Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Of Life & Breath - Ep. 72 - Young at Bart

Episode Date: November 23, 2022

Our Adventurer's meet up with some old friends to formulate a two-pronged plan of action to kick off Arc 7 in the Infinight Saga- Of Life & Breath!  Go to http://auraframes.com/tales to get up to $50... off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frames. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Ro in my booze. It's a mixture of basilisky and bourbon, bite berry bitters topped with lunging lime liqueur. One sip of this serpentine sauce, you'll be slicker than a flying snake oil salesman. Previously, our adventurers met a lucid Lord Lomish, sprinkled salt across Swampland and boated back to Boulderay. But the entire town was draped in darkness and subjugated by shadowy assassins. Now it seems Inku, the queen of the Shadowmane, has invited the Infinites to Tatora and teased to Bart that his parents are trapped in the Shadowmane.
Starting point is 00:00:58 Cobble a cocktail, let's fall back into this fragrant fable. Inku sounds like a Ghibli villain. Like we're about to enter like a Ghibli type. Ghibli? Ghibli? Can it go both ways? I've heard it both ways. There's one that's right, though. I just don't know which one it is.
Starting point is 00:01:20 I've been to the Ghibli museum. Ghibli. Just say that. Did you have a chance with Dijonese while you were there? That's a separate conversation for a separate time, but Dijonese does sound right. No, it does not. Dijonese. Dijonese sounds so dumb. You just made that up.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Okay, so we're good is what I'm gathering here. They both sound like names of a dog breed. It does. They do. We pick up our story with Bart. Hello. But not where we last saw him What? Flashback! Bart, roll a perception check Okay, perceiving
Starting point is 00:01:53 with my eyes 18 It feels like you're snuggled up in a nice warm blanket. You open up your eyes and you see rays of sunshine cascading through a nearby window. You notice your body is shorter and less dense than usual, and your surroundings don't
Starting point is 00:02:10 look like boulder rays. You're in a long, colorful room lined with small beds. Is this the orphanage you grew up in? You spot several windows around the room offering an idyllic view of a wooded pasture outside, and you see a single door at the southern end of the room.
Starting point is 00:02:25 Bart's about to sing The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow. Could I go towards that door? It's our nightlife. I'm at tomorrow. There it is. Yeah, you walk up to the door and it appears to be unlocked. And as you're approaching the door, you hear the sound of a baby crying and
Starting point is 00:02:48 fussing. If you need sound effects for that, by the way, I could do a baby crying. Let's get some Foley. Oh, she's good at that. That's I. I hate it. There you go. That's for you, Micah. We're so good at that. Tessa's ovaries have dried up. You hear that.
Starting point is 00:03:05 And then I realize it's coming from me. Where do I hear the baby coming from? It's somewhere on the other side of the door. You can't tell. Okay. Let's go through the door. Yeah, the door's unlocked. It opens up. It leads out into a hallway. And I kick it gently. You stub your toe. You take one point of damage.
Starting point is 00:03:22 No, no, no. You don't. It's past damage. It's past damage. damage yeah you open up the door and you're able to pinpoint the sound a lot more precisely it seems like the crying's coming from the next room over all right and it's just there's also a closed door there okay could i just quickly perceive if there's anything in this room that would give me like context for what's going on in the room that you are currently in you're currently uh that's what you rolled the perception check for that's where you saw the windows and the little beds and everything. Well, let's keep following the crying.
Starting point is 00:03:49 Yeah. I assume you want to open this door? Yes, please. Okay. This door is also unlocked. It opens up to a long room filled with tree stump cribs. Oddly enough, they don't look like they're constructed. It looks like it's natural.
Starting point is 00:04:00 Very cute. Every other crib seems to have a baby humanoid or creature sleeping soundly inside. And way at the far northern end of the room is where the crying is coming from. Let's go to the far northern end of the room. You get closer and you see that the crying seems to be coming from a crying baby half-orc with green skin and patchy black hair. It's horrifying. It's the ugliest thing you've ever seen in your whole life. He's wearing a pointed hat that doesn't fit his head, and he looks like he's distraught. Do I see if there is a name anywhere by the bed?
Starting point is 00:04:31 No. Okay. Well, I have a theory, obviously, of who this is. But let's find out. Let's find out. Sorry, you said he was crying, has a wearing hat. Yeah, it's like a pointed hat that seems to be much too big for him. Okay, can I pick him up? Yeah, why not? Let's make a strength check.
Starting point is 00:04:53 You are pretty small. Am I smaller than the baby? That's where Bart drops the baby and then explains a lot. 13? Yeah, he's very heavy for you, but you're able to pick him up. Make a perception check. Ooh, 10. As you pick him up and you're struggling to hold him, it looks like he's looking past you at the ground.
Starting point is 00:05:15 Oh, let me look down. What's on the ground? On the ground, you see a long, thick rock that he seems to be reaching towards. Bumba. Let me pick it up and hand it to the little baby. Sure. What would the baby do here? Yeah, what would this mysterious baby do in this situation?
Starting point is 00:05:31 Are you asking the group? I think someone in particular. Put the wand in his mouth. It's not a wand. The rock. Put the rock in his mouth. That's cute. What do you think about that, Bart?
Starting point is 00:05:42 I let it happen because Bart knows nothing about how to properly parent a baby. So he just goes, yeah, that seems appropriate. Well, he seems like the crying subsided once you gave him the rock and he now has it firmly in his mouth for some reason. I just I pull it out for just a second to make sure it's not hurting his teeth. If he has teeth. I don't know. Oh, no, he's still his mouth is just has gum gums in it. Oh, perfect. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:06:03 Oh, no, he's still, his mouth just has gum gums in it. Oh, perfect. Just gum gums. Okay. I kind of like gently pat him on the head and I go, good crying, baby. Thank you for not crying anymore. Do you start crying again, Gum Gum? Maybe a cry of happiness.
Starting point is 00:06:25 What does that sound like? But he's crying. You should soothe the baby. I thought he is being soothed. I shove the rock back in his mouth. Yeah, you put the rock back in his mouth. And as you do that, you know, his hat slips down and you see a little slip of paper tucked into the brim. Let me take the paper out and see what's on it. Yeah, you pull the paper out and it says gum gum.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Ah, gum gum. I feel like that's a fitting name because that's all you're going to have after sucking on this rock for the next couple of years. Going to need some braces, braces. Yeah. Make me, actually make me a, let's call another perception check. Ah, yes. Twenty five. You see nearby on one of the windowsills that there's a toy recorder that's been left out.
Starting point is 00:07:09 It's similar to the one that you've been practicing with in your free time. All right, let's go investigate this thing. I put the, make sure the baby's in the crib, not about to fall out. Yeah, the cribs are very specifically molded so that they hold the baby very securely. I want to go check out this recorder. Yeah, it seems like it's a cheaply made recorder that's stamped out, probably made, you know, in large batches for use by children to learn how to play instruments. You don't know if you've ever used this particular one.
Starting point is 00:07:36 You know that there's a bunch around the orphanage. But, you know, Gum-Gum looks like he's getting pretty sleepy. Do you think maybe you want to play him a song or a lullaby or anything? Yeah. What time of day is it? It's afternoon. Okay. I guess babies do take naps. So yeah, let me play him a little ditty on this recorder.
Starting point is 00:07:54 I'll cross buns, I assume, because that's every kid learns. Gum, gum, gum, gum. There goes the sun. Gum, gum. Fall asleep. Gum, gum. I goes the sun. Gum, gum. Fall asleep. Gum, gum. Never heard a baby snore.
Starting point is 00:08:08 This is the first song that Bart's ever written and sung to someone else. It's a Bart original. Original. As you are singing the song and Gum Gum begins creepily snoring for some reason, a small budding flower begins to slowly grow out of the crib. Its petals form the shape of a heart. Aww. And Bart goes, wow, is that for me?
Starting point is 00:08:31 Bart, you rub your eyes because you can't believe what you're seeing. And then you wake up. You see you're lying at the bottom bunk of your bed in your shared quarters with Gum-Gum at the Infinite Headquarters. What? Uh, Gum-Gum, I just, I just remembered the first time we met. Well, Gum-Gum's not in here at the moment, but- Nevermind, I'm talking to myself again. You do sit up in bed and see everything is as it should be.
Starting point is 00:08:51 The sectional, the big screen televisage, a mural of you as a prince, and GumGum's table of magical artifacts and maps. Oh man, I forgot that we made this room. And of course the little performer area of the room right a little stage okay excellent exactly as you left it yes because we haven't been back y'all have been busy so is this present day yeah you think so the memories start coming back to you you remember encountering the inkoo and the shadrow just yesterday you feel like it's the day after okay in fact all of you are waking up it's morning it's the day after. Okay. In fact, all of you are waking up. It's morning. It's the day after.
Starting point is 00:09:25 You all are in your respective rooms at the headquarters. Long rest. No, not Gum-Gum. He's not there. Gum-Gum, you're outside. I didn't see anything. You woke up early. I woke up early? Yeah. So we're back at the headquarters. Yeah. I guess this place is not
Starting point is 00:09:41 like, shrouded in darkness? Well, didn't we take care of those guys at the end of the last one? No, we got captured. I think the darkness still exists, does it not? No, the darkness is now gone. You remember that after giving you their ultimatum, the Shadrow disappeared, and the darkness disappeared with them.
Starting point is 00:09:57 Actually, everyone go ahead and make a perception check. You got it. Me too? Everyone. Yeah, yeah, sorry. Everyone. I rolled a 15. Eight. 21. 19. Okay.
Starting point is 00:10:10 It's because Gum-Gum's outside. Yeah, Gum-Gum, the reason you're outside is the source of what everyone else is hearing at this point. Everyone hears the sounds of, like, banging of hammers and wood and saws, and it sounds like construction is going on. It's what stirred you from your sleep, Gum Gum. I heard dang bangs.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Mud casts the dwarven stone of bread and casts darkness and goes back to bed. You have darkness? I have that bread thing. That casts darkness in like an area. And yeah, it's just an item I have.
Starting point is 00:10:43 It also makes the smell of bread emanate wherever it is everyone smells fresh baked bread emanating from mud's room good i just farted i needed something to mask it um could i go looking for gum gum sure uh you open up the door to your quarters and there's you know remember there's that common room where all the quarters branch off of and gum that's where gum gum is standing so yeah you'll find it pretty quick gum gum i just had the the craziest dream. I remembered the first time we met. Yeah, but what was it? I don't remember.
