Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S14 Ep 13: Christmas Extravaganza
Episode Date: December 21, 2022It’s become an annual Table Manners tradition now, so here it is.. voila.. our Christmas Extravaganza! We catch up with a handful of our favourite guests to see how they spend the festive period. Jo...ining us are Mel C, Tom Daley, David Schwimmer, Paul Hollywood and the King of Christmas himself Michael Buble! Grab yourself a mince pie & a glass of bubbly & tune in! Sending all our listeners lots of love and hope you all have a wonderful Christmas! 🎄 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hello and welcome to our very special Table Manners Christmas extravaganza.
This is a special Christmas edition.
We've decided that this is now our tradition that we do a Christmas special.
So we've decided to call on some of our lovely friends from over the years that have been on Table Manners
and ask them what they're doing with their Christmas day.
How are you mum?
I'm fine darling. So we're having a pre-Christmas dinner aren't we because we're not going to
be here for Christmas. Yeah and actually I'm doing it here. Yep. Which I'm very happy about.
We've done all the pre-prepared sprouts and there's going to be hopefully minimal fuss
because actually the delivery's coming at one so it better be minimal fuss. I'm going
to get the turkey crown later.
The kids are going to roll in from their last day of school and then have Christmas dinner on the table.
Great.
Just how I like it.
Great.
Everyone can buzz off by 8 o'clock.
Fine, darling.
Is that a hint?
Yes.
Because we love Christmas dinner so much, but we don't know whether we'll be getting that in,
woe is us, on a hot holiday.
We hope you're all having a lovely time getting ready for Christmas.
I feel like nobody has done their Christmas shopping this year.
All my friends have said don't buy and let's just go out together
and go somewhere really lovely together.
I think that's a really nice idea.
So, you know, go to an exhibition or go out for a nice dinner or go to see a show rather than just spend money.
I don't need things.
Yeah, I think that's a really nice idea.
So shall we go on to our first guest?
Yep.
We have the wonderful Melanie C calling in to spice up our Christmas.
Hi, how are you?
I'm all right. How are you guys doing? Nearly Christmas. I know, it up our Christmas. Hi, how are you? I'm all right.
How are you guys doing?
Nearly Christmas.
I know, it is nearly Christmas.
Whereabouts are you at the moment?
You look like you're in a hotel room.
I am.
I mean, is this a premiering hub?
Yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Sporty Spice needs to not be in a premiering.
Do you know what, though?
I'm going to flex now because I'm singing at Westminster Abbey tonight.
Gorgeous.
So we're just around the corner because the dressing room was just like a curtain and
pole thing. So I thought, well, let's just get quiet.
What are you singing, Mel?
I'm singing Silent Night with Alfie Bowe.
Good God.
That's a Christmas cracker.
Yeah. And a string quartet. I'm absolutely pooing my pants.
No, don't. You know what what even if you make a bum note which
you won't Mel because you're brilliant reverb just makes everything sound heavenly so don't
worry about it you got it babe well I rehearsed yesterday in the barracks with like the MD and
the musicians and it was such a dry room and he was like project to the back of the abbey
and I was like oh my god I'm out of my depth here what am I doing and then we've got to the back of the abbey and I was like oh my god I'm out of my depth here what am I doing
and then we've got to the abbey and we go here's your in-ear pack here's your mic I'm like oh that's
fine and what I'm doing now you'll be fine but when we start recording I'm gone so there we go
how's your Christmas looking this year do you know what I'm so excited for Christmas this year
because it's going to be very traditional I I've got my mum staying with me.
We know how great mums are at Christmas.
And it's been...
Oh, that's a funny little look there.
Yeah, we...
I haven't actually looked at you in the eye since you've
come home. Hi, Mum. I haven't seen me at all.
I'm making... Have you got a quick look or something?
No, because I don't want to mush my hair.
Oh, right. Fair enough. Sorry. Go on.
Your hair looks fabulous, by the way. Thank you. Just had it done. So go on. You're going to mush my hair out. Oh, right, fair enough. Sorry, go on. Your hair looks fabulous, by the way.
Thank you.
Just had it done.
So go on, you're going to be with your mum?
Yeah, so I've had a really busy year.
I think very much as you have,
we've had a bit of a crazy one, haven't we?
It kind of feels like because we had that two years of,
we weren't doing nothing,
but we weren't out there doing the thing that we love so much.
Now we've been back out doing all the festivals and being together in person. It's felt quite
frenetic. And I feel like we're making up for lost time. Absolutely. So yeah, I'm looking forward to
putting my feet up. I think my mum's going to really look after me. She's been cooking already.
I've got lots in me freezer. Oh, nice. and will you be going with like the pigs in blankets
will you be making your own Yorkshire puddings will you even have a Yorkshire pudding on your
Christmas table oh no we don't have a Yorkshire pudding on Christmas day this year we're being a
little bit radical in that we're having beef and turkey because we've all finally yeah we've all
finally decided we don't really like turkey that much. We kind of eat it under duress every year just because that's what you do.
But I want a bit of turkey, but a bit of beef would be nice as well.
So maybe we should have Yorkshire puddings.
Babe.
We should.
Just do it.
It's on.
And don't stress.
Just get the Aunt Bessies.
They're the best.
Now, which Spice Girl are you giving a Christmas present to?
I gift all of the girls.
Oh, do you?
