Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Of Life & Breath - Ep. 76 - With Barted Breath
Episode Date: December 21, 2022The interns find themselves transported into the microcosm of the Breath Monolith closing in on the next Diagem. Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://li...nktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Shout out to our Voice Actors: Mysterious Voice - BK from Achievement Hunter (@BlackKrystel) Lynn-Merr the Adult Moonstone Dragon - Lindsey Washburn from Funhaus (@lindzbot_) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This is a Rooster Teeth Production.
Good day to all you dow. Glide on in to the Stinky Dragon, drink up our latest tram, the Glitz and Blitz.
It's a mixture of burrowing bling bourbon, smoked maple malt, 24 karat gold juice,
and topped with a twist of tarragon leaves.
One mouthful of this elemental moonshine,
you'll be melting down like your favorite metal.
Previously, our adventurers traveled from province to province
in search of the elders at Tatora.
First, they faced the fire in Ashiko
and found Elder Estream. Next they
were stupefied in the Tsunam province while searching for Elder Shizu. Then they surveyed
a darkened Sora province scouting for Elder Wanabe. But in the end, with a stroke of drum
luck they were struck by monolithic lightning. Latch onto a libation and proceed with this
pungent potboiler.
Gun to my head.
I don't remember anything of what we've been doing.
We were going to get the elders,
and then we're going to take them to the mountain.
To summon a dragon? A good dragon. A good dragon. To fight the bad dragon. To fight summon a dragon.
A good dragon. A good dragon.
To fight the bad dragon.
To fight the bad dragon.
Because we got shot by that bad dragon.
Bad dragon was in the shadow realm.
With Inku, the bad person, who is from a Studio Ghibli movie.
Ghibli or Ghibli?
Ghibli.
Oh, God.
Ghibli.
And then we'd gotten a drum and banged it.
Correct.
Concurrently with something else, and I think
there was lightning.
You saved a little boy's rabbit. Yeah.
Old lady from the well? Yeah.
Why was she down there? We don't know.
Did we leave her? Are we still
in touch with her? You know what's funny? Is I remember her.
Like, you've now all just said
everything we were doing, and I'm like, I don't recall almost
any of this, but the old lady in the well, I remember her.
It's been a few weeks.
Thanksgiving.
We filmed this early November and now it's almost December.
Yeah.
Pulling back the curtain for the listeners.
I think it's been four weeks since we recorded an episode.
Maybe three weeks.
Maybe three.
Yeah.
But yeah, that's why we're maybe a little hazy.
Even though I'm sure there's many people listening to this episode right after the last episode.
Right, they're like, what are they talking about?
I feel like I have to point that out because we get some people who do binge listen.
Which is great.
And I need them to know, like, why don't they remember this stuff?
It's because it's not the same for us.
We're all so old.
But like, it would align with the, we had an RTX episode that was released and then a between the tails and
then like been working on puppet videos.
That was that time period.
The delayed version of us taking a break was like,
okay.
Yeah.
So Gus is huge on Thanksgiving.
So he wanted to take ample time off cause he loves Thanksgiving and
everything it represents.
Oh,
absolutely.
Yeah.
Manifest destiny.
So where are we right now? No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't agree with that. Colonization! Manifest destiny. No!
Jesus.
So where are we right now?
As you blow into the instrument and beat the drum,
thunder roars overhead louder and louder,
and crack, a flash of lightning strikes the drum,
and boom, the drum turns a shade of deep blue
and transforms into a large sapphire monolith.
The brilliant blue tower starts crackling with energy,
and before you can take another breath,
ka-chow, bolts of blue lightning surge from the spikes,
striking each of you in your chests.
Ow!
It's a new gem.
Ow.
Hey, man.
Who's it gonna go to?
Is it gonna be Gum-Gum or Bart?
It feels good.
It's so tingly.
It's gonna go to Bart.
I want two.
I want two.
It's mine.
It's mine.
Well, who's powerful like Thanos,
who could actually handle the gems?
Me!
I have the Infinity Gauntlet. It's my... Oh, that's true. It who could actually handle the gems? I have the Infinity Gauntlet.
It's my hand.
A feminine voice echoes in your head,
one you've heard before.
It would not be wise to hold one's breath
awaiting candor's call.
Ferocious fronts that filled with fear
when faced with friends can fall.
Silver tongues for silver chains
are simply soft with swaying.
It is clear that crystal shines most bright when spotlight songs are played micah when will you learn we hate these puzzles
no i love these puzzles i just hate not typing fast enough to get all the words down i only got
spotlight songs i got Crystal songs.
There were Silver Tongues and Silver Chains.
Something about swaying. Start swaying, Kyborg.
Ah, Kyborg does the
wave. Ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah. Do the wave.
Do we recognize this? You said we recognize this voice.
Is it Andi? Do we know who it was?
Andi's the one that we met. She's the tree lady
that we met with the walrus people.
Everyone make up her wisdom check
I am the Eggman
Wisdom check coming in check Oh God, we're also
19 I got a 17 9 6 I know who Andy is mud and Bart you recognize the voice
But you can't seem to put a name to it. What are you eating?
Yeah, we're recording later than normal so if I get hungry You recognize the voice, but you can't seem to put a name to it. What are you eating? Those are really good. Velveeta. With the blueberry flavor?
Yeah.
We're recording later than normal, so if I get hungry, I'm going to be a real cranky
jerk later.
Velveeta.
Who was the deity that I met in my little dream?
That was...
Oh, she was fun.
You guys had a...
What's it called?
Banter.
Repartee.
You guys had what's it called?
Banter.
What was that? Your dream? what dream were you talking about when i when i went into when i got my my gem oh oh oh right right
right yeah you went and uh that was the water spirit amphibolus oh that's right okay what are
we what are we seeing right now we're struck by lightning we heard a voice oh what are you seeing
that's great i was wondering when it was asked what they see you look around you realize you're not in the same place you were before you're no longer
in that courtyard striking the drum and blowing on the musical instrument you realize you're
in an outdoor corridor in front of a large open gate that appears to lead into the corner of a
courtyard is this like the ethereal plane or is this like a location that we're familiar with
it's not a location you've been to before. But we're like physically there, not like
dream state. Or can we not tell?
Yeah. As far as you know. I look at my
feet. You've got feet? Okay.
Mud, show feet.
When I look at the skybox, is
it like a normal day or are we talking
like purple, oozy,
we're in some sort of alternate dimension?
Yeah, you look up and you see
blue clouds reaching as far as the eye can see.
Blue clouds, wow.
I walk through the gate.
Blue clouds.
Okay, yeah.
I'll follow.
You walk through the gate and...
Gum gum follows.
Mud walks through the gate and gum gum follows.
And yeah, you're in an outdoor courtyard, maybe for a school or a monastery.
Ooh.
Are there any other humanoids or any creatures around?
Do you walk in as well?
Yes.
Okay, Bart also walks in.
So, like I said, there's buildings surrounding the courtyard.
They're all made out of stone.
They've got tiled roof, tiled roofs, sorry.
And, yeah, in this corner or in this part of the courtyard,
you see, like, some wooden benches, some shrubbery,
a picnic table, a gazebo, a small wooden archway, and like the corner of a fountain.
There's a fountain in the center of the courtyard and like in the very center of the courtyard.
And, you know, part of it comes into the corner you all are in.
In the gazebo, you do see someone sitting under the gazebo, I should say.
Is it possible that I recognize this as the orphanage that Gum Gum and I were at?
Make a wisdom check.
15.
It does not look familiar to you.
You do not remember the orphanage looking like this.
This is way too fancy.
Kyborg also enters because I was outside.
Kyborg.
Can I approach the Mr. Belvita?
Can I approach the gazebo?
Mr. Belvita.
You caught me right as I took a bite.
Kyborg, you enter.
And as soon as you enter, the gate slams shut
and turns into
solid stone
I made a boo boo
music starts playing
what if you just stayed out there the whole time
while we did the whole quest inside
you were supposed to hold the gate open
sorry Hodor
and a deafening chime rings out overhead
everyone go ahead and make a
charisma saving throw
saving throw nat Saving throw?
Oh, no.
Oh, Nat 20 for 22.
26.
15.
One.
What?
You couldn't take it as two? Is it really a one?
Three minus two.
Wow.
Mud is for some reason repulsed by Kyborg.
Kyborg?
Yeah.
We're getting the ick from Kyborg.
We're getting the ick.
Guys, you ever have a crush on your mom?
And he pees himself a little bit.
Kyborg, go ahead and take one level of exhaustion.
You can add it to your character sheet under conditions.
Really?
Oh, wow.
This is new.
All right.
I call out to the person in the gazebo and just say,
Hello, my name is Mud.
What's your name?
You're still a little distance away.
Not too far.
Hello, my name is Mud.
What's your name?
Toby.
The figure sitting under the gazebo doesn't seem to acknowledge you.
Can I go up to them?
Yeah.
Sit down.
Yeah.
The figure is sitting on a bench
under the gazebo is it keanu reeves oh he's sad he's on a bench can i uh pull out some snacks
i'm gum gum you want some snacks yeah you do that and as you're getting closer and as you sit down
you realize that it's a young emerald dragon wormling. He looks at you, almost kind of startled,
and says, oh, hello, Gum-Gum.
I'm Rhyne-Sue.
Rhyne-Sue.
So what kind of creature was it?
A wormling.
A young emerald dragon wormling.
Did you want snacks?
I got crackers.
Elvita.
For some reason, Gum-Gum sounds creepy.
I mean, I just assume my grand rations might have crackers.
I don't know.
Is that a...
He says, I love crackers. Okay. I don't know. Is that a he says?
I love crackers.
OK, my uncle died choking on a cracker once.
You're like the energy vampire from what we do in the shadows.
Look, I'm exhausted and I'm uncharismatic.
I'm looking for a spell to make Kybert shut up.
Yeah.
Can I show the crackers and be like, so what's this place that you live?
Do you live here?
