Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Paralyte's Poison - Ep. 52 - End of An Internship
Episode Date: June 1, 2022Desperate to stop the Everguard invasion of Faeza, the Interns throw everything they have at Paralyte and her retinue in the quickly deteriorating underwater stronghold below Shearlake. But against th...e magnitude of the arcane powers wielded in the pursuit of Paralyte's domination, can the Interns prevent what is to come? Go to http://creditkarma.com to find the card for you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This is
a Rooster Teeth production.
Long time no see, my Demi-Liches.
Howl on into the stinky dragon and buy our latest beb, Satisfactory Phylactery.
It's a mixture of leech peach schnapps, cursed cream liqueur, and a few dashes of granadrine.
One drop of this lifeless libation is more satiating to the skull than slaying seven mortal souls. Previously, our adventurers rescued Gum-Gum from an abysmal fate,
made a new rocky relationship that led them to the place of shiny no-nos. There they egressed
through an embers gateway to uncover Paraliteites underwater lair where they became trapped with a few familiar friends but they managed to free
themselves fight underwater evergards and foil a force shield now only one
thing stands between them and Paralite an army of evergards can the party
prevail over Paralites parade of pawns or is this the end of the inordinate
infinite internship relax your restless skulls and let's see how this story Can the party prevail over Paralite's parade of pawns, or is this the end of the inordinate Infinite Internship?
Relax your restless skulls and let's see how this story unfolds.
Is this unbeknownst to us the finale of Stinky Dragon?
It's a happy total party kill episode, everyone.
We're here to revel in Paralite's victory over the Infinites.
We're here.
We're ready.
Get used to it.
Is her hand still injured?
Did I do lasting damage?
She had a glove on.
Rolling perception.
Oh, she got Luke Skywalker'd.
Like that was called out specifically.
I heard that.
Well, she always wears the gloves because the gloves are like her.
That's how she gets her powers.
That's the like item that she took.
That's why I planned to chop off her hands.
Oh, so like.
With your bow and arrow?
Like Michael Jackson and Captain E-Man.
No, he has a sword.
Remember?
He used it once.
Yeah.
Only for a special, special reason.
Yeah, but when you used it, you loved it.
Yeah, but also it was whenever
you realized he was using a shield the whole
time while using a bow and arrow
so maybe it has some like. Listen if it's on my back it means it's active.
Does anyone have a sword or a
knife that they've never used in this
game yet? I have hand axes that I've only
used as like items. Yeah I might have like
a hand axe or a javelin or something.
Cause I want this to be like Pirates of the Caribbean
where Jack Sparrow has that gun with one bullet in it
that he's saving for Captain Barbarossa.
And it's like someone's saving their knife for a paralytic's hand
and will not use it on anything else.
That's what I want.
I have a dart.
That'd be pretty anticlimactic.
Gum Gum has a very special flower he's saving up for her.
Do you want to share what kind of flower it is?
He's got to Google it first.
No, I'm thinking.
Is it the one that eats people? No, that's not big enough for her. Do you want to share what kind of flower it is? He's got to Google it first. No, I'm thinking. Is it the one that eats people? No,
that's not big enough for her.
A little shop of horror style? Feed me
gum gum.
The whole host
of Evergards roars with shouts of acclaim
and the pounding of armor.
You feel the atrium itself vibrating from the
deafening clamor. Paralyte holds up
a gloved hand pointing in your direction.
Evergards, it's time to end the Infinite interns once and for all.
Attack!
A horde of Evergards starts charging straight toward you.
Suddenly, a surge of water fires out into the crowd, knocking a platoon of Evergards to the ground.
Smash!
You see Bray standing at the bottom of one of the stairwells,
pressing a glyph on the ground.
On either side of her, two portals are gushing water
into the lower level of the Immersium.
The other Shear Rays rush to surround Bray,
protecting her from the onslaught of Evergards.
She looks to you all, points to the other three stairwells with glyphs,
and yells over the rushing water,
Flood the Immersium!
Okay.
If you remember... remember so spitting the immersium is just like a big circular area you all were kind of on a walkway on the upper
level and there were four little alcoves at the top and then there were stairways from each alcove
going down to the floor below yeah where there was like portals yeah in fact there's 24 portals
on the bottom floor you can see throughion. You can see through them.
It's like they're all opening up to various areas in Phasa.
