Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S2 Ep 9: Stacey Dooley
Episode Date: April 11, 2018So it's the SEASON FINALE with Stacey Dooley! And what a guest she was. We’d barely taken the chicken out of the oven and mum was already won over. Stacey has carved out a name for herself that is r...espected amongst the best. A woman with a knack for disarming subjects in the most hostile of situations. We get some tips on squeezing information out of guests, where to eat in Brighton and even the best tactics for shitting in shoeboxes. See you very soon for series 3! Produced by Alice Williams for Cup and Nuzzle Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello and welcome back to Table Manners. We are here, oh we have a little guest today. Do you want
to say hello? You want to say hi? My little girl is waving to you all. We are here sitting in my
sitting room and sipping on some champagne to toast the end of this season. Thank you to everyone
who has listened to us, who's tried to give us a listen if
you this is your first one then go back we've got lots and lots of brilliant episodes for you to
listen to well we think they're quite good but thank you so much it's been so fun so this is
going to be the end of oh i know it's sad isn't it i know you don't want us to go no she's shaking
her head no she doesn't but yeah cheers mum cheers cheers darling
you've done really well thank you darling
i will be touring the states and canada for five weeks and we're going to try and do some
podcasts out there so if you have any suggestions please let me know some may be with my mum because she's
going to be with me in LA but I will be on my own for a few weeks so if you don't mind it just being
me on my own if you've got any suggestions for the east coast I'd love to hear them in fact we'd
love to hear more suggestions for the UK Europe takes around the world I'd really love to interview somebody in Fiji. I've got Tijeralsson Well I thought it would be quite interesting to show you
Who we've got on the podcast
Because I don't know her
Okay are you ready?
I am
Oh my god
She's following hunters Her name is Stacey Dooley.
And from what I know of her, because if I'm being honest,
I hadn't watched any of her programmes until...
So how did you know about
her I had heard this name and I've heard more and more about her in the past year um I believe she's
an award-winning journalist and she is she's a young woman she has been and she's been doing it
for a good five plus years it started from her being on a program
which was one of those like factual entertainment programs about people that consumed quite a lot
they invited a few kind of really big consumers i guess she was buying lots of designer i don't
know we can ask her and they took them to a sweatshop in india yeah and people loved her
she's really likable i've watched a few of her documentaries now, and she's really likeable.
And she's got this kind of very personable, very skillful approach to interviewing people.
She's kind of like the female Louis Theroux, but a bit more like the girl next door.
She's from Luton.
We also have quite a lot of similarities, Mum.
What do you mean?
Well, she started her life as a perfume counter girl, much like me. We both wanted to, I don't
even know if she wanted to be a journalist. I wanted to be a journalist.
Oh, yeah.
She does programmes that I kind of always thought that maybe I was going to want to
do if I'd carried on doing journalism. You know, it's about the people, it's about stories.
And I do like that it's mostly about women and
children i think that's really important and i'm looking forward to meeting her you decided on this
menu don't elaborate a friend made some chicken stuffed with tomatoes parsley and olives and
garlic with crushed roasted potatoes but done in the oven. So you boil them, you crush them.
So they're all fluffy and broken up.
And then you put them in the oven.
With oil.
So they kind of become a bit like a roast potato,
but a fluffy kind of delicious.
Lovely.
I'm going to serve it with green beans and spinach.
And then I, look, the last time I was set the task of cooking
was for George Ezra. And that ended up with Deliveroo.
Yep.
I don't think my dessert is perfect.
What's it called, Jess?
It's called a tiramagu.
And why is that, Jess?
Because I was overzealous and I didn't have an electric whisk and I didn't whisk the stuff enough.
I don't think it matters. The cream and the mascarpone maybe I'd make you know how much I like cream and I maybe put a tad too much cream in
and I'm just not patient however I did taste it just to check and it's pretty delicious so if I
was going to enter MasterChef I think I would have gone through and they would have said you
need to work on your technique and your presentation.
Yeah.
I've been to Barry's Boot Camp today, so I'm going to eat loads.
What was Barry's Boot Camp like?
I nearly threw up.
Why?
I kind of smashed the first round on the treadmill, because you go on the treadmill and then off
the treadmill and do floor stuff and alternate.
I kind of smacked it, because I just kind of wanted to impress this beautiful woman
next to me. And then I was done in in and then you had two more goes on it didn't do so well but
saw about her numbers on her speed and thought well i'm doing more than her so i'm kind of still
smacking it and then after the second round she said oh don't watch my numbers i'm seven months
pregnant and i felt like shit after that.
She looked amazing.
What was she doing at Barry's boot camp?
Looking amazing and keeping fit.
Why was she just eating chocolates and sitting at home?
She's not asked, Mum.
That's the problem.
Yeah.
But anyway, yeah.
So, Stacey Dooley coming up on Table Manners.
coming up on Table Manners.
So, Stacey Dooley, thank you for being here.
Oh girl, thank you for having me.
I have to say, you've commented on my house very kindly. The house is beautiful.
I have to say, I've been looking at your Instagram
and you're doing your flat up, aren't you?
Well, I've sort of turned into one of those bores
that's got nothing better to do
than take pictures of the wall.
Take pictures of the wall,
take pictures of the rugs or furnishings,
anything that's sort of semi-aesthetically pleasing.
I gave it a tin of tuna.
Fuck off.
Once another tin.
Is it your cat?
No, it's my cat.
I'm just so sorry for it and now I'm an idiot.
And now he loves you.
Now he loves me.
Bernie, I've got a dog, Bulldog Bernie.
I'm totally, truly, completely, wholeheartedly obsessed with him.
But he's such a fucking pain in the arse.
How old is he?
Year and a half.
So actually old enough to know, but you know, it sort of shouldn't be shit.
Who's looking after him now?
My boyfriend.
Your boyfriend?
I have to say, we have a few similarities.
Oh girl, tell me.