He has a slightly puzzled look on his face. It says, yeah, I what's this place that you live? Do you live here? He has a slightly
puzzled look on his face. It says, yeah, I like it here. What is it? What's here? He says, this is
just where I spend my time. Can I approach? Yeah. Hello. I don't know if you heard me earlier,
but my name is Mud. We were playing a drum and found ourselves here now. Do you know where we
are now? We were in another place and now we're here.
Just curious if you have any insight.
Ooh, that sounds confusing.
Yeah, it is.
You know what else is confusing?
What's that?
Riddles.
Do you like riddles?
No.
Bart runs over, I love riddles.
You love riddles?
As long as you say it to me really slowly.
I'm really good at riddles.
Bart just comes up with like an audio recorder
like, can you speak into this?
Yeah, can we add an audio recorder to
Bart's inventory? I like to think
since it's like in the D&D lore, it's like a
little imp or something. A little parrot.
Yeah, a little parrot. That's good.
Say it to him loudly in the ear.
He says, oh, this is going to be fun.
You breathe out, I breathe in.
You let go, I breathe out. What am I? A balloon. Oh, this is going to be fun. You breathe out. I breathe in. You let go.
I breathe out.
What am I?
A balloon.
Oh, very good.
I approach and I want to say, hey, it's Kyborg.
And I approach with my left hand.
And then I realize and then I when he reaches out with his left hand, I reach out with my right hand.
And then I give up on that really quick.
And then I go in for a really long hug.
Bart shudders.
He's not with us.
Gum Gum thinks Kyborg's dancing and starts doing the same.
Like left arm, right arm.
Do the Kyborg.
Everybody's doing it. The Emerald Dragon
Wormling is also not
intending to dance along with you, but kind of
dancing along because he's reaching his left arm out
and right arm. Could Bart cast
invisibility on Kyborg?
Oh my god. Mud conjures eight crows to swarms of crows to cover
his... To just like lift you
away and take you out of this awkward
situation. Was that
right? Balloon? Yes, very
good. Bart high fives Kyborg. He looks
at you Bart and says, your friend is very smart.
I miss and slap you in the face.
Your friend is very smart, not very...
Likeable.
Likeable, yeah.
Not very charismatic.
He grows on you, kind of like a fungus.
Okay, I've got another one.
I can see that you're very good at this, so I need to up the difficulty here.
Eh, what if you didn't?
Alive as you, but without breath.
As cold in my life as in my death.
Never a thirst, though I always drink.
Dressed in a mail, but I never clink.
What am I?
Dressed in a mail?
Is this a suit of armor?
No.
A statue?
Oh, it's a...
He's alive.
It's a...
It's like a...
Can you say it again?
Could you say it again?
Why don't you think about it a little bit first?
I don't remember it anymore.
I don't know what to think about.
Something about he's alive but doesn't breathe.
He's as cold as he is dead when he's alive.
And is in mail but doesn't clink.
Did I miss anything?
Yeah, that's pretty much the top level points.
Are you metal?
You tell me.
Doesn't clink.
It's something that's alive. But it clink. It's alive. But it's
cold. But doesn't breathe. And it's
cold.
I mean. I asked
Gumbo if he knows.
Alive but doesn't breathe.
It's cold as you are and it doesn't
clink. But it's got mail.
It's got mail. Mail. A mailbox.
Mail like his gender? Or mail as in
like. That's what I'm wondering.
Like, post office?
Could I roll for intelligence or wisdom to see if I could get a clue?
You could say no.
No.
Not yet.
Maybe later, but I don't know.
Maybe not.
Something like a plant?
That's what I'm thinking.
A tree-ish type thing.
It's cold, though.
It would be cold.
Yeah.
The, uh, Wyrmling seems to be smiling very happy that you all are, uh...
Is it snow?
Struggling.
Snow.
He says, mm, no.
Oh, ice.
Ice.
Ice.
Do-do-do-do-do-do.
Stop it.
Mm.
You're even more exhausted now.
He says, is ice alive?
I mean, it's water, which
I might argue is
You're frosty the snowman
It's not snowman, it's a
Do you think it's like cold-blooded creatures?
Do you think that would count?
A lizard, a dragon
A lizard
It doesn't breathe
I love the build of? It doesn't. A lizard. It doesn't breathe. I love the build of excitement with Gum-Gum there.
It doesn't breathe.
You guys are suggesting.
It doesn't breathe.
It doesn't breathe.
So then it's, what about like a fish?
Oh, look at your smart friend.
Ah.
I put my hands together and I do the.
Oh, metal, like scales.
A fish.
Hey.
Ooh la la. The Wyrmling seems a little frustrated.
He furrows his brow a little bit.
You're too good at this.
Shouldn't you be happy about that?
I like seeing people really use their brain and have to think about it.
You don't like me.
No, I think you won't like Gump Gump.
This Wyrmling's one of those I'm actually guys, you can tell.
He's got some very strong opinions
about the star wars uh franchise yeah everyone make a let's say a perception check 22 10 15
seven good thing you guys have me in mud today i'm rolling dad yeah barton mudd really uh
really goats in this uh episode i'm pulling my weight. I just want to point out a little more.
And Bart and Mud, you're the two who noticed this.
In addition to this gazebo and this bench where the Wyrmling is, there's also, I don't know if I said all this earlier,
there's also like a small wooden archway in the corner of the fountain.
I know I did mention that.
Just wanted to make sure I had covered all of that.
Wooden benches, shrubbery, picnic table, gazebo, archway, and a corner of the fountain.
And all this stuff is nearby him? He's sitting on a bench under the gazebo.
Okay. So he's under the gazebo. We see a corner of the fountain,
which means there's more fountain to be seen if we were to approach it.
Like, is this like shrouded in then like kind of like a fog of war type thing? Like we're not able
to see the other stuff? Yeah. So I guess another thing that I should have reemphasized there
is that after you walk through and the gate closed then you know like
blue clouds kind of formed a wall restricting you into this corner of the courtyard smurf that's why
in this corner we see the bench all that's correct and that's why you only see like a portion of the
fountain like the fountains in the center divided up into four has anything happened as we're
answering these questions correctly make another perception perception check, Bart. Ooh, 14. Nothing that you can tell.
Can I approach one of the blue clouds?
Yeah.
I just want to walk through it.
In which direction?
Like, from where you are,
you're like in the northwest corner of...
Well, so you're in the northwest corner,
so you can either go east or south.
Shoot.
Just turn a direction.
Northwest.
South.
East.
Corner. So. Southeast corner.
So the southeast corner would be where the fountain is.
Because the fountain's in the center of the courtyard. You should probably go look at the fountain.
I'm just going to go left.
So when you walked in from the northwest corner gate,
to your left would be east.
I go east.
Okay.
You walk off to the east, and like I said,
there is that wall of blue cloud there.
Do you try to walk through it?
Sure. I throw an arrow in. I just toss like a little arrow in just one of my arrows for my
will you toss an arrow and it bounces off the cloud and like pretty far goes back behind you
uh i think it's gonna shoot me back but what the heck i touched the cloud dive in yeah i i uh Yeah, I, uh, I, uh, I, uh, blue skidoo, we can too.
You dive in, like headfirst swan dive into the blue cloud.
Almost like a cartoon, like Wile E. Coyote or something.
You bounce back in the opposite direction, 10 feet away from the cloud, and you take three points of damage.
What damage is it going to take?
Beep, beep.
So we only see, you sort of corner of the fountain.
Could Bart go up to the fountain to look at it?
Yeah, before I address that real fast.
The dragon warmly sees you do that, Kyborg.
And he begins laughing uncontrollably like a little kid.
Hey, your riddles are easy.
And says, oh, you're so silly.
The only way to get through is to answer my riddles.
I'm already answering two of them.
Well, then why are you doing that, dum-dum?
No, I'm dumb-dum.
He sees dum-dum.
I'm sorry, Bart.
You said you wanted to go look at the fountain?
Yes, please.
Yeah, the fountain is like very finely crafted out of various metals and gemstones.
It's not currently spraying any water, any liquid, I should say.
The liquid in it does not appear to be water.
It's shimmering from color to color.
And it's just like inside.
It's not actually spouting, you said?
Correct.
It's like, you know how like fountains have like a big pool at the bottom and maybe like a spire in the middle
where yeah you know water or whatever liquid comes out there's no liquid coming out of it
it's just liquid in the pool around the base it's rainbow color shimmery it's shimmering yeah color
to color could i reach in yes i touch the water the liquid can i touch the liquid might be an oil
spill yeah you reach into like the base of the fountain and touch the liquid? It might be an oil spill. Yeah, you reach into the base of the fountain and touch the liquid.
It seems almost kind of slippery in your hands.
It's not an oil slick.
It's not oil, but you can tell it's definitely not water.
Does it do anything to my skin?
Does it smell any sort of way?
Shell Gas Company's been here.
BP.
Make a perception check.
21.
No, it's just kind of shimmering in Bart's hands
just like any other liquid. It just kind of
rolls down your hand and falls back
into the fountain. So, what's
another riddle? Well, don't drink from that
fountain. Anybody have a quarter?
I give Bart a coin.
What kind of coin? Silver.
Big spender. Bart
tosses it
in to the fountain. You got it. First time. That's a hard word to say tosses
Tosses it try it tosses it
We all have our troubles flips that coin
Makes a little wish is barking to share his wish no, oh he wants to die Jim
And makes a little wish.
Is Bart going to share his wish?
No.
Oh.
He wants to die, Jim.
Anything happen?
Even wishes don't come true if you share them.
It's true. You toss your silver into the fountain.
And it looks like it starts changing a color.
It becomes almost like yellowish orange.
And then bursts into a flame.
Oh, dear.
And then it sinks into the liquid.
But it had no effect on my skin.
Okay, bro.
Put your arm in there.
I want to see what happens.
Just simply in the name of science.
Hey, Kyborg, do not put your arm in here.
