Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Betwixt The Bramblecracks - Ep. 67 - Algerock And Roll
Episode Date: October 5, 2022The Infinights explore a strange sanctum in search of the next diagem- complete with self reflection, overbearing acquaintances, AND GREEN FLAME! Follow us on social media: https://linktr.ee/Tales...FromTheStinkyDragon Check our our merch: https://store.roosterteeth.com/collections/tales-from-the-stinky-dragon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This is a Rooster Teeth Production. up our latest liquor, Jubilex Jubilee. It's a mixture of blobka, pseudo-pear liqueur, maple
slurry, split seltzer, and garnished with a dash of nut dreg. One drop of this amorphous moonshine,
you'll be ready to soak up that sun. Or daughter. Previously, our adventurers caught a glimpse into
Mud's miry memories, met his magical mentor, Shaman Zeus.
The shrimpy kajuju sent them on a supply run to procure components to cure Lord Lomish.
After visiting a few vendors at the Herculean hill edge of Morbane, they followed up some clues leading to their first component, the Emerald Stone of Algaroc.
Draw yourself a dram and let's dig into this dank drama yeah dank drama
i don't want to plug another shirts or another, uh, who shows shirt,
but I'm looking at your shirt and it's actually a very nice shirt.
I like that shirt.
Thank you.
It's a black box down shirt.
Uh,
roosterteeth.com.
We've got a lot of good stuff.
Your bad attitude has upset me.
Okay.
We weren't intending to do a plug,
but if you want to listen to a podcast about, uh,
no,
we don't,
we don't,
we want to listen about dragons and stinkies.
We,
we plug tales from the stinky dragon on black box down all the time.
I just did an episode with you guys.
Yeah.
A supplemental episode where we talked about airplanes in movies.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like aviation just...
Blaze is jealous because he hasn't been on in a while.
We haven't had John on.
We haven't had John on in some time.
Yeah, we've had everyone on the cast on.
Yeah, I did one supplemental.
We talked about Castaway.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You were like one of the first ones.
It was a long time ago.
Anyway, that's neither here nor there.
The stone-faced giants look at each other for a moment,
then turn back to face you all.
A word of wisdom.
Speak plainly if you wish to live.
The four giants jump into the pool with a deafening splash.
The pool quakes, ripples, and begins to bubble with green foam
until a crystalline monolith shoots up out of the pool, glowing emerald green.
It towers high over you, nearly touching the ceiling,
and with each passing second appears to be getting larger.
No, wait, not larger. It's getting closer.
The emerald tower falls forward straight toward you all and lands with a loud smack.
On us or next to us?
A feminine voice echoes in your heads.
It sounds familiar.
Is it mine?
Forswear all fabrications, for falsities will fail.
A mandate for mementos may make for milder trails.
Preparing of reflections will reassure retreat.
Forbear all brisk behavior, or be brave to take a beat.
Sorry, I wasn't recording.
One more time.
It's a little lower.
It said something about
force wear all fabrics.
Gum-Gum, quick,
take all your clothes off.
Okay.
Gum-Gum takes his clothes off.
There was something about mirrors.
Repair reflections.
Yeah.
Who is that girl I see
staring straight back at me?
Boy, didn't Sleek have a mirror?
He sure did. Quick, we have to go back to
Herb Bloom.
I mean, we did just do
Pie's Pass again, and so if history is repeating
itself, Herb Bloom is next. And that was a
time trial thingy.
It was. We figured out
your clues.
Suck it, Micah and Gus!
All right, well, thanks for listening, everybody.
We'll be back next week with a...
No, you all are no longer in the location you were before.
You all look around, and you've arrived in a large room made of stone tiles.
Looking around, it looks like it contains pews, some relics, and a door to the north.
Also, there was these big towers in Urbloom.
The, like, Glocken Tower and all those things.
And a tower just fell.
So, Kyborg runs at the door, full speed, shoulder charging, leading to bust down the door.
Okay, make an athletics check.
Here we go, here we go.
I like action, I like action.
Twelve.
You bounce off the door and fall back on the floor on your butt.
I'm glad I did that.
Can I go try to open the door?
Yeah.
Bart, you walk up to the door and you give it a jiggle, but it does appear to be locked.
Ah.
My door don't jiggle jiggle.
It locks.
So, wait.
We're in basically a church like environment at Pew's stone room
You said you said there's pews and relics. Yeah
Looks like all those things
And it seems like everything this room is lit by flickering green flamed candles around the room and her bloom loved green
Yeah, everything appears to be in disrepair in here. Are we going in here?
Where did the bomb go off?
Our voices are echoing?
Yeah, sure.
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh.
Stop.
Is it?
It's not the same place.
No, wait.
Where did the bomb go off with Quadrant?
That went off in the library.
Uh.
Oh.
Library.
Yes, yes.
It was the library.
Just can't goose and that kind of thing.
Yes, yes.
Okay.
Does it look familiar to Mudd, this place?
That was a dilapidated library.
Make a, what is it?
Can we say is there a religion?
Make a religion check.
Yeah, John, make a religion check.
Make a religion check.
Hey, I know a lot about religion, even if I don't care for it.
19, told you.
Wow.
You can definitely tell this is some type of room related to a deity,
but the deity being worshipped or the specific religion is not known to you.
But you do notice some specific religious artifacts,
such as a tablet and what appears to be a drum
that's most likely used in some kind of religious ceremony.
Are there dumbbells?
Cord?
Is that you, our lord?
No dumbbells.
Can I go check the tablet?
Yeah, from where you are, the tablet is just on the other side of the pews,
kind of a little closer to the northern end of the room.
Near the door?
Almost to the door, like 15 feet from the door or so.
Like a lectern. The tablet's on top of a lectern.
That's a word, right?
Yep.
Yeah, I got the thumbs up from Micah.
There's a dusty stone tablet with some symbols carved into the front.
The symbols appear to be an open mouth and a key.
It's a Gen 1 iPad.
Wait, so it's just got two symbols on it.
One's an open mouth and one's a key?
Yeah.
All right, the tablet has got an open mouth and a key.
What's this mean to y'all?
I shove my hand into Gum-Gum's mouth.
No, no, you're not a key.
Shush, shush, shush, shush.
Do I find anything?
Which check is he going to roll for this, Gus?
Make a medicine check.
Yeah, it's a medicine check because it's dentistry.
Okay.
Six.
Not a good dentist.
No, there's lots of teeth in there.
All of them appear to be firmly rooted.
Good news, GumGum, you don't have any loose ones.
Thank you.
You're going to want to check out those lunch notes, though.
Can I, like, tell if this room seems familiar at all?
Like, if I remember seeing this?
It wasn't to me, but is it to Bart?
You could make a wisdom check, like familiar.
Like, trying to see if you remember anything about it.
You made me do a religion check for that.
A history?
Well, you were trying to investigate.
If I knew what this room was.
It's not specifically related to a day.
Yeah, no, no, no. Go wisdom. Yeah, go wisdom. It's not specifically related to. I'm just trying to see. No, no, no.
Go wisdom.
Yeah, go wisdom.
Wisdom.
Wisdom check.
I just feel like there's double standards in this party.
