Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Armageddon - Ep. 63 - Flats Lady Sings

Episode Date: August 31, 2022

The Interns start their harrowing escape from the Tabulian Lair with the help of an old friend. Will they make it out with all their limbs intact? Find out in the thrilling conclusion to the Armageddo...n arc!  Follow us on social media: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Check our our merch: https://store.roosterteeth.com/collections/tales-from-the-stinky-dragon Red Web is available wherever you listen to podcasts! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Rooster Teeth Production. Good afternoon to all you Armonites! Gallop on in to the Stinky Dragon, guzzle our newest gulp, says Hoov! It's a mixture of Whiptailtail whiskey, shock, and syrup, a spoonful of marmalade topped with serrated soda water. One sip of this abyssal beverage is enough to get anyone off their high horse. Previously, our adventurers happened upon the heart of the Tabulian lair where a plethora of pies were being imprisoned by Quadron and his squadron and swarms of taboo liens the party fought their way through foes experienced heavy blows and eventually they were assisted by an
Starting point is 00:00:51 older bloom ally Smarsh the purple worm king but with the taboo lien layer coming a tumbling down can the party get back to town claw cold one a cold one, let's continue ourarsh breaks through into the cavern. What? Smarsh! Smarsh is king. Smarsh is king! He begins riding around, smashing the remains of the squadrons and pummeling Quadrant. Smarsh is riding around in a fit of excitement, crashing his colossal purple head into each of the cave walls.
Starting point is 00:02:09 Oh, Smarsh, Smarsh, Smarsh, Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! Smarsh! veins smosh plunges into one of the cracked walls and the entire cavern begins crumbling upon you everyone needs to make a dexterity saving throw oh dear smart chill smarsh you're a good good boy 24 for bark ooh bart's a little dexterous boy. 21. Ooh, Mud 2. 22. Oh, wow. All above 20s. Gum Gum. 12. And then there's Gum Gum.
Starting point is 00:02:31 That's not too bad. You all managed to see all the stalactites tumbling down and dodge out of them successfully, but not Gum Gum. No. Gum Gum gets hit full on with one of the stalactites that's falling and takes 22 points of bludgeoning damage. Oh, I think Gum Gum's down. No. No. No. Yeah, that wouldudgeoning damage. Oh, I think gum comes down. No, no, no. Yeah, that would have killed Kybar. Also, I'm raging currently, so
Starting point is 00:02:50 you need to attack every round for a rage to continue? Which I've been doing. Are you insinuating combat is over? If combat is over, I would still be raging. How long do you rage after combat? Six seconds. Or do you take, is like bludgeoning damage type of damage you take less of?
Starting point is 00:03:05 If he's raging. You rage ends if you're knocked unconscious or if your turn ends. Okay, and you haven't attacked across a hostile creature. Okay, blah, blah, blah. So you have not had a turn end where you did not attack a hostile creature. I'm saying this in your favor.
Starting point is 00:03:18 You'll take 11 points of damage. There you go. Just because combat literally just ended. It's so funny when we first started playing and we were like level one, 22 points of damage would have killed one of us. Oh yeah, just immediately. What's funny is, you know,
Starting point is 00:03:31 as we level up every time we do the between the tails, you're like, oh, we have so many hit points. We're never going down. Oh, I have so many new abilities. Like, yeah, the enemies are also, and the damage also ramps up too. It scales with it, which I didn't realize. We need to do this more
Starting point is 00:03:45 like i play my video games where you just do a lot of side quests and get overpowered and then go do the stuff we just go grind for yeah just go behind hey speaking of i think you're speaking of hit points uh i'm on my last leg if anybody has like a health potion or anything did you just take as cyborg is whining uh a crimson cloud swoops in through the Fang Ma cave opening and begins floating around and makes a beeline straight for Gum-Gum. Does Gum-Gum recognize who this is? Do I recognize who this is? Gum-Gum, you're holding the quadrant's eye, right? Yes.
Starting point is 00:04:21 The cloud starts swirling around Gum-Gum, trying to pull that orange eye out of your hand. Gum-Gum, protect the eye! Swallow it! Swallow it! Make a strength check, Gum-Gum. Stick the guy in your bum-bum! Bum-bum. Bum-bum-bum-bum. Strength check, not a strength save.
Starting point is 00:04:38 Wait, I have advantage on strength saves too. It's still raging. You rolled 24. 24. Take that, cloud! 24. Uh, you know, cloud. 24. Yeah. You clasp your hands together around the gem, trying to hold it tight, but you feel your fingers start weakening and open up, and the gem flies out of your hands, swirling around into the cloud.
Starting point is 00:04:58 Even with a 24? Mm-hmm. Chest up your butt. That's my next move. You hear a laughter seemingly coming from everywhere in the cave. It's not funny. And the cloud quickly makes for one of the fractures and dissipates. So the gem is gone and that cloud is gone.
Starting point is 00:05:19 Yes, correct. Wait, that must have been that guy that we found frozen. Archie? But like evil Archie. Oh, Entropa. Hey, there it is. Bart's already got an inspiration. I mean, I think Kyborg queued me up.
Starting point is 00:05:41 The lair is collapsing faster and faster. Smarsh looks around with some urgency. You did this. And you hear, Smarsh, leave. And he begins very quickly burrowing at one of the walls, seeming to make a rapid escape. Smarsh, may we ride you? Smarsh stops for a second and says,
Starting point is 00:06:07 No space. Smarsh, leave. Stage left. Okay. Smarsh doesn't care about the people. And he's like, not my king. I know. I love this. If you think about it, it's like, since he's burrowing straight through rock, there's no space for you to get on top of it. Like, you would be burrowing through rock, too.
Starting point is 00:06:24 Got it. He says, Smarsh lead, you follow. Smarsh is a wise king. Follow Smarsh. Smarsh give to people. Smarsh giver, not taker. Bart gets down on his knees and starts
Starting point is 00:06:40 bowing. What are the Tabulians doing? You know, initially there was one group that you had kind of talked to, and they're still looking around, seemingly panicked. However, now other Tabulians are also rushing into the cavern that were not here before, and they look like they're angry. Y'all are going the wrong way!
Starting point is 00:06:56 We need to leave, not come! Smarch is your god! He's giant and no hands, and he looks just like you, but he's big. Any of the Tabulians who were injured or killed, can I try and pick them up, gather them? You want to pick up the dead tabooleans? Yeah, or the injured ones. I don't want them to get crushed in the cave.
Starting point is 00:07:14 I mean, they might be able to still make it out if Marsh is leading the way. Yeah, I mean, it'll put some extra weight on you, but you can try. Okay, yeah. Gum-Gum, you should wear them like one of those Scarfs you know like the feather kind what they call those Yeah, net You better figure it out fast cuz those caverns are the taverns the cavern is uh is collapsing all around you How many are there what injured and dead ones? Yeah? We'll say there are four there's two injured two Braid them together to make them more efficient for carrying.
Starting point is 00:07:45 You could friendship bracelet all of them and then attach it to your arms and then run, dragging the taboo liens behind you. I hate setting up things for you, but that's just a really funny mental image, and I wanted to see that happen. Especially because there's snakes in these little things. And I have my rat. I think I have a rat blanket, and I'll put that down so it glides. So it's a little more comfortable.
Starting point is 00:08:08 As this is going on, Bart is starting to go towards the hole that Smarsh has created. Bart's a smart boy. And is ushering the rest of the Tabulians to come with me. Come with me if you want to live. Mud has been waiting for an opportunity to also say that he's running to the hole. While he runs to the hole, he also casts Healing Word at level four on the dying fighter. Kaiborg, while he's doing that,
Starting point is 00:08:31 make me a perception check as well. Okay, all right. I'm going to go with this, and then a little bit of that, and it's a 17. You hear some of the new Tabulians that have entered the cavern yelling to each other in Draconic. They're saying,
Starting point is 00:08:44 They're kidnapping our friends. them uh uh uh uh all right uh the entire chasm is collapsing oh i'm sorry uh you healed him a little bit right mud 12 hit points i could use i cast healing word on gum gum as well thank you let's just burn slots why not can i start running for the hole but then also call back to the two bullions? Sure, why not? Okay ice before the first time I speak in draconic I break this whole Bruce and I say Bruce Bruce Bruce The roost is broken. I say we're not kidnapping. We're trying to save them. We need to get out of here Follow us follow us. We're friends make a deception check
Starting point is 00:09:23 We need to get out of here. Follow us. Follow us. We're friends. Make a deception check. Deception? Why? I'm not deceiving. I'm trying to help. Oh, wait. No, you're right. You're right. Make a, uh, not deception then. Charisma, maybe? No. Persuasion? Persuasion. But I need you- in order to really sell it, uh, we need to hear you say it in Draconic. Okay. Uh, you wanna do this at advantage or something? Cause I just got a one. Oh, it's really bad then. How does that- how does a bad draconic persuasion sound taboo and then you vomit that guy's insulting our mother get him no no no no no gum gum gets
Starting point is 00:09:57 18 points of health thank you you're a very kind mud i give you i bolster your magic you get a spell slot that's fine mud is literally running down this tunnel that Smarsh has made. Let's get out of here. I'm running. Can I pop the cork on a potion of healing and chug that as I'm going? Let's just get out of here.
