Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Infinight Interns - Ep. 3 - The Search for Dr. Ahem Pt. 2
Episode Date: May 18, 2021The Infinight Interns attempt to solve the door puzzles- included but not limited to a sleepy dragon, a monster with a cleaning problem, and an adorable bloodstained teddy bear. Will they find Mayor P...rattle and Dr. Ahem or will they become mince meat first? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Let's see. Last time our adventurers met up with Mayor Prattle in the Infinite HQ.
They learned the Infinites were taken and there was a key witness in the wind.
Someone named Dr.
Oh, pardon me.
Anyway, the mayor suddenly vanished, but our interns are in hot pursuit in a cold hall filled with puzzling rooms.
Time is of the essence. Will they reach the mayor and find this doctor in time?
Settle in. Let's continue to the coffee door, coffee cup door.
You're going to the coffee mug, which is the final room on the right side.
This is the third room on the right side.
Mutt's very excited about this room.
The brew.
This is your room, bud.
This is my room.
An orange glow from a waterfall of lava
casts shadows across a black, craggy cavern.
Mutt doesn't like this room.
A large obsidian table stands in the center
equipped with several containers filled with powders and liquids.
A tiny red dragon wearing a leather apron
lies on the table near a bowl of brown powder.
You hear the faintest...
What the heck is that?
It's sleeping.
Oh.
Guy's got sleep apnea. He's adorable.
Look at him. He's a little dragon with an apron.
Who's
got some stealthy skills
they want to approach the sleeping dragon?
I'm pretty stealthy. I can do it.
I have a good self.
Apparently everybody. I got plus foury. I can do it. I have a good stealth. Apparently everybody.
I got plus four. Gum Gum just yelled it though.
Oh, okay. The tiny little dragon
stirs. He rubs his eyes
and looks at you all. And in common
he asks, Who are you guys?
We are the Infinite
Interns and we're here
to rescue some folks.
Who might you be, tiny
maverick dragon?
I'm Duncan.
He's adorable.
Is your last name Donuts by any chance?
Duncan Dragon.
I'm just so sleepy.
I'm trying to concoct a potion to help me stay awake.
Perhaps a delicious
coffee? Maybe a pour-over
could help? Ah, dang it.
Man, I wasn't paying attention to that guy doing
the pour-over. I don't remember how he did it.
Do you know how to craft such elixirs?
Uh...
I think I could give it a go, guys,
if you guys trust me. Do you trust me?
Is there any chance that Kaiborg was
a barista in his earlier
position?
Duncan looks
at you and says, why don't you teach me how to make this
potion? Well, you got
it. Let me see.
Bart really liked the way that
Mud said barista.
And so he just keeps repeating
barista, barista, barista, barista.
So
I don't
remember the exact order.
I do know how to make a pour over.
So you boil the water.
Okay.
Yeah.
And then you have these grounds, these coffee grounds,
in a little cone filter over the receptacle, right?
He's watching your hands very intently.
Okay.
And then you take the boiled water
and then you pour it over the grounds.
Okay, and then this magical elixir
comes out into the receptacle cup.
Bada bing, bada boom.
There you go.
There's your coffee, sir.
Please tip your waitresses and waiters.
There you go, Duncan.
Mud rushes forward and puts some dirt in it. Actually, hold on, hold on,
hold on. I say, I say, one, uh, one
latte for Duncan? One latte for Duncan?
He starts, uh, reaching, uh,
in your direction. Right here.
Mud throws dirt in it.
There you go, Duncan.
Duncan scowls at you and growls.
He, uh, grabs it with both of his little hands,
takes a deep whiff of it,
then takes a sip, and everything in the room vanishes, leaving the room empty and made of stone.
Yay, it worked.
Great job, guys.
By the way, you nailed it.
I didn't even make you roll because you remembered the instructions.
Guys, I listen real good.
Barista, barista, barista.
Barista, barista.
Okay, so you guys just left Duncan.
You got three torches lit outside of the door at the end of this great hall you're in.
You got some spikes lowering menacingly on you guys.
Time seems to be of the essence.
Danger is increasing.
What are you going to do?
Call the Ghostbusters.
They're busy dealing with a lawsuit from Huey Lewis in the news.
I'm so sorry.
Should we try another door?