We both have a Sam. We um we have a few similarities oh girl tell me we both have a sam
we we do both have a sam can i say this is sort of gonna sound semi-stalkerish but i remember
watching a video i don't know whether or not it was on your twitter or insta but i think your
fellow was doing um reviews a review of your album and i thought my god he's really i loved
him for that i thought it was really funny
I don't wear a big gold S
on my neck though
like you do
I know
this is sort of
I know this is
you're betrothed
just in case
I forget my name
I love that name
so you've got a Sam
we've both got Sams
how long have you been going out
ST and I have been together
four years
what do you call him
ST
Sam Tucknott oh st could call mine
sb we could call him sb well my granddad his initials are bj so i don't call him that because
my grandfather and it's totally my my daughter's a jcb so she's fucked too yeah big bulldozer no
just one just one yeah um she's 18 months just like your bernie just like my son
yes exactly uh we also had jobs in on perfumery counters we did i was looking airport i was peter
jones on the men's fragrance sure sure but the men's fragrance i find quite easy because they'll
buy anything it was a saturday job. They will literally buy anything.
I said,
I fancy a guy that wears this
and it sorted me out
and they'd all get it.
Say no more.
Exactly.
Here we go.
We'll have lots of sex
with a pussy of our future.
Exactly.
I also went to
I went to Sussex University
so I know Brighton a bit.
I know Brighton, yeah.
I also wanted to be a journalist.
Stop.
An investigative journalist
I did a diploma and everything
I can get you a job
I mean you're a fantastic established
But if you don't want to be a singer
Well I honestly
That's what I was going to do
No
And my father is an investigative journalist
Really
Yeah on BBC
Stop
Yeah but he
John Ware
He's been lots on Northern Ireland
Oh my god I'm working in Northern
Ireland now this is what we need to talk about this is brilliant please tell us what you're doing
so my story is so this is really really interesting so essentially Northern Ireland's a really
fascinating part of modern Britain you know and there's this kind of shift at the minute I've been
there a couple of times now we're based in Bfast but we're back and forth in dairy and dairy london dairy you have to call it yeah you can't just call it dairy
there is dairy darling so it's called london dairy but the republicans so the are you talking
about london dairy or dairy i'm talking about london dairy but you call it but they call it
dairy so the side we're on we're on the the Catholic side and we've been speaking to some Republicans
and they'll call it Derry.
That's the thing.
Even when you're working out there,
you sort of realise that there's a certain thing.
Things are so delicate in certain areas.
You've got to be so mindful of what you're saying,
who you're saying it to, X, Y, Z.
Anyway, so I've been back and forth.
And there's been a sharp rise in the number of punishment attacks sort of paramilitary style
punishment attacks right so there's lads sort of playing up being a nightmare sort of you know
causing havoc sort of pinching cars dealing weeds uh robbing people sort of asbo behavior
serious behavior you know terrorizing the community whether um but but lots of the
neighbors around that area don't trust or don't feel like the police represent them.
There's no relationship there, no working relationship.
So some people will go to these paramilitary groups
and say, look, it's been a fucking nightmare.
Sorry, my Sam.
Are you all right?
Nice to see you, Sam.
This is Stacey.
How do you do?
She's got a Sam too.
It's a lot shorter.
Stacey wears a big S on her neck.
It's a lot shorter, but a lot shorter But that's for me
Oh yeah shit
I thought it was
Sorry I thought it was
No but if
Yeah if I'm feeling
Sort of extra romantic
It is for Sarah
I forgot your name's Stacey
Sorry carry on
But my nan used to buy me
Tracy hair bands
Because they never had Stacey
You know in Benidorm
That's amazing
Stacey
Tracy
We'll call you Stacey
Tonight Stacey So anyway No it'll call you Stacey tonight.
Stacey.
So, no, it's a really interesting story.
So these neighbours are going to these paramilitary groups
and saying, you've got to sort him out.
And instead of going down the traditional justice route,
the standard justice system,
they're giving them an appointment
and they're saying that you have to be here at four o'clock
and we'll shoot you just above your
kneecap so if you come to the first appointment and you sort of play ball they'll give you a
flesh wound if you don't they'll go through through your kneecaps um and so loads of
kneecapping crazy i mean it's gone on for years it's gone on for decades of course but there's
been this rise again so it's like what on earth is going on? And hold on, this is their mothers telling them that you've got to punish them, is it?
No, so it's like neighbours...
Who get fed up.
Okay, got it, got it.
Yes, exactly right.
But then, what's interesting is the appetite for these paramilitary groups.
You know, you read online and instead of condemning the behaviour,
they were saying, well, he didn't get it to say his prayers at night.
But that's Ireland, isn't it? It's always been the same, it's tribal, it's always
been the same way. Pardon?
Shouldn't we say Northern Ireland, not Ireland? I don't know.
I mean, some people say Northern Ireland, some people say the north of Ireland, depending
on what side you're on.
I remember when I did the radio on Big Weekend, it was in Derry, London Derry, and so you, and they were very adamant
that you had to
acknowledge both,
and so it,
I was like,
hello,
hello,
hello,
hello,
hello,
hello,
hello,
hello,
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hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, I've got so many questions. Partly because this was the job that I wanted to do.
I'm sure you'd have done a much better job.
I sort of fell into this.
It was totally an odd job.
Yeah, please explain.
Because I have to say, my mother hadn't heard of you.
No, you wouldn't have.
No, because I don't watch BBC Three.
No, you're not missing much.
And I'm very underwhelming, actually.
Shut up.
No, you're not.
You're absolutely gorgeous.
I'm completely in love with you now.
I told you this was going to happen.
So who is she?
And now I love you. She did that, love her. She going to happen. So who is she? And now I love you.
She did that.
She did that.
She did.
She went, who is she?
And I said, and forgive me, Stacey,
I had heard your name for a few years.
And maybe I don't watch that much BBC Three.
I don't have that much time to be watching TV.
You're a working mother with a beautiful massive home.
And a chicken to roast.
We can go through some wallpaper colours if you need to.
You know, wall colours.
But I have watched a few of your documentaries now, more than a few.
And I'm crazy about you.
