Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Arrested in Attro City - C02 Ep 03 - Worst Chase Scenario
Episode Date: May 10, 2023With help from the Alchemist, the party breaks out of jail and figures out a plan to clear their names! Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/Tal...esFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://joinhoney.com/dragon to get PayPal Honey for free. Go to http://rtxaustin.com to buy your badge! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This is a Rooster Teeth Production. into the Stinky Dragon and buy our latest brew, Setbriar to the Rains. It's a mixture of freshly
squeezed good berry juice, hoarsely ground moonbolt coffee, one large carrot stick, and a sprinkling
of brown sugar cubes. One sip of this strong stallion sauce is enough to clear up any morning
fog cloud. Previously, our adventurers turned the clocks back 24 hours into the past and relived
when they all first met. T'was the 113th anniversary of the Peace Treaty.
They celebrated with festive food, a parade of prominent leaders,
and a magic show that ended rather morbidly.
Cobble yourself some coffee.
Let's continue on this cocoderous chronicle.
Cocoderous? Cocoderous? What is wrong with you?
He's talking to Micah right now.
Not himself?
Not you, the listener, okay?
I'll beg it's replaced.
No, no, no, that stays in.
Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
My name is Gustavo Sorolla.
I am your Dungeon Master. I'm joined Gustavo Sorolla. I am your dungeon master.
I'm joined today by four players.
Players, introduce yourselves.
What is your name?
What is your character's name?
What's your class, race, species, all that stuff?
I am Chris Damaris, and I'm playing Barney Farney, the male cleric.
Human cleric.
There you go.
The male cleric. What a weird way of describing him.
A boy cleric.
The boy window.
Blaine Gibson.
I play Chip Haney, and he's a tiefling rogue.
Why is everyone yelling?
Because we never did this in campaign one.
I don't know why this is.
Hype all the way up.
Hype meter 100.
Hype dial.
I'm John Reisinger, and I'm realizing that taking notes is really
helping me remember what happened the last
time we had a episode.
I've started finally taking notes
on nine.
Are we close to 100 episodes? This is probably
like counting the bonus
ones. It's probably like 94, 95
somewhere in there. This is episode three.
This is episode three and
94. True. For our
new listeners, this is episode 3, but we do have a campaign
one. I'm sorry, Barbara, go ahead.
I didn't even tell my character. That's what I didn't get to.
I play
Matisse Conficis, who is a
Aarakocra monk.
Ghost monk.
Yes, a very important part.
I'm Barbara Dunkelman, and I'm playing
Elga von Brath breath who is a female
half elf vampire barbarian probably other things too secretly secretly very small i i realized also
listening um like these are obviously very different characters we're playing different
classes and different races and stuff like that than the first campaign but they're all
similar in a sense.
Like there are some things that carry over.
Like at some points, Chris did sound a little bit like old Gum Gum.
Yeah.
I'm playing like the tiniest character of the bunch again.
Yeah.
I mean, I guess we all kind of have our own little flavors that we can't get away from. We're all real people. Like playing characters.
In veil over who we really are.
Start the show, guys.
Well, to get the show started,
we like to have a little warm up.
So I think we, you know,
normally we roll a D100 to pick that question.
I think in the first episode,
Barbara rolled it.
And I think Blaine rolled it last time.
Chris or John,
why don't you call it and roll the D100?
I rolled a one.
You rolled a one.
Out of a hundred.
Yeah.
Wow.
This is not going to bode well for you guys.
All right.
So everyone's going to answer this, but Chris, you're going to kick it off.
This question is from Micah.
Hello, Micah.
Our writer, composer, the DM behind the DM.
Biggest fan.
What does truth mean to your character?
How important is it?
Jesus Christ.
What does truth mean to my character?
That's what you get for rolling a one.
I would say truth matters.
I want it in the voice.
I am.
Go, go, go.
I'm not going to ignore that.
Go, go, go.
I don't even remember.
Get back. Get out of that box. I'm looking for the truth.
Always.
That is definitely Yoda.
I just don't remember it.
Just like your voice.
Yeah.
Who's next?
I want to someone else answer it.
Hey, Jay.
Chipainy here.
Long time listener.
First time caller.
Truth is following your heart, you know?
And it's doing what you think is right.
And if you're doing something that you think is right,
then that's the truth.
Yeah.
Even if that is a bad thing.
As long as it's in your heart, it's truth.
Live your truth.
Speak your truth.
Real chaotic neutral energy there.
He was saying that to a guy right before he was like slitting his throat he's like that's what truth is to me partner
partner john uh the truth i uh it is uh subjective to a certain degree um but i still find it to be
quite important and and uh a measure of the value of a person
but he's a flat earther you heard him i mean maybe uh grotesque is flat who knows oh god is it
yeah we're not dealing we're not dealing with earth blaine looked around his mic to look at me
barblu is mine um you know i don't i don't think there is really importance in truth.
I think it's just a matter of what helps you, you know, get by and get ahead in life.
And, you know, if you have to be untruthful to people to save yourself, that is okay.
Ain't that the truth?
The truth is flexible.
You can tell which of the four of us is actually a longstanding professional voice actor.
Just straight into her voice while everybody else was stumbling their way through.
You guys did great.
Way to go, Chris.
Random applause for everyone.
Let's get that hype meter all the way up.
You can't maintain these levels of hype.
The gray suited man quickly hobbles over with his cane and falls to his knees next to her.
Lorenza, can you hear me?
And shakes her werewolfian body in his hands.
Lorenza! Lorenza!
Boom! Thunderous skies begin to drizzle overhead.
A voice cries out from the crowd.
They killed her! They killed the wolfmen!
The crowd begins murmuring.
Murderers! Murderers! Who? Murderers!
What?
Boo!
Surely they cannot be talking about us.
Are they talking about us?
A plump mustachioed man wearing a cough uniform runs on stage armed with a hand crossbow revolver.
Nobody move.
I'm Chief Inspector Weasel and you're all unnoticed.
With these ghastly events now fresh in your mind, we return to the present day.
The four of you are standing at the top of the stairs of Wolfham Officer Force Station
with none other than the gray-suited man you now know as the Alchemist.
He slowly opens the door, revealing a thunderstorm downpouring outside.
Behind you down the hall is the sound of whistles being blown,
but they sound like wolves along with footsteps fast approaching.
A voice calls out from down the hall.
I'm Chief Inspector Weezer.
Stop in the name of the law!
I'm afraid introductions will have to wait.
Quickly now.
We must make a break for it and find Shelton.
The gray man hobbles out the door with his cane into the turbulent tempest.
Everyone roll initiative.
Oh my gosh.
Wait, so did we have a long rest between then and now?
Because we've been in jail just kind of hanging out.
No.
Oh God.
20.
Descent.
Very good.
That's 17.
12.
Five.
For Elga.
Oh, y'all set them in order.
All right.
So you all, like I said, you all are at the top of the stairs
fleeing this cough station.
Before you is the Wolfham alleyways.
So it's up to you to decide what you want to do, whether it's try and escape or hide or face the cough constables head to head.
And we're going to go around and we're going to find out what you guys think about that.
Barney, you're first with a 20. What do you want to do?
So we're in an alleyway and how many guys are around us?
at 20. What do you want to do? Wait, so we're in an alleyway, and how many
guys are around us? Uh, well, with
you right now, currently, it's just the alchemist, but you do
hear, uh, Chief Inspector Weezer
as well as the sounds of other, uh,
constables, uh, running up behind you.
Behind us. What's ahead of us in the alleyway?
You're in, like, the northwest corner
of the alleyway, and before you, uh,
immediately, there's, uh,
the alleyway proceeds a little bit, then
branches off left and right.
Okay, okay, okay.
Barney's time to be decisive.
First in line.
How far away are the people behind us?
You don't know.
I don't know.
You just hear the sound of them yelling and approaching.
Does it sound like they're, like, within 90 feet?
It's hard to say, because behind you,
if you remember, it's a bit of a corridor.
There's some branching doors on either side.
That's where you recovered your stuff from the locker.
That's where the interrogation room was.
And then it kind of curves around to the side where some cells were.
So you can definitely see looking down the hallway is less than 90 feet,
but you can't see back around the corner.
Just for fun here, Chris, make me a, let's call it a history check.
A history.
Nothing's more fun than history.
17.
17.
Even though Barney has trouble remembering things and his mind can be cloudy at times,
there is one thing he does know is true and that he remembers.
The use of magic is illegal in Atro City without a permit.
Oh.
Do we have permits?
No.
Okay.
Could have put a lot of money on that answer.
Just Ashton?
That being said, breaking out of jail is also illegal.
So take it for what you will.
Even here?
In a place where there's blobs and ghosts.
Come on, let's run.
Yeah.
And we all just sprint past Barney.
And Barney hobbles.
Look at the speed of that old man.
What's Barney's hobble speed?
Well, it's actually walking 30.
So I guess I'll run to the whatever, the left way you said?
Yeah, the option to the left or the right.
I'll give you a little more flavor here.
If you want to proceed, like when you get to the intersection that go both left and right,
to the left are stairs that go down a short way.
And then to the right is just a flat alley
that continues down. And then from what you can tell,
it looks like it branches off again further down
to the right. Stairs to go down to
like another alleyway type thing or
to like a... Correct. Go down the stairs.
Okay. Yeah.
The man with the walker.
I like to... Get out of like eyesight,
right? Yeah.
My head cannon has Barney wearing Heelys.
Yeah.
Just like the sneakers, the little wheels on the bottom.
That's how he could move so fast.
Yeah.
And he may be old and he may have a walker, but he can run.
Yeah.
He's a speedy guy.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
So you encourage your friends to run and you take the left branch of the alleyway
and make your way down to the bottom of the stairs.
And can I ready an action?
I can't.
Yeah.
Well, what did you have in mind?
Sleep.
Sleep?
Like a sleep spell?
You don't want to sleep.
Okay.
I was like, you don't want to go to sleep.
Bernie, not at the time.
Ready an action.
It's just you taking out a pillow.
You want to like ready sleep in case what?
In case guys come around trying to fight us.
Okay, so if, like, an enemy comes around, you're going to do your try, cast sleep.
