Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S2 Ep 3: Ralf Little

Episode Date: February 28, 2018

Ralf Little. The most intensely brilliant guest and Twitter debatee. What you don’t see here is the three hours after we stopped recording sitting around the table setting the world to rights. What you do see is the lowdown on the Royle Family, ruined pancake days and our invite to Jeremy Hunt to finish the NHS debate once and for all. What a night! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Table Manners, I'm Jessie Ware and this is my mother Lenny. Hi. Mum, you know you are a rising star. Thank you very much, I'll just keep my star where it is. The people won't know. I'll have to wait. So our guest for Table Manners this evening is the actor Ralph Little. I'm so excited about this.

This was your idea actually. I know, it's my idea because I've been a fan since he was in The Royal Family. I think he's a great actor. But more impressive for me is his defence of the National Health Service. We need as many people out there defending it as we can. He's now kind of, at the moment, he's very well known for getting into a public spat with Jeremy Hunt. I've been following the Twitter debate between them and he would like a live debate.

Shame we haven't got Jeremy tonight for dinner. Did we try? We did try. We emailed Jeremy's press person and we have had no response. Doesn't surprise me. Yeah. We are somewhat connected. It's quite a tenuous link, but we'll chat about that later. Interesting. I feel we're quite connected with him.

Why? He's Northern. I feel we're quite connected with him. Why? He's northern. Northern. He's political. He's interested in the health service, which is a great passion of mine. I believe it's a national treasure and I think he does too.

It's about to go newsite up in this bitch. So we've had a bit of a busy podcast week. We've had four in one week and I've been set the task of this final dinner so we have gone back and forth on this my brother actually decided on this because he thought that this would work best with Ralph who knows Sam is a bit worried that it's like having dessert for dinner it's a lamb tagine with apricots and sultanas why did you put sultanas in as well because i fancied it oh okay do you think in morocco like that have you do you think it's sweet it's sweet but mum i'm sorry you're says the woman that's done chicken with uh what was it apricot jam yeah apricot jam who wanted to do wants to do coca-cola chicken who did brisket in the sweetest sauce okay so you know

you're an inspiration to me in my cooking thank you darling so it's a very sweet lamb tagine and then we're going with with couscous with orange zest and almonds and then my brother's going to do the pudding again because he's just very good at it and it's gonna be a yogurt cake with pistachio and pomegranates it's the legendary morrow yogurt cake which we absolutely adore it's amazing restaurant in london which just does the most beautiful mediterranean food and this is one of my favorite dishes on the menu and it's kind of a staple on them it's always there um so i hope ralph likes it and we're going to have cavolo nero with the tagine just to kind of you know that's not sweet is it no ralph little coming up

ralph little welcome to table manners thank you so much for coming over on friday night thanks for inviting me very excited very excited also I'm I'm knocking on a bit now so I'll have nothing else to do on Friday night this is the first time I've been out on a Friday night in years

so we're great we really we really don't know you at all do we no we met about four minutes ago yeah

and we've already had cuddles and I know it's been great there is a bit of a your mum kind of hit on me a little bit I tried to push you and then you asked me if I was single and I wasn't sure if that was for your mum's

benefit okay okay so this is a very tenuous link well it's not that tenuous you actually did a just 17 shoot with my sister when you were much younger and you shared a cab together um I don't do you remember this there was a thing I once did and it said these are the essentially kids that are coming through that was what it was yeah I'm not making this up

these are the kids that are coming through I'm turning the kettle off in the next sort of iteration and there was a young black lad that was a businessman

in the world of business and he had a thing that he was going to do with phones and there was a young girl who was a young girl who was a filmmaker who's had bleach blonde hair this is dragging up a memory and there was a young girl who's a model and there was me who was an actor and i shared a cab with her on the way yeah and i

i'm genuinely not just saying this i just can't believe that this memory is now coming through i remember thinking she was the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen in my entire life. She is gorgeous. Some people think that. And really sound. And I remember her being really unmodelly in that she was just going, I don't really know if I want to do this

because it's kind of full of dicks. Yeah, that would be her. How extraordinary that genuinely, and I'm so pleased because when you said, I'm like, I don't think I'd ever think of Just 17. But I've remembered though, that photo shoot and those people so pleased is when you said I don't think I don't think we're just 17 But I've remembered though that photoshoot And I remembered sharing a cab with this girl and I've remembered the rest of my because we're not American We don't do that thing where we go. Hey, can I get your number and we're going to date?

