Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Infinight Infirms Part 1
Episode Date: October 24, 2023In this special three-part mini-campaign, the Infinights are back! Years after Gum Gum’s wish and settling into their new lives, the party receives a mysterious birthday invitation! Check out the fi...rst campaign over on stinkydragonpod.com! Support us at stinkydragonpod.com/first ! Join us on Discord: https://discord.gg/roosterteeth Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://harrys.com/DRAGON for a $3 Starter Set. Go to http://meundies.com/stinky to get 25% off your first order and free shipping. Go to http://hellofresh.com/50dragon and use code 50dragon for 50% off plus free shipping. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This is a Rooster Teeth Production. show called Second Wind where we dive deep into the previous episode, give you a peek behind the DM screen, give you more behind the scenes look at what's going on in the Stinky Dragon world.
Well, our next Second Wind will be available to everyone. That's right. We want to give everyone
a chance to see what they're missing out on by not being a first member. If you want to catch up
on all the previous Second Winds, you can sign up to be a first member at stinkydragonpod.com
slash first and catch up on everything you missed.
Greetings to all you groths.
Swim on into the stinky dragon.
Make a beeline for a most recent mocktail swamp and circumstance.
It's a mixture of mire water, marshmallows, a swamp claw sugar, a boggy bite of lime, moss mint leaves, and roughly chopped mages over ice.
One swig of this swampy swill, you won't be able to restrain yourself or your prey.
Now draw yourself a drink, let's dive back into some dank drama.
Oh, I miss that voice.
Oh, he's back.
He's back. He's back.
What's he run up to?
Is Chris eating ice cream right now at 10 a.m.? Why would he be eating ice cream at 10 a.m.?
Because it's Chris.
It's an acai bowl, but I wouldn't should have asked me.
An acai bowl?
Breakfast ice cream.
No, that's breakfast.
I will actually defend Chris here because there's a lot of breakfast food that is like just
dessert.
It's pancakes, waffles, muffins, donuts,
cereal, french toast, all of it.
Y'all are making me hungry.
We are here for a special
one-off, one-shot campaign here
using our season
one characters, the Infinites.
So just a heads up for anyone who's listening
if you have not listened to the first campaign with the infinites there may be some spoilers
for that campaign in this you wouldn't necessarily spoil the entire campaign or anything but if that's
something you want to listen to hey maybe check that check out campaign one with the infinites
you wouldn't steal a campaign would you you wouldn't download a whatever nevermind sorry
you wouldn't actually download our campaign please download our on spotify
go to an apple store and download every product in there do it on multiple platforms if you would
just run it all the time go to your go to your uh your parents house just put it on their door
they're not gonna be able to stop it just start it on one of the speakers in their house. Yeah, pets love our podcast.
Why is my phone all full of death stuff?
Just go to your local library and turn them all on.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Why don't we have everyone introduce themselves
as well as their characters, race, and class.
It's been a little while,
so we need to refresh everyone on the characters here.
I'm Barbara Dunkelman, and I play Bart,
the halfling,
Bard,
a stout halfling,
by the way.
I don't know if I ever
mentioned that in the first place.
Ooh.
I like IPA halflings.
He's not a halfling.
He's not a halfling.
Oh.
Oh, he's a quarterling.
Oh.
Right, right, right.
Technically,
which also would be a spoiler
for the campaign,
so I hope you guys
listen to it.
It started right off the bat.
Yeah.
Throws down their headphones.
A quarterling.
Go on.
And I'm also a level 16 as well.
Ooh.
Nice.
Hi, I'm Blaine Gibson.
I play Kyborg the mighty.
I'm,
I tried to do this shift into the voice,
but it's just my voice.
No,
dude,
do you cut?
I'm Kyborg.
I'm Kyborg the mighty.
I did bring a voice for the full length puppet show.
Anyways, I'm a wood elf fighter, level 16 cyborg,
because I got a robot arm.
I forgot that detail.
That's a fun part of Kyborg.
It's in the name.
It's Kyborg.
Kyborg, I've like disassociated the name Kyborg
from the word cyborg, because he's like a person now. That's just his name.
Yeah. Also, you said
stout. Whenever you said that, I just
imagined you were just saying that Bart was a little tubby.
Is that stout?
I think it's a type of halfling.
A stout halfling, yeah.
If you guys remember,
it's very important.
Bart is very heavy.
You called it out a lot.
I just thought you were just making goofs
at Bart being a little heavy boy.
I think he looks tiny, but he's heavy.
It's just Barbara
set his weight as really
high.
That's all it is.
We discovered that like halfway through the
campaign. Maybe it made for some
fun mental images.
But yeah, the halfling variants are Hairfeet, Tallfellow, Stout, and Lightfoot.
And our friend Bart is of the Stout variety.
I fill out like two of those, maybe three of those things.
Like in the real world.
You should start introducing yourself as such.
I'm Chris Damaris, I play Gum Gum, the half
orc barbarian. 15
levels of barbarian, 1 level of
sorcerer. Wow.
Welcome back, Gum Gum. Welcome back.
And last but not least. I'm
John Reisinger and I play Mud Brumblecrack
who is a fear bug druid
who is actually level 18. What are you guys
all at 16?
Just messing with you. What did we do wrong? Did you guys all at 16? Wait, really? I'm just messing with you.
Oh, God.
What did we do wrong?
Did you do an extra episode?
Hey!
Mutt's been off farming XP this whole time while you guys have been, like,
working on Stinky Dragon Adventures.
John hired Gus as a private tutor
to do Dungeons & Dragons in the off hours.
Just, you know, I like doing side quests.
Yeah, you went back to the starting area
and just spammed AoE over and over everywhere
to get like a key to the XP.
No!
No, little Jimmy's alive.
I swear to God.
Alive and well.
So what are we doing, Gus?
We're going to go ahead and kick everything off with an arrow.
No, not a role-playing warm-up.
A real arrow.
Everyone needs to make a dexterity saving throw.
Wow, we're back in it!
Oh my God.
Can we say why we're coming back
to the infinites too yeah i don't even know why we're like yeah why are we here i was surprised
when you guys were like hey review your campaign one characters for something we're going to be
doing next recording and i'm like huh you ever wonder why we're here well we're making a brand
new series called stinky dragon adventures which is a full length adaptation of the Infinite Campaign with puppets.
We're talking full episodes. They're around 10 to 11 minutes each. It comes out this November,
2023. We're retelling familiar stories and telling some brand new ones. It's going to be the
characters you know and love and some new ones as well. We got it all. We wanted to get the gang
back together as a way to get people excited about
Stinky Dragon Adventures because we are
pumped. I mean, we've been working so hard
on it and we are incredibly
proud of it and we think you're going to love it. So
get your eyeballs ready. And Mamma Mia,
it looks good. We got like
real lenses that look like
this is a movie. And we're essentially
shooting a movie. We're shooting a movie.
At the end of the day, it's going to be like around 90 minutes.
Like that's a movie.
