Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Menace of Maschatten - C02 Ep 07 - Nuts and Vultz
Episode Date: June 14, 2023After arriving at the city of Maschatten, the party talks to the locals to try and get a lead on who and where Eddie is. Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: http...s://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://joinhoney.com/dragon to get PayPal Honey for free. Go to http://hellofresh.com/16dragon and use code 16dragon for 16 free meals plus free shipping! Go to http://rtxaustin.com to buy your badge! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This is a Rooster Teeth Production. stinky dragon and quaff our latest coffee, Bane or Boone Bean Juice. It's a mixture of freshly
picked pecans and pecants, a blend of Cullum Blessing Coffee, Cursed Eureka Coffee, topped
with freshly slammed fruit extract, apples, or oranges. One nip of this noncommittal nosh
will turn your frown upside down or smile much more vile.
Previously, our adventurers boarded a train while in pursuit of their new suspect, Eddie.
They were unable to locate the skinless suspect,
but did manage to put a day's worth of training, rest, and travel under their belts.
Now they find themselves arriving at a new region of Groteth, Moskheten.
Draw yourself a drink and let's dive back into this dank drama. Now they find themselves arriving at a new region of Groteth, Moskheten.
Draw yourself a drink and let's dive back into this dank drama.
That's my bad Bela Lugosi there, according to John.
It was a great Bela Lugosi there, according to John. It was a great Bela Lugosi.
I like that because of the localized way you say the word, you ruined one of Micah's puns.
Because if you said pecans, pecans and pecans. As I was saying it, I was like, oh, interesting.
Messed that up.
That's the South Texas for you.
Hey, real fast before we get started.
I'm Gustavo Sorolla.
I'm your Dungeon Master.
I'm joined with our four cast of
characters as always starting with i am chris damaris and i'm playing barney farnie the human
cleric hi i am blaine gibson and i play don't look at your champagne level two now you're like
the kid doing like their sat test copying someone else else's name. It's an open book test.
My name is Barbara Dunkelman,
and I voice and play Elga Von Brath,
the female half-elf vampire barbarian.
I'm John Rice here, and I voice,
but don't play,
Matty Comfy-Seuss,
who is a Eric Cochran ghost monk.
Someone's off to the side feeding John his roles and his moves.
Yeah.
We two player it.
Before we get started, I want to hit you guys John his roles and his moves. Yeah. We two player it. Yeah.
Before we get started, I want to hit you guys with an arrow here real fast.
Got some warm-up questions to help you fill out your backstory.
Oh, there it goes.
Did you hit me in actual air?
You hit yourself hard.
John, roll me a D100.
Let's see what our question is this week.
We got questions that are submitted online via the Stinky Dragon subreddit and Discord,
as well as a few written by Micah, our writer.
Hello, Micah.
67.
Oh, this is another one from Jahardin. I think we've had a jahardin one before on discord this seems like a question for the players but i'm gonna say as far as your character so for your
character does your character believe in fate slash destiny or free will i want to know what
the what the cleric thinks of that the wise wise old cleric. No elaboration needed.
Yes to what? Do you believe in fate?
Okay, because he said, do you believe in this
or this? And he said, yes.
Chip does. Oh, yeah.
We met his wife, Carol,
down there at the
Tim Hortons.
What's the fantasy version?
Jim Hortons. I was expecting him Hortons. I love it. First sight. The fantasy version. Tim Hortons.
I was expecting him.
Tortons.
It's a tortoise run establishment.
Yeah.
God, I'm so I'm all up in my own head about the voice.
Now I sang songs on the radio with Chip's voice because I saw on the subreddit.
It's like he's gone back to Kyborg.
He's going back to Kyborg.
And I'm like, do you believe in it? Noga is all about free will you know as a barbarian she
likes to do whatever she wants doesn't like to be controlled by existing outcomes so no she's
all about free will matthew is is the same uh matthew uh does not like the idea of someone
else controlling uh my actions and uh my my and I am in control of my
fate. As far as you know. Yeah.
Hey, wait a minute. What?
Who said that? Who is this
dungeon master?
For all of our stinky listeners, just in case you
missed it, our previous episode was something we called
Between the Tails. It's typically a behind the
scenes look at our show with the cast
and crew answering questions, talking
about how the dragon sausage is made, you know
This campaign we're trying something a little different including moments of canonical roleplay that Center in on each players growth each characters growth
So if you missed that episode pause this one go back listen to between the tails first. Don't worry. We're gonna go and wait
All right, we'll hold
Yeah, we'll wait for
How is you guys weekend Don't worry, we're gonna go ahead and wait. Alright, we'll hold. Yeah, we'll wait for about an hour and a half.
I don't think it's that long.
How was you guys' weekend?
My stomach feels bad. Gus, go.
Okay, now let's resume our Tavernly tale.
I like how John gets impatient.
The five of you find yourselves
aboard the Groteth Express steam engine,
specifically sitting around a booth table
in the dining car.
Those of you who consume food
are finishing up a hearty complimentary breakfast
of polar boar sausages with glareberry gravy.
Elga, are you just like pushing the food around
on your plate?
I'm like, you know how like sometimes sausages
bleed a little bit?
I'm trying to wring them out into my mouth
just to get the blood from them.
Are sausages bleed a little bit?
What kind of sausages are you eating?
They have like the little drippy stuff, right?
Blood sausage.
If it's like really raw.
If there's ever a bloody sausage in a plate in front of me,
I think I'm going to throw up.
More for Elga, thank you.
I'm with Barbara.
I think that's like totally.
There's totally a bloody sausage.
Hey, eat up.
What are you doing playing with your food?
You got it.
You're a grown little girl.
You know, I'm embarrassed to eat in front of other people.
I had a whole meal in the bathroom.
That's horrifying.
Choo, choo.
The brownie blue vested or disc enters the car.
Next stop, Masked Hatton.
Next stop, Masked Hatton.
To those disembarking, please gather all your belongings
and watch your step as you exit onto the platform.
The only luggage I got is this guy.
And I point to Barney.
I'm your luggage.
You hear the screeching of iron rails
and the dining car jolts slightly as the train decelerates.
The alchemist straightens his gray coat and turns to you all.
Before we leave, I feel as if I owe you all a thank you
for your thorough,
albeit unorthodox
investigation, and moreover, for
the help back in the Ther Asylum. So,
thank you. You're welcome.
Also, I feel that I can trust you all enough
to share with you my real
name. I am Robert.
Robert Esteban.
Wait. Oh, the twist.
I'd appreciate it if you'd keep my identity intact, at least for the sake of my family's safety.
Speaking of closely held secrets, I'm grateful we were able to hold on to this.
And he holds up a leather-bound notebook.
I've had a number of high-profile patients visit me over the years at the Thera-Sylum.
And as you can imagine, each one of them came to me with their ailments because I exercise great discretion.
This notebook is where I keep
most of my notes on those patients.
Did no one else
realize that Robert was
the alchemist? No, I didn't. I just not made that connection.
No. Oh, I mean, I can't
attest if I did or didn't because my brain resets
every time we record. You know when the teacher is like,
alright, on to the next slide, and you're like,
barely finishing notes from the previous slide. That's what just happened
So he's that the chemist the Robert medicine house drug house medicine house their asylum and was he cheated or he was in the relationship?
With so-and-so it's Francesca his wife was in a rush Cheska. So we just cuz why Francesca
wife francesca francesca what did i say he's his wife comma francesca is it francesca or cheska francesca oh my god so we met his wife yeah she was in the audience i really apologize
for this uh recording so far we've had like a long weekend we've all been extra relaxed and
everything so if we're a little extra loopy that's what's going going on. Okay. Francesca is his wife.
You are the most of sound mind in the group.
Can you lay it out for me in a way that I will understand with my pea brain?
Yes.
So Robert and Francesca are married.
Okay.
And have a son who we met in the room.
In the school.
In the school.
Henry.
Henry.