And I'm also so impressed with how you disarm very difficult situations.
And, you know, from what what I gather and please correct me you
didn't I don't know did you want to always be a journalist no you're totally right I'm so kind
Jessie thank you so basically yeah it was it was very unconventional so 10 years ago so when I was
I was 19 I just turned 20 I'm 31 now so 10 years ago I took part in a series called Blood Sweat and T-Shirts so the premise
which production company did that um it was Ricochet okay right no I don't I thought maybe
it would be Love Productions who I I was a PA for the creative director so I thought it was like a
factual entertainment program right that's exactly right so um yeah the premise was really
straightforward it was like they were looking for six consumers who were really into sort of fast, throwaway fashion.
You know, when T-shirts were cut to quids.
Yeah.
That was being glamorised, that scene,
sort of wearing it a couple of times
and then sort of lighting the trail.
I was in Primark on Brighton High Road,
whatever it is.
I don't even know.
Western Road.
Was it Western Road?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was at university in Brighton at that time
and I would have the most awful clothes but I would
get different clothes every week and it would be you know a check shirt for three pounds and I
wasn't thinking about where it was coming from yeah so that was we're pretty similar ages so
tell me what they did yes so so they selected six of us and do you know what to be totally honest
like I was so lucky to even get to that point
because, you know, thousands went through
and they were desperate to be on it.
And they, you know, selected six of us
and sent us off to India to understand the enormity of, you know,
the kind of clothing industry.
Yeah, because did you know that you were going to be kind of embarrassed or not?
Yeah, well, so it was interesting.
So I was at Luton Airport and I'd left school at 15.
I had no GCSE so I didn't
go to college didn't go to uni and I had
no real appetite actually you know
to kind of carve myself out a career
then this
opportunity came along. What do you mean it came
along? So they were handing out flyers
and my mother found the flyer
and I think she was desperate to sort of sort me out
really and it said it was very simple it said
you know do you like fashion do you know, do you like fashion?
Do you like travel?
Do you like telly?
And it was like, yeah, tick, tick, tick.
And so I ring this number, rang the researcher.
And interestingly, now I know how telly works,
I can imagine they were just sort of rubbing their hands in glee when they heard me because I just was totally clueless,
you know, hugely naive,
had no real sort of understanding of the wider world, really.
And I was chosen to go to India.
We went for a month.
And it was, you know, it was very kind of...
So you saw the sweatshops?
Really did.
But we sort of lived, you know, as a worker would.
So we were working sort of 14, 16 hours a day.
We were all shitting ourselves.
Everyone had bugs.
So, you know, we weren't keeping anything down.
We were starving, covered in mozzie bites. just that kind of real life to be honest i need a
bug right anyway carry on um and yeah and then it came from there so i sort of did semi well on that
i suppose and then but can i just ask you semi well she says no you did so well that they gave
her own but what i want to know is did you what are you did your
parents go to university no no so what do your dad and mum do so my father's dead so my father's
not on the scene anymore but my mother um she worked at m&s um and now she works at tk max
right so so no journalists in the family so did she was that was she ambitious for you have you
got brothers and sisters too?
Yeah, so I've got a little sister.
She's a sweetheart.
We're totally opposite ends of the spectrum.
So she's sort of painfully shy, a real sort of academic, real intellect, very bookie,
but a real introvert.
But we've got different fathers.
Okay.
But you just weren't interested in studying?
No, it was weird, Matt.
Like, I enjoyed school, but I just, you know, when it started when you're sort of 15, you
just sort of, I thought I knew it all and I had no desire to kind of push on or kind
of dream big.
And that wasn't, you know, my mother always said, you know, you've got to do your absolute
best and sort of, you know, you want to sort of go elsewhere and you want to travel and
you want to... We were privileged to we were lucky yeah you know they went to private school for secondary
school my dad was a really established journalist for the BBC and it was you know quite lucrative
I think and you know you worked so hard so I got the work ethic from you and whatnot but like
but so you started you you how did it feel when you got that first series were
you petrified or you were bang up for it do you know what I think I'm delighted it worked out how
it did because I didn't know anything I was I was I was so ignorant I didn't understand the tv world
and what it involved and so I think I went into it with no real expectations and I think that's the
best way to be because then whatever happens is a bonus so I got my own series off the back of
blood sweat and it's I think it's easy to shine when you're in a group but it's less hard to carry
a series on your own yeah um sorry it's it's more difficult um but they did well they rated
consistently well weirdly and it was so well that you've been doing
it for 10 years now but some people hated me some people despised me they couldn't understand
you know I had the audacity to sort of turn up in this very middle class middle-aged established
sort of traditional journalist world what the fuck is she doing here and other people oh my
god she's like a breath of fresh air so So, you know, there were mixed reviews.
Have they ever invited you on Panorama?
Yeah.
Yeah, because sometimes they invite guest people on
to present something that they would see.
Yeah.
So you've done a Panorama?
So I've spoken, yeah, I've done a couple of bits for one,
Current Affairs, Newsnight, Radio 4,
them kind of, you know, long-term, current affairs-y.
How does it feel being kind of the voice of the people?
I hope you don't mind, you're kind of the girl next door.
The working class hero.
A female voice, a really, you know, and to be, did you find Newsnight and Radio 4 intimidating?
Yeah.
Or was it?
You find it daunting, don't you?
I think, you know, it's just not, it just wasn't.
I mean, it is now, but it wasn't my world.
And so you do feel like you've got to prove yourself all of the time, you know?
And I think that's fair enough at the start of your career
because, you know, you haven't been around for ages and ages
and you do need to learn.
But I think that goes with anything you do.
You know, when you work in a shop, you don't know how the till works.
You don't know where the stock is.
You know, you don't know how to sort of work alongside.
Yeah.
But I suppose in the old days, the BBC was established on people who went to public school.
For sure.
And Oxford and Cambridge.
And it's still very much, it's still like that, to be honest.
It's still a bit like that.
It is very.
And they're now trying, and it's mostly men.
Yeah, it is.