Yeah, I'll wait until, like, everyone moves and then cast sleep at the end.
All right.
On that note, I believe, Matide, it's your turn.
Yeah.
Witnessing the speedy and decisive movements of Barney.
Mati follows.
And actually, once I'm at that, my, what's my range?
My range is like 30 as well.
25.
I'm slower than you.
Once I get to the edge of that,
can I, with my dark vision, see anything further down the stairs?
Make me a perception check.
A 25 would also put you pretty much near the end of the stairs as well.
You're pretty close to Barney.
You know, we're talking five feet.
Bottom of the stairs.
Yeah.
Uh, that's a 20.
So at the bottom of the stairs, the alley kind of takes a small,
like a small diversion, a small path turned to the left.
And it's kind of a small open area.
And in this open area with your high perception,
you think you hear a voice coming from the floor of the alley hey over here uh can i can i can i look towards the direction where the
voice yeah there's a um a sewer cover that's slightly popped open so it's like a manhole
cover yeah yeah exactly and it's slightly ajar yeah i? Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it's slightly ajar.
Yeah, I head towards that.
Okay, so you'll do like a double move to get over there?
Yeah. Yeah, you get there.
And like I said, you see the manhole cover, the sewer cover slightly ajar.
And under it, you see a familiar looking Abrelion, who you remember as Quill,
who you just met a few minutes ago in captivity.
Bonjour, Monsieur Quill, who you just met a few minutes ago in captivity. Bonjour, Monsieur Quill.
Bonjour.
If you want to hide, come down here with me.
Could I do like an insight check on what his intentions are?
That's just a trustful.
Essentially.
Yeah.
Does that mean he also somehow escaped his cell?
That's another 20.
Dang.
Well, 15 plus 5.
I'm going to be Well, 15 plus 5. I'm going to be clear.
15 plus 5.
Your insight tells you that you don't think Quill is hiding anything.
If anything, he seems a little nervous.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
He should be hiding himself.
Good one.
Yeah, yeah.
He doesn't seem to be hiding anything other than his corporeal body.
I call back.
Everyone, follow me.
I found a friend.
I'm in front of you.
I'm in front of you.
He double,
Matide double moves
so Matide is in front of you now.
Allons-y.
And that's Matide's turn.
So you get in the hole?
Yeah.
I'll say you don't have
quite enough to get
all the way down
but you're up at the manhole.
Sure.
Elga.
Would I be able to hear
Matide say that
from where I am?
It's kind of rainy. It's kind of noisy in the alley. Make a
perception check just for fun. How good are
your elf vampire ears?
Very good. 22. Nice. Yeah, absolutely.
Okay. Elga follows
the voice of Matide to go
to the left down the path. You also double move
I assume? Yeah, but my walking speed is 30.
Okay, so you would get
there. Caught up to Matide, but I'd say you would still
be in the alley there. Okay. And I'll tell
you what, just for fun, also, Elga, roll me
a d20. What's an abrelian? It's
a general term for
in our language,
in our world, you would say like an alien. You said
it was like a floating brain? Yeah, this particular
abrelian looks kind of like
a bulbous floating brain with like a
wide, sharp beak and no eyes and long tentacles.
Oh, yeah.
I remember that description.
You guys kept calling it Australian.
I do remember that now.
Okay, I rolled a 14.
Okay, great.
Thank you.
What does that do?
I don't know.
What is going on over here?
How do we get out of here?
You guys just come down here and I think we can escape.
But how did you get out of your cell?
How are you?
Where are you?
Where are you?
I'm down here in the sewer.
But you had to escape the cell at some point too.
When did that happen?
I don't know.
There was a big explosion and the guards were distracted and there was a hole in the wall.
So we ran out.
That's all I can tell you.
Okay. So I guess you double move, Elga, that we are at Chip Haney. distracted and there was a hole in the wall so we ran out that's all i can tell you okay so i guess
you double move uh elga that we are at chip haney just to because of the precedent we said here why
don't you roll me a perception check as well to see if you can hear uh matide calling out okie
dokie oh that's a nine you didn't hear matide yelling for y'all to come this way but you did
see everyone run off and go to the left oh je, jeepers creepers better go that way.
And then I run that way.
So you run with one move to get to the bottom of the stairs.
You get caught up to where Barney is.
Okay.
And you can see Elga and Mateed crouching down,
looking in a manhole just a little up ahead of you.
Okay.
Well, then I want to assist Barney
and make sure that he gets into the manhole before I do.
Okay, so you're going to kind of hang tight here,
splitting the party up with
Barney at the base of the stairs. I'll be okay.
No, it's okay, Barney. Right this way.
Right this way. I know.
You're helping. I'm being a helper.
I'm just going to ready my...
Unless assisting Barney requires
an action, I'm just going to, like, ready
myself or whatever.
So you're going one walk distance and then ready.
Yeah.
To cover.
Yeah.
Do you have anything specific in mind you want to ready or just like.
I ain't got no spells.
Follow the law.
And it's illegal.
It's illegal.
That's right.
Follow the law.
Like a melee attack.
I have a rapier that I can prepare.
Sure.
You get ready to just make a melee strike if anyone shows up.
I say, on guard! And then I'm like, yeah,
Matilde.
Matilde.
Oh, shucks.
Okay, from where you are,
Barney and Chip,
both of you please make me one more
percept to check you.
Twelve. Four!
That's a five minus one.
Chip, you're somewhat distracted by everything that's going on.
You're overwhelmed maybe with the smells and the raucous nature of what's going on.
I do like the rain.
Oh, do you?
Yeah, very romantic.
Barney, however, you're a little more focused since you're prepared,
and you can hear the voices getting closer,
and you know hear the voices getting closer and you know that the or you can
tell that the coughs have now reached the the exit from the holding facility where you were
your previous turn you can't see them yet but you you can tell that they're getting closer
from where i am can i see any like open doors or windows or anything uh further away like the other
direction like not up the stairs or anything like that? Yeah, from where you are,
you can only see up the stairs,
like on this one corridor,
everything else would be like to the left around a corner
or to the right around a corner at this point.
But there are closed doors and windows in this alley
coming down the stair that you can see.
And there's a sewer with a giant brain.
Ooh.
I'm gonna use thaumaturgy, okay?
Uh-huh. And
it's a spell. You doing magic?
Oh, no. And
I hope it's not bad. Anyway,
I want to create
an instantaneous sound that
originates from a point of your choice within range.
And can I make the sound of
like a door
slamming shut, like the other direction of where we didn't go?
Yeah, and one of the options is you instantaneously cause
an unlocked door or, well, I see why you're asking,
or window to fly open or slam shut.
They were all closed, though.
He's making a noise.
Yeah, so you can make the noise.
You can't actually close the door, though,
or window or door, I should say.
Yeah, I guess I'll just do that. Make the sound of
like a door slam shut.
Do you have to roll anything for that?
No?
Okay, I guess it's up to them to try to determine whether
or not they can tell. Okay.
Let me make a couple rolls here.
It's a distraction.
You can't see them,
so you don't know how effective it was necessarily,
but you think maybe the bulk of the sounds of pursuit are receding.
As you're doing that,
the alchemist quickly shuffles past you
and gives you a pat on the head, Barney.
Well done.
And he keeps moving on towards the sewer cover that's further ahead.
We're going in the sewer.
All right, is there anything else you want to do, Barney?
Well, I guess I'll just keep going.
I'll run.
Yeah, you still have one movement,
which would be enough to get you there.
Yeah, I'll do that.
All right, just because I don't want to make any assumptions,
what specifically do you do with this move?
I move and follow the others into the hole.
Oh, gotcha.
No one's in the hole yet,
but they're starting to begin that process.
Go ahead, just for fun, roll me a d20, Barney.
16.
Okay.
Yeah, you're able to catch up with everyone
looking down into the manhole,
and you see Quill at the bottom.
I made a door noise.
All right, Mateed, I didn't have you roll me a d20.
Roll me a d20 just for fun.
19.
Okay, wow.
Lots of good rolls here.
What is happening?
All right, um...
Mateed is a very interesting character.
I'm worried about these d20s.
I can't tell if Gus is happy about that one.
All right, what do you want to do, Mateed?
Before you lies the open manhole,
and down at the bottom you see Quill.
I jump down.
Yeah, it's only about a 15-foot drop.
I drop down.
Okay.
Make a...
Since it is a little bit of a drop,
just go ahead.
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm an air croaker.
I float down with those wings.
Oh.
Can you really extend them going through a manhole?
At the very least, you can get down there
and they're also very light.
Okay, okay.
Okay.
I'll give it to you.
Yeah.
All right, so Mateed,
you have jumped down the manhole and gracefully floated and landed in sewage.
Like a feathery ballerina.
What do I see?
Obviously, Quill is there with you.
It's a pretty dim sewage tunnel, and it does not smell great.
The smells are all kind of overwhelming, the smell of refuse and stormwater.
The walls are covered, you know, in moss and lichen, and it's generally not a very pleasant
place.
So I'm just in a big room?
It's like a long passageway.
Okay.
How much of my movement speed did that drop cost me?
Let's say that took half of your move.
Walking speed or flying speed?
Flying.
Okay.
From here, you know, this is, you're at kind of one dead end and then the passageway
appears to go head south a little bit and then kind of dead end and turn to the left.
Okay.
Which would be east.
Yeah, Matisse is going to keep going.
So I go...
Head to the south a bit?
Head to the south.
How far does that take me?
If I, I can't fly down here, I assume, right?
No, it's pretty cramped.
To get to the point where you turn, it's about 25, 30 feet.
Okay, I can get to that distance.
Can I get to the bend?
Yeah.
Can I look down the bend?
Yeah, then from here, when you turn to the east,
you see there is a trough of refuse flowing,
and there's some planks over it to walk across to the other side.
And on the other side, you see a door.
Oh, a door. As you walk away,
Aquil says, you don't want to wait for your friends?
I am sketching ahead. Ah, yes.
Very good indeed. Okay,
I'm there. Okay, Elga, you're still
in the alleyway. Yeah.
I feel like Elga at
this point wouldn't go down yet.
I think she's going to
provide cover for this manhole
as the rest of her team goes in.
