Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Armageddon - Ep. 54 - Into the Melding Pot

Episode Date: June 22, 2022

Ambushed by an assassin sent to kill Kyborg, the Interns reunite with an old friend that helps them track down a source of knowledge in the imposing Temple of Dia.  Check out our new Smarsh Is King Merch and follow us on Social: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Previously, our adventurers shopped their way to Boulderay. There, they ran into a raucous rally regarding a mayoral race with candidate Brink Tussler. Their old frenemy petitioned the party's help in pursuing a puzzling stalker. But after following leads and uncovering clues, their investigation was disrupted by a deathly detonation sent from Quadrant and the Quadrant Squadron. Hold on to your hard stuff, because we're about to take this tale by the horns. I don't watch other like D&D shows or like listen to many other ones. How many of these shows have to spend like the first like five, ten minutes of the episode reminding the players what happened last time you recorded?

Is that a common thing? Because I'm like, oh yeah, the explosion sounds familiar. Where'd that happen? Was that in the library with the Kenkus? Luckily for you, you're about to find out. Jarring footsteps clank from behind a row of bookcases. Jarring footsteps clank from behind

a row of bookcases. Out steps a hooded figure with two condescent orange eyes staring unblinkingly. An iron hand extends from beneath their cloak and points straight at Kyborg. Kydelius of Everwinter, Quadrant sends his greetings.

Five, four, three, two, one. I smack Kyborg's butt. No, we had to grab the Kankua kids. You hear a voice yell, Get down! and someone shoves you both to the ground behind a flip table. Kaboom!

Iron shrapnel explodes in every direction, clattering against the walls. Kyborg, with your head spinning and ears ringing, you manage to look up and see your rescuer still holding you down to the ground. It's a young half-elf with black hair wearing a red ascot, who you recognize as Meld Manor.

Oh! Wait, Meld Manor's daughter? Yeah! We love Meld! Meld! Oh, she saved me!. We love Meld. Meld. Oh, she saved me. Thank you, Meld. But also, oh no, Quadrant's back.

She asks, is everyone okay? Who saved me? Meld. She shoved you both down. I said, yeah. I don't want to share someone saved me with Kyborg. I want my own person to save me. What about the Kenku?

Are they okay? Well, it's either Meld or no one. They were far enough away. They were over closer to the entrance. You all had moved back to like closer to bookcases where this happened. Yeah, the Kenku are definitely startled and running around frantically. Wait, that dude was here too. The other mayoral candidate.

Oh, I'm okay if he died though. The explosion was very shaped, like a shaped charge. And it was just headed in your direction. It was shaped like Kyborg. That's what the explosion was. Meld asks again. Is everyone okay? We're shocked.

We're in shock. Yeah, shocked. You're not in here, Bart, are you? No. I believe Bart and Gum-Gum are still at the tavern. Yeah, I was going to say, I'm fine. I think, Refain, Wei, are you here?

Not to be rude or anything, but I'm just curious. What's up? She says, look, I can explain, but we should get out of here first. It's not safe. Let's head over to the Temple of Dia in town. I have urgent business with Pastor Ocean, and we can regroup with your friends there,

and I can explain everything. This is where Kyberg's going to get really serious and very moody. He picks up some ash from the ground, and he grips it in his hand, and then he wipes it on his hand. Kondren! And then he wipes it on his face like he's ready for battle. Roll me a perception check, Kyborg. At disadvantage because you have ash in your eyes.

You're about to tell me that that's can't-coo-poop, that it was like the kid's tin. Mud, why don't you roll one for me as well? That's a 14. That was the DM fishing for a better roll. Oh, I know this tune. for me as well. That's a 14. That was the DM fishing for a better role.

Oh, I know this tune. Mud, it seems to you that melt seems a little older since the last time you saw her, like older than you would think she would be based on the amount of time that's passed. It's probably because of like the time buffoonery that we were dealing with in Gettysburg.

What was it called? Urbloom. Urbloom. Did you say Gettysburg? Or it's her mom. I knew there was like, it just, it just, it feltom. Urbloom. Did you say Gettysburg? Or it's her mom. I knew there was like, it just felt right. Or, or, or this is a Terminator situation

and she's come back in time because I'm the hero of time and she needs to save me from Terminators sent by Quadrant because I have to save the planet. Or it's her mom. Or it's her mom. No, I mean she said, wait, no, my mom died at the hands of Quandran.

Quick question. What's your name? Kyborg. No, not you. All right, you got me. Kyborg. She looks at you a little puzzled and says, It's me, Meld.

Oh, right. So what's your skincare routine? Because I think we might need to switch it up a little puzzled and says, It's me, Meld. Oh, right. So what's your skincare routine? Because I think we might need to switch it up a little bit. You look a little bit like you got some sun damage or something. Maybe we get you out of some like manual labor you've been doing. What's going on? I promise I can explain everything. But why don't we regroup with your friends so I don't have to explain it twice?

Meld, Meld, Meld. Just tell him, come with me if you want to live. And then we're on board. Just say it, just say it. Cha-cha, cha-cha, cha-cha. Why don't you say it, Blaine? Okay, all right, all right. Hey, Mud, come with me if you want to live.

I give him a good berry. There you go. Moonbeams cascade from the starry night above. After a quick safety check of the perimeter, you two start making your way to the Temple of Daya along with Meld. Bart, oh God, I couldn't remember your name. Bart and Gum Gum.

It's funny, you can't remember Erbloom, I can't remember Bart. Especially because my name is Barbara and I'm a bard. That makes it extra funny you couldn't remember it. And you like to bark. Bark, bark, bark. Mud, perhaps you should send Gumbo

with a message to the tavern to have your friends meet up with you at the Temple of Daya. Oh, they're not at the church, they're at the tavern. Mud, perhaps you should send Gumbo with a message to the tavern to have your friends meet up with you at the Temple of Dahlia. Oh, they're not at the church. They're at the tavern. Okay, yeah. Yeah, I send Gumbo. Gumbo, and I tape a little note on him, and I give him a little pat on the butt and say,

go get my friends. Go get my friends. So, yeah, from your perspective, Bart and Gum Gum, you all are still at the Throne Gauntlet Tavern. Both of you roll perception checks. Do you see a badger? All right. Nine.

Nope. No badgers. That's going to be a three. Man, normally, Bart, you're all over those perception checks. I think it's because I've been drinking. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it could be. You both have been arm wrestling and you're having kind of a good time there in the Throne Gauntlet Tavern

and you hear Duncan call to you. Hey, isn't that your friend's badger over there? He points to the door as you see Gumbo walking in. No. Or crawling in the front door. What's a badger? Gumbo goes straight to the bar and gets up on a bar stool

and like hits his little badger paws on the bar like wanting like a beer. Or bar like wanting like he's looking everywhere but the badger just like back and forth Gumbo was also under explicit instructions that if they don't notice him to bite

Gum Gum's foot there you go ow who's attacking me it's a little who is this roll for initiative who are you

roll for initiative well you obviously recognize Gumbo immediately as being your assailant. Oh, you've changed sides, I see. Foolish decision, little one. You've changed sides. And I draw my weapon. Oh, my God.

Get ready. Gumbo's betrayed us. Hey, Gum Gum, just trust me. Everything's okay. Just put the weapon down. It's okay. It looks like the little fellow wants to tell us something. Gumbo bites him again.

Oh, no. He's telling us he's betraying us. Good boy. Yeah, you notice that he's got a note attached to him. Oh, my God. So let's put paper on him. Get it off. It's made him evil.

Bart picks up the note and reads it. You pick it up and you see a message scribed by Mud that's imploring you to meet them at the Temple of Dia. The note just says, take me to church. That's fantastic. I was along the journey. You got me there.

