Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Menace of Maschatten - C02 Ep 10 - Smell the Fresh Snare
Episode Date: July 5, 2023The party travels through the snarelands to search for Frankenstein and Skelegonne. Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDrago...n Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This is a Rooster Teeth production.
Good evening, all you assassins.
Sneak attack into the stinky dragon, throw back our latest thirst quencher.
Wait, where did you come from?
No, please don't!
I'm okay.
Okay.
I'm okay.
What happened?
That actually wasn't in the script.
Gus just got attacked by the studio.
Previously, our adventurers reached the top of the windmule
and wound up face-to-face-to-face-to-face
with a giant three-headed warg and a vengeful Uyghur.
After a harrowing hunchback hashout,
the party escaped the tower with Crystal in tow. Next, they scrambled up some steeders,
trekked through tunneling terrain, and arrived at the smoggy snarelands.
Cobble up a cup of coffee and let's continue this Kransidosius Chronicle.
Chronicle.
Crunchy, is that how you say it, Micah?
What is that word?
It's not a real word.
Okay.
I knew it. What?
You're throwing fake words?
It's a fake word from Micah.
Thank you, Micah.
Hello, everyone.
Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
My name is Gustavo Sorolla.
I'm your Dungeon Master, and I'm joined by our four players who are...
Barbara Dunkelman master and I'm joined by our four players who are Barbara Dunkelman and I play
Blaine Gibson and I am playing Chip Haney a tiefling rogue or does he possess me who's playing
who I don't know anymore and And I play Chris Damaris.
You're playing Chris Damaris?
Every day.
Who's being controlled by
Farnie the human
cleric.
My name is John Rice
and I play Matide Confucius
who is an Aarakocran monk
ghost. And there is a weird
energy in here today.
I'm going to take a sleepover.
I'm going to shoot you guys down with an arrow right now.
We got a list of 100 questions that were submitted online via the Stinky Dragon subreddit, Discord,
and some written by our writer, Micah Reisinger.
So this question is submitted by Micah.
What does your character want to be remembered for?
Great question, little Micah.
Wherever you might be, little boy.
for a great question little micah um wherever you might be little boy i like to picture little mike writing in
what does our character want to be remembered for yeah what will your character's legacy be
chip has had a a history of being an assassin but he doesn't want that as his legacy. I think his, his love for Carol.
Yeah.
Maybe a family who knows,
but he just wants to be remembered for being a good husband and he lost his
wife.
So he's off to a bad start.
Did we ever clarify how long were Chip and Carol married for?
Who's to say?
Okay.
I actually,
I don't know.
No,
no.
Just curious.
Time flies when you're having
fun yes is that why uh chip and elga have such like a sweet relationship because like it's like
father daughter like the daughter he never had i feel like it yeah yeah that's mostly because
you both like to steal money and you don't know that she keeps my secrets i keep hers
i don't think elga really cares to be remembered for anything.
She's already lived so long that it's like she kind of realizes that life is somewhat meaningless.
Elga needs her victims not to remember her.
That's what she needs to not be remembered as someone who goes around sucking the blood out of everybody she meets.
Imagine whenever Elga meets someone that she turned into a vampire.
It's like running into an ex.
It's awkward.
I think like maybe nowadays
with this team, she has a little bit more
purpose, but I don't really think
that she has a legacy
of an ex-wife. I like that. What'd you say, Barney?
Barney, he wants to be
remembered. Barney wants to
be remembered.
I'm staring at Chris and he just went,
his face just went neutral
I was like
just the sound of white noise
was facing you
he just wants to be remembered
yeah
but also
he wants
to be remembered
for finishing
his legacy
his great quest
which is
he still has found it
he's still trying to remember it
he's a U2 song
I was really hoping
you were going to say
Barney just wants to remember.
He just doesn't have good memory.
Mati wants to just simply be remembered for accomplishing the perfect croissant.
Oh, oui, oui.
Which I am still seeking the perfect recipe.
So actually creating the perfect croissant,
not like creating your own signature pastry yourself.
No, no, no.
Just the perfect of that item.
That's a good goal.
You know, you kind of go through this passageway
into the side of the mountain
that kind of leads you through the trail
to get to the snare lands.
And as you are going through,
the smell of fresh air begins to fill the tunnel before you.
You press on and eventually find an exit out of the trail.
It's difficult to know exactly how long it took to traverse this passageway,
but it wouldn't be a stretch to say the better part of the night.
The starless night sky is blanketed with clouds overhead.
The air is thick with a smoggy haze and the ground is dried and cracked.
Every now and then you hear a pop nearby, like some kind of bubble bursting.
I'm afraid I have no experience with the Snail Ends, only tall tales.
Well, I can't be sure, but I imagine it will be dawn soon.
We should probably dismount and tie our steeders up near the cave.
If they were to get spooked in this heist, we would be left to walk all the way back
to Masked Headland.
The alchemist dismounts, but then stops abruptly.
I can't move.
Oh no.
A muddy bubble bursts from the ground below you all,
filling the air with a sickening stench.
The ground shifts and you feel the foul dirt
swallowing you into the earth.
What?
This is stinking sand.
Gasp.
And...
As a kid, one of your core fears
you're taught to have through media
is the eventuality of you finding quicksand and dying there.
No, no, your horse getting stuck in it.
Well, both.
Atreyu!
But Atreyus.
Atreyu?
Atreyus.
Atreyus.
Atreyus is the band that was, shoot.
But it was the biggest shock to find out it's not a thing.
Yeah.
It seemed like it's something you had to know about.
Yeah.
Well, it's a thing.
It's just it's very uncommon to come across.
Is that the case?
I thought it was like it's not even like a thing.
I think it is a thing.
Okay.
Um, a little help, friends?
Oh.
Only he's in it?
So the alchemist is the only one standing in it.
All of you, your steeders are in it.
So are the steeders sinking?
Yes.
Oh, no. Obi, no. This isn't combat or anything, your steeders are in it. So are the steeders sinking? Yes. Oh no.
Obi, no. This isn't combat or anything,
but I would like to roll initiative. Good call.
Just to kind of like keep track of everyone and how this is all going to go. Six.
Thirteen. I rolled a one.
Eighteen. And this
sinking sand?
Well, like what is the consistency
of it? Is it like wet? I feel like
it's just sinking sand or whatever.
Quicksand.
Like aromatics quicksand.
Correct.
Yeah, it's just like a sand, but it smells bad.
Mateed, you had an 18.
You go first.
What do you want to do?
Mateed's a little bothered to have to, like, save this walking person.
At this point, you've sank about two feet into the ground.
Or your steed has sunk about two feet in.
Okay, well, I fly up in the sky.
Okay. Later! two feet into the ground or your steed has sunk about two feet okay well i fly up in the sky okay later and i guess i go for i think mati would actually go and get elga off of her spider
steeder steeder what's my carrying capacity flying it would probably be the same as your typical
carrying capacity because it's based on your strength. Your strength is a 17. Oh, strength. How do I calculate that?
So normally this is dealing with encumbrance, right?
So with a strength score of 17,
a medium load for you is between 87 to 173 pounds.
174 to 260 is heavy.
Okay.
And you're saying that I can, what, carry a medium load?
Yeah, because I would say you wouldn't probably be able
to fly very well with a heavy load.
Yeah, and the alchemist is like a larger fellow.
I mean, it's a human.
We'll say that he fits in that 87 to 173 range.
Let's still go for Elga.
Okay.
I'm not attached to this alchemist.
I'm 75 pounds.
Yeah.
So you're good.
Yeah.
So yeah, I pick up Elga and Elga and I are...
Well, you have to actually make a strength check to try to pull Elga out.
So roll a strength check for me, please.
Oh, man.
11.
It's a real struggle, but you do manage to pull Elga out.
Mateed and Elga are off on their adventure now.
Goodbye, everybody.
Avenge me.
Elga's steeder is still sinking in, as is Mateed's.
I know we need these steeders because we don't want to walk back.
I mean, that's subjective, right?
It's up to you guys.
I have a feeling we're going to be left without our steeders. I'm so attached to them. I don't need these steeders because we don't want to walk back. I mean, that's subjective, right? It's up to you guys. I have a feeling we're
going to be left without our steeders. I'm so attached to them.
I don't know how to save a steeder. I can just save a
small girl. Is that all for you, Matide?
Yeah. Okay, Elga, what do you want to do?
So, Alchemist is
on the ground being sunken in. Oh,
yeah, let's see how far the Alchemist is sunken.
I thought you already did that. No.
Oh, the Alchemist is four feet in. That's a
three. Yeah, but it's plus one. How tall is the Alchemist? He's actually nine feet tall. I thought you already did that. No. Oh, the alchemist is four feet in. That's a three. Yeah, but it's plus one.
How tall is the alchemist? He's actually
nine feet tall. I guess we never mentioned it.
We'll say like five
ten, five nine, somewhere in there. What a short king.
Am I right?
So I'm currently
in Mateed's arms up in the sky.
Talon's. Talon. Did Mateed say they
put Elga down? No, just up in the sky.
Okay, yeah. Just up in the sky. Res. Okay. Yeah. You're up in the sky.
Drone.
Rescues down under style.
How would it work if I threw a rope down?
Cause I like, I could probably lift him up.
That's not how physics works.
I know, but it's not how physics works cause Matisse's holding me.
You could throw a rope down and someone could grab it.
Then if Matisse dropped you off somewhere, you could try to like pull them.
Yeah. Maybe Matide should be dropping
me. But we're doing helicopter
like evac style right now, and you're dropping
a ladder. Drone strike ready. But then you'd have to
carry both of us. No, I'm saying, yeah, but to get
them to have the rope, and then we can land.
Okay. Matide, do you think
I should go for the alchemist
or for one of our compatriots?
I'm just yelling it into your ear directly
as you're holding me.
Yeah, sounds like a plan to me.
I said that there's two options.
Oh, sorry.
Maybe Matisse couldn't hear you.
Well, considering that the Alchemist
is like off his steed
and in the sand,
I'll go for the Alchemist.
Yeah, probably smart.
So could I drop a rope down to him?
