Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S13 Ep 3: Martin Compston
Episode Date: March 9, 2022Bleary eyed after our big win, we welcomed our first AC12 guest, Steve Arnott.. better known as Martin Compston onto Table Manners. As Line of Duty’s biggest fan, mum was in her element serving... up delicious lamb & pistachio and only slightly disappointed not to hear an Essex accent from our Scottish guest.We talk to Martin about his obsession with chicken wings, eating Chinese takeaway on Christmas Day, how living in Las Vegas compares to living in Glasgow & winning over his (now) wife via an Irish promise ring, a song and all at an 11am Happy Hour! His brand new ITV drama ‘Our House’ is on this week, every night at 9pm. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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Hello and welcome to Table Manners. I'm Jessie Ware and I am a little bleary-eyed.
So am I, Jess.
Why are we so tired, Mum, and deliriously happy?
Because it's hard being rock stars, darling.
Not so hard for you. You strutted on that stage twice to present an award at the Enemy Awards
and then to receive one mum best podcast fantastic
thank you to everyone it was a really fun night saw lots of people that have been on the podcast
before so many people yeah Ashlyn B Nick Grimmie we saw people that we wanted on the podcast
Mae Martin Charlotte Ritchie Charlotte Ritchie Daisy Charlotte Ritchie. Daisy Mae Cooper. Sadie is there.
It was really, really fun.
Thank you so, so much to NME for giving us a podcast award.
I've never won anything before.
I loved seeing you go up to Yasmin Le Bon and being like,
you look fabulous, darling.
Do you want to come on the podcast?
Yeah.
But yeah, no, it was wicked.
It was a really good night, but I do feel a little bit rough.
I had to take a COVID test just to double-check
that this hangover wasn't COVID, and it's not.
It's a hangover.
Oh, I left way before you, darling, to beat the crowds.
This is how rock star mum is.
Got the award, and then she was like,
I'm going for a wee, and then she was gone.
She did, what's it called, a French exit.
Oh, they said, do you want to say goodbye to Jessie?
I said, no, I'm seeing her tomorrow.
Rockstar.
So that was amazing.
Thank you.
Had loads of fun.
But also, Mum, whilst we're, you know, celebrating our win,
we also have another win.
Very exciting news.
We've launched the Table Manners store on our website.
Everyone was asking about this tea towel.
You will be able to get your very own Table Manners tea towel.
Fantastic.
As well as there's many other items,
including tote bags, aprons.
So go and have a browse, see what you think.
Tell us what you think.
Or you can get the cookbook on there.
You can get all sorts of things.
Tablemannerspodcast.com.
For the very devoted Table Manners.
You may even be able to get Table Manners tour tickets on the website too,
which is coming up very quickly.
What, it's like five weeks until we go to...
Is it sold out everywhere, darling?
Or still a few tickets?
Still a few tickets.
Wow.
Better hurry up.
And we can't wait to see you.
We're award winning now.
So today we have the actor.
I don't think I've been more excited.
You say this quite a lot, Mum.
No, but actually, darling, I've followed him since the very first line of duty.
And I would have sworn he came from Essex.
Blow me down.
He's Scottish.
Who would have thought it?
And proper Scottish, really. I think he's, well, I'm not thought it i'm proper scottish really i think he's well i'm not
going to say which football team he supports we better ask him but he's a devout football i think
he plays football jesse has he played with the unicef yeah he plays with for the rest of the
world yeah he's yeah a regular um player and loves it that's where I met him first. But I actually remember watching Sweet Sixteen.
It came out in 2002.
And he, I mean, mum, look at a picture of him in it.
He's like a young, young boy.
Oh, sweet.
And it's a Scottish film.
And it was such an amazing film.
And he was so fantastic.
Ken Loach film.
And it was so fantastic.
Well, he is just a great actor and he's in so much
more now he's got two new series well he's got Traces his second season of Traces is on I haven't
watched Traces oh I love Traces it's great what is he a cop in it no it's kind of forensic it's
about forensic scientists and he's also in a new TV series called Our House.
Our House with Tuppence Middleton.
Oh, my goodness.
I think people will be surprised by the character he plays.
He's not Steve Arnott anymore.
He is definitely not AC-12.
I have done no cooking, so I know that you are tired.
I'm a bit tired, only because it's very hard celebrating awards and then coming back and cooking.
So I did hope I was going to try and replant my false eyelashes that they very kindly put on me.
I've never heard it in that way.
Because she gave me a whole strip instead of single ones.
You can use them again.
Yeah, but I threw them out.
I thought it was a bit sad.
I might put them on my.
I get like four or five wears out of them.
Okay, of a whole strip.
I'm going to buy some new ones.
I'll get new ones.
Lenny, you're going to start wearing...
Yeah, I am.
Oh, wow.
It does feel good, doesn't it?
I'm going to look like Katie Price.
Or Bimini, who was on our table last night.
Yeah, definitely.
Who we'd love.
They would be amazing on the podcast.
Bimini I'd love, yeah.
I have cooked today because I thought something, well.
We went back and forth about this.
Yeah.
I think he said he ate everything.
Now, I know he lives in America normally.
Las Vegas.
So I knew he'd get proper steak there.
So I've done him lamb.
I've done him what we have for Nigella. Lamb with pistachio and mint crust.
And it smells great.
And I've done it with dauphinoise potatoes,
because you can't go wrong if you're really hungry,
and just broccoli.
And I'm like, do you think some peas, Jess?
I think some peas.
Okay, peas too.
Yum.
And then I'm doing...
Now I'm thinking should we do the anchovy dressing?
I think it's too much. I'm doing a red wine jus. Oh, I wonder. Yeah Now I'm thinking you should do the anchovy dressing. I think it's too much.
I'm doing a red wine jus.
Oh, I'm hoping you are.
Yeah, I hope I am.
I'm making it up as I go along,
having watched the Great British Menu.
Mum, he's here.
Enough of your thing.
Oh, wow.
Martin Compson coming up on table.
Woo!
I'm thrilled.
We are thrilled.
We are thrilled.
Actually, you don't even know how excited I am that you're here.
Because I've been a huge fan.
Slightly disappointed you don't speak with the Essex accent that you normally do. What are you talking about?
It's the greatest accent ever.
Oh, no.
Thanks for having me.
Steve Arnold.
Congratulations. But Martin Constant. Yeah. having me. Steve Arnold. Congratulations.
But Martin Constant.
Yeah.
Thanks so much.
Yeah, it's good fun.
Welcome.
But you're jet lagged.
I am.
See, this is the annoying thing with it as well.
Usually in years gone by,
and this is me trying to be sensible,
I'd have landed,
I'd have got my pals,
and I'd have hit Soho,
and I'd have had an excuse for feeling like shit.
Now I've tried to be sensible.
Went to my bed early and you're just getting up in the middle of the night.
Are you staying in a nice hotel?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm staying in the Kempton on Russell Square.