Well, everyone phrases questions a little differently.
Really?
You're like high on wisdom, aren't you?
I have a, my wisdom is 16, so it's not super high, but I rolled a three.
That's a six.
No, nothing about this rings a bell.
Is there anything under the pews or
in the pews? Within the pews.
Within the pews.
Make a, what would that be? An investigation check on the pews,
I guess. Pew pew. Three.
It's a solid roll today.
No.
There's some very friendly spiders.
Is there anything
around the room that is like something with a mouth, like a statue or a gargoyle or something like that?
Now that you mention it, on either side of the door to the north are large stone statues.
They appear to be like in a prayer position with their hands over their mouths.
Two of them?
Yes, one on either side of the door.
And the tablet has
mouth and key? Correct.
An open mouth and a key. Okay.
Well, I checked the left mouth.
That's my mouth.
Well, they said they had the pray
hands over the mouth, right? Correct.
So you...
Like, prayer hands clasped in prayer
over the mouth? Is there a way to go around the prayer hands?
Oh yeah.
Are there like joints or anything?
Well, no.
Is the mouth agape or closed?
Closed.
Oh.
Is there writing on the statues?
Hold on.
Let me, let me finish up with John.
He was, he was doing something.
Then, then, then if it's closed, then I will, I will mimic the, the position it's in.
Like you walk up to it and mimic it or you mimic it from?
No, yeah, yeah.
I go up to it and whatever position it's in of whatever this closed hand prayer position is.
Yeah, Barbara's motioning patty cake with it.
Gum Gum does the same.
With the other one?
Yeah.
Okay, so right and left, that's where we are.
I go up and I mimic them and I say, hey, Bart, look at me.
Bart just shakes his head.
Valid.
Children.
You walk up to them and mimic them.
And the two stone statues seem to come alive.
Oh, shoot.
He was right.
One of them looks.
Oh, dang it.
Mud figured it out.
One of them looks directly at Mud and asks,
What is your favorite quality about Algaroc?
It's coarse.
Eee.
God, it's just been TikTok memes all day today for this.
I can't stop.
It's obviously the humidity.
The humidity?
Yes.
Okay.
Were you not expecting that answer?
No, no, no. That's what the walkie said.
He said, oh.
That's exactly
the right answer to this riddle.
I wasn't sure, like, the way you said it,
I wasn't sure if you said humidity or humility.
That's why I was like, humidity?
Let's just say mud, like, mumbled it enough so you could take it both ways.
The statue punches you
and pushes you away from the door.
That wasn't the answer.
Next one.
I think Gum-Gum's up next, right?
Yeah.
He is doing that.
But which statue talked to me?
You said you went up to the one from you're facing it on the left.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So from your perspective facing north, the one on the left, which is the one on the west.
So the one I was in front of.
Correct.
Okay.
I step back and let someone else take a try.
Yeah.
So it pushes you like 10 feet back away from the door,
kind of close over by the drum.
Gum, gum.
Oh, oh.
So you walk up, the statue that's there asks you,
what is your favorite quality about Algaroc?
What is your favorite quality about Algaroc?
It slams you and pushes you 10 feet back.
From where you are, you go kind of past the lectern wait?
It's you my new friend, and I go run back you run back. Yeah, I think we let someone else take a try
I'll draw we're gonna let's smart this out. We looking for like an emerald and yes, I'll draw emerald yeah
While Bart kneels down for their turn I start start playing the drum. You strike the drum?
Yeah.
Make a constitution saving throw.
Okay.
This drum is about to make me sick.
What did we learn about Al-Durak?
That they have loose drug laws.
Oh, yeah.
Constitution check.
Big old fat 21.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
You strike the drum and you feel like a weird energy go through all of your body and your limbs.
And it becomes very difficult
to move for a second but then it passes.
I don't think we're supposed to be playing this drum.
In the poem it said be brave
to take a beat. Maybe that
has something to do with the drum. Maybe I was supposed to get.
Were you going to kneel down and do something Bart? Sure.
Bart kneels down
and puts his hands over his mouth
in the pray hands position. Are you still
by the pews? Yes.
Is it very confident?
Yes, I'm just confirming.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I don't know if I guess I don't know if I'm allowed to like answer the question from there
or if I have to be closer, but I will kneel where I am by the pews.
Okay.
You kneel where you are by the pews and pray.
Is there any specific prayer you say?
Or you just like kneel your hands and appear to be praying?
Like that's what I used to do when I went to church.
Yeah, I do that because I don't actually know any prayers.
So I just do it and I close my eyes to pretend to be saying something in my own head.
Okay.
But he does the thing where he's, like, opening one eye to, like, see if anything's reacting.
Nothing appears to happen as a result of your prayer.
Here's what I do.
I go over and I pick up Bart.
In the same position.
In the same position.
And I place Bart in front of the statue that was talking to us.
Oh, you like my magic trick.
Which one?
The one to the west or the east?
Why do you say that?
If the door is north.
Like you spoke to the one facing, the one closest to the west, John.
Oh, but he talked to the east one?
He talked to the east one.
Okay, let's go to the west one.
West one.
Yeah, because remember when I said they slammed you, it's the one slammed you closer to the east he talked to the east okay let's go to the west one west one yeah because remember when i said they slammed you it's the one slammed you closer to the drum
john and the one that slammed gum gum slammed him closer to the lectern okay okay um the stone
statue opens its eyes and looks at you bart hello and asks how long have you been a devoted worshiper
of algerock all my life that's a lie make Make a charisma saving throw. That was not in Mudd's voice.
So I said that as John.
Oh, man.
15.
You say that, and you feel like you get a giant splitting headache.
You take one point of psychic damage.
Nah, it's not bad.
Okay.
I had some resistance.
I think it was necrotic.
Necrotic, yeah.
Yeah, I have resistance to psychic damage from their hot spring.
But it doesn't push me back or anything like that?
No.
Okay.
I'll approach the other one that Bart didn't talk to, the other one.
And then I'll kneel and pray and all that stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
You get asked.
What is your favorite quality about Aljaroc?
Aljaroc's a part of the Bayou, right?
The Bayou.
Okay.
Do me a favor, Blaine.
Make me a history check. 18.
You remember that Al-Jarok is not a location.
Al-Jarok is a deity.
Al-Jarok is the deity.
Oh.
It's humidity.
That's why I was so confused when he said humidity.
In hindsight, it's funny.
Where are we? Mor a more Bane?
You're in the wither veins
But by you is yes one area then you left there to go to the more Bane
Which is where the trolls and Giants were and then you went a little out of the more Bane to go to the waterfall
Okay, okay the god of we learned a rock
What your ring?
You got a magic ring. It's kindness. My ring?
You got a magic ring.
It's a rock.
I don't know.
What?
Aljaroc is a god.
I know.
He's the god of, like, rock, apparently.
So just say something nice about him. Yeah, um.
Maybe that he's, like, kind or generous.
I like the stones on that, Aljaroc.
Yeah.
He rocks.
Aljaroc rocks.
Woo!
And then I put up the metal hand- the signs.
Woo!
With your metal hand?
Describe that.
Hook'em horns.
