Taking 20 Podcast - Ep 125 - Monster Series - Vampires

Episode Date: May 15, 2022

Game Masters, vampires are fascinating characters from both literary and RPG lore.  They are always powerful, beautiful, and mysterious, right?  Not so fast, my friends.  In today's episode we talk about some of the vampire myths, people from history who inspired them, and discuss how vampires can be used in your Dungeons and Dragons and Pathfinder games.   #DungeonsandDragons #Pathfinder #Dnd #Vampires

Before I start the episode, I have a personal request. This weekend, I very suddenly and unexpectedly had to go to the hospital. They found a meningioma growing on my brain, and they needed to go ahead and schedule two surgeries to remove it. I'd like to very selfishly ask that those of you who are so inclined, please send whatever good thoughts, vibes, and prayers my and my wife's way. She's going to bear the brunt of this while I'll be blissfully asleep, probably dreaming up new ways to kill my gaming group's characters. The prognosis is good, and I hope to be back making content again in no time.

I've already recorded through episode 127, so there's still some content waiting in the shoot for you. Sorry to start the episode on a downer, but I wanted everyone to know just in case there was a gap in episodes after that. Now, on with the episode on a downer, but I wanted everyone to know just in case there was a gap in episodes after that. Now, on with the episode. This week on the Taking 20 podcast. This week, continuing the monster series all about vampires. This week's sponsor, spreadsheets. If someone you know gets excited about filling out the top row of a spreadsheet, it's probably because they are a heterosexual. Please like, rate, subscribe, and

leave us a review for this podcast if you can. Every single one of those helps promote visibility of the podcast and can help it be found by others who want to learn more about this wonderful hobby. So what are vampires? In popular culture, vampires are undead creatures that subsist on human blood in order to survive. They are undead, or at least non-living, creatures that have unique characteristics that we'll get to in a moment. So let's talk about the origins of vampires. So let's talk about the origins of vampires. Myths of vampires go all the way back to ancient Greece,

where there are stories of human-like creatures that prowled the night and drank bodily fluids. These creatures were called Vrykalakas. Vrykalakas. Vrykalakas. I don't know if I'm pronouncing that right. It's all Greek to me. The Greeks believed you became one of these by living a sacrilegious life or being buried in unconsecrated ground, or eating the meat of a sheep that had been bitten by a wolf or a werewolf. People with red hair and gray eyes were believed to be Vrykalakas in human form.

Wait, red hair and gray eyes? That sounds like an amazing combination for a character. As opposed to most of the time, with gray hair and red eyes from lack of sleep, that's kind of where I live most of the time. The Greeks would bury people upside down, place scythes and sickles near the grave, and even scatter salt or millet around the gravesite to keep vampires busy and not turn the freshly buried body into a vampire as well. Another possible source for vampires is Vlad the Impaler or Vlad Dracul. Vlad Dracul could be an episode all his own, but this isn't a history podcast. I'll do my best to keep this short. He was so-called because his favorite method of

execution was to impale his enemies on stakes. It's said that he would eat dinner among the dying and dip his bread in their blood. That's just gross and unsanitary. He was ruler over Wallachia three times in his life between 1448 and 1477. He has a complicated history being a political prisoner young in life, exiled to Moldavia, imprisoned in Hungary, and subjected to cruelty there. Of course, he was particularly cruel as well, so I'm not going to guess whether others' cruelty made him cruel or they were cruel to him because of his cruelty to others. Either way, he was an asshole. People tend to claim that he was the inspiration for Bram Stoker's Count Dracula,

but according to a 2006 book by Jimmy Cain, Vlad the Impaler doesn't appear in Bram Stoker's writing notes at all. Another possible inspiration for vampires is Mercy Brown. She lived in Exeter, Rhode Island in the late 1800s and was the daughter of George Brown, a farmer in the community. Mercy passed away and then other members of the family began to die as well. The community blamed Mercy for the deaths of the other family members, so Mercy's body was exhumed, and when they did, it didn't show the expected signs of severe decay.