And they all wear beige chinos.
I mean, I've got beige.
I mean, you do have beige.
I've got beige flares on today, so I can't really give it.
But it's the real uniforms.
There are many women.
There are hardly any women journalists.
Do you know, I think it is improving slowly, slowly.
So the BBC One controller, Charlotte, she's a woman, and she's brilliant.
The head of current affairs, she's a woman.
There's lots of women working now on news night there's
lots of um women quite high up in bbc3 so i think slowly we're getting there but it's very white
it's still very white and it's still fucking count not sorry is he in the house no piss off
me with jesse shut my window yeah i can hear him but i can't see him yeah
you've had the can I can hear him but I can't see him. Yeah. I gave you the tune of Fuck Off.
You've had the can.
From what I gather of you, you like to...
You focus a lot on child issues and young people's issues
and especially female.
Yes.
Kind of, you know, female issues and you have a book.
I do, yeah.
Women on the front line
yeah yeah it's I never ever ever and just honestly I never thought I would write a book like you know
that it feels so enormous and you're sort of back and forth up and down a couple of times over the
years will we won't we should we you know what have we got to say so it felt you know I've been
doing it for the decades it felt like a bit of a kind of moment and it felt like actually maybe we should just sort of stop you know take a minute and
reflect on the girls that we've met over the past 10 years because they have been utterly remarkable
i can't tell you like i'm so varied you know girls in honduras yes i watched that i mean All women with her amputee taited. That's what I'm saying. Imagine having... And so...
Still so considered and so tactile and so kind and so brilliant.
And, you know, she had her leg hacked off a month prior to meeting him.
But I helped her because she said,
why don't you leave me if you don't want...
Or why don't you let me leave, she said.
Yeah, yeah.
And he wasn't going to let her.
Mum, both her feet and her legs were cut
off and he wasn't going to be was he in prison but he was going to get let out two years later
a couple of years they were looking for gbh i think um it's just insane like honduras we were
there because um the femicide right i mean it was they were hemorrhaging women and we didn't
understand why you know there are hostile places all over the world why honduras specifically and
met this girl heidi and
um i was just it was just it was just painfully sad it's so depressing he attacked both her legs
off you gotta remember right you know if you shoot someone i think that's a moment of absolute
madness and you know a huge mistake but it's the it's the pulling of the trigger isn't it it takes
a couple of seconds i think if you're gonna hack through
that's angry i mean that would take that would take a long time you know it's like all those
honor killings isn't it and also i i came back from bangladesh i don't know if you're doing
anything about the crisis but but i mean that's what they're doing they're macheting children
women men um and that exactly what you say.
It takes a while for you to get through a bone.
You've been all over the world, Japan, Honduras, Congo.
You've heard so many horrific stories.
Is there a point... I mean, I saw what she, I mean, I haven't watched all of them.
But I saw you get really upset with the leader of the anti-abortion camp, Jeff.
Yes, Jeff.
You really liked him.
You really liked him.
He was likeable.
His daughter was lovely.
But you got really frustrated.
Yes.
And angry at him and you started crying.
Yes.
And, you know, just from my experience of going into
the camps when i've been to these refugee camps in macedonia and bangladesh and um where else did
i go cameroon but um i i'm a i'm awful i start crying all the time and then and then you i don't
know if you get this thing where you're like oh my god I should I should I should either I feel
like a dickhead crying it's not about me yeah I know or have I become desensitized this because
I'm not crying yeah you must have so many stories you're so so on the money and and you know what
to be honest with you can't win because at the start of my career you know I was really inexperienced
and I just was so just very simply I was so gutted for these people because their
circumstances were so depressing and so harrowing and like felt really helpless it was like what
realistic what on earth can we do like this feels so enormous my god and you would just be you know
in bits you'd just be crying all the while but then you'd be like fuck this isn't this isn't my
time like this is you know this is about giving her the platform and you can't breathe you know you can't get your words out because you're so moved and then
when you hold it together and when you think you know what i've got to make sure that i've got this
really clear and it's concise and the pieces to camera make sense and you're not crying you think
don't turn into a hard bastard like don't you know don't lose sight of the fact that this is their reality
oh so here I know that feeling it's like didn't you want to punch them in the face see I'd go
around I'm such an angry person I'd go around and whack them one there and that's why you don't have
series after series and uh good job but I would actually want to hit them sometimes you know I
just say fuck you who are you to stop someone and they wouldn, sometimes, you know. I'd just say, fuck you.
Who are you to stop someone? And then they wouldn't talk to you, Mum.
I mean, we've got lots more to talk about.
Yes.
But I do want to ask you something.
Me or Stacey?
I do have a platter.
And I'll cut the chicken up.
Do you think Stacey cares about a platter?
No, but that's how you have to do it.
Okay, fine.
And you put all the stuff on the top.
I'm very used to being served things on a platter.
So if we could keep that up.
No, okay. Luton, we're always eating a platter. So if we could keep that up.
We're always eating on a platter.
A big slate then.
Yeah, I've got loads. I've got loads.
No, only silver.
Sorry.
No, sorry.
Ceramic.
But mum,
we are going to talk a bit about food.
Yes.
No, brilliant.
This is supposed to be a food podcast,
but I do have so many questions.
I die for food.
Really?
I'm a massive, I mean, do you know what? I'm i'm not particularly fussy i think i travel so much i'll eat anything
right except one time when i was in the ivory coast um they said would you like some chicken
i said yeah i'll have some chicken and then i promise you it's a true story i saw them stuffing
dynamite down the ground you're joking i'm I thought, I'm not getting fucking chicken, I'm getting rat.
And about four and a half hours later, this kind of, this meat came out.
And, you know, they didn't have anything,
so you're sort of delighted that they've kind of, you know, included you.
So I think I ate rat.
How did it taste?
I know everyone says this, but it was just like chicken.
That's good to know.
If you have a skin or we've got no chicken, we could just go to London Town.
I mean, amazing.
Whilst mum sorts out the chicken.
Just tell me where we're at.