I usually stay there.
I don't know it.
A really nice staff there.
Oh, I've heard that's really nice.
Lovely, lovely place.
It's a nice food.
Yeah, yeah, decent food.
Nice bit of salad and all that kind of thing.
You're on the press tour.
You're trying to eat alright
so you're just here
doing press at the moment
yes
for our house
our house
yes
which starts Monday
nine o'clock
I know
there you go
you got it
you got it
I know
and you don't play
such a pleasant person
no no
because you should
it's no Steve Arnott
playing there
no he's a bit of a bastard
Bram
yes
but he's a complicated guy
full of contradictions
which is always fun to play
but it's by far
the darkest part
I've played in a while
just in terms of
the emotions he goes through
he's sort of on this
downward
I mean
the way the show opens
with the lovely
Tuppence Middleton
yeah
poor wife
yeah it's just
a surreal
and it's always tough to do
because when you put that in a book people's imagination can run wild just a kind of surreal and it's always tough to do because when you put
that in a book people's imagination can run wild just in terms of going woman comes home the house
is being emptied people are moving in and your husband's gone but just by sheer force of nature
uh by tuppence middleton by just her talent you kind of go along with the character of fee and
then you kind of meet bram and um yeah he's just completely on this downward depressive spiral
for four episodes,
so it's a tough old part
in terms of the emotions to go through,
but in some ways,
there's a warped enjoyment in that as an actor.
You know, you kind of feel like
you've earned your money
when you're having an emotional breakdown
every single day.
When did you film it,
and where did you film it?
We filmed it not far from here.
And it looked like a kind of
South Wales.
Does it look like a me?
It's a Peckham Rye, sort of like that way.
Oh, Jesse lives down there.
Well, I used to live in Honour Oak Park.
Oh, wow.
So it was kind of...
I must shut the door.
Oh, mate, you're not going to leave Las Vegas and come back and live in Honour Oak?
Well, no, so I lived...
It's well trendy now, Beb.
No, that was the weird thing.
So when I...
When we filmed...
When I lived there,
because I remember vividly coming back from a night out,
absolutely hanging with the fear, as you do,
and the police being at our front door,
and going, are you Mr Compton?
And you're going, oh, fuck, what have we done?
And upstairs had been robbed, unfortunately.
But just your mind's going, what is going on here?
It didn't look like that now
it really
it's definitely been
gentrified a bit
oh it has
yeah
we've got restaurants there now
yeah
there was all these places
places that serve coffee
but it's got a thingy as well
it's got a chicken shop
I mean I'm obsessed
with chicken wings
it's my kind of
weird thing
oh you should have told us
yeah
I just
I don't know
because everywhere I go
no we should not have served
an obsessive chicken wing person.
You've never done chicken wings in your life.
But I kind of love any kind of chicken wings,
whether it be like four for a pound at a chicken shop,
which I know people eat, or really fancy ones.
I'm just...
There's something...
So there's one of them right across from the street from our old house,
so I'm a bit guarded by that.
Have you got time to pop in?
I did.
Well, what I did pop in, there's...
I can't remember the name of it
but there's these olives I love
you put them in
it begins with a P, it's an Italian
it becomes this white, Pirello
oh my god that's the best, they're amazing
and the little shop across the street from there
now sells them, so you put a bit of cracked pepper in them
shake it up, empty the juice
and they're delicious, so then
with a wee glass of wine, so there was a load
of them so I'd go
each day and film and buy a load of them, give them
to the drivers and give them to Tuppence and we'd sit
on our breaks and have a couple
Does she have a nickname, Tuppence?
No, it's funny, I've heard that twice today
I just call her Tuppence
It's such a fab name
I think as well because you'd need
to be like, the nickname would need to be like
Top or Toppy or something
which isn't quite
yeah
a bit odd
so hon
if you've already been asked that
twice today
have you just been doing
loads of promo this morning
yeah I think
this is my sixth or seventh
promo today
no
oh my god
can we feed him
yeah
you get fed on this one though
are we going to have a proper drink darling
we're just easing him in
yeah
I think he'd like food.
Yeah, no.
I mean, I'll have a...
Would you like a glass of champagne?
No.
Red wine.
Wine, what do you like?
Red wine, right.
Jessie, get the St. Helena out.
Oh, yeah.
This is so jokes.
We had a...
Yeah, because I'm excited.
I've had a ham and cheese toastie on room service at four o'clock.
So I'm up for that. I've done... Do you like lamb? Yeah, yeah, definitely. So I've done a is a ham and cheese toastie on room service at four o'clock. So I'm up for that.
Do you like lamb?
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
So I've done a rack of lamb.
Oh, amazing.
And some dauphinoise potatoes and just broccoli.
I'm all over that.
Bit of home-cooked meal.
Yeah, proper home-cooked.
So we've got a few mutual friends.
We do, indeed.
So, Joe Dempsey.
You know, I didn't know you were going to say Joe.
I was on the phone to him yesterday.
Were you?
Yeah, yeah, because... Is he your usual soho partner well you would have been like we've
gotten some mischief over the years but i mean joe is such a top lad right he's probably the
nicest guy in tv in that terms but the thing with joe is obviously joe's a mad scotland fan
yes yeah um so we're just talking about having a night out
we might be coming up for the
it's a really strange one actually
because Scotland
for the first time in 20 years
have the chance to go
to the World Cup
but we're in a playoff
against Ukraine
oh really
yeah so it's a really
and they've
oh god
so we don't know what to do
but I'm kind of
I hope the game
goes ahead
just in terms of
what a chance to show
a bit of solidarity
yeah absolutely just put your bones through yeah I know because that's the one thing I'm kind of bit me like, I hope the game goes ahead just in terms of what a chance to show a bit of solidarity. Yeah.
Yeah,
absolutely.
Just,
just,
just,
just,
just put your bows through.
Yeah,
I know.
Cause that's,
that's the one thing.
Because no rush is gone.
They won't let them through.
So they can just substitute.
That's the weird thing as well,
because I,
I,
in terms of,
we need to help them as much as we can,
whether it be lethal or,
or non-lethal aid,
refugees,
but I'm not letting them win that football game.
My sympathies does not extend to that.
We've been waiting on this for 200 years
because people are saying,
but again, in some ways,
that would defeat the purpose.
The point is, they're still a functioning nation
and they're coming over here.
And yeah, but no,
we're not letting them go through.
But me and Joe are...
Which is your team in Scotland?
Don't get it wrong.
The greatest team in the world
Glasgow Celtic
Celtic
yeah
you know
and guys here congratulations
cheers
cheers mum
to Scotland in the
World Cup
yeah
oh that's lovely
can I just ask something
is there going to be another line of duty
yeah I can
so this is my party line
which you're already with
okay
I'm very
but you can
tell us the truth
he's holding on
to the
table for dear life
as he just said this
like he's scared
because the thing is
with it right
I'm delighted
that people
have taken it
so much to their heart
honestly
I've loved you
from the beginning
I just want you
to know
he's probably
had that in the last
six
I feel
but I do feel
I'm kind of
like related
to you a little bit really because I've watched you for so last six. I do feel I'm kind of like related to you a little bit.
