Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Arrested in Attro City - C02 Ep 03 - Worst Chase Scenario

Episode Date: May 10, 2023

With help from the Alchemist, the party breaks out of jail and figures out a plan to clear their names! Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/Tal...esFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://joinhoney.com/dragon to get PayPal Honey for free. Go to http://rtxaustin.com to buy your badge! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Rooster Teeth Production. into the Stinky Dragon and buy our latest brew, Setbriar to the Rains. It's a mixture of freshly squeezed good berry juice, hoarsely ground moonbolt coffee, one large carrot stick, and a sprinkling of brown sugar cubes. One sip of this strong stallion sauce is enough to clear up any morning fog cloud. Previously, our adventurers turned the clocks back 24 hours into the past and relived when they all first met. T'was the 113th anniversary of the Peace Treaty. They celebrated with festive food, a parade of prominent leaders, and a magic show that ended rather morbidly. Cobble yourself some coffee.
Starting point is 00:00:55 Let's continue on this cocoderous chronicle. Cocoderous? Cocoderous? What is wrong with you? He's talking to Micah right now. Not himself? Not you, the listener, okay? I'll beg it's replaced. No, no, no, that stays in. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
Starting point is 00:01:23 My name is Gustavo Sorolla. I am your Dungeon Master. I'm joined Gustavo Sorolla. I am your dungeon master. I'm joined today by four players. Players, introduce yourselves. What is your name? What is your character's name? What's your class, race, species, all that stuff? I am Chris Damaris, and I'm playing Barney Farney, the male cleric.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Human cleric. There you go. The male cleric. What a weird way of describing him. A boy cleric. The boy window. Blaine Gibson. I play Chip Haney, and he's a tiefling rogue. Why is everyone yelling?
Starting point is 00:01:54 Because we never did this in campaign one. I don't know why this is. Hype all the way up. Hype meter 100. Hype dial. I'm John Reisinger, and I'm realizing that taking notes is really helping me remember what happened the last time we had a episode.
Starting point is 00:02:10 I've started finally taking notes on nine. Are we close to 100 episodes? This is probably like counting the bonus ones. It's probably like 94, 95 somewhere in there. This is episode three. This is episode three and 94. True. For our
Starting point is 00:02:26 new listeners, this is episode 3, but we do have a campaign one. I'm sorry, Barbara, go ahead. I didn't even tell my character. That's what I didn't get to. I play Matisse Conficis, who is a Aarakocra monk. Ghost monk. Yes, a very important part.
Starting point is 00:02:42 I'm Barbara Dunkelman, and I'm playing Elga von Brath breath who is a female half elf vampire barbarian probably other things too secretly secretly very small i i realized also listening um like these are obviously very different characters we're playing different classes and different races and stuff like that than the first campaign but they're all similar in a sense. Like there are some things that carry over. Like at some points, Chris did sound a little bit like old Gum Gum.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Yeah. I'm playing like the tiniest character of the bunch again. Yeah. I mean, I guess we all kind of have our own little flavors that we can't get away from. We're all real people. Like playing characters. In veil over who we really are. Start the show, guys. Well, to get the show started, we like to have a little warm up.
Starting point is 00:03:34 So I think we, you know, normally we roll a D100 to pick that question. I think in the first episode, Barbara rolled it. And I think Blaine rolled it last time. Chris or John, why don't you call it and roll the D100? I rolled a one.
Starting point is 00:03:46 You rolled a one. Out of a hundred. Yeah. Wow. This is not going to bode well for you guys. All right. So everyone's going to answer this, but Chris, you're going to kick it off. This question is from Micah.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Hello, Micah. Our writer, composer, the DM behind the DM. Biggest fan. What does truth mean to your character? How important is it? Jesus Christ. What does truth mean to my character? That's what you get for rolling a one.
Starting point is 00:04:12 I would say truth matters. I want it in the voice. I am. Go, go, go. I'm not going to ignore that. Go, go, go. I don't even remember. Get back. Get out of that box. I'm looking for the truth.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Always. That is definitely Yoda. I just don't remember it. Just like your voice. Yeah. Who's next? I want to someone else answer it. Hey, Jay.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Chipainy here. Long time listener. First time caller. Truth is following your heart, you know? And it's doing what you think is right. And if you're doing something that you think is right, then that's the truth. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:57 Even if that is a bad thing. As long as it's in your heart, it's truth. Live your truth. Speak your truth. Real chaotic neutral energy there. He was saying that to a guy right before he was like slitting his throat he's like that's what truth is to me partner partner john uh the truth i uh it is uh subjective to a certain degree um but i still find it to be quite important and and uh a measure of the value of a person
Starting point is 00:05:26 but he's a flat earther you heard him i mean maybe uh grotesque is flat who knows oh god is it yeah we're not dealing we're not dealing with earth blaine looked around his mic to look at me barblu is mine um you know i don't i don't think there is really importance in truth. I think it's just a matter of what helps you, you know, get by and get ahead in life. And, you know, if you have to be untruthful to people to save yourself, that is okay. Ain't that the truth? The truth is flexible. You can tell which of the four of us is actually a longstanding professional voice actor.
Starting point is 00:06:07 Just straight into her voice while everybody else was stumbling their way through. You guys did great. Way to go, Chris. Random applause for everyone. Let's get that hype meter all the way up. You can't maintain these levels of hype. The gray suited man quickly hobbles over with his cane and falls to his knees next to her. Lorenza, can you hear me?
Starting point is 00:06:29 And shakes her werewolfian body in his hands. Lorenza! Lorenza! Boom! Thunderous skies begin to drizzle overhead. A voice cries out from the crowd. They killed her! They killed the wolfmen! The crowd begins murmuring. Murderers! Murderers! Who? Murderers! What?
Starting point is 00:06:46 Boo! Surely they cannot be talking about us. Are they talking about us? A plump mustachioed man wearing a cough uniform runs on stage armed with a hand crossbow revolver. Nobody move. I'm Chief Inspector Weasel and you're all unnoticed. With these ghastly events now fresh in your mind, we return to the present day. The four of you are standing at the top of the stairs of Wolfham Officer Force Station
Starting point is 00:07:10 with none other than the gray-suited man you now know as the Alchemist. He slowly opens the door, revealing a thunderstorm downpouring outside. Behind you down the hall is the sound of whistles being blown, but they sound like wolves along with footsteps fast approaching. A voice calls out from down the hall. I'm Chief Inspector Weezer. Stop in the name of the law! I'm afraid introductions will have to wait.
Starting point is 00:07:34 Quickly now. We must make a break for it and find Shelton. The gray man hobbles out the door with his cane into the turbulent tempest. Everyone roll initiative. Oh my gosh. Wait, so did we have a long rest between then and now? Because we've been in jail just kind of hanging out. No.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Oh God. 20. Descent. Very good. That's 17. 12. Five. For Elga.
Starting point is 00:07:58 Oh, y'all set them in order. All right. So you all, like I said, you all are at the top of the stairs fleeing this cough station. Before you is the Wolfham alleyways. So it's up to you to decide what you want to do, whether it's try and escape or hide or face the cough constables head to head. And we're going to go around and we're going to find out what you guys think about that. Barney, you're first with a 20. What do you want to do?
Starting point is 00:08:21 So we're in an alleyway and how many guys are around us? at 20. What do you want to do? Wait, so we're in an alleyway, and how many guys are around us? Uh, well, with you right now, currently, it's just the alchemist, but you do hear, uh, Chief Inspector Weezer as well as the sounds of other, uh, constables, uh, running up behind you. Behind us. What's ahead of us in the alleyway?
Starting point is 00:08:36 You're in, like, the northwest corner of the alleyway, and before you, uh, immediately, there's, uh, the alleyway proceeds a little bit, then branches off left and right. Okay, okay, okay. Barney's time to be decisive. First in line.
Starting point is 00:08:52 How far away are the people behind us? You don't know. I don't know. You just hear the sound of them yelling and approaching. Does it sound like they're, like, within 90 feet? It's hard to say, because behind you, if you remember, it's a bit of a corridor. There's some branching doors on either side.
Starting point is 00:09:06 That's where you recovered your stuff from the locker. That's where the interrogation room was. And then it kind of curves around to the side where some cells were. So you can definitely see looking down the hallway is less than 90 feet, but you can't see back around the corner. Just for fun here, Chris, make me a, let's call it a history check. A history. Nothing's more fun than history.
Starting point is 00:09:27 17. 17. Even though Barney has trouble remembering things and his mind can be cloudy at times, there is one thing he does know is true and that he remembers. The use of magic is illegal in Atro City without a permit. Oh. Do we have permits? No.
Starting point is 00:09:42 Okay. Could have put a lot of money on that answer. Just Ashton? That being said, breaking out of jail is also illegal. So take it for what you will. Even here? In a place where there's blobs and ghosts. Come on, let's run.
Starting point is 00:09:58 Yeah. And we all just sprint past Barney. And Barney hobbles. Look at the speed of that old man. What's Barney's hobble speed? Well, it's actually walking 30. So I guess I'll run to the whatever, the left way you said? Yeah, the option to the left or the right.
Starting point is 00:10:16 I'll give you a little more flavor here. If you want to proceed, like when you get to the intersection that go both left and right, to the left are stairs that go down a short way. And then to the right is just a flat alley that continues down. And then from what you can tell, it looks like it branches off again further down to the right. Stairs to go down to like another alleyway type thing or
Starting point is 00:10:35 to like a... Correct. Go down the stairs. Okay. Yeah. The man with the walker. I like to... Get out of like eyesight, right? Yeah. My head cannon has Barney wearing Heelys. Yeah. Just like the sneakers, the little wheels on the bottom.
Starting point is 00:10:51 That's how he could move so fast. Yeah. And he may be old and he may have a walker, but he can run. Yeah. He's a speedy guy. Okay. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:01 So you encourage your friends to run and you take the left branch of the alleyway and make your way down to the bottom of the stairs. And can I ready an action? I can't. Yeah. Well, what did you have in mind? Sleep. Sleep?
Starting point is 00:11:16 Like a sleep spell? You don't want to sleep. Okay. I was like, you don't want to go to sleep. Bernie, not at the time. Ready an action. It's just you taking out a pillow. You want to like ready sleep in case what?
Starting point is 00:11:24 In case guys come around trying to fight us. Okay, so if, like, an enemy comes around, you're going to do your try, cast sleep. Yeah, I'll wait until, like, everyone moves and then cast sleep at the end. All right. On that note, I believe, Matide, it's your turn. Yeah. Witnessing the speedy and decisive movements of Barney. Mati follows.
Starting point is 00:11:47 And actually, once I'm at that, my, what's my range? My range is like 30 as well. 25. I'm slower than you. Once I get to the edge of that, can I, with my dark vision, see anything further down the stairs? Make me a perception check. A 25 would also put you pretty much near the end of the stairs as well.
