Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware - S9 Ep 3: David Schwimmer
Episode Date: February 19, 2020When David Schwimmer needs you to come to a hotel for a food chat you run there!!We talk to our global friend about Gouda, his magic themed barmitzvah, Jewish delis, caccio e pepe, NY & the UK, hi...s new Sky One show 'Intelligence', Bake off, coffee, his theatre company in Chicago...and then there's that chat about Dr Alex's dry banana bread. This is a golden episode and we love you David.You can watch Intelligence on Sky One & streaming service Now TV. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hello and welcome to Table Manners.
Why are we whispering?
Because they're doing a press chat next door.
They won't be able to hear us talking.
Maybe they can.
No, but this is a bedroom, so they're insulated.
Okay, anyway, we are at the Soho Hotel for lunch.
We haven't done this before.
We are getting room service because we are at a hotel.
However, we have bought a little offering of Alex's banana bread.
That he made last night.
That Alex made last night.
After saving lives.
Yeah.
Thank you, Dr. Alex.
And he's not in the best frame of mind.
What do you mean?
Because of giving up smoking.
Oh, yeah.
He was ferociously eating those chocolates last night.
I know.
He said all the pleasure in his life has gone.
That's very sad. So I told him to make banana bread. I don't think that gave him pleasure in his life is gone. That's very sad.
So I told him to make a banana bread.
I don't think that gave him pleasure.
No, I don't think so either.
We have David Schwimmer doing the podcast today.
Jessie, will you stop whispering?
Mum, I'm trying to be respectful of the fact that they're doing a press junket next door.
Can you hurry up because I want to cough?
David Schwimmer is in town to promote his new Sky show called Intelligence,
which he's one of the producers on and also stars in it with Nick Muhammad,
which is about a CIA agent coming and working with MI5.
They're not called MI5, though.
They're called like GGB something.
GCHQ.
Yeah.
Is that an actual thing?
Yeah.
GCHQ is the central intelligence.
It's intelligence. It's not spying.
So they listen in on things and they hack into computers and things like that.
So he's here doing a load of press.
We're lucky he's fitted us in.
Absolutely.
But yeah, I hope we can learn all about David Schwimmer and food.
I'm not going to bring up the holiday armadillo. I'm not going to bring up the holiday armadillo.
I'm not going to bring up the Moistmaker turkey sandwich.
I'm just going to get it out now in the intro.
I'm just going to get it out there.
I want to hear about his bar mitzvah menu.
Yeah.
Obviously, the tough questions are going to be asked by Lenny.
Yeah.
David Schwimmer coming up on Table Manners.
David Schwimmer, welcome to Table Manners.
Thank you. I hear you're a massive foodie.
So what does a day in New York look like for you with food?
My day would start with making coffee first.
I like to grind my own beans in the morning and do French press.
Mum's kind of sounded a bit
dodged just then it's because my husband has about 10 000 different coffee paraphernalia and i'm
living with my mom at the moment so like she's rolling my son the grinding coffee things grind
yeah yeah driving you every morning oh right and the french press and there's a vietnamese thing
that we got and he bought a new thing back from the States last week.
I told him to hide it from you.
I'm not that bonkers with it.
I just have my ritual, my routine, as does everyone, I think, with their morning.
And what sort of coffee?
Well, right now I'm into this place called Gasoline Alley, which has their own blend.
And it's, I think they work with Intelligentsia.
Oh, yeah, lovely.
But it's, yeah, so it's just, I like a medium roast usually.
And, you know, so I'll go by the store, I'll buy a few bags every couple of days.
So is coffee?
Coffee in the morning and then my go-to breakfast would usually be either I'll make,
I really like a good porridge, but it takes a while.
So I'll use McCann's Irish oatmeal, which takes quite a bit of time.
And then I'll chop up a bunch of the fruit that I like.
I'll put like fresh apples and maybe I'll bang up some almonds, some roasted almonds.
I'll bang those up.
I'll put other fruit or I'll make a fruit compote out of i'll just
throw a bunch of berry mixed berries and some dried fruit i'll cut up some dates and prunes
and apricots and into your compote yeah i'll just i'll boil it down with some uh some water um and
it's it's incredible you know no added sugar the fruit is plenty plenty sweet um so i'll do that
are you healthy you sound like you're quite pretty healthy yeah and then i'll or my go-to breakfast will be something really
simple like toast with fresh almond butter or fresh peanut butter and blueberries on top that's
the best thing about whole foods um they have they're not butters that you can just do i buy
it every week from whole foods and you just do you need eat drink normal milk yeah i'll do i don't mind other milk
i don't mind almond milk and oat milk but i i drink usually i drink normal milk i'm a regular
not normal but you say it's real hard-hitting questions we're asking here it's really stressful
but my other go-to breakfast it's either one of those or i'll do avocado you know like my own
mashed avocado on toast with olive oil, lemon juice, salt, pepper.
