Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Of Life & Breath - Ep. 78 - The Quarterling Vs. The Shaddo Queen
Episode Date: January 4, 2023Everything in Tetora has led to this - the Infinights take on Inku the Shaddo Queen and the fate of someone dear to the party hangs in the balance. Check out our merch and follow us on Twitter, Insta...gram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Shout Out to our Voice Actors for this episode: Inku - Raquel Lily (@RaquelLily) Hugh Männer - Trevor Collins (@_TrevorC) Bo-Link - Joe Lee (@theloejeez) Omar Finn - Jacob Fullerton (@_jacobfullerton) Simsun Finn - Blizzbear (@blizzb3ar) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This is a Rooster Teeth Production. our latest libation, Zero Forks Given. It's a mixture of tail-spine tequila, devil-sight
cider, porcupinian pulp, topped with nectar from the nine hells, one of which is saying
porcupinian. One mouthful of this fiendish refresher and you'll be brimming with brimstone.
Previously, our adventurers absconded away in the Ahemobile to seek aid from ancient
dragons. While making their way up Mount Sayomoto, the party shielded themselves from shards of shadow,
deftly defied a draconic draft, and kept a lethal landslide at arm's length.
Eventually they and the elders summoned dragons of old, breathing fire and cold.
They learned of a long-forgotten legend, finally fulfilled by none other than Bart the Quarterling.
After Bart finally caught his draconic breath, the party splashed into the Shadow Mane where they
encountered Inku, Hugh Manor, and Bart's imprisoned parents. Cobble a cocktail, let's stink up a smelly saga. I told Trevor about what happened on the last episode.
And he was so confused because he's not caught up at all on the show.
He was just like, wait, your parents are what?
He's like, are you half halfling yeah he's kind of like quarterling
quarterling yeah it's math that's the best things about dnd improv and math yeah it was very funny
i had a nightmare the other day about recording tales from the stinky dragon where i was reading
the intro and like halfway through i realized i wasn't doing a good job at doing the voice and i
wasn't very enthusiastic about it and i I was like, oh, this sucks.
Like, it's not going well.
I'm not doing a good job.
You do a great job.
You are.
I don't think we praise Gus enough.
No, no, no.
Hold on.
Legitimately.
I was uncomfortable.
He is fidgeting more.
He's shrinking in his chair.
I just think like we don't give enough praise for how good of a DM Gus is.
Like he's he's great at letting us kind of go with things but also keeping us on track and like keeping to the story there's a lot to juggle as a
dm and it's like man i have a lot of appreciation there's a lot to juggle but i have uh micah and
ben helping me i do i cannot take uh all the praise for that like any stretch of the imagination
you're a special special boy
we stuck in that nightmare for a while no it was it was very quick. I forgot about it until I was reading this right now.
And I was like, oh, dream PTSD.
I had a dream about making puppets the other day.
I couldn't get.
We were trying to make one of the puppets, like do some sort of elaborate move.
Stunt is similar.
I forgot about till you just mentioned it.
And we were doing it over and over.
And I was stressing out about it.
Trying to get the pupp to like, correctly.
That is my nightmare.
My living nightmare.
It's funny when you get so invested in D&D, but it's work.
And it invades your dream.
It's like, it's such a weird, a weird thing to have.
You dive into the black abyss, splash, and everything goes dark.
In the distance, you hear the rumbling of thunder and the rustling of wind as a cold sweat comes over you.
After a moment, your eyes adjust to the darkness.
Before you is a black igneous rock path dimly lit by a swirling portal behind you.
The path quickly crumbles to an end and drops into a murky pool of purple fluid with several jagged rocks protruding the surface.
One sizable crag of black rock stands in the center of the pool with a set of stairs leading up to a spiked throne of black spires. A shadowy
and slender long-haired woman with pointed ears and indigo eyes sits on the throne.
You instinctively look around and spot two details amidst the darkness. First, to the north,
your left, you spot a small box made of bones precariously sitting on the edge of a craggy rock overlooking a waterfall of purple fluid falling into blackness.
Second, you look past Inku on her throne and spot three obscured shadowy figures.
It looks like a halfling, a dragonborn, and a human.
Welcome, Bartholomew. You're right on time.
Inku stands up from a spiny throne in the center of the pool.
A veil of darkness drapes her gaunt figure.
A thin smile curls along her black lips as she waves her spindly fingers at you.
I'm waiting.
Her eyes narrow.
Hmph.
I thought you would have learned some manners by now.
A mysterious voice chimes in.
I agree.
Manners are everything, my dear.
But I suppose we can simply chalk that one up to bad parenting.
All the way across the purple pool, you spot a middle-aged man in a tattered top hat slink out from the shadows.
He's wearing a black suit, a red ascot, sporting a well-groomed Van Dyke beard.
Hugh Manner.
There's no way they didn't script that encounter.
They're like, all right, first I'm going to say manners.
And then Hugh Manners, you come in and you say a thing about manners.
Nerds!
Is this in character?
Yes, absolutely.
I don't get it.
It feels like it's been ages since I've seen the four of you, doesn't it?
Oh, yes, dear Infinites.
I remember you.
I will admit, you may have found success in the past, but my eyes were always on the future.
Quite right, my dear. But in this place?
She waves her skeletal hand around.
Time stands still, and without the light of day, it can feel like an eternity. Can it, Bart?
Inku snaps her fingers and two shadowy figures are unveiled beside Hugh Manor.
They're bound and gagged by inky black vines, a ginger-haired halfling and a golden dragonborn.
Looks like I'll finally have the full set of the Finn family!
Inku snaps her fingers again and this time you notice an indigo ring shimmer on her left hand.
A familiar Shadrow appears next to her.
Bolink! Retrieve the halfling and the die gems!
Yes, my queen. And what of the others?
What Entropa doesn't know won't hurt him.
With pleasure, my queen.
Bolink vanishes into a veil of shadows and a handful of shajar emerge flanking your positions.
Everyone roll initiative.
I try snapping my fingers.
It seems to do something.
Is this the first time Bart is finding out
that he's half dragonborn?
I don't know.
Is it?
I think it might be.
Which one's the, is the...
Like which one's the mom, which one's the dad?
Or which one, yeah.
Which one's the mom is what I'm asking.
You would have to ask them.
They both appear to be male.
Oh. Oh. You said parents, yeah? Yes. Okay. is what I'm asking. You would have to ask them. They both appear to be male. Oh, you said parents, yeah?
Yes.
Okay, I got questions.
I thought they were a throuple.
I like this, but I got questions.
Yeah, roll initiative.
17.
23.
What a good roll from Bart.
Bart, you've been really killing the initiative rolls lately.
What's your secret?
I don't know because I never like going first.
That's why I noticed that you're going first frequently.
I don't know, because I never like going first.
That's why I noticed that you're going first frequently.
I like everyone else setting things up and maybe taking some damage off some people,
so I could come in and just go, yeah.
Maybe she's born with it.
Maybe it's modifiers.
17.
11.
Gum Gum and Kyborg, which of you has the higher dexterity?
I have plus five.
Wait, no, 20.
Mine's 14.
Okay.
What can I roll to figure out if Mud knows if dragonborns are born out of eggs?
I want to know if Bart was born out of an egg.
That would be nature.
That's weird. Can I roll for that?
Yeah, go for it.
Okay.
What came first, the egg or the Bart?
Or the farts? Seven. You're, go for it. Okay. What came first, the egg or the Bart? Or the Farts?
Seven.
You're the worst druid.
Yes.
I've said this from the beginning that I'm not nature-based.
It's intelligence, and I'm not high in intelligence.
For some reason, druids, the most valuable modifier is wisdom,
but nature is where that comes, is intelligence.
You know 100% for a fact, beyond a shadow of a doubt,
that Bart came from an egg.
I knew it. Hey, guys. I don't know if you know of a doubt, that Bart came from an egg. I knew it.
Hey, guys.
I don't know if you know this, but Bart was born out of an egg.
You were born out of an egg?
Is it because my yolks are so good?
Oh, God.
I crack you guys up all the time.
It's clearly because you are yoked.
Oh.
Bart flexes.
As you flex Bart, you realize that you have many enemies in front of you and around you could I
roll for intimidation since I'm already flexing yeah we can intimidation roll I'll give you an
advantage I already have advantage on those oh is because the gem I think so so a 19 and then a
rolling again because that was a one all right so 19 is the higher one oh Bart you look really
scary the ferocious quarterling maybe it's new, like the new found powers you have that have been unlocked in you, but
you're feeling extra ripped today.
Extra, extra beefy.
As if that was possible.
Now roll for deception on that.
Kyborg subtly holds one of his biceps.
That's pretty big.
You only have one bicep.
Yeah.
What do you want to do about all these, all these baddies all right so we have uh inkyu yeah you manner and then how many shadros you
rolled a pretty good perception check uh three three shadros okay so we're fighting them oh and
don't forget bolink disappeared disappeared okay you recognize him he was the one that was um
he kept going after the elder nam. Elder Namiro, correct.
And he voiced by our friend Joe Lee.
Oh, Joe does it?
Yeah.
That's fun.
All right.
Well, let me start things off by casting a cloud of daggers.
Are any of the Shadrows like bunched up anywhere?
They're kind of spaced out. So remember, Inku's on a throne, kind of in the distance in front of you.
Then you can see one Sh one shadow off to your left,
perched on some craggy rocks,
one in the path in front of you,
and then the other one is off to the right,
perched on some other rocks.
I'm going to put this cloud of daggers
right over Inku's head.
Okay.
What's the range on cloud of daggers,
just to verify?
60 feet.
Yeah, sure.
I have to zoom out to see all the maps.
I have to like really look,
get close to see the grid.
I'm double laughing because I'm watching you guys
to get within four inches of your screen to read something.
While also to my left,
Blaine is getting within four inches of his screen
to try to read something in one of his spells
because you both are blind.
It's not that I'm trying to read it.
The grids are so small at this magnification level.