Yeah, we all gift each other and we always have.
We went through a phase when the children were younger.
We went through a phase of just doing the kids.
Yeah.
But now the kids are all growing up.
We're kind of just giving to each other again, which is nice.
That's so sweet.
What have you bought your daughter this year?
Oh my goodness.
You would love this.
She presented me with a PDF.
Oh my goodness.
It was like a powerpoint presentation
i mean literally if she put this much effort into her homework she'd be fine but no it's in the
christmas list it's cosmetics it's very expensive leisure wear perfumes yeah all kinds of things
but i think it's good because you know she's 13 she knows what she likes so i'd rather take the
guesswork out of it.
I love that she's into luxe leisure wear
when her mother is Sporty Spice.
That's kind of genius.
And also, Victoria Beckham's got you covered
on all the cosmetics.
Surely you can just get a freebie there.
You're fine.
She's shifting it always on Instagram, isn't she?
Her favourite Kohl's sparkly liner.
Just give her one of them.
Well, you know what?
I've got quite a few bases covered.
But, you know, these kids have got expensive tastes these days haven't they well let's talk about new music with
you what's happening in 2023 for melcy oh well i'm very excited i've been booking lots of shows
there's going to be lots more festivals but my focus will be new music i had a few sessions but
i think next year i need to dedicate all of my time to that.
I'm going to be dancing at Sadler's Wells in January. Yes! Wow! That sounds amazing! Yeah I can't believe it still.
I've been working on it since March because I've had to retrain my body because even though
you know I'm physically active the whole dancing and the kind of, the discipline of that.
And as well because it's contemporary dance,
which I've never done before.
I trained classically until I was 19.
So, yeah, I'm a little bit creaky in the old hips,
but it's been wonderful.
I've been part of the development.
It's with an incredible choreographer called Jules Cunningham.
So we are going to be performing from the middle to the end of January.
I'll be at Sadler's Wells, which is like a childhood dream to get on that stage.
I think we're going, Jess.
Will you be singing at all in it, or is it pure dance?
You know, we are singing a little bit,
but I don't think it's going to be anything anybody expects.
It's very arty.
It's been quite a journey, kind of delving into these emotions
and yeah it's a real privilege and an honor to be able to do it oh mel this sounds so exciting
and terrifying no no that's good though that's good so you're at saddle as well singing with
an opera singer tonight yes yeah you're doing it yeah. Now, what are you asking for Christmas?
You know, I'm really happy because I know I'm getting what I want for Christmas,
which is five days putting my feet up.
Yeah.
That's it.
Nice.
I want to put my feet up.
I want to eat nice food.
I want to drink nice drinks.
I want to be with my family.
You know, when you're so busy and travelling, that is what you miss, isn't it?
I want to sit down.
I want to play Scrabble.
I want to make fun of each other,
I want there to be loads of banter, loads of
love and laughter. That's all I want for
Christmas. You know what I've got for all my
I've got Uno Extreme.
Have you ever played Uno Extreme?
I played Uno and I'm a big fan, so
let me know what Extreme's about.
Maybe you need to put this in your
daughter's stocking.
Yes. Apparently it like flicks out Uno, so it's extreme and it goes kind of mad and you have to catch them.
Apparently it's quite good.
We're also going to try Pie Face in our house.
Have you ever tried Pie Face?
Oh, yeah.
You know, I was just thinking, I haven't, and I was thinking of it when you were talking about the extreme.
That would be fun.
So get Pie Face and Uno Extreme and you'll be, add that to Scrabble and Monopoly
and you'll be sorted for Boxing Day.
Now, what's your favourite Christmas song?
Oh, that is a good question.
There are so many.
I kind of laughed this year
because I think for the first time
I realised the ridiculousness of us listening
to the same songs year in, year out.
You're so right.
It's such a weird thing, isn't it?
But I love, what's the slayed one is it
called merry christmas everyone it's christmas yeah that that's the one i i tend to break out
if anybody wants me to sing a christmas tune i love have yourself a merry little christmas as
well yeah i still love wham oh yeah last christmas it's my favorite I think I think I've spoken about this already
but there's this
Charlie Brown
Christmas album
which is like
Charlie Brown
from Snoopy
and it's like
this jazz album
Mel you've got
to listen to it
like it's so good
it's really gorgeous
and Christmassy
and it sounds
really nice
when you're like
a Charlie Brown
Christmas
it's called
by the Vince
Guraldi trio
it's so lovely
if you're cooking or Christmas Eve, it'll be gorgeous.
Who are you kissing under the mistletoe this year, Mel?
Oh, well, I'm single and ready to mingle.
So have you got any ideas?
Well, let me have a little thing.
Well, I'll come out with you, Mel.
You and Len on the razz.
Let's go.
I think, you know what?
It's a different Christmas for me this year being single
but in in a way it's just nice I can really enjoy all my family you know mum dad daughter
yeah be nice can I just say Mel you're looking younger and younger every time I see you what
what what is it what's the secret well you know do look after myself. I think this year it's been quite work heavy, so I'm tired.
But I haven't had enough time to have fun.
And I think sometimes it's the fun that, you know, ebbs away at the looks.
Ruins your skin.
Yeah, absolutely.
You don't seem tired.
You seem full of life, a force of nature, Mel.
Oh, well, thank you.
It's talking to you two. Is it?
Listen, honestly, we're so excited.
