Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Infinight Infirms Pt. 3
Episode Date: November 7, 2023The Infinights fight not so Lil Jimmy and the Externs. Will they continue the cycle of revenge or will they choose to break it? Check out the first campaign over on stinkydragonpod.com or support us o...ver at stinkydragonpod.com/first! Join us on Discord: https://discord.gg/roosterteeth Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://shadyrays.com and use code DRAGON for 50% off 2 or more pairs of polarized sunglasses. Exclusive! Grab the NordVPN deal âž¼ https://nordvpn.com/stinky and get extra subscription time. Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee. Go to https://mistymountaingaming.com and use code STINKYDRAGON to get a FREE acrylic dice set of your choice when you spend $20 or more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a Rooster Teeth Production.
Compliments to y'all you cosmic horrors.
Fly on in to the Stinky Dragon for our latest mind altering mocktail.
All squidding aside, It's a mixture of
psychic whisper spice, crushed orange acre, cranial berry juice topped with freshly squeezed slime.
One slurp of this sauce and your tentacles will be tentacool. Previously our adventurers lost
their depth perception as they delved into a two-dimensional dimension.
They undertook unlocked doors, buckled some swash atop a ship, and tumbled over tumultuous treetops.
Now they're back in 3D land, but they find their little friend has turned into a formidable foe.
Nab some nectar, let's nestle in for a noxious narrative.
Hello everyone, welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
I am your dungeon master, Gustavo Sorolla, and I'm joined by four interrupting players.
No, one.
One interrupting player.
I'm pretty sure that came from John's microphone.
Who's over there?
Who's interrupting me? Let's see whose pictures lights up on the little
YouTube video. Oh, we have that now, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, we go, hey, it's
playing. I'm playing Kyborg.
The mighty.
Sorry, we changed it in
Stinky Dragon Adventures to The Unbeatable.
Yeah, it's Unbeatable. It's a joke.
Spoiler. Yeah, sorry.
What is he in the actual show?
Kyborg. Which show?
The actual show? Kyborg. Which show? The actual show.
The actual show.
The Mighty.
They're both shows.
The one that we're recording right now.
Hold on, hold on.
Kyborg, The Mighty, Wood Elf, Fighter 16.
Wow.
You're welcome.
Who else do we have over there?
I'm Chris Damaris, and I'm playing Gum Gum, the wizard, who's
actually a barbarian and a sorcerer.
So no wizard at all.
Sorcerer supreme.
So yes, not a wizard.
I am Barbara Dunkelman.
I mean, I am Barbara Dunkelman!
Why is everybody yelling today?
And I play Bart,
aka Bartholomew Finn, the
halfling bard level 16 as well.
I'm John.
I'm playing Mud
Bramblecrack, who's a druid.
And it works part-time at
Impure.
This is Impure News.
We talked last week about how it's 80 years in the future.
We didn't talk about the barkeep, though.
How old is he?
What's their story?
Is it just an AI recording?
Yeah.
It's a mixture.
The thing with the barkeep is he's telling legends past.
Ah, that's right.
It's true.
So this could be like hundreds of years in the future.
Thousands of years.
It kind of would still be alive.
Probably.
Yeah, so welcome.
This is the last part of the infinite one shot which
turned into three parts uh just because we were having so much fun i think we did called like a
two-parter at some point in the previous episodes it was supposed to be a two-parter but we're having
so much fun yeah i like how gus puts it as we were having so much fun aka we just like could
not move fast enough through things and we were just slowing
everything down removing a dimension really increased the time you would think with one
less dimension to worry about that you'd go be a lot faster i still don't know what that looks
like visually i was just like nodding my head and going gotta go to the north to the up at this
point you should be able to accommodate for our incompetence and know that we're going to.
I think he does.
See, that's Gus's incompetence.
That sounds like victim blaming to me.
We're like, you should know we're going to just go slow because of the aforementioned incompetence.
Just to help the mind's eye, maybe we'll show some visuals in Second Wind, which is our first only show, which you can watch.
If you're a first member over at roosterteeth.com
StinkyDragonPod.com. You can get more
information at StinkyDragonPod.com. And
first membership is basically like our Patreon,
so it directly supports what we do.
Please, we have bills to pay. Please.
My dog, he needs food.
He's been feeding his dog human food.
I wish
I wish our like when people sign up
for first they could be able to put like a little
message and just people would be like for
Blaine's dog
but not for Blaine
people are gonna go buy
just kyborg merch
just so that dog can eat
poor Dutch
feed your dog I know
he does he takes better care of Dutch he loves your dog. I know. He does.
He takes better care of Dutch than he does of himself.
Blaine loves that dog. Gus, what's going on in the show?
You all pass through the door and
you feel glass envelop you like a
thick swirling soup of prismatic colors.
Oh, it's one of those grocery room doors.
Grocery room doors?
It's a grocery store door.
Grocery room doors.
It didn't open in time.
That's just how his mom talked to him.
It's like, Blaine, do you want to go to the grocery room today?
He thought there was just an
automatic door? He thought it was
part of his house. I mean, to be fair, most
groceries are just one giant room.
So it's just a grocery room door.
It's technically a studio.
What were you saying, Gus?
You pass through the door.
You feel glass envelop you like a thick swirling soup of prismatic colors.
Fragments of reflection spiral past you until your feet land on a dim mosaic tile floor.
Your vision adjusts to a third dimension, depth.
You and your surroundings are back to normal.
You find yourselves back in the ivory grand hall of Castle Espejo. Yay! A voice calls out, stole from me and you think we can just be friends it turns out i'm not the only person you left in
the wake of your careless collateral damage you tampered with time to save the day discarded
yourselves to a destiny of devastation that is your past selves take a look in the mirror and
say hello to the infinite externs four distorted albeit younger versions of yourself step out from the shadows. Authority Barbarian, a Gaunt Bard, a Defiled Druid, and a Metallic Elf with two left arms.
That guy's hot.
That was in character.
That was in character.
Quick, do something to make him turn into Lin-Manuel.
Lil' Jimmy holds out his hands.
His white mantle shifts to jet black.
A bow made of silver dragon scales appears in his right hand,
and a skull made of obsidian appears in his left.
Hi, little Jimmy.
I met the externs in the Elder Pines after they had been attacked and imprisoned by ruthless raiders.
They showed me this place, Isla de Venganza, where we found the skull of Ojo Porojo.
My brain breaks a little bit when I have to read
the Spanish words. Anyway,
we had a whole thing about it.
It offers lasting life for
those who seek vengeance. Holding up
the obsidian skull. No more warning
shots. Now you shall taste the wrath
my arrows truly bring.
Mr. Little Jimmy, are you mad?
Everyone go ahead and roll initiative.
I think he's holding a bit of a grudge, Gum Gum.
Why?
I don't know.
Apparently he didn't enjoy our encounter many, many years ago.
You know, every now and then I like to do some meditation, some affirmations, and just let go of things that have hurt me many, many years ago. You know, every now and then I like to do some meditation, some affirmations, and just let go of things that have hurt me
many, many years ago.
83 years
ago. 19.
17. Oh, I have an advantage.
I'm seeing if I have advantage as well.
14. 23. Yeah, you don't
need it. Yeah. Well, we'll see.
Remind me again what I have disadvantage on.
You should say. Oh, with the little things that we had. Wisdom? Was it wisdom? Oh, right, because we... I think mine need it. Yeah. Well, we'll see. Remind me again what I have disadvantage on. You should say. Oh, with the little things that we had.
Wisdom?
Was it wisdom?
Oh, right.
Because we...
I think mine's perception.
Yeah.
Gum Gum, you have disadvantage on wisdom, cyborg perception, Bart and Mud strength because
of your bad backs.
Wait, are we going to have to fight ourselves?
It's your greatest enemy.
I mean, unless we swap.
My greatest enemy are carbs.
Gotta keep... Get the breads. I mean unless we swap my greatest enemy are carbs Tackling a dinner roll out of your hands
Get along with the teeth. Yeah, man. I roll terrible for all of my rolls. Oh no
Terrible for all of my rolls.
Oh, no.
Oh, shoot.
You guys.
This is so genuine.
You guys.
You guys.
I'm going to murder you right now.
In the game.
Pulling back the curtain.
It's been a little while since we recorded the other parts of this.
A little while.
Yeah.
Also, I think we had a fight, and I realized after the fact that I have three attacks.
Ah. Well,
we're going to see how you put those to use because
Kyborg, you are up first.
After Kyborg is Mud and then Bart.
Okie dokie. All four of you
go before they do. I hate this.
I'm pretty sure...
Okay, then that's a sign. If we
just focus all of our damage on one of them,
we might be able to murder one before he gets to go.
If you guys want to say Bart for last,
who's the...
I mean, alternative universe Bart.
What's your name?
It's Brat.
Brat?
Brat?
What's Kyborg? Hey, hot elf!
Who is you?
Just go.
We'll get to it.
Hot elf, have you seen the grocery room door?
All right.
I pull out the longer bow of crystallina, and I size up my enemies, and I go down the line.
Where are they?
Oh, yeah.
Should we?
Yeah, you all are kind of in the middle of this hall, but kind of just south of the middle of the hall,
but pretty close to the middle by where the giant cake was from earlier your enemies are off to the north at
the northern end of the hall atop kind of a stage to the left i guess to the west would be that
archery range you all looked at earlier i guess it's kind of in front of you right like you would
fire from the right which is the east out to the left And then behind you to the south is where the corral and the topiaries are.
Where's Little Jimmy?
Little Jimmy's up on the stage with the externs.
So they're all kind of like in the same grouping?
Yeah, like Little Jimmy's kind of in the front of the stage,
furthest to the south, closest to you guys.
And then behind him are the four externs.
And what's the state of the giant cake?
Partially destroyed, but still mostly delicious.
It needed tapping.
You start attacking the cake.
And I'm poking.
That's actually one of the combatants that Bart has to fight for this.
Cut!
Alright, so what's my
extern self version?
Didn't we like see him
in a vision?