Okay, I forgot to mention, when you all were transported,
I keep forgetting, Duncan is with you,
and Duncan also got transported as well.
Where are you coming from?
You turn around, and there's just Duncan
sitting there drinking a big cup of coffee.
Hey, Duncan.
Can I run and throw in like five silvers?
Yeah, you run and throw it in.
I'm literally burning money.
Why?
I don't know.
Gum-Gum would be excited at what happened.
Guys, give me all of your wealth.
Gum-Gum, you run up very excitedly for some reason
and throw your five pieces of silver in.
But this time, instead of igniting and turning yellowish-orange,
it looks like they're covered in frost.
And then they
freeze over. It's shifting between
different elements. Looks like.
Five wishes for me.
What did you wish for, Gum-Gum?
I'm not gonna tell you.
Kind of want to dip a weapon in to see if it'll give it
powers, but I also don't want to burn a weapon.
Like your arm. No.
What about an arrow? Should we go back and see
if this guy has any more? Yeah, I figured let's
solve the riddles. You come back
and he says, are you all done playing with the fountain?
Yeah. For now. Are you done with
your stupid riddles? No.
Well, you are the one who asked
him. I hate that.
Give me more. He says, you're just wasting
your time playing with that fountain. What does that fountain
do?
Like, what's so special about it?
It's in the middle of the garden.
I didn't think anything is a waste of time if you're having a good time.
It's actually beautiful, Gum-Gum.
Yeah.
As we're talking to this guy, Bart's just going to face the fountain so he could watch it.
Okay.
You're almost like you're back to the Wyrmling and the party, but you're just facing the fountain.
Yes.
Arms crossed.
Arms crossed. Arms crossed.
Okay.
Actually, no.
He's making binoculars with his hands, but he's not holding binoculars.
He's just looking at it.
The Wyrmling looks at Kyborg and says, okay, I have one for you.
Shoot.
Sorry, I'm exhausted.
I eat.
I live.
I breathe.
I live.
I drink.
I die.
What am I?
Fire.
Oh. That's good. Wow. Wow. Do I die. What am I? Fire! Oh!
That's good.
Wow.
Do I see anything happen?
Make a perception check.
All of us or?
No, just Bart.
24.
No, nothing seems to happen.
I'm holding my to the side.
I'm like, hey, this guy's... These riddles are pretty amateur.
We've had harder than this.
Do you have any more riddles?
I shoved Kyberg away from me.
Or more crackers.
You gave him your crackers.
Why are you asking him for more crackers?
How about we continue with these riddles and see what happens?
So nothing happens with the fountain, but you did notice something else, Bart.
Okay.
You do notice that on top of the picnic table, there's gardening tools.
There's a rake, some shears, and a shovel.
Do you want to go garden with us, Mr. Rainsu?
Bart saw it. Yeah, Rainsu is starting to look kind of upset. He says, and a shovel. Do you want to go garden with us, Mr. Rainsu? Bart saw it. Bart saw it.
Yeah, Rainsu is starting to look kind of upset.
He says, okay, fine.
When I burst of anger, my tears scald the earth,
and my breath...
Volcano.
Volcano.
I was about to say the same thing.
God, I wish the audience could see Gus's look.
I wish. I've never Gus's look. I wish.
I mean, it doesn't.
I've never seen this man more disappointed in my life.
I'm so disappointed.
The fact that there was also just a volcano.
Oh, man.
That's so funny.
I also imagine Micah right now is facepalming as well.
I don't know.
Got all these riddles ready.
At the very least, we're actually answering them as opposed to previous times where we've just been failing constantly.
Rhyne Sue stands up on the bench and says, okay, you think you're so smart?
Yes.
And he lets out a deep breath.
Everyone make an intelligence check.
Oh.
I'm sorry, intelligence saving throw.
He might get me on this one.
Oh, thank gosh.
19.
21.
16.
Zero.
He might get me on this one.
Oh, thank gosh.
19.
21.
16.
Zero.
I can't believe I have a negative three on your end. I have plus five.
Wow, you are the smartest one.
It's a pretty good game.
Only on saving throws.
So someone has to attack me with intelligence.
Yeah.
They have to be viciously intelligent.
They have to surprise me with their intelligence.
They have to throw a book at you.
Yeah.
So, Gum GumGum, you take
15 points of psychic damage.
Oh! Okay. That's what you get for trying
to feed the practice. I think it actually doubles, because
I think he's weak to psychic damage.
Everyone else takes half, because everyone else
made a good save. So we'll say seven.
Oh, Gum-Gum goes, ah! And then, like,
falls backwards, and like,
my head hurts. Did you do that?
This guy's attacking us. He says, oh, sometimes when I, like, my head hurts. Did you do that? This guy's attacking us. Mr. Ratsu.
He says, oh, sometimes when I get angry, things happen.
Oh, that's okay.
We've all worked through anger management before.
Do you want to talk about it?
Yeah, do you need a therapist?
He says, no, no.
I need you guys to play by the rules.
Okay.
When I get angry, sometimes weird things happen, too.
And sometimes I can't control it.
But it's okay, because even if bad things happen, your friends will can't control it But it's okay
Because even if bad things happen
Your friends will help you out
You got any friends?
You can be your friends
What's he talking about?
I'm talking about my rage
I never really know
I just nod and say yes
This is Ryan Sue asking
Your friends are a little weird
Okay, fine
What did we break the rules?
You're answering my
riddles. You're doing too good.
Oh, do you want us to be wrong?
Would that be more fun for you?
Angry man? Well, if you're wrong, then
you spend more time here and we can play
more riddles. Oh, he's lonely. He's alone.
He has no friends.
I say this audibly enough to him.
Oh, no.
Kidding.
He's right behind you.
Okay, this is a good one.
Okay.
It speaks with a hard tongue.
It cannot breathe, for it has no lung.
What is it?
A shoe?
It's a whip.
No, no.
It has no tongue.
It has no tongue.
I thought it said hard tongue.
Hard tongue.
Hard tongue.
Oh, is it a bell?
Man.
He, uh, Reinsu.
Reinsu looks at you and says, you all are no fun.
I'm sorry.
I'm just, I'm enjoying myself if that helps at all.
He gets off the bench, you know, stands on the ground under the gazebo and very quickly burrows under the ground.
Oh, don't be like that. Oh, because he's a wormling ground under the gazebo and very quickly burrows under the ground. Oh!
Don't be like that. Oh, because he's a wormling.
I send Gumbo after him. You send
Gumbo after him? Uh, how fast
does Gumbo burrow?
He's a badger. Skeleton of a badger
pops back out of the hole. Couldn't he
follow the hole? That's what I mean.
It's almost like the ground swallows up
Ryan Sue. Oh. He's like a baby
smarsh. I'm looking up badgers
how many times have i looked up a badger in dnd here i have i have a tab open on my phone at all
times that's the badger page for dnd uh yeah gumbo uh begins uh digging underground very quickly
behind ryan sue does he find him how do you communicate with gumbo with my ring of familiar
bond like i mean how does that work is what i mean isn't it psychic yeah like answer me that question i'm just curious as to the mechanic of like this
is so tired of gumbo how to change the rules on how we work with gumbo you can communicate with
it telepathically my ring of familiar bond does it have a um range on it yeah okay um i guess he's
not here anymore so i can't ask him but so you said we saw the shovel, the rake, and you said a hoe?
It was a rake, shears, and shovel.
Shears.
Okay.
Do they look used?
Yeah, sure.
I have to think about that.
I will say, after you send Gumbo down, Rinesu pops back out with Gumbo right behind him and says,
No, no, don't follow me.
And then he burrows back down.
Chase me, chase me situation.
I'm very familiar.
I don't know what it is.
I think it might be a don't follow me situation.
Do I send Gumbo again or do we try to call out to him?
I don't know.
It's like I can't.
This guy like wants company but doesn't want company.
I feel like we got to get something out of him though.
Do you want to go like investigate the gardening stuff?
Yeah, probably.
Okay. Why don't you lead the way? Okay. Do you want to go, like, investigate the gardening stuff? Yeah, probably. Okay.
Why don't you lead the way?
Okay.
Bart's going to go look at the gardening stuff.
Okay.
As you begin making your way over to the gardening stuff, Gumbo communicates with you, Mud, that
he has burrowed under the blue clouds and is in the other corner of the courtyard.
Ah.
Oh, we could go underground to get around this place.
We should probably get that shovel then.
Yeah.
I would say, Bart, if you want to take the shovel,
I can take the shears
because I'm sure those will come in handy later.
I have a suggestion.
I can make Gumbo get big.
If Gumbo gets big and burrows,
could he burrow a hole for us to use
to get to the next corridor?
How big can you make him?
That's part of the, I can enlarge him.
I can use the enlarge spell,
which makes him medium.
Would medium be enough for us to crawl through?
You all are medium-sized creatures.
Well, then Gumbo is going to make us a little path.
Really quick, I want to give him a hug before he digs away,
because, I mean, it's a giant badger.
It's like a Totoro-type creature.
How often do you get to hug a giant badger?
He mauls Skyborg.
Okay, so you enlarge gumbo
with the enlarged spell and have him begin burrowing a tunnel from here to the other side
where he was before off to the east and you all follow him through yeah i mean i do could i you
want to take the grab the shovel sure i'll grab the other two yeah the shears and the rake the
rake yeah okay yeah you all you know, crawling through the tunnel.
It's big enough for you.
It's not like huge, maybe for Bardic.
It's big enough for me.
You have to kind of crawl to get through there, but you're able to get through.
Partway through the tunnel as you're crawling through, you realize that the gardening tools
disappear from your hands.
Huh.
Could I go back the way we came and see if they appeared back on that table?
Yeah, they're back on the picnic table. Huh. Could I go back the way we came and see if they appeared back on that table? Yeah, they're back on the picnic table.
Whoa.
I guess maybe you can't take anything physically through the clouds.
Noted.
Although none of our stuff, though, is...
Just those things.
The things that exist in one corridor can't exist in another.
