Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Paralyte's Poison - Ep. 42: The Internights!
Episode Date: March 23, 2022Trapped in a memory of the Infinights, the interns are close to finding the origins of their powers, paralyte, and perhaps where to find their friends being held prisoner. Follow us on Social Media...! https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This Friday
What is this place?
In these woods, we are prey.
The Watchers allow us to live because we follow their rules.
You can't see them, but they see everything.
No one sees one and survives.
From producer M. Night Shyamalan.
Written for the screen and directed by Ishanah Night Shyamalan.
Let them see you.
What are they doing?
Applause.
For you, Mina. The Watchers, Friday. them see you what are they doing applause for you mina the watchers friday
this is a roosterteeth production
Good day to all you Duo Drones.
Pull your pots into the Stinky Dragon.
Partake in our latest potable, the Cogtail.
It's a mixture of oil, drum rum, tin can ginger, a cup of gold brew topped with your choice of nuts or bolts.
One sip of this riveting refreshment
will loosen your screws faster than you can say righty-tighty.
Previously, our
adventurers volunteered for Dr.
M's dreamery experiment,
delved into the recesses
of sleek and spectral's past.
They arrived as none other
than the internites.
Get it? Interns?
Nice, I like that.
Inspiration died to you, Gus.
Thanks. Anyway, they had that. Inspiration died to you, Gus. Thanks.
Anyway, they had a minor accident in Boulder,
a drawn-out discussion in the Elder Pines,
and now find themselves in deep waters with nowhere to go.
Hold on to your hardware.
Let's gear up for this nail-biter. You know what we never have in this show?
What?
You never hear dice rolling.
Mmm.
Oh, I think John's reaching for his dice.
What's he got?
I have some metal dice.
You doing folly work?
Micah takes exception to that.
He says he has included it a few times.
Oh.
Mmm. I was going to say, that's the one thing that I noticed. He says he has included it a few times. Oh.
That's the one thing that I noticed. ASMR. Let's get the dice roll ASMR. Chef Mike
sent us some metal ones, so I'm gonna
see if this will pick it up.
Okay. Yeah. Ready?
It just sounded like
Yeah, that sounded like a
Minecraft, like a rock exploded.
I think the noise gate is stopping it.
I think it's also just too heavy to do the roll.
How about I hum a little bit?
I'll...
Oh, that was good.
Yeah, that was good. My knees got weak on that one.
That was good. What was it?
Eight. Oh, that's not that good.
24. Wow.
You rolled a 24? On a 20-sided
die? You don't know.
Gus, do you own a 100-sided die?
I used to at one point. I do not anymore. I don't know. Gus, do you own a 100-sided die? I used to at one point.
I do not anymore.
I don't know what happened to it.
We should get a 100-sided die,
and at the beginning of every recording,
we each roll the 100-sided die,
and if it lands on a specific number,
our character is dead.
No.
Wow.
Yeah, like, you can have the option.
If it lands on a 100, you get something really good,
but if it lands on a 1,
then your character starts the episode dead.
So then we need to make sure that Ben rolls at least three times at the beginning you get something really good. But if it lands on a one, then you, your character starts the episode dead.
So then we need to make sure that Ben rolls at least three times at the beginning to increase the chances of sleek dying.
I have a game related question I want to ask real quick.
And this was pointed out by one of our viewers.
So how long were you on that pirate ship for?
Because one would assume it would at least be a few days and we would have
slept at least at some point.
We never got a long rest.
Oh, that's true. Yeah, it would have be a few days and we would have slept at least at some point. We never got a long rest. Oh, that's true.
Yeah, it would have been a few days. I think I saw that comment
as well. But this whole
dreamscape is counting as the long rest.
Sure. Probably afterwards
though. Not currently.
We don't have access to our spells anyways right now.
Correct. You're in a dream.
It's like you're getting rest.
Yeah.
I mean, knowing you guys' track record, though,
as soon as we wake up,
we're going to be waking up to an ambush of some sort.
So I think it's only fair that we have a long rest right now.
I mean, yeah, you maybe should have had a long rest
after the boat ride.
But yeah, you're sleeping now,
and it wouldn't matter
because you're not in your regular body.
So we'll deal with that in a future time.
Copy that.
All right.
We ended the last episode with the water starting to darken and twist into two narrow eyes and a gaping mouth.
That was murmuring.
Kuk-ta-ni-zu-wa.
You guys, I'm going to charge at you all.
Let's go ahead and just for fun, roll some
initiative just to kind of keep things in order.
Just for fun. What the heck?
Just for fun. That's what we're doing. We're playing D&D. We're having fun.
Thirteen.
Eight. Four. Twenty-one.
Nice.
I'm going to roll for Kupdani Zua
here. That's his name?
Kupdani Zua.
As far as we know. Yeah, as far as
you know. This is actually Smush.
Smarsh's cousin.
It does feel like
an appearance of a character in a movie
where they couldn't afford the rights to the original ones.
They write one that's very, like, you know,
parallel. You know what I mean?
I think they did that in a Mortal Kombat movie.
Did they? Maybe. I can't
remember. Or it's like in a He-Man movie when they got, like, the dude that has, it looks like Lockjaw, but he's not Lockjaw.
Okay.
Anyways.
So, regardless of that, Bart, you're up first.
I am.
And remember, there's those glyphs under you.
There's this thing outside, kind of, looking at you all.
I've touched two buttons so far.
There have been two buttons touched.
One opened up an opening and let water in,
and the other one shot lightning bolts all around.
Hey, when it shot...
Sorry, Barbara, go ahead.
Oh, no, you asked your question first.
Oh, I was going to say,
when it shot lightning bolts at us,
did anybody go...
I'm so glad I allowed you to...
Barbara, thank you for letting him go first.
Real glad. Real glad I let you to barbara thank you for letting him go first real glad real glad i let you uh jump in there uh do we do we have uh we don't have access to our spells currently do we so we
haven't explicitly gone over how your character sheets work while in the dreamery you keep all
of your ability scores and modifiers from your regular character so like what blaine was asking
earlier like you still roll with kyborg's modifiers you don't roll with spectral and modifiers from your regular character. So like what Blaine was asking earlier, you still roll with Kyborg's modifiers.