I can't see them.
So you're just trying to see if we actually.
Just trying to make sure you're 12 squares away from Inko. And yes. I can't see them. So you're just trying to see if we actually... Just trying to make sure
you're 12 squares away
from Inku, and yes.
Okay, so that reaches.
I'm going to cast it
at the fourth level.
Just why not?
Yes.
So that does 28 points of damage.
It would help
if I looked up Inku's stats, huh?
There it is.
Maybe a little bit.
28 points of damage?
Okay, so you conjure
mystical blades of stabbing,
and they appear over Inku doing 28 points of damage okay so you uh conjure mystical blades of stabbing uh and they appear over inkoo doing 28 points of damage let me guess she grabs each dagger out of the sky throws them at you yeah
right i'm getting clarification on clouded daggers which is a spell we've always gone back and forth
on the damage occurs on inkoo's turn so i'll save that 28 well i thought it happened immediately i
think we've been doing that.
We've been giving Bart double damage.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
It says a creature takes the slashing damage
when it enters the spell's area for the first time.
Oh, first time on a turn or starts its turn there.
Yeah.
So when it starts its turn.
Okay.
Oh.
So now that anyone's getting around it,
it's just we've been doubling up on damage
the first time in procs.
But I made a note here,
28 damage from cloud of death.
Got it.
Anything else, Bart?
And then I also, just because I know this might get a little dicey.
Hey.
Hey-o.
Can I cast...
That's your theme song?
Mantle of Inspiration,
which would give 11 temp HP
to five creatures that I could see.
And this is a bonus action.
So yeah, you can absolutely do that.
Num Nums, how many?
11.
So you guys get 11 temp HP to add.
Oh, temp HP.
Is anyone with us?
Is it just...
I think we do, don't we?
Duncan?
Is Duncan with us?
Duncan, yeah.
No.
Let's say Duncan left.
Okay.
He did not come through this portal.
Yeah.
Okay.
Duncan was with us, but didn't come to the portal.
Correct.
Okay, so I would just give it to our party.
Yes.
Do you want to give it to Inku as well?
Absolutely not.
No, you give it to Gumbo, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, Gumbo's a target?
Let me add him on here.
No!
John's laughing nervously.
And does that give us our reaction or something?
Yes.
So each creature can immediately use its reaction
to move up to its speed
without provoking opportunity attacks as well.
Part of the mantle of inspiration.
Sweet.
So if you guys did want to move,
I think you could do it now.
I have an idea on move,
but I think I'm next,
so I'll maybe wait and then loop that in with my turn.
No, you can immediately use your reaction.
I'm just saying I don't want to talk over
Barbara's rest of their turn. Oh, gotcha, gotcha.
I think I'm done. Okay. Yeah, I can't do much.
I don't have, like, multiple attacks
or anything like that. So who's next in your shift?
Well, is anybody going to use their reaction?
Yeah. Yeah, I'll use mine to move,
I guess, towards... Are we surrounded?
Very loosely.
It's not like anyone's right up on you.
The closest Shadrow directly in front of you is probably 20 feet away.
Okay.
Portal's behind us.
Portal behind you.
The two other Shadrow off to the left, off to the right.
Inku was probably barely in the 60-foot range in the distance beyond the Shadrow in front of you.
I guess if I use my reaction, do I just use my walking speed or can i run to make it you can
move your speed so you cannot double move it's just whatever your your base speed is i'll move
40 feet towards her you would pass by a shadrow who's about 20 feet in front of you and so if you
walk past it you would provoke an attack of opportunity i walk around it out i walk around
him at 40 feet of
range you can but it wouldn't necessarily get you any closer to inkoo because then now you're not
taking a direct route yeah but i'll be on the other side of them right yes do you want to go
to the left which is north or to the right which is south i guess left so just to clarify reclarify
the way that it is there is like a purple liquid pool kind of on the floor beyond the first shadow
in front of you and that's where the throne is sticking up out of and that's where those rocky
cracks are sticking out of the shadow are on so you can move those 40 you will end this reaction
turn wading through this purpley liquid don't do it um then i guess i'll get to the edge of the
purple liquid yeah i guess move me however close I can get
without getting my purple good.
So it would be...
So, okay, the reason I'm kind of saying all this is
that would end up putting you right next to the shad draw
that's in front of you.
I know you're trying to get around it.
The best move you have would put you right next to it
without ending your turn in the liquid.
You have abilities like jump and all your other stuff,
but since you can only move right now,
you're going to end up next to this thing.
All right, I'll move right to it,
but without being within opportunity attack.
So like 10 feet away or so.
Just that way.
Well, five is melee range.
So 10 feet away.
Gus has played this interaction out a million ways.
Nature, you die.
Except one.
Okay, we'll say you're kind of just a little
to the north of it.
Okay.
All right.
Anybody else want to use
their reaction to move?
Yeah.
So I want to line up two people,
but is it possible
to line up two targets
in a way that they're
within 30 feet of one another?
Mike and I both immediately
start pointing to the map.
Yeah.
You can pull out your...
Protractors.
Protractors.
Yeah, yeah.
Encompasses and such.
Yeah.
I think you could probably line up
that first Shadra who's on the path in front of you
that Gum-Gum was kind of by
and Inku who's further behind.
That's probably about 30 feet away
and you could line those up.
Okay, and then with going that distance,
is that going to put me at disadvantage
for ranged attacks with that person, the Shadra?
No, no, no.
You can move a little bit to the east from your position,
not much, like 10 feet maybe, and line that up pretty easily.
All right, then I want to do that.
Okay, so you just make a small move a little to the east
away from the party for that.
Mud, you want to move, or are you good?
No.
No, Mud wants to stay.
Okay, and that was it for you, right, Bart?
Yes.
I did my bonus action, so I can't move, right?
You can move.
I can?
Yeah, because you cast a spell, you did a bonus action, you still have a move action.
So you mentioned there's like a chest of bones or like something made out of bones?
Yeah, it's kind of like precariously on a little outcropping by a waterfall to the northeast.
Kind of, you know how I mentioned there's one shadrow to the left on a rocky outcrogging to the north?
Croggy?
Craggy.
It's kind of behind that, maybe another 25, 30 feet behind it.
Could I move towards that without getting too close to someone so they would attack me?
Yeah, you can actually kind of north, kind of like a little further north of where Gum-Gum was,
where he ended his turn, there's a little more of an outcrop.
And it would put you closer to that Shadrow to the north, but you're still like 15 feet away,
and then the box is a little further behind it.
Okay, I want to move over there.
Okay, so all of you kind of, except for Mud,
kind of shift a little bit to the north,
northeast position-wise.
Cool.
Okay, it is one of the Shadrow's turn,
the one to the north, actually,
the one that you all moved kind of towards.
Okay.
Sorry, quick question,
but also where are the, my quote-unquote parents tied up? Quote-unquote. They are past Inku, kind of to the southeast. Okay, quick question, but also where are the, my quote unquote parents tied up?
They are past Inku, kind of to the southeast.
Okay, thank you.
Where are they?
And Bart, so sorry.
They should be sorry.
They abandoned me.
Did they?
Well, I don't know.
Your parents would never abandon you.
I guess I just like, I don't know if these are like my actual biological parents who put me up for adoption or people who adopted me.
There's a lot of questions, aren't there?
They just stay together for the kids.
No, that's been 22 so.
The start by Gum Gum and the finish up by Chris.
Chris's finger guns to me were great too.
Okay, so it's that Shadrow that y'all kind of moved to.
It's going to make an attack on...
Who should we do?
Mud is not close.
So Kyborg, GumGum, and Bart are all close.
It's going to make an attack on...
Make a roll to see.
Make a roll.
That sounds yummy.
Or just the thing where he doesn't want to get called on on class, so he kind of
looks down and scratches his head.
Well, it must work because
the Shadrow decides to make an attack
on Gum Gum.
You shouldn't be that enthusiastic about it.
What's your name? I'm Gum Gum.
Well, you're not quite close enough. It's
going to make a ranged attack.
It decides to
fire on you, hitting a C. What what's it firing it's a shard of
blackness from if you all actually had some of these fired at you before just like from its hand
yeah yeah okay uh hitting ac20 so that's gonna hit um i do have a question that shield the dragon
scale do we need to have that equipped in order? Okay, I saw Mike just responded. We don't have to have it
equipped. Equipped? Equipped.
I like equipped.
Equipped. No.
He's saying that as GumGum.
So you got clarification on what you need? Yeah.
Okay. So AC20,
you said that is a hit? Yes.
You take
17 points of piercing damage.
And I need you to make me a...
God, a wisdom saving throw.
This'll go well.
Mm-hmm.
Bye, Gum-Gum.
You're gonna lose this sanity.
Ha!
Ugh.
14.
I guess you're not used to taking damage
when you're not raging, so it's really ouchy.
It really hurts.
Oh.
And Gum-Gum falls down, is knocked prone.
Whoops.
You slipped.
Sensing weakness, the Shadrow decides to make a second attack at you, Gum-Gum.
Hitting AC 18.
That doesn't hit.
Whoa.
Because I have that shield equipped currently.
If I use it as a shield, it gives me plus two AC.
No, it's not a regular shield.
It's just a one-time use magic item you can use as a reaction
to being attacked or frightened.
Okay.
Okay, that's what I was, yeah.
I was saying,
because if we needed to equip it
as a shield at all,
like, or could we use it
just as a shield?
No, it's just got those abilities
you're talking about.
Okay, well then,
then it would hit.
What if I,
if I use Mom Arm on Gum Gum?
Mom Arm?
You know, when like you're
driving in a car
and you come to a really abrupt stop
and your mom puts her arm out in front of you
as if that's going to stop you from getting hurt.
I demonstrated on John.
Gum Gum, Bart's stopping short.
Okay, that hits.
So, Bart, does your mom arm take the damage instead?
No, I'm good.
That's where the care ends.
Yeah.
You take an additional 19 points of piercing damage.