Henry was looking for his dad.
Couldn't find him. We found a note in the Wolfman's chambers.
The Wolfman and Francesca
are like an item?
Maybe in love?
Two peas in a pod.
And then we went to Francesca's house
and something about she was very
sad, probably because the Wolfman died.
Yeah, and Robert was missing.
Robert's missing. Or gone. Gone.
Doesn't know where he is. We also found a passageway
to the medicine house.
Yeah, there was also actually
a line in that episode
that I said
that kind of flew over
everyone's head.
Maybe Chris is the only one
who picked up on it
where Francesca said,
oh yeah, you know,
Robert's gone.
You know how alchemists are.
Yeah, that's what I was like.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, and nobody reacted
and I was like,
oh, okay, I guess.
Yeah, I guess we're dumb.
We're dumb.
Ka-chunk.
The train jostles to a full stop and Disp opens the sliding door leading to the station platform.
Masked Hatton, Masked Hatton, watch your step as you exit the train.
Matida throws their scarf over their shoulder and exits the train.
Ooh, fashionable.
Everybody else follow suit, I assume?
Can I help Barney down?
I've got it myself.
Of course you have.
But yes.
Wait, wait, wait.
How does Barney get out of the train?
Oh, okay.
But he's fussy.
Can I get some apple sauce to go?
Y'all step off the train onto the platform.
The alchemist has a brief word or two with this.
Everyone go ahead and roll me a perception check.
I have 17 for Elga.
16 for Chip.
7 for Barney.
14.
That's a 14 for our English speaking listeners.
Barney, you exit onto a station platform and you're immediately distracted by fluttering flakes falling from the cloudy morning sky.
Oh, like snow?
Yeah, like snow.
Volcano?
The Matide before you is a breathtaking alpine village nestled in a mountain range blanketed in white.
There's a narrow road leading north up towards a stone stairway with an open gate.
Chip and Elga, you notice that it's a little unusual because the temperature's not very crisp or cold, but surprisingly warm.
You two sniff the air and instinctively recoil at the stench of sulfur.
But we're in an alpine village?
Yes.
Sulfur.
So the snow, this is ash.
No, but he says alpine.
Alpine specifically describes like a snowy mountain place.
Yeah, but why is the stink of sulfur?
Alpine is just mountains.
Is it?
Or volcanoes.
That's what I said.
I've never heard of alpine described for volcanoes, but I'm open to it.
Thank you, Barney.
So the base of alpine is resembling or referring to the
Alps or mountains. Yeah, I guess I just
think of the Alps as being snowy mountains, but that's fine.
No argument here.
No, just clarifying. But to
I believe Chip said it, to Chip's point, yeah.
You realize that it's not snow
that's falling. It is indeed ash. And there's
heavy white clouds of swirling smoke
filling the sky, coating everything with little
flecks. And there is definitely a very thick smell of sulfur permeating the air.
Matide notices that Barney's putting his tongue out to catch the flakes and stops him.
Puts their hand over his.
Reminds me of my childhood.
Does snow taste different now than it was when you were a child?
It does.
It does.
My tongue must have gotten older.
Tongue must have gotten older. Your tongue does. That's weird to think of. Your tongue must have gotten older. Tongue must have gotten older.
Your tongue does.
That's weird to think of.
Your tongue gets older.
There is a now road heading north up towards that stone stairway.
Mateed starts walking that direction.
Well, I must say goodbye.
To who?
To all of you.
It was a pleasure.
Barney, we're a team.
We are going together on this mission.
Barney, where are you going?
I've got a big quest of my own.
What's that?
Where?
Well, it's clearly you don't remember,
so now come on the quest with us.
Easy peasy.
I will have to go.
I will find my new-
My quest.
Okay, let's go.
You're coming with us?
Well, for now.
I foresee this being a very annoying piece of the puzzle that happens later in the story.
Matita's already headed towards that.
Matita's gone.
Nope.
Okay.
Well, come along, Barney.
Okay.
All right.
Everyone follows Matita up there?
Yeah.
I see that it's not acceptable to do snow angels slash ash angels.
I mean, you can do it if you want.
No, no, no.
Why is it not acceptable? Who said that? Because no one else is doing them. You could be ash angels. I mean, you can do it if you want. No, no, no. Why is it not acceptable?
Who said that?
Because no one else is doing them.
You could be a pioneer.
I'm a trendsetter.
I'm going to do a snow angel.
It's an ash angel, but yeah.
What does that do to his skin?
Well, I'm a tiefling, so I like fire things.
It's an ash.
Oh, I guess it makes me white.
You got purple skin, right?
Yeah, but now I'm covered in gray
ash. Wait, do you do it face down?
No, that's not how you do a snow angel.
He said he's covered.
He said he's covered. He's like a
It's camouflage.
Oh, you can't see me. Just imagine
Gus's parents watching their strange
child just go face first into snow.
It was him.
He was the one who asked. He asked if he's face down
because he thought he was covered. This is not Gus being weird.
This is me!
No, but like, no one thinks about doing
it that way. He was the one who said it!
It's you, Gus. It's you. Roll me an athletics
check. Let's see how this snow angel or this ash angel
turns out. You're the problem, Gus. You should make my teed roll
as well. Just to see if they keep their
balance. Oh, it's a 21. It's the
most perfect ash angel you've ever seen. It looks great, but when you stand up and turn around and look at it, it's a 21 it's the most perfect ash angel you ever see
looks great but when you stand up and turn around and look at it it's also got two horns on it
oh an ash devil oh no run run i think it's beautiful and we shall name him clayton
uh all right yeah you um you all head up after the creation of clayton the
the ash devil uh you all head north up the creation of Clayton, the Ash Devil.
You all head north up the path a little bit.
Everyone roll me another perception check.
11.
Ooh, bad one this time.
6.
5.
18. You know, as you all are approaching what appears to be a gate to the town,
Elga, you're the only one who notices that there are poles kind of running parallel to the southern portion of the town.
And they appear to be buzzing slightly.
Like a bunch of different poles?
They're spaced every few feet.
Telephone poles?
Like what?
How high?
Metallic poles.
Let's say they're probably 20 feet tall.
You grab Mateed by the back of their garments just before crossing because you sense a little bit of danger. Oh.
I don't want anyone to be alarmed,
but I think these poles
might be dangerous, so we should maybe
scout the area before we keep going.
Yeah, if you want to scout the area, you can roll me an investigation
check, Elga. Yep. Is the
gate manned by anybody? No.
It does not appear there's anyone at the gate. It's a two.
What's that?
What does that get, Gus?
It's just your intuition.
I don't feel so good.
Is something buzzing?
Anybody put their phone on silent, maybe?
Can I check to think of what I remember about Mesquits
and if I know anything about this city?
Yeah, make a wisdom check.
There's a clue in the word.
It's got to be.
13.
I know.
We don't get to see the spelling, so we don't see
the puns. Yeah. Mask-a-teen.
13. It's a big kitten.
Mask-a-teen.
Mask-a-teen.
I think you're right.
You remember Mask-a-teen is very
famous for the use of an invention
by Frankenstein called volts.
Oh. Okay.
And no one's at the gate, and we've stopped because it's,
it looks dangerous because we don't want to go through the, uh, the buzzy.
You said, so we're heading North.
Correct.
And there's a gate that's North,
but you said all the way South the poles are running just South of that gate.
Okay.
So we haven't passed any poles.
Correct.
Okay.
I'll tell you what, Matid,
why don't you roll me a investigation check as well,
since you're trying to rack your brain here.
That's a nat 20.
Tell us the history of Maskheten.
As you're pondering, you know, thinking about what you know of Maskheten,
you look down on the ground and you see the carcass of a tiny griffin with its feathers singed.
You okay there, little guy?
Somehow I think if we walk between these poles, there might be some type of electrocution situation between them.
Mateed calls out to see if anybody is present at this gate to assist with this.
What do you show?
