Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S14 Ep 3: John Torode
Episode Date: October 12, 2022What do you cook for a Masterchef judge?!? That is the question. This week we are joined by mum’s favourite, John Torode. And it’s about time. After a LOT of back and forth on the menu, mum s...ettled on some staples; her infamous chicken soup followed by Lebanese lamb then a damson galette and olive oil ice cream. It was very gorgeous.This is a foodie episode, where we talk about John’s favourite chefs, the dish he was most proud of making, his wife’s sausage and sourdough bake and his secret tip for making cheese toasties extra crispy (I can confirm it works). This year, he was made an MBE & is celebrating 40 years of professional cooking, what an amazing achievement. What a total honour it was to cook for and host this wonderful man, who showered us in cheese, cider, chocolate and flowers. Such a great evening. Listen now. X Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello and welcome to Table Manners.
Darling, I don't think I've ever been more nervous in my life.
Well, you've said that before. Come on.
It's a big challenge, darling.
He's a nice guy.
He might be nice, but he judges food.
He judges your favourite cooking programme.
And it is my favourite cooking programme on earth.
You've never missed an episode.
He's a very nice man.
Is he?
Very nice.
In fact, we probably won't bring this up in the episode because it may embarrass him,
but when I was a judge on MasterChef, I was nine weeks postpartum,
and the only thing I said yes to doing for work was MasterChef because it was an honour.
And I was on MasterChef Professionals, and the day was going a bit longer than one had told me it would go.
And so my boobs started leaking with my red dress.
Jessica, I don't think people need to know this.
And John Turow was the only person that said, get her a serviette, get her a napkin.
What a guy.
Darling, do you really want to know?
Well, I don't know. It's a story about John Turow.
Do you really want to know about lactation?
Well, I just wanted to show that he's a very nice bloke.
Oh, and I had chicken in my teeth and he was the only bugger that told me I had chicken in my teeth.
I'd rather hear about the chicken in your teeth and lactation.
Well, you know, I'd call that a good guy.
John Turow, he used to live around the corner, I think.
Where does he live now?
Yeah, he moved.
I don't know, but you love his partner's recipes, don't you?
I like his partner's recipes, but I have to be honest, I've been anxious about cooking. Why? Well because he's a judge so I've tried to push the boat out but having some of the
staple dishes that I know I can cook. I do think some of them have been a success but I do worry
about my olive oil ice cream Jessie. Well I used olive oil that was harvested on james and rose's
new land they're from their olives they press the olive oil themselves james and rose they're
friends from scopalos right okay and they got 70 liters crushed with their own bare feet well
no they went to the olive oil factory and it's absolutely the most delicious olive oil so i
thought i'd make olive oil ice cream gorgeous
right so i thought i'll push the boat out and got my burford browns which we love which we love
with that very orange yolk i think i'd have done better with a paler yolk to be perfectly frank
i now have neon orange olive oil ice cream well it's unique it's your usp orange olive oil ice
cream looks like orangeade darling does it taste orange olive oil ice cream it looks like orangeade darling does
it taste like olive oil ice cream yeah but i think when you look you're testing bloom and
do you think when you look at something it needs to suggest what you think is going to go in your
mouth you know what about the fruit meat pie thing that heston does do you know what i mean
yeah meat fruit fruit meat yeah maybe anyway i've made some chicken soup i love this can we just that Heston does. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Meat fruit. Fruit meat. Yeah, maybe.
Anyway, I've made some chicken soup.
I love this.
Can we just... I've kind of done it casually.
We're pretending that mum just has it in the fridge because...
No, I didn't.
I'm going to say I made it today for your children.
Lies.
If you listen to this podcast,
you'll know that when we have a critic or a chef on well someone i want
to impress mom wants to pull out all the stops and she delivers the chicken soup which a lot of you
have now tasted if you've come on the live tour but mom doesn't want it to look like she's tried
too hard so she's trying to say like i made it for jesse children um i did but i did buy some
more little cartons in case he wanted to take some home
my god you're so pushy so we're weirdly having chicken soup and matzo balls followed by
Lebanese lamb oh yeah oh have you heard that one listeners before who did you do that for last
I don't know the last one I did it for that's another one that you just didn't want you didn't
want any stress did you it has It has been stressful. Has it?
Yeah, a little bit.
My galette.
Okay, so your galette is from the damsons in my garden,
which fall from my grumpy neighbour's garden.
And we seem to get all of the damsons,
which, you know, is great.
But I'm telling you, I'm going to make like a gin distillery,
dams and gin distillery.
Oh, that'd be great.
Because I have so many damsons.
Well, we've now got damson galette.
So we've done a damson galette.
To go with the olive oil ice cream.
What are we serving the lamb with?
We're doing a warm aubergine and spinach salad with sun-dried tomatoes and tahini and pine nuts, which is delicious.
And you're doing some carrots well i just thought maybe we didn't
have like a tang because sorry look listen it's gorgeous the warm salad i love it jesse and the
sun's right but maybe john tarot would be like you've over complicated this you didn't need it
and i will accept that critique but i wanted something to cut through. And so I've done ribbon carrot salad.
And the dressing is olive oil, red wine vinegar, orange blossom, cardamom, cumin, honey.
And you do that and you dress it with some fresh mint, crumbled feta and pistachios.
So I just thought that was going to be quite nice.
And like, kicks through.
Should I go and... Sorry if I bored you.
A little.
Shall I go and get the spinach on?
Would you want to announce
who we're having?
Because I've kind of...
Oh!
We're having
the fabulous
master chef
genius
that is
John Turode.
I'm John, hello. Hi John. Hello.
Hi, John.
How are you?
I'm very well.
Oh, God, you've come with a lot of gifts.
Is that why you were late, John?
I'm very pleased to meet you.
I was late because the traffic's horrendous.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, wow. Thank you so much.
Thank you for coming.
Please come and sit down.
Thank you.
Do you want a drink?
No, I just want to look at you.
How are you?
We've got white wine.
We've got Whispering Angel, which Jessie says is very naff, but I love it.
It's a bit naff, isn't it?
I love it.
It's a bit naff.
We've got some champagne.
I'll drink some water.
I'll be bringing it.
And then whatever you're drinking.
Do you want fizzy or stale water?
Anything.
As long as it runs.
I don't mind. Yeah. You look look great oh god thank you yeah last time i saw you i was very tired
also the other thing last time you saw me you were lactating oh mate oh i know i know i said it i
said and i was like mate yeah i it was very kind well that's why i don't know i've been working
overtime well you people are late my boobs told everybody that I was working overtime. I'm really sorry, you've got to go.
You must have been the only time you lacked it.
I know.
She could breastfeed.
I know, that's the bugger.
I've struggled to breastfeed so much, but yet on the time in your bloody judging dishes
on MasterChef, you have leaky boobs.
It was just so sods long.
It's the excitement, isn't it?
Does anybody fancy a glass of champagne?
I think you do, and I will join you, Mum.
Obviously.
Look, I'm never going to say no.
