Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Of Life & Breath - Ep. 73 - Naval-Gazing
Episode Date: November 30, 2022The Infinights make their plan of action to make it into the land of Tetora! But what tricks and traps await them in this land of mystery.... Shop the Rooster Teeth Holiday collection now: http://bit....ly/STF_Holiday22 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This is a Rooster Teeth Production.
Good evening to all you Empyreans!
Walk, swim, or fly onto the stinky dragon and buy our latest Bev, Loosen Titan Toddy!
fly onto the stinky dragon and buy our latest Bev, Loosen Titan Toddy. It's a mixture of heaven comb honey, marbleized sugar, frozen chunks of the upper plains, and sparkling
bolt secco wine. One sip of the celestial sauce is stiffer than a stone statue's upper
lip. Previously, our adventurers met up with some old friends and formulated a two-pronged
plan of action. They set sail aboard the Jebediah,
bolstered equipment with Besler, and found the border of Tatora. But can they penetrate this
impervious palisade and fight off a fleet of dragonborn ships? Grab a grog and let's get on
with this odoriferous odyssey. I'm gonna date this episode by making this reference,
but with you yelling out that today's drink of choice,
it's making me go, now I want you to do that voice,
but do the Negroni Spagliato.
He's looking at me like he has no idea what this meme is.
Gus, get on the internet.
It's stunning.
Oh, stunning.
I still have no idea.
I have to show it to you after the episode.
Jesus.
Your job is to be a TikTok artist.
It's two of the cast members of House of Dragon talking about what their favorite drinks were in an interview.
The unfortunate part is even saying it now it's dated.
Oh, it's dated now.
When this episode comes out.
Oh, boy.
Lovely.
Lovely.
Stunning.
I'm curious to check it out then.
Thank you,
John,
for keeping me up to date on the latest out of date.
Basically,
it's how a lot of people discovered they were bisexual.
I think that's what me is.
Your 38 year old friend is here to do.
Okay.
I'm here to keep you up to date on the latest cool stuff.
Who keeps you up to date?
Is it like nesting dolls going
all the way down yeah it's like at this point kayla and blizz are my children i literally get
learned things from my children well you can teach them dungeons and dragons because you uh
you're a professional dnd player i am a professional dnd and uh we're about to get into it so uh where
we left off uh you guys were going through the test that the Dragonborn scouts were performing on the deck of the Jebediah.
In order to get into the Torah, Bart used a minor illusion and managed to pass the test.
And GumGum blew it.
And GumGum just screwed up for all of us.
Well, just screwed it up for all of us.
Before everyone starts fighting, could I just run off the side of the cliff? Well, just screwed it up for all of us. Before everyone starts fighting, could I
just run off the side of the cliff?
Well, that's where he said roll for initiative.
I know. Uh, no. Oh, right.
We already rolled for initiative, as
John said, so now we have to go in that order.
Yeah, no back pet. Oh, wait, we had
rolled for initiative. Yeah, everyone had already rolled.
I'm actually looking it up here.
I can look at the game log for you right now.
Yeah, I got it right here. Gum Gum. I'm going to say your rolls, just make sure that I'm correct looking it up here. I can look in the game log for you right now. Yeah, I got it right here.
Gum Gum had a 50.
I'm going to say your rolls, just to make sure that I'm correct.
Gum Gum had a 19, actually.
Kyborg had a 13.
I had a 25.
Mud had a 22.
I had a good one.
And Barty Boy had a 14.
14, yes.
As for metagaming, I thought that, and this is on me for assuming,
that those with, like, minor illusion or whatchamacallit,
prestidigitation.
That was, I think, the worst version yet.
Prestidigitation.
We're going to do the spell on all of them?
I didn't think I could.
No, you can't. What do you think?
Because those are cantrips. It's also one at a
time. So like I couldn't
do the thing, wait for you
to do it, then do it again.
So before combat had
started, Mud had attempted to
silence the horn that one of the
Dragonborn had pulled out. Oh no, I succeeded.
Don't say attempted.
Don't rewrite history.
You did stuff it so that it was a...
You stuff it.
You did a...
Why are you so competitive today, Gus?
Let's chill out for a second.
Do we need to have a talk?
What did you stuff into the horn?
I don't know.
It was a gumbo.
Gumbo.
Okay.
Mud stuffed gumbo into the horn.
I feel like if you're a brass instrument player and someone
shoves a badger into your instrument
they ain't gonna play that. No he's a crab.
What? Gumbo
he's like a hermit crab. Oh oh
that's like a shell. So I assume you
shoved gumbo butt first
into the horn and not head first.
I hadn't thought that through
but let's go with that.
Gumbo's head is sticking out of the horn and a very muffled emits from the horn.
It's not totally silenced, but it is significantly muffled.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I got to contest that.
If you have a badger inside of your instrument, your instrument ain't making noise.
It's going to make noise.
It's not an airtight seal.
Okay.
Some sound is going
to come out. It is going to be significantly
quieter. I'm not saying like
anyone heard it necessarily, but I am
just saying for the record, a little bit of sound does
come out. I feel like we have a new test that
we have to do for our TikToks. No.
Because then that involves me.
Does anybody have access to a badger?
Mushroom, mushroom.
We could get a stuffed, like a plush badger.
Yeah, we'll get a plushie.
Or just get one of our dogs that looks like a badger.
No.
Which one of our dogs?
We're not stuffing any real life animals
into any real life instruments.
Real life instruments, I like that.
We have a lot of fake ones.
Mud, you actually rolled the highest initiative.
So even though you just
stuffed the horn, you do go
first. Sounds like some sort
of innuendo. Mud, you did it.
After the boss battle,
you got first initiative.
You get to go. You get to make your attack.
Oh my gosh. Yeah, bro, you could have stuffed the horn
with that bed warmer a few weeks
ago. Nice.
It's funny you bring that up,
Blaine, because I actually just was talking to someone yesterday
about recounting, because
Barbara, you have your idea
that we filmed for this person's
last initiative, and I told
somebody about the fact that my
boss battle for my arc came
up, and i did uh nothing
you supported i did i watched it was fun cheered on so we're on the ship yes there are two of these
two of the silver dragonborn scouts are on the ship with you uh nikotime and gyupo and then
uh they came from boat that is right next to our ship. Correct. That has other ones?
Yes.
You don't know exactly how many,
but you did see at least a couple others on that boat.
And then there are additional boats in the vicinity.
It's just this one boat that came up to you.
There's two other boats in the vicinity.
Okay.
And then they've muffled the sound.
I've muffled the sound.
And nothing else has happened?
Or the Dragonborn haven't done anything else?
Not that you can tell.
Their initiative rolls were pretty bad.
So, no, they have not done anything yet.
Okay.
Just to further set the stage, there's also the giant wall that's, like, all around the border of Tatora as well.
Okay.
Am I fighting the wall?
No, I'm just trying to sit.
We're that close to it that we're by the wall.
Right. You are roughly, I mean,
you're not like super close to it. I'd say
you're maybe ballparking 150 feet
away from the wall. How tall is that wall?
About 100 feet. And
Micah is mentioning that I did say last
time they unsheathed their blades. So
they're not going to act, but the two silver Dragonborn
scouts have unsheathed blades. They they're not going to act but the two silver dragon boy scouts have unsheathed blades thank you for that thank you for that colorful yeah
we got into that remember yeah yeah yes okay um okay okay i get to do stuff i'm gonna do stuff
okay don't blow it all right you're starting to get these right i still haven't done anything i
tuned out no i was trying to get, what we're looking at here.
That was all for everyone's benefit, so they understand, like, what are we fighting?
I'm sorry we make fun of you, Chris, for taking so long.
You know, it's...
Well, this is the start of combat.
We're just starting the episode.
But Chris was going to say something when I interrupted about the wall.
I don't want to say it anymore.
Okay.
What are we doing?
We're in an alternate dimension this morning.
Okay.
You know, I could do some aggressive things,
but instead I'm going to support everybody with some help.
Okay?
Nice.
And I'm going to cast Fog Cloud.
I mean, he's doing nothing.
Are we going to fight today, Gus?
Apparently.
You woke up and chose violence.
I did not.
I feel like Gus owes John a little bit of a tussle
having John almost break Gus's finger a few months ago.
Oh, I did.
It's videoing it.
Oh, it's better.
Oh, there you go.
Yeah, yeah.
Karma saw it fit to me, do almost the exact same injury to myself.
Fog.
What?
So you cast fog.
Yes, I do.
I cast fog cloud.
But I cast it at, let's say, okay, how far are the other, the one boat's right next to us, right?
Correct.
It pulled up, and that's where these dragonborn boarded from.
Estimated how far away from me?
The ship itself?
Yeah.
Let me take a look.
I'm deciding how big of a fog cloud I need to make.
What's the highest fog you can cast?
If I cast it at six level, it would be,
it would be a 20 foot radius plus 20 feet
for each slot above first.
So five to 120 feet from me. 20-foot radius plus 20 feet for each slot above first.
So 120 feet?
I'd say the edge of the other boat from where you're standing is about 40 feet.
Roughly.
30, 40 feet.
Somewhere in that range.
Do it in the third level.
Okay.
Get Blaine's help with math.
I appreciate it. You can also, I would say you could move and cast, but you would provoke because you are
right next to him because you stuffed something into the horn.
He's not something.
A badger.
A badger.
You stuffed gumbo into the horn.
He has a name.
He has a name.
I cast third level fog cloud and give us 60 feet.
I cast that.
And then with a bonus action,
I want gumbo to attack that dragon board.
Actually, wait.
Can I do this?
As a bonus action, can he instead of attack,
can he try to grapple this horn away?
So I'm just laughing because it's a funny mental image.
Like Gumbo is butt first into a horn,
and now he's going to like reach around.
He just grabs it and really just like takes all of his heavy-
He's hermit crabbing.
He's hermit crabbing.
He wants this.
Or like when you're using the toilet
and you got to hold on.
What?
For dear life.
And run with the toilet?
You know that.
You need some fiber, my dude.
Yeah, dude.
You want to talk about it?
Yeah, sure.
Why not?
Yes.
Okay.
So if Gumbo's going to do that,
we'll say,
how would you want to approach that?
Like a, I assume a strength.
No, no.
