Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Gems of Glrrb - C02 - Ep 24 - Break The Moold
Episode Date: November 21, 2023The party discovers the Moold and must escape the Underglobula before being trapped there forever! Support us at stinkydragonpod.com/first ! Join us on Discord: https://discord.gg/roosterteeth Chec...k out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://uncommongoods.com/stinky to get 15% off. Go to http://auraframes.com and use code TALES to get $40 off their best-selling Carver Mat frame. Go to http://harrys.com/DRAGON to get a $3 starter set. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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This is a Rooster Teeth production.
Good evening to all you Ettercaps.
Climb your way into the Sneaky Dragon and knock back our latest latte.
Toronto Lotto Gelato.
It's a mixture of your favorite ice cream flavors,
cookies and scream,
poisonous prey line,
sticky java jaws
topped with a dollop of webbed cream.
One sip of this sauce
is enough to see there's no reason to cry
over spilt silk.
Previously, our adventurers found their way to the finish line
of the labyrinth, but what other subterrestrial secrets lie deep in the underglobula, and what
is this mysterious mold? Round up a refreshment, let's resume this rank recollection. collection.
That would have been our best intro yet.
I was going to say two things about that intro.
One, I think I could hear Gus's mouth watering as he was reading through the ice cream stuff.
And two, David, you'll have to censor it,
but I feel like his first take on it should go at the end of the episode
where you put the little Easter eggs.
Tarantula.
Tarantula.
There's some animated shows
that sometimes at the end of the credits, they'll put
one line by a character from the episode
that's really funny. Like, King of the Hill would do that.
At the end, there'd be one line repeated
from someone that they said in the episode.
It would be funny to do something like that. Well, we've been
doing that. David's been putting the little like
stuff that's left on the cutting room floor at
the end of episodes. So this is
letting our audience know. That's where all my jokes
have been going. Yeah, that's where all of
Yeah, that's where all of
Blaine's greatest jokes are going.
You're going to have to go back and listen to all the episodes
to find all of Blaine's greatest jokes. I realize because I going to have to go back and listen to all the episodes to find out why it's greatest jokes.
I realized, because I listened to the episodes we put out
both of this campaign and our previous campaign,
the Infinite campaign, Michael also
hides a lot of good stuff at the end.
Like songs,
good musical cues and stuff like that.
He puts all the answers at the end of
the episode. But he whispers them
backwards.
Hello, everyone.
Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
My name is Gustavo Sorolla.
I'm the dungeon master of our putrid party.
I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow.
There, thank you, thank you.
This week's roleplay and warm-up question is,
if your character had to sacrifice someone or something they loved,
what would it be?
For what, though?
Like, what are we sacrificing this thing for?
What's that steak?
Steak!
It's for a greater good.
I don't want to get, like, too nitty gritty with the explanation.
Just in general.
Mateed's staring at me.
I guess I'll go.
I think you might be Mateed's answer.
Mateed sacrificed me. and I guess I'll go I think you might be Matisse's answer Hey there
It's Blaine
Blaine Cipani
I like watching
Blaine, I like watching you talk
because it's like watching someone struggle with a stick shift
in their car as they shift through things
You can hear my brain gears
Yeah
I'm a tiefling rogue and I'm level 5 and their car as they shift through things. You can hear my brain gears. Yeah.
I'm a tiefling roll given I'm level five.
Well, I've already been through this
process, God.
I loved
my career as a
hired killer, as a murderer,
as an assassin, as an ender
of lives, as a defeater
of living.
And I met my wife, Carol.
And we had to get out of the game, you know?
Because sometimes you find something so important, you got to put other things to the side.
And that's what I did.
Chip is a slave to capitalism.
He had to give up his job.
Listen, trickle down economics.
There's something to this.
You're going to figure it out.
You're going to make it work.
Chip has a little bit of boomer energy, I would agree.
No, no.
I'm hip.
I'm cool.
He's jacked.
I'm watching Blaine just shimmy his hips.
Gyrate.
My name is John Reisinger.
I play Matty Confucius, who is an Arakok Gringos monk.
And to sacrifice something for the greater good.
I'm proud of you, by the way.
Unlike other players, you didn't have to look at your character sheet to remember your class and race.
Yeah, I actually blamed it pretty good.
He didn't have to look as much today.
Ah, my rogue skills are paying off.
He knew where to look.
My stealth check.
No, I watched your, you said you're double 5T
fling rogue, you weren't looking at your phone. You may have looked
at it before, but you didn't have to read it. He looked before
right before and then looked away.
That's progress. He's not reading it straight from
his phone. I hide the pin that's
written in my hand. It's just on the inside of your
eyelids. Tattooed.
I'm sorry. I distracted from Matisse's answer.
That is fine because to sacrifice
something for the greater good
feels like an inconvenience upon me that I do not need to bother myself with.
But I'd sacrifice, you know, some of my bad croissants maybe.
I mean, some of them, you know.
What makes a croissant bad?
A lack of butter.
Yeah.
True.
Barbara wants a croissant now.
I want a croissant real bad.
I don't know.
Actually, I think that I'm still looking for something worth sacrificing.
I'm still on that journey.
Jacques?
No, he stays with me.
You cannot take Jacques.
You can take him from me when you've killed me for a second time.
As Bono said, I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
Oh, is he a citizen of grotesque?
He's a famous bard.
Played for the U2.
Bardo.
Yeah, that's Matisse's answer.
Okay.
Hello, I'm Elga Von Brath, played by Barbara Dunkelman.
And Elga Von Brath is the half-elf vampire barbarian.
Barbara's got her laptop an inch from her face.
She's making fun of me.
Just a little bit.
That's what we do, Blaine.
Okay?
That's how we say we love you.
And I think if I had to sacrifice something, you know,
I think I'd be willing to part with one of my three exes.
You know, if worse comes to worse, all humanity was really at risk here.
I think I'd be maybe potentially 50% willing.
That seems reasonable.
I think that's a good answer.
Do you think you could rank your three axes from most favorite to least favorite?
Oh, are they listening?
No, no, they're not here right now.
We probably put the axe of the scarab at the top.
That's a good one.
Great axe of gaining at the bottom.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, wow.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Great axe of gaining.
Start over, start over.
Ignore everything I said.
Erase.
Great axe of gaining in the middle.
And then at the bottom, just my normal great axe.
Okay.
And then your pickaxe.
Oh, my God.
So many axes.
But that's not for combat.
That's, like, more utilitarian.
I just like the idea of Elga slowly just turning into the, like,
as she walks around, just the sound of axes clanging into axes.
No, they're all hidden very strategically.
All right, Barney, what would you sacrifice?
Well, I'm Chris Damaris, and I'm Barney Farney, the human cleric.
He does sound a little like Minecraft Villager.
I would sacrifice just about anything.
For anything.
But I just wish I had more
to sacrifice. I don't really have much
that's worth sacrificing.
Barney, that's so sad. For only
two gold a month, you could sponsor a Barney Barney.
I could sacrifice myself, I suppose.
That's what I was thinking in my head.
I don't know if I have much.
Do we know why Barney doesn't
have very much that he's willing to sacrifice?
Well, I'll sacrifice. I'm willing
to sacrifice a lot. I just don't have much
that's worth sacrificing. But why is that, Barney? Well, I'll sacrifice. I'm willing to sacrifice a lot. I just don't have much that's worth sacrificing.
But why is that, Barney?
Yeah.
Well, I don't know.
I wish I knew.
If I knew, I would try and fix it.
I want to do an arcana check.
An insight check.
Is he some sort of magic, like, underspelled man?
There's a better way of saying that, but I got there.
First try.
The most mysterious of the party, I would say.
I feel like we have so much to learn
i agree yeah so described like whether or not he's a magic underspell man
well said gus that's gonna be the the big bad evil guy i saw someone uh pitch for like a little
one-off thing that we do we do a one episode where we each play each other's characters
oh it'd be crazy if that's gonna be something that might happen in a live stream
coming up soon. Wait, really? Maybe.
But it'll be after
this episode comes out. Oh, okay. Well, I hope
you guys watched, I assume, Extra Life.
Maybe. I'm not saying
that's what happened and what happened during
that stream. Well, okay.
It's a possibility. Good luck to everyone who has to do this live.
It's a possibility. It's a possibility. And if not,
I agree. That'd be fun to do. Yeah. Maybe in this universe it happened. Maybe it didn't. Yeah. Oh's a possibility. Good luck to everyone who has to do this one. It's a possibility. It's a possibility. And if not, I agree.
That'd be fun to do.
Maybe in this universe it happened.
Maybe it didn't.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
So, yeah, after, you know, a lot of backbreaking work,
you manage to clear the pathway,
and you pass through the archway and enter a circular crystalline grotto.
From the ground to the ceiling,
your eyes are filled by the scintillating light of gemstones
ranging from pebbles of deep blue azurite
to melon-sized deposits of fiery yellow sapphire.
Dividing the center of the grotto is a 30-foot crumbling chasm
flanked by pools of turquoise liquid.