When y'all were in the 2D world, you went through a few different scenarios extern self version. Didn't we like see him in a vision? It was like, yeah.
When y'all were in the 2D world,
you went through a few different scenarios
where you all encountered them.
Your extern version is named Kai Forge.
Kai Forge.
What a dumb name.
All right, I aim at Kai Forge
and I say, this one's coming for you.
Gift of the Chromatic Dragon.
Chromatic Infusion.
And then I add lightning
to my arrows and
I'm going to take a shot.
And that's a 17.
Oh, that's a miss.
Gus's delight.
Hold on. That's your first attack.
No, it's not. You got lucky.
And
what you want to do is you want to use all of your
abilities right here at the top.
I've got a lucky feet.
Taking it again.
That's a 20 out of 16.
I don't think the mics picked that up.
Blaine, could you say that a little louder?
16.
Wait, okay.
That's fine.
That's fine.
I meant to do that
Yeah, the your shot flies wide. I forges head turns and tracks the arrow as it passes by and says
That's pretty cool
Magic arrow and miss you can use a bonus action to reroll the attack roll It gets a different target within 60 feet of the original target. So you have to change your target
You'd be like that was a warrant just a warning shot You'd be like, that was just a warning shot. Not! Yeah!
That was just a warning! What?
Not!
Call him Kai Fudge.
Kai Fudge. Wait, oh no,
Micah and Gus are... Oh, they're
conferring. Oh, I see, I see.
What? Your gift to the Chromatic Dragon's a bonus
action.
No! Why were you so excited?
Micah, what is wrong with you?
Micah was like pointing. I was like, what? Gift of the Chromatic Dragon.
Oh, and he was like underlining bonus action.
Oh, right, right, right. Did he just get something cool?
A big thank you to Micah
for helping me out. Yeah, big thank you to Micah.
Was there a painting of little Jimmy behind
it? Did it hit the cake? No.
There's really not much back there. It's just the
wall. We'll say it just hits the stone wall
and then bounces, clattering on the ground.
It's just the most embarrassing sound.
Everyone's just looking at it.
There's dead silence in the hall and the rattling of the arrow as it hits the floor.
Aha, you're distracted.
I shoot again.
And that's a 16.
This is actually murdering Blaine right now.
I want to point out for the audience. He rolled a two
He has a plus 14 on his attack. Oh my god, dude. I don't want to talk about it. Do you have an inspiration?
It's a podcast Blaine
What are you supposed to do? Can you do lucky?
I use the lucky feet once again. He's gonna I was joking when I said use everything at the top of this fight
There it is.
Okay, I'm taking that shot again.
Also, is anyone really low on health?
24.
The arrow flies straight to Kai Forge,
who spins around, points one of his arms at the arrow,
and shoots the arrow out of midair as it gets close to him.
It's so cool.
It's so cool.
And he's, like, really a lot better than you.
I don't know about that.
Someone's been watching The Shadow from the 1990s.
You know that reference, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
I shoot again.
Ah-ha.
20.
Kai Forge, are you for hire?
We could use a good archer.
20's a hit.
Ah-ha.
And then I roll my...
Nine.
I have a feeling this might not work.
This arrow pierces Kai Forge's
defenses and does hit him.
Or hit it, doing 9 points of
damage. Or does it? Because
I also have 46
of ice damage. Why ice?
Because my mom
She was
really cold.
Thank you for that
robust explanation.
It's, uh, it's, uh,
yeah.
Forever winner!
And then, I'm sorry.
Guys, I'm sorry.
You got this.
I just, like, I put the tea up to everybody.
Can we just do a redo of this whole episode?
Can we just do a redo? Ready? Start over?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I get the winter damage.
Is it winter damage?
Ever winter?
Yeah, I don't know.
Does your chromatic dragon do stuff?
Yes, it does.
So nine points of piercing, 13 points of cold,
and that's an extra one.
Farts.
Did that do something extra?
Yeah, one.
One? Wow. Okay. Hey, good job. And then I shoot it. Wait, that something extra? Yeah, one. One?
Wow.
Okay.
Hey, good job.
And then I shoot it.
Wait, that was my second turn?
Yes.
I shoot again.
Yes, and you brought a 17.
Oh, yeah, I accidentally clicked that.
I guess we'll count it.
Did I get that?
Yeah, the 17 was the third.
Because he attacked, missed, it hit the wall, clattered down.
Oh, no, that was right. Second one, Kai Forge, shot out of the air.
And then third one actually connected.
Oh. Yeah, so I think you're
done. You want to move or anything?
I want to move out of the country. This is so
embarrassing. That's it.
No, I'm just going to turn my
back and just throw my arms up and I wander
like this stupid bone hero. Oh, turns his back.
Okay. No, no, no.
I moonwalk
back. I'm just getting warmed up.
Roll for moonwalk. Yeah. What is that, a performance? Yeah. Okay. Kai Forge, are you okay? Okay, no no no Moonwalk back I'm just getting warmed up
What is that a performance?
Yeah, okay, no backflip
Kyborg are you okay? Are you okay Kyborg?
Haha that's a nat 20
That's where your rolls come in?
That's where you roll?
It's the most beautiful moonwalk you could ever imagine
Can you do that Kyforge?
Can you do that?
Can he?
Kai Forge says, analyzing.
Oh, he's rolling.
He begins doing a very stiff moonwalk.
That's the robot dummy.
All right, this will be my turn.
I think someone's phone is vibrating.
Mud, you're up then after Mud Bart.
Okay, Mud gives Kai Bird the little pat on the back.
Inspiration?
It's okay, buddy.
Oh.
No, I'm not using a bonus action for that.
You're just trying to like, it's not the ability inspiration.
You're just trying to. Just trying to make you feel better for that wonderful display of combative abilities.
Emphasis on the one.
That was three warning shots.
One of which hit.
Mud cracks his knuckles,
does a little head tilt,
and draws up some magic
and casts Tsunami.
What?
What's Tsunami?
I don't like the sound of that.
A wall of water
springs into existence
at a point you choose
within range.
You can make the wall
up to 300 feet long, 300 feet high, 50 feet thick.
What?
The wall lasts for the duration of the spell.
When the wall appears, each creature within its area must make a strength saving throw.
On a failed save, a creature takes 6d10 bludgeoning damage or half as much on a successful save.
Oh my god.
Well, it's an 8th level spell.
I guess that makes sense.
At the start of each of your turns after the wall
appears, the wall, along with any
creatures in it, moves 50 feet away
from you. Wow.
So they're just getting pushed backwards further and further? Yeah.
Any huge or smaller creature inside
the wall or whose space the wall
enters when it moves must succeed on another
strength saving throw or take 5d10
bludgeoning damage. Well, the casting time's one minute, so we'll get to that in 10 turns.
Why you got to be that way?
Just let me do Tsunami.
That's always the trade-off with like super powerful or higher level spells.
You either have to have some kind of reagent or you have to have time.
So I can't cast it.
You can cast it.
It'll just take 10 rounds.
I can do Shapewater.
That's a little tsunami.
I think it's a good spell, Mud.
Because a minute would be six turns, right?
Ten.
Ten.
Each one's six seconds, right?
Yeah.
Oof.
Okay.
Mud, cast a Goldie Oldie.
Oh.
Conjure animals.
Oh.
Oh, I thought the spell was called a Goldie Oldie.
Who'd you learn that?
I was like, ooh, I want that spell.
Conjure animals is what I was expecting.
It was what I figured you were going to go with.
I wanted to do something new, but I couldn't.
You still can in a minute.
No, I can't do it.
Well, we're rusty.
I am literally rusty.
Has someone oiled Kyborg lately?
Cricket, cricket, cricket, cricket.
Mud conjures. Do something weird. Well, Iaking, squeaking. Mud conjures...
Do something weird. Well, I'm going to do one that actually
I think is a little overwhelming, and it
makes people upset when I say the name.
Mud conjures two
Dionychuses.
Dionychuses.
Dionychuses.
Sponsored by Nike.
It looks like two, but instead
it's actually four.
Just kidding. It's actually four. Just kidding.
It's actually six.
Six Deinonychuses appear. What's a Deinonychus? It's a little like Velociraptor.
Ooh. Deinonychus.
Yeah.
Like little Velociraptors in the way
Velociraptors actually are
in real life? No, I think
it's what we thought. Jurassic Parks
version. Yeah.
So they're like, I don't think they're still quite as big as that.
But yeah.
Yep, there you go.
I can do sound for it.
Whoa.
It's actually quite good.
So they're medium beasts and you get eight of them.
Deinonychus.
I get six.
Six.
Okay.
When you cast conjure animals at a seventh level spell slot, it's three times as many.
Whoa.
And I get 2 for challenge rating 1.
So 2 times 3 is 6.
So I got 6 of these guys.
Didn't realize by being a druid you have to do so much math.
Yeah.
That's a lot of math.
Pay attention to school, kids.
Here comes a whole lot of other math.
So these guys get pack tactics.
So on an advantage on attack rolls against a creature,
creatures that one of their allies is within five feet.
So there's going to move as one unit just to make your life a little easier, Gus.
All right.
They also get a multi attack.
So they attack two times each.
They do travels in herds.
A claw and a bite.
Yeah.
How far away is the combatants?
They're about roughly 50 feet away.
That's great.
That's over 30 feet away.
And so as my dinies, dinos,os dinies they get to do pounce they get to do a claw attack on top of their
multi-attack so they pounce and then correct me if i'm wrong i think the way it works is
if the target fails the strength saving throw they're knocked prone and if they're not prone
they get like uh your diet your dinosaurs get like a bonus bite attack
right? Yeah. Okay so you've got
six of them
I'm just going to write times six here
so I don't have to write it on six times
alright how are you going to distribute them?
I'm going to have them all go for Kai Forge
Wow
What? Don't worry I've got him
okay
Do we not go for the head of the snake.
All right.
So it didn't matter before because, you know, you're just kind of shooting from range.