Just because I want to be
a little difficult today,
I'm going to make him make
like a dexterity check
to see if he grabs it.
Oh, he rolled a two. Let's see, what's make like a dexterity check to see if he grabs it.
Oh, he rolled a two.
Let's see.
What's his modifier?
Maybe you need this guy anymore.
You drop it.
Maybe he's panicking, but he can't quite seem to get a grip on the rope.
It's like that when that panic sets in and you're like frantically trying to grab something,
but not really making any progress.
Could I tell how like what the area of the stinking sand is from where I am?
You can make like a perception check if you want. Okay. I will too
because I'm looking. Only a 10.
Don't worry. I'll
roll a 23.
Excellent. Nat 20.
I'll say since you both were in it at this
point, you can kind of roughly make
out the edge of where it is.
And you would definitely have to if you were setting down
Elga outside of it. So yeah, you both can see
the edge of it.
Is he close to the edge?
Like to a point I could reach him?
Yeah, he's really close to the edge.
Let's say within like,
I don't know, two or three feet.
Matide, if you drop me
near the edge,
near the alchemist,
I could maybe use
one of my tools to pull him.
Like my axe or something.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, Matide just gives a nod
and swoops down
and drops the Elga off
at the edge of it.
But then could I go back to, like, being up above everything?
What's he having a movement?
I'm going to do that.
I have a javelin.
Okay.
Could I use that to kind of reach out to him and try to pull him?
Oh, I thought you were going to off him
and, like, put him out of his misery, just, like, in the neck.
This is a better death.
So dark.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sure, why not?
You reach it out there.
I'm going to make him make a dexterity check again
because I set the precedent by doing that earlier.
We don't have to catch anything.
He's got to grab it, though.
No, she's aiming to impale him.
What are you rolling?
He rolled a two again.
That's not fair.
I'm right there.
Yeah, he's just panicking.
He's four feet in.
He can't get a grip on it.
Can I reach him?
Like reach out?
Like with my hand? How tall are you? You're small. I'm very small. He's four feet in. He can't get a grip on it. Could I reach him? Like reach out? Like with my hand?
How tall are you?
You're small.
I'm very small. I'm four foot seven.
Someone who's listening to this and they're four foot six, they're like, wow, what the heck?
Say, sure, why not?
We'll say make a strength check.
With frustration, let's say you just reach out and try to grab him by his cloak.
Gosh, dang it. It's only on the 11.
I'm a little low today.
It's all right.
You managed to grab him, but he just sunk in a little too much for you to be able to pull him out.
Well, that's probably all I can do at this point.
Yeah, I would say at that point, your actions are probably pretty much up.
Barney, are you casting Toll the Dead?
No.
That was an accident.
What's everyone's level at right now?
I'm in the sky.
Elga's on the edge.
I'm right by the edge near the alchemist.
Yeah, so it's you three, essentially.
And then you two are in Cedars.
And then you two are four feet deep? Correct. Oh, wait. I got to see how deep you are, Barney. Okay, so it's you three, essentially. And then you two are in Cedars. Four feet deep?
Correct.
Oh, wait, I got to see how deep you are, Barney.
Okay.
Don't worry about me, Barney.
Well, his Cedar, not him, right?
Right.
Your Cedar has sunk three feet in.
And how big is this Cedar?
Yeah, there's like a pretty big spider.
I mean, you're able to ride them as mounts, so they're a good size.
And the alchemist is four feet in.
And how far away is like the safe area from us?
You're about four feet from the edge.
Oh, wait, actually, you have to roll a perception check to see if you can tell where the edge of it is.
Because you don't know necessarily.
19.
You're pretty sure you're about four feet from safety.
Man, I don't have any rope.
So the steed, is there something attached to it that's like longer than that distance that I can hold on to and try and jump across?
So I could still hold on to my steed.
Something on the steeder?
Yeah, like the saddle or like a rope tied to it, you know?
Like what's the thing that you like?
Reins?
Reins.
Yeah, but those typically aren't very long, you know?
They just have to go from like the bridle to your hands.
So how long is it if it was from one end to the other?
It would probably be roughly 18 inches for one, and then you double it? If it was from one end to the other? It would probably be roughly
18 inches for one, and then you double
it to go into the other one. So if it's one
big loop, we'll say it's about three feet. Dang.
Well, can I hop the four feet? Like, get up
on top of the steeder, like on the saddle,
balance on it standing, and then try to make a four-foot
jump? Yeah, sure, why not?
It's D&D. You can try to do whatever you want. Okay, I'm gonna
try and hop. I'm gonna try and hop!
So you stand up on top of the steed,
or first of all, just make a dexterity check
to see if you can hold your balance while standing on it.
Mateed is watching with, like, eager anticipation
to see how this turns out.
After seeing Barney jump out of a window,
Mateed is very curious about this old man.
Yeah, maybe you forgot.
Maybe in your past you've done this before, Barney.
Have you ever stood on a mount like this?
I don't recall.
You got a background in rodeo?
I don't recall.
You're pretty good at it, so maybe you have at some point.
You're able to easily maintain your balance while standing on the saddle.
Go ahead and make it a athletics check
to make this jump that was a six i guess i could use my inspiration die so just so you know the
rules for like a standing long jump like this is typically if you like do a running jump you can
move a number of feet up to your strength score. However, if you do a standing long jump, you can only leap half that distance.
So your strength score is 15.
So you can do a standing long jump of like seven or eight feet.
So you'd be able to do it.
You just got to make an athletics check.
Yeah, I did.
I rolled a six.
Now, are you happy with that?
Well, you know, I think a four foot jump shouldn't be that hard because I'm already stabilized.
So it's just a four foot jump.
Let's do a four-foot jump
Right yeah, but also six count. Hello. Yeah, no no you're fine. Really? Yeah, yeah
Really John you're not you're not messing. You're smiling. No, okay
Yeah, he's just pleasant today. John's never pleasant. That's what I was saying today. There's a first time for everything.
I like this version of Chris.
I like this.
Do you really think like a four foot standing jump is no big deal, Chris?
From a height?
Mind you, Barney's carrying 98 pounds.
All right, I'll use my inspiration die.
Dang it, Gus.
You're wearing chain mail if I remember right. I'm using my, I use my inspiration die.
Here it comes.
Come on.
Low roll. Low roll. Let's go it comes. Come on. Low roll.
Low roll.
Let's go, baby.
Come on.
Come on.
Give me two.
Two.
Nine.
Hey, that's more than six.
Correct.
Okay.
You stabilize yourself and very confidently take a leap towards safety.
But you fall just short and you're still in the stinking sand.
You're closer to the edge than you were before.
You hit the sand and you sink two feet in. Go marbles. How close am I to the alchemist now in the stinking sand. You're closer to the edge than you were before. You hit the sand and you sink two feet in.
Go marbles.
How close am I to the alchemist now in the sand?
Are we near each other?
The alchemist is a little closer to safety than you are.
But yeah, you're within arm's reach of each other.
I want to try something.
I don't know if this would work.
Can I create water underneath us to push us up?
Like float us up?
Would that like loosen the sand?
Make a nature check. Nah, water always makes
sand more sturdy. Well, it might like
make it less sticky. That's an eight.
It's, by the way, it's stinking sand.
Not sticky sand, just for clarity.
So you made an eight? Yeah, you think
if you make some water under yourself, you'd be able to like
tread it and swim through it a little easier?
I don't believe you.
Oh, God.
That's not a lie You know what
Because it's just the right mix of wet and dry
That makes it stick
I feel like you're just not staying in character
And you're making too many Chris decisions
And you're making Barney decisions
Okay
This is all about staying in character
Alright
Barney can't sleep
On himself I think I've gone and fumbled up in character. Alright. Barney can't sleep.
On himself?
I think I've gone and fumbled up.
You guys are gonna have to save me.
Trust us. Grab hold
of my blanket. What?
What? Or I guess I could use my
walker. That's within close enough. If I fling
my walker forward, is that something that me
and the alchemist could both hold on to?
And maybe like whack it into
the sand in front of me, and
then pull down and
forward, so you kind of pull yourself up with it. Wouldn't your
thing just sink itself? He's on the edge.
I'm on the edge, so if I stuck it into the good stuff,
like into, say there's a tree root
or something, I could wet it, you know, and then pull.
And with alchemist's
help. I like watching Gus while Chris does this
because I like to watch him.
He is desperately, like, gears are grinding to figure out what to do.
Also, when Gus said that the water would help you get out,
he shook his head behind your back.
Chris is the only one who cannot see my face.
I looked at Blaine and John and just gave them a no.
All right.
He uses his walker to slam into the ground and pull his chain mailed body out.
What happens, Gus?
Stop making puddles over there.
I do have a side question that will somewhat influence this.
Is your walker a weapon?
I don't remember.
It is my weapon.
It's his weapon.
So it does have like spikes on the end or something, right?
I think in the art that we have.
Yeah, it's like morning stars.
But isn't it covered in like little tennis balls?
No. Make an attack with your in like little tennis balls? No.
Make an attack with your walker.
He attacks the ground.
16.
With a 16.
The ground's never saw that coming.
What's the ground's AC?
The ground's AC is, ooh, 17.
Oh!
Yeah, you're able to strike out and hit solid ground with your walker.
Start to try to pull yourself in.
Make a strength check to see
if you can pull yourself. Fourteen.
Since you aren't that far and you aren't that
deep in the sand either, you're able
to pull yourself to safety. Elga
sees this happening. She goes, oh, so that is
what old man's strength is.
And is it in such a
place where the alchemist can also grab it?
I don't think so. That seems like that would be
weird for two people to try to grab it like that.
I feel like that mechanically wouldn't work.
Okay.
Maybe you could try to reach for him.
Normally it's a walker.
Now it's a crawler.
Get out of here.
Party making little jokes.
Get out of here.
All right, Chip.
Party's out?
Yeah.
Everybody's out, but the alchemist.
Okay.
How far am I from the alchemist and how far is the alchemist from land? The alchemist is only a foot or two from the side. You from the alchemist. Okay. How far am I from the alchemist and how far is the alchemist from land?
The alchemist is only a foot or two from the side.
