Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Of Life & Breath - Ep. 74 - Win, Lose, or Shaddrow

Episode Date: December 7, 2022

Our adventurers skirmish with several Shaddrow in a darkened city in search of a Draconic Elder. Thanks to Raquel Lily (@RaquelLily on twitter) and ??? for lending their voice to this episode! Check o...ut our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://joinhoney.com/dragon to get PayPal Honey for free. Go to http://auraframes.com/tales to get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames.  Go to http://dietsmoke.com and use code DRAGON for 20% off your order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Rooster Teeth Production. Salutations all you sacred statues. Falsely appear in the stinky dragon and guzzle our latest gulp, Rock Paper Prisoners. It's a mixture of clerical cucumber, shredded cilantro, protector tequila, shaken with Eidolon-infused rocks. One sip of this sacrilegious sauce is enough to... wait, what? You don't need air, sleep, food, or drink? Oh well. Previously, our adventurers were sailing on the Jebediah at the Tatoran border, but their non-draconic identities were uncovered, recovered, and uncovered again by a slew of sword swinging silver dragonborn.
Starting point is 00:00:52 Eventually they took flight with Mud's menagerie of owls across the blazing border into the province of Geo. But yet another bloody battle lies before them. Can they survive this onslaught of Shadrowrow or will they be snuffed out in a puff of smoke draw yourself a dram if you do drink liquid let's move into this malodorous memoir why did you pause what happened there we don't need food or drink or what well only if you drink the protector tequila oh you drink what do you got you got coffee there though i do yeah that's like a tequila this morning that we know of that's like a a plus one to perception checks
Starting point is 00:01:35 really for barbara not for bart and a plus two to anxiety and poops plus two are we in battle i thought that when g Gus paused and said like, wait, what's that? I thought he was going to surprise attack us. Yeah, the bartender. That was strange. There's a weird fourth wall thing that I was like, what's going on? Yeah, no one knows. This entire time, Gus has been allowed to just have a random
Starting point is 00:01:57 attack encounter with us as the bartender anytime he wants. That's going to be the final boss battle of this whole campaign. Roll for sobriety. That's very Super Smash Brothers of boss battle of this whole campaign. Roll for sobriety. That's very Super Smash Brothers of them then. You've been in a bar that's been a dream the whole time. You've just been super, super wasted from drinking at this bar
Starting point is 00:02:14 every single day. Oh, so the show Dallas. Yep. Yeah, I got this. I got it. Well, you didn't acknowledge it. I'm from Dallas. What was that? I want that isolated as my text alert All people you didn't acknowledge it You open the gate to a quiet cobblestone courtyard with clay homes and smash a boulder just misses your head and crashes into the wall next to you. You didn't notice at first because of the quiet, but a bloody battle of green dragonborn
Starting point is 00:02:48 and shadowy figures is silently raging all across this courtyard, enshrouded in patches of pitch black darkness. A bruised and bleeding green dragonborn silently falls to the ground just a few feet from where you stand. She barely lifts a blackened face to you all and says something but no sound is uttered. Her
Starting point is 00:03:03 lips move again and you read them perfectly. Help us. I read them perfectly. Gum Gum runs to her. What do you need help with? Wait. So she's in the Shroud of Darkness.
Starting point is 00:03:21 She does not. Was it silent because she's in the Shroud of Darkness? That's what I was asking. Was she silent because she was in the Shroud of Darkness. She does not. Well, no. Was it silent because she's in the Shroud of Darkness? That's what I was asking. Was she silent because she was in the Shroud of Darkness? That's hard to say. Was she silent because she was in the Shroud of Darkness? She sells seashells by the seashore. In the Shroud of Darkness, silently.
Starting point is 00:03:36 She's like on the edge of it. Like falls out of it. And that's why you're able to see her. If she was in the darkness, you wouldn't be able to see her. All I wanted was the exact image. Is Gum-Gum standing right outside of this thing, yelling at a woman that can't respond because she's in a car? No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:03:51 She's falling out. Yeah. Yeah, Gum-Gum runs up to this dragonborn. What do you need help with? Make a perception check. There is no heartbeat. No, this is just determining whether or not Gum Gum Sees there is battle You think she might be
Starting point is 00:04:07 Moving she might need some boxes Alright Bart runs up What's going on are you okay What's going on Don't touch your Gum Gum Make a perception check Bart It's just Bart going full parent
Starting point is 00:04:24 Going hands Drop her into your glass 18. It's just Bart going full parent going, hands. Hands off. No touching. I drop her into the glass. Put your hands in your pockets. That's what a parent would say. She's bloodied. Looks like she's been in combat and is very weak from multiple wounds.
Starting point is 00:04:37 She looks at you, Bart, and says, Namido. Hey, Khyberg, what does Namido mean? Ah, yes, Namido. In Dr Kyberg, what does Namido mean? Ah, yes, Nomido. In Draconic, that means... Where's the wisdom saving throw? Shouldn't you know? What is it? Make an intelligence check.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Okay. Guys, hold on tight. I have a question after this. This is going to be the roll for smart stuff. You don't think that's Draconic? Based on my two semesters I know what it is. This is going to be the roll for smart stuff. I rolled a 10. You don't think that's draconic? I don't.
Starting point is 00:05:12 Based on my two semesters in community college taking draconic, I don't think that that's draconic. Based on your gap year you spent in a draconic speaking country. Yeah, when I was traveling abroad in the flats of Tabool, where is this place? They had a different dialect there. It's weird. Yeah. They say their S's like, like.
Starting point is 00:05:30 It's like a suck in. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. I have a question really quick. So visually, we are on the docks and we are looking into. You are not on the docks. You had moved. Remember, you had gone up a paved path and there was a gate that was open and you had
Starting point is 00:05:44 opened that gate and that brought you into this courtyard. Oh yeah. And that's where all of this is happening. Let me ask a really bad question. It'd be nice. Why did we come to this place? To Bart's parents. Okay, good. It's not just yet. I think Chris might remember.
Starting point is 00:06:00 Bart's parents were in the realm of shadows or something. They're being held hostage. They're being held hostage, quote, unquote. And that's supposed to be here. And this is, we're at where the Tabulians got kicked out of because they didn't have arms and legs. Right. Yeah, correct. You went to Tatora because, remember,
Starting point is 00:06:15 when you returned to Boulder Ray, there were some Shadrow who had the darkness spells that kind of taunted you a little bit, Bart. And then at the same time, Hugh Manor had escaped. Hugh Manor Beta had escaped and uh Dr. Ahem had come up with a plan for uh some for you all to come here to deal with this and for others to deal with Hugh Manor Beta that's a darkness spell that's happening well we've encountered this before yes this is very similar to what you encountered before okay can
Starting point is 00:06:40 I dispel it you can try do it do it okay why not we dispel the? You can try. Do it. Do it. Okay, why not? Dispel the darkness and all of a sudden it reveals a thousand armies. Yeah, I mean, if I don't know what I'm running into. He puts the darkness back. It's like closing the blinds. I'm going to cover my base as best I can. Just FYI, so you know, it's not just one area of darkness. You came into a courtyard and there appear to be four different patches of darkness around the courtyard.
Starting point is 00:07:08 Okay, well then... Appropriately setting the scene. Let's just test it on the one in front of us. Okay. Okay. I must cast this at six level, which at higher levels than fourth, you automatically end the effects
Starting point is 00:07:21 of a spell on the target of the spell's level is equal to or less than the level of the spell slot you use. So this is, I guess, what does that mean? So then there needs to be a check, and it says the DC is equal to 10 plus the spell's level. Oh, okay. So it becomes automatic. So then you said you were using what level's spell?
Starting point is 00:07:41 Six. Six. So then... He aims it at whatever, what's the shadow the darkness yeah just in case he's gonna attack the darkness so then if it's level six or less then it's automatic yes okay so uh you cast dispel magic on this area of darkness that's right in front of you correct like huffs and puffs really hard. At the, like, the darkness, trying to blow the darkness away.