Starting point is 00:10:13 I'm so thirsty. You reminded me of something. This is kind of an aside and separate from what's going on here in the moment. But Micah and I were talking the other day and he heard about an interesting table rule that someone had come up with regarding potions of healing. And I think we should apply this to this campaign moving forward.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Okay. It's good for you guys. So we've always had questions and, you know, we've been kind of back and forth about whether or not drinking a potion of healing, you know, takes up your whole like an action or if we can do it as a bonus action. So this table rule, which will be the rule going on from now forth, we will say you can drink a healing potion as a bonus action and roll for it like you normally would. Or if you take the full action to drink the healing potion, then you get maximum healing from it.
Starting point is 00:10:57 Oh. Interesting. So full action, full healing, bonus action, you roll for it. That's great. I like that. So if you wanted to drink one right now as a bonus action, you could do it, but you have to roll for it. I'm chugging. I'm chugging it. I'm going to go for it. Two, four. Bonus. Yeah. I should take the full action. Six plus two, eight. There you go. I can't give you a spell slot. It's only one per long rest
Starting point is 00:11:18 for each person. And then one more point of clarity. Thank you, Ben, for asking about it. If you use an action to give someone a potion, like you pour it down their throat or whatever, then you roll for it. Because that's like essentially two actions, the giving and then the person taking. Okay. Anyway, okay, sorry. So we're going to be running this escape from the cavern like we've done before. Like you remember when we did going down the river where it's going to be a series of skill
Starting point is 00:11:39 checks and someone has to describe their solution and roll an appropriate check as obstacles appear in front of you. And a party member can offer to help another party member by making a skill check. And if they're successful in making the assist skill check, the scenario skill check lowers by two points, but if they fail, it raises by two points. So it's kind of like a risk as to whether or not when you're helping.
Starting point is 00:12:01 Okay, so everyone's running down the chasm that Smarsh is so graciously providing for you, to Booleans in hot pursuit. And as you're running through this tunnel, there's a loud crack and the sandy ground before you suddenly collapses and opens up into a fathomless chasm of blackness below. The gap to the other side is about,
Starting point is 00:12:19 let's say it's 60 feet long and 20 feet wide. The ceiling is about 15 feet high and you can't see how deep the chasm is. But we can see across. Yes. Come on. You're up. No jumpies?
Starting point is 00:12:30 Do we have a running order? I have jumpies, but I'm a little burdened. Oh, okay. I have got the jarring jumping jab. I turn into a giant bat and just fly across. So the cavern is 60 feet wide. Like, you'd have to jump 60 feet across. And then the width of the tunnel
Starting point is 00:12:47 that Smarsh is creating is 20 feet. Okay. Okay, so it's 60 feet long. Correct. And 20 feet wide. Correct. Okay, then I stand by what I was doing. I turn into a giant bat.
Starting point is 00:12:56 I ask someone to attach, I guess, can I carry them all? I can't. How much can a giant bat carry in D&D? Could you turn into that mobile and we could do the cowabunga thing? I mean, you do the cowabunga, I'll pull it. All right. Well, you have to turn into something probably that... Giant bat is what I've been using to carry us.
Starting point is 00:13:15 Cowabunga! Giant bats who screech. You deploy the mobile. Yes. And you're going to fly across. Yes. We all said yes at the same time. Very cute. Affirmative.
Starting point is 00:13:28 Alright, I mean, this should be pretty straightforward. Why don't we have a mud... I mean, you've done this a few times. Just make a... We'll call it a... What do you want? Strength? Yeah, let's do a strength check. Strength check. Pushing button now. Strength check. 15. 15, yeah, that's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:13:44 Yeah, you're able to get on there Everyone loads up very quickly Into the Ammobile And you fly right across the chasm And you land on the other side I'm just gonna stay as a bat Does Bart put his hands up
Starting point is 00:13:53 Like a rollercoaster Every time Yeah Anytime Bart is in something That's moving He goes like Puts his arms up in the air What's the status of the Tabulians
Starting point is 00:14:00 That are chasing us Wait they're chasing us Yeah You have their friends I tried to tell them That they were We're trying trying to rescue them but i watched that they're in pursuit of us yeah they think you're kidnapping i remember the tabooians are winged serpents so oh they're flying they can uh they can just fly right across this uh however um you guys do successfully cross so everyone go ahead and give yourself five temporary uh hit points that's them saying
Starting point is 00:14:23 we're about to encounter some of those ganardas no it's just you were successful in this in navigating this so you get a little bonus a little a little cookie i think it's a bonus that we didn't take like a billion years being like all right we put a rope at the end of the thing then we crawl across the rope and then i cast this spell and then i yeah he's rewarding us because he's pavlovian dogging us because we're very good going Going quickly. He's critical thinking. Yeah. All right. So everyone gets to have a five temp hit points.
Starting point is 00:14:49 And the Tabulians are still in hot pursuit as they are winged serpents and can fly. Yeah. Follow us. You hear them yell. Yeah. Follow them. Gum Gum would think an angry mob is just a parade. I think we're showing them the way to escape.
Starting point is 00:15:07 That's what I just said. I think Gum Gum would think an angry mob is a parade. They're dragging the corpses of our friends behind them. No, they're in the car. They're mocking us. They're in the car. So speaking of which, Mud, you said you were going to stay a bat, correct? Yes.
Starting point is 00:15:21 Does that mean you all are going to stay in the car and continue? No, I just figured. Oh, sorry, stay in the Ahamobile? I'll leave the Tabulians in it. I'll make it clear. Mutt's not going to be carrying anything this entire thing, so no. I think once we cross the chasm, we pop out. Yeah, I'm going to stay
Starting point is 00:15:35 a bat just because it feels like that's good for cave time. I have a question about the... Bats have advantage on cave. About the... Cave throws. Cowabunga mobile. Uh-huh. Uh-huh mobile.
Starting point is 00:15:48 It changes shape depending upon how we're using it. Is that correct? Correct. Oh, we could turn it into like some sort of... Yeah. Lancey or air. Cowabunga. And make it a medical cart.
Starting point is 00:15:59 A medical cart? Like a cart or something. I don't think it like has supplies in here. I think it's more of like a boat, a place, a car. Police are here. Not a cart full something. I don't think it has supplies up here. I think it's more of a boat, a place, or a car. Not a cart full of medical supplies, but a cart or something that I could pull them in. Cowabunga, it's a nap cart. I think they're doing just fine on your arms,
Starting point is 00:16:14 and we should continue on. I think you should throw them at them. Is there any harm in doing that? You all figure it out. Time? I can't tell if there's harm or not. I chase after Snarf. Should I keep up the chase?
Starting point is 00:16:24 Yeah, we're running. We're running. after Snarch. I keep up the chase. Yeah, we're running. We're running. We're running. You all continue your rapid movement through the tunnel, and you turn around a bend, and you stumble into a room filled with cactox plants. You remember these. You saw these earlier in the Wynder Canyon.
Starting point is 00:16:37 Maybe it's a nursery? You don't know why they would all be here. Just like your encounter before, you know that they can shoot needles full of toxins. And in in fact i think they shot some at kyborg last time but kyborg had his shield up yep in my cart the room is again 20 feet wide and about 15 foot ceilings and you see rows and rows of cactuses of various sizes uh lining the room but smarsh already went through here yes so did he not get he just missed a few make a perception check okay i can talk to planes that's how we did it last time. Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 00:17:06 16. You see that the cacti seem like they are missing. They're not full of spines. They're missing some. Okay. Oh, they shot some. Mud, the way we've done this in the past is once a party member engages in a skill check, they're kind of out.
