Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Paralyte’s Poison - Ep. 43: Pines and Needles

Episode Date: March 30, 2022

The Interns deal with the revelations on the origins of the Infinights. Will they still be able to save their friends and chase down Paralyte in the mysterious Elderpines? Follow us on Social: https:...//linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://coinbase.com/stinky to get $10 of Bitcoin free. Get your RTX badge at http://bit.ly/rtxaustin22 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 DQ presents the sound of a genius idea with the new Smarties Cookie Collision Blizzard. It's the sound of the Smarties Blizzard plus cookie dough! Hurry in for the new Smarties Cookie Collision Blizzard for a limited time at DQ. Happy tastes good. This is a Rooster Teeth production. best wishes to all you blackguard drakes we don't into the stinky dragon quaff our latest cocktail caustic for concern it's a mixture of rager meister coconut rum pineapple juice and a little drop of acid one sip of this acrid eyeener is enough to tip your scales in the right direction. Previously, our adventurers were inside the memories of Sleek and Spectral as the Intern Knights.
Starting point is 00:00:54 While underwater in the sheer lake, they encountered an aggressive aquatic creature and a puzzling set of stone glyphs. Eventually, they all escaped to safety and found themselves back in Mayor Prattle's office, where he revealed that Luz, a.k.a. Paralite, is his daughter. Settle your scales, and let's continue our tale. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky
Starting point is 00:01:20 Dragon. Hi. Are y'all still stinky? Hi. Really quick, did you say that one of the ingredients for that drink was acid? You want our audience to drop acid, Gus? No, no. Like hydrochloric acid. I don't know. Even better.
Starting point is 00:01:33 Sulfuric acid. Which one is better? Probably the one that is deadly. You probably have hydrochloric acid if you like, I don't know, based it down. Turned up the base. Based it down. Maybe diluted it. I don't know based it down turned up the base based it down maybe diluted it I don't want to skip over the fact that Blaine
Starting point is 00:01:48 I think he almost started pronouncing your name as Jus he went Jigus Justavo Serola Justavo I think his brain corrected at the last second I also before we get into the recording just no one is going to be able
Starting point is 00:02:04 to see this except us, but the framing on Chris's webcam is just very funny to me because it cuts him off at the eyebrows and just at like the nipples. And so it's just like... Well, just to be clear, you don't see my nipples. His Adam's apple is like the middle point of the entire camera.
Starting point is 00:02:20 Also, for some reason, for the first time ever now, two years into working from home, he's blurring his background. We've seen your room nonstop for two years, and this time you're blurring your background. Also, he just found out which part of the microphone to speak into. Let's continue the show. He was speaking into the side. This is the show. This is the show.
Starting point is 00:02:45 This is the story of the show. He got a mic and talked into the side. This is the show. This is the show. This is the story of the show. He got a mic and talked the wrong side. He did. Where were we? Oh, yes. D&D, Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Roll for initiative. I want to thank everyone for tuning in to this episode.
Starting point is 00:03:01 We'll be back next week. No, no, we got a lot to do today. I was very confused. That was it. That was it. No, no, no, no. We'll be back next week. No, no, we got a lot to do today. I was very confused. That was it. That was it. No, no, no, no. We're back. You guys have been in the Dreamery experiment experiencing all this flashback, this backstory, learning all the things that set this current
Starting point is 00:03:16 adventure into motion, who your enemies really are. And you learned a lot. And you fought something. Okay. An intense surge of electricity vibrates through your bodies, and the once spiraling surroundings fade back into the lab at Infinite Headquarters. The apparatus unvines above you, sparks for a second, and then powers down with a droning hum.
Starting point is 00:03:37 Doctor wheels over to you and asks, Oh my dia! Is everyone alright? My prosthetic arm is like, like I felt that really hard, you know? Like it's basically like if you put a person that has a piece of metal in their body inside of one of those...
Starting point is 00:03:53 Like an MRI? MRI thing. Oh, you be careful right now. You are literally telling Gus, the DM, that your arm is conductive of electricity. And so if he wants to hit you with electric energy... And magnets too, apparently. I mean that it's stainless steel, and it's fine.
Starting point is 00:04:08 It's covered in stainless steel, and it is not conductive. You be careful. Anytime there's static electricity, Kyborg's going to have to roll a d4 for damage. Yeah. You know, a lot of stuff just happened to us, but all of a sudden after waking up, it feels like Kyborg really doesn't like me for some reason and I can't pinpoint why. Why doesn't Kyborg like you? Yeah, Kyborg, what's up?
Starting point is 00:04:29 I was sleek. Oh, oh, oh. Now I remember. I'm sorry. I thought you were... I'm still focused on everybody that was talking like this. Last episode. I'm like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:04:46 I feel like my Elven people were like just like from like Elven New York or something. Like we talk fast. We got things to do. Elven New York. We gotta go. Elven New York. So we ran to a bunch of Elven like Wisconsin people and I talked slowly.
Starting point is 00:05:02 You all have such short lives. You only live for a couple thousand years. Gotta maximize every moment. Yeah. You all have such short lives. You only live for a couple thousand years. Got to maximize every moment. Yeah. Hell yeah. YOLO. Hell yeah. Elf.
Starting point is 00:05:09 Yeah. I always forget that, uh, I always live that long. Yeah. You're so advanced. You just meditate through sleep. You should be patient. That's so cool.
Starting point is 00:05:17 God, I wish I was IRL. I wish I was an elf. I take the point years. How many parties do you think cyborg is going to be a part of before he passes away eventually? Cause like all of these people are going to be a part of before he passes away eventually? Because, like, all of these people are going to be dead, right, Kyborg? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:05:29 What's the life expectancy of a fear bog? You're assuming Kyborg lives through this adventure. Yeah. I'm the hero of the story. Why wouldn't I? Kyborg also has lost a limb, so he's already, like, down some body, you know, parts. Fear bogs are 500 years. Oh, we're right up there with each other.
Starting point is 00:05:47 Yeah. Yeah. What about halflings? Halflings, aren't they, like, around 120? Yeah. They're, like, extended human years, basically. Yeah, it's not super long, but more than a human. What if I drink Kyborg's blood?
Starting point is 00:06:02 And then orc, wait, orcs only go about 100 years. Rarely do they live beyond 100. So which one of our party is like the dog that we shouldn't get too attached to? Bart's going to live to the middle of his second century, most likely. Okay, it's like 150. I think Gum-Gum's the one that's going to be the first to go.
Starting point is 00:06:19 Okay, nobody get too attached to Gum-Gum, okay? Wait a minute. Too late. What do you mean I can't too attached to Gum Gum, okay? Wait a minute. Too late. What do you mean I can't get attached to me? So we got Gum Gum at 75 years, and we have Bart at 150. So it's okay, Bart. You won't have to live that much longer
Starting point is 00:06:38 after Gum Gum's gone. Yeah, only double my lifetime. Did you know that halflings have brave which means they have advantage on saving throws against being frightened? That's cute. Did you know that, Barbara? Yeah. I did. Yeah, I have advantage.
Starting point is 00:06:56 On stuff. On throws against being frightened. B is for brave. B is for Bart. B is for Bart. B is for Bart. B is for brave. B is for let's continue the story. Blitz. Mutt's just yawning and taking the crusties
Starting point is 00:07:12 out of his eyes after that whole non-ease. So just for clarity, for posterity's sake, do you think it would be prudent to mention that John is a little stuffy today, so he sounds a little different. Just to head off all of the comments on this episode about asking why John sounds different different it's allergy season in austin well i've got a flat i had a cold this week what's the fear bug equivalent to what's going on right now like can't
Starting point is 00:07:33 the canon version was it you caught something while we're in the dreamery like maybe you slept with your mouth open while you're in the dreamery yeah something crawled in. Gross. Let's go. What's happening? Oh, yeah. Doctor asked if everyone was all right. And that's the chatter. You know, this is everyone getting caught up.