We're boiling the green beans and we're sautéing the spinach.
When do you want to eat?
I want to eat now.
I'm starving. I'm hella hungry. I? I want to eat now. I'm starving.
I'm heading on green. And I've drunk three glasses of champagne.
I'm going to be like hilarious spicy.
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so you say you're a massive food you love food i love eating when you say you love food are you
would you call yourself a foodie do you like to eat out do you like to cook like what's you know
i'm a shit cook i'm a useless cook so yeah really very helpful. That's why I haven't offered to help because I will burn your home down to the ground.
So I eat out quite a lot.
But I suppose that's because I'm quite lazy
and I've never got any food in the house.
I never do a shop.
So I should do more of that.
But yeah, there's nothing I don't eat.
So where do you eat out?
Like Brighton?
Where's the spots that you like?
So there's a really nice restaurant called Ridland Finn's.
It wasn't there when I was at uni, I don't think. Really lovely. the seaside there's one in the lanes there was a guy who was in the lanes that was a bit arsey and it was a bit
kind of felt a bit kind of clicky but i think he's gone so perfect now it's perfect everyone
please go to the lanes there's another lovely um Italian called, I think it's called Chin Chin.
C-I-N-C-I-N.
Where's that?
Sin Sin or Chin Chin.
I don't know.
That's embarrassing.
Chin Chin.
That's lovely.
That's in the lanes as well.
Okay.
I used to eat quite a lot of hippie food.
It was a lot of hummus and grains when I was there.
There's a lot of quinoa.
Yeah.
Is it quinoa?
Quinoa, quinoa, potato, potato, whatever you want, Stacey.
Quinoa.
It's very, very very earth wind and fire i sort of don't mind that every now and then but i do love meat so there are a couple of places they're
sort of vegetarian heavy so it's not just sam does sam cook no so sam and i basically live off
delivery yeah we sort of and it's great i know but he will because if he's cooking
he'll cook like a chicken a sweet potato and a bit of broccoli which is fine if i can cook
if you're training i mean yeah i mean he's super fit he's super super fit but not annoyingly so
he's not sort of like muscles like don't eat any shit you know he does he also loves cocoa pops
he's got this thing where like whatever no matter how full we are or what we've eaten or if we've had dinner he always eats cereal
straight after please help yourself thank you right so we've got chicken with parsley and black
olives and beef tomatoes roasted with lemon and garlic and then we've got kind of bashed up new potatoes over there that have
been kind of roasted then we've got over no underdone green beans and some spinach i'll just
help myself i feel like it was the first day of no please that's the best the first day of spring
really today it felt like didn't it it's 15 degrees gorgeous Gorgeous. Death row meal. Come on then. Okay.
Probably, I mean, I'm so good at making a roast dinner.
My timings are like A1 spot on.
Oh, really?
Yeah, man. Any tips?
You know you're meant to, well, you probably know because we're eating the roast now, but
you're meant to bash the roast potatoes.
You know that after you've boiled them.
And then like throw garlic all over them.
What's that herb rosemary
yes i'm very nigella lawson when it comes to a roast do you like chicken the best um i love
chicken and i also love beef but i don't like it when it's fatty me neither i'm not into that i
think i'll end up cutting off it off so roast dinner would probably be my first choice if that wasn't available.
I really like Vietnamese.
Yeah, I do too.
Do you get that a lot in Russia? You know you're supposed to call pho pho.
Pho.
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
You sound like a dickhead.
Can I have some pho?
This is it.
As if you're going to say to the girls,
should we go and get some pho?
I know.
So on all your trips, where do you think the best food is?
Japan.
I love Japan.
Have you been to Japan?
Yeah, I went on my honeymoon.
Did you?
Loved it.
Did you go to Tokyo?
Yeah.
Actually, that programme, the police got involved, didn't they?
Yeah, they did.
They kept me for a couple of hours.
So, that was my own fault, I think.
I think I'd got too complacent.
So, I had just come back from Iraq
um and then I went off to Japan to make a documentary about uh the obsession with youth
over there I suppose in some circumstances and to give some examples Stacey because not everyone
knows no superheroes are race piss there and stuff like that so it's interesting it's just
so interesting Japan is like this kind of there's this saying piss there and stuff like that. So it's interesting. It's just so interesting.
Japan is like this kind of, there's this saying.
This is a good example.
So there's this saying in Japan that no one wants Christmas cake, right?
So after the 25th, no one wants Christmas cake.
So basically, once you're over 25, you're not particularly attractive.
You know, you're not particularly sexual.
You know, there's this.
Why does Christmas cake come into that? I think because it's the 25th of december oh sorry right got it it's about being over i thought it was because like the cake the christmas cake takes a while it's a bit old isn't
it and fruity but carry on um so there is just this you know not not everyone obviously but
there is this obsession with youth and it's like the younger you are the more kind of attractive you are and not in a cute
way in a in a sexual way and so there are lots of kids working in these bars that are like
serving these grown men drinks and they're talking about fucking weird shit like sex and you know
kind of anal and it's just very very peculiar it's really bizarre so anyway i went over there made documentary about about this the sexualization of children and this gang got involved they sort
of saw that we were filming some of their girls and you know sort of kicked off massively started
pushing me started pushing my director my director's a dream joy she's a palomar and
she was shooting they sort of smash a camera back you know push joyce push me and then
sometimes you can feel when it's sort of empty it camera back you know push Joyce push me and then sometimes you can feel
when it's sort of empty
it's like empty threats
but this felt
like particularly hostile
I thought
it's going to kick off
they rang the police
they must have had
a relationship with them
an existing relationship
the police came in
seconds
and like sort of
instead of sort of
shouting at them
for kind of
manhandling us
they were like
give us
yeah give us
a sort of
stop for two hours
that's crazy
because in Japan
they're very
it's all about respect I know tradition no crazy because in Japan they're very respectful.
It's all about respect.
I know.
And kind of tradition.
I've seen what they're selling vending machines.
I know.
Dirty knickers of schoolgirls.
It's just very foreign to us.