Just for your own, like, mental picture,
Kai Forge is behind what was known as Little Jimmy,
just to the left from your perspective.
So Little Jimmy's right.
So just a little to the west.
Okay, cool.
Go make daddy proud.
All right.
So they all do pack tactics and I need to-
Can I get both of your sounds together?
Ow.
Sorry.
Skyborg reacting.
Kyforge needs to make six DC 12 strength saving throws.
Yes.
For starters.
All right.
If he gets to do three moves with Lucky and Chromatic Dragon stuff, I get to...
Oh, don't worry.
I will make up time with my one action.
Don't do work, guys.
So, Kai Forge has a plus seven, so he needs a five or better.
I'm rolling my saves here.
I have a plus nine.
Just so you know.
I'm straight changing.
There's a plus nine.
Don't worry, Kai Forge.
You're better than him in every way.
Yeah.
Saves on all but one.
Succeeds on the first one,
but fails on the second one.
So the first one
does not get the attack.
The second one
knocks Kai Forge prone.
Kai Forge is now prone.
So I believe all of them
now proc.
So five procs of...
What is that?
Bite attack.
Okay.
So I should roll for bite?
Yeah.
Five bite attacks.
That is OP. You're just mauling that guy. Is it just damage?
It's piercing damage.
Do I just roll for damage or do I have to do an attack against you now?
If the target's prone, the Dionycus can
make one bite attack, so you have to make the attack
as a bonus action. So do I need to roll
for attack? Yeah. Okay. The bonus
action, that means the other ones didn't even use an
action. As my bonus action,
they get to now do their bite.
It's okay. I'm gonna roll. It sounds like
life finds a way. 5d20s.
And FYI, they all
are at advantage because the target
is prone. Oh, okay.
So roll 5.
Hey everybody, we're just gonna be here for a while
if you wanna like go for a walk
or something. Nah. So plus
5, so 23, 16, 6, 15, 17.
Do you want to just do the number you got plus 50?
That's what I told.
That's what I was telling.
So only the first one hits.
So roll four more for the second one.
This is your advantage.
I can do that.
Could you ask your dinosaurs to rip off his arms?
I think it's pretty cool. But keep them intact, right? Just in case. I don do that. Could you ask your dinosaurs to rip off his arms? I think
it's pretty cool. But keep them intact, right?
Just in case. I don't want them.
What do I?
I got my arms. Okay, 15,
10, 14, 15.
Imagine that's no. No, those are all missed.
So one goes. Now I'm gonna
roll for bite.
Bite.
Sorry, I'm just reading. The way John picked up his box.
Bite.
I'm sorry.
It's 1d8 plus 3.
So that's 5.
So everything we just did was just leading up to me doing the first part of my damage.
Which is 5 damage.
But importantly, it does make Kai Forge prone.
Ha ha!
If I know anything about Kai Forge.
What's this?
Kai Forge? Kai Forgege Being prone only gives him an advantage
Haha
We've only made him stronger
Okay
Now I'm sorry
Now I do two claw attacks
Per dino
With advantage
Yes
I'm gonna roll 12 d20s because it's two attacks and this is
with another plus five how many of those hit yeah you need a 13 or better one two three four five
five out of 12 out of 12 so i can roll seven more again correct Correct. Okay. Aha. I can see six out of seven of those,
so can you do it again?
Four of them hit.
So, but the five before that means nine hits.
So, nine successful hits.
All right, roll for damage.
Nine?
Nine.
And this will be plus 27.
33 plus 27 is 60.
It's like a feeding frenzy.
You like the dinosaurs close on Kyforge,
knock him to the ground, and just begin
ripping him to shreds.
Babies, can you
get the arm for daddy? Get the arm for daddy.
Bring me that arm.
That's a good baby.
Kyforge is still
alive. He's just on the ground being eaten.
He's not in a good space.
Kyforge, how are you?
How are you doing?
I hate Mondays.
Are you analyzing how much you're a little punk?
I want now a poster of Kai Forge prone on the ground.
Like one of those motivational posters that says,
I hate Mondays.
With six dinosaurs on it.
Dude, that's so good.
All right.
And then I do
a moonwalk. I was going to say, what does mud
do? Because I'm a moon druid. Make your performance check.
Oh. Is that going to be
required? Because I would love
to make performance checks at any
point for a bonus.
If you want to do a moonwalk. Oh, I'm a negative one.
That's 16.
I have a
plus 14 to my point.
Yeah.
Wow.
Kinesma is not my forte.
It's pretty good.
Your moonwalk is better than Kiteborg's.
How did that look?
It's good.
Was that good?
No notes.
It's great.
Kiteborg!
Kiteborg!
How did you like that?
The moonwalk!
Unable to see.
Ocular impediment.
He's ripping his...
Their eyes.
They're gone.
Yeah, Ben points out there's a lot of parallels
with the slimes in Kyborg here.
Oh, yeah.
The dinosaurs and Kyforge.
What if Kyforge was the nice one all along?
All along.
What if he was the good guy?
Could you imagine?
Is that it for Mud?
Yep.
All right.
That means it's Bart's turn after Bart is Gum-Gum.
Okay, Bart is going to cast Crown of Stars.
Oh, that's a good one so for this one seven like star motes of light appear to orbit my head and i could use a bonus
action to send one of the moats streaking towards a creature or object within 120 feet which i assume
yeah they're only about there yeah when you do so make a ranged attack spell blah blah blah so i'm
gonna cast that looks like you're you got hit and you got like your days. Oh, look at the cartoon.
And then I guess I should try to finish off Kai Forge.
Yeah, if you want.
One less person to attack.
What the heck?
I still think we should be going for the little Jenny,
but I'm going to aim one of my motes at Kai Forge.
Pew!
Pew!
And he has to make.
You make a ranged spell attack.
Yes, which is plus nine.
Big numbers, big numbers.
So that is a 26.
Yeah.
That hits.
And so that does 4d12 radiant damage, which is 28.
Ow.
Oh, yeah, Kai Forge looks like he's barely hanging on.
He's being eaten and now being disintegrated by radiant stars shooting from Bart's head
Damage
And then Bart moonwalk
Make that performance check 27 oh man Bart puts on a master class in Mark's just like crying, tearing up. That one girl doing the TikTok dance while you're weeping.
Yeah.
I didn't even notice.
You just broke Blaine with that.
And that's my turn.
You sure you don't want to like roll another 55 times?
I conjure 50 stars.
How many?
I wonder how many rolls that was. god we have dnd beyond yeah oh my god i know right it would be tough
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That's Bart's turn, so it's Gum Gum.
Okay, so they're about 50 feet away?
Yeah, roughly.
Kai Forge has probably scooted back a little bit with all the dinosaurs destroying him.
I guess everyone scooted back like a few bits of the moonwalk.
So Gum Gum is going to press his little immovable rod to shoot 40 feet,
teleport 40 feet.
Yeah.
And then he goes,
There's no reason to fight.
And then goes to Bart and Gum Gum, I guess, who, and he's like, here, I got you a cupcake.
You mean Brat?
Brat.
Brat and Grim-Grim?
Grim-Grim.
Brat and Grim-Grim.
So you walk right up to them?
Yeah.
Okay.
How many attacks of opportunity does that provoke?
Well, he's approaching them.
I'm not walking away from them.
Oh, okay.
So you said you go to, let's see, Brat.
Unless you pass by someone else in the process.
So yeah, Kai Forge is currently being mauled between Bratt and Grim Grim.
Violently kissed is how I like to think it.
Violently kissed by six dinosaurs.
And a star.
So, no, he didn't want to acknowledge that.
And a star.
And a star.
And they're right behind Lord Hymas.
So I think you would have to choose one over the other just because there's like... Okay. Acknowledge that. And a star. And a star. And they're right behind Lord Hymas.
I think you would have to choose one over the other just because there's like... Okay.
Well, then I guess I'll go to Bart and be like,
Bart.
Brat.
Brat.
Brat.
I know you like carbs.
Here's your cupcake.
What does Brat say?
Is he making friends?
Trying to make friends?
Maybe alternative universe.
Bart does like carbs.
Maybe Brat can't eat gluten.
There's a cupcake.
Brat's all about the fats.
Just eats butter.
He's a frat bro who likes fat.
Yeah.
Sorry, one second.
Gum Gum always has an ability to do something unexpected.
So you got to give me a second.
I know.
Did you miss it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
David says he's on the Bratkins diet.
That's a good one.
So where did you get, oh, where did you have this cupcake from?
I got a lot of stuff in my inventory.
I got a cupcake in my inventory.
Is this an 80-year-old cupcake?
If it's from the old campaign, it's an 80-year-old cupcake.
I've also found things to extend the life of cupcakes.
Preservatives.
Yeah.
Plastic baggies.
Make a...
What kind of check?
Let's do make a persuasion check, I guess.
It's 11.
Now I want to use my inspiration dice.
This seems like a good time to use the inspiration dice.
I agree.
25.
That's much better.
18 plus 7.
So what does that do, Gus?
Yeah, what does that do?
We'll say Brat did have a sword in hand,
and he kind of lowers it a
little bit and seems to take pause and consider the cupcake being presented to him yeah he'll
reach out and take it does he eat it not yet he's holding it what'd you lace it with nothing nothing
friendship and love i hope you like it yeah he alternates between looking at the cupcake in hand
and looking at you you see him also you dash a look across to Grim Grim.
And Grim Grim, you look a lot like
me.
And I like me, so maybe you can like
me, because you, if you like you.
Are you singing a song?
What is happening right now? Is this slam poetry?
Yeah, that's what it was. I like me, and you
like me. We're 50 feet away, we're like, what is he
doing? We're just moonwalking
in the back. It's just the three of us moonwalking.
Just hear her squeaking from her sneakers.
Yeah, that's all it is because there's no music.
And we also wear sneakers now because we're old.
We need the support, the arch support.
Of course.
We got them from New Balance.
This guy who sells them called Chip.
Is little Jimmy in this fight?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's actually standing very close to you.
The externs are right behind him.
