Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Of Life & Breath - Ep. 76 - With Barted Breath

Episode Date: December 21, 2022

The interns find themselves transported into the microcosm of the Breath Monolith closing in on the next Diagem.  Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://li...nktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Shout out to our Voice Actors:  Mysterious Voice - BK from Achievement Hunter (@BlackKrystel) Lynn-Merr the Adult Moonstone Dragon - Lindsey Washburn from Funhaus (@lindzbot_) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Rooster Teeth Production. Good day to all you dow. Glide on in to the Stinky Dragon, drink up our latest tram, the Glitz and Blitz. It's a mixture of burrowing bling bourbon, smoked maple malt, 24 karat gold juice, and topped with a twist of tarragon leaves. One mouthful of this elemental moonshine, you'll be melting down like your favorite metal. Previously, our adventurers traveled from province to province in search of the elders at Tatora.
Starting point is 00:00:41 First, they faced the fire in Ashiko and found Elder Estream. Next they were stupefied in the Tsunam province while searching for Elder Shizu. Then they surveyed a darkened Sora province scouting for Elder Wanabe. But in the end, with a stroke of drum luck they were struck by monolithic lightning. Latch onto a libation and proceed with this pungent potboiler. Gun to my head. I don't remember anything of what we've been doing.
Starting point is 00:01:18 We were going to get the elders, and then we're going to take them to the mountain. To summon a dragon? A good dragon. A good dragon. To fight the bad dragon. To fight summon a dragon. A good dragon. A good dragon. To fight the bad dragon. To fight the bad dragon. Because we got shot by that bad dragon. Bad dragon was in the shadow realm.
Starting point is 00:01:32 With Inku, the bad person, who is from a Studio Ghibli movie. Ghibli or Ghibli? Ghibli. Oh, God. Ghibli. And then we'd gotten a drum and banged it. Correct. Concurrently with something else, and I think
Starting point is 00:01:46 there was lightning. You saved a little boy's rabbit. Yeah. Old lady from the well? Yeah. Why was she down there? We don't know. Did we leave her? Are we still in touch with her? You know what's funny? Is I remember her. Like, you've now all just said everything we were doing, and I'm like, I don't recall almost
Starting point is 00:02:04 any of this, but the old lady in the well, I remember her. It's been a few weeks. Thanksgiving. We filmed this early November and now it's almost December. Yeah. Pulling back the curtain for the listeners. I think it's been four weeks since we recorded an episode. Maybe three weeks.
Starting point is 00:02:20 Maybe three. Yeah. But yeah, that's why we're maybe a little hazy. Even though I'm sure there's many people listening to this episode right after the last episode. Right, they're like, what are they talking about? I feel like I have to point that out because we get some people who do binge listen. Which is great. And I need them to know, like, why don't they remember this stuff?
Starting point is 00:02:36 It's because it's not the same for us. We're all so old. But like, it would align with the, we had an RTX episode that was released and then a between the tails and then like been working on puppet videos. That was that time period. The delayed version of us taking a break was like, okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:53 So Gus is huge on Thanksgiving. So he wanted to take ample time off cause he loves Thanksgiving and everything it represents. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Manifest destiny. So where are we right now? No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't agree with that. Colonization! Manifest destiny. No!
Starting point is 00:03:05 Jesus. So where are we right now? As you blow into the instrument and beat the drum, thunder roars overhead louder and louder, and crack, a flash of lightning strikes the drum, and boom, the drum turns a shade of deep blue and transforms into a large sapphire monolith. The brilliant blue tower starts crackling with energy,
Starting point is 00:03:22 and before you can take another breath, ka-chow, bolts of blue lightning surge from the spikes, striking each of you in your chests. Ow! It's a new gem. Ow. Hey, man. Who's it gonna go to?
Starting point is 00:03:33 Is it gonna be Gum-Gum or Bart? It feels good. It's so tingly. It's gonna go to Bart. I want two. I want two. It's mine. It's mine.
Starting point is 00:03:40 Well, who's powerful like Thanos, who could actually handle the gems? Me! I have the Infinity Gauntlet. It's my... Oh, that's true. It who could actually handle the gems? I have the Infinity Gauntlet. It's my hand. A feminine voice echoes in your head, one you've heard before. It would not be wise to hold one's breath
Starting point is 00:03:53 awaiting candor's call. Ferocious fronts that filled with fear when faced with friends can fall. Silver tongues for silver chains are simply soft with swaying. It is clear that crystal shines most bright when spotlight songs are played micah when will you learn we hate these puzzles no i love these puzzles i just hate not typing fast enough to get all the words down i only got spotlight songs i got Crystal songs.
Starting point is 00:04:25 There were Silver Tongues and Silver Chains. Something about swaying. Start swaying, Kyborg. Ah, Kyborg does the wave. Ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. Do the wave. Do we recognize this? You said we recognize this voice. Is it Andi? Do we know who it was? Andi's the one that we met. She's the tree lady
Starting point is 00:04:42 that we met with the walrus people. Everyone make up her wisdom check I am the Eggman Wisdom check coming in check Oh God, we're also 19 I got a 17 9 6 I know who Andy is mud and Bart you recognize the voice But you can't seem to put a name to it. What are you eating? Yeah, we're recording later than normal so if I get hungry You recognize the voice, but you can't seem to put a name to it. What are you eating? Those are really good. Velveeta. With the blueberry flavor? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:06 We're recording later than normal, so if I get hungry, I'm going to be a real cranky jerk later. Velveeta. Who was the deity that I met in my little dream? That was... Oh, she was fun. You guys had a... What's it called?
Starting point is 00:05:20 Banter. Repartee. You guys had what's it called? Banter. What was that? Your dream? what dream were you talking about when i when i went into when i got my my gem oh oh oh right right right yeah you went and uh that was the water spirit amphibolus oh that's right okay what are we what are we seeing right now we're struck by lightning we heard a voice oh what are you seeing that's great i was wondering when it was asked what they see you look around you realize you're not in the same place you were before you're no longer
Starting point is 00:05:47 in that courtyard striking the drum and blowing on the musical instrument you realize you're in an outdoor corridor in front of a large open gate that appears to lead into the corner of a courtyard is this like the ethereal plane or is this like a location that we're familiar with it's not a location you've been to before. But we're like physically there, not like dream state. Or can we not tell? Yeah. As far as you know. I look at my feet. You've got feet? Okay. Mud, show feet.
Starting point is 00:06:13 When I look at the skybox, is it like a normal day or are we talking like purple, oozy, we're in some sort of alternate dimension? Yeah, you look up and you see blue clouds reaching as far as the eye can see. Blue clouds, wow. I walk through the gate.
Starting point is 00:06:28 Blue clouds. Okay, yeah. I'll follow. You walk through the gate and... Gum gum follows. Mud walks through the gate and gum gum follows. And yeah, you're in an outdoor courtyard, maybe for a school or a monastery. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:06:40 Are there any other humanoids or any creatures around? Do you walk in as well? Yes. Okay, Bart also walks in. So, like I said, there's buildings surrounding the courtyard. They're all made out of stone. They've got tiled roof, tiled roofs, sorry. And, yeah, in this corner or in this part of the courtyard,
Starting point is 00:06:57 you see, like, some wooden benches, some shrubbery, a picnic table, a gazebo, a small wooden archway, and like the corner of a fountain. There's a fountain in the center of the courtyard and like in the very center of the courtyard. And, you know, part of it comes into the corner you all are in. In the gazebo, you do see someone sitting under the gazebo, I should say. Is it possible that I recognize this as the orphanage that Gum Gum and I were at? Make a wisdom check. 15.
Starting point is 00:07:24 It does not look familiar to you. You do not remember the orphanage looking like this. This is way too fancy. Kyborg also enters because I was outside. Kyborg. Can I approach the Mr. Belvita? Can I approach the gazebo? Mr. Belvita.
Starting point is 00:07:38 You caught me right as I took a bite. Kyborg, you enter. And as soon as you enter, the gate slams shut and turns into solid stone I made a boo boo music starts playing what if you just stayed out there the whole time
Starting point is 00:07:53 while we did the whole quest inside you were supposed to hold the gate open sorry Hodor and a deafening chime rings out overhead everyone go ahead and make a charisma saving throw saving throw nat Saving throw? Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:08:08 Oh, Nat 20 for 22. 26. 15. One. What? You couldn't take it as two? Is it really a one? Three minus two. Wow.
Starting point is 00:08:17 Mud is for some reason repulsed by Kyborg. Kyborg? Yeah. We're getting the ick from Kyborg. We're getting the ick. Guys, you ever have a crush on your mom? And he pees himself a little bit. Kyborg, go ahead and take one level of exhaustion.
Starting point is 00:08:37 You can add it to your character sheet under conditions. Really? Oh, wow. This is new. All right. I call out to the person in the gazebo and just say, Hello, my name is Mud. What's your name?
Starting point is 00:08:48 You're still a little distance away. Not too far. Hello, my name is Mud. What's your name? Toby. The figure sitting under the gazebo doesn't seem to acknowledge you. Can I go up to them? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:02 Sit down. Yeah. The figure is sitting on a bench under the gazebo is it keanu reeves oh he's sad he's on a bench can i uh pull out some snacks i'm gum gum you want some snacks yeah you do that and as you're getting closer and as you sit down you realize that it's a young emerald dragon wormling. He looks at you, almost kind of startled, and says, oh, hello, Gum-Gum. I'm Rhyne-Sue.
Starting point is 00:09:28 Rhyne-Sue. So what kind of creature was it? A wormling. A young emerald dragon wormling. Did you want snacks? I got crackers. Elvita. For some reason, Gum-Gum sounds creepy.
Starting point is 00:09:40 I mean, I just assume my grand rations might have crackers. I don't know. Is that a... He says, I love crackers. Okay. I don't know. Is that a he says? I love crackers. OK, my uncle died choking on a cracker once. You're like the energy vampire from what we do in the shadows. Look, I'm exhausted and I'm uncharismatic.
Starting point is 00:09:57 I'm looking for a spell to make Kybert shut up. Yeah. Can I show the crackers and be like, so what's this place that you live? Do you live here? He has a slightly puzzled look on his face. It says, yeah, I what's this place that you live? Do you live here? He has a slightly puzzled look on his face. It says, yeah, I like it here. What is it? What's here? He says, this is just where I spend my time. Can I approach? Yeah. Hello. I don't know if you heard me earlier, but my name is Mud. We were playing a drum and found ourselves here now. Do you know where we
Starting point is 00:10:23 are now? We were in another place and now we're here. Just curious if you have any insight. Ooh, that sounds confusing. Yeah, it is. You know what else is confusing? What's that? Riddles. Do you like riddles?