Starting point is 00:17:19 The other party members have to step up now. So since you engaged on the first skill check, it's someone else's turn to try to navigate this encounter. What I'm hearing you say, Gus, is that I'm too skilled and have too many things to offer to the team. We have to figure out how do we stop Mud and his menagerie of animals. I wasn't going to do an animal thing. I was going to talk to them. My plants.
Starting point is 00:17:38 My plant babies. I saw some flame arrows. I could start a little brush fire in here. Should we stealthily try to avoid them? Yeah. Is that something that works with these things? I think a stealth-led expedition by our stealthy boy Bart would be a great use of defeating this puzzle.
Starting point is 00:17:54 As an alternative, we have this cart that I'm hauling creatures in. Could y'all just all get in the cart and I'll just run past it? Did we establish that it's actually a car? I thought that the Ahemmobile was out of operation. No, I wanted to use it to carry the Tabulians in. I was out of it running. Like, I think all of us are out of it running. It sounds like you're the one pulling.
Starting point is 00:18:13 Everyone's out of it running, but the Ahem-mobile is still here, and Gum-Gum is pulling it. Gum-Gum wants to be the grandma from that one volcano movie that, like, pushes the boat in the hot lava water. Dante's Peak. That's the one. But if y'all want to get in it, and then I'll just take the damage. I'm flying. Okay. Would they not see you if you're flying?
Starting point is 00:18:32 Well, I'm saying that's just my... I mean, what is the way we're defeating this puzzle? You're inside the little... What do you call it? Like wagon? They can't shoot spines at you. Okay, if we're in a wagon, sure. I will get in as a bat. This is an unusual way for a bat to get around.
Starting point is 00:18:48 Is everyone else getting in as well? You know how bats used to cross the country in covered wagons? I'm going to switch to, I'm going to put my shield up and switch it up for my longbow. That way I have extra protection. I can fend off spines if they happen to come at the party. Sure. Sure. And I will do the same as I cross.
Starting point is 00:19:05 So you're, wait. Who's pushing? Who's pushing? You're pushing. It's more like he's pulling. It's like an ox drawn cart. Yeah, so I figured it was all my shoulders, like, and I've got it rested, and I've got one up on my right hand, you know, wherever it is.
Starting point is 00:19:20 If we had more time, I would want everyone to take a turn and draw a diagram of what we think is happening right now. And I guarantee it would be all four of us would be different. Normally, you know, you would pull it with your hands or you would attach it to like a beast of burden, like an aurochs. And it would have like a, what do you call that? Harness. Not the harness. Like a yoke.
Starting point is 00:19:38 Yoke. Yeah, a yoke. A beast of burden. An aurochs or a gum gum. Well, then you can't use your hands. Right. That's what I'm trying to figure out, like, how would it work? Would you be using your hands or are you attached, like, via a yoke-like device?
Starting point is 00:19:50 I'm going to say it would have a yoke because the idea was that mud would turn into an animal. So it wouldn't be pulled by hand, which means you could just attach the yoke to yourself, which would free your hands. I'm just trying to work through what it looks like in my head to determine whether or not you can use a shield. So, yeah, you would be able to use a shield and you're just going to power through it and see what happens. We tried stealth. We tried something else, but you just said no and.
Starting point is 00:20:14 I gave it as an alternative. I would love to just get through this puzzle. So go. Do what you want to do. Okay, we got... Bart hops in the cart and he does that little spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch. He's not a religious boy, but right now he is. And I go, let's go.
Starting point is 00:20:31 And I run and hold and just try and sprint as fast as I can. Taking 80 points of damage. Okay. So you just start barreling through as fast as you can. Go ahead. I'll rage. You're going to go ahead and rage. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:44 Okay. Gum gum rages. Oh yeah. Let'll rage. You're going to go ahead and rage. Yeah. Okay. Gum gum rages. Oh yeah. Let's just resolve your wild magic first. I hope the next puzzle we encounter involves like shooting a small switch with a bow and arrow that flips the drawbridge.
Starting point is 00:20:54 If it is, I'm going to no-end it and figure out something else to do it. I just gave it as an alternative. I didn't say no. I was just having a conversation with Blaine. That's all I was doing. Hey Chris.
Starting point is 00:21:05 What's the result of that wild magic roll? Whenever a creature hits you with an attack roll before your rage ends, that creature takes 1d6 force damage as magic lashes out in retribution. Okay. Seems like that might be kind of handy here. So you start trying to pull the wagon. Go ahead and make an athletics check. 23.
Starting point is 00:21:21 And I'm going to say one of the tabooians that you're pulling, who you're helping, who's injured, as you're, you know, setting up and getting ready, he kind of, like, points out a path that he thinks, that he has used before to get through the field of cactox. So, as a result of that, you're going to go ahead and also get an additional 1d4 assistance on that
Starting point is 00:21:37 from the taboolean. Say thank you in draconic. He says, of course. So you get an additional plus 2, so you get a 25 on your athletics check. I ask him, how is my taboolean? My draconic, right? How is my draconic? He says, very good for someone who does not have a forked tongue.
Starting point is 00:21:53 Not yet. Bart holds up a little dagger. Yeah, so, you know, GumGum, you kind of managed to wind your way through the field of cactox. You know, the Boolean shows you a path that maybe wasn't quite as clear as you thought. But, you know, when they look at it from a different angle, they see it a little better than you do. So you managed to successfully go through a few cactoxes, do fire out at you. So I just for fun, make me a dexterity saving throw at advantage.
Starting point is 00:22:22 That's 13. 13. Thorns did fire out at you, but either with your shield or with the yoke, you managed to successfully block them. And the wild magic you had sends force out back towards the cactocs and squishes a few of them.
Starting point is 00:22:35 All right, so everyone makes it through. Everyone gains five temp hit points for making it through here. Bart hops out of the carriage and goes up to Gum Gum and slaps him on the bum, even though that doesn't do anything. And he goes, good job, Gum Gum. Thanks for the boost.
Starting point is 00:22:52 You've watched enough other people smack each other on the butts. Did Bart just want to be included too? He goes, oh, is that what that does? I thought we were all just being friendly. I've watched a lot of baseball. You all continue down this path and as you're going through you find a set of stairs that lead up out of this cavern. You follow this set of stairs up to a chamber furnished with tables, chairs, and crockery. The ceiling crumbles
Starting point is 00:23:18 and splash a deposit of acid green liquid gushes into the room scorching and sizzling everything nearby. Pools of acidic venom now fill the chamber, which is about 20 feet wide, 50 feet long, with 15-foot ceilings. What do you do to get through this? So say that again. It was 50 feet wide? 20 wide, 15-foot ceilings, 50 long. Okay, we have to traverse 50 feet. Of acid?
Starting point is 00:23:39 Yeah, that's that same liquid green sizzling stuff you've seen a few times now. Guys, we've got to Dante's Peak. We've got to get the Ohemobile. And I'll pull for the acid. Because I have the gift of the dramatic chromatic dragon. Gift of the dramatic dragon. Gift of the dramatic dragon. Oh, I could never.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Acting. So should we make the Ohemobile into a boat? Hopefully it's acid resistance. Oh, is it full enough for a boat? I want a gift of the dramatic dragon now. Like you get advantage on performance checks or something. This place is stinky. Anyway, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:24:14 Someone asked a question about the Ahem-mobile. Saying if we could turn it into a boat. Yeah, you absolutely can turn it into a boat. You're not sure if it's designed for anything other than water. The caustic liquid may have some adverse effects on it. But, I mean, it's uh designed for anything other than water the caustic uh liquid may have some adverse effects on it but i mean it can turn into a seafaring vessel i'm also open to other ideas what if we fly it over a flying thing am i allowed to help again no so now mud and gum gum have made checks so now the any remaining check would have to be either kyborg or bark
Starting point is 00:24:41 mud just flies across anyways mud just flies across flies across the room. It just turns around and goes, hey, come on, guys. So the Ahemobile is still like with us right here. Yeah, it's in cart mode currently being pulled by GumGum. Are there any like sticks or anything around? Well, it seems like you're in a room that was maybe a dining room of some kind because there's tables, chairs, crockery, pots, but you were asking for sticks. You could maybe smash a chair or a table to splinter it.