Yeah, it's hook'em horns.
You put the ring finger and the middle finger down,
and then you clasp the thumb over them.
While also having the pinky and index finger extended.
There you go.
And then you wave it.
And you put your third and fourth finger down.
In the air.
And then you say, I am Doctor Strange.
No, Doctor Strange actually is that.
I'm out.
I'm out.
Okay, all right. So you say, Spider-Man, you admire, Doctor Strange is actually that. I'm out. I'm out.
So you said you admired the stones on him.
Was that correct?
Yeah.
I like rocks.
I like he rocks.
Gus is trying to decide if he wants to be nice or not.
I'm trying to decide if that's an appropriate answer or not.
It's rock related.
The statue rubs its chin for a second and asks a follow-up question.
Name a time in your life when Aldraok demonstrated this quality to you.
I think I know what I want to do if you fail.
I think I do too.
Have we encountered any sort of rock?
We haven't.
Be honest.
Yes, be honest. haven't. Be honest.
Yes, be honest.
Be truthful.
Be truthful.
Okay.
Hmm.
I have not felt the demonstration of this, but I have heard tell of Aljorock's rock-heartedness.
Oh, God.
I nailed it.
And this stone temple.
Wow.
Look at it.
Made of rocks to exalt Aljorock, wow, look at, hoo boy.
Bart's doing the motion of like, speed it up.
I'm so bad at this.
And the followers of Algaroc are all kind people with rock themed jobs and hobbies.
And then I put my thumbs up and I say, very good.
You're so bad at this.
Listen, it's the morning.
I thought it was really good.
The statue says,
your honesty is appreciated.
Okay, there we go.
And it moves aside and the door unlocks.
You're welcome.
That was the statue's way of saying,
you're honestly stupid.
Just go ahead.
Yes. You know what? You're stupid. Just go ahead. Yes.
You know what?
You're trying.
I dust off my hands.
I say, easy as that, guys.
Nailed it.
All right.
So I walked down the path that he just cleared.
The door's open.
You walk right through.
Okay.
Walk right through.
We follow.
As the rest of the party attempts to follow, the statues step in the way and block.
Bart, you said it first.
Okay.
So it asks.
Hello again.
What's your favorite hymn
you like to sing to Al Jorok?
I have never sang a hymn
to Al Jorok yet,
but someday if I ever meet Al Jorok,
I would love to sing a tale
because I love singing.
Sing us that song
you would sing now.
Oh.
Ah!
I want to alter rock all night
And party every day
I want to alter rock all night
And party every day
Throwing some metal in there.
Your adulations are...
Algerations?
Your adulations are appreciated, little one.
The statue steps aside and the door is unlocked.
And Bart walks through.
Bart walks through.
All right.
Kyborg and Bart have successfully walked through the door.
Mud and Gum-Gum are still in the large stone room.
Mud motions for Gum-Gum to proceed.
Let's go.
And I do the pray thing.
Am I allowed to sing songs that are kind of technically existing properties?
It's a satire or parody.
We barely ever sell ads on this show.
It's not like we're making money off of it.
Go buy our merch.
By the way, please.
We need you to buy our merch.
And listen to our show.
We say to the people currently listening to our show.
Gum Gum, you said you walked up.
Yeah.
The statue looks at you and asks,
What did you bring today to offer to Aljaroc?
My humility.
Is there anything else you wish to offer to Aljaroc?
I dig around in my bag.
You got plenty of stuff, my dude.
Yeah, I know.
I'm looking.
I wasn't prepared for an offering.
I guarantee you have some rocks.
I do.
Oh, man.
I wish I bought that.
I don't
know if algerock is a deity of rocks come on it is too oh i have some rock candy you have rock
oh yeah you do have rock you had that forever yeah i give him some rock candy boom chris is
the opposite of me in keeping track of his inventory he keeps track of it so well i like
i said i think an episode ago i have no idea what's in my inventory at this point.
I haven't kept track of anything.
If you don't know, then it's not in there.
The statue takes your offering and says,
You may proceed.
Thank you.
I open the door for Gum-Gum and I say,
Taste it.
I want to see you taste it.
Try Num-Nums.
I kneel down on the left one, the west.
It asks you,
How long have you been a devoted worshiper of Algaroc?
Zero years.
Why have you not become a follower?
I just learned the name of this dude like five seconds ago.
The statue steps aside and says,
You have much to learn. Proceed.
So do you.
And I walk through.
He slams you across the room.
Okay. Yeah. You all leave that room. Sorry. Anytime there there's a new room i just need to load it up here what's the loading screen for stinky
dragon look like it's a like a dragon with the stink lines that are like filling in from bottom
to top yeah and then it goes down yeah that's exactly what it is what are the tips? When finding furniture, put it in your bag. If you find a door, see if it's open.
Tip, always go left.
Okay.
You all walk through a passageway.
It's about 10 feet wide, 40 feet long.
And you enter another stone tile chamber that's about 50 by 30
that appears to be brightly lit by a large brazier in the center of the room.
Again, blazing with green flames.
It's pronounced brazier.
Thank you.
There are three chests to the west and a glowing archway to the east.
All right, so if the last place is any indicator,
maybe we find the key, and then that key gets this to go through the archway.
Can I investigate the archway?
Yeah.
It's a stone archway that's glowing green.
Seems to head off to the east, down another
hallway. And you can see through it? There's no door?
Yeah, you can see through it, down the hallway.
And there's nothing, like, around the archway?
No, like, runes or signs or text
or anything? No, it's just
the archway itself is just glowing green. That's the only thing
that seems to really stand out about it.
And then there's someone's chest? There's three chests?
There's three chests and a brazier in the middle of the room.
Can we go check those out?
Let's look at the brazier first.
Oh, that's above us?
In the middle of the room.
Middle of the room, on the ground.
On the ground.
So just in general, do you all want to investigate?
Yeah, I'll go with Bart.
Okay.
I just want to make sure because he had said it first.
Oh, sorry.
No, that's fine.
You all walk up to the brazier,
and it's a stone brazier that's burning with a dazzling green flame.
Bart and Gum Gum
make a perception check.
Perceiving.
Wow. 19.
14. Both of you notice as you get close
to it that it does not seem to be giving off
any heat. Touch it.
And also, Bart, you notice
that etched into the base
is a symbol.
It's two hands holding a heart.
Two hands holding a heart.
Okay.
I'm going to take Gum-Gum's heart out.
Is there anything that we could, like, open on this thing?
I guess I don't know what a brazier is.
It's an open bonfire kind of thing.
Yeah.
Like, imagine if you watch Game of Thrones and they're, like, lighting a big room and
there's, like, a fire and, like, a metal bowl.
Okay.
Like that kind of thing.
Did you put your name into the cup of the fire? That's what I was thinking.
Okay, cool. Bart
grabs Gum Gum's hand
and holds his hand and sticks
their hands holding together into the
fire. Aw, Barbara just punched her laptop
trying to do it.
Boom. In character, love it.
Sorry, ignore that roll. I clicked something accidentally.
No, that roll counts. What was it? Yeah. Perception
checked for 24.
You grasp hands with Gum-Gum and put your hands into the brazier.