Never mind the fact that the body was in an above-ground vault during winter in New England where it's cold. That's called refrigeration, kids, but crazy people gonna crazy. So they cut her heart out, burned it, fed the ashes to her sick brother, and in a shock to absolutely nobody, he died shortly thereafter. Another possible inspiration is Elizabeth Bathroy, Countess Elizabeth Bathroy, if you will. She was a Hungarian aristocrat who lived from 1560 to 1614. She would have young girls killed, and then she would bathe in the

victim's blood. It's said that she believed that this process would keep her looking eternally young, and she especially craved young virgin female blood. So there are a lot of potential inspirations for vampire and vampire lore, but most likely it was Bram Stoker's novel Dracula that really brought them into the popularity and forefront. I know lately vampires has had a resurgence thanks to the steaming piles of fecal matter posing as movies and books known as the Twilight series, but vampire lore and belief actually peaked during the Victorian age of human history, which also happens to be the name of an RPG, Victorian Age Vampire. Never played it, but then again, that's probably because I'm more of a werewolf guy myself. That way, to quote the movie Spaceballs,

I could be half man and half dog and be my own best friend. So according to pop culture, what are the characteristics of vampires? They are undead or they have been brought back to life in some way. Sometimes they have cold gray skin, no heartbeat, but sometimes they spank. God, it's so stupid. Where was Blade when we needed him in those movies? I'm sorry. I will just say that I am not a fan of the Twilight series.

Vampires drink blood to survive. They use their sharp fangs to pierce skin to drink the blood of the Twilight series. Vampires drink blood to survive. They use their sharp fangs to pierce skin to drink the blood of the victim. And the reasons why vary from legend to legend. Some say they need it for energy. Some say they need it for sustenance to stay alive. Their blood lacks a certain something, like iron or hemoglobin, and it takes a living person's blood to keep them moving. What's always been interesting to me is that vampires are usually depicted as drinking blood from a victim's neck. Now, Jeremy's completely unsubstantiated theory about why vampires bit the neck is that this came from the Victorian era of English history. It was a time of sexual repression when close personal contact was extremely rare,

and the act of removing an article of clothing close to the neck and biting into the flesh would almost be viewed as an intimate act that violates not only the victim, but societal norms of maintaining respectful distance. Vampires were viewed as bestial creatures who lacked self-control and represented the desires of many to throw off the shackles of societal norms and embrace their innermost desire for closeness, contact, and unrestrained carnal passion. Or maybe it's just because necks were more convenient and look better in movies. Vampires are burned by sunlight.

Just being exposed to it would cause the vampire to burn, whether that's just causing burns on the skin like a severe sunburn, or completely engulfing them in flames. It depends on which legends you read. Vampires also had an aversion to garlic, and let me tell you, I could not be a vampire. Damn. Immortality is not worth it if I don't get garlic bread anymore. I put garlic in everything. Chili, soups, stews, lamb chops, green beans, chicken. If the recipe calls for a clove of garlic, I laugh and just keep adding them. My shoulder gets tired. Vampires sleep in a coffin, maybe containing dirt from their home. Vampires could be anywhere from grotesque monsters to mind-numbingly good-looking. All I'm saying is, is if the Nosferatu is chasing me, I'm running hard. But

if the vampire looks like Kate Beckinsale from the Underworld movies, I may not be giving it my full effort to get away from the vampire at that point. Oh, ow, I turned my ankle. I guess you'll have to bite me now. Please? Just a little? Okay, hitting the accelerator a little bit. Vampires were believed to be pale and skinny, probably because their heart likely didn't beat blood. Vampires were believed to be pale and skinny, probably because their heart likely didn't beat blood. Vampires could not stand to touch silver, which leads into the next feature. Vampires do not appear in mirrors and can't be photographed. Why? Mirrors in the Victorian age tended to have a silver backing to give it its reflective capability. Camera film used to rely

on silver iodide, silver bromide, silver chloride, and silver gelatin. But that's why you couldn't take their pictures, and that's why they didn't appear in mirrors, because of the silver. Being bitten by a vampire may turn you into one. Legends differ here. Sometimes it required you to drink the vampire's blood as well. Vampires can't stand holy items like crucifixes and holy water. They could turn into various creatures like bats and wolves. Speaking of which, if you like spoof shows and haven't watched What We Do in the Shadows, either the movie or the TV series, highly recommended. Please give both a watch. Every time one of the characters changes into a bat, he