We're going to come to Sadler's Wells.
We'll see you in the new year.
Have a gorgeous Christmas.
Oh, my goodness.
Have a beautiful day,
a beautiful Christmas time.
And, you know, to all your listeners
out there as well,
it's been another interesting year.
But let's have a nice break
and brace ourselves for 23.
Oh, thanks, Mel.
Happy Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Lots of love. Merry Christmas thanks, Mel. Happy Christmas. Merry Christmas.
Lots of love. Lots of love.
Oh, Mel getting to sing in Westminster Abbey.
Didn't Gaggar like Alfie Bird?
Loved him.
Oh, that's so nice.
What a nice way to get Christmassy.
Right, next up, we have one of our lovely guests from,
I don't know, was he last year?
Was he this year?
He's relatively recent alumni
of Table Manners. It's Tom
Daly. I hope he's got his knitted speedos
on, darling. We'll find out. Hi!
Hello! Oh my god!
You look like you're in a grotto, Tom.
Where are you?
I know, I feel like I'm in a grotto. It's my kitchen.
Oh, wow! You're kidding!
The fairly lights in the rafters.
You do the Christmas glow up.
Yeah.
And honestly, the Christmas lights were a nightmare because we put them all up.
And then we waited to turn them on until Robbie got home.
And we turned them on and they were cool white instead of warm white.
So then, instead of taking them down and getting new ones, I decided to paint every single bowl.
Hang on.
Was Robbie going gonna throw the
shit fit because they were not warm white or was it that you're a perfectionist it was it was me
and Lance we were like you know what if we're gonna walk in here it was like a dental it was
like walking into surgery it was like it was so bright that you kind of squinted I was I was
picturing this like beautiful starry night scene
while we're having our dinner.
But no, it was like,
we must've been able to be seen from space.
It was that kind of bright.
So now they have all been,
I basically took a protein scooper,
filled it with paint
and then like dabbed each light bulb in paint.
So you can kind of see that they're partially covered.
So there's like little bits of white coming through,
but yeah. They look gorgeous. So there's like little bits of white coming through.
But yeah, they look gorgeous. They look almost like red.
Yeah. So I actually used orange paint to try and make them warm.
So they kind of so we might even be able to put them up like for Halloween next year and then keep them up through Christmas.
So perfect. They can be pumpkins. Yeah, exactly.
So so what's Christmas Day looking like for you? I can imagine you're going to be it's going to be pumpkins next year. Yeah, exactly. So what's Christmas Day looking like for you?
I can imagine it's going to be a perfect Christmas if this is what you're doing with just the lighting.
We do go a little bit wild for Christmas.
Robbie, our son, is four years old now,
so he is fully loving it.
I mean, you can see Elf on the Shelf up here,
trapped in a jar currently.
Oh, babe, commiserations.
I know. Because I don't know why you've started that yeah me neither me me neither there's been a couple of uh mild panics uh on a couple of
mornings uh but you know Christmas day I'm super excited about it's just going to be me Lance and
Robbie in the morning um because rest of my family are going to be in Plymouth because we're going
down to Plymouth later on.
But yeah, it's just going to be me, Lance and Robbie in the morning.
And then what ends up happening is that because we're in London, there's lots of people that don't end up going home for Christmas,
whether it be people that are working in theatre or, for example, my coach.
So my coach is going to come over for Christmas dinner with her family.
And then we also might have a couple of friends
that are in the theatre industry that might come along too.
So it's, but we do a lot of food we do lots of food well I remember this last
time you're like big cooks yeah so like the previous years before lockdown we had like 27
people come over for Christmas I know it's a lot but we also like fuse together that traditional
British Christmas dinner and then American Christmas dinner because
in America like Lance makes some of the most crazy Christmas foods that I've never even heard
of before like for example there's this thing called a green bean casserole which are like
tinned green beans with like mushroom soup soy sauce with like crispy onions on top and then
baked in the oven sounds really gross but it's actually delicious but then the other one he makes which I again still don't understand but it works that's sweet potatoes mashed up with
eggs soy sauce loads of brown sugar and then it's popped in the oven with marshmallows on top
yeah is that a thanksgiving situation yes it's like giving one yes it's like a thanksgiving one
but we have it for Christmas as well because sometimes we put candied pecans on top as well,
and that's also delicious.
So, yeah, we go for it on Christmas for sure.
Right, so you mentioned your coach is coming.
Yes.
Does that mean you're training for something next year, Tom?
Well, I haven't been on a diving board since the Olympics last year.
So, yeah, so I haven't been on a diving board since the Olympics last year. So, yeah.
So I haven't actually gone back yet.
So I'm sure my coach is going to come back to pitch me to come back to training.
But I haven't made any decisions yet because I've been doing so many different things since the Games.
I've been working on the book, my knitting stuff.
And that's basically what I've been doing uh since then it's just like knitwear design
and also opportunities in tv and I would love to like transfer into becoming more of a fashion
designer and so it's been you know I saw you perform at the BFA's which was amazing oh babe
I didn't see you but I knew that you were there who who were you wearing at the I was with I was
Ami so I was sat on the Ami table.
Nice.
I was wearing knitwear, of course,
but it was like all like had loads of like crystals all over it.
So it was like a sparkly knit.
It was very heavy.
It was like chain mail, but it was good.
Are you going to be wearing your own knitwear on Christmas day?