Bonjour! We are travelers here to see Maskettin.
Is there anybody here who can help us into the city?
Just then, the alchemist catches up from behind to you guys and says,
Oh, I can help with that.
He walks up close to the poles and turns to you all and says,
Just do as I do.
And he turns facing back to the north and says,
It's alive!
And then walks between the poles and continues on his way.
Okay.
I'll follow suit.
It's alive!
And walks through.
Yeah, nothing seems to happen.
You walk through uneventfully.
I dance.
I pole dance through.
Ah!
He's fine through the poles?
Yeah.
Mati shrugs and goes, it is alive and walks through.
The poles, maybe if they were animate objects, you would think maybe they're confused a little bit,
but nothing seems to happen and you walk through just fine.
It's alive.
Barney, after you.
And then I go through.
Okay.
Yeah.
No problems at all for Barney.
What's she going to do, Elga?
Could Elga just kind of stick her hand?
She's very wary of this.
Elga!
Like you stick your hand... Kind of like between where the poles are, yeah.
Say the magic words.
Don't hurt yourself.
It's alive.
Oh, you say it's alive and stick your hand through?
Yes.
You say that and stick your hand and nothing seems to happen. Okay, she walks through. While going, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive and stick your hand through? Yes. You say that and stick your hand and nothing seems to happen.
Okay, she walks through while going,
it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive.
First, I thought you were going to stick your hand through without saying anything.
Yeah, I thought so too.
I thought you were going to test it.
You all climb the stone steps that lead up to an archway with an open gate.
Hanging above the archway is a purple pennant with a sigil stitched into the fabric.
It's a white M, but the middle part of the M
is a V made of two green lightning bolts. Beyond the archway are more stairways winding through
the sloped village. And overhead, you see cables strung up between buildings all throughout the
town. Straight ahead is a buzzing neon sign that reads, Jacqueline's Jug House and Eastern Gate
to the right, Anton's Tinker Spiel and Shamey's stitch mark to the left. What? Yeah, could that be... That's so many words.
I'm sorry.
We got Jacqueline's jug house.
And something Eastern gate?
Yeah.
I'm going to say this place looks like a Metallica album cover
that I got hidden down in the garage.
The alchemist says,
I think it's best if I go off alone to find Frankenstein.
I shall appraise him of this Eddie situation.
In the meantime, feel free to explore Mcaton and meet some of the locals.
The alchemist offers you a nod and takes his leave.
Wait, before you go, come back, alchemist.
He's gone.
Oh, okay.
I'm just really curious.
I wanted to ask what the relationship with, like, Frankenstein might be with, like, the common man.
Like, the Eddie guy seems like that could have been a, you know, person created by Dr. Frankenstein.
Well, maybe you can ask around town
at one of the locations. Which was your favorite
location of the ones that I read?
Archie's and Jughead's. I don't know.
Whatever that one was.
Let's go. Yeah, Barney, what was
your favorite? Jacqueline's Jug
House. Okay, what else?
Anton Speakerspill.
He wrote it down.
We're not just...
You're not the only note taker anymore.
I just... I write... I can't write as fast
as people tell me. No, I definitely...
I gave up on writing any of those down.
Especially when they're
not real words.
Michael,
don't give me that look.
Shall we go to Jacqueline's Jug House?
The Juggalo's House.
The Juggalo's House.
Oh, yeah.
No, just a Jug House with no Juggalos in this universe.
Where's the Faygo pop?
Pop.
All of the buildings here in Maskatin appear to be like half timbered with small windows
and red tiled roofs and chimneys.
And there's lots of overhead signs on buildings that have buzzing neon lettering.
So you're heading to Jacqueline's Jug House.
The sign indicates that that is to the right from where you walked in.
Is this like Germany, small German Swiss town meets like Vegas?
That's probably a fair assumption.
Like a mountain village with a lot of electricity.
Are there
any citizens walking around?
The streets seem sparsely
populated at the moment. There are people
walking around, but not too many.
I'm just curious.
Hadn't heard any reference to people.
We're going to Jacqueline's.
Poor Barbara.
Just making sure we're good.
You all take a right and follow the sign.
You know, you very quickly able to see the buzzing neon sign that says Jacqueline's Jug House.
You walk in.
Before we walk in, can I go, it's alive.
The entire time we're shuffling around this town, it's just Elga under her breath.
It's alive, it's alive, it's alive.
I hate the fact that there's electricity.
Have we discovered like a deep rooted fear just Elga under her breath. It's alive, it's alive, it's alive. Have we discovered
a deep-rooted fear of Elga?
Electricity? Yeah, did Elga get
shocked sometimes? She had a bad experience
when she was able to turn into a bat and
never went back. Just
ran into a bug zapper.
Oh god. You mutter
under your breath, what are your new
magic words of protection?
And you walk into Jacqueline's
Jug House. It's a well-lit
though hazy tavern that smells of
mesquite meat and berries
and sounds of occasional muffled
screams. It's filled with round pub
tables that are occupied by local
abhams drinking from jugs. The tavern isn't
lit by torches or candles but by bright
glass fixtures overhead with cables
running along the ceilings. Are these
screams of horror
or of pleasure? You
can't tell. Pleasure.
Okay. And who's drinking?
A bomb. A bomb. And what are those?
Describe a bomb for us. So, a bomb
would be like kind of slang for
like an abomination. They
appear to be kind of what
we would describe as like horrific looking creatures with multiple limbs
that appear to be sewn together.
Oh, cool.
They're all a little different.
Some have too many limbs.
Others seem like they're missing some,
but like the common factor amongst all of them
is scars and stitches.
Might you say they look Frankensteined together?
Everyone who lives here is just, has undergone some type of Frankenstein transformation.
They've been modified in some way.
Maybe that's like a show of like class.
Like that's their plastic surgery.
I want to go meet Jacqueline.
Is Jacqueline here?
You see a barkeep.
Maybe you could ask them.
Hey there.
James Chepany.
Is this your establishment?
She pauses for a second
from her tasks and looks at you
and says, Yep, I'm Jacqueline.
Oh, the one and only, the titular
Jacqueline. This is my crew.
Jacqueline is also in a bomb. She's got
bright eyes, a distended jaw,
and grasping webbed claws.
Make sure you tell her she's beautiful.
She says, Pleasure to meet you.
You're not from around here, are you?
No, how can you tell?
I can't quite put my claws on it.
Is it the ash?
I was making ash angels.
Not on your face, though.
It's not on your face.
Well, what can I get you and your crew?
What you serving, Jacqueline? We got, uh...
Why did you turn the iris there?
What you serving, Jacqueline? Listen,, uh... Why do you turn up? Ah! Ah! My throat.
What you doing, Jacqueline?
Listen, I'm still the subreddit.
I'm all up in my head right now.
Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it. They hate me.
They hate me.
You know who's Chip?
You're Chip.
You're Chip.
No one else is Chip.
No one else gets to define who Chip is.
Okay.
But Blanison Gibson.
Yeah.
We have two drink specials,
bellowberry juice and bolt bean juice.
If you're looking for some grub, we have knoll rolls and pulled pork sandwiches.
Bolt bean juice?
Is that like a coffee?
Like a cup of joe?
She points at a nearby patron who's sipping on a stein.
Right there.
That's bolt bean juice.
And you look over and you see it's like a fizzy yellow bean looking liquid.
That's not how coffee looks to me.
I'll have what he's having.
All right.
One bowl of pecan juice.
She begins pouring liquid into a stye and hands it to you and says,
That'll be one silver piece.
Okay.
Because I have whatever he isn't having.
Ooh, bellflower juice for our aged friend here.
She pours the liquid into a jug.
This one's a swirling purple and red juice. And hands it to you, Barney.
That's also one silver piece.
Okay, Barney, it's on the house.
Oh, wow.
Matty addresses Jacqueline.
Hello, Jacqueline.
We are visiting your fine city for the first time.
And we're actually trying to meet a friend of ours here.