You don't roll with Spectral's modifiers.
Gotcha. You can also use any
non-magical items or
weapons that you have in your equipment.
So nothing special. That's
all mundane stuff.
If you had access to spells, you can use your
cantrips, but none of the other spells.
Dang. I was hoping I could use tongues to try to
understand what that thing was saying.
That would be useful.
We can use cantrips? I don't think
I have any sort of understanding
of language in my cantrips.
And then the last one you could use.
Features and traits are at my discretion.
So it's like I'm going to try to keep it
not broken for this.
What about my
trait of being able to turn into animals?
Uh, no.
It's a class feature.
Who are you again?
You are...
I'm Bo.
Bo.
No.
He's Bo.
For sure.
Okay, so we're in this area with the different glyphs,
and then there's this, like, creature that's saying things just outside of this area.
Yes.
I'm just trying to like get my bearings.
Okay.
Touch a button.
I was gonna see if there's like,
could I do a perception check
to see if there's like any sort of like clues
or guide as to what these buttons might mean?
Hmm.
That's an interesting one.
Sure.
Why don't you roll a, let's call it just for fun, an intelligence check.
Intelligence.
I rolled a 16.
Yeah.
I mean, you would figure something out.
I'll say that in looking at them, you know, you obviously know that each glyph corresponds to some kind of function in this dome that you're in.
Okay.
And we've so far pressed the zigzags and the quadrant.
Yes.
Could I try pressing the wavy lines?
I think Gum Gum's about to say something super helpful.
Quadrant.
Wait your turn, Gum Gum.
You said the wavy lines, Barbara?
The wavy lines, yeah.
So those are the two wavy horizontal lines in the top right.
You hear a hissing sound.
Could I tell what's happening?
We're losing air.
We're losing air.
The oxygen's leaving.
It seems like you're having to struggle more to catch your breath.
Why are these buttons?
Okay, I'm going to stop pressing the button.
Push it again.
Push it again.
I push it again then.
After you push it, then you push it the
second time, the hissing stops
and then it restarts, but it seems like
it's not as much of a struggle to breathe
anymore. Is this their execution
chamber? Is this where they put prisoners
in to die? Because three out of the four
of these buttons just kill us. Yeah.
Maybe you got one more button left to press.
The fourth one.
But I don't know if that's like the end of my turn or not.
It's probably fire.
I'll say one button at a time.
Well, I mean, if you're not going to move or do anything else,
then I'll say you can push another one.
Just do it.
What do you guys?
Just do it.
We might as well see what all of them do.
We're a curious little group,
so I'm going to press the last button there.
The three lines with the lip at the end. Yeah.
You press the three
straight lines with the lip on them
and the water that was
already in the bottom of the dome,
remember like I said when John opened up the dome
water came, the water that was already in
there begins to drain out and disappears.
Interesting. Guys,
what if we press that button and the
quadrant button at the same time, because then it'll open, but button and the quadrant button at the same time?
Because then it'll open, but the water will drain out at the same time.
So is that a way to escape?
How do you escape via that?
I guess I was confused.
I guess the opening isn't really an opening big enough to get through, huh?
Well, water's just rushing in.
Yeah, it would be difficult.
Well, Bart's got something here because it would be a nice fixture.
It'd be a nice waterfall.
It'd make things really serene and calm in there, you know, just having a flow of water.
It is good to know that that drains
so that if we do get filled up with water,
we could shut that off and drain it at any point.
Yeah.
That creature that's attacking us, it's underwater, right?
So couldn't we drain the water?
With the creatures outside and it hasn't made an attack,
it just said,
Right?
Correct. It has only spoken so far.
So, I mean, we don't, you know,
maybe we still
being friends.
I was not trying to set that
up, by the way. But, yeah,
there's no reason to think that that thing's gonna kill
us. I don't know.
It's opening its mouth and
coming at us.
Who's to say?
Yeah, that could be good too. Yeah, it could be
trying to kiss us. Open mouth kiss.
Yeah, that's how I
always do when I'm like approaching someone because
just open my mouth and approach
them. Open your mouth, close your eyes
and just hope for the best. Exactly.
John, you gotta think more optimistically.
You know, not everything's out here to kill us.
Gus and Micah love us and they're just trying to be friends.
When it comes to underwater creatures, I assume everything underwater wants to kill you.
Well, there's always a bigger fish.
All right.
Well, I think that's...
Oh my God.
That's probably my turn.
I don't really know what else to do.
So if the next person wants to take it away.
All right.
That is it for bard's turn uh next
is kuptani zua's turn then after they go it is mud's turn just fyi okay this face is just on the
outside of the dome looking at you from what you can make out it looks like it's two eyes and a mouth, like a gaping mouth. And again, it says,
Kutanezuwa.
And then as it is saying that,
it opens its maw really wide
and takes a bite out of the dome that you all are in.
And the entire dome pops out of existence.
Water rushes in and you all are now underwater.
What?
Okay, rules of engagement.
We can attack it now.
Unless it was trying to free us from the dome.
Oh, just as a quick primer,
I don't, you know, we haven't really been underwater
in the past. If you're moving
underwater, you get half movement speed.
And you can hold your breath
for a number of minutes equal to
one plus your constitution modifier.
So, for example,
Bart, your constitution modifier is plus, for example, Bart, your constitution modifier is
plus two. So you can hold your
breath for three minutes.
Make sense? So three rounds.
Rounds are actually really fast. A round is
about six seconds.
So we got two episodes worth
of breathing.
So you actually do have plenty of time.
And are we able to tread water?
I wouldn't think you would have to worry about that necessarily.
Gear like stuff that you have on you is going to hold kind of weigh you down anyway.
Okay.
So you will float a little bit, but it's not like you're going to pop up to the surface.
You're going to be pretty much down at the bed of the lake still.
And then last question, because we're underwater, does that mean we can't talk?
Oh, that's interesting.
Yeah, that is correct.
So we can't communicate with each other verbally.