I guess I'll go with Bart back to check, and then is there anything around the picnic table,
like plants that look like they need cleaning up or any gardening?
No, there was some shrubbery, like I mentioned before, but
I mean, it's not terribly disheveled or
anything. It doesn't look like it has to be gardened.
Mm-mm.
Complete this task. It has to be gardened.
It wasn't. Yeah. It didn't need to,
it was disheveled. There's a plant somewhere.
Have you gardened your plants today?
Uh, I can't
keep things alive, so no.
No.
So we mudded the railings, ghosted the tunnel, and what do I see?
Only mud has gone through?
I go back in.
I'll follow.
I'll follow.
Okay, so everyone has come through to the other corner, correct? Sure.
Okay.
You all pop out, and this courtyard looks very similar to the one you were just in.
You know, more wooden benches, shrubbery, a picnic table, an even bigger
gazebo, the corner of a fountain,
but this corner also has a large pile
of skulls. That's less accommodating.
Interesting decoration choice.
Human skulls? Okay. Before I answer
that, a deafening chime rings out
overhead. Everyone make a charisma saving throw.
Ah!
So bad at this. 24.
8. That's a 1. That's a this. 24. 8.
That's a 1. That's a 1.
High five!
We intentionally smacked Kyborg in the face.
And then you miss and hit yourself in the balls.
I hit myself in the balls!
That's a low 5.
Hang in low. It's a low 2.
Nice. Gum gum, Kyborg, and Mud, you all take one level of exhaustion.
You're tired now, Kyborg.
You're fine, guys.
And I assume nothing happens to Bart.
No, Bart's good.
And just for any, you know, listeners or anyone who is not familiar with exhaustion.
Yeah, for those who are unfamiliar.
Oh, you want to explain it?
I was going to explain it, but you can if you want.
Go ahead, go ahead.
No, okay.
I don't have the handbook in front of me.
Should he have had disadvantage on ability checks?
Yeah, that's one of the reasons I'm bringing it back.
He rolled a one, so I don't know how much more disadvantage
he could get on that.
Well, that's a saving throw, so it's different than an ability check.
But if you have one level of exhaustion,
you have disadvantage on ability checks.
Now your speed is halved, too. If you have two levels of exhaustion,
your speed is halved. Three levels
of exhaustion, you have disadvantage on attacks
and saving throws. Four levels of
exhaustion, hit point maximum is halved.
Five levels of exhaustion, your speed
is reduced to zero, and six levels
of exhaustion is death. Okay, I just
remembered something, and I understand
if it's too
late, because I now know the repercussions of me
failing that thing, but I have a thing called Indomitable
where I can re-roll a saving throw
that I fail. I must use the new roll.
You can use this one time for longer. Can I use that?
If you have one, you can
re-roll it right now.
To avoid this potential
second point of exhaustion. Yeah, buddy!
Alright.
Read it. Read right. Read it.
Read it.
Read it out loud for everybody.
As a reminder,
his first roll was a one.
As a reminder,
zero.
Felicitations,
my foul-smelling friends.
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we might name an NPC in the show after you.
He rolled a two with his modifier of minus two and it came out to zero.
There was a 90% chance you would have had a better roll.
It was only 5% you would roll worse. Dude. And you did it.
Did you break the headphones?
No, I didn't break the headphones.
They're fine.
I only have that once per long rest too.
I like the idea of like
Kyborg trying to spiffy himself up
to make himself more charismatic.
Like failing,
like he's got a piece of parsley
between his teeth.
I don't know,
like he's just failing miserably.
He's got something on his face.
And he's like,
hold on, hold on.
And then he turns around
and like reshovels himself,
tries again,
and somehow makes himself look worse when he turns back around oh my god he farts audibly
he's he's scrolling through his abilities trying to see just deal with it i have no luck he's i
got nothing yeah he'll just take it so if you want in the future uh don't forget bart has bardic
inspiration that you could use uh before knowing the results oh Oh, I could? Mm-hmm.
Is Rhinosue here?
No, you do not see Rhinosue here.
Oh, and then to answer the earlier question that Bart had before the chime went off,
it is various kinds of skulls.
Anything else?
Various kinds of skulls, okay.
Yeah.
So, yeah, like I said, it's very similar.
Wooden benches, shrubbery, picnic table, gazebo,
the corner of the fountain, pile of skulls. And there is also a figure sitting onubbery picnic table gazebo the corner of the fountain pile skulls and
there is also a figure sitting on the bench under the gazebo and things are scaled up or it's just
a larger gazebo it's just a larger gazebo okay is the person sitting on the bench uh rai su right
right no this figure appears to be bigger than ryan su was ryan su was pretty small uh i have
bad charisma you guys go ahead before we go, can I toss another silver into the fountain of this side?
Oh, yeah, you could.
Or look inside before we do anything.
Do you want to just peek in first?
See what it looks like?
Let him toss his money.
Well, I mean, does it look the same?
Yeah, it looks the same.
Okay.
Yeah, you toss, what, one silver?
Yeah.
You toss one silver in, and it seems to have, like, a green color to it that kind of sizzles a little bit.
It's an acid.
Yeah.
Approach the figure.
Hello, my name is Mud.
Do you like riddles?
Ryan Sue sent you.
Hello, my name is Mud.
Do you want to know how I got these scars?
You begin walking up to the gazebo
to approach the figure under there.
But before you can get too close, he says, figure under there, but before you can get too close
He says no no no don't get too close. Oh, why what's wrong?
He says any creature who gets near to me will meet an awful fate and he points at the pile of skulls Oh, that's terribly sad. I'm sorry. Is that like your choice or is this some sort of curse that you carry?
Or is he threatening? Yeah, are you threatening us right now? Are you threatening us? You're fronting up, bro?
Oh, no, this is for your own good.
So you're cursed. Roar.
Wait, I can't get
a read on this guy. I wasn't sold before, but the
roar sold it. Okay. Yeah.
Can I go investigate the skulls?
Yeah. Oh,
my handiwork. Yeah, I'm
going to investigate these things. Are you proud
of your murdering spree?
Are these real?
Make a, what do you think?
Perception or investigation?
I get advantage down investigation.
Yeah, make an investigation check.
That was a 19, a 20.
Beautiful.
Hell yeah.
Or a 10 or a seven.
God, I don't know how to read numbers.
That'd be a 20.
Yeah.
Yeah, they appear to be real skulls.
Is the pile just, oops, all skulls?
Or is there something underneath the pile?
Can I move a little bit and see if it continues to be skulls?
Or is it like, you know?
Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
Is there like.
Something hidden underneath.
Or like something making the pile look bigger.
Yeah.
Under it.
Right.
Other bones.
It's just skulls.
No, it's skulls all the way down.
Could Barko grab one of the skulls and try to go back down the tunnel to the other side?
Sure. Why not? You want to test, see if it disappears? Yeah. You grab one of the skulls and try to go back down the tunnel to the other side sure why not you want to test see if it disappears yeah uh you grab one of the skulls
and go back down through the passageway that um gumbo had made called a gunnel when you're going
back through the blue cloud now extends all the way down through the tunnel so we can't go back
there is no going back oh wow grabs a skull and starts reciting Shakespeare.
Go for it.
To be or not to be, that is the question.
Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
or take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them.
Oh, bigger performance check.
That was the, that's word for word.
I know, I'm impressed.
Bart hears it from within the tunnel and just starts applauding. Thank you. That was great, Ky's word for word. I know, I'm impressed. Bart hears it from within the tunnel and just starts applauding.
Thank you.
That was great, Kyborg.
Thank you.
I'm throwing you my panties.
I don't want them, thank you.
Eight.
Do you have an inspiration die?
I sure don't.
Yeah, you get an inspiration die.
Nice.
You know what?
I approach the figure.
He stands up, you know, from the stands up from the bench and begins backing away.
I warn you, don't get too close.
It's for your own good.
What's going to happen?
Ask the skulls.
What's going to happen? I ask my skull.
Like this.
Just puppeting it.
He says, platform.
I keep walking towards him.
This guy's all talk.
I slowly keep walking towards him.
He just bursts into flames.
I hope not.
Watch out.
He puts a hand out and the floor becomes slippery with water under you.
I cast shape water and turn it into ice.
It's getting more slippery.
Oh, no, I destroy the water.
Sorry.
I'll cast destroy water.
I destroy it.
Oh.
Oh, he seems a little taken aback by that.
I keep walking towards him.
Listen, not everyone's love language is words of affirmation or physical touch.
Maybe he's an acts of service kind of guy.
I'm calling this guy's bluff.
This is how Mudd dies.
Maybe.
He seems to like kind of make a hiccup and like a yellow wave of energy comes out in front of him.
Make a constitution saving throw, Mudd.
Don't stand. Don't Mud. Don't stand.
Don't stand.
18.
18.
All right.
You feel like almost like a weakening inside your body, Mud,
as the wave of yellow washes over you and you take 12 points of damage.
See, I warned you.
Don't get too close.
Could Bart approach, comes out of the tunnel,
puts the skull back on the table
and approaches and goes, do you not
want us close to you or is it just something you can't control?
He says, I don't know.
It just happens sometimes.
People get hurt. Can I keep walking
towards him? Yeah, sure. I will say at this point
you get close. Maybe he needs
one of Gum Gum's hugs.
I was going to try to
give him a little hug if I got close enough.
Mud can relate to this guy.
He doesn't like people close to him.
Yeah, you get close within, we'll say you get close within hugging range.
I hug him.
Your skin burns off your bones.
He kind of like the posture he was carrying, the bravado, I would say.
Or like the facade seems to break a little bit.
Oh.
And says, it's been so long since I've had a hug.
Aw.
That's real sad.
Gumbo gives him a hug too, and he's big.
Can Gumgo hug both of them?
Sure, why not?
I go in for a hug.
Get careful.
Don't everyone get too close.
You're going to get hurt.
It's okay.
Sometimes it's worth it.