You from the alchemist, you're maybe like another four feet away from the alchemist.
I give Obi a pat on the head and say, have fun in spider heaven.
And then I forgot you named yours.
Yeah.
We were really connected.
After King Obi, the true king.
That's right.
His alternate name was Peter the Steeder.
That's good, too.
Thank you.
I jump off of Obi, and then I use the alchemist's head as a stepping stone.
Oh, no!
I jump onto safety land.
You're probably going to sink him down deeper.
He'll be fine.
Plot armor!
Come on, Elga!
Make a... I assume you have to stand on your steed, so you need to make a dexterity check like Barney did. Okay. 16. Plot armor. Come on, Elga. Make a...
I assume you have to stand on your steed
so you can make a dexterity check like Barney did.
Okay.
16.
16, yeah.
You're able to balance yourself fine on the steed
and make an athletics check
to see if you're able to make the jump.
Oh, his poor head.
And how are you?
15.
You're able to jump and land on the alchemist's head,
pushing him down further another he's gonna be under four
feet so that means he's what two feet into the sand he pushes him but then like jumps off so
you have to make a second athletics check for your second jump you probably could have made the jump
without jumping on his head yeah but where's the fun in that elga all right and then my other
athletics check oh that's a 19 oh yeah, yeah, you land, no problem.
Good cushy platform to jump off of.
You land with a flourish on the solid ground.
So is Alchemist fully under the sand?
Yeah.
Barney looks down.
We all made it.
I have a hempen rope, 50 feet of it.
How else are you going to grab it?
I'm looking for, like, is there a tree branch or trees or
I'm just trying to find any sort of
like large, like a spear
or something. Didn't somebody have a spear?
Javelin. Elga's got a javelin in her hand.
Hey Elga, can I borrow that
there javelin from you? What are we gonna do with it?
I'm going to put rope on
it and then submerge, not
pointy side, down into
the stinking sand and
save the alchemist. But you don't know where he is. Maybe
you're gonna stab him in the eye. He's one feet
away from me and the pokey
end is gonna go towards me. Okay.
Okay.
Can I take her javelin? First we need
to make a blood pact before you take it.
Okay.
Wait, with Chip?
Yes. Okay.
Do I- okay-
Prick your finger with the end of my javelin and place your finger in my mouth.
I will-
That is the blood pact from my place of origin.
The subtlety is going out the window.
Can I prick the palm of my hand and you just give like a- like a face mush?
Yes.
Okay, that sounds less awkward. There you go!
Ow! like a face mush? Yes. Okay, that sounds less awkward. There you go.
Blood pact has been received. Thank you for your
service. Don't you have to do the same in return,
Elga? No.
Wait, does not the pact,
you know... Well, it's because it belongs to
me, so it's like you're borrowing it, so
in exchange, I take a little of your blood.
Okay, like a down payment.
Okay, alright. A blood down payment, yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
Okay, there.
There's interest on it as well if you don't return it.
I hate banks.
All right, I want to take the javelin.
I want to, on the pointy end, I want that facing me,
and that's where I want to, like, use the spear's head
as kind of like a place that I could, like, put the knot, right?
Gotcha.
So that it doesn't like slip off gotcha
Honestly the the javelin might be long enough
I might not even need the rope but I go ahead and tie it on just for safety reasons sure you don't to pay that
interest or that lost javelin
It's very valuable javelin. You know Elga values it deeply you might have to pay like a pint or two
Okay, well don't do that
That's nice
So I take the javelin and then I just start poking around with the dull
Lumpy and I how far does he push him down further by pushing down on with a javelin man?
What kind of check is that make a?
Perception check because you're trying to see if you paid attention to where he was when you killed him
On your first attempt you stick the javelin pretty close to the alchemist.
Please grab this.
Okay, finally, he has a good roll.
He's able to grab on to the javelin.
You feel like resistance on it.
Okay, and then I just start lifting him out.
Yeah, make a strength check.
Can I help?
Sure.
Appreciate it, Barney.
All right, strength check.
That's a six.
Plus.
Barney, help!
Plus eight.
Shoots me.
There's so much sand
on top of the alchemist. Maybe it's making
him super heavy. Give it another yank.
Okay. I'll give you that. How about this?
Heave ho! Mateed notices
that the sad little mortals on the ground are having
a hard time and swoops
down and, like, feet on
Chip's shoulder, just starts pulling with, like,
a big ol' swoop. Ah, more blood
drawn! Yay!
I rolled a 14 just now.
Good, you roll a strength check as well, Mateed.
I'm bleeding from my palm, bleeding from my shoulders. Is Barney able to...
Sure. 22.
Nat 20. Wow.
Yeah, the three of you really try
and this time it's almost like too much effort.
You know, you stumble a bit
because it's so easy to pull the alchemist out.
You pull him out from the stinking sand
and you see he's got the javelin firmly in his mouth.
In his grip.
In his mouth.
That's exactly what we were going to say.
He was biting onto the javelin.
You pull him out.
I thought you were going to say firmly in his left shoulder.
I walk over to Al.
Oh, we thought we lost you there, Al.
Give him a couple of pats on the back to get that stinking sand out of his mouth.
Yeah, as you pat him on the back, like sand is coming out of his nose and his mouth, which was open.
Is this guy a werewolf?
I don't think you all have talked about that, but you don't have any reason to suspect that.
Why do you think he's a werewolf?
It's just he grabbed it with his mouth, kind of like a dog would.
I think that was just funny.
While they're doing that.
Got my eye on you.
Where are the spiders at?
Steeders.
Steeders.
They're steeders.
Barney, they're in the great web in the sky.
Do they react to stuff?
Can they like, if I toss my blanket, would it be able to grab it or something?
Like, what do you mean?
Like with its mouth.
Like.
Oh, oh, oh.
I thought you meant like with its legs.
With its thumbs.
Like.
Yeah, spider thumbs.
Uh, sure.
Yeah.
Why not?
Grab hold of my blanket. Make a dexterity check. Yeah, spider thumbs. Sure, yeah, why not? Grab hold of my blanket.
Make a dexterity check, yeah.
Why not?
It's a nine.
You toss it out there, but as your blanket gets close,
the steedr sinks a little more and the blanket falls just short.
It would have caught it, but it sank just at the wrong moment.
At that point, we'll say all the steedr's begin slowly dipping
beneath the surface of the stinking sand.
I salute you, Obi.
You are the best strider I've ever had.
They all raise four arms and shake four angry fists each other.
Artex! Artex!
I salute you.
Obi gives you a thumbs up as it sinks slowly below the stinking sand.
Thumbs up or if it's something else.
I have a thumbs.
A Terminator reference.
Oh, gosh.
Well, they've gone on to a better place.
Yeah.
Underground.
What does the alchemist smell like?
Sulfur.
Rotten eggs.
Yucky, yucky, yucky.
Do we all smell like that since we all, I guess, were in it?
Yeah.
None of you as bad as the alchemist since he was fully submerged.
Hey, alchemist, you should have
just gotten out of that there stinking
sand. I don't know what you're doing goofing around. It's not
a kiddie pool.
Gosh.
Mateed would like to
actually stay above ground
and just kind of flying a little bit
high in the sky so that we don't
walk into more stinking sand. Mateed just doesn't
want to walk in more sand. Barney, look around and see what's around.
Around this stinking sand, there's kind of like a forest and some trees.
And you realize, like, as you look to the north,
it's almost like the land starts to turn into a bog.
Like, there's stagnant water, and the land kind of begins to narrow to a point.
And now kind of to the northeast, you see, like, a small wall.
Do you guys want to head to that there wall?
It's a man-made
structure. Is it a man-made
wall structure?
Maybe before we start venturing on,
maybe Matit should do some, like,
looking ahead to see if there's any other pockets
of stinking sand. Reconiscience!
Reconiscience is the one.
Yeah.
Mati does just some circling around just to make sure there's nothing of a...
Looks like the stinking sand.
Make a perception check.
Love to.
17.
Here in the immediate area, you don't see any more stinking sand.
Now that you have kind of an aerial view, you see that, you know, you're really beginning to enter like a pretty serious bog. Like there's lots of areas that you have to kind of wade through water to get across
and like little bits of dry land between them,
pocketed with trees, small islands, and various other small walls built in the distance.
But does anything look like a structure worth heading to?
Nothing stands out particularly.
So are these walls just like kind of like the edge of a town type wall, like a border?
They look like
old relics. Ruins. Yeah.
I wonder, because we're heading
towards the snare lands. We're
in the snare lands? Correct. I wonder
if like maybe the people who live
here live like not in typical
structures? What he's saying is like ruins
like not an actual like enclosed structure.
Correct. It's just like one wall.
Mr. Owl, do you recall where the dragon said he lived?
Dragon? Or where we should be heading?
Or know of any places where Skelegon might live?
Maybe a place where you could get a burger?
We should continue to the northeast,
past this bog to find our destination.
Maybe we should create a bit of a mountaineering rope tether
so if one of us falls in, we can all pull the other out.
We all fall in.
I was going to say, if one of us falls in, we all fall in.
So, Elka had rope?
I had rope.
I think a bunch of us have rope.
Okay.
Yeah.
You guys going to do that?
Um, no.
Barney, if it makes you feel safe,
I'll tie a rope around you and then tie one around me.
All right.
I'll go first.
Okay.
I'll use my walker.
And if I hit some squishy stinky stash.
Or like a landmine.
You'll all just blow up.
You know, D&D landmines.
So to clarify, Mateed's in the air on Overwatch.
Barney is taking point.
Chip is immediately behind Barney.
And then Elga, I assume, is behind Chip.
Actually, I think Elga's playing jump rope between me and Barney.
Do you tie the alchemist to you?
The alchemist declines.
Oh.
Are you sure?
That's my man.
So it's just a Chip and Barney party.
Alchemist, if you remember, I saved you from the stinking sand
Hmm. I have some other memories as well
Okay, you're flying away screaming from the guy
Okay, well mr. Bird. Can you show us the path forward?
Mr. Bird the teeth doesn't respond at all because Matide has no idea who
the hell you're referring to. A giant white
liquid comes from the sky.
Yes.
It's some kind of air stinking
sand.