Verbally.
Correct.
But hand signals.
But that doesn't mean we can't do interpretive dance.
Exactly.
So now that the dome has disappeared, it's going to try to do something to one of you four.
I'm going to roll a four-sided die to see who it's going to go after.
That is Bart.
Bart, Bart, Bart.
Bart, Bart, Bart.
You see this face, you know, this
scary-looking face and mouth
kind of float over towards
you, and like a
force of water rushes out
and tries to make contact
with you. It would hit
AC 26, which I assume would hit you.
No.
Yes, it does hit me.
So yeah, like a giant force of water
just hits you right in your torso
doing 11 points of damage.
11?
Gee.
Mud, you are now underwater.
You can't quite see what's happening. You can't quite see what's happening you can't quite tell what's
happening but it looks like there's a floating face and a current of water struck bart in the
torso um where's the buttons they're still under you uh like on the floor on the the lake bed
i think i know what you're going for and i agree with it y'all were standing like uh like where
this was there's like a big rectangle of stones and then
in the middle of that rectangle was kind of a circular
area and that's where the dome was and that's what you all
are standing on.
By the way,
after mud is kyborg.
Okay. What was the third one?
There was water comes in, electricity
comes in, water goes out
and then air
deprived. Oh yeah then air deprived.
Oh, yeah. Air leaves.
Yeah. But it sounds like there's a chunk of bubble
missing.
How do we get the bubble to come back?
I don't know if we can. Do we want the bubble to come back?
I don't know. Also, keep in mind
we're communicating purely
through water hand gestures.
I was wondering
how that was going.
When I hit the zigzaggy,
where did the lightning come from?
It just seemed to materialize inside of the dome somehow.
Okay.
And now that the dome is gone,
but all the buttons are gone too, right?
No, the buttons are still there on the floor.
They're on the floor.
Yeah.
And there's nothing there on the floor. They're on the floor. And there's nothing
else on the floor
other than those four buttons. There's no other buttons
or controls or anything.
No, the only other thing
that Kyborg saw, I believe
it was in our previous episode, was he noticed some
stairs to the northeast
still on that stone platform as well.
It would have been outside of the dome,
but still on the stone platform. How far
away is that? And the stairs went
down? It seemed to go down below
the lake bed. I tried communicating
that to you, but John and I got into a
kerfuffle, and I don't know if it got communicated.
It's like from the
pedestal with the four stones,
it's about 35, 40
feet away to get to those stairs.
And, okay, my movement speed is reduced.
You have half movement underwater.
My movement speed is 30, so I have 15.
I'd like to double move towards those stairs.
Double move.
Okay, I'm going to count exactly then.
I was kind of estimating before.
If you double move, you're about five feet away from
the first step that goes down
Okay, that's what I want to do
That's it for mud
Since I'm at
I'm five feet from the step
Yeah
Can I see anything more? Can I see down into it yet?
You're kind of coming from the side
as opposed to straight on
Let's see
You can just see that there are stairs that go You're kind of coming from the side as opposed to straight on. Let's see.
You can just see that there are stairs that go down.
It's dark in there.
It's dark going down, so you can't quite see too far.
Kyborg, you're up, then Gum-Gum.
Wee.
How far away am I from the stairs?
You're about the same.
Since you all were standing on the four stones, you're all 35 feet.
Since I was 35 feet from what I'll say, it's about 35 feet for everyone to get to the first step.
Shoot, that's my speed, but it's halved.
That means then if your speed is 35,
if you double moved, you could get onto the first step.
Oh, I'll do that.
I'll swim, I'll swim, double move over to the steps.
Double swim.
Okay, yeah, you make a double move and you're able to get,
you're able to just pass Mudgold five feet
further and get to the first step down
on that platform. And I
am Kyborg. I have elf vision, but
I imagine that Spectral also has
dark vision as well. So what
can I see with my eyes?
Does Spectral have dark vision?
Do you know that for a fact?
He's the stealth guy. He's like silent
step like with the boots and stuff.
Like that dude, no reason that guy shouldn't have night vision.
All right, you're right.
You got him.
I was hoping for a more rules lawyer-y answer.
I don't even know what Spectral is.
I think he's a human.
Is he human?
I don't remember.
Spectral is a half orc which means that yeah you would have
dark vision ah yes that's the rules lawyer answer i was looking for yeah i just looked it up in
orc blood has superior vision in dark and dim conditions you are correct like i said it's
really dim and dark down there your dark vision i believe is 60 feet, if I remember right. You can see that from your perspective, where you are at the top of the steps,
the 60 feet in front of you looks like the steps just continue down underwater.
You can't see anything beyond that.
But you can see for the next 60 feet at least, they are steps going straight down.
Cool.
Well, what are we supposed to do?
Because that's like two rounds of movement.
Yeah.
Is this a runaway thing?
Are we running away?
I'm just imagining that there's another room
or something like that.
The only other thing I can imagine is like we, you know,
it's like a Zelda boss battle
and we shock it with electricity
if that button is still active.
I mean, we could try that.
Well, Kyborg's turn is over.
Micah reminded me I forgot to roll for loose,
so I'm going to do that right now.
Is she going to help us?
Eleven.
We'll put her right after.
I'm sorry, GumGum.
We're going to put her right after Kyborg.
She should have gone before Kyborg,
but because I forgot,
I'm going to stick her right here after Kyborg.
Oh, I guess she can't talk to you, can she?
Okay.
So at this point, we have Mud and Kyborg
who have moved off over to the top of the steps,
and we have Bart and Gum-Gum and Luce
still by the stone glyphs,
and the Kupitani Zua has attacked Bart.
Sure has.
Okay, Luce is going to wave
and try to get Bart and Gum-Gum's attention.
And then she's going to point down at the glyphs.
Okay.
And she's going to reach down and press one.
She presses one and the dome reforms around you all.
Oh.
It's still filled with water, but the dome is back.
And which one did she push?
Make a perception check to see if you noticed.
Okay.
We're outside that dome.
Yep.
Why did we run away?
Ooh, 16.
It's not bad.