Starting point is 00:25:10 I just wanted to maybe take some of the acid and put it on the Ahemobile and see if it has any effect. Is that a possibility, or would I not really be able to tell? I think I have an idea for how we could traverse it. You remember that when people dove through the liquid, you took a dimension door, so this wouldn't have happened to you, but when you watched the people who sw dove through the liquid, you know, you took a dimension door, so this wouldn't have happened to you.
Starting point is 00:25:25 But when you watched the people who swam through the liquid, that their stuff was sizzling and did seem to take a little bit of damage when they swam through. Okay. And that includes metal stuff like weapons and armor. Arms. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:39 Are we allowed to do anything to help? You can do like assist. Like remember I described like an assist mechanism. I could put the oil stuff on it because that protected us some last time on this the cart i can shoot an arrow across the room with a rope attached and then we can get in the boat and then i can pull the rope well i think we don't want to put the boat in the liquid because i think it'll damage it just tight when she slack rope across the room well he said that this was also like a dining room with a bunch of stuff.
Starting point is 00:26:05 So I wonder if we'd like try to like put all the stuff into the liquid and yeah, essentially hop across. Well, I was going to say like is the formation of stuff, the furniture that's still in there, is there maybe a rudimentary path for them to run, to jump across? Floor is lava. Yeah, you could totally parkour floor is lava. Okay, let's try that. While we're setting up, could Bart grab a bunch of pots and pans and things that he
Starting point is 00:26:27 could carry with him? So if he goes and realizes he can't jump on something, he could put something down to jump on. It's like putting train tracks down as you're going. Looney Tunes, yes. I like it. So Bart's going to lead the way on this one? Technically, Mud is because he's already across the room. But yeah, Bart.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Well, your path didn't help us mud looks out for mud i mean if you could fly would you do that yes absolutely yeah i've been avoiding using my uh dimension door for like the last five minutes yeah so this is going to be the plan it's going to kind of hop across does that mean the you're going to deactivate the ahem mobile and gum gum you're going to carry your friends across? If it seems like that's the best way to maneuver through it. It's hard for, like, visually, it's harder for me to, like, I don't see it, if that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:27:14 Yeah, it's like a giant pool of caustic liquid. Can we tell how deep it is? With, like, tables and chairs. It's not, like, super deep. We'll say it's maybe two or three feet deep. Okay. So if we put, like, a chair there, we'll be able to stand on the chair and not be in the liquid. Okay. Yeah, you have to balance a little bit, but you can do deep. Okay. So if we put like a chair there, we'll be able to stand on the chair and not be in the liquid.
Starting point is 00:27:28 Okay. Yeah, you have to balance a little bit, but you can do that. Okay. Then yeah, Bart's gonna try this floor is lava technique. Sick. Okay, Bart's gonna lead the way. Oh, do you want to put oil on you? No. All right. I'm sweaty enough. All right, Bart, go ahead and
Starting point is 00:27:44 make an acrobatics check to see if you're deft enough to navigate this. Bart can hear fine. Nice. Stop it. I did 20. 20. That's good. That's really good.
Starting point is 00:27:55 Everyone, I would say, is pretty impressed at how nimble Bart is scurrying from object to object as he traverses the pool of caustic liquid. And the great thing about Bart going first is because he's the shortest one and he was still able to forge a path along to the end of this, hopefully, that'll just make it easier for everyone else because everyone else has longer legs. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. And then Bart lays down the perfect path for everyone to get across. And we'll say everyone is able to successfully navigate it thanks to Bart's quick feet go bart bart does the floss because he's so excited that he helped and once again everyone gains five temp hit points all right here comes kyborg's moment here we go as
Starting point is 00:28:39 you all uh cross this room it's a musical riddle room. You lose sight of your... Answer me these questions three. You lose sight of your Tabulian pursuers. You think maybe they gave up? Then light catches your eye at the end of the tunnel in front of you. It's an exit. But just as you're about to escape the caves, the swarm of Tabulians that was pursuing you blocks
Starting point is 00:29:02 your path. They're all very angrily blocking in your way. What do you do to navigate them, Kyborg? You have to use your best skill, charisma. Time to take two of persuading the Tabulians. I bolster you, magically. Yeah, I hold out my butt, and I'm like, I guess I'll go
Starting point is 00:29:18 talk to them, and I'm looking at mud. I'm a bat. Bart runs over and smacks his butt. Okay. I'll take it. I give you a bolster magic. It's a d3. An extra d3. I screech into your butt. Do you tell everyone what you're
Starting point is 00:29:33 going to do? Guys, I think I'm going to have to whip out the draconic and see if we can talk these guys down. Use the gift of the dramatic dragon. I will summon him. One of the tabooleans that GumGum is pulling along offers to go with you to help be a liaison. Okay. I assist him however he needs.
Starting point is 00:29:53 No, no, no. He's assisting you. I know, but I'm trying to help him carry him out. This is a collaboration that we're trying to, you know. Yeah, you're the lead and he's assisting you. Okay, fine. All right. Well, I walk out there with this Tabulian and then I say,
Starting point is 00:30:05 Tabulian friends, we are trying to rescue your four compatriots and leave this cave, which is crumbling under our feet. We mean you no harm. We're also trying to help them too. We're also trying to help you guys too. All right. Compliment how good they look today too. You guys look amazing today.
Starting point is 00:30:27 Look at those wings. Hey, give yourselves a round of applause. Give yourself a hand. We're also working on their new arms. We're working on getting you guys a new set of arms, huh? And longer lunch breaks. And longer lunch breaks. And good Christmas bonuses.
Starting point is 00:30:43 And hey, on top of that We're giving you guys a crit holiday bonus for whatever festivity you celebrate Machines in the cafeteria. We're also looking into soda machines We're gonna get you snacks in the break room Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, All right, now the part about the soda machine. Pepsi. It doesn't translate. Well, that's absolutely horrifying.
Starting point is 00:31:39 I guess make a persuasion check, and you're going to get a little bonus as well from the Tabulian who came out to help you. Okay, so it's like advantage or yeah because you all have been doing so well on your previous check you will get you do get advantage on this check all right that's a three good thing come on anything higher than that in the four plus the d3 plus the d3 roll a d6 and then split it okay two it's a one So roll a d6 and then split it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:32:03 Two. It's a one. Woo! Five. Plus a little bit of help from the taboolean who went out to help you. Which is another roll. Which is another one. It's a one.
Starting point is 00:32:13 Oh, my God. So a total of eight. No, it's a seven. Seven. No, it's a total of six. Because his d6 he rolled was a d3. Yeah, it's a six. So it's a four plus one plus one. Six.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Oh, my God. I have an inspiration roll. I have inspiration die. Oh, you do? Yeah. Is this where's a four plus one plus one. Six. Oh, my God. I have an inspiration roll. I have inspiration die. Oh, you do? Yeah. Is this where you want to use it? Yes. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:32:30 There it is. I'm not re-rolling the... No, no. One and one. Yeah, the Tabulian. Yeah. Come on, come on. That gets a new pair of shoes.
Starting point is 00:32:36 20, 20, 20, 20. That's a plus two to this. 10 plus 12. Two, 12. 12. Mm-hmm. Is there anything else you can add to that? To the dragon.
Starting point is 00:32:44 Okay. I have one more bardic inspiration. 12. 12. Is there anything else you can add to that? Give to the dragon. I have one more bardic inspiration. But I guess if you already did this, I can't give it to you. Can I assist in any way? Like, you know, you've done enough. It would have to have been described before, the check. I'm just curious if there was any other passive bonuses that were already added on there. All right.
Starting point is 00:33:00 As you go up and kind of ramble on in Draconic about Pepsi machines and- I take off my arm as a show of, ah, I am one of you, am I not? Ooh, you can hear them whispering amongst themselves. They're going to steal it. He has been gifted with reach. Grass and straws. It seems like it's not working. They begin looking like they're ready to strike at you when at the last possible second,
Starting point is 00:33:26 Smarsh falls in and crushes all of them with his massive body. Smarsh! With a very loud Smarsh. Thanks, Smarsh. I mean, thank you, but also, oh, God. Greetings, fair hero. Come warm yourself by the fire. Just wanted to express my gratitude for braving this harrowing quest of finding the missing listeners.
Starting point is 00:33:59 It's because of courageous folks like yourself that more and more listeners are finding their way to the Stinky Dragon to hear our breathtaking tales. Keep it up! Oh, here's a tip. I heard there might be a few missing listeners at that market of farmers you've been meaning to visit on the weekend. But instead, you know, usually sleep in and miss entirely. No judgment. But this time, this time will be different. Did you catch the latest fantastical fan art post for the podcast or witness the most recent amusing meme? If not, you should give us a follow at StinkyDragonPod on Twitter and Instagram.