Yeah, we're British. So we have to sort of pretend we're not interested in each other pretty much up until the moment We have sex. Yeah, it's very weird And so of course there was no opportunity to say anything never got a number or anything and so of course there was no opportunity to say anything never got a number or anything and

was that really your sister? it was my sister what an amazing thing my girlfriend lives in America she'll never know let's give her Hannah lives in America though oh

oh we're going crazy I'm just saying look at you trying to usurp my girlfriend you are terrible ruining this

no she Hannah's an actress. Really? Where does she live? New York or America? LA. Wow. Yeah.

That's the other side of the continent. Yeah, a bit more of a schlep. It is a bit. I already schlepped to New York for my girlfriend. She's coming over in a week. Stop trying to get me to shag your daughter.

Jesus Christ, you're like a terrible pig. I think you should have at least a taxi journey to do this oh my god it's going to be like before sunrise

and like oh that amazing trilogy this is amazing oh the Ethan Hawke yeah that really potential tell you what might be quite fun

why don't we do a taxi ride and do it as a podcast yeah and just go for no reason whatsoever see what we've both learnt in the interview yeah that would be really good

because we were both like in fact I remember thinking I sound so young and naive and thinking she sounded really cool. So we'll see where we are now. Because she'd been trained. Yeah. So just to kind of explain, my mother was very keen to get you on because she was the person that pointed me in the direction of you and your Twitter. Ongoing Twitter. I like calling it a debate or an exchange. Exchange, not a spat.

We're not going to call it a spat. No, people do keep calling it a spat. I understand why sometimes people call it a spat with perfectly well-intentioned reasoning on Twitter, probably because they don't have a lot of characters to say exchange. But it's not a spat because a spat involves two people slinging insults at each other. And I've been very, very careful not to.

You haven't. Very careful not to. Just to kind kind of set it up can you explain to some people that don't know what what's going on on twitter okay so um i um i tweeted so i i was at home and i watched uh jeremy hunt secretary of state for health head of the nhs i watched him on andrew marr's politics show um i I keep trying to think of sort of smart legal ways to say this, but I'll just say it, lying, just lying. Throwing out a load of statistics that just, they were so complex and complicated that as much as Andrew Marr's a professional, a great professional, you can't, if you've thrown a load of statistics thrown at you, you don't have time to go, well, wait a second, I don't have that same time. What's Andrew Marr going to do? I don't believe you, you can't say you've thrown a load of statistics thrown at you you don't have time to go well wait a second i don't know what's andrew margaret do i don't believe you can't say that

right but i follow uh a lot of junior doctor activists on on twitter and i was watching this and i was seeing them at the same time tweeting going this is simply not true and i was so angry and i just tweeted pretty angrily uh i tweeted at jeremy hunt i said this is what it looks like when a man goes on tv and lies knowingly lies to the british public um if i'm wrong jeremy hunt sue me i double dare you which was in in retrospect pretty aggressive and not entirely legally sound um so didn't think anything of it because I, you know, it's Twitter. You send stuff like,

I mean, I don't like aggressively insult people. I was angry about that but I never thought for a minute that he'd get back to me. I thought he might block me but I never thought he'd say it. Ten days later,

this tweet comes back from him which to this day I'm still astonished by and it said, it said, a load of more statistics. It said, I can't remember them off the top of my head, but it was like 6,000 new nurses registered,

so and so doing this, doing this, and a load of spurious statistics. And then he followed it up by going, isn't it your job to find a country that's done better and faster? And I was like, okay, I'll do it. Well, actually my opening gambit was, if you think that that's my job,

you overestimate the responsibilities of professional actors, but I'll have a go. I love that. So I did. And I, you know, talked to people and got their advice and asked them what they thought and then did this tweet. And I said, your first claim is this. Well, this graph shows that this and this statement was released. So we can say that that's not true. Then this one's not true. Then this one's not true then this one's not true then this one's not true and in fairness to me i actually said to him you also claim this statistic but you actually underestimated the progress that you have made so in actual fact this one goes in your favor so fair enough no thanks for that um and then i followed that up by saying look you so we've done that but rather than throw it throw in you know i didn't say throw it but rather than call each other names on

twitter i said let's do this properly. Since you're obviously willing to engage and that's to your credit, let's do this properly. Why don't me and you sit together in a room and we'll discuss this. But not just me and you, we'll have fact checkers and junior doctors there present so that we all know where we stand. And how's that going for you? Well, he came back and he said i don't think i've i said i said let's not call each other names and i said i'm sure you're a reasonable person and he said i don't think i've ever called anyone names despite you making some quite serious

allegations that you can't back up what's interesting to me is that he said but i'm still happy to meet up and talk as long as it's going to be reasoned debate and not twitter screaming so he did say this he did say he agreed to meet. And then what happened was, I said something, I can't remember whether I said something, but basically he then said, right, let's clear this up, he said. And then he sent me a whole load of new statistics, and then he said, this will be my last word on the matter. I frankly think it would be madness for him to engage in that debate.

