Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Menace of Maschatten - C02 Ep 09 - Tug-O-Worg

Episode Date: June 28, 2023

The party fights the three-headed worg Kaselbri and the abomination assistant Weegor! Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDra...gon Go to http://shopify.com/dragon to sign up for a $1/month trial period. Go to http://shadyrays.com and use code DRAGON for 50% off 2 or more pairs of polarized sunglasses. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Rooster Teeth Production. dragon swallow our latest swill. Tropi cannot refuse roast. It's a mixture of corrosive coffee, magic missile milk fat, psionic syrup, a drum of rum, great club soda, shaken with compulsively cracked ice. One gulp of this gigantic guzzler is enough to send you around the horn. Previously, our adventurers wandered into the towering wind mule in search of a crystal. Inside, they encountered a chasm of clasping hands, wily traps and wargs, suspicious suits of arms, Uyghur with a three-headed warg, and a crystal contraption. Bring over a bold brew and buckle up for this bedtime tale hello everyone welcome to tales from the stinky dragon my name is gustavo sorolla i'm your dungeon master i'm joined by our intrepid crew as always crew sound off hello i'm barbara dunkelman i play
Starting point is 00:01:22 elga von brath the female half-elf vampire barbarian. What's up? Chip Haney's shounding off here. Shounding. This is Blaine Gibson. I'm a rogue tiefling. And I'm Chris Damaris. I play Barney Farney, the human cleric who's a senior citizen.
Starting point is 00:01:40 And I'm John Reisinger, and I play Matty Conficis, who is an air crockering ghost monk. Well, before we get started, I want to hit you guys with an arrow, a little role-playing warm-up question. Learn a little bit about your characters and what's going on. I've got a list of questions compiled from social media and some by our writer, Micah Reisinger. Hello, Micah. He's sitting right here too. Oh, God. I rolled a 21 here on our list of questions. This question comes from Cancer Syndrome on Discord,
Starting point is 00:02:08 asking, what is the most recent nightmare your character has had? Oh. Oh. Why don't we go in reverse order for this one? I will happily go first because I have an easy answer for Matide. Matide doesn't sleep. So Matide no longer dreams or has nightmares. So that's either beautiful or terrible.
Starting point is 00:02:24 So when Matide takes long rests What's the mechanic of that? It's like written into my character actually Where I don't need to sleep And so I assume it's something akin to Like an elf trance kind of thing Warforged also do that where they just stare Like they're just in low power mode
Starting point is 00:02:39 I think that that's the coolest thing ever So you're just watching us sleep then Or going off and doing other things A second mystery adventure. Well, luckily, cats like Jacques have very irregular sleeping habits, so you don't have to worry about that typical cat trope of it,
Starting point is 00:02:55 like waking you up all hours of the night or batting your face. I feel like it'd be so adorable if Jacques uses Matide's headscarf to kind of like just nuzzle back in there in the hooded part of it. Also, it works too because cats make biscuits and Matide's headscarf to kind of like just nuzzle back in there in the hooded part of it. Also, it works too because cats make biscuits and Matide is a baker.
Starting point is 00:03:09 I love that so much. That's so good. Reverse order. Reverse order. He had a nightmare. I feel like Barney's like, I am the nightmare. I am the knight. He had a nightmare recently that everyone was taking a break.
Starting point is 00:03:25 And then while he was sleeping, he was awoken. And the evil dead and the monsters were taking all y'all away. Oh. It's like his friends. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a beautiful moment. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:38 Chips is easy. You know, he wakes up. Or no, he's sleeping. He's like chasing Carol. He's chasing his wife. and she keeps running away. And he's like, Carol, come back, honey. Oh, God, I don't know where that voice came from. In his dream, he has a terrible southern accent.
Starting point is 00:03:54 Yeah. And she's just running away, and he's just running away, and he can't figure out why. Get off this treadmill. Oh, shoot. That's why it's really annoying to be near Chip when he's sleeping because his legs kick like a dog all the time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:07 While he's dreaming. Yeah. Oh, he's dreaming. Do you think he's dreaming about us? Elga had a very scary nightmare the other day. Daymare. Daymare, exactly. The nightmare, daymare, was her surfboarding on holy water on the crucifix.
Starting point is 00:04:25 While she was being force fed garlic that's a spicy surfboard wow that's horrifying I don't know who was force feeding me as I was surfboarding on the holy water but it was like a hand came down it was the pope I don't like directly asking
Starting point is 00:04:42 the community for anything but I would love to see community fan art of Elka's Nightmare. And she looks super radical, but she's also having a terrible time. Like crying while hanging. I feel like you could draw that cartoonishly, or because of the symbology, you go very Renaissance, and it'd be like fine art painting. Maybe you're shredding some wicked garlic fish,
Starting point is 00:05:04 and they were spewing up garlic. Garlic fish, the classic. Garlic fish, yeah. and it'd be like fine art painting. Maybe you're like shredding some like wicked garlic fish. Oh, yeah. And they were like spewing up garlic. Garlic fish, the classic. Garlic fish, yeah. Yeah. Smells great. You could live in that ocean. You never know.
Starting point is 00:05:12 But I also realized that I don't, like we've been out during the day walking about and like taking our rests at night, right? But Elga, I feel, wouldn't she be like be in pain with the sunlight and want to sleep during the day? It could be one of those things where because like the lore of vampires is often like mixed with there's certain things that are wrong that people got wrong about it. You know, she's a vampire.
Starting point is 00:05:37 The worst example I can think of is like Twilight, where it's like they're just sparkly in the in the daytime. They're fine. Elga, you're glowing. Yeah. I'm just very sweaty. We have to balance like classic vampire tropes with something that doesn't make the character not fun and unplayable for D&D. It's like you guys are all out adventuring. I'm sleeping. And then I'll go do my bit at night.
Starting point is 00:05:58 It's why Elga has a big hood. Yeah. I was going to say the three of the other party members could probably like you know give you a piggyback ride. Well sun protection is very important as well. It is. I think Elga wants to look young. We just haven't seen the moments where Elga applies SPF 200 suntan lotion at all times. Every three hours.
Starting point is 00:06:16 It just looks like mayonnaise. You take to the air and light yourself down the top of the staircase. Lovely. Everyone else climbs the air and light yourself down the top of the staircase. Lovely. Everyone else climbs the stairs and notices there seem to be more steps than the previous floors. The higher you climb, the more you think you hear a low rumbling in the walls. But before long, you spot some light peeking into the stairway and finally reach the next floor.
Starting point is 00:06:38 Yet again, you enter another circular room, but the ceilings are raised much higher, at least 30 feet in a dome shape. to another circular room, but the ceilings are raised much higher, at least 30 feet in a dome shape. A pair of small volts bulbs dimly light the center of the room, where the wooden floor gives way to a giant iron circle. At the far southern end of the room, the dim light gleams off a silver apparatus, a pylon-shaped rod with a clawed foot at the base and a glowing green crystal on its head. Standing next to it, you see the silhouette of a hunchback covered in scars and stitches. You don't belong here.
Starting point is 00:07:09 I can see it in your eyes. Your stunted brains can seem to stitch together the pieces of the puzzle. But don't worry. I know someone that can explain the situation. Uyghur pulls two levers on the silver apparatus. The stairway behind him seals off and the metallic floor in the center of the room lowers into the ground, revealing a deep shaft. A low rumbling echoes from below and suddenly a massive head of matted gray fur, starling yellow teeth, and gleaming eyes emerges from the center of the room.
Starting point is 00:07:41 It's quickly followed by a second head and a third. The metallic floor raises back up, revealing a giant warg body connected to all three heads. Castlebree here makes everything so much simpler. Wego reaches for another lever and... And green sparks discharge from the crystal and the silver apparatus comes to life. Storm clouds begin to form overhead in the dome's ceiling,
Starting point is 00:08:04 crackling and flashing with light. Catherbury, try to leave at least a few appendages for me to play with, will you? Yes, master. Good work. Now, fetch. Everyone roll initiative. Oh, gosh.
Starting point is 00:08:18 And that was Weegor, right? Yes. Yeah. 16. 17. 20. On a real date, 21. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:08:24 Wow. Shucks. Elga, you're up first. What's your plan? What are you date, 21. Ooh. Wow. Shucks. Elga, you're up first. What's your plan? What are you going to do here? You're a barbarian. I'm going to rage. Yay.
Starting point is 00:08:31 And then what's the layout of the room right now? Like where are we in relation to the- Big dome circle, guy in the middle. Where are we? Yeah. South, north. With the Kizelbri and Wegor. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:43 You all came up the stairway, which is kind of in the northeast quadrant of this circular room. Okay. Then in the center is this platform that raised Kazelbury up. Then at the far southern end of the room is where Weegore is with the clawed foot pilot. Okay. So how many feet is from us to Weegore, let's say? Let's say about between 80 and 90 feet.