Has there been any other visitors from out of town in your wonderful establishment?
There's always visitors coming to my place.
It's the best place in Mascot Town to get a drink and food.
What can I get for you?
Nothing from me.
I am okay.
But I was curious, has our friend Eddie checked in here at all?
Eddie.
Eddie.
She kind of rubs her claws at the bottom of her distended jaw as if she's thinking.
Someone who might not have skin.
That doesn't narrow it down too much.
Oh, he has green skin.
Big smile.
Big, big old smile.
And he's goo.
Didn't he goo?
No, he's green veins.
Bernie.
No skin.
Okay.
I thought he had green skin.
No, green veins.
Skinless.
That name doesn't ring a bell.
Can't say that I know an Eddie.
How has your city been faring since the unfortunate news of our fine wolfmen recently?
Oh, it's terrible what happened to the wolfmen.
Everyone's in shock.
Nobody can believe it.
Everyone here is doing okay, though.
Luckily, we've got Frankenstein here taking care of us, and you're a mascot.
Everybody's in shock because of the
electricity there.
Hey, I didn't want to rule out
Elga. Elga, do you want a beverage?
No, I'm too young to drink,
clearly. Oh, forgive me. Sorry.
I don't know if it's because of recent events,
but I haven't seen Frankenstein as much
recently. He hasn't really
been coming around. Does he usually
come around these parts
pretty often? Yeah, of course. Frankenstein has done wonders for Mascotan. We all really love
the guy. He's normally all around town. When did he stop kind of coming around more? Seems like
fairly recently, in the last week or two. Was this after he appeared at the parade,
Natural City? I don't know. I wasn't able to make it out there, so I don't know exactly. I was here
in Mascotan. But surely you
know when the parade was.
Yeah, more or less. Yeah, so
was it around that time?
Elka is like
hands up on the barn out,
like just in Jackalyn's face.
Enter Jackalyn. So
does Frankenstein have
anything to do with
Just the distinct look of
Masked people
You know yeah everybody's got like a unique look
It's real cool it's real hip it's like tattoos
You know oh yeah
Frankenstein very graciously offered his
Stitchery prowess to folks in town
Bring everyone together in brand new ways
Literally he even taught people
Like Shamey his techniques
Who's Shamey oh You haven't been there yet over at in brand new ways. Literally. He even taught people like Shami his techniques.
Who's Shami?
Oh, you haven't been there yet?
Over at Shami's Stitch Market?
Is that to the left?
Yeah, it's just a little west of here.
The only other business we saw.
What does Mr. Frankenstein look like?
You can't mistake him.
I could.
Well, I don't think you can.
Challenge accepted.
You see, one day Dr. Frank's brother, Stein, suffered injuries to his body.
It was a freak accident.
Dr. Frank did everything he could to stitch him back together, but there wasn't enough of Stein left. So he combined their bodies, stitching pieces of Stein's body onto his own, including his face and half of his brain.
So, Frank and Stein.
That's interesting.
half of his brain. So,
Frank and Stein. That's interesting.
He's got a green skin,
black mop of hair,
bolts in the neck, patchwork suit of purple patterns. You can't miss him at all.
Hey, Jacqueline, you ever hear of, uh,
it's a competiting, uh,
uh, competiting?
It's a compet-
It's a competing bar!
It's called the Stinky Dragon. You ever heard of that?
Can't say I have. Tell me more.
Where can I find the Stinky Dragon?
Well, you can find him on Spotify, Apple, YouTube, Twitter.
Never heard of those towns.
Instagram, TikTok.
Jacqueline, I'm curious, as a fan of the furthering of sciences,
where is the origin of all of your wonderful
electrical marvels? Oh,
the volts. That's Frankenstein as well.
It's an invention of his that somehow
captures the power of lightning in his windmill
and sends that power down to all the buildings
in town. Wow. Is that where
he lives? The windmill? No,
he doesn't live there. It's just a
collector for the volts. Well, where does
he live? He lives further north here in town.
Further north?
I've never been.
Oh, like a castle?
You maybe could call it that, sure.
It's a large residence.
What's the name of the place that they were saying the stitch place?
Shammy's?
Yeah.
Shammy's.
Shammy's Stitch Market.
What might we learn from Shammy, if that is his name?
Maybe you can learn how to make yourselves look a little better with some stitching.
Can we drink?
Can I drink my drink?
Yeah, you got the Bellaberry juice?
Yeah.
You can take a drink.
Cheers.
As you take a drink from it, screams sound from the jug.
It scared Barney.
Everyone who's at the bar close to you turns and looks at you.
Sorry. I want to eat my turns and looks at you. Sorry.
I want to eat my bean juice.
Drink it.
Whatever.
Bean juice in my mouth.
Go.
You take a drink of your bolt bean juice and it tickles your throat as you drink.
It's almost like it's infused with vaults.
Oh, it's like pop rocks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey there, Jacqueline.
You know, we're trying to get a feel for the town, for Muscaton.
Any folks in here that we should have a chit-chat with?
Well, you're definitely going to want to head over to the Tinkerspiel or the Stitch Market.
How about here in your bar, in your establishment?
Here?
I mean, you can talk to whoever you want, but don't bother my customers too much.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Of course not, of course not.
They're here to eat and drink. I don't want you running my business off are there any customers in here
that you maybe have problems with that you don't like and would be okay with them suffering the
only person i have a problem with is weegor he's not here right now weegor weegor what's wrong with
weegor he tends to get into people's business. Okay, so if he were to disappear suddenly, that wouldn't be bad.
Well, it wouldn't be bad for me.
Okay.
Where's Mr. Weegor?
I don't know.
All I know is he's not here right now.
Okay.
Matide tries to, like, give that, like, that nonverbal motion for us to, like, move on to our next...
Your neck?
Yeah, what's wrong with your neck there?
You got, like, a muscle spasm in your neck.
It's making your head.
Oh, birds can turn their heads
all the way around.
Are you doing a trick?
Could Elga grab
every single party member
and shove us out the door?
Wait, my team needs a massage.
Okay, thank you for the drinks.
Time to go, guys.
It's alive.
I think everyone's getting
a little too tipsy.
It's alive, it's alive,
it's alive, it's alive.
Kindest regards,
my rankly regulars.
Have you seen the latest
Stinky Dragon puppet video?
You deserve some more laughs
in your life.
Like the highlights,
our favorite moments from
Tales from the Stinky Dragon
in puppet form.
It's a good way to get
like little digestible tidbits
from the show.
They're going up on YouTube
as shorts.
It's an easy way to go see them.
Go check them out
at Stinky Dragon Pod
on YouTube.
Make sure you give us a follow at Stinky pod we're on twitter instagram tiktok and youtube
plus if you post on social media using hashtag stinky dragon pod we might name an npc in the
show after you we recently dropped our latest stinky dragon soundtrack armageddon you can listen
to it on all your favorite music streaming platforms it features 11 tracks of metallic
and brassy themes plus the beloved character song, Kyborg the Mighty.
On top of that, we've included encounter music
to use in your own D&D sessions with your friends.
Check it out for every Ustream music.
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All right, yeah, you all walk back out
onto the Asheville street.
It's snowing.
No, stop eating the snow, Barney.
Close your mouth.
Are we not concerned that we're, like, wanted, you know?
Well, that's in Atro City.
Atro City, yeah.
I'm a free man.
For the first time in your life.
Which way was the Stitch Market?
From where you are, you know you would have to go back further west.
So it's on that west side.
Yeah.
What was the other one that was to the east?
It was Jacqueline's Jugghouse and...
Anton's Speakerspiel.
Anton's Tinkerspiel.
The sign said it was also in the same direction, out to the west.
The other one to the east was Eastern Gate.
Split the party?
Nope.
Chip, you're feeling really good.
You think it was that drink.