Thank you very much. So how... Fucking strong. Does anybody fancy a glass of champagne? I think you do and I will join you
I'm never going to say no
Thank you very much
Oh well listen
You know
It's tough
When we had Jay Rayner on
He kind of gave us an email
Being like please don't go to too much effort
Because people can really freak out when they cook for me
Because he's a food critic You're obviously a chef and obviously you're a very renowned
master chef critic um judge you know but do you find that people stress out when they're cooking
for you i think people yeah i think sometimes people do and i i try to say to people i remember
going to a friend's house and they said do you want cheese
or do you not want cheese with a burger
and I was such a relief
this sort of thing of going
because it was cool
there was some salad on the table
and I liked that
but my friends who I have dinner with
all the time, never worry
because why would they
I mean you go to people's houses
because you love them
you don't go there
because it's
also it's probably
quite nice to not be
cooking but then
actually do you ever
cook now John
yeah I cook
I cook all the time
do you
you're not fatigued
by an exhausted
how can you be
fatigued by cooking
so are you inspired
by when you
when you're judging
MasterChef
straight in
but when you're
judging MasterChef do you go right
I'm doing that when I get home for me and Lisa
there are certain things that I will always walk away
from with MasterChef and say that is cool
love the idea
I think that's beautiful
it's really
because you're always learning aren't you
there's always something new and I think one of the things
with MasterChef is that the amount of cultures that we have now coming on.
Yeah, yeah.
And what we've seen is an amazing emergence of where there's people who have kept their home lives and their home life and their culture and the food they eat at home very secret.
Almost if they're embarrassed about it.
Yeah.
they eat at home very secret almost if they're embarrassed about it and now they're coming out and they're showing everybody this amazing food and where they shop and all these incredible
things so suddenly things like subsea which is iranian and stuff like that which is like wow and
that's what i thought some enjoy because the world's such an extraordinary massive joint
isn't it how how many years have you been judging?
17.
I mean, it's got to be the best gig on telly.
I have the best job.
I think you do.
I think it's amazing.
But I've just had my birthday,
and that means that I have just celebrated 40 years of professional cooking.
Congratulations.
Well, cheers to that.
Yeah, and you got a big gong this year, didn't you?
We did, yeah.
No, you did, personally.
Or was it both of you?
We both got one.
Yeah.
Was it an MBE?
MBE.
I know.
Can you imagine?
For your services?
Well, apparently, yeah.
But, I mean, there was some sort of big hoo-ha,
because I haven't had a British passport.
I got one now.
It doesn't matter.
They'll probably promote you to the House of Lords.
You don't need a British passport to get there.
We won't talk about politics, shall we?
Let's just leave that somewhere else completely.
But yeah, thank you. Yeah, MBE was a bit of a surprise and actually Greg had rung me and said,
ah, g'day mate, we've got MBEs.
I went, don't be ridiculous.
Did you think he was just trying to do one of his dad jokes?
Yeah, just, what are you talking about? He said, you've not
got the email? No, I don't know what you're talking about.
Why didn't you get the email?
Because somehow or another
it had gone through somewhere else
and somehow they had to question
whether I did have a British passport
or not.
So apparently you can get an OBE
if you don't have a British passport,
but an MBE,
you've got to have a British passport.
Okay,
so where did you eat
after you got your award?
I haven't had the investiture yet.
Oh,
is it Windsor,
the Buckingham Palace?
Don't know Palace don't know
don't know who it's
going to be
the only thing I've got
which I was very
very excited about
the only thing I've got
which actually makes it
formal besides it was
in the paper
was on the Saturday
morning
which was
something like the
third
I got a
a little
bing at the door
and a letter came
from Buckingham Palace
which was great
but inside it was a lovely card from Highingham Palace which was great but inside it
was a lovely card
from Highgrove Estate
and it was a little
personal note
from Camilla
just saying
congratulations
I met her a couple of times
I know her son
Tom Parker Bowles
of course
and so I got this
really lovely personal note
which was just like
that's really nice
that's a nice touch
yeah
almost as nice as champagne
I'm really sorry
I was late
okay you were like
five minutes late I was nine minutes late I champagne. I'm really sorry I was late. Okay, you were like five minutes late.
Yeah.
I was nine minutes late.
I love this.
I don't know.
Sarah was like,
we've had this email from John's team
saying he is so sorry.
He is going to be five to ten minutes late
and he is so upset
and he's been in the car since 5.45
and she said,
has he seen you rinse people that are late?
Like, I went for Mel B.
Scary spice. Yeah. She arrived an hour and a half late and we'd done a roast. You have absolutely, has he seen you rinse people that are late? Like, I mean, I went for Mel B. No, the only one was Scary Spice.
Yeah.
She arrived an hour and a half late,
and we'd done a roast.
You have absolutely stretched that.
It was, I think it was 65 minutes.
It was over an hour, Jessie.
Anyway.
Okay.
Anyway, I thought, no, you just,
you don't like being late.
I don't like being late.
I don't like having people's contact number,
and somehow or another, the team,
were just sort of so secretive about everything,
so I couldn't even
ring you and go look I'm really sorry I'm left on the corner well we'll give you your numbers
we'll give your numbers to you absolutely but that's um do you think your timekeeping is because
of being in the kitchen and being under pressure and having to you know deliver those services
yeah I think that and also I think it's just respect yeah you know if you've got to do something and especially when people are talking about cooking and you know you're a guest
be on time you know i think it's really important and i think you should because
you know there's nothing worse than sort of hanging around waiting come on because that
makes everybody just a little bit edgy doesn't it can i can i ask you because i had a barbecue
at the weekend and i said for people to come at three and we were doing this big spit roast thing we were kind of trying to do a gyros and my husband
and I we've got this brilliant bit of tech it's this Somerset grill barbecue and it's got a
rotisserie on it yeah so we're like right we're gonna have half of it lamb half of it pork shoulder
it's gonna go for you know three four hours it's gonna actually actually was quite disappointing in the end but the lamb worked better than the pork anyway i said come at three so i had the food ready for us to eat
at like quarter past 3 30 i know and then people are like rocking up at like 3 40 and i'm like no
no i said to come at three i mean three when. When I say three, come at three. What do you think? When you invite people over for dinner, what's the etiquette that you go by?
Well, I think I'll always give them about 10 minutes leeway.
10 minutes.
Okay, fine.
Fine.
But I think if you say to somebody, I'm cooking dinner, be there at three.
I think 3.30, rocking up 3.30, 3.45, it's a bit much.
You think?
I don't.
Even if it's relaxed barbecue.
Because I was like, no, I've got a system.
Maybe it's now that you've got to reword it
and sort of go, food's at three.
Food is on the table.
You're so to the minute, though.
Yeah.
Because usually you want to go to bed.
Yes, I do.
There's your brother.
I like to go to sleep.
My brother's about to start a night shift.