Starting point is 00:08:08 Okay, like trying to dissipate it with a... To make it look cool, like I did it with my breath. Gotcha. Okay. Dragonborn raises bow. Yeah, you cast your dispel magic, and the darkness that this dragonborn had fallen out of dissipates. And you can see everything that's in front of you
Starting point is 00:08:23 under a big tree, and there is a shad standing there with blade drawn He's so proud of himself he's like I told you That hits 13 points of damage this is is going to be the one Shadrow that... Oh, friends, you've arrived! That was like Force Awakens level, like crossing teams kind of thing. It's the fin of the...
Starting point is 00:08:55 Yeah, it's the fin of the Shadrow. As the arrow appears to hit them, the Shadrow seems to spin around from the impact. But you realize that the Shadrow's actually grabbed your arrow out of the air and flings it directly back at you. What is this? Doing 24 points of damage. Oh, my God! What?
Starting point is 00:09:14 I mean, you're beefy, but, like, still, Jesus. Why'd you shoot yourself, K-Fort? Stop shooting yourself. Stop shooting yourself. Stop shooting yourself. Hold on. Is there any roll I can do to... No.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Wait. You do. Hmm? No. You do! Because wait, did they roll anything for this to happen? Uh, I did make a roll. He's gonna make their modifier so high. Just let it happen. I'm not changing a modifier, it's what's written down. I catch it and I throw it back and we play pass.
Starting point is 00:09:40 And I say, whoa, I missed my dad! Oh, oh, oh. I say, whoa, I miss my dad. Oh. Me too. I say, oh, touche. Bart, make a perception check. Oh, God. Don't touch me. That is a 19. You notice that the green dragonborn you all initially ran up to has passed away.
Starting point is 00:09:58 No. Oh, that's really sad. I was about to give her a healing potion. I hope we didn't cast that person as a roll. Everyone, healing potion. I hope we didn't cast that person as a roll. Everyone, roll initiative. I think she's gone. I don't think there's a healing potion that'll bring someone back from the dead. Crystal, do that thing where you focus on trying to do one thing while the rest of the team's like,
Starting point is 00:10:15 Go, go, go! Everything! I rolled a 23. But I also don't want to go first. Don't worry, because I rolled a 15. Nine, ten. How far are we being apart from this dragonborn that has magic arrows that was a shadrow not a dragonborn just fyi the shadrow
Starting point is 00:10:32 was probably 20 feet away and a shadrow looks like what exactly think of it as a dark elf in my mind space we're in like feudal japan and the dragon for like samurais and the shadra are like ninjas that's helping me so we still don't know the word that they said right uh correct namido oh yeah blaine already forgot is there a way we know what language it is at least or we just don't know i'm gonna say no uh as like whenever it's someone's turn as a free action, they can try to make, I'll let them make like a roll to try to figure it out. Okay. But no. But however, Bart,
Starting point is 00:11:09 you're at the top of the initiative rolls, the 23. Yeah. So what do you want to do? Let me use that free action and see what language that is. I also want to know, is it just this one Shadrow we're fighting? That's all you see currently.
Starting point is 00:11:23 However, logic would dictate you dispelled a darkness and there was a Shadrow we're fighting? That's all you see currently. However, logic would dictate you dispelled a darkness and there was a Shadrow here and there were three more pods of darkness in the courtyard as well. So there's probably three more. I don't know. Also, not to get too meta, but it was edited out in the podcast, I'm sure, but Gus just spent
Starting point is 00:11:39 five minutes setting up initiative and that usually doesn't take that long if it's only us and one combatant. Oh my god. I just realized you're right. I should have done that ahead of time. We just got in the boat. This is that guy threw, he took my arrow and threw it back at me. Quadrant
Starting point is 00:11:56 couldn't even do that. I hit four arms. I miss Quadrant. I'm gonna say it. Should we have Blaze in here just to voice? Now you're gonna be chasing windmills for the rest of your life. I'm going to say it. Should we have Blazin' here just to voice for you? Now you're going to be chasing windmills for the rest of your life. You got nothing to aspire to. I'm sorry, Bart.
Starting point is 00:12:12 Intelligence check. Oh, yeah. Actually, let's call this a wisdom check. Wisdom check? Yeah. Okay, that's good. A wisdom check. Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:20 Ooh, nice. 28-2. You know, obviously you don't know, but you don't think that that sounded like draconic. Well, actually, you know, it's not draconic because Kyborg said that. Dr. Kyborg. Dr. Kyborg Esquire. You think it might be a reference to a name, either a person or a place. OK.
Starting point is 00:12:37 And so it's not necessarily a language, but it could be the name of the name of something. Yeah, I think it's a French pastry. Quickly. Pastry. Nami. Nami something. Yeah. I think it's a French pastry. Let me quickly check. Pastry. Nami. Nami Del. Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:12:50 So we got that one guy that we could see and you said three other pods of darkness, right? Correct. Oh my gosh. Okay. I'm really,
Starting point is 00:12:58 these guys seem real dangerous. I'm going to cast Cloud of Daggers over this guy. Okay. At the fifth level. At the fifth level. How many daggers does that give you? It gives me 10d4.
Starting point is 00:13:11 So go ahead and roll that, and that is a concentration spell, just FYI. So you will have to keep that up. 30 points of damage. Ouch! I don't like that. I do. Go, Bart. Where there once was darkness, instead it has been replaced by daggers. Yay!
Starting point is 00:13:28 But so many daggers that it almost looks like another thing of darkness. Yeah, you can't see, but there is sunlight glinting off of the blades. It's actually horrifying. That might be one of the scariest spells that's in D&D. I mean, there's other scarier ones, but like knives? I'm imagining it just comes in like... Yeah. It's like everywhere, just filling it.
Starting point is 00:13:48 It's like a five-foot solid cube of spinning knives. Yeah, exactly. Is there anything else you want to do, Bart? I would like to move away. Okay. Classic Bart. Yeah. How close am I to this guy?
Starting point is 00:14:03 You're within about 20 feet or so. Okay. I would like to move maybe 20 feet away backwards. 20 feet back. So back kind of towards the entrance, like more towards the gate and the path that you all walked up. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:16 You're just like outside of the gate at that point. And I could still, I guess like I'm still in the vicinity. Yeah. Okay. You still have like line of sight. Cool. If that's what you're asking. Yes. Uh, okay. Uh, is that it for you, Bart? Yes. Yeah. I. You still have like line of sight. If that's what you're asking. Yes.
Starting point is 00:14:25 Okay. Is that it for you, Bart? Yes. Yeah. I know. It's like daggers. See your little cape just going. All right, your turn.
Starting point is 00:14:37 For some reason, I also imagine Bart wearing clogs. So everywhere you go, it's just like. We're talking the other day on the podcast about whether or not uh people in star wars trying to remember if they have shoes on or not jedi specifically like jedi what shoes they wear and we were like are they they're not barefoot are they in my head now they are yeah that's like that's my personal star wars canon. Now they have clogs. That's the new thought process. Okay. It is that Shadrow's turn.
Starting point is 00:15:12 So it's going to step out of the cloud of daggers. I guess up closer to where Gum-Gum is. Because Gum-Gum is the only one who's left that's really close. You're mean. What? I said he's mean. Oh, I thought you said you're mean. I thought you said that too. I was like, what are you saying?
Starting point is 00:15:22 No, I was saying as he approaches. He's clearly in his character voice. They will take a slash at you with their blade. It's not raging yet. Oh, yeah. Gum Gum's not raging. It's an unusual circumstance. It's very rare.
Starting point is 00:15:37 Gum Gum normally is really good on the initiative roll. Yeah, because I have advantage on it. Oh, a one. Why does it look like a one just popped up on the screen? I rolled a one. That's crazy. I hate today my screen? I rolled a one. I hate today. It's not even a Monday.
Starting point is 00:15:49 All right. It rolls a one. Tries to slash at you, but their blade slips out of their hand. Can I catch it? Why did you give me this? No, you cannot catch it. It's Kyborg. And then the Shadrow looks at you with rage in its eyes. Gum Gum, I want you to make a save.
Starting point is 00:16:10 Wisdom saving throw. You can do it, Gum Gum. That's gonna go really well. Use that big brain. I'm wondering if I should use my inspiration die. It depends on the cards. Is that gonna help? Yeah, I could re-roll.