So you cook? Like you're one of the rare New Yorkers that actually kind of cook.
You know, I'll do mostly breakfast.
I like to eat out.
I do.
Or sometimes order in.
But I also have a daughter, so I'll make stuff or, you know, I'll make, obviously make breakfast for her every day.
Or dinner with her,
lunch she has at school.
So I cook a bit, but I'm not a brilliant cooker.
And where do you go out to eat in the evenings?
Everywhere.
Everywhere.
Yeah, I do everything.
I mean, I could, you know.
Are there some spots like some of your daughter's favorites?
She likes this restaurant called Vic's, which I like a lot too um it's on great jones in downtown and it's
she likes the pasta there and the salad she's vegetarian self-declared vegetarian when did
that happen uh when she was five oh wow four or five yeah she just said, I'm a vegetarian. Was it from a film or a book? I think she had been somewhere with her mom where they were talking about vegetarianism and animal rights.
And I think it just hit her.
Also, I think she just developed a taste for, she never really enjoyed eggs even.
You know, she just didn't.
Yeah.
She wasn't.
The only, her weakness still today is chicken nuggets.
So, or chicken tenders.
But you can get really good vegan ones now.
And I've gotten those for her and I bake those for her.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
So were you brought up in New York?
No, my parents are New Yorkers.
My mom's from Queens. My mom's from Queens.
My dad's from Brooklyn.
I was born in Queens.
But when I was very young, my parents moved, my sister and I, the whole family moved to L.A.
That's very unusual for New Yorkers to want to go to L.A.
Well, yeah, they wanted to get out of the cold.
And they had job opportunities as young lawyers.
But I grew up in a culturally Jewish household and going to temple and had my bar mitzvah.
Where was your bar mitzvah?
It was at University Synagogue in LA.
How did it go?
It was good.
Did it all right? So it was good. I mean, look, I mean, I think it's a little, I would say it's, I grappled with the idea
that later in life, that as a 13-year-old boy, that that was my passage into manhood.
I think it's a little young.
And I also felt that it went well.
I learned all my lines.
I understood my Torah.
I understood everything, but it didn't have the meaning that I think it would as an older young man.
I feel like the passage is to the presence.
Like Alex, my brother's bar mitzvah gift.
It wasn't even a gift list, but like the presents he got was incredible.
It's so over the top.
That's what left the worst taste in my mouth about the whole thing is, you know, at that age, it's just about a party.
And so it's a deal.
Like what kid isn't going to say, yeah, I'll memorize all this if I get a big party and presents and checks from relatives of course and i think something's really lost in the um i think ours was quite
serious as well what are you talking about we were all vomiting in the toilets mom darling
that was the party after he'd done the singing he laned he sang the whole pasha so he could get
drunk and now mommy he was so drunk.
Okay, fine.
But we had a nice sculpture.
Yes, we did.
And a very questionable belly dance.
You know, you always have to have a theme.
Yeah, so we did kind of a Middle Eastern theme.
She was a very pasty blonde woman.
Yeah.
Who was a belly dancer.
Who had a dagger in her mouth.
Her name was Dawn.
Not very exotic. Did you have a theme? It was fun. I had a theme in her mouth. Her name was Dawn. Not very exotic.
Did you have a theme?
It was fun.
I had a theme.
Mine was magic.
I think that's quite good.
So I had roaming magicians.
I had chocolate white rabbits on the tables as party favorites.
I wish I'd thought of that.
Listen, I mean, let's get real.
I mean, I don't feel like it.
I think that it's quite different. It's evolved into
something that I think parents feel the pressure, the peer pressure to compete with, you know,
the rest of the synagogue, the rest of the congregation and the rest of the parents of
the community to throw the great party. And I think a lot is lost on the kids. I think it's
a missed opportunity. Will your daughter get bat mitzvah, do you think?
I don't think so.
I'm not observant in that way, and that's a personal decision.
And I wouldn't kind of insist on her doing that without her understanding what it is.
If she wants, as a grown woman, as an adult woman, once she's educated and informed, it's her decision.
And that's how I think it should be.
That's actually what I'm thinking about having a bat mitzvah.
Just because my husband's not Jewish
and I feel like it's a very important part to my upbringing,
but I was too busy apparently at 13 to go to Haida
and do the learning.
Are you religious?
I'm not religious, but I want to be able to understand if I'm going to do Hanukkah with them, you know, do the learning. Are you religious? I'm not religious, but I want to be able to understand
if I'm going to do Hanukkah with them,
I want to be able to kind of give the knowledge
to explain about Hanukkah or Pesach.
You could do that.
You could educate without having that guilt
that you seem to be experiencing.