Have you knitted a new Christmas day jumper?
I should get it.
I should get it. I was going to wear it.
Wait.
I love this. Let me get oh let me let me get her on
let me get her on oh my god he's made this oh my god no that is a jumper that's incredible
can we can we take a photo of this yeah i'll get them my lights in the background
that is stunning that is gorgeous that is so with your jumper, have you got little knitted Speedos on?
I had to ask it.
Yes, I see.
I know I've made them before.
They don't do very well in the water.
So they go a bit soggy.
So I stick to Christmas.
I even made matching ones for Lance and for Robbie as well.
But Robbie, my son, won't wear anything that I make him.
Oh, that is so annoying yeah but it's nice
and cozy it's a nice really warm I can't wait for there to be a Tom Daley knitwear store on
Mount Street or you know Bond Street I know that's the thing like at the moment like I've
been doing loads of knitwear design I sell um hits so you can actually like all of the things
that I design you can make
yourself but i haven't got any ready to wear stuff so if you're not a knitter unless you want to
learn like for example this is one of the ones that i sell as a kit that somebody can make themselves
so if you know how to knit you can make one of them your christmas presents completely sorted
tom daly's just sorted you out with what do you call it a pattern a knit a kit so so a knit kit
so it's got the yarn the needles the pattern the instructions of how to make it how to learn to knit everything it's all in one
place what what are you asking for for Christmas oh gosh honestly that is like the question that
I get like my husband's like what do you want for Christmas and often the things that I love
are doing things with my family and creating memories like I don't really want
anything in particular or like last year I got a sewing machine and I really wanted to learn how to
sew it's still in its box um I still haven't quite got there yet got around to doing it but I've set
myself up with some uh sewing lessons next year so that's gonna be my resolution but honestly I
just love being able to go and do things whether that's going to like organizing a little theater trip with like a matinee show on a on a weekend
with my son and doing little things like that that's what I love about Christmas and it's about
creating memories rather than the things I get for me I know that sounds really cliche but it is
that for me that's what I get excited about Christmas are you going to the pantomime this
year with Robbie yes I think we're going to go to the Palladium I don't know if we're going to go
on the 20th or the 23rd um but we're going to be going to we want to go and see a panto because
Robbie's never seen a panto he's obsessed with theatre at the moment and his favourite show
is uh Six the Musical oh my gosh he really he is obsessed like I started listening to the soundtrack I know he's
probably a little bit young to go but he was obsessed with the soundtrack and now to the point
where we have to turn all the lights off every single night put on disco lights and he has to do
a performance every single night I love it and he's even like the open choreo with like the
he like does all the, it's really sweet.
Very sweet.
Has he watched The Greatest Showman yet?
He hasn't.
That would be a good one.
Oh, you're in now.
I pass the baton of The Greatest Showman on to you and your family.
That's such a good one.
It's fabulous.
Very good.
They love it all.
Oh, that's a good point.
Because that's exactly right up his alley, I bet.
That's going to be our weekend sorted.
Great showman.
What's your favourite Christmas song?
You and Lance.
Honestly, Robbie had his little Christmas show nativity last week,
which was really, really sweet.
What was his part?
So he was a narrator and his line was,
and it went a bit like this.
And he had to do a little arm signal. It was really sweet.
But so my favourite song is Mariah Carey, All I Want For Christmas Is You.
I know it's probably everyone's favourite, but it is the song that I,
if I ever host parties or barbecues or anything,
no matter what time of year it is, it's always the last song that plays.
So even in the middle of summer it plays and it's if I ever want to clear out the house and like okay right now
we're done like it's over I play that song and people are like people like love it and then
they're like oh actually you know what maybe I should leave now that's genius that's like the
best kind of table manners of being like thank you so so much. We've had a great time now. Yeah, exactly. It's like, this is it.
So, but, and then in Robbie's Nativity,
the song that ended it was Feliz Navidad.
So we've heard a lot of that this year.
Oh, that's my favourite.
Yeah.
So Robbie knows all the words to that one.
He does the whole little,
has a whole little dance routine to it.
So yeah, that's the,
those two songs are probably our faves.
Tom, look, we're going to leave you
to go and enjoy Christmas.
Enjoy your warm lights. Thank you so much for coming probably our faves. Tom, look, we're going to leave you to go and enjoy Christmas. Enjoy your warm lights.
Thank you so much for coming on our Christmas special.
And we look forward to more knitting, more sewing.
Yes, I'm going to be sewing, knitting.
Oh, and I think you better do a bit more diving for us, Tom.
Oh, well, maybe I will.
Definitely.
Just for you.
Just for us.
Merry Christmas, Tom Daley.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
Oh, Tom Daley.
The fact that he just dipped all those Christmas lights.
And when I say, you'll see it, we'll put up a picture of,
there were lots of Christmas lights and he's dipped every one with different colours.
Yeah.
The effort.
Yeah.
The attention to detail.
I loved his Christmas jumper.
Oh, it's gorgeous.
Gorgeous.
We'll put a link up for...
I could do with that myself today.
I'm frozen.
Sorry, I'll put the heat on.
Now, we made sure that even though you called Mum a Christmas pudding,
we got some important Christmas canapé titbits from Paul Hollywood.
I love Christmas.
I love cooking for Christmas.
I love...
The whole thing about Christmas for me is being in the kitchen.