A dexterity check?
He's trying to throw his balance off. Sure. Let's say assume a strength. No, no. A dexterity check? He's trying to throw his balance off.
Sure.
Let's say dexterity.
Yeah, let's do dexterity.
I'm just going to roll a d20.
Yeah.
15.
He doesn't have a modifier for dex.
15.
Okay.
I'm looking here.
The dex on this particular scout is plus six.
Yeesh.
Oh, that's right.
They scaled this.
But there's fog around. He doesn't
know what's happening. I thought you said
you cast the fog over...
On us. On you guys?
So you center it
on yourself and then you had it be
60 feet so that it encompasses
the other... So the ship can't see.
Yeah, I wanted it so that like
we get to do our little fight in privacy.
So the area is now heavily obscured. That's all it says. Okay. Yeah, I wanted it so that, like, we get to do our little fight in privacy. So it is now, the area is now heavily obscured.
Yeah.
That's all it says.
Okay.
And now I'm going to roll my dexterity check.
Like I said, it is plus six.
Yeah.
God bless the dice.
Yes!
Yes!
That is a two.
That's an eight.
Let's give him his credit.
Yeah. That is a two. That's an eight. Let's give him his credit. Yeah, so I guess maybe the shock of having a badger stuffed into the horn catches the scout by surprise.
And maybe half in shock, he just ends up dropping the horn.
Now it's Gumbo's horn.
Now, yeah, Gumbo falls to the ground.
It's not far enough to take fall damage.
Gumbo's happy.
Is he hermit crabbing off with it?
Yeah.
Great.
Are we trying to kill these people?
I haven't yet. They seem so nice. No, no i'm just curious that's up to your character arc right
i just feel like i don't know bart typically doesn't try to kill people
do you have subduing it's up to bullions all right so is that it for mud yeah yeah
you done yeah mud's done mud's done. Mud's done. Gum gum.
All right.
And I'll say at 60 feet, everyone is in the fog cloud.
This will encompass everyone's combat,
but you will have difficulty seeing at any real distance beyond 5 to 10 feet.
I have those goggles.
Oh, it lets you see through weather specifically, right?
Yeah.
Nice.
Fog and rain and whatnot. Wow. I totally knew that. I don't have those, so Oh, it lets you see through weather specifically, right? Yeah. Nice. Fog and rain and whatnot.
Wow.
I totally knew that.
I don't have those, so I'm just useless.
Gum, gum.
I have a question.
Yeah.
Since we walked into and got captured by the people at the end of that last episode,
that was like how many days ago when I used my cone of freezing?
Oh, that was...
Yeah, when we started that episode,
that was the day before.
And then since then, you've been on the boat.
So if it resets daily, you do have it reset.
I'm going to...
Oh, no.
We've angered this god of chicken.
And do my cock-a-doodle-collar.
Is that a real thing?
It's his new item he got.
Oh, that's what it's called.
I love the look on everyone's face when he said we've angered the god of chicken. my cock-a-doodle collar. Is that a real thing? It's his new item he got. Oh, that's what it's called.
I love the look on everyone's face
when he said
we've angered
the god of chickens.
At first I thought
he was like,
dragonborns look like chickens
or something like that.
Micah, make sure you leave
in the deafening silence
that prolongs it.
The character can
maybe stretch it out.
As an action blow
into this gilded bone horn,
a magical chicken appears
in a location they're choosing within 30 feet of the user.
All hostile creatures within 10 feet of the chicken must succeed on a DC 15 wisdom save
or be inexorably frightened of it for one minute.
The chicken can speak common or offer a single piece of advice to the Asadusa.
Once it's given a piece of advice or one minute passes, the chicken disappears in puff green smoke.
Okay, so you want Nikotima and Gyopo to make the wisdom save, I assume?
Yeah.
I just want to point out that my first action was to muffle a horn,
and your first action has been to play a horn.
So...
Uh-oh.
Well, I don't have to blow it loud.
Yeah.
I can blow it real quiet.
It's not the same sound they're looking for, right?
It's more like a...
Yeah.
So all the...
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Make the sound.
It's more like a kazoo.
What is that?
It's like a kazoo.
Oh, okay.
Okay, so they have a plus five on their wisdom.
A baby cat.
Up first is Nikotime.
That's a nat 20.
So that Nikotime makes it.
Next up is Gyopo.
That is a 14 plus five, say five.
Yeah, plus five, 19.
They both make their safe.
Well, what a waste.
Well, I have a chicken.
You have a chicken.
Can I do anything else with it?
It's like Gumbo's first pet.
Does it like move around or does it?
You can talk to it.
Yeah, you can talk to it.
That's it.
If you don't do anything after one minute, it disappears.
One minute is ten rounds.
So we're not going to be here for ten rounds.
What makes you think that?
One round takes us like an hour.
I think that sludge fight was two rounds. I'm going to rage
for like 90
minutes. Okay.
Getting a rage out of
Gum Gum. Is it against the machine?
Two. First time we've made that joke.
We make a lot of the same jokes, I've realized.
We do.
We like to sing very classic songs whenever a word comes up.
I can teleport to non-occupied space.
You can see how my rage ends.
And then you can use this effect.
Can I see up at all?
No, it's a sphere.
You can see about 10 feet away.
Even that being generous.
How high up is the fog?
60 feet.
It's a sphere.
You can't see 10 feet up.
Well, I'm going to teleport onto the chicken.
Onto the chicken.
Okay.
That's what Gum-Gum killed his chicken.
What's the chicken made of?
It's a giant chicken.
It's a giant chicken?
No, I don't think it's a giant.
It's a chicken.
It's a chicken.
Not a giant chicken. No. Do you want to step on the chicken? I thought it was a giant chicken. Gum-Gum killed giant chicken. It's a giant chicken? No, I don't think it's a giant. It's a chicken. It's a chicken. Not a giant chicken.
No.
Do you want to step on the chicken?
I thought it was a giant chicken.
Gum Gum killed the chicken.
No, no.
What makes you think it's a giant chicken?
It's just how he read it in his head.
You guys, it's not a giant chicken.
Chris, read it.
There's nothing that says giant.
It's a magical chicken.
All right, never mind.
I won't be on top of the giant chicken that's not giant.
Okay.
I'm just going to go 10 feet away into the mind. I won't be on top of the giant chicken that's not giant. Okay. I'm just gonna go ten feet away
into the distance. So I just
disappear. Like as far away in the opposite
direction of wherever the two guys are looking.
And overboard.
That's what I wanted.
And I'm like, I'm tuning into a chicken!
And disappear.
Oh, that's fun. Okay, so
you say, you blow the whistle,
the chicken appears.
All right, now roll for deception.
I'm just trying to make sure I get it right.
Everyone makes their wisdom save, and then you rage,
which causes you to teleport 10 feet away as you exclaim,
I'm turning into a chicken.
Is that correct?
Mm-hmm.
All right, yes.
Roll a deception check.
Even Chris was confused by his own.
He just went, mm-hmm. I'm going to use his own. He just went,
I'm going to use my inspiration die.
What'd you roll?
Seven. You really want this perception. If you use an inspiration
die, something that can be really useful
for a necessary moment.
You rolled a nine. Nine.
Okay, GumGum kind of unconvincingly
says I'm turning into a chicken and then disappears
into the fog. Anything else, GumGum? Well, to answercingly says I'm turning into a chicken and then disappears into the fog. Okay.
Anything else, Gum-Gum?
Well, to answer you, Barb, we haven't attacked them yet.
Okay, good.
And I guess I'll try and like hide.
You're in the fog.
Like just get down on the ground and like, you know.
So you're getting prone on the ground?
No, just like leaning down.
A squat.
Squatting.
Okay, squat.
Or if there's cover anywhere.
Because it's like, oh, so you're prone now.
Right.
So you want all the advantages of being low without any of the disadvantages.
If there's any cover nearby where I teleported, like a
There you go. Some barrels. There's
things on the deck. Barrels on ships.
That's completely bare deck. Nothing.
No coverage.
It's because we had just cleared it off so we could have
our dance festival we were going to do.
That's what we did. Don't you just pretend like you
don't know me.
Yeah, there's a...
Done.
We'll say you're hiding behind one of the masts of the ship.
Cool.
You're like teleport 10 feet and you put the mast between yourself and you're like crouched.
Yeah.
Okay.
Is that it for Gum Gum?
That's it.
Okay.
I will be a rope doctor, but silent.
These dragonborn have to be so confused.
I'm confused.
I can't see any of this happening.
Well, the badger took one of these guys' horns
and then a chicken showed up, but they weren't scared
of it. Uh-huh.
Bart, what are you going to add to this chaos?
A question for you.
The boat that is
approaching on the side. It's not that it's
approaching. It's right next to you.
That's how they boarded. They pulled the ship right
up next to them and then put a gangplank down and then walked do they
have they seen what's happening do they know that we're hostile yet or anything like that
or are they hostile towards us you do not see any movement on that ship at the current time could
just be the two that are on the deck right now i was just gonna ask like if the other whole ship
of people or um dragonborn whoever's on that ship is like already aware that we are potentially
trying to sneak in like what they know or what they don't think that's the same not to our
knowledge yeah okay yeah it's it's a confusing time they may have heard you know at the same
time that the horn was trying to be blown that you know uh nikotima did yell intruders maybe
they heard that but we don't know. Well, my loot of laughable
levity, if I play that,
is it an action or
is it a bonus? I don't see
anything that tells me one way or the other. Items are
usually action unless called out. It says you
can expend one charge as a bonus action to play the
instrument and cast one of the
following spells. Oh, that sounds like a bonus action.
Yeah, so I would say it's a bonus action
to play and use whatever is associated with it.
And could I do a bonus action before anything else?
You get one.
Yeah, you can use...
Oh!
Yeah, you have one during your turn.
So if I do this, and then I could actually take a different action.
Correct.
If this doesn't work the way I hoped for.
Correct.
Yeah.
Okay.
I would like to play my Loot of Laughable Levity to try to calm emotions, but also the Gaff of Gaggery,
which this also includes with the upgrade,
I could remold the memories of listeners
in my immediate vicinity.
I don't...
These are two different spells though, right?
Are they?
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, then I would like to do the Gaff of Gaggery.
Okay.