Hexel looks around, seemingly amazed.
Have you ever seen so many gemstones?
And so many colors?
Green gems and blue gems?
I can't believe these gems have just been sitting here underground all this time.
Have I been saying gems wrong my entire life?
Gems!
Are those different than gems?
Holy mother of maw!
Look at that!
Hexel points across the chasm and you spot the largest
deposit of diamond ore you've ever seen in your lives
and afterlives.
It's easily bigger than a covered wagon and glitters with a thousand facets. Ding! Chip, something's chiming in your
bum bag of holding. Oh, uh, hold on, I just got a beep from my beeper. You received mail in your
cartage de aya. Oh, that's the letter thing. Yeah, you open the letter, but stare in confusion for a second. All it says is, I'm amongst the dead now.
Oh.
What does it mean?
I was going to make a Jared's Jewelers joke, and then now.
Who's this from?
Jared's Jewelers joke.
He went to Jared.
He went to Jared.
The diamonds.
Oh, oh, oh, gotcha.
Not sponsored.
Does the note not say who it's from?
No, the letter is not signed.
Does it look like penmanship from Carol?
Yeah, I was going to say, can I check and see if I recognize the penmanship?
Make a, let's say an investigation check.
Investigation.
While he's doing that, can you remind me how that thing works?
Cartus dea, or yonder letters,
are pairs of parchment that allow two creatures
to communicate long distances via the written word.
Any writing implement may be used to write a short letter
of 25 or less, a sea-sending spell, or of a drawing.
Oh, that's fun.
When the message is ready, emojis.
When the message is ready, put it in the envelope provided,
and the message is sent.
The target is the bearer of the other parchment. If put it in the envelope provided and the message is sent. The target is
the bearer of the other parchment. If no creature
bears the other parchment, your parchment will read
return to sender. Okay. Once sending is cast
through the parchment, they can't be used. So when you received
yours, you don't know who has other ones.
Mm-hmm.
What's the freaky orb
that Sauron uses that he shouldn't be using?
The Palantir? Is that what it's called? Wow, Gus got that
before Chris. I thought they were called like the eyes of something
or like the... I was yawning.
I don't know, but the object
is a palantir, of which there are several.
Maybe that specific one had a specific
name. Okay, back to his insight check.
You should draw a piece of poop on the
parchment to send back.
I think I only have it until once every
long rest, though. So I feel like, well, does that
I wonder if that applies to them, too.
So if I say, like, who the heck is this?
Well, do you recognize the writing?
Oh, yeah.
I did a nine on investigation.
I'm imagining I failed that.
Should I roll again?
You know, like I said, it's not signed.
You don't recognize the handwriting.
Okay.
You do see that it appears to be scrawled rather haphazardly.
Like in a rush?
In a hurry? Well, that's what haphazardly. Like in a rush, in a hurry?
Well, that's what haphazard would mean, right?
I thought haphazard is like, I kind of do it lazily.
Or happily hazardly.
Yeah, that too.
That's not how that works.
Have you considered that?
The room we're looking at, the chasm that you described, is it horizontally?
Like which direction we enter from?
You essentially entered from the southern portion. We're coming from the southern portion.
And there's a chasm that is dividing the room horizontally.
To the north.
It's between you and the northern portion of the room.
Oh, it's like long and skinny?
There's a chasm up and down and a chasm left and right.
Left and right.
Okay, that's what I was thinking.
It runs east to west.
So it is splitting us from the top of the room.
Correct.
And there's pools of liquid.
Fair points.
Are those pools of liquid spilling over into the chasm or are they held
just kind of like
bookend the chasm.
But they're not like a waterfall. Correct.
Some sort of Lazarus pit like in the
Batman's. Who is that? Never mind.
Is that like Dracula?
Kinda, yeah.
If Dracula's like Batman.
So the note says
I'm amongst the dead now?
Yeah, like...
Mati, did you write that?
No, that would be from you, or from these gentlemen would say that.
They are amongst the dead.
We are amongst the dead.
Hey, Hexel.
Hexel has their back turned to you.
They're staring like an amazement at the giant diamond.
At the gems, you mean?
At the giant gem.
Hexel just responds without turning around.
Yeah?
Hexel has big jif energy.
If someone were to say I am amongst the dead,
what's your read on that?
What's your interpretation?
I feel like I'm right there with them.
I feel like I've expired
and returned to the great maw looking at this giant gem.
I gotta kill you.
The gem is across the chasm.
Do you maybe want to write back on your notes?
Yeah, what the heck. You should do something.
I don't need healing.
No, I'm saying goodbye
to this very...
You actually inspired me to ask something
here, Chris. You know, while you're here,
you're not under immediate danger.
If you want to, you're welcome to take a short rest if anybody needs that.
I attack and chip.
I think we didn't.
We just take a short rest.
We did one recently.
Yeah, I'm good.
I have temp.
I have temp hit points.
I was just going to do a quick little spell.
We're good.
Are y'all all good?
I'll take one if you want to.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Lay it on me, Barney.
All right.
I'm going to do...
Is Barney like the polka dot man where if he doesn't do a healing spell every once in a while, he'll explode?
I just don't...
I keep dying, John.
So why do you want to heal us?
Well, because it heals more than one person.
Oh, yeah.
I'll take some if you're healing yourself.
All right.
Yeah.
I'll do an appeal of alleviation.
Ah.
What's the spell?
What's the spell? Appeal of alleviation. What's the spell? What's the spell?
Appeal of alleviation. It can heal
1d6 plus spellcasting and it can heal
undead. So it's some sort of banana?
And then I'm also going to cast aid.
Let Chris speak, y'all.
I'm listening. I'm a good listener.
First I'm healing 1d6
plus my spellcasting.
That's going to be...
What you doing there?
Six for both of us.
I have to paint the picture for those who don't get to watch what's going on.
I just watched Chris mouth a bunch of stuff as though he was calculating a bunch of numbers.
And then the result was six.
The result was one plus five.
That's what was going on.
I was waiting for some sort of higher number. All the seven-year-olds out there can relate and what does he do an
aide and I'm aiding and a bedding at second level so three creatures within
range and two and then one I got one more I'm full This increases max hit points by five but does that override HP
Give it to give it all right. Yeah, it boosts your maximum and your current so it's separate from temp
H letter it bar five hit points all five hit points all around. Well, for you three. Yes, not for you.
So not all around.
Thank you for your sacrifice. Almost all.
Mostly weight.
Thank you, Barney.
I feel so strong now.
Barney, I could wrestle a ball.
Thanks.
What?
A ball.
I thought you were going to say I could kiss you.
I could.
And then go ahead.
Is that a term?
Could wrestle like a ball.
A ball.
A ball.
What do you think I said?
Like a ball. You wrestle like a ball. A bull. A bull. What do you think I said? Like a ball.
You said like a ball.
I'm a professional padcaster, all right?
I say words good.
And then?
I just have never heard anybody say I could wrestle a ball.
I'm finishing this up, turning my divine power into a spell slot.
Okay.
And I'm done.
I feel like I got a bad feeling about this.
So I'm prepping.
You think we got like a boss fight ahead?
It might be a good idea for us to be well rested right now.
Is your wheel up to date, Bonnie?
My wheel?
You just seem like you're really prepping for the end.
Have you applied for a reverse mortgage yet?
I don't have a lot to give.
Okay.
To bequeath.
Well.
Do you want to try writing something with it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So anybody got a pen?
I do, actually.
A quill?
Oh, yeah, you do have a pen.
That's right.
I do.
Mine is special, though.
I have a emerald pen.
Cool.
This pen is tipped with an emerald nib
and requires no ink to write.
While holding this pen,
you could cast illusionary script at will,
requiring no material components.
But I imagine it also works with just a pen. Yeah. Okay. While holding pen, you could cast illusionary script at will, requiring no material components. But I imagine it also works as just a pen.
Yeah.
Okay.
Like, while holding it, you can cast, but it doesn't mean you have to.
And I have 25 words.
So, here we go.
Who's this?
Two.
If this is Carol, I miss you so, so much.
Please tell me you are okay. I you sweetheart kisses chip chip tell them I said
hello uh shoot what if I spit like 14 words in my letter to my wife saying, By the way. My friend Bernie.
You don't know him, but he's this guy who we met at the parade.
What happens?
I put it in the envelope.
You put it in the envelope.
And it vanishes.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
We'll find out what Voldemort has to say after this later. I'm sure there's a very cool noise that Michael will insert right here.
Ooh.
It actually screams when he sends it off.
That's what it does.
It's very painful.
Yeah, it hurts.
You're actually like, you're stabbing ink
and everything into the paper.
The letter becomes sentient
just to feel pain
for no other purpose.
It's very wonderfully dark.
We'll probably be moving on here soon,
but does anything happen immediately?
No.
You hear the whooshing sound
as your letter disappears
and goes on its way.
Like an email sound?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Quicker look around,
see if there's anything cool.