Starting point is 00:11:10 You probably don't remember because you were very small but it was at the orphanage. Yeah. And I made sure you had your boomba so you could fall back asleep. That's nice. You still do that. And you still suck on it. Gum Gum has the boomba in his mouth when you come out.
Starting point is 00:11:26 His teeth are just really ragged. Kyborg comes out and then he says, has anybody seen Dr. Ahem or any other Boulderians around? You all have not seen Dr. Ahem since the previous day. Since the previous day. Mud gets up and goes towards the noise that he's hearing outside and investigates what's making all that noise. Mud's awake now.
Starting point is 00:11:50 Because no one has addressed it and Mud's upset he's not sleeping, so he goes outside. A very cranky Mud shoves his way past you. Mud! Oh, that racket! Who's hammering this early in the morning? In my swamp! That's about the same
Starting point is 00:12:04 as a trick show. Well, you make your way up in the morning. In my swamp. That's about the same. You're a trick show. Well, you make your way up to the ground. I think just yelling Scottishness now just sounds like Mike Myers. You make your way up to the ground floor and head outside to find Boulderey in shambles. You see Dr. Ahem and Meld are talking to each other right outside the headquarters. You see them both nod and Dr. Ahem says, Then it's settled. We'll get started right away. And he turns to Siwa.
Starting point is 00:12:27 Ah, perfect timing. Good morning, Infinites. As you can see, Hinku's assassins, the Shadrow, left us in quite the wake of destruction. Fortunately, Mayor Brink is leading the charge and repairs with his construction company. What a good guy. Yeah, what a solid guy. Wait, wait, wait. Real friend to the Infinites. Stop that.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Stop that. He has a construction company and he's the mayor. He's profiting while still in office. We should hold him accountable. Impeach Frank Dessler! He got elected on the platform of building the Boulder Way. Remember the Boulder Way? I didn't realize I was voting for him.
Starting point is 00:13:02 The Boulder Way. This big infrastructure improvement platform. I didn't know that he was state. boulder aliens wanted this but i didn't know that he owned the construction company he made it very clear in his campaign brink doesn't know this but uh kyborg actually has a head of cabbage in his room that he thinks will last longer than right it's a british politics joke well thank you for pointing it out uh mel in. Yes, we're very lucky no one was seriously injured. But I'm afraid there is more bad news. Just before you all arrived yesterday. Tell us the good news first.
Starting point is 00:13:34 I didn't say there wasn't any good news. Just make up good news right now. Go, go, go. The good news is that no one was seriously injured. Oh. All right, tell us the bad news, Doctor. Meld. The bad news is just before you all arrived yesterday,
Starting point is 00:13:49 I received a report from Meld Beta back in Urbloom via the sending stone. Hugh Manor, my father, has escaped from his prison cell. Did he not get eaten? I thought he was dead. Remember, there was a separate timeline with Meld. That's why she said she was talking to Meld Beta. What happened to the T-Rex? T-Rex was in a separate was talking to Meld Beta. What happened to the T-Rex? T-Rex was in a separate timeline.
Starting point is 00:14:07 Correct. Oh, no. They killed the T-Rex. They're extinct. Well, for many years now. Oh, no. Oh, no. But shockingly, my father, Hugh Maynard, has escaped from his prison cell.
Starting point is 00:14:19 But evidently, he didn't break out, per se. The guards just said he vanished into thin air. He break out. Vanished. Dr. Ahem continues. Yes, yes, that's most distressing. Therefore, with the attack on the town, the looming threat of Enku,
Starting point is 00:14:36 and Hugh Manor on the loose, I have called for assistance from friends across Phaser. And that's where you all come in. Are we not your friends? Of course we're friends, Bart. But we need help. Oh. And that's why I have jobs for you. Wait, are there Infinites, but from, like, other
Starting point is 00:14:55 areas? Like, other versions of Infinites? Well, there's the other gods, but surely you don't want to call them. No. Are they good? No, we fought them. So yeah, Dr. Ahem starts addressing each of you individually. Guy Borg? The most handsome of the group.
Starting point is 00:15:12 Yes, go ahead. I need you to head to the southern gate and offer reception to a much needed friend and help Brink with some repairs around town. I'm a receptionist now and I'm helping Brink. It's a very special VIP. Whose help we need? I'm a bodyguard. So we're sending our most charismatic
Starting point is 00:15:32 individual to go meet No, no, no. He's saying I'm a bodyguard. Is this right? No, you're a reception. You're receiving someone new. Tell me I'm a bodyguard and I'll do it. You are welcoming them to Oh, good God. Can you sing a Whitney Houston song for me? He did not get that reference at all.
Starting point is 00:15:49 There's a blank look on Blaine's face. I think he's just trying to think of a Whitney Houston song. How about... There it is. Mikey, you can keep that in. There's no way we'll get copyright on that. We'll deal with these one at a time. Sure, Kaipo.
Starting point is 00:16:09 You're a bodyguard. Yes. Okay, cool. Cool. I accept. And I noticed that Dr. Ahem rolls his eyes as he says that. All right. So I assume you rushed down to the southern gate to guard some bodies?
Starting point is 00:16:22 I wanted to hear what everybody else is doing. We're going to do these one at a time. Okay. Go do your job. Fine. Fine. I wanted to hear what everybody else is doing. The only way to do these is one at a time. Okay. Go do your job. Fine. Fine. I leave. I kick him on the butt. You dodge it? Yes. Let's go. Dexterity? Just roll a d20, add your proficiency and your strength modifier. Is this a saving throw that I'm making?
Starting point is 00:16:40 Just a dexterity check. 18. I think mud gets you. 20. Yeah. Mud kicks your butt. Yes! Literally. All right, yeah. You, with a little extra speed, courtesy of mud, you make your way down to the southern gate and find it closed in front of you. Oh, oh, so we're just continuing on with me for a bit.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Yes. I keep saying this. Slide a hand. Door. Slide a hand. No, no. I open the door. There you go. You open the gate. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, who says, Smarsh, help. Yes, Smarsh, we got to protect someone. We're bodyguards now.
Starting point is 00:17:30 Maybe you're protecting Smarsh. Wait, are you? Do I protect you, Smarsh? I'm just going to point out, guys, he didn't hear a single thing you said. Apparently not. Apparently not. He didn't hear it. All he heard was you said something, and he yelled, do I get to be a bodyguard?
Starting point is 00:17:43 And that's all that's gone through his little head. Who are you talking about? Brink walks up to you and says, oh, good. You found each other. Make yourself useful and help get some lumber for the boulder ray repairs. I'll do it. But it's only because I get to hang out with Smarsh and I want to bond with him. Not because he told me to, Brink Tussler.
Starting point is 00:18:02 Smarsh, help. Yeah. All right. That's the spirit. Okay, I mount Smarsh, and then we go off to get wood. Yeah, how do you think, how would you and Smarsh best accomplish that, do you think? Uh, gathering lumber?
Starting point is 00:18:14 Yeah. Is it already cut, or do we need to do it ourselves? No, you gotta do it yourself. You gotta go out to the woods, uh, to the southwest, and, um, cut some trees down. Smarsh is like, well, he's subterranean, so I think he could just go beneath and cut the roots and then the trees would fall over.
Starting point is 00:18:30 Yeah. Yeah. And then he'll do that and then that's it. What are you gonna do to help? Yeah, then how are you gonna gather them up? Then it's like, we got a bunch of trees falling over. Shoot, let me look at my skills. I have a guess
Starting point is 00:18:45 how are you whispering into his headphones something about binding together is all I heard on that it was like out of a cartoon like that binding together no But then you have binding together. Pepsi. No. Yeah. I like grasping arrow and I got rope.
Starting point is 00:19:15 I could like probably. I also got seeking arrow. You like shoot an arrow and like gather them up and let Smarsh pull them or something. Yeah. Maybe I shoot. Okay. So I establish a zone in which we're going to take down the trees in said zone. First of all,
Starting point is 00:19:30 I go around, I knock on each tree, right? I'm yelling, I'm making sure all the squirrels and all the birds are out. And I want to make sure that Fred didn't get out and that Dr. M has been taking care of him. Yeah, yeah. Okay. That would have been established. They're in the stable.
Starting point is 00:19:45 Once we make a bunch of hooting and hollering and clearing out all the little wildlifes, then I go and I check to make sure there's any bird's nests. And if there are, I, by hand, relocate them to other trees. Make a perception check. Perception check. That is 18. Oh, yeah. I was hoping you rolled a one. I was going to tell you there were no birds in this
Starting point is 00:20:06 forest. Yeah, you find plenty of birds nests and move them yourself manually. Does he perhaps find a bat? That sounds like Robin Williams. No, there are no bats that sound like Robin Williams. Okay, just curious. While he's cutting down trees in this forest, just want to make sure. Don't get that reference. Anyways, once the wildlife is cleared,
Starting point is 00:20:22 then I with my old, you know, I was like a wood elf, right? So I wrap a rope. You are a wood elf. I was. I was raised in the woods. So I tie a knot, and then I just get a ton of rope, and I basically, like, in the area that we're going to be cutting down, tie the trees together. That way, when Smarsh drops them, they can all fall and stay together, grouped together.
Starting point is 00:20:45 Nice. And then I'm going to just kind of wrangle Smarsh to help me bundle them. Make an animal handling check to see if you're able to wrangle Smarsh successfully. Smarsh, I should have advantage on this, right? 17. Oh, yeah, it's no problem. Smarsh seems to grasp what you're doing and is very enthusiastic about it and helps. It seems like it would be a ton of work, but luckily with Smarsh's help, you make very quick work of it and get it all done.
Starting point is 00:21:08 Smarsh does help. Yeah, Smarsh helps. Smarsh helps. Smarsh gone. And then, and then I go around and I plant seeds where the trees once were. Where you get the seeds from? The trees that I just downed. They have acorns and such, right?
Starting point is 00:21:23 Yeah, I just dump all those in all the holes. I've played Minecraft. They drop seeds sometimes. Look at you. A sustainable clearing of the forest here. He used to be a wood elf. What are you now? Castle elf. Oh.