And I don't know if they're in my immediate...
Could I tell if they're in my immediate vicinity?
I mean, your memory of like where they were
before the fog came in.
And you, well, I can see the fog.
Oh yeah, I forget.
So then it says they have to be within five feet of you.
If you want, you could move, use your bonus action.
Yeah.
And then depending on the outcome,
you could either move again or make an action.
Let me do that.
Let me move towards them within five feet of.
Okay.
Ideally both of them.
Yeah. Through the fog. Through the Okay. Ideally both of them? Yeah.
Through the fog, Bart appears.
Pass the chicken.
Holding a lute.
Concert.
Yeah.
They just hear like really awful music playing.
Yeah, I want to remold their memories.
Cast a prestidigitation so that you can make like sparkles and stuff.
And this, it's not that it resets their memory necessarily.
They just forget everything you or an ally said
within the last six seconds.
So I guess the last six seconds
wouldn't have been when they took our blood.
It would have been, I'm a chicken.
It wouldn't have been something that you all said.
We didn't say.
Yeah, it would have been that.
So I can't be like, oh, isn't it so funny
how all our blood tested positive for
dragonborn right it's just like to it's like essentially like if a joke falls flat or
something doesn't work you'd like rewind time on on that and make it land we've never had a joke
no never not once um okay let me scrap that and just do calm emotions then okay instead so you're
gonna walk within range and then uh use the loot of lappable levity to do calm
emotions.
Yes.
Is that the spell?
It's like a bonus.
Yeah, but it's calm emotions.
Yeah.
So each humanoid makes a charisma saving throw.
If a creature fails at saving throw, you can choose one of the following effects.
You can suppress any effect that causes the target
to be charmed or frightened.
Alternatively, you can make a target indifferent
about creatures of your choice that it is hostile for.
Ooh.
This indifference ends if the target is attacked
or harmed by a spell,
or if it witnesses its friends being harmed.
This word, you better not touch it.
When the spell ends, the creature becomes hostile again,
and it is concentration, so you will need to keep it the spell ends, the creature becomes hostile again. And it is concentration.
So you will need to keep it up.
Okay.
So they need to make a, what did I say?
Charisma saving throw.
What's the check?
Looks like it's 16.
Yeah, it should be 16.
Because I upped my charisma in the last level up.
So I would have a 16 instead of a 15.
Nice.
And their charisma is plus one.
Great.
All right. First, Nikotime. Seems like we is plus one. Great. All right.
First, Nikotime.
Seems like we're going non-violent.
And that's a bummer because I wanted to shoot these dudes.
So far, one of them is fallen.
Gyupo, 13.
All right.
Nice.
So they both fail the charisma check.
So I assume you're making them indifferent about your party.
All right.
Yeah.
You use the loot of laugh Laughable Levity,
cast Calm Emotions,
and it seems like, for now at least,
Nikotime and Gyupo are, they're calm.
They're indifferent towards your party.
Cool.
And I'm trying to figure out,
I don't know if this will work or not. Could I use my Suspenders of Haggling
to try to convince them that...
I think that's another bonus action.
Is it? Okay.
Yeah.
I would say that that would be a bonus action.
Okay.
Haggle them into accepting our blood.
Yeah.
It's funny.
Just trying to get us through this.
You can just try and talk into them.
Yeah.
Just,
uh,
let me see.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Could I just talk to them?
Yeah,
absolutely.
And say,
uh,
you know,
um,
my friends here are,
uh,
we're,
we're just trying to visit, uh, just as tourists, you know, we've never, we're just trying to visit just as tourists.
You know, we've never been to this area of town before.
We're not going to cause any harm, I promise.
And he flashes his beautiful, beautiful, shiny smile and a little ting.
What do you want to do, like a persuasion check or something?
Probably be charisma now.
Well, persuasion is charisma based.
You're persuading them. Yeah.
Persuasion? Yeah. Not performance?
Definitely not lying. No, it's persuasion.
You're trying to persuade them to let you in.
Well, shoot.
That's a 10. It's worth a try.
And I don't have a...
It's a... Oops. Ignore that one.
I placed on something accidentally.
I mean, they would reply,
only dragonkin are allowed into Torah.
Fair enough, yeah.
It's, you know, just light discrimination, but whatever.
I don't know what you're complaining about.
You passed the test.
Well, you know, these are my friends, so I could vouch for them as a dragonborn myself.
No, no vouching.
No vouching.
No vouching allowed. No cuts. well um i guess i think that's it
right all right can i move away uh yeah you would be able to move you were within range where you
would provoke attack of opportunity but they're not hostile to you anymore they're indifferent
so you can step away if you want okay cool how far away do you go? I guess like 30 feet. Yeah, because the fog doesn't matter to you.
You can see through it.
I can see through it, yeah.
Okay.
Kyborg.
Okay.
So I have this thing called Gift of the Dramatic Flagon.
It's a gaudy flagon, crust, and sapphire.
Any creature that takes a swig of liquid courage, beverage of choice from this flagon grants
an additional 1d8 to any charisma based check.
It says some stuff about if the roll fails, but we don't need to worry about that.
So I want to go up to them. I want to take a swig of this first
And I want to act a little drunk
Because whatever I drank out of it was like rum
And I'll be like guys guys guys
I'm so sorry we forgot to tell you
Gum gum there the one that failed the blood check
He
Got an arm replacement at the
Flats of Tabool see so did I look at this
We're all dragons borns here.
We're all dragons.
Dragons born.
Are you guys dragons?
I'm a dragon.
So, everything's cool.
We're gonna just go into the town and it's all fine.
Into where?
Into.
No.
No one help him.
Into.
The unknown.
Oh, God.
It's not Tabool. It's, uh. No. It's the notes. Oh, God. It's not the bullets.
No.
It's the...
Said it just a little while ago to Bart.
Barbara is making a motion like a book.
Book chance.
She is reading in a very, like, reading, very religious way into the book.
He's not going to know this.
Yeah.
And then it's... Tatora! Tatora! Tatora. Yeah. And then it's Tatora!
Tatora!
I should take notes.
Should I just include you guys
on my D&D notes slide group?
Don't help them.
You don't need notes when we have charades.
Oh my God.
Okay.
That was great.
So good, Barb.
So good.
So good.
I was like, what?
All right.
So you're doing a charisma check.
Plus a 1d8.
So what is this?
I mean, this is deception, I guess.
So you would make a deception roll to try to convince them of this and add a D8 to it from gift of the dramatic flag.
Yeah, sure.
So roll for deception.
Weird sounding.
Yes.
You got a minus two, but that was 17.
Ooh, not bad.
And then I'm going to roll a D8 and that will be five.
So I'll get 22.
22.
That's pretty good deception.
Don't let me roll.
I'd be deceived.
I'd be deceived. I'd be deceived.
I'm just saying.
I'm just saying.
And Mutt doesn't believe anybody.
Four and an eight.
Oh, Gus is very upset by this.
I'm very upset by this.
You really want to take us out, huh?
So, hold on.
So then the check didn't fail, so you don't get the negative side effect, right?
Right, which is like vomiting and psychic damage.
Wait, so you all
had arm replacements?
Oh, uh...
And now that's why he failed
the test. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We all know when you attach an arm
to you, there's different blood in it.
So we heard talk
about these dudes called Taboolians
out in the flats of Tabool.
We hate those guys.
Boo, boo.
They ain't got no arms.
But me and my friend Gum Gum here lost our arms fighting Taboolians.
Yeah, it's true.
It was very, very true.
I was there to witness it.
And so did this guy.
His name's Mud.
So anyways, we went and like we to keep it hush-hush.
You fought the Tabulians and lost.
Everyone lost an arm?
They tried to steal the arms.
We took their arms because they were like, you don't deserve those arms.
What do you mean you took their arms?
And then they took our arms.
We chopped them off.
They don't have arms.
With swords.
Because, well, they don't have arms, but then they got arm replacements.
So then we cut off their arms.
And then they cut off our arms because they got mad that we cut off their arms
So then in the mess there's just arms everywhere
So we just started grabbing arms
And then we put
We just did what we could to attach arms
So now we're back in Totoro
For the listeners at home
Both Gus and Micah
Have their heads in their hands
They are at complete 45-degree angles.
It's just such a messy situation,
but the important thing is we're home now.
Did good, Link.
Okay.
Very good.
So, everyone lost one arm.
You lost that one.
They point at your replaced arm.
That's right.
Which arm did he lose?
The one that you tested.
Oh, and I guess the other one?
Yeah, him.
Which arm did he lose? The one that we tested. Oh, and I guess the other one. Yeah, him. Which arm did he lose?
The one that we tested?
Both of his arms.
It was very bloody.
Double amputation.
It was rough.
All the way across the sky.
Yeah, so like you can't even test him, but like I know he's royalty though.
Why don't his arms look metal like your arm?
Oh, because he got organic ones, but I paid a high price for my metal one.
It cost an arm and a leg. See, he's got organic ones, but I paid a high price for my metal one. It cost an arm and a leg.
See, he's got real arms.
He can make that joke.
Okay, understood.
Yeah, no, that all makes sense.
Yeah, yeah.
We'll just test your legs.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Are we still in combat?
Yeah, I'm just trying to keep it by the initiative roll,
just because it'll end up being a lot.
I think I can do something here.
Nikotima approaches you and tries to draw a blood sample from your left leg.
From my leg?
Okay.
So I have pressed the digitation,
so I can create a non-magical trinket or an illusionary image that can fit in your hand and last until the end of your next turn.
Can I make it look like the blood fills in their little thing and they think that they have my blood, but it's not?
You know what I mean?
I'm trying to make an illusion.
No, no, I got you.
I'm just reading through all the different options here of prestidigitation.
I'm trying to make an illusion. No, no, I got you.
I'm just reading through all the different options here of prestidigitation.
What if you take the needle and inject yourself and make an imaginary tricot of a used one and put it back in?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're not going to let you take the needle and do it yourself.
My leg's so sensitive, I need to...
Yeah, you could try this.
I don't know...
Yeah, you can try it.
How about this?
How about this?
How about this?
I bump into them.
Can we do some sort of unarmed strike where I knock the syringe off, like, the deck,
and then I make an illusionary?
No, because then they're going to find out that they're finding their things fake.