It looked like she pushed the square with the quadrants.
Quadrant.
Gotcha.
Okay.
After she does that, she just kind of shrugs.
And from where she is, she's going to try to make an attack on...
On the Kutani? Yeah, on the thing that's attacking Bart. She does that, she just kind of shrugs. And from where she is, she's going to try to make an attack on...
On the Kutani?
Yeah, on the thing that's attacking Bart.
She pulls out a dagger and tries to make an attack.
Save me, person we're now fighting with.
Ooh, I don't think that's a hit.
She rolled a 13.
Oh, that is a hit.
Woo!
Unfortunately, it's a dagger, doesn't do a ton of damage.
She does four points of damage.
I was going to say, this is like the equivalent of a mosquito just going in and sticking you.
Yeah, what does it look like or how does it react to that, to the dagger?
It doesn't seem to really care.
It's hard to tell.
It's kind of amorphous.
Okay.
So it's really difficult to gauge.
And it's actually just a face, right?
Yeah, it's like a patch of dark water that has a face on it.
Oh, that's so creepy.
So it hasn't taken any form other than the dark water.
Okay, got it.
Correct.
Gum Gum, it's your turn.
Then after you is Bart.
How close is Bart to me?
Yeah, like right next to you.
Is there a way I can grab Bart and swim with him?
You should probably stay in the dome.
I mean, yeah, you could pick Bart up, I guess.
Because we're swimming.
We're in the water, right?
Well, the dome is filling up with water again,
which means we should probably hit that button to drain it.
Yeah, I was going to push the button to empty the dome,
but just so that you're away from the creature.
Can I do that?
Can I grab Bart and then swim to the button and push the one that well
you all are on the button oh okay then i'll just push the one to to let the water go away you have
to tell me which one that is that is the uh which one was it that's the bottom left one the three
straight horizontal lines that curve at the end okay Okay. You press the button in the bottom left, and yes, the water starts draining out.
And is that creature getting, like,
pulled away with it, with the water,
because he's part of the water?
No, it seems to be able to resist the draining
and the pull, and it's still there with you guys.
Does he look happy?
Happy?
No, it looks like its mouth is still open.
Quick, go inside its mouth.
And then I guess I'll push another button.
Which one do you want to push?
It's all full of water right now, right?
No, the dome has drained.
All that's really left, or I should say it's in the process of draining.
It's mostly empty at this point.
Okay.
Can I hit the lightning
one and jump into the
air with Bart?
Why?
I don't know. I'm trying to
get the lightning to hit the creature.
You could try that. I will
say that would probably be
impossible because based on what you saw before,
the lightning comes down like instantly.
It's not like when it's let go,
the lightning comes out.
It's like the second it's hit,
the lightning came out.
Okay.
Can I run away and throw something?
Can I grab, carry Bart,
run away and throw something at the dot
to hit the lightning?
I think that's too,
that might be too many actions
because you already hit that.
Then you want to move
and essentially take an attack as well.
Also, Bart might not want to go somewhere
against his will.
I don't want you to get struck by lightning.
Bart might want to stay close to the buttons
to keep experimenting.
Okay, then I guess I'll just hit the lightning button
and see what happens.
Oh, good Lord.
Okay, yeah, you hit the lightning button and see what happens. Oh, good lord. Okay.
Yeah, you hit the lightning button.
And once again, as soon as you press it, lightning appears and strikes all around you.
Everyone go ahead and roll a dexterity saving throw.
Everyone or just me and Gum-Gum?
I should say, yeah, thank you.
Bart, Gum-Gum, Loose, and the Kupatani Zua.
That's 11.
22.
11 for Gum-Gum, 22 for Bart.
I'm going to roll for Luz here.
That's pretty good, actually.
That's a 17.
And Kutani Zua?
Zero, zero, zero.
Oh, no, that's a 19.
That's really good.
Dang.
So, yeah, only Gum-Gum takes damage
from the lightning strike.
How much was it?
Gum-Gum takes four points of electrical damage.
That's not too bad.
Yeah.
I mean, not to like blow a hole in this whole thing,
but I feel like stakes are low because this is a memory.
So, I mean, we might as well experiment and just try to kill Sleek.
I'm just saying.
Hey, wait a minute.
I'm Sleek.
Oh, whoa, whoa.
Is this one of those things where if you die in the dream,
you die in real life?
No, because we already interact with Sleek.
Got a real nightmare on Elm Street kind of thing.
Yeah.
So in the bubble is the Kryptonizua.
And there's no water in the bubble.
And the Kryptonizua is fine.
The water's mostly gone.
But yeah, it seems to be unaffected by the draining of the rest of the water.
Okay.
Gum Gum, I think that's it for you.
I don't think you have anything else you can do.
Can I do anything else?
No, I think you've already taken all the actions you can.
Okay.
In that case, it is Bart's turn.
Bart, Bart, Bart.
After Bart is the enemy's turn, and then Mud.
Go ahead, Bart.
I want to try to hit the quadrant button.
Quadrant.
Okay.
Yeah, you hit the quadrant button and like an opening pops open in the dome
and water starts pouring in.
And could I then press the button
with the three horizontal lines at the same time?
Yeah, I guess water would start raining at the same time.
So it's like, it reaches an equilibrium.
So Bart is basically doing like DDR on the button pads.
I just wanna see if there's like some type of like
combination thing here that we need to unlock.
The zigzag is a lightning.
There's the air thing.
Could I also press the two wavy line button?
Sure.
You press the two wavy lines
and you see the water.
Like I said, the water reached an equilibrium.
Bubbles start appearing in the water.
Okay.
You're in a jacuzzi.
You just made a big soda stream.
You pushed which one, Sparb?
The two wavy lines.
That's the one that I think made us lose
our ability to breathe before.
Which I imagine is just sucking oxygen out of the room, maybe.
Or it's introducing another gas.
Oh.
Gum, Gum, did you toot?
Because he said we were having a hard time breathing.
But the lack of oxygen is not the only thing that can cause that.
So then we're basically in
an engine where if you introduce
whatever this might be, it might be fuel, and then we
could ignite it with the electric,
rev up that engine.