Take me to church? It's in code because we're... It's in code. We have to be stealthy. Yeah. They'll never figure that one out. All right. So I guess you all head to the Temple of Dia as well?

You got to say what you're doing. Before we do that, is there any way I could get another battle axe at the store or trade? Is that available? We're not there anymore. No, no, just a regular... They said they didn't have it.

They only had magic items. Maybe in the morning. It's nighttime right now. That's why the have it. They only had magic items. Maybe in the morning. It's nighttime right now. That's why the tavern is extra raucous. But probably in the morning. Okay. All right, let's go. And I pick up Gumbo with one hand and hold him out like he's a weapon.

Like he's a bomb about to explode. Okay, you all make your way over to the Temple of Dia from the Thrown Gauntlet Tavern. Holy Dia! Make your way over to the Temple of Daya from the Throng Gauntlet Tavern. Holy Daya! From where you are, it's pretty much on the opposite end of town. The Throng Gauntlet Tavern is kind of in the central western portion of Boulderay. And the Temple of Daya is out in the kind of the southeastern corner. It's actually closer over to the school. It's not too far from the school.

You all reconvene outside the Temple of Daya. Bart and Gum-Gum, you see your party members as well as Meld all standing in the shadows outside of the Temple of Dia. Cool. Is that Meld? It is indeed, Bart. What happened to you? Well, I have been on quite an adventure since we've last seen each other.

Who knows how long ago that was? Well, when you all went back in time to stop Slick, I was hiding nearby. I wanted to see the recapitulator in action. After all, I helped assemble it for you. But without realizing it, I went back in time with you. Oh no. As you can imagine, I was very confused. But eventually I saw an opportunity. With everything I knew about my father and his corruption, misdeeds, and that my mother had gone missing, I decided to find and free myself in this timeline. We'll call her Meld Beta. I snuck into my father's mansion and worked with

Meld Beta to come up with a plan to arrest our father and reunite Erblum. Then Meld Beta traveled to all the districts and told them the dirty dealings of our father's corrupt enterprises and complicity in the assassination of the guild head. Eventually, my father and his guild were tried and arrested for their crimes. Fletcher and Boone was voted in to take my father's place as the new district leader of Steinman. But that's not all. After that, the district leaders unanimously nominated Neld Beta to be the new guild head of Urbloom. I decided to seek out the inventor of the recapitulator, Howie Scream. I believe you

know him? Yes. We do. I found the Scream family and told them the story about my mother, Sedate Tempor. Together, we rebuilt the recapitulator and I began traveling through time, searching for clues as to what happened to my mother. Cool. I traveled to the past, but I simply couldn't find her. It's almost like she doesn't exist in the past anymore.

So I decided to travel to the future. That's when I uncovered the Tetragogs, a fourfold axis of evil that took over all of Phasa and rid the world of Arcana. There was no more magic. These tetragogs were led by a crimson cloud calling itself Entropa. I made haste, searching for the four of you to find out more about this bleak future, and that's when I found Kyborg, or should I say Kyd No! In that timeline, Kyborg was killed by that exploding automaton back there. It was sent by Quadrant, one of the Tetragogs. Kyborg's body parts were collected by Quadrant and reassembled into a perverse, reconstructed version of Kyborg

that would only serve Quadrant, henceforth known as Kyjron. No. I immediately traveled back in time to save Qyborg from this cruel fate. But as you know, the recapitulator is not an exact science. I must have come back earlier than I intended, so I decided to follow Brink around until Qyborg showed up back in town.

Since I saw you were all such good friends, I figured inevitably you would reunite with Brink. Well, yeah. Naturally. And that brings us back to the present, so to speak. So, um, could we get, like, a Sparks Notes version of that? That kinda was the Sparks Notes version of that.

So, Entropa is eventually going to take over the world and rid it of magic, and Klein's friend is one of his Tetragaugs? How many Tetragaugs are there? Four. Am I pronouncing it right? Tetragaug?

Tetragaug. Okay. What are the Tetragaugs? They're sort of Entropa's enforcers that oversee all of Faiza and impose their cruel will. Who are the other three? Entropa is one of the Tetragaugs, along with Quadrant and two others. Oh. Quadrant.

And who are you? Oh, Quadrant is one of them? Yeah. And who are you? Don't worry, Gum-Gum. We'll get you up to speed in just a bit. Okay. Also, quick, I don't know if you guys know Gumbo's evil. He might be one of the four quad...

Tetragogs. Wait, so the tetragogs, are they the ones in control in the future? Are they working for someone else who's in control in the future? Oh, no. The Tetragogs rule with absolute power. Do you know who the other two were?

I didn't have enough time to discover the identity of the other two Tetragogs. The only two I'm sure of are Entropa and Quadrant. Quadrant. Well, I see we clearly have a thing to do now in order to secure the future.

We have to kill Kyborg right now so he doesn't turn into Kydrin. Just in case. We have to kill Quadrin who tries to make me into Kydrin. Right, right, right. That plan will work, but only if we can absolutely hide all of his body

parts and keep them out of the hands of war no stop even so we have to dismember k-borg and hide his body parts in the four corners of the world we're not entertaining this campaign of stinky dragon where we hide all of kaiborg through time this is this is not we're gonna kill we're gonna kill quadrant and in the meantime we're gonna avenge my family because if you haven't been listening, he killed my family and my village, thus taking me down this spiraling path of revenge. And he also took my arm. And being evil.

And we have to not have that timeline happen. And in your timeline, did Paralite, is she still bad? I don't know what's good and what's bad anymore. My timeline is your timeline. timeline did paralyte is she still bad i don't know what's good and what's bad anymore my timeline is your timeline just extended over a longer period of time oh gum gum nods like he understands does mel mel does does your is your dad still alive did he end up not dying because from that t-rex or t-rex yes. Your actions reset the timeline in Urbloom and stop that timeline from occurring.

Oh, right. In our current timeline, my father is still alive, but he's imprisoned in Urbloom. Oh, okay. All right. I feel that Pastor Ocean here in the Temple of Dia

has information that can help me uncover the identity of the Tetragogs and help us defeat Quadrant and Entropa. Quadrant. Oh, it sounds like we should talk to the pastor then, right? Exactly. That's why we met here. Now, let's go in and talk to Pastor Ocean.

Let's go. Is his name Danny? First name, Danny. You don't know. Everyone just calls him Pastor Ocean. Pacific. Well, we go and talk to him. Where is this stupid man?

Give them a second to turn the page to the next portion. Right here at the temple. I like how Barbara thinks of the way that Gus is DMing. He's got a book full of just stories that he's inserted. A big old page. He's like, all right, next page. And you hear that little sound that tells you to turn the pages along with it. I blast the doors of the temple and do a barrel roll in with my bow drawn.

I'm not taking any risks. Yeah, that's good. Do an assault on a religious building and then roll in. You got it. Just for clarification, Micah is reminding me, when you all first came

to this temple previously, there was a sign when you came in that let you know that the pastor's name was Dev Ocean. Right. Not Danny Ocean. Dev Ocean. Got it. Wow, Micah. I. Not Danny Ocean. Dev Ocean. Got it.

Wow, Micah. I should have remembered that. So, Kyborg, you're kicking down the door of the temple. Is that correct? Doing a barrel roll in, yes, with my bow drawn. No, you know what? He goes to do that, and I notice it, and I shove him aside.

It's a roll off. It's a roll off. Do it. Do it. What is that, dexterity? Make a dexterity roll, Kyborg. Mud, make either a strength or a dexterity check. 24, 18.