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
We're going to just roll with that.
Okay.
All right.
Nikotame pricks your left leg, takes a blood sample, puts it in the vial,
you use prestidigitation.
What would we say?
Like, this needs to be a check here of some kind.
I don't want to say it's sleight of hand because you're not, like,
physically changing.
Let's say deception.
Make a deception check.
Okay.
All right.
It's foggy, too.
Very foggy.
Very hard to see.
Oh, yeah.
But they can see, like, right in front of them.
Could they see right in front of them?
I guess not. So I have, is gift of the chromatic flag and still
active i wonder it doesn't really say i guess it just says i'm gonna say one yeah once yeah okay
okay well that was a nine but i think that this is worth the lucky so i'm gonna roll
again because we really need this to happen otherwise i'll waste it a lot all right it's another nine so uh they prick the blood you use your spell to try to make it appear
so that you try to make it appear like i'm just trying to like subdue the the little
it doesn't like light on fire or like there's like a small like a little so you're trying to
make it look like if it reacts that it doesn't happen yeah like there's no chemical reaction
gotcha okay yeah they drop the sample into the vial make it look like if it reacts that it doesn't happen. Yeah, like there's no chemical reaction.
Gotcha.
Okay, yeah, they drop the sample into the vial and it looks like it's going to work for just a second,
but then it erupts in a flame.
Oh, God.
Maybe because you've got those fake arms.
It's not...
And once again,
Nicotima points at you and says,
Intruder!
And we go back to square one.
Yeah.
and we go back to square one hey there stinky listeners if you want even more odorific content like the show you should follow
us at stinky dragon pod on twitter instagram and tiktok where you find animatic videos puppet
videos and much more come join us on the stinky dragon subreddit where fantastic folks like you
are constantly posting thoughtful theories magic items and hilarious memes about the show i need more content go check out the first two soundtracks
on your favorite music streaming platforms composed by micah reisinger plus if you post
on social media using hashtag stinky dragon pod we might name an npc in the show after you
for example gyupo the dragonborn scout named after at g port 619 nikotime the dragonborn scout named
after at nm10 king we also had some magic item
submissions in the previous episode the key mimic was submitted by at mike kern on twitter the
basket of arcana mana was submitted by daniel schultz on twitter laz river's elixir of reversal
submitted by at usher adam on twitter jade cat of playful spirit was submitted by magical madoka
on twitter slash double b flat on reddit and cockadoodle caller was submitted by Magical Madoka on Twitter, slash double B flat on Reddit.
And Cockadoodle Caller was submitted by AtKingKaiju7567 on Twitter.
Eggless of Equipping, NovaRogue13 on Rooster Teeth,
TheWasteOfTime, JordoAIG on Twitter,
and Gift of the Dramatic Flagging was submitted by Barkski on Twitter.
Also want to give a special thank you to some friends who provided VO for characters in previous episodes.
Mild Manor, voiced by Kayla Milton.
Brink Tussler, voiced by Eric Badour.
That's him.
Cap'n Marge, voiced by Zoe Terhune.
Sordo, voiced by Jack Petillo.
Paralite, voiced by Hannah McCarthy.
Bezler, voiced by Christian Young.
And Dr. Ahem, voiced by Micah Reisinger, who's our writer, editor, and composer.
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left to do i will say that was i'm happy for the journey we took there.
That was a lot of fun.
Is my calm emotions not still affecting them?
Well, this would be almost like a reset.
Like you reset it to indifferent.
Gotcha.
But then like this happens and then they get hostile again.
Right.
Great.
Thank you.
Sorry.
That's all good.
I hit the brakes momentarily.
I just used a lot of action.
So I wouldn't be surprised if that was the end of my turn.
Yeah, we're going to say that's it.
God, you took their horn. I'm not happy about that. I did. I could action surge and just
slit their throats. Oh, you could action surge.
Yeah, you tell me if you're done.
No, I'm done. Finally, it's Nikotima's
turn.
It's funny, I wasn't planning on them having
any real action. I was planning on them being calmed, so thank
you for freeing them.
You're welcome.
Yeah, Nikotima is going to try to... Ooh.
Yeah, Nikotima is going to try to hit you with his katana.
Who?
Sorry, Kaibork, because he's right in front of him and failed the test.
Hits AC 26.
That's a hit.
Roll that again.
Roll it again?
Yeah, roll that again.
Yeah, he's unlucky. Let's roll that back.
I'm using a lucky. Hits AC
24. Okay.
Ah!
The number he needed. Just blowing
luckies. Yeah, it hits.
The katana connects
with you doing 13 points of damage.
Yeah, so much HP now.
You strong boy. You big, big strong boy.
Still hurts my feelings. Big strong boy.
Plants his feet and then brings the katana back in the opposite direction for a second strike.
Oh.
Big, big strong boy.
AC 26.
Yeah, it hits, Gus.
You don't have to say it.
All right.
Big, big strong boy.
Doing...
Big, big strong boy.
Ooh, 28 points of damage.
Oh my gosh.
Look at that.
28 points of damage.
I'm like down a quarter health.
That was Nikotime.
Gyupo moves a little bit to reposition himself and inhales and then exhales a giant wave of cold air and ice.
What?
Hitting.
Well, it would definitely have Kyborg in it.
And I would say Bart stepped away away gum gum was behind the mast
it would probably hit mud as well so it would affect mud and kyborg both of you make constitution
saving throws it's not a good one it's a 10 that's a 21 i have advantage because of my diet gym
that's a 23 okay i also have gift of the chromatic dragon reactive resistance and it's when you take
uh acid blah blah blah cold damage you can use your reaction to give yourself resistance to that
instance of damage okay so you made the save and you're resistant so you'll end up taking a quarter
damage i'll take it mud however failed the. So Mud takes 29 points of damage.
Oh my god.
Yowza!
And you are stunned.
Kyborg takes 7 points of damage.
And is not stunned.
And once again, Gyupo shouts at the top of his lungs,
Intruders!
Chill out, guy.
Golly.
I think that, so, alright, you know, I think we can kill these guys.
I think so.
I think we can kill these guys. They hurt you guys significantly.
I would not lose sleep.
Mud, it's your turn, but you are stunned.
I don't know if there's anything you can do.
I don't know what the effect of stun,
how it's worn off or what its effects are.
A stunned creature is incapacitated,
can't move, can speak only falteringly.
Creature automatically fails strength
and dexterity saving
throws attack rolls against the creature have advantage so you're kind of like stuck in place
at the end of your turn you roll again to see if it wears off okay so i can do things that don't
involve me moving or talking correct okay i'm gonna try something and see what you let me do with this
because it doesn't it's it doesn't designate it as a thing I have to talk about or move.
I'm going to expend two wild shape slots and turn into a water elemental.
Interesting.
As an action, you can magically see...
Elemental.
Elemental, my dear Watson.
Now, it doesn't list stun as a thing here, but on condition immunities,
water elementals are immune to exhaustion,
grappled, paralyzed, petrified,
poisoned, prone, restrained, or unconscious.
No, it would specifically say stunned.
Okay, so stunned is a thing.
Yeah, it's a specific condition.
Okay, yeah, I don't see any reason
you cannot wild shape,
so you can turn into the water elemental, but the stun effect persists.
And the stun effect means I can't take actions.
Correct.
You can't move and can speak only falteringly.
You're incapacitated.
This guy blows ice.
Well, I'll turn into water.
You can't take actions or reactions.
Then I was trying to see if that would actually stop my stunt.
If it didn't, then there's not really a point of me doing this.
Yeah, probably for the best.
Save my wild shape.
Turn to a fire elemental.
Yeah, on a ship.
Great.
That we're trying to take in.
Well, then if I'm stunned, I can't do anything.
So then I'm going to have Gumbo make sure and take that horn a little further.
He's going to keep hermit crabbing.
Just like toss it overboard.
I should have like googled
D&D beasts that are
immune to stun. But I didn't.
And I could have turned into that.
Anyways, that's my turn. Thank you. Okay, make a
constitution saving throw
to see if you break the stun. Oh, could I slap
my butt then? I can't move. No. I can't?
Well, you can't move. Oh, I can't
move at all. Not even like my arm.
Gotcha, gotcha. I thought I was thinking like move forward.
Constitution saving throw? Yes.
I can do a constitution saving throw. I'm pretty good
at those. That's how we got here.
20. Boom.
Okay. Hesha. Hesha.
Touch, touch.
Yeah, at the end of your turn, you start to
feel movement, like blood flowing through your
extremities again. You can move and talk once more.
And I action surge.
You don't have that.
Action surge.
You got to say it like that, baby.
I hurt my throat.
So the fog cloud is a concentration spell.
So since you took damage, you need to make a concentration check
to make sure that the spell stays up.
What the heck is that?
It's a DC 10 constitution.
14.
14.
Okay, yeah.
So you take some damage and the fog cloud, it's tough to keep concentration on the fog cloud,
but you still manage to keep your mind sharp and focused on the cloud and the cloud does stay.
Yeah.
I'm good at this.
That's right.
I could do this all day.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
I can make fog all day.
Okay.
Gum, gum.
Do they know where I am?
Do they see me?
They don't know.
You did yell.
You are a chicken.
I'm kidding.
Well, it's obscured.
Remember, there is a fog cloud, so they can't see very far.
And then you did retreat into the fog and are hiding behind one of the masts.
So I'll say, you have a good feeling that they probably do not know where you are.
But conversely, you can no longer feeling that they probably do not know where you are, but conversely,
you can no longer see them either, though.
Okay.
I want to go up to where they are quietly.
Is that attack of opportunity?
How could you see where they are, though?
He's entering.
He withdrew,
so he would know more or less
what direction to go in.
I can hear them fighting and stuff.
Magical hearing.
They did yell.
Gum-Gum is part bad.
And then...
Echo location.
Which one was the next to attack in order?
The next one in the order is Nikotima.
They're both very low in the list, though.
They're after all of us.
Are we trying to kill them or stop?
Oh, we're killing.
I'm killing.
Yeah, full on.
I just worry that if we kill them,
that whole boatload of enemies...
I worry that with that second yell of intruder,
this is going to turn into a group effort.
Well, I guess I'll go up to him
and I will attack recklessly with my axe of kindness
right on his bonker.
