Taking 20 Podcast - Ep 201 - It’s Not All On the DM

Episode Date: November 19, 2023

Players, your DMs love you and enjoy having you at their table but some of them could use a little help even if they don’t know how to ask for it.  In this episode I encourage players to talk to DMs about how they can help carry the burden of keeping a weekly game going.   #dnd #pf2e #DMTips #Burnout

This week on the Taking 20 Podcast. If you've never GM'd before, let me tell you, DM burnout is very, very real. And it's one of the main reasons that people want to step out from behind the screen. Thank you so much for listening to the Taking 20 Podcast, episode 201. An episode especially for my beloved players out there, encouraging you to help your overworked DM and giving you some ideas on how you can. I want to thank the sponsor 3D Crafts and Curios. Please head over to their Etsy shop, etsy.com slash shop slash 3D Crafts and Curios, and I'll put a link down in the resources.

They have some amazing stuff for sale, and you can use the coupon code TAKING20 to get 20% off your order through the end of the year. I also want to thank our sponsor, Bread. It was a tragedy when my friend's bread bakery burned down. Now his business is toast. We have a coffee, ko-fi.com slash taking20podcast. I try not to ask for donations very often,

but if you would be willing to donate to the podcast to keep it going, I would greatly appreciate it. 200 episodes down. It's time to start the next 200. That's, you know, actually, that's a crazy thought. I can't believe I've made it this far without collapsing yet. I'm bound to run out of ideas soon, right? I mean, it's not like I can do episodes on running multiple groups in the same

world, running games with monsters for PCs, more details on metagaming and collaborative storytelling, letting players confer during combat, the evolution and history of the RPG hobby, acceptance at the table, how to do story vignettes and maybe epilogues, maybe even a series about running games in jungles and underground and deserts and other varied environments, handling RPG romance and dating, plus I'm working on a few other interviews. I'm thinking about doing episodes where I review products and...

Okay, you know what? Maybe this will keep going for a good while longer. I haven't tapped out yet and I don't plan on it anytime soon. As long as you keep downloading, supporting, donating, and listening, I'm going to do my damnedest to be here talking about this hobby that we all love, or if you're new to the hobby, hopefully one you'll love very soon. But speaking of topics, do you have one for me? Have an idea for an episode? Send it to me at feedback at taking20podcast.com and I'll try to get the episode scheduled in the near future. I've mentioned before that inspiration can come from anywhere.

And today's comes from a GM friend of mine who emailed me to say how tired he was. Not of the game, mind you. He's a good friend and a great DM. I need to bring him on for an interview one of these weeks and I plan on doing it, but it wasn't the game that was dragging his energy level down. It was everything else related to gaming that was sapping his joy. He said he was tired of being responsible for hosting and snacks and maps, the virtual tabletop when they couldn't meet in person,

and all the other peripheral activities in this hobby, and he asked me how I handled it all. And I told him simply, I don't anymore. As my DMing has taken up more and more of my time, along with my day jobs and a podcast, I realized I don't have time to do all of it. I am going to talk a lot about one of my groups, not by name, but if any of those are listening, you'll probably recognize yourself. But just know this, even though I'm using you guys as an example, I love you and I love GMing for you. However, there have been some recent developments that reinforce the points that I'm going to make. For a long time in this group, we met in person. I was responsible for hosting and snacks and sometimes even meals, setting up the electronic tabletop, printing out handouts, keeping notes, keeping a website, plus all the preparation for a sandbox adventure,

which isn't as straightforward or easy as prepping, say, a pre-made linear adventure path. There were sounds and atmosphere and everything else to make it a great game experience for my players because I loved them and it gives me joy to see them happy. for my players because I love them and it gives me joy to see them happy. But in short, it became another job where I was frankly hemorrhaging time and money and my well-being suffered because of it. I started dreading gaming nights because so much of the prep work and logistics was just laid at my feet. It was extremely frustrating because others wouldn't step up to help. at my feet. It was extremely frustrating because others wouldn't step up to help. Never mind the session planning and counterbalancing, monster tokens, and everything else that's part of setting up a game for the players. At the end of the night when my players would say, that was fun,

when can we do it again? Instead of the excitement of having engaged players who enjoyed the session, I felt dread, exasperation that I had busted hump to give them a game night and they wanted to go right back and do it again and I'd have to do all of that work all over again. So my beloved GMs out there, I know you may feel like everything falls to you in order to make gaming happen, but I want you to hear these words and cherish them in your heart now and forever more. It's not all on you. You should delegate some or all of the non-critical gaming functions to your players. Now players, I love you all when you come to my table, but when you show up like baby birds in the nest, mouth wide open, waiting to be fed an engaging gaming experience, and giving nothing back?