Starting point is 00:09:06 Okay, so pretty far. Big room. And then Qazalbury is how far? To middle. Yeah, kind of halfway between that. And the crystal lover thing, that's down by Uyghur. Okay. Well, I want to move closer to Qazalbury.
Starting point is 00:09:18 Yeah, you do. And then, would I have to double move to be able to attack? No, you can get there. So moving to the center of the room, it's probably only about 25 or 30 feet to get to Kazelbri. I would like to attack with my great axe. Elga rages, charges into battle, and closes the distance with Kazelbri and attacks. Is this the first time we're seeing Elga rage?
Starting point is 00:09:41 No. No, I raged once before when it was very unnecessary. Okay. And then didn't rage when it was very necessary and almost died all right you close that distance and kazelle breeze rather large a three-headed warg staring at you intensely so that when you say three heads are they all connected to the same neck it's like a body with three necks and three heads like you know like drawings of cerberus yeah kind of like that. So I can't just go for the one neck and get all three heads off? Correct.
Starting point is 00:10:06 Okay. The exhaust port design flaw. Yeah. Could I try to go for one of the heads? Yeah. I mean, you don't have to call any specific shot. Don't do a called shot. But yeah, you can just attack.
Starting point is 00:10:17 He'll make you have to roll a disadvantage for called shots. Will we do called shots this season? Oh, I don't know if we've done that before. Blaine has tried to with Kygor. Kygor. Kygor. Kygor. Excuse me. New character.
Starting point is 00:10:28 Guys, I gotta go take a walk for a second. Weegor and Kyborg got put together in my head. How dare you? They're so different. Weborg. Next character. Weborg. Yeah, and it did not go well.
Starting point is 00:10:40 Normally, yeah, called shots. We should try to avoid that. But yeah, if you just want to make an attack, we can go with that. I would like to attack. Yeah. Great act. That's an 18. I would like to attack. Yeah. Great Axe. That's an 18. Good hit.
Starting point is 00:10:47 18 hits. Excellent. Doing 12 points of damage. Is that with your rage bonus? I guess plus two to melee damage. So that would be a 14. Yes. There it is.
Starting point is 00:10:57 Big hit. Teamwork. Yeah. Ooh, 14 points of damage. Yeah. Kazelbri howls in pain as the great axe connects solidly, doing a significant amount of damage. Nice. Yeah, that's right, little doggie.
Starting point is 00:11:09 You're Elga's B word. I was waiting for it. Is there anything else you can do, Elgar? Because you had a move, you had an attack. Is there anything you want to do? Oh, you want to use your bonus action. Well, my bonus action was the rage. Yeah, so I guess there's not much else you can do.
Starting point is 00:11:23 I think that's it, yeah. Okay, Mateed, you're up. Chip, you're after Mateed. And then Uyghur, then Barney. Okay. You know what? Mateed's going to join. Loves seeing the fury that is in the eyes of their little vampire friend.
Starting point is 00:11:35 And wants to join in the fray and heads into the center as well to give Kazelbrit a couple of targets. And does a Talon strike. Actually, specifically does a flurry of blows. I'm going to use one of my ki points and use flurry of blows, which basically means I get to do three unarmed strikes. What? Whoa! That's crazy. Mateed goes...
Starting point is 00:11:57 It's like E. Honda. It's like him doing his little move. Actually, it'd be more like Chun-Li because Mateed likes to use their talent. Gotcha. Well then in that case, because he's gonna be holding back on the joystick. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:09 I gotta use that block move. All right, I'm gonna roll that. That's a 20. That hits. Doing six points. That one's only an 11. That does not connect. And then this one is another 20.
Starting point is 00:12:21 That hits. Doing only four points of damage. So not quite 14, but I tried. It's still something. Yeah. Look at you guys. Maybe that'll be the straw that breaks the puppy's neck. There it is. Got really sad there at the end.
Starting point is 00:12:35 Yeah, I know. It is not. It's a good amount of damage. Both of you have done a significant amount of damage to Kazelbri. Your flurry of blows faster than the eye can see. Lash out at Kazelbry, striking twice, doing 10 points of damage. I want to position it where, like, Matide is
Starting point is 00:12:49 actually behind Elga, but because of Elga's size and Matide's length, Matide's able to just kick around Elga and still hit the dog. So you're trying to give Kazelbry multiple targets by hiding behind Elga? Yeah, but, like, letting the barbarian do barbarian things by being there front and center.
Starting point is 00:13:07 I was like, I don't want like I'm backing up Elga. Gotcha. That's how we do. Elga's the star. All right. You moved. You attacked. Is there anything else you want to do there?
Starting point is 00:13:16 Matit? No, nothing. Jacques hisses. This is Jacques' ultimate boss. Oh. Because it's a three headed giant dog. Take the shot Jacques yeah ship you're up then we gore then Barney and then cuz over warg who ha
Starting point is 00:13:32 what is it good for absolutely nothing say it again how long were you sitting there waiting to say you look like someone who like a dog at a greyhound match that's just waiting He's like no actually not like a greyhound it's like it's like the the border collies at the agility train They're like that are just hyped to like level 11 It's like the meme of that kid sitting at the desk with all of his veins bulging Like waiting to shout Okay, real quick question because I haven't used this before With disengage, do I have to have remaining speed left in order to use that? Yes
Starting point is 00:14:14 Okay, how far away am I from puppy? You are about, what did I say before, 25, 30 feet I can give you an exact number, hold on If it's 25, 30, then don't bother I'm just going to use a different thing Yeah, it's, 30 feet, I can give you an exact number. Hold on. If it's 25, 30, then don't bother. I'm just going to use a different thing. Yeah, it's about 30 feet. Okay, I'm learning very quickly that I'm squeaky.
Starting point is 00:14:30 So I don't want to... You are not meant to jump in the fray. Yeah, I don't want to get too close. Well, like be the main target. I think I'm going to skirt the outside and then maybe start like taking the circumference, the perimeter of the room to start heading towards Wegor. But on my way, I want to take a shot at, what's the name?
Starting point is 00:14:51 Kazelbrit. Kazelbrit. You're going to go south then? So if it's in the middle, I'm going to like skirt the edge of the thing heading towards Wegor, but I'm going to take a shot all the way. Does that make sense?
Starting point is 00:15:01 Yeah. So you're going to head south. That's what I was saying. I was saying south, and then when you were pointing to head south. That's what I was saying. I was saying south, and then when you were pointing to Gus, you were like, you went up. You're like, I'm going to go up this way. I just want to make sure he's clear that I'm not, like, heading straight towards the dog.
Starting point is 00:15:13 Like, ah. You're going south in a circle, and we're going to take a shot of Kazobri. Yes. All right. And I'm going to use my crossbow. Oh, that's right. Did you fix it? Yeah, of course.
Starting point is 00:15:23 Was it broken? You all had a... When was your short rest? He rolled like a one and broke it or something. I think it was before you got here. It was the very end of last episode. No, I don't think it was. So you're saying it's broken still?
Starting point is 00:15:35 I will say as you've been walking along, you've had time to work on it and restrain it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. All right, anyways. I'm just trying to impress people with my memory. That's good. Even I forgot. forgot i shoot gazelle with crossbow the point of the one is to remove the crossbow from that bit of combat so what was this word between combat it's fine it's an 11 it was an 11 no uh you're focusing too much on the sneaking and not enough on the shooting and the
Starting point is 00:16:00 crossbow bolt goes wide missing kazelleelri by a good amount. Shoot! All right. I don't have it. It's okay. You can do the move. So then, yep, I'm just moving towards Uyghur. Okay. Yeah, you make some good progress heading to the south and, you know, moving 30 feet,
Starting point is 00:16:16 you end up, you know, close to a window and some scattered books and you can see Uyghur looking at you with slight panic in his eyes. I'm coming for you. I'm gonna get you. I have Cunning Action, so that's, I could use dash as my bonus thing and then I could double it, right?
Starting point is 00:16:32 Is it a bonus action? Yeah, that would be a bonus action. So how far does that put me then? You would be pretty close to him at that point. Would he be within attack range? Likely. I'm gonna dash as far as I can to to him but still a safe enough distance that he's not going to just stab it's going to be like five feet you don't think you would be within
Starting point is 00:16:53 traditional melee range i can say that okay yeah sure i'll do that traditional well because you know there's some melee weapons that have like a 10 foot reach also my movement is all it's a combination of like skirting the edge of a wall. Like I'm on a high rise building, like trying to keep my balance. Very sneaky. Or I have my hands up like a T-Rex and I'm like, sneak, sneak, sneak.
Starting point is 00:17:13 I like the idea that we hear your sneakers as you're doing this and they're like. Yeah, it's like a basketball court. Every place is a basketball court. We're all silent and we just hear. I'm waiting for Gus to have Uyghur, like pull out a gun. Just cause like traditional distance.