Do you feel like you have a real social responsibility now?
And that you've adopted as you've kind of learnt more about the world?
Do you just feel like like because there's only so
many battles you can fight and you know you're doing an amazing job at telling the stories
I think you're so right like I feel like you have to be realistic like I'm under no illusion that
I'm going to kind of you know swoop in and you know make everything right and you know you can't
be that kind of earnest like finger waggy kindgy kind of martyr, because it's not realistic.
What you've got to do is work really hard and work on stories that you really feel passionately about, and then just try and raise a little bit of awareness. And I think that's something
to be hugely proud of.
This food's amazing. Thank you.
I like how you cook it.
Thank you, Stacey.
Is this you?
I do.
I'm not going to lie. It's amazing, thank you. I like how you cook it. Thank you, Stacey. Is this you? I do. I'm not going to lie.
I mean, it's definitely better than what we're going to have for dessert,
so I'm really happy.
What's your dessert?
It's called tiramisu, because it didn't really set,
but it still tastes exactly like a tiramisu.
My boyfriend calls me Stacey Hoolie.
Stacey Hoolie?
When they say, oh, it's really nice to meet you, you say, oh, Stacy Hoolie.
Oh.
Who are you?
Tiramagu.
I want to know,
because, you know,
we're doing a podcast.
Yes, we are.
We like to take it beyond food.
Yes.
And you do have a knack
of being able to get
the answers out of people.
And I know,
do you think it's just,
is there a talent with can
you can you give me any tips basically of getting um information out of people yes i think this has
worked for me a couple of times i think there has to be a respect of what they've done or who they
are or you know where they're coming from i think there has to be a certain level of respect you know because you're sort of
you're throwing yourself into their world and you might sort of fiercely disagree sort of fundamentally
disagree you know you have barely anything in common but they have given you the time
to talk to you and so i think you have to just you can't go in sort of shouting and balling and
i've learned that because i did at the start. I was so opinionated.
And it's great to have opinions
and it's great to sort of, you know,
stand true to, you know,
stand to what you believe in the rest of it.
But you've got to let the other person speak.
And you can't understand where they're coming from
if you don't give them that platform.
So I think it's just very calm, you know,
very kind of chilled,
sort of very neutral at the start.
And I think when you've got to ask tricky questions,
I'm quite tactile.
So if I've got to sort of go in with a real blower I sort of just touch the elbow you are quite tactile you do you've touched my shoulder quite a few times what do you want from
me what do you want I've already fed you um yeah but I love I love my job do you think but do you
think it helps that you're a woman and I don't want to maybe do you think it helps
that you're a woman
I think in some situations
it does
I think it can either
help or hinder
it depends where you are
I think in some countries
where it's real
sort of male dominated
and there's sort of
a real lack of respect
for women
they don't take you seriously
and they'll talk through
your male director
but there are other situations
where I look like
a scruffy
20 year old student
and they're like
realistic what's she going to do?
So they guard down and they talk in a way that perhaps they wouldn't
if I stood there 50 years old with white hair and a navy suit.
So I do think it swings and roundabouts, I think, in some situations.
I also, you know, you're going into these conflict zones
and you talked about wanting a family and you know how do you
feel like that works with your job that's a really good question I feel like at the minute I'm
I'm more willing to put myself in dangerous situations because I haven't I haven't got
babies and you know it would be devastating
if anything happens but you know at the minute I'm just my own woman I think when I do if I'm
lucky enough I mean you just assume that you can have them if I'm lucky enough to have babies
I don't think I will yeah I still want to show my baby that I'm strong and I'm you know principles
and I and mum work you know mums have to work I still will definitely work
but I'll be more selective
in terms of where I go
because yeah
you can't leave them
can you
to sort of
fend for themselves
so we've heard about
the dynamite rat
the rat
you've been all around the world
Japan's been your favourite food
any more food stories
interesting food stories
I mean India you've been to india yes foods
in india is beautiful but it doesn't matter how many times i'll go i've probably been
certainly four or five times still got diarrhea i'm so ill i can't keep it down and there was a
really embarrassing time you know i was really really poorly i've also got this, I mean, I shouldn't say this, but I've also got this issue where...
Is it about your bowels?
If I need to talk, yeah.
Yeah, I love this.
Please, I love talking about poo.
So if I eat something...
Yeah, and you want to go straight away.
Well, if I need to go, I need...
Me too.
...to go.
I'm excited.
And I've been caught short a couple of times, like, abroad.
So I've eaten really amazing foods.
You know, it's like, you sort of, I want to eat what the locals eat.
Because I'm so cultural.
And I'm so, you know, I've got my finger on the pole, so I'm here and I want to eat.
Anyway, so I go for it showing off, eat, eat, eat.
Yeah.
And then I nearly need a shit.
Yeah.
And I've, a couple of times, like, in India, like, kind of on the street, like, and this
beautiful little Indian woman sort of holding my hair.
And I was being sick everywhere. Oh, my God. Were you shitting at the Indian woman sort of holding my hair and I was being sick everywhere
and it was like,
I had a sci-fi fringe.
Were you shitting at the same time?
I was shitting,
I was being sick everywhere.
Mate.
Then,
That's a shocker.
Listen to this,
when I was in,
when,
when I was in Thailand,
Joyce,
my director,
she directed that as well,
I said,
Joyce,
I'm fucking desperate for the toilet.
I'd eaten,
I'd eaten like an insect
off a stick or whatever,
you know, in the markets. why? Are you mad? I know, it's so silly. I'm like, yeah, I'm fucking desperate for the toilet. I'd eaten, I think I'd eaten like an insect off a stick or whatever. You know, in the markets.
Oh my God, why?
Are you mad?
I know, it's so silly.
I'm like, yeah, I like a glutton for punishment.
I just have a bad time, babe.
I know.
Why can't you have mango sticky rice like everyone else?
So I'd eaten, yeah, I'd been shown off the market.
A few minutes.
And then I said, Joyce, I really, really need the toilet.
I'm desperate.
She says, we can't stop here.