Think of the party.
I know, so maybe I'm just... We can have a magic theme, darling. Yeah, we could do. I like the party. I know. Maybe I'm just...
We can have a magic theme, darling.
Yeah, we can do.
I like the white rabbits.
It's nice.
So growing up in your household, who cooked?
My mom.
This is great.
Okay, I'm glad we're talking about this.
First of all, my mom's a great cook.
A lot of the New York Jewish cultural dishes were passed on to her and she passed
them on to us my favorite dish of my mom's is her brisket her sweet and sour brisket brisket um
she did gribness she did you know everything um what good goodness it's like um chicken fat
chicken fat burned you boil it down you cook it down until it's like fried chicken and
then you mix it either with scratching you can mix it with onion or yeah that's right and you
put it usually in the thanksgiving stuffing would have the griveness it would have liver it would
have you know the chicken fat it would um and she would also do great potato pancakes you know
latkes and yeah so i grew up with a lot of that.
Her mother, I remember, made cheddar cheese and pickle sandwiches.
This is like the New York traditional Jewish kind of fare.
Yeah.
My mom now is Bubby to my daughter.
She's Bubby.
And my dad's Opa to my daughter.
That's a good name.
Yeah, so it's Eastern European.
So which whereabouts in Eastern Europe?
Poland or Russia?
No, Poland, Austria, France.
Those are my grandparents
and great-grandparents.
Austria-Hungary.
So do you have
gefilte fish?
Chopped and fried or boiled?
No, boiled.
I know, I never enjoyed it.
Chopped and fried is better, I think.
And chopped liver with onions.
Yeah, chopped liver.
It's funny.
We've presented that to many a goy when we've cooked for them,
and they kind of look at chopped liver like they're petrified.
I feel like it's...
And then when you eat it, it's so delicious.
I don't know if it is delicious for someone that hasn't been brought up on it.
I don't know.
Yeah, it can be.
You know, I don't know whether it's just because it's inbuilt in us.
Something with herring, pickled herring.
Yeah.
So do you like your matzo balls light or heavy?
I don't like them heavy and dense.
They should be light and fluffy.
Yeah.
Do you make matzo balls?
No.
I have done with my mom.
You know, I have done.
But I don't make them regularly.
So your daughter will never have chicken soup and matzo balls because she's a veggie?
Of course she will.
We'll go to Russ and...
Oh, you'll go?
She doesn't know that she's had... She likes... She doesn't mind
chicken soup, actually. Oh, okay. So she'll have
that good. The broth.
Yeah. So, okay. So she has had a matzo
ball in her life. Oh, yeah. Okay. Thank God
for that. Yeah. She likes chicken soup.
But you live predominantly in New York. Yeah.
That's unusual if you're in the
film TV business
or not. No.
Well, it's pretty equally divided. equally divided but i guess more and more people
are probably based in los angeles um and california i've never felt california was for me
even though i lived there and worked there a great deal and when we you know we shot the series
friends in california but as soon as it was coming to an end, I already was making plans to move to New York.
I also spent a lot of time in Chicago where I went to uni and have a theater company still to this day in Chicago.
So I'm back and forth there a lot.
I've always felt more of a big city energy was something I prefer.
And the theater.
Well, yeah.
And my parents, every year we'd make several trips back to New York to see all our relatives,
all my aunts and uncles and grandparents.
And then my mom grew up going to the theater.
So we would pack.
We would go to New York for maybe five or six days and see a play or two a day.
A day, yeah.
Wow.
And we'd just like blast through a lot of theater and musical theater.
So I grew up, you know, going to the theater quite a bit.
Can you sing?
I can act my way through a song.
Okay.
But I don't have that.
But you've not been in musical theater.
I have.
You have.
I've been in musical theater.
Sorry, I should know.
Oh, no, no, no.
What have you been in?
Not professionally.
Oh, not?
All at college and in high school.
Would you like, if there was one role in musical theater, would you choose?
Which one would I choose?
Oh, if I could sing?
Yeah, if you could sing.
Oh, my gosh.
I mean, if I, there's so many beautiful, beautiful roles.
Sky Masterson.
I mean, it's funny because I played Moonface Martin in Anything Goes.
Jessie was in Anything Goes.
I was Rino Sweeney.
Oh, I can see that.
Oh, thanks so much.
I can see that.
She was also Miss Adelaide.
It was only because I sung.
I wasn't like the actress
but they were like
fuck it
give her the bloody
solos
there you go
but I love
how my mum
now brings it
back to her
pushy
I'm not
pushy
I want to know
what your
theatre company
are doing
at the moment
in Chicago
right now
we do
predominantly
original work
or original
adaptations of classics.
So a play that is in rehearsal right now is written by one of our younger ensemble members,
African-American woman who also an incredibly talented director and actress.