18, yeah. You go to shove him, but Kyborg sees you coming. He's all amped up with all this quadrant use, and he manages to dodge out of the way. He makes an athletics roll to kick down the door. And 14. Yeah. The door flies open, and you somersault into the room.

I guess make an acrobatics check. 12. 12, yeah. Yeah, that's good enough. It's a somersault. It's not a flip or anything. You somersault into the room, draw your bow and look around. The doors immediately shut behind you, separating you from the rest of your party.

Uh-oh. Ha, ha, ha. Mortals are so predictably unintelligent. Cydelius of Everwinter, your life is at an end. Any last words? Cudging. Everyone go ahead and roll initiative. Oh, my God.

Aren't we outside the room? Yeah, this is how you resolve stupidity. 23. 12. The reason you're rolling initiative, just to I'd like to answer your question there, Barbara, is to know when you all would act as everything else is happening inside the room as well.

Gotcha. I rolled a one plus five, so it's a six. I have advantage on initiative. I rolled two ones in a's a six. I have advantage on initiative. I rolled two ones in a row. Why do you have advantage on initiative? It's one of my new level things. Oh, nice. So that's a three for me.

Gotcha. So Bart, from your perspective, Kyborg kicked down the door, somersaulted in. You were probably rolling your eyes as he was doing so. And then after he went in, the doors shut behind him and you heard some muffled voices from inside the temple. Everyone is now outside the front door of the temple, except for Kyborg, who is inside.

And he's clearly face to face with danger, as far as we know. I would say that's a safe assumption, but you wouldn't know definitively. Okay. Could I try opening the door? Yeah. You try to open the door as you normally would, but it appears to be locked. Okay. If only you had a lock picking kit. Could I cast heat metal on the door handles?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. I don't know if that'll work, like if it'll melt it. Yeah. You cast heat metal. The door handles begin to melt away. Woo! All right. And then could heat metal the door handles begin to melt away all right and then can i open the door yeah now you open the door and you see light streaming in through the windows of the temple giving it some illumination you see kyborg right on the other side of the door

and some evil looking automatons spaced throughout the temple how many you see four okay where in relation to kyborg are all of them? Because I imagine Kyborg's further into the room. He's just beyond the door. I assume like with his action, he was trying to like get in, keep the door behind him and, you know, survey any potential danger.

You know, the temple's very long. Like think about the inside of a church where it's, you know, way longer than it is wide. You know, all the times you went to church, Barbara. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's one kind of close to the door where you all entered, two mingled throughout the pews in the center of the temple, and then way at the far end at the altar,

there's another one over there. Gotcha. Well, I believe that spell was my action. I don't think I get any more actions at the level I'm at. I'd say you could move if you wanted to but that's about it okay the door opens so that's good yeah um i'll just move into the room but i'll stay like further back so like where the doors that we came in through yeah you can i mean there's a little bit if you want you could like offset yourself to the left or the right if you want or you can

stay pretty center by the door i'll go to the left left okay bart enters the temple and um stays close to that back wall to the left side. It is their turn. I cast invisibility. Just kidding. Too late. Heat metal is what you went with. It was a really good call. I feel like a horse's butt for charging in without the team.

That'll be my character arc with Quadrant. He separated me from my family, so now my new family, I have to rely on him. You learned to appreciate it. Right. That's your arc after 53 episodes of doing this with us? Is that what you suggest now, learning to work as a team? As I told Gus, 54 is my lucky number, so now I start learning. Okay.

I like how you're like, I'm just going to go and explain to you what my arc is. Yeah. I'm just going to go and explain to you what my arc is. Yeah. The automaton closest to you. Who? To you, Kyborg. Lowers an appendage, aims it at you, and fires.

It hits AC. Ooh, that's a critical. Critical hit. You take 22 points of damage. Ah. That's a big shot, Kyborg. And now you need to make either an athletics or dexterity check. I'm going to re-roll that.

It was a one. That was not good. No, it wasn't. I am lucky, so I will re-roll. That's not much better. Eleven. The appendage that gets fired at you, as it's about to impact with you, it opens up into a claw and it grabs onto you and attaches.

You're now tethered to this automaton. Then using that tether, it reels itself in with lightning fast speed and pulls down another appendage with a buzzsaw at the end and takes a swipe at you. This is where Kyborg dies. It hits AC 24.

All right, that's a hit. It does 10 points of damage. Condren, it's coming down. The two that are up in the pews, they're about 45 feet away. They move out into like a flanking formation. One moves to the left and one moves to the right. They close the distance coming down. They move down about 30 feet.

So they're 15 feet away from you. They both also fire off these ranged attacks at you. What kind of damage is he taking? Like what type? The first one, the ranged attack is bludgeoning. The other one, like I said, was a buzzsaw. That's a slashing. Okay.

Okay, yeah. The first one on the left side fires this ranged attack at you. Kyborg. Hits AC 11, which I assume is a miss. It's a miss. The one on the right does the same. AC 9, I assume that's a miss as well. It's a miss. Yeah. Alright, that is their turn. Mud, your turn.

So there's the one that has a hold of Kyborg and is shoving a buzzsaw into him. There's the two that flanked and shot at Kyborg. And then where's the other one? Way at the far back of the temple, still by the altar. That one has

not gone yet. Okay, so that one's a distance away. I'm going to do something I don't want to do and heal Kyborg. Why don't you want to do that? Because he doesn't deserve it. It might actually hurt his character arc.

Very true. Yeah. He needs to be broken down completely. Yeah. And by stunting that, I'm really taking away from him. We're not going to get to the second act alone if you heal him. Yeah. Chris.

Chris. So what Chris is saying is I should actually attack Kyborg right now. No. Not my friends. Not Tim Cotteran. All right. I cast Healing Word. It's a bonus action.

I'm going to cast it at third level to give as much as I can, which will be 13 hit points. Thank you, good sir. I also have that berry, but I guess that's an action on my turn. That's an action. To eat that single hit point berry would be an action. Alright, well then I'm going to hold off on that.

A terrible use of your time. You know what? Mud likes seeing what Bart did, and so I don't know how you resolve this with these guys, but the automaton to the left. I'm going to walk in and be at the door so I can see them and cast heat metal

on the automaton on the left. Heat metal on the automaton. I didn't realize you had that too, but hell yeah. You do heat metal on the guy that's got me in his metal claws. And I'm like, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. He just melts into Kyborg. Kyborg also has a metal arm.

I've had heat metal for a while. It was the way that I got those guys who fought us in the saloon with Howie to drop their stuff with. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. What's his name? Eric Bedore. What's his name?

Brink. Brink. So casting casting heat metal they can't drop i'm assuming they're made of metal right yeah it looks to you they're like iron automatons it looks like they have four limbs that each of them ends like in a hand sometimes it seems like they're walking on two of them like a biped and then sometimes they crawl on all four and they've got like four condescent orange eyes two on each side of its head that way you can see it it looks to you like you can see in every direction it's like general grievous meets ultron well good since they can't drop the thing they're uh automatically still attached to the thing that is heat when i do it so um after we resolve damage they actually are going to have both creatures holding

or wearing the object takes damage from the creature missing scene. It constantly saves and throws. Drop the object. If it can't, can't. If it doesn't drop the object, it has disadvantage on attack rolls

and ability checks until the start of your next turn. And you said this is what you're doing. You're targeting the one that ran up on the left side, right? On the left. Okay. Go ahead and roll damage.

It's 3d8. That's 19 fire damage. I don't like that. Yeah. You shed it. Okay. Go ahead and roll damage. It's three D8s. That's 19 fire damage. I don't like that. Yeah, you should it. Okay, yeah. The iron automaton on the left side that was closing the distance begins glowing, you know, with like orange heat from the heat metal.