On Nikotima, the one you said,
specifically the one that's acting next.
Called shot, he's going for his bonker.
Which I don't know what that is.
Is that a head?
Yeah.
No one has ever called a head a bonker.
No.
I guarantee you someone somewhere
would have been, you know, acceptable.
So I'm going to...
Hit him in the bonker.
I did that recklessly,
so I'm doing it again.
Better than hitting him in their boinker.
That's a 16.
Ooh, yeah, that does hit.
Okay.
So hazy.
He sinks the axe into Kyborg's chest. Gob, yeah, that does hit. Okay. So hazy, he sinks the axe into Kyborg's chest.
Ah, gob, gob.
So that's a 3 plus...
Well, no, because I did the wrong one.
I did D8 instead of a D10.
You got to roll a D10.
Okay.
9.
Plus my rage damage, which is plus three, so that's 12.
And how does he look after that?
Should I hit him again?
So 12?
Yeah.
I think these guys might have more than 12 HP.
Yeah, he's still looking pretty healthy.
All right.
They took me down almost 30 points with one hit.
Well, then I will hit him again.
There you go.
I like the way that Gum-Gum does combat where he hits him with an axe and then just goes recklessly.
Are you okay?
Are we still fighting?
Yeah, we're still fighting.
19.
That is a 17 plus 20 damage.
20 damage.
How's he looking?
Just ask every time.
He's a little bloody, but he still seems very healthy. 20 damage. 20 damage. As you're looking. Just ask every time.
He's a little bloody, but he still seems very healthy.
Nice.
Actually, when you make that second attack with him, as the axe is coming in close and
about to contact him, with his hand, he just pushes it aside and you end up missing.
Wait.
What?
The second?
Wait, so I didn't do that 20 damage?
No. Just happened. Has that been an option this whole time that we could do yeah if you have the appropriate reactions and feats yeah
Oh, I do I
Actually should have rolled to double check that
Not 20
Smacks your axe out of the air and it actually redirects back to you and you end up hitting yourself with your own axe
Do I get to like roll to dodge it?
No.
No?
Stop hitting yourself.
Stop hitting yourself.
We might die.
So those 20 points, you take those 20 points of damage.
No, I take 10.
Oh, you're raging.
Yeah, 10.
I don't think we're going to live through this one, guys.
Okay, and then I will, I guess,
I use my bonus action to hit him with a spear.
You can use a spear as a bonus action?
That's not a bonus action. Are you switching your weapon with the bonus action to hit him with a spear You can use a spear as a bonus action?
That's not a bonus action Are you switching your weapon with a bonus action
And then attacking?
Oh we have three attacks
No I don't have three attacks
Or wait
I'm gonna use my bonus action
And hey
I wanna do fall damage on him
I don't think Chris knows what bonus action is
Yeah I can teleport and I wanna teleport And you wanna do fall damage on him. I don't think Chris knows what bonus action is. Yeah, I can teleport, and I want to teleport.
And you want to do fall damage on someone?
What does that even mean?
How big is this guy?
He's trying to Mario this Goomba.
He's about the same size as you.
About the same size as me.
Is your thing a bonus action?
My teleport?
Yeah.
Which teleport?
My rage teleport.
Yeah.
Can I do that, Gus?
I still don't know what you're asking me. He wants to go
30 feet in the air and I will land on him. He wants to
fall on him and essentially give him
damage by falling on him. Yeah, you also
take fall damage. Yeah. He's trying to Mario.
Just do it, Gus. Just do it. Sure.
Okay, there you go. It goes faster
if you just let him do this. I like how Gus
is getting peer pressured into doing it. 30 feet in the air
and I
with my elbow out,
and I fall down, landing on him.
Pretty cool.
Okay.
How do we do damage for that?
So I know what damage you would take from that.
You just give him the same damage?
And then he's doing an unarmed strike?
Yeah, roll, let's call it,
roll a D6 and add your strength modifier for damage.
I'm going to assume you hit him.
I'm going to give you that.
Okay.
For my strength modifier, that's nine.
So 13 points of damage.
Plus my rage.
No.
I'm not giving you that.
I'm not giving you rage damage on that.
I already gave you a d6.
You're not attacking me.
For free.
I let a free hit.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
All right.
Thank you.
Nine.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Okay.
Nine points of damage.
Nine points of damage.
You land on your elbow right on the funny bone
and take 13 points of damage.
Is that...
So would I half that?
Oh, right.
You would half that because you are raging.
So I'll say six.
Okay.
Not bad, Chris.
And what did he take?
Nine.
Okay.
That was something.
It was something.
All you boys needing to end your turn with damage.
The chicken, meanwhile, continues clucking and scratching at the deck.
I don't want to be lumped into that statement.
All right, I'm done.
Some of you boys.
I take offense to that.
It's like your MO.
Farts.
Yeah.
Am I within 60 feet of these two fellas?
Yes, you are not too far away.
You withdrew last round.
Like 30 feet.
Yeah, you didn't withdraw too far.
Let's do some...
Kill Bart.
Kill.
A lot of daggers.
Kill Bart? You got it.
Kill Bart.
Kill Bart.
Bart.
Kill.
Bart.
Kill.
Could I position my cloud of daggers in a way where it hits both of them?
I know I might hit Gum Gum at the same time, though.
You will 100% hit Gum Gum.
I'll say you'll be able to get both of them, but yeah, you will get Gum Gum as well. He's on both of them. I know I might hit Gum Gum at the same time, though. Uh, yeah. I'll say you'll be able
to get both of them,
but yeah, you will get
Gum Gum as well.
He's on top of them.
Well, are you going to be okay?
Yeah.
All right.
I'm going to do it
at the sixth level.
Micah just started.
Oh, man.
Is Gum Gum still raging?
Yeah.
Okay, okay.
Wee's laughing
because that's powerful.
Yeah, no, I know.
That's a lot don't
worry i'll get i got something after all right so it's 12 d4 good lord the damage increases by 2d4
for every spell slot above second level wow do it all right so it only turned out to be 26
that's good that's for for one spell, that's pretty good.
Yeah.
Man, that's a lot.
And then Gum Gum would take only half of that.
13.
That's not bad.
A vicious, swirling cloud of blades and death just appears on the deck.
Most people can't really see it, but Bart, it really amuses you.
And they don't know where it came from, right?
Right.
Excellent.
Just appeared out of nowhere.
Oh, that is crazy.
This is happening. Oh, it's a blade? Right. Excellent. Just appeared out of nowhere. Oh, that is crazy. This is happening.
Oh, it's a blade storm.
Watch out.
Some weather we're having.
And then could I use a bonus action to cast Mantle of Inspiration,
which would be one use of my Bardic Inspiration to grant 11 temporary hit points
up to four creatures I could see.
And you got them goggles.
Yeah.
So you guys take 11 temporary, or add 11 temporary
hit points. Thank you. And then
also, each creature can immediately use
its reaction to move up to its speed, so
Gum-Gum, if you wanted to get away. And does
not provoke attack of opportunity. And does not provoke.
I'm actually totally fine
staying where I am, but I would like
to do my backlash
where I do my rage roll again.
Because I took damage. I gave him damage by doing cloud of daggers because he was there.
Yes.
Gum gum.
How far can we move?
Your movement.
And how far is the side of the boat?
The opposite side where the other boat is is about 30, 40 feet.
Okay.
And then the side closest behind you.
Correct.
The other one behind you is, oh, it's like five feet right behind you.
Also, quick little question, too.
What is the rest of the crew doing right now?
Where's Captain Marge and Pearl crew in this whole fight?
They are off to the side because I didn't want to have to roll for them, too.
Okay.
Mud can do 30 feet.
Can I go off the side of the boat?
Yes.
Okay, I'm off the side of the boat.
But let's deal with his wild magic.
We roll here real quick.
It's a one. Chat H and roll slash around you each creature of your choice that you can see within 30 feet of you
must succeed on constitution saving throw
or take 1d12 necrotic
damage. You also gain 1d12 temporary
hit points. Constitution saving throw,
huh? They have a plus one on
that. Nikotime, that's
a five. Gyupo,
17. So Nikotime fails. So that's a five gupo 17 so nikotime fails so that's uh seven okay take seven and uh
do you say on a successful save do they take half no so no damage on a successful save and then i'll
gain 12 to break points is that an addition in addition to the 11 i just gave you or would it
be instead yeah replace it oh so the way it worked is this would have been a reaction immediately to the cloud of daggers.
You would have gotten 12.
Then Bart would have used mantle of inspiration.
And that 11 could have replaced your 12.
Okay.
I'll just keep the 12 then.
Can I do that?
Okay.
So then that was that.
You jumped off.
Kyborg, are you going to move at all?
I absolutely will move away from these two.
Okay.
How far?
The maximum distance.
Whatever your movement speed is, I guess.
Yeah. So you move 30 feet away. You lose sight of them because of the fog cloud. I stand? The maximum distance. Whatever your movement speed is, I guess. Yeah.
So you move 30 feet away.
You lose sight of them because of the fog cloud.
I stand right where I was then.
Oh, you don't want to.
They can't see you.
You can't see them.
No, no, no, no.
I move away.
I move away.
Okay.
So you move away and you lose sight of them in the fog cloud.
Yeah, sure.
Bart, do you have anything else?
I think that's it.
A very, I want to say, busy turn by Bart there.
A lot happened.
But short and sweet.
Just like Bart.
Just like Bart.
Yeah, that's his motto.
Short and sweet and good enough to eat.
Bart, roll me a perception check.
Uh-oh.
More enemies.
Get on board.
Oh, okay.
Rerolling that because it was a one.
13.
Okay.
You're the only one who can see this because you can see through the fog cloud.
But yeah, two more silver dragonborn because you can see through the fog cloud.
We have two more silver dragonborn have crossed the plank from the other ship.
Do they appear hostile?
They have their swords drawn and it looks like they're looking around.
They can't see very well though because of the fog cloud.
It doesn't look like they see any of you guys.
You can only see them because of your goggles.
How far away am I from these guys?
I guess I'd be like pretty far.