Should I press the fourth and final button?
Do it. Do your DDR dance.
Or is that going to murder us? Can she?
I think you would be out of
actions at that point. Oh, okay.
Could I...
So am I done now then?
I think so, unless you can think of something I'm not thinking of.
I'm just nervous now about the bubbling water and if that's going to kill us.
I'm just like, I'm having such a hard time with this in particular, envisioning what this looks like and like what to do.
I don't know why.
I'm just like,
my,
my head is like not visualizing this.
It's cause it's unusual,
right?
You're like,
yeah,
your character is underwater fighting something.
So like you have no personal frame of reference for that.
So it's like underwater in a dome.
That's like keeping us obviously not under like surrounding us.
So we're not in the water.
And this thing is out just outside of that dome. keeping us obviously not under, like, surrounding us, so we're not in the water.
And this thing is just outside of that dome?
Remember, it bit the dome and broke it.
Now it's in with you.
Okay, I just didn't know if, like, when the dome popped back up,
it was, like, back intact.
The dome was intact, but, yeah, it is still inside the dome with you.
Okay.
So, yeah, you, Gum-Gum, Loose, and the cryptozoologist is in there with you.
Cryptozoologist.
Okay, well, if that's all I could do, I guess I'll let the next person go.
Okay, that is... Which is the cryptologist?
Kup Tani Zuwa.
I said that.
After it goes, Maud, it's your turn.
Once again, it says Kup TTA-NI-ZU-WA
Yeah, we know, we know.
Okay, it's gonna
I guess it sees Mud
and Kyborg
over by the stairs.
So it's gonna like swim very
quickly out of the dome.
It escapes and rushes
over to where Mud is. How does it go
out of the dome? It goes out of the drain that the water's draining out of,
back out into the water, into the, I should say, the sheer lake at large.
And it doesn't get super close.
It kind of, it only goes halfway between the dome and the stairs.
It's about 15 feet either way.
From a distance, it kind of lashes out and causes the water to reach out
and lash up against mud.
Hits AC 26,
which means that that is a hit.
It does 22 points of damage.
I'm taking a nap.
Are you at zero?
I am at zero. I am at zero.
Mud's at zero.
In that case, it also grapples Mud.
But since Mud is taking a little nap, there's no, like, DC check.
It just knocks Mud unconscious and grabs hold of him tight.
Oh, no.
Hey, everyone. Hey everyone, as always, want to give you a quick reminder
to give us a follow on social media
at StinkyDragonPod on Twitter and Instagram.
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So we'd really like it if you could do that.
And I want to give a shout out
to some of our voice actors for this episode.
Luce, of course, played by Hannah McCarthy
and Mayor Prattle,
played by our very own Nick Schwartz.
You may know him as the Sauce Monkey
over on Face Jam,
which is another one of the podcasts
we produce here.
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Mud, it's your turn.
Go ahead and roll a d20 to see if you stabilize.
Five.
Nope.
Nope.
How do we work around if a character dies,
but this is in the past in a memory?
Well, I'm Bo, so we've never met Bo,
so maybe this is why.
Oh, no.
You killed Bo.
It's designed.
Okay.
Kyborg, you're up, and then Luce, and then Gum-Gum.
Well, I'm going to try to save Bo,
even though they're essentially a red shirt at this point.
Jon is even wearing a red shirt while we're recording this.
What do I have weapons-wise on me?
It's whatever you would have right now.
Whatever Kyborg has in his inventory,
that's not, like, magical.
Just, like, mundane weapons.
Longbow Triumph.
That's magical.
Okay. It's blue on your character sheet i don't what is does blue mean magic yes that is a uh a magic weapon oh today i
learned um oh my god so you would have your hand axes uh and your long sword all right long sword
it is i'm gonna skewer this Kupitani Zua fish.
So like I said, he was a bit away.
He's about 15 feet away from you,
so you would have to move over to get closer to him.
My speed is 35, so if we half that, it's 18.
That's my movement, is to go over to Kupitani Zua.
And then I'm going to strike him with my longsword.
That's a 26.
Man, that's a really good roll.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that definitely hits. Again, every time I pull out this longsword, I'm like,. Man, that's a really good roll. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That definitely hits.
Again, every time I pull out this longsword,
I'm like, why don't I use this thing? This thing's amazing. Uh, and
then I do
12 points of slashing damage.
Wow. With the idea
of trying to free mud
from its grip. I should have mentioned
that earlier, but I'm trying to get mud back so I
can get it back into the bubble. And then we'll
resuscitate you with the electric bolts.
Yeah.
That can't go wrong.
If Mud
was conscious and able to resist,
I would say that you attacking to try to
free him would help, but since he's currently
limp and unconscious,
he's still firmly in
grasp. Okay. I also want to point out that Kyborg does have two currently like limp uh and unconscious he's still firmly in uh the grasp okay well i would i also
want to point out the kyborg does have two actions now does that transfer over to two attacks you
mean yeah yes you absolutely can't attack again all right well here we go gonna try again long
sword but i'm aiming for the hands koop tani zani-Zua hands. 24. Does it have hands?
How is it picking you up?
Not really.
How's that holding me?
Yeah.
It's just grasping.
It's not like a hand, like you say.
It's like that thing that lashed out.
Like, you wouldn't say an octopus has hands.
It's not that it's a cephalopod or anything like that.
I'm just giving an example.
Is it a giant worm?
It's not a worm.
Well, how would a giant worm grapple me?
Like a snake would coil around you.
So like a snake.
So then he would have coiled around me.
So it's an eel.
Oh my God.
Just say what it is.
You could just end it all by saying what it is.
It's an amorphous goo thing.
It's an amorphous face.
Yeah.
Which he has said before.
Think like a gaseous.
I assume that he was saying that as a way of concealing.
It's like it was hidden in shadow.
No.
It's just a big amorphous.
I didn't know it was actually a big amorphous poo thing.
Then I would have said it was hidden in shadow.
Make a history check.
Do you actually want me to make a history check,
or am I allowed to roll my dice?