She's directing her own play.
It's about one of the mayors in Chicago,
the first woman mayor,
who famously took time to live in one of the worst housing projects in the city.
On principle, she decided to live there herself as mayor.
And it's about that chapter in Chicago's history.
Is it true?
Yeah.
How long was she a successful mayor?
She was.
Because it's funny because my sister's an actress and she was in this TV show called Boss.
Oh, yeah.
And it was about a corrupt mayor.
But yeah, it's funny.
Chicago is full of, yeah.
She sounds like a good one.
Isn't that where the Obamas started out?
Yeah.
In Chicago.
In fact, their daughters were part of our theater company's younger youth ensemble.
So you spend your time, I mean, you're promoting intelligence at the moment here.
Yeah.
And then you were filming here.
So you do that.
Then you live in New York.
I mean, you sound like you're
everywhere i travel yeah i travel quite a bit but home is new york and i try to you know since i've
since my daughter's you know been here i i've really prioritized that chap this chapter of my
life is really about my daughter and not just for her but for me me too. I mean, I genuinely think it's the most meaningful part of my life
is this time with her.
So I've limited my other travel
because I want to be with her as much as possible.
And I'm very grateful that Sky and Expectation,
the production company, when it comes to shooting intelligence,
they really let me dictate the schedule
so that it's really mostly over the summer,
which is during her school break, so she can be here.
So she came over and watched you.
Oh, yeah.
So she's here during shooting.
And luckily, her mom's a Brit,
so she's got eight cousins her age here.
She's got all her aunts and uncles on her mom's side that are here. So she has a great time and she has another family here.
But yeah, I spend time going to see my parents who are still in LA and my sister and her husband
in LA or working here and mostly in New York.
We always ask everyone what their last meal would be.
So whether that's your last supper, your death row meal,
and it's a starter main pud with a drink of choice.
If you're going on a desert island for a year maybe, because I hate the
death row thing. It can be whatever you want.
It makes me feel really weird. Fine, we won't say
death row meal. Because you wouldn't eat
if you were going to die, I don't think.
I don't know. Maybe you would.
I don't know. You may be right.
You know they've cut back. They don't give you
the special request anymore in some of the states.
Is that right?
Honest to God, I heard heard it that's a bummer yeah they're cutting back that's awful isn't it um so think about that you can come back all right yeah you do no do your you're going on a desert
island for a year so you've got to take something with you in your head. Or my last meal before I go to the island.
Yeah, that's a good twist, yeah.
Yeah, I think it would be a big meal because I'd want all my faves.
But I think a really good, do you pronounce it fillet steak?
Yeah, fillet.
Because we pronounce it fillet steak yeah fillet because we pronounce it yeah really good
fillet with um i think some broccoli sauteed with olive oil and garlic some really good
crispy thick cut chips um is there somewhere you go for steak and yeah yeah exactly there's an
amazing place in the east village called lucien
it's a french kind of bistro and they do an amazing steak au poivre and that's what i'd have
i would also do like a really good chopped salad to start i love chopped americans do it really
well i can't get one in london like that's too bad yeah well you guys should open a restaurant no maybe with a chopped salad
we'd kill each other
we'd kill each other
yeah
so okay
so potentially
you get it from Lucien
your steak
that would be
like that would be
a lovely meal
steak a pop
fine steak a pop
chopped salad first
chopped salad
I feel like you can have
chopped salad as well
so it's an addition
like that's not going to be
your starter right
no that would be my starter
yes really
chopped salad's a gorgeous starter.
I know, but I kind of think it's just in with everything.
If it's very good, darling.
Also with really good fresh baked bread and butter with the salad.
Do you like salted or unsalted butter?
I like salted.
Yeah.
This is really important to know.
Yeah.
And then pudding?
Dessert, sorry.
You must know all these words because you were married to a Brit.
By the way, I'm not finished with my main.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
There we go.
Let's go.
I want a side of, I think, like a really good pasta on the side.
Now we're talking.
Where are you getting the pasta from?
Well, I'm thinking.
No.
No, I was thinking this place, Pascal Jones,
which is an Italian place downtown, or Il Molino.
I know about Il Molino.
I think I've been to Il Molino, yeah. They do a really good...
So probably like a cacio e pepe.
You're not the first.
A really simple but really good one. So where's your favorite cacio e pepe. You're not the first. A really simple but really good one.
So where's your favorite Cacio e Pepe then in New York?
Because we are in search of the greatest Cacio e Pepe.
I had a very good one here.
Because everyone talks about it for their last supper.
Like, it's crazy.
I mean, I like the one at Vic's.
I like, and Pascal Jones is a really good one.
And Il Molino.
I mean, they're all good.
I don't know if I'd pick a favorite.
Have you ever attempted to make it yourself?