Starting point is 00:34:22 Join us on the Stinky Dragon subreddit where each week we will be featuring fabulous fan art from listeners like user sharp underscore yarn. Ouch. Plus, if you tag us on social media using hashtag StinkyDragonPod or post on the subreddit that an NPC could be named after you. In fact, here's some recent NPCs
Starting point is 00:34:38 that were named after folks that interacted with us on social media. Smarsh, the purple worm kings, named after at Smarsh Show. Of course, we also want to give a special thanks to some friends who provide VO for characters in the previous episode, like Quadrin, who was voiced by our own Blizzbear.
Starting point is 00:34:53 Are you captivated by the unknown? Do you obsess over unexplained phenomena? Do you frighten easily? Well, behold Red Web, a podcast all about unsolved mysteries, true crime, conspiracies, and the supernatural. With an appetite for the unknown, hosts Trevor Collins and Alfredo Diaz discuss and analyze unsolved mysteries, true crime, conspiracies, and the supernatural. With an appetite for the unknown, hosts Trevor Collins and Alfredo Diaz discuss and analyze
Starting point is 00:35:07 unsolved mysteries, true crimes, and paranormal events. Each episode dives into the timelines, the facts, and the popular theories that attempt to explain what's really happening with these strange incidents. This month, they'll be exploring creepy forest events like Bella in the Witch Elm, Rendlesham Forest, and the Black Forest Haunting. Check out Red Web now, available for all your listener podcasts. If you want to get the episode today early,
Starting point is 00:35:28 head over to redwebpod.com. You exit the caves and find yourselves in a moonlit Winder Canyon. Smarsh is there with a sheepish smile across his purple face. Smarsh is king? Smarsh is there with a sheepish smile across his purple face. Smarsh is king? Smarsh is king. We are Smarsh friends.
Starting point is 00:35:54 We are Smarsh. Smarsh farm remembers. Deputy Pat chimes in and says, Well, Winder Canyon is treacherous as it is during daylight. I can't imagine it'll be much safer in the dark. Smarsh perks up and you start to hear rapid footsteps in the sand coming from around the corner. A second later, a camel appears with Sheriff Gov riding atop. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:18 Pat! The sheriff immediately leaps from her mount and sprints toward Pat, wraps her arms around the pale pie. Thank Dyer. Are you okay? Are you hurt? We've made it through the cave with no casualties
Starting point is 00:36:33 of importance. I couldn't have you dragging any more Tabulian NPCs along with you. I had to get rid of them. Thank you. Deputy Pat replies, Thank Daya? Geez, Mom. Never thought I'd hear those words come out your mouth. And yes, I'm fine. Thanks to the infinites.
Starting point is 00:36:50 Yeah. Farts fluxing. Sheriff Gov turns to you all. I can't thank you enough. If we were to lose- Mom! Come on, it's late. We gotta get these folks back to town.
Starting point is 00:37:04 Smarsh is wagging his purple tail. Smarsh, carry! Smarsh, carry! The immense purple worm leans down for you all, his tail continuing to flutter with excitement. Smarsh, carry! Bart jumps on and gives him a little scratch behind the ear. Oh, he likes that. Smarsh did a genocide.
Starting point is 00:37:20 We didn't kill all of them. Just the bad ones. Just a mass murder. Yeah, there you go. Just the bad ones. Just a mass murder. Yeah, there you go. Just the bad ones. All right, so we're riding the sandworm. Is everyone getting on? Heck yes.
Starting point is 00:37:30 All right, so everyone gets on, and Smarsh takes off with a start. Everyone needs to make a dexterity saving throw to see if you can hold on. You've got to tell me twice. 19. 22. Oh, gosh.
Starting point is 00:37:40 We have to tell you twice. 18. 11. Bart almost falls off, but rides himself at the last second and manages to hold on. Plus seven on my dex. Dang. What are you, Blaine?
Starting point is 00:37:52 Smarsh looks at you, Bart. Careful. Hold Smarsh. Sorry, I'm just so excited to be riding. Riding a king? Ew. I was in my mind trying to think of how to word this in a non-suggested way. I'm so excited to be on top of this big worm.
Starting point is 00:38:12 After but a few minutes of purple worm whiplash. Using you as a mode of transportation. Purple worm whiplash sounds like a drink. After but a few minutes of purple worm whiplash, Marsh finally comes to a halt at the edge of Pious Pass. He leans down once again and everyone dismounts. Chick, you know who you remember as the owner of the give and take, brushes off her tweed waistcoat and brown bowler hat and walks over to you. Folks, we all owe you a great deal. Life and limb to be exact. A Sheriff Gov who's still holding tightly on a pat tips her hat to you.
Starting point is 00:38:41 Couldn't have said it better myself, Chick. We clearly misjudged you folks. If there's anything we can ever do to repay you, just say the word. Ludi, who's the owner of the Lil' Pecker, steps forward in her emerald green dress and says, I'll drink to that. Come on, let's all head to Lil' Pecker
Starting point is 00:38:56 for a drink or two on the house. I'm sure there's a bottle or two we can still scrounge up from my personal collection. All right. Woo! Bart raises his hands in the air and cheers. I go over to Smarsh, and I give him a pet, and I give him a hug, and I say, Smarsh is friend.
Starting point is 00:39:11 New shirt, Smarsh is friend. Smarsh is friend. The T'Bullions, how are they? Oh, they're dead. Well, two of them were dead, and I guess two of them are injured but stable. Can I go to a doctor or a leave or whoever the medic is to try and get them taken care of? The leave's long gone. Yeah, leave's gone.
Starting point is 00:39:28 A doctor. I don't think there's any doctors in Pius Pass. I'm trying to think what the closest thing would be. I mean, I guess technically the closest thing would probably actually be the saloon since they have like beds as well there. Remember, y'all actually stayed there the first time you came to Pius Pass. Let's go to the packer. Yeah, I could use a drink and maybe a very long rest i can take a lot for sure yeah the doors to the saloon swing wide and hints of oak and cases fill your noses a few birds flutter around the hardy tree trunk in the center of the room and ludy stands behind the bar well what do we have friends uh we've heard
Starting point is 00:40:02 so many drinks at the top of these episodes, and I can't remember a single one. I'd love a cup of coffee. Ooh, that's very muddish. Muddish. Well, lucky for you folks, it looks like we only have one bottle left. She begins pouring an amber-colored liquid in glasses for everyone. Can I do a check to see if this is good? That's a weird-looking coffee.
Starting point is 00:40:23 Yeah, mud abstains. What do you mean, like a medicine check? Like, what are you looking for, I should ask? Yeah, my guard is up. I want to see if this is good. That's a weird looking coffee. Yeah, mud abstains. What do you mean, like a medicine check? Like, what are you looking for? Yeah, my guard is up. I want to see if this is like poison or anything like that. Yeah, make a medicine check. How's that going to go? It's going to go quite well, in fact.
Starting point is 00:40:33 Where the hell is medicine check? It's in your skills. That's not helping. It's alphabetical. Okay. Nine. This is some kind of poison that deprives oxygen to your brain. I think if you not imbibe too much of it, you will become intoxicated from its poison.
Starting point is 00:40:48 I chug it. Sheriff Gov raises a glass of golden whiskey. I spit some out. And says, how about a speech from one of our infinite heroes? And the pies begin calling out speech, speech, speech, speech. Well, we've actually, we're going to do our speech one word our infinite heroes. And the pies begin calling out, speech, speech, speech, speech. Well, we've actually, we're going to do our speech one word at a time. Because we're a team and we work as a team.
Starting point is 00:41:15 You have one mind. Yeah, exactly. I'll start and we're going to go clockwise. All right. From all of us standing in circle. Think. You. Citizens and.
Starting point is 00:41:25 Others. Members. Of. Tabulian. Oh, God. Race. We. Are.
Starting point is 00:41:34 Happy. To. Have. Served. You. We. Will. Now.
Starting point is 00:41:41 Drink. And. Party. In. Your. tavern. Thank you for having such lovely emotions. And then Mark goes, yeah! Yeah! Everyone raises a glass and cheers.
Starting point is 00:42:05 Now I chug. Mud just pounds the table. Well done. Thank you for having such lovely emotions. Oh, it's shiny. Give them an idea of how they should respond to the speech. Oh, there you go. Ludie says, well, after such a rousing speech, anyone want to play a little drinking game?