Barney pulls on the rope. Help me.
Matide just
heads northeast. Okay.
And then Barney like uses Walker
to help look for soft patches of sand.
Yes, but if you remember, Mati did look for stinking sand and did not find anything else in this immediate area.
I didn't share that information.
Oh, okay.
Never mind.
So, yes, you can do that, Barney.
Could I walk with the alchemist so I could ask him a question as we're going?
Sure, why not?
Have you ever heard of a blood pact?
so I could ask him a question as we're going?
Sure, why not?
Have you ever heard of a blood pact?
I have a question for you as we walk to our, you know, impending doom.
So your son, Henry, correct?
That's his name?
Yes.
How long has he been at this school for?
It's been something I've been thinking about for a while.
Freak.
Oh, is that his name?
Sorry.
His son's Henry.
The academy's name is Freak, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He just started.
Just started.
How long ago?
Just about a week ago.
A week.
How long ago were we in this school?
Not too long ago.
You all were in the school two days ago, maybe?
Oh.
No, wait.
That is a different school, though.
You were in Lofton College.
Yeah.
Lofton College.
Right.
Henry was sent to Freak.
Yeah.
Which is a different school.
Just because we saw him walking around and he was trapped in your office.
So I'm wondering how he got there, if he was supposed to be at Freak.
He's a little scamp, always up to something.
He takes place after his old man.
Reminds me of me back in my day.
Where did you come from?
Aren't you supposed to be leading?
Sorry.
Did you have any more questions?
No, it's just been something I've been thinking about because I'm wondering how I could potentially be in
two places at once. It just seems very strange.
Suspicious minds.
Salutations,
my stinky supporters. If you love this
show and want to support us, then check out the Stinky Dragon
soundtracks wherever you stream music
or you can pick out
some Stinky Dragon merch
at store.roosterteeth.com.
On top of that,
we've got Stinky Dragon
puppet videos you can watch
on social media,
including a new series
called Dungeon Dive
you can find over on TikTok.
Hey, everyone.
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It's time for dolls, drama, and death in Barbie Didn't Do It,
a six-episode true crime parody role-playing event from the hilarious cast over at Must Be Dice.
Barbie's on the run, accused of murdering her new boyfriend
Kenneth in cold blood. Now her best friends Georgette and Candy must don their detective hats
and help clear Barbie's name before the real killer strikes again. This might mean tracking
down and investigating Barbie's ex-boyfriends, the Kens, who know more than they let on. Kind of.
So subscribe to the Must Be Dice podcast feed to listen to Barbie Didn't Do It right now,
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exclusive Barbie Didn't Do It post-show.
Barbie's fate depends on it.
So you all proceed to the northeast, taking a wide berth around the stinking sand,
and you come up to that kind of like old ruined wall to the northeast kind
of blocking the path the ground kind of funnels to a choke point here with water on either side
of you to the left and the right and this small wall in front of you blocking the path to further
land so a wall how tall is it it's not very tall it's like two and a half feet tall maybe it's not a wall that's like a fence fine like a ruined fence what do you do barney the water it's like a little choke point
and then it opens up afterwards like an isthmus do you know what an isthmus is ah what's an isthmus
meet you it's my favorite holiday merry isthmus hey i don't know what it is come on it's like a
where like a narrowing line like think about like, like how Florida connects up to the rest of the United States.
It's kind of like, is that narrow strip of land with water on either side?
Like Panama.
Much smaller.
That's like Panama.
Okay.
Gotcha.
So like a tiny little island.
But it's connected.
Could I do two things?
I have this ability I haven't been using called Vigilant Blessing, where I just give one creature
I touch advantage on the next initiative roll.
Can I just give that to myself?
That's a spell?
No, it's an ability.
As an action, you give one creature you touch, including possibly yourself,
advantage on the next initiative roll the creature makes.
The benefit ends immediately after the roll or if you use this feature again.
Oh, that's a cool.
Yeah, I can use it for like forever.
Yeah?
You can just always just have it on.
Yeah.
In fact,
from this point,
can I just,
so I don't have to continue to really call it out.
Can I just keep that?
You got to call it out.
That's how you have to call it.
Just remind me after combat.
So I'll do that.
And then could I also like look around and kind of like poke the sides of the
water near the isthmus?
Yeah.
Like he's just testing the water.
It's like whenever I took skipper out to go potty.
See,
see,
it just, it's suspicious. just testing the water. It's like whenever I took Skipper out to go potty. See, it's just suspicious.
Suspicious?
Okay, yeah.
You poke at the water.
This narrow strip of land is probably 10 to 15 feet across.
So it's pretty easy for you to get to one side and the other. And you stick your walker into the water on both sides.
Make a perception check, I guess. Investigation?
Investigation. There you go. That's better. Make an investigation check.
No, it wasn't better.
One's in, one's
wisdom. Nat 20. There you go.
You didn't need it, big boy.
You pull your walker
out and it doesn't seem anything out of the ordinary.
Your walker's maybe a little hotter, like a little warmer
to the touch than it was before.
Your walker's hot. There's something hot a little warmer to the touch than it was before. Your walker's hot.
There's something hot in the water.
Could it be like a natural spring underneath the ground?
It was bubbling and popping.
Oh, and I thought those were Barney's toots.
They might have been.
They could have.
Hmm.
Can I do like the classic tracker, like I get down on a knee and I feel the ground thing.
Yeah.
Make a survival check.
What's that do?
Tells me what I need to know.
How's your wisdom?
Negative.
Survival's a wisdom check.
A six.
What does he sense, Dungeon Master?
Oh, it's definitely terra firma.
Ah, just as I suspect.
I put some in my mouth and go...
I see Chip doing this and I go,
What did you discover, Chip?
Tell the group.
I am not a cow.
What?
Yeah.
Oh.
I don't like the taste of grass.
Oh, is that what you just eat?
That's about it.
Okay.
I dust my hands off.
Okay.
So the party has been faced with a two and a half tall stone wall,
and thus far, no one's gone over.
Well, you're welcome to fly over.
I love it, Jordan.
Canonically, Mateed honestly would have been like miles away at this point.
Well, let's proceed cautiously.
You get maybe behind a tree
so we get some tension on the rope
in case something yanks at me.
This might be some sort of illusionary magic.
We've encountered this before.
Okay, I'll try to hop the wall.
I can't wait to read the module
and see the party approaches a plain wall.
There's nothing here.
At least it's not a door.
That's our new thing, fences. Elga wants to a plain wall. There's nothing here. At least it's not a door. That's our new thing, fences.
Elga wants to hop the wall.
Yeah, make an athletics check because it is a little tall.
24.
Oh, you show off.
Yeah.
Elga easily hops over the wall with no issue and lands on the other side.
Do I see any loose stones or anything on the ground from the wall?
Oh, definitely.
Definitely.
Can I go pick one up?
Yeah. I want to investigate it.
It's a nine. You go over and grab one of the stones that has, I
assume you're looking specifically for like one that's fallen out
of the wall and not just like some random rock.
Yeah, you go over and grab the stone and
as you touch it, an earthquake starts
shaking the area. Jesus.
I was setting up for a Pink Floyd joke.
I was going to say, all in all, it's just another
brick in the wall. All three of you
make dexterity saving throws. I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry.
The three of you that are on the ground.
You're still close. Even though I'm on the other
side of the wall? Yeah, you're close by.
Lemon? Is this something I could have seen?
It's not like a trap per se.
I think that's normally what that works for.
So I would say no.
So I don't get advantage.
Okay.
Nine.
Ten.
Well, lucky for you, ten was the number.
So you're fine.
However, Chip, maybe since you're bending over,
your center of gravity is tossed over.
You fall to the ground and the ground slams into your face a couple of times.
You take two points of bludgeoning damage and you're laying prone on the ground.
The ground slams him?
Yeah, it's like an earthquake.
A very localized earthquake shakes an area.
Oh, so he just kind of slams into the ground?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
And you realize that as this earthquake is happening,
the wall is like popping up out of the ground
to a greater height and then back under the ground.
Oh, a subterranean structure.
Wait, so it goes up and goes back down?
Yeah.
Like there was more of the wall that was beneath the surface that has been exposed for a moment.
I say we dig.
And that was triggered by you picking up a brick that had fallen off already.
Yeah, and then slamming my face in the ground multiple times because of the earthquake.
Do I see anything on the other side of the wall?
Yeah, on your side, this bit of land extends for a little while.
To your north, there's a small island that's overgrown with trees.
To your northeast is more land with one big tree on it and some more small walls.
And then to your southeast is another island with a tree.
Yeah.
Just a tree.
Yeah, and then some land.
The one to the northeast sounds interesting.
One big tree and a bunch of walls.
Does the wall look different on this side that I'm at?
No.
Okay.
Are there any loose bricks around?
Sure, yeah. Should I pick one up and see what happens again? I'm at? No. Okay. Are there any loose bricks around? Sure, yeah.
Should I pick one up and see what happens again?
I don't think so.
Are you sure?
Can I?
Should I put one on the, maybe pick one up and put it down the wall?
No.
Oh, there's an idea.
I didn't do that.
Before you do that, could Barney help pick up Chip from the ground?
Sure.
Oh, thank you, Barney.
All right, brace yourself.
I'm going to try it again. Can we find a tree to hold on to? Just hold on to you, Barney. All right, brace yourself. I'm going to try it again.
Can we find a tree to hold on to?
Just hold on to me, Barney.
There's like some small shrubs on your side, but no like big trees.
Okay.
Can I try to pick up a brick and put it on top of the wall?
Yeah, but the second you touch the brick, everything begins shaking violently once again.
All three of you make dexterity saving throws.
Shoot.
Since you were anticipating this time, Elga, I will say your danger sense works.
Okay, cool.
So I get an advantage on it?
Yeah. I won't need it. I rolled an 18, but I'll roll it again. time, Elga, I will say your danger sense works. Okay, cool. So I get an advantage on it? Yeah.
I won't need it.
I rolled an 18, but I'll roll it again.
15.
18 for Elga.
21.
Yeah, maybe you all were kind of bracing yourselves this time, but the earth begins shaking again.