So yeah, more pressing.
What are those dexterity saving throws?
I'm excited.
I rolled a 19 on my dexterity saving throw.
I got an 18 for Bart.
I got a 20.
I got a 17.
Oh, cowboy number one.
We'll deal with those here in just a moment.
It's been 82 years since Gum Gums Way. Kyborg number one. We'll deal with those here in just a moment.
It's been 82 years since Gum Gum's wish.
Much of the world has changed and you four along with it.
The last we heard of the Infinites was over 50 years ago.
Bart reunited with his dads and they all set sail aboard the Jebediah,
voyaging around the furthest reaches of Phasa.
He also started a band with his family, calling themselves the Sideshow Bobs,
which filled entire arenas and stadiums worldwide.
Kyborg teamed up with Smarsh and picked up where Dr. Ahem left off, helping folks with disabilities and training the next generation of heroes at the Ahem Academy.
On top of all of that, he rekindled his relationship with Lin-Mir, the Moonstone Dragon.
Mud retired from adventuring, settled down in the city of Urbloom.
He opened Gumbo's Grounds, a five-star rated badger cafe and bookstore
that specialized in selling pictopanel tomes
featuring illustrated stories of epic tales.
And dirt coffee.
Gum Gum returned to the Embryoak Woods
and helped HSD raise orphans at the Orchard Nudge
and teach them magic.
He still got angry now and then,
but he directed that energy into growing things
like flowers in his garden of hugs.
Where do you think you all would find yourselves at the present moment?
Just like a sentence or two.
I was going to say something really bad.
Dead?
What were you going to say?
We can cut it out.
No.
Six feet under?
Six years?
Halflings live, all of our races live long.
Live long.
Okay.
I had not considered us growing old.
But what's about the other half of you probably negates that.
Oh, yeah. That's true.
You're like half god.
I think you're good for at least
like 50 years. I can give you a reference
if you want. That's actually here
in front of me. Again, listen to
Campaign 1 with the Infinite Campaign if you
haven't. Bart, you know, you're
like we said, you're a quarterling. You're half halfling, half
dragonborn.
Your current age is about 114 years.
Ah, maybe my voice will finally drop.
I hope it doesn't.
Kyborg, you're roughly 129 years old.
Ooh, an older man.
What's the life expectancy of a wood elf?
Your life expectancy would be like 700 years.
Oh, I'm still in my prime, baby.
You're like a preteen.
Heck yeah.
Gum Gum, you know, you're half half-orc and half celestial Asimar,
and you're currently about 100 years old.
Mud, you're sitting at about 113.
So all that being said, you're much older than you were in campaign one,
but you all are still kicking. So, you know, just like a sentence or two, where do you think you would be at this moment in time?
What's the time of day?
You can pick for each of you.
You're not necessarily together.
So whatever time of day works best for you.
All right, I'll go.
Me and Lynn Murr, we're wearing matching sweatsuits and we're power walking down the road on the outskirts of Boulderay.
We're getting our morning steps in.
And I'm like, come on, honey, we're getting our morning steps in and i'm like come on honey
we're about to beat the record here we go oh what's this you got chip haney in my cyborg oh
goodness get him out of here i mean i think mud would be spending any of his time not minding the
shop definitely just going to his favorite spot out in the forest, probably close to some sort of body of water,
and just hanging out with Gumbo and reading his books.
Is Gumbo still alive?
Yeah, let's say.
Gumbo 4 is.
During our adventures, Mud procured some life-lengthening magics
so that Gumbo would grow with him.
Alternatively, you just name several badgers Gumbos and you add numbers. Gumbo number grow with him. Alternatively, you just name several badgers Gumbos
and you add numbers.
Gumbo number five.
Yeah.
Just as a reminder,
canonically, Mud did come up with that magic
in the last episode of the Infinite Campaign.
Oh, did I?
Yeah.
Oh, to save Bart's parents?
Maybe? No? Anyways, let's keep going gumbo is like mr mr bajangles who was it from green mile the mouse that lives forever oh yeah
yeah that's what it is i think with bart i think he he definitely enjoyed sailing the seas with his
family but after a while i think he wanted to live a more peaceful on land kind of life.
So I imagine right now he's actually visiting Mudd's Cafe and performing for all the patrons there.
I like that.
He really likes performing for people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Some Bart unplugged.
Exactly.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
Exactly.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
Gum Gum is working in the garden by the orphanage with a couple orphans,
and he's teaching them about growing flowers and things and how anything can become a magic wand with the right love and magic.
So looking for sticks and things, or you grow a big big flower and use it stem as a wand or something like
that.
Unicorn poop,
you know,
can I,
can I step in really quick,
Gus?
I'm so curious with gum gum.
Did he like grow into,
cause he,
he was like a teen earlier.
Is he like change personality wise?
Like where,
where is like,
is he like a man?
I can't make that call
for the player i mean that's that's chris's call how i'm asking chris oh i thought you said man man
like what's going on his maturity level come come his man man before you answer that chris i'm not
letting you off the hook it's the orchard niche if i gotta say the weird word you gotta say it too
orchard ned orchard orchard ned nope Nope, one more Orchardnidge
Like an orphanage
Orchardnidge
If you say it angrily
If you say it like a pirate, it's better
What do you think, Chris?
Do you have any thoughts about how Gum Gum would have
grown in that time?
I think he's a bit more mature, but I think he's the same Gum-Gum.
Perpetual child at heart?
I think Gum-Gum would think that he's matured.
Yeah.
And what is maturity but thinks?
Nope.
Let's make that a shirt.
What is maturity but thinks?
Are you quoting something really philosophical?
I appreciate you validating my theory immediately after I proposed it.
Write that one down.
Sounds like gum gum.
All right, so who's shooting at us?
Well, before we get to that, I don't want to spoil that.
Like we were just talking here with gum gum.
Everyone's aged a little bit, starting to get a little older.
And as happens, you know, when you get a little older, sometimes you start experiencing some side effects from aging. You know, the body doesn't quite
respond the same way it used to. Just for fun, everyone rolled me a D6. I feel like Gus is
projecting on us with his own age. You're going to catch up to me. Every year you get a little
closer. Two. I go slower than everybody else though. Six. Six. Okay. I'll deal with the sixes
last since two of you got it. Kyborg, you feel like maybe you need some spectacles.
Your eyesight's not quite as sharp
as it used to be. So we're going to say you have
disadvantage on perception checks.
Okay. That's real blame. Yeah, no, I'm
truly blind. So Kyborg is just becoming
more and more me. He's got
the Coke bottle glasses. Yeah.
Gum Gum, with your
childlike wonder, sometimes, you know, it's hard to remember
what's real and what you've imagined. So, because you
started to experience a little bit of memory loss, we're going to say you have
disadvantage on wisdom saving throws, which probably
doesn't actually hurt you very much, because I bet you would have
failed them all anyway. Yeah.
What's Gum Gum's wisdom modifier?