Yeah, I was going to ask if I wanted to go and...
You know what, actually, I don't want to go and investigate.
I wanted to ask...
Elga.
Hello.
Would you like to maybe help me investigate
these odd pools of colorful liquid?
Are you sure you want me to help you investigate?
I kind of do because you have the special spectacles
that help
with... Elga is on
the case, Mateed.
Hold me up.
Is Elga just T-posing?
Okay, yeah. Mateed
looks confused but he goes, okay, this
is fine and picks up the little
barbarian. So the chasm
in front of you is about 30
feet wide to get to the other side, to the north.
And it also drops about 30 feet in the center.
And then on either side, you know, both to the west and to the east are those turquoise pools that I described.
And the floor there drops like another 15 feet down to get to those pools.
Okay.
I bring Elga over to, let's say, the west pool.
Okay.
And fly down to the pool.
And I want to just use Elga like a little,
like almost like a little metal detector and just point Elga.
But are you holding her under the arms?
Yeah, I'm holding Elga, just like pointing Elga at the pool of liquid.
And Elga's going beep, beep, beep.
Lil' Barbarian sounds like a prequel to Conan,
like a cartoon or something. It's the Lil' Barbarian sounds like a prequel to Conan, like a cartoon or something.
It's the Little Barbarian.
What do you see, Elga?
Yeah, I guess, Elga, I guess you want to make like an investigation check?
With advantage, because I'm close up?
Yeah.
Mateed made it seem like you're getting a very close, up close view.
I'm pushing those spectacles straight at what I want to investigate.
I rolled a 17 and an 18, so 18.
Good job.
You know, you're getting a really good look at this turquoise liquid.
And it's not like anything you've ever seen before.
It's definitely not water.
The way it flows, it seems to be like a little more viscous than water,
like a little thicker.
And as you, you know, you have to get really close to it
to be able to get advantage.
And as you get your face really close to it,
you almost feel like warmth coming off of the liquid.
Could I touch it?
Yeah.
Just like reach out a hand.
Just like a finger.
What does it smell like?
Uh, let me see.
It smells like a combination of earth and sulfur.
Ah, like toots.
Does it smell at all like blood?
Maybe there's like some hints of iron as well,
but I don't know if it would be
blood explicitly okay um does anything happen when i touch it you're not like cupping it to
like just like one single finger i'll cup some i'll try to scoop some okay you reach your uh
right hand in to cup some of the liquid up as you stick your hand into the liquid you feel it is
indeed warm to the touch not uncomfortably so but it is indeed warm to the touch. Not uncomfortably so, but it is definitely warm, which is unusual. And you pick
it up out of the pool, and as you
pick it up, you feel it very rapidly start
to cool and harden.
And it hardens around your hand, encasing
it in a solid piece of
rock. Oh. Like
a gem? No, like a
turquoise stone, yeah.
Like the way that lava
would cool into a rock.
Okay.
Did you experience pain?
Did you lose hit points?
I don't know.
No, but you can't move your hand now.
You can't like close into a fist or anything.
What's that lady?
Medusa?
Medusa.
That's not what happened.
No?
She got encased and it just cooled around her hand.
Kind of like if you put your hand in like a wax, hot wax, and then took it out and it
would like harden around your hand.
Yeah, I love doing that.
Yeah.
And it smells like earth and sulfur-ish, you said?
And iron, sure.
And iron?
Okay.
My teeth, I made a boo-boo.
Don't know what to do about this.
Maybe take me to something hard and I slam my hand on it to try to crack the rock.
Okay.
Is there anything hard nearby that I could, like, the ground or something?
Barney's head!
I mean, yeah, there's the ground,
there's gems, there's
a couple of large pieces
of rock. Is there a gem?
Can I take a gem and try to smash it?
I'm in an alternate, right?
That's not...
Sorry, the way we were pronouncing gem is...
Well, I think it's on purpose
because these are like the globulins
and glu-bl-bl-bl-bl.
So, like, I think it's just...
Glorbulins.
Everything is just glu.
Oh.
I don't know what you're talking about, Chris.
That's Gims?
That's how we're saying it.
Gims.
What's your birth, Gim?
Mine's Amethyst.
It's really crappy.
Mine's...
Mine's Jimerald.
This is like a genuine moment of confusion for Chris.
It's like,
he,
I think he thinks
we're messing with him.
I think it's one of those
purposefully different things
that is cleverly tied
into the lore of the story.
I do not know
what you're talking about,
Ghani.
How he pronounced it
this entire time.
I miss Geralt.
Geralt.
Yeah,
I take a gem of some kind that looks sturdy
and I try to smash it against her hand.
A lot of the gems that are here
are still like embedded in the floor and in the wall.
So if you wanted to like pull one out and try that,
you'd have to try to remove it from the wall or the floor
or you could just take her hand
and smash it up against there.
You could do it, I'll close my eyes.
Okay, I smashed this little girl's hand against the wall.
I can take it.
Oh, this is going to be fun.
No, here's what I do.
Okay.
Because I want to use my most precise tool available to me to do this.
I put Elga's hand up against the wall against a nice sturdy gem,
and I rear back for a nice kick.
Okay, make an attack roll to see if you hit her hand.
Okay.
Someone better give me some blood after this.
For all the blood I will be losing.
I'm sorry, I cannot help.
It's my turn.
I'll do it.
Unarmed strike plus.
I tap you like a maple tree.
13.
That's got a hit.
You rear back and let a kick fly.
And yeah, you connect solidly with the now cooled
bit of turquoise, but your kick
seems to bounce off of it.
Would that meta-wise have to
do with the roll was to
strike? Meta-wise, it's
not enough.
My kick would not have enough force.
Could I just try to slam my own hand into the gem?
Sure, make
an attack roll. What if we did it together?
I'll tell you what. One of you can make an attack
roll and the other one can roll to assist. Okay, what
would be D20? So whoever makes the attack roll, make
the normal attack roll and whoever's assisting,
roll a D20. I've got a crowbar.
Give me the crowbar. Just an unarmed strike? Yeah,
why not? Okay. I hold the crowbar.
I don't know if you need it. I rolled a nat 20.
Okay.
Okay, I roll
plus 7, 27. I'll just go ahead and roll a 20 to see whatever that assists. That rolled a nat 20. Okay. Okay, I roll... Plus seven, 27.
I'll just go ahead and roll a 20 to see whatever that assists.
That's a three.
No, that's not very much assisting.
Thank you, Mati.
Yeah, you're welcome.
You're doing your part.
Yeah, before you're able to get over there and help Elga with her hand,
she's already just so fed up with it.
She's slamming it up against Gems on her own repeatedly.
I also...
I should have asked, too.
I can't move my hand at all, right?
No, it's sucked in this formation. Yeah, I just wanted to make sure it wasn too, I can't move my hand at all, right? Like it's stuck in this formation.
Yeah, I just wanted to make sure it wasn't like still
malleable at all. Yeah, now you bash your hand
a few times up against the wall and
Gems and this hardened turquoise
begins to crack and, you know, falls
off of your hand. I rush up and I grab her hand
and I say, Chip Haney, pleasure to meet you.
Sorry, forced to have it. I just saw
that hand. Hello!
Congratulations, we got your hand out of it
yeah so guys uh just so you know well that turquoise liquid looks very tasty very nice to
touch don't what if we dipped a weapon into it go ahead i mean i you volunteer sure let me see what
i got i got should just put my feet in it. You know what the heck?
Let's get...
Hey.
Hey, science class.
Let's get crazy.
I'm going to dip an arrow into it and then shoot it from my crossbow across the way.
And just see if it has any sort of like cool effect.
I assume you just dip like...
Just the arrowhead.
The arrowhead.
Yeah.
Right?
Into it.
And you fire.
Anything in particular you want to aim at?
I'll aim at a gim across the way that's safely away from my friend group.
Sure.
Roll me a d6.
How much time did you budget
for us to mess with this liquid?
Let me see.
Three.
Enough.
You had about 20 minutes.
Okay.
Now make your attack roll.
Okay.
22.
Okay.
Yeah.
You take aim at a distant gem
and fire your crossbow
with the turquoise-tipped bolt.
And it flies, impacting the gem, and the turquoise shatters off of the bolt as it strikes the wall.
But it doesn't hit the gem off the wall?
No.
Nothing crazy, interesting, science-y?
No.
Okay.
Nothing that strikes your attention.
How tall is this room?
So from the bottom of the chasm to where you entered was 30 feet.
From where you entered to the top above, make me a perception check, Matit.
I just had an idea.
After you wrap this up, Matit, I'm on to something.
Sherlock Haney's on the case.
That's how it goes in this game.
Ten.
Moriarty Haney.
It's kind of dim up there and it's uneven,
so it's hard to put a precise number on it.
You would guess if you had to pick a number,
it's another 50 feet above there.
Okay.
And we're down on the west in that little chasm area, right?
Correct.
And we haven't crossed the chasm.
Not yet.
Barney, are you there with them as well?