Starting point is 00:16:24 I rolled a one. You're a negative one also. Is it worth the inspiration? I, I can re-roll. I rolled a one. You're a negative one also. I just don't want to be stunned. I'm gonna do it. You'll probably make Gus laugh any moment now. A 17! Damn, okay.
Starting point is 00:16:39 Gus is putting his arms in his face. I hate today. I'm taking my computer home. I'm taking my dice home. We're going home. Are you just trying to kill us today? He looks me in the eye and then I get like cross-eyed. You can't look at me. I don't give you permission. Alright. For some reason, you're remembering
Starting point is 00:16:58 crossing over the cavern in Boulderay and how scared you were. But you shake it off. It's just a fleeting memory. Is he trying scare us frighten us deep down probably cast fear uh kyborg um shoot them with more arrows no i say hey you throwing that arrow at me that was pretty cool let's shake and then i reach out my hand and then i shoot it with my hand cannon so do you get closer to try to initiate the handshake? Because you were still a little bit away.
Starting point is 00:17:26 You know in, what's that, Jim Carrey movie where it's like across the room and he has his hand out? He starts walking. I want to say I still have a good like 10, 15 feet or however far we were away from it. Okay. It was an awkward hit. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:40 It's the beginning of ones and then I give up the gag and I just shoot it. Okay. 19 plus 5, 24. Okay, that is a successful hit. I hate you all so much. So then roll 4d6 bludgeoning damage. You've made us too powerful, Gus.
Starting point is 00:17:56 That's why I'm now catching arrows and throwing them back at you. Okay, that's a 13. 13 points of bludgeoning damage. Yeah, and then I do fire damage. 17. The hand cannon goes off and you fire a projectile after your awkward handshake at the Shadrow. Mm-hmm. Uh, impacts it in the chest, uh, knocks it to the ground where he begins smoldering, unmoving. Yeah, that's what happens when you throw arrows at me. I-I'm the arrow slinger.
Starting point is 00:18:21 Namido! What? I was gonna like, call out all the otheringer. Namido! What? I was gonna like call out all the other people, Namido! Yeah, so we obviously are out of initiative now. No, no, no. What do you guys want people to say when they die now? Good question. What else do you want to do, Kyborg?
Starting point is 00:18:36 I have two more attacks, so I draw the Longbow of Triumph and I look around. What else is there around here? So you're in the courtyard and there are three buildings on either side of you, to your left and to your right. And then further up to the north, there's a larger building. Seems to be much larger than these residences. And make a perception check.
Starting point is 00:18:59 A 25, not 20. You hear spine chilling screams coming from that house to the north. Okay. Anything else? I mean, that was a not 20. You hear spine-chilling screams coming from that house to the north. Okay. Anything else? I mean, that was a natural 20. I'm just saying. Is there anything else I can perceive? A spine-chilling scream coming from the house to the north.
Starting point is 00:19:16 But no other? No. Actually, no. Nothing at all. But there's no other enemies or anything like that? Not that you see? Not that I see. Okay.
Starting point is 00:19:25 Communicate to the team hey guys. I just heard a spine-chilling scream from my house. What did that sound like? My spine is so... Ugh, I'm so cold from my spine. Do you guys want to move up there? Sure. All right. I want to make my way towards that house. Okay. So the courtyard itself is pretty wide.
Starting point is 00:19:52 Okay. Trying to set the scene here, Tim. It's probably about 100 feet wide or so. Uh-huh. Then between you and that house to the north are two rather large trees and three different half spheres of darkness as well. And the spheres of darkness are roughly 20 feet wide. So you can get around them. And then the distance from where you are to that house to the north
Starting point is 00:20:16 is probably roughly 250, 300 feet or so. That's a pretty good distance. So it's a very far away house. Yeah, it's like a big courtyard. Yeah, okay. Remember I said to the left and the right are three houses also. So it's like kind of like a cul-de-sac. So not everything is covered in the darkness.
Starting point is 00:20:30 No, no, not at all. Should I explode those dark bubbles? Can you? They're magic. Wouldn't they just explode back at you? What do you mean? I can explode a dark bubble. I just I'll shoot a bursting arrow.
Starting point is 00:20:42 I explode the bubble. That doesn't explode. I don't know if Kyborg knows how magic works. I shoot arrow, it explodes and they go boom. Well, if you hurt the person in the darkness, would that make the spell go away? If it's their concentration maybe? His intelligence is 10.
Starting point is 00:20:55 I just want to throw that out there. So exploding the bubble. I want to have a talk with you about how magic works and how explosives work. Explosives are part of science. When two people love each other. Explosive love. So there's a difference. You're not going to make the darkness
Starting point is 00:21:12 go away by explosion. I shoot a bursting arrow into one of the dark bubbles. And your magic comes from your father who's watching over you. That's not how magic works either. Here it comes. I will not have magic explained to me by YouTube. 19. I assume it's the next closest one, right? I'll shoot the one on the
Starting point is 00:21:28 left. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the closest one. The next closest one is actually to the right, if that matters. It's like up and to the right. Okay. Alright. It hurts. Alright. You're firing a bursting arrow into the darkness? Yes. So the way a bursting arrow reads is it's immediately after the arrow hits
Starting point is 00:21:43 a creature, the target and all other creatures within 10 feet take force damage. So you're firing into the darkness, hoping to hit someone and then cause the bursting arrow. Yeah. Okay. He's just taking blind shots into the darkness. And you rolled twice. Is that for two attacks? Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:22:02 One was to see if it hit. The other one was for damage. Oh, I see. I see if it hit. The other one was for damage. Oh, I see. I see. I see. The confidence. So what I'm going to say is since you're firing into the darkness and you don't actually see the enemy, you would attack with disadvantage.
Starting point is 00:22:14 What if I had lucky right now? Oh, man. Okay. So just make one more attack. You already rolled one attack roll for 19. So just make one more attack roll. And that was a 16. Okay.
Starting point is 00:22:24 And then we already rolled damage of 13. Spoiler, you do hit. Yes! Roll me a d4. That was generous. A d4. That you even got disadvantage. I was thinking it was just this.
Starting point is 00:22:36 I rolled a 4. Okay, yeah, you do hit something, and you cause a bursting arrow. Yes, so that would be 10. You fire your arrow in and it bursts. You don't hear anything, but you're based on your expertise with the bow. You feel fairly confident. You successfully hit someone in the darkness.
Starting point is 00:22:56 All right. I'm kind of upset because I like the boom, you know? Everyone wants the boom and we didn't get our boom. I feel like Marvin the Martian. You know what? There was no earth shattering kaboom! I kind of like tap my bow and I'm like, is this thing broken? And then I take
Starting point is 00:23:14 another shot with a longbow crystal and we're doing the exact same thing. Okay, so yeah, roll two attack rolls. Okay, that's a 28 and another one, a disadvantage. 29. God. Roll your damage. and another one at disadvantage. 29. God. All right. Roll your damage.
Starting point is 00:23:28 Nine. And then I also want to make that another exploding arrow. Okay. I hope there are only good guys in there. And roll me a D4 as well. Watch her at home just rolls out dead. Oh, no. Roll me a D4 as well.
Starting point is 00:23:41 You got it. Three. It's the orphans from the local orphanage all in a dark bubble. We cast this protective duct. Okay, yeah. Once again, you feel... It's actually Bart's parents in there. No.
Starting point is 00:23:54 You feel like you hit someone, but there was no earth shattering kaboom. Guys, my arrow's acting up. My alongo is acting up. This is really just Kyber does not understand magic. At least they're not coming back out to hit you. That's a plus. I'm not going to action surge. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:12 Yeah, I'd wait. How far away am I from the tree? Roughly 20 feet or so. Okay. If I had to pass by the Shadrow, I don't want to do that. I'm going to just kind of like hang back just a little bit. Like move backwards a little bit. Maybe put some of like a gum gum in a mud between me and the ticket go back to like where Bart was
Starting point is 00:24:29 Yeah, I'm here. I'm here to protect you Bart Okay, is that it for you cardboard? Yes an honorable retreat those are my three taxis three books no it for you, Kyborg? Yes, an honorable retreat. Those are my three attacks. That's a three books note. Unless I action change. I don't need no man to protect me. I have a gum gum. I have myself.