I think it was madness for him to reply in the first place to me. I think he got painted himself into a terrible corner and I'm now going to continue to be a thorn in his side because I'm not going to let him get away with it. Good for you. Oh, Jeremy, we so wish you'd come for dinner tonight. You've been sorely missed. You've been sorely missed.

It's a safe space. It's very safe. We've been sorely missed. You've been sorely missed. It's a safe space. It's very safe. We're all civilised people. And if you would like to come, would you come back now? I'd certainly come back, especially for the cooking more than anything. But the terms remember were Jeremy, me, junior doctors and some fact checkers. We'll have all of them. So there's a lot of cooking to be done.

That's fine. We'll have the whole team here. So your brother's a doctor? Junior doctor? My brother's, he's 27, so he's done his junior doctor training and he's now training to be an anaesthetist. And I briefly, very briefly,

started medical school way back in the day. Did you? So yeah, yeah, at Manchester, yeah. I mean, I was only there for five weeks. Was this before the Royal Family? No. The Royal Family came out the same week as I started medical school. Oh.

Literally the same week. So I started medical school on the Monday. And on the Thursday, the first episode was broadcast. And within like a week, suddenly it was like, talk about crossroads in your life. Yeah. And going, what am I going to do? I thought I was going to be a doctor my whole life. That's what I've geared up towards.

Have you got doctors in the family? No, I don't know. Just, that's what I was was going to be a doctor my whole life that's what I've geared up towards have you got um doctors in the family no I don't know just um that's what that's what I was always going to do um and I was there now that my brother he's 10 years younger than me um now that he's a doctor I'm like oh my mum's delighted at least she got one um so um yeah so I don't know so I my formal education stopped at 18. So it's not like I've sort of gone and done a degree here and that there. But I've always considered myself, because I studied all sciences, I've considered myself, for what it's worth, to be one of these people who leans more to a scientific way of thinking

but happens to work in the arts. You know, like Dara O'Brien, who is extremely, you've got a degree in maths, I think. Has he? Yeah, yeah, get him on. He's great. You know, obviously Brian Cox is basically a genius

who was in D-Ream. So sort of that crossover. Oh my God, I didn't know that. Did you not? No, he wasn't. Brian Cox was in D-Ream. Shut up. I didn't know that.

Yeah, Professor Brian Cox, not the actor Brian Cox. You're kidding. Yeah, he was the keyboardist in D-Ream. Oh my God. Yeah, you can see him on the top of the pops going. How did you know that? Did anyone else know that? Yes. Fuck, not the actor Brian Cox. Yes, you're kidding. Yeah, he was the keyboardist in D.R.E. Oh my God. Yeah, you can see him on the top of the pops going, Did anyone else know that? Yes.

Fuck, I didn't know that. It's pretty well known. Okay, right. I didn't know that. It's pretty well known. Well, God, I'm like, me and Mark. He looks a bit like a rock star. He's a dude.

Yeah, he's a real dude, yeah. And that's why I love science. So, yeah, I've always vaguely, whether or not that's a grandiose way of thinking, maybe I don't deserve it, but I've always felt like I'm vaguely in that camp, like I'm somebody who's in the arts, started out from a science background.

So I like to think that I think of things from a slightly more science-y, or not science, but evidence-based perspective. Evidence is key, it's everything. Statistics are key, but you have to understand how they can be manipulated and what the full picture is. So I think everybody in the world should read Ben Goldacre's book Bad Science because if you don't know about how to read, how to listen to

evidence, you don't know the difference between anecdotal evidence and peer-reviewed evidence, it's just important and if you know this shit then you can view the world in a way that like you can make sense of things and understand you can spot very clearly when people are trying to sell you something which is what i spotted so you know the junior doctor strike a few years ago yeah it was when i really started to get furious about this whole thing and the government led by jeremy hunt spanned this this idea that junior doctors were being greedy that's what really insensitive greedy entitled um lazy and lazy and in a privileged position how many my brother just did a night shift and he was meant to be back here to have

a sleep uh what like 9 30 he got back at i think like one like he does over time because he didn't want to finish because something needed to be sorted they don't just clock off and they're like oh someone's dying bye as i understand it one of the things that has caused a real problem to get back to the to get um to the uh the original strike and the extra hours that you're just talking about they asked to work as i understand that and feel free anybody who's listening to this to correct me but it used to be that doctors had to work mad overtime hours and they there was they complained about it so in response to that they changed the the the law or the guideline or i think the law i think they changed the law and they said doctors now can only work a certain number of hours oh but but the rules then said

doctors uh can't work over time all they have to do is they have to stay on long enough to finish off what they've already started but the practical application of that is doctors work a certain amount of time then still work all the hours that they used to work but now don't get paid for it yeah so if anything it's it's a it's legislation that's uh disguised as helpful but actually has made the situation a lot worse. So anyway, that was how they got into this situation. And then there's the unsafe working hours.