Well, you know, I'm very strong and, you know,
someone must protect this area
and make sure we all escape okay.
You are now my friend.
You know, Elko is so heroic.
Also, I'm hoping maybe one of them comes by
because I am very hungry.
All right, so you're just kind of delaying
your action, making sure everyone gets in okay? And maybe
kind of like ready my greataxe. Yeah.
In case someone gets in melee range, you'll take a swing?
Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you got it. And here I
thought Mateed would take me under her wing.
That's an Aarakocra joke,
yeah? Ah, you're a giant
bird. I like how you
just scream it at the end. Alright, that's
Elga
Which takes us to Chip Haney
Oh, yeah
Do you prefer I call you Chip or Chip Haney?
I realize I've been saying Chip Haney every time
I like Chip Haney
You can call me whatever you want, partner
Alright, so I'm in the manhole thing
Barney's gone down
No, only Matide
Only Matide
Well, I was going to cover barney but if elga wants
to take care of that then i'm gonna go cover matita i don't want to get the party too too
separated so i'm gonna slip down this here manhole 15 foot drop uh well i did mention in my past
that i was part of the volunteer fire brigade being a tiefling who was resistant to fire i was putting
my natural abilities good use so i feel like i'd be pretty proficient at going please tell me down
tell me what firemen do that drops them 15 feet oh you know elevator shafts jumping
helping climbing up down i'll tell you what make me a perception check okay this has nothing to do
with the animal does it you got dark vision or anything i do there you go i think both
blaine's character and my character have dark vision that's a six okay nothing nothing nothing
huh that's a six okay well i want to do that thing where there's no ladder right no it's just a drop
down okay can i do that thing where i like
put my hands on either side of the wall and then my legs on either side of the wall and then i'm
just going to use some of the friction to lower myself down or is it just like a gaping hole
kind of like a gaping hole that goes down it's not just like a tube where you could do that
what you gonna do i'm gonna look and see if the amateur g my old trusted old trusted thing. That's not gonna do anything for you.
No, it's just got me something here.
You could probably land, okay.
Yeah, you could do a check.
Aren't you like a rogue?
I am.
Are you supposed to be nimble?
Okay, then how about I do some cool parkour where I jump from one wall to the next.
Just, I'm gonna drop down the hole.
All right, just make me, just for fun, just make me a dexterity check.
I'll give you advantage on this one.
Oh, that's a... No, just make me a dexterity check. I'll give you advantage on this one. Oh, that's a...
No, no, not a save, a check.
Oh, God.
Second campaign.
Still can't get those straight.
Some people just don't.
So we'll say that was a 20.
Okay.
We'll just convert the first one because it's just a plus two.
So you rolled a 24.
That should actually be a 22 because it's a check and a 10.
Those are the two we'll take.
Wahoo.
Yes, a 22 because it's a check and a 10. Those are the two we'll take. Wahoo. Yes, a 22.
That's great.
You dive into the manhole,
and you're able to nimbly do a little tuck and roll at the bottom
and avoid taking any damage.
Ah, right through all the sewage.
Yum.
What do I see?
Well, I will say the sewage is off a little bit.
Like where you land, it's actually kind of a dry spot.
The sewage is further down around to the left
where Mateed saw it actively flowing.
Cool.
What do I see?
You see Quill down here
and you're at the Northern end of a long rectangular room.
And then down to the South,
you see Mateed kind of peeking around the corner.
Okay. I'm going to go as far as I can
to get close to Mateed.
Okay.
And then when I pass Quill, I say,
Oh, you must be the brains of the operation
because you're a floating brain.
Wow, Chip.
I've never heard that one before.
Ah, high five.
He puts out a tentacle with a claw at the end.
Actually, he puts up five of them.
Oh, better high five him.
This is new for us.
We just learned this one.
Okay, that was Chip Haney.
That takes us to...
Oh, back up to Barney.
Actually, I'm sorry. One second before you go, I have to
make a couple rolls for myself. It's the guys
pursuing us. Okay.
Yeah, that takes us back up to Barney. Okay.
Barney's going to hop down.
Yeah? Okay. How's this going to go?
Gracefully.
Barney has really good night vision, like 300 feet. Does that help him go? Uh, gracefully. Um, and Barney has really good night vision.
Like, 300 feet. Does that help him fall?
Oh, it helps him see.
It helps him see where he's
landing. He can see the danger
as it hits him. He can see all 15 feet
of the drop.
Alright, uh, go ahead and roll me a, uh,
dexterity check, please. Uh,
Barney, dexterity check.
I got 20-20 vision. I can fall like the best of them.
Or acrobatics.
If you want to put a little fancy flourish, you can do that.
Yeah.
A little acrobatics.
Yeah.
He has a higher acrobatics.
Yeah.
He wants to jump down and do a flip.
Well, what I'm picturing is like in gymnast routines, like you put your walker down and
you do like a handstand straight up from it. And then you, like, push off and then do a flip and then, you know, grab the walker on the way down
and land with it in a handstand again at the bottom.
Yeah, I want to do that.
Okay.
I've lived over a century.
I've never seen anything like this.
All right.
Definitely have seen something like this.
Have you ever seen an old person fall down?
Yes, many times.
This is very familiar.
How's this going to go?
How is it going to go, Gus?
Make him fall.
Make him fall.
In your mind, it looked way different than the actual execution.
Does he get even into the hole?
We'll say yes.
He just flips over.
He just flips over the hole.
You manage to fall, not not gracefully into the hole,
landing at the bottom, and you
take four points of damage.
My hit.
It was probably
loud, too, because he's got this big old
walker that's made of metal clattering on the
floor with him.
Magical life alert or anything?
Yeah, I have one health.
I had already taken four damage from like a...
Oh, no.
We're so tiny.
That's okay.
I'm okay.
As a bonus action, I want to cast Healing Word on myself.
Okay.
What's your Healing Word?
Benkei.
Benkei.
This podcast is not sponsored by Benkei.
We're an icy hot group here.
Five. Five.
Ooh.
I'm back.
That was the minimum you could have gotten.
Yeah.
I feel like the bones would be cracking as he got back up.
Is that it for you, Barney?
Can I go any further?
You would still have movement if you wanted to.
You could probably catch up to Matit and
Chipaini down to the south if you wanted.
Yeah, I'll do that. With
dexterity that surprises you,
Barney bounces from the
ground. You hear it. You know when you
call out things like that, he's going to make you roll.
No, I'm just saying.
I get back up fast. All you guys have to do is
say, I walked here, and he won't make you roll.
I'm just going to see if you're going to give yourself two more I walked here, and he won't make you roll. I'm just... To see if you're going to give yourself
two more pit points of damage.
No, I'm just...
I'm not doing anything crazy.
I'm just...
I'm trying to describe it, what happened.
You know?
So, like, I hit the ground with a crack,
and you don't know if it's the ground or my hip.
And then I go...
Icy hot.
Icy hot. Icy hot.
And then I wobble towards you guys.
Wobble?
Hobble.
Hobble.
Wobble hobble.
I mean, you did get some damage, so you may have been wobbling.
All right.
So you join them to the south.
Is that it for Barney?
Yeah, he's had enough.
The whole gang's here.
Not Elga.
I'm still up here.
Who said that?
Be careful. The alchemist
is still up above
ground as well and pats you
on the back, Elga. Why, thank you,
Elga. Much appreciated.
And he walks over to
a nearby wall, picks up a ladder
and tosses it down the
manhole. What are you doing, Gus?
Walking down.
What are you doing here?
Using the ladder.
Where did this ladder come from?
It's the ladder you didn't see when you rolled a six on your perception check.
Oh, dear.
Like this.
It all comes back.
Sometimes you don't find out what the rolls were for.
Sometimes the alchemist shows you.
I'm glad I have closure.
So yeah, the alchemist tosses the ladder down the manhole and begins scurrying down.
Boy, am I glad that I waited for you because I would have hurt myself trying to jump.
Sometimes patience is the key, huh?
That being said, however, it is Matide's turn.
Oh.
So from your perspective, what you see, again, Elga is not down yet.
The alchemist is staying with Quill under the manhole.
You are surrounded by Chip and Barney.
And then to the east from where you are is like a trough of refuse and sewage with planks over it,
leading to a small platform on the other side with a door that's closed.
Yeah, I crossed the door.
Over the planks.
Yeah.
I feel like Matee to be able to traverse this with ease.
It is your duty.
God, that took a while for us to get to a poop joke.
Duty.
Yeah, you begin crossing across to the door on the other side.
And while you're doing that, you hear the alchemist.
Perhaps we should wait a moment for all of us to regroup.
Sorry, I'm holding up the tea.
Matide proceeds.
Okay.
Yeah, you proceed.
And then right across is a door that appears to be closed.
What is it?
It's a wooden door.
Big old wooden door in a sewer.
Can I listen to see if I hear anything on the other side of the door?
Yeah, make a perception check.
Actually, can I do this?
So I want to do incorporeal movement.
Ooh, that's a new one.
And can I stick my head through?
So for our listeners, incorporeal movement is an ability that you have as a ghost,
which allows you to once per short rest, you can
use a bonus action to move through other creatures and objects as if they were difficult terrain for
up to one minute with concentration. And if you end your turn inside an object, you take some
force damage. So since this would take less than a minute, you would want to use your incorporeal
movement to stick your head through the door and see what's going on movement to stick your head through the door. Yeah. And see what's going on. Yeah. You stick your head through the door and look around.
And it's a fairly small room.
If you had to guess, I don't know, 15 feet by 15 feet or so.
And at the northern end of the room,
there appears to be a pretty large pipe that's dripping.
It's like kind of rusty and looks kind of old and falling apart.
And make me a perception check for anything beyond that.
You said the pipe was at the other end of the room?
It was at the north end of the room.
So you're approaching from the west side.
Yeah, yeah.
So you have to turn to your left to see this big pipe.
And there's a pipe like in the ceiling or in the wall?
In the wall.
Okay.
And then make me a perception check as well.
Perception...
Oh, six.
Yeah, and it's just a tiled room with the dripping water pipe up to the north.
How big's the pipe?
Are we talking like a normal size pipe or like Mario?