Starting point is 00:10:35 No. Bart runs over, I love riddles. You love riddles? As long as you say it to me really slowly. I'm really good at riddles. Bart just comes up with like an audio recorder like, can you speak into this? Yeah, can we add an audio recorder to
Starting point is 00:10:49 Bart's inventory? I like to think since it's like in the D&D lore, it's like a little imp or something. A little parrot. Yeah, a little parrot. That's good. Say it to him loudly in the ear. He says, oh, this is going to be fun. You breathe out, I breathe in. You let go, I breathe out. What am I? A balloon. Oh, this is going to be fun. You breathe out. I breathe in. You let go.
Starting point is 00:11:06 I breathe out. What am I? A balloon. Oh, very good. I approach and I want to say, hey, it's Kyborg. And I approach with my left hand. And then I realize and then I when he reaches out with his left hand, I reach out with my right hand. And then I give up on that really quick.
Starting point is 00:11:21 And then I go in for a really long hug. Bart shudders. He's not with us. Gum Gum thinks Kyborg's dancing and starts doing the same. Like left arm, right arm. Do the Kyborg. Everybody's doing it. The Emerald Dragon Wormling is also not
Starting point is 00:11:37 intending to dance along with you, but kind of dancing along because he's reaching his left arm out and right arm. Could Bart cast invisibility on Kyborg? Oh my god. Mud conjures eight crows to swarms of crows to cover his... To just like lift you away and take you out of this awkward situation. Was that
Starting point is 00:12:00 right? Balloon? Yes, very good. Bart high fives Kyborg. He looks at you Bart and says, your friend is very smart. I miss and slap you in the face. Your friend is very smart, not very... Likeable. Likeable, yeah. Not very charismatic.
Starting point is 00:12:12 He grows on you, kind of like a fungus. Okay, I've got another one. I can see that you're very good at this, so I need to up the difficulty here. Eh, what if you didn't? Alive as you, but without breath. As cold in my life as in my death. Never a thirst, though I always drink. Dressed in a mail, but I never clink.
Starting point is 00:12:33 What am I? Dressed in a mail? Is this a suit of armor? No. A statue? Oh, it's a... He's alive. It's a...
Starting point is 00:12:41 It's like a... Can you say it again? Could you say it again? Why don't you think about it a little bit first? I don't remember it anymore. I don't know what to think about. Something about he's alive but doesn't breathe. He's as cold as he is dead when he's alive.
Starting point is 00:12:53 And is in mail but doesn't clink. Did I miss anything? Yeah, that's pretty much the top level points. Are you metal? You tell me. Doesn't clink. It's something that's alive. But it clink. It's alive. But it's cold. But doesn't breathe. And it's
Starting point is 00:13:07 cold. I mean. I asked Gumbo if he knows. Alive but doesn't breathe. It's cold as you are and it doesn't clink. But it's got mail. It's got mail. Mail. A mailbox. Mail like his gender? Or mail as in
Starting point is 00:13:24 like. That's what I'm wondering. Like, post office? Could I roll for intelligence or wisdom to see if I could get a clue? You could say no. No. Not yet. Maybe later, but I don't know. Maybe not.
Starting point is 00:13:40 Something like a plant? That's what I'm thinking. A tree-ish type thing. It's cold, though. It would be cold. Yeah. The, uh, Wyrmling seems to be smiling very happy that you all are, uh... Is it snow?
Starting point is 00:13:50 Struggling. Snow. He says, mm, no. Oh, ice. Ice. Ice. Do-do-do-do-do-do. Stop it.
Starting point is 00:14:01 Mm. You're even more exhausted now. He says, is ice alive? I mean, it's water, which I might argue is You're frosty the snowman It's not snowman, it's a Do you think it's like cold-blooded creatures?
Starting point is 00:14:17 Do you think that would count? A lizard, a dragon A lizard It doesn't breathe I love the build of? It doesn't. A lizard. It doesn't breathe. I love the build of excitement with Gum-Gum there. It doesn't breathe. You guys are suggesting. It doesn't breathe.
Starting point is 00:14:30 It doesn't breathe. So then it's, what about like a fish? Oh, look at your smart friend. Ah. I put my hands together and I do the. Oh, metal, like scales. A fish. Hey.
Starting point is 00:14:46 Ooh la la. The Wyrmling seems a little frustrated. He furrows his brow a little bit. You're too good at this. Shouldn't you be happy about that? I like seeing people really use their brain and have to think about it. You don't like me. No, I think you won't like Gump Gump. This Wyrmling's one of those I'm actually guys, you can tell.
Starting point is 00:15:04 He's got some very strong opinions about the star wars uh franchise yeah everyone make a let's say a perception check 22 10 15 seven good thing you guys have me in mud today i'm rolling dad yeah barton mudd really uh really goats in this uh episode i'm pulling my weight. I just want to point out a little more. And Bart and Mud, you're the two who noticed this. In addition to this gazebo and this bench where the Wyrmling is, there's also, I don't know if I said all this earlier, there's also like a small wooden archway in the corner of the fountain. I know I did mention that.
Starting point is 00:15:38 Just wanted to make sure I had covered all of that. Wooden benches, shrubbery, picnic table, gazebo, archway, and a corner of the fountain. And all this stuff is nearby him? He's sitting on a bench under the gazebo. Okay. So he's under the gazebo. We see a corner of the fountain, which means there's more fountain to be seen if we were to approach it. Like, is this like shrouded in then like kind of like a fog of war type thing? Like we're not able to see the other stuff? Yeah. So I guess another thing that I should have reemphasized there is that after you walk through and the gate closed then you know like
Starting point is 00:16:07 blue clouds kind of formed a wall restricting you into this corner of the courtyard smurf that's why in this corner we see the bench all that's correct and that's why you only see like a portion of the fountain like the fountains in the center divided up into four has anything happened as we're answering these questions correctly make another perception perception check, Bart. Ooh, 14. Nothing that you can tell. Can I approach one of the blue clouds? Yeah. I just want to walk through it. In which direction?
Starting point is 00:16:31 Like, from where you are, you're like in the northwest corner of... Well, so you're in the northwest corner, so you can either go east or south. Shoot. Just turn a direction. Northwest. South.
Starting point is 00:16:44 East. Corner. So. Southeast corner. So the southeast corner would be where the fountain is. Because the fountain's in the center of the courtyard. You should probably go look at the fountain. I'm just going to go left. So when you walked in from the northwest corner gate, to your left would be east. I go east.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Okay. You walk off to the east, and like I said, there is that wall of blue cloud there. Do you try to walk through it? Sure. I throw an arrow in. I just toss like a little arrow in just one of my arrows for my will you toss an arrow and it bounces off the cloud and like pretty far goes back behind you uh i think it's gonna shoot me back but what the heck i touched the cloud dive in yeah i i uh Yeah, I, uh, I, uh, I, uh, blue skidoo, we can too. You dive in, like headfirst swan dive into the blue cloud.
Starting point is 00:17:30 Almost like a cartoon, like Wile E. Coyote or something. You bounce back in the opposite direction, 10 feet away from the cloud, and you take three points of damage. What damage is it going to take? Beep, beep. So we only see, you sort of corner of the fountain. Could Bart go up to the fountain to look at it? Yeah, before I address that real fast. The dragon warmly sees you do that, Kyborg.
Starting point is 00:17:51 And he begins laughing uncontrollably like a little kid. Hey, your riddles are easy. And says, oh, you're so silly. The only way to get through is to answer my riddles. I'm already answering two of them. Well, then why are you doing that, dum-dum? No, I'm dumb-dum. He sees dum-dum.
Starting point is 00:18:04 I'm sorry, Bart. You said you wanted to go look at the fountain? Yes, please. Yeah, the fountain is like very finely crafted out of various metals and gemstones. It's not currently spraying any water, any liquid, I should say. The liquid in it does not appear to be water. It's shimmering from color to color. And it's just like inside.
Starting point is 00:18:22 It's not actually spouting, you said? Correct. It's like, you know how like fountains have like a big pool at the bottom and maybe like a spire in the middle where yeah you know water or whatever liquid comes out there's no liquid coming out of it it's just liquid in the pool around the base it's rainbow color shimmery it's shimmering yeah color to color could i reach in yes i touch the water the liquid can i touch the liquid might be an oil spill yeah you reach into like the base of the fountain and touch the liquid? It might be an oil spill. Yeah, you reach into the base of the fountain and touch the liquid. It seems almost kind of slippery in your hands.
Starting point is 00:18:50 It's not an oil slick. It's not oil, but you can tell it's definitely not water. Does it do anything to my skin? Does it smell any sort of way? Shell Gas Company's been here. BP. Make a perception check. 21.
Starting point is 00:19:04 No, it's just kind of shimmering in Bart's hands just like any other liquid. It just kind of rolls down your hand and falls back into the fountain. So, what's another riddle? Well, don't drink from that fountain. Anybody have a quarter? I give Bart a coin. What kind of coin? Silver.
Starting point is 00:19:20 Big spender. Bart tosses it in to the fountain. You got it. First time. That's a hard word to say tosses Tosses it try it tosses it We all have our troubles flips that coin Makes a little wish is barking to share his wish no, oh he wants to die Jim And makes a little wish. Is Bart going to share his wish?
Starting point is 00:19:42 No. Oh. He wants to die, Jim. Anything happen? Even wishes don't come true if you share them. It's true. You toss your silver into the fountain. And it looks like it starts changing a color. It becomes almost like yellowish orange.
Starting point is 00:19:57 And then bursts into a flame. Oh, dear. And then it sinks into the liquid. But it had no effect on my skin. Okay, bro. Put your arm in there. I want to see what happens. Just simply in the name of science.
Starting point is 00:20:09 Hey, Kyborg, do not put your arm in here. Okay, I forgot to mention, when you all were transported, I keep forgetting, Duncan is with you, and Duncan also got transported as well. Where are you coming from? You turn around, and there's just Duncan sitting there drinking a big cup of coffee. Hey, Duncan.