Starting point is 00:07:56 Everyone woke up and immediately started wondering how long everybody's going to live. Well, we got really existential while we were in this dreamland. Even, you know, seeing people die right before our eyes. Yeah. You know, I was the embodiment of everything that Kyborg hates, and so now I feel weird around him. Oh, no. Just looking at you differently now. Yeah, it's just we've seen some things, Doctor.
Starting point is 00:08:17 Oh, well, what did you experience? What did you see? Slow-talking people, just the worst. Just, they couldn't even get it thought out in five minutes but neither can we we had to press some buttons and we almost drowned and we almost got killed by this weird monster in the water to be frank as what we've come to understand is two very important things that one the origins of the infinites are based in stealing stuff from other peoples that
Starting point is 00:08:48 were not originally yours and also who Paralite originally was yeah did you know that doctor I had my suspicions about Felix and Luz regarding the extent of their relationship but I didn't think
Starting point is 00:09:03 Felix was capable of covering up so much corruption. I had no idea that the Infanites gained their powers through petty thievery. He turns to Sleek and Spectral and says, Shame on the both of you. Why did you go along
Starting point is 00:09:20 with all the lies? I spit at Sleek. I spit at him. He looks down at the spit and looks up at you and Dr. Ahem and says, We didn't want to, of course. We told Brattle right away that we wanted nothing to do with it.
Starting point is 00:09:35 But, Bolderay was dying and it needed a miracle to survive. The town needed heroes to save them. The world needed the Infinites. Everywhere we went there was another disaster, another war, another crisis needing our help. But it's all a lie! You've been lying to the people of Boulderey, to the world, to... to me. Doctor, believe us, we never meant to hurt anyone. But he's right, Leonard. We aren't heroes.
Starting point is 00:10:08 We never were. And after this rescue mission, I'm done. I mean it. I'll tell the whole world if I have to. But the Infinites are no more. Does this mean we lose our internship? Maybe we can get promoted. I needed it for credit. We should be
Starting point is 00:10:24 promoted. We'll be the new infinites. I mean, we've been doing the job the entire time. Yeah. Shame on you. Shame on you. And then can I roll the spit in Sleek's face? Sure. Why not? Okay. Hold on. What's the roll? What is the roll? Just make a dex check, I guess. Dexterity. Holy heck. Why can I? Dex check, I guess. Dexterity. Holy heck. Why can't I? Dex check, dude. I can't roll. Am I in like, what is this? I'll roll for you. No, no.
Starting point is 00:10:50 I must roll for myself. I did it. It's right there. Seven. No. Then roll. Dexterity. There you go.
Starting point is 00:10:57 There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. 20. 20. For the record, you didn't roll a 20. It's a 15 plus five. Same thing.
Starting point is 00:11:04 Just to be clear. Just to be clear to the listeners. Yeah, just because Blaine yelled 20 and started laughing maniacally. It's a plus 5 modifier. It works. It's a 20. Okay, so fine. You spit on Sleek and he looks at you
Starting point is 00:11:18 angrily, but he knows that he's in the wrong here. So Sleek looks dejected at being the focus of everyone's anger. But it was all for good intentions. Yeah, the greater good. The ends don't justify the means, you monster. I'm getting another one ready.
Starting point is 00:11:38 I had a lot of milk this morning. Mud reaches over and with his giant fear bog hands, clasps Kyborg's mouth so he can't spit it out and has to deal with what he just hocked up in his own way. And now it kind of leaks out of between your fingers. Stop. Stop. Oh god.
Starting point is 00:11:55 I'm so grossed out. Stop it. I'm already dead. Gum Gum just starts spitting into the ground. That's the spirit Gum Gum. I guess I'd be behind Mud's hand. That's the spirit, Gum Gum! This isn't at Sleek. This is just spitting because he likes to spit.
Starting point is 00:12:12 God. That's the detail we didn't need to know about Gum Gum. Yeah. Oh, hey, quick ask. Can we consider that whole dream state a long rest? Oh, please. Well, you can take a long rest. Okay, I just looked up
Starting point is 00:12:28 and I'm like, I'm at 5 HP. Why am I at 5 HP? Yeah, because at this time, at this point, it's like morning the next day. Okay, I'm going to do a long rest. Yay, we've long rested. First time in 10 days. My spells are back. Guess who's lucky again?
Starting point is 00:12:44 I feel like Bart in this situation, because he lived as one of the Infinites, specifically Sleek, could feel more compassion for them than he did before. Oh, yeah. That's nice. So he goes over to Sleek and helps him wipe off the spittle that Kyborg has. Oh, that's really sweet. Nice guy, Bart. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:03 He goes, it's okay. He appreciates it. He looks at you with big eyes that are welling up with tears in them. Oh, that's really sweet. Nice guy, Bart. Yeah, he goes, it's okay. He appreciates it. He looks at you with like big eyes that are welling up with tears in them. Oh, easy targets. Hold on. Gross. Well, what do we do now? The fact that we know the infinites were a.
Starting point is 00:13:16 Phonies. Lie. And Paralite is now ostensibly collecting all those items that she originally stole. Sleek says, It's all beginning to make sense now. Paralite must have messed with our memories when she captured us, so that we wouldn't know exactly where she was hiding out. Think about it, Leonard.
Starting point is 00:13:35 Just when you started remembering something about the Elder Pines, your memory went all fuzzy. But it's clear now. That's where this all began. Perhaps Paralite has been hiding there this whole time, right under our noses. Doctor chimes in. Well, that settles it. It sounds like the Elder Pines might be a good place to start looking for our friends and Paralite.
Starting point is 00:13:57 You should take Sleek and Spectral here with you. Perhaps seeing the forest again will jog their memories. Sounds like a plan. What if we just take one of them? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Sleek. Hey, it's been really risky around here with the Evergards, and I don't feel good with Dr. Ahem being on his own,
Starting point is 00:14:17 and I think that he needs Sleek to guard him. No, no. They'll best be served if their memories can be jogged. And they'll be an asset to you in your fight against Paralite. I reach for Bart's suspenders. Bart slaps Kybar's hand away. Okay, all right. There's these moments when you're playing the Pokemon games
Starting point is 00:14:42 where you're having dialogue with a character and then it comes up with like two options to reply to the dialogue of the character. Does it matter what you say? What's going to happen is what's going to happen. Yep. We're at that point right now. It's like...
Starting point is 00:14:54 Of course they have to come with us. They're the ones who went through this. Just take your stupid little brother with you. He needs to go to the mall with you as well. Deal with it. He needs to socialize. He needs to spend time with the other kids. He's getting real weird.
Starting point is 00:15:08 Alright, we'll take these stinking infinauts. Bart grabs Sleek and Spectral's hands. Bart is like no one deserves that niceness. No one deserves it. And then Gum Gum
Starting point is 00:15:22 grabs their hands like makes a circle with everyone's hands. Alright. Like a ring around the rosy kind of thing or something? Yeah, like grabs the opposite. Yeah, if I'm in between them he's on like the other side of them. Alright, let's go to the pains.
Starting point is 00:15:38 Doctor stops you as you're walking out and says, there's something else you should know about Felix. The day we met he was concerned about his health i conducted a medical exam and discovered that he's dying my diagnosis is that he spent so many years around boulderay's number one export sangrianite and his body had a negative reaction to its arcane properties. Wasn't there a cup that Aleve got
Starting point is 00:16:10 that could save a life? Do you think that's what Paralite is looking for? I suppose it's possible. All right, so Paralite's looking for that cup. Paralite doesn't have the cup, right? I don't think she does. Doesn't she just have the loot right now? Right?
Starting point is 00:16:26 She has Sleek's loot. She has her gloves. Can you remind us, Gus? You know definitely that Paralite has the loot. I don't know if you know definitely anything beyond that. Okay. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:16:39 Well, I guess there's more information to find in the pines if we find Paralite. To the Elder Pines. Quite right, interns. Make haste. You said you all were exiting the lab, correct? Yes. Can we do a quick check to see if there's anything in here that could help us on our journey? Any supplies?