Starting point is 00:21:40 He's describing elves like an indoor-outdoor pet. My house elf. I watch out for Santa. No one give him a sock. Okay, yeah, make a nature check for me. Okay. Ooh, 17.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Okay, yeah, you managed to successfully plant the seeds and do it all correctly. You are still in touch with your wood elf origins. You gather up all the wood and make sure that more than an equal amount of trees are replanted to replenish the forest. And none of the animals are mad at you because you rolled very well. And I speak to them in their language and I go, They don't understand
Starting point is 00:22:16 anything he's saying. Let me handle this. That's terribly offensive. Yeah. He's just swearing at them. He doesn't realize it. It's like that scene in Emperor's New Groove where Kronk can speak to the chipmunk. Squeak him, squeak him, squeak him, squeak him.
Starting point is 00:22:34 All right. Do you head back to town with this? I mean, is there anything else out there? Do I perceive any, like... While I'm out there, I might as well bolster the defenses of the Infinite HQ. I mean, do I see any, like, holes in the walls? I mean, yeah, there are, you know, plenty of holes.
Starting point is 00:22:51 The town is messed up, but, you know, there is active construction happening, trying to make all of these repairs. I make a mental note, and then I want to relay this to Dr. Ham later. That way we have all of our spaces secure. Sure. And then I head back with Smarsh. Yeah, you come back with your bountiful amount of lumber, and Brink seems very happy to see Smarsh and you.
Starting point is 00:23:15 Oh, welcome back. Yeah, this will definitely help. Smarsh, I'm giving you a promotion. You are now Boulder Ray's town guard. You're going to be in charge of patrolling and protecting the borders of Boulder Ray. Smarsh guard. I give Smarsh a nice
Starting point is 00:23:31 big pat. Well done. You deserved it. I know that Brink Tussle is trying to give me a rise out of me, but I'm so proud of you, bro. Smarsh, you grew up so big. Papers. What? He wants your papers. What does that mean? He's guarding. He's working as guard. He's the guard saying, papers, please. I hope he didn't bring any foreign fruit into this place.
Starting point is 00:23:49 Have you touched livestock? Smarsh, what? All right, yeah, excellent job. Smarsh begins his job as town guard very, very happily. I like the mental image of Smarsh somehow delicately holding a tiny little stamp in his mouth. So he can approve. While all this is going on at the same time. But will you please head to the northern gates and receive Captain Marge?
Starting point is 00:24:16 She's here? Indeed. The Jebediah should be docked at the northern shores. All right. I'm on the mission. And I head north. Okay. Yeah. You head north to the northern gates and yeah,, I'm on the mission. And I head north. Okay, yeah, you head north to the northern gates, and yeah, you find Captain Marge there.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Ah, Barty Boy. Uh, so formal, you usually call me Bucko Bart. Bucko Bart? Barty Boy's formal? I'm here to report we recently visited New Valros. It was under attack by ruthless creatures we've never seen before. Oh, we've seen them. Have you?
Starting point is 00:24:49 Maybe. What did you see? We've been to New Valros before. Sure. Yeah, you actually met Captain March there. She's the one who gave you a ride back over to Bouldering. Are there new creatures attacking? Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:24:59 Oh, what kind of creatures? These creatures call themselves the Anarchs. They're red and misty, constantly twisting and flailing about. It must be hard to fight them. Oh, it is very. And we did our best. But every time we employed a new strategy, they changed tactics on us.
Starting point is 00:25:15 What seemed to do the job if you did manage to take any of them down? Oh, we didn't. Oh. Naive and goddess Andi has to lead the Valrosians and Ishbion into the ethereal plane. It's not a permanent solution, but it's keeping them safe for now. We barely escaped the shores before the entire city was decimated. That's when we received word to regroup in Boulderang with Dr. Hamm and hear his plan of attack.
Starting point is 00:25:37 Hmm. What creatures did you see? Oh, you don't want to know. They weren't red and misty, but they were yellow and blobby. Ew. Yeah, the amnusias. Ah, yes. You heard of those before? Never encountered them, but have heard of them. Probably have to ask you questions
Starting point is 00:25:54 every now and then just to make sure you're not one of them. Don't take it personally. Oh, they can impersonate? Yeah. Just do a secret handshake, Bart. Alright, here we go. A one and a two and a one, two, three. Up high, down low, in the middle, too slow.. All right, here we go. A one and a two and a one, two, three. Up high, down low, in the middle, too slow. Left, right, jazzy.
Starting point is 00:26:10 Money shot. Don't leave me hanging. Eat my shorts. That's our secret signal. Yeah. Well, I'm glad you guys made it out of there, you know, mostly unscathed. Yeah, it was tough, but we did it. We're a hearty crew. What are they doing here?
Starting point is 00:26:28 What the heck happened? I thought we were winning. Seems like everyone's under attack and like everything that we've done is being undone. We don't have all the gems and there's still that the big bad guy Entropa. There you go. Well, what are you guys doing
Starting point is 00:26:43 back here then? We answered the call from Dr. Rahem to regroup here and figure out how to counterattack and get back to New Valros. I'm glad you're here. Glad to be part of the crew once again. He salutes. What was your job on the ship again? I think I was the helmsman. All I remember is what I did. I don't remember anything.
Starting point is 00:27:02 I was the rope doctor. I was the real doctor. That's right. Yeah, I think I was like. You were the helmsman, yeah. I think I was the helms't remember anything. I was the rope doctor. I was the real doctor. That's right. Yeah, I think I was like. You were the helmsman, yeah. I think I was the helmsman. Yeah. You were steering and stuff.
Starting point is 00:27:09 You work hard, you play hard. Yeah, I was the helmsman. She tosses you a silver piece. Hey. Thanks, mom. Money, please. Is Marge mom? I mean, I guess not technically.
Starting point is 00:27:21 Okay, because the people that came and attacked said that your parents aren't drunk. But Marge isn't actually like a biological mama. I essentially like grew up on this pirate ship. Okay, that's what I thought. Pseudo-mom. Yeah. It's my favorite Pokemon. Do you have anything else you want to ask Marge about
Starting point is 00:27:38 or talk about? How's the weather out there? How big of a crew are you coming with? Oh, we have a full complement. The Jebediah is packed and ready to go. Excellent. We need all the help we could get. All right.
Starting point is 00:27:51 Well, I guess do I bring Captain Marge and the crew back? Yeah, you take Captain Marge back to see Dr. Hammond. Okay. Yeah. While Bart is off heading to the Northern Gates, Kyborg is heading to the Southern Gates. Mud, I need you to make your way to the Bouldery Brig. Which is formerly the Immerse Gateway.
Starting point is 00:28:14 You need to find Sorto. He's been spending a lot of time there lately. You should talk to him about the Bramble Box. I think he will find it intriguing, maybe even hopeful. God, what was the Bramble Box. I think he will find it intriguing, maybe even hopeful. God, what was the Bramble Box? The thing that you could build that would trap souls inside of it? It's what Sludge was trapped in until he got released.
Starting point is 00:28:33 Maybe that's a version of what Sordo's in. Well, the Bramble Box... No, Bramble Box of the Briar Orb. The Briar Orb is what he was trapped in. The Bramble Box is different. Do you want to remind them, John, if you have it in front of you? A wooden box made from briar wood with a needle-covered tree carved into it can only be opened by the Bramble box is different. Do you want to remind them, John, if you have it in front of you? A wooden box made from briarwood with a needle-covered tree carved into it can only be opened by the Bramblecrack bloodline.
Starting point is 00:28:51 Buttline. The Bramblecrack bloodline. Oh, so Clay can open it. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, it's got a white seed and a small scroll inside of it with instructions to plant and cultivate into a briarwood tree, and
Starting point is 00:29:04 the seed will eventually sprout and grow directly under the moonlight. Oh, it drops the orbs. Yes. Okay. So I need a plant. I want to plant the tree. So I go down to the brig, and I bring gumbo. Mud and gumbo.
Starting point is 00:29:17 You head over to the brig, which was, like I said, formerly the Immerse Gateway, and the air doesn't feel moist like it once did. The circular room is filled with jail cells each unique from the other one is open with frigid air pouring out you see sordo inside it looks like he's next to someone that's laying down he's in a jail cell that's got cold air flowing out of it yeah the door's open yeah there's cold air flowing yeah and there's someone on the ground yeah i investigate who's on the ground. It's his dwarven body that's on ice. It's Archie? Yeah, it's the body of Archie that's on ice in the
Starting point is 00:29:47 cell. He's preserving it. And across in one of the other cells, you spy Paralite and her cell is glowing with purple Sangria Knight. Wait, like the real Paralite? Mm-hmm. Gumbo starts growling. You all caught her and brought her back. I didn't realize she was right here.
Starting point is 00:30:04 She's allergic to... That's why it's keeping her... It's like holding Superman in a kryptonite prison. Oh, okay. Exactly. Still like, here's your cancer cell, I guess. I don't know. He's a bad guy. The Geneva Convention might have something to say about it, but that's in a different plane. Yeah. What?
Starting point is 00:30:19 Okay. I approach Sorto. He seems a little startled, like, oh, oh, oh, hello, Mud. Hey, Sordo. Sorthro. Sorthro. Hey, Sordo. Have we quite figured out how to get you into your body yet?
Starting point is 00:30:34 Not yet, but I've been sitting here trying to analyze all the possibilities, and I still haven't yet come up with a solution. Do you even recall how you got into the orb that you're in right now? I was placed here through magics by Entropa. Oh, that's right. And Dr. Ahem has not figured out how to reverse that, I assume. Correct. That's a bummer.
Starting point is 00:30:54 Yeah, I really miss my body. It's worse right there. Let's take a look. You already have a look. Do you? You already have a description. I was going to give you one. That's just really funny. Well, I'd love to try to help if there's anything I can do.
Starting point is 00:31:16 Dr. Rahim said you acquired an item that might be of help with this. Oh, yeah, it actually might. I have a seed that needs planted that could bear fruit that might help. Would you mind showing it to me? Sure. It says John distrusting Gus. Yeah, I pull out the bramble box and open it up and show him the seed. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:31:36 Perhaps we should try planting it together. I think we should. It's got a few specific instructions on who to plant it and I am not stalling at all while I find the instructions. I've got them in front of me. Step one! Speak to the seed in its native tongue, which I have.