Really?
Because I've watched you for so long.
Yes, of course.
Martin or Steve?
Well, Steve.
Oh, right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, he's a wee shite.
But every time we finish a series,
we've always took like two years off.
So the way, it's just that the show's got so popular now,
people are sort of determined
to find out what's happening and as if there's a big mystery but it's the same as we've always done
we always just Jed lets it go for a year just because he wants people to be excited to come
back but also to see if there's a story if he doesn't think there's a story to tell he won't
come back well you're not going to tell me the truth but I heard that is the truth no but I
heard that there was a different ending
and it was all to do with James Nesbitt
getting
he was the real person
no no
and he was stuck
because of Covid somewhere
and he wasn't the one
no
so you
what was the name
is it H
this is amazing
which are the most ridiculous
like myths
see that
that would be up there
oh really
because Jimmy was on another show with Jed Dunn.
And just for a favour, just to throw in a red,
but he literally came in and got the picture taken.
Oh, it's a red heavy.
Yeah, that's all it was.
Yeah.
Thank you for clearing that up.
But no, you know what?
In some ways, because when I saw it,
when you see it as Jimmy,
that opens up this whole other world
that possibly it could be him.
But yeah yeah it's
no there is some wild theories out there
which is
is fun
like when you're seeing them on Twitter after
and some of them are pretty close
oh my god
Twitter after the episode
yeah it's wild
it was just the best place to be
it's good
the memes
but some people are
like buying on
on the money with some of the things
and some
there's one
there was one going about
that I think I was somebody's son
and there was the letters
or something,
there was something as well
because I thought it was real
because I said to Jed,
is this true?
There was an acronym
of somebody's name
with something
but it doesn't make any sense
when he broke to that.
Yeah,
and there was a Scottish
can,
yeah,
no,
but that wouldn't have been it
but then the girl, is it her name Shalom? I can't remember. Shalom. Yeah, but that wouldn't have been it. But then the girl,
is it her name Shalom?
I can't remember.
Shalom.
Yeah, Shalom.
So now she was supposed
to be the first guy.
Yeah, that was
at Lenny's daughter.
That's correctly
Shalom's daughter.
Was she?
No, no.
Oh, okay.
It's very heartening
that people go that much into it
and go that far back.
I'm absolutely obsessed.
When I knew it was coming back
and also because COVID
was so awful
and when everyone
was so excited
it was highly stressful
on a Sunday
it was a Sunday night
and you'd be like there
going to bed
and they didn't put them out
earlier
you had to be in
to watch it
that's the way
we've always done it
and we'll never change that
because the only thing
with that was
look it was great
it started during the end
of lockdown
I think it was two episodes
on lockdown
but the build up was just it was too much and then the end of lockdown I think there was two episodes on lockdown but the build up
was just
it was too much
and then by that point
we had everybody hooked
which was great
but by the last episode
I was desperate
for it to end
it was too much
it was just
there was
intense
it's intense
and when there's a returning
show like that
which I'm so chuffed about
Our House
coming out
because Our House
is a proper
cliffhangers as well
but we're on four
consecutive nights so it's going to be that week people are going to go wild and it's going to be
done but when it's it's over six weeks like that the there's a press thing where they they've kind
of got to make a there are quotes of you they've got they've got to have so many stories about you
and after a while they just start pilot taking stuff from the past, like from years ago, or just kind of making stuff up.
And it's just because there's a clamour for stories on you during that time.
So by the time it got to...
And it was like, it was surreal, man.
It was like pubs had like big screens.
People were watching in the garden, like a football match.
And it was kind of like...
It was fantastic.
But you just felt...
It was an event.
And also, I think, because we were quite aware that like a football match and it was kind of like but you just felt it was an event and also i think
because we were quite aware that there's a thing that comes when there's such a frenzy like that
there's a bloodlust everybody wanted a mental shootout to end it and because we knew it was
never going to go that way you were kind of like disappointed when they're in when no but there
was an amazing shoot that scene when when the armoured car goes,
oh my God, it was the best scene ever.
I was chuffed to bits with that bit
because Jed loves putting me through the wringer as an actor.
You were.
He's got a bad back in it too.
Bad back.
He's fucking, well, he does no work.
He's been framed for murder.
He's got a pill problem.
He's been fired.
You're shagging the corrupt policemen.
So everybody else, Adrian's got to shoot a guy.
Vicky's been hanging off in trucks with machine guns.
So that was sort of Steve's kind of moment.
But you kind of really got to commit to it
because as cool as that looks on TV,
I was by myself in a studio just pointing it through a thingy.
Not to kill a bit of the mystery.
So I wasn't even on the set
when all that was happening.
It's well edited, isn't it?
It's good though.
The thing that is good
is when I'm in the van,
they do have firecrackers
going off across the van
and I love all that stuff.
It's a kind of James Bond moment.
Yeah.
I love seeing you got the gun
and coming around the corner.
Could you be a James Bond?
I'd like you to be
a James Bond baddie.
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah.
Because again,
this is maybe a little,
not a wee bit
exclusive for you
but I just
I signed my first
executive producer
deal this week
that's a tough
for what
yeah thank you
so it's a show
I'm doing with
the world to make
Line of Duty
but that part
will be
it's a story
I've been desperate
to tell for a long time
and I can't believe
it hasn't been told
up to this point but it would be pretty epic in scale and it would be
um it's a it's a period piece but it would be in the vein of spies and detectives are you starring
in it yeah yeah but the reason is because a true story of a guy from glasgow um who um had this ffrindiau o Glasgow sydd wedi cael bywyd anhygoel ymlaen y byd a dyna'i ffordd cyntaf
y prif ddyddir ond roedd ganddo bywyd anhygoel ac roedd yn sbaen a phethau fel hyn ac felly dydw i ddim
deall sut mae ei enw'n gyffrous oherwydd ei enw oedd synonimus â ddyddir ar ôl
ond nid yw ei stori wedi cael ei ddweud felly fe wnes i ystyried y syniad hwn i byd a oedd yn rhan mawr o fy nhyrfa His name was synonymous with detectives after it, but his story's never really been told. So I pitched this idea to World,
who'd been a massive part of my career,
like through Line of Duty and In Plain Sight and stuff.
And yeah, they went for it.
So we're building this together.
That's amazing.
It's exciting, man.
It's daunting as well now that your name's on it.
You know what I mean?
It's like, yeah, seeing that side behind the camera
is such a slog.
You'll be all right.
What's it like living in Las Vegas compared to Glasgow?
Are you Glasgow?
I'm Greenock, which is just about 40 miles west.