Yes, make a history check.
15.
It's an elemental.
What does that even mean? I don't even know. Oh my god.
It's that elementals
aren't necessarily, you know,
restricted to like conventional,
you know,
quadruped or bipedal
forms. Well, I'm going elemental
trying to get this
dang attack going, so I'm gonna
roll my slashing damage. Damn it, I rolled
a one. Five. Five!
I'm going to
treat it not as a called shot. Not that you're actually
trying to hit its quote-unquote hand,
but you're just making a general attack on it.
I mean, it seems huge.
So yeah, I feel like you can kind of decipher
whereabouts you'd attack.
I, yeah, whatever.
Five points of damage.
Is he dead?
Did I free mud?
No.
Yeah, I think that's it for you, Kyborg.
Unless I Ashen Surge.
Well, no, because you didn't let us long rest.
I don't have an Ashen Surge available.
Yeah, that's me.
Okay.
Is it my turn?
No, it is Luz's turn first.
Luz is still inside the dome with Bart and Gum-Gum.
She's assessing the situation.
She can talk, you know, since the water has drained.
Those of you in the dome are able to actually communicate.
She'll say to Bart and Mud,
Let's grab Bo and head for the stairs.
Oh.
Dang it, I was doing that. I feel like they're still got to do these buttons or something.
She takes off running.
And, you know, when she gets up to the wall of the dome,
you know, it kind of like gives a little bit of resistance,
but she's able to like pop through.
The dome stays in place,
but she's able to like pop through it and it reforms behind her.
And she begins moving through the water over towards mud.
So this is actually Otoganga.
This is like domes of air that you can walk through. I don't know what Otoganga is, but okay. It's the Gung towards mud. So this is actually Otogunga. This is like domes of air that
you can walk through. I don't know what Otogunga
is, but okay. It's the Gungan city.
Oh, right, right.
Yeah, it is like that, isn't it?
She goes up and she
tries to grab mud.
She's going to make a grapple check
with this thing that's holding onto mud.
Oh, she rolled a 17. It rolled
a 16. Oh, wow. She's, it rolled a 16. Oh wow.
She's able to wrestle mud out of its grasp.
I'm free.
And starts, you know, continues on her way past Kaiborg,
most of the way to the stairs.
And that's her turn.
So Gum Gum, it's your turn.
Which buttons did Barbara hit last time
or Bart hit last time?
I think everything but the lightning.
Yes, that's correct. I believe that
is correct. I think first she hit the
quadrant, then I believe she hit the
horizontal lines, then I believe she hit the
wavy line. I just want to point out real quick
the fact that Gus
is mentioning what order I pressed them in
I think might be a clue.
Well, there is a 1, 2, 3, 4.
They do go in an order.
We should maybe try to do that.
I think there's something to do with the buttons here.
Should I do 4,
3, 2, 1, or 1, 2, 3, 4?
Currently, three of them are on.
Yes. So, we'd
probably have to spend a few of our
turns turning them off and on.
So, to summarize, if I remember right, there is an opening in the dome.
So water's pouring in, but simultaneously water's being drained.
So it's reaching the equilibrium.
And there are some kind of bubbles being introduced into the water that is in the dome.
I mean, do you think we maybe need to electrocute this?
Bubbly concoction?
This being that's attacking us?
Because it's in the water.
It didn't take damage the last time you did it.
Yeah, but it had a really good roll.
No, but also the thing wasn't filled with water
when we did the lightning.
Yeah, I'm pointing out that we haven't
seen how it reacts.
Is there any sort of
animal or history?
Just to identify what type of elemental it might be.
Yeah, water.
Okay, it's water.
Dummy.
Well, it was dark.
So I was like, maybe it's a dark.
Maybe it's like a shadow elemental.
I don't know.
I just had to have it stand out from the rest of the water.
Okay.
Well, then it's in the water right now, right?
Yes.
Then I'm going to hit the last one that Bart didn't hit and do the light. Wait, wait, wait. Just to clarify, when I say it's in the water right now, right? Yes. Then I'm going to hit the last one that Bart didn't hit and do the light.
Wait, wait, wait.
Just to clarify, when I say it's in the water, I mean, remember, it left the dome.
That's why it has mud.
Oh, yeah.
It's no longer in.
I forgot.
Yeah, that's what I meant by it's in the water.
Like, it's not in the water in the dome.
It's in the water of the lake.
That makes things more complicated.
Well, I feel like I should just hit the last button that hasn't been hit just because,
Barb, you're making a face.
I'm just nervous.
I don't really like, I don't know.
It's not in there.
Why would you do the lightning?
Gum, gum.
It's up to you.
It's up to you, Chris.
Oh, God.
All right.
We should probably try to do it in the sequential thing.
So maybe we should unclick the buttons.
Mm-hmm.
I guess I'll unclick the buttons.
How many buttons can I push if I do that?
I gave Barbara three. I had been saying two before, but I gave Barbara three. So I'll unclick the buttons. How many buttons can I push if I do that? I gave Barbara three.
I had been saying two before, but I gave Barbara three,
so I'll give you three.
So tell me what you want to push.
What order did you push in, Barb?
I did the quadrants and then the three straight lines
and then the wavy lines.
That was four, three, two, one.
The only one we didn't hit was lightning.
Lightning's four. No, two, one. The only one we didn't hit was lightning. The lightning's four.
No, isn't it four quadrants?
No, lightning is a single zigzaggy line.
Oh, you mean as far as the number of, okay.
Yeah, so I feel like we should just continue that
just so we know what happens,
even if it electrocutes us.
Go for it.
Can I undo saying I undid them
and just say I hit the lightning one
just to see what happens?
Gum Gum reaches down and pushes the zigzagging line.
The lightning bolts reappear, strike all around you,
and Bart and Gum-Gum zap out of existence.
What?
We'll deal with you guys later.
You guys are not here anymore.
What?
What?
I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
Well, you're away from danger.
Yeah.
Or this danger.
Maybe you're around new danger.
Like zap out of existence as in like we.
I'm telling it from the perspective of Mud and Kyborg and Luz who are still around.