Red. It's red hot heat. Red hot heat. It says it in the description of the spell. So I'm just... Red hot heat. Okay. You just made him more deadly, John.

Yeah, I know. Now he runs. That's kind of boring. You hear it say, Ouch, wait, I feel no pain. Is someone in portal? That's sound. Okay, is that it for you, Mud? Yeah. Okay, it's the other one's turn.

What's it gonna do when it comes for you? I think it's going to hold back for now and see how the rest of this plays out. The one at the altar seems to be surveying everything in front of it. You think you hear calculating? He's contemplating religion. He's getting smarter.

Kyborg, it's your turn. Okay, all right. Here we go. I'm in that guy's clutches still, yeah? Yeah, he's got like this arm that shot out and the hand is like grabbing onto you. What am I going to do to get out of this? Do I need to take an action or an attack to fight my way out?

You can make another athletics check to try to break out of it. Athletics check, all right. I do that and it is a 19. Oh, okay, yeah. You grab this like grappling hook hand thing off of you, and you drop it down to the ground. You're no longer tethered to this enemy. I bitch press it off.

All right, was that an action? Does he drop it like it's hot? No, we'll say that's a bonus action. Okay, so that guy's really up in my grill still then, yeah? Yes. Okay. With an attack of opportunity, if I were to fire past him, that okay with an attack of opportunity if i were to fire past him that's not an attack of opportunity right that would not provoke an attack of opportunity it's

just the movement in and out of melee range yeah how because how close is that guy the one that was just hugging me oh he's like right like right next to you melee range five feet okay actually you know i don't like that guy on me so i I'm going to take at disadvantage an attack with the longbow triumph. Okay. Go ahead and roll that attack roll. That's a 27 and a 19. So a 19. Yeah, 19.

That definitely hits. Okay. Roll damage. That's 10 points of damage. Okay. You don't want to do a bursting arrow? I don't want to do a bursting arrow, but I did get a new arrow it's

called a grasping arrow and i'm looking at this one it's creature hit by the arrow takes an extra 2d6 poison damage its speed is reduced by 10 feet and it takes 2d6 slashing damage for the first time on each turn it moves one foot or more it sounds like that's like more of a viney thing and it sounds like it's more useful against organics as it's a poison damage automaton right so no i'm gonna i'm gonna hold off on that but i've have a thing called the gift of the chromatic dragon chromatic infusion as a bonus action you can touch a simple or ah shoot i should have done that before i fired it off okay that was my first action i'm gonna take a second action but before i do that i'm gonna use gift of the chromatic dragon as a bonus action you can touch a simple or martial weapon

and infuse it with one of the following damage types, acid, cold, fire, lightning, or poison. For the next minute, the weapon deals an extra 1d4 damage of the chosen type when it hits. You can use this bonus action once per long rest. If I touch my longbow, does that infuse the arrows, or was that just the arrow it would work if you it's so it specifies you touch the weapon so i would interpret that as being the bow

however you used a bonus action to remove the grappling hook from you so you don't have any bonus actions available yeah yeah you're right you're right okay all right i'm gonna take another shot at this guy with the longbow triumph with my second attack. Alright, yeah, go for it. And this will be a disadvantage. So that's a 26 and an 18. Oh yeah, that still hits. Okay, badoom. That's a 10. Nice. Yeah, so Kyborg very quickly knocks two arrows and

fires them at the automaton in front of him, striking both times. The automaton is still standing, looking around, surveying the situation. Well, I'm all juiced up, so we're going to do an action surge! You can take one additional action on your turn. This can be used once per short rest. I'm gonna fire again

with the longbow triumph. This will be a disadvantage, however. It's a 23. 19. Oh yeah, you still hit. Piercing damage. 12. Oh yeah, nice. It's still standing despite your three arrows in it. One more shot with the old longbow triumph then. Would a 14 hit?

Yes, that actually does hit. Okay, a 14 and 24. I roll a 14 then. Okay. Do we shoot another arrow? It's a nine. Nine. Oh yeah, the automaton looks like it's in bad shape.

It's sparking a little bit and looks like it's falling apart, but it is still standing. Okay, that is my move. Strong boy. For my mental image, I don't remember. Mud, where did you move to? Just to the doorframe. Okay, so you're still standing at the door, kind of behind Kyborg at this point. Yeah, he's about to explode.

I'm pretty sure these guys explode. Yeah, you're really paranoid. Is that it for Kyborg? Not paranoid enough to not action roll into a closed building. I thought it was going to be funny. I thought I was going to walk in on like a priest doing some like I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to and then like I go in, there's four friggin

robots. Um, I guess I have a movement and I would be opening myself to an attack of opportunity but it might be worth it to get away from these dudes. Actually, no, they got that whole grappling hook situation. It's useless. Yeah, that's my move. That's it. Okay. Gum gum. It's rare that you're the last one in the initiative order, that's my move. That's it. Okay. Gum Gum. It's

rare that you're the last one in the initiative order, Gum Gum. Yeah. Those two ones. He's got advantage on it. Yeah. I'm going to Rage. Yes, Gum Gum. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. So I'll roll my Rage thing.

Which is a four? Let's see what that is. Flumph. Flumph. Flumph. Flumph. Flumph is three, I think. Magic if you use one weapon of your choice that you're holding until your rage ends, the weapon's damage type changes to force and it gains light and throne properties with a normal range of 20 feet and a long range of 60 feet. If the weapon leaves your hand,

the weapon reappears. Oh, yeah. Okay, cool. And then, can I run towards Kyborg without bumping into any of it like opportunity attacks? Yeah, because the closest enemy to you is the one right in front of Kyborg. Okay, then I want to throw my new axe, the friendly axe as I'm running. The friendly axe?

Yeah, the friendly axe. I want to throw it at the one in front of Kyborg. Is this the axe that's being infused with this magic from your wild surge? Okay. I want to make sure. So I'll make a attack. Yeah. Come on, GumGum. This is so cool. Oh wait, I just rolled damage. Sorry.

Only 54 episodes in. It's okay. He also rolls saves instead of checks. So that's a 29. Oh yeah, that definitely hits. Okay. You already rolled damage. Yeah, I already rolled damage. So that's a 29. Oh yeah, that definitely hits. Okay. You already rolled damage. Yeah, I already rolled damage. So that's 9 damage. 9. So you throw your axe and you

begin running. The axe strikes true, hitting the automaton and it falls over unmoving. Okay. As it falls over, you hear a beeping sound start emitting from the automaton. My god. It explodes into gear and flames.

Oh my goodness. I knew it. Tag us on social media using hashtag StinkyDragonPod, and you might even become an NPC in an upcoming episode. You've heard me talk about it before. Hey, you could be one of them. Also, I'd like to let you know our Smarsh is King shirt is available now. Imagine the most regal of gigantic purple worms clad with a shimmering crown. Can you visualize the beauty in your mind's eye? This, my friends, is what you could be adorning your stinky self with with a t-shirt found at the RT store.

100% of the proceeds go straight to smarsh so if you're truly loyal to the crown you know what to do hashtag smarsh is king head over to store.roosterteeth.com look at it for yourself we're also gonna be doing a special one-shot adventure at the upcoming rtx event here in austin uh you can get a ticket see it live rtxevent.com it's uh coming up soon it's the weekend of j July 1st to 3rd here in Austin, Texas. Special thank you to some of our voice actors, Shvindalin, aka Bezler, is voiced by Christian Young.