In fact, Brat is pretty close right behind him. Okay. There's actually standing very close to you. The externs are right behind him. In fact, Brat is pretty close
right behind him. Okay. There's no need
for us to fight. I think
you just need some friendship.
If I want to try and put my friendship bracelet on
little Jimmy, what would that do?
What would that do?
Can I do that? You can try
and he, you know, would have
an opportunity to try to evade out
of it on top of that. Okay rage
Yeah, I mean you know whatever you want. I rage
sorry, I
Mean of the group I feel like gum gum would have the best relations with little Jimmy eight and five if memory serves
I feel like he probably groups us all together and I think this this
Man boy has been festering for 80 plus years. And so he forgot the details.
It's like Syndrome or whatever his name is from...
Yeah.
Incredible Boy.
Incredible Boy.
Five and eight.
I can use it whenever a creature hits you with an attack roll before your rage ends.
Creature takes 1d6 force damage or a bolt of light shoots from your chest.
And you can see within 30 feet, you must have a constitution saving throw or be blinded until the next turn.
Blinded?
On my rage, can I shoot little Jimmy?
With a gun?
I'm trying to disable him.
Gum Gums uses Glock.
No, with the blinding
light. Sure.
What does he have to roll for that? Well, I don't want to do the damage
part of it.
What are you going to do? You can't pick and choose.
Alright, I'm changing it from
the blinding thing. I'm doing the light.
If someone hits me, they take 1d6 force damage.
Okay.
Right?
That's defensive.
And then I'm gonna try and put my friendship bracelets on little Jimmy.
Okay, so make your attack,
and then little Jimmy will have the opportunity to try to evade it.
An armed strike?
Sure.
Recklessly! Okay. That's a arm strike? Sure. Recklessly.
Okay.
That's a 26 and a 25.
Ooh.
Okay.
You know, it's recklessly.
So we'll take the 26, which is sufficient.
Little Jimmy, though, is going to try to evade it.
He doesn't want you to touch him.
He's going to make, we'll say, a dexterity check to try to, like, pull his hand out of the way in time.
Plus 13.
22.
Okay, we'll say yeah, you're able to slap a friendship bracelet.
Do you want to do it on his left hand or his right hand?
Which one is his dominant hand from what I've seen?
Well, if you remember when he has a, if it matters, he has that bow in his right hand
and that obsidian skull in his left hand.
Yeah, that's probably the one with the skull, huh?
Yeah, the po-ho-ho-po-ho-ho-ho.
Po-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
Hablas espanol?
Yes.
C is the word you're looking for.
You couldn't even get that word out.
So you put your friendship bracelet
on little Jimmy's left hand.
I think Blaine was blushing
when you talked to him in Spanish.
Carrying the skull, he was a little bit.
I got flashbacks to when I was in Mexico.
I tried to buy a Batman toy,
and I thought it was $20, it was $200.
And they were like, what are you doing?
Oh, that's great.
Okay, so you put it on Little Jimmy's left hand.
Okay, and I have a question.
Okay.
The spell Warding Bond.
This spell wards a willing creature you touch and creates a
missing connection between you and the target until spell ends.
I guess if a willing creature I touch, it's like, does that
count if it's, if it's Garm Garm?
It's a willing.
Yeah, but I'm me, but he's me.
Yeah, but it's not.
He has his own will though.
I didn't know.
I was just checking.
She has his own will.
It's you, but it's not you.
Yeah.
All right. I will cast ward. I was just checking. She has his own will. It's you, but it's not you. Yeah. All right.
I will cast Warding Bond on myself and little Jimmy.
I know what you get hurt.
Look what happened to Kai Farg.
Wait, does that have to be plus?
Does Warding Bond give him protection?
Yeah, but he has to be a willing creature.
He's not a willing creature.
Are you?
Okay, never mind.
We just went over this.
I forgot.
I forgot.
I was trying to. All right, then I just have it on him just to let the audience know there was no like a cut in time
That is the amount of time between when Gus said they have to be a willing creature and cool
So I've got him handcuffed grab the skull grab the hope of all
Okay, I guess can I grab the skull grab the oh okay I guess can I grab the skull how many actions yeah we're starting to get
a lot of actions here you gave a cupcake I get two attacks I don't know if I can like punch it
two attacks so what would be your attacks so he did the immovable rod that's what a bonus action
yes okay oh yeah I'm probably out right oh yeah he'll give you this one, Gus. You know what? I forgot about
that it has to be a willful creature.
Yeah.
Anyway, I'm happy with my decisions.
All of them.
I'm glad you are, Chris.
I'm sure you are, Chris.
Is that it for your turn?
Don't ask that.
And Dirt,
what's M mud's evil?
Muck.
Doppelganger.
Muck.
And muck.
I think you're cool too.
Dirt.
I don't know.
It's like dry.
It's a little more dry.
What is mud but dry dirt?
Or wet dirt?
Hmm.
Wow.
How insightful.
Deep thoughts with gum gum.
I'm done.
That shakes me.
Hey, guys.
Chris is done with his turn.
What happens now?
Okay. Well, it's little Jimmy's turn. Wow. They're done. Hey guys, Chris is done with his turn. What happens now? Okay, well,
it's little Jimmy's turn. Wow.
Look at what he's gonna do.
Pam, pam, pam.
Yeah, little Jimmy's not happy about having a
friendship bracelet on right now, especially with
someone he doesn't consider a friend.
That was a hard one.
We weren't friends when I last
put on the friendship bracelets
And we turned out really good friends
No, we didn't
We're literally in a fight with him
Because he's trying to wreak vengeance on us
He's trying to assassinate you
So this is like a flashback for him
The friendship bracelets is how
You've triggered him
How this all started
No, that's how we became friends
This poor man's trauma has come back.
Exposure therapy.
Let him cook.
Not again.
Oh, no.
Not again.
Mutt starts moonwalking out of the building.
We can only moonwalk together.
I say to little Jimmy.
Okay.
All right.
You're in close little jimmy is gonna drop the bow in his
right hand for now oh an interesting choice and uh unsheathes a gnarly looking i wanted
very curved dagger we went oh oh and he tries to put his dagger in you, Gum-Gum.
What?
Who could have saw that coming?
Ouch.
Quick, Gum-Gum, get away.
Oh, wait.
All right, well, what'd he do?
Let's see.
He tries to swipe at you, hits AC 17.
Dang, that boy's got a...
It hits 17?
That boy's got a bus.
Is that...
I'm 17, so that's...
That does hit, then. Yeah. Oh, but you attacked recklessly, so he has advantage anyway, so I's got a buff. I'm 17, so that's a hit.
Yeah.
Oh, but you attacked recklessly, so he has advantage anyway,
so I get to roll again.
Well, you already hit, though, right?
Yeah, 17.
I want to see if I crit.
Yeah, I knew that's why.
I knew that's why.
Oh, wow.
So that hits.
Gus had the hugest smile when he said,
so I see if I crit.
Oh, yeah, duh.
Yeah.
So that puts some damage in you.
We bring back these beloved characters so Gus can have another chance to kill.
Gum Gum takes 22 points of poison damage.
Ooh, it's a poison dagger.
Yeah.
And you could make me a constitution saving throw just for fun while we're at it.
Okay.
17.
Okay, yeah, you don't feel so good.
I don't feel so good because my friends are trying
to fight me and i take 22 poison damage yes your race doesn't help with that no it doesn't but he
takes damage too oh yeah how much does he take 1d6 force damage now you want to do damage well no it's
i i just want to it procs automatically hurt himself yeah roll that damage for me stop hitting
yourself stop hitting yourself three Stop hitting yourself. Three.
It only hurts both of us when you hurt.
Little Jimmy's about to deal like 50 damage.
Yeah, how many attacks does Little Jimmy have?
Yeah, Little Jimmy says, good.
Oh.
And swings again with the dagger at you.
He's just repeatedly stabbing this boy.
And two, little Jimmy.
I was trying to protect you from evil versions or mean versions of us.
Oh, now they're mean?
They were mean.
You are with the mean versions of you.
No, I know.
And I didn't want them to-
Bart hears that and goes, oh.
Barbara looked offended.
I tell we befriended our other selves, they might attack us.
So that's why I'm trying to help you, little Jimmy.
What?
I don't want you to get hurt.
You're not following?
Who gave Gum-Gum a beer?
He's old enough now.
The other versions of us are bad, and they're trying to attack us.
And little Jimmy, I'm trying to protect you.
Yeah, he still attacks.
I'm with an arrow making a flow
chart in the dirt trying to figure out what he's
saying. Hitting AC25.
All the dinosaurs turn to
gum gum and do that little head tilt thing that
animals do. It's like they don't understand.
I just tried to ask Warding Bond to protect them.
I get what your intentions were, Chris.
We get it. I'm rolling so many dice they're covering up protect them. Yeah. I get what your intentions were, Chris. We get it.
We get it.
Man, my dice are just...
I'm rolling so many dice, they're covering up the numbers.
Thank you.
The hits.
Yeah.
Gum Gum, take 25 points of poison damage.
Oh, okay.
Hold it.
It was like right around 50.
And then he...
Oh, Jimmy.
It hurts me more than it hurts you.
Literally.
He takes four.
Four damage.
Four.
Got it.
Ah, got him.
I said you weren't feeling well, but just, you know,
so you know from a metagame perspective, you are poisoned.
I don't know if you want to check that status box on your...
On his birthday?
On your character sheet.
Happy birthday, fierce attacker.
Poison, poison.
Is that all little Jimmy's going to do?
Sounds like, yeah.
I think so.
Yeah.
Does little Jimmy want to do a moonwalk?
Yeah, little Jimmy's going to do a moonwalk, little jimmy's gonna do a moonwalk but it's
at disadvantage because he's got friendship bracelets on oh it's not good at all i rolled
a four and a three laughing at him yeah it sounded like it i remember why we hate you
we don't hate him we should have pants you when we had the chance
those many years ago.
Kyborg's undoing all of the work that Gum-Gum was trying to do.