Make another wisdom saving throw.
Do it.
The wisest of the wizards.
You know what?
Gus has been having such a hard time with battles and stuff.
I'm kind of glad Gus is getting some hits this time, okay?
He needed some.
Talk to me again in about 30 minutes.
10.
Yeah, we'll see how you feel later.
Yeah, we'll see.
Oh my God, Gum- Gum Gum, you're blind.
Again?
Is his hat down?
So blind and prone.
Yes.
And just took a good amount of damage.
Only 19 plus.
19 plus the first one.
Yeah, it was a bit.
But on the bright side, that's it for that Shadrow.
Kyborg, what do you want to do? Your friend, in air quotes, is prone and reaching around blindly.
Is this the Shadrow that is in line with Inku?
No.
No, this is a different Shadrow.
No, the one that currently fired is the one most to the north.
The one that's in line with Inku is the one kind of in the center that was in front of you to begin with.
Okay.
I wonder if I should just start dealing damage
to the boss. I mean, are we playing... From
a meta perspective, the one that
attacked Gum-Gum has already had its turn.
So we'll not be attacking again for another round.
Okay. Just go with what you wanted to go with.
You had a plan. Execute plan.
All right. So I pull out the long
bow of Chris, longer bow of
Kristalina and I fire.
But I also
want to do
a
arcane
shot.
Arcane shot.
Piercing arrow creates a line
one foot wide and 30 foot long,
and each creature in that line must make a deck
saving throw. On failure,
a creature takes damage from the arrow
plus 1d6 extra piercing damage.
Cool.
Okay, let's take care of the regular damage first,
and then we'll take care of that save and the extra stuff.
Okay.
What do you say when you shoot it?
Oh, do I have to say something?
Just me being curious.
Since it's a railgun, do you have a good eraser line?
Or another Blink-182 song reference.
I say, watch your manners!
And then I stick my tongue out at Hugh Manor.
Despite his...
Mind your manners.
We're probably doing better, but okay.
Nope, watch your manners.
Watch your manners.
That's cyborg.
I can't see.
All right, so I fire the longer bow.
Oh, no.
Rolled a one.
He rolled a one.
That's okay.
Do you have luckies? Yeah, I got
an inspiration battle roll that.
Man, do you have a plus 13 on your attack
roll? Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, I know. How?
Because I'm the best there ever was.
20! Just for clarification,
that was a 7. Plus 13,
20. I don't want people thinking it's a critical.
Okay, 20. Not a natural 20.
Yes, that hits. If it wasn't a 20, it'd be a 33 want people thinking it's a critical. Okay, 20. Not a natural 20. Yes, that hits.
If it wasn't a 20, it'd be a 33.
I think it's a natural.
I roll that. It's 1d8 plus 7. That's 14.
And this is on the
Shadrach, correct? Well, I'm
trying to figure out whether or not that
arrow carries that
damage to the next person as well.
I'm pretty sure it does. I see what you're saying. Let's take a look.
The piercing arrow. Does the piercing arrow take all the damage through
or just specific piercing arrow damage?
I'm going to make an executive decision
and say it takes all the damage.
On a failure, the creature takes damage from the arrow
plus 1d6 extra piercing damage, half damage on success.
So we're going to tally the damage.
We're going to treat it first on this Shadrach
and then we'll do the saves
and then determine how much carries on to Inku. Okay.
So 14. Plus. And
that's piercing damage, correct?
Yeah. It's kisses damage.
And then I'm rolling a d6. You need
an arrow that kisses so that you can send your
wife over to people and like
just attack them. I forgot about kissy kiss.
Wait.
Dang it. Two for the
additional damage. Plus two.
That's not worth it.
Who knows?
Maybe that was the final damage you needed for something to be triggered.
Yeah.
Listen, sometimes Bart and I, casting our spells, just completely miss our spells.
So you did something.
Just speak for yourself, Bart.
I said sometimes.
Bart's perfect.
Bart's never tried to put someone to sleep and they haven't gone to sleep.
Hey, you know.
Sometimes people just have a lot of caffeine during the day and they're not ready to go night-night.
Okay, so 16 points of total damage.
Okay, so first I'll make the dexterity saving throw for the Shadrow.
Okay.
What save do they need to make?
DC12.
Okay, they have plus eight.
Oh, my God.
DC12's low.
Yeah, sure is.
It is low.
That is a nat 20.
So it only ends up taking one point of damage from the extra D6.
Okay.
Really?
I would roll lucky, but it's just not worth it.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's not worth it.
All right.
And now Inku's dexterity save.
We have a plus 45.
Yeah.
Inku's not very dexterous.
He's just trying to get my hopes up so we can break him.
Roll a 16. that's an 18
which makes so half damage okay so you rolled a total of 16 damage so half of it goes through
okay so they get eight points first person takes the full first person takes the full half from the
d6 uh and then ink who takes half overall so in total you did a fair amount of damage okay
they're trying to make you feel better. Yeah.
Well, you got like five more attacks,
so do them.
Okay.
I'm just going to do a longer bow shot at the Shadrow that's in front of me.
Okay.
We just put out a skit on social media.
I think it was a week or two ago
of us making fun of the whole,
like when you're last in initiative
and it feels like it takes a lifetime.
And that was your turn.
100% born out of playing with Kaiba.
A 20 does hit the shot.
Okay.
Do we?
13 points.
All right.
It takes 13 points of piercing damage
from your magical arrow
fired by the longer bow of Kristalina.
Woohoo.
All right.
And then I'm going to take another shot.
Right in the kisser.
How many do you get?
Three.
I hate this.
22.
That hits.
Doing 10 points.
You're hurting my guys.
Bart yells across the room and goes,
It's all the small things really build up
to make a big difference, Kyborg.
She called your thing small.
Or he called your thing small.
Anything else, Kyborg?
No, I'm good.
Wow, okay.
Yeah, I'm going to hold.
I think what I need to do is I need to find what this, like, what the weakness is before I really start blowing stupid amounts of damage.
I imagine you just powering up right now and then it fading back in because you decided not to.
That's exactly right.
This is only a percentage
of my fraction of my power.
Gum gum,
where did the world go?
I don't know.
And then I'll, gum gum, and there's rage.
I'll roll my rage die
for eight,
which is
a bolt of light shoots from your chest.
Another creature of your choice that you can see
within 30 feet of you must succeed
on a constitution saving throw or take 1d6 radiant damage.
And I can use it as a bonus action until then.
So what happens when I'm blind?
Or prone.
You can't see anything, so.
We determined.
I knew he was going to argue with you.
Yeah.
At the last one, it just shot out
whenever we were in that darkness.
I think you aimed it yourself, if I recall.
It just shot in front of me.
Yeah, because that might hit some of us.
So if that's how we handled it before, I will say,
since you're prone, there's nothing in front of you for it to shoot out and hit.
Set up a flare, Gum-Gum.
If he's prone, he just shoots it into the ground and kind of bumps up a little bit.
Maybe that's enough power to lift him, Gus.
Or if he's on his back, he shoots it to the ceiling and
unlodges a stalactite that comes down and
impales you.
What a way to go.
Well, I'll
use half my movement to stand up.
Okay. Ooh, I like it when the players
do their research. And then...
Alright, nerd.
And then... Get my, nerd. And then...
Am I right here?
Okay, the thing that attacked me, am I aware of where it is?
It was a ranged attack.
Yeah, it was a ranged attack.
Roughly, you do.
So if I went after it...
You could try, like, what were you thinking?
Like, trying to close the distance?
Yeah, close the distance, then attack it.
So if you were to try to attack from range,
I would say you have disadvantage because you're blind.
Yeah, I do have, yeah. Or have blinded thank you for agreeing with me uh you're trying to close the
distance uh i would say you could try and i would roll a die and give you like 50 50 as to whether
or not you end up in the right place you think you do okay and then even if you do close to melee
then it's still disadvantage okay well i guess i'll do that and uh try and close
the distance i feel like i have a pretty good idea of where it was because i just fell back
i don't know do you want i'm gonna roll a d4 which do you want to be good evens or odds evens even's
good i rolled a four yes you closed the distance correctly if you rolled a three you would have
killed me uh and uh yeah you know, you have, I guess
all your time training
and fighting, you've really honed your skills
and you know, you remember you have a
mental image of the entire layout of the
battlefield and you charge at
the Shadrow who fired at you. A mental image
of the entire layout of the battlefield, but like a
five-year-old's crayon drawing.
Yeah, I like that.
I can see everything.
And then I will attack.
Do you know Kung Fu as well?
I know Fu.
I know Fu.
I will recklessly attack that thing that shot me.
Okay, so recklessly attacking gives you advantage
on your attack, but gives them advantage
when attacking you.
So since you have disadvantage because of blindness and advantage with reckless attack, you them advantage when attacking you. So since you have disadvantage
because of blindness and advantage with reckless attack,
you just roll a normal attack.
Just try to hit the shadrow that messed you up.
What's up with them bones?
Them dry bones?
I'm gonna try to get over there.
That hits.
And I have my new axe
equipped.
Equipped.
Too bad there's no skellingtons here. That's why I was asking new axe equipped. What them bones? Equipped. Too bad there's no skeletons here.
That's why I was asking about them bones.
Skeletons.
On a hit, the wielder can choose one of the following as a bonus action.
Well, if I use my rage, is that a bonus action?
As a bonus action, yes.
So yeah, you have already used your bonus action.
Yeah, yeah, to rage.
Okay, well then, I'll roll for damage.
Roll that beautiful bean damage.
Get out of the way, stupid window.
It's me, Clippy.
I hear you're trying to kill a Shadrach.
Do you think that Shadrach's like,
don't waste your time on me.
Come on.
I wish I knew more Blink-183 songs.
I just don't.
What's my age again?
That's 17.
Plus my rage, so 20.
20 points of slashing damage.
That's an axe, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
20 points of damage to this Shadrach.
Ouch.
Do I hear him die?
Oh, right.