You know them freeways in Bangkok, they've got like 800 lanes. I can desperate. She says, we can't stop here. We're on like, you know them freeways in Bangkok,
they've got like 800 lanes.
I can't stop anywhere.
So I couldn't stop.
And it was, traffic was mental.
And I thought, and my friend Mabeen,
who's a guy, we were in this big van.
I said, oh look, I need the toilet.
And we had an ice box.
You have to do it.
You know, where you keep the water and the cans.
And I just said, look, can you all put the music on really loud and just and the cans and i just said look can you all put
the music on really loud and just put the windows down and just don't ever talk about it i took all
the cans of drink out of the ice bucket of our ice box down the ice box and shit all in the ice box
i mean i just can't what would you do and then i had the ice box i had this ice box full of shit
and i was just sitting in the car with the icebox with shit on my lap
because I couldn't throw it out, you know, I was on the freeway.
And then I had to wait until we got to the hotel and empty it down the train.
Mate, I respect that.
I thought pissing in a bottle in the back of a splitter was impressive,
but no, that is far more impressive.
Shit in an icebox.
My aim was good in a bottle in the back of a splitter bag.
But it's so hard.
Can I, my husband put poo in the back of a splitter bag. But it's so hard.
My husband put poo in the fridge this week.
A stool sample.
Oh, Jessie, stop it. No, here's his shit.
Yes, do it.
In my fridge when he's got a bug.
He's talking about having a parasite from Goa.
He has not got a parasite from Goa.
And he's putting shit when I've got Stacey Dooney coming over.
Jessie, we've got Stacey fucking Dooney coming round.
So if you have a dicky dummy, blame my husband.
I know who to blame.
Yeah.
Sam too.
The thing is with, I never learn.
It's like, I've just got bad, I've just got bad tummy.
Because it happens again.
I mean, you would think once in your lifetime that would be enough, right?
Shooting in a car in a box.
When I was driving from Vegas to LA to la sound really high end but you know
with work we um and actually it was st and i would sort of really going for it we'd rented
personal training boyfriend yeah just so we know um and and i had bought a pair of fancy shoes like
philip limb heels um because they were half price in this um boutique in
die for a bargain it's not what you spend it's what you save as my mum said it's true you've
got to select them pieces wisely so i bought these shoes really felt the part and i'd kept
them in the box because you know the box was lovely and let's be honest it's all about the
the packaging so the roof was down the music was on sort of repping the uk listening to our grime showing
off in my sunglasses approaching la on the freeway and i need a ship so i said to sam
i really i really told it's just a so you're not a child like we'll literally be there in
half an hour people don't understand when you've got a bad term that's what i'm saying i said i
said sam look i don't want to kick off.
I don't want to have a row on the freeway going into LA,
but I really, really need a dump.
Like, we're going to have to stop.
It's a stay, so I can't go anywhere.
So I got the Philip Lim box, the Philip Lim.
Oh, no.
I got the shoes.
And I said, can you put the roof up, please?
I need some privacy.
He said, you're outrageous.
He said, I'm not going to be able please? I need some privacy. He said, you're outrageous.
He said, I'm not going to be able to have sex with you for a very long time if I have to watch you shit in that box.
I love that your colleagues, you were like,
put the windows down, please.
Never talk about it.
And you're like, put the roof up,
like hot boxes, fucking vehicle.
I said, put the roof up.
I said, put the windows down, put the roof up.
He should have stopped.
He should have stopped.
Yeah.
He said there was nowhere to stop
Oh he could have stopped somewhere
I'm with you girl
But anyway so I shit in the Philip Lim box
And Sam was totally mortified
And he was right we didn't have sex for a few days
Because he probably couldn't look at me
That's alright
No you're right
But yeah what about that
And there was sort of like an awkward silence
for the next
four to six hours
because I was just
so mortified
I'm so sorry
I'm the only one
that's late
no it's fine
I've got my pudding
there
I've got my pudding
I feel like maybe
Stacey Dooley
may be rivaling
Ed Sheeran
on the helpings
if we're talking
about fork falls
I mean
how's a tiramisu
gonna go down now
then
I'm ready
should we do the pud
yeah let's do the pud
okay
I mean we can carry on
with the chicken
I'm so happy
you're enjoying it
your husband's upstairs
and he hasn't eaten
ah fuck it
yeah
he can have the gnocchi
that the kid had
he has potatoes
this is brilliant.
It definitely isn't set, by the way,
but it tastes really good.
Oh my God, it's so lovely.
Are you at Latitude?
Yeah, I am.
Please talk about this.
I'm going to try and be quiet.
Are you there?
We're doing a live podcast.
We're doing the podcast.
We should have saved it for that.
Well, I can come watch you.
We can watch you headlining your tent. We can watch each other. We can cheer on you We can watch you headlining your tent
We can watch each other
We can cheer on
I have been to one festival in my life
And I thought I was going to have another breakdown
Part life
And the smell of the
Shit and the mud
It's a bit overwhelming
It's a smell that you'll never forget
That combination
This is definitely not set I can feel a bit overwhelming. It's a smell that you'll never forget, that combination. Okay, listen.
This is definitely not set. I'm having such a nice time.
You're good.
I'm having such a nice time.
Now, I'm going to try and make this work for you.
That one's a bit...
Look.
Well, that works a little bit, but I am going to give you a bit of goo as well.
Yeah, no, you must.
So, you made this from scratch here yourself?
I did.
I made it yesterday.
Have you always been into cooking?
I've been into eating. Yeah, me too. here yourself. I did. I made it yesterday. Have you always been into cooking?
I've been into eating.
Yeah.
Me too.
Thank you. It's been a pleasure.
And I...
Yeah, I love it.
I love to eat.
I had to cook.
My mum's always been a great cook, so...
You have?
Yeah.
What's your dish?
I can cook anything, really.
Really?
Yeah.
Do you know my issue with cooking?
I get the genres mixed up, like the cuisines.
So when I go to buy the ingredients,
I buy Italian ingredients and Japanese ingredients and French.