screams, bat, and flies away. It's so stupid, but I laugh every single time. To kill a vampire, you had to drive a wooden stake through its heart, cut off its head, and expose them to sunlight. But to be fair, almost everything would die if you stab it in the heart and cut off its head. There were other legends like they couldn't cross running water, had to be invited into your home, and you could distract them by throwing rice on the ground. Now, here's the interesting thing in my research. Some of the vampire legends may have real-world maladies as their basis. There's a malady called porphyria, where your skin will blister if exposed to sunlight. Disfigurement of the skin causes gums to recede, meaning your teeth have a more fanged appearance.

It also makes you sensitive to foods with high sulfur content, just like, you guessed it, garlic. Another possible malady that's been mentioned is tuberculosis, where the skin tends to become grayish in color and you generally lose weight and you're very pale and thin. All right, enough background. Let's get to gaming system details. In 5th edition, the vampire, there their various kinds. There's the blood drinker, the mind drinker, and so forth. The default run-of-the-mill vampires, though, are a challenge rating 13, so they can be found in high-level campaigns and sometimes as bosses in mid-range campaigns. Their stats are completely nuts, with their lowest ability score being a 15. They have a 17 intelligence, so they should think, fight,

and plan intelligently. See episode 29 where I talk about vampires and other intelligent undead. They have resistance to necrotic and all non-magical attacks. They have long-range dark vision up to 120 feet, which makes sense for creatures of the night. They are a medium-sized undead, and they can spider climb, even on ceilings. Vampires have three legendary actions that reset on their turn. They can move, they can attack with a claw, or they can attack with a bite, which costs them two actions. They aren't unstoppable monsters, though. They have weaknesses. They cannot enter a residence without being invited by an occupant.

They take 20 damage if they end their turn in running water. A stake to the heart renders them incapacitated and paralyzed, and that's S-T-A-K-E, not S-T-E-A-K. Please do not try to stab a vampire with a porterhouse. If they start their turn in sunlight, they take 20 damage. Is 20 damage a lot to them? Well, they have an average of 144 hit points. So yeah, that's almost 1 7th their average max hit HP.

So hold the average vampire in running water or out in sunlight for 48 seconds, and they turn into a mist and return to their coffin. Of course, that's easier said than done. They're very strong with their 18 strength and generally aren't keen on taking a swim, so they're going to be fighting you the whole time, clawing, biting, etc. And then you have to find the coffin, figure out how to open it, hope it's gotten enough HP to be corporeal again, stake it in the heart. What I'm getting at is that in 5th edition, vampires are hard as hell to kill. Pathfinder 2e vampires aren't nearly as tough. There are a lot of

different vampires defined in the various bestiaries in 2e. The vampire spawn, the count, the mastermind, the minister of tumult, the various types of Nosferatu, a vampire from Chinese folklore called the Jiangshi, various kinds of vampires derived from the Greek legend the Vrykalakas again. Vampires in 2e are much weaker than those defined in 5e. I mean, vampire spawn are only CR4, although the ancient Vrakalakas is CR13, so that's going to be a tough monster. But in 2e, they are much more versatile enemies that can appear even in lower-level campaigns. Other than strength and combat difficulty, there's a lot of similarity between 5e and 2e vampires. Both can change shape, both can dominate creatures, both can create

spawn, both can drink blood, both can turn to mist at will or when they drop to zero hit points, both have a climb speed, yep, yep, yep, and yep. So that means 5th edition and 2nd edition vampires should have similar tactics. The CliffsNotes version of the episode I mentioned previously, episode 29, they take the long view on things. If they feel threatened, they will retreat and wait. Time is on their side. They'll put their coffins in areas that may only be accessible in mist form. Why do you put your coffin somewhere that Doug the Barbarian can stumble onto it?