Okay.
But very distinct difference if you're from there.
And your wife is from Las Vegas.
How does she find coming to Scotland?
She loves it, but she's got a warped view of it
because she's always here for summers and weddings and Christmas and all that thing.
Yeah, it's always fun.
Yeah, she's got a fairytale idea of it.
Because she drives me up the wall at times when she says,
she says, of course, if you're up in the desert,
she loves the rain.
And I fucking hate the rain.
Everyone does.
She loves it.
Oh, my God.
She loves it.
And it kind of drives me mad.
Because the problem is you can't do anything.
Like, I don't mind cold.
It's the rain.
But you can't get out of the house when it's raining.
And that's one of the things I love about Vegas is it's dry all the time. ddim yn gallu gwneud unrhyw beth, dwi ddim yn gofyn yn hwyl, mae'r llaw, ond dwi'n gallu gael i ffwrdd y tŷ pan fydd yn llaw ac mae hwn yn un o'r pethau dwi'n ei fwynhau am Vegas, mae'n dry yn yr holl amser, ond mae hi'n
llwyddo pan fydd llaw, ond mae hi'n cael ymddiriedaeth ffantasiol o'r Sgwrtland,
dwi'n meddwl, oedd, pe bai, os ydych chi yno, ond wedyn mae hi wedi gwneud hynny,
fe wnaethon ni ychydig yn ystod y wythnosau o'r olaf yn y DU cyn i mi ffwrdd, fe wnaethon i fynd yn
Ogdewbr, ac mae'n ystod y llaw rwyf wedi'i ddefnyddio i'r Vegas, 4 mis, ond rwy'n meddwl in the UK just before I left. I left in October and that's the longest
I've spent in Vegas, four months.
But I kind of need the place
because the anonymity there, I love.
Has it got quite overwhelming that here?
Really, you know what?
I think there's been two factors in it.
One, the COVID thing.
I think from that as well,
people have got to drink in them especially.
They're over-friendly, which I used to love.
But during the COVID times and when you're working, you're nervous.
Because if I get COVID, I shut down a job for 70 people.
And also becoming a dad, you know, it's a nightmare going.
There's this weird thing.
People are very kind and they're just curious
but there's been
this weird thing
I've realised
I don't know if you've got this
of people taking
I'm used to people
taking sneaky pictures
of me
they're not taking pictures
of your kid
taking pictures of my kid
and then sending it to me
no that's weird
and it's bizarre
that's really strange
and find that really strange
why do they do that
I don't understand
why you would
do they know
who your child is
well yeah
or just because
they've followed you
they've just followed but it's weird like just because they've followed you they've just followed
but it's weird
like I saw
they'll text you
they'll DM you
you know what I'm saying
and that's why
I've had to stop
looking at DMs
altogether
because it would be like
oh I saw you
and your kid at the park
didn't want to bother you
but here's a picture
and you're like
don't take the picture
yeah
I suppose you two
have said hi
yeah that's it
but you get as well
I find it bizarre
like people come up
and look
there's no malice in people when they do this.
But genuinely, I've been out with my wee one.
And somebody will come up and go, can I get a picture?
And I go, I'm really sorry, but I'm with my son.
And they go, oh, I think you'll hold him.
And I'm like, what?
It's your child.
But the thing is, there's no malice in it.
People genuinely think they're just being nice,
but you're just like, so that's where Vegas is really good.
We can just sort of disappear over there.
And I, again, I'm very lucky with my wife that she loves Scotland.
She's very gorgeous.
Yeah, she's all right.
You did well there.
Where did you meet her?
We met in a bar and she was the hostess in a bar in LA.
And so I used to have this thing,
it's not really a thing anymore, but there used to be this thing called pilot season in January right
yeah so it's January to kind of March
so the whole acting world would just descend
on LA for this part
and you'd have 15 auditions a day
but I had a friend who lived there
and we had a sort of tradition that
when I'd arrive
we'd go on the piss for the first day.
Oh, it seems to be quite a tradition that you have in every country.
Well, I mean, it seems like I'm in good company here.
Yeah.
And we, so we went to this place and it was like happy hour on a Monday.
So the place was deserted.
And obviously my wife, she's quite kind of strikingly beautiful, you know.
She's got this incredible hair.
And she was just serving us, but she had a cladder ring on,
which is like an Irish promise ring.
Oh!
So this kind of, you know, she's a mixed race girl
with this amazing hair, American, and I'm going,
why have you got an Irish promise ring?
And she's like, oh, my dad's Irish.
Also, great way in.
Oh, very good.
Do you think someone might have promised her?
No, because it's the way it's pointing.
Oh, how do you know so much about this?
Well, I've got Irish family
and all that kind of thing as well.
You know, you just haven't,
like growing up the West Coast has gone.
So it points one way
and that means you're betrothed?
That means it's game on.
Yeah, the other way around.
Crikey, Jessie, I need to get one.
I'll get you one So I
I saw that
And then I just
I mean I'd grown up
For better or worse
Grown up a West Coast
Catholic and Scotland
Celtic fan
You know all the
Irish rebel songs
And all the old folk songs
So
Did you sing something to her?
I did indeed
No I can't sing
So don't ask me to
How many drinks were you in by the way?
Oh I was a right few
And it was happy hour
And what was the song?
I think I sang her The Fields of Ath and what was the song I think I sang
of the fields of Athenry
oh my god
I sang of Grace
yeah which
Grace is
I think it's one of the
most beautiful
love songs ever written
it's about
during the
Easter rise
and Joseph Mary Ponca
and Grace Gifford
so he was
he was one of the
instigators of the
Irish rising
which failed and when he was he was one of the instigators of the Irish Rising which failed
and when he was
about to be executed
they let him
marry his long term love
so yeah
listen to that song
it's like
improv
I mean you got the part
in pilot season
no I know
listen to that song
and it's just literally about
a couple getting married
just before one of them
was about to die.
And it's like, but it's a beautiful, beautiful song.
And who taught you that song?
It's just something growing up where I grew up, you know.
But it's a weird thing because it was...
But hold on, this is, you're singing this song to this woman
that you are now married to.
Yeah.
And I mean, I can't imagine that you'd have that much conversation
before you...
We did because in terms of, I said it was Monday morning happy hour,
so there was nobody else in the bar.
So unfortunately...
It's from afternoon to Monday morning now.
Okay.
Monday morning happy hour?
Yeah, no.
Did I hear that right?
He started it with afternoon, but now it's morning.
Well, it's that 11 to noon.
Okay, got it.
So she was kind of forced to put up with me, my pal, for several hours.
What was this bar?
Singing, mordling Irish songs.
Yeah, yeah.
But she was getting the right kick out of it because she was calling her dad and going,
like, you know, there's this guy.
Oh, do you know this one, dad?
Oh, my God.
You met the parent on the first...
Well, I think she texted him the first one and his first question back was Celtic or Rangers.
