Taking 20 Podcast - Ep 85 - What I Wish I'd Known When I Started Playing D&D

Episode Date: August 8, 2021

Like most people who have done something for a while, I look back at my early days of playing D&D and cringe at some of the mistakes I made as a new player.  In this episode we talk about 15 of those mistakes and the lessons I've learned since then.

This week on the Taking 20 podcast. While you're gaming, you are going to fail, sometimes spectacularly, at the worst possible moments. The dice could simply be against you that night, you might make a bad decision, enemies could score critical hits against you, and your character could die and the big bad may even win. That's okay. even when. That's okay. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to episode 85 of the Taking20 podcast. This week, talking about the 15 things I wish I'd known when I started playing D&D.

This week's sponsor is Lori and Maggie's Cheese Company. We're here for you in Queso Emergency. Please like, subscribe, and give us a rating wherever you found us. Also, if you're interested in sponsoring a future giveaway, please reach out to me at feedback at taking20podcast.com. I did a giveaway during episode 75, and I'd love to do another one for episode 100. Please let me know if you'd like to sponsor and maybe get some advertisement time on a podcast that gets a few hundred downloads a week or so. Here comes another player-specific episode, and I'm hoping to do more of these as I go on. The recommendations I make today are going to apply to all RPGs. It just so happened that I cut my table gaming teeth on Dungeons & Dragons.

I started playing D&D in the 80s in the middle of the Satanic Panic. Things were so different then. I mean, D&D was so marginalized. It was less understood by most of the people in the world. People thought it caused someone to worship devils or commit self-harm and even commit suicide. Trying to explain it to my mom at the time, she wanted to hear none of it. She had heard it was satanic and she wouldn't even entertain my explanation of it. A few years later in the late 80s, my older brother burned my entire Dungeons & Dragons and Advanced Dungeons & Dragons collection in order to save my soul from Satan. I had bought

that entire collection with money I made push mowing lawns in the southern U.S. heat. I was, let's just say, not happy. I don't think it worked the way he hoped, because I'm still playing an average of two nights a week, and I'll likely increase that number as I get older. Also, saying it one more time for the people in the back, Dungeons & Dragons and religion are not diametrically opposed. I taught an adult Sunday school class for more than a decade, and was playing Pathfinder and D&D the entire time. Now, most of the world knows that RPGs are not satanic or

harmful to players. D&D, Pathfinder, GURPS, Blades in the Dark, they're just rule systems and structures around which a narrative can be built. The only thing these games are harmful to are dice. As we throw them across the room. For rolling three natural ones in a row, you piece of shit! Gaming resources weren't as prevalent back then either. What knowledge we had about Dungeons & Dragons, we figured out reading the books, talking to local gamers, and playing the occasional rare game at the local gaming store. Eventually, we would get Dragon Magazine, Dungeon Magazine, which had beautiful articles and artwork in it, lots of girls in chainmail bikinis, and I swear to God, Mom, I'm just reading it for the articles. The only real way we had to meet other gamers was at game stores, conventions, and word of mouth. But you had to be careful.

If people at school found out that you played a fantasy game, you'd likely be teased, called a nerd, and then looked at as some sort of weirdo. But now? Oh, the renaissance of tabletop gaming has been glorious. Thanks to online play and the loss of social stigma of role-playing games, it makes me so happy that diverse players from all walks of life, identities, backgrounds, and perspectives are flocking to these games. I mean, we're seeing numbers that we've never seen before. I will freely admit I am emerald green with envy at people who are new to the hobby now. There are podcasts, Twitch broadcasts, YouTube streams,

all kinds of games being played that you can watch, not to mention the blogs and websites and podcasts collecting ideas, tips, helping players and GMs feel more comfortable at the table. The sheer number of resources available these days is amazing and I'm so happy that it's continuing to grow. Websites, apps, services that help you build characters and encounters and maybe even entire campaigns. Searchable databases, sample builds, discussions of monster tactics, there's all kinds of people putting great content out there for us players and DMs.

And by the way, a popular YouTuber recently opined that only D&D is popular and that the Pathfinder gaming system is waning. Yeah, that's not true at all. D&D may be a monolith, but Pathfinder continues to grow in popularity, especially with the release of its second edition. Don't buy into clickbait fear-mongering. The point is, we're experiencing a high point in gaming right now, and we're getting tons of new players coming to our tables. Even though it was a different time,

I do have some regrets about my knowledge level when I first started playing D&D, and I hope I can help new players with 15 things I wish I'd known before I colored in my first 20-sided die with the provided crayon. Yep, we used to have to color the numbers on our own dice that we bought. Don't let anyone start talking about the good old days of gaming. Shit's so much better now. At least our freaking dice come pre-painted. Anyway, without further ado, first thing I wish I'd known, let your DM and fellow players know you're new to the game. Yes, there are assholes in every hobby, but the vast majority of players and dungeon masters I've ever met,

played with, talked with, are welcoming of new players. A good chunk of us are downright giddy to introduce new players to the hobby. More experienced players and GMs will happily help you build your character or help you find a pre-built character that meets your needs. I will forever be indebted to my first DM, John, who introduced me to this hobby and killed my first character in my very first session. This hobby provides so much joy when you find the right group. I and so many others want to help you discover if role-playing games are right for you.