Die?
No, this is the first time he's been attacked.
Okay.
Well, then I will do it again.
Recklessly.
So are you saying if that guy had faked his own death,cklessly so sorry seeing if you heard that guy
Hit the ground what if we all play dead well they stop attacking
stiff and fall.
That's a 22.
22.
Only your first attack is reckless?
When you make your first attack on your turn.
I only rolled once.
Let's do a second roll to see if that second attack hits.
I'm at disadvantage.
Would you say he's feeling this?
Oh.
Well, that was a crit.
Since you have disadvantage, we take the worst one,
which is not the crit, which would still hit.
I just have a list of Blink-182 songs open
that I'm going to keep referencing the titles of during this episode.
And that's eight points.
Plus three, so 11.
11 points of damage.
Nice.
Ouch.
You hear the Shadrow's raggedy breath,
so you know it's still alive.
Give us a taste of that, guys.
I need my inhaler.
And I'm blinded and I'm trying,
hey, hey, hey Bart, what's my age again?
Stop.
15, right?
No, I think it's 16.
Oh, happy birthday.
Thank you, it was a while ago.
It was a year ago. It was a year ago.
It was at least two years ago.
Anything else, Gum Gum?
No.
All right. Why don't you go ahead and make me another wisdom throw to see if your sight is back.
Saving throw?
Yes.
Show me the vision.
Three.
Three.
Show me the not gonna happen two no i'm so sorry how does that happen like predicted that happening in my head
i was like he's gonna roll a three or lower as this one i still wanted it to happen what a waste
of an inspiration time pleasant trees patrons of the stinky dragon Start the new year off by telling someone about the show.
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We might name an NPC in the show after you.
Oh my God. All right. Is that it for you GumGum?
Yeah, I can't see myself doing anything else.
Oh god.
He says, who's that?
Well, what happens that he failed that?
He's still blind.
He's like trying to break the blindness.
I didn't know if something else bad happened. No.
Okay, it's the Shadrow in the center's turn, the one that you lined up, that Kyber lined up the shot with.
That was a saving throw?
Yeah.
Why?
Get like advantage.
I could use my unstable backlash
because if I fail a saving throw,
I can use my reaction to do another roll.
Do it, do it.
All right, I'll do that.
Gus is cool as it.
I think you should get your reaction.
So this is your reaction,
which you've already used.
Okay, gotcha.
I just saw a star go over Gus's head with a rainbow
with the words, the more you know.
Gus majored in rules.
Oh, God.
Yeah, but I went to a party college. He majored in
rules.
That was Gunga. Lining up that Shadrach.
The Shadrach from the middle.
It's mad at
Kyborg. Kyborg attacked it. You lined
it up. What do you mean? What did you do?
You just filled it with arrows.
There's only two because the other one went through them.
Yeah, but can he shoot with his arrow since I'm within melee range?
Different one.
Oh, yeah.
And you're at the one at the north anyway.
What's it going to do?
So Gum Gum's over there.
Kyborg's over there.
I'm just trying to, I'm building my own mental image.
My own Gum Gum mental map.
This one's going to fire one of those shards at Kyborg.
Hits AC 19.
I'm going to use that shield thing.
Really?
I mean, it's going to blind me.
Maybe.
We can make a saving throw.
Gus smirked as he said that.
Do it. No, okay. Then I'll wait. I'll wait. I'll wait. I'll do the saving throw. Gus smirked as he said that. Do it.
No, okay, then I'll wait. I'll wait. I'll wait.
I'll do the saving throw. What is the DC on the saving throw?
I'll never tell.
What's the saving throw? Well, hold on. Let me
do my damage first.
Let me do my thing. Do you guys all
use dark mode on your D&D beyond?
I do. I do. I'm a psycho who doesn't use dark mode.
I switched Barbra's to
dark mode once and then you noticed immediately he switched it noticed immediately because i also load your profiles and it's the same yeah oh so if you load
my profile and change it to dark mode it'll change on my computer it happened to you once before well
sorry about that uh the shard hits you doing 12 points of damage uh kyborg and you need to make
a wisdom saving throw here it comes the best saving throw ever
i'm having a hard time this little that's a 12 nope nope 15 nope nope he's a melt he's uh he's
got kind of a broken laptop right now use your finger god i feel like such a boomer it's funny
on dnd beyond they call it under dark mode oh do they yeah that's funny what do they call the
light version it's just default like it's only toggle under dark mode on Oh, do they? Yeah. That's funny. What do they call the light version? It's just default. Like, it's only toggle
under dark mode on or off. And you said
wisdom saving throw? Yeah. Okay.
DC 25.
What? I'm kidding. Doesn't matter.
I'm kidding. Doesn't matter. No, five, but I have
the advantage on, uh...
Saving throws?
Yes, yes, yes. No, on constitution saving
throws. Oh, unless...
Lady!
I have another thing called Indomitable!
You can reroll a saving throw that you fail.
You must use the new roll.
You can use this once for a long rest.
So I'm gonna do that. I'm assuming that I just failed that saving throw.
Oh, a five? Yeah, absolutely.
Okay, alright.
You don't have to do so.
What was that? Wisdom saving throw?
19!
Oh, yeah, you take damage and you feel like a pain in your head and your vision kind of closing down to a point,
but then it expands and you manage to keep your vision.
Good.
I go cross-eyed for a second and I'm like, oh no, my eyes!
Just kidding!
I'm fine!
Well, the shadrow does not look like it's kidding when it fires a second shot at you.
Oh my god!
Multi-attack, they multi-attack.
26.
Is that the hit?
Yeah, even with the shield thing, I can't.
No.
No!
I refuse.
I use lucky.
Oh.
But I already queued up my damage.
Okay, fine.
Gus is sitting there going.
Yeah, he wanted to give.
I just wanted to hit you guys.
So I have to re-roll my attack roll?
That's right.
And I get to choose which dice.
So, like, I re-roll one time?
Yes.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, you have three lucky points for long rest.
I'm just making sure because you said you got...
Oh, I rolled better.
28.
Oh, my God.
Not a good day for the infinites.
I'll take the 26.
There you go.
Alright.
All of a sudden we wake up and we're warming our bed
and it was all a dream.
Alright, you take 24 points
of damage. I'm wearing that little
sleep mask, which is why he's blind.
And you must make
another wisdom saving throw.
Come on, man.
John, are we going to be in a situation where our whole party's blind except you and me?
Yeah.
You said 24?
Damage?
Yeah, 24.
That hurts.
That hurts real bad.
All right, wisdom saving throw.
Well, you might take a little nap here.
Well, that's what you roll, Kai.
I can't see it from over here.
Three.
Ka-book-da-mighty.
Lucky! I am lucky! How many of these like saving throw dice things that you have can you get rid of two out of three? I know you will also use that indomitable thing. Oh and so 14
With the failure yeah
Come on.
Come on.
He's got it.
That's a failure.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
No.
No.
God.
You all made fun of us who have high wisdom modifiers.
Okay, fine.
I can work with this.
I can make this work.
I don't need to see to shoot a bow and arrow.
You might be knocked prone.
We'll see. I don't need to be standing up and see things to shoot a bow and arrow.
Even is your eyes.
Odd is your feet.
Oh. Oh. Odd. Yeah. The shard hits you and it knocks you prone. up and see things to shoot a bow and arrow even is your eyes odd is your feet oh oh
odd yeah the shard hits you and it knocks you prone you fall and you're prone on the ground and i say yes your face down and your fist just comes up in the air like the end of breakfast
like freeze frame on your hand this is the story of a lonely guy
is that another blink reference they're so obscure i don't know i don't know
i don't know blink yeah they're playing in austin uh july yeah it's only like six hundred dollars
each ticket all right that was it for its turn so kyborg is prone over there gum gum is blind
over there mud is mud really hasn't moved you're still at the same starting spot, right? Yeah.
Let's do it in a puzzle. Yeah, and then Bart has moved
in that direction, thinking about them
bones. Dead bones. Let me jump down bones.
Wait, what bones? There were bones to the north.
Like a boom chest.
I was going to say box.
Lots of bones. Okay.
Is it Mud's turn finally? No, it is
not. Thank you for inquiring.
It is Bo Link's turn finally? No, it is not. Thank you for inquiring. It is Bolink's turn.
I thought he left.
He disappeared.
And he reappears behind Mud.
Gosh, dang it.
I smack him.
Emerging from the shadows.
I smack him.
He dodges it.
You didn't even roll anything.
He's good.
You didn't either.
He pulls out a short scythe.
You already have inspiration die, right?
I gotta save those.
Oh, no, you don't have an inspiration die.
Oh, no, I used it! I used it!
You got an inspiration die. That's a good job. Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd, Judd,, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud,
Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud,
Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud,
Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud, Bye bye real HP. How much? 18 points of necrotic damage. So 11 plus 18?
Yeah, 29.
Oh my god.
Damage.
And he takes a second slash with that scythe, hitting AC 16.
Yo, I think that misses.
Yes.
No, it does not. I am very unarmored.
What is your AC?
It would be 15. It says 13 right now, but I'll explain why, but it's 15.
26 points of slashing damage.
In addition to the 18?
Yeah.
And 25 points of necrotic damage.
51?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Dragon scale for that last one.
I'll use it.
Plus five AC would miss.
Yes, that would miss.
So then you don't take the last two damages I just said.
So that was just a one-time thing, right?
Yep.
Yeah, he blew it.
But hey, we're at block 51 points.
I'll take it.
Yeah, it's a pretty good little shield.
Yeah.
And we each have one of those?
Yes.
Once.
So we each have one, sorry.
Right.
Bolink looks at you with rage in his eyes, upset at you pulling that shield out and cheating
him from the damage that you wanted to cause.
Go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw.
I have advantage.
That's only a 13, but this will be 16.
16.
I think that's a success.
You feel a core of fear and dread take root in your heart,
but you managed to shake it off.