You're just turning Gum Gum into Barney.
Yeah.
I think it was probably,
was it negative one, your wisdom modifier?
Yeah, negative one? My wisdom negative?
Yeah, negative one.
My intelligence is the one that's negative three.
Oh my God.
Okay.
Yeah, like your intelligence modifier was so low.
I forget what it was in campaign one.
There was a spell that had no effect on Gum Gum because his intelligence was too low to be affected by it.
And Bart and Mud, both with sixes.
You all have to be careful.
Sometimes you sleep wrong or you sit up too fast and your back will go out.
So you're starting to get a little bit of a bad back.
So we're going to say you have disadvantage on athletics checks.
Oh, man, that would be heartbreaking.
For you.
Yeah, for Kyborg.
But anyway, back to that arrow.
All of you actually made your dexterity saving throws.
So each of you spot an arrow landing near you at your
feet in your respective settings.
So everyone go ahead and roll a perception check.
Who's shooting an arrow in a coffee shop?
Get out of the ground!
You missed! I'm yelling at the
kids.
Mr. President! Get out of the ground!
27. What did you roll?
Perception? Oh, I did a performance. I'm
so sorry. Wow. Seven. He danced
out of the way of the arrow.
17.
22. Kaibou rolled a 25
but he's a disadvantage so he rolled
a 24.
Ah, look at you.
We're back at it. Alright, so Gum Gum,
like you said, you start, you know, panicking
and telling everyone to get on the ground and you're so
concerned about the arrow and about protecting everyone that you really don't notice much else.
You know, it's been some time since you had an arrow fired in your direction.
Bart, you, you know, survey your surroundings and catch a fleeting glimpse of a caped figure in white before they swiftly vanish.
I thought I was done with this 86 years ago or however many years Gus mentioned that at the top of the show.
But just when I thought that was about
they pulled me back in.
And Mud
and Kyborg.
It all feels familiar, right? A mysterious
arrow, a caped figure, but you
can't quite seem to put your finger on it.
Maybe it's just deja vu. But
all of you do look down and see
that attached to the arrow is a letter.
It's a golden envelope carrying a white seal with the letters LJ.
LJ.
Little Jimmy.
Oh, no.
I hope that wasn't it.
That's so little anymore.
Because they would have immediately been like, they called that out top of the episode.
So you said it was a white cape?
Correct.
And there's no way I can shoot it back, right?
Because I will have my bow on me.
I have my bow on me at all times.
No, it was a,
you catch this like a very fleeting glimpse
of someone peeking out of the alleyways
of the suburbs,
letting loose an arrow
and then disappearing behind
the neatly organized recycling bins
and trash cans.
I clutch Lin-Manu by my side and say,
It's okay.
I got you.
She goes...
And then we make out.
Mud opens the letter.
When the letter opens,
you hear the sound of trumpets from thin air
delivering a thunderous fanfare.
Oh.
The letter reads,
Hail, honored heroes of old.
You are cordially invited
to the esteemed kingdom
of Isla de Venganza,
just off the coast of Pharos.
There we will celebrate
the 100th birthday
of the world-renowned wizard,
Galandor.
Gum-gum to his friends.
The birthday festivities
will include karaoke
with a live band,
archery contest,
exotic petting zoo,
and caricature topiarists.
All accommodations have been covered free of charge.
All that is required is your legendary presence one day from you receiving this letter.
I await your arrival.
His Majesty, King of Isla de Venganza, Captain of his Royal Archers, Master of Marshmanship,
30 years running, Lord Jaime Espejo.
P.S. It's me little jimmy i was shocked when y'all called it out at the top of the episode i was like wow
okay guys didn't react so i was like little jimmy's gonna be in this i i sense little jimmy
wait so it was isla living ganza and it's off the coast of where pharaohs pharaohs which was
so remember phasa is the world that you all were in pharaoh specifically was the land where you
all climbed uh the ziggurat okay so just to kind of put it in your mind like where it is within the
fish people yes yeah oh okay okay it's just the land. And we all saw this note? Yeah, I assume everyone
read it. Ahmad's the only one who said that.
I got one of the orphans to help Gum Gum.
Would Gum Gum have received this
if it's his own birthday celebration?
Seems to be an invitation for
a party for him. If I may,
because do we have sending stones? Can we communicate?
Like, how are we getting around to talking to
each other? I guess we'll meet there.
Meta gaming, I'm thinking this is some i'm getting some suspicions that this is the most dangerous game
vibes we're gonna go there and they're gonna hunt us and we're gonna be tasked with some sort of
life-threatening challenges but we'll overcome them through the power of friendship so uh how
how are each of you gonna travel and or or are you going to travel and attend this
party there's no way i would miss my best friend's birthday of course i'm gonna go i was gonna say
mud just crumples it up and throws it in the lake that's the end of mud for this whole adventure
john exits the discord call yeah all right i would just make make Gus have to keep checking in on mud while you guys are doing
your adventure.
The ultimate party split.
So anyway, you have a problem with your coffee
supplier. You need to
run down some invoices. Roll a
d20 for accounting.
Because I'm training
the next generation of...
No, what am I saying? I was going to say I could take one of the
Hems portals. I ride Smarsh.
Weepy!
Is Smarsh invited?
Hold up. What did you just scream in delight?
Whippy?
Whippy!
Whippy!
Is that not a...
Whippy!
Whippy or whippy?
Listen, I think you're allowed to say whatever
exclamation you want to say
that translates,
that communicates your
enjoyment and excitement.
It reminds me of, again,
someone whose first language
is not English.
That's great.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so Smarsh is your transportation?
King.
I don't know, Gus, is he alive?
I mean, he is king still.
Yeah, we're working with Smarsh.
Got a cocktail bar.
Okay.
Is he invited?
I mean, he didn't receive an arrow,
but I guess, you know,
Kyborg's taking a plus one.
Or maybe he's just a droid.
He's just going to drop you off and go back home.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's an uber.
Five stars, please.
Bart is absolutely going to attend Gum Gum's birthday since he is like a brother to him.
So to get there, he's going to take one of his own personal little sailboats that he has.
Oh.
Because he likes to go out on his own boat from time to time.
Can I ask for a little bit of flavor?
What's on the crest?
What's on the sail?
Do you have any cool thing on the sail?
Oh, yes, I sure do, Blaine.
What is it?
It says...
Uh-huh.
Dissonant Whispers.
Oh!
Is that the name of the boat?
The Dissonant Whisper?
Cool. The Dissonant Whisper. Oh, that's good. of the boat? The Dissonant Whisper? Cool.
The Dissonant Whisper.
Oh, that's good.
Is it like a custom Bart-sized boat?
Of course, yes.
Oh, perfect, perfect.
It could support the heavy weight, but it's very small.
A little low center of gravity, so.
I'm imagining, like, anybody ever seen the movie Ponyo?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
The little boat that gets turned into, like, the boat that he rides around near the end.
I'm imagining it's that size.
My second choice for the boat name is Levity.