Starting point is 00:12:05 You're pretty close to Barney. You know, we're talking five feet. Bottom of the stairs. Yeah. Uh, that's a 20. So at the bottom of the stairs, the alley kind of takes a small, like a small diversion, a small path turned to the left. And it's kind of a small open area.
Starting point is 00:12:21 And in this open area with your high perception, you think you hear a voice coming from the floor of the alley hey over here uh can i can i can i look towards the direction where the voice yeah there's a um a sewer cover that's slightly popped open so it's like a manhole cover yeah yeah exactly and it's slightly ajar yeah i? Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it's slightly ajar. Yeah, I head towards that. Okay, so you'll do like a double move to get over there? Yeah. Yeah, you get there. And like I said, you see the manhole cover, the sewer cover slightly ajar.
Starting point is 00:12:56 And under it, you see a familiar looking Abrelion, who you remember as Quill, who you just met a few minutes ago in captivity. Bonjour, Monsieur Quill, who you just met a few minutes ago in captivity. Bonjour, Monsieur Quill. Bonjour. If you want to hide, come down here with me. Could I do like an insight check on what his intentions are? That's just a trustful. Essentially.
Starting point is 00:13:17 Yeah. Does that mean he also somehow escaped his cell? That's another 20. Dang. Well, 15 plus 5. I'm going to be Well, 15 plus 5. I'm going to be clear. 15 plus 5. Your insight tells you that you don't think Quill is hiding anything.
Starting point is 00:13:30 If anything, he seems a little nervous. Okay. Yeah, yeah. He should be hiding himself. Good one. Yeah, yeah. He doesn't seem to be hiding anything other than his corporeal body. I call back.
Starting point is 00:13:43 Everyone, follow me. I found a friend. I'm in front of you. I'm in front of you. He double, Matide double moves so Matide is in front of you now. Allons-y.
Starting point is 00:13:52 And that's Matide's turn. So you get in the hole? Yeah. I'll say you don't have quite enough to get all the way down but you're up at the manhole. Sure.
Starting point is 00:14:01 Elga. Would I be able to hear Matide say that from where I am? It's kind of rainy. It's kind of noisy in the alley. Make a perception check just for fun. How good are your elf vampire ears? Very good. 22. Nice. Yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Okay. Elga follows the voice of Matide to go to the left down the path. You also double move I assume? Yeah, but my walking speed is 30. Okay, so you would get there. Caught up to Matide, but I'd say you would still be in the alley there. Okay. And I'll tell you what, just for fun, also, Elga, roll me
Starting point is 00:14:29 a d20. What's an abrelian? It's a general term for in our language, in our world, you would say like an alien. You said it was like a floating brain? Yeah, this particular abrelian looks kind of like a bulbous floating brain with like a wide, sharp beak and no eyes and long tentacles.
Starting point is 00:14:46 Oh, yeah. I remember that description. You guys kept calling it Australian. I do remember that now. Okay, I rolled a 14. Okay, great. Thank you. What does that do?
Starting point is 00:14:58 I don't know. What is going on over here? How do we get out of here? You guys just come down here and I think we can escape. But how did you get out of your cell? How are you? Where are you? Where are you?
Starting point is 00:15:11 I'm down here in the sewer. But you had to escape the cell at some point too. When did that happen? I don't know. There was a big explosion and the guards were distracted and there was a hole in the wall. So we ran out. That's all I can tell you. Okay. So I guess you double move, Elga, that we are at Chip Haney. distracted and there was a hole in the wall so we ran out that's all i can tell you okay so i guess
Starting point is 00:15:25 you double move uh elga that we are at chip haney just to because of the precedent we said here why don't you roll me a perception check as well to see if you can hear uh matide calling out okie dokie oh that's a nine you didn't hear matide yelling for y'all to come this way but you did see everyone run off and go to the left oh je, jeepers creepers better go that way. And then I run that way. So you run with one move to get to the bottom of the stairs. You get caught up to where Barney is. Okay.
Starting point is 00:15:52 And you can see Elga and Mateed crouching down, looking in a manhole just a little up ahead of you. Okay. Well, then I want to assist Barney and make sure that he gets into the manhole before I do. Okay, so you're going to kind of hang tight here, splitting the party up with Barney at the base of the stairs. I'll be okay.
Starting point is 00:16:11 No, it's okay, Barney. Right this way. Right this way. I know. You're helping. I'm being a helper. I'm just going to ready my... Unless assisting Barney requires an action, I'm just going to, like, ready myself or whatever. So you're going one walk distance and then ready.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Yeah. To cover. Yeah. Do you have anything specific in mind you want to ready or just like. I ain't got no spells. Follow the law. And it's illegal. It's illegal.
Starting point is 00:16:38 That's right. Follow the law. Like a melee attack. I have a rapier that I can prepare. Sure. You get ready to just make a melee strike if anyone shows up. I say, on guard! And then I'm like, yeah, Matilde.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Matilde. Oh, shucks. Okay, from where you are, Barney and Chip, both of you please make me one more percept to check you. Twelve. Four! That's a five minus one.
Starting point is 00:17:07 Chip, you're somewhat distracted by everything that's going on. You're overwhelmed maybe with the smells and the raucous nature of what's going on. I do like the rain. Oh, do you? Yeah, very romantic. Barney, however, you're a little more focused since you're prepared, and you can hear the voices getting closer, and you know hear the voices getting closer and you know that the or you can
Starting point is 00:17:25 tell that the coughs have now reached the the exit from the holding facility where you were your previous turn you can't see them yet but you you can tell that they're getting closer from where i am can i see any like open doors or windows or anything uh further away like the other direction like not up the stairs or anything like that? Yeah, from where you are, you can only see up the stairs, like on this one corridor, everything else would be like to the left around a corner or to the right around a corner at this point.
Starting point is 00:17:52 But there are closed doors and windows in this alley coming down the stair that you can see. And there's a sewer with a giant brain. Ooh. I'm gonna use thaumaturgy, okay? Uh-huh. And it's a spell. You doing magic? Oh, no. And
Starting point is 00:18:11 I hope it's not bad. Anyway, I want to create an instantaneous sound that originates from a point of your choice within range. And can I make the sound of like a door slamming shut, like the other direction of where we didn't go? Yeah, and one of the options is you instantaneously cause
Starting point is 00:18:32 an unlocked door or, well, I see why you're asking, or window to fly open or slam shut. They were all closed, though. He's making a noise. Yeah, so you can make the noise. You can't actually close the door, though, or window or door, I should say. Yeah, I guess I'll just do that. Make the sound of
Starting point is 00:18:48 like a door slam shut. Do you have to roll anything for that? No? Okay, I guess it's up to them to try to determine whether or not they can tell. Okay. Let me make a couple rolls here. It's a distraction. You can't see them,
Starting point is 00:19:03 so you don't know how effective it was necessarily, but you think maybe the bulk of the sounds of pursuit are receding. As you're doing that, the alchemist quickly shuffles past you and gives you a pat on the head, Barney. Well done. And he keeps moving on towards the sewer cover that's further ahead. We're going in the sewer.
Starting point is 00:19:25 All right, is there anything else you want to do, Barney? Well, I guess I'll just keep going. I'll run. Yeah, you still have one movement, which would be enough to get you there. Yeah, I'll do that. All right, just because I don't want to make any assumptions, what specifically do you do with this move?
Starting point is 00:19:38 I move and follow the others into the hole. Oh, gotcha. No one's in the hole yet, but they're starting to begin that process. Go ahead, just for fun, roll me a d20, Barney. 16. Okay. Yeah, you're able to catch up with everyone
Starting point is 00:19:51 looking down into the manhole, and you see Quill at the bottom. I made a door noise. All right, Mateed, I didn't have you roll me a d20. Roll me a d20 just for fun. 19. Okay, wow. Lots of good rolls here.
Starting point is 00:20:06 What is happening? All right, um... Mateed is a very interesting character. I'm worried about these d20s. I can't tell if Gus is happy about that one. All right, what do you want to do, Mateed? Before you lies the open manhole, and down at the bottom you see Quill.
Starting point is 00:20:22 I jump down. Yeah, it's only about a 15-foot drop. I drop down. Okay. Make a... Since it is a little bit of a drop, just go ahead. No, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:20:30 I'm an air croaker. I float down with those wings. Oh. Can you really extend them going through a manhole? At the very least, you can get down there and they're also very light. Okay, okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:20:39 I'll give it to you. Yeah. All right, so Mateed, you have jumped down the manhole and gracefully floated and landed in sewage. Like a feathery ballerina. What do I see? Obviously, Quill is there with you. It's a pretty dim sewage tunnel, and it does not smell great.
Starting point is 00:20:58 The smells are all kind of overwhelming, the smell of refuse and stormwater. The walls are covered, you know, in moss and lichen, and it's generally not a very pleasant place. So I'm just in a big room? It's like a long passageway. Okay. How much of my movement speed did that drop cost me? Let's say that took half of your move.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Walking speed or flying speed? Flying. Okay. From here, you know, this is, you're at kind of one dead end and then the passageway appears to go head south a little bit and then kind of dead end and turn to the left. Okay. Which would be east. Yeah, Matisse is going to keep going.
Starting point is 00:21:34 So I go... Head to the south a bit? Head to the south. How far does that take me? If I, I can't fly down here, I assume, right? No, it's pretty cramped. To get to the point where you turn, it's about 25, 30 feet. Okay, I can get to that distance.
Starting point is 00:21:48 Can I get to the bend? Yeah. Can I look down the bend? Yeah, then from here, when you turn to the east, you see there is a trough of refuse flowing, and there's some planks over it to walk across to the other side. And on the other side, you see a door. Oh, a door. As you walk away,
Starting point is 00:22:08 Aquil says, you don't want to wait for your friends? I am sketching ahead. Ah, yes. Very good indeed. Okay, I'm there. Okay, Elga, you're still in the alleyway. Yeah. I feel like Elga at this point wouldn't go down yet. I think she's going to
Starting point is 00:22:23 provide cover for this manhole as the rest of her team goes in. Well, you know, I'm very strong and, you know, someone must protect this area and make sure we all escape okay. You are now my friend. You know, Elko is so heroic. Also, I'm hoping maybe one of them comes by
Starting point is 00:22:41 because I am very hungry. All right, so you're just kind of delaying your action, making sure everyone gets in okay? And maybe kind of like ready my greataxe. Yeah. In case someone gets in melee range, you'll take a swing? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you got it. And here I thought Mateed would take me under her wing. That's an Aarakocra joke,
Starting point is 00:22:57 yeah? Ah, you're a giant bird. I like how you just scream it at the end. Alright, that's Elga Which takes us to Chip Haney Oh, yeah Do you prefer I call you Chip or Chip Haney? I realize I've been saying Chip Haney every time
Starting point is 00:23:12 I like Chip Haney You can call me whatever you want, partner Alright, so I'm in the manhole thing Barney's gone down No, only Matide Only Matide Well, I was going to cover barney but if elga wants to take care of that then i'm gonna go cover matita i don't want to get the party too too
Starting point is 00:23:31 separated so i'm gonna slip down this here manhole 15 foot drop uh well i did mention in my past that i was part of the volunteer fire brigade being a tiefling who was resistant to fire i was putting my natural abilities good use so i feel like i'd be pretty proficient at going please tell me down tell me what firemen do that drops them 15 feet oh you know elevator shafts jumping helping climbing up down i'll tell you what make me a perception check okay this has nothing to do with the animal does it you got dark vision or anything i do there you go i think both blaine's character and my character have dark vision that's a six okay nothing nothing nothing huh that's a six okay well i want to do that thing where there's no ladder right no it's just a drop
Starting point is 00:24:22 down okay can i do that thing where i like put my hands on either side of the wall and then my legs on either side of the wall and then i'm just going to use some of the friction to lower myself down or is it just like a gaping hole kind of like a gaping hole that goes down it's not just like a tube where you could do that what you gonna do i'm gonna look and see if the amateur g my old trusted old trusted thing. That's not gonna do anything for you. No, it's just got me something here. You could probably land, okay. Yeah, you could do a check.