Starting point is 00:20:24 Can I run and throw in like five silvers? Yeah, you run and throw it in. I'm literally burning money. Why? I don't know. Gum-Gum would be excited at what happened. Guys, give me all of your wealth. Gum-Gum, you run up very excitedly for some reason
Starting point is 00:20:37 and throw your five pieces of silver in. But this time, instead of igniting and turning yellowish-orange, it looks like they're covered in frost. And then they freeze over. It's shifting between different elements. Looks like. Five wishes for me. What did you wish for, Gum-Gum?
Starting point is 00:20:55 I'm not gonna tell you. Kind of want to dip a weapon in to see if it'll give it powers, but I also don't want to burn a weapon. Like your arm. No. What about an arrow? Should we go back and see if this guy has any more? Yeah, I figured let's solve the riddles. You come back and he says, are you all done playing with the fountain?
Starting point is 00:21:12 Yeah. For now. Are you done with your stupid riddles? No. Well, you are the one who asked him. I hate that. Give me more. He says, you're just wasting your time playing with that fountain. What does that fountain do? Like, what's so special about it?
Starting point is 00:21:27 It's in the middle of the garden. I didn't think anything is a waste of time if you're having a good time. It's actually beautiful, Gum-Gum. Yeah. As we're talking to this guy, Bart's just going to face the fountain so he could watch it. Okay. You're almost like you're back to the Wyrmling and the party, but you're just facing the fountain. Yes.
Starting point is 00:21:44 Arms crossed. Arms crossed. Arms crossed. Okay. Actually, no. He's making binoculars with his hands, but he's not holding binoculars. He's just looking at it. The Wyrmling looks at Kyborg and says, okay, I have one for you. Shoot.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Sorry, I'm exhausted. I eat. I live. I breathe. I live. I drink. I die. What am I?
Starting point is 00:22:04 Fire. Oh. That's good. Wow. Wow. Do I die. What am I? Fire! Oh! That's good. Wow. Do I see anything happen? Make a perception check. All of us or? No, just Bart.
Starting point is 00:22:11 24. No, nothing seems to happen. I'm holding my to the side. I'm like, hey, this guy's... These riddles are pretty amateur. We've had harder than this. Do you have any more riddles? I shoved Kyberg away from me. Or more crackers.
Starting point is 00:22:23 You gave him your crackers. Why are you asking him for more crackers? How about we continue with these riddles and see what happens? So nothing happens with the fountain, but you did notice something else, Bart. Okay. You do notice that on top of the picnic table, there's gardening tools. There's a rake, some shears, and a shovel. Do you want to go garden with us, Mr. Rainsu?
Starting point is 00:22:43 Bart saw it. Yeah, Rainsu is starting to look kind of upset. He says, and a shovel. Do you want to go garden with us, Mr. Rainsu? Bart saw it. Bart saw it. Yeah, Rainsu is starting to look kind of upset. He says, okay, fine. When I burst of anger, my tears scald the earth, and my breath... Volcano. Volcano. I was about to say the same thing.
Starting point is 00:23:00 God, I wish the audience could see Gus's look. I wish. I've never Gus's look. I wish. I mean, it doesn't. I've never seen this man more disappointed in my life. I'm so disappointed. The fact that there was also just a volcano. Oh, man. That's so funny.
Starting point is 00:23:17 I also imagine Micah right now is facepalming as well. I don't know. Got all these riddles ready. At the very least, we're actually answering them as opposed to previous times where we've just been failing constantly. Rhyne Sue stands up on the bench and says, okay, you think you're so smart? Yes. And he lets out a deep breath. Everyone make an intelligence check.
Starting point is 00:23:38 Oh. I'm sorry, intelligence saving throw. He might get me on this one. Oh, thank gosh. 19. 21. 16. Zero.
Starting point is 00:23:41 He might get me on this one. Oh, thank gosh. 19. 21. 16. Zero. I can't believe I have a negative three on your end. I have plus five. Wow, you are the smartest one.
Starting point is 00:23:53 It's a pretty good game. Only on saving throws. So someone has to attack me with intelligence. Yeah. They have to be viciously intelligent. They have to surprise me with their intelligence. They have to throw a book at you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:04 So, Gum GumGum, you take 15 points of psychic damage. Oh! Okay. That's what you get for trying to feed the practice. I think it actually doubles, because I think he's weak to psychic damage. Everyone else takes half, because everyone else made a good save. So we'll say seven. Oh, Gum-Gum goes, ah! And then, like,
Starting point is 00:24:20 falls backwards, and like, my head hurts. Did you do that? This guy's attacking us. He says, oh, sometimes when I, like, my head hurts. Did you do that? This guy's attacking us. Mr. Ratsu. He says, oh, sometimes when I get angry, things happen. Oh, that's okay. We've all worked through anger management before. Do you want to talk about it? Yeah, do you need a therapist?
Starting point is 00:24:34 He says, no, no. I need you guys to play by the rules. Okay. When I get angry, sometimes weird things happen, too. And sometimes I can't control it. But it's okay, because even if bad things happen, your friends will can't control it But it's okay Because even if bad things happen Your friends will help you out
Starting point is 00:24:48 You got any friends? You can be your friends What's he talking about? I'm talking about my rage I never really know I just nod and say yes This is Ryan Sue asking Your friends are a little weird
Starting point is 00:25:00 Okay, fine What did we break the rules? You're answering my riddles. You're doing too good. Oh, do you want us to be wrong? Would that be more fun for you? Angry man? Well, if you're wrong, then you spend more time here and we can play
Starting point is 00:25:16 more riddles. Oh, he's lonely. He's alone. He has no friends. I say this audibly enough to him. Oh, no. Kidding. He's right behind you. Okay, this is a good one. Okay.
Starting point is 00:25:31 It speaks with a hard tongue. It cannot breathe, for it has no lung. What is it? A shoe? It's a whip. No, no. It has no tongue. It has no tongue.
Starting point is 00:25:42 I thought it said hard tongue. Hard tongue. Hard tongue. Oh, is it a bell? Man. He, uh, Reinsu. Reinsu looks at you and says, you all are no fun. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:25:56 I'm just, I'm enjoying myself if that helps at all. He gets off the bench, you know, stands on the ground under the gazebo and very quickly burrows under the ground. Oh, don't be like that. Oh, because he's a wormling ground under the gazebo and very quickly burrows under the ground. Oh! Don't be like that. Oh, because he's a wormling. I send Gumbo after him. You send Gumbo after him? Uh, how fast does Gumbo burrow? He's a badger. Skeleton of a badger
Starting point is 00:26:15 pops back out of the hole. Couldn't he follow the hole? That's what I mean. It's almost like the ground swallows up Ryan Sue. Oh. He's like a baby smarsh. I'm looking up badgers how many times have i looked up a badger in dnd here i have i have a tab open on my phone at all times that's the badger page for dnd uh yeah gumbo uh begins uh digging underground very quickly behind ryan sue does he find him how do you communicate with gumbo with my ring of familiar
Starting point is 00:26:41 bond like i mean how does that work is what i mean isn't it psychic yeah like answer me that question i'm just curious as to the mechanic of like this is so tired of gumbo how to change the rules on how we work with gumbo you can communicate with it telepathically my ring of familiar bond does it have a um range on it yeah okay um i guess he's not here anymore so i can't ask him but so you said we saw the shovel, the rake, and you said a hoe? It was a rake, shears, and shovel. Shears. Okay. Do they look used?
Starting point is 00:27:13 Yeah, sure. I have to think about that. I will say, after you send Gumbo down, Rinesu pops back out with Gumbo right behind him and says, No, no, don't follow me. And then he burrows back down. Chase me, chase me situation. I'm very familiar. I don't know what it is.
Starting point is 00:27:29 I think it might be a don't follow me situation. Do I send Gumbo again or do we try to call out to him? I don't know. It's like I can't. This guy like wants company but doesn't want company. I feel like we got to get something out of him though. Do you want to go like investigate the gardening stuff? Yeah, probably.
Starting point is 00:27:44 Okay. Why don't you lead the way? Okay. Do you want to go, like, investigate the gardening stuff? Yeah, probably. Okay. Why don't you lead the way? Okay. Bart's going to go look at the gardening stuff. Okay. As you begin making your way over to the gardening stuff, Gumbo communicates with you, Mud, that he has burrowed under the blue clouds and is in the other corner of the courtyard. Ah.
Starting point is 00:28:00 Oh, we could go underground to get around this place. We should probably get that shovel then. Yeah. I would say, Bart, if you want to take the shovel, I can take the shears because I'm sure those will come in handy later. I have a suggestion. I can make Gumbo get big.
Starting point is 00:28:13 If Gumbo gets big and burrows, could he burrow a hole for us to use to get to the next corridor? How big can you make him? That's part of the, I can enlarge him. I can use the enlarge spell, which makes him medium. Would medium be enough for us to crawl through?
Starting point is 00:28:28 You all are medium-sized creatures. Well, then Gumbo is going to make us a little path. Really quick, I want to give him a hug before he digs away, because, I mean, it's a giant badger. It's like a Totoro-type creature. How often do you get to hug a giant badger? He mauls Skyborg. Okay, so you enlarge gumbo
Starting point is 00:28:45 with the enlarged spell and have him begin burrowing a tunnel from here to the other side where he was before off to the east and you all follow him through yeah i mean i do could i you want to take the grab the shovel sure i'll grab the other two yeah the shears and the rake the rake yeah okay yeah you all you know, crawling through the tunnel. It's big enough for you. It's not like huge, maybe for Bardic. It's big enough for me. You have to kind of crawl to get through there, but you're able to get through.
Starting point is 00:29:13 Partway through the tunnel as you're crawling through, you realize that the gardening tools disappear from your hands. Huh. Could I go back the way we came and see if they appeared back on that table? Yeah, they're back on the picnic table. Huh. Could I go back the way we came and see if they appeared back on that table? Yeah, they're back on the picnic table. Whoa. I guess maybe you can't take anything physically through the clouds. Noted.
Starting point is 00:29:31 Although none of our stuff, though, is... Just those things. The things that exist in one corridor can't exist in another. I guess I'll go with Bart back to check, and then is there anything around the picnic table, like plants that look like they need cleaning up or any gardening? No, there was some shrubbery, like I mentioned before, but I mean, it's not terribly disheveled or anything. It doesn't look like it has to be gardened.