Starting point is 00:17:30 What's Wegor gonna do? Oh yeah, so it's Wegor's turn. Chip is closing the distance. Wegor turns a strange eye towards you, Chip, and you feel like magic coming over you. Make me a wisdom saving throw. Okay, got a minus one to wisdom, but that's okay cause it's a 17.
Starting point is 00:17:47 For a second, you felt like Uyghur was your best friend. And you just wanted to hang out with him, but you shake it off. You manage to... Is Uyghur trying to be a little charming boy? Maybe. Be a little charmer? Sensing that it fails, Uyghur hisses at you.
Starting point is 00:18:02 Okay. What do you do? I hiss back, I go, You're a tiefling, you should be able to hiss pretty well. There it is. There it is. He pulls something out of his bag and throws it at you. Pakistan! Do I do any checks?
Starting point is 00:18:15 Make a dexterity saving throw to dodge out of the way. Quachow! It looks like it's a bag. It's a 13. Oh, you lucked out. Yeah, he throws a bag at you. It lands where you were standing just a second ago and explodes with lightning shooting out of it.
Starting point is 00:18:30 Cool. It's not very effective. It does. Can he get, what, half damage? Yeah. Oh, shucks. Six points of damage, but you saved, so you take three. Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:42 Three points of lightning damage. Lightning damage. Yeah. All right of lightning damage. Lightning damage. Yeah. All right. Weegor doesn't move. He does those actions, and that's the end of his turn. Barney. It's the end of his life.
Starting point is 00:18:52 I'm going to kill him. Barney, it's your turn. Then after Barney is Kazelbury. Wait for me. And Barney runs around, I guess, the other direction from where Chip went. Yeah. Okay. Towards Egor or Begor. Weegor. Weegor. around, I guess, the other direction from where Chip went? Yeah. Okay. Towards Igor
Starting point is 00:19:05 or Begor. Wegor. He would make his way through the alphabet and get there eventually. And then when he gets close enough... Are you trying to attack Wegor? Yeah. Okay. So he can... Oh, okay. Like a range attack. Yeah, yeah. But you're going the opposite way that Chip went.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Closing in. Pinsir. Gotcha. I like that. For a Pinsir motion, it's the man who has a walker going the opposite way that chip went. Closing it in. Pinsir. Gotcha. I like that. For a Pinsir motion, it's the man who has a walker going the long way. Just trying to make up double time. We're all just frozen waiting for Barney to get there. You just hear the clunk, clunk, clunk. It's like that scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail where they're looking at the people coming to attack in the distance.
Starting point is 00:19:44 It just takes forever. It just cuts back and forth. Your walker's probably really loud too, because it's just all metal. And then he's like slowly pulling out his crossbow. Then he shoots it. You really did sound like a Monty Python animated sketch right there.
Starting point is 00:20:04 So, okay. Before I acknowledge your attack roll, I do just want to point out, since you went the long way, you're basically shooting across the entire room. It's not an uh-oh. I'm just letting you know. I thought it was a circle. But you went the long way. The way that Chip went was much closer.
Starting point is 00:20:20 We came at the northeast. He goes right in the middle south, so you went long way so you're still shooting across the majority of the area. Okay. He wasn't directly across. As close as I can get to the center of the room without being in attack range of the ward. What?
Starting point is 00:20:37 So, like, instead of going a full, like, circle, I'm, like, kind of cutting across the circle as close as I can without getting within attack range of the war. I'm not saying you're out of crossbow range or anything. I'm just like trying to make sure you understand the implication of moving that way. Okay. Yeah. So you begin your pincer move around the circular room.
Starting point is 00:20:55 You take aim with your crossbow and shoot. What's your roll, Chris? 21. 21. And you're hitting. I'm sorry. You said you were targeting Uyghur? Uyghur.
Starting point is 00:21:02 Oh, okay. That hits. Ha! Doing seven points of damage. That's a good roll for a crossbow bolt. hitting you i'm sorry you said you were targeting we gore we gore oh okay that hits ha doing seven points of damage that's a good roll for a crossbow bolt he's facing chip so that hits him in the back oh right in the keister that's got it oh that's smarts that teach you and that's his turn okay that means it is kazelle brie's turn then after kazelle brie will go back to the top of the initiative order so kazelle brie has elga and the initiative order so kazelbury has elga and
Starting point is 00:21:26 chip in front of them right now incorrect elga and machete i'm sorry yeah all three of kazelbury's heads in unison look up towards the ceiling and howl together because it makes a horrible sound are they like harmonizing yes horrible but beautiful oh it's like it's like that shirt oh the three wolves all of you need to make wisdom saving throws that's the second time But beautiful it's like it's like that shirt All of you need to make wisdom saving throws that's the second time we've made that reference to that shirt in this show I know 21 for Elga It's a 2 minus 1 1 I rolled a 1 What's that? That's a 7. Oh wow Cleric 22, okay- I'll inspire myself.
Starting point is 00:22:06 And roll a... Two. Some of that rubs off on Chip, right? God? No? Aw, man. I rolled a three. So it's a nine.
Starting point is 00:22:17 It's a nine. It's a little better. Yeah, it's still not good enough. At least it's not a critical fail. That's- that's something. Yeah, it's not a- yeah. The horrible sound of the howl pierces the very soul of Chip and Barney.
Starting point is 00:22:29 You don't know what you're doing here and you're frightened of what's going on. Both of you are affected by the frightened status. Okay. What is it? Something we do... You can put up in conditions. Yeah, in conditions you can toggle frightened.
Starting point is 00:22:40 Okay. And it'll tell you... If you click on it, it'll tell you what your effects are. It should. You have disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls while the source of its fear
Starting point is 00:22:48 is within line of sight and the creature can't willingly move closer to the sound of its fear. Oh, okay. Both of you actually were already going towards Uyghur, so it won't affect your approaching Uyghur, but you cannot close the distance to Kazelbrin.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Also, it's line of sight, not when you can see it. What does that mean? It's in your line of sight right now. No, no, no. Because I have my hand covering my face. I'm avoiding it. I'm ignoring the... If when you can see it. It's in your line of sight right now. No, no, no, because I have my hand covering my face. I'm avoiding it. I'm ignoring the... If you can't see it,
Starting point is 00:23:09 it can't see you. Exactly, Barbara. Chip just unbuckles his fanny pack and then puts it around his head like a fanny pack on bandana. I'm in the zone. He used that for a sleep mask on a plane. You can make new saving throws at the end of your turn to try to shake it off.
Starting point is 00:23:26 Shrug off the effect. So that was one thing Kazelbri does. C is for chip. C is for courage. Those are the people who are not close to it. So now it's going to try to figure out what to do with Elga and Matide. It's going to try to bite Elga. I should say the head on the left growls at Elga and lashes out with a bite.
Starting point is 00:23:44 That's the turn of the tables. Elga's getting bit. Let's see how it feels. If it hits. It hits AC 15. Dang. Yeah, that hits. I like the drop of Elga voice. It does 10 points of piercing
Starting point is 00:24:00 damage. Since you're raging, you take half. You take five. Five points. Yes. So excited for you the teeth latch on uh and like you know how dogs do with toys where they like shake their head and like as they go it starts doing that with you you better make a strength saving throw oh you got this 24. oh my wow uh yeah it tries to shake you and throw you prone but elga's sturdy low center of gravity i'm very bulky i'm imagining Elga waving her arm and shaking the dog around now.
Starting point is 00:24:26 Yeah, exactly. While the head on the left is distracted with its new Elga chew toy, the head on the right looks at Mateed and one of its paws lashes out with a claw attack, trying to hit Mateed. He's got lots of moves. This is third.
Starting point is 00:24:42 Yeah, I guess you're right. Hits AC 24. That definitely hits. and then some does stop you can see it it's 18 points of slashing damage does it do you take all that i take enough to uh be incapacitated wait wait wait how much was the attack in your ac the ac was like what was the ac and what they hit? It hit AC 24. 24. Mateed is incapacitated. Your hide behind Elga strategy
Starting point is 00:25:10 seemed to have not worked as great as you thought it would. I think that when we switched to campaigns that we switched our character strengths, but they did not switch the enemy strengths.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Like we started at level one, but the enemy started at level 18. We've wandered into a part of the game where the game's trying to encourage you're not supposed to be here yet. You're supposed to do a bunch of random encounters and level up. You went to the wrong Mega Man boss.
Starting point is 00:25:34 You're supposed to go fight Cutman. We should have grinded. We need to grind more. It's okay. Mateed has advantage on death saving rolls. There you go. Is that because you're a ghost? Because I'm already dead.