The wall shoots up and down a few times, but you all manage to hold yourselves standing.
Do we notice anything on the wall?
Is it just like flat wall?
There's no like door or any other or symbols yeah things
make an investigation check 15 nothing stands out it's just an ancient dilapidated and it's
just a series of these bricks that have fallen out right like it seems like these bricks used
to be on the wall it seems like it's the same kind of same kind of material same kind of stone
i just just for clarity i don't know if we ever said bricks i've said like rocks i don't know
that like they would have used bricks necessarily.
Could be just like a stone wall.
Okay.
I just want to make sure what we're picking up is what the wall is made out of.
Yeah.
Same kind of material.
What land are we in?
What's this called?
Snarelands.
Snarelands.
Okay.
Well.
Lots of traps.
Elga did see these other three locations that we could try to venture towards.
Yeah.
Let's do that.
This wall might not be normal.
I think we should go to the northeast.
I agree.
I mean, I think we should go to the northeast. I agree. I mean, I think we should go to the northeast.
I agree.
I like the way Elgas says northeast.
Northeast.
Northeast.
Okay.
Still learning the accent.
Northeast from this place?
Uh-huh.
From where Elgas.
There's an island with a single tree.
There's a single tree and a bunch of walls, I believe.
Yeah, a couple of small walls similar to this one.
Okay.
Barney, how are you going to cross this wall?
Can I wave at Mateed?
Sure. Can I wave and see if
Mateed sees me? Mateed is
just nonchalantly
circling and humming
a Parisian tune to themselves
and has not noticed Barney.
Well, it looks like it's just me and you, Mr. Chip.
Yeah, looks like Mateed
is disassociating once again.
Mateed is just like,
has very much recognized that
you guys are going to continue to be doing absurd
things on the ground and has no desire
to be a part of it. These are ground problems.
These are ground problems. Good teamwork, Mateed!
Keep an eye out! You're doing great!
Could Barney get a
running start and try
and hop the wall? I guess we should do it together
or should we untie? Let's untie.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm just going to hurdle the fence.
Try not to touch it.
Y'all are cowards.
Thank you.
I just jumped right over it.
You two should do it tied.
I think you should.
Yeah.
I think you should.
Okay.
All right.
What the heck?
Synchronize your watches, Bernie.
I was more thinking of us holding hands and driving off the cliff.
Thelma and Louise. Thelma and Louise driving off the cliff Alright go Thelma. Classic. See that one doesn't end well. I don't know if you've seen that movie. The movie just cuts out.
Driving off a cliff, I mean you're describing it. We don't know what happened.
You don't know. My hand is hovering over the athletics track. Well, let's think about this. You two need to kind of do this in sync.
I'm just trying to figure out how to make this like an intelligence roll of some kind.
I'll say, let's keep it simple.
Both of you make a dexterity check.
You ready?
And a one.
And a two.
And a three.
You already rolled it.
Oh, okay.
You all didn't even roll it at the same time.
Chip, I guess, starts counting out.
All right, on the count of three
And as he says that Barney just takes off running
And Barney clears the wall easily
But this startles Chip
Who doesn't realize that they were supposed to be going
He starts running as well
But the line becomes taut
And pulls him smack dab into the wall
All three of you make a dexterity saving throw
Elga you have
Oh because he touched the wall Right you have advantage on it. Okay. Twelve.
Four. Oh no. I won't
need it. It's an eighteen. Okay. Barney,
you think everything's fine. This all happens behind you so you
don't see it, but the wall begins
shaking or the ground begins shaking
and it knocks you to the ground and you take
two points of bludgeoning damage. I'm on it.
Chip, you're still on the other side of the wall
where everyone started from. Okay. So I'm good? You need to get over the wall. You still need to I'm on it. Chip, you're still on the other side of the wall. Where everyone started from. Okay.
So I'm good? You need to get over the wall.
You still need to get over the wall. Oh, right.
The last earthquake.
You made your dexterity save. You knew what was
coming. Alright, I'm gonna hurdle to this wall.
I'm gonna limber up. Think of my old
high school days and the track in the fields.
Go roll something.
Okay, you told me what to roll then.
Yeah, make the dexterity check
Yeah
No, I appreciate you waiting
Yeah
I was just waiting
I was being nice
That's a
Oh, 22
Oh, yeah
This time
You don't have to wait for bar
You're not trying to synchronize or anything
So you're able to easily hop over the wall
Maybe I did a bit of a flip in the air
Yeah
Sure, why not
You got a good roll
Okay
What kind of flip?
Forward flip?
Forward flip Yeah, this probably
makes the most sense. And then I land
and I pop up and I go, hop, hop.
You put your arms out. And then I look to the judges.
Elga, what do you rate that? Elga is
wildly impressed with this.
She goes, 10 out of 10! And she holds up
both of her hands. The judge from whatever country
that is gave you a 10.
I got a question mark. Wow, that
wall.
Okay. Long rest.
Now for the next 90 minutes of this module.
Now for the next 90 minutes of this module.
You all have bested the wall. Aha! The fence.
No, we have to clear our mind.
This is a fence. Two feet. And we head
northeast to the sea island. You kind of caught me when I said
it was a wall because I knew there was more underground
that was going to come out.
So a little peek behind the DM screen there.
The three land lovers are now past the wall and Matit is flying overhead, providing overwatch.
Now as you're progressing a little further into the bog, it's getting really hazy.
It's getting a little more difficult to see.
Maybe it's because of the bog.
There's like smoke and haze permeating the atmosphere, kind of obscuring things a little bit.
As Elga said
to the party, there is a small gap, a little bit
of water, and then on the other side, more land
to the northeast. Kind of like a peninsula
it looks like, with a tree and a couple of
similarly looking relic walls.
Okay, well I want to head to the water.
Yeah, you walk up to the shore and you
can see the land is maybe
ten feet across. Like this stretch of water is between five and can see the land is maybe 10 feet across.
Like this stretch of water is between 5 and 10, like say 7 to 10 feet across.
How deep?
Make a, let's call it a nature check.
Ah, a two, must be two feet.
Yeah, you think it's about two feet.
Two feet.
And this is like, there's no way to go around it very easily.
No, you're on like the end of this isthmus, almost like it's a peninsula and there's just water
on all the sides of it. To get to the island, you'd have
to go through the water. You know,
Matichus calls that, do a dive!
After all that stinking sand, I
could use a good wash and I want to
just jump in there and use my tail
as a little propeller and just go across
doggy paddle with
my motor tail. Let's see what happens here.
Yeah, you dive into the water.
Can I brace in case something
grabs him? Yeah.
Yeah, sure. Oh, okay, because you're attacked. Oh, you're still attacked.
You dive into
the water and
as your head pops up from the water, it's not very deep.
It's three feet maybe.
You immediately begin screaming
in pain as the water scalds you
i don't know i mean doing i'm tiefling so i have fire resistance i feel like that's a temperature
resistance thing as well does that help me at all i guess please god fire fire is the opposite of
water yeah but this is so you're weak to this but like no it's hot it's hot water just smiling
four points of damage yeah fire resistance okay so two points of damage because I'm resistant. But does he still get to
the other side? Yeah, you make it across
but four points of damage.
Four points of damage.
So you're on the other side.
If he's on the other side, that means that he got
in the water and he's just screaming
as he goes through.
He gets to the other side and he's just like,
come on guys, the water's fine.
It wasn't very far.
It was only between 7 and 10 feet across.
Does he still smell?
Does he still?
You can't tell.
You're too far.
So, okay.
I turn around and I say, hey, Elga and Barney, the water is a little warm.
So, like, if you want, like, a day spa treatment thing, hop right in.
But you might kind of go through, like a pierce brosnan in that
volcano movie dante's peak dante's peak thank you matide um it was dante's peak yeah it's a
masterpiece we so just be careful as you cross maybe maybe make a boat i am a huge fan of pierce
brosnan oh yeah yeah he got robbed during j Bond. Goldeneye was a masterpiece. I would agree with that whole hosley.
Yeah, yeah.
Why don't you swing the rope over that tree, and then we can...
So I can drag you through the water.
No, no, and then you pull it up, and then maybe we swing across.
Oh, Georgia the Jungle style.
Brendan Fraser, also a great and underappreciated actor until recently.
No, Matisse.
You said there's
trees on this side? There's one big tree,
but it's probably not for a bit, right? Correct.
It's not too far away. It's maybe another
10, 15 feet away. You know, I feel
like this tree's going to be a trap, but I want to
honor Barney's fun. Yes, and
so then I'm going to go and see if
I can tie this here rope to this here tree
and pull my friends across wait so
I think you two said two different things I want to clarify what's
going on Barney said like toss the rope over
a branch you said tie it around like do you
want to tie it around the trunk no no no toss it over a branch
and then give it a go to yanking so that there's like
leverage to swing
or if I like use myself as a
counterweight yeah then I could just like bring
you know the oop and then you guys
hey all over so you untie the rope that's on bring and then you guys all over. So you
untie the rope that's on you and then toss
that rope over the branch. Yeah.
Okay. And you're holding on to it being a counterweight.
I guess he's already tied to you so that's convenient.
Yeah. You toss the
rope over the branch but it doesn't come
all the way down. Like the part of the rope
that impacts the tree or that touches the tree
appears to just like get stuck there.
So I'm going to climb up this here tree.
Oh, be careful.
Chip goes over and begins climbing the tree.
Make a strength saving throw, Chip.
This is going to be an end.
It's a living creature.
I should know better by now.
You know, I'm running real low on health and that was only a seven.
You go over to climb the tree, you know, and you put your hands on it and get real close
to it, but you immediately become adhered and stuck to
the tree as well. Alright. So we had stinky
sand and probably sticky trees. Bit of a
situation here, gang.
The tree is sticky.
Could Elga attempt to run and jump over
the water? Yeah, make a
let's call it an athletics check.
21. You take like a good 10 feet
of a running start and you're able to jump
the 7 feet across.
I guess Barney will do the same.
Make an athletics check, Barney.
Elga continuing her streak of not showering.
Yeah, Barney takes a running start and begins trying to hop over the water.