Starting point is 00:29:52 Mm-mm. Complete this task. It has to be gardened. It wasn't. Yeah. It didn't need to, it was disheveled. There's a plant somewhere. Have you gardened your plants today? Uh, I can't keep things alive, so no. No.
Starting point is 00:30:09 So we mudded the railings, ghosted the tunnel, and what do I see? Only mud has gone through? I go back in. I'll follow. I'll follow. Okay, so everyone has come through to the other corner, correct? Sure. Okay. You all pop out, and this courtyard looks very similar to the one you were just in.
Starting point is 00:30:21 You know, more wooden benches, shrubbery, a picnic table, an even bigger gazebo, the corner of a fountain, but this corner also has a large pile of skulls. That's less accommodating. Interesting decoration choice. Human skulls? Okay. Before I answer that, a deafening chime rings out overhead. Everyone make a charisma saving throw.
Starting point is 00:30:40 Ah! So bad at this. 24. 8. That's a 1. That's a this. 24. 8. That's a 1. That's a 1. High five! We intentionally smacked Kyborg in the face. And then you miss and hit yourself in the balls. I hit myself in the balls!
Starting point is 00:30:59 That's a low 5. Hang in low. It's a low 2. Nice. Gum gum, Kyborg, and Mud, you all take one level of exhaustion. You're tired now, Kyborg. You're fine, guys. And I assume nothing happens to Bart. No, Bart's good. And just for any, you know, listeners or anyone who is not familiar with exhaustion.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Yeah, for those who are unfamiliar. Oh, you want to explain it? I was going to explain it, but you can if you want. Go ahead, go ahead. No, okay. I don't have the handbook in front of me. Should he have had disadvantage on ability checks? Yeah, that's one of the reasons I'm bringing it back.
Starting point is 00:31:33 He rolled a one, so I don't know how much more disadvantage he could get on that. Well, that's a saving throw, so it's different than an ability check. But if you have one level of exhaustion, you have disadvantage on ability checks. Now your speed is halved, too. If you have two levels of exhaustion, your speed is halved. Three levels of exhaustion, you have disadvantage on attacks
Starting point is 00:31:51 and saving throws. Four levels of exhaustion, hit point maximum is halved. Five levels of exhaustion, your speed is reduced to zero, and six levels of exhaustion is death. Okay, I just remembered something, and I understand if it's too late, because I now know the repercussions of me
Starting point is 00:32:07 failing that thing, but I have a thing called Indomitable where I can re-roll a saving throw that I fail. I must use the new roll. You can use this one time for longer. Can I use that? If you have one, you can re-roll it right now. To avoid this potential second point of exhaustion. Yeah, buddy!
Starting point is 00:32:23 Alright. Read it. Read right. Read it. Read it. Read it out loud for everybody. As a reminder, his first roll was a one. As a reminder, zero.
Starting point is 00:32:40 Felicitations, my foul-smelling friends. Please don't miss out on all the puppet videos, animatics, and other fun surprises we post on social media. Make sure you and your friends follow us at StinkyDragonPod on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok.
Starting point is 00:32:51 Come join us on the StinkyDragon subreddit where you can join a cordial community of fellow listeners. Enjoy the show, you know, just like you. As always, if you post on social media using hashtag StinkyDragonPod, we might name an NPC in the show after you. He rolled a two with his modifier of minus two and it came out to zero. There was a 90% chance you would have had a better roll.
Starting point is 00:33:22 It was only 5% you would roll worse. Dude. And you did it. Did you break the headphones? No, I didn't break the headphones. They're fine. I only have that once per long rest too. I like the idea of like Kyborg trying to spiffy himself up to make himself more charismatic.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Like failing, like he's got a piece of parsley between his teeth. I don't know, like he's just failing miserably. He's got something on his face. And he's like, hold on, hold on.
Starting point is 00:33:41 And then he turns around and like reshovels himself, tries again, and somehow makes himself look worse when he turns back around oh my god he farts audibly he's he's scrolling through his abilities trying to see just deal with it i have no luck he's i got nothing yeah he'll just take it so if you want in the future uh don't forget bart has bardic inspiration that you could use uh before knowing the results oh Oh, I could? Mm-hmm. Is Rhinosue here?
Starting point is 00:34:08 No, you do not see Rhinosue here. Oh, and then to answer the earlier question that Bart had before the chime went off, it is various kinds of skulls. Anything else? Various kinds of skulls, okay. Yeah. So, yeah, like I said, it's very similar. Wooden benches, shrubbery, picnic table, gazebo,
Starting point is 00:34:23 the corner of the fountain, pile of skulls. And there is also a figure sitting onubbery picnic table gazebo the corner of the fountain pile skulls and there is also a figure sitting on the bench under the gazebo and things are scaled up or it's just a larger gazebo it's just a larger gazebo okay is the person sitting on the bench uh rai su right right no this figure appears to be bigger than ryan su was ryan su was pretty small uh i have bad charisma you guys go ahead before we go, can I toss another silver into the fountain of this side? Oh, yeah, you could. Or look inside before we do anything. Do you want to just peek in first?
Starting point is 00:34:51 See what it looks like? Let him toss his money. Well, I mean, does it look the same? Yeah, it looks the same. Okay. Yeah, you toss, what, one silver? Yeah. You toss one silver in, and it seems to have, like, a green color to it that kind of sizzles a little bit.
Starting point is 00:35:05 It's an acid. Yeah. Approach the figure. Hello, my name is Mud. Do you like riddles? Ryan Sue sent you. Hello, my name is Mud. Do you want to know how I got these scars?
Starting point is 00:35:20 You begin walking up to the gazebo to approach the figure under there. But before you can get too close, he says, figure under there, but before you can get too close He says no no no don't get too close. Oh, why what's wrong? He says any creature who gets near to me will meet an awful fate and he points at the pile of skulls Oh, that's terribly sad. I'm sorry. Is that like your choice or is this some sort of curse that you carry? Or is he threatening? Yeah, are you threatening us right now? Are you threatening us? You're fronting up, bro? Oh, no, this is for your own good. So you're cursed. Roar.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Wait, I can't get a read on this guy. I wasn't sold before, but the roar sold it. Okay. Yeah. Can I go investigate the skulls? Yeah. Oh, my handiwork. Yeah, I'm going to investigate these things. Are you proud of your murdering spree?
Starting point is 00:36:06 Are these real? Make a, what do you think? Perception or investigation? I get advantage down investigation. Yeah, make an investigation check. That was a 19, a 20. Beautiful. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:16 Or a 10 or a seven. God, I don't know how to read numbers. That'd be a 20. Yeah. Yeah, they appear to be real skulls. Is the pile just, oops, all skulls? Or is there something underneath the pile? Can I move a little bit and see if it continues to be skulls?
Starting point is 00:36:29 Or is it like, you know? Yeah, I know. Yeah. Is there like. Something hidden underneath. Or like something making the pile look bigger. Yeah. Under it.
Starting point is 00:36:36 Right. Other bones. It's just skulls. No, it's skulls all the way down. Could Barko grab one of the skulls and try to go back down the tunnel to the other side? Sure. Why not? You want to test, see if it disappears? Yeah. You grab one of the skulls and try to go back down the tunnel to the other side sure why not you want to test see if it disappears yeah uh you grab one of the skulls and go back down through the passageway that um gumbo had made called a gunnel when you're going back through the blue cloud now extends all the way down through the tunnel so we can't go back
Starting point is 00:37:01 there is no going back oh wow grabs a skull and starts reciting Shakespeare. Go for it. To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them. Oh, bigger performance check. That was the, that's word for word. I know, I'm impressed.
Starting point is 00:37:22 Bart hears it from within the tunnel and just starts applauding. Thank you. That was great, Ky's word for word. I know, I'm impressed. Bart hears it from within the tunnel and just starts applauding. Thank you. That was great, Kyborg. Thank you. I'm throwing you my panties. I don't want them, thank you. Eight. Do you have an inspiration die?
Starting point is 00:37:36 I sure don't. Yeah, you get an inspiration die. Nice. You know what? I approach the figure. He stands up, you know, from the stands up from the bench and begins backing away. I warn you, don't get too close. It's for your own good.
Starting point is 00:37:50 What's going to happen? Ask the skulls. What's going to happen? I ask my skull. Like this. Just puppeting it. He says, platform. I keep walking towards him. This guy's all talk.
Starting point is 00:38:02 I slowly keep walking towards him. He just bursts into flames. I hope not. Watch out. He puts a hand out and the floor becomes slippery with water under you. I cast shape water and turn it into ice. It's getting more slippery. Oh, no, I destroy the water.
Starting point is 00:38:17 Sorry. I'll cast destroy water. I destroy it. Oh. Oh, he seems a little taken aback by that. I keep walking towards him. Listen, not everyone's love language is words of affirmation or physical touch. Maybe he's an acts of service kind of guy.
Starting point is 00:38:31 I'm calling this guy's bluff. This is how Mudd dies. Maybe. He seems to like kind of make a hiccup and like a yellow wave of energy comes out in front of him. Make a constitution saving throw, Mudd. Don't stand. Don't Mud. Don't stand. Don't stand. 18.
Starting point is 00:38:49 18. All right. You feel like almost like a weakening inside your body, Mud, as the wave of yellow washes over you and you take 12 points of damage. See, I warned you. Don't get too close. Could Bart approach, comes out of the tunnel, puts the skull back on the table
Starting point is 00:39:05 and approaches and goes, do you not want us close to you or is it just something you can't control? He says, I don't know. It just happens sometimes. People get hurt. Can I keep walking towards him? Yeah, sure. I will say at this point you get close. Maybe he needs one of Gum Gum's hugs.
Starting point is 00:39:21 I was going to try to give him a little hug if I got close enough. Mud can relate to this guy. He doesn't like people close to him. Yeah, you get close within, we'll say you get close within hugging range. I hug him. Your skin burns off your bones. He kind of like the posture he was carrying, the bravado, I would say.
Starting point is 00:39:42 Or like the facade seems to break a little bit. Oh. And says, it's been so long since I've had a hug. Aw. That's real sad. Gumbo gives him a hug too, and he's big. Can Gumgo hug both of them? Sure, why not?
Starting point is 00:39:55 I go in for a hug. Get careful. Don't everyone get too close. You're going to get hurt. It's okay. Sometimes it's worth it. I go in for a hug, but I trip on the gazebo steps. And eat floorboard.