Starting point is 00:25:45 I was going to say, could a ghost die again? Yeah. Double ghost. I become nothingness. No! You actually pass on to the afterlife? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:25:57 Maybe that's what you want. I don't know. Mateed likes their life. Okay. Even their undead life. Okay, that was Kazelbrie. Lucky for you, that's all Kazelbrie has. It's Elga's turn, but Weegor begins laughing maniacally at the sight of Mateed falling to the ground.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Weegor begins messing with the pylon down at the southern end of the room that he's standing by. What does that mean? Is that the thing that's holding the crystal? Yeah. Okay. And you all feel like the hairs on your body start to stand on end. A storm cloud appears at the top of the dome, and lightning starts hitting the ground all around you.
Starting point is 00:26:32 The three of you that are able, please make dexterity saving throws. Good. 16. Three. Five. I got rolls, my dude. Y'all are making this too easy for me. I hate how much the tables have turned.
Starting point is 00:26:44 Chip. We were beat in this butt in the last campaign. Now he's strong and mighty. What? It really was the rolls. Lay it on me. It was the rolls. If you recall, Gus had quite a string of just bad rolls.
Starting point is 00:26:54 He was, yeah. Chip, you're the only one who successfully saved. Okay. Your three doesn't save. Three does not save. So you all take some lightning damage. I think your damage reduction as a barbarian only applies to like
Starting point is 00:27:09 physical damage. I'm going to double check that. It's like physical stuff. Lightning, slashing, piercing. I mean, I would argue that lightning is bludgeoning. Please. I got punched by a bolt of lightning. I punched the bench. Why would you argue that? by a bolt of lightning. Yeah. Punch the bench. Why would you argue that?
Starting point is 00:27:27 It's force. Of nature. Exactly. Okay. Six points. Barbara, Chris is helping you. Yeah. Elka, it is now your turn.
Starting point is 00:27:38 Then after you is Matit. Is this thing still biting me? No. It let go. Your strength thing was able to get you out of the grapple. Correct. Bad dog. Bad dog.
Starting point is 00:27:48 I'm going to hit you again with my greataxe. Thank you. I'm going to slash him again. Thank you. That is a 21. 21, that hits. Nice. That's right.
Starting point is 00:27:58 And it does. Eight plus two, so 10 points of damage. Yeah, another solid hit with plenty of damage. You're paying back the pain to Kazelbri. But Kazelbri still stands. Really? How's Kazelbri looking? She's seen better days.
Starting point is 00:28:14 And then I'm going to just like move back a little bit. You would be open for opportunity attack? Yeah, that will provoke. Even though it's my turn? Yeah. Okay, I'll just stay where I am then. You have like a disengage or something. Yeah, stand your ground. Anything else you can do, Elga? No, I don turn? Yeah. Okay, I'll just stay where I am then. Yeah. Give like a disengage or something.
Starting point is 00:28:25 Yeah. Stand your ground. Anything else you can do, Elga? No, I don't think so. Okay. Mateed and Chip. Mateed, roll that beautiful bean footage. I'm gonna roll two d20s.
Starting point is 00:28:34 That's glad I have that. I rolled an 18 and a two. I'm gonna take the 18 as a success. It's wise. It's a good call. You know, from your perspective, you know, you're not conscious, right? You know, it's all black. But you start to see like a watery, hazy vision.
Starting point is 00:28:48 And you hear voices. I don't know. I don't think he's ready. None of them are. Chip, your turn. Okay. Well, not a fan of how this dog is wiping my team, so I'm going to have to. You're terrified of it.
Starting point is 00:29:00 Yeah. Well, no. I have my hand up, so I'm just kidding. I'm going to take a slash at Weegor with the old arm blade. So you're going to get the melee range. Yeah, you close the distance to Weegor and lash out. Yeah. That's a 22.
Starting point is 00:29:18 Because you're frightened, aren't you attacking a disadvantage currently? Frightened creature is disadvantaged on ability checks and attack rolls with the source of its fear is within the line of sight. Okay. Oh, sorry, Gus. That's a 24. and ability checks and attack rolls with the source of its fear is within the line of sight. Okay. Okay. Oh, sorry, Gus. That's 24. Well, it's a 22 because we take the lower one. Sure.
Starting point is 00:29:30 Yeah, so your attack connects with Wegor. Eight. Eight. Eight. I think it's an eight. Yeah, eight. You deploy your arm blade and stab. You make a Wegor skewer doing eight points of damage.
Starting point is 00:29:43 Cool. And then while I'm there, I have a potion of healing. And if memory serves, you said that you could take a turn and we could get the full effects of the potion of healing. Or we could take a bonus action or something. And roll it. And roll it. A little homebrew.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Yeah. So we're doing a little homebrew rules. I'm going to do that. Five plus two. That's seven. I heal for seven points. So we're doing a little homebrew rolls. I'm going to do that. Five plus two. That's seven. I heal for seven points. You're upset with that? That's really good.
Starting point is 00:30:09 That's probably decent for your max HP. Yeah, it's okay. Also, it's 2d4, and the most you could have rolled was eight. You got a five. You got a four and a one. True. You're such a pessimist. I'd be happy with that roll.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Yeah, I just had a terrible nightmare. I had a bad night of sleep with my wife running away from me and everything. He saw the health potion is half full. Yeah. While I'm there, can I talk to Weegor? Yeah, what do you want to say? Hey, call off your dog, all right? It's not fun.
Starting point is 00:30:36 You're being weird, all right? Let's, like, chill out, yeah? He's being weird, Gore? You're being weird, Gore, not Weegor. What's the dealio? Are you trying to persuade him or are you trying to intimidate him I'm intimidating. Oh make it intimidation. That was intimidating. Yeah 14 14, you know we gore has four arms and he puts one of his arms up to his chin Like he's considering what you're saying. Then he just begins laughing.
Starting point is 00:31:07 I laugh back. Not so funny now, is it? I think it's really funny. Thank you, Barney. Alright, that's my turn. Because I can't do the jump backwards, right? Because I just used my bonus action for the potion? Correct. Okay, so then I'm just hanging out.
Starting point is 00:31:23 I also need to roll my wisdom saving throw, correct? Yeah. Okay. Here we go. 10. That does not make it. No. Okay. You're still scared. That was Chip. Oh, it's Weegor's turn. Oh, great. What's he going to do with all these arms? What are those arms for Weegor? I know what he's going to do. He begins furiously flapping his arms wildly all around him. It's like a rain of fists coming down on you there, Chip. Make a dexterity saving throw. What do you want? Oh, that's pretty good. All right.
Starting point is 00:31:49 A couple of the fists land on you and hit you, but you're able to block and absorb most of the damage. You only take five points of bludgeoning damage. Okay. And that's already considering it being abbed and stuff. Yes. You see the glint of metal as Uyghur pulls out a weapon and tries to quickly put that weapon in you. the glint of metal as we go pulls out a weapon and tries to quickly
Starting point is 00:32:05 put that weapon in you what a what a way of saying it yeah that's a word smith pits ac23 believe it or not that hits what that does i'm getting good rolls this episode i'm really liking this five points of piercing damage good lord you still standing good thing i have a healing potion i'm barely Make a constitution saving throw. Let's see if that thing... Oh, my god. Why are you doing this to me, guys? Seven.
Starting point is 00:32:29 You feel as the weapon pierces you, a burning sensation radiating from that point, and it slowly freezes your body in position. How many conditions are you going to just... According to Pokemon rules, he should only have one status effect at a time. Yeah, let's, like, go... You effect at a time. Yeah, let's let go. You're now also paralyzed.
Starting point is 00:32:47 Oh, that's great. For those at home, that means that I'm incapacitated. I can't move or speak. Yeah, shut up. Pleasantries, my pungent pals. Good news, fellow stinkers. We finally have official Stinky Dragon Dice coming to the store.
Starting point is 00:33:05 They go on sale first at RTX. So attendees will get first dibs, but they'll be available at the RT store soon after. So stay tuned here and on our socials. We'll have more details on when they'll be available online very soon. Go follow us at Stinky Dragon Pod. We're on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Plus, if you post on social media using hashtag StinkyDragonPod,
Starting point is 00:33:23 we might name an NPC in the show after you. Listen up, you little stinkers. We've got a brand new show that's all about how we made our first D&D campaign, The Infinite Interns. From character creation to my juicy DM tips, you can find it all on Dungeon Dive, our new D&D series available today on TikTok. Don't miss out on how to make a hot cup of Mudd's coffee. Check it out at StinkyDragonPod right now over on TikTok. hot cup of Mudd's coffee. Check it out at StinkyDragonPod right now over on TikTok. Kick off the summer with gear built to last. Our friends at Shady Race have you covered for the warm weather ahead with premium polarized shades at an affordable price. In case you don't already know, Shady Race is an independent sunglasses company that offers a world-class product that's
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Starting point is 00:36:27 I'm super excited about RTX. I'm looking forward to meeting all of you there. Head over to rtxaustin.com, get more information about the event, and buy your badge. It's time for dolls, drama, and death in Barbie Didn't Do It, a six-episode true crime parody role-playing event
Starting point is 00:36:42 from the hilarious cast over at Must Be Dice. Barbie's on the run, accused of murdering her new boyfriend Kenneth in cold blood. Now her best friends Georgette and Candy must don their detective hats and help clear Barbie's name before the real killer strikes again. This might mean tracking down and investigating Barbie's ex-boyfriends, the Kens, who know more than they let on. Kind of. So subscribe to the Must Be Dice podcast feed to listen to Barbie Didn't Do It right now, or watch the full video versions on youtube.com slash at funhouse2. And make sure you head to roosterteeth.com and become a first member to watch episodes early and get access to the exclusive Barbie Didn't Do It post-show.
