage pie. Right. Chili. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:25 Spaghetti bolognese, you know, a pasta bake. Yeah. Lovely thing. Roast dinner. She's very good at roast dinner. Yeah. But, you know, I like to cook a variety of things. Yes.
Starting point is 00:57:36 And she, it's funny because when I was younger, like I didn't eat anything. I didn't used to eat fish. I didn't used to, like I wasn't like exposed to lots of things. So I used to consider myself to be a little bit fussy when i started going on diving camps but then all of a sudden there was nothing for me to eat like if i didn't eat this what was i going to eat when i'm away in russia or i'm away in china and they're blimmin serving all kinds of crazy things and i was just in so i just ended up having to try lots of things like oh that's not so bad oh this is okay my dad hated fish right that was like so we never had fish in the house if my dad went to anywhere
Starting point is 00:58:10 around the world he would always try and find an Irish bar because they would serve lasagna and he knew he liked lasagna and that was it so he would he only would ever order anything he knew he liked they would never be adventurous right and so it was actually once I started traveling i was like oh my gosh this food's really good like mommy needs to try this and she's like what is that and then we started to try more food so um and then i went to cookery school when i was 16 i went to ashburton cookery school for like we did like a six-week crash course of basic like kitchen skills and knife skills and did you love it i loved it so then that was when my like passion for food came and now i like experiment with food all the time and so you're doing you're
Starting point is 00:58:50 doing a cooking course like a year before you're about to do the olympics yeah while i'm doing my a levels and gcse's a levels and stuff about school i know you talk about school in the book and and people being bullies really yeah people didn't understand like how why I would do what I'm doing and how hard I had to work for it and like what I wore as my uniform and all of that stuff did it did it did you ever resent the choice that you'd made committing to diving I don't think I ever did because I always like my dad was always really like very good about you know just being there for me and same with my mum but like just being able to be like you know people are very can be mean and they were like it was you know they always would
Starting point is 00:59:37 say it was jealousy but I was like no it's not they're just they just are mean and I'm like and I was just like I just didn't really understand why it was happening to me at the time. And then it was like my guardian angel. I was offered to go to Plymouth College, which is a school in Plymouth that was for elite sports people. So it had swimmers. It was an elite swimming program, but I was the only diver there. It had modern pentathlon, cricket, lots of different sports. diver there had modern pentathlon cricket like lots of different sports and it was actually by the time I moved there 10 days before my GCSEs in year 10 and it was a different syllabus I had
Starting point is 01:00:12 to go on like a crash course to learn the whole syllabus and it was like a crazy situation. Was it international? No so it was I think it went from something like it was like Oxford to AQA or something I don't know there was some kind of like changeover so there were certain things in the syllabus that were different so I had to get through that and then I was going off to the world championships and then it was all of these different things that kept going but it was one of those things that go to a school where people understand what you're like the city like being an athlete they understood like the challenges that you face they understand all the different things that you have to go through with travel with missing school and I was just able to be an athlete and be a student at the
Starting point is 01:00:50 same time it ended up I think there were five athletes from my school in 2012 that went to the olympics in London 2012 mum the uh honeycomb is very nice homemade honeycomb I do like it it's supposed to be a bit more like a crunchy, but it isn't. Is that with like sugar and then you add like bicarbonate of soda? It's sugar and golden syrup. You add bicarb, but I didn't have a bigger, I didn't put in a big enough tin because I've never made it before. So it didn't go crispy.
Starting point is 01:01:17 I love it. No, I think I needed a bigger tin and it overflowed and I kept on having to poke it down because it was like quater mat. It was everywhere. It's really delicious, Mum. Good. I like honeycomb to be a bit chewy, though. Me too.
Starting point is 01:01:32 Do you? Yeah, I think I prefer that. It's like when you have a meringue and it's crunchy, you're like, I want to stop that chewy in the middle. I know, you want the kind of, yeah, elasticity. Now, which brings us on perfectly. Last supper. You've got a starter, a main, which brings us on perfectly. Last supper. You've got a starter, a main, a pud and a drink. Jessie, empty glass here.
Starting point is 01:01:53 We love it. You know, the funny thing is- Oh God, I just got a bit of bicarb. It's like fizzing in my mouth, mum. Oh, sorry. Oh, Jesus Christ, that was an interesting- That's probably- Got some popping candy.
Starting point is 01:02:03 That's like Heston Broom and- They're probably like popping candy. That's probably popping candy. That's probably how they make it. That was very interesting. Maybe they just put bicarb in it. Fucking hell. Carry on. So starter, I love sushi.
Starting point is 01:02:18 We go all kinds of different places to be honest. In California there's like tons of like Which ones are your faves? There's a place it's up it's funny because you have we go to the valley and it's a place that we always see I can't think of the name of it now but it's like very small hole in the wall like maybe like can fit maybe 15 20 people It's very very small but it's like so delicious sushi and it's one of robbie's favorite things as well he's like he loves sushi i mean he eats anything and everything what have you done to do that because mine is no telly and the i cooked everything
Starting point is 01:02:57 from day dot like i would on a sunday i would cook meals for the week and put them in pots and freeze them so that we could like defrost them and like it was i was a athlete dad like you know when you just prepare and you plan and there's routine i don't know so he now eats everything he like his favorite thing when he restaurants a mushroom risotto or a or a robbie robbie ray robbie ray honestly uh so starter some kind of sushi roll I love the sushi rolls That have got a little bit Of like sweet sauce
Starting point is 01:03:27 And like crispy onions on top You know not necessarily As traditionally Yeah And then I think Lance's enchiladas With chocolate mole sauce Mmm
Starting point is 01:03:38 Oh I've never done that It's so delicious Is it easy It's super easy You can actually make the sauce And like batch make it and freeze it so that you can have it. You're a real batch cooker, aren't you? The thing is, because then sometimes you're like, oh my gosh, we've got nothing in the house to eat. Oh wait, yes we do.
