Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Gems of Glrrb - C02 - Ep 25 - Secrets And Summonings

Episode Date: November 28, 2023

The party helps the Moold fight the Sphoenix in hopes of saving Glrrb while Barney is reunited with an old friend and learns mysterious new information about his past! Support us at stinkydragonpod.c...om/first ! Join us on Discord: https://discord.gg/roosterteeth Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://shopify.com/dragon to sign up for a $1/month trial period. Go to http://uncommongoods.com/stinky to get 15% off. Go to https://mistymountaingaming.com and use code STINKYDRAGON to get a FREE acrylic dice set of your choice when you spend $20 or more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Rooster Teeth Production. Pinky Dragon knocked back our latest latte, making up for lost slime. It's a mixture of finely ground Espresso-dopod coffee, a dash of 2% Bilt, a grappling of sugar cubes topped with a few twists of lemon-faced victims. One slurp of this strong stuff, you'll never hit the sack again. Previously our adventurers met the monstrous Muldevander Globula, made a round-trip return back to the surface of Glurb, but this phoenix situation began to spiral out of control, and now the party is left to pick up the plasmoid pieces. Ooh, bring over a brew. Let's buckle up for this bedtime tale.
Starting point is 00:01:16 Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I am Gustavo Sorolla, the dungeon master of our putrid party. I'm going to hit our laughing four players with an arrow. This week's role-playing warm-up question is, what flavor is the color green to your character? The color green. I'm Chris Damaris. I play Barney Farney.
Starting point is 00:01:35 And for green, well, it tastes like... Say green one more time. Green. What was that? Anybody else want a rendition of Rainbow Connection sung by Barney Farney? Oh, my God. When I was a little boy, there was this apple tree nearby.
Starting point is 00:01:54 It was a Granny Smith apple tree. Oh. I used to pick those and eat them. And that's what green tastes like. So that's how he fell on his head. They had apples when you were a little boy. Interesting. Wow.
Starting point is 00:02:08 Just like mom used to make. Just like mom used to make. You and Axe may go next. Go for it, Blaine. All right. Hey there. It's Blaine Gibson. I'm playing.
Starting point is 00:02:16 Oh, wait. I'm playing. I'm Blaine Gibson and I play Chip Haney. He's a tiefling rogue and he's a level five. John, stop shaking your dang head at me. I get to have, see what you don't get to see is you don't get to see you as you do those things. It's awesome.
Starting point is 00:02:32 It's like watching a computer start and then stop and then start and then like blue screen for a second. Hey, I don't get to see myself and I forgot I had a mullet until about 10 minutes ago. It was like, oh, where'd that come from? until about 10 minutes ago. And I was like, oh, where'd that come from? And, oh, the flavor color green reminds me of dial soap.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Dial soap. You see, I was a bit of a potty mouth when I was a little boy. And old Linda Haney and her motherly wisdom, she'd put that bar of soap right in my mouth and cleaned it right out. And that's why you'll never hear Chip Haney say anything more harsh than shucks or gosh darn it so we're talking like a bar of soap like a big old bar you used to like chomp down on
Starting point is 00:03:13 yeah cause I was a little rapscallion child where'd that come from child child Sawyer was busting out help help and there's a little cyborg in there too it burns That Sawyer was busting out. That's what I was going to say. That Sawyer. Help! Help! And there's a little cyborg in there, too.
Starting point is 00:03:28 It burns! I'll go next. Hello! It is me, Elga Von Brass, if you know half of Vampire Barbarian. Played by Barbara Donkelman. Barbara, that's perfect. Best transition ever. And the color green, you know, reminds me of a lot of things.
Starting point is 00:03:47 But just like Barney, it also goes back to when I was a child. And my father used to make a broccoli, like a broccoli dish that had some cheese in it sometimes to make me and my sister actually want to eat it because we did not like vegetables. And so, yeah, whenever I think of green, that was it. Because that was really the only vegetables we would agree to eat, but because it had cheese in it. I just want to hear Elga say broccoli and vegetables over and over for the rest of my life. Vegetables? No.
Starting point is 00:04:17 It's horrible. Bonjour. My name is John Reisinger. I play Metis Confisus, who's the Eric Cochrane ghost monk. Blaine, you okay over there? Whenever you say your stuff, I lip it with my tiniest mouth and go You can mouth what his
Starting point is 00:04:33 intro is, but you can't enunciate your actual intro? He has my stats and class and everything memorized better. I put my friends before me. So giving. Can I roll an insight check on that statement? What does the color green mean to me? It's not a color.
Starting point is 00:04:59 I would say I eat very often, to be honest. So side question, since you phrased it that way, it made my brain go on a tangent. As a ghost, does Matide still taste things or are you like recollecting memories from before you were a ghost? I'd be so sad if you couldn't perhaps boogales? boogales?
Starting point is 00:05:16 genuinely I'm trying to figure out what you were saying. He said perhaps boogales boogers I didn't know if it was like burgers or something. I'm from Canada, so I understood. Yes, I can taste. As I can hear, I can see, I can do all that.
Starting point is 00:05:36 I can also taste. Okay, good. It's a color green. It tastes like, you know, I would say actually licorice. Green licorice, actually. Green licorice? Yes. Is there such a thing?
Starting point is 00:05:48 It's grotesque. It's grotesque. Yeah, there's green licorice. Or there was, it went from my memory. That's interesting, isn't it, Bonnie? What kind of flavors? What? Green has a disgusted look on his face.
Starting point is 00:06:01 You know what? I count that as a win that I confused him today. Okay? The start of the episode, he's confused. Green licorice. Yes. Green licorice. I've never heard of it. Well, it's, you know.
Starting point is 00:06:12 And green in French, as we all know, is? That. Oh, very good. Wow. Yeah. Très bien. Oh, what a polyglot of a group we've got going on here. Is that a word that Chip's allowed to say?
Starting point is 00:06:49 Go get the dial, young man. Mama, close your ears. What a polyglot of a group we've got going on here. Is that a word that chips allowed to say? Uh, you'd think you'd know exactly what you were looking for so desperately, but... Hmph. I thought you'd be more than... Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Force Spawn to Gen Stone. Oh, come on. Move! Don't do it! No, Master! No games! Then perhaps you require a demonstration of my supremacy. As Phoenix raises its blazing talons and strikes at the bejeweled mold with a Okay, okay. You've had your fun with flames. A skinless gray figure of brawny sinew and green veins steps out from a nearby tent.
Starting point is 00:07:28 Stand down, Phoenix. I have my own plans for the mood. Or are you forgetting who's truly in charge of this glib and get-together? My memory serves me quite well, in fact. The Book of Daybreak is no more. Therefore, your order is no more. Therefore, your orders mean nothing. You can support it, Skye. Uh-oh. And with that, Asphoenix opens the Scorching Maw
Starting point is 00:07:54 and unleashes a tumultuous firestorm that consumes Eddie. Oh, my goodness. Well, that takes care of that. I mean, maybe. What if he's fire resistant? He's skinless. Is Eddie dead? When the firestorm clears, it seems like Eddie is no longer there.
Starting point is 00:08:13 Oh, no. No body, no death. Barney, make a perception check. Okay. He's just not there or there's like ashes of him? There's ash everywhere. It's hard to say just because the whole area was engulfed in fire. Like one of them looney tunes where it's like a pile of,
Starting point is 00:08:28 in the form of a person and then it goes. 17. You notice that the keyhole on your book of even fall begins to pulsate with glowing light. Keyhole on the book of even fall. And you were able to open that with your clock? Yeah, with your locket. As the sun sets, it seems like the golden light pulsating from the book becomes stronger and stronger.
Starting point is 00:08:53 You stick your pocket watch in to unlock it, and the book seems to almost have a mind of its own. It opens up and seems to highlight one spell in particular. Summon Vespervein. Vespervein. Vespervein? And as you're looking at it, more text begins slowly appearing on the page below the summon spell. Can I read it?
Starting point is 00:09:11 Yeah. It says, The holder of this tome must possess a gemstone worth at least 500 gold pieces. Carve the sigil of the setting sun on the gemstone. At the fall of twilight, thrust the gemstone high in the air. They shall speak the incantation. Dawn be gone, but dusk remain. I call upon thee, Vespervane.
Starting point is 00:09:30 Hey. Everyone roll initiative. Oh, no. I was going to say from the last thing, I got a green gemstone when we met Mould for my wife, my lovely wife. I think it was worth like a thousand, wasn't it? I thought it was a hundred. Okay, just wanted to confirm. Was it thus begins the Vesper vein?
Starting point is 00:09:45 What was that? I call upon thee, Vesper vein. I call upon thee. I had a 13. 10. Va. 14. Okay.
Starting point is 00:09:52 Behind the scenes, I've got a new way for like tracking initiatives. So just give me a moment to write it all down. His technological way for doing it is a dry erase marker on a laminated piece of paper. We have a gemstone worth 50 gold pieces. Well, I hope you got friends. Well, maybe the mold could make us something amazing. That'd be neat. Do you think the mold is worth more than 500 gold pieces?
Starting point is 00:10:14 We would never sacrifice the mold. I'm not going to sacrifice him. We love the mold. I don't think Barney could raise it up also. Meta perspective, if we hold on to mold, he might be a new Smarsh. Mold is Prince? it up also meta perspective if we hold on to mold he might be news marsh mold is prince mold is bling mold is bling okay well the uh phoenix rolled a 24 so it's going first
Starting point is 00:10:46 like i said it just engulfed eddie in a firestorm. And it seems to be turning its attention over to the Mould. Is the Mould also an initiative? Yes. Okay, cool. Do you want to know who all is? Does it matter to you? I would like to know. I assume us for the Mould, Sphenix.
Starting point is 00:10:55 And Hexel. And Hexel. Yes, Hexel. So the Sphenix, you know, having just breathed a firestorm onto Eddie, just breathe a firestorm onto Eddie, switches to physical attacks, and lashes out at the mold with two fiery talons. Hitting AC, ooh, not great rolls, 11 and 18. Why is he attacking the mold if he needs the mold?