It's pretty sizable.
Not quite Mario size.
It's, I don't know what normal size pipe is.
I mean like a sink pipe.
Oh, no, no.
Bigger than that.
This is more like what you would expect.
I would say if I had to take a guess as to the diameter of the pipe,
it's probably, let's say, eight inches in diameter.
And I don't see any creatures in here?
No, you do not see any creatures.
All you can really see is the pipe
that is dripping.
But can't fit us up it, I assume,
if it's eight inches.
Oh, no, no.
You're small, Elga,
but you're not that small.
Oh, thank you.
I bring my head back through
and I'm awake.
Okay.
Hey there, Mateed.
I ate a burger last week.
I don't think it fully digested.
Can you take a look into my stomach?
Respect your magic power.
See what the ruckus is in there.
End the turn right there.
You've got a minute.
Yeah, I've got a whole minute of it.
Plenty of time.
I am sorry.
That is not how I use disability.
Doki doki.
Mateed is now is waiting outside the door.
That takes us to Elga.
You are the final
remaining person up
above ground.
And do I am I
aware that anyone
is getting close or
does it seem like
they're make a
perception check.
This is where Elga
puts the manhole
cover on and goes
off on Elga's own
side adventure.
14.
Available on
Spotify wherever
you find podcasts.
It sounds like the pursuers might have gone in another direction.
Perhaps Barney's subterfuge worked and distracted them.
Okay, Elga will go down the manhole, and could she also put the cover back over?
Look at you, thinking ahead.
Smart.
Yes, absolutely.
Since the ladder's there, it's easy enough for you to wait and pull the manhole cover over.
You know, Bar, we give yourself an inspiration day.
Wait a minute.
Go ahead.
Salutations, my stinky supporters.
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Yeah, so you clamber down the ladder and meet up with the alchemist and Quill who are still standing at the base.
As you're getting off the ladder, you hear the alchemist and Quill are having a conversation.
Thank you, Quill, was it?
Hey, don't mention it.
If you don't mind me asking, why were you guys locked up in the first place?
Quill actually turns and looks at you, Elga, when he asks that.
place. Quill actually turns and looks at you, Elka,
when he asks that.
Well, you know, my memory has been coming back to me a little bit, and I
think that they wrongfully think that I was
involved in a murder.
Ooh, a murder? And you know,
I've done plenty of murders,
but this one I did not, so...
It really hurts when you get accused of a murder
you didn't do. Exactly, yes. It's very...
It seems personal in that case.
I've done a lot of murder
in my day.
I won't lie about it.
You're not there.
Oh.
Yeah, you proceeded
to the south.
You're not there.
Were you serious?
Yeah, same.
Talking to yourself
at the other end of the room?
Oh, yeah, back in my day
I did lots of murders.
The alchemist
looks at you, Elga,
and says,
well, for what it's worth,
I don't think you
or your friends
were involved
in the murder
of Lorenza either. You were on the stage with her, right? Were you close? Oh, yes. I've known
Lorenza for many, many years. We met when I was still a custodian at Lofton College. She helped
me get my life back on track and establish at their asylum to provide alchemical care for those
seeking refuge. Ah, goodwill hunting. Good movie. But I think perhaps we should try
to figure out who is behind this to clear
our names. Wait, so really quick.
The alchemist, was he the one that
was doing the phony magic tricks or was he the one
that came to her aid? The alchemist came
to the aid. Or was that Zuzu Top?
Correct. Zuzu Top. Oh, excellent.
We don't like Zuzu Top. Hey, Barbara, another inspiration
dance just for you. I haven't given myself one.
Actually, I'll tell you what.
Since everyone was able to successfully hide and get down here and evade the cops,
everyone, you can go and actually get an inspiration die.
And you can all take a short rest as well.
So I had an extra inspiration die there.
We're out of combat then.
Yes.
That was a tough fight.
I'm fully at full health, so I don't really think I'll take it. The alchemist says,
Speaking of Zuzu Top, perhaps that's the place we should begin our investigation.
He was on stage with us after all.
That is true.
By any chance, did you collect any evidence from this scene of the crime? Perhaps, you know, like DNA sampling, blood, maybe her blood in a bag or sippy cup.
I'm afraid not.
You don't happen to know anything about
Zuzu, do you? Because I don't
know much about them. I know nothing about
Zuzu. You're not there either.
Can you guys please keep track of where
you're standing?
That's Barney talking to himself.
I don't know where Zuzu Top is.
Oh yeah, Chip, yeah.
No, you know, I haven't spent much time in the city,
so I've never actually heard of Zuzu Top.
At this point, Quill also chimes in.
I mean, I don't know Zuzu personally,
but I might know some folks who do.
But I don't know how I feel about squealing on another Abralion
to some Ordies like you guys.
Zuzu's Abralion?
Yes.
Okay.
Do you want to try to do anything to persuade Quill to help you out?
Would I be doing this or would the Alchemist be trying to do that?
I'm asking if you want to try.
Yeah, I'll try.
Yeah.
I guess, could I do an insight check to see if he's telling the truth and maybe he knows more about Zuzu than...
Well, he's saying he does know more.
He just doesn't want to talk.
Right.
He doesn't want to squeal to you Ordis.
Well, you know, you can trust us and like you wanted to help us in the first place, get us down here, which means you must like us to some degree.
So maybe if you tell us, you know, we could all work together.
That's true.
But just to sweeten the deal, you don't know
any gossip, do you?
Anything juicy you could share
with me? Juicy?
Juicy blood.
So hungry.
Well, you know, the other
day when we were in the jail
cell and I overheard two people
talking, it sounded like someone
said something bad about someone's mother.
Oh.
Yes.
I don't know what they were saying.
I was like leaning in like, what you here for?
Yeah, don't you remember?
I'm not there.
You're on your own member.
Don't you remember, Errol God?
Think deep down in your brain, remember?
His tentacles are quivering with excitement.
Just make something up.
Have they not caught up yet?
They went the other way.
No, we're just at the bottom of where the sewer is.
Oh, yeah.
They haven't caught up.
Are you talking about them, the group of the three of them?
Yeah, they're still standing there talking.
The cabin.
We're gossiping.
Right, Quill?
Gossip.
Just a bunch of gossip.
All right, all right.
You got yourself a deal.
I'll help you find Zuzu.
Nice.
I'll tell you what.
He's probably holed up somewhere in Area 15, hiding from the cops like us.
But I should tell you right now.
Most of Braylians aren't just going to flap their yaps to a bunch of orties.
What do we need to do to convince people typically?
Hmm.
Well, everyone's a little different.
Some might need a little bit of gold across their palms. Some might want a little bit of gossip. Some might need a little bit of gold across their palms.
Some might want a little bit of gossip.
Some might take a little bit of muscle.
Seems like gossip is a very popular commodity.
Knowledge is a very important currency.
Don't underestimate it.
Ooh, giant brains.
The alchemist chimes in here and says,
I think it would be best to leave that to the four of you.
I fear for my family's safety,
and they're probably worried for me as well. leave that to the four of you. I fear for my family's safety,
and they're probably worried for me as well.
I need to find a secure way to contact them,
but once I do, I can reach out to some of the contacts.
I can find out about the other clan leaders and see where they are.
Could we have walked over and joined them?
Yeah.
Okay.
No one said they wanted to, so.
Yeah, Barney, you walk up as the alchemist is explaining this.
This will give me time to gather supplies for us.
Once you all finish following any leads, let's reconvene somewhere safe.
Perhaps here in the sewer.
Why did you bring us out of jail?
Because I knew you were falsely accused, as was I.
And we're the only people I can trust to find the real murderers.
I didn't know you could trust us.
We just met.
Do you trust us, knowing that we didn't do you could trust us. We just met. Do you trust us
knowing that we didn't do it because
maybe you had some involvement,
Mr. Alchemist? Oh,
absolutely not.
As I said, Lorenzo and I have been
long friends. You know,
murders and homicides
are often committed by people closest
to the victim. That's why we're
investigating Zuzu. They were closest of all.
Barney looks around and takes a step back.
Elga listens to a lot of true crime podcasts.
Podcasts in this realm are just birds that fly around
and tell people stories.
Quill says, if you don't mind,
if you could actually help me navigate the sewers
to reach Area 15, that would be much appreciated.
Oh, what kind of navigation do you need?
Uh, if someone could please hold my
tentacle. You know, after all, I don't have
eyeballs. I experience the
world via sound, and all the sounds in the
sewer are a little overwhelming to me.
It's very difficult for me to get my bearings down
here. Okay, do you want to get on my head?
I'd love that.
Quildia Brilliant, uh, uses tentacles
to steady himself, and, uh, he, I would say he attaches himself to you, but it's not like he's
Yes, yes, yes resting like a fancy brain hat on Barney's head yeah, what is this brain sucker doing
I don't know. What is this brain sucker doing? He's starving
Come on Chris, that's a hat on a hat what happens next oh yeah um the alchemist says okay so it's settled we'll reconvene here
in the sewer once you have some information and once i have supplies i'll leave you to it before
he goes um could i have some of his blood what What? Like, could I accidentally, like, shake his hand,
but, like, scratch his finger with my nail and be like,
oh, I'm so sorry.
Let me kiss the boo-boo.
Sure, why not?
Here's some rolls.
Yeah, to shake his hand and scratch it.
That's slide a hand, by the way.
That's definitely slide a hand.
I'm using my inspiration.
What did you roll?
What did you roll?
An eight.
Okay.
Nat 20.
Nat 23.
It's a drive.
Yeah, so you extend your hand and the alchemist eagerly, you know, extends his hand as well to shake it.
You give it a little scratch.
Ouch.
I'm so sorry.
Let me kiss it better.
You know, an old family tradition To make it heal faster
Make me a deception check
So much going into you just trying to get a drop of blood
Fifteen
Oh he says oh I don't want to be rude
And then I suck the blood out of his finger
How much are you talking?
How many ounces?
Just like a little bit
Does that hurt him?