It looks super easy the way Elga did it.
I'm coming.
But you misjudged the jump and you fall into the water in the middle.
Barney, you need to jump when you get to the edge! Two points of scalding damage.
Can I- am I-
What the-
We'll just get across?
Yeah, you can get across.
And you give him two?
Ouchie.
It's the dice! I rolled!
No, that's cheating!
So in D&D, you roll a dice often for damage to be-
I'm a super kind DM, by the way. I show you all the rolls.
Stand on your might, teacher! Fire resistance!
That's very nice. Backscreech! Super kind DM, by the way. I show you all the ropes. Fire resistance.
Back screech.
I'm going to untie the rope from me.
Okay.
Well, actually, can I cut the rope so it's not attached to the tree?
It's attached to the tree.
Just cut the rope so there's no longer an attachment to you.
Yeah, to the tree.
You're not that close to the tree.
Well, I guess can I approach the tree and then cut?
Oh, you went through the water? Yeah, he fell in and then crossed as well.
And then like cut things and then like if the tree's sticky. I don't want to be attached to it.
Here you go, Chip. Good call. Yeah.
You know, I do love nature. I do love the wilderness. Some may call me a tree hugger, but in this particular case
I like to picture Chip is like stuck face first into the tree and like addressing everyone behind him.
So I'm just a little stuck here.
I do love trees, but I do not love this tree so much as to stay stuck to it.
So please help.
Could Elga try to pull Chip off the tree?
Yeah, make a strength check.
Can Barney help?
Yeah, sure.
You can roll.
You won't need to.
I rolled a nat 20. Oh. Or 24. Elga puts a hand up as Barney approaches help? Yeah, sure. You can roll. You won't need to. I rolled a nat 20.
Ooh.
Or 24.
Elga puts a hand up as Barney approaches.
He goes, I got this.
No, stay back.
Barney starts walking forward.
It's already happened.
Elga pulls Chip off so strongly that, like, pieces of bark are adhered to Chip's face still.
That's funny.
You ripped part of the tree off, and it's now just attached to Chip as well.
Ah, camouflage.
Ah!
Very good.
You know, there are moisturizers that take care of that.
Your skin looking a little rough.
Yeah, yeah.
Can I take a little taste of the tree sap?
Is it like a, what was it called?
You know, up in Canada.
Syrup!
Yeah.
Maple.
Yeah, you dab.
I guess you probably get some like that still attached to the bark on your face.
Yeah, I just probably just need to reach out with my tongue and just go like that still attached to the bark on your face.
Yeah. Make a strength saving throw.
On your leg?
Oh no!
If his tongue gets stuck to his own face,
does that mean he can't talk anymore?
It's a crime one.
Yeah, your tongue temporarily gets stuck to your face for just a moment, but you rolled a 21
on your strength save. See, you're able to
pull your tongue away from the sap.
Yeah, it's kind of sweet. It's know as sweet as syrup you've had in the past maybe it's not refined but yeah it's got a slight sweet taste to it so basically this tree is ultra
ultra sticky if our uh community ever gets around to updating uh wikipedia pages for the new
characters i need uh under chips that he has a strong tongue the The alchemist walks up. Oh, I think I've read about these before.
I believe those are called treacles.
Nerd.
And?
Treacles?
Treacles, yes.
Trees that have a very sticky yellow viscous sap
that prevents insects from boring into them.
You know, I've got some, like, potions of healings
that I've taken, so I assume I have those bottles still.
Can I, like, bottle up a little bit of this ooze?
Sure, why not? Like a sticky bomb?
Yeah. Mr. Owl.
Is the sap good for anything
in particular besides being yummy?
As far as I'm aware,
treacle sap has not been refined for any other
use. Well, I'd like some.
Can I also put some in a container?
Sure, why not? Now what do we see now that we're
on the other side of this water?
We see we're obviously next to the big tree.
Yeah, it's still pretty hazy, but you think you can see a little further to the east some solid land.
It looks like, you know, not islands anymore, but actual solid land that proceeds.
The alchemist sees you looking and says, I believe that is the route to our destination.
Oh, how convenient. Let's go that way.
Hey guys, stop licking trees and stuff like that.
Let's go this way to the east.
Okay, Elga.
You said this is an island, so is the land that's to the east not connected?
Correct.
It's another, like, small gap, another seven feet or so.
Okay.
How are you guys going to get over this gap?
You know, I think Elga's got this one.
She's going to go ahead and go first.
Not me.
Her.
So I guess we start walking that way well it's water well we have to go there and then get to the water oh yeah the edge of the island
yeah this island that you're on isn't very thick that tree was kind of in the middle it's at most
40 feet across maybe and you said there's other walls around it too yeah on the northeast side
it looks like there's another wall similar to the one you passed already a fence i have a feeling
there's gonna be something that triggers these things to go up and stay up.
Yeah.
But let me, I guess, go to the edge of the island and try another jump.
Yeah, you make another running long jump.
Make a, what do we call it, an athletics check there.
14?
14.
Yeah, it's not very far.
Your strength is pretty high.
You're able to deftly jump across the gap and land on Terra Firma on the other side.
See, everybody?
It's not so hard.
What are you, part frog?
You're just hopping around all over the place.
No, I'm just regular human girl.
Oh, yeah?
Okay.
Why would you assume?
Nothing to be suspicious about.
Yeah, sure.
You just keep saying that, and I...
Okay.
Did Chip give you back your javelin? No, I think he still has it. Nothing to be suspicious about. Yeah, sure. You just keep saying that, and I, okay.
Did Chip give you back your javelin?
No, I think he still has it.
Oh, here you go. Those interest payments are still accruing, aren't they?
It's got a little sticky sap on it, but there you go.
Drip, drip, drip.
All the blood.
Oh, she's on the other side of the water.
Oh, let me throw it to you then.
Or you could use it as like a stick to jump.
Oh, yeah.
I want to pole vault with her javelin.
Don't you get it stuck? I've done long jump. I've done curls. But if javelin. Don't you get it stuck?
I've done long jump. I've done but if you pull vault won't you leave it behind?
He doesn't use the spiky side carry it with you carry it. Yeah, I'll like pull it across
I'll just like I think animal crossing. Okay. Okay. Yeah, thank you for contextualizing animal crossing new horizon
I also want to point out. I don't know why or how I have four of these in my inventory
New Horizons. I also want to point out, I don't know why or how, I have four of these
in my inventory.
You're like a porcupine.
I think the way you can describe this is they're like the magician little thing
where it's like a pen
sized thing that expands out.
Very cool. Yeah, go ahead and make an athletics check.
Olga loves close hand magic.
Oh, that's a 22.
Oh yeah, you pole vault easily.
Maybe you spent some time when you were
younger in track and field doing some pole vaulting.
You dress like that. I'm getting gold medals
all around. Dad would be so proud.
Mike Haney. That's my papa.
Mike Haney. Barney, everyone's left you.
Well, the alchemist is still there. Oh, the alchemist. Yeah, the alchemist.
Trips and falls and drowns.
Without Chip stepping on his
head, he's able to move a lot more freely.
And he makes the running jump
and clears the water and
lands on the other side as well yeah what were his rolls just his roll was a 17 why are you pressing
no reason stop being combative with the dungeon we want him to succeed we want him to come
i guess i'll try and make the jump all right make an athletics check
nine you make a running
start but stumble. You stub your toe
on a rock and you splash into
the water.
A nine's better than a one. Four points of scalding
damage. Four!
But you're able to
regain your composure quickly and scamper across
the water and rejoin your party on the other
side. You're probably pretty worse for wear now.
What if we did like a, uh, anybody got
any heals? Like a, uh, not a potion
but like a spell that
they could burn and it not take a
slot or anything?
Don't look at me.
I refuse to look at you. I look away.
Don't look at me.
Okay, I'm sorry, Helga.
We could take a short rest.
Do we have time for that, alchemist?
We must hurry.
We're running short on time to free Frankenstein.
Y'all have reached the other side of the boiling bogs
and amidst the smog you see two things.
A bleary sun peeking past a hazy horizon
and a huge reptilian skeleton
with immense jaws and bony wings.
Oh, it's the Skelegon.
Is that the Skelegon?
I think it's the remains of one, maybe, right? Yeah, is it
alive? Like, or...
All four of you make investigation
checks, because everyone's kind of asking questions here.
I'd say at this point, Matita's close to the party,
but still hovering. 16.
18. 12.
Elga's still looking the opposite direction.
14. Hands on hips,
proud. So everyone, except
for Elga, notices this. This is not Skelegon. This is like, this appears So everyone except for Elga notices this.
This is not Skelegon.
This appears to be the corpse of a different dragon.
And it seems like the smoky haze that's permeating the bog
seems to be flowing out of the orifices on the skull.
And you can tell it seems like there's some kind of light
coming from beneath the skeleton.
Oh, like a domicile?
Like someone is in there with a fire?
Ooh.
It's hard to tell.
Just some light source.
Like a magical light source.
Oh, okay.
Like what color is the light coming out of there?
It's obscured with the haze,
so it's hard to tell.
It seems kind of somewhere between white and yellow.
Okay.
You know, that giant skeleton dragon skull
looks pretty inviting.
You guys want to go investigate?
What dragon skull?
I turned her around.
Chip grabs Elga by the shoulders and turns her 180 degrees so she's facing the correct direction.
That's pretty.
Do we see any other signs of life in this area?
Like trails where feet have walked repetitively?
Make a survival check.
Ooh, 24.
Yeah, you think you see some drag marks, some dragging marks. I was going to say drag on. feet have like walked repetitively make a survival check ooh 24 not 20 wow yeah
you think you see like some drag marks
some dragging marks I was gonna say drag on
or leading up to the skull dragging marks
as in like can I with a 24
do I recognize like what size
the creature might have been and where
it was coming from you don't know that it was it was a creature
necessarily it's like something was
dragged so there's no
footprints you know it's just like you can tell
you have it in the dirt.
So it's not like you can discern any
further information there. Okay.
Mateed approaches the skull. Okay.
And looks in one of the orifices.