Starting point is 00:11:18 That's a good question. Make a wisdom check. Make him like, subdue him, I guess. Matee's making wisdom checks? Yeah. Yes. Matee, what do you know? Tell us.
Starting point is 00:11:27 That's only a nine. Oh. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. It's weird. Trying to subdue him. I think he's, yeah, he's just trying to like break his will. Guys, I wonder why this phoenix is attacking the mood. Make a wisdom check.
Starting point is 00:11:44 Ah, she's learning. Ooh, 20. Nice. If you had to guess, Elga, to a barbarian, all problems can be solved with physical violence by beating something to your will. And you think that that might be the angle this phoenix is taking here, trying to beat the mold of Underglobula into submission. Gotcha.
Starting point is 00:12:00 So one of the talons connects with the mold, hitting it for 10 points of fire damage. I think the AC on the Mould would be like super high because they're, you know, big old gym thing. The AC on the Mould is pretty decent. Yeah. Yeah. It's just the Sphynix is so gosh darn overpowered. All right, Matide, you're up after Matide is the Mould and then Elga.
Starting point is 00:12:22 Okay, so as far as Matide can see, the only combatant is the Sphoenix. Correct. Okay. Well, I said he pops back up. And Sphoenix is how far away and how high up? The Sphoenix is currently on the ground because it's engaged with the Mould currently. So from where you are, we'll say it's probably, you know, remember the Mould was in that giant crystalline mushroom. So that was maybe 20 to 30 feet in front of you.
Starting point is 00:12:47 Okay. To the north. Good luck on finding the gem. I'm going to go fight the cat. Mati dashes over, not dash, but dashes over to the Sphenix to enter into some cat on bird combat. Tail as old as time. So you're going right up close. I gots to.
Starting point is 00:13:04 Okay. Well, I don't have to. you're going right up close. I gots to. Okay. Well, I don't have to. You're right. Actually, ooh, ooh, that actually, I haven't gotten to use my Spear of the Superior Baker in the way that I want.
Starting point is 00:13:13 That's so awesome. And because I can, I can throw it. It has an ability called Harvest and I can throw the stick into the ground. I speak a common word that tells it to do what it's due
Starting point is 00:13:24 and gold-hewn arcane spikes resembling wheat briefly shoot from the ground in a 15-foot radius around the spear. Then they make a DC dex save or take some piercing damage. That's like a, you know, one of them reverse dagger storms. What do they call those?
Starting point is 00:13:40 Storm-cloaked smorbing dabbers? What? Smorb of dabbers? A lot Smoreb of Dabbers? A lot of people don't know that, but that Blaine was actually falling down some stairs as he said that. Who put these stairs in the recording studio? Trying to make a podcast. Could I, if I took an aerial vantage point,
Starting point is 00:13:56 could I then throw the spear in a way that it wouldn't get the Mould, but would get the kitty? Let me double check. What was the range on that again? The radius on it? It's a 15-foot radius is the harvest damage. Well, it also says all creatures of your choice have to make a dexterity saving throw. I love that.
Starting point is 00:14:12 And just to clarify, it says you speak a command word. What's the Matisse command word to call this forth? To cause it to do the harvest thing? Like a bread bakery pun. Yeah, because you use the action to speak a command word, and then you throw the spear into the ground, and that's what causes the harvest effect. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:32 I don't... Oh, man, I'm bad at this. I can toss you some meal, like rice, like dough, or bon appetit. By the power of Grayskull. By the power of Grayskull, that's always a good one. We can't do that. Sure, you can. Report you so?
Starting point is 00:14:48 Yeah. I hope you become... Are you ready for this? I said that as Bart. I was like... Whoops. Are you ready for this? This is so great!
Starting point is 00:15:05 Can you do it in song? Yeah. Song precedes that. Yep, don't do that. So, yeah, I throw it at him. Clues are on their way. And I guess that would mean what? To proc that, would that be I have to do an attack roll to throw?
Starting point is 00:15:24 Yes. Because the throw is the attack and then harvest is an ability that can proc from the attack correct your action is what allows you to speak command word and then stick or throw the spear it's all combined into one action okay so question still stands attack roll oh i see what you're saying no i'll say you just throw it because you're not trying to since it's a 15 foot radius you just have to get it near your target right so you're not rolling damage for unless you want to roll damage for the spear as well that's what i'm asking is it can that be in the same yeah yeah absolutely in that case yeah that's the attack then i'm gonna i'm gonna throw
Starting point is 00:15:55 i'm gonna skewer this kitty bird kitty i am the only one with wings around yeah and then i know this is 1d8 plus 6 if i two-hand it. Does that count for throws? No, that's if you're using it like a versatile weapon in a melee capacity. Ooh, that's going to be a hard one. Is that 28? Does that work? Acting. Yes, believe it or not, a 28 does hit.
Starting point is 00:16:20 Oh, bleep. Linda, get the soap. The dial soap. Okay, cool. And then I will roll for the pokey damage. That's eight. Eight points of pokey damage. And then I will do my, the DC check is, oh, it's in my inventory.
Starting point is 00:16:39 Sometimes when I eat raw fish, I get the pokey damage. You get it. Nice, nice. Oh, I get it. Expression die if pokey damage. You get it. Nice. Expression die if you don't have it. Hey! Hey! I needed that so badly.
Starting point is 00:16:50 I think now it just procs, right? I have to make the save? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I was looking for, what the DC save is. So the dexterity save and throw is your key DC, which looks like for you, it would be... 14. Okay, DC 14. This phoenix has dexterity plus 7, so it needs a 7 or better.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Come on, 7 or worse. 13. This phoenix hears your pun, your bakery-related pun, and is able to dodge out of the way of the growing wheat. No, it doesn't. Why not? It takes half damage. Nani? So, 3.
Starting point is 00:17:22 3. Yeah! It takes some damage. It all adds up. It adds up. Three. Yeah. It takes some damage. It all adds up. Okay. It took at yeast three damage. Oh, man. I bow to the superiority of Barbara's punified head. You are lying.
Starting point is 00:17:39 I generally think it's clever. Thank you. Okay. So anything else? Oh, and if you want, just FYI, there is an additional feature on your spear. I know. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:17:50 To recall it? Yeah. Yeah, but that takes a bonus action or an action. It says as part of an attack or bonus action. So you could use it as part of an attack. Right. Oh, yeah. Then I recall it.
Starting point is 00:18:01 It's kind of like that guy from Guardians of the Galaxy, like whistles and his little thing goes back? Yeah, but with Matide, with the description of it, it's actually, the spear actually explodes like into particles of chaff and then appears in my hand. That's cool. That's canon? Yeah, that's actually in the description. Super
Starting point is 00:18:17 gay part. I thought you were going to ask, you know, like that guy in Guardians of the Galaxy, Thor? That also would make sense. But yeah, the Spear of Superior Baking, it reappears in my hand. Looks awesome. What do you say? Allons-y.
Starting point is 00:18:32 Good, that's good. What is that? Bless you. It's kind of like French for let's go. Let's go. Oh, zoomer matide. I just keep thinking that. What?
Starting point is 00:18:40 You should have a bread-based attack insult every time you attack. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to need to just make a library of these attack insult every time you attack. Yeah. I'm going to need to just make a library of these. We can all work on it together. And if you have a good one, you can put it into our Discord on there. And if you put it in the first slot, I'll see it easiest. We'll leave you in the crust.
Starting point is 00:19:00 There you go. Or this is going to hurt so much, you're going to wet the bread. Yeah, or this is gonna hurt so much you're gonna wet the bread I feel like this entire conversation was just so you could say that Lay in the tracks Now I'm gonna zoom in and cast flurry of blows Well, Matita's old remember we went over this Yeah, this is second action cuz don't you have to melee attacks? Or do you just have two attacks in general? This is a bonus action.
Starting point is 00:19:26 Oh, wow. Oh, wait. I do have two attacks. Well, but if it's melee, I think. Yeah. I have two attacks per action. Yeah. The spear, everything in the spear was an attack.
Starting point is 00:19:38 Yeah. So now I can attack again. Oh, I thought it was just melee attacks. No, so it's whether or not you're taking an attack action. So firing a bow or swinging an axe, those are both attack actions. Guess what I want to do? I want to throw the spear again. Can you do that again?
Starting point is 00:19:53 Actually, I think I can only harvest. I think there's a limitation on the harvest. Yeah, like once a season. Yeah. I've got to wait a year. Oh, my God. No, twice for long rest. I'm throwing the spear again.
Starting point is 00:20:04 I mean, there's an enemy to do it. It's this. It's this phoenix. It's this dorkus here. It's the one that Chris knows how to say. And as I throw it, I say, Monsieur Phoenix, do not wet the bread. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:18 There it is. I did that just to get Chris's reaction. Mission accomplished. Well, he was in the corner trying to say Sphoenix, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Is that what he was doing? His head was away from the mic looking. He was practicing.
Starting point is 00:20:33 He's going, wait, wait, clear, clear. No, I don't want to. It's too much pressure. Continue your attack. Okay. I will do another attack roll with the spear Your simple little mind forgot there's a giant microphone in front of you. He thought he got away with it.
Starting point is 00:21:09 So perfect. Can't even plan stuff like that. That's a 27. Yeah, that also barely hits like your last roll. Yeah, and so I'll roll for the damage. That's only seven. Okay. And then I will proc the harvest, which is what the phrase was for.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Say it. I said do not wet the bread. Do I have to be the same one every single time? Oh, I figured it was like a singular command phrase you use every time. No. You're toast. Like an action search. It just has to be a bread-related pun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something we've never done in our D&D stuff. No bread-related pun characters. Nope, can't think
Starting point is 00:21:40 of a time we did those. Alright, so I'm gonna roll a DC 14 dex save. Please do that. So I need a 7 or better. There's going to be people who never watched our RTD&D thing we did years ago who are going to be like, they didn't do bread puffs. They're talking about it. They're better off
Starting point is 00:21:55 for it because they didn't have to encounter Chris' little goblin character. Lunko. Lunko. Lunko. So I rolled an 8 plus 7, 15 so I barely make the save. So half damage? Yeah, why not? I love Lunko. Youunko! So I rolled an 8 plus 7, 15, so I barely make the save. So half damage? Yeah, why not? I love Lunko. You were the only one.