I am.
Okay.
Here's my crowbar.
A little late.
Is that offensive to a Matide? Oh, crowbar. A little late. Is that offensive to Matide?
Oh, crowbar?
Crowbar.
That is more offensive.
You asked that.
I am not a crow.
Why would you say that?
Is Barney offensive to Matide?
Yes.
Okay, gang.
You know how we've been running into all these statues?
Yes.
What if there are people that have been dipped into this turquoise stuff?
Could we, yeah, could we recall if the statues and frozen people we've seen
are the same color
as this frozen stone?
Yeah.
Make a wisdom check.
I'm doing one too.
I'm going to do one.
I will do one.
The whole gang.
So 13 for Elga.
20.
God, bad rolls today.
Five.
You're saving the good ones
for later.
13.
13?
Why?
So two 13s,
a five and a 20.
You don't, well, Matide's not sure one way or another,
but the rest of you don't believe that those statues were a result of this turquoise pool.
So we haven't seen anything coded in this yet, as far as we recall?
Not that you can recall.
Not like a good theory.
Maybe this is nothing.
Maybe it'll come up later.
I mean, I would.
Maybe we should check out the other side of the chasm.
Yeah.
I thought you were going to say, maybe you should shut up.
You know, Matilde, you and I looked at the chasm.
You did have a startled look on your face when I started talking to you.
I'm on guard today.
Maybe Barney and Chip should go check the other side.
Let's do it.
I like that.
We have done our experiment.
It's time for them to put themselves-
Yeah, and then call across the castle and tell us what you found.
You guys are right next to us.
Yeah, I was going to say, Elga, we are standing two feet away from you.
I like that.
It's like, it'd be like really tight on Elga, and then the camera just turns, and you're
just right there.
She's screaming in your face.
Okay, goodbye!
She's short.
Everyone's far away, okay?
What?
Just to project.
What? I pick up Elga and put her right at Chip's face.
Oh, hello, you're back.
As we walk away.
So, is it chasm or chasm?
Oh, God, Lord.
It's actually chasm.
What about peating?
Oh, look at you, comedy.
Gus hated that.
I thought it was pipe.
If Elga dies in the next battle, you know why.
They go after Elga.
Yeah.
It's just Gus rolling dice to see who gets the attack,
but he's not even looking at the dice.
He just says Elga every time.
So then we go to the other end.
And where's Hextal?
Hextal?
So before I answer that, Chris, what do you mean by you go to the other end, Blaine?
Wait, where did you want to sit, Bessie?
I'm just following Jon's lead here.
We're on the west side of the south part of the place.
There is a chasm that is dividing it across the way,
and so we want you to go to the north side across the chasm. Oh, across the chasm.
I'll say it in Matisse.
Just go across the chasm.
Okay.
Simple.
The reason I waited to answer your question, Chris,
is if you're going to the north side over there,
because that's closer to where the giant diamond is,
Hexel would follow because Hexel is very transfixed by the giant diamond.
How's Hexel going to get across the chasm?
We don't know, Hexel.
How are you going to get across this chasm?
Yeah, can you do like make yourself into a bridge?
Hexel just kind of, you know.
She's not a ditto.
She is.
She turned into a gel.
Gel.
Gel.
Right.
When you all entered from the southern end, you know, and there was that 30-foot drop,
Hexel just kind of oozes up to the ledge and then oozes straight down the side of the chasm.
Down under the grotto floor.
Right.
And then goes up to the northern grotto
and then just attaches themselves to it and just starts
climbing straight up. I think that
Hexley uses goo powers to get across
the thing. And how far away?
It's pretty far. It's like
20 or 40 feet. The chasm is 30 feet
wide. 30 feet wide.
We could do the old rope
loop-de-loop across. Well, y'all
were down on the bottom of the chasm with them
Because that's where the turquoise pool was
So now you just have to climb back up
Okay, then we'll do that
We'll skirt around the edge of the pool
And then we'll climb back up
And I'll give old Barney a boost
So up, you're going to climb up
Yeah
All right, both of you, just for fun, make me athletics tricks
Oh, easy
I gave you all a pass on getting down here
So let's see what it's like going up
Six
Yeah, that's not great.
And 14. Oh, Barney once again
with his old man strength. Mateed is looking
at this old man with squinted eyes like,
I see you. I see you.
He's not even using Peteens.
Very good, Gus.
I will roll my
inspiration die. This seems like a good
use of it. You think so?
No, not at all. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Can I do something?
It's okay. I whisper.
That was it? What?
That was it? Alright, trust
fall. I'm gonna go with the six.
Okay, you begin climbing,
but you just get a few feet off of the ground
and the walls crumble beneath
your hands and your feet and you're unable to really
gain any traction to climb up. Meanwhile,
Barney is scampering his way up the side.
Okay, well, can I use my brain powers?
Ah, I really wish you would.
God, it's finally happening.
My telekinetic thing, and I can move someone up to five feet.
No way.
I like that you're like, my telekinetic thing.
It's called telekinesis.
Telekinesis.
Telekinetic thing. So called telekinesis telekinetic thing
so i can move as bonus action and you can choose to fail it so that i can move you up to five feet toward or away from me yeah i feel that that's about five feet right what's about five feet
going up he's helping him up five feet of the wall yeah it's 30 feet high okay nevermind yeah i was
wondering where this was going can you do it to do? Can you do it six times in a row rapidly? Hey, can I can you make me fly?
being smushed against the side of the wall.
Just grinding against the wall.
Slowly up.
All right.
You are five feet up a 30-foot wall.
Now what do you do? No, I did it six times, so it's like...
Is it a cantrip?
I use it as a cantrip, yeah.
Okay.
Then you could probably do it multiple times, right?
Oh, you know what?
Hey, don't even worry about it.
Stop it, party.
I got this.
Thank you for the levitation.
How much time did you
budget us getting up this wall in my inventory have that jar of the baboon
upon opening or breaking this jar a spectral baboon leaps forth and releases
a blessing when this happens the creature closest to the baboon gains the
benefits of the blessing the blessing lasts for one, or when the creature reduces your hit points.
Your movement speed is increased by 20 feet.
You gain a climbing speed of 20 feet, and you ignore difficult terrain.
Nice.
So you've gone five up.
20 more will go up for climbing.
You've got five more to get up.
Yeah, and I take a quick break.
I go, I am double baboon.
What does the baboon sound like?
Is that a baboon?
That's a monkey.
It works for me.
Do it lower.
I'm pretty sure they scream higher, actually.
I think we heard enough of Blaine's monkey impression.
I look around, and I pull down my pants to see if my butt's red.
If you want to let us know if we heard enough of Blaine's monkey impressions,
let us know in the Discord.
Yeah, just more. Just
tweet us at...
Yeah, the baboon
blesses you and you're able
to scamper up the wall and join
Barney. Before the baboon goes, can I say
do you know where my wife is?
What does the baboon say back?
It scratches its head and looks at you blankly.
Does it say anything? Talk to me, baboon.
Tell me something.
Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Okay.
That was good.
That's good.
That's good.
All right.
I have no idea if that's what a baboon actually sounds like.
You're kind of good.
What do you think is happening over there, Matilda?
I am watching some weird show in the world.
You're just seeing Barney go, er, er, er, and me going, oh, ah.
Do they know they could just ask me and I could take them up there?
Maybe we keep that between you and me.
That was an option.
Okay, and then I join Barney then.
I climb up that thing.
We made it up!
You all get to the top on the other side of the chasm,
and you look around, and you're really, and Hexel is there with you,
and there's really this huge deposit of diamond ore before you it's maybe 15 feet wide or so it's just massive
and then you see that beyond that there's actually a little alcove just to the north of that carved
out in the side of the wall call it me a horse because that's that's a lot of carrots oh okay i'm off my game today i've got a lot of good
diamond jokes actually uh like unrelated to that thing can i look around see if there's any just
loose gemstones i want to keep up chips thing of gemstones gemstones i want to keep up chips
thing of collecting little uh forget-me-nots for for carol yeah there's uh various gemstones
deposited on the ground around here if you want to try to grab one, make a strength check to see if you're able to
extract it from the surrounding rock.
Okay.
This is a side question,
but are any of the gemstones orange?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, there's orange ones.
Hmm.
Just saying.
Gosh, orange, diamond.
Fifteen.
Fifteen.
Yeah, you start chipping away at it, pulling it,
and it seems to be, you know,
you have like a good grasp on it.
Go ahead and make me a dexterity check now.
17.
Yeah, you were able to pop out a really sizable gemstone.
You know, you're not an expert in this field by any stretch of the imagination,
but you would estimate that that gemstone is probably worth around 100 gold.
Wow.
Oh, that's a good one.
I didn't know that we could do that.
We could just mine, literally mine.
Yeah, just make sure if you're going to get that diamond door,
use an iron pickaxe.
So the alcove is where?
It's just to the north beyond this giant diamond deposit.
And it's a diamond deposit.
You don't got enough.