Which one? Probably the closest
like a nostril. Yeah, you look
in one of the nostrils
and inside you can see
that light appears to be emanating from somewhere
inside the skull so it makes it kind of hard to see it blinds you a little bit in addition to the
light you see like shadows and maybe some some further depth into the skull but it's it's a
little hard to see i can't see like is it so illuminating you can't even see the source of
what is emanating the light make a let's call it a nature check. That's only a six.
You're really not sure what the source of this light is.
It's a little blinding.
Matide motions for the party to come join.
Okay.
I look in the other nostril and then we're like two people at like a state fair where they have the cutouts of like the big buff guy and then the lady in the bikini and they're
doing the poses.
Make a nature check as well, Chip.
Oh, I got a plus one on this.
This is going to be a good one.
Nine.
It's really hard to tell much. That's kind of
bright and blinding you. Okay, I'll go come
look over. Yeah. Do you want to look in one
of the nostrils or who you, if you want to look at a
nostril, which of these dum-dums do you push
aside or do you want to look in? Excuse me.
Mr. Rolls a six
or do you want to look in an eye
or something else? I'll look in an eye. Okay, yeah. You kind of boost yourself up and look into an eye. Make me a six, or do you want to look in an eye or something else? I'll look in an eye.
Okay, yeah, you kind of boost yourself up and look into an eye.
Make me a nature check.
I don't see anything.
It looks like a light.
You rolled a six.
Sure did.
What is this who's on first thing that we're doing here?
We're all just failing.
All right, Barney, your turn.
Yeah, I guess I'll go look. Do you look in the other eye or do you push one of these people away?
I'll look in the other eye.
We got all the main holes covered.
There's the thumbnail.
Make a nature check.
16.
There you go.
As you're approaching to look into the eye,
do you realize that the dragon's bones are made of some kind of crystal?
Oh.
Does it look to be the same crystal that is the one we have?
Not quite. Okay. And you notice that be the same crystal that is the one we have? Not quite.
Okay. And you notice that the heart is missing from this dragon.
Oh, that's sad. Also,
while you look through, you realize
when you're looking into the skull, you're not quite as
blinded as everyone else. The cataracts are helping you here.
And you see that there's a
path through the jaws leading down
to a tunnel that heads underground.
Oh.
What do you see, Barney? A path through the jaws leading down to a tunnel that heads underground. Like a throat.
What do you see, Barney?
There's a secret passage in the head.
Of the dragon?
Yeah.
It goes down into a basement.
Can I pull up that scroll that had the autonomy of the dragon and stuff and see if there's anything I can discern from that?
Just like... Anatomy? Yeah from that. Based just like.
Anatomy.
Yeah.
Autonomy.
I was like,
what?
Anatomy is what I meant.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You pull it out and you can clearly tell that the heart is indeed missing.
Shall we go down in here?
Is Barney going in the eye socket?
Yeah.
Is it like a thing that we go into?
Or is there like a opening that we opened?
Do we open the mouth?
Oh yeah.
You could try opening the mouth if you want.
Okay. Here's the thing.
Now, if we fail this, the jaws are gonna
clamp down on us. Well, we're all gonna do it together.
I hate this, but okay. I'm gonna
help lift this. I'm gonna deadlift
this jaw. Matisse shoves Chip towards the mouth
to help. Anyone who wants to try to open the
jaws, make a strength check. Okay.
I want to help. Oh, Felga's doing
it. You got it. No problem.
Hopefully. That's a 20. I, Felga's doing it. You got it. No problem. Hopefully.
That's a 20.
Oh, I only rolled a 10.
11.
12.
Come on, gang.
Put your backs into it.
Yeah.
Luckily for everyone, Matide is feeling really buff.
Maybe all the flying helped you get. Or the lack of doing anything else.
Are you just referring to the lack of damage that I've taken?
Just to bet you that you've just been up flying around singing.
Lovely.
It's a lovely day.
Yeah, you're able to prop open the jaws,
and you can clearly see the tunnel heading underground.
I told you.
A basement.
And there's no reason for me not to believe you, Barney.
I go in.
Me too.
Okay, I let the whole party go in.
It sounds like Chip, Elga, Barney, Mateed. Yeah.
In that order. Okay, yeah. You
make your way down through the tunnel for a bit.
It's kind of claustrophobic, but then
after proceeding for a little while,
the tunnel opens up into
a giant cave that's
shimmering with natural crystals forming
on the walls, the ground, and the
ceiling. To the south is a large
pool with purple fluid, and then to the east the cave branches off into, and the ceiling. To the south is a large pool with purple fluid,
and then to the east, the cave branches off
into, like, some narrow tunnels.
Echo!
Echo!
Like a purple fluid, you said, right?
Yes.
Okay.
Gus stinks butts!
Gus stinks butts.
It's stupid.
Such a child.
Such a child.
I'm sorry.
What does it even mean?
What does it even mean?
Such a child.
I'm sorry.
What does it even mean?
What does it even mean?
Okay, so we came in and we're sort of facing the east.
The east is more cave.
I bet that pool is probably like stomach acid.
Stomach acid.
So we should watch out.
Could we go look at it?
I'll go look at the purple liquid.
Yeah, I'll go with you.
With the illumination from these crystals, as we have entered, I assume we'd be able to see?
Yeah, it seems like it.
But is it dark at all, like, to the point that would limit our view?
No, I wouldn't say so.
How big are these dragons?
Huge.
Pretty big.
So we're inside the dragon.
Well, you went in through the jaws and then went through a tunnel that went down underground.
So we're not in its belly.
No, no, no.
Okay.
This is technically dragon.
This is a dragon.
Wait, what is it?
Skelegon.
Skelegon was the name.
Correct.
I'm so sorry.
You're right.
Okay.
Who checked the purple?
I think Elga.
And Barney went with me too.
Can I skip a stone?
Yeah, let me talk to them and you can skip a stone if you want.
So it's a pretty sprawling pool of sparkling purple fluid.
And there's a few like small islands of rock and crystal.
Then you can see to the southwest here is a pile of smoldering bones and skulls.
To the southeast, it looks like the pool flows into another chamber.
The bones are not in the liquid.
They're just like next to it.
Yeah, they're like on little bits of outcropping of land.
Could I pick up a bone and dip it into the purple?
Oh, they're kind of like across the way.
They're like on the other side of the pool down to the southwest.
Is there anything that I could grab to dip into the purple ooze?
Barney's got a walker you could test with.
No.
Elga, did your parents ever teach you how to skip rocks?
I know how to skip and I know how to rock.
That's awesome.
Are you ready to rock?
Elga von Rock.
Yeah.
There's nothing immediately nearby.
I mean, there's crystals growing out of the walls.
You can maybe, like, try to break off a piece of crystal.
Javelin?
Your javelin?
I'm trying to break off a piece of-
You got four of them?
Well, they're very precious to me.
Clearly, if I make people to blood pact. You name all four of your javelin? I'm trying to break off a piece of... You got four of them? Well, they're very precious, don't they? Clearly, if I make people to blood pact.
You name all four of your javelins.
Yeah.
Could I break off a piece of the crystal on the wall?
Yeah.
There's multiple colors.
There's like red ones, green ones, blue ones, yellow ones.
Do you have any preference or just do you care?
Kyber crystals.
Let's go with red.
You, you know, reach out to break off a piece of a red crystal.
Then the next thing you know, you're not standing where you were.
I saw this coming.
You're back by the cave entrance again, behind the party.
But still inside.
Yeah.
Just teleported.
Yeah.
From our perspective.
Yes.
Did I become a bat just now?
Did it work?
Oh, I love it.
Mati just goes, oui. It was beautiful.
Finally.
Could I run back to where I was and try to grab a green crystal?
Yeah, you run back over very excitedly and grab onto a green crystal.
Roll me a four-sided die.
And was it, the red crystal, when I touched it, did I transport?
When I broke it?
When you touched it.
Okay.
Three.
It like stings your hand
and you recoil away and you
lose a one hit point lose a hit point
yeah it's like one point of damage okay
you phrase that weird yeah sorry sorry
do I lose my max HP no no no you uh you take
one point of damage okay green is
spicy no touch don't touch the green
ouchie ouchie poison what was
the other one you hit red red let me
teleport back to the front.
Is there a purple crystal?
No, but you could touch red and blue at the same time.
What?
Oh, to make purple.
Why did that break your brain, Blaine?
Why did that?
That was like, that's simple colors.
What does yellow do?
You reach out and grab onto a yellow crystal.
Roll me a constitution saving throw.
Oh, dear.
I have a feeling you shouldn't touch this one either.
Oh, thank God. 24. Oh, okay. You have a feeling you shouldn't touch this one either. Oh, thank God.
24. Oh, okay. You felt, like, really sick,
like you were gonna throw up, but you managed to, like,
subdue it and keep it in.
And then I guess last but not least, let me touch that blue. It's just Elga just
touching the blue crystal.
Yeah.
You reach out and touch the blue one.
Make me a strength saving throw.
Elga's just throwing herself into this whole thing.
She likes this game.
Nat 20, 26.
You felt like some kind of force tried to push you back,
but you're so strong, you're able to hold your ground
and not get pushed.
Okay, so none of these crystals you should really mess with.
Red one is probably safest,
but I don't know where it takes us.
Like sometimes you really venture into like a guru
voice from Despicable Me.
It's great. I did not.
Do you just touch
them with your hand? I touch them with my hand, yeah.
Can I like try and go to the
Still haven't tested the purple water.
We still haven't touched it. I'm just gonna try and chip
off one of the things. We already know what
the crystals do if you touch them.
Yeah, not to touch them.
With a stick. You're not to touch them. Like, touch with a stick to try and, like...
You're trying to chip more crystal. Yeah.
To make, like, a portable teleporter.
You're Barney.
I'm chip. Chip crystal.
If I get a red one or something,
can I, like, take a...
Hit it with your walker, Barney. Yeah, I can do that.
I guess hit it with my walker.
Or I have a kit. I have a kit. I have a kit.
Carpenter tool. Like a knife
or something from it? Sure. You, you know,
you approach it with your tools and try
to break off a little piece. Make a dexterity check.
Wonder what's gonna happen to Barney.