Starting point is 00:16:56 Any supplies or like magic potions or anything like that? I need to put up like one of those janitor like slippery floor area things. The signs because of the spit on the floor someone ought to clean this up it's a mess that's a good question the lab is pretty scarce if you remember uh a lot of his stuff was stolen recently so it's not as fully stocked as it normally would have been that is a good idea though to look around for for anything that could help oh let's get coffees to go but what is it y'all are looking for just like healing potions or something potions or like any like equipment or anything that could help. Oh, let's get coffees to go. What is it y'all are looking for? Just like healing potions or something? Healing potions or like any like equipment
Starting point is 00:17:27 or anything that could help. You got any of those like a tumbler so we can put some coffee in? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A coffee tumbler? You don't have one already? I just want a fresh one. Yeah, we just want to top off our coffees
Starting point is 00:17:40 before we get going. Wait, are you looking for a tumbler or for ready-made coffee? No, we want that dude that makes the coffee. What is his name? You tell me what his name is. Duncan. Duncan. There it is. Duncan. Duncan. Ah, yes, Duncan. Hi, my name's Duncan. He sounds like that. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:17:56 we need that guy. Get that guy in here. You don't see Duncan anywhere, but yeah, you find some tumblers you could use for coffee. Okay. Gus is like, get out of the lab. I'm not leaving until I get my coffee. Can I speak to your manager, Dr. Ahim? Yeah, you get, uh, you can
Starting point is 00:18:12 just get, like, some beakers and repurpose those as tumblers. Turns out, Kyborg is the kind of person to have one of those mugs that says, don't talk to me until I've had my morning coffee. That sounds like mud to me. It's an elvish. I think Kyberg's a bit more basic. I'm not that basic. Alright. Is everyone ready to move
Starting point is 00:18:30 on out? Mud has a coffee cup with little raccoon paw prints all over it. Oh, that's cute. That's nice. That does sound cute. Or not raccoon, badger. Sorry, I forgot which little trash dirt digger I have. Don't talk about Gum Gum that way. He's right here. Just because I like to dig in the dirt doesn't mean
Starting point is 00:18:48 I'm a trash. Oh, can I leave Fred here? I feel like Dr. Ahem would take good care of him, and I don't want to expose him to danger like irresponsible Gum-Mud with his thing. Oh, absolutely. Dr. Ahem would be happy to take Fred
Starting point is 00:19:04 off your hand. Okay. You're not going to kill him or anything, are you? No, no, no. He will not experiment on him. Is there a wink at the end of that knot? No, no. Just unlike some of the other animals you've seen before. He'll take good care of him as a pet and not an experiment. Can I do a perception check and see if he's actually
Starting point is 00:19:19 messing with me? I don't think he's going to do it. Sure. I want to make sure that Fred's in good hands here. Yeah, make that perception check. Alright, here we go. Ooh, 20! 17 plus 3. That actually should have been an insight check, but we'll say you rolled a 17 on your insight, which is plus 0, so we'll say it's 17. Okay. Yeah, you think that he's
Starting point is 00:19:36 being straightforward. Dr. Ahem reminds you that, uh, I don't wish to point fingers, but last time it was you that killed rodents inside my lab. Well, this isn't a rodent. This is a predator. Alright? He's a fox. He's an apex predator. Yeah, just like his papa.
Starting point is 00:19:51 Well, the only animals that have been killed in this lab were by Kyborg. Well, no. He came back to life if you listened to that bonus episode. Alright? The extended universe. It's canon. He's alive still. That rat. Okay, so Fred is staying at the lab yeah yeah if if sleek's not gonna stand by to protect dr ahem then steve will i mean fred will do his best and steve and steve whoever they okay we're ready to move on yes please this is the equivalent of me putting
Starting point is 00:20:22 a pokemon in storage box with, what's his name? Professor Oak. Professor Oak? Yeah. Even I knew that one. No, it's not. I was just going to let it slide, but there's a dude that runs the PC. What's the guy's name?
Starting point is 00:20:33 Yeah, Professor Oak. Bill. Bill. Bill. Not Bob. Bill. Yep, basically. Bill.
Starting point is 00:20:38 Bill. Bill. Bill. Bill. So where's this forest? Let's go. Pines. Go.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Fast travel. Y'all make your way back through Infinite's headquarters and head outside into the mountain air. The morning sun is peeking over the peaks of Boulderay and fresh dew drops are sprinkled across the grass and gravel. Y'all continue onward and eventually reach the southern
Starting point is 00:20:57 gate, which you previously had entered via. It's still closed and unbarred just as you left. Let's open the gate. Mud wants to listen to the gate. Mud wants to listen to the gate, see if there's someone on the other side. Sure. Or detect if the gate has a magic lock or something.
Starting point is 00:21:16 Oh, we're leaving. Should be okay. I know, but whenever it's just like, it's kind of like when you're watching a movie, and it's like, they're showing something extra right now that they shouldn't have to show. It's like, oh, something's about to happen. Chekhov's Gate. It's Chek like when you're watching a movie and it's like, they're showing something extra right now that they shouldn't have to show. It's like, oh, something's about to happen. Chekhov's Gate.
Starting point is 00:21:27 It's Chekhov's Gate. Or they just know our experience with doors. What am I rolling? Make a perception check. Love to. That's a 24. Amazing. You think that this gate is a big door that leads out of town.
Starting point is 00:21:42 You don't hear any talking. You said you were trying to see if you could hear anyone. You don't feel like you hear anyone on the other side of this gate. What's a check for traps roll? I think that's perception. Can I check for traps as well? Everyone else might think that you're wasting time. I don't think you're
Starting point is 00:21:59 wasting time. I think this is a great idea. Hey, remember when you unlocked the professor from the thing and it set off an alarm? No. You think I'm being serious? No, I'm not joking. I'm not saying that this is a waste of time. I'm all about this.
Starting point is 00:22:12 So the way you check for traps is the character who's actively looking for a trap makes a wisdom perception check against the traps DC. Okay. Wisdom perception check. Yeah. Then. Okay. Wisdom perception check. Yeah. Then I'm going to do that. Do I roll again? Yes. Because before you didn't say it before.
Starting point is 00:22:30 23. 23. No, you don't detect any traps. Well done. Well done. Okay. Okay. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:22:36 And wait, no. One more thing. I'm going to cast detect magic. I want to see if there's magic. I don't trust this door. I don't like doors. Doors are trouble in D&D. It's the third D of D&D. This party hates
Starting point is 00:22:50 doors. Dungeons and dragons and doors. That's what we are. That's right. You cast detect magic and you don't detect anything that you wouldn't expect outside of your party members and the magic items you all are carrying. All right. Pembroke, that's a very safe door if you want to go through it.
Starting point is 00:23:06 I think we should find an alternate route. Bart opens the door. Bart opens the door. Thank you, Bart, for having the initiative to do that. Bart opens up the door. Do you walk through? Does everyone walk through? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:21 Is everyone going to make a roll before walking through the door? Bart walks through. Bart takes initiative and walks through. I want to detect magic in the doorframe. There could be a bucket of water hanging above. We don't know. I hate you guys right now so much. Except for Barbara. I'm trying to go through the door too, for the record.
Starting point is 00:23:36 Okay, Gum Gum and Bart are through the door. What happened to them? Bart, make a survival check. Oh, cool. My God. We knew it all along. Both of us? You've done it, bud. No, just a survival check. Oh, cool. My God. We knew it all along. Both of us? You've done it, Mud.