Put it behind five feet of solid stone with tiny air holes a centimeter off the ground. Most vampires are spellcasters. They will use the spells available to them at range if the party is melee focused. They are very mobile, have fly speeds, additional speeds, and will do what they can to get away if they feel threatened. If they're in an area where they cannot hunt without being seen, they will take precautions around their hunting. They will go far away to do it. They will have their minions do it. They may subsist on animal blood for the most part and only treat human or intelligent humanoid blood as a rare treat.

If it's a modern or an advanced setting, they may set themselves up where people will donate blood to them willingly. It's the old trick we see in the movies and the books where the vampires set up a blood donation center. People willingly come in to give pints of blood, no hunting required. No threat of being discovered as long as they're not walking around the blood donation clinic with a straw sampling goods. What is this? Oh, oh, positive, my favorite. Why is he drinking out of a plastic bag? Don't ask any questions. Last thing, since I'm determined to keep this under 20 minutes if I can, why would a vampire fight the party when they can

get someone else to do it for them? They have minions. They can summon swarms. They can bring all of that to bear on the battle without putting themselves in danger. If all else fails though, vampires are smart enough to know that the idiot in plate mail probably doesn't have a great wisdom or will save, and they will try to dominate that person into fighting the party for them. So how do you use vampires in your game? Well, DMs, vampires make great baddies. They are intelligent, meticulous, charming, strong. They look like Kate Beckinsale or Gemma Arterton in the movie Byzantium. Wait, do I have a thing for vampire women? Wait, Deborah Ann Wall was a vampire in True Blood.

So wait, wait, we could both be immortal and she could be my DM? Sold. Tell my wife I said I'm sorry. I have a new life goal. Vampires make great bosses for mid and high level games, and they can be frustrating to fight against, so don't make them the perpetual carrot the characters never catch. Tease them along a little bit, but when the time is right, give the characters the showdown with the Night Spawn, or the Child of the Night, or the Alabaster Queen, or whatever you want to call your vampire boss. Players in a Pathfinder can play as a Dampir, by the way, which is a half-vampire. While I've never played one, it certainly looks fun, and they look like they've taken the time to try to make sure they're not overpowered.

Players, if you're interested in playing a vampire in 5e, there's lots of third-party material on playing as vampires or Dampier. Give those a good close inspection and run them by your DM before you try to roll it out in the game. So today we talked about the history of vampires and my apparent proclivity towards vampire women. There's a lot to vampires in the various versions, like when they die, their spawn may die with them, like a giant single point of failure that screams deus ex machina, because that means if you kill the oldest living vampire,

most, if not all, of the other vampires will all die, assuming single source for vampirism, and no vampires were made the human way. You know, the way that starts with a large margarita and some slow, sensual music and maybe a massage. Vampires are intelligent, powerful, and have a different perspective

from humans. They are patient and in many cases take great care not to be discovered for what they really are. They will use their minions to do their dirty work and if hard-pressed, will sacrifice their minions' lives before ever putting theirs in danger. Next week, how to know when it's time to leave your gaming group. Hint, it's because they suck. See? See what I did there? It's a vampire episode? Made a suck joke? Huh? Huh? Yes, yes, you're very smart. I wonder if Debra Ann Wall would think you're clever. My bet is no.

Well, I may have gone a bridge too far on the vampire women jokes. I need to find some place where I can get roses at this hour. Did you like the episode on vampires? If so, please consider supporting the podcast. Head over to ko-fi.com slash taking20podcast and consider making a one-time or recurring donation. Like Bobby did. Thank you so much for the donation, Bobby.

I promise we're covering that news item next week. Donations like Bobby's help me keep this podcast going, so please consider donating if you can. Before I go, though, I want to thank this week's sponsor, Spreadsheets. If you have a number that won't stay in its cell, it's probably because it's a Roman numeral. Ah, yeah, soaking that horrible joke for a little while. This has been episode 125, continuing the monster series all about vampires. My name is Jeremy Shelley, and I hope that your next game is your best game. The Taking 20 Podcast is a Publishing Cube media production. Copyright 2022.

References to game system content are copyrighted by the respective publishers.