USS Levity.
Yeah.
So for Gum Gum, well, first he's going to go to Crumbles.
He was an orphan who just also decided to stay and work in the orphanage.
He's kind of like Gum Gum's like orphan who just also decided to stay and work in the orphanage. He's kind of like gum,
gum,
orphanage.
He goes to crumbles and like,
I had to go to a party.
I guess it's for me.
And then like,
you have to watch the babies.
And so he,
you know,
gets crumbles up to date.
And then the way he gets there is so the orphanage,
uh,
church,
uh,
church image. So there are, is so the orphanage orchard image
so
there are
there are like
the way the babies come are
they're like seeds that fall
from the ground you know like are they
seeds or they fruit I don't remember but
then the little babies are inside of it
but one method that the
orphanage developed to to deliver
to deliver these babies to um parents who are further away and aren't able to make the travel
is like you know you know those like uh trees with the seeds you know that have like little
like wings on them you know like that you know and they fly through the air. So they have those on some of the seeds.
And there happened to be a baby that was going to be delivered to that area.
So Gum-Gum hops in with that baby and he rides along with it across the ocean.
This is a big piece of fruit or a big seed, whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, it's a big wing.
But also Gum-Gum gets off just hurling his guts out because he's been spinning for hours.
You've heard of helicopter parents.
They've pioneered helicopter babies.
Is there a baby attached to this?
Yeah.
So where's the baby go once you get to the party?
Well, I'm just hopping.
I'm just going along for the ride.
It takes me to the general area.
I'm going to hop off and be like,
Hi, I'm Gum-Gum.
Make sure you got your baby right.
Okay, bye-bye. And then Gum-Gum will walk the rest of the way or whatever. general area i'm gonna hop off and be like hi i'm gum gum make sure you got your baby right okay bye
bye and then gum gum will walk the rest of the way or whatever you know that's really good for
the baby's development too is it's spinning around at terminal velocity yeah it's most
important days in the embryo that's funny i mean mud has built-in transportation wherever Mud wants to go. So Mud would turn into a...
I think I'm feeling a bat.
A bat's a good one.
Do you say bat before you transform?
Yeah.
And I think at this point, Mud would have fashioned a little like saddle that Gumbo gets to ride in now.
So Gumbo can come along and that kind of thing.
Kind of like how to train your dragon style.
Adorable.
And he gets to like be in the driver's seat. What do you say when you fly off is it is it whippy
i don't like to be bullying all right
i was gonna say in 80 years you've seen all the zoos in the world, so you know every animal there is to turn into a zoo. Every animal, right?
Every animal.
Wow.
Yeah.
Got him.
We got him, John.
The problem is he worked so hard in the coffee shop, he's had really no free time.
Actually, since I don't have to burn a slot for it, Mud turns into a dragon.
Ooh.
I can turn into dragons, and so Mud does a dragon.
So Gumbo gets to come in in and step down with a dragon.
And I'm just vomiting off of a seed.
So you all arrive at a tropical island teeming with tall, fronded trees and white, sandy beaches.
The ambience of wildlife chitters in the background, but what truly takes your breath away is the castle that fills up your view.
Pristine bricks of ivory form four lofty towers with golden belfries at the top.
From this angle, it almost looks like an elaborate sandcastle gleaming in the sunlight.
A black iron portcullis raises in the center of the keep
and out marches two lines of white caped minstrels,
half of them blowing trumpets and the others bearing snare drums.
A long gilded rug appears between the band,
and out from the castle steps a dwarf wearing a feather earring.
It is our honor to welcome the highly acclaimed heroes known as the Infinites
to Isla de Venganza, featuring Bartholomew, the beauteous bard,
Galindor, the great wizard,
Mud, the majestic druid, and Cyddelius, the Keen-Eyed
Archer and or Fighter, aka Kyborg the Mighty.
Now presenting His Majesty, King of Isla de Venganza, Captain of his Royal Archers, Master
of Marksmanship, 30 years running,
Lord Jaime Espejo.
Ba-ba-ba-baam!
Please, Erica,
these friends may simply call me
Lil' Jimmy. Yes, your
eminence of accuracy.
You may refer to his lordship
as Lil' Jimmy.
Lil' Jimmy rolls his eyes and rubs his temples
while closing the distance to you across the gilded rug.
My friends, it pleases me greatly
to see your faces once again.
Dear Daya, how long has it been?
A hundred years.
That's insane. You've been alive.
I'm going to be alive for a hundred years.
It's your birthday, right?
82 years. That's right, Mud.
So we already all saw each other and reunited
and had a reuniting.
Yeah, we didn't have our cute moment or a little, oh,
you know. I would like to think
that we all stay in touch. And I would have done
the, ah, it's all the
predator high fives,
catching them by the hands.
On your metal arm, right? No, I don't want to rip
you guys' arms off. You old guys' arms off.
You look like hell,
all of you. Ha ha ha.
I'm an elf.
Except you try to do that, but your perception would be so bad you'd miss all the high fives.
Yeah.
Or he's just saying that to a tree next to us.
He's a real Mr. Magoo energy.
God, come with mud.
You're strong as ever.
It's built like a tree.
Are we having a reunited moment?
Sure, if you want.
Yeah. I brought birthday presents for y'all. 82? It's built like a tree Are we having a reunited moment? Sure, if you want, yeah
I brought birthday presents for y'all
82?
Well, we probably didn't miss each other's birthdays that many, right?
Yeah, well, I think Gum Gum was like
He saw it as a birthday party
And he was like, I gotta get a gift
Oh, it's his own birthday party, though
What'd you get me, Gum Gum?
So, for you, Bart, I made a kazoo
Out of this gourd
I grew
In the garden
Could you play it for me?
Wow
Wow
It's a special kazoo
It's beautiful
And
And
And for you
Gaeborg
I made a special arrow
But instead of feathers
At the end of it
It's got flowers
At the end of it
Aww
It doesn't fly at all.
And he's like, Mud.
And here I got, and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out some dirt.
And he's like, I got some of the best dirt in the whole garden.
And it's just for you.
Oh, that's lovely.
Wow.
I miss you guys.
Mud puts it in his little bag.
Nice.
Anyway, sorry.
It's lovely.
Happy birthday to all of us.
Yeah.
Now that he's standing near you
You all actually find yourselves blinking in disbelief at the size of little Jimmy
He easily towers over all of you with thighs and biceps thicker than Bart's body
Oh
Impossible
Not only that, he's resplendent in an immaculate white mantle
Topped with a golden wreath wrapped around his silver head of hair
Oh yeah, how could I forget?
It's been 82 years.
Ah, what an occasion to be reunited with such friends.
Oh, where are my manners?
Infinites, this is my humble Esquire, Erika.
She will play host to you while you stay here at Isla de Venganza.
Erika, have I ever told you the tale of when I first met the famous Infinites?
Oh, I'm afraid not, your Hawkeye Highness.