No
This is weird
Are you okay? Does that give you life it's
just i have something called uh vampiric vitality which is advantage against necrotic damage immune
to disease but i require blood each day okay so you knock this you're knocking this out of the
i'm just making sure i'm gonna live for place. Nice. So you're good for 24 hours then. That means that, like,
however long this campaign takes,
at some point one of us is going to have to just be like,
well, I'm a ghost, so... Party, you and me are in blood duty.
Okay, yeah, you're able to lap up a little bit of blood.
I've got diabetes.
Okay, that's a very wet kiss.
Thank you, Elka.
Sorry.
Oh, oh, oh.
Chip runs up and he says, oh, it looks like you got a cut there, bud.
And I want to pull out some like antiseptic wipes and a band-aid that I have in my fanny pack.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
And you clean up the wound, make a medicine check.
That is not necessary.
I already kissed it.
Oh, no, no, no.
We're in a sewer.
He could get an infection real bad.
That is a five.
Oh, no.
Come on.
Got a little poop in there.
Yeah, you try to clean up the wound, but maybe it's the dirty environment.
There's some moss ends up under there.
The bandage doesn't quite stick on very well.
Were you prepared for the alchemist to get
sepsis this early on? The alchemist
says, I can handle it. Thank you.
I am an alchemist.
Okay. All right. Anyway,
we'll reconvene here.
So go away.
Join Mateet.
Barney, Chip, and Elga, all three
of you make me a perception check.
Six. Twenty-two. Eleven. Chip and Barney, Chip, and Elga, all three of you make me a perception check. Six. 22.
11.
Chip and Barney, each of you notices small crumbs on the ground, some kind of food.
Elga, your perception's a little sharper,
and you can tell that it's small crumbs of cheese that heads down and then to the east,
kind of out by where Mateed is.
Barney, put that down.
So the cheese goes towards where Mateed is
at the bridge? Correct.
And past seemingly through the door and everything.
Does it matter what type of cheese?
It's Munster. Thank you for asking.
Of course it's Munster.
Of course it's Munster.
Munster!
It does not appear to be very fresh.
This is unbelievable.
You guys gonna join me?
You cheddar believe it. There it is.
Here we go.
Okay, yeah, so you all head down south, cross the planks, and are at the closed wooden door where Matide is.
I don't know if Matide, if you have shared what you noticed on the other side of the door.
Bonjour.
Is there only thing I can see in the other side of the door? Is a pipe and nothing else.
I've got a new hat.
You do have a new hat.
It's Treble.
Treble?
Yes.
Not would you?
I think his name is Zuzu Top.
No, that is a different.
What's your name again?
No, it's not.
Zuzu is the cousin.
Quill.
Quill.
Quill.
Yeah, you all are looking for Zuzu.
Does the cheese seem to go under the door through the...
Yes.
There seems to be a dairy product on the floor leading into this room.
Did you happen to see any mice or any other creature?
Unfortunately, I did not.
Well, luckily, I'm not afraid of anything, so let's just open it.
Okay, you gonna go for it?
Yeah.
Elga tries to open the door.
You open the door, and it appears as Matide described it,
with a large pipe that appears to be dripping up on the northern end of the room.
Is it, like, pitch black in here?
Yes, it is very dark.
Can you see in the dark?
Yeah, we all have dark vision.
I'm just curious if there's any source of light.
Do we all do?
All four of us have dark vision?
I do.
Team dark vision, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, Elga goes in.
Elga steps into the room
and must make me
a dexterity saving throw.
Uh-oh.
Oh, saving throw.
Jesus, attacking.
Oof.
Seven.
It seems like a strange coincidence,
but as soon as you step into the room,
the pipe on the northern wall bursts open,
releasing a spray of sewage,
covering you and hitting you with high-pressure sewage,
pinning you up against the wall.
Oh, dang.
So freaking gross.
Ken Barney.
Elga, you take one point of damage.
One point of what damage?
What type of damage?
Sewage damage.
Oh, bludgeoning.
Bludgeoning.
Poop damage. Po of damage. One point of what damage? What type of damage? Sewage damage. Oh, bludgeoning. Bludgeoning. Poop damage.
Poop damage.
So it's just like, it's just still pinning you up against the wall.
Don't open your mouth.
Oh, no.
Oh, it's so nasty.
Can Barney cast Minding?
She's still being pinned against the wall by the water, and you're casting Healing Spell.
No, Minding.
On the pipe.
Oh, okay.
I thought you were like healing
but you're still just being bludgeoned by sewage.
The spell repairs a single break or tear in an object you touch.
It says you're a broken chain link,
you have a broken key, torn cloak,
leaking wineskin,
lungs that break is no larger than one foot in any dimension.
It's eight inches.
Leaving no trace of the form.
Yes.
You have to walk into the room to do that.
It says you have to touch it.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll go up to it.
Okay.
Yeah, Barney, as he would say, Barney wobbles into the room.
Wobble, baby, wobble, baby.
Goes up to the pipe and-
Take your time though, Barn.
No rush.
Conjures some arcane energies and mends the pipe puts it
back together back in my younger days i sometimes did some plumbing wow barry that's a heck of a
story pal i do love this idea that barney just has like the most boring mundane stories from
his earlier years just so enthralled by it.
Elga and Barney, both of you make me a perception check.
12.
17.
Elga, now that you've cleaned some of the sewage out of your eyes,
you see a rusty valve in the southeastern corner of the room.
Does that seem to be connected to the pipe?
You can't tell.
It's just on the wall, so you don't
know what's behind the wall or what it's connected to.
Could I go over to it?
Yeah, it's just a very rusted up
valve. Is it the only valve
in the room? Yes. I know you just
fixed this pipe, but what if
I turn this valve?
Neato. Do it.
Elgid turns
it. Righty tighty or lefty loosey?
Oh, lefty loosey.
You try to turn it left, but it doesn't seem to be able to turn.
Like, it's already turned all the way to the left.
There is no more...
Open all the way.
I guess it's righty tighty, it is.
Turns it to the right.
Yeah, you turn it to the right.
Nothing seems to happen, but it does go all the way to the right. And I forgot to mention, there is also another door in this room as well. Oh, where's the right? Yeah, you turn it to the right. Nothing seems to happen, but it does go all the way to the right.
And I forgot to mention, there is also another door in this room as well.
Oh, where's the door?
The northeast corner, kind of opposite from where the door you entered from was.
Okay.
So yeah, you were able to turn it all the way to the right.
You can't discern anything that happens, but it does turn all the way to the right.
Hey, Quill needed an exit.
Could he fit in that pipe there?
The cuckoo pipe?
Well, it's been mended.
Okay.
And I don't know that would help him necessarily.
This is a pipe that's shooting out.
Yeah, we're trying to get him out of here.
You're trying to get out of here?
That's not how pipes work.
We want to keep him with us, though.
Well, we shut the valve off so maybe the poo-poo flow stops.
I'm going to go in this door.
Yeah, you walk up to the door.
It's just a plain wooden door.
It appears to be unlocked.
Knock, knock.
Do you knock on it?
No, I say that.
Oh.
Listen.
There isn't.
Make a perception check.
So you say knock, knock.
You don't knock.
But you intend to listen as if you had knocked?
Yeah.
He puts his ear up and just goes, knock, knock.
Knock, knock.
You're a murderer.
A serial killer.
A 12?
Yeah.
12.
You don't hear anything.
No one's home.
And I open the door. No one's home. And I open the door.
No one's home and I open the door.
A wave of sewage.
You open the door and you see a long room with a hunk of cheese sitting in the center.
To the east is a dark corridor with a wooden slatted floor.
To the north is a 10-foot drop into the other half of the room.
And there's a pile of plank wood, a stairwell, a sewer drain, and a ladder.
She's at the end of the room.
Or in the center.
In the center.
And how far down is the dark corridor?
The dark corridor is to the east.
It's on the other side of the room,
probably 20 feet away, 15, 20 feet away.
What's in that dark corner?
I have 300 feet of dark vision.
You see a wooden slatted floor, and it
kind of goes for a bit and then curves to the
left. You really can't see beyond that.
And half the room, there's a drop-off?
Yeah, then to the northern half, it drops off
about 10 feet to the other
half of the room, and there's just a pile of planked wood,
a stairwell, sewer drain, and a ladder over there.
Not gonna lie, no clue
what this room looks like.
Cheese looks yummy. You know what, Bunny bunny you should go get the cheese. Okay, I had a hungry feller
I'm gonna get some cheese. You want to grab it? I mean
Is this anyone's cheese do you mind if I have some yeah cut the cheese Barry?
Oh, so you're calling out in general not just to like your party. Yeah, just calling out. Yeah, there's no response. I'll go join Barney.
Can I cut some cheese?
Yeah, you get closer to the cheese
and pick it up, and it's pretty
moldy and hard.
Can I cut off the top layer
and try and get to the soft? Yeah, you can
absolutely do that. You have, like, a dagger
or a knife or something I see me cut off, like, the yucky
part with? Yeah, I assume I have something.
Here, let me get this for you, Barney.
And Elga comes over with her great axe and cuts it in half.
Okay, yeah.
You know, the mold seems to be largely on the outside.
Make me an investigation check since you're picking up this cheese
and looking at it, Barney.
Eleven?
Okay, yeah.
I mean, the inside doesn't look moldy like the outside does.
You going to eat that sewer cheese?
Yeah. Yeah? You sure about that? Yeah. You going to eat that sewer cheese? Yeah.
Yeah?
You sure about that?
Yeah.
You want to take a bite out of it?
Yeah.
Okay, yeah.
I'll cut some off and I'll, you know, a big chunk to keep some for myself.
So you don't bite it.
You cut off a piece.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or I guess I get, with the help of the axe.
You take like out the fresh cheesy core.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, yeah.
You take a bite out of it.
Make me a constitution saving throw.
17.
Okay.
It does not taste great, but you think you can keep it down.
It's cheese!
Is it?
Does he know if it's just like regular old cheese?
Seems like Munster.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
Nothing extraordinary about it, I should say.
I don't think I've done like a perception check for this room.
Can I look around a little bit from the doorway?
That sounds like a good idea.
Yes, go ahead.
Please, Mateed, save me from the puns.
Only 12.
Yeah, you don't really notice anything else.
Just this room, the...
How did I describe it?
What do you mean by there's a drop-off?