Starting point is 00:23:46 No, just Bart. Eight. As you walk through the southern gates, a bug flies into your mouth and you become preoccupied with trying to spit it out. Can I have some? Gum gum. Gum gum.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Gum gum is gross, gross today. Gross. Mud and Kybar are just doing the whole like shoving thing of trying to push one of them through first Roll for strength Kyborg Bart takes the bug out of his mouth and throws it at Mud Mud catches it and puts it in his pocket Nice
Starting point is 00:24:20 Feeds it to Gumbo Okay we go through the door Alright Mud make a survival check Pocket. Nice. Feeds it to Gumbo. Oh, take that. Okay, we go through the door. Yeah, walk through the door. All right, Mud, make a survival check. 20. 20. You take a deep breath and close your eyes. Your senses tell you that Sordo had originally led you westward
Starting point is 00:24:36 when you were heading toward the Elder Pines in the past. And you also recall the forest floor being filled with sturges and hazardous plants and fungi. Oh, I remember that. Remember that, Barb? It's a dangerous path. Yeah. As you, you know, exit this gate, and before you, the main road splits off into two directions, east and west.
Starting point is 00:24:55 I don't remember being there. That's because you guys weren't there. Well, no, he said I was there. He said that there was fungi. Because I'm a fun guy. I'm Kyborg. I don't even know if Barb and Chris
Starting point is 00:25:07 are listening or anything because they didn't respond at all. My head is in my hands. So from our past experience, I do know that we need to go west. So we're going to go west. Okay. Look at you,
Starting point is 00:25:20 learning from past experiences. Do we have horses? We do not. Okay. Y'all are on foot. Okay. You head westward onto a narrow dirt path and a familiar hazy tree line comes into view. You travel
Starting point is 00:25:31 along the path to its end and eventually you find yourself in a clearing surrounded by thick elder pine trees shrouded in fog. You hear something snap and the rustling of leaves. As always, please don't forget to give us a follow or send us a message on social media, Twitter and Instagram. We are
Starting point is 00:25:53 at StinkyDragonPod. Maybe send us some of your favorite moments from the show so far. You never know, if you interact with us or use hashtag StinkyDragonPod, your name might get used as an NPC in a future episode. For example, Lil' Jimmy is named after James Kingsepp, who is at JimmyKing411. So congratulations, you are forever Lil' Jimmy. And don't forget, we got voice actors voicing some of our parts.
Starting point is 00:26:16 As always, Sleek is voiced by our own Ben Ernst, who's one of the producers on this show. Spectral is Christian Young, who also works with us over here at Rooster Teeth. And Dr. M is Micah Reisinger, who's the writer, editor, and composer for the show, A True Triple Threat. He's also a pun master extraordinaire, I'd say. Cryptocurrency might feel like a secret or exclusive club, but Coinbase believes that everyone, everywhere should be able to get in the door. Whether you've been trading for years or just getting started, Coinbase can help. Coinbase offers a trusted, easy-to-use platform to buy, sell, and spend cryptocurrency. They support the most popular digital currencies on the market,
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Starting point is 00:29:16 To discover how, visit bhp.com slash better future. Everyone go ahead and make a perception check all wrong okay who's there 19 15 16 24 nice good rolls all around oh man those are all really good so let's see gum gum you think you hear something or someone approaching from just beyond the trees in front of you. Everyone else is able to peer through the fog and spot two paths between the dense trees. To your right is a patch of mushrooms next to a bulbous plant, and to your left is a patch of leafy green ivy along the ground. Didn't we last time go towards the mushrooms? Are we at basically where we entered the forest last time that Bart and I did? Your roll was pretty good, right? Yeah. Yeah, this
Starting point is 00:30:07 looks familiar to you. Okay, so then we went, last time we went towards the mushrooms and we started floating around and dealing with carnivorous plants. So do we deal with the devil that we know or a new one? I mean, do we have any cool fire spells or anything? Uh, yes.
Starting point is 00:30:24 No, I don't. I must have gotten rid of them all. Wait, so it's the fungus was the one on that side, and then there was vines. We haven't gone through the fungus stuff? Let's go through something new. Okay. Yeah, let's trip.
Starting point is 00:30:36 Let's trip. Let's go. To the vines. To the vines. To the vines. You said we saw somebody coming through? Gum-Gum thinks he could hear something or someone just beyond the trees in front of him. There's someone over there.
Starting point is 00:30:52 But the rest of us could see what was... I'd say, yeah, you all could also hear that. But in addition to that, the rest of you were able to see the paths. Gum-Gum was not able to see the two paths. Okay. You're tied. Quick. Get off the road.
Starting point is 00:31:08 Get off the road. Do we know which direction that sound of like something snapping came from? It would be kind of directly in front of you. The way to think about it is like the way directly in front of you is obscured by trees. And on the other side of those trees is where you heard the sound from. To get around the tree, to see what it was, you could either go to the left or the right side to kind of get around it. That's what I described the different paths that you see.
Starting point is 00:31:34 Kyborg always goes left. Kyborg always goes left. But also, are we going to let John slip with that cute little voice crack that he just did? Oh, I noticed that too. Oh, yeah. Totally. It's a very adorable voice crack that he just did. Oh, I noticed that too. Oh, yeah. Totally. Very adorable voice crack. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:49 So wait, can Gum-Gum dive off the road into the brush? Because there's someone coming. Sure. Which way do you want to dive, left or right? Go left. Go, I guess, left. That's the spirit. Well, that makes sense because there's like ivy on that side.
Starting point is 00:32:04 So you could theoretically like obscure yourself. So Gum-Gum dives off the trail to the left side where the ivy is. So Gum-Gum, make a constitution saving throw. Uh-oh. 12? Not bad. No, not bad. You have a high constitution.
Starting point is 00:32:20 It's a 6 plus 6. Gum-Gum dives into the ivy and is working, trying to obscure himself. Nothing happens to him? Well, he's kind of hidden right now. Gum-Gum, you're okay? Shh, I'm down here. I guess he's gone. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Wait, so did Gum-Gum hear someone coming or is someone in fact coming? You all kind of heard like a snap beyond the trees. Bart turns himself invisible. With my cloak of many fashions or whatever it's called, I make it go like camouflage. That's cool. And then I crouch. Oh, yeah, that's super cool.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Make it go camouflage. Yeah, to match my surroundings. Okay. All right. Gum-Gum, make to match my surroundings. Okay. All right. Gum Gum, make me a perception check. 12. You feel a little strange. You feel like your center of gravity and your balance is a little off.
Starting point is 00:33:17 Just because of the lines? You're not sure. Can I look at Gum Gum and see what's going on? Can I perceive anything? Yeah, make a perception check. All right. 15. It looks like Gum Gum has a and see what's going on. Can I perceive anything? Yeah, make a perception check. All right. 15. It looks like Gum-Gum has a long spiked reptilian tail.
Starting point is 00:33:30 Oh, no. His dreams comes true. He's finally a dinosaur. Lizard people, he's an Illuminati. Kill him. Gum-Gum. Yeah. Can you show me your hands real quick?
Starting point is 00:33:41 Okay. Okay. Now, put your hands on your butt. Oh, my goodness. That's the most pure reaction ever. What is it, Gum-Gum? I don't know. There's more to me than meets the eye.
Starting point is 00:33:59 Are you a transformer? I don't know. I can't see it. It's behind me. Chase it. You got to chase it, Gum-Gum. Catch it. Okay. It's behind me. Chase it. You gotta chase it, Gum-Gum. Catch it. Okay. It's moving
Starting point is 00:34:08 fast. What is it? You'll have Gum-Gum chasing his tail. It's right behind you. Keep going. You'll catch it. Something after me. It's got a hold of my butt. So
Starting point is 00:34:23 Gum-Gum jumped into the vines. Ivy. Ivy, Ivy, Ivy. Is it like Ivy on the ground? Yeah. Okay. Could I try to do something? Yeah, go Bart.
Starting point is 00:34:34 Could I use my dagger to cut the Ivy that's around Gum Gum from the roots? Yeah. So you're just going to like go in there and start slashing at it? Or are you going to pick it up and like try to cut it at the base? Or how do you want to do that? I'm just going to slash at it. Okay. Yeah, I guess make an attack roll since you're slashing at it with your dagger. I like that Gus was
Starting point is 00:34:52 like, did you want to walk in there and slash at it and cover yourself in the ivy? Did you want to rub your face against it? Yeah, yeah. You got to be explicit. Do you want to lick it while you're slashing? Do you want to taste test the ivy? 22.