You feel energized
I start doing
Jumping jacks
That's what I'm doing
How much coffee did you have this morning Blaine
Not enough or too much
Not enough
Well should we maybe go over to
Shamie's
Let's go to Shamwell Stitches. Let's go.
Because I think Jacqueline said something about wanting us to go there.
Yeah, let's head over there.
You head back to the west and you come across that sign you initially saw by the gate that you walked in.
You continue to the west and as you're walking to the west, you pass a neon sign that says Anton's Tinker Spiel.
And there's another sign on the ground that says Shamey Stitch Market
and pointing to the north. You make the turn
and continue north a little bit and you come
across a rather large building
with a huge neon sign that says Shamey Stitch Market.
This must be the place.
Let's go in.
Everyone walks in? Yes. You walk in to
kind of a not so sterile waiting room
with bloodstained chairs and magazines.
The light fixtures are kind of buzzing and they seem to flicker on and off.
There's a front desk with no one at and a bell on it.
Oh, and there's a jar of green lollipops.
Elga, stop licking the floor.
Stop.
Stop that.
I have the water.
The bloodstained floors.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sorry.
Elga licks the floor.
No.
Mmm.
Yummy.
Sorry.
I just, you know, I'm very considerate of other people's places.
I want it to be clean.
Oh.
And what better way to clean?
Yes, than with your tongue.
Could I tell what kind of creature the blood is from?
Oh.
Do you have any ability that would tell you that?
Just experience.
Yeah.
Different awarenesses of blood.
You know how some people can like a wine taste?
Like a sommelier?
Yeah.
You can't quite place it.
It seems to be some blend you're unfamiliar with.
A blend, okay.
A blend.
Matide dings the bell.
You hear a voice from the back call out,
just a second.
For you, you get two.
Out from the back comes out another Abom.
This one has five spiked arms
and kind of a look of dread on their face.
Oh, don't know you folk.
Look like you're here for some work.
I'm Shami.
Good to meet you.
Who rang the bell?
Mateed raises their hand.
Shami walks up to you
and gives you a very enthusiastic five-armed hug.
Oh, that must be one.
Oh, a five-armed hug.
Yeah.
So what can I get you?
Are you putting limbs on?
You taking them off?
What are we doing today?
Unfortunately, I don't think you can do anything for me.
My body is in a certain state that is not stitchable anymore.
Well, that's too bad for you.
I agree.
In a past life, I would absolutely have used your establishment.
We are visiting your wonderful town for the first time.
And we are looking to learn a bit more about its workings.
And it's the head of the town, Frankenstein.
Frankenstein.
Oh, yeah. Great guy. Learned a lot from him. What is your relationship to that individual? Contemporary. more about its workings and it's uh the head of the town uh frankenstein frankenstein oh yeah
great guy learned a lot from him what is your relationship to that individual a contemporary
i guess you could say you know uh one-time apprentice now uh we can stand shoulder to
shoulder in our work i'm sure you've seen my work all around town i've noticed that as the majority
of the work there seems to be a lot of attachment via stitching. Do you ever do removal of certain body parts permanently?
Oh, sure, absolutely.
Any of your friends here looking to get rid of an arm?
I'll give you good money for it.
I had a friend that was wondering
if they could remove all the skin of their body.
Have you ever done that exactly before?
Oh, yeah, sure.
Clever.
I say that out loud.
Thank you.
Champ.
Champ.
Champ.
Oh, who are you? Shami turns and looks at you. Oh, my God Champ! Oh, who are you?
Uh, Shami turns and looks at you.
Hey there, Chipainy! I wanna shake every five of your hands.
Yeah, all five arms come out for handshakes and then hugs.
Firm grips! Wow, look at that!
Hey, I got a tail. Can I put a hand on my tail?
Oh yeah, we can do that.
Really? You want it to be able to grab things?
Yeah!
Oh yeah, here, let's take a look here.
Everyone will be kind of like a monkey.
Ooh, ah-ha.
That's my monkey impression.
Are you done with the sickness?
Ooh, ah-ha.
Ooh, ah-ha.
That's the William Shatner version of that song.
What kind of hand are you looking for?
Ideally, I'd like some either color matching
or something fun.
You know, I'm purple, so if it's green, that'd be kind of cute. Purple. How many digits? hand you're looking for ideally i'd like some either color matching or or something fun you
know i'm purple so if it's green that'd be kind of cute purple how many digits a little
complimentary let's go for at least five i wanted to be able to hold a dagger so i could stab someone
in their back while i'm having a hug do you have a hand you'd prefer me to use or would you like
me to look through my inventory what do you got what do you got let's see he pulls out a giant
book and begins flipping through it let's see what I got here in stock.
How about an ape paw?
Ape paw.
It's not going to be purple.
It'll be a little furry.
Do I need to shave it?
Is it going to spread to the rest of my tail?
It won't spread, but it'll probably grow back.
Careful about the monkey's paw.
What?
There's always an ovals.
We can get it for you.
Let's see.
The surgery base price, 35
gold. Adding a paw.
Do the paw.
Give you a discount. You got a good handshake
here. I got one
here. It's still good. We can
probably get that done for
let's say it's kind of 45 gold.
What other paws cans do you got?
What's your best one? What's your discount
one? No, no.
I want the nicest hand.
Most flexible, best grip, all of that.
Most flexible, best grip.
Well, let's see.
We got ape in stock.
We got... Oh, ape's nice.
I hear that's nice.
That's trendy.
The ape was the first one.
Are you listening at all?
Yes, of course.
Okay.
We got sphinx.
Sphinx.
Oh, exotic.
Nice.
That's all I got in stock right now.
If you bring back something, of course, I'd be happy to.
Oh, God.
You know what?
I'm going to keep my eyes open for a green hand.
I really want a green hand.
Do you know a gentleman named Weegor by any chance?
Weegor?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I do.
Does he have hands?
Does he have hands?
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
Weegor does have hands.
What color hands?
Color? Yeah. Are they green? Are Yeah, yeah, Igor does have hands. What color hands? Color?
Yeah, are they green?
And really asking me specific questions.
Igor has four hands, actually.
He wears gloves lots.
He could spare one of those.
Yeah, let's get you one of those.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, we should progress the narrative.
Do you...
Eddie!
Eddie!
Yeah.
Is there any chance that you keep documentation of previous customers to, I don't know, keep a record?
Oh, like some kind of log or something?
Sure.
We have in the past, but some of our customers don't like that.
So it's not very complete.
You ever heard of FERPA?
FERPA? What's that?
It's, you got to keep things, you know, non-disclosure and such.
Some of our customers are pretty private about that.
Mateed tries a little something different and takes out a gold coin and slides it across the counter and asks,
Does the name Eddie ring a bell at all of your customers?
Eddie.
Eddie. What does he look like?
Skinless.
Noticable green veins.
Big smile.
Big smile. Big smile.
Mean.
I can't say it rings a bell.
I have had many customers come through asking for things similar to what you're asking about,
so it doesn't really stand out too much to me.
Why would you think that someone would want that particular procedure to be done?
Hey, it's not my place to ask people.
Of course not.
But you are an expert of the field, and I was just curious what your opinion is of it.
What kind of benefits might it bring
to the customer? Have their skin
removed and green veins.
Then you don't have to worry about washing your skin all the time.
Yes, it just goes right on your
ooey gooey muscles. And as far as
green veins, it could be their, whoever
you're asking about, it could be their
blood is green. Who might have green
blood? Oh, all kinds of folks.
It really depends on your ancestry.
Mateed tries to think about
what Mateed remembers of creatures
with green blood. Can I check for that? Yeah, make a wisdom
check. What color is Chip's blood?
I only rolled a five.
You only have a vague memory of it,
but you know that, you know, beings
from other planes sometimes
have different colored blood. Oh, area 15 folk. Possibly, yeah. memory of it but you know that you know beings from other planes sometimes have uh different
colored blood oh area 15 folk possibly yeah um side question why is there so much ash in the air
and on the ground in the city the ash in the air well that's always been there i can't i really
can't imagine it not being there i guess it's just part of living here part of the mesquite and charm
okay well can you also tell us about the volts?