That's Kyborg's job.
All right, it's Brat's turn.
Just everything in balance.
Brat.
Brat.
Hey, Brat.
Hey.
Don't talk to him, Gum-Gum.
He's a traitor.
Brat starts whispering in your ear, Gum-Gum.
Hey, that was awful how you failed that saving throw, right?
I don't know.
That's a little mad.
That's a little mad.
It was really awful how you got poisoned, right?
That's a little mad.
It's pretty terrible how you're poisoned now, right?
And on your birthday.
That's so sad.
You know, it's okay.
It could be worse. At least i'm around for a birthday
you are something else gum gum he uh puts his hand on your back and pats it seemingly like trying to
comfort you gum gum thank you did you like the cupcake make me a charisma saving throw what's
he doing nat 20 that's 22. whoa he's got the raise i'm so 22. Whoa. He's got the Riz.
I'm so angry with you guys.
He's so upset.
You can feel like when Brat puts his hand on your back,
you know, it seems like he's trying to comfort you,
but you can feel almost like anger and sadness pouring through,
like manifesting itself around the hand,
trying to overtake you.
But Gum Gum, bless you.
You're just so charismatic and dumb.
It just like bounces off of you.
Brat, I feel a lot of anger and sadness coming from you,
and that's okay, but lashing out at others won't help. We can get through this together.
What did that do, Gus?
Brad disappears from sight.
What?
Can I have my cupcake back if you're not going to eat it?
You can't see the cupcake either.
But he has more than one action?
Maybe.
That seems unfair.
All right, it's Muck's turn.
Even though I don't see you, I'm thinking of you, Brad.
All right, it's Muck's turn.
God, Gum-Gum, you came up here and you made such a nice target.
I mean, technically the barbarian is supposed to pull aggro. It's turn. God, GumGum, you came up here and you made such a nice target. You know, I mean,
technically the barbarian is supposed to
pull aggro. I guess that is
a good point. He just did it in a
very unconventional way.
GumGum's doing his job job. You hear
Muk begin
muttering incantations
and... Muttering.
Sorry.
Like my name.
Muttering. Gus had a very confused look on his face. and muttering sorry like my name looks like a meerkat trying to look around for something uh and the very ground under the feet
of the three of you not counting gum gum the the land under the feet of kyborg mud and bart
begins to like wither and begins rotting under your feet.
Not on our sneakers.
And that doesn't do anything right now,
but we'll deal with that when that comes up.
Huh, cool.
He changed the ground.
It's a gift for later.
Wow.
And Muck kind of begins changing form,
begins looking like a deformed, dripping bird of some type
and takes to the air and begins hovering and flying around the stage.
What is that?
That's Muck wild shaping to something.
That's it for Muck.
Kyforge, the unfortunate.
Kyforge the prone.
The unfortunate.
Kyforge stands up.
However, he is surrounded by six dinosaurs
distance attacks are at disadvantage at targets less than five feet away just so you know good luck Oh, no. He stands up and...
This is not good for me.
But, gosh, you're on our side.
Yeah, I am, totally.
He, you know, points an arm at one of the dinosaurs
and a bullet flies out of it,
trying to hit one of the dinosaurs.
Have one of the dinosaurs make a dexterity saving throw.
Okay.
12.
The bullet flies out and hits one of your dinosaurs.
Uh-huh.
Dino.
And seems to pierce it and continue on doing 31 points of piercing damage.
Yeah, that kills it.
Okay.
That's one.
Five to go.
Five to go.
Then Kai Forge spins around and then opens up one of its other arm and fires at a different dinosaur.
This one I do have to roll.
Deinonychus.
I can't say it.
That's why I keep saying dinosaur.
Deinonychus.
I don't know how to pronounce it, but that's how I say it.
Okay.
Dinosaur.
That's a seven plus nine, 16.
Yeah, that hits.
Doing 22 points of piercing damage.
Yeah, that kills it.
And the bullet explodes, affecting two other dinosaurs next to it have two
dinosaurs make dexterity saving throws 17 successful that's not gonna be that's a six
okay that one's not so the one that failed takes a little bit of fire damage from the explosion
keep track of this i know six points of fire damage okay it's still standing and that's all
that kai forge can do. Not bad.
Not bad considering he started the turn on the ground getting eaten.
I'll take it.
Not bad.
Good recovery.
It's Grim Grim's turn.
God, there's so many characters.
Yeah, it's a lot.
Grim Grim turns and looks at you, Gum Gum.
And you know, when I think of, I think when anyone thinks of Gum Gum, at least I do,
like in my mind's eye, there's like a very innocent, kind-looked Gum-Gum's eyes.
You get the exact opposite of that from Grim-Grim's eyes.
You see like cold, smoldering hate in his eyes when he looks at you, Gum-Gum.
Make a wisdom saving throw.
Well, I have a disadvantage with that.
Right?
Yeah.
I feel like Gum-Gum's eyes are far apart and grim grim's eyes are very close
yeah like right on the bridge of his nose oh man that was a the first one wisdom saving
throw was 18 that's pretty good but you have disadvantage right and nine yeah something about
the way grim game looks at you it just like shakes you to your core it makes you scared
metagame wise you're frightened. And poison. So I'm frightened.
And I try and run.
Do I try and run? I run when I'm frightened. But you're attached to him, right? I know. You can try
to run on your turn. Oh, okay. I thought...
Is it not instantaneous? He's frightened, but
being frightened doesn't make him flee.
It's not like an effect of it.
Oh, right. It's just a condition, right?
Right. That's everybody, right? I believe
so. Does Grim Grim have any more moves?
Grim Grim does have one more move.
Is it a moonwalk?
It's a little nastier than a moonwalk.
He reaches onto his back and snaps a thorn off of his back.
He's got thorns?
Yeah, he's real thorny and angry.
A literal thorn from his back or like armor that's got thorns.
Like he snaps like a...
It's part of him.
It's part of him.
Grim Grim, you need to get that checked out.
I have this lotion back at home.
He takes the thorn and throws it at Kyborg.
Oh.
He got it.
I was unexpected.
Well, you're the one who started all this with Kyforge.
Yeah.
And you started...
You're undoing all of Gum Gum's work here.
Yeah.
Okay.
I have enough time to prepare for it.
So I'm like, like, here we go.
Come on.
It hits AC 13.
That's got to miss.
You missed.
All right.
He misses.
He missed.
I tell Gum Gum.
He missed.
Everybody misses sometimes. Yeah. I tell Gumgo. He missed. Everybody misses sometimes.
Yeah.
What a loser.
All right.
That goes back to the top of the initiative order.
It's Kyborg, then Mud, then Dinosaurs, and Bart.
Don't mind if I do.
All right.
You know it.
You love it.
It's the longer bow, Kristalina.
I shoot it at Kyforge.
And that's a 32.
Oh, my God. Does that hit Gus? Hold on. Let me tell you. Yeah, it hits. I shoot it at Kai Forge, and that's a 32.
Oh, my God.
Does that hit, Gus?
Hold on.
Let me do it.
Yeah, it hits.
All right.
Doing 12 points of piercing.
He's got to be down by now, right?
Plus one, two, three. He's counting up all his damage.
I mean, look at how much HP you have.
46 of ice, which is 10.
That's 22 points damage.
22 points damage.
And then I do the
1d4 for the
Chromatic Dragon.
You give to the Chromatic Dragon.
You're just not into it like
you used to be.
He's older now. 23 points of damage.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Kai Forge begins
sparking and then crumples
to the floor. I did it!
You suck! Boo!
Yeah, you killed you!
Boo!
All by myself.
It was just me.
No one else.
All the dinosaurs turn their heads towards Skyborg.
I'm the best!
I'm the best there ever was!
Okay.
I'm on the floor crying.
Got it!
Okay, so now I aim my sights at Jim, let's say.
Jimbo.
And I say, forever winter!
And I fire my arrow, and that's a 25.
That does hit.
All right.
Matter of question for GumGum, for Chris.
Yeah.
Is there anything with your bracelets, like does it restrict little Jimmy's movement?
Does it put him at disadvantage for any attacks or anything?
Is that written in your...
Well, they can, like,
grow up to, like, 60 feet.
What? Yeah. Like the chain in between?
Yeah, but I think that's on me, so I don't think
he could do that. Gotcha, gotcha. Okay.
Yeah. When you said they, I thought you meant
little Jimmy. Yeah.
He could grow up to 60 feet.
Not so little anymore.
Oh, and the cuffs are in the shape
of a heart. I want to clarify.
That'd be really uncomfortable.
That sounds awful.
It'd be like either dig into the top of your wrist bone
or you could easily weasel your way out.
Well, I don't know.
Maybe they're like fat hearts.
So they're not like...
Or an anatomically correct heart.
You could see a cardiologist.
Almost a circle.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a lot of cholesterol.
I shoot a little Jimmy. That's 14 piercing,
15 ice,
and 2 lightning. 31?
31. Okay. Well, I have a third attack.
Should I use it, guys?
Come on! Yeah! Come on, let's go, crowd!
Use it! Use it!
Let's hear it from Mudd!
Everyone agrees. Use it!
Come on, Mudd! Use it! Use it. Come on, bud. Use it. Let's hear it from Bud. Use it. Everyone agrees. Use it. Thank you, Barbs. Come on, Bud.
Use it.
Use it.
Okay.
I'm afraid.
That's a, ooh, 18.
Nope, that does not.
Far out.
Shit.
Wow.
So strong, boy.
Oh, oh, I do have curving shot, and I haven't used a bonus attack or bonus action.
So that makes it come back?
Curving shot.
Well, it doesn't make it come back to me.
That'd be a useless power. was jimmy it does when you make an attack roll
with a magic arrow and miss you can use a bonus action to re-roll the attack roll against a
different target within 60 feet of the original target ah gotcha so i want to aim a grim grim oh
that's lovely a 33. yeah that uh that does hit okay Grim Grim. I know, but I feel for him.
Doing 11.
However, I have this thing where I can reroll piercing damage
if I don't like the original.