I'd say about 30 feet or so i guess because i
already used a bonus action i can't like walk up towards them to try to have a conversation this
would have been after your turn okay their initiative is right after yours that's the
reason i have you rolled now gotcha i was gonna try to be like oh everything is good here gentlemen
just jump off the ship no one of them uh is walking around kind of with its sword out, kind of like
trying to poke around, see
what's in the area. It doesn't seem like it's finding
you, though. Kyborg, it's your turn.
Alright. I have the longbow of
Kristalina, and I say, forever
winter, which means that...
Like that? Yeah. Forever winter.
Forever winter. The target of your
ranged attack becomes... No, no, no, hold on.
Forever winter! There it is. Alright. The target of your range attack because no no no hold on FOREVER WINTER!
There it is
The target of your range attack becomes your sworn enemy either until it dies or you can use a bonus action to change your sworn
Enemy you can only have one enemy at a time when your sworn enemy dies
When you make a ranged attack roll with the weapon against your sworn enemy you have advantage of the roll
In addition your target gains no benefit from cover other than total cover,
and you suffer no disadvantage due to long range.
So does that overcome the fog?
If not, I have a backup.
What do you mean, does it overcome the fog?
Your target gains no benefit from cover.
Well, there really was no benefit from cover to begin with.
Like, that's like if someone's, like, hiding behind, like, a wall
or something like that, or, like, the mass. Got it, okay. Well, then that's like if someone's like hiding behind like a wall or something like that or like the mass.
Got it.
Okay.
Well, then that's fine.
I am also going to do, because he's in the fog, I'm also going to use a arcane shot with a seeking arrow.
With a seeking arrow, you can choose one creature you have seen in the past minute and fire an arrow that flies towards that creature moving around the corners and ignoring three quarters
cover and half cover. Yeah, it does an
additional 1d6. So had you stepped away last
turn? I don't remember. I did step away.
I'm trying to get away from their swords.
So yeah, this would allow you to overcome the fog
and you don't have any disadvantage
because you're at an appropriate range
distance. Yes. I see
what you're doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I'm going to fire off the long air bow.
So that's a
13, but I have advantage because he's
my sworn enemy. Yeah, roll 10.
So I'm going to roll that again.
That's 15.
No, that does not hit. Lucky.
Wait, didn't you use the seeker arrow? What does the seeker arrow
do? Doesn't it? That's, uh, it's
arcane shot, so it's only if I make
the roll does it come into effect
so i can roll lucky so normally with like bursting arrow or grasping arrow like bursting
arrow specifically says immediately after the arrow hits a creature like you need to create
the hit and then you call bursting arrow okay with seeking arrow it doesn't have that it says
you can choose a creature you've seen and fire an arrow that flies toward that creature going around corners.
If the creature's in range and a path is available,
the creature needs to make a dexterity saving throw or take damage.
So it's on the target to make a dex save,
and if they fail, they take damage automatically.
Okay, so then the rolls that I just made are for you to roll against?
No, no, no. You don't need to do that.
If you call a Seeking Arrow, then it's on me to make a dexterity saving throw.
So I'm going to do that. Do that. Please, I need this. You don't need to do that. If you call a Seeking Arrow, then it's on me to make a Dexterity saving throw. So I'm going to do that.
Do that.
Please. I need this.
My friends are watching.
Seven.
Who?
Plus six. Thirteen.
That's a successful save.
They need a DC 12.
Oh, wow. That low, huh?
Yes, it says.
It makes the deck save DC 12 or take damage from the arrow.
So no, the Seeking Arrow fails to connect.
Okay.
That's fine. That's fine.
That's okay. Because
Ah!
This is the sounds of a man who has a plan.
Aha!
Or thinks he does. Curving shot!
When you make an attack roll with a magic
arrow and miss, you can use
a bonus action to re-roll the attack roll
against a different target within 60 feet of the
original target.
Well, this wasn't... Okay.
Now we're... Because it wasn't an
attack roll. No, but
he missed, and so now he's attacking someone else.
He says re-roll the attack
roll. Where's
curving shot? I don't know if you can...
When you make an attack roll
with a magic arrow, I think what
this is saying,
so if you had rolled like a, not an arcane shot,
but a regular magic arrow,
which all your arrows by default are magic and miss,
you can use a bonus action to roll.
I'll say, sure, why not?
I'll say this.
You can make an attack roll.
I'm trying to be fun here.
We'll make an attack roll against Gupo.
By the way, we love you, subreddit.
You don't need to make posts every time you figure out that Gus got something wrong.
Unless it's in our favor and makes us feel nice to Gus.
No, I know it.
He worked so hard.
It's a lot to keep track of, too.
Yes.
You got to make your attack roll, right?
I can use a bonus action, right?
This is a bonus action.
Yeah, you're right.
I was going to reassign it and say he was my sworn enemy.
All right, so what am I making?
Just make an attack roll.
This is like some Magic Arrow Kennedy stuff.
29!
29! That does hit.
I was thinking more like Wanted.
I was thinking Runaway with Tom Selleck.
Classic 80s action movie.
I do a... Does that hit?
8 points of damage? Oh, plus the 1d6
because the seeking? Or, because Seeking?
Or do we lose that?
Yeah, the Seeking goes away.
Because I goofed.
Yeah.
Okay.
I feel like there is still a plus on here.
Why'd you miss the Seeking arrow?
Deck save.
Well, okay, I hate to do this to myself,
but that's only when it's against my sworn enemy.
Goopo is not my sworn enemy.
I'll take an Inspiration die for being so nice and telling you guys the truth.
All right, so that was that, right?
That was that attack?
Yes.
Okay.
Only two more to go.
I liked the taste of that.
Let's do it again.
I'm going to... Gum Gum,
cheers on. Yeah!
Gum Gum, you can't see anything. I know, but he can still
hear it. I'm once again going to do
a Seeking Arrow against my
sworn enemy. Yeah, because it's
the cutie me!
Cutie me! Since Blaine doesn't have a character voice,
he's been talking in characters this entire time.
Yes.
Yes.
You got him.
I'm just firing into a cloud of fog.
Every time Blaine yells, I always hear,
it's bullying, friend.
It's bullying, friend.
There's no limit on how many seeking arrows you can cast?
No, I have two arcane shots.
I am using my second arcane shot to do another one i will roll the and i will mark those decks
save here just let you know guys i have my entire next turn planned out okay great yeah that is the
successful deck save okay so it misses hurt people oh curving shot there it is take that
hold on hold on hold on hold on yeah curving shot is a it is. Take that, Goobo! Take that, Goobo!
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Yeah, curving shot is a bonus action.
So you already used a bonus action, so you can't do that again.
What if I change one of my normal attacks with the bonus action?
Is that a possibility?
No, that is not.
I see, I see.
Well, so then that arrow just flew off into nowhere.
Okay.
Ow!
Uh, heck.
Can I run back in there?
Yes.
All right.
You have not moved, so you can move.
Okay.
And then could I, we've talked about this before.
I don't want to get cheaty, so I'm going to ask for permission.
I have my hand cannon and we've talked about exchanging weapons and what that looks like.
But since it's my arm and it's already out.
Yeah.
You could just point. Okay.
Then I'm gonna... Basically, since you're holding
a bow, you just hold the bow in your other arm
and then point with the hand cat.
It's like nothing. Yes.
Yes.
So then I want to run up...
Can you hit them both? I should do
goop-o. Is it area attack?
It is. I think it's like a bullet, so
I don't think it's area attack. Do you line him up?
No, I don't know. Chris, stop crissing his turn oh he is kissing me right now okay uh so then i'm going to use my hand cannon and that is on gupo yeah we're gonna go for gupo
okay that's it 18 plus 5 23 so that's a hit uh let me roll my check first to see if i get knocked prone or not okay bc 16
this is a strength right plus 5 24 so not knocked pro okay but you still roll again we still roll
46 bludgeoning and then 46 fire damage so there's your bludgeoning uh i see a one in there that's a
bummer and then here's your fire That's a 17 and a 17.
That's 34 points of damage,
Guppo. Yeah, he's not happy about that.
How's he looking? A little rough. Like he got shot.
He still got fight. He still got fight in him.
He's like, you know, those cartoons where like
Daffy Duck gets a bomb exploded
in his face and it spills backwards.
That's him right now. Yeah. Slightly crooked.
Is that it for the mighty cyborg?
That's all, folks.
Don't.
Don't.
Sometimes other people want to play. Yeah, that's true.
Action!
No, it's true.
Was the distance that I ran up to them
my full distance?
Yes, because you said you used your full action
to run back. Then I'm going to just stand there
and wait for my next katana.
Which is coming soon.
Bart, you're the only one who can see this,
but the other dragonborn that walked on board.
The two of them?
Yeah, they're like splitting up, kind of walking around.
The second one's moving around, trying to find you all, I guess.
There's a fog.
Yes.
Yeah, that's why they're not just like immediately attacking.
It's a fog. It's a fog. Yes. Yeah, that's why they're not just like immediately attacking. It's a fog.
It's a fog.
A very good cover.
Bart, go ahead and roll me a perception check.
Again?
Yes.
Oh, no.
I'm going to see more.
I'm going to see more of them, aren't I?
18.
You notice that two other scout ships similar to the one that's currently next to the Jebediah
are also starting to draw closer.
We can take him.
Question.
Can we all jump in the Ahem-mobile and GTFO?
Hmm.
I don't know.
Can you?
Kyborg never runs against a fight.
Or let it have.
How many ships now?
One tied up with the Jebediah
and then two additional ones that are approaching.
I like those odds.
You're the only one that sees it, though.
Is there a way I could communicate with my...
They're all like...
We're all pretty close.
Yeah.
We're all pretty close.
Guys, a lot of enemies coming in, a lot of ships coming in.
We should probably try to get out of here if we want to live,
considering two of these guys did like a quarter damage on us.
Speaking of these guys, it's Nikotima's turn.
Oh, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
What idiot's standing near Nikotima?
He's very happy to see Kyborg right next to him again.
Flash is that beautiful smile.
Yeah, mud's over the side.
I'm right next to him.
GumGum, you're also there, aren't you?
Aren't they in a cloud of daggers?
Oh, that's right.
They just started their turn.
So I believe you reroll the 24d4.
12d4.
12d4, sorry. Jeez. I'll do 24 if you want.roll the 24d4. Yeah, 12d4, sorry.
Jeez.
I'll do 24 if you want.
Here they come.