You try to very carefully extract
the crystal, but it shatters and
falls apart to dust. Okay.
Matide goes and, uh, smells
the purple water. It smells
delicious. Like fresh baked goods.
It doesn't look like anything we've seen before, correct?
No. Just to be clear, it's not water. It's some kind of
purple fluid. Yeah, sorry. I have
cooking utensils, and so I kind of
dip like a spoon, let's
say, a ladle. Yeah. Imagine you
dip it in, you pull it out, and there's nothing there.
That's what I'm doing, is I'm testing.
Yeah, you dip it in, and you pull some out, I presume?
Yeah. It's a very, uh,
viscous fluid, much thicker than water, but not
like, like it would, like, encumber you or anything.
Yeah, you, I mean, you ladle some out.
Drink it, drink it,
drink it. While, while Chip
is chanting, drink it, drink it,
Mateed flicks the spoon at him.
My mouth is wide
open, too. And aims for his mouth.
Drink it!
Do you try to move out of the way, or are you trying to catch us with your mouth?
I accept my fate with open arms.
I trust Mateed with my life.
Make a wisdom saving throw.
Okay.
There are worse saving throws to make.
For you, no.
17.
The purple fluid hits you in the face.
You don't see this, Chip, but from everyone else's perspective, Chip falls to the ground unconscious.
So he's snoring on the ground, and the three of you are looking at him,
and it seems like there's sparkling, simple shapes rising up from his body.
He's beaming.
Floating up into the ceiling above him, and you see an image of a female tiefling crying.
So are we seeing his thoughts or his dreams or something
well this stuff looks neat do i have any control of this in my own no you're you're fast asleep
so i think we're seeing his dreams yeah that's cool we could accept people
quick somebody get a cup of that hot liquid out there And let's put fingers in it
Oh my god
I feel like you would do that
Mateed
If I set this bottle down would you fill up some of that
Stuff with your ladle
You don't want to just like fill the bottle? No.
We, uh, come here, I will help you.
Can I do that, like set like a container down and
Mateed like ladle it into the bottle?
Sure. Mateed flicks some in Barney's
face. Mateed.
Uh, Barney, if you want to try to
dodge, make a dexterity saving throw.
I won't try and dodge. It's a nine.
The purple liquid hits you, you fall
down to the ground unconscious.
Barney also begins snoring.
A really disgusting old man snore.
What do we see?
What do we see?
You see from his body sparkling simple shapes rising,
and it looks like a scruffy dog wagging its tail.
Oh, no.
Barney's got a sad backstory.
Scruffy dog?
Yeah, just wagging its tail.
Oh.
Maybe it's not him.
Maybe he's just thinking about a dog.
You know?
Well.
I feel like this is like the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Now Elga and Mateed are just looking at each other.
They're flicking.
No, no, no.
Mateed doesn't make any motion to flick anything yet.
Could Elga try to wake Chip?
Yeah.
What do you do?
Just a gentle slap.
Oh, like a tap, like a tap.
You give him a gentle tap on the face and Chip, your eyes pop open.
Ah, good morning.
Were you dreaming?
You're lying on the ground and you open your eyes and the first thing you notice is you're looking at the ceiling.
See that the ceiling is covered in what seems to be like glittering constellations embedded in the rocks overhead.
Oh, beautiful.
She's so pretty. Yeah.
I saw my wife. She was crying.
And now I'm gonna cry.
Does he see, are the images
of Carol or the tiefling still there?
No, when he wakes up, they
dissipate. Okay. Okay. Matita's
the same thing for Barney. Shakes him up a little bit. A gentle slap.
Yeah. A gentle, yeah. Give him a loving slap.
He got a cute dog. I got my wife who is possibly dead. This isn't fair. Barney. Shakes him up a little bit. A gentle slap. Yeah. A gentle, yeah. Give him a loving slap. Barney. You got a cute dog. I got my wife
who is possibly dead. This isn't
fair. Barney, you wake up. You were dreaming.
There's a nightmare. Oh, I'm sorry. I seem
to have dozed off. I'm sorry.
That's okay. Were you dreaming about anything,
Barney? I don't remember.
I have a hard time remembering my dreams.
Oh, do I?
Well, what were we doing? Oh, yes. We were putting some
of this stuff in this bottle
Mateed flicks it again and Barney spits
Make a dexterity saving throw, Barney
I don't think I was trying
He's too sleepy now
If you wouldn't try to dodge it, then yeah, don't
The purple liquid hits you in the face and you fall to the ground again
Unconscious
I'm going for a short rest
And what do we see?
Two short rests.
It seems like the dream picks up
where it left off. The dog wagging its tail
lets out one excited
happy bark. And nothing else
is manifesting? No. Okay.
Let's see if she shakes the party again.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's just, I didn't have my
afternoon nap. I guess I have now.
This is very cave-like down here.
Very dreamy.
Oh, oh yeah.
Let's finish this bottle.
Yeah, Matide helps in Scrooge's Summit.
Okay, yeah.
We have to work on getting you back to sleep at night.
Yeah, I agree.
Maybe he's got apnea.
That snore was not good.
Yeah.
I know this is a long shot, but are there any, like,
I don't know, loose ribs or wooden pallets
or something that we could float on with this?
We're not in the skeleton, by the way. We're in a cave.
Correct. Did that count as a short rest? Got it.
I think a short rest is supposed to be an hour.
Not an hour. No.
To be clear, though, this liquid purple
pond is separating us from the
next. No, it's just to the south. Okay.
We have caves to the east that we can reach.
Let's go to those caves. Okay, yeah. Yeah, there's further tunnels and stuff.
Matid, hey, stop splishing and splashing.
You're going to get us in trouble, all right?
You're asleep.
Lifeguard on duty here, Chip Haney.
Hey, pleasure to meet you.
Oh, he's back awake now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I wish I had my whistle because I'd blow it at you.
All right, team, everybody, up and ready.
Let's go.
Look alive.
Look alive.
Except you, Matid.
The rocks on the ceiling, you said they look like stars?
Yeah, it's like glittering constellations embedded in the rocks.
You would have seen this too, Barney.
I didn't say it, but you were laying down.
Oh, yeah, because he was there.
That's right.
Is there like stars, constellations that we recognize?
Do there's anything we can discern from them?
Make an investigation check.
16.
One in particular looks like you can pick something out.
It looks like a group of dragons coming
out of a mouth. Oh.
It's a constellation sign. Significant. A group
of dragons coming out of a mouth?
Yeah. Mateed notices Barney
just looking straight up at the ceiling looks up as well.
Make an investigation check. Love to.
I look up as well. That's only a two.
You have no idea what Barney's talking about.
He's crazy.
Nine. It's like a two. You have no idea what Barney's talking about. He's crazy. Nine.
It's like looking at one of those old 3D posters.
You're trying to cross your eyes and trying to adjust your focus.
You can't really pick anything out.
All right.
I guess I'll look.
Look right there.
Look right there.
Can I help and point?
Yeah, make an investigation check, Elga.
Now, look.
Do you see it right there?
Those stars right there?
Let me see if I see anything.
Maybe 11.
You don't see what Barney's talking about.
Instead, you see what you think is like a humanoid holding a heart.
Maybe the heart of the dragon.
Do I recognize the humanoid?
No, since it's like a constellation, it's very broad.
There's no specific features that are easy to pick out.
It's handsome and purple with a big tail that's me so it's an image dragons coming out of a mouth
and then uh something holding a heart a humanoid can i take another gander at mine why not the
heart is the the crystal or is it like a heart it's hard to tell again it's just like stars and
a constellation i rolled a five.
Some people just can't see them, Chip.
I don't know. Personally, I always had trouble
seeing those things. I never saw them.
Yeah. I hate it. I thought people
were messing with me. I hate it. Yeah. No, I truly thought
it was like a prank. Okay.
Not seeing anything of interest,
Mateed heads to the east. You walk to
the narrow winding passages to the
east. There's a few shimmering crystals
on the wall and the caves seem to kind of
wind and split up and
reconvene and make their way down to
the south. You enter a
wide grotto with an open skylight
in the cave ceiling. A beam of
morning light pouring into the cavern.
To the south is a pond trickling with
sparkling purple fluid and to the north is a treasure
trove of valuables. In the center you see Frankenstein chained to a fluid, and to the north is a treasure trove of valley bolts.
In the center, you see Frankenstein chained to a pedestal of rock, flanked by a massive winged creature of barbed black bones blazing with purple flames who you recognize as Skelegon. Your time is almost up, you seditious spawn.
Perhaps I should slay you for your sins now, and pay another visit to your village to sprinkle your ashes.
Stein not afraid of Big Lizard? Stein save Frank Frank.
No. Please, ignore him. He doesn't know what he's saying. I beg you, don't harm anyone else.
Then tell me where the crystal is!
It's... You said he was the thief that stole the crystal.
Where is your proof?
And out from the shadow steps a large skinless person with bulging white muscles and green veins.
Cool your blazing bones, Skelegon.
This is the fun part.
You've just got to know how to play the game.
Eddie's lime green eyes glow and a wide splintered smile of jagged teeth comes across his face.
He slowly drives a claw through the sutures holding Frankenstein's face together, and the stitches start to rip one by one.
Please, somebody, help me! will they be helped we're gonna have to find out next week i don't like this eddie yeah eddie's
eddie's no good he's ripping frankenstein yeah ripping the stitches oh gosh not nice that's not
sanitary.
What's going to happen?
We'll have to find out in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
I'm going to dive right into that purple bath.
That's what I'm going to do.
Give me the purple juice.
I can't wait for you all to throw it on the rest of your party members.
I know.
I kind of want to figure out what we're dreaming of.
This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst,
written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger,
with additional editing work by David Saunier.
I also want to give a special thanks to some friends who provide voiceover for characters in this episode.
The Alchemist, voiced by BlizzBear, at
BlizzBear. Frankenstein, voiced by
Ben Ernst, at Halcyon underscore
Ben. Skelegon, voiced by Quentin
Smith, at Quix underscore 18.
And Eddie, voiced by Andrew
Rosas, at Mr. Andrew Rosas.
Tune in next time for another thrilling episode
of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.