Starting point is 00:35:06 22, yeah. Good hit. You hit it. Go ahead and roll some damage, your dagger damage. That is seven. Ooh, that's good. Yeah, you start cutting away at the ivy, and you start clearing it up.
Starting point is 00:35:16 There's quite a bit of it, but you've cleared a little spot. I don't have a dagger, I don't think. Anything happen to Gum-Gum that I could notice? No, he's still chasing his tail, running around in a circle. Is he caught up? Does he have any IV connected or attached to him or touching him anymore? No.
Starting point is 00:35:33 Because he's running around. So no. Wait. What does my tail look like? It's like a lizard tail? Yeah. It's like long and reptilian and it's spiked. Spiked? You guys think we're going to have to amputate? Do I have a tail? Be honest. You do have a little bit of a tail.
Starting point is 00:35:51 But you know what? You don't have to put it that way. Sometimes Mutt has tails. It's not a bad thing. This is Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Uh oh. This is where we all get the tails. I personally, I think that we should see if Gum-Gum can keep this.
Starting point is 00:36:10 Because I think that Gum-Gum might like this tail. It could serve some purpose. Can we see if we can actually hold this and make it a cannon thing? Gum-Gum, do you want a tail? Yeah. I don't know. Do I? I think it looks pretty great on you.
Starting point is 00:36:20 I think it looks, it's a good look. Can I try wiggle it? Yeah. You're able to wiggle it around. Wow. That's pretty neat. And it has spikies. Yeah yeah can i touch my spiky tail yeah of course it's pretty long so yeah you're able to like curl it around and touch it oh i spiked myself you spiked yourself yeah it's pointy you take two points of spike damage. Oh, it's a weapon. Is there any rocks or logs or any weird debris that's just kind of hanging out on the trail
Starting point is 00:36:51 that's not in the ivy? No, I think you see it's pretty much just like a very solid floor of ivy. Hey, use your sword, Kyber. Help Bart. No, I mostly wanted to see if we could do like, I could throw like a rocker or something at him and see if he could hit it with his tail
Starting point is 00:37:08 and see if he could do damage or something. Get him out of the ivy first and then you can play catch with his tail. He's out of the ivy. Bart already cut him out and Gus was saying that he's no longer attached to it. Should I go back in and get more tails? I feel like it has, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:37:22 if it has anything to do with the ivy necessarily. Can I use a new spell? Yes. I'd like to use speak with plants. You imbue plants within 30 feet of you with limited sentience and animation, giving them the ability to communicate with you and follow your simple commands.
Starting point is 00:37:39 You can question plants about events in the spell's area within the past day, gaining information about the creatures that have passed, weather, and other circumstances. Ooh, you've been waiting for this one for a while, right? I forgot I had it. Ask them about Mr. Peanut. So you would also turn difficult terrain caused by plant growth
Starting point is 00:37:57 into ordinary terrain, or you can turn ordinary terrain into difficult terrain. Plants may be able to perform other tasks on your behalf. It does not enable plants to uproot themselves and move. If a plant creature is in the area, you can communicate with it if you share a common language, but you gain no magical ability to influence it.
Starting point is 00:38:16 This spell can cause the plants created by Entangle to release a restrained creature. Yeah, it's a very good spell. Okay, yeah. What's the range on this? 30 feet. Yeah, it's a very good spell. Okay, yeah. What's the range on this? 30 feet. Yeah. You cast Speak with Plants, and what do you want to do with that information? I want to talk to the
Starting point is 00:38:32 Ivy. Okay. Hello, my name's Mud. Do you by any chance have magical abilities that turned my friend into having a tail? We must protect ourselves with what we have available to us. So is that a yes? Yes. protect ourselves with what we have available to us. So is that a yes?
Starting point is 00:38:47 Yes. Thank you. That's very nice. You found out. It's very cool. I think that's a very amazing trick and I think my friend might actually prefer the tail.
Starting point is 00:38:57 But I'm curious, do these effects last forever or are they temporary? Temporary. Oh. What's the cure? Ask him if he can keep it.
Starting point is 00:39:08 Is there a way that we can make it permanent on our friend in case we think it's a benefit? Unknown? I actually do. Can I speak more to the general plants around?
Starting point is 00:39:23 There are no generals. We are all equal. No, I'm asking you, Gus. I'm asking you, Gus, if I can just address. I had to. I couldn't help it. You big dummy. General plants? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:35 Okay. Hello. So we're trying to find this lady that we think might be hiding in your forest. Is there a chance you've seen a, how do we describe Paralite? Scary looking. She had a cloak, right? Or something like that.
Starting point is 00:39:52 It's been so long since we've described her visually. I have a hard time retaining that information in my brain. I've always imagined her as purple. I don't know why. How have you described her in the past, Gus? As though we have seen her. If I were you in this instance, I think the best approach to take is to start broad and then narrow it down. Okay. Has anybody passed this way in the last day? A person like us?
Starting point is 00:40:14 The ivy replies again. Yes, there are patrols in the area. Have they gone your direction or towards the mushrooms? Both. Oh, all right. There are patrols nearby. They have taken the alpha stur Both. Oh. All right. There are patrols nearby. They have taken the alpha sturge. Oh, our friend.
Starting point is 00:40:30 Bart, the sturge was the thing that ate Sordo, right? Yeah. Oh, my God. Get him. They took our friend. Do you think maybe we could find Sordo this way? Sordo is here. That was ages ago, wasn't it?
Starting point is 00:40:42 Oh, yeah. That was ages ago. What can we do? That was ages ago, wasn't it? Oh yeah. That was ages ago. What can we do? How might we pass without disturbing you since you seem to be a little bit on the defensive? Ask if they need a human sacrifice and then I kind of indicate towards Sleek.
Starting point is 00:40:57 We can help clear a path. That is so lovely of you to do that. I appreciate it so much. It's so nice to meet kind spirits in the forest. This is a really powerful spell you got here. It sounds like a joke, but it's actually really useful. I mean, it's a third level spell, so I can't cast like willy-nilly. But if you're going to cast, speak with plants, do it in the middle of a forest.
Starting point is 00:41:19 Yeah, with plants that do strange things. Yeah, the ivy starts shifting a little bit. Like I said, it can't uproot itself, but it can move itself around a little bit to try to create a little bit of a clear path for you. Okay. And then it says, Danger! There are others nearby.
Starting point is 00:41:34 Others like you or others like us? Others like you. Oh, no. All right, so we can go this way, but there's patrols, so we need to be on the ready party. Okay. All right. I'm always ready.
Starting point is 00:41:47 Tell them I said thank you for the gift. And I stick out my tongue like a lizard, and then I say, I would give them a flower. And I make a flower. I thought you said, tell them I said. Hey. What flower do you give them? What do they want? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:42:04 I think that's almost like asking, like, you're giving them a person. Like, if you were giving a person another person. So, I don't know what you want to do. Ask them if they like flowers. My friend says thank you for the tale and wants to know if you like flowers. They are flowers. Some of our best friends are flowers. Yep, their friends are flowers.
Starting point is 00:42:24 I'll make a flower of one I see that is in the forest. Okay, I want to give you a friend. Sure. Make sure it's planted in the ground, though. Like, don't just, like, a disembodied one, because then they might take offense. Yeah. You see some, like, daisies nearby.
Starting point is 00:42:40 Do you want to make, like, some daisies, I guess? Just a big daisy. Okay, yeah. You pop up a daisy like on the edge by them or in the middle of where the ivy is. How do I do that? I guess on the edge by them. Okay. You pop up a daisy there on the edge of where the ivy is. I guess that's it. You can't talk to them. I hope y'all can be friends. Okay. Thanks again. Appreciate your help. I hope y'all have a lovely day. You're welcome.