Oh, well, you're in for a treat, but I'm afraid
my friends could tell it far more eloquently
than I ever could. Please, please, regale
us with every detail. Oh, oh, oh, and to make
it fun, each of you take turns saying one
word at a time as you tell the origin story.
Stop. Stop. I love it.
Perfect. Why don't we start with
Kyborg? Uh...
Mission.
No, we.
We.
Dang it.
We're on a
Black Ops
mission
to
find the
Paralite.
The Paralite.
Yeah, Barbara jumped ahead.
It's my turn.
This is going
exactly how I imagined it was going to go
as soon as you said that, Gus.
We go Blaine, Barb,
Chris, John.
So Blaine.
Oh, couldn't.
What did he say before?
We couldn't. What did he say before? We couldn't
find her.
So we
went into
the woods
and
dodged
an arrow.
Yeah. And
tracked a
little Jimmy. Ha ha! Yeah And Tracked A Little Jimmy
Oh you guys
It's Jai
You remember
It was just yesterday
Because it's like
No more
No more
Thank you
It's a whole
Hour of this
I knew you guys
Could tell it better
Than I could
And wow
The details
So
Oh it's like
It's like I'm watching
It happen I'm watching it happen.
I'm rolling for insight to see if he's lying right now.
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Lord Jamie and Esquire Erica lead you all through the Black Iron Gates.
You all enter the ivory castle and find yourselves in a grand hall decked with hanging floral banners.
On one side, topiaries are being trimmed into hilarious faces next to a stage with a live band playing classic hits.
next to a stage with a live band playing classic hits.
On the other side is a charming corral of bizarrely cute beasts and an indoor archery range with swinging targets.
Erica kind of dusts herself off and very formally says,
Please enjoy the activities in the hall.
Why don't you start with the topiary caricatures?
Can I ask a question first?
Yes, by all means.
I'm curious, what is the specific occasion for celebrating this specific year of Gum-Gum's life?
Gum-Gum turns the fortuitous number 100.
Truly a momentous occasion in a long-storied life.
When did you become a king?
That's Erica.
Oh, yeah.
That's Erica.
When did little Jimmy become a king?
There you go.
It's Erica who's dressing up. We need little Jimmy to become a king.
There you go.
Lord Jaime led a long and very fortunate campaign of adventures here all across Faroes.
He rose through the ranks of the established royalty and houses until he rightfully ascended the throne to take his current position.
When did little Jimmy get so hot?
You can answer this, Erica or whoever.
What race is little Jimmy? Like, what is he? think he was was he human or was he no he was uh he'd be 100 by now if i remember right i believe little
jimmy was half human half goliath oh whoa so we caught him right when he's a little bud he must
have been a baby right before his little growth spurt his little growth spurt. His little growth spurt. Okay, sorry. I interrupted that with a question.
What was it they said to try out the topiary?
Yeah, the topiary caricatures.
What is that, Mud?
They're going to cut a bush into your likeness.
Come, come.
Oh.
I assume Mud walks over and says,
can you do a badger?
Yeah, you walk over and you see there's a few rows of shrubs
of varying colors of leaves and there's a funhouse mirror.
And you see some of the shrubs have already been trimmed
into caricatures of people's faces while others remain untouched.
The funhouse mirror must be like there to provide some kind of inspiration.
So if you want, you yourselves can look into the mirrors or not
or trim your faces or trim each other's faces
or try to trim
gumbo's face, whatever, whatever you want. It's a DIY station. So it's not like a person doing them.
Yeah. Well, really quick. Kyborg's kind of like, he's got like danger sense up right now. Like,
I feel like something's still missed. Do I recognize any of the faces in the bushes?
Is it like other allies or enemies that we've encountered in the past?
Go ahead and make a perception check.
Oh, no.
Disadvantage.
That's an eight.
That's an eight.
I'm squinting.
You've never seen any of these blurry faces before.
All checks out.
Looks good.
Let's take a group picture.
A group bush? A group bush?
A group bush.
You do find a topiary that looks like
little Jimmy's face, like you remember
when you first met him.
Does this castle have different bushes
of his different ages?
How people have their kids' photos
on the walls of them, the different school pictures.
That would be funny.
This appears to be most likely like a temporary setup
for the party, not like a permanent installation.
It's a DIY bush carving?
Yeah. Alright, everyone get together.
Okay,
we'll all just stand together
and then are we going to carve ourselves
or each other? I think Gum Gum's
going to do it.
Alright, everyone smile.
Cheese.
Say bush. So everyone All right, everyone smile. Smile. No, no.
Say bush.
Bush.
So everyone's just going to smile.
No one's going to do a funny face or anything.
You just try to...
I hold Gumbo up like a proud papa.
I smile and then through my smiling teeth, I lean over to Mud and I say, hey, Mud, you
can talk to plants.
What are they saying right now as Gum Gum trims them? As he cuts off their limbs.
How do they feel, Mud?
You've gotten dark in your old age.
Bert's doing a wink.
I like it.
Gum-Gum, go ahead and roll a nature check
to see if you're able to capture all of these expressions very accurately.
That's an intelligence roll.
Yeah, it's not my strongest.
That's a three
it's just stick figures
I take it down there's no bush left
just sticks
oh my god
yeah you cut all of the greenery off of the topiary
leaving just bare branches
there is one that looks
a branch that looks remarkably like Bart winking
wow
that's beautiful
you got my likeness exactly that's funny like Bart winking. Wow. That's beautiful, Gum-Gum.
You got my likeness, exactly.
That's funny. It's just a branch
with a sliver out from the wing.
Great job,
Gum-Gum. You look around to see
there are various other activities
in the courtyard of this castle
as well. Look, Kyborg, it's
the archery range. I'll go to the archery
range. What the heck? Yeahery range what the heck yeah is anybody
the challenge there is anybody else shooting it up well you walk over and there's like an array
of hay bales at different heights and distances with targets set up at different angles some are
swinging on ropes that are hanging from above you know others move on cranks and tracks so it's just
like you know when you go to a carnival and you try to like hit as many targets as you can to
you know get points and win a prize. Okay.
Yeah, I'll do that.
I'll shoot some things.
Yeah.
I'd like to try as well.
Okay.
Bart's watching,
but all of a sudden he uses his disguise kit
to put on a little cheerleader uniform.
Who's Bart cheering for?
It's old Bart in a little cheerleader outfit.
No, Bart looks the exact same.
Has an H today.
The hair.
Very hairy armpits.
In order to see who wins,
why don't we have one of you make five attack rolls
using your dex modifier and proficiency bonus
if you're proficient with bows.
And then the other one make five
and we'll see who gets the most hits.
Should I roll with my longbow?
Okay, you said modifiers, dex modifiers.
Right, because, like, you're not actually attacking.
You're not using your equipment.
It's, like, whatever, like, little dinky bows
that they have there set up.
What's my dex modifier?
Your dex modifier.
Plus five.
Yeah.
Okay, so how many?
You want to do four, five d20s?