Besides the great door,
or besides the door at the end of the great hall,
there are six other doors branching out of the great hall.
Y'all have gone into the doors that have the music note,
the sock and the coffee mug,
which coincidentally are all of the doors that were on the right side when you
came down.
So all you have left are the three doors on the left side,
which going from closest to the stairs
over to closest to the door at the end of the Great Hall
are Teddy Bear, Potted Plant, and Broom.
Does anybody have any strong feelings
about any of these doors?
I just want to know what's the score.
Who's winning?
Who's got the most puzzles solved?
At this point, the score is 347 for the dungeon masters and two for the players.
Copy that.
Why don't we just go in order?
Let's go to broom first.
Go to broom.
All right.
Let's go get that Nimbus 2000.
Is this a sweeping generalization?
And our entire party wiped.
And our entire party wiped.
The broom door is actually the door closest to the end of the hall by the doors at the end of the hall.
I'm fine with the broom one, though, because it looks like we only got one more torch to light up over that one door. It is closest to where you came out of from the coffee room.
Let's do it.
This door has an unlit torch and a carving of like a broom etched into the door.
Can Mud put hisched into the door. Can, can,
uh,
mud put his,
uh,
his ear to the door.
He's kind of curious what,
uh,
what might be inside that,
that room.
Yeah.
Roll me,
I guess,
what would that be?
Roll me a perception check.
Why not?
He's a curious little boy.
Curious.
That's a 18.
Wow.
Look at that.
That's a,
that's a good role.
Do you have,
do you have ranks in perception or is that just an excellent role?
Yeah.
He's actually a very perceptive little boy of a big boy.
Plus four on perception.
Big,
big boys got big ears,
you know,
helps.
True.
True.
I'm picturing him like Dumbo now.
I don't think fur balls have like Dumbo ears,
but I'm okay with,
with him canonically having
some larger lobes.
You feel like
you do hear something, like maybe the
sound of metal banging up against
stone.
Metal banging stone. So someone's playing
drums in there on rocks, I think.
Ah, fellow
musician, let me in. Can I try
to open the door? Yeah. the door does not quite open all the
way it's like it's jammed or barred from the inside barred huh oh god into that guys could
it be barred from the inside perhaps uh inspiration time no you got to make a good pun for that. How'd you inside, if also outside?
So we try to open the door.
It doesn't open.
It's barred from the inside.
How many other doors do we have available to us?
I think he said it opened a little bit.
Yeah, it opens a little bit, but not quite all the way.
It's like jammed or barred.
Is it enough for one of us to stick our heads through?
Not quite.
It's only a tiny sliver that it's open.
Are there any targets?
Because I am a master marksman.
And I can shoot anything.
Is that your last name?
It's actually the mighty.
He knows everything about everybody named Mark.
My father's
name is Mark.
I think our marksman should just blindly stick his arm
all the way into the crack to see what happens.
You got it, dude!
I stick my arm into the thing
and I start fishing around to see what's in there.
I've seen the mummy.
I know how this ends.
You can't quite get your entire arm in.
You can get some of your fingers and part of your hand,
like the top half of your hand in there,
but it kind of sticks when it gets to your thumb.
Like it's really, really a narrow opening.
Oh, okay.
Do we want to solve the puzzle of the unopening door
or do we want to try another door?
Let's try another door because this broom closet,
it's the janitor's space.
We don't need to get into his stuff.
I'm surprised you didn't just want to run at the door.
Blaine, I seem to remember you having a character in the past.
I had an obsession with breaking down doors.
I want to break down this freaking door, guys.
Why you got to use such no-no words?
My eyes just rolled to the back of my head.
I had a moment where I thought, I need to talk like this.
That's not how he talks like this. That's fine.
I want to break down this gosh
GD door.
Go ahead and roll an athletics check.
Athletics, you got it.
Oh, plus six.
19.
Oh, what a roll.
Kyborg, you know,
kind of loosens up,
flexes his muscles a bit,
and really puts his shoulder into it,
presses up against the door,
and gives away he's able to slide it open
with seemingly very little effort on his part.
He's a pretty beefy boy.
The door opens up,
and inside is a stone room lit by torches along the walls.
From floor to ceiling are stacks of furniture
and various household items
being organized into six piles around the walls. From floor to ceiling are stacks of furniture and various household items being organized
into six piles around the room.