Starting point is 00:43:08 You may call us Frank. Yay! Oh, we know a new friend. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank the Vines. Ivy.
Starting point is 00:43:16 Ivy. No. Frank and Fern. Nice. Where's Fern Golly? Yeah. So can we move the party along the path they opened up? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:29 Let's do it. You continue going west. Yeah, as we're moving, I utilize another spell, which is pass without a trace. Oh, nice. So we all have plus 10 bonus to stealth checks. Sweet. Okay. Plus I'm in camouflage.
Starting point is 00:43:47 Most excellent. As you are walking through this area and casting pass without a trace, an arrow bolt flies past between the party, nearly hitting you all, but missing. You missed. Is that your instinct to give them a proper sounding of where to shoot next? I just want them to know that there's a superior archer.
Starting point is 00:44:10 Show your face. I'll show you how to hit. It's just Kai for yelling. I could have hit me. Can we look towards where the bolt came from? Yeah. Make a perception check. I too will make a perception check.
Starting point is 00:44:21 I think anybody who got shot at can totally make a perception check. More than welcome to. Ah, 11. 24 perception check. I think anybody who got shot at can totally make a perception check. More than welcome to. Ah, 11. 24. 24, there you go. Bart is the only one who can see, actually, where the arrow appears to have come from. You don't see anyone there, but you see, like, some rustling in the brush, like someone probably fired at you and then began trying to hide or run away.
Starting point is 00:44:41 Should I return fire? No. I mean, they shot an arrow. That's the rules of engagement. Just don't be scared. Don't do anything too rash, Kyborg. But someone over there in those bushes just tried to shoot at us and hid.
Starting point is 00:44:56 I have an exploding arrow. I mean, we can just smoke them out. Charlie's in the trees. You're still invisible, right? Yeah, I cast myself as invisible, but I don't know if anyone caught it because there was like a thousand people talking. Yeah, I caught it. I heard you. Yep. Okay.
Starting point is 00:45:13 Could I go over to inspect those bushes? Yeah, go for it. Bart walks over to where he saw the person hide, but he's still invisible. Yeah, it's not too far away. It's like on the other side of a little clearing from where you got away from those ferns, and you see that there's a trail away. It's like on the other side of a little clearing from where you got away from those ferns. And you see that there's a trail there. It seems like someone was probably standing right here,
Starting point is 00:45:31 most likely fired at you and then retreated into the vegetation. So I can't see who it is. But you think that they're probably not very far. I also think they're not very good at shooting. I'd say pursue, Bart. Could I just like follow the trail of where I think they went? Yeah, absolutely. Why don't you go ahead and make me a survival check to see
Starting point is 00:45:49 if you can, like, pick up the trail. Ooh, nine. Nine. You start following the trail, but you think you veer off a little bit, and you stumble into some razor vine that's there in the vegetation. So go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw. Okie dokie.
Starting point is 00:46:06 23. Oh, that's really good. Okay, yeah, you lose the trail for a second, and you're about to step into some razor vine, and you know that that would cut you up, but you see it at the last second, stop yourself, and right your path, and you get back onto the trail. Looking for more clues.
Starting point is 00:46:21 Go ahead and make one more survival check for me. So bad at these. Should be good. 11. 11, good. 11. 11, a little better. After you step away from the razor vine, you're able to find a couple of footprints in the soft dirt.
Starting point is 00:46:33 And you can definitely easily tell what direction the person who fired the arrow went in. Could I tell if they're like humanoid footprints or like a different creature? Yeah, definitely humanoid footprints. Okay. I think I'm going to go back to my team and let them know that I know the trail
Starting point is 00:46:48 of where this person's going. Okay. So I guess we could pursue if we want? I want to pursue for sure. Can we pursue cautiously? Yeah, you pursue however you want. Cautiously, recklessly. It's all, it's wide open.
Starting point is 00:47:01 Well, we still have whatever mud cast on us, right? The path of the trace. Yeah. It's wide open. Well, we still have whatever mud cast on us, right? The Pass Without a Trace? Yeah. Yeah, let's stealthily pursue the trail that Bark shows us. Let's also keep in mind, they may be watching us. Yeah. Just for funsies, everyone go ahead and make stealth checks.
Starting point is 00:47:23 And does Pass Without a Trace just give you a bonus or just give you a damage? Plus 10. Plus 10. All right, so everyone make sure you add plus 10 to that. Good thing, because I rolled a 5. So 15 for me. 27. 22, plus 10. I'm the predator. I go 26. You have advantage though,
Starting point is 00:47:36 I think. So go ahead and roll it one more time. Because you're invisible. Alright, I'm invisible. 29. Also, Gus, just a reminder for you, the way that it works is we can't be tracked except by magical means, and we don't leave tracks behind. You got it.
Starting point is 00:47:49 Okay, yeah, you all are very stealthily moving through the brush following the trail that Bart had found. And before too long, you find yourself staring at an archer. He hasn't spotted you yet. It seems like he's looking around, trying to see where you guys are,
Starting point is 00:48:02 and he's trying to hide in a little bit of brush. Can I perceive, like, what his allegiance might be? Is he dressed like an Evergard? Like, what's... Do I recognize him? Yeah. You can see that he has a black cloak on. Is that what Evergards were wearing? Black cloak was the, uh...
Starting point is 00:48:17 Yeah? What? Did I miss something? I feel like I missed something. yeah what did I miss something I feel like I missed something you just got a looking sneaky dragon channel right now what is happening I was stretching my
Starting point is 00:48:39 I was stretching my I was stretching my wrist I'll post it on social. Yeah, that's 100% social post right there. He was doing a pose on his webcam. I've never seen another human being. That's amazing.
Starting point is 00:48:56 You know, it's when you want to stretch your fingers out, but also don't know how they smell when they're stretching. This might be the first time I've seen Chris look embarrassed. Oh, man. It was very funny. Sorry to interrupt. I don't remember what we were saying, too, now. Is that a cloak?
Starting point is 00:49:15 Oh, yeah. A black cloak. Wasn't that the bad guy cloaks? You believe, yes. You believe you remember the Evergards wearing black cloaks. All right. I want to shoot him. Can I shoot him?
Starting point is 00:49:24 Could we restrain him somehow. I want to shoot him. Can I shoot him? Could we restrain him somehow? Gum gum, hug him. If only you had friendship bracelets. That's what I'm saying. Gum gum. I jump. I choose you. Can I jump and try and hug him? Sure. With advantage. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:39 Much to his surprise, because you all are using Password Out of Trace, Gum Gum, and his tail emerge out of hiding and rush at him, arms wide open for a hug. Wait, I want to pursue this, like, Pokemon thing. Gum-Gum, use Tail Whip! Well, I can't if I'm hugging him. Yeah, Gum-Gum's going to grapple.
Starting point is 00:49:59 Maybe you can use your tail to, like, wrap around him as well. Oh, yeah! Grapple extra hard. Gum-Gum, use wrap. Yeah, go ahead and make a grapple check. I guess you can use strength. And you said at advantage because I'm surprised. I didn't say at advantage,
Starting point is 00:50:15 but we might give you like a little bonus because you have a surprise on him and you've got your tail. All right. So that's 24. Nice. Let me see. What is their stats?
Starting point is 00:50:25 They will make a dexterity check to try to avoid getting grappled. Oh, that's a 24. They have a plus four. But wouldn't that be at disadvantage then? Normally it would be a tie. But because of your tail, you're able to get like a little extra leverage and wrap him up. So you're able to successfully grapple him. Tie goes to the tail.
Starting point is 00:50:43 Yes. We're hugging now. I'm gum gum. to the tail. Yes. We're hugging now. I'm gum gum. Oh, man. I want to do that now. Next time I hug my wife, just grab her and be like, we're hugging now. I'm Gus. We're hugging now.