Starting point is 00:24:54 I could action change and we could just keep plugging this thing with arrows and then hopefully something pops out. Yeah. What could go wrong with that, Barbara? Mud's turn. Something happens and it's Mud's turn. I happens and it's Mud's turn. I still have my owls. Oh, yeah, you do have owls.
Starting point is 00:25:07 I have 11 of them. They last you for like an hour, right? They last for an hour. I checked. Dispel magic is not a concentration spell. They are a concentration spell. And I still have 11 owls. Who?
Starting point is 00:25:17 Not today. Not today. No! Well, I'm doing two for two. Yeah. I got it right. 11 owls. 11 owls. 11 owls.
Starting point is 00:25:27 Okay. How quickly can you get us to that house? We're just doing the video game version of just run to the button at the end of the level and move forward. I want to cast Dispel Magic on the darkness that Kyborg was shooting. Okay. I'm going to do it. I attack the darkness that Kyborg was shooting. Okay. I'm going to do it.
Starting point is 00:25:46 I attacked the darkness. He's been attacking the darkness this entire episode, and that sound has been playing in my head on repeat. I don't know. If you don't know what that meme is... The summoner geeks? The summoner geeks. So that's old internet. Old internet.
Starting point is 00:26:00 Fourth level. A fourth level dispel magic. Which still tracks if it's fourth level or lower, it's automatically dispelled. I want a drum roll reveal. What's behind shadow number one? The darkness dissipates, and you see a Shadrow and a green dragon board
Starting point is 00:26:15 locked in combat with each other. Do they both look like they've been shot? They both have an arrow sticking out of their eyes. Amazing. Hey there, Stinky listeners. If you want even more odorific content like this show, you should give us a follow at StinkyDragonPod on Twitter, Instagram,
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Starting point is 00:26:51 go check out our first two soundtracks on your favorite music streaming platform composed by Micah Reisinger. Plus, if you post on social media using hashtag StinkyDragonPod, we might name an NPC in the show after you. Today's episode is sponsored by PayPal Honey, the easy way to save when shopping
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Starting point is 00:30:40 That's what the D4 you were rolling for? To determine which one I hit. To determine which one you hit. Wait, it was four? Evens was the which one you hit. Wait, was 4? Evens was the Shadrach. Odds was the Dragonborn. Do 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 instead. Because then I could have hit just one of them.
Starting point is 00:30:51 Good, I can't remember. It's harder for me to remember that way. One Shadrach? Yes. Okay, he's going to get attacked by 11 owls. What a nightmare. They have a movement speed of 60 feet flying, and they have flyby, which means they can go in, attack, and leave.
Starting point is 00:31:09 Right, without provoking an attack. Their eyes are always looking at me no matter where they're placed. Okay, so then you have to roll 11 attack rolls? Yeah, I'll do that. Flyby. They do a Talon's attack is what they do. There it is, plus three. So all of these
Starting point is 00:31:25 are plus three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven rolls rolling okay can you see all those and the winning lottery numbers are how many attacks six of them successfully hit all right uh 2d6 plus one do you want me to roll for each one or just roll for all of them? Roll for all of them. Let's call it 12d6 plus 6. Yes. 37 plus 6 is 43. 43. It's got to be horrific, honestly.
Starting point is 00:31:55 The darkness dissipates. The darkness dissipates and then 11. And then a new kind of darkness comes around them. Owls show up and just like slash at the Shadrow till it falls over dead. Ripping it to shreds. They eat it. They eat it. That dragonborn who was standing there who's no longer in combat
Starting point is 00:32:16 turns around and looks at you all and says, Alright, who shot the arrow? I hide the longbow crest behind my back. Mud points to the dead Shadrow. Yes, you're the dead Shadra and like and like kicks a bow on the ground towards him a little bit we're dirty cops
Starting point is 00:32:34 I will I don't know not a deception checks I have a charisma check not a very charismatic. I have a negative one. It's a charisma check. Not a very charismatic one. I'm a negative two, so. Thirteen.
Starting point is 00:32:50 That's not bad. Yeah, the dragon part spits. Filthy Shadrow. Yeah. Great. I also spit. Shadrow part spits, but it doesn't go out. It just like hangs on his mouth a little bit.
Starting point is 00:33:03 Khyborg wipes it off with his little cloak. Is there anything else you want to do, Mud? There's still two more bubbles of darkness. Correct. And they are further away. Correct. How far is the closest one? The next closest one to you is pretty far.
Starting point is 00:33:17 I got a cap. It's just Gus putting his face like an inch from his screen. We just need to get him one of those little magnifying glasses. I got to show you, like, the map is, since it's so big, the squares are so small. It's okay. Yeah, you're still young. The last two remaining shadow bubbles are much closer to the house to the north. Okay.
Starting point is 00:33:40 Like I said, that house to the north is probably 300, 350 feet away. The next closest bubble of darkness from where you are is probably 150 200 feet okay then i'll do my full moving distance to them which is 30 feet and my babies will follow okay mud that's it for you gum gum a rare last initiative for gum gum okay oh yeah i was like i thought you'd already gone but you've just been attacked yeah he was attacked by the... I will check and see if there's any... I'll check the dead
Starting point is 00:34:08 dragonborn in front of me and then see if there's anything... Verify she's dead and see if there's anything worthwhile, I guess. Check. Yeah, make a... We'll call...
Starting point is 00:34:17 First, let's call it a medicine check. This will go well. Ooh, 14. Nice. Oh, good. Yeah, she's dead. Just to point it out,
Starting point is 00:34:28 we could have saved this person, but honestly, what we did is we saved Ben from having to find somebody to voice the NPC of this person. We're really making our producer's life easier. You're doing good work here. And then you wanted to see if there was anything on this dragon board, like in
Starting point is 00:34:43 their equipment? anything just worthwhile Yeah It's where the dragon boards wearing leather armor It looks like it's pretty messed up like it's been through some heavy combat. There is a like a money pouch as well money I'll take the pouch It's got ten silver pieces. This is where Chris takes over Gum-Gum's actual actions. He first checks to make sure they're alive.
Starting point is 00:35:10 And here's where Chris rationalizes Gum-Gum taking actions that are not in character in the course. Ten silver pieces. I'll rage. I want a goal! I'm just imagining him, like, bursting like Super Saiyan. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:30 Only ten. One. Each creature of your choice, you can see you in 30 feet. Wait, one? Seven. Oh, that was seven? You rolled a seven. Flowers and vines temporarily grow around you until you reach ends.
Starting point is 00:35:40 The ground within 15 feet of you is difficult terrain for your enemies. Okay. Flowers. Yeah. I guess that oddly in the middle of the courtyard towards the southern end, difficult terrain sprouts up,
Starting point is 00:35:50 but there are no enemies around. I'll just run towards... Me! Towards where, yeah, I guess where mud is. I'll just run. Please run towards me! I'll run as far as I can, which I guess is like 60 feet.
Starting point is 00:36:01 Hey, Gum-Gum, you should join me up here towards the battle. You can run 80. Remember, your base movement is 40 60 feet. Hey, GumGum, you should join me up here towards the battle. You can run 80. Remember, your base movement is 40 as a barbarian. So if you double move, you can move 80. So you could run past Mud because you were already in front of him a little bit to begin with. So you would be ahead of him by like 30 feet.
Starting point is 00:36:17 You'd be getting pretty close to the next closest remaining bubble of darkness. Okay, I'll get there and look and see if there's anything I can kind of like use as protection, you know, like cover. There's another tree just like to the east of the next bubble of darkness. You can maybe use that. Now it sounds more
Starting point is 00:36:38 like a metal band. Bubble of darkness! I guess I'll get to the tree. Okay. You'd be able to reach that. So. It's gonna be parts metal band. You'd be able to reach that. So that would put you just a little away from that bubble of darkness. Now we're gonna sing our hit song, Cloud of Daggers!