And Gum-Gum seems to be immediately engulfed, consumed by the green flames.
He seems to disappear.
And Bart, once he disappears, you begin glowing with green flame as well.
Oh, no.
What have I done?
Gum-Gum?
I don't feel so good. Mr. I done? Gum-Gum? I don't feel so good.
Mr. Bart.
So Gum-Gum's gone. Bart's on fire? Yes, but you don't
feel any pain. You just feel like Bart appears
to be glowing with these green flames.
Cyborg tackles Bart
to put out the flame, to pat it out.
Starts hitting him.
Stop, drop, and roll.
You don't seem to be able to extinguish the flames.
Start hitting him harder.
Can we still hear gum gum?
No.
Okay.
So what was that?
I think I missed where the heart was.
It was like two hands holding a heart on the...
Itched into the base of the brazier.
Yeah, on the base.
Could I...
Maybe we have to put something we love into the fire?
Well, there's the chests.
That's also not... Yeah. So Bart's on fire love into the fire. Well, there's the chests. That's also not.
Yeah.
So Bart's on fire and fine.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm glowing green.
Yes.
And Gum Gum.
No pain.
Gum Gum engulfed in fire and then disappeared.
And gone.
I want to check the chests.
Anything on the chests, around the chests?
Uh, there are three of them and they all seem to be made of different material and they
all have different symbols
etched into them okay they're on the west side of the building yeah then they're stacked from
north to south there's one of one to the north one in the middle and one to the south let's let's
let's hear those mats and uh and and symbols starting from the north to the south yes please
okay the one at the north uh it's a pristine alabaster chest with symbols etched into the top.
It appears to be three hands in the shape of a clover.
The one in the middle is a gritty sandstone chest,
and the symbols that are etched into the top are a pair of eyes looking at a question mark.
And the third one to the south is a smooth marble chest.
The symbol that's etched into the top is a hand holding jewels.
Jesus, that's so confusing.
to the top is a hand holding jewels Jesus that's so confusing
um I
check
to see if the
sandstone one
is unlocked and openable
uh you try to open up the chest
and it appears to be locked
um I
so then the other one was the
clover and then the bottom one had what symbol
on it it was like something
hand holding jewels yeah do I have any jewels So then the other one was the clover, and then the bottom one had what symbol on it? It was like something...
Marble holding jewels.
Hand holding jewels, yeah.
Do I have any jewels?
Didn't you guys get jewels from the dude?
We got rings.
Also, I'm not here.
I got a ring, too.
You got rings.
The ghost of Gum-Gum.
I used my ring and hand to try to open up that one.
The one that's got the handful of jewels.
You use the hand with the ring.
What ring is it again?
It's the ring of haven't added to my inventory yet.
Mind shielding.
Nope, added it.
The chest does not appear to open.
Hey, Bart, you want to try one of these chests with your new little...
Now that I'm glowing on fire.
...touch powers?
Flame on.
Sure.
Bart gives it a
shot there's actually a dc character which one fire that uh which one's the same one that uh
yeah you try to open it and the chest appears to be locked okay try them all try them all i'll try
the other two as well i'll lock maybe if you check his glowing green flame and then that archway is
also glowing green like maybe if you want to walk through you might have some sort of protection.
Okay. Yeah, I'll try going
through the archway. You walk
through the archway and
once you pass through, the green flames around
you converge into a single point
in front of you and then
reform into Gum-Gum.
Gum-Gum! I exist!
I missed you so much! Where were you,
Gum-Gum? I didn't know I was gone!
Did you die?
From Gum Gum's perspective, no time passed.
It was like instant.
Oh.
So wait, so Bart's in the archway with Gum Gum now?
Yeah, they are now through the archway in the passageway.
On the other side of it?
Yeah.
What's on the other side?
Yeah, can we look around?
From your perspective, it's a really long hallway, about 100 feet long maybe?
Then it's hard to see down because it's dimly lit.
Okay.
Should we just go investigate?
Or wait for them?
Yeah, let's resolve us in this room.
Split the party.
No.
Split the party.
Well, then, I mean, you guys probably have to set yourself on fire too.
Yeah, but I want one of these chests too.
I know.
But I can't open them.
We could come back, right?
I stick my butt up to the fire and I rip a fart.
That's my action.
The flame kind of blows away from the burst of air,
but does not burst into any greater flame or anything.
Interesting, interesting.
There's a, so there's a brazier, there's the archway,
and then there's a three chest.
Three chests have those symbols on them, but they're unopenable.
And there's nothing else in the room that we can see that has any other guidance.
Not that you can tell so far.
Okay, well, can I check the room for any other guidance?
I just do a nice little lap around the room.
Yeah, make an investigation check.
God, I would love some sort of bonus to intelligence checks.
11. Not a good one.
That's another loading screen tip.
Invest points in intelligence.
Yeah, I have.
Actually, that's why I am no longer negative.
Yeah, you look around the room and investigate as much as you can.
And there doesn't appear to be anything else in this room, other than, of course,
the hallway you walked in from as well. If I may.
I smack Kyborg's butt.
Oh. And see if Kyborg wants to
do a chat. Uh, well,
okay, sure. I had an idea.
What am I doing? Insight? Investigation.
To investigate around the room. And that's a
my roll plus what? A d4.
Nine. Is that even after the d4? Sorry,
that's an eight plus two, ten.
So worse than me. Uh, no.
Okay, so the one chest had a
hand... With shape of a clover.
Holding jewels. No, it's a different one. Yeah.
Uh, I go up to that one because I got the diagem
in my arm and I fiddle with it.
Uh, no, it does not seem to be
unlocked. It is still locked. Okay.
Maybe I do a sleight of hand check, huh? Maybe I try
to break into this thing with my lockpicking kit.
Is there a lock? Yeah, is there a lock?
Yes, you can see a lock.
Okay, then I'll give it a go? Yeah, make your
lockpicking check. 16.
Nice. Okay, yeah, you open it up.
You and Mud are standing there looking
at it, and both of you make a
dexterity saving throw. Cool.
Something's shooting at us. Is there more
fire? That's 11.
24. Was it check or save?
Save. You did a check. Oh, did he?
Yeah. Who? Me? You did. Yeah.
Kyborg. Still, he rolled a 19
plus one. It's still, it's a 20. Yeah.
Thank you, Barbara. You're welcome.
Sorry to ouch you. Teacher's pet.
No, it's all right. The chest opens
up and begins, like, sucking
in at the air and
Any items mud that you have on you that do not belong to you get sucked into the into the chest
What do I have that I don't doesn't belong to me? We stole some stuff from Pies Pass. I didn't take any of it
What I guess we did
Rubo and I stole
Yeah, if I did I don't know what it was
Well, then no big loss then.
Okay.
Well, I jump into the fire.
I jump into that green fire.
I jumped into the burning green fire.
Yeah, you jump in and you feel the green flames encircle you,
but they give no damage.
They give off no heat, and you're just standing there in the brazier.
Cool.
Ah, guys, I've gone super saiyan.
Ah.
What are you going to do with it?
Ah!
I run through the archway.
Ah!
Well, just to be clear, when you step out of the brazier,
the flames are no longer around you.
