Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S13 Ep 20: Julian Clary
Episode Date: July 6, 2022The Table Manners Live tour continues to it’s final destination: the world famous, London Palladium. And even better, on a Sunday night! With Lennie in full tour mode, it was an honour & complet...e treat to share our podcast in front of such a wonderful audience and with THE King of the Palladium, Julian Clary.Julian talks to us about what it takes to become a Palladium Hall Of Fame honouree (Lennie believes she is on her way), what’s eaten whilst playing poker with Joan Collins and pure nostalgia through broad beans!The perfect guest for the biggest Table Manners live show so far! This one will make you laugh x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Good evening! Hi!
Hi!
Good evening, London! How are we?
We're at the Palladium. This is amazing.
Thank you so much for being here.
I was a little sceptical about the London crowd.
Don't get me wrong, you're my hometown and I love you so much. But, you know, chi'n llawer. Ond, chi'n gwybod, weithiau gallwch fod yn rhywbeth o'ch ffwrdd,
ond rwy'n teimlo ein bod yn mynd i fod yn iawn heno.
Ond, gwelwch,
doeddwn i ddim yn meddwl mai'r cyntaf i mi fod ar y stagio
ar y Palladium fyddai'n ymdrin yma,
ond mae'n enwog.
Ond rwy'n gwybod pam ydych i i gyd yma, felly, os gwelwch. Ie, so please. Yeah, you don't even hide it, do you?
I know, I know. Four albums, forget about it. Brit nominated, yeah, it doesn't matter.
No, can you put your, yeah, all right. Oh, fuck, yeah, all right, it's coming, all right. Just
give me a second and I'll rev you up, all right?
Please, please.
She says her legs have gone to jelly.
She may have to be... Oh, somebody is fanning her backstage.
And our tour manager and production manager
are going to have to lift her on like Dua Lipa at the O2 last week.
But please give it up for my mother, the ever shy, coy, fantastic diva, Lenny Ware.
Wow.
Soak it up, Mum. Soak it up.
It's okay, because she can't actually see any of you.
I can't see anything. Nothing.
How did that feel, Mum?
Frightening.
Oh, please. Come on. Say hi toniol. O, os gwelwch chi. Dweud hi'n dda i'ch ffans. Helo, bawb.
Ydych chi'n rhoi'ch glasau ar?
Ydw, rwy'n ceisio gweld a ydw i'n gallu gweld. Nid wyf yn gallu gweld unrhyw un.
Ydych chi eisiau mynd allan i'r front?
Na, na, na, byddaf yn parhau yma, gweddwch. Rwy'n meddwl ei fod ar gyfer y gorau.
Felly, dwi ddim yn gwybod, y tro diogel ond yna roeddem yn gyd, roedd yn debyg yn y 90au.
Roedd yn cael gweld Joseph. Jason Donovan.
Roedd yn codi i fyny ac roedden ni'n sefydlu ar y peth cyntaf o'r cerffin. Mam, rwy'n ei wneud.
Os oedd gen i'r cyllid, byddwn wedi gwneud yr un peth. A byddwn wedi dod i fyny.
Gwneud ymddygiad. Byddai'n wych, darlun. Ond rydyn ni yma. Rydyn ni yma ar ddiwrnod
arbennig iawn i'r Palladium. Rydych chi'n gwybod mwy am y nos Sundain ar y Palladium.
Sundain ar y Palladium Llywodraethol. Rwy'n ychydig yn so Mae'n ddiddorol. Mae'n ddiddorol. Mae'n ddiddorol. Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol. Mae'n ddiddorol. Mae'n ddiddorol. Mae'wasanaeth o fwyd o'r tro mwy na dwi wedi gwneud yn fy holl bywyd.
Ac rwyf wedi clywed am chi'n gwneud gwasanaeth o fwyd o'r tro mwy na dwi erioed eisiau ei glywed.
Mae wedi mynd i Edinburgh.
Ie.
Ond Manchester.
Manchester.
Birmingham.
Ie.
A nawr London.
A nawr heddiw yn London.
Dwy nos yn London.
Felly, fyddech chi'n hoffi gwneud y tour eto?
Rwy'n gofyn am ddwy wythnos.
Ie. Felly, byddwn yn iawn ar ôl hynny. Rwy'n gofyn am ychydig wythnosau, dyna'r peth.
Felly, byddwn yn iawn ar ôl hynny.
Rwy'n hoffi gweld rhai gwych yn edrych aroch chi'r holl dydd, ond dydw i ddim yn gwneud hynny.
Mae ganddyn nhw'r tîm gorau. Maen nhw'n mor hwyl, ond mor gwych.
Mae'n rhaid i mi gael ei chyfnod rhywle.
Ond, beth bynnag, pan dydw i ddim yn gwneud chi gwneud gwasg o ffyn,
nawr, mae rhai sy'n rhesym i mam gweithio gwasg o ffyn,
oherwydd bydd y cyfle i chi eich bod yn gall wedi gwneud gwasg o ffyn. Oherwydd bydd y cyfle i chi ddewis gwasg o ffyn Lenni.
Mae'n rhywfaint o ddiddordeb.
Iawn, yna sut amser o gwasg?
Yn fawr, 15 neu 20.
Yn y llwyth y llwyth, byddwn yn dod i ddod o hyd i bwy yw ffan o ffyn o ffyn Lenni.
Felly, bydd hynny'n digwydd.
Dydw i ddim yn gweithio'n dda fel ym Mhyrmog. fan. So that will be happening. That really, that didn't work as well as in Birmingham.
What, the chicken soup?
Yeah, I feel like I'm done with it. Yeah, I'm done with it.
Okay, leave it.
But anyway, so that's going to happen in the second half. But first, the first half is
all about our guest, who you have no idea who it is, I do believe. No?
This person is a comedian.
A writer. A writer, an actor. A novelist. And probably has more makeup on than me, I think.
The best makeup I've ever seen. And he's often here. Well, every year he is here. Shall we get him on? The wonderful... Oh, I'm going to get the things off your hands.
Oh, yeah, the canapés. Come on.
Please give it up for Julian Clary!
Oh, yeah.
Hello.
Thank you.
Come sit down.
And they've actually matched tonight, too, which is... I've already got an issue.. Come sit down. And they've actually matched tonight too, which is...
I've already got an issue.
Don't sit down.
My mother told me I must never sit on a seat
that's still warm from the previous occupant.
Oh.
Oh, what?
Why?
Honestly, and I never have.
Why?
She said it was unclean.
Oh!
Oh. Sorry about that.
You can tell your mother that I'm perfectly clean.
Clean as a whistle.
Julian, thank you for being here.
The thrush has cleared up then.
Hello.
How lovely to be here.
Would you like a drink?
Just some water for now.
I've done lots of things on this stage,
but I've never sat down and been given water before.
Or eaten.
I've never eaten on this stage.
Well, look, we've got some canapés,
because what we've learned is that it's quite hard
to have a full meal in front of thousands of people,
whilst also answering questions about your childhood.