Brink Tussler is Eric Bedore and Meld Manor is voiced by Kayla Milton. Do you ever find yourself awake in the middle of the night reading real life stories that make your skin crawl? The creepy history behind Victorian nursery rhymes or tales of sleep paralysis demons perhaps you've seen the haunting images of corpses on mount everest read the last meal requests of

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So book with Air Transat today to embark on new adventures and make your travel dreams a reality. Everyone within 30 feet of it make a dexterity saving throw. So that's going to be... It'll be his friends. Everyone?

Yeah, everyone. Except for the dude in the far back. Yeah. I rolled an 11, but I'm going to use a lucky because I don't like that one. Sure. And GumGum,

you do have advantage on this because of your danger sense. You rolled a one. And I also have advantage of this because of your danger sense. You rolled a one. And I also have advantage of it too, right? No. 21 for Mud. 10. 10 for Bart. I rolled an 11 and then a

6. I'm going to go with, when was the critical fail? Can I go with the 11 or is that the most recent one? Wait, why did you re-roll? What action did you use to re-roll? Lucky. You choose to die with Lucky. I'm going to use another Lucky. This is a deck saving throw, yeah?

Yeah. Come on, come on. Give me something good. Kill Seph. Seph. I just wasted all my frigging Luckys, dude. All right. That's everyone's save, right?

Yeah. Unfortunately. So what did everybody, what damage did everybody take except for mud? Everyone takes 10 fire damage and 10 piercing damage. Gum Gum, you would take

half of the piercing damage, but you would take all of the fire. Okay. Okay, really quick. I have this thing called Gift of the Chromatic Dragon. Reactive resistance. When you take acid, cold, fire, lightning, or poison damage, you can use your reaction to give yourself resistance to that instance of damage.

So you could take half fire with that. Half fire? Okay, I'm going to use that. So I'm still taking 10 points bludgeoning or piercing. 10 piercing and 5 fire. Mud, since you made the save, you take half of each. So you take 5 fire and 5 piercing. Oh, he still oh he still gets damaged damn yeah usually saves are like that uh i'm gonna make uh dexterity saving throws for the two uh enemies who are also caught in this explosion

uh one of them succeeds one of them fails the automaton on the left side seems to duck out of the way of uh some of the gears that are flying it. But the one on the right takes a full force of the explosion. And then he explodes. It's just a chain reaction. That would be great. Okay, Gum-Gum. So you threw the axe and you caused a super cool explosion. And you're still running at Kyborg.

What do you want to do? Isn't explosion cool if you're in it? That's a good question. Only if you don't react. Yeah, I don't think GumGum reacted. He just took it in the face. So where's the furthest one away? The furthest one away

is the one way at the back at the altar who has not closed any distance on you guys yet. About 70 feet away from the door. Okay. What's she gonna do, GumGum?

Throw my axe at the one furthest away. Wait, you already threw your axe, didn't you? Yeah, but it teleported back to me. At the end of the turn, isn't it? No, immediately.

Mjolnir. Does it say immediately or at the turn? The weapon reappears in your hand at the end of your current turn. Oh. I like how Chris didn't check and he just said what he wants it to be. No, I thought it was.

I really did. Okay, well, I'll run to Kyborg. Can I pick it up? Yeah, you run up to Unmoving Automaton. Retrieve your axe. And then for my second attack, can I throw it again? I mean, he did explode. Maybe the axe flew back at him because it exploded.

And it took an attack at him. Sure, why not? You can throw it again. That's an 18. No, sorry, 20. Yes, that would hit. Yes, come, come. That's nine.

Nine points of damage. Okay, that's the end of your turn yeah and i hug up next to kyborg in front of him wait yeah you're 15 feet in front of kyborg now okay well then i back up to kyborg no you're out of move at that point okay okay so you're 15 feet in front of kyborg your turn ends and your axe reappears in your hand. We're back to the top of the order. Bart, it's your turn. Okay. I would like to give a motivational speech. Now's the time.

Now's Bart's moment. Everyone hush. It's Bart's moment. But at the fourth level. So if I cast this, I could target up to five people within range. Myself included, I believe. And everyone gains 10 temporary hit points. What do you tell everyone?

Hey, Kyborg. Yes, Bart? Screw Quadrant. Yeah, Quadrant. Hey, Gum-Gum. Yeah. You're my best friend. You're my best friend, too.

And Mud. Yeah. You're the prettiest one of the group. Well, I knew that already. What do you tell yourself, Bart? Bart, you are worthy. You are capable. You are taller than you think.

Yas, Bart. Yas, our short king. Our short king. Also with this this spell for the duration each affected creature gains 10 temporary hit points because it's at the fourth level uh if an affected creature is hit by an attack it has advantage on the next attack roll it makes so if someone gets hit then they get advantage on their next attack on their next love it yes uh She hasn't done anything yet, but what do you tell Meld for her motivational speech? Motivate her to do something. Hey, Meld, if you want to, like, participate.

Also, your dad was hot. Thank you. The cannibal? It's voiced by her actual boyfriend. I know, I'm still calling her out. He's a cannibal. Who knows what Bart's into? Mildred's initiative.

You've motivated her into action. Yay! There it is. She motivated the DM to remember there's an NPC that should be helping us right now. I got a lot going on. Gus gets plus 10 temp HP. Also, you guys should know,

once an affected creature loses the temporary hit points granted by the spell, so once you lose 10 more, the spell is over for you. Okay, so the advantage thing stops. Yes, but just for that creature. Yeah. And as a bard, one of my features is I could command as a bonus action, so I will command

the furthest left automaton to grovel. Nice. Wisdom saving throw, or follow the command on its next turn, and grovel would mean it just falls prone on its next turn and ends its turn. So it needs to make a DC 14 wisdom saving throw, if I'm reading this correct?

Yes, correct. And as an automaton, it would have zero wisdom because it's not actually something that a computer can have. That's right. If I know a quadrant is stupid automatons, they're not wise. It actually has a negative one to its wisdom saving throw. They're just evil. I think Gum-Gum

has negative one to his wisdom saving throw. Yeah. It would be super unhelpful if this happened but I feel like in character that every time Bart uses command I feel like Gum Gum would just automatically do it as well just as like a runoff of the magic

I feel like if I do it when I do a command my voice should get really low because since Bart is up here he goes, Bravo! I've said this and you guys didn't get the reference, but it's every time you do it, I think of the preacher's ability in the preacher comics,

which he has like the voice of God. And in the TV series, they did that every time he did it, it was like a chorus of voices all at a lower tone. It was really cool. That's what I hear. I think it's Dune. Every time you command it, your voice is actually modified in post. Oh, nice.

It sounds like they've been at Jesserit in Dune. Excellent. Yeah, so I roll the save. That's a failure on the save. So the one on the left side, first of all, it has disadvantage because of heat metal. And on top of that it is groveling on its next turn it's just melting it's so cool so he doesn't take an action basically

so metal right he will not it will not take an action on its next turn is that it for you bart yes because of your rousing speech meld uh charges up and runs straight at the automaton on the right side. Pulls out a hammer, swings it, and brings it down on that automaton, hitting AC. Oh my God. She rolled a one. She runs up to the automaton, pulls out her hammer, but drops it.

Is she a halfling by any chance? She's a half elf. Half elf. She's not super experienced in combat, apparently. She looks around with wide eyes to see if anyone noticed and quickly reaches down to pick the hammer back up. That automaton on the left side, it's their turn. It prostrates itself, begins groveling. Automaton on the right side that Meld ran up to, it's their turn.