Farts.
You tried.
Okay, well, what did Gum Gum and Bart do that held hands?
They held hands.
Come here, hold my hand.
Sure.
I want to do it a little differently.
I grab Kaiborg's head with both my hands.
Just like that whole like...
Now kiss.
Like the whole like, yeah, the whole we're about to kiss kind of thing.
But instead, I just take it and I just push his head into the fire with my hands around his head.
And I make just a scream, just a terrible gurgling scream.
You grab Kaiborg's head like a pumpkin and stick it into the fire.
And his head catches fire.
What about me? No, nothing. Oh, my hands don't do anything? Your hands, when they're in the fire. And his head catches fire. What about me?
No, nothing.
Oh, my hands don't do anything?
Your hands, when they're in the fire, yes.
They're also covered in the fire.
Okay, I pull my head out.
And it's on fire?
No.
Fudge.
No, you don't pull your head out until I say you pull your head out.
Strength check.
I'm going to do a strength check.
Okay, strength check.
What's it called when bullies would, like, put someone's head in the toilet?
Swirly.
Swirly.
This is like a fire swirly.
Not a great throw, but something worth trying to fight against.
20.
Okay.
My neck is so powerful, you don't even know.
Your traps are just flexing.
That's right.
How about we hold hands and do the exact same thing?
Okay.
Okay.
We hold hands, put hands in.
Do you want to do a ring around the Rosie on the fire?
Yeah, we do that.
Okay.
So you hold hands and step into the brazier? No, do the hands into the fire. Yeah, we do that. Okay. So you hold hands and step
into the brazier? No, do the hands
into the brazier. We try to mimic basically
what they do. You hold hands and stick
your hands into the brazier. And while
your hands are in the brazier, they are engulfed
in the green flame. But we don't do the disappear thing?
No. What's so special about Gum Gum?
I run through the archway.
Just no flames. Just run
through the archway.
Make a dexterity saving throw.
24.
Nice.
The only thing worse than figuring out part of a puzzle
is that we don't know how we figured it out.
Kyborg, you run through the archway
straight at Bart and Gum-Gum, who are in the path.
And as soon as you pass through the archway, you're immediately teleported back inside the brazier.
How about this?
I try this.
I try this.
Magic.
Since I can't figure out how to do this puzzle I cast control flames
And also just a quick reminder
In the little poem
We heard earlier
This next line is a mandate for mementos
May make for milder trails
For mementos make for mild trails
I don't know
But maybe we have to do something with a mementos.
Bart and Gum-Gum have history together.
I'm sure you're really giving us some insight there.
All right, so you cast control flames?
Yeah.
Okay, what do you want to do with it?
Oh, wait.
Actually, this is a good thing.
You choose non-magical flame.
Is this magical flame?
I can answer that by saying
whenever you try to do anything to it,
it doesn't seem to have any effect.
Okay, so it's magical flame.
So nothing happens.
That's fine.
It's a cantrip.
What if you carry it over to the archway?
Gungo had...
Chris had an idea.
I'd actually hear it.
There's three hands in shape of a clover.
Yeah.
I could make you a clover.
It's always back to flowers.
Yeah, do it.
I think that that's a symbol for luck, but...
Yeah, so did I, but I just...
I like the idea of going back to the chest, though.
Kyborg, what if we go back to the chest
and we try to make a little clover symbol
with three of our hands?
Okay.
We do that in front of the chest, or on the chest.
Which hand do you use?
My natural hand.
Which hand do you not use?
The fake hand.
The golem hand.
Yeah, you clasp your hands and do your best to try to mimic the symbol carved into the top of the chest.
Yep.
And nothing seems to happen.
Okay.
After holding it for five seconds, then I just flip off the chest.
That's gonna come back to bite you.
It's fought.
He's angry.
Okay.
Maybe make us a clover.
All right. I make a flower clover appear.
It gums dirt.
Could you do it with dirt that I pull out of my pocket and put in my hand?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay. So Gum-Gum makes a clover appear in the dirt in Mud's hand.
And I proceed to push the clover towards the chest and maybe touch it with it.
Maybe or definitely?
Definitely.
Okay. Yeah, you do that and nothing seems to happen. over towards the chest and maybe touch it with it uh maybe or definitely definitely okay uh yeah
you do that and nothing seems to happen i love i love guz asking questions that will have no effect
well the thing is you have to ask questions that have no effect that way when you ask questions
that have effect you don't know one way or another has it been long enough that i can do another like
uh could i do another like round around the room and and do another check throw the clover into the
fire what the heck i throw the clover in the fire. What the heck? I throw the clover into the fire.
Oh man, you really
didn't care about that clover at all, huh?
He throws in the fire with love.
I kissed it.
I kissed the little clover.
You do like dirt too. I love dirt.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Clover and dirt goes in the fire.
Without a care in the world
you toss the dirt and the clover
into the fire. Yeah, they
sit there, engulfed in green flame.
And then you
said you wanted to do another investigation check around the room? Yes,
please. Go ahead. I smacked my booty too this
time. Smacked my booty. Oh,
yeah. Nope, I'm gonna get even a little
bit more. I want more juice. Give me the juice.
The corn juice.
20. Give him the stick. Don't give him
the stick. Oh give him the stick oh
yeah you know based on having spent a little bit of time in this room and uh five years now
you know and and your previous investigation you're a lot more focused this time around
looking throughout the room and you don't turn up anything you nothing really stands out out
of the ordinary there's the chandelier above us.
It's also green flame.
No, there's no chandelier.
There's a braze.
I thought there was just a braze.
Maybe you should try putting something you care about in the flame.
I put myself in there.
I put dirt.
Something you actually care about.
I get gumbo out, and I put gumbo in the flames.
Oh, my God!
Gumbo becomes...
Becomes.
Becomes.
Gumbo is engulfed in green flames,
and then disappears out of existence.
And I go through the archway.
Yeah, then John becomes covered in green flame.
Where's John? Who's John?
Sorry, Mud becomes covered in green flame.
There's a stranger in this room!
Walks through the archway
and reunites with Bart and Gum-Gum.
And as you walk through the archway,
all the green flames around you
focus into a single point
and Gumbo reappears in your hands.
God put something you care about in the flame.
And Mud stands there and goes, first try.
I pull out the longbow of crystallina,
and I put it into the flame.
It becomes engulfed in flames
and then disappears from existence.
And then you become covered in green flames.
And then I look at those chests.
I hate leaving unanswered.
It was like when those trees were dancing around
with the aurochs
and we never understood what that was.
I was going to ask, could Gumbagum and I have taken a long rest by now?
It's like me and Kyborg in that room and there's the Spongebob like,
five years later.
All right.
It's like me and Kyborg in that room and there's the Spongebob like five years later.
Gumgun's been marking days.
Well, I mean, a long rest is like eight hours.
So I'm going to say it wasn't that long.
Okay, okay.
I do touch one of the chests while I'm on fire.
Which one?
Sandstone.
Sandstone.
That's the middle one.
Yeah.