Anyway, so basically we have some canapés
that my darling friend Clara prepared for us.
They're Marks and Spencers, I think you'll find.
You know what, I do love a Marks and Spencers.
Oh, OK, thank you.
Did you see how Lenny has literally pushed alcohol on Julian?
I have had a hangover for the whole ten days. I'm exhausted, more exhausted Mae'n llwyr yn pwysio yn ymlaen yn Julian. Rwyf wedi cael ymgyrch ar gyfer y 10 diwrnod.
Rwy'n ymdrech, yn fwy ymdrech na pan wnes i wneud torri 6 wythnos yn America.
Oherwydd mae fy mam yn dweud, nid yw'n bwysig.
Jesse, rwy'n teimlo'n eich gwbl.
Nid ydych yn fwynhau, gweddill.
Dwi'n gwneud i bawb fwynhau.
Ydy clywed unrhyw un arall yn fwynhau yn y cyflwyniad?
Gwych, hyfryd.
Felly Julian, rydych chi'n gwybod y ffordd hon yn dda iawn.
Rwy'n gwneud hynny, ie. Rwy wedi bod yma llawer o amser.
Beth yw'r teimlad? Ydy pawb wedi cael ei ddynnu yn y cyflwyniad ar yr amser Cresmys ym Mhanto?
Wel, nid y plant.
Nid, mae'r math o ffyrdd, ond mae'n ffordd o fagwedd magig.
Mae rhywbeth yn digwydd pan fyddwch yn mynd ymlaen, rwy'n alw. stage something happens when you walk on I always find and I could have the
history of it and there's thing there's people watching over you I always feel
here didn't you it's gorgeous I don't want to shit on the Lyceum but I was
there yesterday I have to say I think the Palladium beats it
that's what I see him here yeah oh really really mean isn't it I shouldn't
be me you doing the tour of the West End as well? No, I took my daughter to the Iron King.
Oh, did you?
Yes.
I'm so sorry to hear that.
So, Julian, the podcast is all about food memories, family.
So, let's take it back to Surbiton, I believe.
Well, I was born in Surbiton and then I grew up in Teddington.
Okay.
Which is where your book is.
Where The Bolds is set.
The Bolds is set, yeah.
Which is, I thought I'd write about what I know.
So it was a suburban upbringing in the 70s,
and all that that involves.
It was quite a nice, happy upbringing.
Me and my parents and my two sisters.
Quite genteel,
and it was like a sort of magical world there
really when I'm writing the books for children the bolds I go back to that I sort of regressed
to being an eight-year-old on my bicycle so and and and what were you eating who was cooking
oh food yes um well my mother my parents were both working and I I can remember her Ie. Wel, fy mab... Roedd fy mab a'i bai yn gweithio ac rwy'n cofio ei fod yn swyddog arfer.
Felly roedd hi'n dod i mewn o waith am hanner i chwe hanner a dechrau peilio bwyd
cyn ei fod wedi cymryd ei llaw, oherwydd roedd popeth yn fyr yn y 70au, mae'n ymddangos.
Dwi ddim yn gwybod ydw i'n edrych ar chi.
Wel, rwy'n gweithiwr cymdeithasol hefyd.
Felly, ie, rwy'n teimlo nawr yn? Yes, so I feel now suddenly aligned with your mum.
Yes.
Yeah.
Peeling potatoes as well with my co-tun.
But you did a stint as a probation officer, didn't you?
Yeah, I did.
Oh, did you?
Yes, I did.
Whereabouts?
Pentonville Prison.
Oh, I think my mother might have done a bit of that.
I might have known her then.
Brenda Clary.
Oh, yeah.
You didn't fuck with her.
No.
Most of the probation officers you didn't fuck with either.
With food as well.
I remember there was food that was sort of quick and easy was her thing
because she was working.
There was a lot of stew, you know, those slow-cooked stew things.
Slow cookers, yeah.
She did one of those one day, and I think it was in the summer,
and it wasn't quite what we wanted to eat on a hot evening.
So anyway, we all pushed it round the plate,
and we didn't eat much of it.
I think it was a lamb stew, and she was cross.
So at the end of the meal, we'd all left it,
she grabbed the plate, scraped it all onto one plate like that.
She stood up, and my father was sitting where you are,
with an open-neck shirt. And she went like that. stood up my father was sitting where you are yeah with an open neck shirt and she went like that oh no she scraped all the stew down his shirt
I thought it was a scream so they were kind of a double act my parents she was
very funny and fiery which he is my father was kind of like the straight man
who had to put up with it all.
And that extended into the food and the cooking as well.
So is that where your humour stemmed from, then, your mum?
It was all about having a laugh.
And I didn't have a nice time at school, but I would save up funny stories or awful things that had happened to tell the family at the dinner table.
And that was where I got my payoff.
You know, that's why you've got a laugh. So, yes yes I think comedy has always been the escape for the Clary family so you went to school in
Teddington no I went to school in Ealing you moved then again no I got on a thing called a bus oh
it's quite a long way it was a terribly long way it was an hour and a half I had to leave home at
20 to 7 in the morning, I think.
And my mother would get my breakfast ready the night before.
I used to have half a grapefruit.
Were you doing like the Jane Fonda diet or something?
I just got a liking for grapefruits,
but she used to turn it upside down on the dish, you know,
so it didn't dry out.
And then you had it fresh.
Yeah.
I was quite happy.
But no, it was a lot it was a
long journey to an awful school full of benedictine monks oh my gosh why well because that's they
lived in the monastery no but why did they send you there i knew that... You just wanted me to ask you.
She touched me then.
Sorry, do you not want me to? I'm very touchy.
You're lucky she hits me.
I quite enjoyed it. OK.
Because I wasn't a very clever child,
but for some reason I passed the entrance exam to that school,
and it was considered to be a very good school.
But not a performing arts school.
It was. It was all cricket and rugby, and half of those monks are in prison now for oh terrible things yeah terrible
no they are and i i mean i was i was unsullied but um i wasn't god no but i was aware that it
was going on there was an air of something not quite right, you know.
So did you stay until sixth form, or you left as soon as you could?
No, I stayed to sixth form.
Do you know, I never played truant.
It never occurred to me, and now I wish I had.
No, I stayed to sixth form,
and then I went to Goldsmiths College, University of London.
So that was a much happier experience.
And that was like, suddenly I realised
there was life outside of St Benedict's.
So that was kind of where everything took off for me
and I started to think I could be myself.
What were you studying there?
Drama and English.
Wow.
Were you going to be an English teacher?
I didn't know what I was going to be.
I was going to... Are you still here? I was going...
It's difficult now. It's difficult to... I know.
I know, when you're telling a story to sort of include... I know.
She doesn't mind.
I've been a guest on Loose Women.
Have you?
Oh, fuck off, Julia.
No.
It's the same issue where you're trying to talk to all these awful women.
Slightly.
So you tend to pick one and tell a story to them, you see.