Do you not like that?
I mean, it's fine.
It's not very good.
It's fine.
It's fine.
I'll keep it.
I'll keep it.
And I'll do 46 cold damage.
Actually, does the cold damage only happen on my sworn enemy?
I think it does.
But let's read what Grifta the Chromatic Dragon does.
This is longer bow of crystallina.
This is mommy thing.
Oh, is it from the long?
It's my mommy thing.
I think that's only on your...
It's Blaine's mommy thing.
It's okay.
It's my mommy thing.
I think that's only on your sworn enemy.
Okay, cool.
Because that's why you have to say forever winner and everything.
But he died.
Two lightning though from Gift of the...
Wait, was Kai Forge your sworn enemy?
He was, but I reclaimed Forever Winter against Jim.
Jim, gotcha.
And then I curve shot to Grim Grim.
Gotcha.
Okay.
So, hold on, real quick.
I have an arcane shot, which is considered a special.
Am I right there?
What do you mean?
Well, it's twice per short round, once per turn.
When you fire an arrow from a short or long row
as part of the attack action,
you can apply one arcane shot option of your choice of arrow.
You decide to use the option when the arrow hits a creature,
unless the option doesn't involve attack roll.
So I don't think that that's considered bonus.
Bonus action?
No, it doesn't seem like it.
It says it's part of the attack action.
Cool.
So with that being said, I want to add Enfeebling Arrow.
A creature hit by an arrow takes an extra 2d6 necrotic damage
and must also succeed on a constitution saving throw, dc12,
or damage dealt by its weapon attack is halved until your next turn.
Ooh.
Ah.
So, okay, roll your necrotic damage.
This is Grim Grim, right?
Yeah, this is Grim Grim.
Stop throwing thorns, bro, or I'll be throwing these hands.
Five.
Five, okay.
And then Grim Grim needs to make a DC 12 constitution saving throw.
Correct.
It's plus five, so I need a seven or better.
Our combat rounds are a lot shorter in Groteth because we are not level 16.
We're babies.
20.
Okay, so he takes two or three.
You can round up.
It's cool.
You can round up.'s cool you round up
no no
his attacks
are halved
so he takes
the five points
regardless
but because he
made the saving
throw the second
part of that
doesn't proc
so his weapon
attacks will be
full strength
okay cool
if he had failed
then his weapon
attacks would be
halved
yeah it's fine
that's cool
I killed a guy
that's all I care
about
just to watch him die.
Rest in peace, Skyforge.
Rest in PP, I mean.
Moonwalk, moonwalk.
I'm going to roll for performance.
Cut planes, Mike.
Is that it for kyborg?
Yeah, hold on real quick.
One more roll.
So yeah or no?
That's a 10 on performance.
Not my best moonwalk.
Oh, no.
I'm so disappointed in you.
Oh, the externs win yet again. No. Yeah, I'm so disappointed in you. The externs win yet again.
Ah!
Yeah, I'm good.
Yet again.
Grime, grime, so scary.
Grime, grime.
Mud, you're up.
And then after Mud and the Dinosaurs is Bark.
Mud and the Dinosaurs would be a great band name.
I like that.
Very good band name.
What is the state of the ground underneath mud?
Oh, right.
That's right.
Kyborg, you would have had to deal with this too.
Thank you for reminding me.
Thank you, Mud.
Yeah, thanks, John.
Way to go.
I was trying to just do it so that I could get off it if I need to.
Well, I haven't moved.
That was another thing.
You can make your move.
But when you start your turn there, just something about the ground under your feet feels awful.
It makes you feel kind of sick.
Make a constitution saving throw.
Constitution saving throw. I'll do mine too since we're at this.
That's a 20, but also
I have... Oops, sorry, that was a check, but it still doesn't matter.
I have advantage. 7.
Okay. Let me deal with Kyborg
first, and then I'll get to yours, Mud. So Kyborg,
you do feel sick. You take a little bit of damage
from the defiled ground beneath your feet.
You take only
one point of necrotic damage.
And you feel like you should move.
Okay, I move.
I moonwalk out of there.
Okay.
And then Mud, of course, you rolled yours as well.
You rolled a seven, which is insufficient.
You do take some necrotic damage.
You take six points of necrotic damage.
And you are also affected by the poison status.
Baby damage.
Baby damage.
That's what happens when someone throws a baby at you
at full force.
Take baby damage.
I like that.
All right, what you gonna do, Mud?
What you gonna do with all that junk?
Mud steps out of the nasty bit of the ground.
So the four dinos, dino-nicuses,
how far are they from the next combatant if they
were on Kai Forge? Oh, they're like
right next to it. Directly next to it
or a five foot
spot away from them? Like,
they are in the next five foot square over.
So they are next to the square. There is no distance
between them. Correct. Okay. So yeah,
they were on Kai Forge. So to
the west of them is Brat and then to
the east of them is Grim Grim.
Okay.
Go for the little one, babies.
And they would have to make a check to see if they see Brat, because Brat disappeared.
Oh, okay.
Then they don't need to.
Then they go for Grim Grim.
Brat could be right behind us right now.
Maybe.
He'd smell him.
All right.
So they go for Grim Grim.
I'll go for the boss.
Go for Jimmy.
Jimmy's right there as well.
Okay.
So there's four of them left.
So eight attacks with advantage.
But they don't move 30 feet, right?
Nope.
Don't get to do that.
Okay.
Okay.
Can you see all those, Gus?
There's some 20s.
Yes.
Plus fives on all that.
So how many hit?
And I think that's two crits.
Two hit.
The crits?
Yeah.
Okay.
So the crits hit.
We'll set the crits aside.
And then I do six more.
Another crit in there.
Nice.
So plus five on any of those?
Two of those.
So three crits and one hit.
Yeah, three crits and one hit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're right.
Okay, and so those were...
Yeah, I just imagined all these windows on your train of animals.
Imagine a camel.
Get that animal out.
It's like a minority report thing.
You bring them all around.
Deinonychus. All right. That does claw, so that's three.
So I'm going to roll one, two, three, four.
Roll all four, and then we'll treat three of those.
The first three we'll treat as a crit.
So one, three, and three are crit.
Okay.
So I get, that's a D6.
So do I get six added to each of those?
Yes.
Okay, so let's do some math, everybody.
10 plus 18 plus 18.
46.
46 damage.
I beat me to it.
These math minutes are impeccable.
Math minutes.
Let us know if you at home were faster than Gus.
All right.
Yeah.
I mean.
I, in fact, was faster than Gus.
1-0-0-0-1-0-1-0-1.
Yeah, the dinosaurs descend on little Jimmy
and begin biting at him and tearing at him,
much to Gum-Gum's horror.
No!
Get away!
Oh, but my turn's not done.
Oh, no!
That was their turn.
Mudcast Bones of the Earth.
What's that?
Sounds like a cool song.
By Mud and the Dinosaurs.
Ah, yeah.
This one's called Bones of the Earth.
It's Little Jimmy and three combatants.
Little Jimmy.
Get it, Gum Gum.
Yes.
Okay.
Four pillars of stone burst from places on the ground beneath each of them.
They're five feet in diameter and go 30 feet in the air.
Whoa.
Cut into where this affects you guys.
If a pillar is appeared under a creature,
that creature must succeed on a dexterity saving throw
or be lifted by the pillar.
If the pillar...
How high is the ceiling?
It's like 50 feet.
Okay.
You just squish into the ceiling?
Yeah.
Could I actually make a pillar appear under a pillar?
I would say no, just because the pillar doesn't exist.
Like, they all have to proc at the same time.
Maybe.
You don't know.
You ever seen somebody cast this spell?
I'm very familiar with the bone thing.
So, no, I don't think you can do a pillar under a pillar.
Okay.
So, they all need to make DC 18 dexterity saving throws?
Yes, please.
Well, do we know? Should he check where he, where Brat is though?
Oh yeah, make a perception check.
Brat is invisible.
With disadvantage.
See if you can see him.
That's 28.
Not bad.
That's a 13.
Bad, but I have inspiration.
So I'm just going to use that.
16.
Yeah, you have, you think you have a vague idea of where Brad is,
so I'm going to go ahead and roll my saves.
DC 18 dexterity.
Yeah.
Brad, come out to play.
You see a pillar right next to you, Ryze.
How terrifying would that be?
Round one.
Just so that he doesn't take damage,
I'm going to put one underneath Gum-Gum,
and he can choose to automatically fail the save
and go up with the pillar.
Gotcha.
So if Jimmy goes up, Gum-Gum can go up too.
Gotcha.
Smart.
Does he give me an attack?
Is Brat plus six?
They're just up in the air.
They just get pushed up in the air.
So they have the high ground.
Yes.
Brat's a fail.
Muk?
Oh, Muk was already flying.
Oh, okay.
Could a pillar come from the ceiling down?
You could try to put the pillar.
Like Muk was not.
So Muk's flying.
Muk was not like 30 feet in the air. Like, Muk was not. So Muk's flying. Muk was not, like, 30 feet
in the air. So it would still
push him up. I got a better use of
this spell. It's simpler. I saw Brat.
Yeah, I'll say you perceived where he is.
Okay, I cause six
pillars to surround Brat.
Oh! So he's in a
cage of six pillars. Okay.
I like that better. That's neat. But is
he small like me?
He can get out.
He's a wily little guy.
Can he pass through
two-dimensional space?
Oh, I don't know.
Yeah, I'll do that.
That's much simpler.
Okay.
Is that it for you?
And then I moonwalk.
I'll tell you what.
Don't you take away my moonwalk.
Before your moonwalk.
I rolled a nat 20 on moonwalk. Oh, did you? Thank you very much. We't you take away my moonwalk. Before your moonwalk, sorry.
I rolled a nat 20 on moonwalk.
Oh, did you?
Thank you very much.
We'll get to your perfect moonwalk in a second.
Before we get to that, make me an arcana check.
I mean, I'm plus one, so I'm going to nail this.
That's a seven.
Okay.