Like, is it, like, it goes down to a lower floor?
Correct.
It's, like, 10 feet down, and that's to the north.
But you said there's a ladder nearby, right?
Correct.
Okay.
Can Mateet go get the ladder and put it...
Actually, I don't need to.
I'm going to jump.
Okay.
Yeah.
You jump down to the lower level?
Yeah.
You know, this is also a long room with a small stairwell
bending around a sewer drain.
On one side is a portcullis, and on the other side is a ladder.
Where you came from, this southern end,
this is just a pile of planked wood stacked up against this 10-foot wall
that leads up to the other half of the room.
There's a portcullis?
Yeah.
Is there a... it's closed?
Correct.
Can I see through it?
It's like portcullises are usually see-through.
Yeah.
You want to go check it out?
Yeah.
Yeah, you go over and look, and the portcullis appears to be unlocked.
It's kind of discolored.
Maybe it's been down here in disrepair for a while.
The heck is a portcullis?
It's those gates in front of castles that are, like, spiky
and, like, that see-through gate that kind of, like,
covers the entrance.
A mesh, like, wood gate.
I have to look it up.
Behind, like, a drawbridge.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It doesn't appear to be, like like a very big space behind there.
Maybe just a, like a small closet perhaps.
Hello?
Is anybody in there?
Make a perception check.
19.
You get no reply, but you hear like, you hear scurrying noises coming from the other side
of the portcullis.
All right, let's put two and two together.
Is there a device to open the portcullis anywhere near me?
Yeah, you're able to open it up.
Yeah, I open it up.
Hey, Mateen, nacho best idea.
You're not seeing this.
It's a cheetah.
I'm down in a hole.
Yeah, you open up the portcullis,
and like a swarm of rats come out from the portcullis
and begin running all over you, all over your body.
Okay.
Could I try an action of flying back up?
He went down, released the rats.
Yes.
You can absolutely fly back up.
Okay.
You take to the air and fly back up to the upper level?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You fly back up to the upper level? Yeah. Yeah. You fly back up to the upper level.
To everyone else's horror, Matit rises from the lower level,
flying covered in rats.
Is there any sort of action I can do to try to spin and get them off me?
Yeah, make a, let's just call it a dexterity check just to try to.
Slinging them against the wall.
15?
Yeah.
Almost all of the rats fall off of you onto the ground below
and make a beeline for Barney.
And the cheese that he's holding,
they begin crawling all over you,
snatching the cheese out of your hand,
eating it,
and going through all of the folds of your clothing
looking for any other food that you may have on you.
Can I push the big block of cheese away?
Yeah, you can toss it, I guess.
It was still in your hands, right?
Yeah, yeah, but also the one I cut.
Yeah.
Yeah, I gave him the cheese.
I gave him the cheese.
So Matide, down in the hole, there was the gate that they opened.
Yes.
And all the rats came out.
Yeah.
What else was down there?
So there was like a stairwell that bends around a sewer drain, and at the right side
was this portcullis that
matied open and then to the left side of the sewer drain was a ladder that went back up so yeah it's
kind of like the sewer drains in the center of the northern part of the room then to the right of it
was the portcullis and then to the left of the sewer drain is the ladder a sewer drain what size
it is pretty big size you don't think a person could fit through it, but it is very, very large, very sizable.
Okay.
To, I guess, give closure to Barney,
when you throw the cheese,
all the rats jump off of you
and begin following the cheese,
eating at it voraciously.
I was going to say,
maybe what we should do
is bring the cheese down the hole,
throw it on the other side of the room for the rats,
and then go the opposite way.
Well, the rats are just distracted right now.
Yeah, they're no longer interested in Barney.
They're on the cheese. But it's only a few rats that you brought up with you, right? Yeah, are there more rats distracted right now. Yeah, they're no longer interested in Barney. They're on the cheese.
But it's only a few rats that you brought up with you, right?
Yeah, are there more rats still down below? Yeah, there's still some down there.
Okay. Yeah.
Mateev hears what
Elga is putting down
and since you split the cheese,
can I
throw the cheese on the
opposite side of the room from the portcullis?
When you say, just so I'm clarified, the pork cullis is in the northeast corner.
Do you mean like the west corner or the south corner?
To the west is where the ladder is.
But then down to the south is where the plank is.
Is the ladder just a ladder sitting against the wall?
Yeah, and it goes up to another level.
It goes up somewhere.
Okay, then yeah, I want to throw it towards the pork cullis.
Okay, yeah, you toss the cheese back to the pork cullis
and the rats all, you know, scurry towards it and begin eating it.
We're not in any sort of initiative, right?
No.
Okay, I'm going to go for the ladder.
That was terrifying.
Yeah, so...
You handled yourself very well.
Why did you summon rats?
Chip, Haney, you hop down to the lower level
and then walk off to what would be the left side
and go up to the ladder.
It's just a ladder that's resting up against the wall leading to a tunnel up to the north.
Yep, we're going to climb the ladder.
Okay.
But as I pass the rats, I say, which one of you is his master splinter?
Got it.
The ninja turtles.
No?
Okay.
Chip has climbed the ladder up to the north and it's uh um on a tunnel up there i follow
um i also follow okay follow as well okay are you gonna get up a ladder with your walk i can do it
okay um yeah it's like a like a captain america thing where he just attached it to his back
his back oh it's like a folding thing that sometimes will just like kind of compress down
into a smaller thing and you can just kind of like...
Yeah, yeah.
They do fold.
That also makes puppeting easier if we need to.
All right, you all climb the ladder up to a tunnel at the northern end of the room and the tunnel runs either to the west or to the east.
It's pretty narrow.
It's only about 10 feet wide.
to the west or to the east. It's pretty narrow.
It's only about 10 feet wide.
Can I hear or perceive if there's like
more outdoorsy sounds versus more like
drippy undergroundy sounds?
Maybe we should use our friend Quill here
who uses his sense of hearing very well.
Ah, who's Quill?
He's on your head.
Oh!
Quill says, I wish I could help.
There's just way too much sound for me to be able to discern very specifically.
Very difficult.
I'm going to scout to the west.
Okay.
I'll scout to the east.
Okay.
Since Chip said it first, I'll deal with him first.
If you head out to the west, the passage kind of forks.
There's a passage to the south, a passage to the north, and it continues to the west as well.
Oh, so a total four-way split.
More forks over here!
To the east,
Barney, the tunnel goes for quite
a ways, and then eventually dead-ends
either heading north or south.
Wait, it doesn't dead-end.
Well, it forks. There are no
forks over here!
But there is a tunnel left and
right. Oh, alright.
And so Chip's in the middle of that four-way,
and Barney's at the T spot.
Correct.
Okay.
Mateed follows Barney.
Oh.
Okay, so Barney to the east.
And Elga follows Chip.
To the west.
Okay.
We'll deal with Chip and Elga first,
because Chip said he was going to the west first.
Elga, you catch up to Chip,
and there is a four-way intersection. It's is a, it's like a four-way,
it's not quite right, but essentially a four-way intersection.
There's a path to the north, a path to the south, and a path to the west.
Well, should we just take this one by one?
Yeah.
Let's, I guess, yeah, let's start with the west?
Yeah, let's keep going west.
You head west, and the tunnel proceeds only a little further,
and you come across a dead end, and there's a small alcove with a locked, damp chest.
Right above the chest is a small metal pipe dripping with water.
Got thieves tools.
I could also just smash it.
Yeah, what the heck.
Go for it.
Could I try smashing the lock off with my great axe?
Yeah.
Make an attack roll.
Better not be one of them there mimics.
Nat 20, 26.
Ooh, really?
Wow.
Good hit.
Do you want me to roll damage?
Yes.
Okay, 22.
Okay, so it didn't do it the way I would normally do it.
So what we're going to do,
so we would take the 10 from there.
Then for the second die, it gave you an eight.
We're actually going to give you a 12 since you rolled a critical.
Okay.
So we'll do 22 plus four.
It's actually 26 points of damage.
Big damage.
That you bring down onto the lock on the chest.
Oh, wee.
There's nothing fragile in there.
Yeah.
Which splits open.
The lock just like falls off.
Open her up.
Okay, you go ahead.
You open up the chest.
And inside is just a bunch of loot.
There's a bunch of coins. There's a bunch of coins, there's a
chalice,
and a potion. Oh, you and me are splitting this
50-50? Oh yeah, we split the coins
50-50 and then... Yeah, there are a lot
of coins. Let me do some quick math
here. You guys are going to run back down the hallway
sounding like change, just
clattering. We found nothing at all!
We'll find a thing!
Do you remember early in the episode when we talked about truth?
Completely unrelated to this moment.
So each of you gets 1,050 copper pieces.
Copper.
Oh.
750 silver pieces each.
Oh, it keeps going.
Oh, wow.
And 30 gold pieces each.
We're going to find something great, Barney, okay?
Yeah.
And in addition to that, there's a copper chalice that has some silver filigree on it.
And a potion.
Do we know what the potion is?
Why don't you both roll an arcana check?
Let's see if maybe you do know something about this potion.
Okay.
Ooh, I got plus three to arcana.
Still a 10.
I have a 12 on that.
Rolling like the sewers today.
You think it's perhaps a potion of climbing.
Climbing.
Ooh.
I think Chip, you want this potion and then take the chalice?
That sounds like a heck of a deal.
All right.
Is there any particular thing I should put in my inventory,
just like a regular chalice?
Just right.
Copper chalice.
Metagame-wise, if you want to put this in parentheses or anything, Barbara,
it's worth about 25 gold pieces.
Okay. And anything else special about it that I should note down?
Nah.
Is that the end of our thing, or can we continue?
Yeah, we'll wrap up with you guys there, and we'll jump over to Matide and Barney.
with you guys there and we'll jump over to uh matide and barney uh you're at the eastern end of this tunnel and there's a passage to the north and a passage to the south do i see anything down
either of them uh if you look to the north it also tees going left and right if you look to the south
it kind of bends to the left or the south. Yeah, that sounds good to me. It bends.
That's kind of creepy.
Mateed puts their
wing on Barney's
back. He goes, I like you.
I like you too. You remind me
of birds.
You remind me of birds?