Starting point is 00:31:52 Whisper words of encouragement and nourishment. I go up to it and I go, You're the baddest b**** ever. But we believe out what I said. Okay. And then I carefully plant the seed in loamy soil. Hey, Sorto, do you know what loamy
Starting point is 00:32:08 soil is? It's like a rich, fertile soil. Yes, alright. Second question. Do you happen to know when the next full moon is, perhaps? Not for a while. It's definitely a couple weeks away. Don't you have access to a demiplane where a full moon... I'm really appreciating how much you know my inventory
Starting point is 00:32:23 more than me. Have I ever said that, Sorto? Yes, I in fact have the thing that I knew at the time was where I was going to plant it. Would you like to go, me too? Yes, I would love to go. We're going to my... What is it? Cloak of Secluded Garden. This is what happens
Starting point is 00:32:40 when you give me too many items in one arc. Alright, you all heard it. No more items for anyone. Oh, you ruined it for the whole class. If you need a spare hand, Parallelite's happy to help. Yeah. It's like the one kid in class, you're like, teacher, you left the map up on the board
Starting point is 00:32:53 during this geography test. One time when we were in third grade, the bell rang and our teacher wasn't there and there was no substitute. And I went to the office to tell them we didn't have a teacher. And everyone in the class tried to stop me. So if you're ever curious if I've been a stick in the mud my entire life,
Starting point is 00:33:08 your answer's right there. I went to the office and I was like, excuse me, principal, we don't have a teacher. Excuse me. I remember. Actually. I got really good at asking questions at the end of class so that the teacher would get distracted and not assign homework. And kids would be like, do the thing.
Starting point is 00:33:23 And I'd be like, okay. Do the thing. Okay, yeah. So you open up be like, do the thing. And I'd be like, okay. Do the thing. Okay, yeah. So you open up your cloak, you activate it? Yes. Trying to find something that would be fun to... Okay, yeah. I was trying to figure out something.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Because there's an instruction here that says I have to... There's a command that I have to have with it. And so I say my command. Ça c'est bon. I don't know what that is. It means that's good. And yeah, so we go in there and we're in there. Okay.
Starting point is 00:33:53 The space is not huge, about 50 by 50 feet, but it's comfortable. It's not like it's tight or anything. How do you set? So the light, the temperature, humidity, it's all altered by you. How do you want this environment to be? I want to mimic the bayou as much as possible.
Starting point is 00:34:09 You know, humid, humid. Humid, damp, muggy. Just ripe for greenery. It really does feel just like home. And the soil is magical. It seems very rich in minerals. Not like minerals you could mine, but like minerals that help plants grow. I look at Gumbo and I go, all right, dig.
Starting point is 00:34:35 And I make Gumbo make a little hole for the seed. Gumbo begins digging. He digs past the multiple truffles, tossing them to the side. I take him and eat him. And you have a pretty good sized hole very quickly. Alright, I plant the seed. Was there anything else I had to do? Let me look to see if there were any more
Starting point is 00:34:51 instructions. Carefully plant the seed in loamy soil under a full moon. I make sure it's a full moon in my thing. And I have to dampen the soil with a mixture of water and ground. Oh, coffee berries, basically. Arabica. Arabica. I don't know if I have. Hey, Sorto, where. Arabica. Arabica. I don't know if I have. Hey, Sorto, where
Starting point is 00:35:08 do we hold out the coffee? I think you were given coffee. Yeah, you have coffee. I think you do. It was when we were stealing it from Pius Pass. Don't you have like special coffee that's like a No, I have the special salt, but I do have coffee. Yeah, you were given coffee. I remember that. Okay, then I do that. Oh, Sorto,
Starting point is 00:35:24 would you mind uh watching the tree for me if you don't mind watching my body deal okay all right can i just bring the body in here well that's not an ice though could i make a part of the place on ice i think the and does that have to be the whole thing it all has to be the entire thing yeah it has to be the entire okay i'll watch the body okay i'm gum and cast some mice wizard spell. Okay. Yeah, you plant the seed. And as you're talking with Sordo, you know, you work all this out. And you turn back and look at it.
Starting point is 00:35:52 And you see that a small sapling has already started to grow. Yay! Oh, wow. That was rather quick, wasn't it? It's a bit quick. I wonder if it's supposed to be that quick. Yeah, it's like three times the speed of normal growth. It is? It will grow up to birds, trees, leaves will appear, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:36:05 It doesn't say that. I think you're talking about the dimension that you're in. Yeah, the dimension. Is that Soto's new body? Are we talking like Ant-Man quantum level rules here? I was thinking more Dragon Ball Z, but... No, it doesn't say that. It doesn't say that? Dragon Ball Z. Yeah, alright.
Starting point is 00:36:22 Where did I get that from? The soil in this space is magical and rich in minerals, which causes plants and trees to grow three times as fast. I knew there was a three times. Did you say that in the description? I think I even said that. I just forgot. I had to send me the message.
Starting point is 00:36:36 I remembered it. Or a piece of it, at least. There it is. Sorry. I glossed over it. Yep. Also Dragon Ball Z. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Also Dragon Ball Z. Obviously. Dragon, Dragon Ball. Yep. Also Dragon Ball Z. Yeah. Also Dragon Ball Z. Obviously. Dragon, Dragon Ball. My favorite D&D campaign. Oh, hey. So you only leave Sordo in here, not Gumbo. You take Gumbo with you? Yeah, I take Gumbo.
Starting point is 00:36:52 Okay. Yeah, you exit your personal space. You exit your secluded garden, and you're back in the icy jail cell. I say, ça c'est bon, and bring the cloak back to myself. Is Sordo trapped in there? Mud, as you speak your command word and the cloak turns back to normal, Sordo's spear shoots out of the cloak and hits the jail cell wall.
Starting point is 00:37:09 Well, I guess I can't stay in there after all. I'm just going to take a little nap here. From across the way, Paralyte asks, So, did you kill him? Shut up. No talking, prisoner. What's your problem? Well, you went in there with Sordo and came back by yourself.
Starting point is 00:37:28 It's going to come as a surprise to you, I'm sure, but not all of us want to kill each other constantly. She just stares at you with deep black eyes. I stare back. She begins rubbing the disfigured half of her face. I giggle. So what's going on in the world? Everything's fine.
Starting point is 00:37:46 Everything's under control. And you've caused nothing. Sounds like a lot of construction out there. Yes, they're building up the city. Up? Because it is doing so well and the economy is in such a good place that business is booming. Make a deception. And I bill business is booming. Make a deception.
Starting point is 00:38:05 And I billow my cloak. Make a deception check. Billow your cloak. Oh, no. But it's a charisma check, right? Yeah, it is. So I get advantage because I billowed my cloak.
Starting point is 00:38:17 Oh. You and your cloak of many colors. 11. 12. 12. She rolls a 19 on her insight. Dang. Yeah, that doesn't sound very likely.
Starting point is 00:38:26 But then Gumbo rolls for deception. And he says, no, no, no. That's adorable. Well, don't forget, if you need any help with whatever's going on, I can clean up any messes you left. Mud's read a lot of folklore books that are illustrated and knows that it never works out when you team up with the villain to do things. She says that's why I didn't team up with you I didn't say that
Starting point is 00:38:52 Oh okay. That's my internal monologue. Shots fired And Gumbo starts chuffing at her Ooh how does that sound? It's Gumbo Yeah I'm like pseudo holding him back and just letting him like that. All right.
Starting point is 00:39:11 Is there anything else you need to get done down here? I make a hand gesture that is only offensive to the Bramblecrack people. I won't describe it right now for our audience, but it's a hand gesture to show her how I feel when I leave. I love your shorts. Incredibly offensive. Can you show it to us hand gesture that to show her how I feel. I love your shorts. Incredibly offensive. Can you show it to us because we can see it? Yeah, yeah. No, we won't describe it. That's a secret for the Dramapack people.
Starting point is 00:39:32 I can't believe you did that. Both hands are getting used to it. Yikes. Hail and well met, Stinky Dragon patrons. Just a reminder to head over to at StinkyDragonPod on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok, where you can watch animatic videos, puppet videos, and other fun D&D content. Plus, the first two soundtracks of the show are now available on your favorite music streaming platforms, composed by Micah Reisinger, which include the character songs for Mud and Gum Gum.
Starting point is 00:40:03 Also want to give a shout out to our Stinky Dragon subreddit and Discord community for all the work they've been doing on building a wiki page for the show. You can find it at StinkyDragon.Fandom.com. It's folks like these that post on social media using hashtag StinkyDragonPod that we name NPCs in the show after them. What kind of NPCs you might be asking? Well, Lizard the Gnoll Witherlings, named after At-Eliz-Tat. Melkins the Gnoll Witherling, named after At-Maddy the Giant. Talon the Prickup, named after At-T. Melkins the Gnoll Witherling, named after at Maddy the Giant. Talon the Prickup, named after at Talon Tardis.
Starting point is 00:40:28 Maddy the Prickup, named after at Magical Madoka. And Val the Prickup, named after at V Stymack. The holidays are right around the corner. One of the first things that comes to mind for me is holiday shopping. I'm sure it probably comes to mind for you too.
Starting point is 00:40:43 Most of the time it's fun, but when it comes to shopping for folks like, you know, my parents, it's such a struggle to find a meaningful gift they'll actually love. And I mean, I mean, they're my parents. I'm sure you feel the same way, right? The least you can do is get them a nice gift. Well, our new sponsor, Aura Frames, has just about the perfect solution for holiday gift giving this year. If you're anything like me, you probably take about a million photos only to let them sit on your phone or get lost in your files. With Aura Frames, you can put all your photos from the random camera roll pics to high-res wedding photos onto one beautiful frame. Named the best digital picture frame by Wirecutter, The Strategist, and more,
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Starting point is 00:41:54 ever. So get yours now before they sell out. Terms and conditions apply. Again, that's auraframes.com slash tails. all right while all of that is going on gum gum uh you're also assigned a task hi gum gum i require assistance from you with something in my lab we're trying to split an atom i have these coloring books and they need to be filled. Can I meet you at the mall? We are meeting up with Meld, Atten, and Dant for a special assignment. Would you mind accompanying me to my lab now? Yes, sir. Okay, and I start walking up north.