Oh, my God.
So I think saying Celtic kind of got me in.
It was called the Hudson, the bar. It's closed down, unfortunately, saying Celtic kind of got me in it was called
the Hudson the bar
it's closed down
unfortunately
but we still drive by it
but it was
yeah it was just amazing
like I wasn't even
going to go out that day
it was just amazing
like we walked into
that bar that day
and I think about it
and go and if I didn't
then no she's my wife
we have a kid together now
and if I didn't go
into that bar that day
I mean I suppose
everybody feels that way
yeah that's it
we wouldn't have
the little terror
that's an amazing
way to meet that's it. We wouldn't have the little tear up. That's an amazing way to meet.
That's phenomenal.
So we need to ask about food.
Yeah.
So you grew up with, who was around the table
and what were you eating um we weren't
this is a kind of funny thing i didn't realize i i and my apologies yes but i didn't realize i
kind of thought my mum was a bad cook and it's just that i realized after traveling my dad
likes shit food um because it took a while until I was travelling, like all our food
was overcooked,
everything was in it.
But that's the way
my dad likes it.
Still, I'll take him
to a beautiful steak restaurant
and he will literally say
the way I make it,
burnt.
I want it burnt.
Well, well, well, well done.
And I'm like,
there's no taste in it.
But that's the way
it took me a long time
to come back travelling
and my mum cooking it
and saying,
Mum, can you mind
doing my medium?
She went,
oh yeah, of course, son.
And then all of a sudden
I went,
I thought in my head for the whole time
that it was my mum's bad cooking
but it was just my dad's
eating habits
so what's like a memorable dish
from your childhood
well the one thing
I love
you've got a smile on your face
well the one thing I love
which is
because
we
on Christmas day
we always ordered
Chinese takeaway
like the Jews
I love
what do the Jews do in New York.
It was just our tradition.
And were their places open? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Chinese was always open on Christmas day.
Even open to sit in. But we'd
order the whole menu
and we'd put a big
cloth out on the floor. How exciting!
Yeah, it was great. Maybe we should do that one year.
Sam, my husband, will never let you
do that. But you know, because never let you do that but you know
because it's funny that as well
I took
because I remember
that was our tradition
my ex-girlfriend
we'd went out
for quite a long time
and
you'd alternate Christmases
and I remember
taking her to Christmas dinner
for a Chinese
and she was mortified
and yeah
just because
I think she was just
looking forward
to her traditional
kind of thing
but we'd do it
on Boxing Day we would do the traditional thing.
Oh, okay.
So would you have a turkey on the Boxing Day?
Yeah, we'd do all that stuff on Boxing Day.
So where did this tradition come from?
I don't know, probably just laziness.
But Sunday night as well, our Sunday dinner was always a Chinese.
But there's a very specific...
Scottish and Irish Chinese is different to anywhere else.
It's the curry sauce
it's um
yeah the Chinese curry sauce
sauce
it's um
it's a
I
it's
that's my favourite dish
a beef curry and chips
um
I
and I can't wait to get home
but nowhere else does it
it's only Northern Ireland
and Scotland does it
the way we do it
because every
you come down here
it's sort of like
I don't know
like beef and black bean
and all that kind of thing
but a dirty
really good dirty beef curry beef curry and chips oh it of thing. But a dirty, really good, dirty beef curry.
Beef curry and chips.
I'm buzzing to get up as soon as well.
As soon as I get to my mum's house,
there'll be one waiting for me.
You're very proud of your heritage, aren't you?
I think you've got to be in some ways, haven't you?
Like, I think throughout my career
and throughout my life,
I think there's something to be said
for having a chip on your shoulder.
But I think I've always had something to prove.
I think people kind of maybe in terms look down on us a little bit
and look down on our accent and stuff.
So I think you've got to kind of fight for everything.
But I think there's been a massive sea change in that in the last few years.
I think accents from all over Britain are now on TV.
It used to fucking break my heart when I did a show,
which I loved, for instance, say Monica de Glenn 20 years ago.
But when I'd get into ADR,
they'd make me redo my whole performance
and just go put a T on the end of the word.
And I'd be sitting there going...
That's not how it's made.
No, it's just like...
What I'm saying is completely clear.
It's clarified.
If you don't understand that, you don't want to understand it.
But that's changed massively now. Even it was really heartening doing our house coming in and don't get me wrong there's lines where i mumble and i need to redo it that that that happens
but there's been a huge change in the last couple of years just i think things like peaky blinders
and birmingham accents has really changed that and you're now hearing scouse accents manchester
geordie but you are the master
of accents
I would never have believed
you were Scottish
as Steve Arnott
I'm really not
how did you do it
that's the thing
I'm really not good at accents
I got lucky
because I was doing
a film called Piggy
with Paul Anderson
who's Arthur Shelby
and thingy
so me and Paul
were doing a film
and I was playing
a Cockney guy in that
and I stay in accents
when I'm doing them
I don't like
from when we start
I don't break them
I don't stay in character
I just stay in accent
and so luckily
when the Line of Duty
edition came through
I was already
in a London accent
again which is
sliding doors
but would you say
that was
because it was
slightly flat
oh yeah
flatter than London
but I think
it's kind of Essex.
Yeah, Essex, definitely.
I actually based a bit of it on Nick Leeson.
You remember the Rogue Trader guy?
Oh, yes.
I based a bit of it on him.
I listened to him for a while.
So do you just listen to it till you get it right?
I just do.
It's like going to the gym for a week
to even see if I stay in it.
Because when it is awkward is when,
so I stay in it the whole time
when a friend
is cast in a new series
so if it's somebody
like Stephen Graham
who's somebody
I've been close to
for a long time
it's jarring for them
for me to meet me
in a London accent
and I just stay in that thing
but the dialogue
in that show
is so challenging
and so heavy
like if you're going
into one of those
25 page interview scenes
and you've got these fabulous actors across the table and you're worried about your accent you're going into one of those 25 page interview scenes and you've got these
fabulous actors
across the table
and you're worried
about your accent,
you're going to be in trouble.
So it has to be that good
that I don't worry about it.
So I have to stay in it.
You know it gets good
when you start talking
to yourself
in an English accent.
Wow.
You know,
when you get up in the morning
and you start dreaming
and stuff,
that's when I know
I'm in the zone.
Genuinely, it is like going to the gym. The more you do it, the better you get up in the morning and you start dreaming and stuff, that's when I know I'm in the zone. Genuinely, it is like going to the gym.
The more you do it, the better you get.
And I can feel...
So maybe I was really strict about it in the early years
where I didn't break it at all.
But maybe the odd night now, like if my wife's visiting or something,
I'll stop it.
But I can tell the next day.
Like, I can feel the next day it's not as good as it was.
So I...