I go in for a hug, but I trip on the gazebo steps.
And eat floorboard.
Your head goes directly into his crotch.
No.
You hear him say, oh, it's been so long since Dark Crest has had a hug.
What?
Dark Crest.
Dark Christmas.
Dark Crest.
What kind of creature is Dark Crest?
Yeah, it's like a young Topaz dragon.
Oh, goodwill hunting him.
Just be like, it's not your fault, son.
Topaz dragon, you said?
Yeah.
Who do you think was in goodwill hunting?
Yeah, but you went, it's not your fault, son.
I thought it was like a Sean Connery.
Ask him his name.
Oh, what's your name?
Well, Dark Crest, of course.
Dark Crest?
Crest.
Crest.
Crest.
Why are you here?
Do you know?
I can minimize hurting people if I stay here.
Aww.
But are you not hurting yourself by staying alone?
It's better that way.
It's for the better of many.
Do you happen to know of any other creatures that live here?
Like perhaps a wormling?
Hmm.
Maybe somewhere else.
I always stay right here.
Okay, my question is to you guys.
Gumbo was trying to follow where Rhyne Sue went
and it brought us here.
Correct.
And Rhyne Sue's not here.
Correct.
And this guy didn't see Rhyne Sue.
Correct.
Is Rhyne Sue still underground?
You did not see Rhyne Sue
when you came through the passageway.
Can I perceive if there are any like tools
or anything like that in this area? Similar to the guarding tools in the last area um no i think
it's just the skulls right correct table the skulls everything else you know benches shrubbery
picnic table i try something oh i'm sorry there is something i forgot oh on top of the picnic
table here there's a small stack of like like, little portrait drawings. Uh, Darkcrest, did you make those little portrait drawings over there?
He looks at them and says, I prefer not to think about them.
Are those the skulls?
Yes.
Oh, you've drawn all the people you've killed?
Yes.
Um, who can we look at?
He does not look very happy about this.
Oh.
I go look at the little portrait drawings and I see the kind of folks
that he killed. Yeah, it's just like an
assortment of different people.
Not like any one specific
class or race or anything. It's just
all different kinds. How good is the art?
How good is it? It's pretty crudely drawing.
Okay. These look great.
Dark Crest. Yeah, you're so talented.
Make a deception check.
Gum Gum thinks they are really good, for the record.
Wow.
He doesn't have to actually deceive you.
Those are really good.
13.
Oh, wait.
Am I at disadvantage?
Yeah.
8.
Oh, you're just saying that.
No, I want to put one on my refrigerator.
What's the fantasy refrigerator?
Icebox.
A crest of your fireplace.
Yes.
Mantle. Well, I don't know if I want to put that in there. How big. A crest of your fireplace. Yes. Mantle.
Well, I don't know if I want to put that in there.
How big is the mound of skulls?
We'll say it's about five or six feet tall.
Oh, big.
Skulls?
Could I cast Gust on the pile of skulls?
Sure.
You create a small blast of air capable of moving, I guess it's not big enough for this,
no more than five pounds.
Yeah, it might dislodge a couple of skulls
and move them around, but it's not going to get rid of the entire pile.
Instead of that, Gumbo
and I approach the skull pile and
try to push it all aside to see if
there might be something underneath it all.
I thought we did that already. I check to see if there's skulls
all the way down. I want to see if the ground underneath the skulls
perhaps is any sign of anything.
Make a perception check.
I'm looking for a crystal skull. I'm trying to take back an investigation check because you're actively like looking here
i hope you never find the crystal skull 17 or a 2 so 17 uh no it's just like ground under there
you know the grass is a little yellowed under there maybe okay from being under the skull have
to go to all four quadrants basically sorry for that word uh to like essentially like me yeah dark crest asks well you've helped me feel better about what's happening here
You know we're friends now, right? Yeah
Well friends help each other right like you help me and maybe I can help you
Etc from a distance if you prefer kind of trust her I scratches back. Oh, okay He Kind of tries to reach. I scratch his back. Oh, okay.
He was trying to figure out how to scratch his back.
Just his leg starts twitching.
Oh, that's nice.
Well, maybe I can help you.
It looks like you're trying to proceed, right?
You're trying to move on to the next area?
Yeah, I was trying to see the whole area.
Yeah, something like that.
He says, maybe I can try to use my breath to punch a hole through the cloud for you to move on to the next area.
Does fire make holes in these clouds?
His breath really wasn't fiery.
It was kind of like a yellow wave.
Yeah, like you just said, a meatball sub.
Spicy, not fire, but spicy.
Pungent, garlicky.
Yeah, garlicky, yeah.
He gets off the bench, moves over kind of by the blue cloud heading to the south,
inhales, and lets out a big breath.
It punches a hole through the blue cloud.
He said, oh, well, look at that.
You could have done that any time.
I give him a pat on the back.
I hand him my toothbrush and then I walk through.
He says, oh, thank you.
I'm going to draw all of you.
And he goes over to the bench and picks up some paper.
Maybe don't draw it.
It seems like a bad omen somewhat.
I'm going to do my best work ever.
Thank you.
Mud walks through the hole.
Bye-bye, Dark Crest.
I'll never forget you.
Mark follows Mud.
And follows.
Okay.
Who's that guy?
Kyborg, you follow as well?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I went through.
Okay.
A deafening chime rings out overhead.
Everyone make a charisma saving throw.
23.
And am I at disadvantage on this now?
No, you're at disadvantage on ability checks.
I do my bardic inspiration to add a d10 to everyone's rolls.
Yeah, is it a d10?
Yeah.
Oh, thank you.
So there's a bonus action, a creature within 60 feet that can hear you creature yeah a creature
uh well i'll give it to kyborg and i'll do another one for mud oh you can cast it 18 so you can use
it i have four per short rest yeah this is an unusual i just want to point out this is an
unusual ability because this is one of the rare abilities you can add after you see the roll but
before knowing the outcome lots of times i say you can't do that because you already rolled.
This is one where you can actually do it after the roll.
So it's intended almost like when you see a bad roll to be like,
oh, here, let me help you out with that.
Would she be able to do it to two different people?
Yeah, could I do it twice in a row?
If she rolled two of it?
It's supposed to be a bonus action.
Yeah, that's what I'm asking.
Which would be typically one a round.
Okay.
So I would say pick one.
I'll give it to Kyborg.
Sorry, guys.
But he's two down. All right. So then you can roll. I'll give it to Kyborg. Sorry, guys. But he's two down.
All right.
So then you can roll a D10 and add that Kyborg.
Yeah.
I rolled a nine and then I rolled a nine.
Oh, I see.
So it's 18, right?
Yeah.
I'm going to re-roll it.
You inspiration-ing?
Yeah, I'm inspiration-ing.
Eight.
I'm a 23.
Kyborg's an 18.
And then Mud, I guess, is a nine.
No.
An eight.
Eight.
And Gum-Gum's a 13.
13.
Okay.
Everyone except for Bart takes a level of exhaustion. An eight. Eight. And gum gums are 13. Okay.
Everyone except for Bart takes a level of exhaustion.
Oh, man. Even Kyborg?
Even Kyborg.
What?
I just passed it.
So what are you now?
You're now disadvantaged on attack rolls and saving throws.
We not.
You better start doing better, Kyborg.
I rolled an 18.
So I guess you need a 20 or higher, it seems like.
Maybe it's increasing in difficulty as we progress.
Yeah.
So this corner of the courtyard, again, looks similar.
More wooden benches, shrubbery, and this time an even bigger gazebo than before.
A corner of the fountain, and the picnic table in this corner has a massive mound of gold on it.
I go take a nap on the mound of gold.
I'm so exhausted.
And there's also a figure sitting on a bench under the gazebo.
Does any sort of healing potions or spells cure exhaustion?
I believe there are some you can undo exhaustion with.
Okay.
But other than that, it's a long rest.
What about cure wounds?
I don't think so.
Cure wounds is just hit points. Yeah, it has to long rest. What about Cure Wounds? I don't think so. Cure Wounds is just hit points.
Yeah, it has to call out status effects.
Right.
It has to specifically say it undoes exhaustion.
Yeah, typically it's a long rest,
but I believe there are some potions
and some magic spells that can undo exhaustion,
but it has to specifically say that it does exhaustion.
Did we go and approach the figure?
Yeah, Mud makes a big sigh.
It just goes,
Hello, my name is Mud. Do you like
riddles? Do you breed garlic bread?
What's your deal? I'm good.
On the bench is an adult
moonstone dragon. She regards
you and says, Well, hello.
Pleasure to meet you.
And she like
nods her head in your direction. And as she
does so, you see that she has a blue key on a silver chain hanging around her neck.
She speaking draconic?
No, she's speaking common at this point.
Y'all got this under control.
I'm going to nap here.
Have we seen any other keys like ever like this?
Not that you can recall.
No.
I don't know if I mentioned it.
The pile of gold, of treasure. I should't know if I mentioned it. The pile of...
Gold.
Of treasure.
I should call it a pile of treasure.
It's actually not just gold.
It's like a small mound of riches.
Seems to be glowing with like blue lights twinkling.
Does it seem like we could approach her safely?
Yeah, she doesn't seem hostile to you.
What are you doing here?
I'm collecting.
Oh, what are you collecting?
Treasures?
Is that your treasure?
I collect other people's treasures. Oh. Oh, what are you collecting? Treasures? Is that your treasure? I collect other people's treasures.
Oh.
Oh, so you're a thief.
No, heavens no.
People like to trade things sometimes.
Oh.
Oh, trade.
What you trade for?
I like to acquire things that people value.
Sorry, I'll clarify.
What do you trade?
That's open to discussion.
And she gestures over to the treasure on the picnic table.
Yeah, it's really pretty.
Cyborg's snoring on it, by the way.
The key around your neck, what is that?
What's that for?
It's very beautiful.
Thank you.
This is a personal treasure of mine.
Personal treasure?
What is it open?
That which is locked.
Interesting.