Yeah, you touch it and nothing seems to happen. Okay you you're right bart touch them all lick them all with
your fiery tongue yeah i lick them all with my fiery tongue nothing seems to happen okay i run
through the archway uh yeah you go through and then as you pass through the flames focus down
to a single point and reform into the boa of crystallina. I catch it and I say Mom!
So just to be clear, Barbara, you said I ask questions that don't make sense.
When Mud threw the clover
into the fire, I specifically asked
oh, you just throw it like you don't care about it.
He said no, I don't care about it.
So that's why sometimes I do ask questions.
See the mementos.
You put a memento on the fire, something you care about,
something that meselots you, and then it makes for milder trails.
That's their conversation.
They were trying to see if gum gum matters to Bart.
That was it.
It was like, because it wasn't quite in the spirit of the trap.
I was like, I kind of like this, though.
I love that.
To be fair, I went in there, and I said I love myself,
and I was hugging myself.
I had to think about that.
I really did.
I gave that a lot of consideration. Although, then how would you, yeah, I guess. I I was hugging myself. I had to think about that. I really did. I gave that a lot of consideration.
Although then how would you?
Yeah, I guess.
I would just teleport myself.
What would disappear is his self-confidence and love.
Yes.
Wait, that left me years ago.
We're in the dark hallway.
Yeah, so you're in the hallway and it extends about 100 feet to the east.
Then off in that direction, you can see some glowing green light.
I turn to Gum-Gum and I go,
Grace, you...
All right, before you finish it,
I'm already bolted.
We run.
Okay, you begin running
and you enter like an atrium of sorts.
It's lit by green-flamed candles on the wall,
and hanging on the far eastern wall is a mirror,
but it appears to be cracked and missing pieces of glass.
But who gets the atrium first?
Both of you make an athletics check.
That's a nat 20, 22.
Let's see.
You can gum-gum do it.
15.
I rolled a six.
Mud, you beat him there.
My legs are longer after all.
A big boy. Yeah. What are you, eight feet? Yeah. Mud's legs are longer after all. A big boy.
Yeah.
What are you, eight feet?
Yeah.
Jeez, 300 pounds.
What was the part of the poem riddle that is like reflections?
Repairing of reflections.
Repairing of reflections.
All right.
I mean, we probably have to fix this mirror.
Mud goes to the mirror and goes, Oculus Reparo.
What were you saying, Cubber?
I look around the room and see if i can find any pieces of glass mud looks at the mirror and when you look at the mirror
you see like a greenish reflection of yourself aren't i green like like the the light itself
almost is green because of the the green in the room and uh you know you lock eyes with your uh
mirrored version uh and it steps out of the mirror. Oh no! Mega mud, yeah.
Everyone roll initiative.
No!
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We're fighting
me. Who was looking at him?
Wasn't it Kyborg looking in the mirror? It was me. No, Kyborg
said he was going to look around the room before he said that.
Mud said he was going to look at the mirror
and cast a spell. Get ready to fight.
Our most dangerous enemy ever.
An overpowered druid. 15.
21. I also rolled a 15.
Dex off. Who has higher dexterity? Mine's 18.
20. So, come on. I rolled an
18, by the way. Thank you. What if this is
a really nice version of Mud, guys?
This is the good one.
That song will be forever in all of our heads because of just like
how long it played while you were in a battle.
Even I know that song.
Me.
Okay, uh, GumGum,
you can't believe your eyes.
Another mud has entered the room.
Are we fighting it?
Well, we're an initiative.
I don't know.
Are you asking Gum-Gum because Gum-Gum's top initiative?
Yes.
Okay.
It said, preparing a reflection will reassure retreat.
Okay, go up to this mud and give him a hug.
Sure.
Make like a touch attack do we call it?
Like a touch attack or something.
Animal handling.
Or like, is that a grapple?
Yeah.
Even though he's trying to hug, it's still an attack?
We still like have to, because the other person doesn't want the hug.
Oh.
So he doesn't want the hug.
As far as we know.
It's not like you're greeting an old friend.
Well, I don't know.
I just saw mud.
Uh, no.
Like as you approach, he seems to be like defensive and not wanting to accept the hug.
Yeah, that sounds ordinary.
Mud.
Yeah, okay.
So that's a strength, right?
Yeah, a strength or dexterity.
Yeah, strength for you.
It's been a while since we've had a gum gum hug attack.
All right, so that's a 24.
I'm going to roll a dexterity check.
Plus two on this.
Oh yeah, you managed to wrap your arms
around this mud that stepped out of the mirror and then
Uses rap it's effective. Can I hug it to the ground like tackle?
So there's like a grapple. Yeah, so you will say you said you rolled a grapple check
So yeah, I guess is like there's grappling and then there's then hugging to the ground. What's the difference knocking?
You know, like an adult hug?
It's a family show.
Yeah, an adult hug. A hug for adults.
Drop prone.
There's a shove. So you don't want to hug him.
You want to knock him down. Grapple and shove.
Hug and knock to the ground.
That's a grapple. A grapple to the ground.
Well, there's grappling and there's shoving. Yeah, shoving is pushing.
I guess I'm shoving it towards mud.
Well, you said you made a check to hug him.
And you successfully hugged him.
And you successfully have hugged him.
So you are now hugging this other mud.
Hug the mud.
So you're grappling.
Yeah.
So they're grappled.
Yeah, yeah, they're grappled,
which means you can't move anywhere,
and I want to shove it.
I guess I did this the wrong order.
You didn't do a shove.
I should have shoved and then grappled,
but I wanted a hug.
All right, I'm just going to try and put my friendship bracelets on.
Can I do that on this new mud?
Yes.
Normally, I would say no, because, you know, with the grapple, you have your arms wrapped around him.
Now you're going to pull your arms out to try to get your friendship bracelets out and put them on.
I'm going to hug.
I kind of, like, grasp him around.
Get his arms around.
And then I'm like, you hug and use friendship bracelet yourself.
Oh, yeah, that works.
So now you're locked. Oh, so you lock your own friendship bracelets?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
So like we're locked in embrace hug together.
Two worlds, a family.
All right. Yeah. You friendship bracelet yourself.
We all should be our best friends.
Yeah.
And you're hugging this other mud.
Can I move at all with this mud?
Like move it towards the other mud?
Probably another check, right?
Move them.
Sure, why not?
I go over to real mud and try and put them together.
Yeah, real mud is also really close by.
Remember, he looked at the mirror to start this in the first place.
And you try to like shove this other mud into him?
Yeah, put them together.
Okay.
Because I guess this mud came out of the, like I'm trying to put mud back together.
I don't know.
Your shadow.
Your shadow.
It doesn't seem to be working.
Maybe we got to get him wet.
Because when you have mud that's wet, you can reconstitute it.
Where that was going.
That's why I was.
Can I move him?
Move him into the mirror and try and put him back in the mirror?
No, you already moved him to mud.
All right, next up, Kaiborn.
Isn't it mud?
Aren't you doing a roll on 18?
Wait, did mud roll on 18?
I did.
Yeah.
Oh.
I'm looking at it right now.
It's okay.
Sometimes we don't listen.
That's my fault.
I have the other mud written down on my list.
Two muds, one thing.
That's really funny.
All right, mud, you're up.