The one most awful, I suppose, so you're focused on me.
This is my better side, which I'm showing to the audience.
Mum hasn't learned about her better side yet.
No, but I know that Jessie always shows me to the other side,
so I know which side is good for her.
Yeah, you need to learn, Mum, and then we can fight over it.
You've got a nice symmetrical face.
Have I? Thank you.
I don't think you've got a dodgy side.
This is very nice of you.
So did you ever teach...
It's like a stroke and a slap with this one, yeah.
No, I keep wanting to touch him now.
But did you ever teach,
or did you just start performing straight away
I started doing a double act when I was at Goldsmiths called glad and May it was
me and a girl called Linda Savage and we were dressed up as two char ladies and
we would come on she would say I'm sorry so we had like head scarves Cleaning ladies. Oh, okay. Did you know what she... Yes!
Sorry.
Jessie!
Sorry.
Okay.
So we had like head scarves tied up like that.
Yeah.
And we would come on and she would say,
hello, I'm glad and I'm glad to be here.
And I would come on and say, hello, I'm May and I may be glad to be here.
Anyway.
What happened to glad and May? Well, we carried on doing it for a while Felly... Beth ddigwyddodd i Glad a Mae?
Wel, fe wnaethon ni symud ymlaen yn ystod amser, ac yna fe wnaethon ni symud ymlaen pan fyddwn ni wedi gadael
y brifysgol.
Ac yna fe wnaeth Linda swydd gynrychiol.
Roedden ni'n ei wneud i gael ein cartrefi cyfrifol ar yr adeg.
Ie.
Ac yna fe wnaeth Linda swydd gynrychiol, ac rwy'n rhywbeth yn lluio ystod y stori yn y tu hwnt.
Ond, mewn gwirionedd, fe wnaeth hi fynd allan a gwneud rhywbeth arall.
Felly, roeddwn i ar fy mhrofiad fy hun, felly fe wnaethon ni symud ymlaen. Felly, yna fe and did something else, so I was on my own, so I carried on.
So then you were reinvented as what?
Then I was reinvented as an act called Gillian Pieface.
Did it involve pies in the face?
No, Gillian Pieface was a spiritual healer.
She was an agony aunt and a spiritual healer,
and I used to wear a long black caftan,
and I would go round the audience,, I would find a man, let's
pretend it's you, and I'd say I'm going to try and help you by doing the laying
on of hands and I would do this and then I'd say no I'm not getting through and I
would lift up my kaftan and put it over his head and much hilarity would ensue with the ac fe wnaethon i fyny'r cafftan i fyny'r cân i fyny'r cân ei hun.
Ac byddai llawer o ddiddordeb yn ymwneud â'r silwet amlwg o'r cân yma ar fy nghym.
Felly, fe wnaeth hynny symud i'r fanclwb Joan Collins. Rydym wedi clywed am hyn.
Iawn, nawr, ddweud wrthym mwy.
Ar hyn o bryd, roedd gen i ddog bach o' little dog called Fanny, who was a little performing dog,
so she would come on stage with me
and do her impersonations of...
Joan Collins?
The Pope.
Oh, the Pope.
Why the Pope?
Well, she had a gift.
A gift.
Her Queen Mother was very, very good.
It was uncanny.
She would sit on a bar stool next to me and I would lift up her gums. Roedd ei mab dynol yn dda iawn. Roedd hi'n ddifrifol. Fe fyddai'n eistedd ar y storfa bar y tu ôl i mi a byddwn i'n codi'i llythyn.
Mae hi'n gwych o ddwylliau.
Fel mae'r mab dynol.
Yn ystod y fanclwb, Joan Collins...
A fyddai eisiau i chi ddweud unrhyw storïau am chwarae polio?
you'd like to tell us any stories about playing poker, which, I don't know,
did Joan Collins see this
show, and did that lead on
to you playing poker with Joan Collins? I know
that you play poker with Joan Collins. Well, you did.
No, I do now. You do?
I do. So did she see the act?
No, she was offended
by the idea of someone using
her name in the interest of
Light Entertainment, so I got a letter from
solicitors saying, you can't call yourself the Joan Collins fan club fair
enough I suppose like if someone was using your name well was it there I mean
when I met her you know 15 years later I did persuade her that it was a kind of
tribute act did anyone see the Joan Collins fan club here? Oh really? And was it a tribute act? It wasn't really about Joan at all but Joan was the most famous woman in the world at the time and she wore a lot of makeup and so did I and it sort of all it came to me in the bath actually I was in the
having a bath and I heard the theme music to Dynasty come on the TV and I thought aha that's
what I'll call myself and um anyway when I did meet her on doing some daytime show she came on
in in I'd done my interview Joan came on and sat next to me, quite frosty. And she went to shake my hand. And I said,
please don't touch me, because that was my catchphrase at the time. She didn't know it
was a catchphrase. She thought I was being minty. Then they said, we're going back to part three
now or something. So I didn't have time to explain. So, you know, it was all a bit uncomfortable.
Roedd gen i ddim amser i ddarganfod. Felly roedd pob peth yn anodd.
Yn 10 mlynedd yn ôl, roedden ni'n cael ein castio...
...yn pantomain ar y lle'r enw Birmingham.
Yn Birmingham?
Yn ysgol.
O, ffwrdd.
Rwy'n falch iawn am Birmingham.
Roedd hi yn y gweithgaredd nesaf.
Yn ystod ystod, i ddod i'r stori hir, fe wnaeth hi ddod i ffwrdd......a ddod yn ffrindiau. Roedd hi'n ei ddysgu i chwarae pwca. And she was in the next dressing room. And eventually, to cut a long story medium length, she thawed out and we became friends.
And she taught me to play poker.
Is she any good?
She's ruthless, as you'd expect.
How much do you pay for?
We pay for kind of money, but not hundreds of pounds.
We played the other day.
I lost 40 pounds.
That's all right.
And what's the snacks situation there?
Whoever's hosting provides the food.
So I was hosting the other day.
OK, so what was the spread?
The spread...
I don't actually know if you're a foodie yet or not.
We're finding this out.
I'm a terrible cook. I can't really...
But I do make an effort if Joan's coming.
Oh, right. OK.
Then you say, I just threw something together.
It's about the poker, really, so the food's not that important.
There are nibbles, you know, peanuts,
and what do we have, those tortilla things?
Tortilla crisps.
With what?
I didn't provide a dip.
Oh!
No, we just...
Oh, Julia.
God, I'd have been careful with my veneers.
I'd have been very worried about that.
Joan's got her own teeth, but you don't want...
Dame Joan does not want guacamole running down her very expensive blouse.
So she likes a dry...
A dry...
I don't even know if...
Now you're talking I'm gonna make a note of that
and then we moved on to was chicken or salmon with salad no no but snacks okay
and then they then we stop after an hour or two
and have something to eat,
like salad with salmon and chicken.
And then Marks and Spencer's do a very good chocolate mousse.
And Joan's very keen on chocolate mousse.
Is she?