Starting point is 00:36:55 Can I ask, as I run past that dragon boar that isn't dead, are there any more bad guys? With both arms, it points to the bubbles of darkness. The remaining two bubbles. I'm just gonna keep it over and over again. Thank you, Flugerville! If we keep this joke going long enough, Micah will have to record a song of this and we'll have to hear what Screamo Micah sounds like.
Starting point is 00:37:16 Oh, yeah, a metal song, Bubble of Darkness. It's just Micah in his apartment just screaming into his mic. Speaking of music, we should also give a shout-out to the Next ARC soundtrack that has been released on Spotify and all music platforms, I believe. Erbloom. Was that ARC called? Deja Erbloom. Deja Erbloom.
Starting point is 00:37:33 So we have the first two ARC soundtracks. Make it go platinum. It's really good. We can make a VH1 behind the music about Micah and his cats. It's just Micah and his cats. Behind the music. It's got a lot of really good jams on it. Yeah, it does.
Starting point is 00:37:48 Jams as in, like, you turn it on to, like, do chores, and you're like, I'm living in a fancy world. Yeah, it's very nice. I think it's cool, though. I go, and a bunch of flowers burst around me, and then I sprint all that far and run to a tree, and then now there's flowers. I just like the idea of flowers, like, following.
Starting point is 00:38:05 It's so intimidating. Do they just keep sprouting wherever he tree and then now there's flowers. I just like the idea of flowers following. It's so intimidating. Do they just keep sprouting wherever he steps? No, he's right. Yeah. So I guess, yeah, you are correct. It does follow you and keeps growing. And now there's flowers all around this tree that I'm hiding behind. Yeah, and in a straight line going from where you started to where you ran.
Starting point is 00:38:22 And that's all I got. Does your rage end if you didn't attack or take damage? Shoot an arrow at you as you want. Stop it. That's a good question. I think it does. I'll then headbutt the tree. Sure.
Starting point is 00:38:34 Roll a d20. As long as you don't roll a one, you're able to headbutt the tree. I want a one so badly right now. Oh, do I? That's the only reason I said it. That's a nine. Okay, yeah. You're able to head butt the tree uh
Starting point is 00:38:46 doing 85 points of damage roll uh a d4 the tree is made of adamantium okay you take two points of damage from head butting and a small trickle of blood rolls down your forehead uh is that a two with my rage oh one, one. You take half. That's right, one point of damage. This tree is nice. Soft wood. It's a cherry blossom. It's in bloom. I have a suggestion for the team. Yes?
Starting point is 00:39:14 Perhaps before we start shooting random arrows into the next darkness, we belay our turns and let the druid dispel the darkness. That's a good call. Then you all can take your turns and do whatever you want. I'd be okay with that. I don't know. The owls wouldn't have been as successful if the target hadn't been softened a bit. I'm just throwing that out there.
Starting point is 00:39:34 Well, then let me soften up the targets and then you can do a murder. Do a murder. The green dragonborn who had an arrow sticking out of them exits that area from where they were and begins moving in a straight line north. But not, so not joining us. Looks like it's making a straight line towards one or the other. Not the shadow bubble that you all ran to, but the other one. Does dialogue need to abide by combat order or by initiative order? Nah, y'all talk whenever.
Starting point is 00:40:01 Where are you going? I was going to suggest. It just points at the next bubble of darkness. Cool. Like as if it's going to go fight it. Unknown? Maybe. Yeah, maybe.
Starting point is 00:40:12 Should we be prioritizing the host at the end of the trail that had the scream instead of taking out these two other darkness bubbles? We could gain them as friends. That's a good point. We always do like pass without a trace kind of situation. I'm not worried about passing the bubbles and
Starting point is 00:40:29 getting detected. I'm just considering instead of us stopping having combat with this bubble, then go to the next bubble, having combat with that bubble, and then go to the last one, if there might be more timely things. If that guy is already heading off and he's not going to help his other darkness places. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:45 He seems a sign of prioritization. Well, with all of that being said, Bart, it is your turn. Yeah. Let me test something. Could minor illusions move? No, it does not appear to be. It cannot move based on what it says. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:00 Could I dimension door? Yeah. 500 feet. Yeah, you'd be able to go anywhere in this courtyard. Like on the other side of them, like closer to the building? The big house at the end on the north? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:10 There's a, you could get right up to the door of it if you wanted to. Let me try that. Okay. I think dimension door is a really cool spell. It's very cool. Bart like steps into a, I always visualize it as like a blue portal door that just like pops up and you just like step right through it and then it comes out on the other end you step right through it just for since this is a 500 foot range but i assume it's not 500 feet total that i'm going
Starting point is 00:41:34 um what is like the distance that i am traveling with this about 300 feet oh wow okay yeah and then you exit your dimension door right at the entrance to this other building. Make me a perception check. Nat 20. He's 27. Ooh. You notice a trail of blood outside the house leading into it. A trail of blood leading into the house. Is the door open? No.
Starting point is 00:41:55 So I guess I could just tell it's leading into the house? Yeah, based on the intensity and the direction of the splatter. Does it seem like someone maybe got hurt and then got dragged in? Potentially. A murder post foul. And could I just check the door to see if it's unlocked? I don't actually open it, but just like... It looks like it's got some jiggle to it.
Starting point is 00:42:15 My money don't jiggle. I was thinking the same thing. My door handle do jiggle jiggle. Okay, well I'm definitely not going in here alone, but I don't know how to get y'all close. I could get us to you pretty quickly. Okay. That'll be it.
Starting point is 00:42:29 I'll just stay there. Kyborg. I'm going to hold off on my action until Mud dispels that magic. Okay. And you are still at the very south by where Bart originally was, correct? Yep. Okay. Kyborg is holding.
Starting point is 00:42:43 Do you have the time? Do you? Kyborg, do you Do you have the time? Do you Kyborg do you want to join Bart at the house or do you are you trying to go to the other darkness? I want to kill. So you're going to the darkness bubbles. Yeah I want to get the Shadrow. That would be my preference but
Starting point is 00:42:58 you know. Alright. I just I think it's worth. I'm torn by the fact that our Bart is about 150 feet away from us. Fair. I guess I'm worried about, we broke into this place. The Dragonborn were not for us initially. This is our chance to win them back by helping them in this big battle in the courtyard.
Starting point is 00:43:17 Is that the guy who shot one of them? Okay. It was a mistake. He was in shadows. So my logic is that if we help them beat these Shadrows, that's like at least two dudes that are like, oh, these guys are good people and they can vouch for us. All right.
Starting point is 00:43:31 I'm going to try to do something, and I'm going to see if you guys let me do this. So it's me and I have 11 great owls. Okay. Yeah. Now, each great owl has a fly distance of 60 feet. Okay. Each great owl also has the capacity to carry a large creature.
Starting point is 00:43:44 Okay. Now, if I had six of them. I feel like you're working on the capacity to carry a large creature. Okay. Now if I had six of them. I feel like you're working on a mathematical proof. This is 100% math. If this is true, then this is true, then this is true by the transmutative property. How far am I from Bart? How far are you from Bart? I am gone. But mud had moved up
Starting point is 00:44:00 a bit. Roughly 100 feet. Okay. Could I theoretically have six of the owls carry the other five owls and me 120 feet or all the way up to bart which then would have not used up any of my turn or You're the worst. I can see the look in Micah's eyes just staring at you. Have you ever seen an owl carry another owl? Well, today you do.
Starting point is 00:44:33 Who? I can't see any reason you couldn't do that. They hate us, they hate us so much. I'm really trying to shut you down and say no, but from a rules lawyer perspective, I believe you are correct. Air tight. Yeah. Owl tight.
Starting point is 00:44:52 I was wondering how you were going to get people closer to the bar. I got moves. Wow. The druid is a broken character in this game. Anyways, Kyborg wants to go check the houses. Wow....character in this game. Anyways, Kyborg wants to go check the houses. As I fly by, I cast Dispel Magic on the bubble that Kyborg is heading to.
Starting point is 00:45:10 Okay. What level are you doing your Dispel Magic at? Blaine has just let me know that he was doing this under the idea that there's only one bubble left. This is why I was arguing... There are two. What do you want to do now, Kyborg? Those bubbles. I still want to kill the Shadrach.