I'm just so fascinated by these and, you know, what they do.
Oh, yeah.
That's all thanks to Frankenstein.
He invented that, you know.
What are they?
The volts?
Yeah.
It's a power that's transferred down here so that we can run equipment like these lights you see.
Oh, okay.
Maybe in the future
they call it electricity.
That's such a big word.
Bolts does sound cool.
Is that it?
I'm trying to think
of anything else
to get from this encounter.
I don't want an extra hand.
Oh, God.
Barn.
It's okay.
And remember,
he was right behind you.
Perhaps, Bonnie,
you would like to help Chip with his procedure.
Yeah.
Okay, but I don't want one.
Okay, you won't get one.
I'll take the extra hand.
That way, when people are saying, hey, Chip, can you give me a hand?
I'll say, which one?
And I'll have three.
Matita, again, questioning why they are traveling with
these oddities. Side note
I will be cutting off someone's hand
I'm joking. If I can
find a green hand, it's happening. Gotcha
Mateed pulls the party aside
for a sidebar. I do not
know anything else that we can glean from this
establishment but I'm quite curious
to check out this windmill where
the volts are coming from. Yeah
There's also the Tinker Tell.
Oh.
Tinker Spiel.
Might as well.
Rule of threes, hit up all the shops.
Okay.
Well, and the Eastern Gate at some point.
Yeah.
Let's go.
Then let's go to the Tinker.
Before we leave, is anyone currently being worked on by Shammy?
Is there anyone in the shop there?
You don't see anyone else.
I don't see anyone else. No. Before we go, I say, hey, Shammy, Is there anyone in the shop there? You don't see anyone else. I don't see anyone else. No.
Before we go, I say, hey, Shammy,
hold up them hands. And then I
give him a high five.
All five? That's a high 25?
There it is. Hey, I'll be back for that hand.
You got it. You want to take a lollipop?
Absolutely. Yo opens up
the jar that was there next to the bell.
Feel free. Everyone can take one. Green apple? What is it?
My blood sugar's a little low.
You say blood?
Green apple.
No, no, no.
Try one.
You'll like it.
Okay.
Stick it in my mouth.
I'm a trusting person.
You take a lick of the lollipop,
and the lollipop screams when you lick it.
It's an ice cream.
Matches the voices in my head.
Now it's actually in your head what's the flavor the flavor
ice cream existential dread the flavor is green the flavor is green i'm gonna take a couple more
shamey can i take a couple more only if you promise to come back and get some work hey you
know it i'm gonna take three if that's okay with you that means you have to get three works done see you later shimmy which way do the signs point to the tinker spiel
that should be south from where we are yeah correct you all passed it you did see it so you
know where it is it's just a couple of a couple blocks south let's just do the full tour okay
we'll check out this whole place oh yeah who do. Who do you think you... Hey, who are you people? Yeah, you're not the only one who can do that.
Mom, Dad?
Tinker.
Sorry, I meant to speak like this.
Mike and Linda, let's head to the Tinker.
I'm going to add three screaming lollipops to my inventory.
You walk a little to the south,
and you go back to the building that has the neon sign
that says Anton's Tinker Spiel.
What's in here?
And Barney goes in.
I really do like Barney's sense here? And Barney goes in. I really do like Barney's
sense of wonder.
Barney walks in. Matide
recognizes an opportunity
and holds Elga and
Chip back just to see what Barney
does. Okay. Barney
walks in alone. So Barney, you're
the only one that sees this. It appears to be a
quaint toy shop lined with shelves and
shelves of handcrafted toys that are infused with vaults everything here looks like has lots of really
fine detail worked into it in fact the light fixtures themselves are crafted to look like
glowing windmills and you see uh an employee who seems to be like cleaning off some of the shelves
hi i'm barney this is quite the place he turns around with a little bit of a start and you
realize that this employee has two heads one of them addresses you and says oh hi there we're
anta what can we do for you well you've got two heads i see you know what they say two heads are
better than one the second head turns and looks at the other one and says, You always say that. What's your favorite toy that you've got around here?
My favorite toy is right here.
The hide and seeker doll.
I knew you would say that.
That's the dumbest toy we have.
Best toy is a storm sled.
What's the difference?
Well, one's a doll and one's a sled.
They're two different toys.
They move all about on their own, huh?
We're just going to wait outside.
I like this.
I like this.
I am enjoying my time right now.
I jawed him.
You see, here the Hide and Seek doll,
it's a hand-stitched doll that we can customize to look like whoever you want,
and it loves to find new friends.
Wow.
Yeah, that toy's terrible.
You see, the storm sled is a dome-shaped sled.
It protects your dome when you're on the slopes.
Ooh.
How much are those?
We're having a special on the hide-and-seeker doll.
It's only 25 gold, but the storm sled over there is 50 gold.
We ain't got money like this yet.
Yeah, you're right.
None of us have money.
I forgot about you. No, nobody have money. I forgot about you.
No, nobody has money.
I was like, why was Chip so curious about this?
Like, no way he's got money. I forgot you little...
I'm saving up for a procedure.
I gotcha. I've only got 14 gold.
14 gold? What are you? Some no good kid with no money?
Oh. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Bernie, which one do you want?
You're outside.
You're outside.
Okay.
You can go in.
I really like this place.
I appreciate your help.
Do you know why I'm here?
We presume you want to buy a toy?
I don't have the money.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
Well, that was a neat adventure. Give us a recap, Barney.
Did you get any information out of them?
Yeah, we were looking for some suspects.
What's any leads?
Yeah, they had a sled and a hat.
Those are the two same toys,
I believe. Yes. Any nothing else?
Well, one of them helps
as a seeker, and we could
get that, and then that might seek for us.
That's not a bad idea.
Okay.
Matita addresses Barney.
How much was that toy?
Oh, well, it was more than I have.
Do you remember how much it was?
I think it was 25 golds.
Okay.
And what did it do?
Tell us in very good description, very detailed what this toy does.
What did it look like?
What kind of materials?
I think it was a little boy.
And it sought things.
So this is a toy or this is a customer?
I'm not exactly sure.
It could have been a little toy customer.
If we split the cost of this toy, maybe we could purchase it.
It could help us with our search.
You have all my gold.
It's 14. It's my life savings.
I give him 6
gold. Well, that's not enough.
No, it's not.
I give him
8. How much do you have total now?
How much more do you need?
He's gotten 14 from me and whatever his
share is of it.
No, 14 total.
Plus your 14 if you give in all of your
money. I give him more though
because, you know.
I'll give you 5 gold as well.
Social Security didn't come
in and do their job. So 33?
You gave me 5? I gave you 5, yeah.
Alright.
I'm gonna go back.
I send him back in. Go get him, Tiger! You got this. Hi, I'm gonna go back. I send it back in go get him tiger. You got this
Wow, this is an amazing
The two heads of Anton look at each other
And then look back at you. Well, that's two heads you have there
Well, you know what they say. Two heads are better than one.
You always say that.
What do you got here?
We have all kinds of toys.
A hide-and-seeker doll, sparkle marbles, rocking warg, storm sled.
And what's that little seeker doll, hide-and-seeker?
Yeah, it's a little hand-stitched doll.
We'll make it look just like you.
Loves to find new friends.
Can I get one of those,
but make it look like a man with no skin?
And green.
Why does it matter what it looks like?
Well, is he here?
Can we take a look at him so we know how to make it?
No.
That's what we're struggling with,
is we don't know where he is.
Well, this will help you find him.
Ooh. Okay.
I'll tell you what. We can make this doll look just like you.
Okay.
And when you whisper the word seek and throw it,
it'll seek out whoever you're looking for within 120 feet of you.
Oh, that's it?
Of course, it has to be someone you've seen before.
You don't need to see them now, but if they're within 120 feet,
it'll fly through the air to them, even through narrow openings.