Starting point is 00:22:12 Yeah, we all hated him. I'm just kidding. He's 5. You rolled 10, so half of that is 5. Yeah. I can do math. I'm just explaining for our listeners. They don't see the 10.
Starting point is 00:22:23 That's why. You said 5. I'm saying that that's half of the damage. You guys, it's the theater of the mind. No, do you know what it was? This is Gus going, the audience needs to know the math. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:38 They need math. He thinks that's like water for people. I'm pushing my glasses up by the bridge. And so, oh man, do I want to actually rush in and do anything or do I want to stay? Tell me what you want. What you really, really want. What I want is to
Starting point is 00:22:54 yeah, why not? I'm sure my friend Elga will join me soon in the melee. Let's go. Sometimes we have ranged attacks too. Do you? Oh yeah. Can I actually leave it? Because I rolled that attack to throw the spear at this phoenix.
Starting point is 00:23:10 Right. And so I want to leave the spear in this phoenix. Oh. Okay. Yeah. And I want to rush forward. Now, you tell me what I have to do to accomplish this. Before you proceed, when you use harvest, does that make your spear fall apart?
Starting point is 00:23:24 No. The recall is a separate thing. Gotcha. Okay. Sorry, go ahead. No, it can throw, and I have to, yeah, Micah's nodding. I have to recall it, or I can leave it there. So if I wanted to rush in, and I wanted to do a flurry of blows, which is melee attacks on it,
Starting point is 00:23:40 what happens if I ask, can I kick the spear? Can I kick it? Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. I don't know. I'm just trying to see if there's anything to be done as far as like bonus. If there's a weapon embedded in a creature and you attack the weapon. Normally, D&D doesn't allow for that.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Like the rules are to keep things broad, but sure, why not? Let's have fun, right? Okay. Well, then I'm just going to still just do my unarmed strike and you can tell me what comes of that. Yeah. Then we'll figure it out. We'll talk through it. Flurry of Blows. You can spend
Starting point is 00:24:07 a ki point to... Gonna make one of them Sphoenix kebabs. Delicious. So I get two more unarmed strikes. Thank God. I know. It's, again, it is what I'm here to do. I feel like I'm playing D&D wrong. You guys always have so many cool things you can do in action.
Starting point is 00:24:23 You've got so many. You've got multiple attacks. Attacks per action. You can turn into like different forms of the beast. You've got bitiness. And I can hide. That's kind of the whole point of the monk is like mastery of the body. Yeah. And like physical, like the pinnacle of physical fitness and just like really being in tune with it, being super fast, super strong.
Starting point is 00:24:46 What I always think of is like Bruce Lee in a Bruce Lee movie. Yeah. Just like super strong and super quick and able to get in there and precisely strike exactly what you want to do. And while I'm low HP because of bad rolls, I have fairly high AC to be able to get in there for melee attacks. Okay. Which I get from not wearing armor, oddly enough. Because my body is so strong. You gotta have a little downside. You are pure muscle, my dude.
Starting point is 00:25:09 And all legs. So I'm gonna roll for my first one. 22. 22. That hits. Okay. I'll roll for the damage of that, which is 9. They connect and do 9 points of damage. Got it. Okay. And does that do anything by going for the spear?
Starting point is 00:25:26 I was going to resolve it after all your attacks, if that's okay. Then I shall do my last one, which is a 24. That hits. Nine. Nine. Got it. Okay. Well, I guess, you know, as part of it, I just wanted to make sure, the reason we're
Starting point is 00:25:36 resolving like any spear attack, a follow-up after your attacks is just to make sure that these attacks land. We'll just clear them up and then say like, so as part of your you try to what like punch the spear like twist the spear like what's your angle here i maybe it's mostly like i want to kick where the spear wound is oh like uh like rubbing salt in the wound yeah or like moving a knife around in some side somebody ouch i mean that's what the spear is the spear is like in the cat yeah make a dex check let's say just to see if you're able to hit the spear because it's like a very precise area you're trying to strike.
Starting point is 00:26:09 Sure. That's a 23. Oh, yeah, you're definitely able to hit it. And you're like trying to like wiggle the spear around in the wound. Let's say roll like an additional, we'll call it a D6 of damage. I'll take it. You're being kind. That's one.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Whatever. I was trying to decide D6 or D4. Didn't matter in the end. And with that, the Sphoenix explodes. The Sphoenix does not like that. We've just been watching from afar going, wow. Mateed leans in real close to the Sphoenix's ear and just says, yeah, kitty, kitty.
Starting point is 00:26:45 I'm sure it loves that. Well, that's fine. Jacques pops its head out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, Jacques growling. Oh, okay. You said, ear kitty kitty. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:54 Summons him. Is that it for Matide? Yes. I curtsy and move on. I dare you to find another way to attack. I dare you. It is the Mould's turn. After the Mould is Elga and then Barney.
Starting point is 00:27:05 Just that little heads up. You got it. The Mould seems entirely focused on this Phoenix at this point. This Phoenix did hit it. It's trying to exert its control over the Mould, and the Mould does not seem to be interested in that, to say the least. Yeah, the Mould begins, like, shining very intensely. Like a diamond?
Starting point is 00:27:25 Maybe it wasn't as apparent before. Maybe it's just increasing now. Just like you can tell that it almost seems like magic light is originating off of the mold itself. Like Edward Cullen. Sure. Okay, yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:41 Elga's familiar. You a big fan, Elga? What? No. I did not have a poster. Don't's familiar. You a big fan, Helga? What? What? No. I did not have a poster. Don't perceive me. Look away. Hover your eyes, Marion.
Starting point is 00:27:54 The mold seems to launch a volley of gemstone shards into the air, like out of its back. And they all fire in the direction of the Sphoenix. Sphoenix seeks to make dexterity. I like how now Gus is just playing D&D with himself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys get out of here. And then this one does that. And then that kiss.
Starting point is 00:28:17 And then he does Phoenix. I was a very lonely child. I played many board games and other various games by myself, so I'm very happy to have friends to play D&D with now. With Barbies. I'm pretty sure our friend Elise has admitted to, who's the voice of Hexel, has admitted to doing that as well with just board games. Oh, yeah. Chris and I used
Starting point is 00:28:33 to make videos with our toys, we found out while writing Stinky Dragon Feather. Yeah. Stinky Dragon Avengers is available now. Yeah, we both have, like, from high school and middle school action figure, like, videos. This is this! The shower of gemstones flies disturbingly close to you, Mateed, but seems to narrowly avoid hitting you.
Starting point is 00:28:54 I do a beautiful ballet dance to avoid them. This phoenix barely fails its saving throw, so it takes some damage here. 11 points of piercing damage. How's this phoenix looking right now? Mad. Oh. Angry. Fiery. Burning eyes. Blames. So no change. Okay guys. Inside of my face. Then the uh the mold rushes in and tries to pound at this phoenix with its fist. Sphenix with its fist, with a gemstone fist. Cool.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Hitting. Oh, yeah. Hits AC 17. That hits. Doing additional piercing damage. 15 points of damage. And that's it. So the Mould at this point is also pretty close to you, Matit,
Starting point is 00:29:42 since it also ran in to do some melee attacks on the Sphenix. Go Mould. You're our guy. Make that Sphenix neverenix. Go mold, you're our guy. Make that phoenix never fly. Go mold. Go mold, you're our guy. Make that phoenix... Never mind. That was the two versions of
Starting point is 00:29:56 like a performance check, pass and fail. Alright, that's it for the mold. Elga, you are up. Hello. Then Barney. I would like to rage, please. it for the mold. Elga, you are up. Hello. Then Barney. I would like to rage, please. Yes, one rage. I'm going to take the form of the beast with the tail.
Starting point is 00:30:14 Oh. I'm just going to point that out. Twins. Oh, yeah, we both have tails. Mine's a little bigger. Okay. It's okay. Don't be intimidated.
Starting point is 00:30:24 Matisse yells from over in the back, I have a tail too. Barney, show us your tail. Go on. Now show us your tail. I wish. Someday, Barney. It's okay.
Starting point is 00:30:36 It'll grow in. How many feet are we away from Phoenix now? You're at the starting point still, so I'd say you're somewhere between 20 and 30 feet away. Okay. Can I run up between 20 and 30 feet away. Okay. Can I run up about 20, 30 feet to get right up on the Phoenix? And the Mould and Mateed as well, so you're in that general mix. And I would like to use my Great Axe of Gaining to swipe at this Phoenix using Slashing Damage.
Starting point is 00:31:02 All right. Ooh! I'm going to use my Inspiration Die. That was a one. That was a. Ooh. I'm going to use my inspiration die. That was a one. That was a critical fail. I'm going to do that again. 4A. 25.
Starting point is 00:31:12 Woo! That hits. Okay. Big difference. And that does. That's a bit. That seems wrong. Eight points of slashing damage.
Starting point is 00:31:20 I felt the same way looking at mine because the last time we played, we were playing with our level 16 characters. Yeah, I think that's why. You also have a bonus to that because of your raging though, don't you? Yes. It's like a D something. I do. Go, Elga! You're our girl! Make that Sphenix barf and hurl!
Starting point is 00:31:37 Go, Elga! That's a good one, Chip! We got one more. Roll thirds to see if it's clear so that I need one more cheer. It's a plus two to my attacks. That would be a ten. Ten points of damage. Yes. All right.
Starting point is 00:31:49 Yeah, this phoenix, you can tell, is definitely aware of your presence now. But guess what? Attacks per action, two. I'm going to do it again. Get ready to be more aware of me. For a 22. That hits. Doing, this time, 16 plus two, so 18 points of me. For a 22. That hits. Doing
Starting point is 00:32:05 this time 16 plus 2, so 18 points of damage. Ow. I don't like that. Can you do that like a cat, Gus? Meow. I don't like that.