Starting point is 00:45:24 Okay. Dispel Magic, and I move forward. At what level? Fourth. Okay. One of the remaining bubbles drops, and you see a Shadrow and a green dragonborn locked in combat. And I say, bye. And that's the one closest to Gum-Gum,
Starting point is 00:45:37 but you continue forward to the north by the front of the big house that Bart is at and where the remaining bubble of shadow is. Oh, so the house that Bart is at and where the remaining bubble of shadow is. Oh, so the house that Bart is at is covered in darkness? No, it's not, but the remaining bubble is right outside the front door. Okay, I land next to Bart, and I'm going to hold off the owls, the five remaining, until Bart takes his next action.
Starting point is 00:46:01 Okay, that'll be in the next turn, though. Oh, okay, yeah, you're right. I also don't like... My next action is probably just me'll be in the next turn, though. Oh, okay. Yeah, you're right. I also don't like my next action is probably just me waiting for you guys to open the door. Uh, well, I don't know what the owls, can the owls can the owls do a little flyby around the house and look in windows and let me know what they
Starting point is 00:46:15 see? Oh. I can speak to that. Everyone inside brutally murdered. It's just death. That's all they say over and over again. Yeah, why not? Sure. What do they see? They see a Shadrow and an elderly Dragonborn. The elderly Dragonborn seems to be injured and looks like he's restrained with a Shadrow
Starting point is 00:46:40 over him. Is there any open windows? I mean, yeah, I guess if they were able to. No, I mean, open, I guess if they were able to. No, I mean open, open. As in cracked for a nice little breeze to come in during this warm day in Torterra. Tortilla.
Starting point is 00:46:53 Tortilla. Tortilla. Okay, so no entry. No. Okay, then the owls return to me. And they're all perched on me. All eleven. Five on each
Starting point is 00:47:09 arm and one on his head. So many. What do you think owls say? It's like the bat discussion all over again. Alright, is that it for you, Mud? Yeah. Okay, then Kyborg, do you want to go now, or?
Starting point is 00:47:26 Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Okay. Okay. Uh, alright, so I see that Shadrow, and I say, Forever Winter!
Starting point is 00:47:35 Uh, he becomes my sworn enemy, and I have advantage on attacks against him, which is great, because I just rolled a three, so that's 14, and, oh, not 20, 31. That's a good roll. That's a critical hit. So yeah, roll damage. Okay, so normally I would give you one damage die at full.
Starting point is 00:47:54 So we'll say instead of five plus one plus five, we'll say it's eight plus one plus five. Okay. So that's a total of 14. And then I also do 46 cold damage as well. 15. Okay, yeah, the arrow flies straight at the Shadrow. It turns at the last second, sees it coming,
Starting point is 00:48:11 and just slaps the arrow out of the air. All right, I got two more attacks, so I'm going to do it again. That's crazy. All right, that's it. At least it didn't slap it back at Kyborgs this time. Right, not this time. That's 20 and 12. I'm going to take the 20.
Starting point is 00:48:22 All right, yep, that hits. All right, there's damage. 13 plus 46'm going to take the 20. All right. Yep. That hits. All right. There's damage. 13 plus 46. Boop, boop, boop. Eight. 21. Yop.
Starting point is 00:48:32 Thank you. Okay. And then I do it. This one is not slapped. Okay. This one connects with the Shadrow. All right. I have an additional attack, so I'm going to take it again.
Starting point is 00:48:41 Roll this. 29. Hit. Plus six points of damage and 46 cold damage. 13, so that's 19. Okay. Yeah, this Shadrow's got a couple of arrow bolts sticking out of it. He does not appear very happy about that.
Starting point is 00:49:01 Okay, that's fine. Because... Action search! I'm going to just keep shooting them with my arrows in my longbow What I'm imagining is like your take you're like slowly walking forward like taking a step every arrow you fires like one step closer Step by step getting closer. I like that so I'm gonna do that as well 27 and 26 I take 27 It's like Legolas in the second movie. Just walking down the stairs during the...
Starting point is 00:49:27 Next, he's going to throw a shield down and skate down it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 8 and 16 cold damage. Yeah, that Shadrow falls down. Dead. Okay. And then... Man, you just, like, unloaded on it.
Starting point is 00:49:40 It even slapped away your critical hit, and you still dropped it. Yes. And then now I turn my gaze over to the other shadow bubble, and I have two more attacks because of action surge. That one's no longer my sworn enemy because it fell. Right. With a bonus action, I can redeclare a sworn enemy,
Starting point is 00:50:02 but because I can't see the other other shadrow that's in the shadow He makes the darkness his sworn enemies. I just hold off on it. Okay, unless I can say hey you shadrow You're my sworn enemy. No, you don't know necessarily could be something different in there. Okay? Well, we're gonna take that chance and I'm just gonna shoot arrows into it. Here we go Oh, that's the senior center 13. Does it hit You see it fly through the other side of the darkness. All right. I got one more. I shoot at disadvantage.
Starting point is 00:50:30 24 and 17. This arrow does not come out the other end of the darkness. All right. I'll roll damage and then a D4 to determine who I hit. You know what I like. 12 points of damage. A D4. Hit an even. Hit an even.
Starting point is 00:50:41 Four. Okay. There's just no additional bonus to that? Just 12 points of damage? No, because I can't declare any of them sworn even. Four. Okay. Is there no additional bonus to that? Just 12 points of damage? No, because I can't declare any of them sworn enemies. Gotcha. Okay. You feel like you hit something in the darkness.
Starting point is 00:50:52 Cool. And then... The next song. Hit something in the darkness. Is that it for you, Kyborg? That is it for me. Okay, so then we go. We resume our regular initiative.
Starting point is 00:51:01 So at this point, it is gum gum. The darkness that was closest to you that you were initially going for is where the Shadrow that Qyborg just killed was. So there is a Dragonborn standing there, no longer in combat, and you are still by that tree. The remaining bubble of darkness is not that much further to your north, probably only 30, 40 feet or so. You get there in one move.
Starting point is 00:51:24 How quickly can I get towards where Bart is? Oh, also, that's one move away. It's like either whether you go straight north to Bart or slightly northeast to get to the darkness. I'm just going to go for where Bart is. Yeah. So you reconvene with Bart and Mud. I regret to inform you,
Starting point is 00:51:37 I will not be dispelling magic anymore. Yeah. Is that my full turn? Nope, that's just one move. You still have another action, whether you want to move or open a door or whatever. Open the door! I don't know.
Starting point is 00:51:49 There's blood going in there, man. My house told me there's someone in trouble in there. I'm opening the door. Is Kyborg with us now? Nope. No, he's making his way up still. Okay, okay. He's on his murder journey.
Starting point is 00:52:03 Murder rampage. Can I open the door? Yeah. Quietly, I guess. Can I open the door? Yeah. Quietly, I guess. Make a sleight of hand check. I like that you yelled it when you said, I did it quietly. Can I open the door quietly?
Starting point is 00:52:12 13. Yeah, you open up the door, and inside you see an older dragonborn who's injured and restrained and a particularly fancy-looking Shadrow over him. Can I run to that fancy-looking Shadrow and... I don't think you have movement speed anymore. He can, but then he won't be able to...
Starting point is 00:52:33 Attack. Attack, correct. Okay. Can you throw something? Yeah, I'm going to throw... Mama from the tree. So how far away are they? From where you are, not that far.
Starting point is 00:52:44 We'll say 20 feet, kind of in the middle of this big building. My whole team's in a cut scene while I'm outside getting next to you. You chose this. Yeah, but there's a logic behind mine, though. Then don't complain. All right, so I'll throw two javelins, and I'll throw them recklessly. Let me take back that dispel magic that I did. No, I love your dispel magic.
Starting point is 00:53:03 So make your first one reckless. That's 25. Okay, that's a hit. Let's deal with this one first. Okay. Go ahead and roll your damage. That's 11 plus three, so 14. Got it.
Starting point is 00:53:13 And then the second one, also recklessly, 21. Okay, that would hit. And that's nine damage. Okay, the second one looks like it's going to hit, but the Shadraw makes a grab at it. Uh-oh, they Matrixing again. They're really good at that. It's the agents.