You think you have a thought, but you don't.
What is that?
Guys, I almost had a thought.
Hey, guys, wait, wait, wait.
It was right there. Oh, never mind. Have you had one before. Guys, wait, wait, wait. It was right there.
Oh, never mind.
Have you had one before?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Multiple times.
I'm so jealous.
What are you talking about?
GumGum's just lost.
All right, Bart, it's your turn.
Then after you is GumGum.
And I take the terrain stuff?
Yes.
Does it matter that I'm resistant to poison?
I know you said it's necrotic damage, but it's poison.
You're resistant to poison?
We'll deal with that in a second.
Maybe a constitution saving throw and we'll see how we get there.
Constitution saving throw is a 17.
Just short.
So you're going to take necrotic damage regardless.
Let's deal with that first.
That's a high save.
High 18.
So five points of necrotic damage.
Okay.
And I'll tell you what, roll the save one more time for the poison.
So another 17. Yeah. That would the save one more time for the poison. So another 17.
Yeah, that would have been your chance to avoid the poison.
But no. But I used a lucky? Yeah, sure, why not?
Okay. I forgot you added that.
Just like me for real. Oh man.
Well, it's a four.
Just like Kyborg. Just like me.
Just like me for real. Use them all.
I'm gone. Do it. Do it.
No, I'll take the initial one, I guess.
So you are poisoned.
Okay.
But yeah, now it is your turn.
Hey, we're poisoned, buddies.
You too, Bart.
Make me an Arcana check.
Okay.
Arcana check.
Here it comes.
Come on, Bart.
Biggy bomb.
Gus is clearly trying to get us to...
I'm going to use a lucky for that.
He got an eight.
I got an eight.
I'm going to use a lucky for that.
It's got to be something with a...
I want to learn. I got an eight. I'm gonna use lucky for that. It's gotta be something with a ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. I wanna learn.
I want to learn!
Ten!
Man. You think mud almost gave
you a thought. Ew. Wow.
Could I build off of it? Could we put our
two half thoughts together and get a whole one?
I am a halfling, so.
Quarterling. Quarterling. Yeah, maybe if you had that
other quarter, it would've worked out. Ah, dang it.
So no, nothing? No, nothing.
Nothing?
Okay.
Does Kyborg want to check on Arcana?
I'll check.
He's not his turn.
Kyborg's a real dum-dum.
No.
Is there a way that I could place down something that is a 20-foot radius that only hits Jimmy and maybe like one of the other externs?
Grim Grim's the only other one that would be there because the munk is in the air and Bratz is in a little
prison. Yeah, I just didn't know how close they were to Jimmy.
Yeah, I mean Grim Grim is almost
pretty much right behind little Jimmy so
you should be able to do that. Okay.
I would like to try to cast
Synaptic Static.
I don't like the sound of that.
Which is I choose a point
within range and cause
psychic energy to explode there.
Each creature in a 20-foot radius sphere centered on that point must make an intelligence saving throw.
I assume neither of these creatures have an intelligence score of two or lower.
No.
And the way this is worded, this would also affect muck, even though muck is in the air.
Okay.
Because it's a sphere.
It's not a two-dimensional space.
It actually specifically calls out a three-dimensional space.
Okay, cool.
So I'll cast that.
Okay.
So they all have to make intelligent saving throws.
DC 17.
DC 17.
Do little Jimmy first.
Not very smart, huh?
Okay, plus three.
That's a nine.
So little Jimmy fails.
Failed.
We'll do muck plus zero, just like you guys, huh?
Who said that?
That's a two.
And Grim Grim, I'm going to bet, is not very good either.
Oh, look at that, plus zero.
What if Grim Grim was like the opposite and had like a plus 12?
That's a nine.
Yeah, they all fail.
They all fail.
All right, so after a failed save, which is all of them,
the targets have muddled thoughts for one minute.
During that time, it rolls a d6 and subtracts the number rolled
from all of its attack rolls
and ability checks
as well as its constitution saving throws
to maintain concentration.
Wow.
The target can make
an intelligence saving throw
at the end of each of its turn,
ending the effect on itself
on a success.
So do I roll a D6 for all,
like an individual D6
for all of them right now
or anytime it comes up?
Anytime they try to,
I think, attack.
This is a minus D6.
Or have a ability check.
Okay.
Or anything like that.
That's genius.
How do you defeat counterparts of the Infinites?
Intelligence.
Intelligence.
I knew it.
Brilliant.
And then...
And then how much damage do they take for the failsafe?
Does it do damage?
They take 8D6 psychic damage.
Oh, yeah, 8D6 on each of them.
Just a little bit.
God.
8D6. So that is 24 for each of just a little bit go 86 so that is 24
Potentially what it could have been because as you know, I have enough decision a time six is
48 no no 16 20 No. Eight times six. It's 48.
It is.
Oh, my God.
He's doing that just to gaslighting.
The great thing is he went with it.
I love it.
All right, yeah.
That's because he trusts you.
He trusts your little brain.
All right, Bart.
Oh, yeah.
So as my bonus action, I would like to shoot another moat.
At who?
Could I shoot it at little Jimmy's skull?
Interesting idea.
The black skull.
Called shot.
The skull he's holding.
What is it called?
Yeah.
Do you remember?
Yeah.
I'm checking if you-
The ojo.
Ho, ho.
The skull of the eyes?
He's holding a skull.
He's holding an obsidian skull.
Use that part.
Oh, yeah.
But I thought in Spanish,
isn't ojo eyes?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So the skull of eye eyes.
Eye eyes.
Ojo por ojo.
Oh, oh.
Eyes for eyes.
I'm so bad at Spanish.
Yeah, pretty good.
Well, Jimmy's job is eye for eye.
Ojo por ojo.
But can I, can I, oh, eye for eye.
Eye for eye.
Can I shoot at it?
Yeah, of course.
Okay.
So that is a, oh man, a 14.
Got lucky.
I'm going to use a lucky just in case.
Did that miss?
Am I, am I allowed to know the outcome? Yeah. Are you? Yeah. Yeah, it misses. It misses. Okay, I'm going to use a lucky just in case Did that miss? Am I allowed to know the outcome?
Yeah, are you?
Yeah, it misses
It misses, okay, I'm going to use a lucky
Right?
God!
An 11
You got another lucky?
I don't, because I used those unnecessary things
That's okay, you did a lot
You did a lot
Inspo die?
I don't
You got advantage?
Don't
That's okay
I'm looking at your character sheet
This one seems like you have advantage. I'm looking at your character sheet. This one seems like he has advantage.
He's not looking at the character sheet.
He's just...
But I'm guessing it still expels a star.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The star flies towards the skull.
Seven, seven, five.
Seems like it hits it, but then kind of glances off of it.
Okay.
And then I'm going to move away from the icky floor.
The icky.
Yeah.
All right.
So I think that is my turn.
All right.
Gum, gum. So little Jimmy's on my turn. All right. Gum gum!
So little Jimmy's on the,
he got attacked by dinosaurs.
Yes.
Are they all around him?
Yes.
Is he on the ground prone?
No.
No, he's not on the ground prone,
but he is surrounded by dinosaurs.
All right.
I was going to try and get that skull.
How are you going to do that?
Well, he's only got one hand.
Three.
Yeah, he has two hands.
Not my Borg.
So I don't know.
I could try and grab it from him, like knock it out of his hand.
And just as a reminder, you did put your friendship bracelet on the hand that is holding the skull.
So, I could also like yank it towards me and grab it.
Whatever you want.
It's a D&D.
It's the mind's art.
Okay, all right.
Oh, ho, ho.
Oh, ho, ho.
I don't know what it is.
Yeah.
Okay. Ho, ho, ho. Ho, ho, ho. I don't know what it is. Yeah. Okay, so could I, with the hand, like, grab that part and, like, grab it and roll away,
like, yank away and use my weight to help pull it away?
Does that make sense?
You ever seen when, like, Animal Control is trying to catch a gator?
That's exactly what I was going to say.
That's exactly what I was going to say.
It's like an alligator doing that death roll.
Come, come, do the death roll.
Yeah, sure. Why not not we'll give you a
shot to do that so describe to me again a little sorry a little more concisely how are you gonna
accomplish this sorry so he's got it in his hand this is left hand left hand and i'm you're attached
to it so i'm gonna like try and grab it with my one hand or and if i don't get it at least grab
his arm and grab it and roll and pull away so that he's yanked yeah and then you're gonna try to roll with it yeah we'll make like um like a string like a strength check yeah that's
what i think we would do here so yeah we'll do a pro strength check here okay you strong now
now i am frightened like chris or gum gum uh so i have disadvantage on ability checks and attack
rolls well the source of its fear was in line of sight. Wait, is he still in line of sight of me?
Yes. I'm frightened,
but I'm also at advantage on
strength, so I think it evens out.
Okay, so no advantage, no disadvantage,
just strength. Just strength.
Roll that beautiful strength roll. Big
numbers. 24. That's
pretty good. Oh, yeah.
Just shy of a nat 20. Little Jimmy only has a
plus three on this. And he has a disadvantage on that thing because of Barb's thing.
What Barb's thing?
Oh, there's that negative six.
Negative brain thing.
Negative brain.
A D6.
The only way he can succeed against this is if he rolls a nat 20.
Okay.
Because a nat 20 is a success.
Which is impossible.
Statistically.
Six.
Yeah.
No.
He fails.
Does he have a lucky?
Huh? No. Does he have a lucky? Huh?
No.
Does he have a lucky?
No, he does not have a lucky.
Plain.
Yeah, so you're able to pull and begin doing a roll with him,
and you're able to grab at the skull.
Classic gum-gum pull and roll.
Okay.
Ah, gum-gum.
He's been working on that move for 80 years.
And what's the plan now?
Now, is there anything else I could put my handcuffs onto?
What?
To handcuff him to something so that I can run away from him.
Oh, like a pipe?
Krista, in the way of like...
I hope you're not out of this.
So that you find a helicopter up to the sky bay.
Yeah.