Yes, if you ever lure her around to your place.
Well, must try.
We've tried.
We've tried. Put in a good word, please, Jim. We'll see how the your place. Well, must try. We've tried. We've tried.
Put in a good word, please, Jim.
We'll see how the next, you know, 45 minutes go, but yeah.
So, okay, so you have a chocolate mousse, M&S chocolate mousse.
So what does Joan make for everyone?
They send that for pizza when we go to hers.
Oh, that's push.
They're very nice pizza.
Nice, yeah.
I don't think she's ever been in a kitchen
for the last 50 years.
So back to you and family and growing up.
So the shoe down your father's shirt is a memory.
Yeah.
But did you like your mum's food?
Yes.
No, she's very good.
It was the 70s. It was sort of 70s type food
there's potatoes and vegetables and something you know um and but you can't cook so you weren't
inspired at that age i've got no interest in cooking and neither is my husband so so do you
eat out a lot we know we do cook you do. I don't like eating out particularly.
Oh, really?
And I don't like food being delivered.
I don't like it, really.
No cooking and no eating out.
Having food delivered is common.
Oh, you mean a common.
Takeaways are common.
Yes.
I agree, actually.
So you don't have Deliveroo on your apps?
Hmm?
Oh. Oh.
Oh.
So, OK, so...
OK, so do you eat?
No, we do.
We eat quite healthily,
but it is like salad and salmon or smoked salmon
and something that's quick.
OK, not fat-free.
I don't like following recipes.
Do you still have that grapefruit in the morning?
No, I don't. I moved on to... brisgwyl a'r yoghurt.
Fel Catherina Zeta-Jones, a oedd unrhyw un yn gweld y Instagram lle roedd hi'n cyrraedd eich diwrnod?
Nid.
Mae hi'n cael ddwy gwaith yn y flwyddyn.
Y flwyddyn?
Y flwyddyn.
Y flwyddyn.
Mae hi'n cyd-dwy gyda'r misau mlynedd a'r flwyddyn a'r wythnosau. In a year, yeah. She alternates with the spring and summer months and the autumn and winter months.
And it's essentially the same thing, but one is berries with porridge and one is berries with yogurt.
And this took her 10 minutes to discuss on an Instagram.
Like it was vital. I mean, actually, I've just shared it with you.
So it was kind of vital information, but yes.
So much, yeah. Are you going to add a few raspberries in there.
She's probably copied him.
Yeah, she's inspired.
Sometimes I've rasped, but I always go back to the blackberries, that's the thing.
I think they're a super food as well, aren't they?
Yeah, absolutely.
Oh, by the way, we have this very clever technology where you can message asktablemanners.com.
So if you have any questions for Julian whilst we're up here for the first half, please send yw messageasktablemanners.com. Felly os oes gennych unrhyw gwestiynau i Julian ar hyn o bryd, ar y hanner gyntaf, gadewch i'w anfon ac fe wnawn ni geisio gofyn rhywbeth.
Yna byddwn yn gwneud ein cyfnod ar y hanner gyntaf. Felly sut fyddwch chi'n cael y cwestiwn?
Mae gennym iPadau a fyddwn yn eu rhoi. Dydw i ddim wedi cael nhw yma. Ie, maen nhw'n dod ymlaen.
Iawn, iawn. Ie. Yw rhywun yn dod ymlaen? Ie, Steve, un o'r bobl i mam. Y tŷl man yn y t-shirt.
O, rydych chi'n ei hoffi? Jonathan, rydyn ni'n eich gael chi in the T-shirt. Oh, you like him? Jonathan, we'll have you out, please.
Thanks.
Okay.
That's Jonathan.
He is cute.
Is that Jonathan?
I love Jonathan.
No, I'm happily married, you understand.
Yeah.
Someone's got to bring them on, haven't they?
So you didn't marry your husband for his cooking?
No.
More his dog sitting, actually.
Oh, is that how you met?
No, I met him on a yacht in Ibiza.
Oh.
Fancy.
Yes.
I thought he was a waiter.
Because he was tall and thin.
And I thought, oh, I'll see if I can maneuver him into the broom cupboard.
Did you?
No, he was actually working in Ibiza. Andid fel gweithiwr, ond yn rhedeg llwythoedd.
Nid yw'n hoffi siarad amdano, felly...
Iawn, ni fyddem yn siarad.
Felly, yn unig, fe wnes i'w gael ar y llot.
Ie. Felly, ydych chi... Ydych chi'n cael unrhyw llefydd yng Nghymru y byddwch chi'n ei ffodd?
Ydych chi'n byw yng Nghymru?
Rwy'n mynd.
Ydych chi'n hoffi bwyd allan mewn unrhyw llefydd yng Nghymru?
Rydyn ni'n mynd drwy ffases, yn eithaf fel y Dylorni. O, ryd We go through phases, quite like the Delaunay.
Oh, I love the Delaunay.
There's a place in Primrose Hill called Odette's.
Oh, I love Odette's one.
Yes.
It's been going 100 years.
It has.
Yeah.
So we quite like that.
And, or anything Japanese?
No, boo.
Not just now, thank you.
But you must have loved lockdown then, because you don't like really eating out. Mae'n ddiddorol. Mae'n ddiddorol. Mae'n ddiddorol. Mae'n ddiddorol. Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol.
Mae'n ddiddorol. Mae'n ddiddorol. Mae'n ddiddorol. Mae'n ddiddorol. Mae'n ddiddorol. did get bored in the end. I've got to ask you about Just a Minute.
It's one of my favourite programmes.
Is it scripted?
No, it's not scripted. You get the subjects in advance.
Oh, you do, so you can practice.
It doesn't really help. All I do is you think of the first line
just to get you started
because the things that are going to
trip you up are the hesitation and the repetition.
You can't actually learn a whole minute of faultless script.
But you are very good.
Well, thank you.
Yeah, I think you are.
Do you have any tricks that help you get through the minute?
Don't pause.
Sometimes you get a laugh,
but you mustn't pause to receive your laugh
because you'll be buzzed because that's considered a hesitation.
That must be quite hard as a comedian.
It's unnatural, so you have to talk through the laugh
and kind of stream of consciousness.
Don't think about what you're going to say.
Just kind of do it.
Keep going.
Keep going.
Felly, Julian, rydyn ni'n gofyn i'n holl gwestiynau beth fyddai eu bwyd diwethaf. Ie.
Ydych chi'n barod am hyn?
Rwy'n credu fy mod i wedi'i ddweud amdano.
O, na, wel, iawn.
Roeddwn i'n meddwl amdano amdano pam fyddai'n bwyd diwethaf fy mod i wedi'i ddweud amdano.
Wel, beth fyddai'r sennario eich bwyd diwethaf chi wedi'i ddweud amdano?
Wel, byddwn i'n meddwl y byddwch yn mynd i'w marw os yw'r bwyd diwethaf yn ei ddweud.
Ie.
Ie.
Ie.
Ie.
Ie.
Ie.