But maybe that's just in my head. But yeah, I really feel I next day it's not as good as it was but maybe that's just in my head
but yeah I really feel
I need to stay in it
or I feel like it's struggling
I cringe when I watch the first series back
because I think I'm
I can tell those moments I'm really straining
with certain words and I'm more worried about
I thought actually
looking back I think my performance is quite
flat in the first one because I'm up opposite this incredible actor, Lenny James, a lot of it.
And he's from London and I'm so worried about getting the accent right that I'll let it affect.
You're quite self-critical.
Actually, I kind of believe I haven't told you this actually already.
I kind of used you one bit for a wee bit of work for Line of Duty.
Mother! You're missing this!
What's this, darling?
You inspired Martin's performance. Can we say this?
Oh yeah, kind of, because basically I was trying to get back into the accent.
So what I start listening to people from thingy and I'd, and Dermot's a really good sounding
board for the accent.
Oh.
So I listened to, Dermot was here.
How interesting!
Yeah, yeah.
And it sounded, I know, I was like I know I was like I want a piece of that
that sounded like fun
so you were
a semi
you were a semi
professional footballer
I was a professional
sorry I'm so sorry
you were professional
I played two games
and we got beat
both 4-0
so
ok
so you were
a professional footballer
but you were also acting
so I saw you
way back when
in Sweet 16
how old were you
when that
17
so you're doing two
yeah it's the 20th anniversary
of that this year
are you doing anything for it
yeah we're having
they're doing like
a gala screening
in Glasgow
in a couple of weeks
that's nice
I'm excited man
and it's also
because what's became
mad about that
is it's
a lot of students study it it's on drama courses
It's great
So it's
Your performance is amazing
So Han you were you were being a professional footballer
Yeah
Whilst doing that
It was a weird time so I just
Because that was was that the beginning of your acting
Yes
Because that was like your first thing and you're not were you trained
Well I did bits no I did bits at school but just being where I'm'm from, it's not something that was considered a viable career.
My teachers always wanted me to be the dame in the school plays,
but my mates would have battered me.
You know what I mean?
It was just something you couldn't really do.
And then all these sort of events fell in
where I saw My Name is Joel by accident.
And I just loved that film because I went to see
I was on like a double date and we'd went to see
some blockbuster and we'd missed it so the only other
film was My Name Is Joe
and it just blew my mind because I didn't know
voices like
mine could be on a big screen
and I was like I know these characters, I understand
these characters, I relate to them and I went
I can do that and then just by chance
Ken Loach who
directed my name is joe was casting for sweet 16 at my school the next year i know i mean the
chances of that are and i still remember vividly my my teacher uh mr harkins who was also my he
was also the school football coach and um he was the dad of one of my close pals and he came to me
in the corridor
and said, look, there's this film happening
and they're coming to the school looking for kids
and the kid they're explaining is you.
You could do this.
I want you to meet them.
I now know that was a cheeky wee gobshite.
You know what I mean?
Like, I get that now,
but yeah, I remember that vividly
because that moment's probably changed my life
and thanks to
him for for believing in me and um but yeah that it's just all those moments fell in because i
didn't per se know who ken loach was but he said it's the guy that did my name is joe and i was
like i'm i'm going for this yeah and i just it was a bizarre thing like i've never felt more at home
when i was on set and now looking back if i I walked onto a set now with a new director stuff,
I wouldn't try half the stuff I tried then.
In some ways in my career, I'm trying to get back to that kid
because I was fearless.
I didn't know what I was doing.
I didn't worry about camera angles.
I didn't worry about whose take it was.
I didn't worry about who you were or how important.
I just believed in the truth of it. And I knew that story because it was set and't worry about who you were or how important i just i just believed in
the truth of it and i knew that story because it was set and sort of around my town so i was like
when people were saying something i was going no no no that wouldn't happen we'd do it like this
and the directors were like all right let's do it but now looking back i'm like the leverage they
gave me was was insane and i would never ask the questions I asked that quickly early on a new job um so I'm kind of
trying to get back to that but I'll be forever grateful for them to for taking a chance on me
and and they were great to me afterwards and also look they could have gave me buttons they didn't
give me a lot of money but they paid me what a leading actor in an indie movie should have been
paid um and that set me up for a couple of months
where I could take my time
and think about whether I really wanted to do acting or football.
And when it came to The Crunch, yeah, I just went for acting.
What did your parents think?
My mum was really adamant that I had to get my grades from school.
I was actually, again, for being a...
It's funny when you talk about cooking.
Around the house, I can't change a light bulb.
I can't change a socket.
I'm fucking close with that.
I didn't crack my first egg until I was in my 30s.
I threw a few eggs before then, but I hadn't...
And the only reason I cracked it as well
is because people found that out at a party after Tea in the Park
and everybody was obsessed with me cracking an egg.
And because I was drunk,
one crack,
bang,
smashed it.
Martin,
it's slightly under
and if it's too under for you,
you can,
we can fry it off.
No,
let's have a go.
No,
that's perfect.
As long as there's no blood.
This looks delish.
So,
okay,
so,
I love this.
The cracking eggs story
came from Tea in the Park,
a festival that is,
you know,
a Scottish festival.
It's the biggest Scottish festival
yeah well
unfortunately
I went to that
it's not there anymore
no I went to it
ten years in a row
as well
oh wow
do you want some
veg
yeah give me a wee bit
you're not into veg
no but give me a wee bit
my wife's getting me into it
hold on a minute
you're gonna have three
do you want some peas
nah I'm alright for peas
oh mum he's not a veg boy
he's not a veg boy
I can be
like my wife's got
like my wife's mushrooms
and her carrots
and her asparagus
is
are pretty amazing
she tries to
my wife
that's again
I think I've
she
because my wife is amazing
at DIY
like she
this is
okay this is interesting
so you can't do it
I can't
so you're the cook now
I'm literally
no so she's the cook
I'm kind of the skivvy
in the house
like literally
when we're at home
because she loves
she loves her DIY
she loves building shelves
and putting stuff up
so I'm always
standing behind her
with the baby
and the drill bits
and she just tells me
and she's up the ladder
looking
you're a teen
yeah yeah
so she would tell me
what she needs
and I'll run about doing it
so you're not the cook
no
but you're the sous chef maybe
no nothing
I can't I can't, I can't.
I literally am...
The Jumon?
It was funny,
my wife taught me how to cook
a lemon pepper chicken
with this bacon-wrapped asparagus.
Ooh.
Which was lovely,
and the only time I've actually ever cooked it,
I cooked it for Vicky McClure and Adrian
when we were in Line of Duty.
And so Adrian's a great cook
and Vicky can cook.
So we'd always be round there
as eating.
And it took me a while
after to figure this out.
But so we're saying,
I think we were eating
at like seven.
I said,
I'll cook it,
you come round.
And they turned up
at the door at half five.
Do you want a bit of?
I don't think it's great.
Oh, I'm sure it's great, Mum.
You'll have a wee bit
of that on the veg, thanks.