Starting point is 00:24:50 Aren't you like a rogue? I am. Are you supposed to be nimble? Okay, then how about I do some cool parkour where I jump from one wall to the next. Just, I'm gonna drop down the hole. All right, just make me, just for fun, just make me a dexterity check. I'll give you advantage on this one. Oh, that's a... No, just make me a dexterity check. I'll give you advantage on this one. Oh, that's a...
Starting point is 00:25:07 No, no, not a save, a check. Oh, God. Second campaign. Still can't get those straight. Some people just don't. So we'll say that was a 20. Okay. We'll just convert the first one because it's just a plus two.
Starting point is 00:25:18 So you rolled a 24. That should actually be a 22 because it's a check and a 10. Those are the two we'll take. Wahoo. Yes, a 22 because it's a check and a 10. Those are the two we'll take. Wahoo. Yes, a 22. That's great. You dive into the manhole, and you're able to nimbly do a little tuck and roll at the bottom
Starting point is 00:25:31 and avoid taking any damage. Ah, right through all the sewage. Yum. What do I see? Well, I will say the sewage is off a little bit. Like where you land, it's actually kind of a dry spot. The sewage is further down around to the left where Mateed saw it actively flowing.
Starting point is 00:25:45 Cool. What do I see? You see Quill down here and you're at the Northern end of a long rectangular room. And then down to the South, you see Mateed kind of peeking around the corner. Okay. I'm going to go as far as I can to get close to Mateed.
Starting point is 00:25:58 Okay. And then when I pass Quill, I say, Oh, you must be the brains of the operation because you're a floating brain. Wow, Chip. I've never heard that one before. Ah, high five. He puts out a tentacle with a claw at the end.
Starting point is 00:26:15 Actually, he puts up five of them. Oh, better high five him. This is new for us. We just learned this one. Okay, that was Chip Haney. That takes us to... Oh, back up to Barney. Actually, I'm sorry. One second before you go, I have to
Starting point is 00:26:31 make a couple rolls for myself. It's the guys pursuing us. Okay. Yeah, that takes us back up to Barney. Okay. Barney's going to hop down. Yeah? Okay. How's this going to go? Gracefully. Barney has really good night vision, like 300 feet. Does that help him go? Uh, gracefully. Um, and Barney has really good night vision. Like, 300 feet. Does that help him fall?
Starting point is 00:26:48 Oh, it helps him see. It helps him see where he's landing. He can see the danger as it hits him. He can see all 15 feet of the drop. Alright, uh, go ahead and roll me a, uh, dexterity check, please. Uh, Barney, dexterity check.
Starting point is 00:27:03 I got 20-20 vision. I can fall like the best of them. Or acrobatics. If you want to put a little fancy flourish, you can do that. Yeah. A little acrobatics. Yeah. He has a higher acrobatics. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:13 He wants to jump down and do a flip. Well, what I'm picturing is like in gymnast routines, like you put your walker down and you do like a handstand straight up from it. And then you, like, push off and then do a flip and then, you know, grab the walker on the way down and land with it in a handstand again at the bottom. Yeah, I want to do that. Okay. I've lived over a century. I've never seen anything like this.
Starting point is 00:27:36 All right. Definitely have seen something like this. Have you ever seen an old person fall down? Yes, many times. This is very familiar. How's this going to go? How is it going to go, Gus? Make him fall.
Starting point is 00:27:49 Make him fall. In your mind, it looked way different than the actual execution. Does he get even into the hole? We'll say yes. He just flips over. He just flips over the hole. You manage to fall, not not gracefully into the hole, landing at the bottom, and you
Starting point is 00:28:07 take four points of damage. My hit. It was probably loud, too, because he's got this big old walker that's made of metal clattering on the floor with him. Magical life alert or anything? Yeah, I have one health.
Starting point is 00:28:23 I had already taken four damage from like a... Oh, no. We're so tiny. That's okay. I'm okay. As a bonus action, I want to cast Healing Word on myself. Okay. What's your Healing Word?
Starting point is 00:28:35 Benkei. Benkei. This podcast is not sponsored by Benkei. We're an icy hot group here. Five. Five. Ooh. I'm back. That was the minimum you could have gotten.
Starting point is 00:28:52 Yeah. I feel like the bones would be cracking as he got back up. Is that it for you, Barney? Can I go any further? You would still have movement if you wanted to. You could probably catch up to Matit and Chipaini down to the south if you wanted. Yeah, I'll do that. With
Starting point is 00:29:09 dexterity that surprises you, Barney bounces from the ground. You hear it. You know when you call out things like that, he's going to make you roll. No, I'm just saying. I get back up fast. All you guys have to do is say, I walked here, and he won't make you roll. I'm just going to see if you're going to give yourself two more I walked here, and he won't make you roll. I'm just... To see if you're going to give yourself
Starting point is 00:29:26 two more pit points of damage. No, I'm just... I'm not doing anything crazy. I'm just... I'm trying to describe it, what happened. You know? So, like, I hit the ground with a crack, and you don't know if it's the ground or my hip.
Starting point is 00:29:39 And then I go... Icy hot. Icy hot. Icy hot. And then I wobble towards you guys. Wobble? Hobble. Hobble. Wobble hobble.
Starting point is 00:29:52 I mean, you did get some damage, so you may have been wobbling. All right. So you join them to the south. Is that it for Barney? Yeah, he's had enough. The whole gang's here. Not Elga. I'm still up here.
Starting point is 00:30:06 Who said that? Be careful. The alchemist is still up above ground as well and pats you on the back, Elga. Why, thank you, Elga. Much appreciated. And he walks over to a nearby wall, picks up a ladder
Starting point is 00:30:21 and tosses it down the manhole. What are you doing, Gus? Walking down. What are you doing here? Using the ladder. Where did this ladder come from? It's the ladder you didn't see when you rolled a six on your perception check. Oh, dear.
Starting point is 00:30:34 Like this. It all comes back. Sometimes you don't find out what the rolls were for. Sometimes the alchemist shows you. I'm glad I have closure. So yeah, the alchemist tosses the ladder down the manhole and begins scurrying down. Boy, am I glad that I waited for you because I would have hurt myself trying to jump. Sometimes patience is the key, huh?
Starting point is 00:31:00 That being said, however, it is Matide's turn. Oh. So from your perspective, what you see, again, Elga is not down yet. The alchemist is staying with Quill under the manhole. You are surrounded by Chip and Barney. And then to the east from where you are is like a trough of refuse and sewage with planks over it, leading to a small platform on the other side with a door that's closed. Yeah, I crossed the door.
Starting point is 00:31:26 Over the planks. Yeah. I feel like Matee to be able to traverse this with ease. It is your duty. God, that took a while for us to get to a poop joke. Duty. Yeah, you begin crossing across to the door on the other side. And while you're doing that, you hear the alchemist.
Starting point is 00:31:45 Perhaps we should wait a moment for all of us to regroup. Sorry, I'm holding up the tea. Matide proceeds. Okay. Yeah, you proceed. And then right across is a door that appears to be closed. What is it? It's a wooden door.
Starting point is 00:32:02 Big old wooden door in a sewer. Can I listen to see if I hear anything on the other side of the door? Yeah, make a perception check. Actually, can I do this? So I want to do incorporeal movement. Ooh, that's a new one. And can I stick my head through? So for our listeners, incorporeal movement is an ability that you have as a ghost,
Starting point is 00:32:23 which allows you to once per short rest, you can use a bonus action to move through other creatures and objects as if they were difficult terrain for up to one minute with concentration. And if you end your turn inside an object, you take some force damage. So since this would take less than a minute, you would want to use your incorporeal movement to stick your head through the door and see what's going on movement to stick your head through the door. Yeah. And see what's going on. Yeah. You stick your head through the door and look around. And it's a fairly small room. If you had to guess, I don't know, 15 feet by 15 feet or so. And at the northern end of the room,
Starting point is 00:32:54 there appears to be a pretty large pipe that's dripping. It's like kind of rusty and looks kind of old and falling apart. And make me a perception check for anything beyond that. You said the pipe was at the other end of the room? It was at the north end of the room. So you're approaching from the west side. Yeah, yeah. So you have to turn to your left to see this big pipe.
Starting point is 00:33:11 And there's a pipe like in the ceiling or in the wall? In the wall. Okay. And then make me a perception check as well. Perception... Oh, six. Yeah, and it's just a tiled room with the dripping water pipe up to the north. How big's the pipe?
Starting point is 00:33:25 Are we talking like a normal size pipe or like Mario? It's pretty sizable. Not quite Mario size. It's, I don't know what normal size pipe is. I mean like a sink pipe. Oh, no, no. Bigger than that. This is more like what you would expect.
Starting point is 00:33:38 I would say if I had to take a guess as to the diameter of the pipe, it's probably, let's say, eight inches in diameter. And I don't see any creatures in here? No, you do not see any creatures. All you can really see is the pipe that is dripping. But can't fit us up it, I assume, if it's eight inches.
Starting point is 00:33:55 Oh, no, no. You're small, Elga, but you're not that small. Oh, thank you. I bring my head back through and I'm awake. Okay. Hey there, Mateed.
Starting point is 00:34:04 I ate a burger last week. I don't think it fully digested. Can you take a look into my stomach? Respect your magic power. See what the ruckus is in there. End the turn right there. You've got a minute. Yeah, I've got a whole minute of it.
Starting point is 00:34:17 Plenty of time. I am sorry. That is not how I use disability. Doki doki. Mateed is now is waiting outside the door. That takes us to Elga. You are the final remaining person up
Starting point is 00:34:28 above ground. And do I am I aware that anyone is getting close or does it seem like they're make a perception check. This is where Elga
Starting point is 00:34:35 puts the manhole cover on and goes off on Elga's own side adventure. 14. Available on Spotify wherever you find podcasts.