And the stairs that I mentioned that go down from the alcoves,
they're all about from where you are,
it's about 20 feet down to the floor of the Immersion.
You knew we were going to ask, didn't you?
It's important to set the stage to head off these kinds of questions.
So the floor is where all the portals are and where all the guards are.
Correct. And we're up in one of the alcoves. The only way to then get to another. So Bray is at
another alcove. Yeah. If you remember when you all came into the Immersium, you all went to the left
and Bray went to the right. Bray and the Shear Race took care of the alcove to the east. You all
took care of the alcove to the west. So you see Bray has finished with her alcove and has come down to the lower floor.
Okay, so objective is get to the other two alcoves somehow.
What Bray is telling you is you can see Bray on the floor pressing one of the glyphs.
Oh, there's floors on the glyph down in the alcove.
Down on the floor.
Bray's saying, ladies and gentlemen, do the wave!
And everyone's dying.
And yeah, you can see that there are glyphs at the base of each of the stairwells on the
immersion floor.
A total of four currents.
Did we see if that glyph, pressing that glyph had any effect on that diagem core?
Roll a perception check for me.
I'll be that.
Gym core is the genre of music I listen to when I work out.
Thank you, John.
Perceiving a 17.
The diagym core
still seems to be as you saw it
before. Remember there's the eel
swimming around it. I don't know if you remember that.
Giant electrical eel from the previous episode.
Probably its pet. But yeah, it does not seem to
have had any effect on it that you can
ascertain. Didn't it like flicker? I don't recall
that. When we did our thing? The eel is like discharging electricity around it. Maybe that's what you can ascertain. Didn't it like flicker? I don't recall that. When we did our thing?
The eel is like discharging electricity around it.
Maybe that's what you're thinking of.
And the guy, there was someone in a cloak, a green cloak that was like... It was a cloak.
They were glowing green.
And what happened to them?
They ran off?
We fought.
Someone in a cloak?
What are you talking about?
When we went into the room with the water.
Oh, yeah.
There were three Evergards in the alcove and you dispatched
all three of them.
I thought there was one
that was like charging
up in the middle of it.
It was like a priest.
Yeah, there was like
a magic user
and two fighters.
Okay, and we dispatched them.
And that was your objective
with Bray.
You had to take care
of the magic user
on this alcove
and Bray went to take care
of the other one.
Okay.
We're all caught up.
People who are listening
to these back to back
are like,
God, they have
such terrible memories.
They just did this
five minutes ago. I know. Right after i ate my subway sandwich not sponsored so a final catch so what
what did what did bart see what did you see bart with your perception uh nothing no change to the
diagem core oh that's what you were looking for okay yeah so you don't have much time you know
bray has told you what you need to do to accomplish your task to deal with all of the everguards here
time is short.
Where's a rune?
I want a rune to step on.
What if I shot it?
Just real fast.
You only have a short amount of time in order to accomplish all of this.
And that time starts now.
Oh, shoot.
Should I shoot it?
You want me to take a shot?
Sure.
Do it.
I looked back to see if Gus actually had a timer going.
Longbow of triumph.
I'm going to shoot at the gym core.
All right.
Go ahead and make an attack roll.
That is a nat 20 plus 10. Ooh. 30. Go shoot at the gym core. All right. Go ahead and make an attack roll. That is a nat 20 plus 10.
Ooh.
30.
Go ahead and roll your damage.
All right.
And ka-chow.
Ka-chow.
13.
Does it automatically put the plus?
I don't know.
It says crit 13.
Yeah.
It put your crit attack in there.
It didn't calculate it the way I do.
The way I would have calculated it, you would have done an additional three point of damage.
So that's a 16.
Yeah.
Your arrow flies true, striking the glyph dead on,
but it doesn't seem to have any effect.
Damn, I can't believe I went to that.
Like, does it not even get pressed in?
It's touch sense too.
Not as far as you can tell.
How far are we from that glyph?
Like 20 feet, right?
Yeah, correct.
You all are in the air.
There are various glyphs at the bottom of each staircase.
And now that you're looking,
you can see that Everguards are rushing to the portholes that
have been opened by bray and are trying to block it and stuff it up with whatever they have like
cloaks shields rope so you said 20 feet huh dash away feet to the closest one and then there are
others around um the immersium could i potentially how far are they are they from each other so if
like let's say i was standing on one of the glyphs,
how far would the next glyph be from that?