Starting point is 00:37:28 Barbie's fate depends on it. Oh, that hurt. That hurt. Barney. Oh, no. Did you see what just happened to Chip? No. I don't think Barney's that upset. How are you doing health-wise? Is he allowed to tell us? He's allowed to talk. I'm not doing great. How many points left?
Starting point is 00:37:58 Let's see. If I ever had a glass, it'd be a quarter full. All right. I would say a half-half. Barney wants to kind of like move to the center towards the dog well like in between the dog and chip and we go wait wait you said you want to go to the center well like in between where the center of the doggy is and then where i see so like on the southern portion of the room between the center and where we go is got it can
Starting point is 00:38:23 i get within like 30 feet of everyone? What do you mean by everyone? Like all the teammates. Oh, I see. I see. I see. Yeah. There's easily a position you can get to where everyone would be within 30 feet of you.
Starting point is 00:38:34 And then Barney goes, I may be in the twilight of my years, but I'm channeled twilight century. I don't know what you just said. I'm channeled twilight century. A channeled divinity. As an action. You present your holy symbol and a sphere of twilight emanates from you. The sphere is centered on you, has a 30 foot radius and is filled with
Starting point is 00:38:51 thin light. The sphere moves with you and will last for one minute or until you're incapacitated or die. Whenever a creature, including you, ends its turn in the sphere, you can grant that creature one of these benefits. One d6 plus two temporary hit points or you end one effect on it causing it to be charmed or frightened at the end of our next end of everyone's turn yeah
Starting point is 00:39:11 for for a minute so you pick what they get yeah what's party's holy symbol it's a setting sun like a medallion or something yeah i was hoping you were going to say was the walker oh i mean can that be a holy symbol i don't know you gotta tell us what's holy about your well he's got a pocket watch okay and then on one side you open it up you know yeah there's nothing there's a missing picture made in china and on the other side there's a clock but then like the emblem of it is like a setting sun okay i like this so i'll do that so you moved you cast that you said you're a quarter full, you're what? I'm fine. She only took the bite damage.
Starting point is 00:39:47 Yeah. Oh, I know, lightning too, lightning. If you want actual numbers, I have 19 HP left. Oh, Lord. What? I don't even have max that. Jesus. Same here. And then I guess I'll do that.
Starting point is 00:39:58 Are you going to stay there? Are you going to maintain that position? Yeah, so that I'm centered around everyone. Okay. What do you grant yourself? Well, I would like to grant 1d6 plus 2, which I will roll for now. Temporary hit points. You know, wait.
Starting point is 00:40:13 Do you want to clear your frightening? That's at the end of my turn, so I'd have to do that after. Oh, that's this. You choose either. Oh, can I clear it? Yeah, can I try and roll for that first? So just for as a point of clarity then, I forgot you were frightened. You wouldn't have been able to make that direct line movement
Starting point is 00:40:26 because you can't get any closer to Kazelbury. Oh, okay. Your movement would have been a little more arc. You still had to have enough movement to do it. So it would have been a little more curved, a little more arc around the outside of the room because you cannot close that distance at all. I don't like that doggy. So you're going to clear frightening or add HP? If it's at the end of my turn, I can
Starting point is 00:40:41 pick which one goes first. I can try and clear my frightening by myself first. Right. So I'll do that. A roll for wisdom, right? Yeah. Well, they're both at the end of my turn, I can pick which one goes first. I can try and clear my Frightening by myself first. Right. So I'll do that. A roll for wisdom, right? Yeah. Well, they're both at the end of your turn. Yeah, go ahead.
Starting point is 00:40:50 I see what you're saying. You get to go ahead and check for Frightening. Yeah. Okay. 25. Yes. You regain your courage. You're no longer afraid of Kazelbury.
Starting point is 00:40:58 Do you remember the time a three-headed dog was nice to you as a child? And then I got six to pretty points. Ooh, it's kind of a powerful spell there. Or channel divinity, I think. That's a new one, I imagine, right? Yeah. Well, it's not a spell. It's like a cleric thing.
Starting point is 00:41:16 Nice. It's crazy when we have just someone who's meant to be healer. Okay. Is that it for you, Barney? Yeah. It's Kazelbri's turn. Kazelbri's going to try to bite Elga again. Elga just looks like a chew toy to him.
Starting point is 00:41:30 All right, you want to party, little wolf? I look like Red Riding Hood. This doesn't end well for you. Oh, no! I don't think that helped. It maybe made Kazelbri angry, hitting AC 27. Oh! Let me do some math here.
Starting point is 00:41:47 Yeah, that's a hit. Crunch the numbers. That's probably like double your AC if you're a barbarian. Yeah, it's pretty high. It's almost double. Crunch the numbers like it's about to crunch Elga's bones. Aw. 15 points of damage, but you take half, so you take seven.
Starting point is 00:42:02 Piercing damage. You must make a strength saving throw. 22. Nice. Elka's so strong. Wow. That's right. And she flexes even though she's in the middle of being bit. Kazilbri's also gonna claw at you. What? You know, the three
Starting point is 00:42:18 actions this dog gets to take. It has three heads, but only one body. Yeah, the first was a bite and now the claw. The claw hits AC body. Yeah, the first was a bite, and now the claw. The claw hits AC 23. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Doing... I like that. Just a second ago, Chris was like, how are you doing?
Starting point is 00:42:35 You're like, I'm fine. Well, you know, I have the most HP out of anybody. Plus you take half of most of this damage. It does 11 points of slashing damage, but you're raging, so you take five. Okay, starting to be a little tender here. And Kazelbury once again does a harmonizing howl. All of you, well, not Mateed, must make a wisdom. Actually, not even you, Chip.
Starting point is 00:42:56 Only Barney and Elga must make wisdom saving throws. Chip becomes double frightened. 21. Eight. Eight. Oh, you are now frightened, Elga. Is this a charm? No.
Starting point is 00:43:09 Are you sure about that? So does that mean I can't attack this thing anymore? Correct. Although at the beginning of my next turn, I get to do that again. It's at the end of your turn. You might be able to attack it. So what it says is you have disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls while the source of your fear is in your line of sight.
Starting point is 00:43:25 And you cannot willingly move closer to the source of your fear. But you're already in melee attack range. So I just have disadvantage. Correct. But if you attack recklessly, you don't. It would balance out. But it would get advantage on its attacks. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:43:38 Which have been, not to try to persuade you, it's already been double your AC most of the time. It goes back to the top of the initiative order. Uyghur again begins laughing maniacally. Adjusting the levers on the rod and storm clouds once again form at the top of the dome. The hairs on your body stand on end and lightning shoots down all around you. Everyone who, well, not Mateed, everyone else. Well, hold on. You are at disadvantage because you're paralyzed on this roll.
Starting point is 00:44:06 Listen, I have three status effects. Frightened, incapacitated, and paralyzed. Why are you incapacitated? Because it says in paralyzed, a paralyzed creature is incapacitated. So then I had to check incapacitated. I love this. I'm having a great time. I love chips.
Starting point is 00:44:22 This is best. This is why you got out of the game, Chip. Make dexterity saving throws. All of us? Yeah. Except for me? Well, you roll at disadvantage. Wait, shoot.
Starting point is 00:44:32 That was a... 13? That was an ability check on a saving throw, so it's not going to count. But it was a nat 20. It counts. You can count that dice. Yeah, we'll take the die. We'll just adjust the modifier on it.
Starting point is 00:44:44 Two 20s. 24. Two nat 20s in a row? Yes. Wow. Too bad you wasted them on this. Yeah, I know. But he needed it.
Starting point is 00:44:55 He needed it. This is not a waste. Does the 13 pass? Maybe. That's a low saving throw, but a typical one. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter. So I'm going to take half damage, and half damage is still going to put me out. I'm about to die again.
Starting point is 00:45:08 But yeah, Barney will get your hit points. I think also your status effects go away if you get incapacitated. I think you're correct. I think it is. You can't have conditions while you're incapacitated. Part of my plan. Can't get me if I'm down to zero.