I like birds.
I am so glad to hear that.
They're just a giant bird.
Yeah, do we see anything down here?
So you walk to the south a little bit,
and as you begin walking to the south,
to your right, there's like a gap in the wall,
and you see like wooden planks creating a platform that head out in that direction.
And then continuing south, the path,
there are some stairs leading up that curve to the left.
Okay.
Looking to the right, you said there was like planks?
Yeah.
I didn't quite get that description.
Yeah.
It's like some planks that are making kind of like a walkway.
It's very reminiscent of the planks you saw earlier in the cheese room.
Yeah.
And can we see what's at the end of the walkway?
It kind of goes out and then curves to the left.
So it's hard to see.
I feel like someone's been here before.
We are just going through a labyrinth at this point
Yeah
Y'all are doing good
There are 17 directions to go in
Which way should we go?
Well, let's follow the curve
Up the stairs?
No, no, I meant the
The stairs do also curve, I thought you meant the stairs too
Okay, up the stairs we go
Y'all continue proceeding to the south and there is a curve, a bend in the path and you go meant the stairs too. Oh, okay. Up the stairs we go. Y'all continue proceeding to the south.
And there is a curve, a bend in the path.
And you go up the stairs around to the left.
And eventually it straightens out and goes into a long, straight passage that has a door to the right.
A long, straight passage with a door to the right?
It's a crooked door stained with water spots
and it seems like it's barely hanging on to its hinges do we have action and left in us to maybe
it's it's barely hanging on so is there like a hole it's like on the hinges it's like falling
off the hinges basically okay that's what i'm saying is it like is there a gap because of that
often if a door is not i see what you're saying i thought you meant like a hole in the door if
the door is not fully flush it usually leaves a you're saying. I thought you meant like a hole in the door. No, no, no. If a door is not fully flush,
it usually leaves a gap.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Okay, can I look in the gap?
Yeah.
Beyond that door,
you see a spiral staircase
of dank stone steps
that seem to be going up.
I think we found a way out.
Okay.
Perhaps we should find
our other compatriots
to come join us.
Okay.
Here's the plan.
You stay here and I will go get them.
Okay.
I'm just going to wander off.
Since you're going,
normally at this point,
I would switch back to Chip and Elga,
but since you're going back to find them,
I'm going to continue with you here, Mateed.
How do you want to go back and find them?
Wait, can I give you my rope?
To do what?
So we don't get separated.
How long's your rope?
Because I think we've walked pretty far quite a distance
You know what actually I've changed my I've changed my response Matiqos. I would gladly take your rope
I just realized I don't have a rope
Wait do I have one maybe I do hold on
I want to give you a rope stick out your finger and have them take that instead
I don't forgetful characters an easy way to cover up the fact. You don't know anything about your character. I want to give you a rope. Stick out your finger and have him take that instead. Playing a forgetful character is an easy way to cover up the fact you don't know anything about your character.
I don't have one either.
I don't have one either.
Maybe you just use the fabric of your imagination.
I'll be thinking of you.
Okay.
That sounds wonderful.
Mateed walks down and...
Back the way you came from?
Yeah, but instead of going straight back to Chip and Elga, that passageway that we passed before we went up the stairs,
the plank one, I want to check that out.
You peek in there, and there seems to be a precariously constructed bridge
made of wood slats overlooking a deep, dark, moist crevice.
Maybe it's like an unfinished part of the sewer or something.
Is there something at the end of the bridge?
Make a perception check.
A nine?
You know what?
I actually want to see.
So I'm actually going to inspiration dice this.
Ooh.
That's a 15.
Oh, okay.
About halfway down the bridge, you see a cat and you hear it mewing.
Meow.
Little cat?
Meow.
Yeah.
Meow.
One more?
Meow.
Okay.
Wait, maybe it's Japanese.
Meow.
Meow.
Yeah. Yeah.
Can I check the bridge?
How rickety is this bridge?
It's very rickety.
Okay.
I fly.
Oh.
So you fly, what, to the cat?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
You take flight and lightly sit yourself down by the cat.
It seems to be trying to get away from you, but it seems like it can't get away.
Its paw is stuck in one of the slats.
No!
It doesn't seem to trust you.
It's doing its best to try to get away
and create distance between you, but it's just stuck.
Oh, use your attack.
That's a bonus action.
Yeah, Matide tries to do their best to calm the animal
and gently wrestle them from their...
Why don't we call that animal handling to try to calm the cat?
Yeah, let's do that.
Surely you have advantage on this.
Why would Matide have advantage on this?
Don't need it, 21.
Oh, yeah, the cat seems to calm down
and not be trying to get away as much
and allows you to get close to it.
Okay.
Its paw, its right front paw is just stuck in one of the planks.
Now, hold on.
We're at the end of a bridge.
Oh, you're in the middle.
This is in the middle.
Oh, this is in the middle of the bridge.
Cat stuck in the bridge.
Yes.
Oh, okay.
Meow.
Meow.
I take the cat from it, and I suppose I probably have some...
Can we say I kept a muffin from my bakery?
Sure, why not?
In my pack.
I don't eat, but I kept, you know, I like to keep my wares with me.
People like it.
And I give the cat a little bit of a muffin.
Yeah, we'll say it nibbles at it.
Okay.
And we shall name you Muffin.
Make a dexterity check for me.
This is worrisome.
What color cat?
Gray.
Oh.
First case of all the hour.
I shouldn't have used my inspiration dice.
I shouldn't have used it.
I just rolled a one.
Oh, no.
I shouldn't have used it.
The cat leaps out of your hands and runs down the bridge further to the south.
Not the direction you came from, but down to the south,
and then turns a bend in the bridge to the west.
Heading towards us?
No, we're far
from you should i i i'm now feeling john feeling bad that i'm taking the story into my hands i like
i like what we're doing it's important but this should be our party's new mission is fighting this
damn time i follow the cat because that's what i met but can i i don't i'm not rushing after the
cat is what i want to make there is i'm i'm following it. Because I'm still in a very dark and mysterious place.
Before Mateed pursues after the cat,
can I do just one more quick check around the room?
Another like, because this is bizarre.
Yeah, this just seems like perhaps this area was under construction
for like sewer expansion.
And so it's at the end of a bridge now.
And with a bend.
Yes, the center, it kind of makes like an S from where you were,
comes down, has a couple of bends in it,
and then exits out to the southwest from where you initially entered.
Okay, I follow the cat.
Yeah, you follow the cat, and you come back into the cheese room,
and the cat is pouncing on a rat, killing it.
Oh, I love it.
I'm delighted by this.
This is fantastic.
The rats are scurrying away in fear as the cat is showing its hunting prowess.
Mateed loves this.
This is fantastic.
Loving to see this kind of action.
And approaches the cat again with some more muffin.
Okay, the cat doesn't run away from you.
It knows who you are.
It knows that you're friendly.
It does not seem interested in the muffin.
It doesn't run away, but it's got a rat, you you know hanging lifeless in its mouth can i check for like a
collar yes uh actually it does have a very visible collar so i'm not making you make a perception
check it stands out quite clearly it uh it appears to be a leather collar around its neck
is there a tag make a perception check for that that. Just because you gotta like dig around in the fur and stuff.
Dracula. That's an
11. Yeah, there's a tag.
I presume you want to read it? Yeah, what
is it? There's no name on it.
It just says, I know what I'm doing.
Very
interesting. Cool name.
Albanian.
No spaces. I know what I'm doing.
I can't let this cat just go.
I'm so curious about this kitty.
You know what they say about what kills the cat?
You know what?
The lion.
Curiosity.
I...
Are there...
There's a whole thing going on here.
Are there still rats anywhere?
Yeah, there are still a few,
but they seem to be running away in a panic.
Can I use my talons to swipe at a rat?
Yeah, why not?
That's like an attack for you, right?
Yeah.
Just make an attack roll.
Which actually, I have a talons attack.
That's an eight.
Yeah, you miss.
I miss.
Yeah.
You know what?
I think I have like a bonus action for another attack if I'm making an attack.
Go for it.
Okay, then I'm going to do that.
That one's better.
That one's a 21.
Nice.
You connect and the rat falls lifeless.
I look to see what the kitty thinks of that.
The cat is purring.
Okay.
Can I motion for the kitty to come in my hands?
Sure.
Why not?
Wait, your talons or your wings?
Wings.
My hands.
Hands.
I have hands.
Since you have such a high animal handling check earlier, I'll say you don't have to
do that again.
Okay.
It walks up.
Can I try and gently put it in my little pack?
Can I put it in my little apron pocket? You do have to make another animal to do that again. Okay. It, like, walks up. Can I try and gently put it in my little pack? Can I put it in my little apron pocket?
You do have to make another animal handling check for that.
Okay.
You can do it.
There's so much riding on this animal.
You can't.
13.
That's a good roll.
Yeah, you try to put it in, but the cat doesn't really want to go in the apron.
It's very focused on rats at the moment.
It knows what it's doing.
It knows what it's doing yeah can i put
it on my shoulder kitties like shoulders could you do like shoulders uh yeah it perches on your
shoulder okay man i don't know what to do now but he's gonna adopt this cat whether he likes it or
not sure is taking him a long time if i start walking does the cat stay on my shoulder? Yeah, it stays on your shoulder.
Okay, I like this.
I go to them, to Elga and Chip.
And we're just doing one for you.
So I follow back, cross the bridge, back through the bend,
and head west to them at their little three-way junction.
Okay, yeah, you come back up there,
and Elga and Chip Haney are coming from the west.
Presumably they've scouted out that area
and you meet them at that four-way intersection.
I have good news.
One, I have a little friend.
And two, I think we have found a way out of here.
What's your name, little feller?
I said it to the cat.
Mat-heed, Mat-oh.
Make an animal handling check.
Thank you, Elga.
Oh, okay.
Hey, 17.
You can tell that it's purring.
It's got a rat in its mouth, and it seems very content at the moment.
Ah, rat mouth.
That's what I'll call you.
If you want to follow me, I will show you where we found a doorway that seems to be possibly outside.
We have two other areas we could explore, but I don't really want to test our luck.
What do you think, Elga?
Oh, what did you find in your exploration?