Starting point is 00:32:14 Meow. Ow. All right. Is that it for you, Elga? I believe that will be it for me. Keep it simple. Rage is your bonus
Starting point is 00:32:23 and then two attacks. Yeah. Nice. Do you want to say something to your bonus and then two attacks. Yeah. Nice. Do you want to say something to the Phoenix? Yeah. Stop. Oh, wow. The Phoenix recoils in terror.
Starting point is 00:32:35 That's right. Scared the cat. Right, guys? Roll for intimidation. Jock kisses. Yeah. Gus just rolled three D100s. roll for intimidation. Jock kisses. Yeah. Gus just rolled three D100s.
Starting point is 00:32:49 Elgo becomes pancake. Salutations, you little stinkers. John here. Mateed's a little busy making the baguettes today, so I'm the one here to give you guys some updates on what's going on in the stinky world. I hope you're already watching it, but if you're not, we've got
Starting point is 00:33:04 our brand new full-length puppet video series, Stinky Dragon Adventures airing for free for everybody at stinkydragonpod.com. We put a lot of heart and hard work into the show and we'd love you to enjoy it. And if you love it so much, you want to support the show, you can actually do that by becoming like one of our patrons. We call them our first members and you can do that all at stinky dragon pod.com slash first. You get access to all kinds of fun perks. Like you can listen to the show with no ads. You can watch our bonus show called second wind where we like dive into the episode and talk about lore and unanswered questions. You get access to these monthly subscriber events. Like we do live streams or we do discord events in our personal discord you get access to like exclusive merch that's coming up and we got a brand new show just for
Starting point is 00:33:51 our first members called show me the magic it's an exclusive behind the scenes look with blaine and chris as they sit down with like various cast and crew to talk about how stinky dragon adventures was made and on top of all of that news, we've also got new merch in our store, which I'm so excited about. We got a Stinky Dragon Adventures puppet t-shirt. Looks like a cool band t-shirt a little bit. Looks a little bit like Weezer. If you're a Weezer fan like me,
Starting point is 00:34:16 you'll have a little chuckle when you see it. We also have enamel pins coming out. We have a Gum Gum one. We have a Bart one. And they all have like these stats for their level one characters on the back of the packaging. So it's a little bit of a little secret for you if you buy the enamel pins. We've also
Starting point is 00:34:31 got, since it's the holidays, we've got Sneaky Dragon Wrapping Paper. How cool is that? And speaking of holidays, we've got deals going on in our store, so this is the time to get our stuff. December 13th, it's your last chance to buy merch and have it arrive before Christmas. And we've got deals happening throughout the rest of
Starting point is 00:34:49 the year, like buy one, get one free deals and discounts with percentage off and more. All of that is at store.roosterteeth.com. And finally, please interact with us on our Discord. You can find it at discord.gg slash roosterteeth, or you can talk to us via our socials at stinky dragon pod. Those are also where we pull NPC names for characters in the show. So maybe I'll show up in the show. Wouldn't that be cool? Let me ask you a question. What comes to mind when you think about easy decisions?
Starting point is 00:35:17 I know when I think about that, I think like choose the aisle seat on an airplane. Always say yes when someone is offering dessert. And of course, selling with Shopify. In case you don't already know, Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business. Shopify currently powers 10% of all e-commerce in the US, as well as millions of other entrepreneurs of every size across 175 countries. From the launch your online shop stage to the first real life store stage, all the way to the, did we just hit a million order stage? Shopify is there to help you grow. No matter where you're selling, Shopify has you covered from their all-in-one e-commerce
Starting point is 00:35:58 platform to their in-person POS system. And once you start selling, Shopify makes getting paid simple by instantly accepting every type of payment. We use Shopify for our own store. It's how you can get our merch. And so we're a big fan of Shopify and hope that you check it out too. You can do that and sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash dragon, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash dragon now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. That is Shopify.com slash Dragon. It's officially time to kickstart your holiday shopping.
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Starting point is 00:37:25 They've donated more than $2.5 million to date. So to get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com slash stinky. That's uncommongoods.com slash stinky for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer. Uncommon Goods, we're all out of the ordinary. Today's episode is sponsored by Misty Mountain Gaming. Misty Mountain Gaming Dice Company has an incredible catalog of dice in all sorts of materials like stone, resin, glass, and even metal. And they also have tons of specialty sets like their Ragnar's Bone Dice Set or Legends of Valhalla Hollow Metal Dice Set or Elder Runees blackout metal dice set, and even more. Their
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Starting point is 00:38:34 They even sent us some custom dice just for us and our characters. Some were metal, some were bone. They were beautiful. We highly recommend you checking them out. They were even at our convention this last year, RTX 2023. Big fans of this company. Our friends at Misty Mountain have an exclusive offer for our listeners.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Just go to mistymountaingaming.com and use code STINKYDRAGON. All one word for a free acrylic dice set of your choice when you spend $20 or more. That's mistymountaingaming.com and use code STINKYDRAGON. That's mistymountaingaming.com and use code STINKYDRAGON Alright, if that's it for Elga then it is Barney after Barney is Hexel and then Chip. A rare last slot for Chip Haney. I might go
Starting point is 00:39:16 I think in a recent second when Blaine even told me he's like actually it's really good if I go first in combat because I have a little bonus and he's just not at all. He's just doing the smile and nod thing right now. I'm just here to support the team. Yeah, you are with your cheers.
Starting point is 00:39:31 Yeah. Wait till you hear Barney's. The gemstones that spewed from the mold. Were any of those looking like they were expensive? Can Barney quickly appraise the thing? He pulls out a jeweler's wand. Interesting strategy. Make a...
Starting point is 00:39:50 I'll let you make the call here, Barney, whatever you want. Make either a perception or investigation check. Are either of those good for Barney? I'm guessing no, which is why I gave him the option. Yes. Really? Perception. That's a 23.
Starting point is 00:40:05 Oh. Nice. You look around, you know, trying to see if any of the gem shards that shot out might be valuable. I presume you're looking, you're trying to figure out if any of them are worth over 500 gold if I had to guess. Yeah. In this economy? While none of the shards themselves seem to be
Starting point is 00:40:24 really worth much, they're more like chips and little bits of gems, you do notice that Hexel has a rather large Topaz gemstone floating within them. Oh. Convenient. Hexel, I'm going to need your big stone. Luckily, since you have an Akiat and Hexel's right after you in the initiative, Hexel's still right next to you.
Starting point is 00:40:45 He doesn't change his volume, though. Yeah. What's Hexel say? Hexel says. Sure. You can have it. Okay. Then can I reach in and grab it?
Starting point is 00:40:56 Yeah. Hexel. Go ahead. Tickle, tickle, tickle. No, no. Consent is good. The topaz kind of like shifts and moves within Hexel and then kind of like comes to the edge
Starting point is 00:41:08 and begins poking out a little bit from Hexel's oozing body. I know how that goes. I've had kippy stones. Ouchies. Was it worth 500 gold pieces? No, not at all. Probably cost a lot. In pain, yeah. And then, so I'll take
Starting point is 00:41:23 Hexel's emotional pain stone. What kind of gemstone did I say it was? Oh, all right. I just said it. Topaz? Yeah, it was. I just wanted to whisper that. I did. I was going, toe, toe, toe.
Starting point is 00:41:40 I was going to be very disappointed. And then I go, and then I hold up. I possess the stone. You have to draw a stone. You have to draw. You have to draw. I know. I carve a single.
Starting point is 00:41:57 The sigil. I carve the sigil of the setting sun onto the tombstone using my carpenter tools. He's in party voice. Carpenter tools. Okay. What kind of carpenter tools? Well, you know, like a little thing that you scrape wood with. Chisel.
Starting point is 00:42:17 All this in the middle of combat. Like. Very good. And then, is it the fall of twilight? Timewise yeah yeah it's roughly that time but i'll tell you what make me a um slight of hand check yeah chris is going straight into doing the task yeah he's just skipping well we're like mid-battle no no i think this is good he turns his back on everyone and uh yeah sits down with the topaz yeah go. Go Barney, you're the dude, show that Sphynx attitude! Go Barney!
Starting point is 00:42:48 Go Barney! Oh no. Uh, I wanna use my inspiration die. What'd you roll? I rolled a seven. He failed. A seven. I'm inspired by that chair.
Starting point is 00:43:01 There you go. The chair? Chair. Chair. Go Barney!. Go, Barney. Barney, Barney. Green. Green. Green.
Starting point is 00:43:13 20. Oh, okay. Yeah. You know, at first your hands are pretty shaky. Maybe nerves, maybe old age, maybe a combination of both. But, you know, you're able to shake it out and settle them. And even though you don't have quite the right tools, you're able to carve a sigil of the setting sun into the top of this topaz.
Starting point is 00:43:29 And then... Dawn begun, but dusk remain. I call upon the Vesper Vane. Yeah, Barney's muttering nonsense. What? That's exactly what you said the first thing. As you say that, seemingly out of nowhere, clouds, mist, dust begin to congeal and form a spirit of a giant twilight dragon.
Starting point is 00:43:53 Ooh. It begins manifesting itself. You feel compelled to point somewhere for it to congeal, Barney. Like as in where it takes shape or to like... Yeah. I guess right next to that there That there. Phoenix. You did. Is it? You had it first.
Starting point is 00:44:14 Try it. Phoenix. Yeah, you got it. You keep doing it right and then saying it again wrong and then saying it again a third way. Always Sphinx. I don't... Okay, is there anything I picked there? So close to this phoenix,
Starting point is 00:44:29 it all congeals and forms into the spirit of Vespervein, the Twilight Dragon. It roars as it takes corporeal form. Oh! I really hope this thing is an ally. Me too! If Banich summoned another combatant, we are screwed. It's like they're all fighting each other, though.
Starting point is 00:44:51 But Elga and I are just in the middle of it right now. I'm watching Gus drop the thing into combat in initiative order. He's having to write it so, so small. I did this to myself. This twilight dragon has scales that are half golden, half indigo. It's like a Mardi Gras dragon. Okay.