Ie.
Ie.
Ie.
Ie.
Ie. Ie. Ie. Ie. Ie. Why is it my last supper? Well, what had you imagined your last supper scenario to be then?
Well, I'd imagine you're going to die if it's the last supper you're going to have.
Okay, try to stop doing that.
You're not going to be literal and be like, I wouldn't have an appetite because...
No, I'm not.
But I'm sort of going to be literal because back in the 80s,
I once went to a party and someone gave me opium.
And it was so lovely.
Was it? Yes. it was so lovely. Was it?
Yes.
It was so lovely, I thought I must never touch this again.
So you might.
But if it was the last supper...
Oh, my God.
That's it.
I thought I'd had opium.
Opium?
Yeah.
And I don't know if you can eat opium, can you?
How did you have it the first time?
Oh, I'll tell you.
Someone got out a big skin, which is a cigarette paper.
Okay.
And it was in an oil form,
and you spread the opium on the cigarette paper,
and then you put tobacco in, and then you smoke it,
and the rest is a blur.
But it lasted quite a long time.
Would you have a meal and that as your dessert?
Or would you start and then...
Well, I might have some soft-shell crab.
OK.
Love that.
Do you like it deep-fried like a tempura?
Yes, I do.
Me too.
Yes.
With an opium chaser.
Lovely.
Lovely.
What would be your drink of... Oh, you won't be chi'n gwneud y opium gwaith.
Dwi ddim yn gwybod.
Dwi'n gallu cymryd y cymorth.
Iawn.
Ym, rôzê gwyn.
Rôzê.
Rôzê.
Rôzê.
Rôzê.
Rôzê.
Iawn.
Beth yw'ch ffavourit?
Wel, mae'n rhywbeth o'r cliché ond...
Gwysgwch.
Gwysgwch.
Gwysgwch.
Gwysgwch.
Gwysgwch.
Gwysgwch. Gwysgwch. Gwysgwch. Gwysgwch. Gwysgwch. but whispering angel of the moment. They ran out today. Jonathan couldn't get any.
That's on Mum's rider.
She thinks she's bloody Joan Collins
and she's got it on her rider.
And they couldn't get you any.
No, he said they ran out.
That's awful.
I'll bring a bottle.
Poor show, actually.
The big one.
That wasn't my Jonathan, was it?
It was Jonathan, actually.
It's your Jonathan, yeah.
Good spanking for him.
Yeah.
Mae'n Jonathan, ie. Mae'n dda i'w ddynu.
Felly, yr hyn sydd gennym ni ar hyn o bryd yw crabs ysgolion, opdych chi'n hoffi Pavlova? Ie. Beth ydych chi'n hoffi eich topin?
Dim ond straberiaid, neu blatberiaid, neu...
Ie, beriau, rwy'n meddwl.
Beriau.
Ie.
Nid frwt pasiwn neu...
Wel, ie, nid yna, ychydig o hynny ar y top, bydd yn dda.
Ie, ychydig o grwntio, ie.
Ydych chi'n hoffi trifle?
Nid yn fad ar trifle.
O.
Rwy'n gwneud y gwaith.
Roedd hynny'n anghymryd, yna.
O, ydy'n eich gwaith? Roeddwn i'n ei wneud, ond mae'n rhywbeth oherwydd... O, pa mor anodd, rwy'n teimlo'n ddrwg. mad on the child that was a mistake I made it but it's a bit just oh how rude
I feel doesn't matter at all because I think we made no I think we were going
to struggle to eat those if you would like anything well it's difficult to
talk and eat I know that's what we've done or actually, I think.
Greeks manage to converse, eat, smoke...
What are these ones, do you think?
OK, so that's crab.
That's crab with avocado and lime in a corn pastry cup.
I'm going to go for one.
I'm going to go for one, actually.
I don't know if it's healthy or safety.
I would offer the man, hold on a minute. I said to her, we need things that don't know if it's healthy safety I would offer the man I said to
her we need things that don't crunch is that crab actually I'm masticating oh
god oh god yeah that's roast beef I think this is lovely Alice Mae hwn yn Alice, dwi'n meddwl. Mae hwn yn Alice, dwi'n meddwl. Mae hwn yn Alice, dwi'n meddwl. Mae hwn yn Alice, dwi'n meddwl.
Dwi'n meddwl.
Dwi'n meddwl.
Dwi'n meddwl.
Dwi'n meddwl.
Dwi'n meddwl.
Dwi'n meddwl.
Dwi'n meddwl.
Dwi'n meddwl.
Dwi'n meddwl.
Dwi'n meddwl. Suga, ble ydyn nhw?
Mae hyn yn olaf i Katharina.
Beth yw'r foment gorau yn eich gyrfa?
Wel,
gadewch i mi feddwl.
Yn ôl,
a wnaethoch chi sylweddoli,
wrth i chi ddod i mewn i'r drws sgâd,
roeddwn i'n mynd i ddod i'r sgâd
i ddod i'r drws sgâd.
Rwyf wedi meddwl yn well am hyn. Mae yna dŵr ffyn o'r Palladium gyda phobl...
Felly, roeddwn i wedi cael fy ngwlad ar y dŵr ychydig blynedd yn ôl ac...
Diolch.
Rhaid i chi...
Rhaid i chi fynd ar y dŵr yn unig os ydych chi wedi'i nodi ar y Palladium tri gwaith neu rywbeth.
Felly roedd hynny'n rhywbeth o ddychmyg. A ar ddiwrn'n dda. Felly, mae'n dda. Felly, mae'n dda. Felly, mae'n dda. Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda.
Felly, mae'n dda. Felly, mae'n dda. Felly, mae'n dda. Felly, mae'n dda. Felly, mae'n dda. oedd yn unig arall na Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber. Waw!
Ac fe wnaethon nhw ddod i fyny, yn edrych fel os...
Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu.
Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu.
Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu.
O, fy mhrydrwydd.
Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu.
Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu.
Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu.
Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu.
Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu.
Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu.
Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu.
Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu.
Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu.
Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu.
Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu.
Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu. Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu. Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu. Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu. Roedd ganddo'r gwaith i'w ddysgu. Roedd gnny'n ddiwrnod arbennig. Mae hyn yn ddisgyblio. Mae hyn yn olaf. Julian, beth oedd eich syniad i chi ei alw'n fanny?
Dwi ddim yn cofio. Roeddwn i'n 21 pan ddod i'r fanny.
Gwnawch chi, dwi'n dweud.
Roedd hi'n edrych fel un, rwy'n credu.
Roedd hi'n fath o ddwylliant. Y, rwy'n meddwl. Pan wnes i edrych ar ei ddau, roedd yn fath o ddau sy'n ffasiwn.
Ychydig o ffansiwn.
Mae hyn yn ddim i chi, ond mae Anonymous yn dweud,
dweud, ddangos i ni, Alex.
Yn y ffaith, dyna fy mab, y doctor.
Jesse.
Mae'n yma heno.
Ond anonynus.