No.
Because Samin Nosrat, you do know the food writer.
She did eat fat, salt, acid.
She's amazing.
So we did a New York series and we had her and she's just the most charming, wonderful
person.
And she was talking about cacio e pepe.
And actually, it's really, I mean, I bet mine isn't very good, but you use some of the water of the pasta to emulsify to emulsify the
no the butter she's used butter but you kind of use it and it thickens it up so nicely and it's
really quite simple but anyway okay so what else is it just are you onto pudding yet yeah sure
no do you like cheese you haven't had a cheese course well
there's a lot of cheese in the cachet but i do love cheese your best cheese you know i like um
i like a gouda i really like a gouda that's your best cheese well it's not my bad i mean it's what
i enjoy never i like gouda darling it might be quite exotic if you're in the States.
I don't know, is it?
Sorry to shit on your Gouda.
No, that's all right.
There's some really good Goudas.
If you get an aged Gouda, darling, it's delicious.
She doesn't know.
I mean, I'm talking, I wouldn't just have that.
I'm talking about a variety.
A cheese plate, yeah.
I would, what is it?
What's it called?
A poisse?
That's my new favorite.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I absolutely love it.
A good stinky cheese, a good stinky French.
I'm sorry.
I shat my new gouda in the cheese.
Yeah, you didn't hear the whole thing.
No, I didn't.
Sorry.
Jessie, you get in too quick.
I feel like the gouda's like a Volvo.
Do you know what I mean?
It's trusty, it's reliable, but it's not going to be like a showstopper.
But it's nice and nutty.
If you get the right one, it's good.
Yes, Jesse.
Comte.
Do you like Comte?
Is that Aguda?
Am I going to find out?
Comte.
No, it isn't.
Or Manchega.
Yeah.
With membrillo.
Okay.
Okay.
A good, what was I going to?
Not the Epoisse.
You have me at Epoisse. Yeah. what was i gonna um not the apos the yeah oh yeah the like a truffle infused pecorino have you ever had no but i can imagine fantastic it's great oh yeah i got thumbs up over there i
thought you're getting time time now i don't know how you guys eat your cheese but i need
crackers like good crackers not i don't mind the occasional sweet biscuit with it, too.
Not biscuit meaning cookie, but you know that kind of…
Yeah, digestive.
A digestive, yeah.
Or you could have graham crackers.
No.
What's graham crackers then?
Graham crackers, yeah, that's a little sweeter.
A digestive, I like a digestive with something…
Yeah, a poisse.
A poisse or a blue or a roquefort or still
anyway so but i like a good cracker but are you do you eat your cheese first like as an appetizer
no or do you have it to like a european cheese i would do it for dessert with some port okay
or red wine um what's your best red wine i like chateauneuf-du-pop i mean that's
i kind of like reliable yeah and i i like that kind of big bright juicy dessert yeah dessert
i i like different desserts it really depends on my mood i mean i i like your sticky toffee pudding
everybody wants to know whether you have kind of adopted any Anglo, like, you know, are you an Anglophile?
Like, you know.
No.
No, not bothered about.
No, I mean, I like it.
You like it, but it's not like you're like, I need Marmite right now.
No, never.
I need clotted cream.
Don't like Marmite.
No, no.
David.
It's all going so well.
You've been tricked your entire lives.
What?
You've been seriously duped no yes yes
i know that's what i'm saying have you ever tried it with cheese i i tried it once and that was
enough why don't you try it with cheese and a bit of your nut butter okay and then come talk to me
okay i assure you i won't do that he won't eat marmite my darling no you either love it or you hate it
you'll eat chicken liver chopped liver but you know but i'm not a fan like i i don't mind it
occasionally but i'm not i don't eat it regularly okay fine anyway um no i like a really good piece
of fresh pie like apple pie apple pie is not my favorite okay cherry that's not my favorite let him speak
strawberry rhubarb oh wow i've never had that combination wow you guys are really missing out
strawberry rhubarb pie because it's it's sweet and tart
about mixing strawberries with rhubarb there's a special rhubarb called strawberry?
No, no, no.
It's a mix of strawberries and rhubarb.
That makes lots of sense to me, yeah.
It's incredible.
That with the little, like, really good vanilla ice cream.
Where do you get it from?
Where do you get it from?
You know, it's hard to find.
Not a lot of places bake it.
I'm going to start baking pies.
No one needs that in our house.
I also love a good chocolate cream pie.
Chocolate cream pie. I don't know what that is you know what is that just is it just chocolate with cream you ever go
to la yes you eat meat as well house of pies is it no apple pan oh i've had the burger there yeah
that burger's great all they do yeah all they do yeah are hamburgers yeah one like the hickory
burger with like a smoky hickory barbecue sauce.
Hickory burger.