I've got to make mince pies next week
because it's the 1st of December coming up.
Have you got your Christmas tree?
No.
Well, I used to not...
Up until a couple of years ago, I was buying real ones. Now Well, I used to not. Up until a couple of years ago,
I was buying real ones.
Now I've got,
I bought this artificial one
a couple of years ago,
which is really nice.
And it looks like it's got snow on it.
It's quite expensive.
So I'm going to have to use that
for the next 10 years.
Yeah, to get your money's worth.
To get my money's worth
and to justify not burning the planet up.
What's your favourite taste of Christmas?
The first glass of champagne in the morning when I'm starting to put the turkey and prepare the turkey
i think normally and i never drink normally before like six o'clock most of the time
so yeah um i don't know and i'll have a nice bottle of champagne i don't normally drink champagne
don't you no but i'll have a bottle of Cristal
I'll crack one open
at 10 o'clock
in the morning
have a nice
has to be really
cold though
if I'm going to
drink it
and then I'll
start preparing
and rubbing the
bird
in the kitchen
and then
stuff it
turkey
get it all ready
yeah
the local farmer
brings it round
the day before
he leaves it on my doorstep like for Christmas and then I'll bring it out get it all ready yeah but all the local farmer brings it round day before he leaves it
on my doorstep
like for Christmas
and then I'll bring it out
get it all prepared
set the oven
get it all in there
and then once all the
veg and all the
potatoes are all
all chopped up
and prepared
then I
literally the thing is
I'll spend an hour
making that gravy
getting the gravy
spot on
what
reducing it down
once I've got the
bird out rested yeah and i've
got all my juices in there and i've thrown me a little bit of corn flour in there me wine i'm
reducing it down i'm throwing stock in there and i'm going to reduce that down because i'll probably
do a chicken that the week before to get some stock to use that initially for the christmas
yeah so who's coming for christmas uh well obviously my fiancee is going to be there yeah
and then i've got uh her family and i think there's i think it's about five six months
what's santa claus bringing you you hope what do you hope he might bring peace and quiet would be
good and goodwill to all men do you really mean that oh yeah I wish goodwill to everybody. But no, for me, do you know what?
I'm so difficult to buy for.
Are you?
Yeah.
Why?
Because I'm impulsive and I'll buy stuff anyway.
Exactly.
Yeah, me too.
So I think, what's left?
And then I'll buy something and go, what have I just done that for?
Could I have asked someone to get me that for Christmas?
I tend to get, you know, Viz.
Remember the old Viz?
Yeah, comic.
Comic.
I always get that
annual every year
and it stems from
do you?
yeah I do
because I read them
when I'm on the loo
so ultimately
so you're loose
from the Viz comics
so what it is
is when you're
at Christmas time
my mum
always used to
bring me an annual
and she used to
put it at the bottom
of the bed
when I was a kid
and it was always put at the bottom of the bed when I was a kid.
And it was always put at the bottom of the bed to give you 10 more minutes for a mum to have another sleep.
Just something to look at before we go.
Now there's iPads.
Kick a door.
Did you have a chocolate orange in your stocking?
Yeah.
Always?
A lot of the time.
And then an orange.
An orange.
And some nuts and stuff like that.
Some all sorts of weird stuff.
And handkerchiefs with our initials on and stuff like that.
What was your best ever Christmas present you can remember?
Me rally chopper.
His rally chopper.
My purple chopper.
I like a purple chopper.
And I feel like you're a lunch, Christmas lunch kind of person.
Oh.
Late lunch.
Four o'clock, three o'clock.
I think any later than that, it's too late.
Because you've been drinking all day.
You need something to soak it up.
And you can't digest your dinner before you go to bed.
No, I would certainly go for three, four o'clock.
After the Queen's speech.
Or the King's.
King's speech, yeah, you're right.
And are there usually fights on Christmas Day in your house?
No, when I was growing up, no.
My family, we used to go to church in the morning at 11 o'clock
and then we'd sing all our carols and then I'd be fuming
because I'd want to get back to the house to play me toys.
We were allowed a toy in the church on Christmas Day.
So, of course, that was great.
But I'd ride up and be Raleigh Chopper.
Best Sunday ever.
What's your favourite hymn then, being a church boy?
There were more choruses than hymns.
But hymns around Christmas time.
I love In the Bleak Midwinter.
I love that.
And Ding Dong, Merrily on High.
It's such a happy song.
Can you sing?
Yeah.
I bet you can.
I'm okay.
He's always dragged in the front as kids when I was in this little Christian group to go and sing.
With everybody else, I hated it.
I just being in front of an audience that sort of go to the back, which is quite funny.
Yeah, I enjoy singing on my own.
Don't sing in the shower.
That's weird.
I sing in my car.
That's where I do a lot of singing on my own
you're a belter
I like the quiet stuff
like the sort of
the eagles
you know
I'll listen to some
of the eagles
sing along to that
harmonious stuff
would that be
one of your
karaoke choices
if you had to
oh no
that would be
chocolate salty balls
what the
South Park one
yeah
wow
I haven't heard that
since I was a
fucking teenager it's easy to say chocolate salty balls I can't heard that since I was a fucking teenager.
It's easy to say.
Chocolate salty pork.
I can't remember.
Any of the early Beatles stuff.
Yeah.
Because it's short and choppy and you don't have to hold a note.
So anything like that is good.