You felt like running away and hiding and abandoning your friends,
but your senses got the better of you, and you stay and hold your ground.
They were trying to make me afraid?
Yeah.
Okay.
Mud's always thinking about abandoning his friends, though.
It's just Monday.
Monday.
Oh, nice.
Well, it is Mud Day because it's Mud's turn.
Hey.
Mud, Mud, Mud.
My turn.
He's our man.
Okay, so Bo Link is on my butt.
So Mud's going to cast Summon Elemental Spirit.
And I'm going to cast it at a six level slot.
And I'm going to summon a Water Elemental.
They're my friend.
And I want to summon them, I guess, right on them.
Right next to Bo Link. Okay. And on them, right next to Bowling.
Okay.
And their initiative is right after mine.
Okay.
So as a bonus action, Mud's going to,
I was looking this up and then you called on me finally
because I realized I wanted this for my bonus action.
Bonus action, I want to use the Combat Wild Shape.
Okay.
And I'm going to turn into a polar bear.
Ooh, it's like lost.
4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42.
There you go. Why do I still remember those numbers?
It's so useless.
I don't need that. I forget my youngest
child's birthday sometime.
If only it was 418. Yeah,
I wish. Cool.
So then the water elemental gets to go now
and look really cool.
Why is D&D Beyond not working?
I want to know what a polar bear is.
It's like multiple screens pulled out for D&D Beyond.
Well, because I got a lot of stuff to look up.
I'll figure out what a polar bear does in a second.
I'll help you.
Thank you.
So my water elemental gets to take three attacks.
That seems OP.
It is, but I cast at level six.
It takes as many multi-attacks as half the spell slot I use it at.
So real fast, Polar Bear gets two attacks, one with bite, one with claw.
Yeah, I'll find it.
Okay.
It's just the browser wasn't working.
There it is.
I got it.
Okay.
Yeah, I remembered I had multi-attack, which is why I wanted to do it.
And a good amount of temporary HP.
So I slam into the space jam.
Come on and slam.
Okay.
So you slam Bolink.
Yeah, so it's my hit die.
No, wait, my attack is plus five.
So it is D20.
That's only a six.
Wait, what?
No, sorry.
Plus five, 11.
That misses.
Let's do another one.
Shockingly.
It's 21.
Bad hits.
Okay.
Can I just roll the other one since I'm on D20s? Why not? Okay. That one's only of eight. Shockingly. It's 21. Bad hits. Okay. Can I just roll the other one since I'm on d20s?
Why not?
Okay.
That one's only of eight.
That misses.
Okay, cool.
And then, sorry, I got to go back to my elemental to find out.
It is 1d10 plus four plus the spells level bludgeoning damage.
So 1d10 plus 10.
So it's not going to be a ton.
It might be.
1d10 plus 10. You get up to 20. 14 total. Pretty good. Bludgeoning damage, so 1d10 plus 10. So it's not going to be a ton. It might be.
1d10 plus 10.
You get up to 20.
14 total.
Pretty good.
Bludgeoning damage.
On Bolink.
And then I would like it to move into Bolink's space and whelm Bolink.
Whelm?
Like he's not overwhelmed.
He's just whelmed.
Yeah.
Where is it?
Where is it? Where is it?
Where is it?
Yeah.
Each creature in the elemental space must make a DC 15 strength saving throw on a failure.
One target takes 2d8 plus 4 bludgeoning damage.
Okay.
So you said strength saving throw.
Yes.
Okay.
Rolling that. This is a plus 5.
17.
Okay.
Don't worry about that. All right. And I'm a bear. And a roar at. 17. Okay, don't worry about that.
All right.
And I'm a bear and a roar at Bow Link.
Ooh, make an intimidation check.
Yeah.
They can pee his pants.
Give me urine.
Show me urine.
I mean, that's an 18.
Oh, yeah.
You see the confidence disappear from his eyes for a brief second.
It's half ounce of urine.
Say you're in trouble.
You're in trouble.
You're in trouble. You're in trouble.
And it just sounds like.
I speak to your conic.
Maybe I do too.
Anything else, Mud?
No.
And that will already include your water elemental as well, right?
Yeah.
What's its name?
What's the name?
Glubby.
Glubby.
Glubby. Big fan. Glubby, Glubby.
Big fan.
Glubby.
Related to Glubber.
The water elemental.
All right.
Finally, it's Inku's turn.
Take that damage.
Oh, right.
I've written down right here.
Oh, dang.
20 damage from Cloud of Daggers.
Okay.
Don't think I forgot.
It was like an hour ago.
I have it written here.
I would have seen it during this turn, but I did not see it at that moment.
Okay, boom.
Note gone.
And she disappears into the shadows.
Oh, man.
And then reappears behind Bart.
That cloud of daggers could have come from anyone.
She leans in and whispers into your ear.
That was very naughty, Bart.
Kind of hot.
Bart goes, I like ASMR.
From under her cloak, it doesn't make any sense,
but she pulls out this giant scythe
and she takes a swing at you, Bart.
This will be the day I've waited for.
That was not a Blink-182 reference.
But that was good.
Ruby.
That hits AC 17.
Should I use the shield?
I feel like you're going to have multiple attacks.
Yeah, I just don't know what she's going to do.
Okay, I'm going to use that shield to increase my AC by five.
So that would not hit.
So what is your AC with that five?
20.
Okay.
Inku looks upset with you.
She wasn't before.
More so.
She was annoyed before.
Now she's angry.
That was really nuts.
I still like you when you're angry.
Well, let's see if she likes you.
She takes another swing hitting AC 29.
Well, yeah.
I don't know about shields are going to help you on that one, Bart.
Sorry.
That does.
Bart closes his eyes, so it feels like it hurts less.
It doesn't work.
39 points of slashing damage.
All right.
Plus.
Necrotic.
And 60 points of necrotic damage.
Well, I'm dead.
You're down.
Well, I had 56.
There's a difference of terminology.
You are down.
You are not dead.
I am down.
So I'm at zero HP?
Correct.
Jeez.
Inku smiles.
And that's all she'll do for now.
Okay, team.
They got that bones thing over there that we still need to figure out.
And that was Bart's mission, but Bart is down.
The Shadrow to the south.
It's turn.
Everyone's far from it.
Everyone moved away in the other direction.
Man, this one's kind of-
Is it purring?
Get it, mud. This one's not of... Is it purring? Dead at mud.
This one's not in the greatest of locations.
It's going to close the distance to try to get closer to Inku.
And, oh yeah, it'll take a shot at Gum Gum.
Hitting AC, 28.
That hits.
You sounded really excited about that, Gum Gum.
Doing 18 points of piercing damage.
Okay.
So, 9.
9.
And make a wisdom saving throw.
2.
Wait, you're blind still, right?
Yeah.
Make a wisdom saving throw to see if you knock prone.
Okay.
I guess I'll do that.
That's 12.
12.
You're knocked prone.
Okay.
The Shadrow fires another shard at you.
Okay.
These are tough. Hitting AC 24. That hits. Shadrow fires another shard at you. Okay. These are tough.
Hitting AC 24.
Remember, Jon said he felt bad for me.
The things had not been going my way in combat lately.
We invite that into our lives.
Thanks for manifesting that into reality.
I'm proud of my choices.
I'm fine.
What are you guys doing?
Hits.
Dying.
16 points of damage.
Piercing damage.
Eight. Yes. And you're already prone and blind so i mean
on the bright side you don't have to make a save you throw again i can't see it
dark to me the dark side which is also a blink-182 song
i hate this i hate it i won't be home for christmas
so it's Bart's turn.
I'm down.
Right.
But you have to make a roll to see if you stabilize.
I don't see where that is.
It's another blink when I do two seconds.
Oh.
So go ahead and roll a d20.
One to ten is bad.
Eleven to twenty is good.
Nine.
Nine.
No!
So check failure.
That's the faintest.
Cool.
It's okay.
It's okay.
We got you. Don't you worry It's okay. We got you.
Don't you worry, Bart.
I've got you.
Say that beautiful singing voice.
I've got the plan.
Getting cold.
No.
I shoot a flaming arrow at you.
I use my mage hand to give myself CPR.
I can slap you a couple times.
One last hurrah.
Hold my hand, mage hand.
I just found out I was a quarterling.
I'm going to die.
You're going to be a nunling.
Oh, zeroling.
A zeroling.
The Shadrow to the north.
Wait, why was I able to do that just now?
Is it after everyone's turn?
It was your turn.
So we've got a full circle.
That's your turn.
I thought I'm before Gum-Gum.
You are.
You're first in the initiative.
So after that last Shadrow, it came back up to the top of the initiative, which was your turn.
Gum-Gum hasn't gone again.
Oh, okay.
I thought he was doing his turn.
Gum-Gum took a damage.
Never mind.
Yeah.
And the Shadrow to the north.
Gum-Gum is close to them.
Oh, I know.
Come on.
Bring it.
Don't invite that.
I say from the ground blind.
That Shadrow unsheathes a blade that is pitch black and reflects no light.
Darksaber.
I couldn't see it anyway.
And it takes a swing at Gum Gum.
Chris's defiant face.
I wish everyone could see it.
Hitting.
Oh, AC 13?
That misses.
Yeah.
Wow.
I just have to check, though.
I'm blinded and prone. prone yes i don't think it affects
your ac i think when you're prone you do not get your dexterity modifier added to your ac
an attack roll against creature has advantage if they're within five feet oh because you're
prone so i get to roll again yeah oh thank you that was not very good for you but no it's not
very good for him to do that 15 uh misses Oh, well look see it worked out for you
Yeah, the shadow is not happy about it. I like to think it's like just striking down with a sword and you're just rolling around
You roll to the left and it swings down again you roll to the right we
Gum-gum has good hearing so
His other senses are heightened if he's blind right? Yeah. You can hear the air rushing aside as the sword comes down.
What's that character again?
That's like the Marvel hero that's blind.
Daredevil.
You become Daredevil.
Well, let's see if it happens again because it gets to make a second attack with that blade.