30.
Which means...
Kubo died.
Kubo died.
Kyborg would have re-entered.
I was imagining that I re-entered my spot.
That Bart.
I had previously missed.
Yeah, I just resumed that position.
Okay, making sure.
I'm not trying to get cheaty, but like...
No, no, it makes sense because you were there. I got you. You're right. Oh, jeez. No, I just resumed that position. I'm not trying to get cheaty, but like... No, no, it makes sense, because you were there.
I got you. You're right.
Oh, jeez.
30 points of damage for Nikoteme, who is...
I guess Mud is the only one who cannot see this,
but yeah, Nikoteme is finally not looking great.
Finally. Only just now.
Yeah.
If he's Nikoteme.
Meh.
How's Ogubo looking?
Well, we'll get to his.
It's not his turn yet.
Sure, sure, sure.
Man, he needs to move.
Attack of opportunity.
Yeah, but that's going to provoke an attack of opportunity from both.
Sounds like he should just stand in the cloud of daggers a little longer.
So too.
He's going to open up two attacks of opportunity.
Go on.
You want to move or you want to stay?
What do you want to do?
Yeah, he's going to try. Even though this will up two attacks of opportunity. Go on. You want to move or you want to stay? What do you want to do? Yeah, he's going to try.
Even though this will provoke two attacks of opportunity,
he's going to try to move out from his current position
to get out of the cloud of daggers.
Kyborg and Gum-Gum both get attacks of opportunity on him.
So I can just shoot the longbow of crystallina then?
No, it has to be, I believe, melee.
You can't use a range for attack of opportunity.
So they're in the cloud of daggers, but Kyborg
isn't? It's because it's only a five foot cube.
Oh, it's a small cube. It's really small.
Oh, is attack of opportunity reaction?
Oh.
Yeah, is the reaction.
You cannot take another reaction until
the start of your next turn, but he did
start a turn since then.
So Bart cast
the Mantle of Inspiration. Yeah, Kyborg
had his turn, so his reaction has reset.
But I haven't, because I used my
rage. Correct.
Well, also, you
moved as a reaction from Bart
and you haven't gotten a sense of that. Yeah, so
Gum-Gum would not have a reaction, but Kyborg
would. Okay.
And it would have to be a melee. a not long though has to be man again I'll take disadvantage and do
melee at a plan all right fine 15 miss oh I mean turn it up you cut to me I'm
lucky I'm rolling again really for this melee attack yes not for like 22 it's
like reverberated yeah that hits that hits. Doing 5 points.
Wow, really? For that?
Listen, alright.
I gotta do something, man.
He falls over dead. No, I'm just kidding.
Why would you do that?
He did not like that.
So after stepping out of the cloud of daggers,
Nikotima pivots, turns,
and slashes at you with his katana.
Katana? Okay.
Miss. It's a one,
so he misses and falls
slightly off balance, and the
tip of his katana briefly becomes
lodged in the deck of the Jebediah.
And he falls backwards into the cloud of daggers again.
Gus,
I want you to realize the sacrifice that I'm making
here. What's that? Because of the longer
bow of crystallinity, he's my sworn enemy. He has advantage
on attacks against me. I can't
let it slide. I am a man of honor.
Thank you for that. Maybe his katana
does not get stuck. His katana does not get
stuck. Well, no, wait, it does. It gets
stuck in your spine.
He hits AC 21, which
I assume is a hit. It sure is.
21 points of damage.
He spins, bringing the katana around in a wide arc, taking a second swing.
Oh, come on.
What are you doing?
Don't forget he has advantage.
That's an 11.
He's got advantage, which means he has a 20, which I assume is a hit.
Doing 24 points of damage.
Man, you are sliced and diced, my dude.
Then he shouts, friends, over here.
All right.
Gyupo's turn.
Cloud of Draggers.
Cloud of Draggers.
Yeah, Cloud of Draggers.
That's right.
Drag queens all over the world,
come in and help us.
Roll your Cloud of Draggers damage again for uh cupo here please
oh you got it damage barbara damage here we come to save the day with another 12d 433
how much was it 33 yeah that's uh pretty bad. He's not looking good at all.
He's dead though, right?
No, he's still alive.
I do want to say for being so stand up Kyborg,
go and give yourself an inspiration die.
I'll take it.
Thank you.
He's going to use it for something dumb.
Use it now.
Yupo needs to move.
No one has an attack of opportunity left,
so he can move out just fine.
Yeah, he's going to step out from the cloud of daggers, kind of withdrawing a little bit.
And then, yeah, he'll close in on Gum-Gum and take an attack on Gum-Gum.
Hi.
AC 22, which I assume is a hit.
Yeah.
21 points of damage, where you take half, so you take 10.
Okay.
Swings around, makes a second attack.
Okay.
But he has advantage because you attack recklessly, correct?
Yeah.
All right.
So these guys have like katanas and stuff.
Is this like the setting?
Did I attack him recklessly?
It doesn't matter.
He failed either way.
I was going to ask the clarifying question,
but it doesn't matter.
Both of his rolls missed.
So in the end, it doesn't matter.
And I'm sorry, you're asking a question?
Oh, yeah, because they have katanas and stuff.
Is this like in the dragons?
Is this kind of like a Japanese kind of vibe, like setting, you know?
I feel like we haven't explored that sort of.
You know, you really don't know yet.
You haven't gotten into Torah.
Yeah, they're not letting us into the front door.
Mm hmm.
OK, well, that's it for you, Poe.
Bart, you do not need to roll a perception check for this.
Who do I see now?
You see the wall that surrounds Totora is now on fire.
Oh, my God.
Bart's just like, everything's falling apart.
Mud, it's your turn.
You've gone overboard.
Well, yeah, I'm about to go overboard.
You said you went overboard.
I went to the side of the ship. Did I also fall?
I think you said that you jumped.
Yeah, I went off the side. Did that also, the time of that involved my fall?
Yeah, you went off the side. Yeah.
Okay, that's what I was asking. Like, if I went there. Okay.
Doesn't matter.
I'm going to do two things.
I'm going to use Combat Wild Shape and I'm going to turn into a giant owl.
Actually, wait. First, I'm going to cast a spell. Okay. It's because I forget. I got to do I'm gonna turn into a giant owl. Okay wait first. I'm gonna cast a spell
Okay, cuz I forget I got to do that before I turn into an animal. I'm gonna cast conjure animals
I'm gonna cast it at six level
So I'm gone which means I get twice as many animals. Don't worry Gus. I got you on this
I'm gonna summon 16 giant owls
I'm in 16 giant owls.
Oh, thank God.
Hold on, I gotta make a note of this real fast.
16 giant owls, okay.
Giant owls, not chickens.
And then I'm... Oh yeah, the chicken's still on the deck.
It's still like...
And it's normal size.
I turn into a giant owl as well.
17 giant owls.
Beautiful.
Technically, yes.
I send my giant owls to pick up my friends
and abscond away from this situation with full
confidence that Marge and her crew can deal with this.
You're Gandalfing this?
I'm Gandalfing this.
Also, the owls have flyby.
Can the owls see into the fog?
They actually have advantage on it. They have keen sense.
Does the fog drop because you're casting it out?
It does. Okay. Either way, they have keen sense.
Beautiful.
They also have flyby, so they don't take any attacks of opportunity when they go near the...
If they fly by the dragonborn.
So, like, let's just divvy out, like, you know, let's say the narrative of this is what I'm hoping for is, like, a couple...
I mean, one of each of these guys can pick up each of my friends.
The giant owl has that capacity.
Okay.
of these guys can pick up each of my friends. The giant owl has that capacity.
Okay. But the rest run
you know, interference
to allow for an
easy exit. Gotcha.
Distraction. Because at the very least, there are
13 other owls
that don't have to carry them. Right. Well, let's say
12. One grabs gumbo. So they can
die. The owls? Sure, they're
just fey. They're temp. Yeah,
they're fodder. Who? Yeah, they're what? Who? The owls. Who, they're just fey. They're temp. Yeah, they're fodder. Who? They're what? Who?
The owls. Who? Oh god.
She went right for it.
Headed sinker.
You're welcome, you're welcome Barbara.
Barbara's coy little smile.
So,
that's what we're doing.
Okay, I have my head wrapped around this, so
just to be clear, you
summoned 16 giant owls,
turned into an owl,
and at the same time,
the fog cloud is dissipating.
Does it go away instantly
or does it take a little time?
And Flight of the Valkyries plays
while an army of owls
descend upon the ship.
No, it's not.
It lasts the duration.
But then your concentration drops.
Concentration.
So then it's not entirely gone,
but it's dissipating at this point.
It's a lot easier to see now.
Okay.
And so your owls are going
and picking everyone up.
And then where are they reconvening?
We're heading towards the wall.
You're heading towards the wall
that you now see is on fire.
Yes.
A little firewall.
But good news,
we can fly over the firewall.
Okay.
Make a perception check.
As I'm being pulled away, can I ask the chicken,
is this a good idea to go to the house?
24, not bad.
24 perception.
I don't want to ask the chickens.
I was wondering if you're going to ask the chicken anything.
Or what should we do?
The chicken says, the meaning of life is to live.
And then it disappears.
Let's go to the house. Okay, your perception check was 24. The chicken says the meaning of life is to live and then it disappears. It goes.
Okay.
Your percent check was 24.
Now that the fog cloud is dissipating and you're out of the fog cloud, you also notice that there are cannons, ballistas, and archers on top of the wall.
But it's on fire.
Fire wall.
From your perspective, it looks like it's on fire.
I don't want to get too tied up into it, but yes.
So the wall looks like it's on fire.
However, the people on the wall are not acting like they're on a wall that's on fire.
Correct.
Okay.
What's the cloud cover?
Partly cloudy.
Could we obscure ourselves in clouds?
Yeah.
But you can move 60 feet, so you can start that.
Well, they actually can do more than that.
It's like anti-aircraft.
Well, okay.
Can they do more?
Well, would you call picking them up their action?
Right.
It's like they got to go in, grab them, and then continue their move.
Okay.
Then we go 60 feet up.
Okay.
All of them?
I'd say, could I leave the 12 to Pester?
Pester.
I won't make you roll all their attacks.
Yeah.
So they're just like staying down on the ship and then you and three others.