And it, of course, is going to attack Meld, who ran right up to it. That's why she was hanging back. Ooh, one of its hands reaches out and attempts to take a swipe at Meld. It hits a C13, which is a miss. Yes. Go, Meld, go. I like that Meld ran up, whiffed, and then the robot in Reaniant Reaction also whiffed. It's the gif of the lightsaber fight in episode two. They're just shooting at each other, but not hitting.

But as it's doing that, as it's swinging at Meld, one of the other arms pops down in another direction and fires at Kyborg. A grappling hook at him, hitting a C13, which I assume is a miss. That's a miss. All right, Mud, it's your turn. Mud is going to

I guess go up to where Gum Gum is. Gum Gum is about, what, 60 feet from the furthest one? So he ran 15 feet, and he's about 55 feet away from the furthest one. Oh, that's a good amount of distance, just enough to cast Heat Metal on, well, first bonus action, Heat Metal damage on the one that's on the ground. The, that's a good amount of distance. Just enough to cast heat metal on... Well, first, bonus action.

Heat metal damage on the one that's on the ground. The one that's groveling? Okay. Go ahead and roll that. 18 fire damage. Does it get a save again or anything on that? No, because he can't drop his stuff. Okay.

Yeah, the one on the left side that's groveling begins glowing even redder and hotter. It seems like he's getting redder and redder and redder and then he explodes. Everyone go ahead and make that deck save. 19. Nat 20, 22. Nice. 14. Maybe 14's enough. 21. Let me roll

for meld as well. As weld. Hey. That's a, oh yeah, she rolled a 19. Yeah, everyone actually saves. Oh yeah. So everyone, yeah, everyone takes half damage. Everyone takes five points of fire and five points of piercing damage It's a good thing. We got that temp Is that everyone's temp damage gone then? Or temp HP I mean unless I use that gift to the chromatic dragon again thing saying where I'm resistant to fire

But it's only gonna save me from three points. Do you think that that's worth it? Well, how often can you use it? That's a good point. Yeah, I'm going to use Gift of the Chromatic Dragon, reactive resistance. Oh, is it not like, how many times can you use it? Three times. Oh, you didn't answer. Oh, no, I thought that was like a hypothetical

like, how often are you going to get attacked by fire or lightning? And I was like, you know what? You got to make a good point. So I'm i'm gonna use that and i only take half of the fire damage so is that two points are we running down to two yeah all right so i take seven points of damage yep do you still have the advantage thing he can pop it he procs it at will three up to three times so he has one more left right now i'm saying you have the the bart inspiration speech advantage yes i have three three temp hb so are you still okay oh wait i i have advantage i would still have it too because i would only take splashing

or piercing yeah oh yeah half of the piercing yeah so you take so that means both you guys have advantage on your next attack roll oh wow because you still have my motivation in your blood gross party boy killing it it's. It's all I could contribute because I'm not very powerful. Alright, Mud. Actually, is there a distance between the two remaining automatons that is over 30 feet away from each of them?

The other one's 45 feet to the altar. Yeah, they're both quite a distance from each other. More than 30. Then I go there. So between them. Yeah. Yeah, you can. I'm going to cast heat metal on the furthest mofo. Mofo. I'm only going to do that at second level spell slot, so it'll do a little bit less damage,

but they're still on automaton. They can't drop it, so now this guy is going to be on disadvantage for attacks. But he has to roll a save. The role is to see if they can drop it. Drop it like it's hot. But because I'm literally heating their body, I am so glad two of our team members have heat metal.

Yeah, shed your mortal coil, you stupid automaton. All right, and you're going to roll damage on that? 13 fire damage. 13. All right. It begins glowing red hot. Correct. Hachi chachi.

You get a heat metal, and you get a heat metal. What else do you want? You got anything else you want to do there, Mud? I do a curtsy and sit down in the pews. Okay. It is that automaton's turn, the one that's furthest away that you just cast heat metal on. Actually, is it actually, we never do this.

Could I actually go and crouch behind the pew for like some cover? You know what? We never use cover mechanics, but yeah, you absolutely can do that. There is a system for that in D&D. Then I'm doing that. Mud prostrates himself in the church and he prays, doesn't he, Mud? Yeah. I probably have some sort of deity that my druidic magic comes from.

Yeah. So we'll say hiding behind that pew like that gives you half cover. Okay. Which actually gives you plus two bonus to your armor class and dexterity saving throws. Heck yeah. That's cool. Just for reference, if you get three quarters cover, that's a plus five bonus. And if you have total cover, you cannot be targeted directly by an attack or a spell.

Love it. But AoE might still affect you okay so that automaton sees you lowers an appendage and fires a grappling hook hand in your direction uh mud okay oh it rolled a seven that is a miss since you are hiding so well behind the pew it flies well over your head mud giggles a little bit then it uh very speedily gets down on all four appendages and with lightning speed, crawls very quickly in a beeline straight at you.

Then one of its appendages takes a swipe at you. It hits a C12, which I bet is a miss. That is a miss. Way to go, Mud. He giggles again. Kyborg, it's your turn. Okay, here we go. What are the locations of the remaining two the only two

that are left is the one on the right side that's engaged in combat with meld and the one that's engaged in combat with mud up in the pews and where oh in the pews yeah well speaking of pews i'm gonna whip out this baby it's called the hand cannon an ingenious and hidden weapon built by an unknown artificer requires the wearer to be missing one of their arms it's basically a hand cannon. An ingenious and hidden weapon built by an unknown artificer requires the wearer to be missing one of their arms. It's basically a hand cannon that's stuck in my prosthetic arm. That quadrant stole from me. As an action, the wearer lowers the wrist of the prosthetic arm and fires a cannonball using the wearer's dex modifiers to a single target.

The shot deals 4d6 bludgeoning damage and 4d6 fire damage. If it hits in the creature, it must take DC 16 strength saving throw or be knocked prone. Wow. Yeah, I bought that. This is my new weapon. So I rolled a 16 plus a 24. That is a hit.

Wait, which one are you attacking? The one in the pews or the one on the right? I'm attacking the one that's attacking mud. Mud. Okay, the one in the pews. Okay, yeah, you roll a 24. That hits. And you said that was with advantage.

Oh, Kybor could have attacked with advantage, but he got it. Yeah. Roll one more time just to be safe. Because if it's a critical, then you do more damage. It's true. So if you roll a 20, it's more. So yeah, just go and roll it just to see if it's 20. It's 14.

Okay. Yeah. It doesn't matter. It hits regardless. Thank you, Barbara. Okay. The shot deals 46 bludgeoning damage and 46 fire damage if it hits the creature. Let's make a DC 16 strength saving throw.

This thing's going to blow up in my face. So I'm going to do 40 D6. One, two, three, four. This is for bludgeoning. That's a lot of dice. Kyborg is basically throwing a grenade at me right now. 17. And then this is for fire.

10. So 27 damage. 27. And then he needs to do his DC 16. Strength. Strength saving throw. That's a six. The cannonball hits the automaton,

which explodes into a giant ball of fire and gears. Make a dexterity saving throw on mud and only mud. Sorry. I'm sorry. It's a gift to me. You gave me HP. I take away your HP. Eight.

So that's 20. Yeah, you take 10 points of fire damage and 10 points of piercing damage. I'm hurt. Kyborg, it's still your turn. You have anything else you can do? Oh, absolutely. So now I'm going to look at the one that's attacking Meld, and I'm going to whip out the Olombo Triumph, because I

cannot get that hand cannon back unless I pay three gold pieces for gold powder and a cannonball after a long rest which is a brilliant brilliant idea I have zero money so you guys are gonna need to donate to the hand yeah mud you should be the first to donate because it saved you yeah saved me all right longbow triumph that's 25. And then because I have advantage from rolling again. So 19, I'll take the 25. That hits. Okay.