They see that you just, you pop away.
You're gone.
Well, no, not Mud because Mud's passed out.
Yeah.
Oh, right, right.
Well, if Mud was conscious from his perspective.
All right, so it is the enemy's turn.
It would also notice that they're gone,
and you hear it go...
It's lost its grip on mud because loose took mud away.
It's going to go ahead and take a couple of swings at loose
because it wants to get mud back.
So yeah, it swims up closer to loose and takes a couple of attacks the first one hits doing
oh 20 points of damage to loose that's a lot yeah the second attack um it rolls a one which is a
a critical miss what happens when a water elemental underwater
critically misses?
I guess it loses sight of you all temporarily
in some disturbed water.
It does not drown Micah.
I was gonna say it's swimming shrunks
filled with pockets of air and then it bubbles up
and it gets all embarrassed and turns red.
Yes, we'll go with that. I like that.
Okay.
Mud, it's your turn.
Go ahead and roll a d20 to see if you stabilize. 19. That is a that. I like that. Okay. Mud, it's your turn. Go ahead and roll a d20 to stabilize.
19.
That is a stabilize.
I got one.
Kyborg, it's your turn.
Luz has passed you carrying mud
and is at the top of the stairs where you were previously.
Okay.
I think that I swam 18 feet to go back and attack the thing.
No, it's 15 feet.
So I'm going to swim back. So that's 15 feet to get back and attack the thing. No, it's 15 feet. So I'm going to swim back.
So that's 15 feet to get back to the stairs, plus three feet.
So I'm going to go down a couple of stairs.
And then I'm going to double up my...
I'm going to trade in an attack for additional movement.
So I'm just going to go down those stairs.
Yeah, so you'd move about 20 feet down the stairs total.
Okay.
So since your dark vision allows you to see 60 feet,
you see that at the edge of your,
previously from the edge of your dark vision,
that in about another 40 feet,
the stairs seem to end and level off.
And it seems like there's a tunnel in front after that point.
Oh.
Is there any air?
Is there a pocket of air down there?
You can't tell because it, like, turns and levels off,
so you can't, like, see around that corner.
Okay.
Well, at least I'm away from...
Zulu.
Zulu. Zulu.
Zulu.
Kup'tani Zua. Kup'tani
Zua. Yeah,
that's my turn. Alright, it's Luce's
turn. Her speed's 30.
She's gonna double move, so
she is 10 feet in front of you.
She's about halfway down the stairs.
I'm skipping Gum Gum and Barks. We'll deal
with you once we resolve everything that's happening
here. It's the enemy's
turn. It lost sight of us.
Oh, right. It had
a critical fail. It needs to figure out what's going
on. Same.
Making a perception check for it.
Two. It's
very confused after getting turned around
after its critical failure.
Who knows, the sand popped up,
it got air in its trunks,
it's having a hard time maintaining itself.
It doesn't necessarily know where you all went.
Kyborg, you are 20 feet down the stairs,
40 feet from the bottom.
I'm just gonna keep on keeping on.
I'm gonna keep on going down those stairs,
or I guess now I'm in that level area.
Yeah, you would just reach it.
When you get to the bottom and you pop into that tunnel,
it actually has air.
There's no water in it.
Okay.
So I go in and I go.
It's like the abyss.
You got to spit out all that water.
Oh, yeah.
What a great movie.
Another great Cameron film.
I should watch that again soon. So you're right at the end of the stairs, right at the beginning of the tunnel, and you are back. Oh, D&D, yeah. What a great movie. Another great Cameron film. I should watch that again soon.
You're right at the end of the stairs, right at the beginning of the tunnel
and you are back. Oh, D&D, yeah.
Out of the water in the air. Right, right.
Yeah, I mean, I guess
I could ready up a healing potion because I'm imagining
that
what's her face? Gets down here.
Soon to be parallel.
Loose. Yeah.
Loose. Wow. I. That's the, wow.
I stumbled my way through that one.
I'm going to ready up a healing potion for mud.
Okay.
By the way, I failed to mention when you got down there,
you actually do smell fresh air.
It doesn't smell like stagnant like you would expect
a pocket of air trapped underwater to be.
Okay.
Okay, yeah.
And the next round, loose comes through
and she catches up to you, is at the same spot,
like right at the start of the air tunnel.
And we're out of combat at this point.
We did it.
And she's got mud with her.
All right.
Can I do anything out of combat to stabilize?
Well, I was going to see if Kyborg was going to give you that potion or not.
Yeah.
Wait, so this is weird.
I have a potion in the future.
Do I give up that potion in the future?
It's not your potion.
No, this is an old, this is a past memory potion.
Alright, well here, take this potion. It means nothing to me.
Here, blah blah blah blah blah.
Just fill it down your gullet.
Gotta roll for, uh, do I roll for healing? He gotta roll for me, cause he has it.
Yeah.
Okay, that would be, uh, 2d4 plus 2, so let me get that d4 ready. 1, 2,
boom. Oh, Jesus. 3
plus 2, 5.
It doesn't matter. Mud now has
5 hit points and is awake.
Now Mud goes,
Bo,
oh, Bo, I'm so glad you're
back.
You're such an integral part of the team. I
foresee you being the best of the Infinites someday.
What are the Infinites?
Loose ass.
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
Don't tell her.
I'm making a team.
I guess.
So we're now in a tunnel that on one end where we just came from is going back into the water
and the other end is heading down the tunnel towards a turn.
It just goes straight.
It's dark, so you can't see beyond the 60 feet.
But all you know is that at minimum, it goes 60 feet in that direction.
What is Bo?
Bo's the genie thing in Orc?
Genasi.
Genasi.
I said that.
The genie.
And Orc?
No, I believe she's just Genasi.
Does Genasi have good vision?
I don't think any
dark vision would
extend beyond 60 feet.
Okay. Um, start
trepidatiously heading towards the, down
the tunnel. Okay. You all start
making your way, making your way down the tunnel.
Making your way down the tunnel.
It's your homebound.
Very deadly!
As you all are walking down the tunnel,
it starts to slowly
fill with very dim light.