Starting point is 00:40:07 Your head goes directly into his crotch. No. You hear him say, oh, it's been so long since Dark Crest has had a hug. What? Dark Crest. Dark Christmas. Dark Crest. What kind of creature is Dark Crest?
Starting point is 00:40:20 Yeah, it's like a young Topaz dragon. Oh, goodwill hunting him. Just be like, it's not your fault, son. Topaz dragon, you said? Yeah. Who do you think was in goodwill hunting? Yeah, but you went, it's not your fault, son. I thought it was like a Sean Connery.
Starting point is 00:40:36 Ask him his name. Oh, what's your name? Well, Dark Crest, of course. Dark Crest? Crest. Crest. Crest. Why are you here?
Starting point is 00:40:45 Do you know? I can minimize hurting people if I stay here. Aww. But are you not hurting yourself by staying alone? It's better that way. It's for the better of many. Do you happen to know of any other creatures that live here? Like perhaps a wormling?
Starting point is 00:41:03 Hmm. Maybe somewhere else. I always stay right here. Okay, my question is to you guys. Gumbo was trying to follow where Rhyne Sue went and it brought us here. Correct. And Rhyne Sue's not here.
Starting point is 00:41:14 Correct. And this guy didn't see Rhyne Sue. Correct. Is Rhyne Sue still underground? You did not see Rhyne Sue when you came through the passageway. Can I perceive if there are any like tools or anything like that in this area? Similar to the guarding tools in the last area um no i think
Starting point is 00:41:30 it's just the skulls right correct table the skulls everything else you know benches shrubbery picnic table i try something oh i'm sorry there is something i forgot oh on top of the picnic table here there's a small stack of like like, little portrait drawings. Uh, Darkcrest, did you make those little portrait drawings over there? He looks at them and says, I prefer not to think about them. Are those the skulls? Yes. Oh, you've drawn all the people you've killed? Yes.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Um, who can we look at? He does not look very happy about this. Oh. I go look at the little portrait drawings and I see the kind of folks that he killed. Yeah, it's just like an assortment of different people. Not like any one specific class or race or anything. It's just
Starting point is 00:42:13 all different kinds. How good is the art? How good is it? It's pretty crudely drawing. Okay. These look great. Dark Crest. Yeah, you're so talented. Make a deception check. Gum Gum thinks they are really good, for the record. Wow. He doesn't have to actually deceive you.
Starting point is 00:42:28 Those are really good. 13. Oh, wait. Am I at disadvantage? Yeah. 8. Oh, you're just saying that. No, I want to put one on my refrigerator.
Starting point is 00:42:38 What's the fantasy refrigerator? Icebox. A crest of your fireplace. Yes. Mantle. Well, I don't know if I want to put that in there. How big. A crest of your fireplace. Yes. Mantle. Well, I don't know if I want to put that in there. How big is the mound of skulls? We'll say it's about five or six feet tall.
Starting point is 00:42:52 Oh, big. Skulls? Could I cast Gust on the pile of skulls? Sure. You create a small blast of air capable of moving, I guess it's not big enough for this, no more than five pounds. Yeah, it might dislodge a couple of skulls and move them around, but it's not going to get rid of the entire pile.
Starting point is 00:43:08 Instead of that, Gumbo and I approach the skull pile and try to push it all aside to see if there might be something underneath it all. I thought we did that already. I check to see if there's skulls all the way down. I want to see if the ground underneath the skulls perhaps is any sign of anything. Make a perception check.
Starting point is 00:43:23 I'm looking for a crystal skull. I'm trying to take back an investigation check because you're actively like looking here i hope you never find the crystal skull 17 or a 2 so 17 uh no it's just like ground under there you know the grass is a little yellowed under there maybe okay from being under the skull have to go to all four quadrants basically sorry for that word uh to like essentially like me yeah dark crest asks well you've helped me feel better about what's happening here You know we're friends now, right? Yeah Well friends help each other right like you help me and maybe I can help you Etc from a distance if you prefer kind of trust her I scratches back. Oh, okay He Kind of tries to reach. I scratch his back. Oh, okay. He was trying to figure out how to scratch his back.
Starting point is 00:44:07 Just his leg starts twitching. Oh, that's nice. Well, maybe I can help you. It looks like you're trying to proceed, right? You're trying to move on to the next area? Yeah, I was trying to see the whole area. Yeah, something like that. He says, maybe I can try to use my breath to punch a hole through the cloud for you to move on to the next area.
Starting point is 00:44:27 Does fire make holes in these clouds? His breath really wasn't fiery. It was kind of like a yellow wave. Yeah, like you just said, a meatball sub. Spicy, not fire, but spicy. Pungent, garlicky. Yeah, garlicky, yeah. He gets off the bench, moves over kind of by the blue cloud heading to the south,
Starting point is 00:44:45 inhales, and lets out a big breath. It punches a hole through the blue cloud. He said, oh, well, look at that. You could have done that any time. I give him a pat on the back. I hand him my toothbrush and then I walk through. He says, oh, thank you. I'm going to draw all of you.
Starting point is 00:45:02 And he goes over to the bench and picks up some paper. Maybe don't draw it. It seems like a bad omen somewhat. I'm going to do my best work ever. Thank you. Mud walks through the hole. Bye-bye, Dark Crest. I'll never forget you.
Starting point is 00:45:17 Mark follows Mud. And follows. Okay. Who's that guy? Kyborg, you follow as well? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I went through. Okay.
Starting point is 00:45:25 A deafening chime rings out overhead. Everyone make a charisma saving throw. 23. And am I at disadvantage on this now? No, you're at disadvantage on ability checks. I do my bardic inspiration to add a d10 to everyone's rolls. Yeah, is it a d10? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Oh, thank you. So there's a bonus action, a creature within 60 feet that can hear you creature yeah a creature uh well i'll give it to kyborg and i'll do another one for mud oh you can cast it 18 so you can use it i have four per short rest yeah this is an unusual i just want to point out this is an unusual ability because this is one of the rare abilities you can add after you see the roll but before knowing the outcome lots of times i say you can't do that because you already rolled. This is one where you can actually do it after the roll. So it's intended almost like when you see a bad roll to be like,
Starting point is 00:46:10 oh, here, let me help you out with that. Would she be able to do it to two different people? Yeah, could I do it twice in a row? If she rolled two of it? It's supposed to be a bonus action. Yeah, that's what I'm asking. Which would be typically one a round. Okay.
Starting point is 00:46:20 So I would say pick one. I'll give it to Kyborg. Sorry, guys. But he's two down. All right. So then you can roll. I'll give it to Kyborg. Sorry, guys. But he's two down. All right. So then you can roll a D10 and add that Kyborg. Yeah. I rolled a nine and then I rolled a nine.
Starting point is 00:46:31 Oh, I see. So it's 18, right? Yeah. I'm going to re-roll it. You inspiration-ing? Yeah, I'm inspiration-ing. Eight. I'm a 23.
Starting point is 00:46:38 Kyborg's an 18. And then Mud, I guess, is a nine. No. An eight. Eight. And Gum-Gum's a 13. 13. Okay.
Starting point is 00:46:45 Everyone except for Bart takes a level of exhaustion. An eight. Eight. And gum gums are 13. Okay. Everyone except for Bart takes a level of exhaustion. Oh, man. Even Kyborg? Even Kyborg. What? I just passed it. So what are you now? You're now disadvantaged on attack rolls and saving throws.
Starting point is 00:46:58 We not. You better start doing better, Kyborg. I rolled an 18. So I guess you need a 20 or higher, it seems like. Maybe it's increasing in difficulty as we progress. Yeah. So this corner of the courtyard, again, looks similar. More wooden benches, shrubbery, and this time an even bigger gazebo than before.
Starting point is 00:47:15 A corner of the fountain, and the picnic table in this corner has a massive mound of gold on it. I go take a nap on the mound of gold. I'm so exhausted. And there's also a figure sitting on a bench under the gazebo. Does any sort of healing potions or spells cure exhaustion? I believe there are some you can undo exhaustion with. Okay. But other than that, it's a long rest.
Starting point is 00:47:41 What about cure wounds? I don't think so. Cure wounds is just hit points. Yeah, it has to long rest. What about Cure Wounds? I don't think so. Cure Wounds is just hit points. Yeah, it has to call out status effects. Right. It has to specifically say it undoes exhaustion. Yeah, typically it's a long rest, but I believe there are some potions
Starting point is 00:47:53 and some magic spells that can undo exhaustion, but it has to specifically say that it does exhaustion. Did we go and approach the figure? Yeah, Mud makes a big sigh. It just goes, Hello, my name is Mud. Do you like riddles? Do you breed garlic bread? What's your deal? I'm good.
Starting point is 00:48:11 On the bench is an adult moonstone dragon. She regards you and says, Well, hello. Pleasure to meet you. And she like nods her head in your direction. And as she does so, you see that she has a blue key on a silver chain hanging around her neck. She speaking draconic?
Starting point is 00:48:30 No, she's speaking common at this point. Y'all got this under control. I'm going to nap here. Have we seen any other keys like ever like this? Not that you can recall. No. I don't know if I mentioned it. The pile of gold, of treasure. I should't know if I mentioned it. The pile of...
Starting point is 00:48:45 Gold. Of treasure. I should call it a pile of treasure. It's actually not just gold. It's like a small mound of riches. Seems to be glowing with like blue lights twinkling. Does it seem like we could approach her safely? Yeah, she doesn't seem hostile to you.
Starting point is 00:48:58 What are you doing here? I'm collecting. Oh, what are you collecting? Treasures? Is that your treasure? I collect other people's treasures. Oh. Oh, what are you collecting? Treasures? Is that your treasure? I collect other people's treasures. Oh. Oh, so you're a thief.
Starting point is 00:49:09 No, heavens no. People like to trade things sometimes. Oh. Oh, trade. What you trade for? I like to acquire things that people value. Sorry, I'll clarify. What do you trade?
Starting point is 00:49:22 That's open to discussion. And she gestures over to the treasure on the picnic table. Yeah, it's really pretty. Cyborg's snoring on it, by the way. The key around your neck, what is that? What's that for? It's very beautiful. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:49:38 This is a personal treasure of mine. Personal treasure? What is it open? That which is locked. Interesting. What would one have to do to take that off your hands? Or should I say neck? Oh, this?