Right. Are you going to come
and say hi to John Turek
Alex
hi Alex
he's going to
be a doctor
oh good man
on your bike
on his bike
you got to go far
no
not far
just Waterloo
you've just got to say yes
a really long way
in all the time
travel miles
to say bye
alright Alan
where's your helmet
darling just round the back ok good see ya bye darling bye In all time. Travel miles to say bye. All right, Al. Where's your helmet, darling?
Okay, good.
See you.
Bye, darling.
Bye.
I love that.
You're going to check, where's his helmet?
He used not to wear it, and now he does all the time, which is good.
And then he's moving out.
So, yeah, he's moving near to me, which is great for babysitting.
So how's your day been, John?
What's it look like
today? Today's been a good day actually I've had a nice day. I have um I rode my bike into this
morning which is in White City and I did a little dish for this morning did some baked eggs with
some cheese toasties. What was in your cheese toasty to make it? Just two different types of
cheese gruyere cheese and cheddar cheese.
And then on inside, mustard and tomato ketchup.
And on the outside, before you put it in the fry pan,
because you fry pan the cheese toastie, you put mayonnaise.
Mayonnaise makes the bread go crispy.
Oh, and I thought butter did the same.
It can do the same, but actually mayonnaise, it doesn't go sort of like that,
but mayonnaise makes it go prosperly crispy on the outside
to get it crispy, crispy outside.
Where did you find that out?
One of my home ec team,
who when we were doing John and Lisa's weekend kitchen,
told us about it.
They said, if you put mayonnaise on the outside of a toasted sandwich.
See, so I did use it.
And literally, it was only a few weeks ago,
and I've got to use it.
I love that.
But I will always credit them.
Alex, thanks very much indeed, mate.
It was brilliant.
I love you.
Oh, yeah.
Your Lisa has changed my life. Her pavlova, changed my life. Her pavlova recipe from her mother.
She's so jealous about tonight. I said come along. She should have come. I said the same. I said come along. She went no I can't do that.
Oh my god she should have come. She should have come with pleasure. That's what I said. I said come along. I'm sure they'll really be happy.
And if they don't like you, you can sit in the garden. Very good. She could have come.
Should I get the soup on, Mum?
It's on.
Oh, it's on.
Okay.
Should we tell John what we're having?
Can I just tell you something?
The kitchen smells amazing.
Does it?
Absolutely amazing.
I've been trying to tidy up because I know you like it.
I am a complete MasterChef addict, so I've never missed an episode.
I love everyone.
And I said, Jesse, he hates an untidy kitchen and tidy area so i've
been trying to tidy up it's funny it's about the difference between home and and work environment
like that you know and i i you know i with lisa we when we work together yeah i always wipe down
i always clean up the dishes i do what i do but you know what's your home that's completely
different from actually well i think it's very different from being professional kitchen the problem with professional
kitchen is you're feeding other people who are usually paying for it yeah and so therefore you've
got to keep it tidy well yeah i agree it's also i think the more chaotic the people are on master
chef the more chaotic their food they don't finish on time they're not as well organized maybe that's
in the edit mum no i don't know i think that they're not as well organised. Maybe that's in the edit, Mum.
No, I don't know.
No, I think that's true.
I think it is true about cooking.
What's really interesting, I think, about it,
is that we've been doing this, you know, with MasterChef,
we've been doing this where we get the dish served to us
and the person comes and gives it to us.
And you can tell by just looking at the plate,
A, if they've had a bit of a fluster,
or if they are chaotic, if they're really neat.
And every so often you're saying, accountant.
Because they're really reordered.
And it's really fascinating.
I think you can tell somebody's personality, I think, by food.
Right.
Can I just tell you something?
Because I was going to kind of do it very casually.
But one of the best things I...
Let's tell the truth, Mum.
One of the best things I cook is my chicken soup with matzo balls.
So it doesn't really go with this dinner,
but I decided I'd make you some anyway.
She only does it for the best.
So you need to have a go with it.
I'm really excited.
Good.
And, you know, it will be a small portion.
And I've brought some little cartons so you can take Lisa
with some chicken soup and matzo balls home. She'll be very excited. Good,. Some chicken soup and that's the ball's home.
She'll be very excited.
Good, good, good.
So that's what we're having as a starter.
But she was going to pretend that she just made it for the kids.
And, oh, would you like to try some?
But no, you need to because you're the, you know, you're top dog.
And this is something you grew up with?
Yeah, it's something I grew up.
And she, it's really good.
Actually, I haven't tasted this.
Oh, shit.
You seem better to taste it before we did the survey.
Oh, no, now I'm stressed.
It's fine.
I mean, hello.
How many times do you think you've made it?
I can do it without...
Oh, how many times?
Sometimes your seasoning is different.
But you can smell it, can't you?
You can smell it now, can't you?
But you can smell it.
You'll know what's right and what's wrong
by the smell of it.
Yeah.
And I love that.
Because I still think,
and I'm going to say something really controversial here,
I think that women cook very, very differently from men,
and their food usually tastes a lot better.
That's interesting.
There's something very loving and maternal about a mother's food.
Yeah, I think this is true.
And everybody will always return to their home,
because that's where the best food was.
And I'm gonna say something probably
that's gonna get in trouble too,
but I think that, and I don't,
and I'm making a total generalization
and I'm speaking to somebody who is a chef,
who's a male chef, but my, I mean, I'm really haphazard.
That's just what I'm like when I cook.
But I actually think my husband's far more methodical
and I feel like men sometimes are a bit more methodical.
Is that right?
I think men are more confident.
Yeah, there's a kind of cockiness about men when they cook.
Peacock.
That it's going to be good.
I mean, we're speaking to you and you are very good.
Do you think Lisa's better than you?
I think Lisa's food is completely different from what I cook and I've
learned a huge amount from that but I mean you know I grew up without a mother so when I've
always cooked and my father's always cooked it's always had that same sort of thing it's feeding a
family and I've always fed a family that's what I do I feed a family. How many of you were there
in your family? Myself my two brothers and my dad. When did your mum pass away? When I was four. Oh, John, that's awful. Yes, but it is. But people say, oh, you know,
we don't know any difference. No. Did he remarry? He did. Yeah, he did remarry. And that was
slightly dramatic because my brother was 16 at that time. I love that you're wincing
that you knew that was going to happen. Yeah. It wasn't going to work. But then, yeah, my father's such a good cook, an amazing cook.
But, I mean, there is something extraordinary about food
that I think that comes from the home.
And my grandmother, my nana, taught me to cook originally when I was very young.
And I can still taste her food.
I can still smell the food.
I can still, and just the tiniest things.