I'm measuring with my fingers.
It looks like about 80 feet.
Dang it.
Okay.
80 feet to the closest ones,
and then maybe a little further,
like 100 feet to the one furthest away.
Gum Gum, don't you have the little teleporter?
I got some leather sacks of exploding jelly.
If I put them on my arrows.
I don't know if that's going to happen.
I think we need to go actually touch these.
No, no, not for the glyphs. Oh. For the
evergards you're trying to plug up the thing. They'd be
a lot harder to plug up a hole that's been exploded
jellied. Well, it's a portal. I don't know if that
explodes it, but yeah, it would at least do some
damage. To the evergards. Bart,
it seems like you're trying to head
towards the glyph. Yeah, I want to go press one. Go for it.
Could I go run and press one of the glyphs?
Closest one to me? Uh, yeah.
You're just going to run, dart down the stairs,
and try to press that glyph in front of you.
I'm going to cast invisibility first.
Okay.
On myself.
All right, so cast invisibility.
Just in case.
And then you run down the stairs?
Yes.
All right.
From everyone else's perspective, Bart seems to pop out of existence.
Oh no, Bart!
But then down below, you can see that the glyph in front of you
appears to get pressed and more water starts flooding into and gushing into the immersion from another portal.
So these are all just water things then?
They all have that same three line graphic on them.
What is the furthest one away?
It's about a little over 100 feet away, but that's the one where Bart is.
Correct. But that's the one that Bray has pressed.
The other two away from Bart are about 80 feet to the north and 80 feet to the
south. Okay, I'll go for the south
one. Wait, I have a question.
How much water is in the place now?
It's pretty quickly filling up, but it's such
a vast room that it's not to the point
where you need to struggle to keep your feet
yet. Okay. Is it enough where
maybe a dinosaur?
Not quite yet. You need a little
more water than that.
Could I run and use my ring of jumping
to jump towards the furthest one away?
I guess you said you're going south,
so I'll go north.
Yeah.
North is to the left.
I'm going north.
I'll go south.
And then is...
Also, like all these portals opening up
around the land,
it's like, meanwhile, in Pius' past,
there's just water coming into some dude's kitchen.
He's like, what's going on?
You all are running short on time.
Go, go, go.
Yeah, how far can I go if I run and jump?
What's your base movement?
My base movement is 40 feet.
So if you double moved alone, that would be 80.
And then your jump, I mean, you would do a triple jump.
Let's say you'd get about 30 feet of jump.
So I could make it 100 feet all the way to the further one absolutely you're only 80 feet away okay could
i jump to there and double speed and then i can't use an item so i couldn't use my but you can get
there far yeah i was gonna try and get two all right no yeah you uh run to the uh southern one
jump over evergards and make your way there they all look up at you kind of free willy style as
you fly over their heads. Land on the glyph
and manage to press it and it clicks and more
water starts pouring into the immersion.
And while I jump I go, hi guys!
But
turn into like a hamster or something
right? I will grab you
and then I will double speed over
and I'll throw you over. Oh my god that's a
great idea. That's a great idea.
That's the smallest thing I've seen.
Wait, I gotta see what-
You've been a hamster before, right?
Have I been a hamster?
Or a rat, maybe?
Tick tock, tick tock.
We're being timed.
Just do it.
Be a hamster.
This is in mud brain time.
I'm just looking at mud brain.
We know you got badger
and I can carry a badger.
I can be something heavy like a hedgehog.
I could be a kitty.
I could be heavy like a hedgehog.
All right, a kitty.
I could be a kitty.
He can only be things he's seen.
All right, Gus, he turned into Meowd. All right, so I'm gonna pick up Meowd I could be a kitty. I could be a kitty. He could only be things he's seen.
Gus, he turned into Meowd.
I'm going to pick up Meowd and I'm going to double his speed to that 70 feet
and I'm going to toss him the rest of the way.
Make a strength check or an athletics check
to toss him.
Come on, Meowd.
It's mud. That's what that is.
I was like, why does he keep saying Meowd?
The cat version of mud. Meowd. I'm a kitty. That's what that is. I was like, why does he keep saying meowd? It's the cat version of mud. Meowd. I'm a kitty.
That's a
13. 13. That's what you needed.
You managed to
toss meowd through the air.
It lands on the glyph.