Starting point is 00:45:14 So that was my action. Yes. And I guess as what I am too. It's because they got horns. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Minnesota. That's what I am too It's cause they got horns Oh yeah And Minnesota The magical dungeons in Dragon Land
Starting point is 00:45:31 Of Minnesota As my bonus action He did say that A little bit like As my bonus action I will It is very snake What are you gonna do Use my telekinetic I feel really impressive I will... It is very snake.
Starting point is 00:45:45 What are you going to do? Use my telekinetic shovel. That's actually really impressive. He's always going to make it. He definitely doesn't practice that at home. Yeah, I'll use my telekinetic shovel. Telekinetic shovel. You know what? I didn't know I'd hear a new pronunciation of telekinetic today. Use my Tenel Kinetic Shove. Tenel Kinetic Shove. You know what?
Starting point is 00:46:07 I didn't know I'd hear a new pronunciation of telekinetic today. Tenel sounds like we learned something. We learned something. Tenel Kinetic. Ah, Tenel Kinetic. Nadel Dazeen. Yeah, very much so. That's saying.
Starting point is 00:46:17 All right, what are you doing with the telekinesis? All right, Tenel Kinetic Shove. I don't know. Can I push that? I guess I can't really attack with it. Matit points to their spear in the... Can I do that? Can I do that? I don't know. Ask him. Canide points to their spear in the cat insight. Can I do that? I don't know. Ask him. Can I telekinetic shove it
Starting point is 00:46:27 or push it in and grind it or twist it with my... Pull it! And bought it! As a bonus action, you can try to telekinetically shove one creature you can see within 30 feet of you. When you do so, the target will succeed on a strength saving throw or remove five feet toward
Starting point is 00:46:43 you or away from you. A creature can willingly fail the save. I'm going to allow the Sphoenix to try to make the save against you just because we're kind of outside the rules a little bit. He is a fair god. So eight plus your proficiency bonus. That's 16. Oh, it's a total of 16? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:47:02 Strength. Is the Sphoenix strong? Let's find out. The giant beast providing? No, it's actually not as strong as of 16? Yeah. Okay. Strength. Is this Phoenix strong? Let's find out. The giant beast we're fighting? No, it's actually not as strong as I would have thought. Okay. Yeah, it fails the save. You rolled a 6.
Starting point is 00:47:11 So I'll say that I rolled a 6. We'll say you're able to telekinetically shove the spear and wiggle it around a little bit. Roll a... Well, since we had Mateed do a d6, we rolled a d6 for some damage there. I won! The tradition continues. Once again, I was wrestling with d6 or d4. Didn't matter.
Starting point is 00:47:32 Everything's coming up Barney. Anything else, Barney? That's it. Be nice, dragon, please! Guess whose turn it is! Is that what you said? I think it is Hexel's turn. Please be nice, dragon.
Starting point is 00:47:46 Dragon. The dragon seemed to be looking at Barney. It teams up with the spheenix. Oh, no. And it was told to be nice. To us, not to the spheenix. Spheenix. Spheenix.
Starting point is 00:48:00 Yeah, okay. It's the spheenix. Oh, not the spheenix. The... Hexel. Vesperi. Vespervane. Oh, it's now in the initiative order. Oh, this is called the Vespervane? Vespervane, okay. It's the Sphoenix. Not the Sphoenix. The Vespervein. Oh, it's now in the initiative order. Oh, this is called the Vespervein?
Starting point is 00:48:10 Vespervein, yeah. Looks at you a little confused for a second, then looks back at the Sphoenix and sees your friends fighting it. What do you mean, that guy? It doesn't say that. No, no, no. It has to say that. 10-4. I want this to be the most casual, No, no, no. Got it. It has to say that. Ten four.
Starting point is 00:48:25 I want this to be the most casual, like, legendary creature ever. Play. Hey, no cap? Oh, man. We're so old in this room. We're so old. All right. in. We're so old in this room. We're so old.
Starting point is 00:48:44 Alright. Vespervane lets out a roar and attempts to try to claw at this phoenix. Get him. Yeah. Get him. Get him. But misses and hits Elga. 19. That hits.
Starting point is 00:48:59 Yeah. Not Elga. Not Elga. A doing. Ooh. Cold damage. Ooh. Whoa. Vespervane's cold. Thanks. Probably good against Not Elga Not Elga Doing Ooh Cold damage Ooh Whoa Vesper Vein's Cold Zyx Probably good against The uh
Starting point is 00:49:10 16 points Of cold damage He hits him and goes Sheesh Sorry I'll stop We're so old That it's like
Starting point is 00:49:18 A novel You know Little thing Whenever we say Modern sling It's terrible Then Vesper Vein says Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:49:29 It's now come full circle. And I hate it. I feel like it's okay when Gus does it. And tries to bite at this phoenix. Unfortunately, on its bite attack, Vespervein rolled a four, which is a miss. It's okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:45 And that's it for Vespervein. Then it's Hexel's turn. Ooh. Chip's just like... Go, Hexel. You're made of goo. Here is a cheer I made for you. Oh, that's actually very good.
Starting point is 00:50:00 Hexel really likes that. Oh, thanks, Chip. Here, let me help you too. Hexel rips off a piece of their body and attaches it to you, giving you an extra pseudopod. A little helping handopod. So that'll give you advantage
Starting point is 00:50:14 on an ability check or attack roll. You know, earlier in the campaign, I did want to put a hand on my tail, so. Would you rather Hexel put it on your tail? Yeah, put it on my tail. Does it make a little hand? Yeah. Hexel puts the hand on your tail, then high-fives it.
Starting point is 00:50:27 Wahoo. Whippy. Oh, there it is. Blurble gerbil. Whippy. So, yeah, you have advantage on one ability check or attack roll. Cool. All right, everyone, let's just all pay attention
Starting point is 00:50:39 and give Blaine a moment to actually play the D&D. Here we go. The spotlight comes down. Yeah, one attack, and oh, boy, I'm going to use it. So, yeah, it's Chip's turn, then after Chip going actually play the D&D. Here we go. The spotlight comes down. Yeah, I want to attack, and oh boy, I'm going to use it. So yeah, it's Chip's turn, then after Chip going back to the top to Sphenix. Okay, so there are folks that are close to the Sphenix, yeah? Yes.
Starting point is 00:50:53 Like quite in craft. Yeah. Okay, then I shall use the arm blade of blurbling. 14. Does that miss? That's an attack roll on the Sphenix. That actually hits. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:51:04 So that does 1d8 plus 2. I think that's roll on the Phoenix that actually hits. Oh, okay. So that does 1d8 plus 2 I think that's slashing? So that's 7. And then I also do a 1d4 acid damage. 7
Starting point is 00:51:14 I'm just going to start totaling this up. 7 points of slashing. Plus a d4 odette damage. That's 3. 3 points of acid damage. And because I'm one of them
Starting point is 00:51:24 sneaky deaky rogues, I have that thing called Wait for it It's the thing where when people are within five feet I can get advantage and stuff. Sneak attack? Yeah, once you can deal an extra 3d6 damage to one creature you hit with an attack with the finaster range weapon if you have advantage on the attack roll You don't need advantage on the attack roll if any other enemy of the target is within five feet of it. Yep. Alright, so I'm going to roll that 3d6. Those aren't bad rolls. That's a 15.
Starting point is 00:51:49 6, 5, and 4. That is really good. Yep. So that's that. And then, uh, I think with that being said, I'm probably just going to use cunning action to hide. Okay. Tiptoe away. Hee hee hee. Do you use the hand on your tail to put it in front of your lips
Starting point is 00:52:05 and go, shh? Yeah. I'm sneaky. You don't get it, sheer Sphoenix. Do I need to do any sort of like... No, that just allows you to remain hidden, so someone has to make a perception check if they want to try to see you. Okay. Actually, I'll tell you what, make a stealth roll just so I have it for posterity here.
Starting point is 00:52:21 Bob, roll to 19. Okay. Sphoenix. So a lot has happened since Sphoenix's last turn. here. Bob, roll a 19. Okay. It's Phoenix. So a lot has happened since Phoenix's last turn. The battle has changed quite a bit. War. War has changed. It's going to take a slightly different approach here. It changes sides. It's our
Starting point is 00:52:37 friend now. And we're all fighting together against the forces of evil. Yeah. And climate change. It takes to the air, putting a little bit of distance between you all and it. Would that open it up for an attack of opportunity? Normally, yes. However, this phoenix has an ability called fly by, which allows it to avoid provoking
Starting point is 00:53:00 attacks of opportunity when flying out of an enemy's reach. How convenient. Oh, gets up into the air, gets a little bit of space between you all and opens up its mouth. And in its maw, you see like the burning fires of an outer plane. And they seem to like congeal and focus themselves and fly straight in the direction of everyone who was bunched up down below. Wait, so when you say maw.
Starting point is 00:53:24 It's mouth. It's mouth. So is this any connection to the maw and paw stuff? That was just me saying. That was... Good catch. Nice callback, but that was just me using a word for mouth. Okay, okay. Yeah, I was adjusting my glasses as I was doing math and studying
Starting point is 00:53:39 for the FAT. I'm trying to figure out the clues. Alright, so who was there? All of you... Barney was not there. Barney's not and you hid. I'm trying to figure out the clues. All right. So who was there? All of you. Barney was not there. Barney's not. And you hid. I'm hiding, but I don't know if that necessarily means anything. Come for me if you dare.
Starting point is 00:53:53 Well, this is more like an AOE. Yeah, that's what I was like. Exactly. So it's going to hit. Oh, so I should say the Mould, Vespervein, Chip, Elga, and Mateed. Oh, you're worst. Like an AOE vomit attack. Right.
Starting point is 00:54:07 It's going to try to hit all of you. It's not that it's a save. It's going to roll an attack roll. I'm just going to make one attack roll. And we'll apply it to everyone just to save time here. Oh, I rolled a 20. Okay, so that's going to be max damage then for that one. That's, oh, and then it's more because it's a crit.