Yeah.
All right.
Ka-chow.
You got some good ones in there.
That's a 17, a 16, a 17, a 19, and an eight.
All those plus five.
I don't want to do the math.
Mud, you see Kyborg step up and most of his shots look pretty good.
One of them, you can definitely tell Kyborg's a little off his game there.
Okay.
Go and make your rolls there, Mud.
It's a dicky boop, dicky bow.
Mudcast enhance ability.
Oh my God.
And gives myself cat's grace,
which gives me advantage on dex checks.
But that's dex checks.
You would roll D20s and add your dex modifier
and your proficiency if you're proficient with bows.
Okay.
No, no, let him cook because he just rolled two twos.
I'll do then guidance instead.
Okay.
Since that gives me extra D4.
Thank you.
I was about to ask you,
like it's been a minute
since we've encountered guidance, I think.
Okay.
So that's 15, 16, 3, 2, 4.
Bad ones.
Those all get plus seven
and then you can add these five numbers
to those as well,
which is 1, 3, 3, 4, 2.
Your first couple of shots ring true.
And after the first two shots, Kyborg's definitely sweating.
But then, I don't know, maybe a little bit of dirt gets in your eye or something.
And your last couple of shots aren't quite up to par.
Very narrowly by the skin of his teeth, Kyborg does manage to rack up a couple more points than you.
The person running the archery range rings a bell and says,
Winner, winner! We have a winner!
Woo!
I think it's yippee.
Or what was it?
Whippy.
Whippy.
Whippy.
Whippy!
And the person running the booth shoves a prize into your hands, Highborg.
What is it?
It's a little goldfish in a bag.
Oh, I don't want it.
Do you want this? I don't like live animals.
You're the live animal guy.
Sure, I'll take care of it.
Maybe it's something disguised as a goldfish.
I'll do a
perception check to see if it's
really a goldfish.
Make your perception check. It would probably
be a nature check, but whatever.
Oh, it's disadvantage, right?
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
16.
You don't remember goldfish having such sharp pointy teeth.
Yeah, you keep it, Mud.
It's fine.
But I do do a backflip to celebrate my victory.
Do do.
I still got it.
Nice.
What'd you roll?
Where's your check?
Your acrobatics check.
Okay, here we go.
Oh, 12. Oh,
12. Oh, God. You rolled
a 2 and you have a plus 10 modifier.
It's not graceful
by any stretch of the imagination, but you do
bust out a very wobbly
backflip. And then it goes to my hip.
You remember that old video of the guy
that has the nunchucks and he does a
backflip and then
hurts his head and then falls into a wall.
To the side, yeah. I do that
when it gets to tree.
Thank you for the new pet, K-Berg.
I will name him
Smudge. Smudge. Smudge is
Prince.
Mud, you make me a nature check.
Not going to be much better than... Oh yeah, I forget.
You're the druid with not great nature checks.
I'm the druid with a plus
one on intelligence yeah what a pretty goldfish that's lovely there's also a small wooden stage
with what appears to be like a backup band and a little petting zoo set up there as well right
do you have any new pieces that you've been working on you'd be able to share? Sure do.
Bart's always working.
It's a slightly raised wooden stage,
and Bart, you know, you have a musical background.
You can tell that the band is just there to accompany anyone that wants to go up
and sing their favorite song
or play an instrument as well if they want.
It looks like they have some instruments set aside
that people can choose from.
Yeah, I'll play the good old lute.
You can use the new kazoo I made.
Could I do both
the lute and the kazoo?
Where it's like strapped.
Peter Franton? Or whatever he talks to
or do you feel?
But the thing is that every time I play
the kazoo, Chris has to make the sound
that the kazoo makes.
Micah just called you
Bart Dillon.
Yeah.
And don't wear it out. Alright.
A one and a two.
Yeah!
Woo! That was really good.
Ichiyu, I guess, you know, we had Chris doing the kazoo sound,
but Bart, you're the one performing, so go ahead and make a performance check.
Oh, I sure will.
33.
Wow. Oh, my God.
Bart, it's very apparent that you've kept up with your
performances and as you're performing
you can hear whispers amongst the crowd like
Sideshow Bobs. From the Sideshow
Bobs? I saw them
in concert years ago. Wow.
Then when you finish your song there's like thunderous applause
in the courtyard. Is anyone throwing their
undergarments at me? Yeah, yeah, sure.
There's a spattering of undergarments on the stage.
I throw a brazier. Not a brazier, but a brazier.
Just throwing
an entire light fixture at
Bart.
It's an inside joke from
80 years ago.
I thought Bart was going to say that he forgot his underwear
so he was looking for some new ones.
Hey, you don't know what he
needs it for. I forgot to pack underwear.
Why didn't you make me do an animal handling check for that fish?
I would have rolled better.
You weren't trying to handle it?
The last thing you all have not investigated yet is there's an exotic petting zoo as well.
Can we go look at it?
Yeah, let's go look at it. I think all of us want to go look at that.
What's in there?
There's a wooden pen housing cute exotic creatures.
There's a baby aurochs, a baby foxer, which is a combination of otter and fox,
a baby owlbear, and a baby sliger, which is a hybrid seal and tiger.
Kyborn pulls out his bow.
Oh, another shooting range.
Oh, God.
No?
No, remember the hamster.
Don't do it.
Oh, God.
Okay, I'm going to go play with the owlbear.
Yeah.
The biggest, most dangerous thing he listed.
Make an animal Hamlet check.
Oh, is it a baby owlbear?
Yeah, baby owlbear.
Adorable.
I've seen those in Baldur's Gate.
Nine.
They're not trying to murder the party goers.
Yeah, the owlbear likes to play a little rough, Gum Gum.
That's okay.
How do you want to play with it?
Well, I guess we're going to wrestle.
Oh, okay.
It makes sense.
Baby owlbear's playing rough, so Gum-Gum starts wrestling with it.
Hey, do you guys remember when Gum-Gum killed that owlbear at his birthday party?
Oh, God.
He hugged it too tight.
Make a grapple check, Gum-Gum.
Let's see who wins, you or the owlbear.
You can either use strength or dexterity.
It's 15.
15.
All right.
The Owlbear is going to roll with strength.
It's a baby.
I'm going to say it gets plus two on this roll.
I'm okay letting it win, too.
Oh, 15.
It ties.
Neither of you can get the upper hand.
You both keep going back and forth over who seems to be winning in the wrestling match.
Affirmative, Mr. Owlbear.
I was going to say that makes sense for Gum Gum because then that's just a hug.
True, true.
Man, what a perfect role.
Anybody else want to pet or play with any of the other creatures?
What are there again?
There's a baby aurochs, a baby foxer, which is a hybrid otter fox,
and a baby sliger, which is a hybrid seal and tiger.
I want to go to the aurochs.
Oh yeah, it's like the cutest little baby aurochs
you've ever seen in your life. It's absolutely
adorable. You got a dad?
You got a mama dad?