Setting it off.
Just throw the cat. Cat's not
heavy enough. It doesn't go down. Is this where
we find out this isn't what we needed to do?
Foosh. A torrent of water gushes into the Immersium, flooding the lower level.
A few Evergards manage to scramble through the Immersed Gateways, but everyone else is
inundated with the raging flow of water. Over the chaos, you hear Bray call out to you.
My fellow Shearers and I will deal with these Evergards. They will rue the day they invaded
our home. You four go after Paralite. It looks like she's protecting the pair of mages
that are conjuring the force shield around the Diagem core.
We must reach the core before more Evergards escape through the gateways.
Can I run back to Kyborg and get up on his shoulder?
Sure, you're still a kitty.
I'm a kitty.
Do we need to keep pressing these, though?
Oh, is it like a hold to keep having water,
or is it just a push and then it goes down?
It appears to be a toggle.
You press it and then it activates. Good gamer speak.
Do we need to keep pressing these
in order for you guys to do
what you gotta do, Bri? No, you're
good.
Thanks.
He thinks we're good.
So they're up. They're up
on like the northern alcove. Now,
when you say that Paralite
is protecting them,
is it just like she's using her body
or does she have some sort of force field stuff of her own?
You might want to go up there and find out.
Well, I also wrote down that Paralite seems to be using
the Diagem core to control the Evergards.
Yeah.
How far away is Paralite from these?
Where's the north alcove from us?
To the North.
Well, I'm in the North.
Yeah, he went North.
So he tossed you to the Northern Glyph.
I'm North.
I'm pointing at Mud.
That's a terrible thing for an audio podcast.
I'm more North.
Mud was tossed to the Northern Glyph.
So Mud is at the base of the stairs that lead up to the Northern Alcove.
Don't worry, guys.
That's a kitty I just heard back.
Don't worry, guys. I've got this. this all of a sudden he rolls onto his back and wants belly rubs yeah
don't worry i have claw attack it's a plus zero to hit nice i'm looking at the cat stats they're
not good uh bart wants to start moving towards the north okay because i know it
probably takes me a couple movements to get there just to be totally clear you have two options
part you can try to continue on the ground which is flooding with water very rapidly and filled
with portals and evergards or you can go back up the stairs on the upper level and walk around that
way that way is a little further i'll go up. Just because I don't think Bart's a very good swimmer.
No, I don't think halflings are known for the swimming.
I'm also very dense, so I'll probably sink.
Oh, true.
That's how it works.
That's not how human bodies work.
You're thick like a hedgehog.
Exactly.
Yeah, we all know that you, Barbara, in real life, float more than Blaine, who's denser
and just goes straight to the bottom of the pool.
That's how it works.
Anatomy, I studied biology.
We talked to you about this. Bones sink. So Bart is big boned.
Big boned, yeah. Just like Cartman would say.
Yeah, would sink straight to the bottom of water.
I'm not fat. I'm big boned.
Could I follow Bart, though I don't see him, I guess?
You're in a different alcove.
I know. I'm way on the opposite side. Yeah yeah you are in the southern portion of the immersium so to get to the northern point
uh you have to kind of like go around the diagem core which is the middle of the immersium so you
can kind of like go on the ground to the left or to the right or go back up the stairs to the upper
level and go around the immersium but be aware that evil eel is down there, so don't get
too close because it'll attack you. And the
priests are protecting the Diagem Core?
Who are you talking about? The priests are
making a force field around the Diagem Core
and Paralite is protecting the priests. I want to be clear.
Magic users. Magic users
are there. They're not priests. Correct.
And the giant eel is there with the Diagem Core
as well. No, Catholic priests. Correct.
But the magic users are in the northern alcove with Paralite.
The Diagem Core is in the center with the eel.
Oh, and so they're from a distance casting to protect.
Correct.
So we need to go to the magic users and Paralite.
How far are they from me if I jump?
Glyph to glyph from where you are to get from the southern glyph to the northern glyph, it's about 100 feet.
But the Diagem Core is blocking in the way. So like like i said you have to go either to the left around or the
right around it's like think of the immersium like a donut you're in the southern part of the donut
you cannot go through the hole you have to go to the left or the right around the hole the donut
helped there's an eel in the hole and there is an eel in the in the. Okay. Well, I guess I'll run and take a big jump to the right.
Okay.