Starting point is 00:54:24 Are we going to die? Dear Carol, these are my last words. I miss you so, so much. There's a fireball coming straight for my head. Good God, why did I hide in this bush? I miss you so, so much. Love, Chip. That does 40 points of damage. Oh, what? You're fire resistant. What kind of damage is it? Fire damage. Okay. You're fire resistant.
Starting point is 00:54:46 Oh, what kind of damage is it? Fire damage. Okay. So what did you have to chip? It does half. Yeah. They just had a very weak high five. It was. It was a good one.
Starting point is 00:54:53 Oh, dear fire department. Oh, wait. And I had 10 temp hit points. Yeah. So I have a action called patient defense, but it says I can take the dodge action as a bonus action on my turn. I don't remember how we figured out like it says dodge on your turn but I wouldn't dodge on
Starting point is 00:55:12 my turn. Get the heck out of dodge. I was just going to make that reference. Such a good reference. Comes better from my mouth because I'm north. Oh yeah. Get the heck out of dodge. So what it is I'm going to read it to you like when you take the dodge action you focus entirely on avoiding attacks. Until the start of your next turn, any attack roll
Starting point is 00:55:28 made against you has disadvantage if you can see the attacker. Okay. That I did not know that's how it worked. It would be a bonus action at the end of my turn. Okay. I have a reaction as well, if you're resolved with Sean's. Oh, yeah. Mateed's down. Oh, dear. Oh, down?
Starting point is 00:55:44 Yeah, down, down. Uh, can Oh, down. Oh yeah. Down, down. Uh, can I do my reaction? Yeah. Okay. I have a little something, something called hellish rebuke.
Starting point is 00:55:51 So I'm going to take this fire. Boom. Flip it, spin it, fart it back. Get right at you. I feel like chip would call it heckish rebuke. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:59 I like that. Heckish rebuke. And then I, I, do I even need to roll for that or just, I don't think so. I'm going to double check. There's no roll option, so... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:07 The creature must make a dexterity saving throw. So the dexterity saving throw is DC 15. Dexterity is plus 7. I need an 8 or better. 4, so fail save. Bah-ha-ha-ha! And I do 3D 10. That's 27.
Starting point is 00:56:22 So you heckish rebuke this phoenix. You get damaged and you, like like point back. Do you say anything cool or is there any like catchphrase? I take it like a pizza pie maker and I take it like the fire they threw at me like dough and I flip it in the air and I spin it right back at him.
Starting point is 00:56:39 I say, uh, Baba boy! I don't know. It's first thing in my mind. I'm going to be a good boy here, Gus, and I'm going to be honest with you. It is fire damage. I don't know if that's going to impact. Ooh, this phoenix. Yeah, the fire streaks straight towards this phoenix,
Starting point is 00:56:55 who, once again, opens its mouth and swallows your heckish rebuke. Does it give it indigestion? Nothing happens? It's like that scene in The Mask where he swallows the dynamite. Spicy meatball. I didn't. It wasn't really a pizza.
Starting point is 00:57:12 It wasn't a pizza. It's intimidating. I guess. You know. I go kick rocks. Literally kicking rocks over here. Could you kick rocks near me so that you might be close by to revive me? And that is it for these phoenix.
Starting point is 00:57:31 So it's Matide. Oh, make your death saving throw. Would love to, Gus. It's got three little skulls next to it, so I can indicate if people made their check or not. 17. Although, wait. Hold on. Just so I can maybe roll a 20. I or not. 17. Although, wait. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:57:45 Just so I can maybe roll a 20. I have an ability called Will to Remain, which gives me advantage on Death's Safe Throw. That's cool. Where'd that come from? Is that a feat? That's because I'm a ghost. Oh.
Starting point is 00:57:56 I'm a ghost. Spooky dookie. Woohoo. So I already passed with a 17. This is just to see if I can get a crit. Now I gotta roll a 1. I see you taking the 17. I would like to take the I can get a crit. Now I got to roll a 1. I see me taking the 17. I would like to take the 17.
Starting point is 00:58:08 Matide gets a little checkmark on their skull. Deset. Si vous plaît. Hang in there, Matide. We'll get you right as rain in no time. What if we bring back Matide too good? Then they're like alive alive. Oh, what if they become human or non-ghost?
Starting point is 00:58:20 Yeah, corporeal. Eric. Eric. Oh, were you trying to say corporeal? That's the one are you saying trying to say corporeal that's the one he's trying to say corporeal so bad we thought it was eric cocker nah you know corporeal so it's the mold's turn after the mold is elga yeah the uh phoenix is up in the air now. So, you know, the Mould does like trying to smash with its fist. Yeah, Mould is mad. So I guess the Mould's going to have to try to shoot a volley of gemstones at the Sphoenix once again.
Starting point is 00:58:54 Yeah. Just because it's in range. Oh, shucks, howdy. How am I going to fight this thing? It's so high up in the air. I just got, I guess I got a crossbow. Don't worry, we'll get it done. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:04 Sphoenix must make a dexterity saving throw. This thing's the size of a yacht, and I'm going to shoot a single arrow into the sky. Zink. Get the flying monk up. Just get it right. Where'd that come from? Right. This phoenix makes its dexterity saving throw this time, so it takes half damage.
Starting point is 00:59:21 Darn it, if only we had like a flying attacker, you know? Real powerful. One, two. I am working on it. I'm sensitive about this, okay? Yeah, but like if it had three attacks, you know? Oh, shocks. I actually had four attacks to be clear. Four would be great.
Starting point is 00:59:39 That's impossible, though. Alright, Elga, you're up. After Elga is Barney and Vespervayne. I don't have anything, like, heal you, so I don't know if I should. You can do a... I can do it. Okay. Okay. I'll leave it for Barney.
Starting point is 00:59:50 To be clear, though, anybody can do a check to stabilize somebody. Gotcha. You don't have to have... I'll let Barney. Give you that mouth-to-mouth. No. Is it more than 60 feet up? No.
Starting point is 01:00:00 Excellent. Could I please use the thing from my fang frost, my cone of cold? Gustavo, may I? May I please cast Cone of Cold up in the air at this Phoenix? I'm really hoping D&D is not like Pokemon where fire is effective against ice. I think it's going to be extra effective. You know, Elga, I'm so glad you used that because when you got that, I was like, oh, gee, I wish I had that. I don't know if a barbarian is going to use a knife. I told you that if you ever get something that I was like oh gee I wish I had that I don't know if our barbarians use a knife
Starting point is 01:00:25 I told you that if you ever get something that is good we can trade you did offer that well I'm saying it's all during combat by the way this phoenix is paused and waiting it's looking at its claws it busts out a nail file anyway do you want me to write up a contract for us right now
Starting point is 01:00:42 just while we wait here what's a potion of climbing work, though? Yeah. So your Fang Frost has Freezing Ferocity. So while holding it, you can use an action to cast Cone of Cold once per long rest. Yes. Cool. So a blast of cold air erupts from my hands.
Starting point is 01:00:57 This is actually a good time to use this since it's now like nowhere near anybody. So it must make a DC 13 Constitution saving throw. Its Constitution is plus one. So I need a 12 or better. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:12 So it'll take 8d8 of damage. Wow. 8d8. Good Lord. 8d8. Yeah. That's what I said. That's a lot.
Starting point is 01:01:23 That's like almost, that could be 64. It'll take 38 points of damage. Oh. You're not nice. Well, you're not nice either, okay? You put fire on me, I put ice on you. You big cat bird. Wow.
Starting point is 01:01:39 Wow. Yeah, you, that's right. I got you. I'm holding Elga back. She's raging too hard. I think that's right. I got you. I'm holding Elga back. She's raging too hard. And I think that's it. Oh, it is. No, melee is only where your rage stacks on.
Starting point is 01:01:50 Yeah, so I don't get my bonus on my rage there. And then I'm also going to back away a little bit from Matide and the Mould, just so like we're not in the same area of effect type thing. For the fire. Yeah. Just spacing out a little bit. I'm going to space out maybe like, you know, 20 feet or so. One of them fire vomit comets. They'll get you. Yeah. Just spacing out a little bit. It's going to space out maybe like 20 feet or so. One of them fire vomit comets.
Starting point is 01:02:07 They'll get you. Okay. That's it for Elka. Barney. Okay. How far away is this thing? So you didn't walk up to it. So if it was on the ground in front, you would be between 20 and 30 feet away.
Starting point is 01:02:19 And then from that point, it went up another 20 or 30 feet okay so it is the hypotenuse of a triangle uh with sides a and b equaling 25 okay which is 25 squared plus 25 squared divided and then the root of that right oh i don't know i wasn't ready for this kind of math 25 times 25 that's uh's the square root of 1250. No, it's 25 times 25 plus 25 times 25. So 35. 35. So it's 35 feet at a diagonal up from you. We solved for C. Yeah, I think I'm the only one who cares that we did this.
Starting point is 01:02:56 Thank you, John. Thank you for humoring me. Give yourself an inspiration. Oh, that's good. And 35 feet in the air. At a diagonal. I can't be funny, but I can be a nerd. So how high up?
Starting point is 01:03:06 It's 25 feet off the ground and 25 feet in front of you. Chris didn't take geometry. That's what I'm learning here. I was thinking the other day, I do love math because it was like, I know how to like add in increments of 45 because of weightlifting. So it's just like, oh, I love mathematics. Mathematics. Mathematics.
Starting point is 01:03:22 Math. So you're asking for this distance too. Well, I had a thing planned, but I'm not going to do it. Anyway, I'll use my bonus action. I'll start with my bonus action. Oh! Dessert first. Oh!
Starting point is 01:03:33 And I'm going to use the Book of Eamon Full to cast Appeal of Alleviation, which is 1d6 plus 5 hit points. I got one charge left. Two creatures of your choice. You can see within range, regain hit points equal to 1d6 plus my spellcasting ability. So that would be 1d6 plus 5. And it impacts undead creatures as well.