Starting point is 00:49:52 Hmm. I don't know. What does a young halfling like you value? Gum-Gum's life. Don't trade that. No, do it, do it. I could trade it for your friend. She seems very into this now.
Starting point is 00:50:06 She's eyeing up gum gum. My friend here is not for sale, madam. Or trade. Or trade. I mean, it depends how long you want it for. I'll be your friend. Forever? Yeah, I'm always friends forever. Unless you're mean. Your
Starting point is 00:50:22 concept of forever is so cute. I don't know what that means. I'll give you a jar and jump and jab if you let us leave. Get the key. Get the key. Guy with the key. Leave with the key. You're jumping, Jav?
Starting point is 00:50:35 Yeah. I assume you're holding it out, like, up at her. Yeah, while laying down. I'm still, like, my eyes are closed. So you're really laying on the treasure? Yes. Yeah, I'm exhausted. I'm level three exhausted.
Starting point is 00:50:46 Oh, right. She looks at it and then like regards you, Kyborg. I'm sure you have something you value more than that. What about this instrument of illusions that I have? That's fine. It's a wondrous item. It's no half orc wizard. I don't think she's going to let us go until we sacrifice something.
Starting point is 00:51:04 I mean, using the instrument of illusions, you could create your own half-orc wizard for yourself anytime you want. Ugh. I can already create illusions anytime I want anyway. What do I need an instrument for? You want one of my favorite things? What are your favorite things, my pet?
Starting point is 00:51:22 Oh. Gross. Gum-Gum reluctantly pulls around and holds up his rat blanket cape. Oh, wow, that is actually pretty important. Whoa, Gum-Gum, are you sure about that? No. It's so important to him. Look at the tears in his eyes.
Starting point is 00:51:38 It's my magic cape. What's magic about it? It just is magic. That's how magic works. Love in every scene. Yeah. That's how magic works. Love in every scene. Yeah. It's made of rat.
Starting point is 00:51:50 Where did you get this again? It was early. I got it from whenever we were exploring the dinosaur area. No, the dinosaur area. And I found it. I think there's a campsite, and I found it. And it was like, I think it was just a blanket. And I made it a cape. Right.
Starting point is 00:52:05 As you're saying this, you know, Kyborg's talking to you and you realize that Kyborg is also now glowing blue on top of the mound of treasure. I'm a smurf! That's not good. I like to think that you're like sleep drunk. You're like, bro, I'm a smurf! I don't care why.
Starting point is 00:52:20 I'm a dark elf now. Then Murr, you know, moves her head close in to the cloak and begins smelling it. Takes a big, like, inhale. It smells good, doesn't it? That'll do. Place it on the pile. And now the key.
Starting point is 00:52:36 Oh, tuck me in. Tuck me in. And what will everyone else be giving me? Oh, dang it. Oh, yeah. I thought it was one for one, lady. No, it's value for value. I have this longbow.
Starting point is 00:52:48 It was my first longbow that I used in my adventuring. I'm not giving the longbow to Krystalyn. I'm going to give the longbow. I know, but the longbow of triumph. No, it's a different longbow.
Starting point is 00:52:56 It's the other longbow. It's the longbow that I've had for the longest. It's my longest bow. Oh, well, I just deserve that. Go ahead and put it on the pile. What? I just put it on top of myself.
Starting point is 00:53:08 I'm still sleeping on this pile of treasure. You should just give it to me. I mean, that obviously was intended for me. If you say so. Can I have that key? She looks at you laying on the pile there with your bow and with Gum-Gum's blanket. Hmm. Trade accepted. Okay, so she
Starting point is 00:53:28 gives the key. Next. Ah! Everyone must give. Alright, Bart. Sorry, I cut you off earlier. Go ahead. Um, I don't know if I have anything that she's gonna want. Gum-Gum. Um, what if I, if the thing that I'm offering you is a kiss from Gum-Gum?
Starting point is 00:53:44 You don't own that, though. I'll get it. Well, I'll take that. Okay. What about a kiss from me? And he snaps his suspenders of haggling. Oh, so that gives you advantage on what, like a persuasion check? Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:54:01 Go ahead and roll it. That is a 17 and a 18. 18. That's intriguing, but let's sweeten the deal a little. Uh? All of your future kisses are mine. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 00:54:23 Uh. From now on, all of your kisses belong to Lin-mer. What if I'm not physically near you, though? You can only give them to me. They are all mine to do with as I please. Ah. That's a bridge too far, my lady. It seems so arbitrary, but also creepy as hell.
Starting point is 00:54:45 Very creepy. And also, that is a commitment. You're getting married right now, Bart. Apparently. Could I instead... What about a song? A special song. I like how she wanted all of my kisses forever,
Starting point is 00:54:58 but maybe a song instead. Give her rights to your song. I was saying, you composed for me. What if I wrote you, Lin Mare, a song? And you can collect all royalties from it. Personalized for you. You could record it and everything.
Starting point is 00:55:12 I find music tiring. Ah, dang it. Make her sleep. No, don't do that. There are things I could cast on her, but I don't know if we want to do that. I don't know if I want to cross that bridge. Alright, alright, alright. What about my wand of magic detection? There are things I could cast on her, but I don't know if we want to do that. Yeah, I don't know if I want to cross that bridge. All right, all right, all right. What about my wand of magic detection?
Starting point is 00:55:29 I think that could come pretty in handy for you. You use that every episode, pretty much. Every day. That's what we call our days. It's important to you. Very. It's important to our team. It's very, very important to know when magic lies ahead.
Starting point is 00:55:45 Keeps us safe. The wand and two kisses. You got it. Hershey or... Hands over the wand. I guess I remove it from my inventory. Yes. Do I have to roll anything for the kisses?
Starting point is 00:56:00 No, she extends her right cheek to you. And then she turns her head for the left cheek. Jeez, that's not... For the audience, Micah is not putting any foley right now. That's all real. That also tickled the inside of my lip. He puckered. European style.
Starting point is 00:56:19 Lin-Mir says... Magnificent. Magnifique. And for the final one. She turns her attention to mud. What of your friend there? She looks at Gumbo. You can jump off a cliff right now.
Starting point is 00:56:32 Over my dead body. He'll go so well with your friend. She looks at Kyborg. It's hard to enjoy a badger when you're dead. Oh, you can find out very quickly if you like yeah let's go no i have a proposal for my trade congratulations kiss exclusivity how about i give you a piece of my soul. Oh my god. Ooh. She, uh, seems very intrigued. Go on. You get a piece of my soul. It's for you for forever. You get the
Starting point is 00:57:10 part of it that is for you to deal with as you wish. Hmm. That's an intriguing offer. What part of your soul? Uh, let's call it a percentage. What percentage? Ten percent of my soul. Wow. Hmm. That's a pretty good offer, lady. That's a lot. That's a pretty good offer. Your soul, you only got one of them. What percentage? 10% of my soul.
Starting point is 00:57:26 That's a pretty good offer, lady. That's a lot. That's a pretty good offer. Your soul, you only got one of them. Hmm. How about 30%? Oh, my goodness. It's like a Shark Tank deal.
Starting point is 00:57:36 25. Deal. All right. A quarter of your soul. You got the quarter of my soul. She seems very, very happy about this, actually. Okay. I will trade you the key.
Starting point is 00:57:52 And she lowers her head and the necklace slides off from around her neck and lands at your feet, Bart. Bart picks it up. I'm done with you three. You can leave. Three. But Kaibar, what'd you do? They think it's I'm the gift. No, no, the bow is the deal, not me.
Starting point is 00:58:04 Silence, treasure. No, no. The bow was the deal. Not me. Silence. Treasure. No. Stop it. I picture this like Melisandre from Game of Thrones. A bit. A bit. He was not part of the deal agreed upon, if I recall correctly. Oh, he offered himself willingly.
Starting point is 00:58:22 Look at him laying there on the treasure. I get off the treasure ship. No, no, no. No, I gave you the bow. Treasure stays on the picnic table I get off the treasure ship. No, no, no. No, I gave you the bow. Treasure stays on the picnic table. You said bow offer accepted. You get my special bow. No kyborgs. Bart casts invisibility on kyborg.
Starting point is 00:58:35 Cyber Monday's over. You cast invisibility on kyborg. Yes. And when you look around pleased with yourself, Lin-Mur is no longer there. What? Is kyborg? You hear a disembodied voice say,
Starting point is 00:58:46 Parlor tricks are so fun, aren't they? I don't like this lady. Yeah, this is creepy. Although I'm a little turned on. With the removal of the key, has there been any sign of anything like maybe in the blue clouds to put it in? No. Or anything
Starting point is 00:59:06 with a lock nearby that we could see. You hear a disembodied voice say, Kyborg, you can give me all your kisses. Hey, Lin-Manuel, where do we use the bloody key? Oh, well, it sounds to me like the deal is being
Starting point is 00:59:20 renegotiated. No, you said it was for something. What's it for? Is treasure staying or is treasure leaving? A little more tell me about yourself. Maybe this will work out. You know, how does she look? Well, you can trade me something if you want your friend back.
Starting point is 00:59:40 What do you have in mind for this trade? Here you go. This is what a moonstone dragon looks like. Oh, she's hot. Not really cat works type. It's a dragon. I do speak Draconic, but, you know. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:59:52 You could give me that. My ability to speak Draconic? No, it's one of my favorite languages. It's so grating when it comes from your mouth. Yeah. You don't want it. That's what's going to be around you 24-7 if you keep them. I have something.
Starting point is 01:00:10 Go on. Another 25% of your soul. I will give you something that's very important to me that has been with me for a very long time. I will give you my ability to turn into a camel, the first animal I learned to turn into. Oh, my God. You don't see it. She's thinking about it, though. She pops back into form. to turn into a camel, the first animal I learned to turn into. Oh, my God. Hmm.
Starting point is 01:00:26 You don't see it. She's thinking about it, though. She pops back into form. You can once again see Lin-Mir. It's part of my history. I do enjoy history. You would know that, considering you have a quarter. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:39 I'll counter your offer. How about a re-gift from the treasure? Pardon? How about he gives me a gift? I gift you a gift? Is that what's being offered? Explain what you mean. I know your friend has been blessed with a gift.
Starting point is 01:00:54 He could give it to me instead. What gift? What gift do you have? I don't know. Gift of the chromatic dragon? Absolutely not. Or my dead body. I will roll for initiative.