There's two bronze eyeballs with slender arms,
legs, and wings walking around the room
sweeping up dust.
I hate Ikea.
Yeah, I was going to say, I found an Ikea.
Am I?
I'm still holding two
chairs, aren't I? No, I threw one of them, so I'm only
holding one chair.
What if
mud sits in the chair
and then gum gum
pushes it in and then
the chair sorts
mud so then
the rest of the puzzle
could happen?
Mud is the largest.
How are you going to push this large, large furball? Wait, you're the largest like what how are you going to push this large large furball
wait you're the largest i'm if i'm like i'm like let me see i'm like nine feet tall
he's pretty big he's beefy i'm little okay just stand next to bard you'll feel
you're you're up bud i think we put Bart in the chair, and then we see what happens.
Wait, in the chair that Mud is, I mean, that Dum Dum is holding?
Dum Dum.
That's not his name.
Gum Gum.
If you slander my friend Gum Gum one more time.
I wasn't saying it in my voice, so it's not in character, okay?
Okay, I'll let it pass.
Radical.
All right.
Uh,
there's,
there's,
you said there's a,
there's a pair of eyes that with like arms and legs and wings.
Yeah.
They're like,
uh,
uh,
metallic.
Almost.
They look almost maybe like automatons of some kind.
Oh,
Hey,
Kyborg.
Little,
little robot friend over there.
Do you want to arm wrestle?
I have an automaton arm.
They're holding broomsticks and sweeping up.
Seems like they're trying to put the room into order,
some kind of order.
I'm going to try to fit in.
I'm going to pick up a broom.
Is there any loose brooms around?
I'll tell you what, roll me a D6.
D6, you got it.
Roll, boom.
Two.
D6.
D6.
You got it.
Roll.
Boom.
Two.
You look around trying to find a broom somewhere near your feet,
but all you can really find is a few scraps of fine fabric.
It's really too small to do anything with.
What's the, what are the piles of furniture?
You said there's like six piles of furniture.
What are they of?
It just seems like it's unused furniture.
There's chairs. There's some like chest of drawers, armoires.
I mean, but then more than that, like tables, tablecloths.
I mean, just really just like anything you can imagine being in a house.
It's like a storage unit almost for excess housewares.
All right.
Mud walks up to the automaton and taps him on the shoulder.
It spins around, seemingly not expecting to see you there.
Hello.
Ah!
Arr!
It roars at you.
Arr!
I'm a bloodthirsty monster!
Is he up to eat?
We've been waiting for some fresh...
Um, what do monsters eat again?
Oh, flesh!
Yeah, flesh!
Yummy!
Mmm!
Leave now, or I'll be forced to feast on your flesh!
Arr!
I'm not really picking up what you're putting down, mate.
What's she doing in here?
Waiting to eat flesh.
Yes, flesh.
You're very fleshy.
With brooms?
It looks at the broom in its hand.
Ah, my weapon.
He brandishes it as if it's a weapon, like a sword.
Hmm.
Well, listen, mate, I have a feeling this guy is full of poop, so.
Straight to the point.
Yeah, I think you have a passive insight of like 15,
so you can definitely tell something is up with how it's acting.
With my 25 years of acting experience,
I could see right through this performance.
Oh, all right.
Hey, Mike, do you want to take that again?
Do you want to do another take of that?
And action.
Monsters!
Vicious with my fangs!
I'm still not convinced.
He's really phoning this performance in.
Use your projection voice.
You want to get the people in the back of the theater to hear you.
From the diaphragm.
Do you have a diaphragm?
It's down there.
You're going to use that.
Monster!
It seems you might be sorting furniture and stuff in here.
What's going on?
This is our hoard of treasure from the creatures we have eaten.
Leave now or we'll be forced to feast on your flesh. Gum Gum offers the chair. Our hoard of treasure from the creatures we have eaten.
Leave now or we'll be forced to feast on your flesh.
Gum Gum offers the chair that he's holding.
Here.
The other automaton who's not speaking to you walks around from behind this one,
grabs the chair, and then goes and puts it in a pile.
I didn't know there was two in this room.
You're welcome.
Listen, buddies.