Mud's up.
Gum Gum is trying to shove this other mud into you.
Don't want.
Man, what did he do?
And then after mud is Kyborg.
We didn't resolve ever Kyborg looking for that glass, did we?
No, because this happened like immediately.
I like to look around for glass.
Make a...
Say perception check.
Perception check.
Yeah.
You said say perception check, so...
Oh, I said let's make a...
Or let's say a perception check.
Perception check.
That's a 15?
Yeah, you peek around the room
and under one of the stands with candles on it,
you find a glass shard.
Does it look like it would be the only glass shard
needed to complete this mirror?
It looks like it's part of it, but it's not all of it.
Right?
Yeah, I'm going to go for the glass shard
and put it in the mirror.
Okay, make a...
How would you want to reform it?
Like, what do you think makes sense
to try to, like, put this piece of mirror back together?
Like an arcana check, a dexterity check.
How do you think Mud would approach it?
You're saying it's not the full piece
that would complete the mirror.
Right, but you can see where it would fit in.
Okay.
And part of it.
Like what skill would he use?
Yeah, like how would Mud approach this?
Mud would obviously know that what he needs to do
for all his positive modifiers
is look through his spells
and um you said there's flames around yeah there's some candles are they magical flames
they're glowing that same green color flame as you saw in the other room mud would try to heat
the glass with one of those candles uh sure yeah you do that it seems to work uh it actually seems
to work better than
you would expect and i put it in the mirror yeah it just like pops right back in and forms uh part
of the broken mirror cool i assume that's my turn yeah okay fix the mirror kyborg how many uh looking
at the mirror how many pieces are remaining there's still a fairly big chunk of the mirror
that's missing you don't know
because glass can break into a number of pieces so you can't say like x number of pieces i have
something that could help my turns over like some sort of circuit seeking thing well bad what are
did you say badger the the seeking bad gopher gopher gumbo is the better yeah
better for go for gumbo is the better yeah oh yeah now gumbos turn right if you want to be a valid target well I think no one is because I think this
other mud is a little bit preoccupied
seeking arrow to find it I do but that's for like targets. Yeah. Go look for it.
Go look for it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, okay.
Well, then I'll try to perceive where it might be.
Yeah, make a perception check.
16.
Yeah.
You saw Mud find a piece of glass under one stand with candles.
You look under the other one and you find two pieces of glass over there.
Okay.
I pick them up.
I put them in the flame and then I put them on the mirror.
Yeah.
It seems like it's just the right amount of glass to repair the broken piece of mirror.
So you put it back in, and the mirror is fully reformed and appears to be normal.
And Gum-Gum, when that happens, it seems like the mud in your hands is no longer struggling with you.
But still there.
Yeah, still there.
Am I still going?
That was my action.
We'll say that's probably about it for you.
Okay.
Because I was going to pull out my hand cannon and shoot him point blank but does anything uh happen after the mirrors
reformed like other than the mud becoming less aggressive any sort of acknowledging chime or
doors that open or things that get revealed or a face that appears that tells me who's the
fairest of them all or a buttload of cash just drops from the ceiling uh no the other
mud just appears to not be fighting anymore okay it's my turn now yes uh bart goes over to uh
fake mud and grabs his hand and pulls pulls him over to where the mirror is with gum gum uh yeah
remember gum gum's friendship bracelet around him yes i guess iGum, come bring mud with me to the mirror.
Okay, let's go, guys.
Gum-Gum, come, come.
Okay.
Yeah, I mean, they're pretty close.
So, yeah, that's easy enough.
Okay.
And then I make them look in the mirror.
Yeah, they look in the mirror and...
You want to go home, little guy?
He's huge.
He looks in the mirror, then looks at you, Bart.
The other mud looks at you, Bart, and says...
When light shines, darkness does not disappear.
It doesn't leave. It merges with the light.
It becomes the light.
How very insightful of you, Fake Mud.
Fake Mud.
And the mirror appears to move a little bit,
almost like there's a hidden door behind it.
Could Bart try putting his finger through the mirror?
Yeah, you do that, and the mirror kind of pushes aside, revealing a door.
Guys, I think we go through the mirror.
Bart wants to step through and take Mud and, I guess, Gum-Gum with him.
Into the looking glass we go.
He took the red pill.
Wait, you're taking other Mud?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Before he gets pulled along with you, the other Mud looks around at everyone.
He looks at Kyborg and says,
The best revenge is to improve yourself to gum gum that's supposed to mean he says that's a nice way to say get good if in our heart we still cling to anything anger anxiety
or possessions we cannot be free. And Tamari says,
if we can share our story with someone
who responds with empathy and understanding,
shame cannot survive.
I kind of hate this new mud.
No, I like it.
I feel like this is a self-help book,
but in a person form.
Yeah, then he steps through the mirror and disappears.
I like that he said this like an inch from my face.
I could feel the rumble in his chest.
I like that that guy was like, hey, you know that guy that killed your family?
Fix yourself instead.
The best revenge.
Jerk.
Part of me that's sad that we didn't do that fight.
Yeah, I did want to kind of like...
I was kind of looking forward to using all of your abilities against the party.
I'm not going to Yeah, I got a few
All the things that annoy me
There's a long list of them now
My like level four level five spell slots. There's some broken stuff in there
It's another example of Chris approaching something like in the
Intentionally wrong way, but somehow making it right. Yeah. And we're just confounding.
No wrong way to eat a rhesus.
There's no wrong way to eat a rhesus.
I go through the door.
Yeah.
You all go through and there's another pathway
that goes for a little bit,
like 30 feet to the east
and then curves down to the south,
goes down for another 30, 40 feet or so.
And you see another room.
It's a stone tiled hall filled with columns and candles
it's furnished with stone benches statues along the side and a long green carpet running down
the center to a massive emerald throne in the back on one side of the throne you see a glistening
crown and on the other side is a door and the door that you actually walked through to get into this
room was a little unusual it was like a revolving door.
We would see those every now, every
day in buildings, but it's very unusual for the
time. Oh, fancy. On one side you said
a glistening crown, on the other a what? Another
door. Does the crown have
emeralds in it? You'd have to get closer to go
take a look. I turn to go, go, go, race you to the throne.
I'm off.
Alright. Another check, another check. Athletics check, both of you. Yeah. I also want. Alright.
Another check.
Athletics check, both of you.
I also want to participate.
Make an athletics check.
He has disadvantage because we went first.
Bart's conserving his energy.
25, 17.
I can't actually beat that.
4.
25, you win.
I win.
And you sit on the chair?
I don't know.
I was just touching it.
Okay, you ran up to the throne and touched it. Yeah. Okay, you win. And you sit on the chair? I don't know. I was just touching it. Okay, you ran up to the throne and touched it.
Yeah.
Okay, yeah, you win.
And then you die.
I guess now that I'm here, is there anything we can see better?
Or is it just the throne?
Yeah, you see on the throne there's a small note,
like a little scrap of paper on the throne.
Bathroom, be back in five.
We're going to need Gum-Gum to read this note. Gum-Gum picks it up and reads it.
What languages do you know, Gum-Gum?
Well. None well.
What languages can you read, I should ask?