Starting point is 00:42:38 So Gum-Gum, you and Dr. Ahem begin making your way to the lab. And when you enter the lab, in the center of the stone room is Meld and Atten and Dant, just like Dr. Ahem said. And they're tinkering with none other than the valet. Remembered valet, Dr. Ahem's automaton assistant that you all fought once when you were first doing your training? Hi. Who do you say hi to? I guess valet and the others. Hi, hi, hi. Meld, Atten, and Dant all seem a little startled, but valet does not move.
Starting point is 00:43:03 Dr. Ahem says, We've been working on a project to convert Valet into something more useful. An armored suit that will protect me and offer additional mobility. Cool. Oh, neater. Mecha, Dr. Ahem. But we need your help, Gum-Gum. Uh-huh. We need to secure a power source for the suit.
Starting point is 00:43:24 Mmm, power. Yes, Gum- to secure a power source for the suit. Power. Yes, Gum Gum, power. Do you have any ideas for something that could continually power the suit? Continually power the suit. You have Iron Man's heart somewhere in there. Any spare arc reactors? Let me think. But they have that because she's in a cell down there with it.
Starting point is 00:43:46 What kind of power does it, like, where does the power go? Does it, like, eat it? No, it just continually draws from it. It's not fuel. Coloring book, perhaps. Something that continually generates power that can be harnessed. Boom, boom. Boom is just a rock.
Starting point is 00:44:01 Don't tell Gum-Gum that. Does Dr. Ahem evolve into Dr. Echu when he's like in the middle? Get out. Kyborg falls over, dead. Struck down. He takes 120 points of hit damage. 121 HP. What do you got?
Starting point is 00:44:19 I don't know. I'm looking at what I got. He's on page 3 of 85 on his inventory. I can guide you. I'm just curious to see what you came up with. If you came up with anything. I was looking. I think the only thing I have is one of my staffs. My Javelin of Lightning, my Rainbringer staff
Starting point is 00:44:34 or my... Javelin of Lightning sounds like it could have some energy. It's only once per long rest. Is that not okay to use right now? Well, they said they need something that continually provides power. Perhaps some broken arcane magic that you have recently acquired? I know what you're talking about,
Starting point is 00:44:50 Gum-Gum doesn't. I don't know what you're talking about. Do you have any powerful stones on you? Do you want to be able to make flowers? No, we need to make magical energies. Okay, I have a wand that can do that. I'm not going to make this. I call it Boomba.
Starting point is 00:45:08 Oh, Boomba. I'm not going to make this easy on you guys. No, no, not that. No? Too powerful? Too powerful? Yes, that's it. That would overload our suit.
Starting point is 00:45:21 Oh, yeah. Here, why don't I have a look? Okay. Let me figure this out for you. Here I have some... Here's a pillow that I found in a cave. No, that powers you, Gum-Gum. Okay.
Starting point is 00:45:35 Here's a whistle that doesn't work. I don't know. Sorry. Here, let me just get rid of this staff that's broken. Wait, wait. What about that? That broken staff? Oh, this is... That's magic staff. That's broken. Wait, wait, what about that broken staff?
Starting point is 00:45:46 That's magic staff. That's it. Perhaps we can harness this energy to power the suit. Okay, I was gonna turn it into a magic staff, but okay. Okay, uh, there's like an open slot in the suit. For clarification, this is Zeus' broken staff. Yeah, the broken staff.
Starting point is 00:46:02 Okay, got it. Dr. M hands the broken staff fragments over to Meld, Atten, and Dent. They quickly fuse the fragments together and place them inside a small cavity in the center of the suit. Now, to turn it on for the first time, we need a jump start from a powerful wizard. I can jump. No, not an actual jump, Gum-Gum. We need a powerful burst of electricity courtesy of a powerful wizard. Okay.
Starting point is 00:46:27 I can do that with my magic javelin of lightning. Oh. It's magic. Are you a powerful enough wizard to use that gum gum? Yes, I am. Lightning. Lightning. I want that to be a text tone.
Starting point is 00:46:43 That's how long it wraps from this. And then I try and light lightning it. Or is that ready? Yeah. The bolt of lightning strikes the suit and it begins whirring, lighting up. Eureka. We've done it. Yes.
Starting point is 00:46:57 Excellent work, Gum-Gum. Here, as a token of my appreciation, let me give you this. He gives you a small vial that says this, my friend, is draconic decoction. Oh my goodness. Don't worry, don't worry. It has been reverse engineered to transform the drinker
Starting point is 00:47:16 into a dragon. Oh, it's the plots of T'Bullions. Yeah. The T'Bullions stuff, yeah. Is there enough for all of them? Oh no. I'm afraid there's only enough for one use. Can you make more? We can. It just takes a long time. Okay. How do we go about that?
Starting point is 00:47:32 We wait, Gum-Gum. Okay. Bye-bye. This is for you. Bye-bye. A fair warning, Gum-Gum. It's not a permanent transformation. It's a very limited window, so make sure the time is right when you want to use it. How long? It's hard to say. It depends. Anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes. And it only works on my friends,
Starting point is 00:47:54 the Booleans? No, it can work on you. Oh. It can work on anyone who drinks it. Neat. We're working out the magics and reverse engineering it. I didn't even think about that, that a flying snake, if you add arms and legs, is just basically a dragon. Trogdor. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:10 Trogdor, yeah. Alright. Bye-bye. I like to imagine Gum-Gum says bye-bye, then runs off. Okay, bye-bye. Like Naruto runs? Yeah. Nope, that was it. Bye-bye. He got valet started.
Starting point is 00:48:26 And I jump out. Jump out of the lab? Well, I guess I'll run out the door and then jump. Don't jump out any windows again. Remember what happened last time. I jump start. Oh, gotcha. You jump start.
Starting point is 00:48:36 Okay, it's fresh in your mind. I was like, yo, Captain Marge. All right, cool. Come down with me. Yeah, you all reconvene at the town square. Tremendous work, everyone. Now, if you're all finished, we should head to the dock straight away. And is Dr. Ham wearing this mech suit now?
Starting point is 00:48:54 They're working on getting him into it now. Like, as you leave, they're, you know, still tinkering with it, getting final preparation stuff. Is he going to be able to walk when he wears this? I don't know. We'll find out. Dr. Ham is the robot now. A lot of people don't know this, but Tales of the Sinky Dragon is actually just the origin
Starting point is 00:49:07 story of Master Chief. So you guys head north as a high noon sun peeks through some clouds overhead. You pass the gates and Captain Marge leads you down a path toward the shoreline. As you near the water, you recognize Bart's old ship, the Jebediah, being restocked. You all make your
Starting point is 00:49:24 way aboard and notice the ship's complement is fuller than usual. You look around and see some familiar faces beyond the normal crew, such as Meld, Duncan, Besler, Dr. Ahem, who shows up suited up in his new armor. There you go. Is he walking? Yes. Anyway. Dr. Ahem turns to Captain Marge and she gives him a nod.
Starting point is 00:49:41 Are you going to add some like... I'm walking around. We got it. I'm just providing all the sound effects today for you. Walk up to Dr. Hone and say, What's the matter? Baldur has you pushing dirty pencils. And then I take my robot arm and I clasp it onto his robot arm
Starting point is 00:49:58 in, like, a high-five kind of manly situation. And there's a close-up of it. Dylan! Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah. He says, Kaiborg, you son of a witch! Yeah. Doctor, him clears his throat. If I could have
Starting point is 00:50:16 everyone's attention. He feels very on brand. Here is the plan. We set sail for the land of Teterra. Once there, the goal is to do everything we can to get the Infinites past the border. We will most likely be met with resistance, as they only allow people with draconic blood inside. That's why Duncan and I are here. We were both born in Tetera, but Duncan has spent more time there than I. We will disguise the Infinites and Duncan will go with them as a cultural guide. Once inside, the Infinites will
Starting point is 00:50:54 search for Inku and put a stop to whatever she's doing in Tetra. We don't know if her claim about Bart's parents is true or not, so you will need to investigate that as well. We had hoped to take Soto with us, but no one seems to know where he is. Say something. Just whistling and twiddling my foot. While the
Starting point is 00:51:18 five of you are in Tetera, the rest of us will be heading northward to Erblum to find and capture Hugh Manor. I believe it is no coincidence that he escaped prison at such a time as this, and he is too dangerous to be ignored. Both teams will stay in contact via Sending Stone and will regroup once our missions are complete.
Starting point is 00:51:39 Any questions? Questions! Yes, Kyborg. Hey, Kyborg here. Who's watching Paralyte? The Bouldery Guborg. Hey, Kyborg here. Who's watching Paralyte? The bouldery gods. The unnamed city guards.
Starting point is 00:51:50 What about Smarsh? Yes, the bouldery gods are led by Smarsh. Okay. Next question before we leave. Can I say goodbye to Smarsh? Absolutely, Kyborg. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:51:59 I leave the group really quick. All right. You run back up. Smarsh sees you approaching the town and says, who goes there? It's me. It's Kyborg. It's your best friend, Smarsh. Let approaching the town and says, Who goes there? It's me. It's Kyborg. It's your best friend, Smarsh. Let's do our secret handshake. Okay.
Starting point is 00:52:09 He's a worm. Everyone's going to have secret handshakes. Give him good pets. He has to do it with his tongue. How about you just chest bump him? Yeah, a chest bump him. Oh, okay. How much damage does that do?
Starting point is 00:52:20 Make a strength check. All right. 13. Yeah, Smarsh is very solid, but you managed to land on your feet. You avoid getting knocked on your butt. You felt like you... Smarsh is so powerful,
Starting point is 00:52:34 you almost got knocked all the way to Totora. That's cool. All right, catch you later. Be safe. Then Smarsh gets back to circling the town. That's awesome. Are there any other questions? I don't think so, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:45 We're going to sneak in. We need dragons. No, we're going to be smuggled in by Duncan. Oh, I speak Draconic, so I'll be actually useful on this mission. Oh, that's true. Sweet. We'll see if you can make the checks.
Starting point is 00:52:57 Besler chimes up and says, in the meantime, you four need to follow me. And Besler starts making his way down to the lower deck of the ship. Besler, buddy. We follow. Good old buddy, buddy. He's not in of the ship. Bezler, buddy. We follow. Good old buddy, buddy. He's not in disguise? No. Oh, okay. Wow.