Which would be to the east, which is where Bray and the Shear Rays are.
Yeah.
Okay.
So you're going to the eastern way.
You're not going to be able to make it the entire way.
What do we say you could do?
If you double move, it's 80 and then jump and bring me another 30.
So that's about 110.
You're going to be a little short of the entire way.
Like I said, it's about 130, 140 feet. But you do clear most of the distance and you close in to within about 20 feet of the glyph on the northern part of the Immersium.
Where is Paralite's attention?
Paralite is in that northern alcove surveying the chaos below her, keeping a close eye on all of you.
Except for me because I'm invisible.
Make a stealth check.
God dang it.
15. Then you get plus 10. Oh, wait no you take you get it with advantage yeah so i roll again that's a 30 wow i rolled a 20 and then i
have a plus 10 on my stealth so damn sneaky i don't think paralite will be able to perceive
that but i'll make a perception check just for fun i knight. Paralyte doesn't seem to be staring at you particularly, Bart.
It's a very passive way of saying she doesn't see you.
You're doing a great job.
You're so invisible right now.
So I'm the closest to Paralyte.
I'm like 20 feet from the magic casters in Paralyte.
Correct.
And Kyborg is only what?
Like 10 feet.
10 feet below behind me?
Oh, yeah.
Kyborg did run and then throw.
So yeah, correct.
About 10 feet.
Okay.
Should we address Paralite?
I'll just walk the rest of the distance to get up close.
Walk a super cool action star walk.
Not moonwalk in.
Roll for moonwalk.
No.
So you all, we'll say everyone meets up at the northern glyph.
Yeah, let's say that.
Okay.
What does the party want to do now that everyone is together?
I want to hiss.
I want to shoot.
I mean, if we're waiting for the thing to initiate initiative,
then whoever has the highest attack should probably just attack right now.
Just get a pot shot.
Can you, but question, can you place a kitten on the end of an arrow and shoot it?
Find out on our TikTok where we check this challenge.
If I came around the top though,
if I went upstairs, where am I?
I assume you wouldn't walk back down.
Right.
So yeah, okay, you are at the top then.
Okay.
Bart, as you reach the final chamber,
you see the alcove is larger than the others
and stocked with crates, but it isn't full of water.
Before you is a row of archers with their bows drawn.
Ah, dang it.
And behind them are two robed mages glowing green as they gesture and chant their force shield spell between the two mages stands
paralite she lowers her hood and you see one half of her pale face is disfigured while the other is
contorted with rage her deep black eyes glare down at the four of you wait did we disfigure her yeah
remember the uh the rain oh yeah Can't you see the bigger picture?
The Infinites are no more.
You're the interns of nothing.
Only I can save Faiza.
Me.
No one else.
You insolent nobodies have meddled in my plans for the last time.
This ends now.
Paralite dons her hood and vanishes into the crowd of Evergards.
Everyone roll initiative. So we don't know which one
she is. Before she disappears, can I
go, save Faiza, but you can't
save face, huh? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I hope that didn't anger her more. 22. 9. 19.
10.
Yeah, you all look into the crowd,
and of course there's several Everguards ahead of you in that alcove.
Then without warning, one of the Everguards steps forward
and rushes down the stairs, closing the distance with Gum-Gum.
And very quickly takes a swing at Gum-Gum.
Hold on. I thought he was an archer.
Who?
You said there's three archers and two magic casters.
Yeah, and Paralyte.
So this guy's rushing and not using his archery.
He's using a sword.
Correct.
That's like archery 101.
This person's rushing Gum-Gum and taking a swing.
Instead of being an archer.
When I say a swing, I mean like a punch.
Again, instead of shooting their bow and arrow?
Correct.
All right.
I mean, we won't complain.
I think that just confused me.
I'm like, archers have their one move.
Wait, I bet this is some kind of like death touch.
This is illegal.
This is illegal.
No, be careful.
Hit AC 24.
Gum Gum, make a constitution saving throw.
Uh-oh.
As a little kitty, I pull out a red flag and I say, illegal move.
Foul on the play.
Foul on the play.
But it sounds like, foul on the play.
11.
Gum Gum, you feel all of your limbs begin freezing up.
Why is he...
Leave his limbs alone.
Oh, man, not again.
So where are they frozen?
Like T-posing or at his side or what?
How are you standing, Gum Gum?