They also do a tuna sandwich, which is great.
But burgers, chips, fries, and pie.
And they usually have six fresh pies available.
Jesse, why haven't we ever been there?
Because we're fat.
Because we're fucking fat.
The chocolate cream pie at the Apple Pan
is the best
out of this world.
So what is a chocolate cream pie?
So it's,
it's what we would call
like chocolate pudding.
It's,
do you know what pudding is?
Do you guys have
chocolate pudding?
Is it like,
when it's like,
is it like a souffle?
It's thicker than a mousse.
Not like a souffle.
It's almost like a creme brulee,
the consistency of a creme brulee.
yeah,
yeah, yeah. Or a, like a chocolate pot. Have almost like a creme brulee the consistency of a creme brulee or uh like a chocolate pot have i made actually no don't think more you know a really good greek
yogurt or a little good creamy yogurt that's thick yeah creamy it's that consistency but
lovely milk chocolate would you call it or dark chocolate is it a mud pie no mud pie is a combination of um i think it's caramel or it's chocolate and
caramel it's a mud pie i believe or butterscotch i can't remember but um no chocolate cream pie
so it's a great crust really good a little salt in the crust pastry yeah it's a pastry definitely
pastry not biscuits no no it's a pastry crust that has a little salt in it crust pastry yeah it's a pastry definitely pastry not biscuits no no it's a
pastry crust that has a little salt in it which is great with the chocolate great a chocolate
um pudding is really what it's almost like the consistency of a thick cut it no no it's like
it's set like it's chilled and it's served cold which is important it's served cold with fresh whipped cream and it's the combination of those
three is out of this world i'm gonna try and do this you should i am gonna try it's great
now i have to say the last cake i made actually not the last cake i made because i made the last
one i made actually they both turned out great um I'm not a big baker or anything, but I was determined for my daughter to bake her dream cake,
which was this, you know, like a yellow sponge with fresh whipped cream and fresh strawberries.
Like a Victoria's sponge.
Yeah, but a big three-layer cake with fresh whipped cream, strawberries, and a yellow cake, right?
And that turned out well.
But the cake I made for my own birthday one um once was somebody should be making your own cake for you i just wanted to experiment
because i really wanted to yeah seriously um was a dark chocolate coffee cake so i made fresh
espresso and fresh coffee and i infused it with this really good dark chocolate and i made a
triple layer buttercream yeah buttercream did everyone eat it everyone i mean it was really
good it was really good i know i'll never make a cake that good again you should do celebrity
british bake-off i was asked to do and i almost did it this year for charity you know they do it
for charity and i really want to but this is it this year for charity. You know, they do it for charity, and I really want to,
but the schedule this year didn't work out, but I really want to.
I'm a big fan.
But you're not a bit like your character in Intelligence.
You're completely different.
I mean, obviously you are, because you play, but you're not fancy.
But how do you?
You're open, you embrace things.
Oh, thank you.
Yes.
I appreciate that.
Was it quite important to have play a very
different role to ross almost it's like another tv role yeah it was um i didn't even think about
that because for me that show was such a that long ago and we ended 15 years ago yeah so
i don't even think of that for me it, it was just about, I was really excited about this
character and this and working with Nick, you know, Nick, who I had met before, and we had
improvised together before on something else. And I just thought after meeting him and working with
him for a few days, I was just, I really want to work with this guy. So then out of the blue,
he emailed me this idea, like one-page kind of treatment of
what this show was and i thought it was really original because of the you know the workplace
setting i like the juxtaposition of the high stakes of gchq and what they have to deal with
and the idea of a workplace comedy where you're... They're all a bit geeky.
Yeah, and kind of inept or reckless or whatever.
And this character, I think I was really drawn to this character because of the moment we're in right now.
And certainly in my country, some of the folks running things at the moment,
some of the folks running things at the moment.
I felt like this character was a way of exorcising some of my anger and outrage to play a guy who is, you know, he's not very intelligent,
but he gets away with it because he's confident.
So he's a narcissist. He's entitled, self-important,
misogynist, racist, homophobic.
And I felt like...
There are a lot of them about.
Yes, there are.
And I wanted to kind of channel some of that into this character
and into a comedy because I feel like surely I'm not the only one
feeling what I'm feeling in these days. And I thought, well, let's give them, let's give people
a release. You know, let's give people a 21 minute break from reality and, and let them laugh at this guy for once.
So, yeah, I was attracted to it for that reason as well. Do you prefer doing comedy?
I like both.
Do you like a little bit of both?
You like a sweet, a salt, a comedy, a drama?
You know, it's really true.
I've never thought of it using food as an analogy, but I wouldn't have Caci and Pepe at lunch and dinner.
Do you know what I mean?
I'd have it once every, maybe every day if it's really good.