Oh, it's yum.
Yeah, it's great. So they turned up like a wee bit of that on the veg, thanks. Oh, it's yum. Yeah, it's great.
So they turned up...
On the veg.
He wants the gravy on the veg to mask the taste of vegetable.
Well, it just brings out the flavour, I think.
Go on.
They turned up at 5.30?
Yeah, because I thought they were like,
oh, we've got a nice bottle of wine, we just want to catch up and all that.
And I realise now it was because they wanted to keep an eye on me cooking and they would they would pop up every second
going oh maybe that's just a wee bit overdone maybe you want to get that and how do you feel
about people doing that when you're well i never cook so i don't mind i think that's literally
the only time i've ever cooked for people
we ask everybody starter main pudding drink of choice. Right.
Starter would be chicken wings.
I've kind of named them all out.
Where from?
It kind of depends.
Where's the best one I've had?
Again, I find the ones out of chicken shops in London,
after I've had a few drinks.
I'm sorry, this is a recurring theme.
They're so addictive.
The ones you can go and just give me 16 of them.
But even, I love KFC wings,
you know, the spicy hot ones, but probably
there's a place called
Big Wangs in
LA, which do some pretty good
lemon and pepper, extra crispy
lemon and pepper with some ranch dressing.
I love ranch dressing.
I can't believe that ranch is
not a big thing over here.
It's so good. I adore it.
So I'd probably go with those.
I've said the main, I'm sure, the beef curry chips.
Yeah.
Beef curry with onions, curry sauce, chips.
I've never been a massive pudding guy.
Right.
Actually, you know what?
The starter could be between chicken wings and crispy duck.
Oh, nice.
I love a bit of crispy duck.
Yeah, with the pancakes
and stuff
I mean
there's one thing
there's one starter
dessert that's always
kind of wound me up
and I had this
I don't know if you're
Craig Parkinson
who is a foodie
now
I've never had this
in my life
and I don't know
one Scottish person
who's had a deep fried
Mars bar
it drives me up the wall
so why
because it's a tourist trap
because there's literally
people who come to this one thing and they think it's how Scottish people eat but it'll drive me up the wall. So why do, why? Because it's a tourist trap because there's literally people who come to this one thing
and they think it's how Scottish people eat.
But it'll drive me up
because I remember then
my friend used to give me,
who's a real foodie,
used to give me right shit
about that all the time.
Wasn't it a joke though?
They'll decry everything.
Yeah.
But then, so he told me.
Did you find it quite offensive then?
No, I just,
this is when I found it offensive
because my mate,
who's a right foodie, who's a right foodie,
who's a right foodie,
he couldn't wait
because he was going to
Craig Parkinson.
He said,
I'm going to Heston Blumenthal
who's an incredible chef.
Oh God.
But he said...
You smell porridge there.
But he said,
I can't wait to try
his bacon and egg ice cream.
Oh yeah.
And I'm like,
are you fucking mad?
So because he's got a fancy name,
bacon and egg ice cream
is amazing
but a deep fried Mars bar
is sacrilege
so desserts are quite
political for me
but I'd probably
I don't know
like I don't know
I mean what would you
recommend
what would you say
is a good
I'm not that fussed
about pudding
actually mum
mum has done
and actually
you're so good at it
what
your roulade
I've done a roulade
and she's done raspberries because you're Scottish I don it. What? Your roulade. I've done a roulade. Raspberries because you're Scottish.
Is that a thing? Apparently.
If ever you want like high-class raspberries it says Scottish raspberries. Oh that's a good point.
Wow. Yeah. Oh wow. Now you said you weren't a pudding man. Well you have a bit. But it kind
of looks like a kebab so it's good. This is really nice, Mum.
Oh, that's lovely.
It's so true, it's delicious.
It's good, right?
Really good.
Is it slightly frozen in the middle?
A little bit, but I like that.
Yeah, me too.
So was it in the fridge?
Are you frozen strawberries?
Frozen raspberries.
And I think it kind of works slightly better.
Yes.
And what is that around the end
is that paper
what is the
it's meringue
this is lovely man
so it's like
yeah
a soft meringue
so you know
meringues are usually
quite like hard
but this is like
chewy and soft
mum that's delicious
is it
that's my fruit ration
for the day as well
oh my god
well done
god you don't do well
with your five a day
darling
how does the the next how long are you in the UK for did you ask him about done god you don't do well with your five a day darling how does the
the next
how long are you
in the UK for
did you ask him
about drink
his favourite drink
oh yeah
what's your drink
of choice
red wine
iron brew of course
really
yeah
oh yeah
can you get it
in the states
yeah
there's a wee shop
found a wee shop
but no
there's a
mainly a Malbec
well
for Ed
I love a pint of Tennant
I love a pint of Magnars
in Ireland
getting a pint of Magnars
out the tap
is beautiful
but
do you like Tennant?
yeah yeah yeah
but you know what
I like it in the terms of
I grew up with it
it's because it's familiar
well it's because
yeah I've been drinking it
since I was about 10
yeah
it's familiar
it can't be
because of the quality.
Yeah, it was just when I get home.
You're a romantic, aren't you?
You are romantic.
Everything.
I love it.
It's like, I believe also in fate,
but you've had the chance encounter with your wife.
You've got this kind of romance around Christmas
with the Chinese takeaway.
I love it.
The fact that your first acting job
was this film that you went on a double date
the year before was inspired by, you know, I mean...
Can I just ask,
what were you drinking at happy hour when you met her?
Tenants.
What was she serving?
Not tenants.
She can't get it in LA.
Well, I've got a tenant's tap in my house.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I've got an actual working tap in my house,
tenant's tap. Well, how do you get it in? Well, I need to call tenant's tap in my house. Oh, my God. Yeah, I've got an actual working tap in my house, tenant's tap.
Well, how do you get it in?
Well, I need to call them to get me a barrel because I've got a stock.
What would I be drinking?
I love Maker's Mark bourbon.
Me too.
What is it?
Bourbon.
I really like a Maker's Mark.
Because it's a weird story with that as well.
I did a film called Soul Boy about Northern Soul,
and I love Northern Soul music now.
I'm obsessed with it.
Okay, favourite artist?
Well, that's the thing
with Northern Soul.
There wasn't really...
I need a playlist done by you.
Yeah, Vaughan Baker.
You Didn't Say a Word
is an incredible song.
It should have been a Bond anthem.
But from that,
I had to learn to dance
to have to do
because they're the most...
What's this film called?
Soul Boy.
Oh, we should watch it.