Yeah, this is what Hexel's staring at.
You think you hear Hexel muttering something about a wedding ring
for their attachment.
Hexel, now, now, this is too big for a ring.
You're right.
Necklace.
I like the way Axel thinks.
Yes.
Axel, we have no way of getting this out.
We're losing sight of the goal.
It's diamond.
Okay, well, we're losing sight of the diamond of the reason we're here.
Here's the thing.
There's no way that this thing is not cursed.
So I'm going to just activate the cut scene.
I slap the diamond.
You slap the diamond.
Uh-huh.
All right.
You slap the diamond, and it begins to, like, shudder a little bit and move.
Yeah, classic.
But then it stops.
Are you bleeding?
Did you cut yourself on that diamond?
Nope.
Fit as a fiddle.
Thanks for checking.
It is cursed.
Let me see if we got it.
How do you know it is cursed?
It moved.
Oh, you know it's the...
Yeah.
It moved because you hit it?
Can I perceive, like what was it like
when it moved did I see limbs or
anything? I love the
phrases that way. Can I perceive
that? That's like a
thing you do constantly. I love it. It didn't
seem like it. It just seemed like this giant
diamond deposit just started shaking and
the ground around it moved a little bit too.
If we have a few
minutes I'll do a detect magic. Yeah. Why do you need a a few minutes, I'll do a detect the magic.
Yeah. Why do you need a few minutes?
Because I can do it as a ritual
and not use a spell slot. How long does it take you to use
a ritual? It takes 10 minutes, right Micah?
Oh god. 10 minutes. Oh god. Oh lord.
In game time, we don't actually
have to sit here. No, no. We're going to set up a timer.
Sit here for 10 minutes waiting
as Chris makes up a ritual.
Can we do that? Yes, your party. can we do that yes your party can we do
that i mean i'm down with elga so you guys are you guys are supposed you're on your own mission
seems like there's nothing pressing that's happening or dangers that are present but also
like what is hell hell has goal gonna do has goal you're just gonna wait and see you know what i got
enough stuff to occupy my time and then i just stare at the letter waiting for a response
unblinking.
As just like three dots appear every once in a while.
Oh, they're doing something.
No, they're deleting it.
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While Barney's spending 10 minutes to detect magic,
Elga and I work on our dance routine.
Ooh.
But nowhere near the turquoise liquid.
Yes.
Bad.
Bad.
Not bad.
Not bad.
Actually, that's what we do for 10 minutes since we're in a cave is we work on Elga's bat techniques.
I try to teach her how to fly.
That's a good use of time.
Yeah.
Okay, so I guess everyone's okay with it.
Barney begins using a ritual for detect magic so you don't burn that precious level one spell slot.
I just never used a ritual before.
I kind of wanted to try it out.
Let's give Chris just a moment to let us know how the ritual sounds.
No, this is just him patting.
He was humming earlier and sounded like, don't worry, be happy.
You focus for 10 minutes casting your ritual or using your ritual.
I don't know what the proper term for that is.
Encantering.
Encantering a ritual.
Performing a ritual. Performing a ritual. For 10 minutes. what the proper term for that is. Encantering. Encantering a ritual, performing a ritual.
Performing a ritual.
For 10 minutes, and then your detect magic finally is cast.
So you open your senses to detect any magic in the area,
and you do feel some magic radiating from this giant diamond.
And what kind of magic?
You're going to make me look it up, aren't you?
I think every time we've asked that, and he's told us what kind,
I'd say about 90,
95% of the time, we don't know what that
is. Yeah. And it doesn't aid us
at all, but I love that we're spending 10 minutes
for something that's just letting us know, yes,
the diamond ore that moved,
it's magical.
I want a stuff in here that's magical.
I feel like, what if it's a snail
and we're not seeing... Oh my goodness.
We're seeing just the top part of the shell and not the bottom.
A diamond snail.
Should we dig around it?
We got pickaxes.
We got one.
We got hands.
We got elbow grease.
We got elga grease.
Oh, I don't know what that is made of.
Blood.
Speaking of which, chip.
Do you need blood?
Is your sippy cup getting low? No, I think I still have
some in there. Okay. Okay.
You need me to top you off. I do want to
say I did take a sip of my sippy
cup of satiation.
Alright. Yeah, you detect
it is transmutation
in its magic type. Transmutation.
It's been transformed.
So it's something else that is not a diamond.
How can we reverse this effect?
The old slapper.
The old slapper? Yeah, I started playing patty cakes
on that thing. Or should we go check out the alcove?
Bongo drums. We should probably come in and
investigate all this area, right?
You begin playing the bongos on the
giant diamond and the giant diamond begins
shaking once again.
And then, much to your
surprise, it begins moving and rising up out of the ground.
And you hear
a low rumbling.
Flurby, flubble,
gerbil, gobb, flip, flip.
Ah, blurble,
gerbil to you.
As you hear this sound, you realize
that this is a giant
diamond-skinned golem.
It's got crystallized gem shards sticking out from its back
and small gooey tentacles oozing from its maw.
From its maw?
Yeah, it looks rather angrily at you, Chip.
Flurbly, flurble.
Let's do that Riz.
Flurble, flurble.
And I bow.
You just swore at it.
And I present that gemstone that I took from the ground earlier,
and I put it down at its feet and step back.
It looks at it, then it reaches over to a nearby rock and touches it,
and that entire rock turns into a giant gem.
I was suggesting far away from this thing.
Plane was like, oh, at first.
And then Barbara pointed that out.
And it got a lot darker
What you gonna do?
I want to
Barney you're there too by the way
Yeah
What's the ground made out of?
Who?
Oh
You?
Oh
Away me
Okay bye bye
He said he asked who we are though
Who dares disturb my slumber
Oh who like awakes
Oh awakes I thought he said away from me he did oh
Me
chip who
Sure, uh it looks at you Barney
Barney I
Am a friend, I hope.
Friend. I look
at him and then I hug Bernie
and then I look at him and I like
friend.
Friend. It reaches out its hands.
Ah.
Long distance friendship.
Pin pals.
No touchy.
What you want anything?
Want sleep?
Oh.
So sorry to be loud.
Night night.
Sorry for playing the bongo drums on your head.
While he's standing up, I want to glance down and see if there's like anything that he's on top of,
like a trigger for a door or something that we need to get him out of the way of.
The hole that it was in is just like covered with gems all on the inside.
Okay.
Because he has like some sort of magic touch.
I think anything he touches, yeah.
Yeah.
Is Hexel around?
Maybe we could ask them what this is.
Hexel's just kind of frozen, not moving at all.
Oh, he touched her.
I think we should stay down here for now, Elka.
Good night!
You go sleep.
We leave.
This giant creature's eyes shift back and forth between Bernie, Fernie, and Kip.
Could I, like, slowly lower to the ground and start just kind of, like, you know.
Nestling? Yeah, just like, you know. Nestling?
Yeah, just like I'm going to sleep.
But being that Barney is an old man, he might just fall asleep.
Sure.
The giant creature looks at you, then looks back at the hole in which it was and kind of relaxes itself a little bit.
And it begins like getting back into its little cubby, its little nest and it's trying to get comfortable.
I think I know what this is maybe.
Yeah.
Then it opens its eyes and looks at Bernie, Fernie and Kip one more time
and asks,
Where globble bobbles?
Globble bobbles?
Who?
Who?
What is globble bobble?
Globble bobbles want gems.
Many gems.
Globble bobbles make mold. Oh, we need the mold of underglobula, right?
Also, what name you mold?
That's what I thought it was.
Oh.
This is a gem-making, like, creature.
So they want this guy.
They want this guy.
I was like, this guy is a gem
making machine. This sounds like a very
lucrative creature to have. Yeah. So this
phoenix wants the mold
of the underglobular. Or whatever its abilities
are. So we're in the underglobular.
Correct. Yes. And we found the mold.
Whoa. Short.
Well, I don't want to bring this.
He's such a nice feller.
And why do they want... The ph. He's such a nice feller. Yeah, so why do they want?
Phoenix wants this?
Don't know.
I mean, it's a money printing machine.
Also, don't this Phoenix's eat something?
I don't know.
Maybe I'm making that up.
I don't have my notebook with me today, and it's wracking my brain.
Welcome to my life.
Every day.
Yeah.
God, what do we do?
We're supposed to, our mission is to bring this thing back.
How big is it?
Oh, it's huge.
Massive.
Like, bigger than a covered wagon.
I say, you know Sphenix?
Sphenix.
Yeah.
Sphenix.
No, no.
Oh, okay.
Only know Globble Bobbles.
Globble Bobbles.
And Bernie Ferny.
And Kip. What's a Globble Bobble? Do you know Globble Bobbles. Globble Bobbles. And Bernie Ferny. And Kip.
What's a Globble Bobble?
Do you like Globble Bobbles?
No.
They're so grubble.
Mule, gem them.
Oh, he wants to kill them.
Oh, is it the Glurbians?