But, you know, I have it once in a while and then I like to do a comedy one year and then a more dramatic role the next or
to write or to direct or to theater film tv you know what i mean i just keep mixing it up it keeps
things more interesting to me so what are you up to after intelligence like what's um are you
writing so i'm working with uh i directed a
play in chicago with my company uh now it's almost two years ago um it's a comedy about reparations
um from slavery um set in today on a on a cotton plantation in the south uh in. It's written by one of our ensemble members, this young
African-American writer and actor who grew up in Texas. So it's inspired by some of the folks that
he grew up with. And I directed it on stage. He's the playwright. And it was a big success
in Chicago. So we pitched it to a company and set it up as a movie. So now he just finished
the first, he just turned in the first draft of the screenplay and we'll have notes on Friday
from the company. And I'm hoping that my role would be helping produce that movie. I won't,
I wouldn't direct it. We'd probably find- And you wouldn't be in it.
No, I don't think there's really a role for me in it. By the way, it's all women in the cast.
We've introduced one or two small supporting male roles.
But one of the great things about it is that it's a comedy about, really about race and class and reparations.
And it's a diverse cast of all women.
And so it's refreshing to see if this gets made into
a movie it would be refreshing to see not only an entirely uh female driven story but none of
the women none of the stories have to do with uh you know uh love life or romance or a guy. It's all about point of view and character.
And so it's really, I think, truly original.
Were you able to be involved in the writing
when Friends was happening?
Because I know that like, was that allowed?
Because I mean, you obviously were interested because...
Yeah, it was a great spirit of collaboration on set
with the writers.
But no, we weren't involved with the writing of
the scripts or pitching episodes or anything like that. Where we came in as actors and contributed
in our way was we would get the first draft of a script and we would then spend all day rehearsing
it and putting on its feet. And in doing so, we would find things that,
what if we said this instead? Maybe this would feel more organic. And we would pitch. At the
end of every day, we would do a run through for the writers and we'd show them what we came up
with. And it's a one-act play every week, right? So at the end of the day, we do everything as written, then we say,
by the way, here's an alternative joke that we came up with during rehearsal, can we pitch it
to you? So we would then pitch, you know, physical comedy or pitch an alternate line or, or we just
have a discussion say, you know, this one moment, if it was a more dramatic moment with say, Rachel
and my character Rossoss you would say
you know what this feels like we need one more beat here before we go to this you know this scene
or before they kiss or before they storm out or whatever so we would really work in a collaborative
way with the writers to to massage things so that we felt we really owned them owned it as an actor
i mean i have no idea how that usually works because you had like live audiences but like how things so that we felt we really owned them, owned it as an actor.
I mean, I have no idea how that usually works because you had like live audiences, but like how, is that quite unusual for the actors to have such?
It is.
So that's probably what makes it such a unique show.
I think so.
First of all, the writing was genuinely just great.
Yeah, yeah.
But I think that because they embrace the collaborative you know they embrace
the talent of the cast you know they said these you know we cast well let's hear them out you know
and and and that empowered us as well to be our best do you know what i mean i mean it's empowering
because i was on another show before friends where I was a regular series regular.
Luckily, we didn't shoot more than 12 episodes because it was kind of torture because I felt my ideas weren't.
They weren't interested in hearing me out.
They weren't.
And I felt like, oh, I might as well just be a prop, really, a prop that speaks.
And that was frustrating.
So I was really pleased to be in a collaborative room and environment.
I've got to find out your karaoke song, if you have one.
I don't have one because, as we established before,
I don't really sing well.
But you might have to at a bar mitzvah.
Yes. Who knows? Thank you, yeah. Or a wedding. before um i don't really sing well but you might have to do it upon mitzvah yes yeah who knows thank
you yeah or a wedding what would it be or a bat mitzvah or a bat mitzvah
i'm waiting for my invite okay so what would it be uh if you could sing. It would probably be, well, I love Journey.
Oh.
The band Journey.
Yeah.
Don't Stop Believin'.
That's, I mean, that's one.
I used to sing that to my son before his exams.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh, sorry.
We need to offer you some cake.
You don't have to eat it right now.
You can take it home.
You can keep it.
What is it?
Did you make it?
Yeah.
No.
My son made it.
Oh. Her son, the doctor. My son's a doctor.'s a doctor did i mention this what kind of cake is it banana cake i love banana cake
we usually would have offered you made you delicious food well so this is our offering
if you you can share it with you all these people who oh that would be lovely here i'll get it
that's just that no you don't have to eat you. You also don't have to eat it now and go,
mmm, it's delicious.
But it's there.
It's for you in this hard time of press junkets and promo.
Yeah, it smells.
It's got chocolate bits in it as well.
Oh, right.
So it's banana chocolate cake.
Yeah.
All right.
And is it...