Starting point is 00:34:42 It sounds like the pursuers might have gone in another direction. Perhaps Barney's subterfuge worked and distracted them. Okay, Elga will go down the manhole, and could she also put the cover back over? Look at you, thinking ahead. Smart. Yes, absolutely. Since the ladder's there, it's easy enough for you to wait and pull the manhole cover over. You know, Bar, we give yourself an inspiration day.
Starting point is 00:35:06 Wait a minute. Go ahead. Salutations, my stinky supporters. Have you checked out our merch at store.roosterteeth.com? We've got Stinky Dragon shirts and hats, Gum Gum and Bart mugs, posters of the party from our previous campaign, and of course, Smarsh is King decals. Plus, we've got some new items coming soon. I can't wait to share with you.
Starting point is 00:35:26 Trust me, you don't want to miss this stuff. So give us a follow at StinkyDragonPod or on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok. Plus as an added bonus, if you post on social media using hashtag StinkyDragonPod, we might name an NPC in the show after you. Today's episode is sponsored by PayPal Honey, the easy way to save when shopping on your iPhone or computer.
Starting point is 00:35:45 I don't know about you all, but it seems to me the price of eggs, gas, movie tickets, you name it, it's all on the rise due to inflation. When I find myself in a situation where I can find a good deal on something, I feel, you know, kind of like a kid opening gifts on their birthday. Well, thanks to Honey, manually searching for coupon codes is a thing of the past. In case you don't already know, Honey is the free shopping tool that scours the internet for promo codes, applies the best one it finds to your cart. It's super easy to use. When you're checking out on your favorite sites, the Honey button appears. All you have to do is click apply coupons. That's it. If Honey finds a working coupon, you'll watch the prices drop. It's an absolute game changer whenever I'm shopping for stuff online. Normally that coupon code box is just like taunting, right? Like there's money you're leaving on the table. Honey, make sure that I get all the savings I can.
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Starting point is 00:36:50 you could be straight up missing out. By getting it, you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting the show. Get PayPal Honey for free at joinhoney.com slash dragon. That's joinhoney.com slash dragon. Hey everyone, I want to take a moment to remind you that RTX 2023 is happening this July 7th to 9th. RTX is my favorite time of the year, hands down. slash dragon. Hey everyone, wanted to take a moment to remind you that RTX 2023 is happening
Starting point is 00:37:06 this July 7th to 9th. RTX is my favorite time of the year, hands down. I get to interact with all of the amazing people that give us the opportunity to make content. It's really a celebration
Starting point is 00:37:14 of all things Rooster Teeth. It's got panels, special guests, community artists, cosplay, more, exclusive reveals, meet and greets with Rooster Teeth talent,
Starting point is 00:37:21 special merch available only during the event. We just unveiled some of it the other day. We got Travis the Bat and Willie the Armadillo. I am in love with Travis and Willie. I want to buy all of the merch that we release. I've already told them, like, put me
Starting point is 00:37:34 I'm going to be first in line getting that stuff. We're changing up how the convention feels this year. It's going to be awesome. I mentioned a mini Epcot style convention show floor with different attractions and activations from your favorite Rooster Teeth brands all wrapped up in a summer camp theme. It's summer camp for indoor kids with Face Jam's Rat and Grackle Pub, a Red Web Escape Room, a Bleep Face Museum, a Team 100 mini golf, and even more cool stuff to do that we're saving for attendees to experience. This very podcast will have a panel.
Starting point is 00:37:58 We're going to be doing some special stuff. We're coordinating some special D&D experiences with some special guests that you may be familiar with. I can't say anything more right now, but please come to RTX and you can see it for yourself in person. Thanks for listening to me get very excited about RTX. Looking forward to meeting all of you there. Head over to rtxaustin.com to get more information about the event and buy your badge. Yeah, so you clamber down the ladder and meet up with the alchemist and Quill who are still standing at the base. As you're getting off the ladder, you hear the alchemist and Quill are having a conversation. Thank you, Quill, was it?
Starting point is 00:38:35 Hey, don't mention it. If you don't mind me asking, why were you guys locked up in the first place? Quill actually turns and looks at you, Elga, when he asks that. place. Quill actually turns and looks at you, Elka, when he asks that. Well, you know, my memory has been coming back to me a little bit, and I think that they wrongfully think that I was involved in a murder.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Ooh, a murder? And you know, I've done plenty of murders, but this one I did not, so... It really hurts when you get accused of a murder you didn't do. Exactly, yes. It's very... It seems personal in that case. I've done a lot of murder in my day.
Starting point is 00:39:06 I won't lie about it. You're not there. Oh. Yeah, you proceeded to the south. You're not there. Were you serious? Yeah, same.
Starting point is 00:39:12 Talking to yourself at the other end of the room? Oh, yeah, back in my day I did lots of murders. The alchemist looks at you, Elga, and says, well, for what it's worth,
Starting point is 00:39:22 I don't think you or your friends were involved in the murder of Lorenza either. You were on the stage with her, right? Were you close? Oh, yes. I've known Lorenza for many, many years. We met when I was still a custodian at Lofton College. She helped me get my life back on track and establish at their asylum to provide alchemical care for those seeking refuge. Ah, goodwill hunting. Good movie. But I think perhaps we should try
Starting point is 00:39:46 to figure out who is behind this to clear our names. Wait, so really quick. The alchemist, was he the one that was doing the phony magic tricks or was he the one that came to her aid? The alchemist came to the aid. Or was that Zuzu Top? Correct. Zuzu Top. Oh, excellent. We don't like Zuzu Top. Hey, Barbara, another inspiration
Starting point is 00:40:01 dance just for you. I haven't given myself one. Actually, I'll tell you what. Since everyone was able to successfully hide and get down here and evade the cops, everyone, you can go and actually get an inspiration die. And you can all take a short rest as well. So I had an extra inspiration die there. We're out of combat then. Yes.
Starting point is 00:40:20 That was a tough fight. I'm fully at full health, so I don't really think I'll take it. The alchemist says, Speaking of Zuzu Top, perhaps that's the place we should begin our investigation. He was on stage with us after all. That is true. By any chance, did you collect any evidence from this scene of the crime? Perhaps, you know, like DNA sampling, blood, maybe her blood in a bag or sippy cup. I'm afraid not. You don't happen to know anything about
Starting point is 00:40:53 Zuzu, do you? Because I don't know much about them. I know nothing about Zuzu. You're not there either. Can you guys please keep track of where you're standing? That's Barney talking to himself. I don't know where Zuzu Top is. Oh yeah, Chip, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:10 No, you know, I haven't spent much time in the city, so I've never actually heard of Zuzu Top. At this point, Quill also chimes in. I mean, I don't know Zuzu personally, but I might know some folks who do. But I don't know how I feel about squealing on another Abralion to some Ordies like you guys. Zuzu's Abralion?
Starting point is 00:41:30 Yes. Okay. Do you want to try to do anything to persuade Quill to help you out? Would I be doing this or would the Alchemist be trying to do that? I'm asking if you want to try. Yeah, I'll try. Yeah. I guess, could I do an insight check to see if he's telling the truth and maybe he knows more about Zuzu than...
Starting point is 00:41:47 Well, he's saying he does know more. He just doesn't want to talk. Right. He doesn't want to squeal to you Ordis. Well, you know, you can trust us and like you wanted to help us in the first place, get us down here, which means you must like us to some degree. So maybe if you tell us, you know, we could all work together. That's true. But just to sweeten the deal, you don't know
Starting point is 00:42:05 any gossip, do you? Anything juicy you could share with me? Juicy? Juicy blood. So hungry. Well, you know, the other day when we were in the jail cell and I overheard two people
Starting point is 00:42:21 talking, it sounded like someone said something bad about someone's mother. Oh. Yes. I don't know what they were saying. I was like leaning in like, what you here for? Yeah, don't you remember? I'm not there.
Starting point is 00:42:35 You're on your own member. Don't you remember, Errol God? Think deep down in your brain, remember? His tentacles are quivering with excitement. Just make something up. Have they not caught up yet? They went the other way. No, we're just at the bottom of where the sewer is.
Starting point is 00:42:50 Oh, yeah. They haven't caught up. Are you talking about them, the group of the three of them? Yeah, they're still standing there talking. The cabin. We're gossiping. Right, Quill? Gossip.
Starting point is 00:43:00 Just a bunch of gossip. All right, all right. You got yourself a deal. I'll help you find Zuzu. Nice. I'll tell you what. He's probably holed up somewhere in Area 15, hiding from the cops like us. But I should tell you right now.
Starting point is 00:43:12 Most of Braylians aren't just going to flap their yaps to a bunch of orties. What do we need to do to convince people typically? Hmm. Well, everyone's a little different. Some might need a little bit of gold across their palms. Some might want a little bit of gossip. Some might need a little bit of gold across their palms. Some might want a little bit of gossip. Some might take a little bit of muscle. Seems like gossip is a very popular commodity.
Starting point is 00:43:33 Knowledge is a very important currency. Don't underestimate it. Ooh, giant brains. The alchemist chimes in here and says, I think it would be best to leave that to the four of you. I fear for my family's safety, and they're probably worried for me as well. leave that to the four of you. I fear for my family's safety, and they're probably worried for me as well.
Starting point is 00:43:49 I need to find a secure way to contact them, but once I do, I can reach out to some of the contacts. I can find out about the other clan leaders and see where they are. Could we have walked over and joined them? Yeah. Okay. No one said they wanted to, so. Yeah, Barney, you walk up as the alchemist is explaining this.
Starting point is 00:44:05 This will give me time to gather supplies for us. Once you all finish following any leads, let's reconvene somewhere safe. Perhaps here in the sewer. Why did you bring us out of jail? Because I knew you were falsely accused, as was I. And we're the only people I can trust to find the real murderers. I didn't know you could trust us. We just met.
Starting point is 00:44:24 Do you trust us, knowing that we didn't do you could trust us. We just met. Do you trust us knowing that we didn't do it because maybe you had some involvement, Mr. Alchemist? Oh, absolutely not. As I said, Lorenzo and I have been long friends. You know, murders and homicides
Starting point is 00:44:39 are often committed by people closest to the victim. That's why we're investigating Zuzu. They were closest of all. Barney looks around and takes a step back. Elga listens to a lot of true crime podcasts. Podcasts in this realm are just birds that fly around and tell people stories. Quill says, if you don't mind,
Starting point is 00:44:58 if you could actually help me navigate the sewers to reach Area 15, that would be much appreciated. Oh, what kind of navigation do you need? Uh, if someone could please hold my tentacle. You know, after all, I don't have eyeballs. I experience the world via sound, and all the sounds in the sewer are a little overwhelming to me.