Oh, Globble Bobbles bad.
Grubble.
Okay.
Grubble is yes.
They boom, boom, wow.
They poop on the walls.
They explode.
No.
No.
They poop on the walls.
They explode on the walls. No.
I would hate them too if they did that.
Yeah, that's terrible.
But do you think we should go over there to help them?
My worry is that we might startle the golem with our presence.
What if you just very slowly fly us in?
Swoop, swoop.
Stealth bomber.
Parachute.
I don't know what that means.
I don't know what that means.
Sorry, listening to glub, glub, glub
and then blub, it makes me, my brain
go mush, mush.
So, the mold, we can refer to this thing
as the mold, yes? It's up to you.
Thank you for being so secretive.
The mold has nestled back
down but is looking at chip and barney correct and that is in our direction it's hard for you
to see because it's 30 feet above you on like a platform up there sure if i may i think i can do
something here uh mold you want more friends? Friends, good.
I bring you friends.
And then I call out to you guys. Okay, then we come up and join.
The alcove.
Your name.
Bonjour, my name is Matit.
Matit.
Matit.
Got their name right there.
Yeah.
Hello, Gloob.
I mean, Mouldy Gloob.
Gloob moves, Moulds.
My name is Elga. Elga. I mean, Gloob. I mean, Mouldy Gloob. Gloob moves, Moulds. My name is Elga.
Elga.
I mean, no harm.
Unless you make me mad.
Elga, small game.
Oh, he called me game.
So, gang, it seems like he has enemies,
and they are the Underglobillions,
and he wants to turn them into
gims. Wait, why did he call me a gim?
You're a small gim. Yeah, but does he think of
living beings as gims?
Am I gim?
Gim-ish.
A gim-ish.
I think it's just slang
that Gus is messing around with.
Is it in the module
or is Gus just making it up?
I think I see where the module's ending.
I have a question.
Behind what we're calling the mold
is an alcove that we still have not investigated at all.
Correct.
And that is separate from where the mold is laying on top of.
Correct.
Is the mold blocking the entrance to that alcove?
No.
Okay.
I'd like to approach that alcove.
Okay, yeah. I feel like we approach that alcove. Okay.
Yeah.
I feel like we're operating on not all the information possible in this room.
Matthew, just make a wide berth, please.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's an alcove carved out of the wall here,
and it's got stone shelves holding, you know,
what appear to be some supplies and piles of half-cut gems.
Is there anything interesting, out of place, odd on these shelves?
Make an investigation check. I've cut gems. Is there anything interesting, out of place, odd on these shelves?
Make an investigation check.
Matide goes, like, makes a little whistle sound and, like, motions for Elga to come join because that has now been something Matide has learned is better for Elga to do.
Okay, here I come.
Muldog be right back.
Okay, don't go anywhere.
Bye-bye, gem.
Yeah, this is why.
I rolled a three.
I rolled a three.
Bad rolls all day.
Don't want to play anymore. Bye-bye. Let me take a this is why. I rolled a three. I rolled a three. Bad rolls all day. Don't want to play anymore.
Bye-bye.
Let me take a gem there.
Hello there.
16.
There you go.
Okay.
Yeah, you see like five half-cut gems that are probably worth like 10 gold each.
And you see some jeweler's tools and a few barrels of blasting powder, some flint, and a blank sky chart.
Do you think Adam Sandler is in there?
I was going to make that exact joke.
Adam Sandler?
Uncut Gems.
Oh.
We need a poster now called Uncut Gems
with a D&D version of Adam Sandler.
What was he calling under globulins?
Globble Bobbles.
Globble Bobbles.
Monsieur Mule.
Mule.
Is there a chance that this here was where the Globble Bobbles were?
Globble Bobbles.
Yeah.
Okay.
So this was the Globble Bobbles place that they were mining.
And it seems Mould has taken care of them.
Yeah.
Where go Globble Bobbles?
Mould grabbed them.
Where are Gems?
Mool just looks confused by the question
and looks around the entire cavern.
Maybe, because I'm thinking
he turned them into Gems.
Is every Gem in this room
Globble Bobbles? It is like a whole
crystalline cave. I point at like
a pile or the nearest Gems
and I say, that Bobble Gobble?
Gem.
And now Gus is having fun fun Gus is still loving this
so we seem
to be at a crossroads here where our mission
is to retrieve Moldia
for what can only be assumed
as nefarious reasons
I like Mold
Isaac Mold is a wonderful individual
but we have to figure out what we are going to do about it.
The fact that we have now found what our mission is about
and are still trying to save the Glurbians from this phoenix.
Mould!
Stereo.
You want to go on a trip?
Trip?
What trip?
Where?
What?
Outside.
I point upwards.
Outside.
Upstairs.
Mould looks up at the ceiling in the grotto that you're in.
Everyone make a perception check, I guess.
22.
Tree.
12.
18.
So Mateed and Barney, you know, you follow Mould's gaze upwards.
And the two of you notice that there's a mine shaft in the ceiling of this grotto
that appears to just disappear far into the distance.
As in like it's like a tunnel that just kind of...
Goes up?
Correct.
Someone dug down to here.
Gim, you come with us up.
Mool go up.
Mool go up.
Mool begins jumping up and down excitedly
and kind of like...
Just shake the whole ground.
Yeah, and like slamming its fists on the ground.
Mool go up. Mool go up. on the ground. Mould go up!
Mould go up!
The ground begins cracking under the mighty fists of Mould,
and turquoise liquid begins seeping out from the ground.
Oh, no!
Mould raise you there.
And Mould begins climbing up the wall, up into the mineshaft.
That was easier than we thought.
Mould go up.
I would suggest that we try to get up as fast as possible,
unless you want to become a stone.
It's not fun.
No, I don't want to be stones.
Chip ain't done two drugs.
Matilda, little hands?
I grab Elga and fly up.
Do I still have the power of the baboon?
It was only for a minute, wasn't it?
Yeah, but you know it's T&D time.
Why did you turn into Barney there for a second?
You know.
How high up is it, and is there any way up that we see?
Is it a ladder or anything?
From the ground where you are up to the top of this grotto,
it's probably between 50 to 60 feet,
but then the shaft goes up from there,
and it's impossible to tell how far up it goes from there.
You need to get like a grappling hook or something.
The turquoise liquid is very quickly beginning to fill the room.
It's going to be around your ankles here very shortly.
Let's go up.
Can we start climbing?
Mateed, grab this rope.
Can I throw it?
A rope.
I don't know what my carrying capacity is.
Just a rope.
Just a rope.
Just take the rope to the top.
How long is a rope? How about we get to the top and throw down a rope? That's what I'm wondering. Yeah, there we go. capacity is. Just a rope. Just a rope. Just take the rope to the top. How long is a rope?
How about we get to the top and throw down a rope?
That's what I'm wondering.
Yeah, there we go.
Same difference.
Yeah, sure.
Okay.
I don't have rope.
I do.
And I have a hook, a meat hook.
You could hook.
I only have 50 feet of rope.
That's enough, right?
How much rope do you have, Bunny?
Well, if it's 50 feet up.
Well, no.
50 feet is the crystalline cave, but he said that the mine shaft goes above there correct
Once the plan is motion that's when I love
G in the first half of Lord of the Rings I have rope's my rope i have 50 feet of hemp and rope in my inventory so you got 50 elga's got 50 i'm a
big okay okay so maybe before flying up we tie we could take both ropes up and tie and let it down
okay so we i do that 100 wherever we go up to the top if you allow elga and mati to go to the top of
this uh chasm i'm just making sure i'm clear here. Are you going the full hundred or are you going to the mouth of the mine shaft,
to the top of the grotto,
and then getting to that point and continuing?
I'd like to go to the mouth,
because you're talking this goes up to ground level?
Unknown.
It disappears into the distance.
I would say to where the mouth of the shaft is,
and then assuming there's some type of flat surface
we could stand on.
Oh, is there a cliff or something?
I'm pointing at Mateide and Elga here.
Since you two, you know, have the ability to get up there since you're flying.
Elga has the ability to get up there.
Elga's being carried.
You know, when you get up there, you see that this shaft has a wooden ledge here at the very bottom of it.
And that you see there are further wooden ledges spiraling up the shaft.
Okay.
Oh, like stairs?
No, not stairs.
Like they're not steps, but there's different platforms every so oftenaling up the shaft. Okay. Oh, like stairs? No, not stairs. They're not steps, but there's different platforms every so often going up the shaft.
Okay.
We're playing Rayman, and there's some platforms that we've got to jump up.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Mati flies up to the top of that and ties off a rope so that they can get to at least
that part.
And Elga helps hold it to help pull.
Neat.
And we climb.
We climb.
We toss down the rope, yeah.
But then we kind of like pull it up a little bit and mess with them.
We are going to melt.
Drop a little higher, just a little higher and you can get it.
Mateed.
Mateed and Elga, you two are waiting on that platform for the rest of your party to rejoin with you?
Yeah, right next to the enemies you're about to have us fight.