I guess I was standing, like, holding a sack of...
Exploding jellies.
Exploding jellies.
Well, you're holding your exploding jelly.
You get rushed and a gloved hand takes a swing at you,
striking you, freezing you in position
as you take 13 points of damage.
Gloved hand, huh?
Who could that possibly be?
Watching Chris just click on his cursor,
13 damage points, the most depressing thing.
I get it, that's Paralite.
The figure that rushed down reaches under
a cloak and tosses
a sharp item in the
direction of Mud. Mud does a
25 hit.
If I'm in the mood.
Which I'm not right now, so I'm just gonna
say no. I'm okay. Well,
unfortunately, a dart flies in your direction,
piercing your skin, hitting you.
You must also make a constitution saving throw.
Oh my goodness.
19.
Oh, you feel really sick, like almost nauseous, but you're able to like shake it off.
Yeah.
And wave it off.
Good job.
Because I'm a kitty.
You're a kitty who takes...
I am not going to be a kitty any longer.
She is going to dart the kitty out of you.
21 points of damage.
Oh man, I'm no more kitty
i guess i'll take some damage was that 21 yeah all right then the hooded figure raises a clenched
fist in the air and yells fire and a volley of arrows rain down on the party everyone except
gum gum can make a dexterity saving throw even me Even though they don't know where I am? Oh, not you. So only Kyborg and Mud. 21.
Nine, but I'm going to reroll because I'm lucky.
I hate that lucky.
I hate it so much.
Let me double check that I am indeed.
Oh, you may have used all of them already.
I don't know if we've had a rest. I thought he saved some.
I thought he saved one.
One.
Yeah, I think it was one.
I do remember that.
I didn't, but I have a inspiration die.
Okay, that you can do.
Taking the inspiration off.
Rerolling dexterity.
Eleven. Oh, that's good enough.
Actually, that did save you.
So you all only take half damage
as a volley of arrows rains down
upon you from above. So each
of you take three points of damage.
After you've taken 21, three still is like, oh, okay. That's a lot. Gus each of you take three points of damage. Oh, that's not too bad. After you've taken 21.
Three still is like, oh, okay.
That's a lot.
Gus, do I take six then?
Because I didn't get to dodge it.
Oh, correct.
You take the full six.
Now he froze in the perfect position
where the arrows just went right around him.
And now it is your turn, Gum Gum.
However, all of your limbs are frozen in place.
You seem to be unable to move.
Only my limbs or can I move my body and neck and mouth?
No, you're entirely frozen.
Okay. You're entirely stuck. Am I able to rage as a bonus action?
Huh. I'm still angry. I know I can.
Yeah, I think you can. Yeah.
Yeah, because that's not like a physical thing
you do. It's like you just get really mad.
He's a statue, but he's an angry statue.
An angry statue. Alright, so I'm going to rage.
Like Luke in the Wampum's Cave.
And I'll roll my random rager. Alright, so I'm going to rage. Like Luke in the Wampum's cave. And I'll roll my
random rager. Oh, right.
And see what happens.
Do any of them dispel all magic
in the immediate vicinity and give
your party plus 20 health?
Any chance that's one of your abilities?
I summon a flump.
Well, alright.
I roll the three. An intangible spirit
which looks like a flump or a pixie.
Five feet of one creature of your choice
that you can see within 30 feet of you.
At the end of your current turn, the spirit explodes,
and each creature within five feet of it must succeed on dexterity.
Saving throw, take 1d6.
Force damage until your rage ends.
You can resummon this flump.
Can the statue decide where the flump goes?
Yes.
Okay.
Well, good thing they're all grouped up there at the top there bud. You don't need your exploding gels. Yeah, you have an exploding fairy
So the magic casters are 30 feet away. Gum gum. I feel like we keep encountering this flumpf. Uh-huh. What's its name?
Oh this flumpf?
his name is um
Like a spagetti monster. A giant jellyfish. His name is
Bush boy. Bush Boy.
Bush Boy.
Bush Boy the Flump.
Bush or Butch?
Bush.
Bush Boy.
I hope we don't cut out any of the time it took Chris.
I want all the one-
Honestly, let's extend it, I guess.
So up the stairs is 20 feet,
and then the first ever guards you can see,
it's like the archers,
they're 10 feet away from there.
So they're 30 feet from the base of the stairs.