What would one have to do to take that off your hands?
Or should I say neck?
Oh, this?
Hmm.
I don't know.
What does a young halfling like you value?
Gum-Gum's life.
Don't trade that.
No, do it, do it.
I could trade it for your friend.
She seems very into this now.
She's eyeing up gum gum.
My friend here is not for sale, madam.
Or trade. Or trade. I mean,
it depends how long you want it for.
I'll be your friend.
Forever? Yeah, I'm always friends
forever. Unless you're mean.
Your
concept of forever is so
cute. I don't know what that means.
I'll give you a jar and jump and jab if you let us leave.
Get the key.
Get the key.
Guy with the key.
Leave with the key.
You're jumping, Jav?
Yeah.
I assume you're holding it out, like, up at her.
Yeah, while laying down.
I'm still, like, my eyes are closed.
So you're really laying on the treasure?
Yes.
Yeah, I'm exhausted.
I'm level three exhausted.
Oh, right.
She looks at it and then like regards you, Kyborg.
I'm sure you have something you value more than that.
What about this instrument of illusions that I have?
That's fine.
It's a wondrous item.
It's no half orc wizard.
I don't think she's going to let us go until we sacrifice something.
I mean, using the instrument of illusions,
you could create your own half-orc wizard
for yourself anytime you want.
Ugh.
I can already create illusions anytime I want anyway.
What do I need an instrument for?
You want one of my favorite things?
What are your favorite things, my pet?
Oh.
Gross.
Gum-Gum reluctantly pulls around and holds up his rat blanket cape.
Oh, wow, that is actually pretty important.
Whoa, Gum-Gum, are you sure about that?
No.
It's so important to him.
Look at the tears in his eyes.
It's my magic cape.
What's magic about it?
It just is magic.
That's how magic works.
Love in every scene. Yeah. That's how magic works.
Love in every scene.
Yeah.
It's made of rat.
Where did you get this again?
It was early. I got it from whenever we were exploring the dinosaur area.
No, the dinosaur area.
And I found it.
I think there's a campsite, and I found it.
And it was like, I think it was just a blanket.
And I made it a cape.
Right.
As you're saying this, you know, Kyborg's talking to you
and you realize that Kyborg is also now glowing blue
on top of the mound of treasure.
I'm a smurf!
That's not good.
I like to think that you're like sleep drunk.
You're like, bro, I'm a smurf!
I don't care why.
I'm a dark elf now.
Then Murr, you know, moves her head close in to the cloak
and begins smelling it.
Takes a big, like, inhale.
It smells good, doesn't it?
That'll do.
Place it on the pile.
And now the key.
Oh, tuck me in.
Tuck me in.
And what will everyone else be giving me?
Oh, dang it.
Oh, yeah.
I thought it was one for one, lady.
No, it's value for value.
I have this longbow.
It was my first longbow
that I used in my adventuring.
I'm not giving the longbow
to Krystalyn.
I'm going to give the longbow.
I know, but the longbow
of triumph.
No, it's a different longbow.
It's the other longbow.
It's the longbow that I've had
for the longest.
It's my longest bow.
Oh, well, I just deserve that.
Go ahead and put it on the pile.
What?
I just put it on top of myself.
I'm still sleeping on this pile of treasure.
You should just give it to me.
I mean, that obviously was intended for me.
If you say so.
Can I have that key?
She looks at you laying on the pile there with your bow and with Gum-Gum's blanket.
Hmm.
Trade accepted. Okay, so she
gives the key. Next.
Ah! Everyone
must give. Alright, Bart. Sorry, I cut you off
earlier. Go ahead. Um, I don't know
if I have anything that she's gonna want.
Gum-Gum. Um, what if I,
if the thing that I'm offering you is a
kiss from Gum-Gum?
You don't own that, though.
I'll get it.
Well, I'll take that.
Okay.
What about a kiss from me?
And he snaps his suspenders of haggling.
Oh, so that gives you advantage on what, like a persuasion check?
Uh-huh.
Go ahead and roll it.
That is a 17 and a 18.
18.
That's intriguing,
but let's sweeten the deal a little.
Uh?
All of your future kisses are mine.
Uh-oh.
Uh.
From now on, all of your kisses belong to Lin-mer.
What if I'm not physically near you, though?
You can only give them to me.
They are all mine to do with as I please.
Ah.
That's a bridge too far, my lady.
It seems so arbitrary, but also creepy as hell.
Very creepy.
And also, that is a commitment.
You're getting married right now, Bart.
Apparently.
Could I instead...
What about a song?
A special song.
I like how she wanted all of my kisses forever,
but maybe a song instead.
Give her rights to your song.
I was saying, you composed for me.
What if I wrote you, Lin Mare,
a song?
And you can collect all royalties from it.
Personalized for you.
You could record it and everything.
I find music tiring.
Ah, dang it. Make her sleep.
No, don't do that.
There are things I could cast on her,
but I don't know if we want to do that.
I don't know if I want to cross that bridge.
Alright, alright, alright. What about my wand of magic detection? There are things I could cast on her, but I don't know if we want to do that. Yeah, I don't know if I want to cross that bridge. All right, all right, all right.
What about my wand of magic detection?
I think that could come pretty in handy for you.
You use that every episode, pretty much.
Every day.
That's what we call our days.
It's important to you.
Very.
It's important to our team.
It's very, very important to know when magic lies ahead.
Keeps us safe.
The wand and two kisses.
You got it.
Hershey or...
Hands over the wand.
I guess I remove it from my inventory.
Yes.
Do I have to roll anything for the kisses?
No, she extends her right cheek to you.
And then she turns her head for the left cheek.
Jeez, that's not...
For the audience, Micah is not putting any foley right now.
That's all real.
That also tickled the inside of my lip.
He puckered.
European style.
Lin-Mir says...
Magnificent.
Magnifique.
And for the final one.
She turns her attention to mud.
What of your friend there?
She looks at Gumbo.
You can jump off a cliff right now.
Over my dead body.
He'll go so well with your friend.
She looks at Kyborg.
It's hard to enjoy a badger when you're dead.
Oh, you can find out very quickly if you like yeah let's go no i have a proposal
for my trade congratulations kiss exclusivity how about i give you a piece of my soul. Oh my god. Ooh. She, uh, seems very intrigued. Go on.
You get a piece of my soul. It's
for you for forever. You get the
part of it that is for you to deal with as you
wish. Hmm. That's
an intriguing offer. What
part of your soul?
Uh, let's call it a percentage.
What percentage?
Ten percent of my soul.
Wow. Hmm. That's a pretty good offer, lady. That's a lot. That's a pretty good offer. Your soul, you only got one of them. What percentage? 10% of my soul.
That's a pretty good offer, lady.
That's a lot.
That's a pretty good offer.
Your soul, you only got one of them.
Hmm.
How about 30%?
Oh, my goodness.
It's like a Shark Tank deal.
25.
Deal.
All right.
A quarter of your soul.
You got the quarter of my soul.
She seems very, very happy about this, actually.
Okay.
I will trade you the key.
And she lowers her head and the necklace slides off from around her neck and lands at your feet, Bart.
Bart picks it up.
I'm done with you three.
You can leave.
Three.
But Kaibar, what'd you do?
They think it's I'm the gift.
No, no, the bow is the deal, not me.
Silence, treasure. No, no. The bow was the deal. Not me. Silence. Treasure.
No.
Stop it.
I picture this like Melisandre from Game of Thrones.
A bit.
A bit.
He was not part of the deal agreed upon, if I recall correctly.
Oh, he offered himself willingly.
Look at him laying there on the treasure. I get off the treasure ship.
No, no, no.
No, I gave you the bow.
Treasure stays on the picnic table I get off the treasure ship. No, no, no. No, I gave you the bow. Treasure stays on the picnic table.
You said bow offer accepted.
You get my special bow.
No kyborgs.
Bart casts invisibility on kyborg.
Cyber Monday's over.
You cast invisibility on kyborg.
Yes.
And when you look around pleased with yourself,
Lin-Mur is no longer there.
What?
Is kyborg?
You hear a disembodied voice say,
Parlor tricks are so fun, aren't they?
I don't like this lady.
Yeah, this is creepy.
Although I'm a little turned on.
With the removal of the key,
has there been any sign of anything
like maybe in the blue clouds to put it in?
No. Or anything
with a lock nearby that we could see.
You hear a disembodied voice say,
Kyborg, you can give me all
your kisses.
Hey, Lin-Manuel, where
do we use the bloody key?
Oh, well, it sounds
to me like the deal is being
renegotiated. No,
you said it was for something.
What's it for?
Is treasure staying or is treasure leaving?
A little more tell me about yourself.
Maybe this will work out.
You know, how does she look?
Well, you can trade me something if you want your friend back.
What do you have in mind for this trade?
Here you go.
This is what a moonstone dragon looks like.
Oh, she's hot.
Not really cat works type.
It's a dragon.
I do speak Draconic, but, you know.
Hmm.
You could give me that.
My ability to speak Draconic?
No, it's one of my favorite languages.
It's so grating when it comes from your mouth.
Yeah.
You don't want it.
That's what's going to be around you 24-7 if you keep them.
I have something.
Go on.
Another 25% of your soul.
I will give you something that's very important to me
that has been with me for a very long time.
I will give you my ability to turn into a camel,
the first animal I learned to turn into.
Oh, my God.
You don't see it. She's thinking about it, though. She pops back into form. to turn into a camel, the first animal I learned to turn into. Oh, my God. Hmm.
You don't see it.
She's thinking about it, though.
She pops back into form.
You can once again see Lin-Mir.
It's part of my history.
I do enjoy history.
You would know that, considering you have a quarter.
Yeah.
I'll counter your offer.
How about a re-gift from the treasure?
Pardon?
How about he gives me a gift?
I gift you a gift?
Is that what's being offered?
Explain what you mean.
I know your friend has been blessed with a gift.
He could give it to me instead.
What gift?
What gift do you have?
I don't know.