Yeah, we'll say that there's some mounting points on the stage for banners and whatnot, various party things.
And I want to put my friendship bracelet, handcuff it to that, and run away.
Because I would run away from evil or mean Gum-Gum, Grum-Grim.
Grum-Grim.
Little Jimmy, you don't want this evil thing.
It's making you mad.
Okay.
So is Gum-Gum in possession of the skull now?
Yes, Gum-Gum has the skull,
so we're trying to figure out what he's doing with it.
I'm running away, so he doesn't try to take it.
The perfect person to have the MacGuffin.
Is it a MacGuffin?
I don't know.
What did he say he did?
Nobody said anything.
He's just been holding it creepily.
I thought he said he gave powers or something.
You know, who knows?
I don't know.
He said that he found it, and it offers lasting life for those who seek vengeance.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, seek vengeance on him.
Oh, I thought he was referring to the island.
Well, I don't want to kill him.
I don't want to kill him.
It gives him...
Is it...
So, lasting life.
Jimmy, I don't want to kill you.
I don't think this is good.
So, can I kind of just smash it?
Sure.
How are you going to smash it?
With a hammer.
Crunk.
I mean, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've got a... Don't you have an axe? I have an axe. So, going to smash it? With a hammer. I mean, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I've got a...
Don't you have an axe?
I have an axe.
So I can smash it with my axe?
Sure.
Make an attack roll on it.
Roll for smash.
Does he smash?
Or pass.
I was going to say the same.
25.
Oh, that's...
Yeah, that hits.
Do you want me to roll damage for it?
Yeah, roll damage.
Okay.
All the damage.
All the damage.
That's 15 plus my rage.
Plus three.
So 18.
18 points the damage. All the damage. That's 15 plus my rage. Plus three. So 18. 18 points of damage.
Yeah, you bring down your axe on the skull of Ojo Porojo,
and it explodes in magic energy,
crumbling to little chunks in front of you.
Just like little Jimmy.
What?
Little chunks.
Little chunks.
That's the next character name that we'll go with.
Oh, that's a good name.
Little Jimmy cries out as he watches the skull explode.
And as that happens, the externs that remain on the stage begin rapidly aging and withering away.
No.
I don't like watching this.
It's like that scene at the end of Last Crusade.
Yeah.
They chose poorly.
Can I run up and try and...
Who's the closest?
The closest to you...
I can't run to the scary one.
I mean, I think that probably is a scary one.
Other than that, I guess it would be...
Muck?
Yeah.
He's flying now.
Muck's flying.
Yeah, it is Grim Grim.
It's either Grim Grim or Little Jimmy,
but Little Jimmy's not an extra,
so it would be Grim Grim.
It's all right.
Maybe Brat's okay.
We'll just leave the pillars up and not check.
It's...
It's...
Oh, no.
It's Schrodinger's Brat.
Schrodinger's Brat.
Schrodinger's Brat. Schrodinger's Brat. Schrodinger's Brat.
I'm sure he's fine.
Dude.
Little Jimmy looks at you, you know,
with hate in his eyes,
and says, not again.
What happened last time?
Very specific situation.
There occurred twice.
You humiliated me just like last time do it end it
We're not gonna kill ya. Does he shrivel up or Jimmy. Bro, we're just here to celebrate this guy's birthday.
At this point, you hear a commotion
come from just beyond the stage
as Esquire Erica and Castle Staff
barge into the room.
Roll for initiative!
Next time on
Stinky Track!
The tsunami finally hits!
It's been long enough.
What's going on? you guys okay looking at you all the interns
Not emotionally, oh dear this is terrible Lord. Jaime locked us in the kitchen. He didn't seem his normal self. Oh
That is a evil school
Like you see if they're this is just bad acting?
Like, they're just coming for him?
I mean, it is bad acting.
It's me, but, I mean, it's Gus.
I think maybe he's under the influence of some spell, maybe?
Yeah, or his staff is very good, and they're covering for him.
Oh, our boss.
This was a curse.
Make an insight check.
Okay, here we go.
Could I also make an insight check?
Sure.
I have advantage on insight.
Do it.
27.
I believe.
27 for Bart?
Seven.
Well, 29 with my advantage.
So 29 for Bart and a seven for Kyborg.
Yeah.
What do you think, Kyborg?
Are they telling the truth?
They're lying.
Let's kill them all.
Bart, you think they are totally sincere.
It seems like they are very shocked and had no idea what was happening.
Kyborg, they are definitely lying.
We are.
We got to kill them all.
By any chance, does anybody recall when he took possession of that black skull thing that Gum-Gum just destroyed?
He's had it for as long as we can remember.
Where'd it come from, Little Jimmy? Now be honest.
It came from this place, the Isla de Venganza.
Where though? Like, whose skull is that?
Oh, I go up to the pieces and I say, this house is clean.
What is that from?
Erica says, I'm really sorry for all of this.
And little Jimmy cuts them off and says, in a cave not far from here.
In a cave?
Uh-huh.
Go on.
Erica says, anyway, we'd be really happy to compensate you for all this trouble with riches from the royal treasury.
Do you think we could give these riches to friends of ours in a different campaign?
Do you think we could give these riches to friends of ours In a different campaign
Can I Venmo my old friend
Can I Venmo this girl Olga
Erica has a quizzical look on her face
I'm not quite sure I understand
I'm her sponsor
I think you should put that
Towards counseling for little Jimmy
You can take the bits of the skull with you if you want.
Oh, and the funhouse mirror if you'd like.
Okay.
I'll do it.
I love their series demo disc.
Jimmy.
Why, why such a-
Jaime.
Jaime.
I pardon.
Jaime.
Why such the grudge against us?
What's the beef?
You treated me like nothing and mocked me like you do everyone who disagrees with you in the world.
You're due your comeuppance and you'll get it.
You gotta take your lumps, little Jimmy.
When we've met you, you were-
I've taken my lumps.
Yeah, I know, you're a greenhorn.
Don't talk to me about lumps.
No, I will talk to you about this.
Erica, could you just take Jaime away?
I don't think this is going to resolve today.
No, no, no, let the man defend himself.
We will deal with him.
Erica motions to the guards
who grab him and begin
taking him away. Mud holds back Kyborg. I'm still a better
archer. I'll come back
in 83 more years. Just you
wait. One of the Deinonychuses comes up
and gives you one of the arms from Kyforge.
Taking this too with the funhouse mirror and the bits
of the skull. Would the arm have aged?
It's robotic.
It's metallic.
Yeah, so, I mean, if y'all want it, y'all can split 40 platinum pieces.
Wow.
For 10 each?
Yeah.
It doesn't matter.
Whatever.
Now we have to do more infinite stuff so we can pay.
2,400 gold pieces and 1,250 silver each.
Oh, this is 40 each and then...
No, 10 each.
I changed the way I was thinking.
Oh, you're now doing the math.
Yeah.
And then 175 copper each.
Don't spend it all in one place.
Wow.
The wife's going to be so happy when I bring this home.
I'll put that skull pieces into a bag or something.
Okay.
And thus concludes the tall tale of Little Jimmy and the Externs.
The Infinite Infirms once again return to their respective lives
all across the far reaches of Phasa,
and we never heard of the Infinites ever again.
Well, Guzzler, there was that one time
when they came back to say-
Duncan, I don't think they're quite ready
for that tale just yet.
For now, all I can say is thank Dia for the infinites.
I'd like to say canonically, I went and got my cupcake.
Okay.
Canonically, you all also do level up to level 17.
Whoa!
Maybe that will matter in the future.
Maybe it won't. I'm guessing it will. Khyborg lays down in his bed.
He's surrounded by his friends. He says,
I'm dying. These years,
they've done a number on me. I didn't hear a single word.
And then I realize I'm an
elf, and I'm still probably kind of technically
in my 20s, and then I go and I work out.
Okay.
And that's the end of Kyborg's Tale.
Thanks for listening everybody.
Hey there! It's Chip Haney!
Or am I Blaine Gibson? Or am I Kyborg the Mighty? Or am I...
Sawyer the Lawyer!
Anyways, I just wanted to give you a quick heads up that Stinky Dragon Adventures is coming out November 9th.
What's Stinky Dragon Adventures? Why, it's a puppet show!
That's right! A puppet show! It's based off of the Infinite Campaign.
It's got all your favorites, plus a bunch more and it's it's a fun little puppet adventure
And there's eight episodes of it and you can watch it on sneaky dragon pod comm when it drops
And and while you're at it
You just check out the campaign is based off of the infinite campaign and then while you're at that
Why don't you check out our other new campaigns and one shots and miniseries and much much more
So I actually I challenge you audience to see if you can listen to all of stinky
dragon before it comes out in early November.
And if I crunch the numbers correctly,
you just need to listen on it.
A double speed night and day for three weeks and you'll be good to go.
All right.
I'll see you there.
RT extra life is back for another year of shenanigans to raise money for a
good cause.
Tune in to roofeth.com slash life on
Saturday, November 11th for the
return of the 24-hour stream
including a segment from the
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This episode of Tales from the Zinky Dragon
was produced by Ben Ernst,
written, edited, and composed
by Micah Reisinger, with
additional editing work by David Songye.
And here's a quick shout-out to folks that interacted with us on social media recently.
Here are some NPCs named after them in this episode.
Lil' Jimmy, a.k.a. Ime Espejo, who is at JimmyKing411 on Twitter.
And Esquire Arika, who is user ArikaMakesThings on Reddit. And donquire Eureka, who is user Eureka
Makes Things on Reddit.
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Interact with the community over on our
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then Discord right underneath.
See you there. We also want to give a special
thanks to some friends who provided VO for
characters in this episode, like
Lil Jimmy, who was played by Gus.
I don't know if he needs a special thanks,
but he got one. There's also
Esquire Rika, who's played by Kristen Bates.
Add Kristen Bates.
Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Tiki Dragon. Hey, you, listener.
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And on top of that, you get something.
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slash first get more information and hey sign up today Do it Wait no I think I
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Yeah.
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