Starting point is 01:01:04 You want to take on this dragon? With three levels of exhaustion? Absolutely not. Over my dead body. I will roll for initiative. You want to take on this dragon? With three levels of exhaustion. I don't have to be so fearsome looking. She begins transforming in front of your eyes into a very shapely elf. Ah! How many kisses did you want? All of them.
Starting point is 01:01:23 What does that entail? So say, like, I leave here, right? Five years down the road, meet somebody, you know. Going for the first kiss. The night is going well. We touch hands while watching a projection. Hand. Hand.
Starting point is 01:01:36 I only have the one hand. We touch hand. And then I go in for the kiss. Then what happens, Lin-Mir? It's mine. How does that, so then does it land on their face or do you suddenly appear and then you get the kiss yeah like do you swoop in or yeah
Starting point is 01:01:49 I guess time will tell won't it I feel like we're not leaving this place until you give are you gonna get are you a blue elf because you're you know this is cool if you are I'm into that it's difficult to place because she begins transforming seemingly randomly between every iteration of possible elves.
Starting point is 01:02:07 I say you go for it, my dude. I mean, she's pretty hot, you know? I say go for it. You might not find somebody else. I mean, you're not wrong. Okay. Gum gum, guys, I'm going to leave for some kisses here. No, I'm just like.
Starting point is 01:02:22 I don't think we're leaving without something from you. Yeah. I don't know if you want to give up love. It's just kisses. I'm just like... I don't think we're leaving without something from you. Yeah. I don't know if you want to give up love. It's just kisses. I'm not asking for his love. I'm just asking for his kisses. Kisses.
Starting point is 01:02:34 Could also mean Hershey kisses. Oh, yeah, yeah. I do have Hershey kisses in my inventory. Like doll hairs. Yeah, yeah, there you go. We're going to be here for forever if you don't play this game. What if we actually meet someone that Kyborg falls in with and you deal with that consequences later? We're stuck in this blue cloud realm. It's gonna be on the treasure and you have to deal with this Take away my ability to fart. It's one of my most
Starting point is 01:03:00 If you get by if you take that for me, I'm a fraction of the man I was before. How about your barrel rolls? Give the kisses. Kisses are barrel rolls. Kisses are barrel rolls. Barrel rolls are side to side, right? Yeah. She's saying it in the context that you use it. Guys, I don't know what to do.
Starting point is 01:03:20 I mean, here's the thing. This is all fantasy, right? It's not real. But, you know, anything else that you could possibly want Is there anything else on the table that you're interested in? Just for her to tell us what the key does, right? Do you need to come for me or do you need Kaiborg? Well now I'm kind of invested in this deal.
Starting point is 01:03:36 She looks at Kaiborg. Well, okay, it depends. Kaiborg, maybe you should stop flexing. Maybe that'll get her off your scent. Oh, see, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just imagining that. Are you going to be like, what form are you going to be in when you get my kisses? You be pretty, pretty, pretty lady? Yes.
Starting point is 01:03:54 Half my kisses? No. All the kisses? All. Yeah, sure. Take all my kisses. Splendid. And once again, where's the bloody key go to?
Starting point is 01:04:03 I'm done with you four. For now. Not K-Book with you four. For now. Not game work. For now. For now. She gestures off to the wall to the west. Simply walk that way. And that's where the key goes?
Starting point is 01:04:15 It will open a path for you. Okay, let's walk to the wall. Yeah, I leave before I get... Yeah, you begin walking towards the wall. And as you approach it, the blue cloud like widens up and opens a passageway for you all to pass through. What about the key? You still have the key. I do, yes.
Starting point is 01:04:30 It's the key, from a metagaming perspective, it's the key that creates the passageway that allows you to leave. So we don't have to physically unlock anything? Just having it does it? Correct. You can think of it as looking like a key. It's a fob. Oh.
Starting point is 01:04:42 I like how you probably didn't have to do that deal. We could have just tried to walk through and this would have happened. I don't know. It might have resulted in combat with this very magically powerful creature. It is an incredibly powerful creature. I got the vibe. I didn't want my wand of magic to touch it. Be a hot shapeshifter.
Starting point is 01:04:58 Guess I got a new life. Do you want to test this? Absolutely. Do you want to kiss Gumbo? Oh, you can send him that photo if you want, Ben. Yeah, I'll take that. It's a win. It? Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to kiss Gumbo? Oh, you can send him that photo if you want, Ben. Yeah, I'll take that. It's a win to win. It's a win to win, boys.
Starting point is 01:05:11 Put that with the, what's the beast called? Oh, the Oryx? Oryx. Yeah, new fanfic right there. I pick up Gumbo and put it towards Kyber's face. Yeah, once you make it safely on the other side, I try to go in for a Gumbo kiss. What? You're trying to kiss gumbo? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:26 I want to test what happens. Yeah, let's see what happens. I miss my wife. Let's kick these tires. I miss Lynn Murr. My wife. You go to kiss gumbo, and as you get close and pucker your lips, gumbo's face transforms into Lynn Murr's, and she puckers out and steals the kiss very quickly.
Starting point is 01:05:42 Oh, hey, what's up, Lynn Murr? Long time no see. You just kissed that animal on the mouth. Well, that was fast. Thank you. I was just excited to see you. I'm very excited about our new partnership. I hope you bring this up like 20 episodes from now.
Starting point is 01:05:56 Kyberg's going to want to kiss everything, and then it's going to be Lindbergh. The weirdest telephone ever. I hope you get a recurring voice actress for Lin Burr. No, you need to not. No, we'll just fully a kiss sound. That's it. Yep.
Starting point is 01:06:09 All right. You all pass through the wall to the west, and a deafening chime rings out overhead. Dang it. Everyone make a charisma saving throw. Okay. Before I do, I want to use my bolstering magic on myself. Could I also, like, pat my butt as I walk through? Sure.
Starting point is 01:06:23 Why not? Okay. I rolled a 20. we want to pat me nice i can only do one i have one more it's only a d3 but i can give it i have another bardic more bardic inspiration if you're comfortable i'll give you my d3 roll first and then we'll see what happens okay all right uh it's not gonna be enough because this thing's gonna be like the highest level oh god i rolled a two and then i'm at disadvantage i rolled a one wow forget it don't think i can save it save it so i have a 15 i'll take it because if
Starting point is 01:06:50 you have one i could maybe get above 20 could i give a bardic inspiration to gum gum sure so you roll a d10 to add to that i'm at 13 at least i got a hot dragon wife before i died 23 so just for clarity can i get everyone to say what their final rolls are after everything? One. 23. 20. 13. All right.
Starting point is 01:07:10 Everyone go ahead and take one level of exhaustion. Even me with my 20? Even you with your 20. It was escalating. This is going to be inevitable. I'm so sorry. How do you do that? Conditions.
Starting point is 01:07:19 Under conditions on D&D Beyond, you should see exhaustion. I now have disadvantage on attack rolls and saving throws. Kyborg now has his hit point maximum halved. Good lord. Does that mean that I take 53 points of damage? It's not that you take the damage, it's your maximum hit points are halved. But to make that occur on
Starting point is 01:07:38 his character sheet, he's going to damage. Oh, override max HP. I'm going to switch it to was that 62? Yeah. So when you enable the exhaustion in D&D Beyond, it takes care of all the math and the behind the scenes stuff. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:07:54 So this corner of the courtyard looks different from the rest. Let me guess. Big, big gazebo. No. There are wooden benches, shrubbery in the corner of a fountain, but there's also a wooden stage beneath a tall tree and a statue. Statue is where? On the stage? No, kind of off to the side of the stage.
Starting point is 01:08:10 Statue is what? The statue's shimmering brilliantly. It looks to be made of crystal. It's a huge statue of a dragon. Does this dragon look familiar? Think about Lin-Manuel. I should call her. No, it does not look familiar. Do you go try to kiss the statue?
Starting point is 01:08:24 Are the benches in front of the stage like they would be an audience? The benches are off to the side, like along the western and southern portion of the shrubs. Well, Mud recognizes the stage and just looks at Bart. Yeah. I just associate you with stages. There's no chance that the dragon, the statue, is either Estream, Shizu, or Winabe? No. You do not believe you have seen whatever the statue is depicting in the past.
Starting point is 01:08:51 Is there anything, like, written on the statue or on the stage or anything? Make an investigation check. This will go well. Minus one. Wow. Some rules this episode are so bad. As Gum-Gum walks back towards the other area we were in. No, you don't notice anything out of the ordinary.
Starting point is 01:09:10 It's a statue and a stage. Mud gets on the stage. You get up on the stage and you notice that when you're standing on it, there's like fallen leaves and some dull dragon scales on the stage. Bart sits in the audience. Well, there's, oh, it's on the floor? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:09:24 Anything happen? Not that you can tell. And there's no... Oh, it's on the floor? Yeah. Okay. Anything happen? Not that you can tell. And there's no creature around, is there? Make a perception check. I'm on a stage. I'm taking... I'm looking around, too. And I have to take disadvantage, right?
Starting point is 01:09:34 Yeah, because it's ability, yeah. Okay. Well, it's going to be an 11. Mine is 14. No, you don't notice any creatures around. Is there any stuff on the picnic table thing? Benches. Bench?
Starting point is 01:09:46 No, there is no picnic table here. Is there any, like, any props, any things, any gimmicky things? Gimmicky things? You know, like a pile of treasure. A pile of stones. You know? A bunch of gardening crud. No, there's nothing that you can see.
Starting point is 01:10:01 Okay. Is the bench blue and glowing, haunted in any way? I can pull out Boomba and see if there's magic. No, the bench is not glowing or anything. Alright, I lay on the bench. You want to resolve, detect magic, or what is it just called? Yeah, it's basically detect magic. So you pull out Boomba
Starting point is 01:10:17 and you begin focusing. I was waiting for it. I need to hear the gum gum channeling. It's like Marge. You actually do detect very strong transmutation magic. Where? Coming from the statue.
Starting point is 01:10:36 I think that statue was transformed. Maybe it's a real dragon. Do we maybe have to free it? The statue begins moving. You notice that its eyes open and the wings flex out. Oh, it's one of those street performers. And it looks at you all, sees you, and then begins blinking. Overhead, the day turns to night.