That's why I asked.
Oh, no.
I speak Gus.
As Barney and Chip get up onto the platform, Barney points in shock as he's the only one who notices that there's a sticky patch of spider webs nearby the platform.
And you all hear squelching sounds coming from the dark as spider-shaped enemies come out and begin trying to bite at you.
Everyone make wisdom saving throws.
So this is in the shaft or just above the shaft?
In the shaft, yeah.
Wisdom saving throws.
26.
17.
That is a 12.
14.
The spider-like creatures begin trying to bite at you,
but you all are able to ward them off and keep them at bay
without taking any damage.
We defeated your trap card. Yeah.
So far. I have
in my inventory a
bomb bomb. You should climb.
I could also bomb and cover our
backs. We don't want boom booms.
They're up there. Are they...
Where are these things coming out that they were going after all
four of us? They're like out of the cracks in the mine
shaft, the cracks in the wall.
We made it up the Minecraft.
We need to climb.
Minecraft.
Made up the Minecraft.
You all are currently in the mineshaft.
You're at the very bottom of it,
which would be like at the very top of the grotto that you were in before.
Copy that.
Let's just keep climbing, gang.
Yeah.
Let's try to climb up.
But now they have little ledges that the terrestrial-based creatures can go up.
Are they jumpable?
I can't. Hold on. Are they jumpable? I cast.
Hold on.
Are they jumpable?
Yeah, you could jump between them.
You know, it's not necessarily super easy, but you know, you could find your way to traverse them.
Should we try to just get up there, but just the old fashioned way?
Or are you about to do something that takes 10 minutes, Barney?
I cast.
I was going to cast bless, but I don't know if that's.
Oh, bless this mess. It's only a minute that it lasts. I can to cast Bless, but I don't know if that's... Oh, bless this mess.
It's only a minute that it lasts.
I can cast it instantly,
but it just helps with saving throws.
Oh, gotcha.
Do it.
I cast Bless!
Barney's really into that.
There's a microphone in front of you.
There's two nice gentlemen over to the left of us
who are monitoring audio levels.
Three creatures, so all three are blessed.
Can you bless yourself?
No. Whenever you bless yourself? No.
Whenever you make an attack roll or saving throw,
the force bones, you get a D4.
Thank you very much.
And it lasts for a minute?
Yeah.
You said?
Yeah.
Okay.
Is there any way to add that to our conditions?
It'll probably last for the entire time we're here in the mineshaft.
We'll just make sure to remember that.
In the distance, in the dark, further up the mineshaft,
you hear laughter. We'll go up sure to remember that. In the distance, in the dark, further up the mineshaft, you hear laughter.
We'll go up.
Faster.
Okay.
It's so good.
What Matit is going to do now that Matit has seen that this mineshaft is not the most safest place
is Matit is going to be flying up alongside the team trying to do this traversal game,
but stay with them and not go ahead.
Yeah.
Trying to keep pace with them yeah you know this kind of
reminds me when a little kid is learning how to ride a bicycle and their parents are holding on
to their sides and like they're running alongside them as they're going like they could help them
but they're just not what i don't want to do is i don't want to that is a very very apt way of
putting this um i am trying to to avoid startling any more creatures in
this shaft that might be attacking us.
My father helped me learn to ride a bicycle.
It was a unicycle,
but it still counts.
It's not a bicycle
by definition. That's true.
So, Barney, you were saying words matter?
A cycle. Well, it's a cycle.
What do you feel about
Minecraft?
Okay, so Elga's going to try to jump to the platforms.
Okay, same.
So three of you are, you know,
are making your way from the first platform
up to the next one
with Matide providing air support.
I'm just a hall monitor.
Yeah.
The three of you on the platform
make me perception checks. 18. 11. 9. Yeah. The three of you on the platform make me perception checks.
Eighteen. Eleven. Nine.
Okay. Ilga, you're the first to
notice it, but you hear a rumbling
coming from the wall next to the platform
and you think you spot little fissures
beginning to grow in the wall
and little sprays of that turquoise
liquid begin spouting out from it.
Oh no, guys, we need to go faster
I think. All three of you make de, guys, we need to go faster, I think.
All three of you make dexterity saving throws.
Must go faster.
Must go faster.
And then we have a plus what from Barney?
Plus D4, I believe.
Is that correct, Barney?
Yeah. I need that.
Tell you what.
That's an eight for Barney.
Thirteen.
So I would have a 12.
Chip and Elga, you're able to jump fast enough,
but Barney lags behind just a little bit,
and some of the turquoise liquid gets on your left arm,
causing you to have difficulty in moving that around.
That's no difference than normal.
A little touch of the rheumatoid arthritis flaring up.
I think it's protecting his bones.
You look like you got one arm.
It's like a different kind of material than the rest of your body. It like it's like a cool look you know like if that was like this actually seems quite debilitating
Well, I mean I think if like they were you know they embraced it. They became
Yeah, yeah, that's pretty cool
I know.
Guys, keep going.
Plane looked at me like I didn't get the references.
Up above in the darkness, you hear the mold cry out.
And you hear some slamming up against the rock.
And giant fragments of gems begin falling straight down over on top of all of you.
No.
We shouldn't have made him so excited to go to the top.
Who did that?
It's easier than carrying him.
You all can.
I don't know.
It's up to you if you can make a dexterity save or if you have another way you want to try to avoid the falling gems.
How much more like uppies do we have to travel?
Based on how much you've moved so far, you think you're getting close.
If you had to take a guess, maybe halfway.
Does it have to be a saving throw we do?
No.
Tell me what you have. Could I do some maybe athletics of like avoiding the falling gems and like...
Sure.
Athletics is strength.
Yeah.
Maybe instead you do something like an acrobatics, like dexterity based.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'll do acrobatics.
Check.
I'll try one of those as well.
That's an 18.
Ooh.
Can I intimidate the gems?
I don't think you i intimidate the gyms i don't think they're they're uh you
can intimidate them is there like a space that we're moving to or we just is it just like a dodge
it's either like dodging in place or jumping up to the next platform okay yeah i guess i'll do that
one of those jump up to the next platform he announces to the group i'll just do a dex. Alright. Is it safe? Sure, yeah. I'll do the same.
20. Ooh. 14!
16!
What about chip? I don't know if I caught on to what
chip was doing. Does dexterity saving throw suffice?
Sure. Plus 4. Oh, I didn't
even do plus 4. That's a 13
plus
plus a d4. d1. 14.
And mine's a 22 with it.
Mine's a 22. Everyone rolled really well.
I hate to rain on your parade.
Barney, because you have one partially petrified limb, go ahead and roll it one more time.
We'll say you have disadvantage.
Oh, no.
Chris, I don't think Gus is actually sorry for raining on your parade.
He's raining gemstones on my parade.
14.
It's raining gems.
Hallelujah.
You all are able to dodge out of the way of the falling gems from above without anything bad happening. We're going to break people's brains.
They're now just going to be saying gems for stuff now on.
I understand the irony of me saying this, but I really think Moog should control his temper.
As you all land on this platform, dodging out of the way of the falling gems,
out from the wall, which is partially excavated here,
two gray oozes begin emerging, oozing out from the cracks.
It's not the turquoise stuff.
No, no.
These are sentient.
Correct.
Are they, like, coming at us?
Yes. They're lunging your way. Probably, Barney, you have, like, coming at us? Yes.
They're lunging your way.
Probably, Barney, you have metal armor, don't you?
I do.
No, they lunge straight for you.
They like that.
All right.
I like metal.
Do you have time to react?
Yeah.
How would you deal with that?
I could have motivational speech. I'll cast sleep.
Again, the microphone's right in front of you. I'll cast... Sleep!
Again the microphones right in front of you. I'll cast sleep.
Which makes more sense for the spell you're casting. Sleep.
Gotta sleep!
That's how I put my kids to bed. Can I cast sleep? Yeah!
You told me you were doing it. You shouted it at me.
He's asking for mission, that's good.
I cast it.
Don't you have to roll like a...
Let me see here.
It's dice for HP.
So roll that dice.
I did it at second level.
Oh, you can't do that.
No?
Just kidding.
Oh.
Ha ha!
33.
Both oozes seem to stop moving and kind of lose their form a bit.
Bye bye!
Shh. Bye-bye.
As, you know, you finish dealing with those,
you can see kind of like a very faint orangish light not too far up above you.
Can I start flexing my arm?
Your arm with the turquoise on it?
Yeah, start loosening it.
You can't flex it.
It's totally covered, yeah.
It's okay. When it's all out
of that, you'll have a lucrative career
as a rookie in the baseball league.
Oh, yeah.
I climb past the oozes
quietly and
I whisper, twinkle, twinkle, little
ooze. We don't want to play with
yous.
I like
when other people sing songs
The orange light
Is it orange light coming from
What could be an exit to this place
That we're ascending
Or is it something coming from like a wall
It's not coming from the wall
But it's coming directly from above us
I also go up very gently and quietly
Yeah you all get up to the top
And realize that there's an exit
Up to the ground you all get up to the top and realize that there's an exit up to the ground above.