That is so disappointing we were playing patty cake, yes, I don't understand why you were doing that in this situation boredom
Because of the lack of anything. That's a deception.
I want to check on that.
That sucks.
Make an insight check, then.
Okay.
And make a deception check for me, Chip.
13.
Okay.
Yeah, they were playing patty cake.
Well, we see some people get bored when they are in interesting situations.
Ooh la la.
I see no problem here.
Would you like to follow me?
Okay.
Yes.
I mean, if you found a way out, that is what we are trying to find.
So let's go.
Yeah, we can take some more kittens.
We're right on your tail.
It's a nice pun.
I like when he says it in character.
You have to respond in character.
Yeah, let's go join Barney and see what Barney's been doing this whole time.
Hopefully Barney's still alive.
Hopefully he remembers you. My name's Barney and see what Barney's been doing this whole time. Hopefully Barney's still alive. Hopefully he remembers you.
My name's Barney.
Actually, you've been alone. Quill's with you.
Oh, right. Yeah, Quill is with him.
Huh?
What are you even talking?
He's just been going, oh!
There's voices in this tunnel.
You all head to the east where the tunnel
dead ends and head to the south to the
stairs that take that bend to the left.
Head back up to the north and find Barney sitting outside of the crooked door.
Barney, we found treasure.
This cat.
The cat is a real treasure.
That's right.
I didn't find a thing.
Oh, that makes three of us.
Yeah.
So describe what I saw through the door again.
Beyond the door, there's a spiral staircase with dank stone steps that seem to be leading upwards.
This door's a little rickety.
I'll fix it.
No, no, maybe don't fix it so we could actually go through.
Well, like, could I open it and then, like, mend the hinge while I open it?
With what?
Why would you need to?
No, no, I'm curious with what. Mending.
Oh, you're going to cast spell again. He's an old man.
He likes to listen to things.
I mean, if you want.
So you open the door and use
mending to fix the hinges so that it
Okay, yeah. He feels purpose for mending.
Absolutely. He wants to help. Yeah, you open it up
and the door, now it closes flush.
It actually works. And now it's locked
forever.
You all die of starvation.
That's where you get that catch.
Look here. Now it doesn't squeak.
That's great.
Well, he's like
trying to be like a father figure.
He wants your approval.
Bernie, that's a heck of a job.
There he is. I got a squeaky door in my
bathroom back at the old homestead.
I might have you take a look at that.
I would be happy to.
Oh, sounds great.
Sounds great, Bart.
Mateed opens the door.
Okay.
Yeah, you open it up, and just like you saw before, those dank stone steps, there it is.
The spiral staircase that leads up.
I politely motion for the party to go ahead.
As I pass, Matilde, I give the cat a little couple of scritches.
Yeah, it doesn't pay you much mind.
It's focused on its rat.
That's okay.
Barney, he heads up, but, you know, stops to admire his work on the way out.
So it's Chip, Barney, and then who's third?
Elga.
Elga, and then I guess Matilde.
I'll bring up the rear.
Yeah, so you all take the stone steps.
There's water, so it kind of splatters with every step up.
You finally reach the top and find a corroded ladder leading up to a sewer cover.
Ah, this should be Area 15 directly above here.
Oh, how fortunate is this?
It's unfortunate.
So many different directions to go and we found it.
Look at us.
Way to go, team.
And nothing else. Oh, God.
I've forgotten what Area 15 was supposed to be about.
Where Zuzu was being kept.
Or hiding out, I guess. The Abrelians,
I guess. Are they from there? Area 15
is home almost exclusively
to Abrelians.
But like I said, be careful.
They are very weary of ordies
like yourselves. What's an ordy?
Ordies? Ordinaries. like yourselves. What's an ordee? Ordees?
Ordinaries, like yourselves.
Humanoids.
Oh.
Well, why don't I go first?
Because this little fella's on my head. Well, actually, I have business here to attend to in Area 15.
So now that you brought me here, I'll be on my way.
What's the, how are we entering into Area 15?
Well, you all are still at the bottom, but there's a ladder and a sewer cover up at the top.
Okay, yeah, we're coming up through floor.
I mean, Quill, could we come out and visit, or are they going to shoo us away?
Oh, you can walk around.
Abralians just might not be very friendly.
Well, they don't have to be friendly to us, but we'll be friendly to them, eh, gang?
Huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nothing but friendly.
I'm used to people not being very nice to me and very wary of my friends.
Oh, wait, is that?
I don't, you know, maybe it's because I'm a child and people think that I've lost my mother or something.
That is so sad.
I'm so sad.
Wow.
Hey, the one good thing about being a child is you grow out of it.
Do you have an inspiration, Dianne?
How does that make Elga feel?
Oh, it's just very dead inside.
But great, thank you, Barney.
I can't wait to grow up into a full adulthood.
It's so sad.
It's so sad It's so sad The party
The party is oblivious
I assume to any of like this
Oh my god
Oh man
He's very content with himself
Okay
Well since this is where
We part ways
Yes
Thank you for all your help
Maybe you put in a good word
For the
For us with the brilliance
Right on it
I guess.
Can I check on that deception?
20.
Yeah, you don't think he's going to.
I do nothing about it.
What a nice hat.
Can we go up?
Yeah.
Can we go up?
Yeah.
You lift the sewer cover and your nose is filled with fresh air and the dampness of rain.
It's difficult to say from the rainfall and cloudy skies, but you suspect it's sometime around midday.
And the street around you appears to be mostly vacant due to the rain,
save for a winged stranger slouched on the ground outside a shabby entertainment venue with a sign that reads,
Fly in saucer.
You should probably start there if you want to find Zuzu.
And then he takes off down the street.
Bye-bye. Yeah.
I would just immediately go proceed towards there.
Yeah. Drinks on me, gang.
I just happened to come across a
recent small fortune.
When did you come across that?
A while ago.
Can I check that? At the parade.
You can do an insight
check on that, but you gotta make a deception check. At the parade. You can do an insight check on that, but you got to make a deception check.
24.
14.
Yeah, you can tell he's not being forthright with you.
Mateed notes this.
Okay.
So there is this fly-in saucer.
Okay.
Go in.
You walk in, and it's a pretty gloomy pub
with candlelit picnic tables along the walls
and a bar with an enormous vat of iridescent blue
liquid with chunks floating inside.
The vat reaches to the ceiling
and looks like it climbs up to the next floor.
To the south is the main entrance which you walk through
and to the northeast appears to be another
door and to the northwest is the stairwell
that leads to another door.
And there is a barkeep behind
the bar by the vat.
I approach the barkeep and I say,
Hey, barkeep, can I get four blue drinks?
Ocean water?
Soda pop.
Soda pop.
Yes, please.
Four soda pops.
The barkeep pours four soda pops and hands them out to you.
Four gold.
Four gold.
That's awesome.
Oh, they're expensive.
Can I perceive that this is actually how much those things cost? Make an insight check. about to you. Four gold. Four gold. That's awesome. Oh, they're expensive. Uh, can I
perceive that this is actually how much those things cost?
Make an insight check. I think he sees
we're tourists and he's trying to... Fourteen.
Yeah, it's Georgetown. This happened to me in London once. Yeah, you think
you're getting the, uh, the non-local price.
Okay. How about instead of drinks
we ask for information?
Hey, I'll give you five
if you give us some information
on, uh, a gentleman by the name of Zuzu Top.
You looking for Zuzu?
That's right.
The barkeep sticks out an appendage, almost like requesting the money.
Okay, I give him the five gold.
He says,
All right, tell you what, you've been summoned upstairs.
Oh, all right.
Can we have a refund then on the five gold?
Oh. Alright, uh...
Can we have a refund then on the five gold coins?
Uh, I pass out the drinks and I usher the gang up to the stairs, up to the second floor.
You climb the creaking wooden stairwell up until you reach the second floor,
what appears to be a large attic with the same vat of glowing blue liquid coming through the floor.
Barney, these stairs could use some work. Sorry, go ahead.
A voice calls from the other side of the vat.
You think you can wallow into Area 51
and I wouldn't know?
You peer around the blue vat and find a long
table surrounded by a few Abrelians.
You recognize one at the head of the table.
A slimy green Abrelian with spindly
rubbery lips. Let Lizzie
explain something to you, Ordes.
We Abrelians
look after our own, so you're
never gonna find Zuzu?
But guess you have something in common with him now.
Nobody's going to find you either.
Get him, boys.
The three Abrilians leap out from their chairs and charge after you.
It's an invasion.
Everyone roll initiative. But we're going to have to pick that up next time
on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
20.
I rolled a four.
We'll redo those rolls because I don't want to write them down right now
because I'm going to forget them.
But thanks for listening, everybody.
We'll be back next week with another episode.
Find out what happens.
Is Lizzie going to extract her revenge?
Will Elga persevere?
I don't know.
Stop what you're doing before you exit out of this podcast.
Go check us out at StinkyDragonPod on social media.
For the love of God, please.
This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst,
written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger
with additional editing work by David Saunier.
Here's a quick shout out to folks that interacted with us on social media recently.
Here's some NPCs named after them in this episode.
Chief Inspector Weezer of the Coffs
is named after Commander Carl Weezer567
on Reddit and Discord.
Quill the nosy Abrelian prisoner
named after at Quillock,
aka Quill on Reddit and Discord.
Limber Lizzy the Abrelian
named after at Lizzy Lindlin on Instagram.
Zuzu Top the Abrelian magician
named after at the Animal Overlord on Instagram. And of course, the Abrelian Magician, named after at TheAnimalOverlord
on Instagram. And of course, I want to give a special
thanks to some friends who provided voiceover for characters
in this episode, like Chief Inspector Weezer
of the Coffs, voiced by Micah Reisinger,
at Micah Reisinger. Quill the Nosy
Abrelian Prisoner, voiced by Funhouse's
Ryan Haley, at Ryan Game Show.
The Alchemist, voiced by BlizzBear,
at BlizzBear. Limber Lizzy the Abrelian,
Achievement Hunter's Lindsay Jones, at i am lindsay jones tune in next time for another thrilling episode of tales from
the stinky dragonご視聴ありがとうございました