Dydw i ddim yn cael fy modd i siarad amdano,
ond rwy'n ceisio gwneud ei fod yn y person mic yn y llwyth y second half. Alex, rydych chi wedi clywed eich ffans. Rwy'n credu bod gennych chi sw him be the mic person in the second half. Alex, you've heard
your fans. I think you've got a job
in the second half.
So,
Julian, who have you met and been
completely starstruck by?
Oh,
Cilla Black. I was quite...
Oh, really?
Yes. Oh, and also, Sigourney
Weaver. Years ago, I did... do you remember the Michael Aspel show?
Yes.
It was a kind of chat show, I was on that with Sigourney Weaver and she was talking about that film.
Alien.
No, Gorillas in the Mist.
Oh, I loved that film.
Very similar.
Yeah, it was lovely though, a lovely film.
Yes, but she just had, because I haven't met many kind of film stars.
She's got this aura, you know, like film stars have.
So can we talk about the books, the Georgians' books?
Oh, yes, yeah.
Is there food involved with these hyenas
that have come to live in Teddington?
What are they eating?
OK, well, in case people don't know,
it's a family of laughing hyenas
who've decided to come and live disguised as human beings in Teddington.
Yeah.
As you do.
Oh, wow.
Yes.
And they...
So they have to curb their hyena ways.
You know, what they would like to do is go out hunting,
but they realise that that's not how human beings live,
so they have to go to the supermarket. But they do go out and rub their bottoms against the gatepost Ond maen nhw'n sylweddoli nad yw hynny'n ffordd byw pobl dynol. Felly maen nhw'n rhaid mynd i'r bwydau.
Ond maen nhw'n mynd i'r ffordd a'u llwythu o'u llwythu o'r gwrth-dwylo...
...nid oes unrhyw un yn edrych.
Oherwydd dyna beth mae hyenw'n ei wneud i ddod yn eu terryfi.
A...
A yw yna llawer o bwyd yn y llyfr?
Maen nhw'n mynd i lawr ysgol hefyd a'u bwydo'n gadael.
Felly, oes dim llawer o bwyd yn ymwneud â hynny. Nid yw'n stori
o ran fwyd. Ac pa amser yw'r stori? Mae'n i, dwi'n meddwl, mae'r cyhoeddwyr yn dweud 5-10,
mwy fel 7-10 mewn gwirionedd. Mae'n amser gwych pan fydd plant yn cymryd y prymys, chi'n gwybod,
heb ofyn iddo. Ond, cwm, nid yw'n gwneud hynny.
Rydych yn dweud eu bod yn hyenwadau.
Gwthiwch y ffyc.
Ac maen nhw'n ddiddorol iawn.
Maen nhw'n cael eu enw'n ddiddorol.
Maen nhw'n ddiddorol iawn ac yn helpu dynion eraill
sydd eisiau symud i fyw fel dynion dynol hefyd.
Felly maen nhw'n eu hyfforddi sut i ddysgu'u fforddau dynol...
...a chydweithio ar ben ychydig...
...a defnyddio'r toalet, gael swydd...
...a'r holl bethau y byddwch amdano.
Mae llawer o'r llyfrau hyn yn y bwl.
Rwy'n eu codi'n ymlaen yn ystod y flwyddyn.
Ydyn nhw'n clywed?
Yn siwr, ydyn nhw. Beth fydd y haennau'r mam hyena'n ei fodloni? Do they wear clothes? Of course they do, yes. Okay.
And what's the mummy hyena's hair like?
Well, she wears hats to disguise her hyena ears.
Her ears, yeah. She's got fur, of course.
Yeah.
But she makes hats out of unusual things
like birds' nests and egg boxes,
and she's got a stall at Teddington Market
where she sells them.
Mr Bold has a job writing the yn ysgrifennu'r sgwyddoedd rydych chi'n eu troi mewn Christmas Crackers. O, beth o waith da.
Oherwydd roedd angen swydd i'w ddysgu'r ffaith ei fod yn sgwyddo'n hollol amser.
Maen nhw'n cael ddwy ffrindiau, Bobbi a Betty,
sydd yn ysgol ac yn mynd i mewn llawer o anodd,
yn bwyta cyfweliadau yn y gwleidyddion ac y math hwnnw. who are at school and getting into a lot of trouble eating pigeons in the playground and that sort of thing.
Food! There you are.
There you go.
Kirsty has said,
how much opium did you smoke before you wrote your book?
She hasn't said that.
Because have you ejaculated for that question?
No, what I do when I'm writing these books for children
is regress to being a child myself, of course.
I made the original story up when I was about eight,
looking out of my bedroom window at the family next door
who were laughing in the garden.
And the man took his shirt off and he had a very hairy back.
And I became convinced that we had a family of wild animals yn y gartain. A chafodd y dyn ei chert arno ac roedd ganddo dŵr goll mor haidd. Ac fe ddod i'n cymwyso bod gennym ni ddynion bywyd bywyd bywyd yn byw y tu ôl. Felly, dyna'r stori a wnes i ei greu.
Beth gyflym.
Julian, mae gennym rhai cwestiynau mwy i chi. Pethau bwysig iawn, yn amlwg, mae'r
hwn yn gyfrif gwybodaeth amgylcheddol iawn ar gyfer y series nesaf.
Beth yw'ch ffavorit ffyn snack, Julian? And that's from Callie.
My favourite snack? Well, it depends what mood you're in.
Sometimes I like
an apple.
I like those.
There's one in my dressing room
that you've very kindly put there,
or one of your minions has.
It's probably Jonathan.
Nut bar.
Oh, Jonathan does the nut bars.
I know, it's so kind.
Yeah.
Won't hear a word against you.
No, nothing.
So if you're wanting something quite savoury, I have that.
But I've got a little Marks and Spencer's cool box
that you put a frozen thing in
so you can bring your own food most places.
Do you have, like, rituals before you go on stage?
You know, when you do your stint here,
do you have, like, any food rituals before or after you get on stage? I know, when you do your stint here, do you have like any food rituals before
or after you get on stage?
I do actually. Whatever I eat on the day of the first performance in Panto, I have to
eat every other day.
It's like a superstition.
And apparently Ian McKellen does the same thing I read recently. I think it's to do
with worrying about getting ill.
Obviously, if I'm ill on the first day,
I wouldn't then eat the same thing.
But, like, the last season,
I had sushi from wherever it was,
one of those wasabi or something.
It wasn't very exciting.
So I had to have that every day for six weeks.
How did that feel on the sixth week? I was ready to move on after that. So what were you, in the last pamphlet of mine, Ie, yn ystod y wythnosau. Sut oedd hynny ar y wythnosau? Roeddwn i'n barod i symud ymlaen. Yn ôl hynny. Felly, beth oeddech chi yn y panto olaf? Roeddech chi ar y Palladium?
Ie.
A phwy oeddech chi?
Wel, roedd y panto olaf yn enw Pantoland ac...
A oedd unrhyw un yn ei weld?