Get this, once it finds through the air to them, even through narrow openings. Get this.
Once it finds whoever you're looking for, it'll hit them and release a large stash of volts and shock them.
Oh, wow.
This is a good toy.
This is not a good toy for kids.
Heat-seeking missile.
It only works once.
After that, it becomes an ordinary doll.
I'll take four.
Four, okay.
That's 100 gold.
Oh, my.
I'll take one. 25 gold the uh storekeeper doesn't seem to be
moving uh anymore they just have their hand out they're waiting for the cold one two three
how many times do you have to restart yeah when does he when does he drop them all
i have exact change i'm gonna pay 25 gold in copper pieces.
Yeah.
All right, I pay.
Okay, Anton takes the 25 gold from you
and very quickly and deftly starts modifying
the Hide and Seeker doll to look like you.
It's kind of amazing to watch
because even though his hands are made of hooks,
he operates very quickly on the doll
and then hands it off to you.
It looks just like you, Barney.
It's even got a little walker just like like you have Wow. Well, this is Nito
And don't forget the magic word you have to whisper to it is seek
Okay Chris is killing it this episode
Alright bye bye
And then Barney leaves
Yeah Barney walks back outside and rejoins
The rest of the party and he's got a little doll
That looks just like him
Oh a baby Barney
And it's all thanks to you guys
So it's a little doll that looks like an old man
Like Benjamin Button style kind of situation
It's a little Barney looks like an old man, like Benjamin Button style kind of situation? Just a little. It's a little Barney doll.
Okay.
It's a Barney doll.
With the walker and everything?
You know.
We should, like, franchise these.
Call them Barneys.
Do you think we should also go in this door in case an old man here might not have seen
or asked the questions we need to ask these people?
I trust Barney with my life.
Okay.
Moving on.
This door will get us exactly what we need to ask these people. I trust Barney with my life. Okay, moving on. This doll will get us
exactly what we need.
Within 125 feet.
120.
So, no, you don't know that.
According to Barney,
who just told you for the first time you've ever heard that.
I know that in Dungeons & Dragons
125 feet, not
typically used.
I don't know what this is, but my good friend Barney, who I trust and really like.
Who you gave a bunch of money to.
Yeah.
Hey, Barney.
Yeah.
My wife Carol's been missing for a while. Oh, no.
Can you seek out Carol?
He goes to the doll.
No, Barney.
Matita grabs the doll.
Why?
Why?
It's a one-time use. Grabs the doll. But what if the person's not there? Grabs the doll. Why? Why? It's a one-time use.
Grabs the doll.
But what if the person's not there?
Grabs the doll.
This is my life mission.
I gotta find my wife.
Keep talking all you want.
I've got the doll.
I'm trying to find my life mission, too.
No, I'm trying to find my wife.
No, I'm trying to find my life mission.
No, it's two different things, but we can align and help each other.
If you look, you can actually see Elga and Mateet already walking towards the windmill. Better hurry.
As you finish up
your conversation here, a hunchback
humanoid covered in scars and stitches
wearing a cloak is walking down the street.
He seems to be walking along
with several wargs.
How many hands has this guy got? He's got four.
He sees you all, makes eye contact, and walks straight over to you.
Oh.
We know who this is.
Oh, visitors.
Visiting mascot, then, are you?
Uh, how do you know we're visitors and not residents?
Kind of a hunch.
I am meeting you all for the first time.
Hello, nice to meet you.
My name's Vigor.
We have not met yet, so I have not collected the Volt stacks from you yet. He sticks out two of his hands.
Well, I don't have to.
Oh, we're here.
We're broke, Wegor.
Can I shake your hand?
Elgo wants to do bite of sucking on Wegor.
What?
You're just going to go for a bite?
She tripped all the ash on the ground.
It's everywhere.
Escalation.
Roll to hit, I guess.
Should get advantage, right?
Ooh.
While his hands are out,
maybe he's not paying attention
or he's not defending himself. You
very quickly, with super speed,
latch on. Where do you bite? Do you have to
bite like a specific place? I don't think
I do. Let me bite his hand that's
sticking out. Like you're shaking his hand and you lean
in. I just go
face first into his hand.
I found it. I want to play it off as
I trip, though.
Oh, okay.
In that case, do Deception.
We'll hop right in on this roll.
Do you have a dice?
I don't.
So you quote unquote trip and fall mouth first onto Weegor's hand.
Fang first.
Fang first onto Weegor's hand
and latch on.
You let go of her.
Does it do damage? Yeah, it does. Should I roll
damage? Yeah. I seen that hit. Yeah,
yeah, it does hit. Alright, it did seven piercing
damage. Uyghur lets out a loud scream
as you latch on and bite
his hand. Ow! What are you doing?
Get him! And six
his wargs on you guys. Everyone go ahead
and roll initiatives.
It's been a while since we've tested
you know, will Gus just have
us fight this person if we attack them?
I was confused because your name is Weegor. I thought
you wanted gore. You know, we
love gore kind of situation.
That's a stretch, Elga. Now we're in a fight
with the locals.
It's called subterfuge, Elga. You gotta
be more careful. I rolled
12. 10.
8.
20.
Bada bing.
Weegor, like I said, instructs the wargs to attack you. As they draw closer, one of the wargs goes first and takes a bite at Chip.
A bite?
Yeah, it's a warg.
It's kind of like a big wolf.
Yeah.
Oh, okay. Gotcha. I didn't know what it was. Think of the things that the orcs. It's kind of like a big wolf. Oh, okay.
Gotcha.
I didn't know what it was.
Think of the things that the orcs rode on in Lord of the Rings.
Yeah.
I die.
My blood is on your hands, Elga.
And not in the kind of way that you want.
No, no.
Hitting AC 19.
Yeah, that's a hit.
The warg lashes out to bite you.
And as it's about to bite you, Frankenstein and the alchemist show up.
Oh, thank God.
Stop, stop. What is the meaning of this? What's going on here?
I slipped and fell. I'm just a child. The ash is very crumbly under my feet.
You notice Frankenstein's face is actually two faces stitched together from top to bottom.
One of the faces speaks and says,
No fight here now. Fight bad.
We agree.
We were not start fight.
You will
have to excuse my friend.
She is from a different part of
our great place.
And her customs
and traditions are a bit different.
I fell, but he'd
remember. Different generation.
She's one of them TikTokers,
you know, the kids and their phones.
I am attempting a different deception
since the first one did not work.
For Vigor.
So you're going to roll for deceiving Frankenstein?
He wasn't there.
Frankenstein and the alchemist
just seem confused in general.
Vigor, what is happening?
Oh, nothing.
Just walking around with the wargs, that's all.
That's not true.
You tried to take the tax.
He didn't ask us for tin gold each.
It was a bit of a shakedown.
Tax?
What tax?
Volt tax.
The volt tax.
You haven't paid your volt tax?
Igor says there's a volt tax.
Yeah, everybody pay their volt tax.
Tin gold.
Tin gold?
I don't know what they're talking about.
I was just walking the wards.
No, no, no.
You said ten vault tax because you gotta pay the outsiders
because they gotta pay for the masket and...
Dr. Frank kind of narrows his eyes, seemingly angry with Igor.
We're going to talk about this later.
Oh, we got him in trouble.
Uno reverse.
Way to go, Elga.
Good bite, good bite.
The alchemist steps in and says,
as you all can see,
luckily I found Frankenstein here safe and sound.
It seems he's not at all worried about Eddie.
No?
Stein, protect Frank Frank.
Stein has big arms.
He starts patting his biceps.
Come feel big arm. I'll go give him a feel. Elga goes to feel too. Yeah. Oh yeah, very strongting his biceps Come feel big arm
I'll go give him a feel
Elgo goes to feel too
Yeah
Oh yeah very strong
Huge biceps
Wow
Look at these
Elgo hangs off of it
As he lifts his arms
What are these
21 inch pythons
Stein laughs
These are so thick
And full of blood probably
Stein
Stein
Stop showing off.