Common, Orc, and
Elvish. You have no idea what this says.
I'd take a look at it. What languages
can you read? All of them.
All of them? Uh, no. I can
read, uh,
Common, Druidic, elvish, giant,
halfling. Oh, it's in giant.
Knew it. Big boy language.
Scribbled onto the note
it says, please wait. Be back soon.
Oh, okay. I wasn't far off.
Does it give it a time or anything?
He's got a little clock
that his hands, you can move around.
We're back in 20 minutes.
Do you read that aloud? Yeah, yeah, yeah around. We're back in 20 minutes.
Do you read that aloud?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I share that.
I sit down on, like, crisscross applesauce.
On the floor.
Yeah.
After you all do that and pick up that note,
you hear a voice call out to you all and says,
the line's over here.
Can we see who said that?
Yeah, they're closer to you, Bart.
Everyone was fixated on running to the throne. Nobody realized that there were people sitting on the benches.
Oh.
No, no, no. To be clear, didn't there were people sitting on the benches. Oh. No, no, no.
To be clear, didn't care anybody was sitting on the benches.
Very important distinction.
The race is what mattered.
Everyone was fixated.
But yeah, close to you by the door at those benches that I mentioned, there's three different
people sitting down.
We got.
Oh, three different people and a goat actually.
Oh.
All sitting down.
We're all waiting.
The line is over here.
What are you guys waiting for?
Well, obviously we're waiting for them to come back.
Who?
The throne sitter. The throne sitter. So what do you do when the throne sitter comes back that's when the mommy and daddy throne want to go on a date they have to call a throne
sitter to come and watch the throne they're gonna help us resolve our our problems oh okay so
basically it's like a a line to request something from the throne sitter have them fix all your
problems huh yeah and just for reference,
the person who's speaking to you right now
is like an elderly male half-ogre
who's got like a pet giant goat with them.
Jogged back to one side.
The other people seem to be looking at you
but not really engaging.
The other ones are,
there's also a young female hill giant
and like a middle-aged female troll
who actually has two crying baby
trolls with her ask him how long they've been how long have you been waiting oh i don't know
there's no way to tell time down here we can't see the sun are you hungry usually that's a good
indication of how long you've been waiting yeah yeah no the elderly male uh half ogre speaking
to says no no i couldn't possibly eat okay go up go up and ask, can I pet your doggy?
Yeah, you do that.
And the goat just starts screaming like really loudly.
The hill giant covers your ears.
And then the baby troll start crying really loudly too.
Mud turns into a giant goat.
Okay, yeah.
You also turn into a giant goat?
Mud turns into a giant goat and starts screaming as
well the stereo the female hill does anyone else speak giant besides mud no i do not know the young
female hill giant starts uh screaming back at you mud saying in in giant saying stop that one is bad
enough i can't concentrate will you shut up and get him to shut up? Uh, yes.
I stop screaming, then I stare daggers at the other goat.
Uh, make an intimidation check.
I'm intimidating our goats.
Romance it.
Do a Bugs Bunny.
No, thank you.
Sexy lady goat.
Goat intimidation.
First time I've ever encountered that one.
15?
Yeah, the goat gets kind of quiet.
So when you're a goat, can you speak to other goats?
Technically, I can speak to all animals.
Okay. Can we milk you or make
cheese? No.
The goat stops and looks at
you and says, can you please get her to stop
playing her musical instrument? It hurts my ears.
Oh. Who's playing music?
You can see now when you look over, you see that the hill giant
actually has a musical instrument with her.
I talk to the hill giant because I can
talk giant and I say, I've got to go to stop for a moment,
but they need you to stop playing their music
and they'll stop screaming.
Can we agree on that?
Well, I'd be able to stop improvising.
I'd be able to play something nicer
if I could get my sheet music.
But she, as she points over to the troll, won't move.
She's sitting on my sheet music.
Did the troll speak to us in common?
Yeah.
Excuse me, ma'am.
If you
would be so kind as to remove
yourself from this lovely giant's
sheet music, they'd be able
to play something better
which then would make the goat stop
screaming. And everyone would be happier
for it. She says, I can't.
If I start moving around, then the kids
are going to start crying again. And then she's
holding two babies. Right.
Why don't, hey, I'm really good with kids.
You want me to hold them for a second?
I love that idea.
They're giants.
Yeah, these are trolls.
So they're, like, bigger than, you can try.
I was trying to put it in, like, frame of reference.
They're, like, probably as big or bigger than you.
Roll, what do we say?
What's baby handling?
Roll mommy check.
Who's got best mommy proficiency?
Roll a medicine check, I guess.
Medicine?
See if we can soothe them.
Are you taking one or both?
Charisma.
Both.
Okay.
19.
Oh, okay.
Wow.
They calm down and the troll says,
Oh, Sid and Stacy normally don't like strangers.
Sid and Stacy.
What lovely names for lovely kids.
They're also rather large.
I don't understand how you're able to hold both of them at the same time.
You and me both, lady.
I mean, you and me both, lady.
She stands up and like, you can tell, like, is holding her lower back.
Like she's been hunched over holding these children for a long time.
And when she stands up, the hill giant reaches over and grabs her music
sheets from where she was sitting and yeah the the hill giant says oh thank you so much i'm so happy
to have these back uh my name is longmore longmore beautiful name what does it mean doesn't mean
anything it's just a name worth an ass what does bart mean? It means big and really terrific.
It's just an acronym.
It's true.
It's all true.
But wait, what's Bartholomew you stand for?
Big and really terrific.
Handsome.
Oh, man.
Loves.
Oh, man.
I have to look up my son.
It's still Bartholomew.
All right. So I guess everyone's happy right that was like a human rube goldberg machine yeah the goat doesn't have to listen to the out of tune music the musician got her sheet music back
and the children are quiet because uh bart is soothing them uh the world around you all begins
to slow down and crystallizes into emerald green with facets of light shimmering and glinting in every direction.
You feel safe and warm, but more than that, you feel seen.
Everyone go ahead and take a long rest.
Wow!
In the twinkling of an eye, you arrive back inside the cove behind the waterfall.
The emerald monolith stands tall before you in a pool of water. An enormous shimmering silhouette takes shape inside the massive crystal, but slowly the
whole monolith begins to shrink in size. Smaller and smaller, and even smaller until it's
a bit shorter than Bart. The mini emerald monolith cracks and crumbles into the water
below. The rippling waves settle, and all that's left in the pool is a petite person.
Looks like a male, wrinkly, shrimpy kajuju.
Another one?
I am Aljaroc.
I've been expecting you, mud.
But is his voice like really like
Hi I'm Aljaroc
Now he's a god
We'll have to find out in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon
Of course
I've been waiting for you guys
Welcome to my realm
Do we know Aljaroc was a
Kajuju? No
Considering I said humidity at the top of this episode
No
We should play
Cupid and set him up with your
old mentor, Soos.
She thought she was the last of the
Kijuju. Oh, that's right. I forgot
that they were the last of the Kijuju. Yeah.
No longer. That's why when he was like, a new Kijuju,
I was like, another one. Cool.
Awesome. Alright, well, we'll see you guys next week.