Roedden ni'n mynd i ffwrdd â'r stori yn unig iawn, oherwydd roedden ni wedi'i ysgrifennu
y flwyddyn cyn i'r lockdown.
Iawn.
Ydych chi'n ysgrifennu hefyd?
Rwy'n ysgrifennu fy ffyrdd.
Iawn.
Rwy'n ysgrifennu'r ffilth.
Iawn.
Rwy'n ysgrifennu'r ffilth.
Iawn.
Iawn.
Iawn.
Iawn.
Iawn.
Iawn.
Iawn. Iawn. Iawn. Iawn. Iawn. Roedden ni'n gwneud y llyfr gyda'r stori yn unig. Roedden ni wedi ysgrifennu'r llyfr y flwyddyn yn ôl am ffwrdd.
Ydych chi'n ysgrifennu'r llyfr hefyd?
Rwy'n ysgrifennu fy ffyrdd. Rwy'n ysgrifennu'r llyfr.
Roedd un adroddiadwr wedi ei alw fel,
''A tsunami of smush''.
Oes gennych chi'n fawr am hynny?
Roeddwn i'n hyderus.
Felly, nid oeddwn i'n unrhyw beth yn benodol.
Y flwyddyn yma, wrth fynd i fynd, rwyf yma gyda Dawn French.
Rydyn ni'n gw are doing Jack and the Beanstalk.
Oh, wow. Are you Jack?
No.
Oh, shame.
No, I'm not right for Jack.
I am the spirit of the beans.
Food.
It's an ethereal being from another entity.
I love playing those. Do you? You're wafted around as if you're on opium. Mae'n ddynol o un uned arall. Rwy'n hoffi chwarae'r rhain. Rydych chi wedi bod yn geni?
Rwy'n bod yn geni ac rwy'n bod yn ysbryd y belliau yn Dick Whittington.
Ac mae'r ysbryd yn rhywbeth arall.
Mae fy mhrofiad yn yr un peth, beth bynnag y byddant yn ei gynnal.
Os oedd Lenni'n cael rôl yn y panto...
Jessica!
...pwy ydych chi'n edrych fel hynny?
Pwy?
Dwi ddim yn meddwl y byddai hynny'n rhywbeth.
Mae'n rhywbeth. Mae'n rhy oedd Lenni'n cael rôl yn y panto...
Jessica!
...pwy ydych chi'n edrych fel hynny?
Dwi ddim yn meddwl fy mod i'n barod i'r panto, gwynt.
Mae hyn yn ffodd.
Ond os...
Yn hybrydol, os oedd Lenni'n mynd i fod yn y panto, beth rôl fyddwch chi'n ei roi?
Wel, lle ydych chi, yn gyntaf, rwy'n credu bod High Wycombe yn eich cyfarwydd.
High Wycombe!
Panto da iawn, rwyf wedi gwneud panto yno. Yswan Theatre. Yn ôl y Palladium, I've done panto there. The Swan Theatre. Off to the
Palladium, I don't think so. You're going straight in at the deep end.
What, you could be, well, nid bwyd.
Ffurf yn panto.
Prinses Apricot, yna.
Iawn, hyfryd.
Na?
Iawn.
Iawn.
Iawn.
Iawn. Where was the best night out in Soho back in the day? Oh, God. There used to be a club called Stallions.
There used to be a club in Sydney I used to go to
called Hot Cock for Men.
Oh, my God.
Straight to the point, wasn't it?
But Stallions was round the back.
Did they have one for women as well?
I thought you were going to say, did they have Hot Cock?
No, there wasn't.
Well, there might have been, actually.
There might have been.
Yeah, but I didn't go there.
Stallions was round the back of that theatre
at Tottenham Court Road that's no longer there
that they knocked down for Crossrail.
Astoria, yes.
Astoria.
Yeah, it was dark and dingy and sticky floor
and there was no need to leave empty-handed from that establishment. Astoria, ie. Astoria. Ie, roedd yn ddark ac yn dyngeig ac yn llwyth a doedd dim rhaid i mi gadael
dynnu'n ddwy-gynllunio o'r sefydliad honno.
Yn gweld sut rydych chi'n gofyn.
Diolch.
Ydych chi'n bwyto pan rydych chi'n perfformio? Ydych chi'n bwyto ar ôl neu o'r blaen?
Yn rhwng.
Yn rhwng. Yn ystod.
Yn ystod sioes.
Na, na, na. Os ydych chi ar ystadeg ar 7.30, a ydych chi'n bwydo eich dîn yn gywir cyn i chi fynd ar ystadeg?
Neu a ydych chi'n aros i'r ddiwedd ac yn mynd i rywle glamorus ac yn cael gwaith yn ddiwedd?
Na, na, na, rwy'n hoffi mynd allan ar ôl sioe. Felly rwy'n mynd am 2 awr yn ôl.
Iawn.
Ac, na, mae pobl yn gwneud hynny, yn dweud, na? Yn mynd allan. a show so I eat about two hours before okay and no I think people do that don't
they go out I think it's quite hard to eat mum I think mum thinks we're all
going to Joe Allen's after that yeah no we're not and then stallion a version of
and I am I wanted to know if there is a taste a nostalgic taste that will take you back to somewhere good or bad,
I shouldn't have asked this question.
Thank you.
Well, I'm not going to go down there. It's what we ask everyone.
Apart from the obvious answer, awful after asparagus. Gwych ar ôl asparagus. Ond... Rwy'n mynd i ddweud...
...
...bos ymlaen,
pan oeddwn i'n ysgol,
roedd y bwyd yn ddifrifol ac roeddech chi'n cael
un unrhyw bwnc ar eich plâd.
Ac un diwrnod, roedd
rhywbeth, bwyd ymlaen, a bwyd masg.
Ac roedd gen i'r syniad wych hwnnw,
y byddwn i'n bwydo'r bwyd ymlaen yn y bwyd masg.
Mae hynny'n dda. Felly, cael hynny'n fwy. and I had this marvelous idea that I would bury the broad beans in the mashed potato. That's clever, yeah.
Thus getting away with it.
And this is my primary school.
The headmistress came along with a fork, and she went like that,
and she revealed my deception.
And she called me a wicked, deceitful boy.
And I've never been able to look at a broad bean since.
I blame you. It's terrible.
And I struggle with mashed potato. Ac dwi ddim wedi gallu edrych ar ysgafn bwysig. Dwi ddim yn gwbl yn gwbl â chi, mae'n ddifrifol. Ac rwy'n anodd â bwysigion.
Ie, mae hynny'n wych, diolch.
Ydych chi oes yn canu karaoke, Julian?
Wel, dwi ddim yn gwybod am fy nghaeafu, ond rwy'n gwybod mai dyma un o'r cwestiynau set.
O, ie, ie, rwy'n gwybod.
Nid yw Jessie yn hoff the question because she's a singer,
but I love karaoke.
Do you? I've never actually been to a karaoke bar.
I don't think I have either,
but I think this is my desire to go to a karaoke bar.