Starting point is 00:45:15 It's very difficult for me to get my bearings down here. Okay, do you want to get on my head? I'd love that. Quildia Brilliant, uh, uses tentacles to steady himself, and, uh, he, I would say he attaches himself to you, but it's not like he's Yes, yes, yes resting like a fancy brain hat on Barney's head yeah, what is this brain sucker doing I don't know. What is this brain sucker doing? He's starving Come on Chris, that's a hat on a hat what happens next oh yeah um the alchemist says okay so it's settled we'll reconvene here
Starting point is 00:45:54 in the sewer once you have some information and once i have supplies i'll leave you to it before he goes um could i have some of his blood what What? Like, could I accidentally, like, shake his hand, but, like, scratch his finger with my nail and be like, oh, I'm so sorry. Let me kiss the boo-boo. Sure, why not? Here's some rolls. Yeah, to shake his hand and scratch it.
Starting point is 00:46:21 That's slide a hand, by the way. That's definitely slide a hand. I'm using my inspiration. What did you roll? What did you roll? An eight. Okay. Nat 20.
Starting point is 00:46:30 Nat 23. It's a drive. Yeah, so you extend your hand and the alchemist eagerly, you know, extends his hand as well to shake it. You give it a little scratch. Ouch. I'm so sorry. Let me kiss it better. You know, an old family tradition To make it heal faster
Starting point is 00:46:45 Make me a deception check So much going into you just trying to get a drop of blood Fifteen Oh he says oh I don't want to be rude And then I suck the blood out of his finger How much are you talking? How many ounces? Just like a little bit
Starting point is 00:47:00 Does that hurt him? No This is weird Are you okay? Does that give you life it's just i have something called uh vampiric vitality which is advantage against necrotic damage immune to disease but i require blood each day okay so you knock this you're knocking this out of the i'm just making sure i'm gonna live for place. Nice. So you're good for 24 hours then. That means that, like, however long this campaign takes,
Starting point is 00:47:28 at some point one of us is going to have to just be like, well, I'm a ghost, so... Party, you and me are in blood duty. Okay, yeah, you're able to lap up a little bit of blood. I've got diabetes. Okay, that's a very wet kiss. Thank you, Elka. Sorry. Oh, oh, oh.
Starting point is 00:47:49 Chip runs up and he says, oh, it looks like you got a cut there, bud. And I want to pull out some like antiseptic wipes and a band-aid that I have in my fanny pack. Oh, okay. Yeah. And you clean up the wound, make a medicine check. That is not necessary. I already kissed it. Oh, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:48:05 We're in a sewer. He could get an infection real bad. That is a five. Oh, no. Come on. Got a little poop in there. Yeah, you try to clean up the wound, but maybe it's the dirty environment. There's some moss ends up under there.
Starting point is 00:48:20 The bandage doesn't quite stick on very well. Were you prepared for the alchemist to get sepsis this early on? The alchemist says, I can handle it. Thank you. I am an alchemist. Okay. All right. Anyway, we'll reconvene here. So go away.
Starting point is 00:48:37 Join Mateet. Barney, Chip, and Elga, all three of you make me a perception check. Six. Twenty-two. Eleven. Chip and Barney, Chip, and Elga, all three of you make me a perception check. Six. 22. 11. Chip and Barney, each of you notices small crumbs on the ground, some kind of food. Elga, your perception's a little sharper, and you can tell that it's small crumbs of cheese that heads down and then to the east,
Starting point is 00:49:00 kind of out by where Mateed is. Barney, put that down. So the cheese goes towards where Mateed is at the bridge? Correct. And past seemingly through the door and everything. Does it matter what type of cheese? It's Munster. Thank you for asking. Of course it's Munster.
Starting point is 00:49:15 Of course it's Munster. Munster! It does not appear to be very fresh. This is unbelievable. You guys gonna join me? You cheddar believe it. There it is. Here we go. Okay, yeah, so you all head down south, cross the planks, and are at the closed wooden door where Matide is.
Starting point is 00:49:35 I don't know if Matide, if you have shared what you noticed on the other side of the door. Bonjour. Is there only thing I can see in the other side of the door? Is a pipe and nothing else. I've got a new hat. You do have a new hat. It's Treble. Treble? Yes.
Starting point is 00:49:54 Not would you? I think his name is Zuzu Top. No, that is a different. What's your name again? No, it's not. Zuzu is the cousin. Quill. Quill.
Starting point is 00:50:02 Quill. Yeah, you all are looking for Zuzu. Does the cheese seem to go under the door through the... Yes. There seems to be a dairy product on the floor leading into this room. Did you happen to see any mice or any other creature? Unfortunately, I did not. Well, luckily, I'm not afraid of anything, so let's just open it.
Starting point is 00:50:24 Okay, you gonna go for it? Yeah. Elga tries to open the door. You open the door, and it appears as Matide described it, with a large pipe that appears to be dripping up on the northern end of the room. Is it, like, pitch black in here? Yes, it is very dark. Can you see in the dark?
Starting point is 00:50:42 Yeah, we all have dark vision. I'm just curious if there's any source of light. Do we all do? All four of us have dark vision? I do. Team dark vision, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:51 Okay, Elga goes in. Elga steps into the room and must make me a dexterity saving throw. Uh-oh. Oh, saving throw. Jesus, attacking. Oof.
Starting point is 00:51:01 Seven. It seems like a strange coincidence, but as soon as you step into the room, the pipe on the northern wall bursts open, releasing a spray of sewage, covering you and hitting you with high-pressure sewage, pinning you up against the wall. Oh, dang.
Starting point is 00:51:16 So freaking gross. Ken Barney. Elga, you take one point of damage. One point of what damage? What type of damage? Sewage damage. Oh, bludgeoning. Bludgeoning.
Starting point is 00:51:24 Poop damage. Po of damage. One point of what damage? What type of damage? Sewage damage. Oh, bludgeoning. Bludgeoning. Poop damage. Poop damage. So it's just like, it's just still pinning you up against the wall. Don't open your mouth. Oh, no. Oh, it's so nasty. Can Barney cast Minding? She's still being pinned against the wall by the water, and you're casting Healing Spell.
Starting point is 00:51:44 No, Minding. On the pipe. Oh, okay. I thought you were like healing but you're still just being bludgeoned by sewage. The spell repairs a single break or tear in an object you touch. It says you're a broken chain link, you have a broken key, torn cloak,
Starting point is 00:51:57 leaking wineskin, lungs that break is no larger than one foot in any dimension. It's eight inches. Leaving no trace of the form. Yes. You have to walk into the room to do that. It says you have to touch it. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:10 I'll go up to it. Okay. Yeah, Barney, as he would say, Barney wobbles into the room. Wobble, baby, wobble, baby. Goes up to the pipe and- Take your time though, Barn. No rush. Conjures some arcane energies and mends the pipe puts it
Starting point is 00:52:26 back together back in my younger days i sometimes did some plumbing wow barry that's a heck of a story pal i do love this idea that barney just has like the most boring mundane stories from his earlier years just so enthralled by it. Elga and Barney, both of you make me a perception check. 12. 17. Elga, now that you've cleaned some of the sewage out of your eyes, you see a rusty valve in the southeastern corner of the room.
Starting point is 00:53:02 Does that seem to be connected to the pipe? You can't tell. It's just on the wall, so you don't know what's behind the wall or what it's connected to. Could I go over to it? Yeah, it's just a very rusted up valve. Is it the only valve in the room? Yes. I know you just
Starting point is 00:53:16 fixed this pipe, but what if I turn this valve? Neato. Do it. Elgid turns it. Righty tighty or lefty loosey? Oh, lefty loosey. You try to turn it left, but it doesn't seem to be able to turn. Like, it's already turned all the way to the left.
Starting point is 00:53:32 There is no more... Open all the way. I guess it's righty tighty, it is. Turns it to the right. Yeah, you turn it to the right. Nothing seems to happen, but it does go all the way to the right. And I forgot to mention, there is also another door in this room as well. Oh, where's the right? Yeah, you turn it to the right. Nothing seems to happen, but it does go all the way to the right. And I forgot to mention, there is also another door in this room as well. Oh, where's the door?
Starting point is 00:53:49 The northeast corner, kind of opposite from where the door you entered from was. Okay. So yeah, you were able to turn it all the way to the right. You can't discern anything that happens, but it does turn all the way to the right. Hey, Quill needed an exit. Could he fit in that pipe there? The cuckoo pipe? Well, it's been mended.
Starting point is 00:54:04 Okay. And I don't know that would help him necessarily. This is a pipe that's shooting out. Yeah, we're trying to get him out of here. You're trying to get out of here? That's not how pipes work. We want to keep him with us, though. Well, we shut the valve off so maybe the poo-poo flow stops.
Starting point is 00:54:15 I'm going to go in this door. Yeah, you walk up to the door. It's just a plain wooden door. It appears to be unlocked. Knock, knock. Do you knock on it? No, I say that. Oh.
Starting point is 00:54:27 Listen. There isn't. Make a perception check. So you say knock, knock. You don't knock. But you intend to listen as if you had knocked? Yeah. He puts his ear up and just goes, knock, knock.
Starting point is 00:54:37 Knock, knock. You're a murderer. A serial killer. A 12? Yeah. 12. You don't hear anything. No one's home.
Starting point is 00:54:45 And I open the door. No one's home. And I open the door. No one's home and I open the door. A wave of sewage. You open the door and you see a long room with a hunk of cheese sitting in the center. To the east is a dark corridor with a wooden slatted floor. To the north is a 10-foot drop into the other half of the room. And there's a pile of plank wood, a stairwell, a sewer drain, and a ladder. She's at the end of the room.
Starting point is 00:55:07 Or in the center. In the center. And how far down is the dark corridor? The dark corridor is to the east. It's on the other side of the room, probably 20 feet away, 15, 20 feet away. What's in that dark corner? I have 300 feet of dark vision.
Starting point is 00:55:23 You see a wooden slatted floor, and it kind of goes for a bit and then curves to the left. You really can't see beyond that. And half the room, there's a drop-off? Yeah, then to the northern half, it drops off about 10 feet to the other half of the room, and there's just a pile of planked wood, a stairwell, sewer drain, and a ladder over there.
Starting point is 00:55:40 Not gonna lie, no clue what this room looks like. Cheese looks yummy. You know what, Bunny bunny you should go get the cheese. Okay, I had a hungry feller I'm gonna get some cheese. You want to grab it? I mean Is this anyone's cheese do you mind if I have some yeah cut the cheese Barry? Oh, so you're calling out in general not just to like your party. Yeah, just calling out. Yeah, there's no response. I'll go join Barney. Can I cut some cheese? Yeah, you get closer to the cheese
Starting point is 00:56:10 and pick it up, and it's pretty moldy and hard. Can I cut off the top layer and try and get to the soft? Yeah, you can absolutely do that. You have, like, a dagger or a knife or something I see me cut off, like, the yucky part with? Yeah, I assume I have something. Here, let me get this for you, Barney.
Starting point is 00:56:25 And Elga comes over with her great axe and cuts it in half. Okay, yeah. You know, the mold seems to be largely on the outside. Make me an investigation check since you're picking up this cheese and looking at it, Barney. Eleven? Okay, yeah. I mean, the inside doesn't look moldy like the outside does.