Gift of the chromatic dragon?
Absolutely not.
Or my dead body.
I will roll for initiative.
You want to take on this dragon? With three levels of exhaustion? Absolutely not. Over my dead body. I will roll for initiative.
You want to take on this dragon?
With three levels of exhaustion.
I don't have to be so fearsome looking.
She begins transforming in front of your eyes into a very shapely elf.
Ah!
How many kisses did you want?
All of them.
What does that entail?
So say, like, I leave here, right?
Five years down the road, meet somebody, you know.
Going for the first kiss.
The night is going well.
We touch hands while watching a projection.
Hand.
Hand.
I only have the one hand.
We touch hand.
And then I go in for the kiss.
Then what happens, Lin-Mir?
It's mine.
How does that, so then does it land on their
face or do you suddenly appear and then you get the kiss
yeah like do you swoop in or yeah
I guess time will tell won't
it I feel like
we're not leaving this place until you give
are you gonna get
are you a blue elf because you're you know
this is cool if you are I'm into that
it's difficult to place because she begins transforming
seemingly randomly between every iteration of possible elves.
I say you go for it, my dude.
I mean, she's pretty hot, you know?
I say go for it.
You might not find somebody else.
I mean, you're not wrong.
Okay.
Gum gum, guys, I'm going to leave for some kisses here.
No, I'm just like.
I don't think we're leaving without something from you.
Yeah.
I don't know if you want to give up love. It's just kisses. I'm just like... I don't think we're leaving without something from you. Yeah.
I don't know if you want to give up love.
It's just kisses.
I'm not asking for his love.
I'm just asking for his kisses.
Kisses.
Could also mean Hershey kisses.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I do have Hershey kisses in my inventory.
Like doll hairs.
Yeah, yeah, there you go.
We're going to be here for forever if you don't play this game.
What if we actually meet someone that Kyborg falls in with and you deal with that consequences later? We're stuck in this blue cloud realm. It's gonna be on the treasure and you have to deal with this
Take away my ability to fart. It's one of my most
If you get by if you take that for me, I'm a fraction of the man I was before. How about your barrel rolls?
Give the kisses.
Kisses are barrel rolls.
Kisses are barrel rolls.
Barrel rolls are side to side, right?
Yeah.
She's saying it in the context that you use it.
Guys, I don't know what to do.
I mean, here's the thing.
This is all fantasy, right?
It's not real.
But, you know, anything else that you could possibly want
Is there anything else on the table that you're interested in?
Just for her to tell us what the key does, right?
Do you need to come for me or do you need Kaiborg?
Well now I'm kind of invested in this deal.
She looks at Kaiborg.
Well, okay, it depends.
Kaiborg, maybe you should stop flexing. Maybe that'll get her off your scent.
Oh, see, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just imagining that.
Are you going to be like,
what form are you going to be in when you get my kisses?
You be pretty, pretty, pretty lady?
Yes.
Half my kisses?
No.
All the kisses?
All.
Yeah, sure.
Take all my kisses.
Splendid.
And once again, where's the bloody key go to?
I'm done with you four.
For now. Not K-Book with you four. For now.
Not game work.
For now.
For now.
She gestures off to the wall to the west.
Simply walk that way.
And that's where the key goes?
It will open a path for you.
Okay, let's walk to the wall.
Yeah, I leave before I get...
Yeah, you begin walking towards the wall.
And as you approach it, the blue cloud like widens up and opens a passageway for you all to pass through.
What about the key?
You still have the key.
I do, yes.
It's the key, from a metagaming perspective,
it's the key that creates the passageway that allows you to leave.
So we don't have to physically unlock anything?
Just having it does it?
Correct.
You can think of it as looking like a key.
It's a fob.
Oh.
I like how you probably didn't have to do that deal.
We could have just tried to walk through and this would have happened.
I don't know.
It might have resulted in combat with this very magically powerful creature.
It is an incredibly powerful creature.
I got the vibe.
I didn't want my wand of magic to touch it.
Be a hot shapeshifter.
Guess I got a new life.
Do you want to test this?
Absolutely.
Do you want to kiss Gumbo?
Oh, you can send him that photo if you want, Ben. Yeah, I'll take that. It's a win. It? Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to kiss Gumbo? Oh, you can send
him that photo if you want, Ben.
Yeah, I'll take that. It's a win to win.
It's a win to win, boys.
Put that with the, what's the beast called?
Oh, the Oryx?
Oryx. Yeah, new fanfic right there.
I pick up Gumbo and put it towards
Kyber's face. Yeah, once you make it safely on the other side, I try
to go in for a Gumbo kiss. What?
You're trying to kiss gumbo?
Yeah.
I want to test what happens.
Yeah, let's see what happens.
I miss my wife.
Let's kick these tires.
I miss Lynn Murr.
My wife.
You go to kiss gumbo, and as you get close and pucker your lips, gumbo's face transforms
into Lynn Murr's, and she puckers out and steals the kiss very quickly.
Oh, hey, what's up, Lynn Murr?
Long time no see.
You just kissed that animal on the mouth.
Well, that was fast.
Thank you.
I was just excited to see you.
I'm very excited about our new partnership.
I hope you bring this up like 20 episodes from now.
Kyberg's going to want to kiss everything,
and then it's going to be Lindbergh.
The weirdest telephone ever.
I hope you get a recurring voice actress for Lin Burr.
No, you need to not.
No, we'll just fully a kiss sound.
That's it.
Yep.
All right.
You all pass through the wall to the west, and a deafening chime rings out overhead.
Dang it.
Everyone make a charisma saving throw.
Okay.
Before I do, I want to use my bolstering magic on myself.
Could I also, like, pat my butt as I walk through?
Sure.
Why not?
Okay.
I rolled a 20.
we want to pat me nice i can only do one i have one more it's only a d3 but i can give it i have
another bardic more bardic inspiration if you're comfortable i'll give you my d3 roll first and
then we'll see what happens okay all right uh it's not gonna be enough because this thing's gonna be
like the highest level oh god i rolled a two and then i'm at disadvantage i rolled
a one wow forget it don't think i can save it save it so i have a 15 i'll take it because if
you have one i could maybe get above 20 could i give a bardic inspiration to gum gum sure so you
roll a d10 to add to that i'm at 13 at least i got a hot dragon wife before i died 23 so just for
clarity can i get everyone to say what their final rolls are after everything?
One.
23.
20.
13.
All right.
Everyone go ahead and take one level of exhaustion.
Even me with my 20?
Even you with your 20.
It was escalating.
This is going to be inevitable.
I'm so sorry.
How do you do that?
Conditions.
Under conditions on D&D Beyond, you should see exhaustion.
I now have disadvantage on attack rolls and saving throws. Kyborg
now has his hit point maximum
halved. Good lord.
Does that mean that I take 53 points
of damage? It's not that you take the damage,
it's your maximum hit points are halved.
But to make that occur on
his character sheet, he's going
to damage. Oh, override max
HP. I'm going to switch it to
was that 62?
Yeah. So when you enable
the exhaustion in D&D Beyond, it takes care of all
the math and the behind the scenes stuff.
Oh, okay.
So this corner of the courtyard
looks different from the rest. Let me guess. Big, big
gazebo. No.
There are wooden benches, shrubbery
in the corner of a fountain, but there's also a wooden
stage beneath a tall tree and a statue.
Statue is where? On the stage?
No, kind of off to the side of the stage.
Statue is what?
The statue's shimmering brilliantly.
It looks to be made of crystal.
It's a huge statue of a dragon.
Does this dragon look familiar?
Think about Lin-Manuel. I should call her.
No, it does not look familiar.
Do you go try to kiss the statue?
Are the benches in front of the stage like they would be an audience?
The benches are off to the side, like along the western and southern portion of the shrubs.
Well, Mud recognizes the stage and just looks at Bart.
Yeah.
I just associate you with stages.
There's no chance that the dragon, the statue, is either Estream, Shizu, or Winabe?
No.
You do not believe you have seen whatever the statue is depicting in the past.
Is there anything, like, written on the statue or on the stage or anything?
Make an investigation check.
This will go well.
Minus one.
Wow.
Some rules this episode are so bad.
As Gum-Gum walks back towards the other area we were in.
No, you don't notice anything out of the ordinary.
It's a statue and a stage.
Mud gets on the stage.
You get up on the stage and you notice that when you're standing on it,
there's like fallen leaves and some dull dragon scales on the stage.
Bart sits in the audience.
Well, there's, oh, it's on the floor?
Yeah.
Okay.
Anything happen? Not that you can tell. And there's no... Oh, it's on the floor? Yeah. Okay. Anything happen?
Not that you can tell.
And there's no creature around, is there?
Make a perception check.
I'm on a stage.
I'm taking...
I'm looking around, too.
And I have to take disadvantage, right?
Yeah, because it's ability, yeah.
Okay.
Well, it's going to be an 11.
Mine is 14.
No, you don't notice any creatures around.
Is there any stuff on the picnic table thing?
Benches.
Bench?
No, there is no picnic table here.
Is there any, like, any props, any things, any gimmicky things?
Gimmicky things?
You know, like a pile of treasure.
A pile of stones.
You know?
A bunch of gardening crud.
No, there's nothing that you can see.
Okay.
Is the bench blue and glowing, haunted in any way?
I can pull out Boomba and see if there's magic.
No, the bench is not glowing or anything.
Alright, I lay on the bench. You want to
resolve, detect magic, or what is
it just called? Yeah, it's basically detect magic.
So you pull out Boomba
and you begin focusing.
I was waiting for it.
I need to hear the gum gum
channeling.
It's like Marge.
You actually do detect very strong transmutation magic.
Where?
Coming from the statue.
I think that statue was transformed.
Maybe it's a real dragon.
Do we maybe have to free it?
The statue begins moving.
You notice that its eyes open and the wings flex out.
Oh, it's one of those street performers.
And it looks at you all, sees you, and then begins blinking.
Overhead, the day turns to night.