And then there's pay. And, you know, there's this imposing a contract. Jeremy Hunt said several times, yeah, I'll have to impose the contract if necessary. And then they took him to court. And the court said, you're not allowed to impose a contract. And he said, yeah, I never actually said I was imposing a contract. I don't know one junior doctor that signed the contract.

No. Because I don't know any junior doctor that does sign a contract. It's interesting because a neighbor down the road's daughter wanted to change direction. And she said, what about your contract? And she said, I've never signed one. No, no, no. Because they're so inefficient. They don't have the contracts.

So people are working in this kind of blindness and no one knows what the expectations are when they stop. But I know it's really poorly paid. Well, yeah, I mean, my girlfriend's American. I'm in New York quite a lot at the moment. And aside from the fact that you talk to any American for any length of time, 10 minutes, chances are healthcare insurance is going to pop up

because they live in a permanent, perpetual state of anxiety about it. You know, and this is what, this is the danger of private health insurance. But doctors over there are very, very wealthy people. And there's no reason that, you know, that's not a criticism, but they're extremely wealthy. They're kind of, you know, you can be relatively young as a doctor over there and be pulling in 300 grand a year and I'm not going to start talking about how

my brother's getting paid but it's it ain't that if he's lucky it's about a tenth of that yeah so you know

and they do it because they love the NHS and my brother they're not doing it for the money are they no it's a vocation

my brother could go could go private could have gone private and he said to me time and time again, I'll never leave the NHS. And I think so many doctors feel like that because they believe in it. So I do apologise, Ralph,

because my mum is a better cook than me, but we do have lamb tagine with apricots and sultanas with flaked kind of um roasted almonds and then we've got orange zest couscous with some pistachios and almonds and then alex has done the pud which is yogurt cake have you ever been tomorrow oh yeah yeah yeah have you ever had the yogurt cake? Exmouth Market, yeah. I've never had the yogurt cake, though. Okay, it's really great. Okay.

And so that's what we're having. I mean, it looks extraordinary. It's rich, bit of onion there dangling off the ladle. Apricots and raisins, did you say were in it? Sultanas. Sultanas, bit of a coriander garnish. Yeah, Clara Amfo calls it, what's she call it? The devil's herb.

She hates coriander. People who don't like coriander really don't like coriander. I know. I really don't. I think what you've done, I think the thing for me with a stew is always like, I mean, I don't mind a bit of cooking myself. With a stew, it's the consistency that's key. This is good, darling.

And this is perfect. Thank you. Well, there was a lot of effort that went into it. Rich and, you know i took the meat out so it doesn't go too kind of sad and then you you kind of you you reduce it so yeah i hope it's good but yeah you're nailing it i'm all over it thank you there we go i'm very pleased to see no vegetables that makes me very happy it's coming but i just forgot to put it on. Oh. But you don't have to have it on. No, no, no.

I only ever eat a bit of green stuff just because I know somewhere in the world my mum might be happy. This coriander's enough. There's like one tiny bit of coriander that'll shut her up. Fine, fine. Yeah. This is good. In some respects, I still have the palate of a 10-year-old boy, but hey. What did you grow up on? Like, were your families foodie I feel extremely guilty

about a lot of things in life but particularly as a young boy my behaviour as a kid my mum was a real sort of progressive

feminist I think she was one of the earliest like one of the first few hundred female chartered accountants in the country having to qualify

she was a bit of a trailblazer and I've seen pictures of her in the 70s. It's always funny when you see how cool your parents were. My mum used to drive a Triumph Spitfire long hair. In the 60s she was, and I was like, my mum was cool. I was like, Dad, nice one. But she used to really, she used to kind of read all the good housekeeping recipes

and she used to really experiment. These days we take it for granted that you know you might have a curry or you might have some type like homemade curry or a tie i don't mean necessarily ordering in but in the early 80s late 80s even households a lot of households were meat potatoes veg and i used to be quite the fussy eater and so my mum's experience of me as a kid, and actually my siblings too, was making all this effort to make this stuff. And then I was having it and going, it's horrible, everything.

Have things changed? Oh yeah, you grow up and... Have you apologised? I think I might have, but she doesn't remember. Does she still cook? Well, she does, but she's on her own now, my mum, and she doesn't. I do feel a bit guilty about it. Now she's sort of extremely basic.