Don't be embarrassed that you haven't played. Don't worry that you don't own dice. Who cares if you don't have the book yet? If you're interested and you want to learn more about gaming, approach someone you know who plays these games and ask them for an opportunity to play. Second thing I wish I'd known. If you're meeting in person, ask the established group what you can bring, drinks, snacks, extra chairs, tables, a pizza, something.

Being willing to provide for the group and not just consume goes a long way towards being a good friend. Third thing I wish I'd known, do not be scared about being a new player. Now this may sound like the same thing as the first one, but the first one is let them know you're a new player, but the third tip is don't be scared about being a new player. Now this may sound like the same thing as the first one, but the first one is let them know you're a new player, but the third tip is don't be scared about it. Every person you're sitting at the table with was a new player at one point. Being new at

something is the first step at being good at something. Show up, be willing to learn, be that new player who's eager, someone who wants to know how to do things properly. Fourth thing I wish I'd known. Don't be scared you'll do it wrong. First off, there's no such thing as playing RPGs wrong, except when you're trying to cause someone else not to have fun. We're all going to make mistakes. Hell, I've been DMing for I don't know how many years now, and I make mistakes as a player and as a DM. It's okay. You're not going to do it wrong, and if you make a mistake, more than likely it's going to be funny, not tragic. Fifth thing I wish I'd known. Worry about describing what you want your character to do. Don't worry about using the exact right gaming term. Don't

worry about trying to memorize what type of action certain things are. Your DM and your fellow players are going to help you adjudicate what you'd like to do within the rules. Just say that you would like your rogue character to stab the sorcerer and then move back away from her. As you become more experienced, you may use the correct terms like attack and bonus action to disengage. Don't worry about that correct term shit right

now. That comes with time. Just describe what you want your character to do, and your fellow players and your DM will help teach you what those terms are. Sixth thing I wish I'd known when I started playing Dungeons & Dragons. I wish I'd watched or listened to some games before I played. These days, there are all kinds of podcasts, Twitch streams, and YouTube videos of people actually playing the game system that you're going to play. Give one of those a watch. Ideally, make sure you look for extremes

or videos of the actual game system that you're going to play. It's okay to watch other game systems to learn what a gaming table actually looks and feels like, but there are caveats. I mean, every game system is different in terms that it uses and how different rules work together. Dungeons & Dragons and Pathfinder, for example, are very closely related to each other in terms of fantasy games

that you can run, but they're different in their structural elements. Also remember that games at home and games played for a stream do look different than what you will see. Most home games, for example, don't look or feel like Critical Role or Glass Cannon. Those shows are produced with an online audience in mind, whereas most games are played just to be consumed by the players and the DM themselves. Also, it should go without saying, not every DM is Troy LaVallee or Matthew Mercer or Debra Ann Wohl, so take the game for what it is and don't expect it to be exactly like the stream that you watch. Seventh thing I wish I'd known, failure is part of the game. There's a reason the DM will ask you to roll dice when you want to stab something or try to pick a lock or sneak past that half-asleep guard at the

gate. There's a chance for failure. While you're gaming, you are going to fail, sometimes spectacularly, at the worst possible moments. You won't see the ambush up ahead. The guards will see through your forgery attempt to get into the mayor's soiree. You leap off the counter in an attempt to bring your saber down on the zombie's head, only to roll a natural one and instead faceplant into a rack of magazines. The dice could simply be against you that night, you might make a bad decision, enemies could score critical hits against you, and your character could die and the big bad may even win. That's okay. One of my favorite t-shirts to wear while I'm gaming is a giant picture of a D20 showing a natural one,

and there's words on the top and bottom of it that say, Bad rolls make great stories. Even if everything goes wrong and you have one of those nights where your character dies 20 minutes in, you're still spending time with friends and telling a story together. Even we experienced players will have nights where everything goes sideways. None of your plans come to fruition. You wind up accidentally, oh, I don't know, sticking your hand inside of a portal to the negative energy realm and wind up losing your hand as a rogue two minutes before the final boss fight of the campaign. Not that I did that,

mind you, but somebody I know very well who happens to be sitting in this chair may have done that about 10 years ago, so I wasn't even new to gaming. Anyway, eighth thing I wish I'd known, support your fellow players. It's great to always be the hero, to always be the one that rescues everything, Always be the great grand one that everybody looks up to as, oh, she's amazing. But you know what? Sometimes be Batman and sometimes be Robin. Don't be afraid to be someone's sidekick during part of the story. Another way to say this, by the way, is to share the spotlight. Give players their moment and support them while they're doing it. That moment could be a role-play moment where the player reveals part of a backstory or a cool interaction between two PCs,

or a PC and an NPC are having an important chat, or maybe the DM is revealing a major plot point. In those moments, give those PCs or the GM the spotlight and let them shine. They will hand it back to you soon enough. A great question you can always ask is, what can I do to help this scene, and what can I do to help these players?