What's the worst present you've ever got, poor Hollywood?
At Christmas.
I can't say that because I know the people in question
will they listen to this
probably
I like all my presents
because they're gifts
they're gifts
I'll just re-wrap it
and send it out
you're one of them
I do re-wrap
but the problem is
you've got to make
a mental note
that you don't give it
back to them
absolutely
it's bad that isn't it
is it bad to do that
sustainable living
to re-wrap and give it back it bad to do that sustainable living to rewrap
and give it back
it's called recycling
recycling
recycling
recycling
yeah
what bake
are you making
apart from
Christmas pud
mince pies
yeah but you have
them in the run up
right
no darling
you're not going to
have another
piece de resistance
I've got to do
I'll probably end up
doing a yule log
to be honest
that'll probably
be Christmas night and Boxing Day but I'll probably do i'll do a yule log yeah uh leading up to
christmas and i'll do it with um orange chocolate and it's delicious oh yeah really with fresh cream
inside it with the zest of a mandarin inside that as well so is that just really a swiss roll
yeah essentially well yeah but it's actually a meringue-based sponge. Oh.
And you have to break its back when you roll it up.
What, you mean like a roulade?
It's very similar to a roulade when you roll it up.
It will crack slightly.
I like that.
And then you roll it all up and cream, loads of cream inside.
It's fantastic.
Well, I was spending Christmas with Paul, to be honest.
Yeah.
The blue eyes.
You still like him?
Angelic. Still love him. Yeah. He blue eyes. You still like him? Angelic.
Still love him.
Yeah.
He was very good fun. And I think he'd make a really good Christmas.
I hope his pudding's good and his Christmas cake.
Well, from Christmas pudding to banana bread.
Now, this is an episode that people have not stopped talking about
when David Schwimmer dissed Dr Alex's banana bread.
He came back.
He's a glutton for punishment. He
came back for more. We chatted to him over Zoom to talk about how he was doing Hanukkah and
Christmas. David Schwimmer, welcome back to Table Manners, the Christmas special.
Oh, thank you. Thanks for having me.
Will you be like the other New York Jews and be eating Chinese on Christmas Day?
I won't only because, actually, that's how I grew up, of course, having Chinese
and going to a movie around Christmas time. But no, actually, because my daughter's mum is a Brit.
And so we'll be spending a lot of time with that side of the family, all the British.
We'll be in London, basically. And so we'll be my daughter has so many cousins and aunts and uncles and
a lovely lovely family even though her mum and I are separate or divorced you know we're we're
still great friends and we all hang out and the families get on very well so do you do you kind
of feel like as an American that you go to England for Christmas and it's like the holiday the films
you're like oh it's gonna snow and everyone's saying god it's like the holiday, the films, you're like, oh, it's going to snow. And everyone's saying, God, it's a bit chilly outside, isn't it? And you kind of live for that.
Yeah, except for the snow part. I mean, I can't remember the last time I was in London over
Christmas and it snowed. But yeah, it definitely feels kind of exotic to me because it's quite a
warm time of year. And there are all these traditions that that side of the family that I've kind of come to love and embrace.
So I'll be doing Hanukkah here, you know, and her mom is Jewish.
So we'll have some kind of celebration of Hanukkah here and then Christmas in London.
Do you get Hanukkah gelt or do you give Christmas presents?
I have done in the past, but, and we'll light the candles.
Actually, I have a really great, funny menorah.
That's Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
The menorah is Ruth?
Yeah, it's brilliant.
Oh, my word.
She's like holding a big gavel. It's brilliant. Oh, my word. She's like holding a big gavel.
It's brilliant.
I somehow saw it online and I bought it right away.
I'm going to be Googling straight after this.
I'll have to send you a photo of it.
Anyway, so, yeah, we'll do presents.
You know, my daughter has been sending, you know,
suggestions of, you know, their wish list of presents.
What's the going kind of present of her age at the moment?
What are they all wanting?
Right now, what Cleo was requesting a lot of
has been these different stickers from a website.
So a big sticker for her laptop and for her room and everything.
So she's kind of obsessed.
That's doable.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, well, yeah, but they can be quite expensive too.
A sticker.
Yeah, you'd think, what's a sticker? But there's some of these stickers that are so big
in scale that they run 50, 60 bucks each. And she's made a list of, you know, like 30. Look, I'm really proud because I'm raising a really good negotiator.
So she's, and my parents are both lawyers.
My sister's a lawyer.
So I've got that kind of negotiating gene.
Runs in the blood.
So I'm proudly passing that on.
So some of the Christmas traditions that you'll be doing in London,
what are some of your favourite ones that they'll do? Any that you can recommend that we should'll be doing in London what what are some of your favorite ones that they'll
do any that you can recommend that we should all be doing well you know they have a tradition where
they would take the kids to the pantomime right um and I've gone a few times but this year
um my buddy actually Nick Muhammad is doing a show at the Soho Theatre. So I'm trying to get the family, all the kids to come to see his show.
It's called A Christmas Carol-ish, I think.
So we'll probably do that.
And then I also like your tradition of crackers, Christmas crackers.
Oh, yeah, you don't have them in the States, do you?
No, we don't do that.