Starting point is 00:53:31 It plucks the Javelin out of midair and throws it right back at you, Gum-Gum. So you take that damage instead. You don't even get a chance to dodge it or anything? Nope. Ouchies. Is it because it's armor class? What about Raging?
Starting point is 00:53:43 Oh, you take half damage. Yeah, so I would take four damage Oh, yeah, if I threw with two javelins with it. Can I use the bonus action throw? No, that's an attack Like the two of you the guys who have like the most actions possible at the end of it You both always go like is there anything else? always go like, is there anything else I can do? Can I attack again? Yeah, I was like, no, you just went five times. Gum Gum and I have
Starting point is 00:54:08 a bloodlust that cannot be satiated. I just go, spell, move. Alright, and then I guess I'll, that's it. I'll growl. You growl? Okay. Make an intimidation check. And I'll grab the javelin out of my side and grin.
Starting point is 00:54:23 Make an intimidation check. Creepy. That's an eight. So intimidating. Okay, yeah. I guess the grin was like more friendly. Yeah. The shadow says, oh, you like that, do you?
Starting point is 00:54:36 Yeah. Then how about a taste of this? And throws a shard of shadow at you. What's that? That's another song. Hitting AC 15. Oh, it misses. Curse is under its breath. Good soul? That's another song. Hitting AC 15. Oh, that misses. It curses under its breath.
Starting point is 00:54:47 And throws another one. Hitting AC 27. That one hits. Gum Gum does a shart of chat. Doing 28 points of damage. But you take half because you're raging. So 14. And I need you to make me a wisdom saving throw. Well, that is Gum Gum's specialty.
Starting point is 00:55:08 Not the worst. It's only a minus one. Oh, man. That's a one. Two minus one. Yeah, that second blade hits you. And as the blade enters your flesh, you feel your eyes go dim. Lights out. You can no longer see. That's bad. You can no longer see.
Starting point is 00:55:26 That's bad. He can no longer see. Now he's in a blind rage. Make me one more wisdom saving throw, Gum Gum. Okay. Very enthusiastic. The last one went so well. Nine. The fact that you can't see is really scary
Starting point is 00:55:42 to you. Oh no. And you turn around and run right back out of the house just running without being able to see do i make it out of the house yeah because you were right by you were right by the door immediately into an entry entryway i wouldn't be able to because i'm out of movement i'll think of it like a reaction. Okay. Okay, that's it for them. Bark.
Starting point is 00:56:07 So you see this. Gum-Gum opened the door, threw a couple javelins in. One of them came back and hit him. Then some shards of darkness hit him. And then he screamed and turned around and ran away. Oh my God. I can't see. And Mud and his owls are also there with you.
Starting point is 00:56:24 And Kyborg is further back in the courtyard okay hi miles and what's the damage on everybody right now i know kyborg's taking quite a bit how are y'all looking i'm good i'm fine i'm fine okay oh yeah i didn't even scratch still have 10 points see like if i cast something into this i don't want to hurt the old old guy in there what about your uh your talkie thing? My talkie thing? Yeah, you tell them to do stuff. Oh, my command? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:49 Could I see the fancy guy? Yeah. He's standing in the middle of the room. I'll be sure it's like a buddy cop movie. You're up against the doorframe and you peek your head in real fast to see what's going on. Instead of a gun, you've got a loot in your hand. How close is he to the old guy? They're right next to each other.
Starting point is 00:57:04 Right next to each other. Okay. Could I cast Dissonant Whispers hand how close is he to the old guy uh they're right next to each other right next to each other okay could i cast dissonant whispers you absolutely can to the fancy guy yes i'm just referring to old guy fancy guy yeah that's what i gave you easy in my head dissonant whispers uh so i need to make a wisdom saving throw dc 16 my modifier is plus zero. So I need a 16 or better on this. Seven. That is a failure. Yay. All right.
Starting point is 00:57:29 I'm casting you. I'm going to do it at the third level. So it takes 3d6 psychic damage and must immediately use its reaction if available to move as far as its speed allows away from you. Yes. I did at the third level though. So it's 5d6 and that was 15 points of damage. It's a good strategy to get it away from you. Yes. I did it at the third level, though, so it's 5d6, and that was 15 points of damage. It's a good strategy to get away from the old guy.
Starting point is 00:57:49 The fancy-looking Shadrow tries to retreat as far as he can up to the northwest corner. As he does so, he starts dragging the elderly dragonborn with him. Oh, he takes him with him? Yeah, into the northwest corner. Is he attached to him? He's not attached, but he's very much trying to not get
Starting point is 00:58:06 too far away. So as a bonus action, could I cast command on the fancy Shadrow? Yes. I'm going to tell him to grovel. Grovel. What does that sound like? I hate it.
Starting point is 00:58:24 If you could add some really spooky sound effects. Please don't pitch my voice up in that. I've heard of that from outside in the courtyard. Grovel. Please. Please, sir. Yeah, so you cast command, and you feel like you summoned the appropriate Eldritch energies correctly,
Starting point is 00:58:44 but it almost seems like it doesn't even register on the Shadrow. Oh. Oh, so it doesn't even work? No, it just, like, bounces off. That's it for me. That's it for Bart. Kyborg.
Starting point is 00:58:54 I say, all right, team, last bubble. Let's do it. And then I look around. And a tumbleweed blows past me. Would Kyborg like to join us? Kyborg would like to finish the fight. Like, Master Chief, if I waited, could you dispel the blast bubble? It's so important that we get these dragonborn on our side, I'm telling you.
Starting point is 00:59:16 Okay. We could argue that the one we're saving in the house is also getting the blast bubble. Fine, fine. We'll have, like, a break-in team. I'll do it! I hold off my eyes until after john or you could dispel my blindness mud mud and the owls everyone's favorite band welcome
Starting point is 00:59:33 pure chaos oh my god. That's hilarious. What does Mud do then? Mud dispels magic. No, not you. You're fine. You're gonna see an arrow shoot through one of the windows. I cast Dispel Magic at a...
Starting point is 01:00:02 You keep asking me what level. I feel like there's a minimum. But if I go three, it goes to rolls. Dispel magic at a... You keep asking me what level. I feel like there's a minimum. I feel like this is... Well, but if I go three, it goes to rolls. So I'll go... I'll just go fourth. I got the slots. That bubble of darkness drops
Starting point is 01:00:13 and you see a Shadrow and a green dragonborn locked in combat. How far away are they from me? They're very close to you. 10, 15 feet away. Okay. So they're right outside the mansion. Yeah, they're like just to the east of the front
Starting point is 01:00:25 door to the big house. How far is Kyborg from you? Kyborg's like halfway up the courtyard, 100 feet or so. Owls carrying owls carrying owls. Owls all the way down. I could actually do that. So if I send three
Starting point is 01:00:41 owls and they are ones carrying the other one carrying the other one the first one the first one does the only real question is can an owl carry two owls I don't know I don't think so I'm gonna carry capacity yes I'm gonna say no they can carry one I'm not gonna they cannot carry two okay then kyborg's on his own it's's fine. Can I do some sort of check to, like, maybe determine
Starting point is 01:01:06 after seeing the guy get dragged, like, how do I interpret this? When Cas with Dissonant Whispers and supposed to be moving on his own, why did he take this thing? Would love to just see if there's anything I can do. If there's not, tell me there's not.
Starting point is 01:01:19 This must be very important to him. Like, in a life or death situation, this is still something he's willing to stake his life on. Interesting. Okay, okay, okay, yeah, yeah, I gotcha. Could I use the owls in a, in a kind of peculiar way? Well, I, what,
Starting point is 01:01:34 how, why are you asking that now? What would happen if someone was restrained by 11 owls? Um. Like, if you had 11 giant owls trying to pin you to the ground feels like that would be something we could do you can try that uh their strength is not that great okay yeah you're right but i guess if i rolled 11 times there's there's the law there's a chance yeah all right 11 owls are
Starting point is 01:01:58 trying to get this guy so you're trying you're gonna make 11 well i'm gonna make i'm gonna make grapple rolls until i win right you're gonna make 11 i, I'm gonna make I'm gonna make grapple rolls until I win right you make 11 I'm gonna make them until I win 11 strength checks then to see if you can over what I'm saying is I might not make 11 if owl number 7 gets the Right roll. Okay. I see so we're doing him individually one. Yeah. That's a roll. That's a one. That helps. That's a failure. It's going to be a lot of rolls. Two. That's only an eight.