Starting point is 01:03:55 I liked your little side point. Chris just looked over his shoulder at me and kind of pointed very coyly. Just looking, can I see who looks worse off for the wear between Chip and Elga? I'm not doing
Starting point is 01:04:11 super good. Yeah, go on. But also not on the brink of death. You see, I am what you call fire resistant. So this Phoenix. Me and Chip still just having a casual conversation. Just a bunch of full of hot steam, you know? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:27 So that's going to be nine health to, I suppose, and... So just like HP, not a tenth? Yeah. Okay. And so does that just go straight into my HP and stabilize me, Gus? Yes.
Starting point is 01:04:40 Cool. Welcome back to the land of the living. I've returned once more. All right. Thank you, Barney. It's like a nice the land of the living. I've returned once more. Alright. Thank you Barney. It's like a nice tall glass of water. And then Elga just like passively takes a little
Starting point is 01:04:56 sip of her little sippy cup. Who knows at this point? Canonically in my head, my head canon is only Matide knows. Yeah. That's in my head canon. Matide would assume that.
Starting point is 01:05:09 Yeah. Like Matide's smarter than everyone and caught on to it. Yeah, I think Matide knows, and I think Chip knows something is off, but is too polite to say anything about it. Your business is your business. But is very, like, respectful of it. Oh, yeah. But Chip, anyway. So, metagame perspective, since it's very like respectful of it. Oh yeah. The Chipaney way.
Starting point is 01:05:26 So metagame perspective since it's Barney's turn Micah had a great suggestion. Since Barney summoned Vespervane and Vespervane acts on Barney's turn Barney should have agency
Starting point is 01:05:35 over what Vespervane does. So it's in his character sheet. That's what I said and he's looking at it now. Oh wow. It's going to make your initiative order thing all catawampus then. See it says Barney Vesper. Oh, wow. It's going to make your initiative order thing all catawampus then.
Starting point is 01:05:45 See, it says Barney Vesperving. Oh. It's because he ran out of space. And then I did that thing. Now I'm going to shoot. You're going to shoot. For the stars. He's got a gun.
Starting point is 01:05:56 He's got a gun. The amount of times. Barney pulls out a handgun. The amount of times we joke about that in this show is maybe a little too often. If someone was going to have a gun, it'd be Barney, the cleric. I'm going to cast Guiding Bolt, second level, and that's 4d6 radiant damage.
Starting point is 01:06:18 Whoa, wait, no. 4d6 radiant damage. There we go. Radiant didn't quite come out. And the next attack roll against this target before the end of your turn, next turn, has advantage. Yeah, because they glow. They glow. Okay.
Starting point is 01:06:31 Is second level the highest level spell that Barney has now? No, I have third level. You have third levels? Okay. I was saving it until it gets close to me. Yeah, no, I was just curious. So, Flash of Light streaks toward, I assume, towards this phoenix. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:42 So, you have to make a ranged spell attack against the target. Okay. Well, I already rolled damage for it. We'll use that damage, but roll the ranged spell attack to make sure you hit the Sphenix. Ha! 14? That's the number you're looking for. Oh!
Starting point is 01:06:58 Oh, wait. Why did it say 5d6? Is that at second level? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Is second level maybe higher? No. It says 5d6, and I rolled 4d6 on my second level, Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Is second level maybe higher? No, it says 5d6,
Starting point is 01:07:07 and I rolled 4d6 on my second level, so maybe I did it wrong. My second level must have a... On a hit, it takes 4d6. When you cast it using a spell slot of second or higher, it increases to 1d6 for each slot above. So just roll another 1d6, and we'll add it on. That's an extra four. So totaling 15 points of damage.
Starting point is 01:07:21 15 points of rating. Gotta be worse for wear at this point. Yeah, this phoenix is not looking as healthy as it was a short while ago. I'm still pretty ticked about the hellish rebuke. Did it give it diarrhea? Heckish. Can I perceive if heckish rebuke gave it diarrhea? The heckish rebuke kind of settled its stomach.
Starting point is 01:07:37 It felt a little better after that. It was like a Pepto-Bismol? Yeah. Darn. Darn. Darn you, phoenix. Phoenix. All right. Do you have more to do? Well, no, Phoenix. Phoenix. All right.
Starting point is 01:07:47 Do you have more to do? Well, no, I'm done. I'm done. Okay. Barney's gone done himself. All right. Well, but I'm preparing for the Vespervane. Vespervane.
Starting point is 01:07:57 Nope. Vespervane. There you go. Third time. High five. Yes. Since Vespervane is listening to Barney, Barney will choose whatever actions it takes,
Starting point is 01:08:10 and you can make the rolls as well, Chris. Can it do Breath of Evenfall on it? It can. It couldn't last time because everyone was bunched up too much, but that is absolutely an option. It wants to exhale a blast of glacial gloam in a 30-foot cone. What? That's what it says, gloam. It does say glacial gloam. I love the smell of gloam in a 30-foot cone. What? That's what it says.
Starting point is 01:08:27 It does say glacial gloam. Love the smell of gloam in the morning. I don't know what that is. Each creature in the cone must make a DC 17 constitution saving throw or a failed save. Creature takes 28. Wait. 28. Wait.
Starting point is 01:08:39 Takes 28. 6d8 plus 1. The way it normally works from my side, like a peek behind the curtain, is you can either roll 68 plus one, or if you're in a hurry, you just say 28. That's like the default damage. That's common on like creature character sheets. Like when mud would transform into characters, that was that option.
Starting point is 01:08:55 Yeah. So it's like you either roll 68 plus one, or if you don't want to bother rolling, you say you take 28. Yeah, it's like the average. Right. It's just how they build the character sheets. Yeah, I don't like that.
Starting point is 01:09:05 It's just to speed things up when you're running the game. So just for clarity, for the listener's sake and for John's sake, Gloam is the time of day immediately following sunset. Gloam? Today I learned. Is that in like grotesque in general? No. That's just a real term?
Starting point is 01:09:20 That's actual like real etymology. Oh, wow. I also just learned that. How do you spell that? G-L-O-A-M. Can use that in conversation. So when your parents say, what are you doing? Do your homework. Be like, I'm learning vocabulary.
Starting point is 01:09:30 Yeah. Good gloom, madam. See, people who listen to Tales from the Stinky Dragon, you learn math, you learn English, you learn. Yeah. Well, yeah. Depending on who's speaking. Some English.
Starting point is 01:09:43 You learn a lot of late 80s, early 90s references. Uh-huh. What's she talking about? You learn the power of friendship. So this phoenix needs to make a constitution saving throw as a blast of glacial gloam
Starting point is 01:09:55 overcomes it, doing cold damage and potentially slowing it down. Barney saw what Elga did, wants to do it too. So I will roll the constitution saving throw for this phoenix, which is, I need a 16 or better.
Starting point is 01:10:09 Look at this team. Got a bird that attacks four times and an ice barbarian, old man with a big bird. I rolled a 10. Me? Yes. My fanny pack, our cheerleader. You're doing great, Chip.
Starting point is 01:10:21 On a failed save, it takes... 68 plus one cold damage, and its speed is halved until the end of its next turn. I want to roll. Do it. I always roll. I don't like taking the default number. I did too with mud stuff.
Starting point is 01:10:33 Here he goes. 37. That's higher than 28. Yes, it is. So the glacial gloam overwhelms this phoenix. You see this phoenix start to slowly solidify and crystallize as the Gloam coalesces around it. And the Sphoenix falls to the ground,
Starting point is 01:10:53 covered in glacial Gloam. Oh, good job, Mr. Dragon. And as it hits the ground, it seems to let out its final breath. And as it does so, it explodes. Everyone within 60 feet of this phoenix, go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw. Did I back up enough, though?
Starting point is 01:11:12 I would say probably not. Probably not. Because 60 feet would be further than where you first entered. And I don't get to use my tail as a reaction for this, right? Because it's not going to attack on me. Shut up. No, but you have danger sense as a barbarian. I do.
Starting point is 01:11:23 So it's an advantage on dex. You have advantage. I got a 12. 18. Chip, you have the Helping a Barbarian. I do, so it's an advantage on this. You have advantage. I got a 12. 18. Chip, you have the Helping Hand-a-Pod from Hexel, so you could use that to get advantage on this. Okay. Oh, wait, I have a Handing Pod, too.
Starting point is 01:11:33 That one would have expired by now, yeah. Question on advantage. If I roll the same number twice, I don't get to roll again. No. What'd you roll twice? I rolled 10 two times. Oh, no. I rolled a nat 20.
Starting point is 01:11:45 Woo! And a 25. I rolled a 17. 17, 18, 25, and 10. Also, I spent my inspiration die because I rolled a bad one the first time. Okay. 17, 18, 25, and 10?
Starting point is 01:11:55 Yeah. Yeah. All right. 10 doesn't do it, unfortunately. Yeah, I didn't think so. This phoenix hits the ground and explodes into a fireball. Wow.
Starting point is 01:12:03 Fire damage washing over all of you. If you save, you only take half damage. And then Chip takes half of that. Half, half. The total damage is 25 points of damage. I rolled two 10s. It's 2d10 plus 5. I rolled two 10s. So you rolled
Starting point is 01:12:19 a maximum. You're right. Maximum damage 25 points of fire damage washes over you. If you save, you take 12 points of damage. Chip, you take six. Also, can I have that even further? Because I have Uncanny Dodge. When an attacker that you see hits you with an attack, you can use your reaction to have the attack's damage.
Starting point is 01:12:34 It's not really an attack. Right. It's not an attacker hitting you. It's an AoE. So I get six. So 12 of you save. And then Chip gets six. Correct.
Starting point is 01:12:42 And on top of the fire taking over all of you guys, it also ignites all the tents and all the flammable objects within a 60-foot radius. Oh, no. Oh, no. Chip's nightmare. Matisse's down again, by the way. Mold, could you do anything about this?
Starting point is 01:12:58 Do you have any, like, water shooting spouts? Are we out of combat? Yeah, so we'll say since we're out of combat, everyone, you can choose either an inspiration die or five temporary hit points. I'm looking at you, Mateed. I need permanent hit points. I do want the inspiration die, so I'm going to take that. Oh,
Starting point is 01:13:16 uh, uh, liver veins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Freeze. Yeah, can the dragon? Wait, liver veins? Whatever its name is. You know what I'm talking about. Whatever its name is. Vesper vein. Yeah. I will take the inspiration. I'll take the Dragon. Wait, Liver Veins? Whatever its name is. You know what I'm talking about. Whatever its name is. Vesper Vein. Yeah. I will take the inspiration.