I hope it's all right.
So it's not like banana chocolate bread.
It's like banana bread.
We call it banana bread. And you know what would be really good on that? Do you want honest feedback? Oh, my God. I'm just saying it's all right. So it's not like banana chocolate bread. It's like banana bread. We call it banana bread.
And you know what would be really good on that?
Do you want honest feedback?
Oh, my God.
I'm just saying it's dry.
It looks a bit dry to me.
Do you want honest feedback?
I'm telling you, Jess.
Pretend it's the most amazing.
Well, I went in deeper.
I went in deeper.
Try.
Yeah, it's drier than I.
Jesse, it's dry.
All right, Paul Hollywood.
Yeah. Stevia, come on then. Taste. Okay, let's go. It's drier than I Jessie it's dry Stevia hun Come on then
It's drier than I make
Because he's given up smoking
So he's bad tempered
Oh my god he's smelling it
It's dry
Jessica
I didn't make it
Well I didn't make it either
I've never served dry bloody banana toast.
Also, I mean.
It's not that dry.
It's dry.
The problem is there's not enough banana.
There's not enough banana.
Jesse, this is not that dry.
You would have eaten it.
It's dry.
It's dry.
I have to say, you can barely taste banana.
Fuck it up.
He's really gone wrong.
He didn't do a whole meal.
Jesus. Well, I'm a specialist in banana bread and banana up. He's really gone wrong. He didn't do a whole meal. Jesus.
Well, I'm a specialist in banana bread and banana cake.
Now we fucking know.
Is that dry?
It could also be the, what kind of bananas are you using?
You know what it is.
What kind of bananas are you using?
They weren't overripe.
Yeah, that was the problem.
I think that's the problem.
Also, look at where the chips are.
They're all the way at the bottom.
All the chocolate's on the bottom.
Well, that's not there.
This is riddled.
David, look.
What is that? I've never seen that in my life. This is a bit of a chip on the bottom. All the chocolates on the bottom. Well, that's not there. This is riddled. What is that?
I've never seen that in my life.
Jessie, I'm really embarrassed now.
Alex obviously didn't follow the recipe.
My son is an anaesthetist.
You should be embarrassed.
We're really embarrassed.
What is that?
What is that?
Those aren't chocolate chips.
They weren't chocolate chips.
He broke divine chocolate into it.
I'm not going to lie.
Look at that.
He was resentful when I asked him to make it.
There's one piece of chocolate in this.
That's a fuck you to me.
That is.
That was not made with love.
That's just the worst.
Jessica.
He'll be so upset.
I think he will.
That is so.
Stop smoking again.
Oh, stop it.
It's actually really miserable.
I'm not going to lie.
And I'm really glad
that we brought him service.
Well, we're going to throw it away.
That was a shame.
I schlepped that.
I schlepped that to the back.
I appreciate that.
I didn't make it.
I really do appreciate it.
What you do get to keep
is a tea towel from us.
Okay, thank you.
As an apology
for the mediocre...
It's got table manners on it.
Thank you
If it was me right, if I'd cooked that
she'd be like Jessica you've ruined it
because it's Alex the doctor, it's fine
He's fine, he can be forgiven
He's saving lives all day
So he's a little tired
And taking one today
Oh my god, David Schumer
Thank you so much
for giving us
your feedback
and it's all noted
and no thank you
He's not coming
to the baton
it's fine
I thought we were
going to say
he's not coming
to dinner
No fuck it
he's not coming
and I look forward
to seeing
If it's catered
I will
Oh stop it
I'll do the cooking
next time
Alright good do the cooking next time. All right, good.
David's left now after rinsing the banana bread
and we've tucked into the room service
and mum,
you're treating it like
it is bush tucker char it's not great well so we must be taking it darling it is cold
but also there's this very sad looking poached egg in your caesar salad right there so it might
have been happy happier when it was warm well There's just debris of dry banana bread over
the table. And how
lovely was David Schwimmer? I just loved him.
But he didn't look a day
older than when he was in Friends. That's what
I couldn't get over. He was just
so charming and interesting
and also
so really clever
and has his fingers in so many
different parts.
So he's just very alive, very vibrant.
I'm just trying the banana bread again just to clarify.
It's dry.
But I did get a hint of banana in the crust.
Just so you know, David, you won't know that because you wouldn't eat it.
Mum, it's really bad.
And Alex is amazing at banana bread and the recipe is amazing.
So I don't know
what happened here.
It must have been
a long day at the office.
Well, someone left it,
someone left it out
and didn't take it out
of the...
Someone left it.
Oh, oh.
Me?
You didn't tell me to.
Darling,
use your initiative.
We were on a break! thank you so much for listening we will be back next week the music you've heard on table manners
is by peter duffy and pete frazier table manners is produced by alice williams