It was myself and Felicity Jones
and Felicity's
an incredible
I'm really
I mean
the only thing is
it's a great film
up until the last
ten minutes
when there's a dance off
between me and
Craig Parkinson
and neither of us
that good
so you've seen all
these amazing dancers
throughout the film
Craig Parkinson
who's in
yeah yeah
I've worked with
Craig's one of my
best friends
I've done like
five jobs
he's in Line of Duty
he's the caddy
the caddy
oh
yeah
but isn't he much older than you
no
well
five years
oh
but I
so for learning to dance
with that
for that film
I had to go live with a guy
called Keb Dard
who's like a
legend in the
Northern Soul game
but you should
remember Madam Jojo's
yeah
I love it
he was the DJ in there
but he
he's like
what I learned as well
because it's all
high kicks and flips
so all the guys
were actually like
ex-kickboxers and stuff
they all did
martial arts aside
so I stayed in his house
where they taught me to spin
but he'd just sit
on a chair like this
with his feet crossed
with his top off
and his boxers
and a bamboo stick
like
got a fucking whip
on the floor
going spin you fucker
spin
Jesus Christ
and then
he would then
part of my reward
would be
a glass of Maker's Mark
so like
proper sort of
tortured in my head
like I was
for those weeks
so did you get drunk
or were you
sober as a judge
I was
how good were your
kicks
no the kicks
and the flips turned out alright because at the time I was really fit good were your kicks no the kicks and the flips
turned out alright
because at the time
I was really fit
like I'm just
I hadn't long
stopped football
and I'm kind of
lucky because I
although
I can't cook
I do have a massive
appetite like
I can eat
and eat and eat
so I'm lucky
that I do actually
are you greedy
kind of
like if I
if I get shared pizza
I'm like
I'm marking out
what bits are mine from the off you know I'm like I'm marking out what bits are mine
from the off
you know
I'm looking at
the big parts
going that's mine
but yeah
just from him
I think there's
just a weird
association
like I
maker's mark
is like a treat
for me
so I've been
drinking that
beer
but there's a
excuse me
I'm a Malbec man
but there's a
Cab Sav
which you get
in America
called Josh
from Josh Sellers
and I can drink it
And it's too easy to drink
Expensive wine
No that's the thing
With this
It's only 11 bucks
Oh great
Where is it from
Where did you get it
You can get it all over America
But it's only in
America
God you pay
Mom we're in LA
In five weeks
We're going to LA
But we all pay twice
As much as that
For a glass
Get Josh
Josh Cab Sav
And it's funny
Because when you go
Into a restaurant
it's like $50 a bottle
but you can go to
the local
discount store
and get it for $10
that's what we're
going to do
that's what we're
going to do
drink Cab Sav
Josh
that's the one
Martin before you
go and do the one show
just slightly
shushed
well yeah
we've got a few
more questions to ask you
your karaoke song
Brown Eyed Girl
mainly because
I can't sing
Sam Morrison
yeah because
you can just go
everybody sing
sha la la la la
and you don't need
to do it
because it's the one thing
and I'm genuinely
not one of those guys
who go I can't sing
and then bust out a song
those people
annoy the life out of me
because I would do anything
if I could just
give me one song
if I could sing one song
and I could do that
all day
I'd be happy
have you ever had to sing on a film?
Yes, and they've dubbed me.
Oh, that's so true.
And I feel like you're such a doer.
You really would have tried your hardest
to have sung that song.
Well, if they gave me a coach or something,
but it was never anything with a budget.
But I, it was one thing that terrified me.
I had to sing.
Actually, they didn't dub me in this.
I had to sing, I did a film with in this I had to sing I did a film
with Keira Knightley
and I have to
fake play piano
and sing
what's the
major
da da da da da da da
I can't remember
the name of the song
but it's a
it's like a
the best way to describe it
is like a 1940s rap
it's like
it's a weird old
thingy song
and I had to do that
and then I have to sing
another song
but I'm trying to
antagonise
Alexander Skarsgård
who
is a fucking giant
he's Tarzan
yeah
and so I'm trying to wind him up
and so
I've got
I had a couple of vodkas before
to try and get me in the zone
so singing this thing
and then it's the weirdest standoff ever
because I mean I'm
it feels a thing
like I'm 5'8
but anybody I've had a grievance with in a show whether it be
Alexander Skarsgård
Rupert Penry-Jones in this job
Craig Parkinson, Neil Morrissey, they're all 6'4
it's brutal
man and it's so
literally going toe to toe with
Tarzan after playing the piano and singing
it was a terrifying day of work
terrifying. Did it pay off?
It looks good because I look like a right cocky little bastard.
Martin, finally, before you go, have you got good table manners?
Well, I'm sitting here with my elbows at the table.
It depends on the setting, doesn't it?
I think I can be very well behaved.
And yeah, or I can be a bit mischievous.
We like to think that you've got your elbows
on the table
because you've had a nice day.
Oh, I've done, guys.
These are ruining the time.
Do you need a coffee
before you go?
I'm okay.
I will try and get a nap
in the car.
Will you?
Yeah.
Thank you so much
for doing this.
And good luck with our house.
It's been on
for a couple of nights already.
Go and watch it
if you haven't started watching it,
which I'm sure
you've already been watching it,
but catch up.
Guys, I'd love this.
Oh, good.
Tell all your friends to come.
Yeah, we've got a little warm glow about me now.
Oh, good.
Bum. Don't you such a delight he did not disappoint um bum we were the remedy to his arduous promo day he's had an awful day and i think he came a little bit reserved yeah i think he was tired
yeah tired reserved jet lagged
we sorted him out
probably actually dreading the idea of having to sit with us for
two hours
and chew the fat
but how he loved it and thanked us
we had so many hugs from Martin
proper hugs darling
love him
just an absolute pleasure to have Martin Comston
chatting with us, giving us a few exclusives.
Mum, you missed this, but you didn't hear.
But when he needed to get back, when he was talking about the accent,
he was listening to Table Manners, Dermot O'Leary's episode to really get him into the swing of things.
Why Dermot O'Leary?
Because he said it was quite, he's got a good voice for the accent.
And I guess Dermot's a bit Essex, isn't he?
Of course he is, darling. He's from Essex.
Yeah, anyway, so you're welcome, Jed Mercurio.
That food was delicious.
Did you like it? Ginger pig did us proud again.
Loved it.
Another Steve.
Yeah, loved it.
That roulade was chewy and delightful.
Your dauphinoise, how many cloves of garlic did you have in the dauphinoise?
Three to four.
Oh.
I grated them in.
Heaven.
And it's the first time I've done it that way.
Often I've infused the milk with garlic and then taken it out.
Didn't need to.
But I think actually leaving the garlic in was worth it.
I could taste it more and it was heaven.
And I do think a little hack,
if you're doing raspberry roulade,
use frozen raspberries
and let them thaw out once you've made
it. It keeps the whole dessert cold so you don't
have to put it in the fridge and the
raspberries stay whole. Loved it, Mum.
Thank you. Pleasure.
And thank you for listening and thank you, Martin.
Oh, what a delight. Good luck
with the show. Yeah, absolutely.
Our house is out now.
Go and watch it on RTV.
RTV.