It would be a grilled lamb chop, just the way she did it there was just something about it and it's very
hard so you were born in australia born in australia yeah where i was born in sydney yeah
then we moved down to melbourne when i was quite young which where everyone says is the best food
very good food now yeah it was but 1970s we're talking about i mean it wasn't great no i think
we probably had you know lots of tins of things yeah um and my nana when we moved with my nana in the 19 early
1970s and my my nana and when in her kitchen probably never ever saw a pack of pasta would
have never probably opened a tin of tomatoes everything she had was you know it was just
you know it was meat and two veg and it was
stuff from the local bakery or whatever it might be um what have we got i mean it smells
a lebanese lamb which you cook only for 40 minutes wow back to your childhood so you lost your mum at
four and then your dad was a great cook when do you remember one of i mean and you say your nana
taught you how to cook was there a really memorable dish that you remember learning or
tasting from your childhood yeah well see the thing is but when my dad when my i my mum died
i was four my next brother was five and my older brother was seven and so in those days there was
no such thing as support for a single father so So a widower, there was no support at all.
So we actually packed up our stuff from Melbourne and went back up to New South Wales and lived with my grandmother for about five years or four or five years.
And so...
Was that his mum?
No, my mum's mum.
Oh, okay.
In a little place called Maitland, sort of middle of rural Australia.
And my nana cooked really well
so from the age of probably six
I was cooking with her
and I loved her
I used to sit with her
and I'd stand with her on a stool
and cook with her
we had a combustion stove
so you had to load the stove
with oh my goodness me
you're trying to get me a bit tipsy
that's what we liked to do
we had a combustion stove
so my nana would go down
and cut the wood, firewood
until my brother
was a little bit older
and then he'd do it
in the morning
that's how we got hot water
and had our stove
without that
we didn't have hot water
on the stove
and
but my nana first
taught me to cook
a roast chicken
how to make gravy
and how to roast the chicken
and
do you still
do your gravy
like your nana
exactly the same way
don't tell us
exactly the same way
what do
you do so the roasting tray has the chicken in it and it has usually has some onions in it which
have been roasted up with the chicken on top of it chicken always has water inside it with salt
and pepper never season the outside because it doesn't work and then um hold on never season
the outside of the chicken only only a little bit because the skin yeah doesn't season the meat
the seasoning comes from the inside.
So you always season inside?
Inside.
I've never done that.
Have you ever done that?
Inside.
Mum, have you ever done that?
I've done it with seasoning on butter and put it under the skin, but not normally.
So if you look at the Chinese, right, where they put a duck, they roast a duck,
they always put the stuff on the inside.
And if you put lemon and garlic and parsley and stuff inside a chicken yeah and a half glass of wine and seal it all up or the lovely lisa does
one which you've probably seen which is with creme fraiche yeah she puts creme fraiche and lemon
inside it and then the seasoning goes inside the chicken and it makes it really moist moist
everything else so that's what my okay yeah i bung a i bung a load of stuff and inside but i've never
done kind of this you You salt it inside too.
Okay.
Thank you, John.
Okay.
For your first tip.
And so she taught me that.
And then you take the roasting tray.
There's usually just a little bit of fat and then not very much in there.
You put it on the stove, bring it to the boil.
Add to it a couple of tablespoons or a tablespoon of flour.
Sprinkle across the top.
Let it bubble up.
When it bubbles up enough, then you start to stir it and it's got to go slightly brown and then you go right in the corners as much as you possibly can the corners
but take it off the heat a little bit and then it's water no stock nothing else not vegetable
water just any well if there's some around maybe but just water no i would do you put vegetable
water in yeah but it's my nana yeah i mean she would probably keep that she always had a dripping
water yeah well anything that was left over i mean it was you know it was probably beans usually I always put them vegetables. Yeah, I mean, she would probably keep that. She always had a dripping. The cabbage water.
Yeah, anything that was left over.
I mean, it was probably beans, usually.
Is your background... You must have come from somewhere if you ended up in Australia.
So where is your father from or your mother from?
My grandparents were some of the Irish.
And then my grandfather came from Guernsey.
Oh, wow.
And I've got an amazing picture on my wall, actually,
when he was nine years old of the lighthouse at St.
Michael's Mount, which he sketched when he was nine years old
before he left and went to Australia.
Is Thoreau a French name then?
Thoreau is apparently.
Well, apparently it's, this is my story.
It's apparently comes from Thor's rod.
Yeah, it's in God of Thunder.
But what his rod, the one he holds, he holds, that's what I'm talking about.
So his torode is in his hand.
That's it, yeah.
Okay.
Better tell your son that.
Okay.
I'll let him know.
I was with a relative of Thor.
Yeah.
Okay, great.
He's a good-looking Australian, isn't he, Thor?
He is.
Very good.
Oh, God, yes.
So what was the kind of first dish that you felt really proud of making when you were younger?
I remember going into secondary school and deciding that they were going to do this thing.
And they wanted me to make something.
And we decided to make falafel.
Now, why, I have no idea.
Why?
No idea at all.
But I remember that by this time, we'd moved back down to Melbourne with my dad.
And what was this, like, 80s, late 70s?
Late 70s, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, late 70s.
Because in Australia, of course, we had lots of those big Greek community,
Italian community, Turkish community.
And, you know, and so we end up with falafel.
And I made falafel.
And I remember making these falafel.
And we made, I think, enough for 100 people
in my first year of secondary school.
I don't know why I did that.
And I was really proud of that.
And we bought pita bread in,
and we bought in some tahini and various things,
and it was just great.
I often wonder, if you're a good cook,
I mean, I don't mind cooking,
but I don't know how I could cook for hundreds of people.
And you do in your restaurant now. Well, now I don't have a restaurant, don't know how I could cook for hundreds of people and you're doing your restaurant now. Well now I don't
have a restaurant which I'm really pleased about. Don't you?
You had, was it Smith's? Smith's yeah.
And I loved it. We all loved it.
Do you know what, the amount of babies
that came out of that restaurant
which I think is always a really good sign.
So you don't have one at all now? No.
That's why I'm saying.
Was it so stressful having a shop?
Oh, you know, look, you consider the last couple of years.
Now it would be worse.
Anybody who's in the industry, whoever's done the last couple of years,
congratulations to all of you because it's amazing what you've done.
It's tough.
It's tough.
There's no two ways about it.
Exhausting.
But so rewarding, you know, watching people and just, you know,
the different clients and stuff.
And years later, like you say, you loved it. And, you know, people and just you know the different clients and stuff and years later like you're saying you loved it and you know we had different environments and i really wanted the
sort of power of australians egalitarian thought to go into smiths and so there was the greasy
spoon downstairs and turned to a bar and djs there was cocktail bars it was great food and there was
oysters and steaks and there was dining rooms and burgers and you'd come in a pair of shorts and a
pair of flip flops
like I call thongs
if you wanted to
you know
do what you want
you could dress up
now you don't have
any competition
because you're not in it
who's your favourite chef
where would you go
for a celebration
I was
I actually got
to give Ruthie Rogers
a hug last night
oh you went to
River Cafe
yeah and she came last night.
And I haven't seen her for quite a while.
And God bless her poor husband's soul.
It's just awful.
But she is, her and Rose, Rose, my warmest back cry.
Rose was such an inspiration to me.
I love her.
I mean, loved her.