Looks like you guys are trying to tidy up the
place. Well, lucky for you, we are a bunch
of strapping young gentlemen who are very
capable of cleaning. So is there anything
we could do to be of assistance?
The one who took the chair comes around and
says, organization, and then
goes back to work. Okay.
Hmm.
I want to look around. Are there any
chairs or furniture that seems out of place or that
have not yet been organized
make a what is that let's make a perception
check you
got it
that was 11 nothing stands
out to you it all seems there seems to be
no order to the madness
gum gum wants to see if he
can see anything better so he goes and stands on one
of the chairs like you get on one of the chairs.
Like you get on top of the pile
and stand on a chair
and try to look around?
All right, I guess make me
your elevated perception check.
Be safe, Gum Gum.
And after you make that,
make me an athletics check as well.
Or a dexterity check.
See if I fall off the chair.
I want to stand to brace Gum Gum
like a father helping his son ride his bicycle for the first time.
You got it, little guy.
I got a four.
I'll tell you what.
We'll say you have advantage for your height there.
So go ahead and roll me one more.
Fifteen.
Fifteen.
This just seems like madness to you.
There are piles.
It's almost like looking at a hoarder's house but it doesn't
make sense to your mind make me a
dexterity check is this for him getting down
from the chair
keep his balance up there
21
21 for gum gum
yeah you have no problems keeping your
balance down one of the chairs
sure
you're gonna have to make another dexterity check oh well keeping your balance. Can I surf down one of the chairs? Sure.
You're going to have to make another dexterity check.
That was just to keep your balance at the top.
Oh.
Too late.
You called it.
You have to roll it.
Roll it.
An at one.
No.
It's still an eight.
Gum Gum seems to be at home standing on the chair
on top of the pile of trash.
Then, for some reason, he leans forward
and falls face first
into the open arms of
Kyborg, who's standing below him
spotting him.
I got you. I got you. It's okay.
No fear. No fear.
Mine approaches the fake monster
one. Okay, so you're a monster.
Should we fight?
Since we're both big scary guys. Does, so you're a monster. Should we fight since we're both big
scary guys?
Does that make you happy?
You have no chance of winning. You should leave
now with your flesh.
Bart is standing on the other side of this monster
waving his hand in the
cut it out on his neck.
Alright, I got
an idea. Okay.
Bart goes to grab one of the chairs in the pile
and stacks it on another chair that's in a pile.
Huh?
Does anything happen?
Like a chair-on-chair action?
Yeah.
No, no, nothing seems to happen.
Okay, are there any markings in the ground?
Gum-Gum starts doing the same, though, with other chairs.
Just keeps doing it, following
Bar's lead. At this point, Bart and Gum Gum
are just stacking chairs and furniture
into piles? Yes.
Okay. So, Kyborg, you're looking for the
ground, is that what you said? I'm looking
just basically for anything that
we may have missed. I'm
turning over all the stones.
Make a perception check.
Oh, God, please give me something good.
14.
Roll me a D6.
What is this D6 he keeps having us roll?
All right, I got a 2.
Again, number 2.
Hey, you found the same scraps of fabric again.
They made a leather?
Are they made of leather?
No, no, fabric, not leather.
Okay.
Really fine quality, but yeah, really small.
I grab the fabric
and I go to the automaton
and say, hey,
do you want
these?
Which one do you go to?
The monster one or the cleaning one?
Monster one.
He says, my treasure!
He snatches it out of your hand.
I snatch his broom. I'm your hand. I snatch his broom.
I'm getting impatient.
I snatch his pants, pull him down to his ankles.
Wait, let me get his broom first.
He looks at his hands and then looks at you quizzically.
He says, my weapon.
Rawr.
All right.
I don't know what to do anymore, so I'm going to help them organize as well.
All right.
So we have Bart, Gum Gum, and Mud all organizing?
Yeah.
Okay.
Kyborg?
I'm just staring at the Atomic.
You know what?
I'm going to help too.
I'm going to organize.
Hey, let's all clean up.
And then a montage begins.
Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere.
Clean up.
We got it.
What are you singing,
you simple man? You all remember that there are spikes
lowering outside in the Great Hall.
Oh my god.
So time may be of the essence here.
Believe me, we are trying our best
to solve this puzzle. I am so sorry.