Starting point is 00:53:11 He's become more comfortable around us. Good. I cast Polymorph and make him look like something else. Who's this? I don't think Gum-Gum hasn't seen him since in non-disguise since episode one. Who is you? Hi, I'm Gum-Gum. What's your name? It's me, Baszler. We met.
Starting point is 00:53:26 Oh, hi. I helped you fix your wagon when your wheel fell off. Oh. Bart stole my tool. That's right. Yeah, but I gave it back. That'd be really cool to see that in puppets. To see that story in puppets form.
Starting point is 00:53:39 Yeah, just a little shout out. We did that clip as a puppet version. So we released that on at StinkyDragonPod on all of our social channels. What a plug. Someone actually sent a pretty good suggestion via Twitter for another one. And so I'm going to say we're open to suggestions
Starting point is 00:53:56 for other spots in the story or audio clips that you think would be good for puppets. Anything you want us to recreate in puppet form. Yeah. Think good like one minute kind of clips or that could be cut down to like a tight one minute. If you don't give us good suggestions we'll just puppet this very clip that we're saying right now.
Starting point is 00:54:12 Almost like I had Bart and Marge do a handshake thinking it would be funny to see that portrayed as a puppet. With like an eye patch. That's funny. Alright, so you all follow Bezler? Yeah. Sure. Okay, yeah, you all follow Bezler down to the cargo hold, and he stops at a large crate and opens it up.
Starting point is 00:54:29 No pretense this time. I've had a change in heart, or whatever. He looks down at his feet. You have a heart? Anyway, I'm retiring from my less-than-legal practices and now walking the path of the straight and narrow. Cool. So I brought my last stash of supplies and I can upgrade your gear again.
Starting point is 00:54:52 Who wants to go first? Do we have any, has Dr. Ahem given us any like pay in a bit? It's been a while since we've gotten pay. Oh, this is all on the house. Oh, dang. Oh my goodness. We must go to the roof. Mud opens up his garden and just shoves everything into the garden.
Starting point is 00:55:07 It's not quite like that. This is upgrades for some of your items. Yeah. All right. Who has to go first? Mud's going first. And he's definitely the first person we said who should go first. So Mud, you have the options to upgrade your shield to a shield of Fortifana.
Starting point is 00:55:21 Yeah. Your signet ring can be upgraded to a ring of familiar bond or you can also upgrade your signet ring instead to a ring of cheeky guidance oh man i was actually gonna go with the ring of cheeky guidance because it gives the the guidance a plus two to it it's also a funny name it is for how you approach this but i i just reread the things that you can do with the ring of familiar bond, the charges. And I like the idea of making a large gumbo. Am I reading that correctly? That it would enlarge?
Starting point is 00:55:51 Yeah. Okay. Then I'm going to go with the ring of familiar bond and upgrade my signet ring, which will allow me to perform the bind familiar ritual because now gumbo and I will have matching rings. Yeah. It's adorable. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:03 Because now Gumbo and I will have matching rings. Yeah. It's adorable. Yeah. His is more like a bracelet. And basically, my familiar will, I mean, he already obeys my commands, but he can take part in combat and I can telepathically, wait. He can take part in combat as a bonus action on your turn. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:19 He's a bonus action. I can communicate with him telepathically. And then the ring has three charges that I can expend one charge to do the following as a bonus action. I can sense through my familiar senses until my next turn. I can grant my familiar 10 temporary hit points for one minute, or I can use enlarge
Starting point is 00:56:35 and enlarge or reduce, use the spell on the familiar. Yeah, you can only use the enlarged portion of the spell. Oh, okay, cool. You cannot use the reduced portion. So it would double his size in all dimensions and multiply his weight by eight i've been wanting to let gumbo participate in combat more but i've been scared to have him participate in combat because gus is blood you know yeah he's bloodthirsty but this allowed me
Starting point is 00:57:00 to let gumbo kind of fight and not and be a little less scared so i like that okay so i'm gonna take the ring of familiar bond all right sounds good bart scared. So I like that. Okay, so I'm gonna take the Ring of Familiar Bond. All right, sounds good. Bart, do you know what you want? I sure do. So Bart has the options of upgrading the Ring of Truth telling to a Ring of Truth zone, an upgrade to the Wand of Magic detection to become a Wand of Magical Means, or an upgrade for your loot to make it a Loot of Laughable Levity.
Starting point is 00:57:20 I'm gonna do the loot. I get the Loot of Laughable Levity. And what does that do for you? Now I could expend one charge as a bonus action to play the instrument and cast the following spells. Calm emotions, levitate, and a new one, gaff of gaggery, which is when you cast the spell, you eloquently remold the memories of listeners in your immediate vicinity so that each creature of your choice within five feet of you forgets everything you or an ally just said within the last six seconds and replace it with a joke or punchline of your choosing. It's a men in black thing.
Starting point is 00:57:54 The joke or punchline is the verbal component of the spell. Well, you need to attune this to yourself, Bart. Uh-huh. In order to attune yourself for this upgrade, you must play the lute while telling a joke that gets someone to laugh. Can I do that right now? If you want to do it right now, you can. All right, everybody. Bart's telling us a joke.
Starting point is 00:58:11 I'm going to specifically tell this one to Gum Gum. Yeah, easiest crowd. What does a baby computer call his father? Data. Data. Yeah. I don't get it. It is now attuned and yours
Starting point is 00:58:28 Alright, loot of lackable levity. Alright, Mud and Bart are done. Who wants to go next? I'll go next Alright, Kyborg, you can upgrade Elven Eiros You can upgrade your Arm Cannon of Everwinter or you can upgrade your Long
Starting point is 00:58:44 Bow of Crystallina to a your longbow of Crystallina to a longerbow of Crystallina. Lame. So with the Elven arrows, I'll let the crew know this so that they can kind of make a decision for me, with me, if they would like to chip in. One of them is like I get plus two bonus attack
Starting point is 00:58:59 with the special arrows. I get three charges, so I get three of these arrows per long rest. And then it also reveals a 30-foot sphere. It's the Hanzo arrows from Overwatch. Oh, cool. So that's that. Our arm cannon of Everwinter just gives, like, what?
Starting point is 00:59:12 3d6 bludgeoning damage, 3d6 cold damage. Yeah, 3d10 cold damage. Yeah, 3d10, and it doesn't require ammunition, but it does require its one charge per long rest. And the longbow of Kristalina, it's upgraded because I can now change who my sworn enemy is. Clarification on that.
Starting point is 00:59:29 So if someone doesn't, if they become your sworn enemy, but don't die. Right. Do I still have disadvantage on all the other enemies? Yeah, once you've chose a sworn enemy, you have disadvantage when attacking anyone else. But as a bonus action,
Starting point is 00:59:43 you can change who your sworn enemy is. That's the whole point. Is that now you can change it. You can hop it around. Also new while my sworn enemy lives it has advantage on attack rolls against me. So it's kind of like reckless attack for a barbarian. Yeah. As long as you're fighting from a distance you're fine. Yeah. Unless they're at a distance too.
Starting point is 01:00:00 What are you going to do? I don't know. Which one of you guys thinks that sounds cool? Who's thinking what sounds cool? I'm leaning towards the longbow. Do the longbow. I do feel bad? I don't know. Which one of you guys thinks that that sounds cool? Who's thinking what sounds cool? I'm leaning towards the longbow. Do the longbow. I do feel bad that I don't use my mom's longbow, so I'm going to upgrade the longbow. All right. It is now a longer bow of crystallina.
Starting point is 01:00:16 Okay. And then in order to attune it, I must be a blood relative of crystallina. Check. And I must cut a lock of one's hair off and braid it into the bow. And I do that. I take my long sword and I snip a little part out and then I just do arts and crafts. All right, do you assume like down at the bottom?
Starting point is 01:00:36 Maybe into the handle. I don't know. I tell Gumbo to grab the hair. Stop it. He's like a cat with a thing, like a claw. But then you enlarge him. You just take the bow away from Kyborg. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:48 All right, GumGum, you're up. You can upgrade your battle axe to become a balancing axe. You can upgrade your staff of flowers to a staff of friendly flowers, or you can upgrade your friendship bracelets to BFF bracelets. I'm thinking either the staff of flowers so I can cast friends once for a long rest or the balancing axe, which I think is better than the friendly backs of kindness because I can. This just seems like more useful or procs more often, at least because it's on every hit. I do want friendly flowers, though.
Starting point is 01:01:16 This is the last one, huh? This is your upgrade. This is the last one from Bezler. Take your upgrade. I guess I'll do the balancing axe. Okay. And I ask Bezler, is there a way to make guess i'll do the balancing axe okay and i asked bezler is there a way to make this axe bigger the balancing axe yeah like a balancing axe that's like my old big
Starting point is 01:01:32 axe he scratches his head and says yeah perhaps if we find the blacksmith who can elongate and maintain the arcane energies of the axe that's? Oh, perhaps. Is she a blacksmith? Yes. She's on the boat, too, but there's no smith on the boat. But we have a smith. I thought Meld was a woodworker. She does both. Oh, okay. She was like a general crafts person who tried to learn all the different crafts. Convenient.
Starting point is 01:01:57 Alright, I guess I'll do the balancing axe because I think that's pretty cool. I'm so excited to ruin you guys' day with something I just discovered with my attack. You're not going to ruin our day, though, right? No, I'm going to ruin Micah and Gus' day. You're going to ruin our day all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:10 Though in order to attune yourself to this axe, Gum-Gum, you need to walk on your tiptoes for 24 hours. It's going to be very difficult on a boat. I will do my best. I hope you have your seat toes. Your calves are going to be busting at the end of this. Busting. Busting. Busting.
Starting point is 01:02:26 Busting. And of course, on top of the upgrades, you're welcome to any consumables as well that Bezler has with him. For frees. Since Bezler is retiring, he's offering each of you one or two items from his stash for free, but the rest is being used for the mission in Urbloom. Oh, well, that changes everything. I didn't even bother looking at the list because I had no money. Can I just go ahead and call out the two items I'd like?