She just makes the basic stuff that she needs, like, to survive. And it would be probably a little bit self-flagellating to imagine that that's entirely down to us. No, I don't think it was. But, you know, you do feel guilty going, oh, I hope we just sort of didn't break her enthusiasm for it but I don't think so. But for example though she did make some clear mistakes with kids. Trove Tuesday, Pancake Day, we're so excited, delighted and I was in an age where you remember like there's like maybe sort of four or five or six or something like that where you start to become conscious and you start to remember things and you don't remember a

year ago when you were three and a year ago when you were three and two years ago when you were two. So my first experience of Pancake Day, I was like, Pancake Day, what is it? And you're getting told and you're going, this is going to be amazing. And I turn up on Pancake Day and my mum has seen in Good Housekeeping

or Women's Magazine or something, she's seen, hey, have healthy Pancake Day with cottage cheese, pineapple and chopped red peppers in. Oh my God. And I'm waiting for a fucking pancake with sugar and syrup and Nutella and orange juice. And this shit's put in front of me. And I'm five years old and I'm like, get this shit out of my face. So, you know, she did make some schoolboy errors on that school.

You used to eat cottage cheese and pineapple. That was like a thing. It was the 80s. You can buy it in a bottle. You can buy it. When you're on those bloody diets. Yeah, always cottage cheese and pineapple. It was the 80s.

Big shoulder pads. Wall Street. Cottage cheese and pineapple. And cottage cheese and pineapple. Healthy bloody pancakes. That's funny. Who gives a five-year-old boy a healthy cottage cheese pancake and expects them to eat it? Did you eat healthily?

I don't think we ate naughtily, but like, you know, like you, it was always home cooked. Yeah. Like we've talked about this before in one of the podcasts, but like, you know, we had the odd Kiev and like, I think we thought that was quite novel.

Yeah. Well, did you know, I mean, she could really cook and she was so varied and she made homemade curries in a time when people didn't really make homemade curries. And she was kind of always ahead of the curve like that. Did you eat out a lot in Manchester? No, no, not at all, actually.

No, it was all home cooked. They were kind of very big on the old, we get home, we sit around the table. Which I think if I have kids, I'll probably be the same. Is it a Manchester thing then? Sitting around the table? No, I don't know. It might also be a not much money thing. I want to know about everyone in the Royal family.

Take it from the top. Well, many of them are exactly what you'd expect. Ricky Tomlinson is exactly Ricky Tomlinson. He's exactly Jim Royal. Sue Johnston is just the most wonderful human being. She's just amazing. She's the most genuine. Sue Johnston's so cool. I read her autobiography. You know when you read someone's autobiography and you go,

I didn't know that about you. Sue Johnston used to kick about with the Beatles in the cavern when she was a kid. And they all, as far as I could tell from reading between the lines in her book, they all fancied her. I love that she kind of implied that that's brilliant I inferred it

maybe more than she implied it but I don't know if she'd agree with this but from what I inferred from the book Paul McCartney was definitely trying to shag her and she was not

definitely but I I mean you know don't quote me on that but that's how I saw it but she's just great and Sue almost out of all of us you know, don't quote me on that, but that's how I saw it. But she's just great. And Sue, almost out of all of us, you know, Ricky's amazing and hilarious,

but Ricky plays Ricky in everything. As an actor, he does it amazingly, but that's what he does. And, you know, Caroline did her thing and Craig did his thing. And I'd like to think I'm a good actor, but most of the time I've only ever had the chance to kind of just play someone who's similar to myself. But Sue is the real deal. You know, she's trained, came up as that generation of working class actors from Liverpool,

worked with Jimmy McGovern, Ricky and all that kind of thing, and is a genuine, she's the real article in terms of, well, there's a reason she's an OBE. She is amazing. Caroline Ahern, of course. I mean, extraordinary. I always feel like Craig should be mentioned specifically at this point because everybody talks about Caroline and everybody knows that Caroline was a genius

and people use that word a lot, but it was very true with her. And she wore it so lightly. But Craig Cash, without Craig Cash, there's no royal family. And I think that he doesn't get enough credit for that. Yeah, I mean, it was Lennon and McCartney um I don't know which Craig would prefer to be uh but it really was um and so Caroline is this extraordinary vibrant creative mind that just saw things just a little bit differently like like true genius does and

equally I think because she saw things differently, found it sometimes quite hard to relate to the world in a quote unquote normal way. But she was something special. And then Craig Cash is just a dude. He's like the nicest, exactly what you think. Oh, all right, Ralphie. I love that for the flat vowels. Yeah, somebody, he said, hey, Ralphie. I love that flat vowel. Yeah.

Somebody, he said, hey, Ralphie, somebody asked me if I talk like this in real life or I'm putting it on. I said, what do you think? Okay. Fair enough, Craig.