And we tried to bring them over when we celebrated christmas in
the states and we were told not to because it's got kind of gunpowder that makes them crack and
it would have been detected so didn't bring them over so i think you may be a good start christmas
cracker business in the states well there are some shops here that do it oh good yeah yeah some british shops that
that sell them anyway yeah so i enjoyed that you know just the big it's very similar to me
the feeling of like any big family meal um thanksgiving for me has was always the one
which i just celebrated with my family and my daughter in Los Angeles um
you know just the whole family getting together good food good wine um good cheese good cheese
course you know cheese yeah do you have Christmas lunch or Christmas dinner well they call it I
think they call it dinner but it starts at like two or three. Yeah, okay.
We never particularly appreciate the people that start dinner
and you have to wait all day for that Christmas dinner
until like eight or nine o'clock.
It doesn't work well for us.
What's your favourite Christmas film, David?
You used to go to movies every year,
but is there one that really sticks out that you'll you'll try and get Cleo watching the one that I think Cleo and I have enjoyed the most uh well we really we like
Home Alone and uh but these are like she's much older now I mean she's 11 so you know it's kind
of almost outgrown these films but also Elf like Will ferrell yeah so i guess those are quite enjoyable
i don't i don't really watch a lot of holiday films but um but those two comedies are great
um now david you know we know you're quite vocal about when you like things and when you don't like
things um but what is what is the worst gift that someone has ever got you for Christmas?
Oh, boy.
I honestly don't remember.
I don't believe you.
No, really, I don't.
Really?
Well, how about I can say, although my parents will probably listen to this at one point,
for Hanukkah, growing up, my parents were great about, you know, every night we got
to pick one of the eight presents that were already wrapped. They were in a pile right in
the living room. And you could see by the shape of the present which one was maybe the one you
were really, really hoping you would get one. There was always a book, right? And there was always, my parents would always get,
my sister and I separately, a calendar for the next year.
And that was the worst.
That was the worst.
That was like a non-present because you could see right away which one it was.
It was the only large, completely flat, you know, present.
And so there was always a debate between my sister and I, do we get it over? Like,
when do we get the calendar over with? Do we save it for last? Or do we just,
do we just, you know, night three, Hanukkah night three is just a wash because you, okay,
that's good. We're going to open the calendar. That's the calendar night. So I would say that in answer to your question,
I don't really remember getting like the worst Christmas gift, but the worst Hanukkah gift every
year was the calendar. But wouldn't you, wouldn't you request like in the calendar, I can kind of
imagine you having like a Cindy Crawford calendar when you're in your teens or whatever.
Yeah, you think my mom is going to get me the Cindy Crawford or Farrah Fawcett calendar?
No, we get like the National Parks. Oh, National Parks.
Who is the man that always photographs Yosemite?
Ansel Adams.
Ansel Adams.
Ansel Adams.
Yeah, we often gave those as calendars.
Oh, I love Yosemite.
I love. I grew up going to Yosemite
all the time
camping with my family
and hiking
best place on earth
I took Cleo there
two years ago
it was just amazing
is that a good age
to do it
because I've now got
three
since I've seen you last
I've had another baby
oh congrats
so I have
thank you
I have three
and the idea of them
doing the romantic old
you know
trip
no they'd love it, darling.
It would be hell on earth,
and my little one would probably, like, square up to a bear
and, like, think that he was going to win or something.
Like, they're really not there yet.
Yeah, I don't know if I'd advise it at this, at such a young age,
but I think, yeah, nine or older, or even eight, eight would be fun.
And speaking of a bear, like like we had a bear come into our
tent at one point it was really scary because at that time they had these um they were kind of
like cement slabs you could reserve a cement slab with two bunk beds frames you brought your
sleeping bag and pillow so you would use these bunk bed frames and they were covered by a canvas tent. And right outside that you had kind of a rudimentary
cooking area where you could build a fire in there and a kind of a makeshift stove.
And you were advised to keep all your food at all times in the trunk of your car. But one time, one of my parents left the can of hot cocoa powder out.
And sure enough, in the middle of the night, this huge grizzly came into our cooking area,
ripped the can of chocolate powder know, chocolate powder apart,
devoured that and was literally two feet away from all of us
on the other side of this, you know, tent flap
that was tied together by hand.
What do you do in that situation?
Well, he thought he'd had his start, as I should imagine.
Yeah, right.
He's going for the main course.
I think, luckily, another camper nearby had heard,
and they start loudly banging pots and pans together to scare the bear off.
And then eventually the bear went away, and we're all just, you know,
huddled together, like really terrified.
My dad goes outside and grabs pots and pans and starts joining
making as much noise as possible to get the bear to go away and then the next morning in the light
of day you could see these giant and i mean giant paw prints and claw marks on the trunk of our car
where the bear had tried to get into the food in the back of the car as well
i'm sorry that is a that is any good enough reason for no jew to go camping i'm sorry i'm sorry jews
don't see camping we think that is confirmed no we we had a great time when we went up every year
and didn't deter us i would highly advise taking your kids honestly Honestly, apart from that one incident in 10, 15 years,
it's one of the most incredible places to go, I think, on Earth.
Just don't bring chocolate milk. Fine.
Lastly, before we let you go, David, what's better,
the American Thanksgiving or British Christmas dinner?
Which one's the better meal?
Well, I have to say, honestly, I would say Thanksgiving because of my own,
my own memories and my mom's cooking and my sister happens to make the most amazing apple pie.
And usually every year we make apple pie and pumpkin pie. So I would say,
because, you know, I happen to be partial to Thanksgiving at home.