Starting point is 01:02:46 Absolutely. Okay. If no one's got a problem with this, I'd love to take the eggless of equipping, which is a druid item, so I doubt any of you really wants it. This is from NovaRogue13. Thank you very much. You submitted it on the RT site. And it's a little wooden necklace that's in the shape of an egg.
Starting point is 01:03:02 While I'm in wild shape, the necklace remains on my neck. And as a bonus action, I can actually recall one of the items for my equipment. Because when I turn into an animal, I don't have access to it. So that's kind of nice. And then it's good for once for long rest. Yeah. Yeah. So doing that.
Starting point is 01:03:19 And then I'm also, since everyone is reading through stuff right now and I can just say whatever I want, And then I'm also, since everyone is reading through stuff right now and I can just say whatever I want, I'm going to take the Waste of Time, which is a tattered belt that once for long rest grants the user automatic success on a skill check with the best possible outcome. However, this check cannot advance the plot. You want to do some flirting? You want to perform some acrobatics? Sure, why not? As long as it wastes everyone else's time. As long as we have fun along the way. Which I think was supposed to be a dig at Kyborg, but I'm taking this.
Starting point is 01:03:48 And this is from Jordo AIG from Twitter. Thank you so much, Jordo. And I'm taking these to my equipment now. Nice. Those are good items. I like them. Anybody else? I see Chris and Barb, you both have some stuff selected.
Starting point is 01:04:00 Yeah, Chris, if you want to go next. Can I get the cockadoodle collar? Once for a long rest, a character can blow into this gilded bone horn. A magical chicken appears in a location of their choosing within 30 feet of the user. All hostile creatures within 10 feet of the chicken must succeed on a DC
Starting point is 01:04:15 15 wisdom save or be inexplicably frightened of it for one minute. The chicken can speak common and will offer a single piece of advice should it be asked to do so. Once it is given a piece of advice for one minute passes, the chicken disappears into a puff of green smoke. That sounds like a Chris item. That sounds like a gum gum item. And that item was submitted by KingKaiju7567.
Starting point is 01:04:36 Very cool. And then the other one, the Laz Reverse Elixir of Reversal. When consumed, allows the players to swap their highest and lowest modifiers. The player must consider the consequences as these effects last until the player's next long rest once used only so this last river's elixir of reversal what what would that do to me it swaps your highest and lowest modifier let's see so it just make me really dumb probably make you really smart it would swap your intelligence and either your strength or constitution. So your strength would get low and your intelligence would get high. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:05:08 I think it'd make me dumb. Maybe. Take it. Take it quick. So you can understand. All right. I'll get back. All right.
Starting point is 01:05:15 It's one use only. And that's from at Usher Adam. Barb, I see you got someone here. Yeah. So I'm looking at this key mimic. Seems like it could be pretty handy for the team to have. It's kept in a sturdy jar. This tiny key mimic takes the shape of a brass key. If used on a lock, the key mimic will attempt to devour the insides of the lock, creating a loud noise audible up to 90 feet away.
Starting point is 01:05:38 If the DC of the lock is less than 15 after 1D6 minutes, the lock will be destroyed. than 15 after 1d6 minutes the lock will be destroyed and the key mimic can be returned to the jar if the DC is 15 or higher roll a d20 on the 10 or less the key mimic fails to destroy the lock bites the user for 1d10 damage and runs away
Starting point is 01:05:55 say goodbye to kyborg being the only person who can endorse there you go or chests um and I don't know if I'm allowed to get two yeah I just want to give a quick shout out that was submitted by Mike Kern. Yeah. That's a funny item. I like that item.
Starting point is 01:06:08 It's a great item. Yeah, I love it. All right, what else you got? And then I would like to get the basket of Arcana mana. Did you want that? No, no, no, no. I was worried there was something else you were going to go for.
Starting point is 01:06:15 Okay. It's a basket of three slices of multicolored glowing bread that grants the consumer to cast any second level spell they already know for free without using a spell slot each slice could be shared with the different members of the party however due to the mass amount of magic preservatives and gluten in the bread they are weighed down and sluggish and must take disadvantage on any role involving movement so acrobatic stealth etc for the next hour while it gets digested and then butter and jam are not included. And there's only three uses of it.
Starting point is 01:06:46 So from my understanding, I just want to make sure, I do still want this, but each slice can be shared with everybody? Or is it like, is there a maximum amount of people that could share the slice? I think each person eats one slice. So you could pass out. When you use it, it creates three slices. So it's not like I have three slices, one slice to share amongst the four, and then two slices left. It's like one slice per person. Correct. It's like a it creates three slices. So it's not like I have three slices, one slice to share amongst the four, and then two slices left.
Starting point is 01:07:05 It's like one slice per person. Correct. It's like a total of three slices, and then you divvy up as you see fit. And I assume I don't have to use all of them at once. It's not like, okay, cool. Cool. Yep. My basket of Arcana Mana.
Starting point is 01:07:18 But you can't keep them for too long. They will go stale. Yes. And that's from Daniel Schultz. Daniel Schultz, yes. All right, Kyborg. Kyborg's ready. Alright, first one. Gift of the Traumatic Flagon.
Starting point is 01:07:30 Traumatic. I knew you would take it. Did I say traumatic? You said traumatic. Traumatic. Yeah, I meant traumatic. Sorry. Trauma. What is it again? Gift of the Dramatic Flagon. There we go. A gaudy flagon encrusted in sapphire. Any creature that takes a swig of liquid courage, beverage, or choice from this flagon grants an additional 1d8 to any charisma based check
Starting point is 01:07:48 i need this really bad if the roll fails the consumer immediately vomits taking 1d4 alcohol poisoning damage and 1d4 stage fright slash psychic damage once for a long rest uh this is submitted by barkski on twitter. Ooh, sounds like this is something that's going to end up being pretty fun at one point. Yeah. Hopefully it works because I need it. The other one that I wanted to get was Jade Cat of Playful Spirit.
Starting point is 01:08:15 I'm surprised none of you idiots got it because this thing's awesome. I wanted it, but I was like, it seems like it'd be better for someone else. Kick rocks. Once per long rest, this little Jade Cat statue turns into a green cat
Starting point is 01:08:25 spirit named pocket or whatever the user would like to name it oh i should name that for one of my cats uh that becomes your familiar for four minutes able to do simple tasks and carry up to 10 pounds in its little stone mouth lastly in a 10 foot range you are able to see through the cat's eyes by saying the following words who's a good kitty to tune the little Jade cat these are most actually a cat for five minutes Once for long rest this is submitted by magical Madoka on Twitter slash Double B flat on reddit because it's the same person they just have different names. Do you want to Don't know you want to tune yourself? Time where has started same person, they just have different usernames. Do you want to, uh... Let's test it out now. Do you want to tune yourself? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:07 Okay, the timer has started. No. Taboo, where are you on the ground? Uh, I scratch, cum-cum, and, uh, scratch. I get down on the ground and play too. Oh, God. Besler looks up at you all, and you swear there's a tear in his eye. What? I, um,
Starting point is 01:09:24 I want you all to know that you're not that bad. I know we haven't exactly gotten along all the time, but I guess, well, I guess it's nice that the Infinites actually turned out to be good people like you. I'm going for a hug. I've always liked you, Bessler. Anyway, this is probably the last time you'll see me. What? Like, seriously, no disguises or no fake accents.
Starting point is 01:09:54 This is it. Someone helped me realize that it's finally time for me to settle down, find a steady job, and help people when I can. And you hear footsteps approach from behind and a familiar voice asks, Are you about done, sweetheart? You turn around to see a big spectacle orc holding a book and chewing on gum.
Starting point is 01:10:13 It's Oof. Oh, yes, dear. Just finished up. Aww. Hi, Oof. They're together? Can I give Embezzler a big hug? Sure.
Starting point is 01:10:23 Okay. I guess, you know, the same opposites attract. Yeah. Well, they were like, did they meet for the first time at the cart in episode one? Yeah. Oh, sweet. We had Oof driving the cart and then Embezzler came over.
Starting point is 01:10:35 You were there when they first met. Wow. It's because of us. Yeah. I'll officiate your wedding if you want. Yeah. Unless you guys are already married. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:10:43 We give them a good rate. Yeah. 600 gold pieces. And you're like snapper suspenders 700 marrying a lawyer wow your parents must be so happy oh yeah the speed of which uh oaf does chime in yes i finally did finish my studies and have earned my law degree. You passed the bar? Yeah, I was trying to think of a joke. You passed the bar. Yes, I can officially practice law.
Starting point is 01:11:13 Wow. And I'm going to be moving to the land of Pharaohs and open a law practice there. Wow, okay. Sounds like a spin-off show. Spin-off tale? It does! Alright, who's going to be playing Bezler? The familiar voice of Deadman Wow, okay. It sounds like a spin-off show. It does. It does. All right, who's going to be playing Bezler?
Starting point is 01:11:28 Who's going to be playing? The familiar voice of Deadman Dreffle calls out overhead, Land ho! Oof and Bezler hold hands, offer you a nod, and head up to the main deck. I was going to steal from Bezler, but I decided against it in the end. Can we join them up on the deck? Yeah. When you reach the main deck, on the horizon,
Starting point is 01:11:47 you see an island surrounded by a towering wall along its border. The wall blocks most of your view of the island, but you do manage to catch a glimpse of a massive volcano in the center of the aisle. Sail ho! Captain Marge says, Arr, Enfrights and Duncan looks like a scout ship be approaching. You best be getting ready. Hey, can I borrow your immovable rod?
Starting point is 01:12:04 I gotta balance. Sure, sure. You can have it for a bit. Are you on your toes? Yeah. Good. That's really smart. Duncan asks, does anyone need help with a disguise? I mean, we need to look draconic, right? Yes. We need to try to pass their test to get in. Let me think. I mean, yeah. I mean,
Starting point is 01:12:19 I do have a disguise kit and I'm pretty crafty myself, but I could always use help. Sure. Yeah, Duncan is more could always use help. Sure. Yeah. Duncan is more than willing to help offer assistance. How do you want to look? Like what kind of dragon? Is there a specific color you're looking for? I would like to be kind of like a, like a orangey red color.
Starting point is 01:12:36 And are you looking to be like a dragonborn, a kobold, some other kind of dragonkin? Dragonborn. Dovahkiin, some say. So like a reddish orange dragonborn. Ooh, nice. What about everyone else? Bart tries to blow fire and he can't. Mud uses disguise self and recalls an old movie that he saw once about a Scottish dragon.