Cool.
Okay.
We get up.
A faint glimmer of sunset slumps past the horizon,
casting shadows across your surroundings.
You find yourselves back in the vast fields of fungi and wild grass.
The mountainous slug of Glurb is slogging away,
not but a hundred feet away.
About halfway between you and Glurby spot the Mould,
it immediately gives chase for the monumental slug
bounding across the fields.
We follow.
Can I follow?
Yeah.
Yeah, we'll follow.
I feel like we might have unleashed something
we should not have unleashed.
I feel kind of bad.
I don't really want to give up this poor little fella
to this phoenix.
I mean, I'm hoping that he takes care of the phoenix.
Yeah. Well, we'll see.
I follow as well.
As you all close in
and approach Glurb,
a flock of fowl lines once again appear
and begin flying above you all.
That's the things that we fought when we got off the
ship. Flying cats. Yeah, basically like flying
cats. Yeah.
Why would they, but we were bringing what they need.
They begin trying to grab at Barney as if to lift him up.
Why?
Wow.
Is it helping?
They raise you up.
All right, take it.
They lift Barney into the air and begin carrying him.
Don't cut that.
All my mistakes.
Own up to it.
They lift Barney and begin carrying him up to Glurb.
I believe I can fly.
Barney, I just am beginning to meet you.
More circle around Chip and lift him up as well.
Do you believe you can touch the sky?
I believe I can touch the sky.
The foul lines begin circling you
as well, Elga.
Okay, take me!
Let's do it! They lift you up and begin
carrying you, following Barney
and Chip. The fowl lines don't
seem that interested in you,
Mateed. Mateed, just use your own
wings! I believe you
can fly! I believe you can touch the
sky! Mateed attacks the entire family.
Mateed majestically ascends into the air in all of their glory.
Can I?
Somewhat subjective.
Who is more majestic, Mateed or the three of us?
Can I roll for a performance to see if I'm more majestic?
I'm going to make a strong bet that it's Mateed.
Just going with the sunset behind them.
It's definitely going to be a Matide because you, Barney, are not flying.
You're being carried.
Majestically?
I mean, yeah, but Matide powers their own flight.
I'm just imagining all the, what are they called?
Svats?
Cats?
Fowlines?
Fowlines are just holding me.
Not fowlines.
The fowlines are just holding me. That's fowl lines. The fowl lines are just holding me by the tail.
Like I'm like
just
just rear end up. Yeah. Yeah. Mateed does
like circles and figure
eights around them being carried.
Just to remind
people. Mateed we're just like you for real.
I start preparing a tiny hut.
No.
I'm a little dumb. I'm preparing a tiny hut, just in case.
You and your tiny huts.
They just drop.
Tiny hut.
What do we do?
You all are carried up,
and those of you who are being carried by foul lines
are tossed into the center of the plurza.
Magistically tossed.
Yeah.
You reach the wood-planked ramp
and follow it into the center of town.
You spot the tree-sized translucent mushroom towering over the tent canopy for Hexel's
blending ceremony, and it glints in the pale twilight.
In fact, it looks somewhat shinier than before.
And, phoom, a scorching sphoenix swoops down and lands atop the tent canopy, crushing it
into the ground with a crunch.
Oh, wow.
Well, where is the moon?
My patience wears thin.
Do you know? the crunch. Oh, wow. Well, where is the mood?
My patience wears down.
Do you not hear and see this giant thing running through the town?
Make a perception check.
Actually, all of you make a perception check.
Yeah, we got carried up.
Or you guys got carried up.
Mould was running towards the snail.
I don't see anything.
15.
6.
18.
Oh, plus 4?
Oh, I don't get plus 4. I don't know. Is it still within a minute? No, probably anything. 15. 6. 18. Ball plus 4? Oh, I don't get the plus 4.
I don't know.
Is it still within a minute?
No, probably not.
13.
So we got a 6 for Elga, a 15 for Chip, an 18 for Barney, and a 13 for Mateed?
Yeah.
Elga, a soft breeze sweeps a haze of smoke into your eyes, which makes it really difficult to see.
Mateed and Chip, you give the tree-sized mushroom a second look and notice not only that it's shinier than usual,
it's also more jagged and glowing with light.
Uh-oh.
Barney, you look around and see that local Glurbians
are inside their smoldering tent homes being guarded
by flying, fiery felines.
The blob is standing outside their home to the east,
flanked by two more fiery beasts.
Blob is outside.
But the giant mushroom has been turned into a big
gem. Mould touched it.
Maybe. Does it look like? It's shiny and
jagged. It's shiny and jagged? Yeah.
Sphoenix! Oh,
Sphoenix! You there?
Are you there, Sphoenix? It's me, Chip.
It just landed on and crushed
this tent. It's on its way.
Just out of curiosity, what do you plan on and crushed this tent. It's on its way. Just out of curiosity,
what do you plan on doing with this here mold?
What I do
with the mold
is of my
concern.
You're not nice.
I'm just going to put it out there.
Get him, Chip.
Now,
with the mold, now we're good friends.
And now if you tell us what you need.
Wait, wait, wait.
Who's good friends?
Us with the mold.
Okay.
We're good friends.
Now, if you need something from the mold, we'd like to know.
We maybe can help, you know, barter and build a relationship.
The deal is you bring me the mold and I
spare Claude.
The deal you've already
agreed to. Well,
and you don't think you
you're just gonna take the mold and go?
I will spare Claude.
Well, we did get mold.
We found mold and he
is running around. He was so fast.
We tried to play hide and seek, and so he's somewhere.
Yeah.
So it's maybe up to you to find him now, because we don't know where he is.
Well, I know where he is.
Where?
I'm not telling to tell Finks.
You be nice.
Finks?
Finks?
Finks?
Phoenix.
Phoenix?
Phoenix.
You got to be nice.
Finks? Phoenix? Phoenix. You got to be nice. Phoenix.
Can I look around and see if I can,
other than the hut that's been turned all jagged, can I?
Nope.
The mushroom.
Mushroom.
Can I open my senses and kind of just get a vibe for where the mold is?
Can he perceive where the mold is?
I didn't want to see it because you always get bullied.
I said I like it.
I said I like it.
Make an investigation check as you investigate
your surroundings. Let the record show that I like it
when Blaine says that. This is for a microphone
my microphone. Oh I should have gotten that
Investigation. They were sharing a microphone it was so beautiful
16. Your investigation
turns up something interesting
It appears that the mold has turned
the giant mushroom into a giant gemstone
and is eating it from within
What?
I call to it.
Rah!
Mood hungry!
Eat dinks!
This is the famous mood of life culture.
Eat that!
You'd think you'd know exactly what you were looking for
so desperately, but...
This is the food of life culture. You'd think you'd know exactly what you were looking for so desperately, but... I thought you'd be more than...
I am your new master, and as such I demand tribute.
Turn this forest spawn to gemstones.
Oh, come on.
Don't do it!
No, master.
No, dammit.
Then your hats.
You require a demonstration of my supremacy.
As Phoenix raises its blazing talons and strikes at the bejeweled mold with a...
Okay, okay.
You've had your fun with flames.
A skinless gray figure of brawny sinew and green veins steps out from a nearby tent.
Stand down, Sphoenix!
I have my own plans for the mood.
Or are you forgetting who's truly in charge of this glib and get-together?
My memory serves me quite well, in fact.
The Book of Daybreak is no more.
Therefore, your orders mean nothing.
You insubordinate scum.
Uh oh.
And with that, Asphoenix opens the Scorchu Maw and unleashes a tumultuous firestorm that consumes Eddie whole. What?
What happened, Zeddy?
Merci beaucoup.
Do not say what you want to listen to.
We're going to have to find out in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
He's fire resistant.
Tune in next week for the next episode and find out what happens.
Oh, man. What do we do? Do we just
stand there and watch them? Yeah.
It's a show. Until next week.
Alright, thanks for listening,
everybody. Thank you. Want to shout out some
listeners who signed up over at stinkydragonpod.com
slash first. Thank you so much for
directly supporting this show.
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Take advantage of all of those perks.
Also want to give a thanks to listeners who interact with us on social media and Discord
and had NPCs named after them in this episode, like Hexel, the Blob's offspring, named after AtEggs, the world destroyer on Instagram.
Additionally, this Phoenix is voiced by Christian Young.
Eddie is voiced by Andrew Rosas, at Mr. Andrew Rosas.
This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst,
written, edited, and composed by Michael Reisinger, with additional editing work by David Sanier.
Head over to stinkydragonpod.com slash first for all things stinky.
Tune in next time for
another thrilling episode
of Tales from the
Stinky Dragon. Good evening to all you Ethercaps.
Climb your way into the Stinky Dragon,
knock back our latest latte.
Tarantualto.
Tarantualto.
First try.
I practiced it a few times earlier today.
Turantulato.
Okay.