You may not want to hear this, but you're a drain on your DM's precious resources of time, money, and or energy. That doesn't mean your DM doesn't enjoy playing with you. There are DMs who can shoulder all of the load and keep the game running. But the first thing I want to ask you, my beloved players out there, if you're fortunate enough to be part of a regular game, especially one that's long running, please reach out to your hard-working GM and ask them what you can do to help. Be open to some of the things we've talked about outside of gaming, providing pizza or food, snacks, beer, take over scheduling duties for the gaming sessions, help contribute to the cost of the VTT or the maps that the DM uses,

anything at the periphery of gaming to make it easier on the GM to get ready for the next session. And here's the thing. The DM may mention something inside the gaming session that you can do to help. I want to ask you to please consider what they're asking, because if they're brave enough to mention it to you, then it's important to them and it's on their mind. Examples of what I'm talking about inside the game. They may ask you to be more engaged at the table.

They may ask you to help with game mechanics, like managing initiative or hit points or condition tracking or party inventory. They may ask for help keeping the game space tidy, clearing trash, drink cups, etc. from the playing surface. They may ask you to better respect DM decisions and help resolve conflicts between players. They may ask you to look up certain rules and become the rules reference for the players at the table.

They may ask you to help promote a positive gaming environment, diffuse tensions at the table. And they also may ask you, you know what? It's your character. You need to know your character's abilities and spells better than you do. This list isn't comprehensive because it's impossible to make a comprehensive list. There are too many possible things that they could ask. Different DMs will ask for help and support in different ways. And what I want you to do is do what you can to support your DMs. I've done an entire episode on burnout, like episode number 151, which was about a year ago.

Go listen to that episode, and if you're listening on YouTube, there'll be a little card up in the corner. If you've never GMed before, let me tell you, DM burnout is very, very real, and it's one of the main reasons that people want to step out from behind the screen. We're trying to remember what the voice of the armorsmith was when someone shouts from the next room that, Hey, there aren't any drinks left! Was the armorsmith Scottish? No, I think it was Irish, and it was higher pitched. Is this two- liter fair game? No, it belongs to your roommate.

And oh yeah, Armorsmith, higher pitched Irish accent. Can we get salsa next session? Son of a bitch. You're pulled ten different directions trying to juggle three different thoughts simultaneously and trying to hurt a bunch of spooked kittens on meth. You may be wondering whether I mean that you feel like you're on meth hurting kittens or if the chaotic kittens are on meth, and the answer is yes. Anyone can DM, but I want players to know that DMing is a lot of work.

Being a player is easy in a lot of ways. I am each in turn. I am player in some games and DM in others, and the nights where I'm a player are much easier than the nights where I have to prep and provide logistics so gaming can go on. Players, you may think everything is the DM's responsibility, but we get more done efficiently if we work together, share the load, if you will. The most important thing I want you to consider this week is what you can do to support your DM. Take some burden off your game master. Maybe even provide constructive feedback and then be willing to assist with whatever needs to change. Offer solutions and ultimately as a reminder, thank your DM every now and then. Your GM may be suffering in silence, burned out and ready to quit and trust

me, nobody wants that to happen. Ask your DM what burdens you can help them carry, and I'll bet you and the entire table would have more fun doing it. Shorter episode this week, but I thought this was a critically important topic to discuss, especially since a good friend of mine is suffering through this right now. As a reminder, the podcast has a website, taking20podcast.com. I'm going to revamp it in the coming months and probably upload some photos and that kind of thing. Also, I'm going to put a list of the NPCs that were submitted as part of the contest that ended last week, so stay tuned for that. Tune in next week when I'm going to have a Back to Basics

episode reminding DMs of the one most important rule they need to remember behind the screen. But before I go, I want to thank this week's sponsor, Bread. I bit into a bread loaf the other day and it almost broke my tooth on a small gold nugget. I guess it was part of the upper crust. This has been episode 201, reminding you it's not all on the DM. My name is Jeremy Shelley, and I hope that your next game is your best game. The Taking 20 Podcast is a Publishing Cube Media Production. Copyright 2023. References to game system content

are copyright their respective publishers.