I could be your dad. I'm sure it does, but
you don't see them around anywhere.
They just seem like they brought out the baby versions of these
animals. I go to the foxer
and it reminds me of Fred,
but also all the Valrazians that I killed.
And I pet it, thinking about those things that I've done in my past.
You have gotten dark in your old age.
I don't want to talk about it, Mud.
Yeah, Mud just jumps in the pen and brings Gumbo in
and just kind of, I guess, I don't know, I guess Mud would want to turn into something like maybe an aurochs itself to like just kind of run around and play with the animals.
Okay.
Yeah.
So you turn into an aurochs.
And how do you want to play?
Do you want to play specifically with the baby aurochs or with all of them in general?
I want to see if I can do that thing where like certain dogs in the dog park get all the other animals to like be running around and they're all just kind of like racing around the whole thing.
Yeah.
See if I can get like just a big old like stampede going for fun.
Make an animal handling check.
See if you're able to entice the animals to race around.
All this is happening.
Bart is petting mud.
28.
Cowborg is sports betting over who wins.
28. Yeah. You successfully betting over who wins. 28.
Yeah, you successfully managed to
induce zoomies in all of the
BBI hosts that are there.
Yay!
Do they have like names?
Like the owlbear, do they have a name?
Meow!
Aww, what a beautiful name.
I asked the owlbear what its name is. I can speak.
Its name is Bark Scratch. Gum speak. Its name is Bark Scratch.
Gum Gum, its name is Bark Scratch.
Hi, Bark Scratch.
I'll scratch your bark if you scratch my back.
You look at the claws on the owlbear,
and even though it's a baby,
you do wonder if there is much wisdom in that plan.
Gum Gum, you take 18 slashing damage.
As you are playing with the different animals
and asking the baby owlbear its name,
you hear a fanfare, and out from the back doors
comes an eight-tier cake
rolling precariously on a small silver cart.
Each tier of the cake has been painstakingly decorated
to depict each of the Infinite's adventures over the years.
The live band begins playing the traditional
happy birthday song, but Lord Jaime
very quickly jumps up and interrupts
them and says, Bart, why don't you
come up and perform an original version
of the birthday song for Gum Gum?
And your friends, all of the Infinite's, come up
and give Bart a hand. Alright, we're each
going to be doing a different
verse. Alright, boys, we
all know it. Alright. I'll start.
Okay, I'll go next. Alright.
One and a two and a
one, two, three. Gum gum,
it's your birthday.
It's a very special day for your
birthday. Gum gum,
we love you. Gum gum,
it's your birthday.
Gum gum,
it's your birthday.
You are such a special boy!
Go Gum, it's your birthday!
We got you a great big toy!
Friends, friends, thanks for the birthday!
Friends, friends, thanks for the birthday!
Friends, friends, thanks for the birthday!
Friends, friends, you the birthday Friends, friends
You made my day, day
Gum, gum
It's your birthday
You're a lovely little lad
Gum, gum
It's your birthday
I hope today will make you glad
Gum, gum
It's your birthday
You're a hundred years old now
Gum, gum it's your birthday. You're a hundred years old now. Gum Gum, it's your birthday.
Every time I see you, I say wow.
Everyone in the audience begins applauding and cheering.
And little Jimmy pats you on the back and says,
blow out your candles, Gum Gum.
And at the very top of the cake on the eighth tier
are 100 lit candles waiting to be blown out.
Okay.
Esquire Erica shambles up with a ladder and offers it if you need it.
Gus, I'm begging you.
I don't want to back around DM.
Please make him do some sort of dexterity check.
Please.
Yeah, I'll climb up the ladder.
Did I just do it?
Make an acrobatics check to see if you're able to successfully do it without falling into the cake.
Oh, please fail.
Please fail.
Please fail.
Twenty.
Ah!
Oh, that's pretty good.
You inhale and let out a giant breath of air, and the candles go out and everything goes dark.
Oh, no.
You hear the shattering of glass clattering to the ground, followed by footsteps scampering all around.
What is the meaning of this? Wait, who's there? Unhand me at once! Please, my friends, save me!
Four mysterious voices reverberate off of the walls. They somehow sound familiar, yet unrecognizable.
Though you may forget yesteryear, time remembers every moment.
It is unforgiving, relentlessly stripping away everything in its path.
You may delay the inevitable, but time will always catch up.
In other words, every second is of infinite value.
Prepare yourselves, heroes, for vengeance.
82 years in the making.
Chandelier sparked to life, lighting the hall once more.
And there doesn't seem to be any new faces around you, just one that's missing.
Little Jimmy.
No! No!
Did you have a lot of soda to drink right before that?
They started as a yell and then it became a burp.
I'm sorry, guys.
Whippy!
Kyber just drank an entire liter of Sprite.
I'm wafting at the air.
It smells terrible.
Esquire Erica seems to be running around frantically.
What's happening?
Where's Lord Jaime?
Where did he go?
Nothing can happen to him.
It seems like something did happen to him.
Well, I had dark vision.
Can I relay anything that I may have seen?
Or it was this magical darkness.
It was some type of magical darkness
because we were unable to see through it.
Cop out. It doesn't work of magical darkness because we were unable to see through it. Cop out.
It doesn't work in magical darkness.
Yes, there were four different voices.
Could any of us tell if we recognize any of the voices or if they sound familiar?
You said they sound familiar, but not at all.
One sounded pretty familiar.
Bart, why don't you make wisdom check?
I'm going to do two.
Can I join in?
Sure.
Wisdom check.
I will too.
I only rolled a 10.
17.
Here's mine with my plus zero.
Five.
The wisest party of all.
Gumbo number five.
Gum gum with a 16.
Nice.
Birthday boy.
Didn't I say you had a disadvantage on wisdom checks or what was that?
Yes, let me roll again.
Gum gum with a three.
That's where it is, yeah.
So it's 17 for mud, basically.
17.
You can't quite place it.
There's something familiar, but not quite in your head.
You can't quite put your finger on it.
Okay.
I think mud would turn into an owl,
get to the top of the area and look around
and see if there's any like clues of what happened.
An exit, an entry, a trail, anything like that.
Make an investigation check for me, Mud.
And while Mud's doing that, could I look around like on the floor to see if like there's any pieces of fabric or like hair or anything like physically that these people might have left behind?
Yeah.
You make me a survival check then, Bart.
I'm going to deal with Muds first while you do that.
What'd you get there, Mud?
19.
You know, you take to the sky and begin looking around
and from the air, you're able to spot
near the funhouse mirror where the topiaries were,
you see a semi-circled wreath made of golden leaves.
You recognize it as Lord Jaime's crown.
Lord Jaime.
It's dead, it's crowned.
And now that you see that and you think about it,
you realize even though you heard the sound of breaking glass,
you don't see the signs of broken glass fragments anywhere.
The mirror itself is intact.
Bart, what did you get on your survival check?