Starting point is 00:42:24 I don't know. I'm a little worse for wear over here. Come on. It'll be fun. I just faced off against Quadrant and I'm assuming defeated him. Yeah, I want to drink. I want to party. Have I put the DeBullions to bed or whatever? Yeah, I'll say after the speech
Starting point is 00:42:40 and everything, you take them up and you put them in a room. You can put them in one room together that they can share. Chris said that while acting like he's dragging a knife across his throat. No, that was just me scratching. Did I take care of them? Yeah. Did they hear our speech?
Starting point is 00:42:55 Yeah, then I'll participate. Ludie begins setting out several tankards on the bar. There's like six of them, all told. She says, this is a fun game, easy game. It's called What's in the Well? I'm going to put all six of these out, and you two can take turns picking and drinking one of the tankards.
Starting point is 00:43:12 Five of these contain whiskey. One of them contains something else. What's the something else? Let me guess. You're not going to tell me. Let's just say it's something you wouldn't normally want to drink. Whiskey. I think water.
Starting point is 00:43:25 Winners get good drinks. Losers get a mouthful of something else. Okay. So we'll say Kyborg and Gum Gum. There's six drinks in front of you. We'll say one through six. You can pick one and see whether or not you win. I'm going to gamble.
Starting point is 00:43:41 Drink the one on the far left from me. We'll just call them one through six just so it's easier for me. So if you're the far left from me. Okay, we'll just call them one through six, just so it's easier for me. So if you're the far left, we'll say it's one. I don't suppose I could try and sniff them? You always want to break a game, don't you? I'm wondering, that's what, you know. It's a game of chance. Well, lucky for you, GumGum, as you're wondering about whether or not you can sniff it,
Starting point is 00:43:59 Kyborg goes in, grabs the first beer, chugs it, and you've never drank it before, but you imagine that you probably just took a big swig of urine. Let's go. Make a constitution... Make a constitution saving throw. Okay, I have advantage. 18. Is it camel urine?
Starting point is 00:44:19 22. I'm like, more. It's really awful, but you manage to keep it down and avoid puking and showing any weakness. A mean game for saving their lives. Yeah, it's very... Thanks to the camel piss. Ludi looks at you
Starting point is 00:44:35 with a little bit of, like, awe in her eyes, like, wow, that's really rare that someone fails on the first try and manages to keep it down. That elf sure can't drink pee you know what they say about cyborg gross he always goes left he can handle his pee want to try your hand again uh maybe you have a little better luck this time oh yeah sure i'll drink the i'll drink two oh god if that was number one i don't want to know what number two is no that
Starting point is 00:45:01 game is over there's only one uh negative drink so reset yeah ludy takes all the drinks down kind of shuffles them and put six fresh drinks up on the bar i think that that's your turn you want to take a shot at this gum gum okay before he drinks bart comes over to gum gum and whispers you're in trouble what did i do i said no nothing okay uh i guess I'll take four. Number four. You walk up to the bar, take a big drink out of number four, and make me a constitution check. They're all urine. They're all urine.
Starting point is 00:45:36 I bet. It's just all camel piss. That's a save. I wanted to check, but is it the same thing? What's your modifier? Constitution is plus three. Yeah. So then it would be an 11 yeah you uh take a drink it upsets your tummy a little bit but you know
Starting point is 00:45:50 it's just a really gut-wrought whiskey you managed to keep it down i got to be one uh all right your turn kyborg there's one two three five and six left one surely gonna be one again are you are you just going left the whole time? Maybe. Maybe. All right, you take a big swig out of the first one. Make a constitution check. I have advantage, yeah? Or is that just saving throws?
Starting point is 00:46:13 Why? Because of... Because there's only one. No, no, I mean, like, why would you have advantage on a constitution check? He's just trying to... I thought because I have constitution saving throw advantage, but it's not for checks. It's not for checks. I'm silly. Yeah, you take a swig of it and go ahead
Starting point is 00:46:26 and make me a constitution save. I have advantage on this now. I drink urine again. I mean, rolling a one on drinking whiskey would involve other negative effects. 24. Like a good old cup of frothy pee-pee. You take a
Starting point is 00:46:42 big swig of it and the whiskey just doesn't sit well with the urine that's already in your stomach. But you do manage to keep it down. You're just feeling queasy in general. But this is a drink of whiskey, a shot of whiskey, and you do keep it down. Bart throws a thumbs up from across the room. You're doing great, bud. Gum gum, you're up.
Starting point is 00:47:01 So all that's left is two, three, five and six. Three. Okay. You go up, take a shot out left is two, three, five, and six. Three. Okay. You go up, take a shot out of the number three glass, make a constitution saving throw. Fifteen. And that was my bad. I meant to say check. I said the wrong thing.
Starting point is 00:47:13 I was wondering about that. I was like. That's on me. Oh, yeah. You take a swig of the drink and it's whiskey. You keep it down. No problem. It tastes delicious to you.
Starting point is 00:47:21 Intense. It's tasting better. Kyborg, you're up. You got two, five, and six left. you. Intense. It's tasting better. Kyborg, you're up. You got two, five, and six left. Two. All right. Go ahead and make a constitution check. Thirteen.
Starting point is 00:47:32 Thirteen. Oh, yeah. This one's no problem. You take a swig of it, and you're actually starting to like this. Maybe you got more whiskey in your stomach or something. It goes down smooth. I just want to chase for a pee-pee. Gross.
Starting point is 00:47:44 I can help with that. You developed a taste for it. There's something bad to chase for a pee-pee. Gross. I can help with that. You developed a taste for it. There's something bad about you calling it pee-pee. Well, I don't want to say the other word because this is a family-friendly pun. Piss? Urine? Gum-gum, you're up. You've got number five and number six left.
Starting point is 00:47:57 I'll say five for Kebuk. Because six is definitely going to be whiskey? Well, no. Well, left. So you can have the left one. So you're going to go six then? Yeah, and I'll go five go five okay make a constitution check i did save this time but that's why so that's actually a ten yeah all right make a constitution saving throw oh no eight you know
Starting point is 00:48:15 you pound it drink the entire thing but as soon as it hits your stomach you feel really queasy and uneasy and you turn around and vomit your stomach full of whiskey you can't keep your liquor down oh no i'm sorry kyborg there's one drink left well i think we know what this drink is so game over that was fun so next game huh who wants to play beer pong what are you gonna do uh ludy grabs it and says oh I can't do that to the heroes of Pious Pass. A second time. Uh, you've already, you've already uh, had a bad night, and it looks like
Starting point is 00:48:51 your friend can't hold his liquor anymore. That's it for the fun and games. You guys are good sports. Dude, Mud didn't need it, but this is encouraging to Mud of his uh, choice to, uh, remain sober. But, take a moment a step back. I know we don't want to like to talk meta here in the Stinky Dragon world, but
Starting point is 00:49:08 they just served me pee. That's not meta. That's just actually like you got to serve pee. Yeah, what if you went to a bar and you're like give me whatever and then they give you pee. They like to have fun. Yeah, it's just a drinking game. How is that fun? They warned you that one of them was something bad that you wouldn't normally drink. They didn't drink either.
Starting point is 00:49:24 We'll do this one for our next TikTok test. Yeah. Urine challenge. We'll have a roulette of shot glasses. One has urine. Mud, since you're not drinking, Chick walks up to you and says, hey, by any chance, you wouldn't know what happened to some of the equipment in my shop, would you? Oh.
Starting point is 00:49:40 From like way back when? No. Well, we went to the shop and we happened to find a friend underneath the floor. Do you know where he is? I'm looking everywhere for spot. Uh, don't have a read on where he is exactly. Last we saw him, he was in, he, he joined us in the jail. And then I guess realizing now we just left
Starting point is 00:50:06 and left him so he's probably just enjoying some outside time. Is he chipped? Is he chipped? No, he's whole. You know what I could do is let me take a little bit of a rest
Starting point is 00:50:25 and brighten up the tomorrow morning. We'll help look for Chip. Not Chip, Spot. Maybe we can also look for my brew bow or my jumping jab or my colossal cloud coffee. Jumping jab. I don't know where those went. I'm like hiding the brew bow and the jumping jab in my cloak of many fashions.