I rolled both times.
So the bear won 21.
That, I assume, is a hit.
21?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that is it.
This time, the Shadowhound has learned from its mistake, figures out which direction you're
rolling in, and connects for 23 points of slashing damage.
Okay.
So half of that.
Plus necrotic.
Necrotic damage.
Okay.
Well, what's that?
30 points of necrotic damage.
So 30 plus what was 23?
Half of 23.
Did I do 11?
We'll run it down.
That would be 11.
Okay.
So. 41. How you doing? All We'll run it down. That'll be 11. Okay. So.
A 41.
How you doing?
All right.
I really am.
All right.
That's its turn.
Kyborg.
Okay.
I'm going to try to run through this very quickly, but can you quickly give me a run
through of how I get up from prone and what's up with those bones?
Half your movement to be standing again.
Okay.
I do that.
So then you have half less movement.
And then the bones are, you'd have to wade through some of the purple liquid.
Because like I said, it's like resting on the precipice of a waterfall of this purpley liquid.
And it's further beyond this shadrow to the north.
What do I see with my beautiful green elven eyes?
Can I perceive anything about it?
Make a perception check then.
You got it.
It's a one. It's a one. We got a one, folks. Well got it. It's a one.
It's a one.
We got a one, folks.
Well, it's six, but...
It's kind of hard to find the box.
It's like blended in with the rocks that it's resting on.
It's really hard to make a distinction as to what it is.
I'm going to shoot those bones.
I have no other choice.
Yeah.
All right.
First of all, gift of the chromatic dragon.
Chromatic infusion.
I'm going to make my arrows opposite of necrotic.
What should I do?
Cold, sharing fire.
Lightning or fire?
Yeah, lightning.
I do lightning.
So you fire an arrow with gift of the chromatic dragon using lightning at the bone chest.
I keep wanting to say box.
At the bone chest. We know what you mean. You know it. Okay. Enter the bone chest. I keep wanting to say box. At the bone chest.
We know what you mean.
You know it.
Okay.
Enter the bone zone.
Make a bone saws ready.
There you go.
You made an attack roll.
20.
Okay, it hits.
I guess roll damage.
Okay.
What's the bone box's AC?
I feel like destroying the bone box
wasn't the solution for the puzzle.
All right, well, you know know I'm just trying to do something
We got it. We got a knockout options. Well, I've done what that's 1d for damage from the lightning
Oh, you got it. I have no idea what the boxes they see is Barbara to answer your question
I was like just roll if it's high we'll say it is if it's low we'll say no
I am like passed out right now, so this all sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher
The D force like a pyramid got it like Charlie Brown's teacher. In the background. Is it D8?
What is this?
The D4 is like a pyramid.
Got it.
Two!
So 10 points of damage?
Yeah.
What happens?
What happens, Gus?
What happens?
Paint us a vivid picture of what happens
when our good friend Kyborg
shoots a lightning arrow
at a box.
It seems like time slows down
as the arrow impacts the box
and the bones shatter
flying in every direction.
Out from inside the box,
you see a key start spinning in the air.
It falls precariously on the edge of the waterfall.
It seems like it could go at any second.
I didn't see that.
I don't have a lot of movement.
I don't have a lot of movement here.
How far away is it?
Cause I got half of 35, which is 17, 18.
Yeah.
Use the arrow you have that lets you shoot at things and bring them back to you.
You don't have like a mage hand type situation, huh?
It's a little further than that. I'd say it's probably like 35, 40 away or so.
And what's the, am I going to be opening myself up to attacks of opportunity?
If I like run beeline it straight towards it or, because I can, I can use an attack to further my movement. Is that correct? It's movement. It's movement. What do I can use an attack to further my movement.
Is that correct?
Movement.
Movement.
What do you mean use an attack to further your movement?
No, you can...
If you don't attack...
You can double dash.
Then you can double dash, but you can't...
Right.
That's your action.
You can't use a second attack.
Right.
You could try to wade through the water
or you could try to jump up onto some of the rocks
where that Shadrow and Gum-Gum are currently at.
You probably have enough movement for either of those, but that would only take you about halfway
to the key. Okay.
Well, I've already made
an attack, so I can't do movement.
Correct. Okay, so I
will do that. I'll make that movement.
Okay, so you're up on that little, which is
a jump, I assume, or do you want to
wade through and climb up there? No, I want to
jump. Okay.
So athletics or?
Yeah, just make an athletics check.
Or acrobatics, perhaps?
No, you didn't say a fancy jump.
If you were doing some kind of flip, I would say.
There's a cool flourish of the hands and the feet when I do it.
Jazz hands?
Yeah.
Okay.
Acrobatics then?
Okay.
Is your acrobatics roll better than your athletics roll? No.
Yes?
Yeah, sure.
Yes.
Just by one.
Still, that one counts.
23.
Oh, yeah, easily.
Touchdown!
Is this easy mode?
No.
No.
Bart's dying.
Okay.
I know Bart.
I know Bart.
Okay, so then, um, then, uh, who was the guy that inflicted a lot of damage, uh, that
wasn't-
All of them.
Bo-Link?
Bo-Link.
Bo-Bo.
Bo-Link attacked Mud. Okay.. Bow Link. Bow. Bow. Bow Link attacked mud.
Okay.
Bow, this is forever winter.
You are my sworn enemy.
And then I use the longer bow of crystallina on bow.
Okay.
Bow.
Bow.
Bow.
31.
That hits.
Okay.
And I do 10 points of damage.
Plus lightning.
Plus I have 4d6 on sworn enemies of cold damage.
But what about your lightning?
Is it still there?
Don't get into it.
Ice lightning.
What reckless abandon.
So that's 12.
Cold damage.
Okay.
Cold damage plus a d4 lightning damage.
That's four.
So that's 26.
Well, total.
Total.
Okay.
How's that?
How do you like that? Yeah, he looks cold and electrified at the same time. He does total. Okay. How's that? How do you like that?
Yeah, he looks cold and electrified at the same time.
He does not look happy.
Neat.
All right, I'm going to do it again.
I have three actions, or three attacks.
So I hit another arrow.
Ooh, baby.
That's a 32.
Ooh, baby.
All right.
And then I do one hit.
Seven piercing.
17 cold damage.
Nine plus 17.
26.
Plus a little bit of lightning plus a little bit of lightning.
A little bit of lightning.
So 27? Yes.
A little bit of kyborg in my life.
Okay, yeah, Bolink is not
happy about any of that. How are they like looking
looking though? Not great. Okay.
Action surge!
Yeah, I just want to get this guy out of here.
For the odd listener at home, Gus just rolled his eyes.
I'm not happy. I forgot about action surge this guy out of here. For the odd listener at home, Gus just rolled his eyes. I'm not happy.
I forgot about action surge.
You're killing my dudes.
All right.
Action surge.
Going to continue on with the longer bow of crystallina.
Boom.
Unbow Link again, I assume?
Yes.
30.
Yeah, that hits.
He's my mortal enemy.
46 ice damage.
Is that a crit?
No.
17 plus 13.
First, I'll do the piercing, which is 10.
And then the ice damage, which is 23, plus the lightning damage, which is...
46, and you got a 23?
Yeah.
6, 5, 6, 6.
Wow.
Damn.
Plus the lightning damage is one point, so that's a 34 total.
The power of Satan.
Kill Bolink.
Yeah, Bolink falls to the ground.
Unmoving. I don't have an enemy
next to me anymore. Are they dead?
He's unmoving. I'll make sure.
Down and unmoving. I'm technically
down and unmoving. He's dead.
And then I already used
Gift of the Chromatic Dragon, but with
Action Surge, that doesn't reset my bonus action,
does it not? No, I do
not believe so. Okay, well, you know, I I'm just gonna take another shot at bowling just to make
sure I think do it just to be to be clear I'll try to be cagey about it yet
don't waste it okay and then uh even though it's a disadvantage I have two
more attacks I want to use them against inku are you at disadvantage because
bowling wait your sworn enemy is down oh Oh, yeah. My sworn enemy is dead, so then I get to switch it.
Forever, Winter!
Can you switch it? Yes.
If they fall, the mechanic is
supposed to not punish you if you actually
succeed in killing your enemy.
Oh, God. But then they'll have advantage
against me. That's fine. That's fine. Kill one of the little
Shadrach. No, I'm going to go against Inku.
Inku, my sworn enemy!
I use my Longerbow Triumph against them. It's okay. It's not'm going to go against Inku. Inku, my enemy! I use my longer bow
triumph against them. It's okay. It's not like these
adds are totally killing us. 22.
Yeah, that hits her. Alright.
I do 13 points piercing.
18
ice and
3 lightning.
Marky's cast plot of daggers
ran to the chest, died.
He's going to wake up and everyone's going to be dead.
At this point, you're hearing Kyber yell a lot.
It's all just like hazy explosions and stuff like that.
So that is 34 total?
Yes.
And what was it again?
13, 18, 3.
Okay. 31, 34. Got it. Okay. And what was it again? 13, 18, 3, okay,
31, 34, got it. Okay, and then I'm gonna, oh god, I should have been rolling
twice this entire time, because I have advantage.
Well, you haven't missed, so. Okay, well then. It's been fine.
But you could have gotten a crit. Could have been
critted. Yeah. So this is 16,
and then I'm gonna roll that again.
17. Alright, so no crits. Yeah.
17, though? Oh, I thought you were doing your re-rolls.
Uh, 16, 17, no, those do not hit. I'm lucky so no crits. Yeah. 17, though? Oh, I thought you were doing your rerolls. 16, 17.
No, those do not hit.
I'm lucky.
Curses.
Curses.
For sure, the way that Tolkien wrote the end of The Hobbit, Bilbo goes the same thing.
I think he gets knocked out and then gets told the final fight by the dwarves.
So I'll just be like him.
Yeah.
And you're also a half-blood.
Quarterly.
A 19 hit.
Okay.
Doing piercing.