After
you guys begin all
cleaning up and organizing the room, everything
vanishes and poofs out of existence.
What?
Did we?
We're dead? Did we die?
Mud walks out to see if a torch lit.
No torch is lit. What?
Okay. Are the automatons still there?
No. The room is now empty.
I think we screwed up, guys.
I think we broke it.
I think we broke the room.
Let's go back out of the room, close the door.
I'll kick it down.
We'll come back in, act like nothing happened.
All right.
Is that going to work?
Yeah.
Let's make the outside of the room barred again.
Yeah.
So I go outside.
I go outside to stand in the hall and I wait for everybody.
I follow. I go outside. I go outside to stand in the hall and I wait for everybody. I follow.
I'm following.
The spikes are lowering ever so slowly, more treacherously.
We got plenty of time, guys.
We're doing great on time.
My design, the door with the teddy bear and really thinking we should just go to the teddy bear.
What should we do?
Should we try to go back in or should we do another room?
Open the door.
I'm curious if it resets.
I kick down the door. Boom. Athletics. in or should we do another room? Open the door. I'm curious if it resets. Kick down the door.
Boom. Athletics. Here we go. Boom.
You kick open the door.
There's no resistance this time, though. It just
swings open and reveals an empty room.
Guys, shocker. I'm super
powerful. All right, let's go to the teddy bear room.
We screwed up the room. What did we do?
I don't know. You took away the guy's
broom. That was his life force, man.
I guess. No, we just helped clean. I know. That took away the guy's broom. That was his life force, man. I guess. All right. No, we just helped clean.
I know.
That's what we get for helping.
Yeah.
No more helping, okay?
No more.
Okay.
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Bear? Teddy bear?
Yeah.
Mud walks over and opens the teddy bear door or tries.
Before we leave oh
uh uh bart takes some uh dirt that he had in his pocket that he he collects dirt every now and then
just to uh keep himself grounded uh yeah he sprinkles some of that dirt in the room that
they were just in with the brooms oh weird okay does anything happen anything happen? It's dirty. It's dirty again, guys.
Anybody?
Oh, okay.
Oh, no.
Uh-oh.
Nothing happened.
All right, let's go to the teddy bear room.
We're trying to be smart, and we're failing every instance of it.
Mud tries to open the door with the teddy bear.
The spikes are really starting to get really low, and right as he opened this door, they kind of slammed to the ground.
Let's see.
We're going to have... this door they kind of slam to the ground let's see we're gonna have right before they did i pull
a fedora out from underneath the spikes put it on my head and then i swipe the keyboard make me a
dexterity check then oh you got it um boom 15 yeah you uh you barely managed to to dive into the room
uh reach out grab your fedora uh pull it in at the last second for the spike slam all the way down to the ground, trapping you
in your current room. So we're
stuck in the teddy bear room. You are
now stuck in the teddy bear room. Alright, don't
screw up this puzzle, guys.
The sun is about to set on a quaint
meadow hill overlooking a babbling brook.
Autumn leaves flutter past
from a large oak tree atop the hill.
A wooden swing hangs from the tree,
slowly swinging in the wind,
and a pudgy yellow bear wearing a blood-stained shirt
at the base of the tree, frantically jumping up and down,
reaching toward a beehive hanging high above.
We're in heaven. We did it.
Wait, did you say the pudgy bear is wearing a blood-soaked shirt?
Blood-stained shirt. Very different.
Blood-stained.
This is the weirdest build-a-bear I've ever been in.
Can I just go up to the bear and lift him up?
Oh, God. He's
trying to get a beehive? Yeah, he's reaching
up a beehive that's high above.
Yeah, we need to help that bear get his honey.
So you walk up and you
pick up the bear and let him
reach the honey? Yeah. Okay.
The bear seems startled to see you.
Hello. Oh, hi.
But you pick him up and you start raising
him up to the beehive and he's able to
grab onto it and starts
feeding on the honey. He's like,
nom, nom, nom, chomping
down on it. This could only
end well. Problem solved. We did it,
guys. As he's eating
the honey, he's getting really heavy. Why don't you make
me a strength check, Gum Gum? Okay.
Oh, God. Is this bear gonna
go Akira on us? Nine.
Dang. He's
too heavy for you to continue to
hold. You have to put him down.
It seems to you all like he's getting
bigger.