Starting point is 00:56:43 You going to eat that sewer cheese? Yeah. Yeah? You sure about that? Yeah. You going to eat that sewer cheese? Yeah. Yeah? You sure about that? Yeah. You want to take a bite out of it? Yeah. Okay, yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:51 I'll cut some off and I'll, you know, a big chunk to keep some for myself. So you don't bite it. You cut off a piece. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or I guess I get, with the help of the axe. You take like out the fresh cheesy core. Yeah, yeah. All right, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:03 You take a bite out of it. Make me a constitution saving throw. 17. Okay. It does not taste great, but you think you can keep it down. It's cheese! Is it? Does he know if it's just like regular old cheese?
Starting point is 00:57:17 Seems like Munster. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing extraordinary about it, I should say. I don't think I've done like a perception check for this room. Can I look around a little bit from the doorway? That sounds like a good idea. Yes, go ahead. Please, Mateed, save me from the puns.
Starting point is 00:57:32 Only 12. Yeah, you don't really notice anything else. Just this room, the... How did I describe it? What do you mean by there's a drop-off? Like, is it, like, it goes down to a lower floor? Correct. It's, like, 10 feet down, and that's to the north.
Starting point is 00:57:47 But you said there's a ladder nearby, right? Correct. Okay. Can Mateet go get the ladder and put it... Actually, I don't need to. I'm going to jump. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:54 You jump down to the lower level? Yeah. You know, this is also a long room with a small stairwell bending around a sewer drain. On one side is a portcullis, and on the other side is a ladder. Where you came from, this southern end, this is just a pile of planked wood stacked up against this 10-foot wall that leads up to the other half of the room.
Starting point is 00:58:12 There's a portcullis? Yeah. Is there a... it's closed? Correct. Can I see through it? It's like portcullises are usually see-through. Yeah. You want to go check it out?
Starting point is 00:58:22 Yeah. Yeah, you go over and look, and the portcullis appears to be unlocked. It's kind of discolored. Maybe it's been down here in disrepair for a while. The heck is a portcullis? It's those gates in front of castles that are, like, spiky and, like, that see-through gate that kind of, like, covers the entrance.
Starting point is 00:58:39 A mesh, like, wood gate. I have to look it up. Behind, like, a drawbridge. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't appear to be, like like a very big space behind there. Maybe just a, like a small closet perhaps. Hello?
Starting point is 00:58:52 Is anybody in there? Make a perception check. 19. You get no reply, but you hear like, you hear scurrying noises coming from the other side of the portcullis. All right, let's put two and two together. Is there a device to open the portcullis anywhere near me? Yeah, you're able to open it up.
Starting point is 00:59:10 Yeah, I open it up. Hey, Mateen, nacho best idea. You're not seeing this. It's a cheetah. I'm down in a hole. Yeah, you open up the portcullis, and like a swarm of rats come out from the portcullis and begin running all over you, all over your body.
Starting point is 00:59:27 Okay. Could I try an action of flying back up? He went down, released the rats. Yes. You can absolutely fly back up. Okay. You take to the air and fly back up to the upper level? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:44 Yeah. You fly back up to the upper level? Yeah. Yeah. You fly back up to the upper level. To everyone else's horror, Matit rises from the lower level, flying covered in rats. Is there any sort of action I can do to try to spin and get them off me? Yeah, make a, let's just call it a dexterity check just to try to. Slinging them against the wall. 15?
Starting point is 01:00:02 Yeah. Almost all of the rats fall off of you onto the ground below and make a beeline for Barney. And the cheese that he's holding, they begin crawling all over you, snatching the cheese out of your hand, eating it, and going through all of the folds of your clothing
Starting point is 01:00:18 looking for any other food that you may have on you. Can I push the big block of cheese away? Yeah, you can toss it, I guess. It was still in your hands, right? Yeah, yeah, but also the one I cut. Yeah. Yeah, I gave him the cheese. I gave him the cheese.
Starting point is 01:00:30 So Matide, down in the hole, there was the gate that they opened. Yes. And all the rats came out. Yeah. What else was down there? So there was like a stairwell that bends around a sewer drain, and at the right side was this portcullis that matied open and then to the left side of the sewer drain was a ladder that went back up so yeah it's
Starting point is 01:00:51 kind of like the sewer drains in the center of the northern part of the room then to the right of it was the portcullis and then to the left of the sewer drain is the ladder a sewer drain what size it is pretty big size you don't think a person could fit through it, but it is very, very large, very sizable. Okay. To, I guess, give closure to Barney, when you throw the cheese, all the rats jump off of you and begin following the cheese,
Starting point is 01:01:12 eating at it voraciously. I was going to say, maybe what we should do is bring the cheese down the hole, throw it on the other side of the room for the rats, and then go the opposite way. Well, the rats are just distracted right now. Yeah, they're no longer interested in Barney.
Starting point is 01:01:24 They're on the cheese. But it's only a few rats that you brought up with you, right? Yeah, are there more rats distracted right now. Yeah, they're no longer interested in Barney. They're on the cheese. But it's only a few rats that you brought up with you, right? Yeah, are there more rats still down below? Yeah, there's still some down there. Okay. Yeah. Mateev hears what Elga is putting down and since you split the cheese, can I
Starting point is 01:01:40 throw the cheese on the opposite side of the room from the portcullis? When you say, just so I'm clarified, the pork cullis is in the northeast corner. Do you mean like the west corner or the south corner? To the west is where the ladder is. But then down to the south is where the plank is. Is the ladder just a ladder sitting against the wall? Yeah, and it goes up to another level.
Starting point is 01:01:57 It goes up somewhere. Okay, then yeah, I want to throw it towards the pork cullis. Okay, yeah, you toss the cheese back to the pork cullis and the rats all, you know, scurry towards it and begin eating it. We're not in any sort of initiative, right? No. Okay, I'm going to go for the ladder. That was terrifying.
Starting point is 01:02:13 Yeah, so... You handled yourself very well. Why did you summon rats? Chip, Haney, you hop down to the lower level and then walk off to what would be the left side and go up to the ladder. It's just a ladder that's resting up against the wall leading to a tunnel up to the north. Yep, we're going to climb the ladder.
Starting point is 01:02:31 Okay. But as I pass the rats, I say, which one of you is his master splinter? Got it. The ninja turtles. No? Okay. Chip has climbed the ladder up to the north and it's uh um on a tunnel up there i follow um i also follow okay follow as well okay are you gonna get up a ladder with your walk i can do it
Starting point is 01:02:54 okay um yeah it's like a like a captain america thing where he just attached it to his back his back oh it's like a folding thing that sometimes will just like kind of compress down into a smaller thing and you can just kind of like... Yeah, yeah. They do fold. That also makes puppeting easier if we need to. All right, you all climb the ladder up to a tunnel at the northern end of the room and the tunnel runs either to the west or to the east. It's pretty narrow.
Starting point is 01:03:22 It's only about 10 feet wide. to the west or to the east. It's pretty narrow. It's only about 10 feet wide. Can I hear or perceive if there's like more outdoorsy sounds versus more like drippy undergroundy sounds? Maybe we should use our friend Quill here who uses his sense of hearing very well.
Starting point is 01:03:37 Ah, who's Quill? He's on your head. Oh! Quill says, I wish I could help. There's just way too much sound for me to be able to discern very specifically. Very difficult. I'm going to scout to the west. Okay.
Starting point is 01:03:51 I'll scout to the east. Okay. Since Chip said it first, I'll deal with him first. If you head out to the west, the passage kind of forks. There's a passage to the south, a passage to the north, and it continues to the west as well. Oh, so a total four-way split. More forks over here! To the east,
Starting point is 01:04:07 Barney, the tunnel goes for quite a ways, and then eventually dead-ends either heading north or south. Wait, it doesn't dead-end. Well, it forks. There are no forks over here! But there is a tunnel left and right. Oh, alright.
Starting point is 01:04:24 And so Chip's in the middle of that four-way, and Barney's at the T spot. Correct. Okay. Mateed follows Barney. Oh. Okay, so Barney to the east. And Elga follows Chip.
Starting point is 01:04:36 To the west. Okay. We'll deal with Chip and Elga first, because Chip said he was going to the west first. Elga, you catch up to Chip, and there is a four-way intersection. It's is a, it's like a four-way, it's not quite right, but essentially a four-way intersection. There's a path to the north, a path to the south, and a path to the west.
Starting point is 01:04:55 Well, should we just take this one by one? Yeah. Let's, I guess, yeah, let's start with the west? Yeah, let's keep going west. You head west, and the tunnel proceeds only a little further, and you come across a dead end, and there's a small alcove with a locked, damp chest. Right above the chest is a small metal pipe dripping with water. Got thieves tools.
Starting point is 01:05:17 I could also just smash it. Yeah, what the heck. Go for it. Could I try smashing the lock off with my great axe? Yeah. Make an attack roll. Better not be one of them there mimics. Nat 20, 26.
Starting point is 01:05:28 Ooh, really? Wow. Good hit. Do you want me to roll damage? Yes. Okay, 22. Okay, so it didn't do it the way I would normally do it. So what we're going to do,
Starting point is 01:05:38 so we would take the 10 from there. Then for the second die, it gave you an eight. We're actually going to give you a 12 since you rolled a critical. Okay. So we'll do 22 plus four. It's actually 26 points of damage. Big damage. That you bring down onto the lock on the chest.
Starting point is 01:05:50 Oh, wee. There's nothing fragile in there. Yeah. Which splits open. The lock just like falls off. Open her up. Okay, you go ahead. You open up the chest.
Starting point is 01:06:01 And inside is just a bunch of loot. There's a bunch of coins. There's a bunch of coins, there's a chalice, and a potion. Oh, you and me are splitting this 50-50? Oh yeah, we split the coins 50-50 and then... Yeah, there are a lot of coins. Let me do some quick math here. You guys are going to run back down the hallway
Starting point is 01:06:19 sounding like change, just clattering. We found nothing at all! We'll find a thing! Do you remember early in the episode when we talked about truth? Completely unrelated to this moment. So each of you gets 1,050 copper pieces. Copper. Oh.
Starting point is 01:06:38 750 silver pieces each. Oh, it keeps going. Oh, wow. And 30 gold pieces each. We're going to find something great, Barney, okay? Yeah. And in addition to that, there's a copper chalice that has some silver filigree on it. And a potion.
Starting point is 01:06:55 Do we know what the potion is? Why don't you both roll an arcana check? Let's see if maybe you do know something about this potion. Okay. Ooh, I got plus three to arcana. Still a 10. I have a 12 on that. Rolling like the sewers today.
Starting point is 01:07:07 You think it's perhaps a potion of climbing. Climbing. Ooh. I think Chip, you want this potion and then take the chalice? That sounds like a heck of a deal. All right. Is there any particular thing I should put in my inventory, just like a regular chalice?