Starting point is 00:45:25 The lightning strikes all around, doing nine points of damage. Okay. Nine points of lightning damage to Barney and Elga. Chip, you take half because somehow you miraculously saved that and you only take four. Wait, I take that even with the 13? Yes. Well, I'm dead. Incapacitated.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Yeah. Elga drops to the ground. Weegor just cackles with glee. Elga, it's your turn. Go ahead and roll a death saving throw. Three, so I failed. Yeah, you're in the blackness, but you also hear those voices.
Starting point is 00:45:54 Definitely not ready. I need way more time. Did I tell who that was? Mm-mm. Mateed, go ahead and roll that beautiful bean footage. Copy that. I got a 12 on one of them, which is a success. All right, that's two successes. You need three I got a 12 on one of them, which is a success.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Alright, that's two successes. You need three? I need three. Stabilize. Survive! So is Barney the only one up now? Yes. Well, I'm still up, but I'm paralyzed. I'm essentially a wax figure of Chip. Speaking of, what do you want to do this turn, Chip? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:46:22 What can I do? I am frightened, incapacitated, and paralyzed. So I don't know what rolls I can even do to save. The paralyzed effect maintains. You could roll to see if you get out of your frightened state. And then what were the two? What were the effects that yours clears? Frightened and charmed?
Starting point is 00:46:39 Yeah. Frightened or charmed, or it gives temporary health. Yeah, okay. So definitely worth rolling to try and get rid of it naturally. Get rid of your fright. Yeah. Well, I can roll that first. Sure. What is that?
Starting point is 00:46:49 Oh, what, the kind of save? Yeah, your wisdom. Wisdom. It's a wisdom save you throw. Does it receive any sort of advantage or disadvantage? No. Okay. Wisdom save you throw.
Starting point is 00:46:56 Come on. Come on. Oh, that's a seven. Okay. So then do you want to use Barney's spell to remove the fear or to add? I think Barney makes that decision. Yeah. Oh.
Starting point is 00:47:08 Well, I think it's based off of your last use. No, I can do it for everybody. Yeah. Okay. What does Barney do? I know you're incapacitated, but like... Sure. And afraid.
Starting point is 00:47:17 I guess I will go for help. Okay. All right, sure. Yeah, it's all good. It's all gravy. There's no bad answers here. Yeah, it's all good. It's all gravy. There's no bad answers here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is that?
Starting point is 00:47:28 D6 plus two? Oh, yeah. It's eight. Eight temporary points. He rolled max for you. Well, I can't say it, but I... Oh, Bernie, you're doing it again. You're just talking out the front of your mouth.
Starting point is 00:47:40 He's like the Tin Man from Wizard of Oz. But you told me to freeze. That is Chip's turn, which means it's Weegor. Then after Weegor is Barney, then Kazelbury. Come at me. You're trying to taunt him? I don't know. Go at him.
Starting point is 00:48:00 I fought whippersnappers worse than you. Shoot the dog. All right. Well, Weegor pulls something out of a pocket. It looks like a little bag of some kind and tosses it in your direction, Barney. Make a strength saving throw. Oh, that's a one.
Starting point is 00:48:16 Bad rolls. Bad rolls. You're all having the bad rolls. I'm having the good rolls. Bad rolls. Talking about this. It's like a little sack of some kind gets tossed in your direction. As it hits the ground near your feet, it explodes, releasing acid all in the area. You take five points of acid damage.
Starting point is 00:48:39 How are you standing there? You standing good? Yeah, I'm fine. And you are unable to move. It's like restraining you. And, um... Oh, yeah. Uh, then, uh...
Starting point is 00:48:55 Weegor's gonna approach Chip and taunt him and pick him up and grab him. Just give him a big ol' hug and give him a little smooch on the cheek. This is awful. That's it for Weegor's turn. Can I spit? I mean, I know I can't, like, move and talk my mouth, but I can spit though, right?
Starting point is 00:49:11 Your paralyzed effect actually ends at the end of Weegor's turn. But he has you grappled now. Oh. Like I said, he embraced you and is holding you now. Okay. Perfect stabbing range. That was Weegor Barney. Alright. How's the doggy and Weegor looking? You wish they looked worse.
Starting point is 00:49:27 You really do. Okay. Barney wants to, he's going to cast Guiding Bolt on Weegor. Okay. To try and knock him out. All right. So you make a ranged spell attack against Weegor. 16. That hits. All right. Let's against Uyghur. 16.
Starting point is 00:49:45 That hits. All right. Let's see how much this does. 10. Uyghur winces in pain. I'm going to make him make a roll to see if he drops chip or not. Yeah, he rolled a four. The pain is so intense, it distracts him.
Starting point is 00:49:59 His grip on chip weakens a little bit. Chip, you're no longer grappled. I have a question. Yeah. For a bonus action, is there a way I can use a potion on anyone. Chip, you're no longer grappled. Oh, I have a question. Yeah. For a bonus action, is there a way I can use a potion on anyone? Oh, you can't move. You're restrained because of the previous attack.
Starting point is 00:50:10 Okay. You can give yourself a potion. No. I will, though, use my channel divinity thing, continue to use that on me and do another 1d6. Nice. Oh, that's six. So that's eight for me.
Starting point is 00:50:23 So I have eight now instead of nine. So that's the end of Barney's turn. That means it's Cazelprey. Oh, that's six. So that's eight for me. So I have eight now instead of nine. So that's the end of Barney's turn. That means it's Kazelbrie. Oh, great. Kazelbrie has bested all of the foes in front of him. What a good doggie. It's supposed to leave body parts for Weegor. So it can't desecrate Elgarum Atid.
Starting point is 00:50:39 Come at me. Yeah, it's going to make a beeline towards Barney because Barney's the next closest person. Kazelbrie, very quickly, much quicker than you think. Kazelbri's a rather large, I mean, huge animal, but much faster than you would expect for something of its size. And it closes the distance extremely quickly to you, Barney, and lashes out, trying to bite you.
Starting point is 00:51:00 Biting AC 19. Oh, plus eight, Gus. Really? Plus eight plus eight guys really really hit me is it because that's three heads so it's like three sets of teeth i don't know all at the same time three teeth are better than one just three teeth one individual tooth it does nine points of piercing damage all right now you must make a strength saving throw see if you got that old man strength. Are you still alive? Yeah. Okay. You just have those temporary hit points. That's when they come down. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:28 One of your actual age. Yeah. And now do a strength saving throw? Yeah. That's a one. Elga was stout and able to withstand the might of Kazelbri's bite. Well, I wouldn't say that much. Well, you didn't let it get the best of you.
Starting point is 00:51:42 The bite is so intense that, you know, like Kazelby shakes his head a little bit and throws you to the ground, knocking you prone. Well, you were already restrained. So now you're restrained and prone. Cool. And then Kazelby tries to stomp on you because you're on the ground. That's not nice.
Starting point is 00:51:58 I'll keep the old man alone. You know what they say. What do they say? Don't beat a dead cleric on the ground. Yeah, that's what they say. 23, which say? Don't beat a dead cleric on the ground. Yeah, that's the same. 23, which is most likely a hit. Yeah, it hits. Believe it or not, the only
Starting point is 00:52:12 one who's still upright is a paralyzed, scared He's not paralyzed anymore. Okay, is a scared rogue. Yeah. Against the wall, going, okay. You take 8 points of damage. Okay. Burn. You can do it. and kazelle brie howls again so who's left ship and barney both make wisdom saving throws i'm still frightened from
Starting point is 00:52:35 previous does that mean oh you don't have to then great great there he's turning up chip oh yeah i'm still very 18. oh man yeah that doesn't scare me scare me one bit. I know he wants to kill us He wants to kill us. We're not gonna let him Trace Go for the lever What? Go for the lever Yeah, yeah Wrong lever
Starting point is 00:52:56 That's Delbrie's turn speaking of levers Wegor once again begins laughing maniacally and manipulates the levers on the pylon Causing storm clouds to form in the dome the hairs on your head all stand on and make dexterity saving throws it's okay i feel barney's got this that's a nat 20. that's a nat 20 that's for 10.4 let's do it yeah wow okay you guys still take damage by the way no no maybe not with the nat 20 you take two points of lightning damage Okay Two points of light So close stupid job taking the potion All right, I'll, make your death save. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:53:45 Okay. Oh, Elga. You can do it. Oh, 16. Oh, that's good. That's the success. It's like nothing happened. Mateed, make your save.
Starting point is 00:53:56 This might be something. You have two successes, right? Yeah. Nat 20. Yes. FAB. Success. That's three successes.