And the courtyard here is filled with dancing lights.
And the fountain explodes to life, spraying liquid everywhere. Everyone make
a dexterity saving throw. That's
disadvantage for me and Kyborg. And me.
Are you on level
two? I'm on three. Three, I mean.
But I also have advantage on that, so that just
evens out. Evens out. So,
18 for Bart. 11. 18.
Oh, 7. So, 7 for
Mud. Disadvantage sucks.
11 for Kyborg, 18 for gum gum, and 18 for Bart.
Correct.
Okay.
Some of the liquid lands on kyborg and mud from the fountain.
And y'all take a little bit of damage from that.
Hopefully it doesn't land on your arm.
It's going to be a lot.
I'm just scrolling high.
I touched it and nothing happened to me.
When did you touch it?
Oh, it was on your hand.
The first one.
You were lucky.
Both of you take 17 points of damage.
That's not good for me.
The liquid somehow at the same time feels like it's burning, it's freezing,
and it's just like creating like electrical feelings all up and down you as it hits you.
Guys, it's icy hot.
Be careful.
Can I cast Cure cure wounds on kyborg sure
thank you how bad are you if we're looking at my overall quarter last quarter full okay i will do
it at the fifth level well keep in mind uh my hp is halved so you're gonna get 22 points of damage
or healing oh you hit damage cause wounds no, you said the wrong word.
Cause wounds.
Thank you.
The dragon, like I said, regards you.
Day turns to night, and he looks at you all and says,
Oh, splendid visitors.
It has been a long time.
Hello, statue man.
I'm Silas.
What's your name?
I'm Bart.
I'm Gem Gem. Hello, my name is Mud.'m Bart. I'm Gum-Gum.
Hello, my name is Mud.
Kyborg.
I roll off the bench and then I roll under the bench in case there's another splash.
Is he also a dragon?
Like a statue, but...
Yes, he's like a crystal dragon, correct.
Silas.
Yeah.
It is a pleasure to meet you all.
What brings you here?
That's a good question.
Are you here for a song?
Are you here for a performance?
Always.
We'll take one.
Oh, it's been a long time.
I've been asleep for what seems like ages,
but I'm happy to sing a song and entertain all of you.
Have you been put to sleep against your will,
or do you just like this? Are you just kind of hibernating on your own? Just kind of you. Have you been put to sleep against your will or do you just, do you like this?
Are you just kind of hibernating on your own? Just kind of resting. When there's no one to share a
song with, what's the point of being awake? There's nothing I like more than a song. Why don't you
play us a ditty? What happened the last time you played a song for someone? Well, we, we all sing
together. And then what happened then? They had a good time. And then they left? They're not here, so I guess so.
Hey, do you have any, like, you know, like, Lin-Mirror?
Is there any, like, red flags I should be aware of?
I just entered a long-term commitment with her.
Oh, Lin-Mirror.
Yeah.
Who can't I kiss now?
What a weird question.
She's seeing other people, guys.
Yeah.
How about this?
I cast Infibulous Blessing and mold the earth to create little seats for us.
Oh, Silas looks impressed.
That's a neat little spell.
I think so, too.
You create, I guess, seats in front of the stage?
Yeah.
Okay.
Silas says, Splendid!
He stretches a little bit, lets his neck neck out and, you know, turns it side to side.
Then unfurls his wings and roars.
Roar!
A brilliant light shoots out in all directions, illuminating the courtyard with dancing lights.
They call me Silas, dragging a dance in Silas, hard romancing Silas shimmering a thousand
Ah, what's the line?
A thousand lightning
Ah, yes, shimmering a thousand lightning
My name is Silas crystal scaling
Silas breath scintillating
Silas singing from here to
From here to Where am I singing from here to, from here to,
where am I singing from here to again?
Lightning.
No, we used that one already.
Is there any place, lands that we've been to
that ends with ing?
Ing?
Erbling?
Erbling.
Erbling.
Yeah.
Oh, I've never been there.
I'll have to visit.
Sounds great.
You simply can't stop those
claws of applause
or the dropping of
draconic jaws.
You know when Silas
comes to town,
he's gonna show you how to
brown.
Scars. Drown.
He furrows his brow and you
bark.
It's a skill some of us need.
Dance around.
Applause.
Dance around.
Okay.
Because he's silent, serpent of scanning, silent soul enchanting, silent voice that roars like.
Enchanting.
Ah, you can't rhyme enchanting with enchanting.
Uh, uh, uh, ranting.
Chris is furiously Googling rhyming dictionaries. enchanting. Uh, uh, uh, ranting. Uh. Chris is furiously googling
rhyming dictionaries. Decanting.
Decanting. Chanting. Cool.
Enchanting with chanting.
That's a different word. That's weak.
With a voice that roars like
chanting. Hmm.
A voice that roars like
Outstanding. Outstanding.
Voice that roars like outstanding.
Here, let's try it again.
Because he's silent, serpent is scatting, silent, soul enchanting.
Silent voice that roars like everlasting.
Everlasting.
Yeah, you keep, he just roars forever.
This is the riddle. This is the riddle. It's rhyme and we are failing. Everlasting? Yeah, you keep, it just roars forever.
This is the riddle. This is the riddle. It's rhyme and we are failing.
Roars like...
It's on the tip of my tongue. What was it?
Birds flapping.
Birds flapping.
Uh, roars like, uh...
Lions mating.
Oh!
Ah, lions mating. That's it.
Let's
bring it home, everybody.
They call me
Silas.
Silas.
Okay, now that we know the words,
let's all sing it together.
Alright, a one, and a
two, and a one, two, three.
They call me Silas.
Silas.
Make a performance check.
All of us?
Bart, that was your line.
I'm still under the bench, by the way.
I'm waiting for the oil spill thing to happen again.
14, right? I don't know if I can roll three times because oil spill thing to happen again. 14, right? 14.
I don't know if I can roll three times because I got
the same one twice. Nah. 14.
My name is Silas
Christmas Lady.
Silas Christmas Lady.
Silas Christmas Lady.
Herbling.
Whose line was that? That was Gum Gum.
Gum Gum. I think it was Gum Gum.
I think it was a combination of both.
I said herb bloom and then you went herb bling.
Yeah, gum gum roll a performance check.
This is disadvantage.
Silas kind of furrows his nose a little bit.
We can do better.
We'll get it. Don't worry.
We'll work on it.
You simply can't stop those claws of applause.
Oh, the dropping arms are gonna just.
You know when Silas comes to town.
He's gonna show you how to dance around.
Make a performance check.
Not frown.
Ooh, it's gonna be a six.
It's our first run through Silas.
Yeah, yeah.
It'll be better on the day.
We've had a long day.
Yeah.
Because he's Silas,
serving the scatting,
Silas,
so enchanting,
Silas,
the voice that roars like
a lion's mating.
It was you,
wasn't it, Bart?
Make a performance check.
This might be the dumbest point
of our campaign.
Yeah.
No, this is gold. Yeah, yeah, Micah's right. I said the exact same thing, Micah. It a performance check. This might be the dumbest point of our campaign. Yeah. No, this is gold.
Yeah, Micah's right.
I was saying the exact same thing, Micah.
It's totally gold.
All right, let's take it home.
They call me Silas.
As searing beams of starlight shoot across the sky,
a glittering array of sparks descend upon the courtyard
like twinkling snowfall.
With glistening tears in his eye, Silas turns to you all.
That took my breath away.
Me too. I make a rose and throw it to stage.
Oh, beautiful.
Through the once dormant central fountain showers
till I spring a rainbow of chromatic fluid into the air.
And Krakow bolts a blue light and surge from the chromatic fountain,
striking each of you in your chest.
You each feel your lungs being filled with a fresh breath of air
as if after a long sigh of relief.
Everyone can take a long rest.
Oh, thank God.
Yay, wow.
Can I lift exhaustion?
I believe long rest does lift exhaustion.
It does do that.
I think I have to just select it.
Yeah.
In a flash, you all arrive back outside the temple of Sora.
Fading rays of sunlight are dipping behind the Tatoran horizon. Boom! The brilliant blue monolith towering before you fades into a cloud and
hovering in the air is a tear-shaped sapphire gemstone. It seems to be calling to you Bart.
Uh, Bart goes to reach out for it. It also kind of hovers over and floats towards you and as you
hold it in your hand you don't notice any tear-shaped cavities appearing
on your person, like it did for Kyborg
or Mud.
Instead, your musician's eye notices the
shape of the gemstone is a perfect fit and
size for something you've been missing all along.
A pick? A plectrum.
A guitar pick.
You just strum your lute.
The gemstone wraps around your thumb perfectly,
and you feel an influx of vitality fill your body from head to toe.
But you feel a tingling sensation tickle the nape of your neck.
The sky grows dim and darkness cascades across the temple.
You all hear something you'd hope never to hear again.
The cry of the Shadow Dragon. Oh, I thought it was going to be Brink Hustler.
Also another sound we don't want to hear again.
That's it for this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
Wow.
All right, everybody.
What a fun episode.
One more round of Silas. His name is Silas.
His name is Silas.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
Silas is a true adventure.
We want to give a shout out Silas! We'll see you all next week. Please don't unsubscribe.
We want to give a shout out to folks that interacted with us on social media recently.
Here are some NPCs named after them in this
episode. Ryan Su, the Emerald Dragon
Wormling, named after at super underscore
Rhino. Dark Crest, the young
Topaz Dragon, named after user
Julia Dark Crest. Hope I said that right.
Lin Murr, the adult MoonstoneDragon,
named after at ChelseaLinMurr.
Silas, the ancient CrystalDragon, named after
user Sit-Stay.
I also want to give a special thanks to some friends who provided voiceover
for characters in this episode.
The mysterious voice is BK from Achievement Hunter.
Lin Murr, the adult MoonstoneDragon,
is Lindsay Washburn from
Funhaus. Also, a little bit of
trivia, the voice of Goddess Andi.
Come back next week for another episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.