Starting point is 01:07:23 Just right. Copper chalice. Metagame-wise, if you want to put this in parentheses or anything, Barbara, it's worth about 25 gold pieces. Okay. And anything else special about it that I should note down? Nah. Is that the end of our thing, or can we continue? Yeah, we'll wrap up with you guys there, and we'll jump over to Matide and Barney.
Starting point is 01:07:47 with you guys there and we'll jump over to uh matide and barney uh you're at the eastern end of this tunnel and there's a passage to the north and a passage to the south do i see anything down either of them uh if you look to the north it also tees going left and right if you look to the south it kind of bends to the left or the south. Yeah, that sounds good to me. It bends. That's kind of creepy. Mateed puts their wing on Barney's back. He goes, I like you. I like you too. You remind me
Starting point is 01:08:15 of birds. You remind me of birds? I like birds. I am so glad to hear that. They're just a giant bird. Yeah, do we see anything down here? So you walk to the south a little bit, and as you begin walking to the south,
Starting point is 01:08:35 to your right, there's like a gap in the wall, and you see like wooden planks creating a platform that head out in that direction. And then continuing south, the path, there are some stairs leading up that curve to the left. Okay. Looking to the right, you said there was like planks? Yeah. I didn't quite get that description.
Starting point is 01:08:51 Yeah. It's like some planks that are making kind of like a walkway. It's very reminiscent of the planks you saw earlier in the cheese room. Yeah. And can we see what's at the end of the walkway? It kind of goes out and then curves to the left. So it's hard to see. I feel like someone's been here before.
Starting point is 01:09:04 We are just going through a labyrinth at this point Yeah Y'all are doing good There are 17 directions to go in Which way should we go? Well, let's follow the curve Up the stairs? No, no, I meant the
Starting point is 01:09:18 The stairs do also curve, I thought you meant the stairs too Okay, up the stairs we go Y'all continue proceeding to the south and there is a curve, a bend in the path and you go meant the stairs too. Oh, okay. Up the stairs we go. Y'all continue proceeding to the south. And there is a curve, a bend in the path. And you go up the stairs around to the left. And eventually it straightens out and goes into a long, straight passage that has a door to the right. A long, straight passage with a door to the right? It's a crooked door stained with water spots
Starting point is 01:09:46 and it seems like it's barely hanging on to its hinges do we have action and left in us to maybe it's it's barely hanging on so is there like a hole it's like on the hinges it's like falling off the hinges basically okay that's what i'm saying is it like is there a gap because of that often if a door is not i see what you're saying i thought you meant like a hole in the door if the door is not fully flush it usually leaves a you're saying. I thought you meant like a hole in the door. No, no, no. If a door is not fully flush, it usually leaves a gap. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Okay, can I look in the gap?
Starting point is 01:10:09 Yeah. Beyond that door, you see a spiral staircase of dank stone steps that seem to be going up. I think we found a way out. Okay. Perhaps we should find
Starting point is 01:10:19 our other compatriots to come join us. Okay. Here's the plan. You stay here and I will go get them. Okay. I'm just going to wander off. Since you're going,
Starting point is 01:10:31 normally at this point, I would switch back to Chip and Elga, but since you're going back to find them, I'm going to continue with you here, Mateed. How do you want to go back and find them? Wait, can I give you my rope? To do what? So we don't get separated.
Starting point is 01:10:42 How long's your rope? Because I think we've walked pretty far quite a distance You know what actually I've changed my I've changed my response Matiqos. I would gladly take your rope I just realized I don't have a rope Wait do I have one maybe I do hold on I want to give you a rope stick out your finger and have them take that instead I don't forgetful characters an easy way to cover up the fact. You don't know anything about your character. I want to give you a rope. Stick out your finger and have him take that instead. Playing a forgetful character is an easy way to cover up the fact you don't know anything about your character. I don't have one either.
Starting point is 01:11:08 I don't have one either. Maybe you just use the fabric of your imagination. I'll be thinking of you. Okay. That sounds wonderful. Mateed walks down and... Back the way you came from? Yeah, but instead of going straight back to Chip and Elga, that passageway that we passed before we went up the stairs,
Starting point is 01:11:25 the plank one, I want to check that out. You peek in there, and there seems to be a precariously constructed bridge made of wood slats overlooking a deep, dark, moist crevice. Maybe it's like an unfinished part of the sewer or something. Is there something at the end of the bridge? Make a perception check. A nine? You know what?
Starting point is 01:11:44 I actually want to see. So I'm actually going to inspiration dice this. Ooh. That's a 15. Oh, okay. About halfway down the bridge, you see a cat and you hear it mewing. Meow. Little cat?
Starting point is 01:11:56 Meow. Yeah. Meow. One more? Meow. Okay. Wait, maybe it's Japanese. Meow.
Starting point is 01:12:03 Meow. Yeah. Yeah. Can I check the bridge? How rickety is this bridge? It's very rickety. Okay. I fly. Oh.
Starting point is 01:12:13 So you fly, what, to the cat? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You take flight and lightly sit yourself down by the cat. It seems to be trying to get away from you, but it seems like it can't get away. Its paw is stuck in one of the slats. No!
Starting point is 01:12:30 It doesn't seem to trust you. It's doing its best to try to get away and create distance between you, but it's just stuck. Oh, use your attack. That's a bonus action. Yeah, Matide tries to do their best to calm the animal and gently wrestle them from their... Why don't we call that animal handling to try to calm the cat?
Starting point is 01:12:52 Yeah, let's do that. Surely you have advantage on this. Why would Matide have advantage on this? Don't need it, 21. Oh, yeah, the cat seems to calm down and not be trying to get away as much and allows you to get close to it. Okay.
Starting point is 01:13:07 Its paw, its right front paw is just stuck in one of the planks. Now, hold on. We're at the end of a bridge. Oh, you're in the middle. This is in the middle. Oh, this is in the middle of the bridge. Cat stuck in the bridge. Yes.
Starting point is 01:13:18 Oh, okay. Meow. Meow. I take the cat from it, and I suppose I probably have some... Can we say I kept a muffin from my bakery? Sure, why not? In my pack. I don't eat, but I kept, you know, I like to keep my wares with me.
Starting point is 01:13:32 People like it. And I give the cat a little bit of a muffin. Yeah, we'll say it nibbles at it. Okay. And we shall name you Muffin. Make a dexterity check for me. This is worrisome. What color cat?
Starting point is 01:13:45 Gray. Oh. First case of all the hour. I shouldn't have used my inspiration dice. I shouldn't have used it. I just rolled a one. Oh, no. I shouldn't have used it.
Starting point is 01:13:53 The cat leaps out of your hands and runs down the bridge further to the south. Not the direction you came from, but down to the south, and then turns a bend in the bridge to the west. Heading towards us? No, we're far from you should i i i'm now feeling john feeling bad that i'm taking the story into my hands i like i like what we're doing it's important but this should be our party's new mission is fighting this damn time i follow the cat because that's what i met but can i i don't i'm not rushing after the
Starting point is 01:14:20 cat is what i want to make there is i'm i'm following it. Because I'm still in a very dark and mysterious place. Before Mateed pursues after the cat, can I do just one more quick check around the room? Another like, because this is bizarre. Yeah, this just seems like perhaps this area was under construction for like sewer expansion. And so it's at the end of a bridge now. And with a bend.
Starting point is 01:14:43 Yes, the center, it kind of makes like an S from where you were, comes down, has a couple of bends in it, and then exits out to the southwest from where you initially entered. Okay, I follow the cat. Yeah, you follow the cat, and you come back into the cheese room, and the cat is pouncing on a rat, killing it. Oh, I love it. I'm delighted by this.
Starting point is 01:15:01 This is fantastic. The rats are scurrying away in fear as the cat is showing its hunting prowess. Mateed loves this. This is fantastic. Loving to see this kind of action. And approaches the cat again with some more muffin. Okay, the cat doesn't run away from you. It knows who you are.
Starting point is 01:15:20 It knows that you're friendly. It does not seem interested in the muffin. It doesn't run away, but it's got a rat, you you know hanging lifeless in its mouth can i check for like a collar yes uh actually it does have a very visible collar so i'm not making you make a perception check it stands out quite clearly it uh it appears to be a leather collar around its neck is there a tag make a perception check for that that. Just because you gotta like dig around in the fur and stuff. Dracula. That's an 11. Yeah, there's a tag.
Starting point is 01:15:50 I presume you want to read it? Yeah, what is it? There's no name on it. It just says, I know what I'm doing. Very interesting. Cool name. Albanian. No spaces. I know what I'm doing. I can't let this cat just go.
Starting point is 01:16:07 I'm so curious about this kitty. You know what they say about what kills the cat? You know what? The lion. Curiosity. I... Are there... There's a whole thing going on here.
Starting point is 01:16:18 Are there still rats anywhere? Yeah, there are still a few, but they seem to be running away in a panic. Can I use my talons to swipe at a rat? Yeah, why not? That's like an attack for you, right? Yeah. Just make an attack roll.
Starting point is 01:16:29 Which actually, I have a talons attack. That's an eight. Yeah, you miss. I miss. Yeah. You know what? I think I have like a bonus action for another attack if I'm making an attack. Go for it.
Starting point is 01:16:40 Okay, then I'm going to do that. That one's better. That one's a 21. Nice. You connect and the rat falls lifeless. I look to see what the kitty thinks of that. The cat is purring. Okay.
Starting point is 01:16:51 Can I motion for the kitty to come in my hands? Sure. Why not? Wait, your talons or your wings? Wings. My hands. Hands. I have hands.
Starting point is 01:16:58 Since you have such a high animal handling check earlier, I'll say you don't have to do that again. Okay. It walks up. Can I try and gently put it in my little pack? Can I put it in my little apron pocket? You do have to make another animal to do that again. Okay. It, like, walks up. Can I try and gently put it in my little pack? Can I put it in my little apron pocket? You do have to make another animal handling check for that. Okay.
Starting point is 01:17:09 You can do it. There's so much riding on this animal. You can't. 13. That's a good roll. Yeah, you try to put it in, but the cat doesn't really want to go in the apron. It's very focused on rats at the moment. It knows what it's doing.
Starting point is 01:17:24 It knows what it's doing yeah can i put it on my shoulder kitties like shoulders could you do like shoulders uh yeah it perches on your shoulder okay man i don't know what to do now but he's gonna adopt this cat whether he likes it or not sure is taking him a long time if i start walking does the cat stay on my shoulder? Yeah, it stays on your shoulder. Okay, I like this. I go to them, to Elga and Chip. And we're just doing one for you. So I follow back, cross the bridge, back through the bend,
Starting point is 01:17:53 and head west to them at their little three-way junction. Okay, yeah, you come back up there, and Elga and Chip Haney are coming from the west. Presumably they've scouted out that area and you meet them at that four-way intersection. I have good news. One, I have a little friend. And two, I think we have found a way out of here.
Starting point is 01:18:14 What's your name, little feller? I said it to the cat. Mat-heed, Mat-oh. Make an animal handling check. Thank you, Elga. Oh, okay. Hey, 17. You can tell that it's purring.