And when I first met her, which was 1995 they came in for dinner
the next day they sent me the biggest bunch of
flowers I'd ever seen in my life
I mean just such lovely
wonderful people
but their food, it's simplicity
and delicious
yeah and there's just something about
that love that goes with it and you know Rose
would run across to
Italy for the first lot of olive oil
and bring back suitcases with her.
And Francesca, who delivered the mozzarella,
was doing my mozzarella.
Greg, my lovely Greg Wallace,
was supplying the fruit and veg and the pale aubergines
to the River Cafe when we were doing stuff.
So there was a sort of amazing time
that was going on in the 90s.
And I loved it.
I mean, I was involved in this world
I could run away from Australia because I didn't drink beer I didn't really fit in I didn't play
rugby so I didn't really fit in you know and I found a place that I loved and I grew up in and
I changed and I became part of a family I suppose and so seeing you know Ruthie last night was just
a really extraordinary thing and just everything they do
and they touch is real
it's there for a reason
and if it's a piece of mozzarella and they slice it
and they put olive oil over the top of it
it's beautiful mozzarella with beautiful
olive oil and it's there for a reason
it's not frivolous
and it's not peacockish
I love hearing you talk
We haven't overdone it I feel like maybe we've peacockish. Oh, God. I love hearing you talk. And we haven't overdone it.
What?
I feel like maybe we've peacocked a bit.
We've peacocked a bit.
Well, actually, no, it's pretty simple.
I think you've showed off a bit, Jess.
What are you talking about?
With your carrot.
Mum, I've done a carrot salad.
I just thought you needed a bit of a cut and tang.
Yeah.
That's all I'm saying.
I'm looking at the soup here, which is as clear.
As a cons.
As a consomé.
Yeah.
And all these people, they haven't made a consomé. Well, can I say, come around here and you get yourself something which is absolutely clear as a cons as a consummate and all these people who haven't made a consummate
well
can I say
come around here
and you get yourself
something which is
absolutely bloody amazing
she just puts a bit
of paper towel
on the top
shoves it
don't you mum
you did skim it
you did your skim it
what do you think
what do I think
I think I've just
gone to heaven
it's
do we believe
do we believe in heaven
yeah
absolutely
Jamie said
they were the best matzo balls he's ever eaten.
That's what I just wanted to tell you about.
Your matzo balls are beautiful, Mum.
Thank you so much.
It is clear, as clear as clear.
And the matzo balls are fantastic.
They are.
They're light.
Mum, if you went on MasterChef like celebrities...
I couldn't.
I would not be able to do it.
Really?
I don't have enough recipes.
I couldn't make up recipes.
Like, I think... You have loads of recipes, I do think the guy that won last year
was absolutely the most worthy winner because he was so amazing.
Eddie.
Eddie.
Pookie was something else, wasn't she?
TV gold.
She was absolutely amazing.
TV gold.
I mean, absolutely incredible.
I mean, have you seen Priscilla, the Queen of the Desert?
That's as far as I'm going.
She was a kind of gay icon,
wasn't she?
Incredible.
And so much fun
and so full of love
and so full of caring.
And clever.
Her food was...
Just to look at it
was like a painting.
It's thought about
in a completely different way.
When she did that invention test
and made goldfish...
Oh, my God.
Not just...
Made goldfish.
Yeah.
Incredible. Absolutely incredible. So, for mains, we've fish, made goldfish. Yeah. Incredible, absolutely incredible.
So for mains we've got mum. Right so I've done this Lebanese lamb. Do you have a ginger pig near you?
No. I love them, they're great. They are very good. Fabulous meat. Thank you. I have a
Hampstead butcher. Oh you've got a Hampstead butcher. You'm not used to live around here i did yeah it's
just around the corner yeah like literally just around the corner there and then just over there
over that way yeah i think i once saw you in coolio's the italian restaurant in bathsea
probably not in bathsea in balance yes probably and i that was a good one i like their calamari
i used to do that yeah and the other one we used to go to all the time was the one in on it on Northcote Road you know the big one. That's like my childhood. Walking there even now and it's
hi John. I love it. It's great isn't it. I love they used to do that primavera pasta and I used
to think. But I like number six. Oh number six a bit more fancy pants, but the Buenos Aires, like, it was always so fab. Oh.
See, I've got an Iranian rice cooker.
That's Tad.
Yeah, well, you know what it is.
Tell the world.
Tadig.
Yeah, how do you say it?
I call it Tadig.
What do you call it?
Tad.
Do you call it Tadli?
I don't know what Tadli is.
Oh, anyway, Tadig.
It is Tadig.
Yeah.
So it's crispy bottom of the rice, which is crispy.
Yeah.
Yay.
What do you want, John?
Do you want red or white?
I'll do whatever you want.
No, you say.
What do you feel like?
She's got everything.
Because you said red first, I think you want red.
Okay, there's red, darling.
Oh, this is...
There you go.
Thank you.
It's good here.
I like it.
So we've got a carrot salad, which is looking very zhuzh, and I believe by the smell of it, it's quite tangy. Well, I like it. So we've got a carrot salad which is looking very zhoosh
and I believe by the smell of it it's quite tangy.
Well, we'll see.
Right, I've got the fluffiest rice in the world. Lovely salad. So the carrot one's there
and then what's the other one?
The carrot one's there and the other one. This is a spinach, aubergine, pine nuts, sun-dried tomatoes, tahini and lime salad.
Kind of warm salad.
Thank you.
No, I'll hold.
Oh, thank you.
I'll play, Mum.
I want to know what your favourite dish is that Lisa makes at the moment.
Okay.
mates at the moment okay when when lisa cooks for me and we it's usually i've had a sort of pretty hard stressful day and i've been eating food which is really posh and it's all over the place yeah
she makes this amazing sausage and sourdough base now this sounds really odd right yeah go on
but she does sausages and onions in this in roasting tin, and then roasts them so
they get sort of all crispy and crunchy on the outside. Then there's stock added to it,
then there's bits of sourdough which are all sort of broken up, and then more stock's added,
and it goes back in the oven. So half the bread's soggy at the bottom, but it's crispy
at the top. But it's not too hard.
It's kind of like a bread and butter, it's like kind of, what is it, like bread and butter?
It's like the best sausage sandwich but hot that you have to eat all at once.
Did she make it up?
She made it up.
Oh it sounds amazing.
With a bit of mustard, honestly, and after a day where I'm...
You're in heaven.
Just so happy.
Yeah.
So happy.
And this, she, amazing cook. I mean anything she does she's amazing do you need
salt anyone no cheers thank you so much for being amazing wow wow cheers so you're less of a sweet
person you love a cheese I actually love a dessert but not as much as Greg Wallace well no I grew up
when I was a sort of
young kid i was told i had bad asthma and that they then took me off milk so i didn't really
have many much dairy products so i didn't really eat cream or ice cream or anything so i never got
that sort of sweet what i call lactose sweet tooth which i think a lot of young kids get
so but i really appreciate a good dessert.
But I don't, no, I don't suck on my spoon
in the same way as the bald one does.