A nat 20 for a 25.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, you begin investigating and immediately you see several sets of footprints found on the mosaic tile floor.
There's four separate sets ranging from small to medium-sized humanoids trail from the Funhouse Mirror between the cake and the topiaries.
Amongst the prints are a set of drag marks leading straight into the Funhouse Mirror.
On top of that, you see there's a handprint of blood found on the frame of the Funhouse Mirror.
And based on the size of it, it seems to match the large of little jimmy so like he was bleeding when he was dragged in
yeah possibly kyborg is you know he wants to join in on the investigation so he walks over to the
birthday cake and then takes a big scoop of it and then tastes it just to see what it's made out of
a big scoop of the birthday cake make um what that be? Make an investigation check.
You're investigating the cake. Okay, that's with my
minus one. Yeah.
That's a zero.
You've never had a cake like this before.
What is it? You've never had cake.
My eyes narrow and I say, delicious.
What is a zero on tasting a cake?
You proclaim to the audience that it's the most delicious pie you've ever had in your life.
He just shoves it up his nose, doesn't know how to eat.
It's birthday cake, everyone.
It's birthday cake.
So you said the four footsteps went from the cake to the topiaries.
He's describing that clearly they must have come from what seems to be that mirror
grabbed Jimmy and gone back.
Okay, because Jimmy was by the cake.
Correct.
You would think that seems to be the case because the drag marks that you notice lead
from there towards the funhouse mirror.
He said they're humanoid footprints, all of various sizes.
Small to medium.
Yeah, ranging from small to medium sized humanoids.
I mean, the mirror's obviously a portal, right? It's got to medium. Yeah, ranging from small to medium-sized humanoids. I mean, the mirror's obviously a portal,
right? It's gotta be. Or some sort of
illusion that's covering up where
the mirror was, because there's no glass.
But we heard the sound of broken
glass? That's what I'm thinking. The closer
we get to it, the more we might realize
that it's like a, you know, an illusion
of some sort. Can we go to the
Funhouse mirrors, like, over to them?
And then, can I do detect magic?
Yeah.
So you're investigating the mirror?
Yeah.
I want to do my,
um,
detect magic.
Yeah.
Detect magic.
It's my,
it's not called detect magic,
but it's whatever it is.
Show me the magic.
There it is.
I was,
I was waiting for it.
The mirror seems to be emanating with some type of conjuration magic.
There's some type of conjuration magic. There's some type of conjuration magic.
And now that you're looking at it, you know, you focus your attention on it.
You see that along the mirror's frame are runes written in four different languages.
Oh, do I recognize any of the languages or does anyone else?
Yeah, you recognize some of them.
They all seem to be saying the same phrase over and over.
Look within.
It's written in druid, elvish, halfling, and orc.
Look within.
Look within.
Bart does the thing where he pulls the collar of his shirt out and looks down into his butt.
Kyborg goes up to Gum-Gum and opens his mouth and looks inside.
Say ah! Say ah!
Mud is just shaking his head.
You gotta look within, Mud. Look within.
Mud goes up to the mirror
and tries to put a hand against
the mirror. Turn into a kangaroo. Look into
your little pouch.
Is there an inn nearby?
Like a tavern or an inn that
we should investigate?
Oh. Mud, you walk up to the mirror and touch it.
And you feel the glass envelop you like a thick, swirling soup of prismatic colors.
Ooh.
And you disappear from the view of everyone else.
Well, I guess there's no time like the present.
Bart does the same thing and touches the mirror.
I have a touch.
Gum-Gum says as he touches.
I don't know what lies ahead, so I want to make sure that I say goodbye to my beautiful
wife, Lin-Mir.
So I find a nearby object and I kiss it.
What object?
What do I got?
I mean, you're in like a castle that was set up for all kinds of party activities.
Birthday cake.
You could find that topiary that Gum-Gum carved earlier.
Yep.
Yeah.
I go to the topiary and I kiss it.
All right.
The face of Lin-Manuel magically appears and returns the kiss.
Yeah.
And I say, hey, we're on an adventure.
Crazy, right?
Anyways, see you later.
And then I go and I do a backflip, forefront flip into the mirror.
You got to roll the acrobatics check.
Watch this, honey! That's a
23. Alright, it's good.
So, the same thing happens to all
of you. You pass through the mirror and feel the glass
envelop you like a thick, swirling soup
of prismatic colors.
Fragments of reflection spiral past you with
faces and vistas, many of them you've never seen.
Finally, you tumble onto the
floor, or is it the ceiling?
You appear to be in a square room, purely made of glass, but perhaps I should be clearer.
It's not a cubed room.
It's specifically a square.
You can look side to side and up and down, but depth is no more.
What?
Everyone and everything is now two-dimensional.
We're cartoons!
How are we supposed to look within if we're two-dimensional?
There's no in! Oh no!
You're gonna have to find out how that happens
on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon
Oh my god
Well, thanks for listening everyone
We'll see you in the next part of this Infinite One-Shot
Well, not really one, I guess
But, I mean, you know what I mean
And be sure to check out Stinky Dragon Adventures.
In November.
Available at StinkyDragonPod.com.
That's right.
It's a great way to support us, too.
It's available for first members.
If you sign up, that's like the best way to support us.
And we work really hard on this show.
We really think you're going to love it.
So please, please, please check it out.
Don't forget to check out Second Wind where we'll talk about this episode.
All right.
Thanks for listening, everyone.
Salut. Ma t listening, everyone. Salut.
Ma tedia.
I'm here to let you know that Extra Life is back
for another year of shenanigans
to raise money for a good cause.
Tune in Saturday, November 11th
for the return of the 24-hour stream
with the whole Stinky Dragon crew.
Did you know that you can directly support the show
and interact with us by subscribing
at stinkydragonpod.com slash first. Cool,
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They interact with us on the
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Again, that is stinkydragonPod.com slash first.
This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon
was produced by Ben Ernst,
written, edited, and composed by Michael Reisinger,
with additional editing work by David Savigny.
Here's a quick shout-out to the folks
who interacted with us on social media recently.
Here are some NPCs named after them in the episode,
like Jimmy, a.k.a. Jame Espejo, at JimmyKing411 on Twitter.
Esquire Erica, a.k.a. Erica Makes Things on Reddit.
We also want to give a special thanks to some friends who provided us with all of our characters in this episode.
Little Jimmy was played by Gustavo Sorola, a.k.a. AtSorola.
Esquire Erica was played by Kristen Bates, a.k.a. at Kristen K. Bates.
Go follow us at StinkyDragonPod.
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Interact with the community over on our subreddit,
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For access to the Discord, go to StinkyDragon.com.
And on the left side of the page
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Tune in next time for another thrilling
episode of Tales from the
Stinky Dragon! I hate to interrupt you,
but do you mind saying that one more time?
There was like a truck backing up
or a garbage truck while you read that.
And I heard the,
or while he said that,
and I heard the beeping.
It was Trevor's big old badonk.
It's true.
And he's backing that,
that butt up.