What are you working on at the moment?
Well, I just finished some toast with fresh peanut butter and blueberries.
So I'll be eating that right after this call.
Yeah. Is that what you meant? What am I working on?
I'm very interested in what you're eating,
but are you working as well at the minute?
Yeah, actually, I just finished a little independent film
in Los Angeles called Little Death.
And Nick and I are shooting another,
a kind of intelligence special in a couple of weeks.
I'll be in London again in the middle of January
for a few weeks shooting this special with Nick for Sky.
Then we should cook for you, David.
We can cook for you.
I would love that.
Yeah, come.
Yeah, invite me less.
We'd love you to come.
There will be no banana bread, I promise.
No banana bread.
Well, on the contrary,
I think we should make banana bread this time.
I'm happy to cook, by the way.
I'm happy to... He doesn't trust us.
Darling, I still don't think he believes that we can cook
and that we ever have a podcast about food.
We are going to have to invite him for lunch.
Absolutely.
Now, of course, we had to invite back the king of Christmas,
Michael Bublé, to this special,
even though he didn't think I was a singer.
I mean, he still was complimentary, so you're forgiven.
Yeah, he thought you had quite a good voice.
I'm not bad.
Here he is telling us what his favourite Christmas song is.
I think my favourite Christmas song is I'll Be Home For Christmas.
You know why?
It's because it was written in a time of war
when, I mean, the stakes couldn't be higher.
It was incredibly emotional and scary and serious
and moms didn't know if they would see sons again
and wives didn't know if they'd see husbands.
And I think that song had such deep
and resonant meaning for people.
And what's funny is we've just gone through a war ourselves.
And I think that songs like that are as important and as meaningful
and as impactful as they've ever been.
It's the reason why we're still, I mean, they're beautiful.
They're beautiful songs.
They're well-crafted songs.
And by the way, to go back one last time,
thank you to all the Jews who wrote them,
because I don't think there's one that is written by someone who isn't Jewish.
They're all written.
Go and look.
They are literally, every single one of them is written by a Jewish person.
There's nothing.
There's not one.
I want to say thanks to your grandpa, who clearly was the pre-Kruna Kruna who got you
into all of this music.
So, Hon, do you believe Dean Martin's better than Frank Sinatra, or is that your granddad?
I know Frank had that voice,
but I just think as human beings go,
I think I just, I think Dino looked like a very sweet,
you know, a really gentle, funny, kind guy.
And I know that just wasn't, that's not,
I don't think that was Frank's thing.
Frank was the, you know, the Don,
the chairman of the board.
A gangster, yeah.
Yeah, and so for me, I just, I always thought that
He liked the nice guy.
there was something just so cool, effortlessly cool.
Dino had the voice and Frank had the phrasing.
He was perfect.
I mean, it wasn't the most beautiful voice, but it was perfect phrasing. You mean Frank or Dean? Frank had the phrasing. He was perfect. It wasn't the most beautiful voice, but it was
perfect phrasing. You mean Frank
or Dean? Frank had the phrasing.
Frank had the phrasing because he sang on his vowels.
Frank, everything
Frank did. What's a big Frank song? Say Fly Me
to the Moon. There's a big Frank song. Everything was
on the vowels. It was
Fly me to the moon.
Everything on the vowels.
And let me play among everything was on the vowels. And let me play among, everything was on the vowels.
And Dino was, when the moon hits your eye like a big, big, big.
He had that.
Yeah, exactly.
I loved it.
I loved it all.
I loved them all.
Michael, I love your voice.
I love your voice.
I just want you to stay all night and sing.
Are there any Buble Christmas traditions that we must all start doing?
God, I love it so much with my kids that I, oh my God, there's so many things.
Are you a Christmas Eve or a Christmas Day?
You know what I love?
I'll tell you what a Christmas tradition is.
And it's more about my mom because my mom is crazy about it.
And that's because we're so many kids.
My sisters all have their kids and there's kids everywhere.
And Christmas night, there's always a dance party.
And it's like the Christmas music goes on and all the kids and the adults and everybody.
It's a full onon we do a dance
party adults are pretty shittered by that time but the kids it's the best thing ever it really is and
that's something that and it's fun because my mom my mom will get impatient and my mom my grandma
you know and she'll say like is it time for the dance party yet and we'll go yeah but mom let's
let's eat first i know but the dance party is it's coming right and i go yes mom the dance party yet? And we'll go, yeah, but mum, let's eat first. I know, but the dance party, it's coming, right?
And I go, yes, mum, the dance party's coming.
And she says, okay, as long as we don't miss the dance party.
And I go, fuck, mum, we will do the dance party.
I promise.
Mum, should we have a dance party
at the end of Christmas Day like the Buble's?
Oh, I should be at the entertainment.
Oh my God, mum, you'll be on the stage
doing Felice Navidad.
Oh my God, it'll be like rocking around doing felice navidad um oh my god it'll
be like rocking around the christmas tree mean girls you're doing great sweetie it must be kind
of spanish speaking because it's um yeah so maybe we will have felice navidad stop just stop oh the
doorbell's gone maybe it's santa um have a lovely christmas everyone um take care enjoy your time
to relax and um and get ready for more
table manners in the new year happy new year wishing you all a very happy Christmas hope you
have lots of fun don't eat too much well do eat a lot and just enjoy the day Bye.