Starting point is 00:50:57 Take it. He seems very, very scared. Don't hurt me. Why would I hurt you? I'm hugging you. Can mud hurt me. Why would I hurt you? I'm hugging you. Can Mud approach? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:51:10 Hello, I'm Mud. Why were you shooting at us? They're forcing me to. It's my job. I'm on patrol. Who's forcing you? The Evergards. Classic I was following orders argument.
Starting point is 00:51:23 Who are you? I'm Little Jimmy. Little Jimmy? I'm the only little one around here, alright? Don't get that mixed up. Well, when you look at him, you figure he's probably called Little Jimmy because he's pretty scrawny. Our Bart is nice and stout. Jimmy is not. We prefer the word thick.
Starting point is 00:51:40 Thick Bart. Little Jimmy, why are you phrasing it that way as though you've been forced into the Evergard? Oh, I would never want to do anything to hurt anyone. You shot an arrow at us. Yeah, because I was forced to. Right. So why are you in the Evergard if you don't want to be firing arrows at people?
Starting point is 00:51:56 Because I was forced to. By who? The Evergards. So you're forced by the Evergards to be an Evergard. Yes. Okay. Are you getting paid? What are the benefits? So you're forced by the Evergard to be an Evergard. Yes. Okay. Are you getting paid?
Starting point is 00:52:09 What are the benefits? Do you get dental? Why did they say what happened to you if you didn't fight for them? They threatened to hurt little Jimmy. Are you actually getting paid, though? Are you getting something out of this? Well, yeah, they won't beat me up. Are you getting paid, though? Of course, I mean, well, yeah, you know, there's a cost of living stipend.
Starting point is 00:52:29 I have to be able to eat. So this is your job. This is your job, then. Well, yeah. Okay. So what's stopping me from shooting you with an arrow and actually hitting and actually not missing? I missed on purpose.
Starting point is 00:52:44 It was a warning. That's nice of you. Thank you. No, no, no. I like GumGum chiming in next to his ear. That's also nice of him. I want to see if this guy can hit a target to prove that he actually has control over his shots
Starting point is 00:53:03 or if he is full of it and actually missed us because he's a bad shot. I don't think that's necessary right now. I think it's more so necessary that we utilize this asset as a way for us to find more information for where Paralite is. Little Jimmy, do you know where Paralite is? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:19 I know where Paralite and the rest of the Evergards are. I can tell you. Could you show us? I'll tell you uh wait tell showing's better if i show up with you they're gonna get mad at me then they're gonna blame me no worry i'll put my friendship bracelet on you and then no one will question anything i don't know what that means or they'll question everything put my friendship bracelet on my shackles okay so you're now friendship bracelet to him? Yeah. Oh, I get it now. Okay, that's clever.
Starting point is 00:53:49 Here's the deal, Jimmy. Little Jimmy. Little Jimmy. Sorry. Thank you, Gum Gum. It's very important. Thank you. Thank you, Gum Gum. You're welcome.
Starting point is 00:53:55 What if you show us the way to the base or where they're hiding, and we don't make you take us into it, but that way you show us where it is, and then we'll let you go, because we know now where we need to go, okay? Sure, yeah. It's not too far from here. I want to take little Jimmy's weapons. He's got a bow and a dagger.
Starting point is 00:54:14 How old do you think little Jimmy is, roughly? That's a good question. Five years old. No, he's probably, we'll say he's like 17, human. How old is Gum-Gum again? Like 15. Yeah. I often forget, just again, that this is the child that is partying with us.
Starting point is 00:54:34 I'm going to take his quiver of arrows and his dagger. Okay. It looks like he actually has some nice arrows in there. Ooh. Oh, yeah? Do I perceive any fancy, cool exploding arrows or anything like that? You think you see some special arrows. Oh.
Starting point is 00:54:48 Okay, then I'm definitely taking those. Two special arrows. What are they? Do you know that? You don't know that. You just know that they're special. Okay, well, I take those, and I'm going to mark them in my inventory as special arrows, and then the next bad guy that we run into, he's in for a treat. They're special arrows. Arrows of healing. Yeah, they give you this. He's like, oh treat. They're special arrows of healing.
Starting point is 00:55:05 Yeah, they do. Oh, I feel super strong. They do. They do 1d6 damage, but heal 1d4. Are you goofing right now? Because I'm about to add these. That's totally a goof. That's a goof.
Starting point is 00:55:17 Okay. Because I could shoot those at my friends. Little Jimmy says, yeah, be careful with those. They didn't really train me how to use those ones yet. Anyway, the trail is this way To the west See, we're just making so many friends along the way We met Frank, we met Jimmy Is this like, are we in New York?
Starting point is 00:55:33 Why are all these names Frank and Jimmy? They're people who Talked with us on social media At StinkyDragonPod or hashtag StinkyDragonPod We're going to find a nice deer around the corner Named Bobby They're walking here, right? at StinkyDragonPod or hashtag StinkyDragonPod. We're going to find a nice deer around the corner named Bobby. They're walking here, right? Little Jimmy's named after at JimmyKing411.
Starting point is 00:55:51 Okay. Who's Frank? Frank's just Frank. Frank and Fern. Fair enough. Get it? Like Frank and Fern? Okay.
Starting point is 00:55:58 I didn't know if that was how fast you're able to pull a name from social. Little Joke. Little Joke. Like Little Jimmy. Yeah, just like Little Jimmy. Little Jimmy, however, leads you all a little to the west. You reach the edge of the forest clearing
Starting point is 00:56:11 and it's like a really dense grove of massive trees with sprawling roots and thorny vines dangling from overhead. Little Jimmy says, all you got to do is hold on to one of those vines and they'll pull you up.
Starting point is 00:56:23 That's where you got to go. Okay, you go first. No, you said you would let me go once I showed you where. I've altered the deal. Pray I don't alter it further. No, no, this is it. You got to let little Jimmy go.
Starting point is 00:56:35 Hey, Bart, do you think you could do a little bit of checking to make sure he's telling the truth about what's about to happen if you touch these things? You were just thinking what I was thinking. Bart uses his ring of truth. I believe that gives
Starting point is 00:56:46 you advantage on an insight check. So go ahead and roll two insight checks. Sure does. Big rolls. So we got one that's 18. Yeah. Nice. And the next one is 21. Nice. You do not believe he is lying. Alright, Jimmy. If we do get pulled
Starting point is 00:57:02 up there, what are we going to see? What are we going to be met with at the top of that? The village is up there, and that's where there's a little bit of an outpost there. In the trees? Yeah. Are we fighting Ewoks? I don't know what those are, but no. Yep, nub.
Starting point is 00:57:19 Yep, nub. Are there any guards at the top of this? Yeah, you got to be careful up there. There are definitely guards. They're weird looking. Are they better shots than you? Well, I don't know about that. Little Jamie's a pretty good shot.
Starting point is 00:57:33 If we go up, are we going to be immediately met with those guards? Or is there going to be an opportunity for us to like hide? No, normally they're not right here. Normally they're a little further in the village. Well, Bart's still invisible, so I can go up and scout. I like that. Yeah. I like that.
Starting point is 00:57:50 Maybe I have a signal. Like, you drop, like, a rock or something, if it's clear. Little Jimmy, what if he took me as your prisoner? We're not supposed to take prisoners. That's why I was trying to scare you away. Let's send the invisible halfling. As me. Little Bart. little Bart.
Starting point is 00:58:05 Little Bart. So, Jimmy, we're going to hold on to you for just a little bit longer to see what happens to Bart, all right? That's not what you promised. You know what? You've got a large orc boy with a tail wrapped around you, so you don't have much to say right now. That's what you think.
Starting point is 00:58:20 If Bart dies, then we might have an employment opportunity for you, little Jimmy. For another little friend. We will offer you something better than what the Infinites have offered you. We will not beat you up. The Infinites? The Infinites. I mean, the Evergards. You can join our crew.