Starting point is 00:50:47 Maybe a spot took those with him. Wasn't spot holding them? I think so. How did you know that? Make a deception check, Mud. That's fine. That's an eight. Chick kind of narrows their eyes and says, well, I don't think you're telling me everything,
Starting point is 00:51:01 but we'll pick this up in the morning when we're looking for spot. I mean, uh, yeah. That works for me. Ludie says, well, it's late. I'm sure you all want to hit the hay. I'll give you all beds on the house. Mud, if you want, you can even have a bed warmer again. I'll take the bed warmer.
Starting point is 00:51:18 Yeah, I'll pass this time on the bed warmer. Alright, one bed warmer for Bart. Nice. Do you have any more hazing you'd like to give us? Oh, Gum-Gum, try not to drink any more urine on your way up to your bed. He did it, actually. I did. It tasted horrible. It made me sick.
Starting point is 00:51:34 Alright, so do you all want to go to your rooms and go to sleep? Yes. I assume Gum-Gum, you'll be sharing that room with those two Booleans? If there's not another one. Let me check. Oh, no, there's another room. You'll be able to... Bart's a little busy, so yeah, you might want so yeah you might want to share yeah Bart needs his own room tonight gum gum so you're leaving the to Boolean's alone just to be clear well can I check on them yeah yeah you can I just meant like when you go to sleep yeah I'll check do you guys do anything do you need me staying here
Starting point is 00:51:56 with you uh they're they're pretty out of it they're pretty sleepy they're cold-blooded do they need a bed warmer nice I guess I can stay in there with them it's's up to you. I mean, like I said, there's plenty of accommodation here. I'll stay in there just to watch them because, yeah. Well, now I can't have them leave in the middle of the night. You're trying to get rid of these guys so bad. I hate these two bullions. Anyway, oh, sorry, did I say that out loud?
Starting point is 00:52:17 Alright, so everyone goes to sleep. Long rest? Yeah, long rest. Yay! Our spell slots are back. Mud, you wake up and see tea light candles flickering all around the room. My room? Yeah. Rose petals are scattered across your bed,
Starting point is 00:52:33 and a blonde male pie in a poncho standing over the bed looking at you. But his eyes are rolled to the back of his head. Oh, that's not good. The tea lights suddenly blow out, and an otherworldly voice echoes from the pie as if it's inside your head. Mud of the Bramble Cracks. I warned you before. He's doing his fortune telling.
Starting point is 00:52:50 Your past cannot be ignored or the past before you will remain forgotten. Forever. Destiny awaits, Mud. Destiny. You blink your eyes and the pie's face vanishes from his head. No eyes or mouth, just a blank head. You blink your eyes again and morning light is peeking through the shutters of the window near your head. You look around and the tea candles and rose petals are gone.
Starting point is 00:53:13 The room is empty. Cut to Bart in his room. He's just in his underwear and he's lying on the bed in like a paint me like one of your French girls position. I picture he's like singing like, who wears short shorts? I would have liked to imagine Kyborg was in the room next to Mudd just being like dun dun dun, shut up! I think if I had to make
Starting point is 00:53:32 a call on what that was, I think that was a dream. Well, do you remember the first time we encountered the Bedworm and he's like, his true passion is fortune telling, right? Yeah, but if I woke up and everything was, if like I blinked and his face was gone and I blinked again and all the stuff was gone. Could have been a vision or a dream, yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:47 Or it could have been him giving you a fortune. Kyborg, make a perception check. Okay. Oh, that's, I don't know. That's long sword damage. Did you stab yourself? No, but I just happened to click a button. You're shaving and your long sword tricks a little chunk of your chin.
Starting point is 00:54:01 21. Oh, that's mud. I just feel like hitting a random button as well. 17. You feel the ground shaking a little bit as you're getting ready in your room. Smarsh is here. I open up my windows so much that the shutters are my windows. You open up your shutters and Smarsh is out there wagging his tail looking up at you.
Starting point is 00:54:19 He's here. He's here. I jump on Smarsh. I say, let's go for a ride, big guy. You jump out your window. Yeah. I'll do an athletics roll if you need me to. Sure, why not?
Starting point is 00:54:27 14. Oh, yeah. Smarsh starts doing laps around Pius Pass with you atop him. Sweet. Causing immeasurable structural damage to all the buildings. Hopefully, I have like a cowboy hat because, you know, this is like the western town. So I'm just going. Make another perception check for me.
Starting point is 00:54:43 Okay. 18. You think you see something in the well. What? There's a well in the middle of the city. Okay. I've been writing smart enough to have a non-verbal means of communication, so I give him the
Starting point is 00:54:55 pats to indicate that we stop. And then I hop down and I go check the well. You peek into the well and down at the bottom of the well you see Spot looking up at you. Oh, Spot! Okay. I'll lower some rope down. I say, grab the rope, boy! He just eats the rope. It's just spaghetti and just feeding him rope.
Starting point is 00:55:13 Yeah, Spot chomps onto the rope. Can we get his owner first before bringing him up in case he tries to run away again? The person who feeds his piss and had a creature chained up. I think that was a different pie because it was chick. Okay, well they make a good point. Okay.
Starting point is 00:55:29 They're also not there. Who? None of us. This is Kyber's decision. Okay. I think I got enough of a handle on Spot. I'm going to pull him up and see if I can like say like, alright, be a good boy. And then maybe like leash him with that rope and take him back to his owner. He's got a chain. Yeah, you pull Spot up,
Starting point is 00:55:46 and he begins licking you like crazy, and you hear a growling coming from Smarsh. Monster, eat Kyborg. No, be good. Be cool, Smarsh. All friends. Kyborg hurt? No, Kyborg good.
Starting point is 00:55:59 Smarsh, friend. Spot, friend. Smarsh, no like friend. Okay, I'm going gonna just rush Spot to The owner's house He just kicks him down the well again Alright yeah you take Spot Back over to the give and take
Starting point is 00:56:14 Is Smarsh like my What do they call that? Am I familiar? I don't know we'll have to find out You're a fighter you don't have familiars I do now I'm actually well I'm an archer So I'm just pulling all these weird moves That you You don't have familiars. I do now. I'm actually, well, I'm an archer, so I'm just pulling all these weird moves that, you know, don't fit my character.
Starting point is 00:56:29 I assume after that you head back to the tavern. Uh, yeah, sure. As you all reconvene downstairs at the little pecker, Bart, your sending stone starts vibrating. Uh-oh. Uh, snooze. Barbara's on fire today. Yeah, that's funny.
Starting point is 00:56:50 Bart answers. He goes, Bartholomew Finn speaking. How may I help you? Oh, damn. That's your message for today. And he goes, Urgent news.
Starting point is 00:57:03 Come to the Throne Gauntlet Tavern immediately. Throne Gauntlet Tavern.. Throne Gauntlet Tavern. That's back at, what's his face? Back at Boulderay. Boulderay, got it. How do we get back there fast? You fly us. Smarsh. That's not the fast way. That's fine. Fine with me. Smarsh wants to go back to Boulderay. Bart goes and hurries over to wherever his party is
Starting point is 00:57:19 right now. Where's everyone? I'm in my room. Everyone's back in the... Little Pecker? Little Pecker. I mean a hearty breakfast. Comes in and goes, hey guys, we gotta get back to the Throne'm in my room. Everyone's back in the... Little pecker. Little pecker. I mean a hearty breakfast. Comes in and goes, Hey guys, we got to get back to the throne gauntlet room. Tavern. Stat. Throne gauntlet tavern.
Starting point is 00:57:33 Stat. Is there any unfinished business to do here in the city? In the town? I don't know any ghosts, so... The Tabulians. Can I ask them if they want to come with us to get healed? They tell you that they need to return uh, return to Tatora. Okay.
Starting point is 00:57:47 And that they must make haste there now that Umrah is gone. Good luck, my friends. I'm sorry all your other friends died. Smarch just snatches him out of the sky. He uses them to floss his many teeth. Can I ask the, the, the give and take person how my whistle works that I've been carrying around? Sure, yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:09 Hi, I know I can't, I think we took this not legally. I'll pay for it now if you need me to, but how does this whistle work? Correct. You will pay me for that first immediately, as well as all the other items that I'm missing. I don't have those. I don't know anything about those. Deception check. I do not know anything about those, right? Weren't you there?