Starting point is 01:13:29 I'll take the 5 HP. He's confident enough in Chip's abilities to make Gus laugh. You don't say that. What? Yeah, it's going into a drought. This could be very earned. So, Temp HP doesn't bring me back. I don't think so.
Starting point is 01:13:42 I don't think so. You know what will? Mouth to mouth from your dear friend Chip Haney. There are other ways to resuscitate things. Come here. I don't think so. I don't think so. You know what, Will? Mouth to mouth from your dear friend, Chip Haney. There are other ways to resuscitate things. Come here. I don't breathe. Give me that pee. I don't breathe.
Starting point is 01:13:51 Can I go over to help Matita? Sure. Can I help them? Yeah. Okay. I'll say normally you would make, like if we were in combat, you'd make a medicine check or something,
Starting point is 01:13:59 but where, you know, there's no real time pressure. So I'll say you, you take your time and, you know, really bring Matita back and stabilize them. Hold on. And then do they get any aid? They'll be at zero.
Starting point is 01:14:09 I cast aid! Aid. Second level. What does that do? I take a swig of water and I mama burn it to ya. You're used to this. Up to three creatures within range. Each target's hit point maximum and current hit points increased by five. So who do you pick?
Starting point is 01:14:26 I choose me, Chip, and Elga. Not Mateed? No, I was kidding. Yeah, yeah. Who rolls out then? I have ten HP left. I'm good. Then I will do it on Elga and Mateed and then... I mean, I don't...
Starting point is 01:14:42 I already have... No. I'll do it on Chip. I mean, I feel fine. I think I also have the temp from the last time you did that. These aren't temp. These are permanent increases. Until rest or just permanent, permanent? No, until like eight hours. It's a heal.
Starting point is 01:14:53 It's eight hours. So I already have the five. Oh, you already have it? Do you already have it? No. So I took the inspiration die. No, but this would be different. Yeah, this is different.
Starting point is 01:15:00 This is just a five point heal. Yeah. He used aid either last episode or the one before. Those are gone. I used the temp HP already. So this is confusing because it's not temp HP. It's like it increases your maximum HP and gives you actual HP. You can do an override max thing.
Starting point is 01:15:16 I don't know if I did on you before. I don't remember. I think you. I don't remember who you chose either. I was definitely one of them because they have max HP modifier five. Plus the tip HP that you gave earlier. Yeah. I don't have any modifier on five.
Starting point is 01:15:28 So you did not get it then. Yeah. Okay. Get it. Great. Now that everything seems to be settling down, Vesper Vane returns to you, Barney, lands in front of you and opens its mouth and says, Barney, Barney? What?
Starting point is 01:15:42 What? Huh? That is you, isn't it? Yes. Oh, I remember you. You're one of the good ones from so long ago. What? What?
Starting point is 01:15:53 Oh, I'm so shocked to see you. Yeah, me too. Where's your family? Barney Lord's just dropping. Where is my family? I don't know. I figured they were with you. You know, your wife, your kids. I... Where is my family? I don't know. I figured they were with you. You know, your wife, your kids.
Starting point is 01:16:07 What? Your dog. Huh? Well, I'd like to know that myself. Oh, well, maybe we should find them? Yes, please. Oh. Well, if you find them, give me a call.
Starting point is 01:16:19 Summon me back up. I'd love to catch up with them. So casual. You got it. I gotta run. No cap. Is that the strangest dragon ever? So casual. With that Vesper vein begins dissolving again
Starting point is 01:16:37 and becoming... Wait, wait, wait. Losing its corporeal form. Barney, you're missing your wife too. You got some splaining to do. What if our wives are hanging out together? What if his wife is your wife's mom? The blob turns to Hexel and thrusts her orange pseudopods around the red offspring.
Starting point is 01:17:03 Thank maw that's finally over. Are you okay, my little freckle fleck? I'm so sorry, honey, your blending ceremony. Maybe we can... A firestorm erupts nearby, and a skinless gray figure appears out of thin air. What? A splintered smile comes across Eddie's fractured face. Ewee!
Starting point is 01:17:19 Don't get me wrong, I love a spur-of-the-moment holiday, but it's hotter than a fiend's armpit in Pyroa. Besides, this is where the fun is happening. Oh. Eddie pulls out a sky-trap torn in half and turns to the Mould. A hurgle? A glurgle? A flib? A
Starting point is 01:17:35 gib? The diamond-skinned golem cocks its head, and Eddie points a sinewy finger at the blob. The Mould bounds over to the embracing Glurbians, knocks Pegzal over, and pins the blob to the ground. Nobody move, or I'll tell Moolie here to waste the Glurbian! Eddie pulls out a notebook and flips to a certain page.
Starting point is 01:17:54 Ah yes, Blobber-a-Murgle, right? You see, Blobby, I want nothing more than the truth, and I just can't seem to get a straight answer. It's honestly quite maddening But maybe maybe you can help tell me what's the deal with the great ma? What actually happened on the day of the spawning? What that was over a thousand years ago? Everyone knows the great ma spawn children from her jaws and that's where the seven leaders- Wham! Eddie slams the notebook shut. Don't! Don't do that blobby. I'm not an idiot. Just tell me what happened. What really happened that day. I know you were there. Tapping the notebook?
Starting point is 01:18:34 I don't know what you want. Blobbera, I'm gonna give you one more chance to come clean. And if I don't hear the truth, then Moolie here is gonna play a game of fetch with Hexel, and you really don't want that. Please, no. Hexel doesn't know anything. You're... you're right. I was there, but I don't remember anything from before.
Starting point is 01:18:57 That's very disappointing to hear, Blobby. Playtime it is. Wait, no. I swear I don't remember, but there's someone who does. He... he lives in Vania. That's all I know. Wait, no, I swear I don't remember, but there's someone who does. He lives in Vania. That's all I know. Please, please don't hurt Hexel.
Starting point is 01:19:10 Now you see, that's what I was looking for. I appreciate your honesty, Blobby. And for what it's worth, I don't care what other people say. You truly are a hidden gem. Eddie smiles, and with a snap of his fingers, the mule chomps down on the orange Glurbian. And with a splat from head to toe, the amorphous blob begins coagulating and crystallizing. Oh, no. Mom! Mom!
Starting point is 01:19:35 Hexel, don't worry. Everything's gonna be okay, honey. I love you. And just like that, the blob's entire body becomes one big orange gemstone. Is it worth over 500 gold? Sorry. Find out what happens. You have to listen to the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. So sad.
Starting point is 01:20:13 Rest in peace. Yeah. Peace worth over 500 gold. We should probably take that gem with us just in case we change it. Gem. Gem. Gem. Hey, I want to say thank you to everyone who's been uh watching and
Starting point is 01:20:25 and promoting stinky dragon adventures i know you heard us talk about it a lot but we're very excited about it and we really appreciate it yeah best fans best listeners best community everything like that you guys are so amazing so supportive yeah it's been great the day we're recording this is the the day the first episode came out a little peek behind the curtain so we're still riding that high. But yeah, if you enjoy it and you want to check it out, of course, go to stinkydragonpod.com. Become a first member. You get extra stuff.
Starting point is 01:20:53 You can really directly support this. Can I tell you what our special first show is? Yeah. It's called Show Me That Magic. Yeah. The making of Stinky Dragon Adventures. And what we're going to do is it's going to be a couple of us one or two humans and one puppet oh that's funny doing like a live watching the show and doing a live commentary and stopping and telling stories about production we have a lot of stories to tell yeah so it'll be
Starting point is 01:21:16 like bart or kyborg or gum gum or whoever will be joining us as their in character. Bart, Kyborg, Gum Gum, whoever. I was going to list just off the four interns, but we might also have some, you know, like the second episode, I think it might be fun to have Catawampus on or something. Anyway. And again, you can do that and you can support us directly by signing up
Starting point is 01:21:42 at stinkydragonpod.com slash first. Yes, sir. It goes a long way and gives you access to these bonus shows. A show exclusive to this group of our community. Yep. And you might see a special cameo from four of your friends in episode one. Alright. See you next week. Hey, did you know you can directly
Starting point is 01:22:00 support the show by becoming a first member at stinkydragonpod.com slash first. Amazing little stinkers that I've already done that are Zagatka, support the show by becoming a first member at stinky dragon pod.com slash first amazing little stinkers that have already done that are zagatka vin culprit moose tyke ray prime 18 mike tv they're all directly supporting the show and they get access to more content like our second win bonus show or show me the magic they can talk with us and our subscriber only discord channels they get to show up for our live streaming events again Again, that's all done by going to stinkydragonpod.com slash first.
Starting point is 01:22:27 We can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this very stinky show. And speaking of our stinky show, we had an NPC in this episode that we pulled from one of our listeners, Hexel the Blob's offspring. We got that from Eggs the World Destroyer on Instagram, and they were voiced by the incomparable Elise Willems.
Starting point is 01:22:46 Speaking of amazing voice actors, this Phoenix was voiced by Christian Young. Blobbera Murgle, aka The Blob, is voiced by Kyla Cook, and Eddie is voiced by Andrew Rosas. This episode of Tales from Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger, with additional editing work by David Saunier. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Speaking of lucky duckies, let's dive into it. There's ducks. Can you investigate for ducks? Just to hold on. This is very important.
Starting point is 01:23:39 That's a six on investigation on ducks. Oh, yeah. You find three ducks. Ah, Zutalors. I love the ducks. As you get closer to them, you realize that they're actually duck-shaped rocks.
Starting point is 01:23:48 Are any gooses there? Duck, duck, duck. There's only one goose and he's right behind you. What happened to these ducks? This guy. Ah. Oh, Gustavo.
Starting point is 01:23:58 Gustavo.

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