Starting point is 00:58:39 Guys, let's take a vote. Go, Bart. Bart starts climbing up. All right, Bart, you grab onto one of the vines, and it starts pulling you up higher and higher above the forest floor until finally you climb past a layer of limbs and bows to find a lush treetop village settled amongst the large branches of one towering elder pine tree.
Starting point is 00:59:00 The vines continue to climb, and you reach a wooden platform just outside of a bungalow with a pair of windows and a wooden door. Okay, could I do a quick detect magic? Yeah. Detect magic within 30 feet or so. No, you don't sense anything magical around you within 30 feet. Okay, and could I do a quick
Starting point is 00:59:17 perception check just to see if there's anyone maybe like hiding behind any sort of leaves or plants or doors or anything. Yeah, you make a perception check. You're kind of on a little bit of a landing just outside of this like little bungalow. Okay. So it's like you're on the front porch of a house and you're outside of the house.
Starting point is 00:59:34 It's a good way to think about it. Okay. So there's windows though, right? Yeah, there's two windows. I rolled a one, but I'm lucky, so I'm rolling again. All right, 13. Lucky you. No, you don't notice anyone
Starting point is 00:59:48 or anything out of the ordinary. It seems like there's no guards around right now. Are there any little rocks around me that I could drop down? Just so you know, like little Jimmy said. Yeah, there's some rocks up here. Nothing big, not that you use as a weapon, but just some small stones.
Starting point is 01:00:04 Aim for sleek. Can I drop one down as a weapon, but just some small stones. Aim for sleek. Can I drop one down as a signal that everything is safe? Sure. Aim for sleek. A rock falls down from above in the middle of the party below. Does it hit anyone? No, I'm not going to make anyone
Starting point is 01:00:19 roll for that. Jimmy, you lied to us. You're throwing rocks at us. I trusted you, little Jimmy. No, no, Gum Gum. You're throwing rocks at us. I trusted you, little Jimmy. No, no, Gum Gum. It's okay. It's the signal. It's the signal. I'm okay with letting little Jimmy go at this point. I mean, do we
Starting point is 01:00:35 sleep? Cast him. Go make him go to sleep. Sleep. Our sleep machine went up into the trees. Okay. Sleep or spectral? Do you guys cast sleep? No. Sorry, Kyborg. We don't Do you guys have sleep? Uh, no. Sorry, Kyborg. We don't know that one. What?
Starting point is 01:00:48 No? That's okay. No. Oh, my God. What are you guys doing? Jimmy, it's okay. You can just stay with me. Can I knock him unconscious? Can I, like, put him in a sleeper hold?
Starting point is 01:00:57 No. Gum Gum, you want to use your new tail, your new fingled tail, to, like, choke him out or something? No, little Jimmy's my friend. I would never hurt him. Little Jimmy held up his side of the deal. I think we should let little Jimmy go and join our friend Bart. Why don't we let little Jimmy decide?
Starting point is 01:01:13 Why don't you guys hurry the hell up down there? I know. I'm trying not to let Bart die. It's safe. I sent you the dang symbol. It's just like, it's just a hail of rocks all coming down on us. Yeah, okay. Little Jimmy, what would you like to happen? Uh, little Jimmy would like
Starting point is 01:01:32 to go now. Thank you. Alright. It hurts me to say this. To hear that. I untether him. Okay. Consider our friendship over. Okay then. Okay, then. Good luck.
Starting point is 01:01:47 He runs off and back into the brush. I grab him by the cape. Give me your cowl. What? No. They're going to get mad at me. They're going to take this out of my stipend. Give me your bloody cowl.
Starting point is 01:02:01 Are you robbing me? Yes. He already took my weapons. You shot an arrow at us. You don't want to make this worse. Give me the cowl. Are you robbing me? Yes. He already took my weapons. You shot an arrow at us. You don't want to make this worse. Give me the cowl. He takes off his cape and gives it to you. Okay. I hand it to Gum Gum.
Starting point is 01:02:16 Oh, okay. I'll put it down. And then, all right, we should lock up Mud, and he can be our prisoner. Stop it. Mud grabs the vine. Thank you. You also begin ascending up with good boy Bart, who's progressing the story.
Starting point is 01:02:32 Good boy Bart. I change my cloak of many fashions to match little Jimmy's cloak, which is just black everguard, and then I also hold a vine and go up. Do it for the vine. All right. I'll do the same.
Starting point is 01:02:44 All right, I'll, you go up, and you're all also on that same little wooden platform outside the bungalow. I guess we should go in. Is the music like Donkey Kong themed up here? We're in like a different little world? Donkey Kong Jr. Okay.
Starting point is 01:02:57 I open the door? Okay, yeah, you open up the door, and it's a rectangular room with vaulted ceilings and windows. It's a pair of doors to the northern and southern walls, and a long wooden platform sits along the eastern wall with vines. And inside you see there's a few racks and shelves filled with equipment and weapons and stacks of barrels in between them. Anybody in here?
Starting point is 01:03:17 No, not that you see. Any good weapons? I mean, you can't really tell. You're a little far away. It seems like it's just mundane melee and ranged weapons, nothing that stands out from a distance. No special arrows? No.
Starting point is 01:03:28 Which direction are we coming from? You all came in from the east. Okay. So there's doors to the north and the south. Doors to the right and left of us. Okay. Here I am. Yeah, can I do a look around this room
Starting point is 01:03:43 to see if there's anything to be concerned about? Yeah, make a perception check, I guess. 17? 17. Yeah, now that you look closer, something does seem weird to you. Something seems off. You think that there's two creatures hiding in this room.
Starting point is 01:03:57 Where? Like behind the barrels, maybe? They're like humanoids that seem to be made out of wood, and they're blending into the walls. There's one by the north door and one by the south door. That's horrifying. Do they seem dangerous or just like they're hanging out?
Starting point is 01:04:14 This is their room. Well, they haven't moved yet, so you're not sure. Do that weird plant speech thing. It's for plants in particular. I think they're camouflaged. Do you want me to shoot one? Do you want me to shoot him?
Starting point is 01:04:28 Yeah, you take north, I'll take south. Wait, for real? Can we do this? Do it. Okay. I'll shoot my longbow triumph at wherever mud is pointing at me. You said they were creatures that look camouflaged to be made of wood? They're like, yeah, humanoid creatures, but they seem like they're made out of wood.
Starting point is 01:04:43 So they're like really blend in with the wooden walls. Okay. Oh man, I thought they would be something else. Like I can have my bow trained on them and then you can have your wand trained on the other. And then we just say, hey, we see you. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 01:04:57 Well, hey, wooden creatures, we will shoot you. We see you. You're right there. I see you. What are you doing? It, like, removes itself from the wall, starts reaching out towards you, Kyborg, as it says,
Starting point is 01:05:10 Contraband. What? No. My name is Gum-Gum, and he is Kyborg. Contraband. What are we bringing in that's contraband? Uh, the weapons. Our human flesh?
Starting point is 01:05:26 It fires a needle from its arm at you Make a dexterity saving throw, Kaibor Okay, that is a 19 Oh yeah, you easily dodge out of the way But as you move, the needle continues past you And hits one of the barrels Which then, for some reason, ignites and explodes Causing the bungalow to split in half down the center.
Starting point is 01:05:45 Whoa. Oh, goodness. I didn't do it. The party's all on one side with this being, and Sleek and Spectral are on the other side of the bungalow with the other being. Like, split? Like, are we in combat?
Starting point is 01:06:03 We're going to have to get into combat next episode so thanks for listening everybody we're back again next week find out what are those weird things what is contraband and what will become of the party without the aid of
Starting point is 01:06:15 sleek and spectral all right let's see you guys we'll talk to you guys next week bye who put exploding barrels in your treehouse bungalow yeah that's really dumb who what All right. We'll talk to you guys next week. Bye. Bye. Who put exploding barrels in your treehouse bungalow? Yeah, that was really dumb. What interior designer did that? you

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