Four.
Gumbo.
Four others fly up 60 feet.
Yeah.
Okay.
Maybe more.
What? If they're going to shoot at us, maybe have a couple feet. Yeah. Okay. Maybe more. What?
If they're going to shoot at us, maybe have a couple extra.
Oh, right.
And Duncan.
Remember, Duncan was going to be your advisor.
Fine.
We'll get Duncan, who's been doing nothing in this combat.
He's tiny.
Do you want him to make coffee?
He'll make you coffee.
How far is the wall away from us?
I think earlier I said it was about 150 feet. I'm going to stay with that.
That's what it looks like.
Then sure.
How about this instead?
I want those 11 owls to just serve that. That's what it looks like. Then sure. How about this instead? I want those, what was it, 11
owls to just serve as
obscuring us while we fly up.
So it's not just seeing that, oh yeah, there's five owls
going up. Like, we're all going up.
All the owls are going up.
So there are 17 owls flying up in the air.
That makes more sense to me. And Flight of the Valkyries is playing.
Yes. How does that go, Blink?
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
John, right? Yes. Alright, isink? John, right?
Yes.
All right.
Is there anything else, Mud?
Wow.
Are you sure you're not a bard?
No, nothing else.
All right.
Gum, gum.
Well, I'm carried up with an owl, right?
Yeah.
So...
I don't know if there's anything you can do.
Anything I could do to help us escape at this point.
You know, just ready up for something. Yeah, the only thing
I could do is I could make it like
rain hail or something, but I don't think that's gonna help us.
Rain hail! I'll ready
my attack. I'll wait. Okay.
So you're just gonna delay. Is there
anything specifically you would want to wait for?
Yeah, I'm gonna wait for
an attack on us. And then
you're gonna act. Yeah, whenever something
attacks us. Okay, then it going to act. Yeah, whenever something attacks us.
Okay.
Then it is... It's my turn.
This is like one of the other dudes,
the Taurens.
Maybe.
Yeah, one of the dragonborn on the wall
sees you all flying through the air.
Oh, no.
It seems like he lets loose a flurry of arrows
into the multiple owls.
But not us.
There's a one in four chance that I'll say that it hits you guys. I'm going to roll this one D4. If it's a one, it's one But not us. There's a 1 in 4 chance that I'll say
that it hits you guys. I'm going to roll this 1d4.
If it's a 1, it's 1 to you guys. It's a 4.
It kills
two of the other owls.
It hits them.
Oh my god.
I'm going to say you don't even know the HP of a giant owl.
I have a tab open
with giant owl HP.
It's not very much, honestly.
It's, what, I mean, AC 12, HP 19.
Well, if you rolled them.
That's that one.
The ballista turns and also opens fire.
Oh, my God.
I don't think they want us in this town.
Clearly they don't.
Question, though.
We're all disguised as some type of dragonborn or kobold, right?
Yes.
So if they saw us flying in, would they think of us as enemy?
All they know from their perspective is they see you leaving the area where there was a problem.
Okay.
So yeah, I mean, if you land, maybe?
Question mark?
I don't know.
Some more deception checks.
We can't do that.
I can't.
Come, come, come, Captain.
Ballista fires missing missing you all.
Landing in the ocean. This is really
more suited for a bigger target as opposed
to small targets like you all have.
Another sniper fires arrows
up at you guys.
Another couple owls fall.
Cannon fires.
Oh my gosh.
Should we not be going over this way?
I just threw out an idea.
Yeah, no, no, no.
It's good.
Better than getting... Cannon misses.
Stick time.
Yeah.
Bart, do you have any ideas here?
It's your turn.
Oh my gosh.
Okay, so where...
Are we flying towards the wall, not over the wall yet?
Correct.
Correct.
Was that correct?
John, that's my understanding.
I mean, we went straight up.
Straight up. Okay, never mind. Straight up. 60 feet up. Towards the clouds. But not over the wall yet, correct? Correct. Was that correct, John? That's my understanding. I mean, we went straight up. Straight up.
Okay, never mind.
Straight up.
60 feet up.
Towards the clouds.
But not over the wall.
No.
And like a bunch of things are firing at us.
It's not just like one guy with a bow or something.
There's a couple with bow, a ballista, a cannon.
Yeah, there's a lot of fortifications that are firing.
What?
I'm just so confused as to like, what is the best version of this ending?
Yeah.
We should probably land so that they can't see us. I have an idea of how we might build the escape you want to share
it i can cast elite storm over the the wall that's attacking us and at 40 foot radius center on the
point i choose uh freezing rain and sleep fall the area is heavily obscures and uh it's difficult
terrain in that area how big is the wall oh it Oh, it's 100 feet tall. I mean, like, wide.
It would be 40 feet.
Oh, you can't tell from your perspective,
but you don't imagine it's bigger than that.
Or wider than that, I should say.
I have an idea as well.
Yeah, me too.
Kyborg, real idea guy.
Anyway, that's what I got to try and escape.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, I guess how far, like, we're all up in the air flying around and stuff, right?
Mm-hmm.
Am I at least within 60 feet of everybody, would you say?
Your party, mate?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Could I cast Mass Cure Wounds?
All right.
Yeah.
I'll take it.
Why not?
Just to heal some people up as we're soaring through the sky.
Sure.
I like that.
I'm going to do it at...
For the record, I'm not that badly hurt.
Target.
Gum-Gum.
This boy is, and I am.
If it matters.
Yeah, let me just do mass cure wounds.
Okay.
3d8 plus 4, which is 13 heal points for everybody.
Not much, but it's something.
I'll take it.
So I heal everyone 13.
So add 13, not to your attack, but to your action.
Real HP.
Real HP.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I did give you, I think, 13 points of damage earlier, so.
Now you're square.
Kyborg.
Oh, God, you're asking me.
The best I'm going to do is shoot at Nikotime
because I still have advantage on those attacks.
I don't know where else to go.
I mean, you can delay.
I'm going to delay.
What's the time of day?
It's noon-ish.
Okay, never mind.
Mud.
Yeah, so what if I did this, Gus?
Gustavo.
That's a roll-up. the third um if i use my
eggless of equipping which is my new item that allows me to pull an item from inventory while
in wild shape oh right yeah and i use that to pull out my dwarven stone of bread okay which
allows me to cast darkness and since darkness would be it, I looked it up. It would be centered on the object,
the dwarven sunbread.
It moves with us.
Really?
Okay.
Interesting.
Cool, cool, cool.
So if I cast darkness,
15 foot radius.
But 30 feet across.
30 feet across.
So I've made a dark cloud.
And if we went in a dark cloud
and then just like went again,
we can go 120 feet up in the air now.
Yes.
Because you could double move.
I feel like that would obscure us a bit from any further aggro.
Plus there's clouds.
Yes.
Okay.
Then we go and then I do that and command my owls to come with me.
You killed four of them.
Yes.
Which means I have seven more still.
More than that, isn't it?
Because you had 17 total.
I had 16 including myself.
Five are carrying our people.
You killed four, so I have seven.
You're talking to John, not Chris.
I'm actually going to follow the rules.
I follow the rules.
We're on the same team.
Yeah, so we go up. We do that.
So now we are 180 feet in the air
and straddled by darkness.
Yeah, and at this point, Duncan would chime in and say,
I think we can use this to our advantage and land at the docks below.
Yeah, I think that went really well.
Mud goes, holy crap, you're here?
Okay, and then we head that way.
Okay.
That's more like a...
Do we need to wait for, like, cover of night or anything?
Yeah, from the air, you air, once you were up,
you were able to see on the other side of the wall,
there were some docks.
There were two docks, actually.
Yeah.
So yeah, using the cover of darkness
in a darkened storm cloud,
you would be able to move past the wall
without drawing any further fire.
This is some nope action.
Oh, yeah.
And make your way over to those docks.
You sit down there and Duncan
says, well, that was something.
I guess we made it past the border into the land
of Totora. Wow. Mission success.
Yeah, everyone go and give yourself
an inspiration die and 5 temp
HP if you don't have temp HP.
Just earned the tip
for doing the most muddled
You made it across the wall.
One way or another, you got there.
You all look around at the docks and they appear surprisingly abandoned.
You don't see any dragonborn troops nearby, only vacant ships.
You look past the docks and see a paved road that appears to lead up to a gated community.
I'm wondering if they have a homeowners association here.
Paved road.
Let's walk towards the gated community.
Yeah.
Is it yellow brick?
It is not.
By the way, I've turned back into a...
If anyone needs to, by the way, before you proceed up the road,
y'all could stay here and take a short rest if you want,
because it's pretty abandoned.
I mean, that's up to the party.
Yeah.
I'd be fine for that.
Also, can I roll and give them both of those two magic slot?
Using what?
My bolstering magic.
Yes.
Oh, nice.
Does it matter which level spell slot?
It'll be one to three,
depending upon how I roll.
It says one creature?
Well, one for each of them.
So a level two spell slot.
And then for you,
you get a level three spell slot.
Okay.
So y'all rest very briefly.
And then you said you're making your way up the road to the gate.
Yes.
You walk up and...
Me and my seven pet owls.
It's made of ornately hewn stone with a sign overhead that's written in draconic.
Draconic?
Oh, what does it say?
I read it because I...
You speak draconic.
It says, welcome to Geo.
It says, welcome to Geio Welcome to Gio guys
J-I-O
Is there anybody at the gate?
No and in fact the gate is slightly ajar
You open the gate to a quiet cobblestone courtyard
With clay homes
And smash a boulder just misses your head
And crashes into the wall next to you
You didn't notice at first because of the quiet
But a bloody battle of green dragonborn and shadowy figures
Is silently raging all across this courtyard Enshrouded in patches of pitch black darkness.
A bruised and bleeding green dragonborn silently falls to the ground just a few feet from where you stand.
She barely lifts a blackened face to you all and says something, but no sound is uttered.
Her lips move again and you read them perfectly.
Help us.
Twist!
Interesting.
To find out what's happening,
you'll need to listen to the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
Where we're going to get the stinkiest we've ever been.
Oh no.
And I will name all seven of my owls.
Who are we helping?
You have to make a decision, aren't you?
I need somebody.
All right.
Thanks for listening, everybody.
Thank you.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. Thank you.