Starting point is 00:54:02 And you're back with one health. Yeah, you have one health. Okay. Mateed has one hit point. Can Mateed do anything? Does a death save roll happen at the end of their turn? It just depends on when the death save roll happens. You just keep acting dead.
Starting point is 00:54:18 Honestly, Mateed would just phase through the floor and just... Start a new party. A new life. Say it. Nope. Yeah, we'll say that the roll is at the top of your turn. So Mateed has one hit point and I don't know, he's feeling spry, feeling good. So the warg has turned their back on Mateed. We'll say it's turned its back on you and it's kind of, you know, like we said, it rose up on that circle in the middle.
Starting point is 00:54:40 Like its hind legs are still on the circle and its front legs are out of the circle, like on the facing bar. Then I have a question for you, Dungeon Master. If I were to move away from the warg, would that open me up for an attack of opportunity with it not paying attention? You would not have an attack of opportunity just because it moved a little bit out of your melee range in order to try to close the distance with Bart. I'd like to go and get that stupid lever and, I don't know, snap it off, gum it up, do whatever I can do to make that thing inoperable and in the off position. I can fly 50 feet. Actually, it's not even, you could walk there. It's only about 25 feet away.
Starting point is 00:55:14 I fly! I fly! To get down to the south where Weegor is along with Chip. Can you do bird poop on him? I didn't want to explicitly say that, but I was like, whatever I can do to get this lever not to work and be in the off position. Well, there's actually three levers.
Starting point is 00:55:31 So was there one that Weegore pulled to power up Kazelbreet and has he been using a different one to get the lightning to come down? Make a wisdom check. You make a wisdom check. Yeah, you tell him. Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. You should do it, Gus. Okay. Just for fun. My wisdom's plus 20. Shut, you tell him. Yeah, tell him. Thank you. I appreciate that. You should do it, Gus. Okay. Just for fun.
Starting point is 00:55:46 My wisdom's plus 20. Shut up. Shut up. 21. Ooh, 21. Yes, you did make mental note that he appeared to use the middle lever to raise the platform and bring Kazelbri up and has been manipulating the right lever
Starting point is 00:56:00 to call lightning in. Was it Vigor powered up when that lightning turned on? He just thinks it's hilarious. Okay, okay. Not Wegor. It's Kizelbry. Kizelbry not being operated by this electricity? No, but Kizelbry was not in the room and raised up on the platform. Okay, okay. Then that's not as good as I was hoping. I was hoping that Kizelbry was being
Starting point is 00:56:15 powered by this. What's the third lever? Oh. The right one is the one that does the electricity thing. I got two hands. Can I do two of those levers and have them both off? Right? Sure, why not? We'll say you could do that.
Starting point is 00:56:28 Yeah. Plus think about Mateed's wingspan. You're a bird. Which is probably impressive. I think you think that was funnier than it actually was. Let him have it. Let him have it.
Starting point is 00:56:39 Well, yeah, because he also used wingspan. He's had a rough fight. Regular humans. Let him have this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta fly somehow, right? You pull on the middle and the right lever? Sure.
Starting point is 00:56:47 Okay, so you pull both of those levers down. Hair's on the back of your neck, it's racing. The broad seems to power down a bit. You know, there's not lightning in the air anymore. And the central metallic circle begins to lower. And since Kazelbri's hindquarters are on it, he kind of
Starting point is 00:57:03 struggles with his front paws to stay in the room, but, you know, is pulled down along with that. You ever seen like a pug try to make a jump on a couch and not make it quite? It's kind of like that. Help me, brother. Yeah. Yeah. Bye, Elga. And Barney just kicks the dog further down.
Starting point is 00:57:20 Barney's out. Bye, doggie. Weegor screams in panic. No! Yes. Is that it for you, Mateed? Okay, so that is me doing an action. You moved to get down there and then actions.
Starting point is 00:57:34 Yeah. I will say the levers are actually bonus action. So if you wanted to do another action. All right. I'm going to roll that. That's a 20. That hits. 13.
Starting point is 00:57:44 13 points of damage. Let's go. Just like our entire team is on the floor dying. And Barbara's like, let's go. What is happening? I'm so tired. Why am I going down? Weegor had 11 hit points left, and you did 13.
Starting point is 00:58:04 Weegor is down. Kazelbri has been lowered from the platform. Despite how bad that went, you guys somehow pulled it out at the end. It's only because you rolled a 20 on your death save there. So to paint a picture, it's Matit at 1 HP. So just like if you turn a picture up to 1% opacity, that's the ghost that's standing in front of you.
Starting point is 00:58:28 You know? And then you two are on the floor. You're peeing yourself in the corner frightened. I only have one HP and a little bit of temp. So like, I barely am living to.
Starting point is 00:58:42 Arms on, like a fist on the side of there, like, standing triumphantly like Peter Pan. A job well done. Are we out of combat? Yeah, you're out of combat. Everyone receives an inspiration die. And if y'all want, you can take a long rest at this point. Wow.
Starting point is 00:58:59 They already are. The longest rest. I live. Barbara's got her hands crossed over her chest like a vampire coming up out of a coffin. And then trying to keep up this charade of not being a vampire, quickly puts her hands down. I mean, I'm alive. Thank you. Breathing.
Starting point is 00:59:20 So is Wegor still conscious? Like, are we able to? No, he's unconscious. Okay. It's like when you all get knocked to zero. Like, he's in the death save mode. Should we investigate? When you get knocked down, you don't get up again.
Starting point is 00:59:31 Chumbawamba. Never gonna keep you down. Chumbawamba? Chumbawamba. Should we... We should interrogate Wegor. Yeah, if you want to do that, Matit actually wants to go and retrieve the crystal.
Starting point is 00:59:41 Well, that's a pretty little stone. It's firmly attached into the pylon, but you can take the whole thing if you want. Sure, I guess if it's not, if I can't pull it out. It's all constructed together and really holding it in there. Does Barney recognize that this pylon lever thing is the same thing that was on the blueprints? Well, I think Elga knows that.
Starting point is 00:59:59 Yeah. Oh yeah, Elga got the three blueprints. I don't know if you told anyone that. I think I did when we first walked in and I saw it. Yeah. Okay, so then in that case, yeah, Barney would know. If Barney knows anything. Nato.
Starting point is 01:00:12 And Mr. Weegon, where is he? He's just like laying on the ground. Yeah, Weegon. I want to interrogate him. No, he's Weegon now. I want to interrogate him. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:21 Let's see how this goes. I have a dagger and I stab the ground next to his head to wake him up. He doesn't wake up. Yeah. He's out. Doesn't work. Okay. He's out.
Starting point is 01:00:29 Well, I tried scaring him, but he's out cold. You got any like smelling salts in your fanny pack or something? I can burn his face. How's that sound? You know what? I'm going to take a Sharpie and draw a stupid, silly face on his face. What does it look like? He's got a silly mustache, not like mine.
Starting point is 01:00:47 Chips is a cool mustache. A little goatee patch, a black eye, and maybe stupid written across his forehead. But spelled wrong, because he's stupid. That's funny. Two O's, not a U. Oh. Got him. Can we search him?
Starting point is 01:01:00 How would Barty suggest that? Well, it seems like he might owe us an apology you'll see if it's in here yeah we gotta he's gotta pay his taxes am i right that's where i keep all my apologies in my coat pocket maybe he has everyone else's taxes in there yeah metagame wise you found his taxes no oh how much we talked it was in that uh chest that y'all found last time oh got, gotcha. Yeah, you start going through his pockets, and you find one of those little sacks that he, like, threw at you guys a couple of times.
Starting point is 01:01:31 Oh, those acid sacks? One of them was acid that he threw at... One was electric. One of them was lightning that he threw at Chip. Can I tell which... You have no idea. You could open it. No.
Starting point is 01:01:41 Can one of us keep that and use it as a little fun little mystery thing? Barney has a little... Yeah. Barney has a mystery bag. You can write it in your inventory as an abombomb. A-B-O-M space B-O-M-B. You want a bomb bomb? A bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb.
Starting point is 01:01:55 I'll take a bomb bomb, Barney. Oh, you could have a bomb bomb. I'll take a bomb bomb. Are you going to give it to Chip? Yeah. Listen, as the weakest member of the party... Weakest? I almost died.
Starting point is 01:02:07 So did everybody else. You're actually standing. I don't know. We all were kind of... Teamwork. So who's got it? Chip. Roll me a d6, Chip.
Starting point is 01:02:15 Okay. I didn't toss it at him. Three. Okay, thank you. Is there anything in the room that we could use to, like, bind Wegor? How about we just toss him down to the... Yeah, can we feed him to Kazelbury? That's dark. Kazelbury went down into the
Starting point is 01:02:29 lower recesses of the room. Sounds like we know where Wegor's going. Oh no, I accidentally kicked Wegor's body into a pit. Oops. We'll let him down gently. I mean, is that what we're doing? Nah. Okay. Should we get this back to its refer-
Starting point is 01:02:45 Oh, no. Yeah. Wait, the dragon? Dragon! We need to save Dracula. Or not Dracula. Frankenstein. Wrong one.