They get it.
Why is Eddie not a problem?
Stein protects Frank Frank.
Oh, Eddie is not a problem because Stein will protect from Eddie.
Yeah.
Okay.
So does that mean they're afraid of Eddie as well?
Eddie's bad here in addition to where he came from?
Yeah, do you guys know who Eddie is?
I explained all about Eddie to Frankenstein
and about the impending danger of what we encountered in Atro City.
Can I pull the alchemist to the side
and ask him just a quick question away from them?
Sure.
Can I say, does he know that we're on the run
for potentially killing the Wolfmen, even though it wasn't us?
Doesn't have to know that.
I mean, we didn't do it.
Sure, sure.
But I just want to make sure. Yeah, we're fine I mean, we didn't do it. Sure, sure. But I just want to make sure.
Yeah, we're fine.
Well, we didn't do it.
You, on the other hand, don't know.
Am I right?
Where would you get here, Elga?
This is a one-on-one.
She's just so small.
She's just so small.
How did it happen?
Did you see my fence when you walked in?
Yes, we did.
Wonderful.
It collates fumological discharges
from atmospheric disturbances and siphons
an extraction of volatile currents
into carefully configured circuitry
throughout the civic community, providing
Mascatanites an influx of volts
to utilize at their own leisure for illuminators
and other implementer apparatuses.
It's really quite simple.
Even Vigor gets it, don't you, good lad?
Oh, yes, master.
The wargs bark excitedly.
Oh, well, you all are looking quite confused.
Perhaps I should explain it again?
No, we are okay.
The Voltax is a bunch of bullhockey then?
I am not aware of any Voltax.
Interesting.
What kind of creature is Vigor?
Vigor is a...
Four-armed Abom?
Three-armed Abom. Four-armed. He's got threeyghur is a... Four-armed Abom. Punchback. Three-armed Abom.
Four-armed.
He's got three wargs.
Yeah, he's also an Abom.
Just then, you hear a thunderous explosion clatter from the sky.
Danger, Frank, Frank, danger.
No, no, Stein, settle down.
It's probably just the windmill.
And then you hear a loud roar.
You look up into the gray skies,
but all you see are as and flakes floating to the ground.
A blazing inferno of purple flame rains down from the sky.
Everyone make a dexterity saving throw.
This is one I could see, right?
Yeah, your danger sense wouldn't apply here.
Seven.
Okay, well, I rolled a nat 20, but I'll do it again.
Hi, Barney.
Uh-uh.
Uh, 21.
Uh, 19.
Mateed and Elga roll sufficiently.
Barney and Chip, you're a little too low,
and some of that purple flame hits you.
I'm a tiefling, so I have resistance to flame.
Oh, okay, so that means you would take
half of the fire damage then.
Ah-ha!
So the fire damage is 14 points of fire damage,
uh, half if you save.
Oh, my goodness.
I just saw Chris's face change drastically.
What percentage of Barney's life are we looking at being gone here?
Well, if there were 17%, I'm down 14.
Wow.
That vague answer.
We'll never know exactly. We'll never know exactly.
Yeah, never know.
Hey, you in the audience, if you were able to decipher that answer,
please let us know on social.
That's DinkyDragonPot.
Out from the clouds swoops a massive winged creature
made of barbed black bones blazing with purple flame.
I know you're here, you spineless spawn.
Show yourself. Mateed, go spineless spawn. Show yourself.
Mateed, go talk some sense into your friends.
Your undead bird friends.
Can I ask Frankenstein who they're looking for?
I don't know.
It is a huge skeletal looking dragon.
It's made of black spiny bones set ablaze by purple flames.
I'm just elaborating because I know you all were confused.
Yeah, we're like, man.
You know I'm looking for you
Frankenstein.
I know you stole the
crystal you thieving scum.
Uh oh.
Matit does like the subtle
sidestep away from Frankenstein.
Yeah.
Oh look at this over here in this area.
The longer you hide
Frankenstein,
the more I burn.
Then the giant skeletal dragon begins blowing fire
at different buildings and parts of the town.
Oh, my.
What's Frankenstein doing right now
in this situation?
I'll tell you what.
Make me an insight check, Elga.
Oh, a 20.
You feel like when he said
that he didn't know
who the dragon was looking for,
that he's not being entirely honest.
You think maybe he's hiding something.
A bit of deception.
Do you know this gentleman up here in the sky, Mr. Frankenstein?
No, I thought dragons were extinct.
Well, he clearly knows you, so one of you is not telling the truth.
As you're talking to Dr. Frank, you know, it seems like Stein's face is getting angrier and angrier,
and he's distracted. He's not looking at you, he's looking up at the dragon.
Before he can even answer you, Elka, Frankenstein suddenly jumps out,
waving his arms in the air.
I hear flying lizard. Come get me, I know scared.
And raises his fists up angrily in the air.
And with lightning speed, the winged serpent dives at Frankenstein and lands next to him with a thunderous crunch.
The creature's black skeletal frame pulses with purple flames.
There you are, you cowardly Kraton.
Where is the crystal?
I know I have crystal, lizard.
Now you leave.
How dare you speak to Skelegon this way. I will only ask you once more. Where is the crystal?
No crystal. Only death.
Frankenstein grabs a loose plank of wood from the ground and lunges towards Skelegon, striking his claw with the plank.
The wood breaks in half, but Skelegon doesn't even flinch. Instead, he lifts the claw and snatches Frankenstein, lifting him high into the air.
Skelegon glares at the purple-clad brute for a moment and then turns to you all.
This one may be a fool, but perhaps you are not. If you ever want to see Frankenstein
again, you will return the crystal to me in the Eastern Snarelands. You have one day.
Do you understand what's the crystal what is what is what no
get out of here you're starting fires we gotta evacuate these buildings is it better because
in their bread box still i gotta look at you elka do not test me spawn scum or or I will raze this village to the ground. You have one
day.
I'm only trying to get you what you want,
and you not to give me details. This is not helpful.
The skillagon launches into the air
and vanishes into the clouds of ash.
Does anybody know what kind of crystal that this dragon looks for? Any crystal?
Volunteer fireman Chip Haney reporting
for duty. Let's get these people out of these
burning buildings. Move, move,
move. Well, you'll have to coordinate your evacuation
in the next episode of
The Stinky Dragon. We haven't that time, Gustavo.
They're burning.
They're going to burn for another week.
We'll put them on pause.
They'll still be there when we come back next time.
Well, thanks for listening, everybody.
And we'll be back next week with another episode.
We are going to be at RTX this year, which might be quite close to when this episode releases.
And we're going to be doing some stuff at RTX for
our show and we're also going to do some collaborations
with some other role-playing shows like
Dungeons and Daddies or Must Be Dice.
There's a whole bunch of D&D stuff and podcasts
and gaming. We're doing
our best to take over RTX with all
D&D content. We figure that's the best.
So if you're going to be there, check
us out. If you have time to make
plans and come see us, I encourage you to do so.
July 7th to 9th here in Austin.
RTXAustin.com.
RTXAustin.com, guys.
This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst,
written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger
with additional editing work by David Saunier.
Here's a quick shout out to folks that interacted with us on social media recently.
Here's some NPCs named after them in this episode.
Shamey, the A-bomb surgeon named after user ShameyNay on Reddit.
Anton, the A-bomb toy maker named after
at Acid198 on Twitter.
Jacqueline, the A-bomb barkeep named after
at JackalKRArt on Instagram.
Also want to give special thanks to some friends
who provided voiceover for characters in this episode.
The Alchemist voiced by BlizzBear at BlizzBear.
Anton, the A-bomb toy maker
voiced by Andy Cortez at the
Andy Cortez of Kinda Funny. Jacqueline, the A-bomb barkeep voiced by Chloe Naylor Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales
from the Stinky Dragon.