Starting point is 00:58:22 I was not. I was in the prison. Oh, that's right. You were in the prison. That's right. Oh, look at you. He's not wrong. He doesn't have to deceive you. I also wonder how much your life is worth. And that's not a threat. That's just me asking if you can give me this for us
Starting point is 00:58:35 trying to save y'all. That sounds like a threat. I'm sorry. That is not a threat. Yeah, that's pretty dark. Come, come. I wonder how much your life is worth. Do you want to ride the lightning? That's not a threat. Yeah, that's pretty dark, Kumkum. I didn't mean it that way. I wonder how much your life is worth. Do you want to ride the lightning? That's not a threat. I'm just curious
Starting point is 00:58:49 if you want to ride the lightning. Chick says, well, that whistle was 100 gold. I'm going to have to take out a loan because I need this first stuff. I mean, you did say that like, however could we repay you? Yeah. Did you go there too, Bart? Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:59:06 Well, wasn't we doing this downstairs with everyone? No, Chick would not be there. Chick doesn't, you know, Chick lives in Pius Pass. So Chick would be at the give and take. Yeah. Can I say that along those lines? Make a persuasion check. This is the reward for bringing back Spot 14.
Starting point is 00:59:21 Well, Spot is back here. And I guess you did save us. But, you know, that did cost me money to acquire. You know, if I sell that for 100 gold pieces, I'm not making 100 gold pieces. So I'll give it to you. I'll give it away at cost. Well, I don't even know what it does. Well, you can return it.
Starting point is 00:59:36 I'll take it back. What does it do? I told you before what it does. When you first came to town. I don't remember. I don't think Gus remembers either. No, I just don't think it's a problem. From a metagame perspective,
Starting point is 00:59:48 it's a whistle that you can blow and it will summon animal companions to help you. Okay. But the cost for me on that unit was 70 gold pieces. I'll let it go for 70 gold. That's my cost. Damn, you really don't have a high profit margin. 30% is pretty good.
Starting point is 01:00:02 I mean, man, I really think Chick doesn't have a high profit margin. Oh, and so good. I mean, man, I really think Chick doesn't have a high profit margin. Oh, and so that's subtracting our saving your life cost, which was 70 gold pieces. We forgot to send the bill, but here it is. I like how you led this conversation with, I'm willing to pay
Starting point is 01:00:18 for it, and now you're doing everything you can to not pay for it. 70 gold. Fine. Are you buying it? I mean, I guess. Okay okay you hand over the 70 gold and chick says okay now the trick is gum gum what you may not have known since you know you did not acquire this legally the first time is you have to make sure you're attuned to this whistle in order for it to have the most chance for working for you so you need to spend time with this actively in your hands so that you become one with it and then you have a better chance of it working out for you.
Starting point is 01:00:46 Thank you. Okay. Now go tell your friends to pay me or bring my stuff back. I don't know what you're talking about. They'll know. I gotta get out of here. I think it's time to find our egress. I approach Smarsh and I say, Smarsh want new home?
Starting point is 01:01:01 Smarsh king there? Smarsh king everywhere. Make an animal handling roll. Oh god. With advantage, this is Smarsh. Cause he's your pet. 14? I think you've asked to roll an advantage on every roll this session.
Starting point is 01:01:18 With advantage, right? Smarsh asks, where home? Home, oh god. Boulder ray. Uh, home far. Smarsh, right to Kyborg. Kyborg bad egg goodbye. Smarsh meet bear. Kyborg cool with this.
Starting point is 01:01:37 Take a while for Smarsh. Kyborg understand. Smarsh is best friend. I give Smarsh a big hug. Aw, Smarsh likes that. All right, Smarsh is best friend. I give Smarsh a big hug. Aw, Smarsh likes that. Alright, Smarsh is king. While this is happening, Bart is pretending to be like the mom seeing their son go away to college and he's
Starting point is 01:01:54 like dabbing little tears from his eyes and he has like a handkerchief wrapped around his head all of a sudden. Oh, my boy! You be safe out there on the roads. Use your turn signal. So Bart has come and told us about the message? Yes.
Starting point is 01:02:09 Okay. Then I think Mud would like to make haste towards getting out of town. All right. How are y'all going to make your way back to Bouldery? I think the Ahem-mobile, my friends. Dun-dun-dun-dun. Cowabunga. What animal are you turning into?
Starting point is 01:02:21 I'll be a giant owl this time. Giant owl. What does that sound like. That also screeches. It screeches unlike a bat which clicks. I believe I said also. You guys are both wrong. The poll said I was right. We all know.
Starting point is 01:02:36 Listen, the poll was stolen. Jeez. Both of them? I need poll watchers to make sure there's no shenanigans. Widespread pole fraud. And how far away is Boulder in clicks, would you say? That's actually a distance. I know.
Starting point is 01:02:52 It'll take about half a day of travel to get there. It's due northwest from Pius Pass. Well, let's hop in this airship. This plane is leaving. Cowabunga! I wave at Smarsh as we fly away. You all take off. Mud, roll me a D6 just for fun.
Starting point is 01:03:11 No such thing. Everything's fun. We're playing a game. I learned anything from Black Box Down. It's the most dangerous time for flying is takeoff and landing. That's right. Toot. Yeah, but luckily this is a very smooth takeoff.
Starting point is 01:03:22 You all fly into the sky and leave Pius Pass as a small dot on the ground on the horizon behind you. After a few hours, you begin recognizing the terrain again. You get close to Boulderay. You're going to set down just south of the town. You see a nice spot to put the hem mobile down. Roll me a D6 again for mud. Coming in for a landing. Don't forget your path.
Starting point is 01:03:43 I thought you were going to say don't forget the flaps. Yeah. Yeah, you land perfectly. It's a perfect touchdown and you all get out of the Ahem-mobile. Mudfly good. You all have been really good with those rolls, actually.
Starting point is 01:03:54 I think you've only had one complication all the times you've used it. It's because I'm a good flyer. Especially after that nice long rest. We're all feeling good. That was nice. I just start firing all my spells. You arrive at the southern gates of Boulderay just as the sun reaches high noon.
Starting point is 01:04:07 Couples are walking along the Boulder Way ramps hand in hand, and children are picking flowers and playing tag with each other, and merchants are haggling curios to pass her by. Oh, I guess I suppose we should just head to the tavern. Yeah, do we see any, like, signs that point us in the direction of the Throne Gauntlet Tavern? Or do we remember where it is? You remember, and yeah, I mean, there are signs to guide around town but you know where the throne gauntlet tavern is you've spent time there okay i start heading that direction i follow you all arrive
Starting point is 01:04:33 there and open the door and the whole tavern is quiet and empty safer dr and mayor brink they look to be sitting in the corner with a hooded figure they They see you come in and both Brink and Dr. Ahem come over to you. Oh, thank Daya, you got my message. I hope your journey was worthwhile. Yes, we did get your message. Um, we had a great journey actually. What seems to be the need for us to get
Starting point is 01:04:57 here so quickly, Doctor? Brink interjects with a clearing his throat. Dr. Ahem turns to look at him. Brink turns to Mud. He puts his hand on your shoulder but doesn't speak straight away. He just looks at you with a clearing his throat. Dr. Ahem turns to look at him. Brink turns to Mud. He puts his hand on your shoulder, but doesn't speak straight away. He just looks at you with a soft expression for a moment and finally says,
Starting point is 01:05:10 We'll be right outside if you need anything. Brink turns and makes his way for the door and Dr. Ahem sighs and exits as well. A chair shuffles at the corner table. The cloaked figure stands tall inside the tavern, nearly to the ceiling. They lower their hood, revealing a young, slender face covered in ruddy fur. With piercing caramel eyes, the furball steps forward to Mud. Oh.
Starting point is 01:05:34 Uh, who is it? I've been looking a long time for you, brother. Ah, dang it. Mud's Ark! Woo! Mud brother! It's me, Clay. Listen, we'll have plenty of time to catch up later,
Starting point is 01:05:50 but you have to come with me right away. It's about Father. He's... He's dying. Oh. Yeah, that's a man. We can really feel the emotion coming from mud. Tune in next time to find out what's happening with mud clay and their father on the next episode and the next arc of tales from the stinky dragon oh clay and
Starting point is 01:06:33 mud i guess clay's a funny name delay was great. Those ender cells know more than they should. I thought you said this was going to be simple. Patience, my friend. Patience. Clearly we're not the only ones with our eyes on the future, in a manner of speaking. Then why did you send in the arm-obsessed elf? Quadrant played the role of a pawn, just as I expected. But now the pieces are in place, and the game can truly begin. you

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