Starting point is 01:18:25 It's got a rat in its mouth, and it seems very content at the moment. Ah, rat mouth. That's what I'll call you. If you want to follow me, I will show you where we found a doorway that seems to be possibly outside. We have two other areas we could explore, but I don't really want to test our luck. What do you think, Elga? Oh, what did you find in your exploration? That is so disappointing we were playing patty cake, yes, I don't understand why you were doing that in this situation boredom
Starting point is 01:19:01 Because of the lack of anything. That's a deception. I want to check on that. That sucks. Make an insight check, then. Okay. And make a deception check for me, Chip. 13. Okay.
Starting point is 01:19:10 Yeah, they were playing patty cake. Well, we see some people get bored when they are in interesting situations. Ooh la la. I see no problem here. Would you like to follow me? Okay. Yes. I mean, if you found a way out, that is what we are trying to find.
Starting point is 01:19:26 So let's go. Yeah, we can take some more kittens. We're right on your tail. It's a nice pun. I like when he says it in character. You have to respond in character. Yeah, let's go join Barney and see what Barney's been doing this whole time. Hopefully Barney's still alive.
Starting point is 01:19:44 Hopefully he remembers you. My name's Barney and see what Barney's been doing this whole time. Hopefully Barney's still alive. Hopefully he remembers you. My name's Barney. Actually, you've been alone. Quill's with you. Oh, right. Yeah, Quill is with him. Huh? What are you even talking? He's just been going, oh! There's voices in this tunnel.
Starting point is 01:19:59 You all head to the east where the tunnel dead ends and head to the south to the stairs that take that bend to the left. Head back up to the north and find Barney sitting outside of the crooked door. Barney, we found treasure. This cat. The cat is a real treasure. That's right.
Starting point is 01:20:18 I didn't find a thing. Oh, that makes three of us. Yeah. So describe what I saw through the door again. Beyond the door, there's a spiral staircase with dank stone steps that seem to be leading upwards. This door's a little rickety. I'll fix it. No, no, maybe don't fix it so we could actually go through.
Starting point is 01:20:38 Well, like, could I open it and then, like, mend the hinge while I open it? With what? Why would you need to? No, no, I'm curious with what. Mending. Oh, you're going to cast spell again. He's an old man. He likes to listen to things. I mean, if you want. So you open the door and use
Starting point is 01:20:54 mending to fix the hinges so that it Okay, yeah. He feels purpose for mending. Absolutely. He wants to help. Yeah, you open it up and the door, now it closes flush. It actually works. And now it's locked forever. You all die of starvation. That's where you get that catch.
Starting point is 01:21:10 Look here. Now it doesn't squeak. That's great. Well, he's like trying to be like a father figure. He wants your approval. Bernie, that's a heck of a job. There he is. I got a squeaky door in my bathroom back at the old homestead.
Starting point is 01:21:25 I might have you take a look at that. I would be happy to. Oh, sounds great. Sounds great, Bart. Mateed opens the door. Okay. Yeah, you open it up, and just like you saw before, those dank stone steps, there it is. The spiral staircase that leads up.
Starting point is 01:21:40 I politely motion for the party to go ahead. As I pass, Matilde, I give the cat a little couple of scritches. Yeah, it doesn't pay you much mind. It's focused on its rat. That's okay. Barney, he heads up, but, you know, stops to admire his work on the way out. So it's Chip, Barney, and then who's third? Elga.
Starting point is 01:22:00 Elga, and then I guess Matilde. I'll bring up the rear. Yeah, so you all take the stone steps. There's water, so it kind of splatters with every step up. You finally reach the top and find a corroded ladder leading up to a sewer cover. Ah, this should be Area 15 directly above here. Oh, how fortunate is this? It's unfortunate.
Starting point is 01:22:19 So many different directions to go and we found it. Look at us. Way to go, team. And nothing else. Oh, God. I've forgotten what Area 15 was supposed to be about. Where Zuzu was being kept. Or hiding out, I guess. The Abrelians, I guess. Are they from there? Area 15
Starting point is 01:22:34 is home almost exclusively to Abrelians. But like I said, be careful. They are very weary of ordies like yourselves. What's an ordy? Ordies? Ordinaries. like yourselves. What's an ordee? Ordees? Ordinaries, like yourselves. Humanoids.
Starting point is 01:22:48 Oh. Well, why don't I go first? Because this little fella's on my head. Well, actually, I have business here to attend to in Area 15. So now that you brought me here, I'll be on my way. What's the, how are we entering into Area 15? Well, you all are still at the bottom, but there's a ladder and a sewer cover up at the top. Okay, yeah, we're coming up through floor. I mean, Quill, could we come out and visit, or are they going to shoo us away?
Starting point is 01:23:12 Oh, you can walk around. Abralians just might not be very friendly. Well, they don't have to be friendly to us, but we'll be friendly to them, eh, gang? Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Nothing but friendly. I'm used to people not being very nice to me and very wary of my friends.
Starting point is 01:23:25 Oh, wait, is that? I don't, you know, maybe it's because I'm a child and people think that I've lost my mother or something. That is so sad. I'm so sad. Wow. Hey, the one good thing about being a child is you grow out of it. Do you have an inspiration, Dianne? How does that make Elga feel?
Starting point is 01:23:52 Oh, it's just very dead inside. But great, thank you, Barney. I can't wait to grow up into a full adulthood. It's so sad. It's so sad It's so sad The party The party is oblivious I assume to any of like this Oh my god
Starting point is 01:24:10 Oh man He's very content with himself Okay Well since this is where We part ways Yes Thank you for all your help Maybe you put in a good word
Starting point is 01:24:19 For the For us with the brilliance Right on it I guess. Can I check on that deception? 20. Yeah, you don't think he's going to. I do nothing about it.
Starting point is 01:24:37 What a nice hat. Can we go up? Yeah. Can we go up? Yeah. You lift the sewer cover and your nose is filled with fresh air and the dampness of rain. It's difficult to say from the rainfall and cloudy skies, but you suspect it's sometime around midday. And the street around you appears to be mostly vacant due to the rain,
Starting point is 01:24:54 save for a winged stranger slouched on the ground outside a shabby entertainment venue with a sign that reads, Fly in saucer. You should probably start there if you want to find Zuzu. And then he takes off down the street. Bye-bye. Yeah. I would just immediately go proceed towards there. Yeah. Drinks on me, gang. I just happened to come across a
Starting point is 01:25:13 recent small fortune. When did you come across that? A while ago. Can I check that? At the parade. You can do an insight check on that, but you gotta make a deception check. At the parade. You can do an insight check on that, but you got to make a deception check. 24. 14.
Starting point is 01:25:29 Yeah, you can tell he's not being forthright with you. Mateed notes this. Okay. So there is this fly-in saucer. Okay. Go in. You walk in, and it's a pretty gloomy pub with candlelit picnic tables along the walls
Starting point is 01:25:43 and a bar with an enormous vat of iridescent blue liquid with chunks floating inside. The vat reaches to the ceiling and looks like it climbs up to the next floor. To the south is the main entrance which you walk through and to the northeast appears to be another door and to the northwest is the stairwell that leads to another door.
Starting point is 01:25:59 And there is a barkeep behind the bar by the vat. I approach the barkeep and I say, Hey, barkeep, can I get four blue drinks? Ocean water? Soda pop. Soda pop. Yes, please.
Starting point is 01:26:15 Four soda pops. The barkeep pours four soda pops and hands them out to you. Four gold. Four gold. That's awesome. Oh, they're expensive. Can I perceive that this is actually how much those things cost? Make an insight check. about to you. Four gold. Four gold. That's awesome. Oh, they're expensive. Uh, can I perceive that this is actually how much those things cost?
Starting point is 01:26:27 Make an insight check. I think he sees we're tourists and he's trying to... Fourteen. Yeah, it's Georgetown. This happened to me in London once. Yeah, you think you're getting the, uh, the non-local price. Okay. How about instead of drinks we ask for information? Hey, I'll give you five if you give us some information
Starting point is 01:26:43 on, uh, a gentleman by the name of Zuzu Top. You looking for Zuzu? That's right. The barkeep sticks out an appendage, almost like requesting the money. Okay, I give him the five gold. He says, All right, tell you what, you've been summoned upstairs. Oh, all right.
Starting point is 01:27:02 Can we have a refund then on the five gold? Oh. Alright, uh... Can we have a refund then on the five gold coins? Uh, I pass out the drinks and I usher the gang up to the stairs, up to the second floor. You climb the creaking wooden stairwell up until you reach the second floor, what appears to be a large attic with the same vat of glowing blue liquid coming through the floor. Barney, these stairs could use some work. Sorry, go ahead. A voice calls from the other side of the vat.
Starting point is 01:27:23 You think you can wallow into Area 51 and I wouldn't know? You peer around the blue vat and find a long table surrounded by a few Abrelians. You recognize one at the head of the table. A slimy green Abrelian with spindly rubbery lips. Let Lizzie explain something to you, Ordes.
Starting point is 01:27:40 We Abrelians look after our own, so you're never gonna find Zuzu? But guess you have something in common with him now. Nobody's going to find you either. Get him, boys. The three Abrilians leap out from their chairs and charge after you. It's an invasion.
Starting point is 01:27:58 Everyone roll initiative. But we're going to have to pick that up next time on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. 20. I rolled a four. We'll redo those rolls because I don't want to write them down right now because I'm going to forget them. But thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back next week with another episode.
Starting point is 01:28:23 Find out what happens. Is Lizzie going to extract her revenge? Will Elga persevere? I don't know. Stop what you're doing before you exit out of this podcast. Go check us out at StinkyDragonPod on social media. For the love of God, please. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst,
Starting point is 01:28:39 written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger with additional editing work by David Saunier. Here's a quick shout out to folks that interacted with us on social media recently. Here's some NPCs named after them in this episode. Chief Inspector Weezer of the Coffs is named after Commander Carl Weezer567 on Reddit and Discord. Quill the nosy Abrelian prisoner
Starting point is 01:28:55 named after at Quillock, aka Quill on Reddit and Discord. Limber Lizzy the Abrelian named after at Lizzy Lindlin on Instagram. Zuzu Top the Abrelian magician named after at the Animal Overlord on Instagram. And of course, the Abrelian Magician, named after at TheAnimalOverlord on Instagram. And of course, I want to give a special thanks to some friends who provided voiceover for characters
Starting point is 01:29:10 in this episode, like Chief Inspector Weezer of the Coffs, voiced by Micah Reisinger, at Micah Reisinger. Quill the Nosy Abrelian Prisoner, voiced by Funhouse's Ryan Haley, at Ryan Game Show. The Alchemist, voiced by BlizzBear, at BlizzBear. Limber Lizzy the Abrelian, Achievement Hunter's Lindsay Jones, at i am lindsay jones tune in next time for another thrilling episode of tales from
Starting point is 01:29:30 the stinky dragonご視聴ありがとうございました

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