Starting point is 01:02:53 I'm sorry. I'm thinking of Dracula so much. I miss him so much. I assume you're taking the rod back down to Muscatin to reunite with the alchemist? Yes. High fives all around, team. We were not supposed to win that. We did it.
Starting point is 01:03:06 We pulled it out. Hey, good for all of you. I'm so proud. Barney, great job. MVP, you did it. Well, I went and took a nap. But you saved us with that Tempe Chibi, though. So where the team is heading down the stairs?
Starting point is 01:03:19 Yeah. When we were leaving the room, was that center place still open? Yeah, it was, yeah. We get to the first floor, and the dog is just waiting for us. Boss fight reinitiates. As the team is leaving and heading down the stairs, Matit actually does want to go back and push Uyghur into the middle.
Starting point is 01:03:34 Okay. But out of the sight of the three of them. Sure. Everyone begins going downstairs and Matit does a little sneaky. Yeah. You guys make your way back to Maskatin and run into the alchemist. Oh, you're back. I've accomplished so much while you've been gone.
Starting point is 01:03:51 What did you accomplish? I've replenished my alchemical supplies and can provide each of you with an experimental elixir. Does it level us up? Because I think we need it. What is this experimental elixir? I'm not entirely sure. It can have a variety of positive effects.
Starting point is 01:04:10 Oh. Okay. Bunny, take your medicine. Elga, roll me a D6. You got it. A two. Your elixir is an elixir of swiftness. Ooh.
Starting point is 01:04:21 It'll increase your walking speed by 10 feet for one hour. Wow. Look at her power walk. And is taking an elixir a bonus action? Yeah, sure. Are we all rolling D6s? Yeah, I was going to go around. Blaine rolled me one. Okay, here we go. That's a one. You got an elixir of healing.
Starting point is 01:04:38 Oh, lucky. What does that do? You'll regain 2d4 plus 3 hit points. Yeah, I'll take it. Let's see what you get. Cat. Look at it. Four. Ooh, Elixir of Boldness.
Starting point is 01:04:51 You can roll a d4 and add that number to every attack roll and saving throw for the next minute. Oh, dang. That's not bad. That's pretty good because that's like 10 rounds. I'm a fan of that. And Barney. Three? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:04 That's an Elixir of Resilience. You get a plus one bonus to AC for 10 rounds. I'm a fan of that. And Barney. Three? Oh, yeah. That's an elixir of resilience. You get a plus one bonus to AC for 10 minutes. An excellent work. I see you've retrieved what appears to be the crystal. It was easy. No, it was hard work. I'm pretty sure Barney pooped himself. He's just not admitting it to the rest of the team.
Starting point is 01:05:21 He did it really close to me, so that's why the smell is really close to me. Yeah, yeah. Definitely not me. Well, I feel like we must make haste with the time limit that was given to us by Skelegon. Oh, that's right. We're on time. How are, like, long rest? How does that work? I wouldn't ask questions about it. Wait, what do you mean?
Starting point is 01:05:38 We took a long rest. We had 24 hours to get to the... Oh, yeah, yeah. It's, uh, time moves slower in the windmule because of the lightning. Oh, we should explore that more. It's time moves slower in the windmule because of the lightning. Oh, we should explore that more. Let's go back. Quickly, let's head out the eastern gate to get to the snarelands. Luckily, I've also had the opportunity to procure five steeders for us to travel quickly.
Starting point is 01:05:55 Steeders? What are steeders? You aren't familiar with giant steeders? No. The giant spiders you can ride? Oh, spooky. Mateed loves the idea. You all head to the eastern gate of Maskedton,
Starting point is 01:06:10 which I think you all actually didn't investigate before. And waiting outside the gate are five steeders, one for each of you and one for the alchemist. I name mine Obi. Obi? Yeah. Roll an animal handling check to see how good you are at getting on Obi. And all of you actually roll animal handling checks. Uh-oh. It's a zero. Eleven.
Starting point is 01:06:28 Wait, what? Four for Elga. Fourteen. She's a little afraid. I guess Matide is the only one who approaches their steeder with confidence and the steeder acquiesces and allows Matide to mount with no problem. The other three of you, I don't know, the steeders
Starting point is 01:06:43 have like steeder sense about your trepidation. Their Steeder sense is tingling. And as you all are trying to mount, the three of you get bucked off and kicked. Each of you takes a hug. A life lesson learned. A life lesson learned and two points of bludgeoning damage. Am I still raging?
Starting point is 01:07:02 No, but you figure it out after that and you're able to get on your steeder no problem. You know, there's signs out there that said, beware, trail to snare lands.
Starting point is 01:07:11 You all need to travel to get to the snare lands but you need to get there safely. So we need everyone to do a survival check, kind of like a group check. However, that being said,
Starting point is 01:07:20 Chip, you have an advantage on this check. Why? Because you have the map and you're able to read Thieves' Cant. Oh!
Starting point is 01:07:29 Well, shoot. 20 minus 1. 19! Sorry, guys. I rolled a nat 1 for a 5. You both rolled a 1? Well, it came out to a 4. Is it worth my inspiration die? Maybe since we had two 1s. Well, you guys also
Starting point is 01:07:44 rolled really well, so maybe it balances out to make us nice and even. I don't know. Two ones is a pretty big dinger. I'll use it. Don't, don't. I'll tell you. It's successful. I'll let you save it.
Starting point is 01:07:54 I rolled an 18. You all are able to navigate the way. Chip really pitching in there, really pinch hitting. Follow me, gang. I know what I'm doing. Elga's just getting motion sickness on the steeder. Barney's facing the wrong direction.
Starting point is 01:08:08 It probably lets me motion sickness and we're just constant like rumbling because of the eight legs constantly going. You know, you kind of go through this passageway into the side of the mountain that kind of leads you through the trail to get to the snare lands. And as you are going through,
Starting point is 01:08:21 the smell of fresh air begins to fill the tunnel before you. You press on and eventually find an exit out of the trail. It's difficult to know exactly how long it took to traverse this passageway, but it wouldn't be a stretch to say the better part of the night. The starless night sky is blanketed with clouds overhead. The air is thick with a smoggy haze, and the ground is dried and cracked. Every now and then you hear a pop nearby, like some kind of bubble bursting. I'm afraid I have no experience with the snarelands,
Starting point is 01:08:47 only tall tales. Do any of you? Let me think. Yeah. I love Barney's. Even if Barney doesn't know, like Barney's willingness to jump in. He might be in there somewhere.
Starting point is 01:08:58 I don't know, but I'm going to try. Can I think on it? Do a history? Make a wisdom check, Barney. It's 18. You don't think you remember anything about the Snarelands from your past? Well, I can't be sure, but I imagine it will be dawn soon. We should probably dismount and tie our steeders up near the cave.
Starting point is 01:09:14 If they were to get spooked in this haze, we would be left to walk all the way back to Masked Headland. The alchemist dismounts, but then stops abruptly. I can't move? Oh no. A muddy bubble bursts from the ground below you all, filling the air with a sickening stench. The ground shifts and you feel the foul dirt swallowing you into the earth. This is Stinking Sand. Find out what Stinking Sand is on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
Starting point is 01:09:52 Tales from the Stinky Sand. This was a fun one, guys. Good job. We almost died again. Don't forget to give us a follow on social media, StinkyDragonPod. And we'll be back next week with another episode. We'll see you at RTX.
Starting point is 01:10:03 Yeah. And I think we have some maybe new merch out. Oh, yeah. Actually, that's actually one good thing to entice. We have some fun merch coming out soon
Starting point is 01:10:12 that you're going to want to get your hands on as soon as possible. We'll give you more information soon about it, but it's not a piece of apparel. It's something a little more fun than that.
Starting point is 01:10:21 It's a knife! All right. Bye. This episode of Test of the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger with additional editing work by David Saunier. Here's a quick shout out to folks
Starting point is 01:10:33 that interact with us on social media. Recently, I hear some NPCs named after them in this episode. Cass the Warg, named after at ProfMadScientist on Instagram. Elora the Warg, named after user Elorasaurus on Reddit. And Brindley the Warg, named after user Elorasaurus on Reddit, and Brindley the Warg, named after
Starting point is 01:10:47 at mbrindley13 on Twitter. All three names combined to make Cassellbury the Three-Headed Warg. You knew that. Also want to give a special thanks to some friends who provided VO for characters in this episode, The Alchemist, voiced by BlizzBear, at BlizzBear, and Weegor the Hunchback Henchman, voiced by Jack Patillo, at Jack underscore P. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode
Starting point is 01:11:04 of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

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