Then as time goes on,
you can tell that it's slanting
ever so slightly up.
Then after walking for a ways,
you emerge on the shoreline
of the sheer lake. And when you emerge on the shoreline of the sheer lake.
And when you emerge on the shoreline, Bart and Gum-Gum are standing there staring out at the lake.
What?
So Bart and Gum-Gum, from your perspective, when Gum-Gum hit the lightning bolt, you just instantly teleported and were standing at the shore of the lake.
of the lake. And not that long past, you know, it was maybe 30 seconds to
a minute of staring at the lake
when the rest of your group emerges
from a nearby, like, secret passage
at the shore of the lake.
So now everyone is standing at the edge
of the lake. You managed to
vanquish Kup Tani Zua in a
way I was not expecting that went way more
chaotically than I was hoping.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm
going to argue against that because
you made us go through an
underwater puzzle. How did you think
that was going to go smoothly or
conventionally or anything like that?
Honestly. Awful. Well, you all split up
the party. That's the thing
I never think about.
Yeah, well, whatever.
It's true. Yeah, John, you were the one
that started it, so.
I saw stairs.
And I followed you foolishly. Did the stairs work out?
Yeah, only because I had to heal you and, yeah.
You did die.
You did die.
Micah says that this worked well with the focus group.
All right, well, everything swirls into scarlet.
Okay.
Once again, your surroundings refocus,
and it appears you're back in Mayor Pridle's office.
Pridle is standing behind his desk, biting his lip.
He looks up.
Ah, you're back.
You almost missed me.
I was about to go see a doctor that's just come into town.
Anyway, how did it go?
Will they help us?
Uh, yes.
Good question.
We didn't get confirmation from either, to be honest with you, Doc.
Er, Prattle.
Mayor.
Seems like if we were to show them both signs of progress
that their society considers progress,
we might be able to create a relationship between them.
Hmm. Accurate.
Luz steps forward and says,
Like I said, this dispatch was a waste of time.
No one's going to want a bunch of worthless rocks
from some no-name town.
Is that so?
Then why did you agree to go in the first place?
Because I knew they had what we needed.
Luz cracks open the crate holding the sangria knight, but it isn't full of glowing purple rocks.
She starts pulling out items and handing them to each of you.
She hands Bart a mossy lute.
Haven't you always wanted to be a bard, Austin?
What if you could stop time with a strum of a chord?
She gives Kyborg a pair of boots.
How many times were you beaten up as a child, Lank?
What if you could sneak up on your enemies like a ghost and return the favor?
She passes Gum-Gum a wooden goblet.
What would you give, Marcy, if you could have saved Fred with a sip from this cup?
Finally, she presents Mud a hammer.
Bo, you can barely stand now,
but what if you could move mountains with one swing?
Imagine the world you could shape
for creatures of all shapes and sizes.
She did the steal.
We did not take those.
That's all her.
Oh, no, this is going to be bad.
So now there's not peace with the sloth people or the water
people. Sloth people.
I don't
understand. Where did all
of this come from? They weren't going to
hand these over, Felix.
I did what needed to be
done. But this wasn't
part of the plan, Luce.
My plan was to- Your plan
was too small. She pulls out a pair
of gloves from the crate and puts them on.
She reaches out to Prattle and barely touches him.
He immediately collapses into his
desk chair, unmoving with wide eyes.
Oh, she cut off her hands.
I'm gonna make another head.
What? She just put on some gloves? She has gloves.
Yeah, yeah. We cut off her hands
and then we make her powerless.
Or just take the gloves. Or cut off her hands. I we make her powerless. Or just take the gloves.
Or cut off her hands.
I don't think you should have done that to the mayor.
She touches Bart.
No!
And Bart freezes and then touches Mud.
Then touches Kyborg and Gum-Gum.
I run away. I run away.
Luz holds up her gloved hand.
This is how we finally take back all that was taken from us.
This is how we finally put back all that was taken from us. This is how we finally put Bolderay on the map.
And this is how we finally earn our place in the world.
We won't just be able to save Bolderay.
We will be able to save anyone, everyone,
like guards or knights that protect the world and beyond.
The possibilities are infinite.
Are they infinite?
Mm.
Luz heads for the exit,
but as she opens the door,
she looks back at Phoenix.
Your plans were always too small, old man.
You'll see.
We will change the world.
And with that, she closes the door behind her.
Once she leaves,
everyone begins to feel more normal again.
You regain your feeling and mobility.
That is a villain origin story if I ever saw one.
Yeah.
Don't worry about Luz.
She'll calm down.
I'll be the first to admit she went a bit too far with her methods,
but we can't turn back now.
What's done is done.
Besides, what am I going to do?
Arrest my own daughter?
Oh.
Uh-huh.
Daughter?
Dun, dun, dun.
Seems like a conflict of interest here going on.
My God.
Are we still on the memory?
You're out of the episode now.
That's the end of this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
That was a cliffhanger.
So many layers.
Like an onion.
Questions are finally being answered.
Origins are being revealed.
My goodness.
Weaknesses are being found.
Cut off her hands.
Cut off her hands.
Cut off her hands.
I like that that's also your solution.
It's like, not take the gloves off, just cut her hands off.
Yeah.
Well, she's bad.
Well, you know, Blaine, his character lost an arm.
So that's kind of like his default thing is cut off limbs.
Dismemberment.
Dismemberment.
That's how they do it in Star Wars.
If you cut off her hands, then she can never put on gloves again ever.
That's what the Avengers should have done from the start.
Cut off Thanos. Taking Thanos' arm off. Yeah. Infinity Gauntlet never put on gloves again, ever. That's what the Avengers should have done from the start. Cut off Thanos.
Taking Thanos' arm off.
Yeah.
Infinity Gauntlet only fits on one hand, right?
Yeah.
So he can keep the other one, just not his left.
Yeah.
All right.
Thanks for listening, everybody.
We'll be back again next week with another episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
Hope you enjoyed this one.
Oh, boy.
Bye.
Hope you enjoyed that episode.
Cutting audio. Thank you.