But it was like, almost like a precursor to the Gogglebox. Well, I mean, I'm sure. Well, Craig said, the producer of Gogglebox read an interview with her and went, yeah, they still own their own family. Yeah. I mean, straight up said... Well, Craig said to us... I think, you know... The producer of Gogglebox read an interview with her and went,

yeah, they still own their own family. Yeah. I mean, straight up said it. Of course they did. But Craig said to me a couple of years ago, we were having a drink, and he went, hey, Gogglebox is great, innit? I was like, we were only saying that because you and Caroline narrated it, like joking, and he's going, I tell you what, though, what a great idea.

Why didn't we think of it? Why didn't we just go, well, we've done it once, we'll do it again? I was like, well, yeah, it kind of would have have been nice did you realize it was going to be so successful when you went for the audition when it's a very good question i remember reading the script the night before um not during the audition because i've only seen one scene but the night before the first read through i remember reading uh the script and my mum sort of padding around on the landing outside my bedroom and then I finished and went downstairs and sat down next to her on the on the settee to watch the telly and she was

like I didn't hear you laughing very much I was like well I know there's no jokes but it's funny I think and then I walked into the read-through and you've got Ricky Tomlinson there who I knew from Cracker not Brookside I was like oh God, it's the guy from Cracker. This woman, Caroline Hearn, obviously I knew, and Craig. And, you know, Ricky opens his mouth in the first couple of lines and suddenly everybody's laughing. And then on the, during filming, honestly, my, I did a play with Mackenzie Crook a few years ago and I had this conversation with him and we both,

he talks about filming The Office and I talk about filming The Royal Family. And mainly we have memories, we have snippets of memories of moments, but really our memory is this. conversation with him and we both he talks about filming The Office and I talk about filming The Royal Family and mainly we have memories we have snippets of memories of moments but really our memory is this you turn up for work

you start work at 8am you kind of laugh uncontrollably tears running down your face until about 7pm and you go home and you go

how did we ever get anything done like that was basically I've never just howled with laughter so much on a job all the time

just like this podcast it is like this podcast yeah it was so so when you're having that much you go in

well we think it's funny so yeah you know hopefully everybody else will but we nobody could have known that it was gonna

and it did you know look I was just the kid that was dragged on along with it nobody could have known it was gonna change the it did, you know, look, I was just the kid that was dragged along with it. Nobody could have known it was gonna change the face of British comedy for a decade. The doctor who's been on a night shift

has kindly, selflessly made yoghurt cake. He's not happy with it. In fact, he's not, I think, he's walked out of the room because he's embarrassed about it. Stormed out, flounced out. But I bet you it tastes good. Presentation, I'd give it a little

I'd give it a five but it tastes who knows. I'm gonna throw I'm gonna throw this out there right I obviously if you're in a restaurant then that's one thing but I love cooking actually I'm not too shabby in the kitchen yourself and one of the things I really generally don't give a shit about is presentation I couldn't really care less. No, Jesse's a similar lady. Because I'm only going to scoop it out, whack it on my plate and throw it down my gob anyway.

That's exactly how I feel. So bless him, Alex was looking at that. That's why we've got no pictures of any of the food we've cooked. Because Jesse shoves it on. Exactly. But so Alex, you know, stormed out the room

all looking upset. But that actually to me looks delicious even though it's a collapsed cake. Have you got any cream? No. Cream Cream solves everything darling. I didn't realise you'd have yoghurt and cream but that's a... You know what I think this is going to be okay. It's a bit like... Okay and if you don't mind me slopping it. Jessica! Sorry Ralph. Jessica! He's supposed to have it on the other side.

I'm sorry but it's going to taste the same isn't it? No it is not. Let's call it yoghurt upside down cake. Yeah okay perfect. Jessica even Let's call it yogurt upside down cake. Yeah, okay, perfect. Yogurt upside down. Jessica, even he's turning it over. Jesus Christ. You're absolutely a fool.

Right. Well, hold on. Let's have a taste. You just sounded like Greg Wallace in last year. Why is it so small? Because it didn't rise. No, even if it rose. You know what?

What? I think it's because I opened the oven to check it wasn't burning. So I think it's actually my fault. Never tell a nutto. Taste is innate. By the way, it tastes amazing. It's nice, right? It's fantastic.

So there you go. What is it? Yogurt cake. Talk me through it. It's like yogurt with eggs and not self-raising flour. So actually my opening of the oven shouldn't have messed it up, I don't think. The eggs darling. Oh shit, because it's like a soufflé.

Shit. Okay, so plain flour. Mix in that crunchy bit. Oh yeah, have the crunchy bit. Darling, it shouldn't actually be much higher than this. I'm just shocked it's quite small. Thank you very much. Because I make it.