Oh, bother.
Mud
Mud
comes over and tries to add his big boy strength to the endeavor.
He's tripled in size, and he seems to have another kind of hunger in his eyes.
I don't know.
There we go.
That explains the blood.
He turns and looks at you all, growls, and he rolls his initiative. I don't know. Here we go. That explains the blood.
He turns and looks at you all, growls, and he rolls his initiative.
Oh, God.
First fight.
What?
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Thanks for the teddy bear room there, Mud. Appreciate it.
I like bears, okay?
We could have just sat in that creepy, weird, empty room for a little bit.
Well, we would have been stuck in there.
The spikes would have come down, and then we would have been stuck in an empty room
and not been able to fix the puzzle.
You're about to live inside a bear's stomach, so I hope you like him.
Mud rolls a 10 for initiative.
Thank you.
I got an 8.
18.
Bart got a 12.
The bear's got a hunger in his eye, and he's looking at you.
Kyborg, you're up first.
What do you do?
Oh.
He's got blood on his shirt.
Yeah, I pull out my longbow, and I take a shot.
Go ahead and make that attack roll.
Achoo, 18.
You let your arrow fly, and it strikes two, striking the bear. Doing how
much damage? 11 damage.
What? Really?
That's what I pressed.
1d8 plus 4.
Wow, your longbow is strong.
Yeah, I'm a strong guy.
What can I say? I don't know. I guess I
have a great club that does d8 plus 3, so it's not
much different. That's pretty beefy.
That's amazing.
The bear did not like that one bit, Kyborg.
He looks at you and he charges at you.
The bear takes a swipe at you with his giant bear paw.
It's my favorite pastry in the morning.
He rolls a 19.
Whoa.
That's going to hit.
Armor class is 17.
Yeah, yeah, that hits.
He swipes at you, doing...
Please don't kill me.
Please don't kill me, Hokeup.
11 points of damage.
I'm on the brink of death, guys.
Then, after swatting at you with his paw,
he bares his teeth and tries to take a bite at you.
I am already on my last leg.
He gets a 21.
He chomps down on you, doing six points of damage.
Kyborg is dead.
Kyborg is dead.
Kyborg is not dead.
What are you at?
I'm at death save, bro.
Yeah, you're at death saves.
You're not dead.
Oh, you're fine.
You're fine.
Stop being dramatic.
Stop moving.
I just saw a bear maul me to death right in front of you.
And you're going, oh, this is fun.
We saw him maul you, not to death, to near death.
OK, there's a difference.
Mud.
There's a bear that swatted at and put cyborg in its mouth.
What do you want to do about that?
Laugh. put kyborg in its mouth uh what do you want to do about that laugh i want to think about the choices that led us to this point mud would like to cast entangle on this teddy ruxpin psychopath
grasping weeds and vines sprout from the ground in 20 foot squares starting from a point within
range for the duration these plants turn the ground the area into difficult terrain basically
they're restrained by the plants
and they have to make a strength check
against my spell saving DC to free themselves,
which is 14.
Mud points at the bear
and out from the ground beneath the bear,
weeds and vines start sprouting almost like a jungle.
Seems a little out of place for this quaint meadow hill.
But well, a giant bear eating a cyborg
is also out of place in this place.
Hey, bears live on Meadow Hills.
I hate to break it to you.
Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.
There it is.
The vines and everything,
and the weeds all start entangling
and wrapping around the bear.
Mudd also uses his movement action
to step back a bit from this bear.
Give yourself a little bit of space.
He just saw the bear destroy this new friend of his
or this new co-worker of his and is stepping back.
Co-worker.
Kyborg's on the ground, blood coming out of his mouth.
He's watching a pool of blood just start to pour out onto the ground.
He's like, he's doing a status effect attack.
When I shot him, you could be stabbing.
Everybody needs to be stabbing this
bear to death.
You guys are like, let's...
Do you guys hear anything? Do you guys hear anything?
All I hear is gurgling and
nothing else. I can't hear words.
There's just a babbling brook.
I'd like
to remind you, Kaiborg, that you are also
entangled as well.
I have secured
Kyborg. He's not going
anywhere. Gum Gum, what do you think about all this?
Gum Gum sprints in a rage that Kyborg
has fallen. And he
airs, bear bear bad bad!