Starting point is 01:12:58 He was the last of his dragons. But he had a friend that was a little human. It was a cute little story. Kind of a Dennis type. Dennis Quaid type. Was it Dennis Quaid? Was it Quaid? I think it was. It was. It was him doing a gruff voice
Starting point is 01:13:15 the entire film. So I look like that. He's going to look like a guy named Draco. One of his heroes. Gum gum cyborg? I'll just be a kind of a dragon with wings. A big giant dragon.
Starting point is 01:13:30 Oh, 30 feet big. 30 feet big? Yeah. You're supposed to disguise yourself as a... Make yourself much bigger. Oh, okay. I guess, how big am I? However that big is.
Starting point is 01:13:39 Okay, you want to be that big? Okay. Duncan says... I believe Dr. Ahem also gave you something you can use to make yourself draconic for a little while. Well, I was going to say that. Okay. It makes him draconic, not a dragon. Potato, potato. So what, the effects of it are just
Starting point is 01:13:53 a disguise as a dragon? Okay, let's be very clear. It turns him and transforms him into a dragon. Into a copper dragon for 15 minutes. Yeah, I can save this for special dragon occasions. So yeah, so yeah so gum gum's just gonna ask for disguise help so you're not drinking it you're gonna go with a disguise just to be clear okay kyborg do we get to you nope i need help i can speak draconic actually uh i want to
Starting point is 01:14:16 say to who's helping us duncan duncan duncan i say to him in draconic make me into a dragon dude you don't you don't meow it yeah meow yeah meow meow and then i indicate to my face and then i like make dragon like body describe it for our our audio listeners i'm putting my hands up and i'm like making claws with my hands i'm going but i this is all in cat though duncan turns to the rest of the party says
Starting point is 01:14:37 is he okay did something happen i'm not aware of meow meow meow meow meow he got assigned some homework that he has to work on and so if you could just, while he's doing that, turn him into a dragon. The timer's actually up. I'm just trying.
Starting point is 01:14:50 I'm being a little difficult. You? No. I do have the cloak of manifolds but that's only like, I can transform my cloak so I can make it like, scaly looking
Starting point is 01:14:57 but I don't think that that's going to suffice. Okay. Yeah, that sounds good. Everyone happy with their disguises and they know what they look like And what they're doing here Yeah
Starting point is 01:15:06 Do I look good, Bart? Let me see, give me a spin 360 Oh yeah, you better work I'm a dragon Scary A small scout ship draws close And you hear a voice call out
Starting point is 01:15:18 Halt! Prepare to be boarded Okay Common or draconic? Incommon Okay Two silver dragonborn scouts board the Jebediah and begin walking around. First one says, I'm Nikotimad.
Starting point is 01:15:30 This is Gyupo. We're gonna be making sure everything is above boards here. Mud's nervous and salutes. I've just now connected the dots. This is where the Tabulians were outcast from. So these guys are kind of like racist. Oh. Nikototima sees your salute
Starting point is 01:15:47 and says to you mud what business do you have in totoan waters pleasure your business is pleasure yes sir uh vacation okay yeah then gyupo addresses the group at large and asks are any of you of draconic blood? If so, please step to this side. And he indicates the starboard side of the ship. I walk over there like all dragon-like. Make a performance check. Okay, all right.
Starting point is 01:16:14 Why did you have to add spice? Seven. Oh, no. Oops. Are you crawling like a kitty still? No, like a dragon. He starts trying to slither like a snake. Yeah, the Nikotima and Gyupo both watch you as you walk across the starboard side.
Starting point is 01:16:33 Does anyone else go over there? I will go. Okay. And Dr. Ahem and Duncan make their way to the starboard side as well. They might as well. Okay. Bart, you too, I assume? Of course.
Starting point is 01:16:43 Should I do a performance check? If you walk like a dragon i'm walking like a dragon all right let's see it he's gonna show up kyborg 14 not the best but okay better than kyborg they they it seems like they don't notice you because they're so fixated on watching kyborg i literally rolled a 2 and i still had a 14 what yeah i have a plus 12 to my performance oh my god that is insane yeah which is why I was just like I'm not going to fail it. Nikotima addresses the entire boat and says, is there anyone else requesting
Starting point is 01:17:10 entry into Tatora or is it only this group here? No one else seems to come forward. And Gyupo is going up to Ichi and asking, what items are you bringing with you? Just my personal belongings, sir. I just awkwardly hold up Gumbo in two hands in front of me.
Starting point is 01:17:27 Lunch. A fresh snack. Very well. Bess, I kiss him. Gumbo. Gumbo. Gumbo. Okay.
Starting point is 01:17:40 Bess had a very confused look on his face. He's custom in this land. You know, it's like when you go to Europe, you do little kisses on the cheek. That's why on his face. Guppo. He's custom in this land. You know, it's like when you go to Europe, you do little kisses on the cheek. That's why I do that with Guppo. Yeah, you know, you go up, you show your passport. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. Welcome to Germany.
Starting point is 01:17:58 Nico Tima begins rummaging through his pack and says, I will be administering the draconic blood test to all of you seeking entry into the borders of Tatora. I will require a blood sample from each of you. He goes up to Duncan and pricks his finger and drops a little drop of blood into a vial of dragon scales. And nothing seems to happen. I says, very well, you pass.
Starting point is 01:18:20 He goes up next to, I'm going to roll, see. What's the thing that happens that shows this person that we're passing? Like, is it like a thing? Make an intelligence check for me. Okay, 15. It didn't look like there was any reaction at all when the blood hit the vial of dragon scales. Okay. You suspect that no reaction is a passing reaction. Gotcha.
Starting point is 01:18:46 Because you rolled a 15. You used your thinker box and figured it out. Nico, Timae, goes up to Bart next and asks you to put your finger out so he can prick it. I put my finger out, but at the same time I cast Minor Illusion to
Starting point is 01:19:02 make it seem like nothing happens. When he does the test when he does the test okay so you still let him prick your finger you let the blood go into the vial and you try to just make it seem like all good yeah yeah that's interesting kind of thing how this okay first of all make a slider hand check uh i want to re-roll that i'm using my inspiration okay all right 17 okay yeah you uh use your minor illusion to make the vial appear like nothing happens. And the blood touches the dragon scales, and it seems like nothing happens. And Nicoteme looks at it strangely.
Starting point is 01:19:34 This vial is very warm. And looks at you. I'm warm-blooded. Wait, no. We're not. We're cold-blooded, right? We're reptiles? We had a very spicy lunch.
Starting point is 01:19:45 Yes. Tabasco sauce on everything. Yes. I say, dragon mic. All right. He goes up next to Gum-Gum. Hi. Please extend your finger so we can administer the test.
Starting point is 01:19:59 I do it. I am Lump-Lump, the great flower dragon wizard. Okay. And I hold flower dragon wizard. Okay. And I hold out my finger. Okay. He pricks your finger and a little drop of blood comes out and falls into the vial onto the scales and it immediately bursts into flames. Ah, I told you it would happen. I am a great wizard.
Starting point is 01:20:20 Of flowers. Of flowers. Not fire. No. Wizard. Of flowers. Of flowers. Not fire.
Starting point is 01:20:23 No. Guppo and Nikotima look at each other and says, an imposter. What? Where? Sees him. Guppo pulls out a war horn and blows it. Letting out a loud bellowing. I quickly go to stuff my hand into the war horn.
Starting point is 01:20:44 Make a dexterity check. Yeah, I'm using literally my waste of time right now. Is he? Oh, okay. I am taking that war horn and grabbing it. It's a very muffled sound. You know, when you're trying to like blow a horn. It's stuff.
Starting point is 01:20:59 We're on a ship, right? Yeah, but there's another ship. The scout ship had pulled up. Okay, so he's the only one from that ship on our ship. There's two of them. Nikotime and Gyupo. Right, right, right. Can I just run and jump off the side of the ship? No, get them.
Starting point is 01:21:09 Yeah, I mean, yeah, you could jump off the side of the ship if you want. What would that accomplish? I run and jump off the side of the ship. While I do it, can I try and do my, attach my friendship bracelets to something against the ship or something? Oh, I got it. I attach my friendship bracelet using the immovable rod to this edge of the ship. Why not just hold onto the rod?
Starting point is 01:21:29 I guess that would work too. I was going to... Yeah, I'll do that. Okay, I'll tell you what. At the very least, the Kotee Man and Gyopo pull out their weapons, even though their horn did not sound. Bye-bye.
Starting point is 01:21:39 They arm themselves with silvery blades. Everyone go ahead and roll initiative. Oh. I had a whole plan with everything in my mechanical arm. Well, we're going to hear about it in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Sorry, I'm not dragon. Nat, 20 initiative roll. Now I've got to remember these.
Starting point is 01:22:03 You said roll for initiative. They'll be in the log. Oh, that's true. I rolled a 14 in case you want to write 22. All right. Well, find out what everyone rolled in the next episode of Killing the Stinky Giant. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 01:22:15 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. I have to point out that I realized something. I was re-listening to an episode to try to, I've been trying to track down my inventory
Starting point is 01:22:49 and I was listening to an episode and Micah, who does the voice of Dr. Ahem, you chimed in and it immediately struck me that you sounded, this is going to be such a deep dive, but if you go Google this, you will know exactly what I'm talking about. He sounds like the animatronic professor from Knott's Berry Farm in the time travel dinosaur ride.
Starting point is 01:23:06 As you walked into the ride. It's a deep cut. It is. But like, like I could play it right now for you guys. So you guys can hear it. I've never been to Knott's Berry Farm. It's Kingdom of the Dinosaurs. It's Kingdom of the Dinosaurs.
Starting point is 01:23:16 And here's. Yeah, I already had it pulled up. Here's the intro of the ride. Wait for it. They're walking in. How did you people get in here? Stop. The time machine is on. It's finished yet. I'm still working on my time machine. They're working. wait for it they're walking yeah absolutely we we went on to that theme park so much as kids and i love that ride because i
Starting point is 01:23:39 love dinosaurs as most little boys did yeah and as soon as that it just took me back and you said exactly like that. I'm still working on my time machine.

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