The grass is going in for seconds. Oh yeah, I'm not messing about. So yeah, we've got, and then it's got pomegranates and pistachios on it. And actually, it's really tasty. It's great. It's bloody good. What's our flavourings here? Citrusy.

It's quite citrusy. Lemon. A lot of lemon in here. Lemon. And half an orange, I think. But we can take no credit for this recipe. This is a morrow one through and through. So, you're a good...

You say you're not a bad chef, so what's your, do you do dinner parties? Do you, like, what's your best thing to cook? No, I knock up a pretty mean lasagna, but from scratch. You know this kind of white sauce from a packet business? No. What's your secret ingredient? Do you have a secret ingredient?

Mine's mango chutney. In a lasagna? Mm-hmm. Jesus Christ. Wow. I got that from a friend at university, it was her grandmother's idea, and it works. Wow. Trust me. Does it? Trust university. It was her grandmother's idea, and it works. Wow. Trust me.

Does it? Trust me. It's just got a sweetness. Just trust me. Where do you put it? Just put it in the meat? In the ragout, yeah. Okay. Wow.

Probably just Worcester sauce, actually. I like it. I never put Worcester sauce in mine. I do, yeah. I put everything. Worcester sauce in a lasagna, yeah. Well, and basically, that's why my spaghetti bolognese recipe. So the seasoning is Worcester sauce in that lasagna, yeah. Well, and basically, that's why my spaghetti bolognese recipe. So that's the seasoning is Worcester sauce in that.

It's very distinctive. And then I just use that for a lasagna. Nice. Yeah. Any pudding? Are you a baker? Are you a pudding person? I mean, I would be, but I never get around to it.

Do you know what my favorite cake is in the world? What? Victoria sponge. I'm a man of simple tastes. I love it. I'm a man of simple. My favorite biscuits are like rich tea and plain digestives. I'm a grandad in that respect.

Can I ask you something, because you come from Bury. Did you used to go to Blackpool as a kid? Yeah, Blackpool Illuminations every... Of course. And did you ever get tomatoes? You know they used to sell tomatoes on the way home. And they were the best tomatoes you've ever eaten. They were hard, bullet, sweet tomatoes.

Well... Blackpool tomatoes. It's funny you should say that because who is it? It was Mark, the sound engineer. So I think about coriander, what did you say? That like it's a genetic thing.

It's that to certain people with a genetic predisposition, coriander doesn't taste like coriander. It tastes just weird and foul and it's not like about fussiness. And Mark experiences that. And it was fascinating to me that because I have this visceral, innate, almost phobia.

Not phobia because it's not that weird, but like hatred of tomatoes. Oh, how weird. Hatred. I asked you that. Yeah. I wasn't going to mention it, but then you answered it.

Yeah, just in the vibes, you know. What is it about it? The seeds? The texture, the know. What is it about it? The seeds? The texture, the just... You can eat them cooked? Well, what's so weird is... There's a tomato in there. Chopped tomatoes, tin chopped tomatoes.

What's so weird is I can make a spaghetti bolognese, make a lasagna. If a pizza arrives, I can eat pizza fine. But if the pizza has slices of tomato on it, I have to have them removed by somebody else. It's so weird. By somebody else? Yeah, I can't. Oh, that's a real problem. I can't get the juice of the seeds on my hand.

And when I'm cooking, I have to be so careful. If I'm pouring passata into something. Have you ever had a bit of a situation on a date where you've just freaked out? No, it's never been quite that bad. I'm used to avoiding it. You just avoid places that serve tomatoes. This morning, I was having quite an important meeting, an important work meeting, it was a breakfast meeting and I'd ordered scrambled eggs on toast and they brought it

and there was a cooked tomato on the side. Now a cooked tomato is the devil's work, right? Because it's there and it's hard, it's over, like if it was in its skin I can live with that because it's contained. But there it is and if you press it it it's cooked and it all spurges over oh my god oh my god mum