14. Plus ice. Oh, wait, no. I'm going to roll lightning just to mix it up. Haly. 19 hits. Okay. Doing piercing. 14.
Plus ice. Oh wait, no. I'm gonna roll lightning just to mix it up. Ha ha. 4.
Plus ice.
11. So that's
29. 29.
Okay. You have Inku's
attention. That's the end of my turn
so then I just wave.
Okay. Gum gum.
Yeah. You're rolling around. What are you gonna
do? You think Kyborg is What are you going to do?
You think Kyborg is close to you?
I do.
You smell him.
It smells like Axe body spray.
Is that the elf still near me that attacked me?
Yes.
How far away was Bart?
Bart was back across like some of that liquid back on the shore. Let's say from where you are 15, 20 feet or so.
If I use my immovable rod to teleport to Bart.
Okay.
I don't know, is there anything he could even do for me if I'm...
He could give you a potion to try to stabilize you,
and then that would like bring you back up
and you would no longer need to make the saving throws.
So we discussed changing the way we do potions
so that I can use it not as a main action or like, how does it work?
If I wanted to try and heal Bart.
We've gone a few different ways.
And normally when we encounter the situation, the party who you're giving it to is awake and able to assist you.
In this case, Bart is down and incapacitated.
So I would say it would take an action for you to pull it out and then to give it to Bart.
Okay.
And then using my immovable rod, that would take out my action.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
If you, I mean, I still have two more attempts
to save myself too.
This is also, I think Gum Gum would do this.
Oh yeah, okay, sure.
I'm going to say yes,
that would be an action to pull out
and use your immovable rod.
So that would use your action.
So you could get to Bart,
but you couldn't also give the potion as well this turn.
Okay.
Quick question.
How far is Bart from mud?
Not too far.
Bart just ran up a little ways from mud.
I'd say 20 feet or so.
20 feet to the east.
I've got Bart.
Don't worry about him.
I can't help but worry about him, but okay.
Then I guess I will stand up.
Okay.
Let's have my movement.
Yes.
And I will recklessly attack that
elf that's in front of me. Shadrow.
So that cancels out
and you end up even. Yeah.
Okay. That's 26. That
hits. Doing
17
points of damage. Ooh. You hear the Shadrow
grunt in pain. And it's
You can smell it still standing in front of you.
What's this smell like?
I like the sound of you smelling it too.
I feel like the Shadrow would have like
Axe Body Spray.
I just made that joke
while you were gone.
I said you smell Kyborg close to you.
It smells like Axe Body Spray.
It's just a
yeah, it gets its dark else.
Then I'm going to make ac 15 to make a saving throw
or be knocked prone what you're gonna make a read my balancing x on a hit the wielder can choose one
of the following oh i see what you said so you force the target to make a dexterity saving throw
or be knocked prone okay so that is a dc 15 dexterity saving throw. A Shadrow has a plus eight.
That is a 10.
Failure.
Yes.
So the hit from your balancing axe knocks the Shadrow down.
Okay.
And now I'm going to use my second attack to hit it again.
This time, also not at disadvantage because now it's prone.
Yes, correct.
So normally you would be at advantage, but because you're blind, you're disadvantaged,
so it cancels out. It's just normal attack.
19. That hits.
That's 17 plus
3, so 20. Nice.
The Shadrow is prone, not
because of your attack, but because it is dead.
Yay! It sounds
dead and smells it.
I don't say yay because I'm dead. Bye, GumGum.
I have to move back. A reference that so many people are not going to get. Aw, GumGum. dead and smells it i don't say yay because i'm dead i come go out i have a new episode
reference that so many people are not gonna get it
nope not even that see i don't think barbara knows what it's from i'm manning okay no i'm
making a joke that same people who did the hot pocket oh yeah so you've one-upped his
joke with your own hey i see your joke oh wait i. Oh, wait. I'm dead. Yes. Yes, and.
Yes, plus. I want to use my
remaining 20 feet of movement
to run towards Bart.
Run or jump. Remember,
there's kind of like that purplish liquid between you.
Well, I guess, is there any other guys
around me? I don't think so.
The closest one
is going to be Inku, who is by
Bart. Okay, and then that key, I don't even see it, so I couldn't go so. The closest one is going to be Inku, who is by Bart.
Okay.
And then that key, I don't even see it, so I couldn't go for it.
Correct.
You knew where the box was there, but you would have no idea what happened to it.
I'm going to go to Bart.
Okay.
Whatever.
If I can jump there.
You tell me.
Yeah, I'll jump there.
Jump onto Inku.
Nope.
Wait, nope.
Really quick, though.
If this key, is it for unlocking his box?
Don't worry about the key.
Don't worry about Bart.
I'm saying, like, if you ran to the parents,
I could throw you Hail Mary, the key, to you,
and you can unlock the parents if that's what it's supposed to be for.
I've got it.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You just got it.
Mud's got it.
Let the druid go.
What are you doing, Gum-Gum?
I'm going to jump to wherever Bart is.
Okay.
You jump over to Bart and Inku.
I don't know what else to do.
Yeah. Because I don't know
the key. That's fine. Anything else you want to do or are you
just closing that distance? I'll close the distance.
I don't suppose. I love
when a sentence starts with that. I could put my friendship
bracelet on Bart. That's got to be an action,
right? Or is it
a bonus action on the description? I already used my
bonus action. Yeah, he already used it. I was trying to think like
I might let it
slide as a bonus action but you
already used a bonus action so i'm gonna say no uh then yeah that's that's i'm out okay that's it
for gum gum it is the shadrow in the center's turn has that one been attacked at all yes that one has
been attacked it looks like a couple of times it's going to okay so gum gum just came back
bard is down ink is there. Inku's there.
Kyborg's over there.
Mud's over there.
Bolink's down.
It could go a couple of different ways. I think it's going to attack Mud because Bolink is down and Inku can take care of herself.
Do it.
Do it.
Yeah.
We're going to Bolink.
Or Jo.
Jo, thanks for voicing. Thanks for it.
Thanks for it.
It fires a shard at mud or I guess the polar bear.
Oh man.
There's also a water elemental.
Oh my God.
Oh wow.
Which one would it attack?
You can do whatever you want.
I can do either.
Even is polar bear oddest water elemental.
Polar bear.
All right. So it fires a shard at the Polar Bear, hitting AC
27.
That physically harmed John's stomach.
I just, the loudest
stomach growl just came out of me because I am
ready for food. Lunchtime soon.
24 points of piercing damage, and you must
make a wisdom saving throw.
You're making me get into too many screens.
You got this. You got that. That's easy.
What was it? A wisdom saving throw?
Yes.
Okay, I get advantage.
I don't think I'll need it.
27.
That's beautiful.
Yeah, that makes it.
Curses.
How much damage did you do?
24.
Okay.
I wish when it said custom roll,
it had a small indication telling you
which dice were rolled to get that roll
because then I have to go back and click at them.
Anyway.
All right.
So then is summon elemental a concentration spell?
Like, do you need to roll concentration
since you took damage there?
Pretty sure it's not.
I believe he just is.
Yeah. I don't think it is a concentration either.
I just want to verify that.
Summon elemental.
Uh, nope.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Cause it's just there.
It's like it has autonomy.
Oh, it is.
Concentration up to one hour.
Oh, it is.
Dang.
Oh, wow.
I didn't realize that.
That didn't make any sense.
I'll agree with you, but rules are rules.
He actually pushed up your glasses on that one.
Rules are rules.
Okay, what do you want to do?
Make a concentration check.
Concentration check.
You can do this.
You can do this.
Come on, man.
Wait, concentration?
Yeah.
Roll for concentration?
Is that in...
It should be a d20 plus the spell level plus...
Well, just roll a d20 and then I'll work on it. I think it's also plus the damage level plus... Well, just roll a d20
and then I'll work on it. I think it's also plus
the damage you took. I am going to use my
inspiration die on that. That was a one.
That was a one. That's not good.
That's a 12.
Spell was at six,
so 18 plus... The dc equals
10 or half the damage
taken, whichever number is higher.
You took 12.
All right, so then...
So I beat it.
Yeah, and it would be a constitution saving throw,
so then you add whatever your constitution
saving throw bonus is to it.
I'm already there.
Okay.
What was Water Elemental's name again?
Glubby.
Glubby!
Stay, Glubby.
So it's a successful check.
You feel that sense of dread come over you again.
It tries to cast fear fear on you make a wisdom
saving throw okay uh 27 or 19 so 27 yeah it does not take root you're too brave yeah i am thank you
okay what was that
do i get to go yeah it's your turn Oh man two turns in one episode
That's what I've assumed you kill one of the players or you down one of the players only reason
Farts down I take the shortest
Speaking of that Okay, Bart is ahead of me
How far?
You know the other part first How far, uh, you know, I'll deal with Bart first. Bart's breath is terrible.
I go up to Bart.
I would assume that using an item is an action, correct?
Usually.
We may have some leeway depending on what specifically you want to do.
Well, okay.
I'm going to use my eggless of equipping so that I can pull an item from me.
I'm a bear still.
Okay.
And so I'm going to pull an item,
and I want to pull the Mud's Totem of Restoration,
which allows me to...
I can expend a charge and use a bonus action
to cast Healing Spirit,
which will sit next to Bart.
Healing Spirit then allows Bart to roll for some health,
which is 1d6 plus whatever spell level you cast it at above second level.
I'm going to cast it at fifth level, so 4d6.
Okay.
Good, good.
I mean, right now?
Yeah.
Because that would bring him out of death roll, right?
Correct.
So it's 46.
Oh, six.
21.
Nice.
So if you do that, just for clarification, the elemental goes away.
But the item is the one that's casting it, isn't it?
It's a totem.
It can heal a number of times equal to one plus your spellcasting ability modifier.
So you pull out, you use the totem.