It's a great one to be asking yourself. Sometimes the best way to help is to jump in, contribute to the narrative, roll some checks, and sometimes it's fade into the background. Make sure you do both while you're gaming. Ninth thing I wish I'd known. Make a choice when it comes to your character, and no matter what choice you make, you won't be wrong. Come up with some ideas about

your character. A single belief or moral or goal is really all you need, because that will help you figure out how they would react in a given situation and will help you roleplay. Don't play everything conservative and safe and close in. Make a choice and stick with it. One of the characters I'm roleplaying right now is a septuagenarian druid who is basically crossing off the last item of her bucket list by going adventuring with a bunch of younger whippersnappers.

I'm having a ball playing her. If you want to go a little further, have a one-sentence backstory. I do not suggest that you come up with this 10-page backstory that includes the time your character was bullied on the playground in kindergarten. One-sentence explanation of your character is good enough. She's a divorcee who's going on one last adventure. She's a representative of the faith who wants to vanquish the evil of the town. They're a rogue who gets a thrill out of opening previously locked doors. He loves secrets,

especially revealing them. She wants to make enough money for her and her love to move to the next town. Their cousin needs an expensive medical treatment and they're taking on this dangerous job to help pay for it. They're looking for a missing sibling or parent or child. She's an ex-military operative who doesn't fit in with the real world since she left the military and chooses to make money using the skills she's learned working for her government. All of these are good enough reasons for your character to be an adventurer. If I can sum it up in one sentence, an interesting character is much better at a table

than making the most optimized badass character. That druid I was talking about earlier, by the way, when allies fall in battle, she collects hair or beard hair from them, even if they're just unconscious and not dead. Why? I have a reason, but I'm sure as hell not telling them. I think if she's ever knocked unconscious, they'll probably rifle through her stuff and take their hair back. She's not the most badass, optimized character on the planet. She's sometimes forgetful, even in the middle of battle, but god, she's so much fun to play. She has her quirks, the forgetfulness,fulness the hair thing and a few other things that i've kind of

sprinkled in i can't wait to see how it plays out in the campaign so make a choice with your character role play it and enjoy it tenth thing i wish i'd known don't be afraid to ask questions if you aren't sure what something is or what a term means, ask. Don't just sit there in your ignorance and think, oh, someone will think I'm an idiot because I don't know the difference between ghouls and zombies. No, we won't. Ask. We love to teach new players. Ask the player. Ask the DM.

And by the way, the difference is that ghouls are smarter. They can bite whereas zombies just claw. And ghouls can speak whereas zombies can't. Anyway, eleventh thing I wish I'd known. Push the story forward. Make a choice and don't be paralyzed by, is this the exact right optimal choice and what if it goes wrong? It probably will go wrong, and your group will have to improvise on the fly. Yes and the choices your fellow players make and the story elements they introduce. If the game feels like it's languishing and no one's doing anything, investigate something nearby.

Get a discussion going about best next steps. Sometimes by asking questions, you can actually get the story going forward. Twelfth thing I wish I'd known, it's a game, not a contest. Cooperation with your fellow party members is critical to success. You should never delight in your fellow players' failures. You get no bonus role-playing points, experience points, or awesome person points by being the best at combat, watching the fighter fail to convince the guard to take the bribe, or whatever else. Celebrate their successes. Celebrate all of your players' successes.

And when someone fails, rally around and get the discussion going about what we can do now. And dovetailing off of this, and I'm combining it into one point, cooperation with the DM and GM goes a long way towards a smooth running table. A cooperative table usually is a more fun table. The DM may be roleplaying the bad guys, but they want you to succeed. That person behind the screen rolling dice, making faces at you, and speaking in weird voices isn't your enemy. They want to have a fun evening of gaming, too.

Thirteenth thing I wish I'd known. Take notes while you're playing. I am guilty of not doing this as much as I need to. I need to get better at this. Jot down important NPCs, plot points, items mentioned, locations, and loot you collect. With two to three people taking notes, generally major plot points will get captured. You never know when you'll need to refer back to the location that you're going, the items you were asked to pick up, and who gets the necklace that you were asked to retrieve. Good notes keeps the game running smoothly and reduces the desperate discussions of, where are we meeting the buyer again?