And then swings his
great axe. It jumps
and swings it down on the bear.
Right in his gut.
The raging wizard, classic D&D archetype.
Alright, go ahead and make your attack roll
on the bear here. Gandalf got mad
sometimes, I gotta say.
Okay, I rolled a 21.
Nice. Oh, nice.
And then you're using your greataxe, you said?
So that's 1d12 plus 5?
Damn. I rolled it right before if you want to use that one
or if you want me to roll again.
That's a 14 if you want to do that one.
Sure.
So 14 plus 2 for your raging, so you do 16 points of damage.
Gum-Gum jumps into the air enraged
and brings his axe down into the shoulder of the bear
with his friend in his mouth
and buries it deeply doing 16 points of damage.
The bear seems grievously wounded
and is roaring in pain as it turns
and looks at Gum-Gum with rage in its eyes.
Gum-Gum roars back.
Roar!
Is it my turn?
Bart, yes, it is your turn.
Well, I'm going to cast Minor Illusion.
I'm going to create a fake honey jar to float just out of reach of the bear to distract him.
Oh, smart.
What kinds of things does this illusion make?
Is it just visual or can it create scents as well?
You create a sound or an image of an object within range that lasts for the duration.
The illusion also ends if you dismiss it as an action or cast the spell again.
So it's an image of a giant honeypot.
Do something that looks more delicious than kyborg, please.
Make an image of a honeypot with kyborg inside of it.
Yeah, for my bonus action,
I would like to cast Healing Word on kyborg.
Oh, and what does that do?
A creature of your choice that you can see within range
regains hit points equal to one D4
plus your spellcasting ability modifier.
The spell has no effect on undead or constructs.
Ooh, so you do, so roll that D4?
Lord, I love you.
Four.
Ooh, and your spell modifier is plus three.
So Bart utters a secret healing word.
What's the word?
Under their breath.
What's the word?
I want to know what love is.
I want you to show me.
Kyborg finishes it.
I want you to show me.
Kyborg's eyes slowly open as he regains seven hit points.
So it is now actually Kyborg's turn.
Oh, hey, whoa.
What a time we've been having.
Okay, long go.
No, first things first, Kyborg.
You need to make a strength check.
You are entangled in vines
and you fell asleep for some reason.
You don't remember exactly what happened,
but you've come to
and there's vines all around you.
Climate change is crazy.
21.
Oh, you break free of all the vines
and you're able to freely move around again.
There is a giant bear towering over you.
You think it may have just hit you a little while ago.
It seems distracted,
like it's looking off in the other direction at the moment.
And restrained by vines.
Yes.
First off, I dust myself off. Second, I move as far away from the bear as at the moment. And restrained by vines. Yes. First off, I dust myself off.
Second, I move as far away from the bear as humanly possible.
My longbow has a range of 150 feet.
I want to get minimum that far.
How big is this room?
Say about 60 by 60.
Okay.
Half of that, 30, assuming he's in the middle,
I get 30 feet away from this thing.
And then I turn around and I pull out my bow and arrow.
Probably going to roll a one and poop my pants.
Sorry, that's a nine.
You try to knock and fire your bow,
but for some reason,
maybe you're still a little foggy from that quick nap you took.
Your arrow goes wide, missing the bear.
For all future, and we know there's going to be future times
where Kyborg is going to be near death,
we're just going to call it a little nap.
Wake up.
Right as rain.
Wake up!
Grab a brush and put it around the top of your head!
Okay, so Kyborg's turn.
So does the bear go now?
He's going to try to see if he sees through your illusion here, Bart.
Yeah, he's still distracted by that.
Okay. We'll say he's still distracted by that. Okay.
We'll see.
He's going to go ahead and try to break out
from these restraints anyway.
To try to get the honey, obviously.
Yeah, to try to get to the honey.
Let's see if he can break out of the vines.
No, he is still entangled.
That was a good call there, Mud.
Mud high fives Bart.
Yeah, roll for high five.
Both of you make a dexterity check.
That's a 19 on the high five. Six.
I'm too
short. Not the most graceful high
five but you managed to connect. You get one of those where like
the tips of one person's fingers hit like the
palm of another person's. Not
quite a solid connection. Bart what you gotta do
is you gotta look at the other person's
elbow as you're going for a high five and that
will always make sure you get the perfect
high five. So that's just a little tip for the next time.