Because it keeps doing, is that not how that works? i'm trying to re is this our first time using it
so i don't think i've spent enough time acknowledging that i rolled a 21. on a 46.
that's 24 that's great that's like your role from before blaine yeah dude you killed it and if i may
i'm pretty sure that the elemental stays yeah yeah yeah well yeah yes, yeah, yes, we'll allow it. Yes. We'll allow it. Okay, we're pulling out
We'll allow it. I said Bart Wow a 21
Or just a thing where it goes
Think who says welcome back
God it's a shame that this is audio only.
The facial reactions from you guys.
Okay, I want to make it very clear.
Bart will roll that on Bart's next action.
It starts on your first place
when you are in the vicinity of the healing spirit,
which also means, Gum-Gum, your next action,
you need to roll as well for health.
Okay, so Bart is still down,
but will receive that healing that was already rolled. I could that yeah yeah it's a five foot cube so and it stays there for
okay i'll pretend i'm still seeing the skull on my yeah on my thing instead of my hp okay and then
now the water elemental to the key how much is ground how much is water so it's not just to
clarify it's not water it's like a purple liquid water. It's like a purple liquid. Okay, liquid. Yeah.
Just the first 25
feet or so are solid. Then after that
it becomes that liquid and then
there's a rocky crag
where the key is at the very end.
Okay, then I have to give you a little math
problem and I'm going to let you figure it out.
Excellent. Yes, I knew you'd like that.
He minored in math. The water elemental has a 30
foot land speed, 90 foot swim speed. Oh, okay. He minored in math. The water elemental has a 30-foot land speed, 90-foot swim speed.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, easily makes it.
Okay.
He's just not going to try that.
No, no, no, because it's just 20, and then that's like two-thirds,
so then you're left with a third.
That's another 30.
I think it has either a third.
I'm going to be good here and say I think it has either 30 or either 90.
It doesn't go 30 and 90.
Well, no, yeah. So it uses 20,
which is two thirds of 90,
which leaves a 30 of liquid.
Oh, okay.
So you're on the line.
Okay.
So it's at the key.
Yes.
It would be able to reach the key.
Yeah, it does.
It makes it easily
and it reaches the key.
Okay.
Does grabbing the key
count as an action?
No, I'll say no.
Okay.
Then he comes back to me and gives me the key.
I don't know if it has enough movement for that.
Well, you said...
It's 30 and 90. Oh, so it's
like it only double moves. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it does... Yeah, yeah.
Correct, correct. Okay. Yeah. Here, Clubby.
Yeah, so the water
elemental comes back and then
the last few feet
as it reaches you, it's like it almost
dissipates and it just becomes like a wave of water that pushes uh the key towards you my
glove he's gone gone what dropping the key at your feet but the key looked like he was surfing
it's real tabular why why did it disappear i don't know do know? Can you communicate with it? Yeah. It felt pain when it was in the fluid.
Oh.
Oh.
I don't feel so good.
Interesting.
Okay, don't touch the fluid.
And so the key...
Catwalk's drinking out of it.
The key laps up at your feet.
It's a really weird material.
It's almost like it's shifting.
It's kind of like inky black key.
You would swear it's a fluid, but it's really not.
It's solid.
Can I pick it up?
Yeah.
I pick it up.
Make a wisdom saving throw.
Okay.
I'm glad this is you, not me.
The wisdom saving throws?
Yeah.
That is either 21 or...
21.
Yeah, 21.
Again, you feel that fear
try to take root inside of you
just from holding this key in your hand.
It conjures up awful images in your mind's eye, which you're able to push it away.
M is for mud.
M is for might not get afraid.
M is for mind's eye.
It's for mighty.
All right.
Mud yells out, I've got the key!
My key!
Thank you and all the others.
Anything else, Mud?
No, I'm next to Bart and that's it so you're next to bart and gum gum who came
over and inkoo yeah god i hope you don't have aoe okay oh it's inkoo's turn yay i'm still down
yes you are still down why did you give him that idea blade
okay so would you heal from the thing not until their turn i gotta yeah top top of your turn
inkoo does not like that you have the key mud so she fixes her attention on you and she's
gonna attack you with her sight okay hitting ac 21 yes Doing 37 points of slashing damage.
Okay.
And, yes, and 48 points of necrotic.
Oh, 85?
Yeah, 85.
I believe I'm still standing.
And knock the polar bear out.
Oh, I am no longer the bear of the polars.
I'm a very, very hurt druid.
Well, let's see if we can make you a very, very dead druid.
Okay.
How dare you?
She attacks again, hitting AC 16.
Just barely.
Barely?
No, we're not bears anymore.
No bear puns.
Yeah, barely.
Doing 39 points of slashing.
I'm down.
Okay, no point in continuing.
Inku smiles.
No one's there to see it.
I'm there. I just can't see it. No one can see.
Wait, Kyborg can.
He's not there.
He's not close enough.
I'm staring out from the distance because Inku was like, I see you.
And then I'm like, oh, uh, it's not.
So now what's he gonna do?
So Inku's in our space.
Correct.
So Inku makes the attack.
Mud goes down.
In an annoyed voice, Inku shouts,
Enough of these games! He waves her bony fingers and everything suddenly goes black.
Kaibor, you feel the power drain from your body and you feel like something's wrong. You know
your diadem is gone. Amidst the darkness, you hear Inku call out, You were never truly going to win the day, Bartholomew.
But don't worry, you'll get what's coming to you.
Hugh Manor, who did nothing the entire fight, Hugh Manor chuckles.
Indeed, the end is coming.
I've seen it, and I promise none of you are ready for it.
Shall we, my love?
Inku snaps her fingers and you hear a crack of thunder. None of you are ready for it. Shall we, my love?
Inku snaps her fingers and you hear a crack of thunder.
Gum-Gum, you can see again.
I guess, Kyborg, you can see as well.
But Inku, Hugh, and the Shadrow are gone.
The swirling portal you entered earlier is beginning to fade.
Are we in combat?
No.
Okay, then can the healing spirit do some stuff?
The healing spirit, I guess, would proc and everyone would, who was around it, would heal.
Healing spirit lasts for a minute and you can cast a spell that takes 10 seconds, right?
Around to six seconds.
Around to six seconds. Yeah.
So the healing spirit could technically cast the heal thing, what, 10 times?
10 times.
Okay.
So we're at full health. That being said, the portal you entered
is beginning to fade, and it seems like it's
not going to stick around very long. Then it goes off
at least once. Okay.
And you get 21, you need to roll
for 4d6, and I
will roll for 4d6. So, should I run?
We should probably all run for the portal.
Yeah, they need heals to get them back
up and out. No, I think I'm good now.
Yeah, and then we just need to all sprint.
I have 19 health.
And I got 21 from that roll.
As you all are healing, you hear shouts from the southeast corner of the cavern.
You're perfect.
It's your parents.
Oh, gosh.
They're here.
You need to go get them.
I'm going with you, right?
Let's go.
Yeah, Bart runs up to his parents.
I run to assist.
Like I said earlier, they're bound and held in place there,
but when you touch the key to their bindings,
the bindings slip away.
And does the key disappear too?
Yes.
I assume you take them and escape.
So you all pass through the portal
and arrive back in the heart of Mount Sayamoto.
Chromatic fluids swirling with color all around you.
Duncan is pacing at the entrance of the cavern while morning light peeks through the mouth of
the cave. He perks up at the sight of you. Oh, thank die. You made it back, my friends.
It's so good to see your faces again. Hurry, come and see, come and see.
Duncan waves you all over to the entrance. We go and see.
Yeah, yeah.
You exit the cave and the radiant rays of the sun never felt warmer on your weary skin.
You look out all across
the provinces of totora and you see countless dragonborn defeating what's left of the shadra
as they recoil in the sunlight at the base of the mountain you see all four ancient dragons
surrounding lodoria each exhaling their elemental breath in a cone around her her scaly body is
consumed and dissolves in a mist of shadow that That was the other dragon. That was the one that was chasing us.
Yeah, it was the one that had been chasing you before.
Yeah, remember that quick death event?
A wrinkled halfling clears his throat.
Bart?
It really is you, isn't it?
But you're so grown up.
Am I not dreaming?
The dragonborn that's with him says,
I'm afraid we've been tortured with the worst
fears and nightmares imaginable
for what can only be described as
an eternity.
It is
difficult to believe that
this is all truly happening.
Dad?
Forgive us, Bart.
We weren't there for you.
For years, it seems.
And, well, we never stopped loving you, son.
It seems Daya has given her family a second chance.
A new day to finally make things.
Omar stops and stares at Gum-Gum.
I feel as if I know you. Hi, I at Gum-Gum. I feel as if I know you.
Hi, I'm Gum-Gum.
Jim Sutton, look.
Surely it couldn't be him, right, Omar?
After all these years.
I'm a flower wizard.
But his eyes does have the same eyes.
I have eyes?
They're crossed.
Dear boy, I believe we're your godparents.
Dads?
Find out in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
I want to congratulate Kyborg.
Because out of the four of us,
he's the only one who doesn't have daddy issues.
He's got mommy issues.
Oh. Yeah.
I miss Grisdalina.
I hug my bow.
I can't even process what all just happened.
I cast a cloud of daggers
and then it popped out of existence
until it was all done.
Well, let's explore more
about what's going on with Bart's family next time.
Here's a quick shout out to folks interacting with us on social media recently.
Here's some of the NPCs named after them in this episode.
Ladoria the Shadow Dragon was named after Atla Ladoria.
And Bolink the Shadrow was named after AtlinkIB.
We also want to give a special thanks to some friends who provided voiceover for characters in this episode.
Like Inku, who's voiced by Raquel Lily.
Hugh Manor, voiced by Achievement Hunter's Trevor Collins.
Bolink, voiced by Achievement Hunters Trevor Collins, Bo Link voiced by Achievement Hunters Joe Lee, Omar Finn
voiced by Funhouse's Jacob Fullerton
and SimSun Finn voiced
by Squad Team Forces BlizzBear
Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales
from the Stinky Dragon Thank you.