I've always got problems as weird but as weird as that is I'll tell you what's even weirder about it is that obviously over the years

you have this conversation a few times because people say oh do you not eat this and do you not eat that and what's most weird about it is not that

that's how I am what's really weird is there's not that that's how i am what's really weird is there's loads of us out there yeah loads of us and i mean specifically people yeah and i mean specifically not just oh i don't like tomato but not just oh i don't like it but specifically this visceral reaction that i've got specifically you can eat pizza but you can't have a slice so i can eat like a spaghetti or a ragu but if if there's a lump of tomato in it I have to have I have to take that out and what's so weird is I just thought that was me but there's loads of us out there so I wondered when Mark said about the coriander I wondered if there's like

a genetic predisposition to finding tomatoes extremely horrific do you think you've got any bad table manners my girlfriend pointed something out that I think is quite funny that it's quite specific to me and my brother who eats like me we neither of us we we have to have the food has to be moist which is why everything tonight was perfect so you've got the stew and you've got this is just great yeah but like dry food crisps are probably the exception if I have dry food I always have to have a drink with it and I didn't realize this until literally a couple of months ago when my girlfriend pointed it out. She was crying with laughter. I don't realize it. But I'll get a mouthful, I'll start chewing it and then without thinking I'll store it inside of her mouth in little pouches and then I'll get a drink, have a sip and then bring the food back in, mix it all together. Oh my god, that's what my kid does. I know, but your kid's like 25. No, she's only two. Yeah, I know.

It's so weird. Luckily, I think my cheeks don't bulge so people don't notice it. I wish we'd done something dry just so I could have seen that and then we could have discussed it later. Well, we'll chat for a bit and then see if you've got a biscuit or something else. Or some dry cereal. Yeah, I've just got to shove that in my mouth. And what don't you like in other people's table manners?

Spending a bit of time in America is fascinating because... It's fucking rude when they take your bloody plate. Is that what you were about to say? Aren't they? But they're rude when they take your plate. But the... When the other people haven't finished. When you're a guest with your American friends and you're eating,

your American friends are fucking rude to the waiters. I can't bear it. I've never feel more British in my entire life. Excuse me. When, then when we're, um, we're at a table and we'll be eating it. And if somebody, we were laughing, cause if somebody brings something, I'll, I'll eat it and I'll go and like, is that, is that okay? And I'm like, well, it's, it could be bad, but it's fine, right? In America, they send everything back. They go, yeah, the broccoli's not as, it's not as al dente as I wanted it. Can you take it back?

And I'm going, I'm waiting for a hole to swallow me up in the floor. I can't bear it. But it's because you can do whatever you want. You basically can ask for scrambled eggs, but you'll get fried eggs because you'll go, yeah, can I have them cut? People basically change their meal. I can't order coffee with my girlfriend. I can't order coffee with my girlfriend. What does she order?

It changes every time. Mac and chocolate latte. Yeah, and she never fucking drinks it anyway. Everything. Can I get a, do you have chai? Do you have chai? No, actually I'll get a green tea, but could you have a half hot water, a half cold? That's exactly what we do.

And put a little, oh my God, shut the fuck up. If it's not on the menu, if you can't order a tall latte, don't come in. Do you have oatmeal milk? Shut up. It's embarrassing to us all. I can't do it. Ralph Little, thank you so much

for being the most incredible guest and educating all of us and thanks for my delicious food a pleasure

but no it's been an absolute pleasure to listen to your stories and understand your hatred for tomatoes tomatoes

and I'm sorry for waffling on a lot are you kidding I feel like I've told myself a great deal that was what we wanted. That's what I had to talk about us. No, this is the whole point.

Thank you. Keep the fight. Oh, I'll keep the fight. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere. Brath little mum. My idea. My idea of heaven. Ralph Little Mum. My idea. My idea of heaven.

He was so much more than I thought he would be and so wonderful, so intelligent. He needs his own podcast, to be honest. He needs his own podcast, but he's so intelligent. And I do think you have this vision of someone in the royal family, this young lad. But of course he's not. He's a wonderfully clever man.

I feel like that was one of the most exciting podcasts we've done so far. Yeah, I think it was. Well, he had a lot to say. He had so much to say. And we absolutely loved having him. It was such a pleasure. Yeah. I think if he had... Mum had now i know how you feel after

you've cooked i had i can't i can't speak i'm shattered shattered mom how was the food it was delicious thank you he was like i'm not going to, he was a bit suspicious when you said tagine. Did you say that? Yeah, I think he thought like, what's coming? And then he just got stuck in and loved it. He had seconds. Thank God we didn't know about the tomatoes. Oh, imagine. That would make him gag.

If I'd done my special oven roasted cherry tomatoes on vine. It's a bit strange though. I've never heard of tomato version. I kind of understand it, but I'm such a pig that I still, I get that, but I don't find it repulsive. No, I don't.

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, review, whatever on your favourite podcasting app. But we know what you're going to do. Five stars. Five stars. The music on the show was created by

Pete Duffy and Pete Fraser. Table Manners was produced by our friends Cup and Nuzzle. Thanks so much for listening

and we'll see you next week. Do you want to say goodbye to your fans, Mum? Bye. Short and sweet. The mystique is still there. On each step with Peloton, from their pop runs to walk-in talks, We'll see you next time. you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes led by expert

instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner. Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running.