Because he does have a, there is a majesty
in the way in which he sucks on that spoon.
He just gets so excited.
But it's one of the joys, isn't it,
of doing stuff like Mousetrap and John and Lisa.
Are you doing that at the moment as well?
We've just filmed 10 more.
How's it working with your partner?
Your wife?
She's my wife.
Your wife.
How is it?
My wife.
Yeah.
She's gorgeous.
I need to ask about what you ate.
She's the best of the three, I've got to say.
Sean!
Sean!
Well, that's true.
You must like being married.
Well, yeah, it's not cheap though, but anyway.
But, yeah, you're working on your show.
So we just did ten more episodes.
So we go out in September through to October, September, October for the first bit.
Then there's the whole thing to do with sport on ITV.
And then we've got a whole Christmas, New Year thing going on.
Nice.
And Christmas, New Year does really well.
People love it.
It is what it is. And we just bounce off each other and we like each other. And Christmas New Year does really well. People love it. It's, it's,
it is what it is and we just bounce off each other
and we like each other
and she's a good looking girl.
She's gorgeous.
Yeah,
she's gorgeous.
Is she acting as well
at the minute?
She's acting at the moment
but it's all secret
what she's doing.
Okay,
is it exciting?
You can tell us.
I can't tell you.
I'm teasing.
Unless I want to,
I'd love to tell you.
Have another drink, John.
No,
yeah,
yeah.
Let me tell you something.
There's certain things
we just don't talk about. But she, uh yeah she's great I mean and she does so
many different things I need to know about the wedding meal you know this is your third time
having a wedding and a wedding meal so I need to know you know I presume it was the best meal yet
but what did you eat what and how how were there arguments about this meal?
Was it very important or did you kind of go,
you know what?
Well,
no,
because we,
we have this thing that we do with,
with people come around.
If you get invited to the,
the Tarrade Fortner house,
which we,
I would hope that you might accept the invitation.
We're in.
So we do this thing where we roast the chicken,
but we put lots of butter underneath the skin and then we put truffles underneath the skin as well.
And then we roast the chicken with lots and lots of onions and stuff in the tray.
And then what we do then is we take the chicken out and the tray goes to the table as a starter
with bread.
And you just dip it in the bread in the roasting tray and you get all the juices and stuff.
Jess, you've got to be confident to serve that i respect that that's my kind of eating then we just pull the chicken apart usually
serve it on top of something like dauphinoise potatoes and everybody just digs in and does
what they want what sides would you have just dauphinoise potatoes and maybe with a green salad
oh okay lettuce and some blue cheese maybe that's about it and that was our wedding that's what we
did so we had oysters first and then our great great friend of mine now from doing MasterChef a few years
ago Drew Baker who's got tempers here.
Oh Drew Baker.
He's got his charcuterie.
Where's his restaurant?
He doesn't have a restaurant but he makes charcuterie.
He makes an amazing charcuterie.
He was one of the best.
Incredible.
And Tim I thought was great.
Which one was Tim?
American.
Tim's the American who's mad about Japanese.
No he was on my one.
Oh was he on yours? He's mad about Japanese food. Yeah he's a lovely lovely man
lovely lovely man and quite unusual and quite interesting. But yeah so we did that we did
so charcuterie and then we did oysters and we had some phirs and then we had the juice of the truffles
and chicken and Dofus potatoes
and some salads down the middle of the table
and we made everybody serve themselves.
Because there's nothing worse
than going to a function
and getting a plate of food
and you don't want to eat it all.
Because you're not hungry
or you don't want to eat it
or you don't like it.
What's your favourite?
We were trying to work out what your favourite food is and i think i know from master chef
that you quite like food quite spicy food fusion japanese or things like or am i wrong asian food
he nearly shed a tear yesterday at river cafe i think i know you love italian food but you do
like quite like i do but i love thai, but you do like quite, like spiced.
I do,
but I love Thai food
because I arrived in Thailand
and I,
because I didn't,
didn't have milk and dairy
and I didn't have things
like ice cream
and you know,
my brother's loving ice cream
and strawberry topping and stuff.
I never had those,
what I would call bursts of flavour.
I had sort of stuff
which was pretty ordinary
as a kid in Australia.
Was your asthma really that bad?
Not anymore.
I've got my inhaler upstairs.
So why do you get asthma?
So what happened?
I decided I wasn't going to use any medication.
And?
I'm fine.
And are you eating ice cream now?
I eat yogurt.
Lots of yogurt.
Because apparently yogurt,
and Tim Spector, the great man who looks after people's guts.
Oh, your guts.
Yeah, he says that it starts to eat the lactose,
so therefore you don't have the
amount of lactose in yogurt because so i i don't i see maybe that's what you should do that's
interesting because i think i've got a lactose intolerance because i've been doing that fodmap
thing which is a fucking pain in the ass and i think lactose is my issue but i didn't want to
go to greece and not be able to have greek yogurt with a nectarine and honey talk to talk to tim
really i mean, he'll...
Did he...
No, I've read lots of his stuff, but talk to him.
Because I reckon he'll probably help you out.
But I mean, I eat yogurt now with fruit and almonds and stuff all the time.
I think yogurt is fine, Jessie.
Yeah, I think it's...
But milk I can't do.
Yeah, and I'm okay with milk I can live without.
Cheese you don't eat?
Well, apparently you can have hard cheeses,
but just quite small quantities and the other thing he always says is about pasture unpasteurized
as long as living your gut will eat it and that's the thing is so much stuff has not been done
anyway back to thailand because of that when i went to thailand there were these amazing flavors
and there was no dairy and i I could eat anything I wanted.
And it was just...
Exciting.
When it's that hot sometimes on the street,
as far as temperature,
and then there's food that's like that as well,
and you're watching all the locals eating it,
it's not for tourists.
You go and you're eating food that everybody's eating,
because that's what they do.
And when you eat it,
and there's so much chilli in it,
you've got this amazing buzz.
I mean, it was...
Don't drink booze. So when you're in Thailand, you don't really drink booze you just go out and eat you greet
papaya salad and with salty crab and you just walk along the street and go thanks very much
it's great i love that food however you me if i went to france and i had a piece of roast chicken
or i went to france and had a baguette and a tomato,
baguette, butter, tomato, salt on it, thanks for...
I know.
It's something...
I want stuff that just tastes good.
Like your food.
I think that's...
You know, it tastes...
The rice tastes of rice.
It's cooked beautifully.
It's cooked...
The lamb tastes of lamb and it's cooked beautifully
that's all
that's it
thank you John
but that's it
I'm going to cry
but that's all you want
isn't it
but I think
when we go to Greece
peaches taste of peach
and tomatoes
I'm sure they're not
all grown in
no but I think
one of the things
that we forget
and one of the things
I really still love
about Thailand
is they don't have
refrigeration.
Anywhere you go to eat, nothing's ever been refrigerated.
It comes from a farm, it goes to a market.
It goes from a market to a market stall and it's sold.