And that does seven points of damage. Okay. The automaton is still standing. It has not taken that much damage. Oh, but that was an arcane shot, Gustavo. Oh no. Which I'm going to just call this one. Micah suggests you call it Jeff.

Yeah. What? You said, I'm going to call this one. And you kind of trailed off. Oh, gone again. I'm not going this one... Micah suggests you call it Jeff. Yeah. What? You said, I'm gonna call this one, and you kind of trailed off. Oh, gone again. I'm not gonna do Bursting Arrow. I'm gonna just see, because we're gonna encounter these more often. I'm gonna try Grasping Arrow,

which is a creature hit by the arrow takes an extra 2d6 poison damage. Its speed is reduced by 10 feet, and it takes 2d6 slashing damage for the first time on each turn it moves one foot or more. The rambles last for one minute until you use this option again or until any creature uses an action to remove them with an

athletics check so what what the heck do i have to lose let's see if these guys can take poison damage all right so go ahead and roll uh 2d6 poison damage eight eight okay so it hits poison damage procs and a bunch of like brambles and brush grow out entangling up the automaton. The automaton just begins laughing. Ha ha ha ha. So can I perceive if that did anything, if that did any additional damage to the poison? Yeah, make a perception check. I love D&D.

15. You cannot perceive any change seem to have happened within the automaton. Okay, well, he's stuck in brambles, so he'll take an additional 2d6 slashing damage anytime he tries to move. And then I want to move 31 feet away from that thing. That automaton. Yeah, you weren't right next to it. Yeah, you'll just make sure you're more than 30

feet away. I see what you're saying. Yeah. Gum gum, you're up. So there's that just the one that has the Brambles now? Yes, that is correct. That is the last one. Next to meld. And it's next to meld. And how far away is that from everyone? Far enough for me and Kyvork. I think pretty much everyone,

except for meld at this point, is more than 30 feet away from it. Okay. How far away from it am I? You're pretty close at the border. If I had to say, you're probably 35, 40 feet away, something like that. Okay.

I'm going to run up to it and just attack it with my um random acts of kindness okay all right so i have advantage so the first roll was a 10. all right that's a 26. believe it or not that hits believe it or not so that's the 13. 13. okay yeah you uh swing your axe doing 13 points of damage the atomic gun is still standing there between you and Meld. I hit it again with my other axe, so that's 14. 14, that hits. All right, rolling damage for that.

15 damage. 15. The automaton explodes into fire and metal. Both you and Meld need to make a dexterity saving throw. Okay. I don't like this theory of us destroying something and us getting hurt at the same time quadrant's ruthless like that barn meld makes her save quadrant that's right

not even lower uh that's a 19 uh you take half five points of fire and five points of piercing damage. But you are raging, so you take seven points of damage. All of the automatons are now exploded. There's only remnants of them and pieces of them spread about the temple. Way to go, team. This temple is probably kind of ruined, right? It's a little crispy.

Just four explosions inside of this temple. Milt says, we have to find Pastor Ocean. That's right. That's why we came to this place in the first place. Oh, yeah. She begins running up to the altar and the pipe organ at the back of the temple to see if she can find him. Mud follows her to help look. As does Guy Borg.

Not that he knows what Pastor Ocean looks like. I start calling out to him. Padre, where art thou? Those of you who run up to the altar find Pastor Ocean bound and gagged at the organ, which is just off to the side from the altar. I take an arrowhead and I cut him loose from his bindings. I mean, I don't want to yuck anyone's yum.

Yeah, you should ask first. Oh, thank you so much. I was ambushed by these creatures. They tied me up here. I believe they were laying some kind of trap. It worked. I'm glad you all survived.

Oh, Dyer, bless you. Here, the least I can do to thank you. Let me give you a small reward. Oh. And he starts like patting around on his robes and pulls out five sticks of incense and a book and he offers them up. Wow. I appreciate it.

Got any maybe like healing potions or weapons or anything useful? You look and there's a title printed on it that says the diary. And to answer your question, Bart. Oh, yes, yes, of course. Thank you. And that means what? Bart puts his hands out because he doesn't know anything about religion.

So he doesn't know like how it works. Each of you can get a healing potion. Sweet. Can I take it? I'm just going to show you right now. Yeah, go for it. I too would like to use a healing potion. Sweet. Can I take it? I'm just going to chug it right now. Yeah, go for it. I too would like to use a healing potion. Yeah, I should as well.

2d4 plus 2. I will take 8. I get 9 back. Awesome. I will take 6. I'm going to take another one because I had another potion. So the book says diary? The diary. The diary. And I assume it's spelled diaaya, like the holy Daya.

Yeah, yeah. D-I-A. D-I-A-R-Y. Can Mud grab the book? Yeah. Okay, Mud grabs the book. Who's grabbing the incense? This is special incense, you know.

I'll take one. I love incense. I'll take one. I think we should distribute amongst the team. Everybody gets one incense. Is it four total? Five. Five.

So Meld can get some. Meld can take one too. Gumbo reaches out and takes one as well. Okay. Oh, not melt? Gumbo can have it. Yeah. Use that at a time of need. It's very special. Diarrhea and incense.

Diarrhea and incense? Excuse me? Well, we're not going to eat it. I already have enough problems with diarrhea what are we adding block of incense diarrhea and incense yeah but in in our in dnd beyond what are we adding probably just type it in all right yeah yeah just put it in sense and don't write incest accidentally. From a metagame perspective, the incense does allow you to channel like divine knowledge that could help you make a decision if you wanted to. Very strictly speaking, it's like grants you access to the spell Augury. Augury.

I don't even know what Augury is. A divining spell that allows you to receive otherworldly knowledge that helps you decide a course of action. You receive an omen from an otherworldly entity about the results of a specific course of action that you can plan to take within the next 30 minutes. Interesting. So probably less of a fight thing

and more of a we need to make a decision, let's light up some incense and meditate on it. Well, what did Pastor Ocean say? He said use this at what time? Of need. Just a time of need? Yeah. Okay.

A time of mead? Mead. Like drinking time? Mead. Oh, okay. So when we're making dough. Got it. Get out of my house.

I'll take my inspiration, Dino. Okay, now that he's given us all these gifts, I say, all right, let's get to the chase. What can you tell us about Clontrin? And Meld asks, What can you tell me about the lore of Dia? Speaking of which, is there anything you all want to know about Dia, maybe specifically?

I'm not very privy to what sort of deities are part of this land. Is Dia part of a pantheon of other gods? Does she have like brothers, sisters, enemies, that kind of thing? Yes, there are other deities, not necessarily siblings to Dia, but there are others that do exist,

of which we hold Dia highest and most holy. Yeah, why is that? Why is Dia here? Is this like a local thing? Is she region locked? What's going on? Well, Dia is responsible for creating our world, Phaser. Long ago, an ancient deity named Serendia

entered the material plane and saw the chaos of the world tearing itself apart she stepped into the disarray and was able to bring peace and harmony to all the lands she used her celestial powers to bring all the lands together as one and she called it phaser which we still call it to this day all across the lands of phaser everyone called her queen dia and built temples in her honor it is said she roamed the lands visiting the temples and dwellings of all the people far and wide oh was she the tree lady uh no she was she the tree lady? Uh, no, she was not the tree lady. That was a different... Oh, that was...

That was Andi. Yeah. I step up and I say, Mr. Ocean, I'm a Kord man myself. That's the deity that I respect the most. What's Dia's relationship with Kord? Kord is another of the deities who exist in the planes. Kord has not had as much direct intervention in the world in Phaser.