Nothing matches.
How do you get mixed up?
I panic.
Well, can you give me an example?
Yeah, so I go into the supermarket and I stand there and I think,
right, let me just get myself together let me just let me just cook one meal like the 31 year old woman i
am and i get a couple of bits and then i i just don't know what matches i don't know what goes
with what so like i would make like a japanese taco or something what about like just following
a recipe but not in a trendy fusion way like not in a naff way. Not pan-Asian. What about following a recipe?
Will I?
Yeah.
That could help you.
If only there was a cookbook out that I could get.
Well, you know you really enjoy...
But I would.
I could do with something like that.
Yeah, like a really easy, basic, straightforward book.
Because I also feel like they buy me these books and they say they're really easy, but
they're not easy.
We've got, okay, we've got tiramisu here but you can't fault me on the flavour.
Brilliant. What's in it? Coffee.
So it's an Italian pudding. Have you ever had tiramisu?
I did go out with an Italian boy years ago and had a tiramisu.
Okay so this is...
But yours is better.
Jessie what's the hard chocolate on it? The hard chocolate is melted chocolate that I...
Why are you laughing? Do you cook every night when you're at home?
Well I did and it's quite nice. I love it.
Why is that not nice having a bit of bites? No it's not normal.
Well... It's working for me. Maybe...
Yeah piss off mum. Maybe it's because I put it in the fridge and it's
set I don't know but it's quite delicious do you have any manners and
other people that you can't stand around the dinner table yeah I do actually I
don't like it oh god maybe I've done that no you haven't I don't know whether I do it or not
you're such a together woman you've eaten a part and you've eaten tiny portions
yeah
that's me all round
tiny portion woman
but I'm not massively into that
and I hate it when
Steve farts after dinner
oh he farts after dinner
what is that like the sign of a good meal
I think he'll have you believe that
get out
well you can shit in the back of the convertible then.
I'm sorry.
Don't try and outdo me.
Stacey Dooley, it has been
the biggest pleasure having you.
Oh, I've had such a lovely time. I really mean that.
I don't want you to go back to Brighton.
I could live here. You could. I could move in.
You could. I could live under this beautiful
huge table eat the scraps
I'll give you a room
I've been very happy
to have you
you've been
the most wonderful guest
please everyone
watch Stacey
I feel like
my listeners
already watch your stuff
but you're a joy
and a brilliant journalist
and I respect you
so much
and thank you so much
for taking a chance
on me and my mother
because I adore you
I mean
you're my girl
till the end now.
We can hang out in Latitude.
I didn't even know who you were before.
We could go to a silent disco at Latitude with my mum.
I'm dead.
We could go to a silent disco.
Thanks, Stacey.
Thank you.
Mum, I'm sorry.
I didn't know who the girl was before,
but I know who the girl is now.
And I loved her.
And she called me girl all the time as well.
Girl.
Girl.
She's absolutely gorgeous.
I really, really liked her. She was so intelligent, so clever, so committed and interesting.
She was a real woman's woman as well.
Yeah.
Yeah. Without banging the feminist drum.
It's got to be one of my favourite conversations over the dinner table.
And my favourite was that she was sticking her fork in that platter.
Yeah.
Going for, I'd say, I watched her stick it in five times.
Does that mean that she is now in the lead for helping?
I don't think she's on the leaderboard,
because it wasn't greed.
It was just sheer enjoyment of the food.
And she felt really comfortable with us.
She felt at home.
I think she did.
I don't know.
Did she?
She did try and dooly us, though, man.
What do you mean?
She kept on being like,
no, no, but tell me about you.
Well.
Amol and her have done this.
Well, they're broadcasters. I know.
But so are we, mum.
Apparently. Yeah.
Jessie, you kept on thinking she had
the S round her neck for her boyfriend.
I thought it was for Sam.
She said the outset is to remind me who I am
in case I forget.
Yeah, I didn't hear that.
Okay.
I thought it was for ST.
But she still wears an Alice band with Tracy on.
I love that.
From Benidorm.
I love that.
So it's fine.
I know my tiramisu went to go,
but the flavour was all there.
I don't know what you can do.
Your tiramisu went to go. I don't know what you can do. Your terracotta went to goop.
Yeah, something like that.
That is the end of this series of Table Manners.
How many have we done, darling?
We've done more than the first one.
God.
I know.
Are you knackered?
Yep.
We've cooked for a lot of people.
We're ready for the festivals now, darling.
You have enjoyed this.
Please subscribe.
We are going to leave you for a while,
but we have plenty of previous episodes that you can listen to.
And please star us.
And again, I don't know.
Five star.
Five star.
Uber, mum, how you doing?
I've gone up.
I've gone now up to 5, 4.8.
Shit.
Yeah.
I'm going to be a Five Star person soon.
Okay, well, I haven't.
4.8, darling.
I wonder if it's because I cancelled quite a few because I don't have the patience.
No, I think it's because I've decided to chat to all the Uber drivers about their lives.
Now that you're a broadcaster.
Now I'm a broadcaster.
We have some really exciting guests lined up for the next series.
I mean, some pretty important figures.
Can you give us a clue?
It rhymes with oblique.
Okay, that's very oblique.
And yeah, so we've got a statesman.
We've got a cook, a chef.
Yeah, some pop dance royalty.
We've got grime.
We've got grime.
That's all I'm into, Jess.
Grime, just like Stacey.
Yeah, me and Stace.
me and stace cheers for listening thank you for indulging us in this ridiculous idea that has now become somewhat of a job um but the best job we've got so yeah we are loving this thank you so much
and stay tuned for season three coming as soon as we have time to feed people.
Bubba, are you going to sing into the mic?
The heavy breathing.
Can you sing into the mic?
She sounds like a dirty phone call.
She's going to sing for you.
Go.
You can't just...
Yeah.
Can you go Okay
You're just eating the mic
Okay bye goodnight
The music on the show was created by Peter Duffy
and Pete Fraser
Table Manners was produced by Cup and Nuzzle
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