Starting point is 01:10:57 And the courtyard here is filled with dancing lights. And the fountain explodes to life, spraying liquid everywhere. Everyone make a dexterity saving throw. That's disadvantage for me and Kyborg. And me. Are you on level two? I'm on three. Three, I mean. But I also have advantage on that, so that just evens out. Evens out. So,
Starting point is 01:11:17 18 for Bart. 11. 18. Oh, 7. So, 7 for Mud. Disadvantage sucks. 11 for Kyborg, 18 for gum gum, and 18 for Bart. Correct. Okay. Some of the liquid lands on kyborg and mud from the fountain. And y'all take a little bit of damage from that.
Starting point is 01:11:38 Hopefully it doesn't land on your arm. It's going to be a lot. I'm just scrolling high. I touched it and nothing happened to me. When did you touch it? Oh, it was on your hand. The first one. You were lucky.
Starting point is 01:11:48 Both of you take 17 points of damage. That's not good for me. The liquid somehow at the same time feels like it's burning, it's freezing, and it's just like creating like electrical feelings all up and down you as it hits you. Guys, it's icy hot. Be careful. Can I cast Cure cure wounds on kyborg sure thank you how bad are you if we're looking at my overall quarter last quarter full okay i will do
Starting point is 01:12:12 it at the fifth level well keep in mind uh my hp is halved so you're gonna get 22 points of damage or healing oh you hit damage cause wounds no, you said the wrong word. Cause wounds. Thank you. The dragon, like I said, regards you. Day turns to night, and he looks at you all and says, Oh, splendid visitors. It has been a long time.
Starting point is 01:12:36 Hello, statue man. I'm Silas. What's your name? I'm Bart. I'm Gem Gem. Hello, my name is Mud.'m Bart. I'm Gum-Gum. Hello, my name is Mud. Kyborg. I roll off the bench and then I roll under the bench in case there's another splash.
Starting point is 01:12:51 Is he also a dragon? Like a statue, but... Yes, he's like a crystal dragon, correct. Silas. Yeah. It is a pleasure to meet you all. What brings you here? That's a good question.
Starting point is 01:13:05 Are you here for a song? Are you here for a performance? Always. We'll take one. Oh, it's been a long time. I've been asleep for what seems like ages, but I'm happy to sing a song and entertain all of you. Have you been put to sleep against your will,
Starting point is 01:13:23 or do you just like this? Are you just kind of hibernating on your own? Just kind of you. Have you been put to sleep against your will or do you just, do you like this? Are you just kind of hibernating on your own? Just kind of resting. When there's no one to share a song with, what's the point of being awake? There's nothing I like more than a song. Why don't you play us a ditty? What happened the last time you played a song for someone? Well, we, we all sing together. And then what happened then? They had a good time. And then they left? They're not here, so I guess so. Hey, do you have any, like, you know, like, Lin-Mirror? Is there any, like, red flags I should be aware of? I just entered a long-term commitment with her.
Starting point is 01:13:54 Oh, Lin-Mirror. Yeah. Who can't I kiss now? What a weird question. She's seeing other people, guys. Yeah. How about this? I cast Infibulous Blessing and mold the earth to create little seats for us.
Starting point is 01:14:12 Oh, Silas looks impressed. That's a neat little spell. I think so, too. You create, I guess, seats in front of the stage? Yeah. Okay. Silas says, Splendid! He stretches a little bit, lets his neck neck out and, you know, turns it side to side.
Starting point is 01:14:27 Then unfurls his wings and roars. Roar! A brilliant light shoots out in all directions, illuminating the courtyard with dancing lights. They call me Silas, dragging a dance in Silas, hard romancing Silas shimmering a thousand Ah, what's the line? A thousand lightning Ah, yes, shimmering a thousand lightning My name is Silas crystal scaling
Starting point is 01:14:58 Silas breath scintillating Silas singing from here to From here to Where am I singing from here to, from here to, where am I singing from here to again? Lightning. No, we used that one already. Is there any place, lands that we've been to that ends with ing?
Starting point is 01:15:16 Ing? Erbling? Erbling. Erbling. Yeah. Oh, I've never been there. I'll have to visit. Sounds great.
Starting point is 01:15:23 You simply can't stop those claws of applause or the dropping of draconic jaws. You know when Silas comes to town, he's gonna show you how to brown.
Starting point is 01:15:40 Scars. Drown. He furrows his brow and you bark. It's a skill some of us need. Dance around. Applause. Dance around. Okay.
Starting point is 01:15:49 Because he's silent, serpent of scanning, silent soul enchanting, silent voice that roars like. Enchanting. Ah, you can't rhyme enchanting with enchanting. Uh, uh, uh, ranting. Chris is furiously Googling rhyming dictionaries. enchanting. Uh, uh, uh, ranting. Uh. Chris is furiously googling rhyming dictionaries. Decanting. Decanting. Chanting. Cool. Enchanting with chanting.
Starting point is 01:16:13 That's a different word. That's weak. With a voice that roars like chanting. Hmm. A voice that roars like Outstanding. Outstanding. Voice that roars like outstanding. Here, let's try it again. Because he's silent, serpent is scatting, silent, soul enchanting.
Starting point is 01:16:36 Silent voice that roars like everlasting. Everlasting. Yeah, you keep, he just roars forever. This is the riddle. This is the riddle. It's rhyme and we are failing. Everlasting? Yeah, you keep, it just roars forever. This is the riddle. This is the riddle. It's rhyme and we are failing. Roars like... It's on the tip of my tongue. What was it? Birds flapping.
Starting point is 01:16:54 Birds flapping. Uh, roars like, uh... Lions mating. Oh! Ah, lions mating. That's it. Let's bring it home, everybody. They call me
Starting point is 01:17:12 Silas. Silas. Okay, now that we know the words, let's all sing it together. Alright, a one, and a two, and a one, two, three. They call me Silas. Silas.
Starting point is 01:17:31 Make a performance check. All of us? Bart, that was your line. I'm still under the bench, by the way. I'm waiting for the oil spill thing to happen again. 14, right? I don't know if I can roll three times because oil spill thing to happen again. 14, right? 14. I don't know if I can roll three times because I got the same one twice. Nah. 14.
Starting point is 01:17:49 My name is Silas Christmas Lady. Silas Christmas Lady. Silas Christmas Lady. Herbling. Whose line was that? That was Gum Gum. Gum Gum. I think it was Gum Gum. I think it was a combination of both.
Starting point is 01:18:05 I said herb bloom and then you went herb bling. Yeah, gum gum roll a performance check. This is disadvantage. Silas kind of furrows his nose a little bit. We can do better. We'll get it. Don't worry. We'll work on it. You simply can't stop those claws of applause.
Starting point is 01:18:24 Oh, the dropping arms are gonna just. You know when Silas comes to town. He's gonna show you how to dance around. Make a performance check. Not frown. Ooh, it's gonna be a six. It's our first run through Silas. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:47 It'll be better on the day. We've had a long day. Yeah. Because he's Silas, serving the scatting, Silas, so enchanting, Silas,
Starting point is 01:18:56 the voice that roars like a lion's mating. It was you, wasn't it, Bart? Make a performance check. This might be the dumbest point of our campaign. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:04 No, this is gold. Yeah, yeah, Micah's right. I said the exact same thing, Micah. It a performance check. This might be the dumbest point of our campaign. Yeah. No, this is gold. Yeah, Micah's right. I was saying the exact same thing, Micah. It's totally gold. All right, let's take it home. They call me Silas. As searing beams of starlight shoot across the sky, a glittering array of sparks descend upon the courtyard
Starting point is 01:19:22 like twinkling snowfall. With glistening tears in his eye, Silas turns to you all. That took my breath away. Me too. I make a rose and throw it to stage. Oh, beautiful. Through the once dormant central fountain showers till I spring a rainbow of chromatic fluid into the air. And Krakow bolts a blue light and surge from the chromatic fountain,
Starting point is 01:19:43 striking each of you in your chest. You each feel your lungs being filled with a fresh breath of air as if after a long sigh of relief. Everyone can take a long rest. Oh, thank God. Yay, wow. Can I lift exhaustion? I believe long rest does lift exhaustion.
Starting point is 01:19:56 It does do that. I think I have to just select it. Yeah. In a flash, you all arrive back outside the temple of Sora. Fading rays of sunlight are dipping behind the Tatoran horizon. Boom! The brilliant blue monolith towering before you fades into a cloud and hovering in the air is a tear-shaped sapphire gemstone. It seems to be calling to you Bart. Uh, Bart goes to reach out for it. It also kind of hovers over and floats towards you and as you hold it in your hand you don't notice any tear-shaped cavities appearing
Starting point is 01:20:26 on your person, like it did for Kyborg or Mud. Instead, your musician's eye notices the shape of the gemstone is a perfect fit and size for something you've been missing all along. A pick? A plectrum. A guitar pick. You just strum your lute.
Starting point is 01:20:41 The gemstone wraps around your thumb perfectly, and you feel an influx of vitality fill your body from head to toe. But you feel a tingling sensation tickle the nape of your neck. The sky grows dim and darkness cascades across the temple. You all hear something you'd hope never to hear again. The cry of the Shadow Dragon. Oh, I thought it was going to be Brink Hustler. Also another sound we don't want to hear again. That's it for this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
Starting point is 01:21:18 Wow. All right, everybody. What a fun episode. One more round of Silas. His name is Silas. His name is Silas. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure.
Starting point is 01:21:32 Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure.
Starting point is 01:21:32 Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure.
Starting point is 01:21:33 Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure.
Starting point is 01:21:33 Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure. Silas is a true adventure.
Starting point is 01:21:45 We want to give a shout out Silas! We'll see you all next week. Please don't unsubscribe. We want to give a shout out to folks that interacted with us on social media recently. Here are some NPCs named after them in this episode. Ryan Su, the Emerald Dragon Wormling, named after at super underscore Rhino. Dark Crest, the young Topaz Dragon, named after user Julia Dark Crest. Hope I said that right.
Starting point is 01:22:04 Lin Murr, the adult MoonstoneDragon, named after at ChelseaLinMurr. Silas, the ancient CrystalDragon, named after user Sit-Stay. I also want to give a special thanks to some friends who provided voiceover for characters in this episode. The mysterious voice is BK from Achievement Hunter. Lin Murr, the adult MoonstoneDragon,
Starting point is 01:22:20 is Lindsay Washburn from Funhaus. Also, a little bit of trivia, the voice of Goddess Andi. Come back next week for another episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

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