Starting point is 01:02:30 Fail. It was at an 18. All right. You got nine more. Blame that. We're playing here. Playing. That's a nine.
Starting point is 01:02:37 Roll. I'm going to roll for that one. That's a five. I'm really terrible. This is the worst one. Fail. Fail. Are any of these? Are any of these? No. I'm going along This is the worst Fail No I'm going along with you here This is number 5 Come on lucky 5
Starting point is 01:02:53 Fifth time's a charm Failure he's got a good strength modifier You got 6 more That's 11 Nat 20 that's 23 Nat 20 and it's 23 Number 8 I got a 24 seven oh that's 20 that's 23 nat 20 and it's 23 number eight uh number eight uh number eight i got a 24 you did not you can come see it if you want ghost did you like my simpsons reference
Starting point is 01:03:12 that's pretty good sorry i'm doing math over here another one nine these owls are busted. I want a refund on these owls. 13. I'll roll that. That's number 10. 17. Okay. Final owl. There he goes. There he goes. For the win. Cinderella story. Only a 9. Well, now there's 11 owls in this house, so that's going to cost something. So he tried to lift this guy
Starting point is 01:03:39 and couldn't. These owls all come in one at a time, swooping down at this Shadrow. He's just kind of like swatting at them in the air as they're trying to like get at him. And then upon failing their grapple, they create a wall of 11 owls between him and the Dragonborn. No. What do you mean no? What do you mean they're going to create a wall?
Starting point is 01:04:03 There's three owls on the bottom and then there's You really want to do that they can hang upside down can't they so Okay, I mean they can try he's like Occupying it they're trying to cry. How about say that sure they're crowding the speakers. Yeah, I understand that Okay, is there anything else? No. You want a break in this game? No. Uh... I watch as Kyborg does his murders. Alright, yeah, Kyborg, and then Gum-Gum
Starting point is 01:04:32 will get to you after that. Okay, before I attack, because there are, what, three other Dragonborn out there now? Correct, yeah. I say, uh, all together, this is our, you know, let's defeat the Shadrow scum! All together! Oh! I'm trying to rally them. Yeah Make a persuasion roll. It's not the right dialect
Starting point is 01:05:00 Okay, yeah, yeah, all right. And then I declare that final Shadrow my sworn enemy by saying, Forever Winter. Okay. And I roll my attacks with advantage. That's 22 and 13, 22. That hits. Okay. And I shoot an arrow at it.
Starting point is 01:05:20 And I know it's going to throw a fire at me. 12 plus 17. Okay. 12, 17, okay uh 12 79 29 okay yeah uh the arrows hits it uh doing 29 points of damage okay and i keep on attacking that's 12 and 30. that hits that's nine plus the cold damage nine eighteen uh yeah that shadrow falls down unmoving okay i have one final attack. Can I see the fancy Shadrow through any of the windows? That would be pretty cool if I could. I'm just saying.
Starting point is 01:05:53 You can see. No, but there seems to be 11 owls obscuring your vision. Yeah. I'm just seeing through those windows. Exactly what I was going to say. You see a lot of feathers. You're directly south of the door, so you can see straight into the building, but there's just so many
Starting point is 01:06:05 owls in there. Can I see, like, two... Okay, so if I see my team and I see a bunch of owls, are there any other windows on this side? Like, in the direction that he would theoretically be hitting? The only way you can really see from your angle is the front door. Okay. Come on in.
Starting point is 01:06:21 The water is great. I'm, like, a hundred feet away, so can I use one of my attacks as a thing, or do I have to use all of my attacks to change? Okay. I start heading that way, and then I also yell at the other dudes. I'm like, to the building. I put in Draconic. Which sounds like.
Starting point is 01:06:41 I wish we had a video of what Blaine's mouth was doing. They all kind of nod. Okay. Comical. Is that it for Kyborg? It's going to have to be because I can't see him. Gum, gum. Where did the world go?
Starting point is 01:06:53 I don't know. I can't see nothing. You can't see anything. You can do stuff. Head towards the sounds of the owls. You can do without being able to see. You hear perfectly fluent jaconic. And I guess my question is, that guy.
Starting point is 01:07:07 Okay. Roll for impression. A blinded creature can't see and automatically fails any ability check that requires sight. Attack rolls against the creature have advantage, and the creature's attack rolls have disadvantage. Can I run to where I heard mud? You can go back
Starting point is 01:07:22 to mud, yes, and be right next to him within touching air range. Okay. Do that. That's what I want to do. Do that? You can go back to mud, yes, and be right next to him within touching air range. Okay. Do that. That's what I want to do. Do that. And then... I'm afraid. Okay.
Starting point is 01:07:31 Is that it? Yeah. Okay. You can make another wisdom saving throw at this point. Oh, you're blind. 15? Oh, yeah. Now that your turn is over, at the end of your turn, your vision starts coming back.
Starting point is 01:07:42 It's like Han Solo when he gets defrosted from the carbonite and you can't see it for a bit. It's like it's starting to come back. Was he poisoned? Blaine's nodding. No, no. He had a hibernation sickness. Are you talking about Gum Gum? You're talking about Gum Gum. Chris is talking about Han Solo. Now I'm talking about Gum Gum? Yes.
Starting point is 01:07:59 Okay. So he was not poisoned. Gum Gum was not poisoned. No, he was not. Gum-Gum was not poisoned. Or Han Solo. It is that Shadrow's turn. There's owls everywhere. He's back into a corner. You hear him mutter some words.
Starting point is 01:08:15 You will go deep, I ease out. And a black, misty portal appears in the wall. What? What? What? What? And he backs into it, dragging the elderly dragonborn with him. What goes?
Starting point is 01:08:27 Ah, we got three out of four. It's fine. We barely knew you. You hear the green dragonborn yell, someone save Namito. Ah. Oh, wait. The old guy is named Namito. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 01:08:38 That's who they were talking about. One of the other ones. Yes. Okay. Okay. Yeah, the same one. Oh. Okay.
Starting point is 01:08:43 Blue Skidoo, we can too. We gotta go into that portal. Oh, is it open? Yeah. He disappears and the portal is still misty and swirling. Mud goes in with 11 owls. Bart runs in as well. And so does Gum-Gum. I take a little bit longer.
Starting point is 01:08:58 But I also go in there. You step through the mist of black and shadows and everything goes dark. Your skin feels clammy and cold and in the distance you hear the rumbling of thunder and rustling of wind. You blink your eyes and you can barely tell the difference between open and closed. All you can make out are silhouettes, grey outlines of bare trees, jagged stones, thick swirling clouds overhead.
Starting point is 01:09:19 Thunder and wind get louder and deeper. Boom. Boom. Boom. Out from the clouds flap two enormous deep black wings. Four clawed feet land on a ridge nearby as a hazy tail flails behind. You lift your eyes past a massive body of scales until you see two pale purple eyes behind a long snout staring back at you.
Starting point is 01:09:39 A pitchfork tongue hisses out a small plume of smoke. A tingle trickles down your spine. Come on, Gelsap. A dragon! Is it a dragon? Not for a dungeon. Can we take a long rest? Find out if you can take a long rest or not in the next episode of tales from the stinky
Starting point is 01:10:05 dragon wow i want to give a shout out to folks that interacted with us on social media who we named npcs after in this episode just like at bloody whore bri bri the dragonborn uh you know the one that died that no one helped Link IB Bolink the Shadrow leader falsely named Elder Namito and La La Doria La Doria the Shadow Dragon I also want to give a special thanks
Starting point is 01:10:32 to some friends who provided voiceover for characters in this episode like Bolink voiced by Jolie and thanks for listening everyone we'll be back next week with another episode Thank you. you

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