Starting point is 01:03:54 What sort of fridge do you have? Do you have like a big American fridge? Yeah, like a thingy one. Oh, that's what I want. So excited. We've got like magnets from all over from wherever we go, we collect magnets. And the whole thing is like mosaic magnets. Magnum.
Starting point is 01:04:09 Which we love. So yeah, so we've got sushi starter. Enchiladas. Chocolate enchiladas. Filling chicken. Like chicken, like it's like chicken and cheese essentially. Yeah. And then like they have like Mexican rice and a little bit of salad probably, like just
Starting point is 01:04:23 so it's like a full like plate. And some like refried beans, like just have like Mexican. So you've got sushi, you've got Mexican. And for dessert, I think like, you know, full on. Treacle. Treacle sponge. Old school treacle sponge and custard. If you'd have told me, I'd have done it for you, darling.
Starting point is 01:04:36 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. But like there's something about like, you know, school dinner, treacle sponge and custard. You can't beat it. Did you have a school dinners or lunch lunch box i would have a lunch box at my first school and then at my second school everybody had school dinners and the canteen had like all of these different things and each day was a different theme and had um uh or like salads fish friday did they have friday it was like friday what did
Starting point is 01:05:02 you have on your lunch box when you used to taste? Like either wraps or. No, what did you have on the front? What was the picture? Oh, I think it was, it was literally just like a plain black cool box. Oh, that's no fun. I know. I know. And what's your.
Starting point is 01:05:17 Robbie Ray needs a Paw Patrol. Yeah. He's got a Paw Patrol backpack. Tom, do you like karaoke? I do. Me too. I love karaoke. What would you say?
Starting point is 01:05:25 So whenever I go out with my friend Sophie We sing you know Do you do a duet? Yeah the American Boys A synchronised karaoke duet What Estelle? Yeah Estelle and Kanye West Oh I love that
Starting point is 01:05:35 I do the Kanye West I do rap I love that Although Sophie always like starts singing the Estelle bit And it goes on way longer than she thinks She's like Tom take over But it's such a good song. You'll be my American boy.
Starting point is 01:05:47 It's very good. That's the one, yeah. What was your first dance? Ellie Goulding, How Long Will I Love You. Did she sing it there? No. So I wish.
Starting point is 01:05:54 I imagine. She should have got in touch with Jessie. She should have sorted that one. Have you ever met her? No, I don't think I have. Does she not know that you were her first dance?
Starting point is 01:06:04 We never had the conversation. She'll know now. To text her off. Exactly. Oh, she'll be thrilled. She'll be thrilled. And it was also like
Starting point is 01:06:10 what the string quartet played when we walked down the aisle as well. It was, yeah, it was like the song that kind of was like, felt like it was our relationship at the time,
Starting point is 01:06:17 so. Um, Tom Daley, we could keep on chatting about, you're going to sign my book for everything. Yes, absolutely. I mean,
Starting point is 01:06:24 I, it's been so interesting talking to you and just thank you so much for coming over when i know you're in the thick of promoting everything and just um best of luck with the book are you a bit more relaxed now i think the funny thing is since winning an olympic gold medal compared to the bronzes that i'd won it i just have been in a different sense of peace and like you know happiness around my diving and i just feel but you seem very happy person a very positive happy person i think i consider myself to be quite a happy person you're not a negative person no i always try to see the positive i think yeah
Starting point is 01:06:59 i think i've lost too many people and like things like to be life's too short to be unhappy or hold grudges you just kind of have to enjoy it and live life while you can so a couple more Olympics yeah five more Olympics
Starting point is 01:07:12 okay love it love it Jussie do you think we can get the two tickets he's only on yeah exactly Tom Daley our very own
Starting point is 01:07:36 just kind of completely he's mesmerising he's mesmerising but he's so interesting so talented so committed so clever so cute He's mesmerising. He's mesmerising, but he's so interesting. So talented. So committed. So clever.
Starting point is 01:07:47 So cute. So beautiful. Yeah, such a wonderful conversation with a total stranger. It is a bit like Blind Date coming to our house. Yeah, oh my God, totally. You never know whether we're going to click, but certainly he was just my cup of tea. Really, really just loved how open he was just my cup of tea really really just loved how open he was and generous and and
Starting point is 01:08:08 philosophical and what a lovely i mean i think we all love tom daly don't we from what we've seen of him but he totally lived up to it we all feel like we know him yeah but he is absolutely lovely what a star yeah coming up for Up For Air. Great title. Yeah. It's out now. Congratulations, Tom. I can't wait to see what Tom Daley does next. Well, he's clearly got a lot of knitting on the end of his knitting needles. Thank you, Tom, for coming when it seems very busy and he's got Lance in.
Starting point is 01:08:47 Yeah, and he fitted us in. I know. I'm very touched. But yeah. I'm glad I could monitor his messages. Yeah. Prying. Prying, mother.
Starting point is 01:08:55 What's up? They kept pinging. Maybe that's something that we should always do. It's quite fun, actually. Offer to charge the phone just so you can get a little snoop into who's texting. Lance has just found. We will see you next week for more Table Manners. We are so lucky to do this podcast, to meet these people, to eat mum's food. And thank you for listening.
Starting point is 01:09:22 The music you've heard on Table Manners is by Peter Duffy and Pete Fraser. Table Manners is produced by Alice Williams.

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