However, there is no animosity between Dia and Cord. All right, sick. Yeah, I love Cord. Cord's the man. We revere Dia for creating Phaser and for her love of the people of Faiza. It is said that her love for the people of Faiza was so abundant that it brought her to tears. It is said there were six of these celestial tears, and they were gifted to humanity, the gift of Arcana. Do we know who received them or where they are? That's actually a really good question.

These sacred tears were passed down by the Diarians who were the scribes of Daism. They were known as Source, Reach, Force, Virtue, Breath, and Gaze. One more time? Source, Reach, Force. Bart can only type so quickly, okay? Source? I could only type in my mind so quickly. Source? Reach, force. Bart can only type so quickly, okay? Source? I can only type in my mind so quickly.

Source? Source? Reach, force, virtue, breath, and gaze. Oh, I love that last one, because it is Pride Month, so. However, legend says that a cloud of evil entered the world of Phaser, jealous of the love of Dia in the people. The cloud of evil severed the world into separate lands, dividing them by ocean of water. This is called the Fracture of Phaser. It was during this fracture that the Diagens were lost deep within the various lands

across the world rumors circle about the location of said gems and that of their power but no one has claimed to have found them ever since the fracture no one has seen or heard from dia we pray for the day when she comes to visit our lands and reunite Phaser once more. So, if theoretically we were to bring back these six Dragon Balls, I mean Dia Tears, does Dia appear

and give us a wish? Or is it like Shinran? Or... It's all Dragon Ball Z references. Captain Planet kind of thing. There's much mystery surrounding the reunification of the Tears of Power. It's unknown. Well, I've got good news for you because a while back,

we were given the job of trying to find all the Infinites, and we totally found all of them and brought them back in one piece. So we are the right people to again go find these hidden and sacred things. Just don't ask where they're now, where the infants are now. They're at a farm upstate. Yeah. Also,

do we know anything about Dia and their relationship with uh it's the big bad it's Entropa... Entropa. Entropa. Entropa. Ah.

Entropa. Entropa. It's unclear exactly what their relationship is between Dia and Entropa. I think it's bad, just based off of what I know. I feel like there should be at least one... Wait, we know about the Diaagem that was under the lake. What color was that darn thing?

Green? I think it was like blue. I don't remember what color it was. I feel like I remember Gus saying it was like glowing green, but I could be completely incorrect. Can I roll for memory? You can make a wisdom saving throw. See if you remember. 22. you call it being a a beautiful

indigo color oh not neither of us okay so mr ocean do you know with the purple do you know do you have any uh information on like which ones for which because we know of the existence of the purple one it's not in our we don't have. We just know of its existence. Indigo, not purple. Indigo's purple. Indigo's purple. No, it's not. Well, now we're just going to call it purple. So, this purple diagem. Indigo is not in our vocabulary.

Do we know anything about that one? Oh, we have no direct knowledge. This happened so long ago, we don't know the specifics about them. Alright, so long ago, we don't know the specifics about them. Alright, so what about, do you know the possible location of any of the other ones that are maybe

nearby that we could go fetch? Oh no. If I knew, I would be working to retrieve them myself. During the fracture, they were lost, far and wide, deep within the various lands of the world. At this point, Milt says,

Perhaps it's best now that we reunite with Kyborg's friend, Brink Tussler. Not a friend. We'll see what he has to say, and maybe we can ease him in his paranoia. Maybe we could also take a little bit of a rest, because we just got a little banged up, folks. What are you talking about? I feel like my friend Gum-Gum's going to keep asking for a darn axe if we don't go find an axe at a shop It's still nighttime now, but perhaps you know if you

And and wait till the morning in Boulder you can find one. All right, nonny's Hey, can we since we saved you and your church you might if we like crash here for the night? We can't we just go home. I would be happy to provide you sanctuary But the church is in a bit of disrepair Can't we just go home? I would be happy to provide you sanctuary. But? The church is in a bit of disrepair from the damage of your most recent encounter. All right. You all do have your infinite headquarters

you could return to in Boulder. It's a rare instance where we're actually in the town where our rooms are. Before, we've had a fork in the road, and we're like, we could just go the extra mile. Let's just go a little bit further, and then we get in another encounter, and then we get our butts kicked. So that's before. We've had a fork in the road and we're like, we could just go the extra mile. Let's just go a little bit further and then we get in another encounter and then we get our butts kicked. So that's fine. It's fine.

So Mud goes home. Okay. You can sleep in this ash and smoldering pews and everything like that. So yeah, like I said, the church is off kind of in the southeastern corner. You begin walking back to the center of town to get back closer to Infinite Headquarters.

And you manage to reach the other side of town safely and quietly. You know, maybe despite everything that's been happening, your luck is finally starting to kaboom, pop, pow, explosions burst nearby. But they don't sound like squadrons. No, they're fireworks. You round the bend and come upon an even larger crowd huddled around the throne gauntlet tavern, cheering and drinking. Amongst the crowd, you spot Dr. Ahem in much higher spirits than before.

He lifts the stein up into the air. Three cheers for our newly elected head of boulderay, Mayor Brink Tussler. And the crowd begins chanting, Hip Hip Hooray! Hip Hip Hooray! Hip Hip Hooray! Brink begins addressing the the crowd begins chanting. Hip hip hooray. Hip hip hooray. Hip hip hooray.

Brink begins addressing the crowd. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, my Boldarians. But I must confess, I would not be here today if it were not for four individuals. Nay. Four friends. Rustbucket.

Mud. Bart. Even Gum Gum. Are you out there? Come join me up here. Come up. Come up. Come up.

Okay. All right. This isn't going to go to his head whatsoever. Let's go. All right. As you all approach the front of the tavern, Duncan hands each of you your favorite drinks of choice. Boulder Ray, we owe a great debt to these four heroes. And as my first act as your mayor, I hereby promote these four brave

warriors from interns to infinites! Yes! Fantastic! Tomorrow, my friends, the real work begins. But tonight, tonight we drink!

And the crowd erupts into cheers and raucous music fills the air. Guys, we finally did our mission. We found all the Infinites. The Infinites were the friends we had all along. That's it for this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Find out what the Infinites get up to next episode. Whoa, we've graduated. Does it come with a, wait, does it come with a pay raise?

TBD. Find out next week on... That's a no. That's a definite no. Your Foursomeness, I bring news of Cydelius. Yes, yes. What is it? Has he been captured? Negative, Your Foursomeness. What? it? Has he been...captured? Negative, your foresomeness. What? How? He eluded the squadron, sir. With help from friends, sir.

And, uh, well, there's more, sir. More? What? Now? Kydelius and his, uh, friends have just been named the new Infinites, sir. Kyborg! Time to go back where it all began Alone in the woods without a plan A blonde-haired elf without an arm Shivering in the icy cold

Picked himself up and wiped off those tears. Trained in the trees to shed his fears. He's faster, he's stronger, still awkward as hell. But he's ready to fight, time to ring that bell. Oh, draw the bow. Take it in, roll the dice. Oh, let it loose, arrows fly, pierce the sky. Kaibo the Mighty He's gonna go left To do what's right Kaibo the Mighty His target is said

Bullseye on iron Armed with an arm that is not his arm A family's gone but living in his heart Hunting for quadrant and a squadron too Hungering for sweet revenge Rushing in a battle ahead of his friends They all sit back and just shake their heads Backflips and barrels and summer assaults Leading the charge with an action stage

Oh, draw the bow Taking aim Rule the die? Oh, let it loose, arrows fly, pierce the sky. God Almighty He's gonna collect To do what's right God Almighty His target is set It's time to say Bon Voyage

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