Oh, the end name had an alliterative name. It was the Dragon's Dalliance. No, the Giggling Griffin. Barfing Boffin? The Upchucking Unicorn. I can't remember. Somebody look it up. Inevitably, the DM has to sigh and say, no, it was the Bareback Bugbear.

That's where you had to meet your buyer. Fourteenth thing I wish I'd known when I started playing D&D. Be open to meeting new people. I'm very fortunate that I have three campaigns that I regularly either play in or run, and the groups could not be more different from one another. There's one group that I've played off and on with since college. We met at university and game some during those four years. We all went our separate ways,

got married, and a lot of us wound back up in this same town, which wasn't even the college town or where we were born. We picked up some brothers-in-law to the core group. We're now back to gaming. Gosh, we've been playing about 15 years or so. We're close to the same age, mostly traditional gender identities, but we have widely varying political beliefs, but we have more in common than we have differences. Meanwhile, there's another group where I'm the oldest by about 10 years. It was a bunch of friends who wanted to get introduced to the game, but they needed a DM. I volunteered, even though I really didn't know any of them. I was kind of the outlier in that group, but I now consider some of them my closest friends, and I've been thrilled to watch as they

go through dating, marriage, adoption, having children of their own, etc. And we've been together for more than five years. The third group, we are all very different from one another. Very different political beliefs, sexualities, backgrounds, identities, but we're all united in that we love playing Pathfinder 2nd Edition, and we've formed a very tight-knit group very quickly. love playing Pathfinder 2nd Edition, and we've formed a very tight-knit group very quickly. Differences melt away so quickly when the DM says, Though I failed to kill your players last session, I really like my chances tonight, and we're off searching for pieces of an enchanted golem, ridding a town of its underground Pesh supplier, or trying to convince a minor nobleman that his underbutler is trying

to have him killed. This group games exclusively online, and although I've never met any of them in real life and only talked to them online, they are all still very dear friends of mine, and I love catching up with them before the game starts. We celebrate our life accomplishments, support each other through the hard times, and we love each other as if we have known each other for years.

When I started gaming, I didn't reach out to people who were very different from me in the way they looked, acted, or believed. The tiny town I grew up in was pretty homogenous and very closed-minded. Had I kept this limited view of the types of players and wanted to stick to gaming with old white cis pricks like myself, I would have been robbing myself of a rich set of friends and experiences and my life would be lesser for it. I'm sorry, I don't normally wax emotional about gaming topics, but I want to encourage all new players to be open to playing games with and accepting of players of all types. Fifteenth and last tip, be open to the game to find parts that you enjoy. RPG tabletop gaming allows you to do so much more

than like computer RPGs which are very limited by their programming. If you've played Skyrim, you've probably played a stealth archer. I've done it, you've done it, we've all done it, no judgment here. We exploit the stealth mechanics of the game to get through tough areas with relative ease. Plus, we've all probably saved the game once or twice and fuss row dodged Lydia off a cliff. You still sworn to carry my burdens, bitch? Say it again! Then we reload and we allow her to carry her burdens again. In tabletop RPGs, there's no save point, but there's also no limit at what you can try. You can solve problems with diplomacy, intelligence, bribes, skill checks,

using equipment in a creative way. There are a ton of options. Even if your character is built for combat, don't ignore the other aspects of the game. You may have never been on a stage or acted in your life. Even so, don't shy away from role-playing, even in a silly voice. The laughter will all be with you, not at you, and your table will be better for it. Okay, final bonus tip that I thought of

while I was recording this. Find your local RPG game shop and pay them a visit every now and then. They'll know when games are spinning up at their shop, they'll have great books and dice and miniatures available for you to purchase, and they're generally great people. Come to think of it, actually, I've got two good shops here locally, and I've only been to one since the pandemic restrictions were lifted. I think I'm probably going to go to the other one this weekend and say hi. RPGs around the table are opportunities to make new friends, tell stories together, yell at pieces of plastic for showing you the wrong number, and to use your imagination. Your problem solving will improve, you'll get that social

interaction that's good for all of us, and more than likely, you'll have fun doing it. Thank you so much for listening. I'm sorry I ran long this week. Please tune in next week, where I'll talk about one of my favorite things to do as a DM, skill challenges. Once again, I want to thank our sponsor, Lori and Maggie's Cheese Company. Because of a recent explosion, there's debris everywhere. This has been episode 85 of What I Wish I'd Known When I Started Playing Dungeons & Dragons. My name is Jeremy Shelley, and I hope that your next game

is your best game. The Taking 20 Podcast is a Publishing Cube Media Production. Copyright 2021. References to game system content are copyright of their respective publishers.