Okay. And I said the size of your elbow
is the size of my head. So this is going to be
very easy for me. Yeah, you got it.
Okay. At this point, unbeknownst to
you guys, you hadn't seen it, but
another animal appears. Oh God.
On the meadow.
A tiger leaps out from
behind the tree. Oh, it's a kitty.
It leaps out and attacks the bear. Oh my God's a kitty. It leaps out and attacks the bear.
That's the wonderful thing about tigers is they help you fight bears.
It tries to make a claw attack against the restrained bear.
Connects.
Doing.
Are we going to be fighting like an owl and a rabbit next?
What's going on here?
Yeah, the tiger jumps out,
takes a swipe at the restrained bear
at his stomach
and the bloodstained shirt
becomes even more bloodstained
as the bear's intestines
start to leak out
and falls over dead.
Ray, is that kitty?
Is a nice kitty?
The tiger looks at you,
growls and says,
thank you.
And then the entire room vanishes.
Okay.
The room is left empty and made of stone.
We did it.
Gum Gum sighs.
I miss the bear.
Good job.
Good job, everybody.
Love it.
Did we just fill another room?
I don't know.
Is it anything happening?
Don't.
You got gotta check the
torches. Oh, the spikes.
What's the spike situation of the door?
It looks like the spikes have
retracted now that the bear has
been defeated. Oh. Alright,
guys. Why don't we try one of those
another high fives? Yeah.
A four-way one?
Yeah. Four-way
high five. Everyone roll a dex check.
Dexterity.
I rolled a seven.
Nine.
Twelve.
Fifteen.
Fourteen.
Oh, everyone has a really solid high five.
And Mud has kind of a mediocre one.
That's okay.
You taught everyone and they've surpassed you in their knowledge.
They're all better at it now.
I'm okay with that.
This time, Gadget.
So, the
spikes have retracted and
what's the torch situation like?
Do you all go out? I guess you all leave the room?
Yes. I'll go first
because I am the leader of the team.
I don't think we've voted on that.
Follow me, squad. The leader
almost died in our first fight. I talk
over. I talk over mud. Follow me, squad. The leader almost died in our first fight. I talk over I talk over mud. Follow
me squad.
Team force.
That's an inspiration
die for Bart. Yay.
Yay. Brand awareness.
You leave the room and yes
the torch is lit as well as the
fourth torch at the
door at the end of the hallway. I turn to the group.
It's lit fam. I turn to the group. It's lit, fam.
I'll take my inspiration die now.
I wish I could take away an inspiration die.
I don't have one. Shall we go?
Yeah, let's go.
Should we not check the plant room?
The four torches are lit on the
door. Bart's a bit of a completionist.
Oh, God. You want to just peek in and see what's in there? No, now I don't know if I should. Bart's a bit of a completionist.
You want to just peek in and see what's in there?
Now I don't know if I should.
Bart opens the plant door. The entire room
is reset. All the torches turn off.
The spikes continue to lower.
He's slammed down on Gum Gum.
He's dead permanently.
Everyone roll new characters.
Everyone roll new characters. It's up to you mate if you if you need to if it's going to bother you that we don't look
at the plant we can look in the plant room uh let's let's go there on our way out okay
okay so y'all head up to that uh final door uh it's a like i said it's a big door with four
torches which are now lit around it and i want to reach for the door with my robot arm.
Kyborg reaches for the door.
It's unlocked.
Do you open it?
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Twinkling candlelight from a cobwebbed chandelier casts long shadows across blackened stone walls.
Rickety shelves and dusty benches line the room,
stocked with copious tools, glass containers, and half-baked experiments.
Dead ahead in the distance is a long
conveyor belt running along the center of the
room leading into murky darkness.
Laying atop the belt are two small creatures
with bags over their heads, each bound in
chains.
Gum-Gum just sprints
towards them. Perception check,
bro! Nope, that ain't the
Gum-Gum way, dude. Gum gum
dashes forward into the room, but suddenly rusty
gears beneath the conveyor belt roar to life
and a faint monotone laugh echoes in
the air. Everyone roll
initiative.
Alright, thanks everyone for listening to this episode of Tales from
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