And a peach that you're talking about in Greece,
or an apricot that you get when you're in somewhere like Menorca or Mallorca,
and it's been in the sunshine, it's never seen a fridge.
And therefore it's not been held back sunshine it's never seen a fridge and therefore
it's not being held back it's like blooming and blossoming and for anybody who actually wants
their strawberries to taste like strawberries put them on a table out in the garden for a day
let the flies have as much fun as they like with it but let the sunshine get it and then go out
there and smell what happens to that that. And the same as a tomato.
Leave your tomatoes in your fruit bowl.
Don't put it in the fridge.
When you walk in the kitchen, leave the truss on them, you'll smell that lovely smell of a tomato.
And I think that's what is...
A baguette in France has never seen a fridge.
It doesn't come out of a plastic bag which has been frozen.
It's some guy who's there and sweated all over it,
which adds to the flavour, guys.
This is a galette that I made with Jessie's damsons.
From my garden.
Yeah.
How many damsons have you got?
Too many.
Too many.
Freeze them, send them along.
No, I've got so many.
But, you know, you have to check that some don't have maggots.
None of these do, because we've checked them. Sorry, so enjoy. Well, they've been cooked anyway. They've have to check that some don't have maggots. None of these do, because we've checked them.
That's right.
Well, they've been cooked anyway.
They've been cooked, but also there's no maggots.
Cooked maggots, good.
But, so yeah, I did a pavlova at the weekend with roasted damsons and hazelnuts,
and that was really nice, but I was like, just take some damsons.
So mum has made damsongalette.
Oh my goodness me, I'm so excited.
Right, so I've made this damsson galette but i the real star should have
been this which looks like it's got a little bit of something there's probably got maggot yeah
maggot from the damson so i've got two lovely friends who live in greece where i go to and they
did their own olive oil so i thought i'd make olive oil ice cream so i thought i'll push the
boat out it's john to road And I got Bertha Brown eggs.
And that's why that's bright.
It's bright orange.
It's gone orange.
It looks like it's our Mandarin.
And it should really look pale, kind of yellow.
I think it looks lovely.
So I'm very, very sorry about that.
I think it's a surprise.
Yeah.
How amazing.
I thought she was hesitant.
So tell me how you did.
Yes, I will eat ice cream.
I'll leave all the ice cream.
It's got milk in.
That's fine.
I'll be really, really good.
Right, do you want to cut the galette here?
Do you know about dams and vodka?
Well, I'm going to be making it.
That's what I told Jessie to do.
Yeah, I'm going to be doing it all.
But you've got to freeze them first.
Oh, really?
Or you take the skins and you've got to prick them with a fork.
Because otherwise they don't leach out the juice.
So, hold on.
Freeze them first, then prick them.
No, if you freeze them first, they pop.
Okay.
That's why you freeze them, so you don't have to worry about it.
Big bag.
And then smack them around a little bit.
Yeah, so the skins break.
Yeah, so they break and they sort of start to bleed.
Then into a jar, a bit of sugar, and then the cheapest vodka or gin you can buy.
And that's everyone's Christmas present.
How long do you need to leave it for?
Three months.
If you do them now, it's Christmas time.
Well, I think that's what we're going to be having to bloody do,
because there's literally so many.
They're taking over.
They are an interesting thing, Damson,
because a lot of people don't know,
and they are hard to work with.
I don't think this is...
They're more tart than a plum, right?
This is very tart.
I love the fact they're really tart.
And in a tart, they're tart tart.
Thank you, John.
You're so helpful
thank you
thank god
the ice cream's delicious
the ice cream's bloody good
yeah really good
that's amazing
this is a bit sharp
isn't it
it's sharp
but it's okay
because
you've got this ice cream
I think the whole thing's amazing
so
I love it
John we haven't even
bloody asked you
about your last supper
Jesus we've been too busy
guessing
best guest
last supper last supper start Jesus, we've been too busy guessing. You're the best guest.
Last supper.
Last supper.
Start a main purge drink choice.
Well, what upsets me is that I've got to die at this stage.
No, you don't.
You're going on a desert island for six months.
Sorry, it's my last supper.
It's the last thing I eat.
I don't know if any of you know this,
but last means you don't have any more. okay well we had to change it because she got upset
last supper
last before you go
on the desert island
okay so the deal is
realistically for me
well if I go on the desert island
well I don't know about that
see desert island
I've got my
you're taking it all too literally
just give me your favourite
start at main and push John
I've just been told
I've got your daughter
she's had enough now
she wants to go home
this is where she gets tired and she wants to go home this is where she gets tired
and she wants to go to bed isn't that this is it the car's outside i need to go to bed dear
anyway so um it's going to be uh it's got to be a pair of shorts it's got to be barefoot it's got
to be on a beach there's gonna be sand between my toes the sun's got to be shining absolutely
um i would never do start a main course in dessert, ever.
I would always do lots of little things that I have,
so tasty bits and pieces,
because I can never really decide on one thing.
So like when I'm at the River Cafe,
you've got to have lots of different things all the time.
You're my kind of guy, honestly.
That's how I like to, yeah, you've got to,
so to have a good opinion on it.
Yeah, so I'd probably have to go sort of wandering along
the sort of beach stalls in somewhere like an island in thailand somewhere and somebody might be some
grilling some fish and then some chilies or whatever and then a really large glass of
probably rose with lots of ice in it i know neanderthal neanderthal having ice in my wine
i know i don't really give a shit bad Bad luck. That's why I like it.
And then afterwards, once I've done it all,
take my shorts off and go into the water naked.
Oh, John Trowd.
You're a big nudist, naturist.
Well, do you know what?
Exclusive.
You've got it here.
If the Germans can do it on the islands of Mallorca.
Is that what you were doing in Mallorca?
What I saw there was amazing.
A bit of mayonnaise and naked swimming.
Oh my goodness me. You see things you'd wish you'd never seen. Honestly. Is that what you were doing in Menorca? What I saw there was amazing. A bit of mayonnaise and naked soy mayonnaise.
You see things you'd wish you'd never seen.
Honestly.
I mean, forget the last supper, darling.
So what's the pudding in this situation?
I don't think you're a big pudding person.
No, no, no.
I've done lots of different courses.
Oh, I'll tell you what.
What?
Best bit of dessert.
Jean-Georges, New York.
Jean-Georges?
Jean-Georges von Richter, who was an amazing chef,
but Jean-Georges, the big restaurant, really, really posh,
had about nine courses.
Man comes to the table and he says to us,
gentlemen, it's time for marshmallow.
So he's got this sort of big jar and he pulls out big lots of marshmallows and cigar
cutter and chops off bits of marshmallow in the meantime he's carving a pineapple at the side of
the table he's got dried mint and sugar in a mortar and pestle grinds the the um the mint and
the sugar together slices the pineapple which is ripe and warm like it's just come off of a tropical
tree puts on a plate sprinkles it with some kirsch
and then did you like that i really like the clink of the bowls ladies and gentlemen is jesse
actually eating the rest of the
no you can't she won't sleep you know she's got to go home to sleep now anyway go on and they
kirsch across the top and then then just sugar and mint across the top but pineapple honestly
that sounds amazing
best thing
of all the nine courses
we had while we were there
and which restaurants is
it was called
Jean Georges in New York
Jean Georges
before we
well
not let you go
but
do you like
you mean before you go
hand in hand
before I fuck off
do you
do you like
karaoke
you go to Thailand.