Oh, OK.
And I make Jessie sing at karaoke.
Do people like karaoke in the audience?
There you go, that's your date for after the show, Mum.
You're going to go to Lucky Voice or something. There you go, you're sorted. Oh, oh. I'll be asking you what your karaoke song is later.
So what would your karaoke song be? One year in Pantaya I sang I was born under a wandering star
I was born under wheels made for rolling, mules are made to pack
I never seen a sight that didn't look better looking back
I was born under...
Very, very good. Mae'n dda iawn. Beth oedd y cwis yn y cwis? Yw'n y cwis John Wayne? Felly, mae'n dda iawn. Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn.
Mae'n dda iawn. Mae'n dda iawn. Mae'n dda iawn. Mae'n dda iawn. Mae'n dda iawn. Mae'n dda iawn. If you're ever in a pub, there's somebody over here that's got all the knowledge. Thank you. It's your birthday soon, isn't it?
It is, on the 25th of May.
What are you doing for it?
What will you fancy?
What will be the meal of choice?
Well, it's a Wednesday.
It's all right.
Well.
It has to be a Wednesday sometime.
Yeah, it'll probably just pass us by.
I don't know.
I sort of leave it to my husband and he'll pretend nothing is happening
then something will happen
you know what I mean
so I don't know
probably we might go to Odette's
or we might not
and I
lots of questions for you
well actually Danny just keeps on sending
different questions actually
so Danny asks do you keep
all your costumes from the Pantos, and what was it
like working with Cheryl from Bucks Fizz?
I don't keep the costumes. They belong
to the producers, and there is a great big
warehouse near Scarborough
somewhere, where all my costumes
I mean, how many is the most that you've done
in one night?
Costumes.
Sure.
Yeah.
Thirteen, I think.
Thirteen?
Yes.
When I did one of my own shows in the 90s,
I had 18 costume changes.
You'd have one under the other and you would bit of Velcro
and you would whip it off. How exciting. Yes. Roedd gen i 18 newid ystyr. Roedd gennych un arall ac roedd gennych ychydig o velcro a byddwch chi'n ei wneud. Mae'n hynod o hwyl.
Ie.
Felly mae'r holl un yn archif rhywle.
Maen nhw i gyd yn y gweithle hwn, ie.
Nawr i Cheryl.
Dwi ddim yn gwybod, dwi'n meddwl mai dyna'r cwestiwn comedi, ydy'n yw?
Dwi ddim yn meddwl ydw i wedi gweithio gyda Cheryl.
Beth fyddai'ch cwbl fwriadol am dîn, er bod ni ddim yn ffustio am y dinas a'r bwyd.
Pwy fydd o amgylch y tawel?
O, ie, dwi'n dweud hynny.
Pwy fydda i'n dweud?
Mae yna ddyn yng Nghymru, Mary Schneider,
dyn yng Nghymru, a dwi'n ei ddod.
Dwi'n ei ddod.
Rwy'n ei gwybod. Australia's Queen of Yodeling, who I adore. No, I do. You know her.
I have met her in Australia, and I always play her.
I love yodeling.
You should try listening to yodeling.
It's very, very cheerful.
Yes, I will.
How did you get into yodeling?
I don't know.
I think I heard it on the radio.
It's not like Swiss yodeling.
It's kind of like country music, yodeling.
She will yodel anything.og y clasigion.
Beth yw'r clasigion?
Mae hi'n ysgog William Telloverture.
Mary Schneider.
Yn ymwneud â...
Ie, yn ymwneud â hynny.
O, o'r llawr, o'r llawr.
Efallai mai dyna'ch caraoke.
Efallai, oeddwn i'n meddwl. Efallai.
Roeddwn i'n meddwl bod y bariton yn wych.
O, roedd hynny'n gwych.
Iawn, felly byddwch chi'n cael y yodler, y yodler Australi.
Iawn, iawn.
Yw unrhyw un yn fyw, byw neu'n ddod?
Byw neu'n ddod.
Iawn.
Wel, mae llawer o bobl ddod i ddewis.
Anne Boleyn.
Byddai hi'n dda. Anne Boleyn. She'd be nice.
Barbara Castle.
Who's Barbara Castle?
Jessica.
Why would I know you're Barbara Castle?
She was a very famous Labour MP.
OK, sorry.
Because I always thought whenever you heard Barbara Castle talk about something, I thought...
She talked proper like that.
Like she meant business, didnedd hi? Oedd hi'n dweud?
Roedd hi'n cael sgyrswyd o'r Cymru.
Oedd Barbara Castle o'r Cymru?
Ie.
Oedd hi wedi cael ei ddod yn ymlaen.
Waw!
Rwy'n meddwl bod y gweithwyr yn...
Ie, Barbara Castle.
Roedd hi'n ddiddorol iawn. Roedd hi'n siaradwr y tŷ am gyfnod. Yeah, Barbara Castle. She was very blunt. She was Speaker of the House for a while.
Was she?
Yeah.
Anyway, whoever she is, I'd like her to come to my dinner party so I can find out all about
her, whoever she is.
Yes.
I think I'll mix her up with someone else. Who else would I...
Barbara Cartland. Barbara Cartland. Barbara Cartland. Barbara would I look I couldn't stand an evening
with Barbara no Barbara Woodhouse no she was a nasty bit of work she was a dog
trainer yeah she's a bit Yankee is the word yes okay do you want more people Yn ystod y cyfnod, byddai'n rhyfeddol. Yn ystod y cyfnod, byddai'n rhyfeddol. Yn ystod y cyfnod, byddai'n rhyfeddol.
Yn ystod y cyfnod, byddai'n rhyfeddol.
Yn ystod y cyfnod, byddai'n rhyfeddol.
Yn ystod y cyfnod, byddai'n rhyfeddol.
Yn ystod y cyfnod, byddai'n rhyfeddol.
Yn ystod y cyfnod, byddai'n rhyfeddol.
Yn ystod y cyfnod, byddai'n rhyfeddol.
Yn ystod y cyfnod, byddai'n rhyfeddol.
Yn ystod y cyfnod, byddai'n rhyfeddol.
Yn ystod y cyfnod, byddai'n rhyfeddol.
Yn ystod y cyfnod, byddai'n rhyfeddol. Diolch yn fawr am fod yn ystod y cyfnod. Diolch yn fawr am fod yn ystod y cyfnod. Gwylion Cleri. Gwylion Cleri. Gwylion Cleri. Gwylion Cleri. Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri.
Gwylion Cleri. Gwylion Cleri. Gwylion Cleri. Gwylion Cleri? The paperback is out next.
My publicist is here somewhere. When's it out?
Tom?
I think it's
Know It All over there.
It's Tom the Know It All.
Maybe.
Julian, thank you.
People can see you in Panto.
I'll be here in Panto. Or in Odex
for your birthday. Odex?
Odex.
Maybe leave him alone.
But yeah, thank you so much.
Everyone, Julian Clary!
Thank you very much.
Thank you. Bye.