My voice is really shit.
Does it matter?
That's okay.
That's better.
I'm sort of one of those things where I like to dance, right?
And that's another reason why I wasn't very invited into Australia.
I was really shit Australian.
I mean, really, really shit Australian.
Why?
Well, I don't drink beer.
Okay.
I don't like Australian rock music.
I mean, I literally hate it. I was a New Rom't like Australian rock music. I'm a literally hate it
I was a new Romantics fan completely which mean I will make up and stuff like that
So I was definitely, you know on the wrong side of the fence made all you eat bats for the wrong side
All right, and um, and I didn't play very much sport. So I was very much not an Aussie. So
Yeah, just you know, so
Karaoke yard like every so often I do it.
So what would be your new romantic song that you do?
Gold.
Spantown Ballet!
Oh my gosh!
It is a great song.
Always believe in your soul.
I know, it's an amour.
You go.
I mean, Tony Hadley, right?
So Tony Hadley.
Yeah.
My yellow Toyota, Beach Road Road 18 years old cassette player
windows down listening to gold and and suddenly celebrity master he turns up how did you deal
with that did you say your food's really good I love you yeah and I did we still have this mutual
love affair being him oh he's great he's lovely he's a really great guy
and then he came back
into another year as well with us
but he's just brilliant
do you have good table manners?
I think he's done a lot
I hope so
I'm not very good with table manners
I don't like
I'm not very good with people
who are off at tables
oh really?
why have you got criticism? no no no I'm interested because I guess I who are off at tables. Oh, really? Why, have you got criticism?
No, no, no, I'm interested because I guess, like,
I wonder whether people ever criticise you.
Does anybody want more ice cream before I put it in the fruit?
Whether anybody criticises you on Twitter,
when you know you're eating your food and it's hard when you're on telly.
Do you actually go on Twitter still?
No, I've come off it.
It's the most awful place in the whole world.
Yeah, yeah.
But the fact is that there was this thing of,
oh, you've got your mouth full.
I eat for a living.
Yeah.
Ladies and gentlemen, watch me.
I'm eating my food and trying it out.
Mum.
You all right there, Daddy?
Yeah, you all right?
Sorry.
Just wanted to get it in, as the actress said to the bishop.
So people complain that you've got your mouth full, that you're trying to eat the food.
And when you go to eat your food
and you're so excited about it
and you want to say something
and you're looking at somebody
and they're
because you know
some people are just waiting
to know what you say
you want to say
and when you really love it so much
and you can't do much else about it
you've got to sometimes just
compose yourself
but yeah
no I think
I think table manners
are really important
I think they make
they make a massive
I think they make a massive...
I think they're like a language.
They're either one of, you know...
And I try and instil in my children
that it's a really good idea
to make sure that you're well behaved at a table.
Do any of them want to be chefs?
I hope not.
Really?
No, no, no.
They don't want chef's arse.
It's the worst affliction in the whole world.
Do you know about chef's arse?
Chef's arse's you've been doing
this podcast for how many years i've never learned so much you've never heard of chef's art okay so
when you first start in kitchens right and it's really really hot and i suppose happens more in
australia but what happens when you sweat a lot as a chef and you're over a stove yeah you're you
know backs up sweat goes down your back and then what happens is the sweat goes into the
crack of your bum yeah right and then of course you turn around to serve your food and then you
because your bum's towards the stove then it dries out the sweat in your bum well sweat's got salt in
it right so eventually there's so much salt built up inside the crack of your bum that as it sort of
rubs together it's like nappy rash seriously so yes i think i got it tonight what chef's ass
oh my yeah and i remember this great story about somebody being caught with their bum in a tub full
of corn flour because corn flour apparently stops all the sweat now why has no one given us this
information in the past five years thank you john tarot no no promise at all I think it's good to impart knowledge
so chef's arse
have nobody ever
talked about chef's arse
no
how come
maybe they aren't
as open and honest
as you
John Turow
you've been
the most fantastic
guest
the best
I wish we could
just keep on chatting
so we'll just have to
carry on having
dinners together again
and thank you so much
I know I know
what time your bedtime is when you come for know I know what time your bedtime is.
When you come for dinner, I know what time I'm going to get you out.
Oh, no.
Late lunch works for me.
Jessica!
Brilliant!
Four o'clock?
Jesse!
Don't you think that's good?
Fucking ace!
Listen, everyone fucks off by night.
That's it, yeah!
Okay, everybody.
Do you like this too?
Let's do a new one called...
What?
Late lunch.
Late lunch?
Fuck off. Late Lunch. Late Lunch? Fuck off.
Late Lunch.
I want to say something.
Jerome didn't want to get out of here.
Darling, I'm just slightly a bit in love.
What, with the fact that he likes to swim naked like Edmund?
No, darling.
It's not that.
Oh, ping.
He's texting you.
No, he's not.
He's giving us the date for dinner.
Oh, he's saying we're having the roast chicken with the truffle.
He was such good fun.
Honestly, I haven't laughed.
He was so fun. the fact that i met him
on like a set and he remembered your lactation how could you forget
i'm glad that now your lactating boob is now the last thing you remember is my lactating chicken
soup um but i love it that you were like oh i i said in the intro we'll just it's
to not embarrass him let's not like talk about the the boob situation in masterchef and you
were completely appalled first thing he said um he was so sweet generous funny funny opinionated
ate everything gave us everything and more i just like the perfect table manners guest yeah perfect have i done
enough cleaning up not really but it's fine um thank you john to road for being such a fantastic
guest on table manners can't wait to eat him and lisa's food me neither i mean you know now we know
how to cook a chicken i've been doing it wrong for 70 years that's mad isn't it yeah but i can
understand the seasoning thing
because we always put you put garlic and you put i'm gonna actually you know what i'm gonna put it
out to the listeners um please email us hello at table manners podcast.com um how you cook your
chicken how you do your chicken because obviously we all shove a lemon up the butt and all that and
an onion and an onion and thyme, whatever.
I usually put butter under the skin.
But I've never thought to season inside the carcass.
So I want to know how many other people have been doing it wrong for the whole of their lives.
Can I just say my tadlik or whatever you call it was perfect.
Tadik.
Tadik.
Tadik.
We should really learn how to say it.
It was perfect tonight.
Beautiful.
It was so crispy.
He said two things were beautiful.
What?
Your rice and your lamb.
Your lamb was good, wasn't it?
Good old Steve.
All right.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for listening.
The music you've heard on Table Manners is by Peter Duffy and Pete Fraser.
Table Manners is produced by Alice Williams.