Then the magic casters are recessed another 10 feet behind them.
So the magic casters are probably a total of 40 feet away from the base of the stairs.
Okay, well, I want to put my flump.
He has a name.
I want to put Bush Boy over it.
If I can get close enough to hit the magic users, I would.
But if not, I guess the archers in front of them.
Yeah. What's the range on the flump? It is 30 feet. Yeah, so you can get to the arch enough to hit the magic users, I would. But if not, I guess the archers in front of them. Yeah.
What's the range on the flump?
It is 30 feet.
Yeah, so you can get to the archers, not the magic users.
And then it's a five foot radius around the flump.
You'd be able to get two of the archers at once if you wanted to.
You can either choose, I mean, definitely the one in the center
and then either the one on the left or the one on the right from your perspective.
All right, then I will do, I guess, the one on the right.
Okay, so you create
your flump at the top of the stairs
between the archers favoring
the east side.
I'm frozen. You're frozen. Let it go.
Nothing. I just can't
do anything besides the... Nothing that requires any
movement. Okay.
Can he cry? Tears could
roll down his eyes, but there would be no
sobbing.
Weird. So, Chris, do you want to cry? Iars could roll down his eyes, but there would be no sobbing. Weird.
So, Chris, do you want to cry?
I mean, I might be crying.
This is what it sounds like when Gum-Gum cries.
Yeah, I mean, I don't think there's anything else I can do.
This is what it sounds like when a Gum-Gum cries.
Can I drop stuff?
No.
Okay.
This is an opportunity for mindful meditation for Gum Gum
to slow it down once in a while and really think about, you know.
Okay.
And then I guess I'll use my...
Here's what I can do.
Oh, here it comes.
I'll bolster myself.
You can touch oneself, including yourself.
Nope.
Well, I'm not touching myself.
I'm just like myself.
It says you can touch.
It's like my guidance.
I have to slap myself. Yeah. I have to give myself a little can touch. It's like my guidance. I have to slap myself.
Yeah.
I have to give myself a little tummy rub.
You can't just go.
You can't move his hand.
No, you're just like, you have to go out of your way to make a new touch.
What if his tongue, which is inside of his body, touches the roof of his mouth?
Frozen.
Okay.
Nice tongue.
Guys, let it go.
What about the medulla oblongata?
Is that frozen?
Uh, no, because he can still think.
All right.
Well, my flump explodes and I'm like, guys.
Well, I can't say anything.
It's just breathing.
It's just like labored breathing.
His throat's probably frozen.
So, uh, your flump detonates.
Go ahead and roll your damage for that.
All right.
It's a d6 force damage.
Okay.
Who's next so they know what they're doing?
Uh, next is Zam and then Kyborg.
Oh, what? They roll better than me? Yeah. Impossible. Who's next so they know what they're doing? Next is Zim and then Kyborg. Oh, what?
They roll better than me?
Yeah.
Impossible.
Not hard to do.
Got him.
One.
The flump explodes above you in the alcove,
dealing a point of damage.
Your turn's over, right, Gum-Gum?
Inspiration.
I don't have an inspiration.
No, my turn's over.
Okay, so go ahead and make another constitution save
to see if you're able to free your limbs.
It's 11.
Now your limbs are still frozen in place.
You're trying your best to will yourself to move again,
but it doesn't seem to be working.
All right, it's their turn.
So the one at the top who did not get damaged by the flump,
they're going to go ahead and take their turn.
They pull up a crossbow and they aim it at i'm
gonna roll to see who they're taking aim at nobody themselves whoa it happens cyborg oh you're a
rookie you use a crossbow you're not a real archer you're a fake personal a crossbow bolt flies out in your direction, hitting AC 13.
I'm a 16.
You're a rookie.
You're bad at your job.
Boo!
Boo this man!
Boo!
The enemy seems very upset at your yelling and pops down to one knee, closes an eye,
really tries to aim and fires off another crossbow bolt.
Oh, here we go, guys.
Here we go.
Boo! There's a boo coming from an invisible body. and I really tries to aim and fires off another crossbow bolt. Oh, here we go, guys. Here we go.
There's a boo coming from an invisible body.
They can't tell.
Just casting your voice.
It hits AC 22.
Oh, you got this one,
but I bet it's nothing.
Okay.
The bolt flies through,
hitting you for 13 points of damage.
Ah, that's nothing.
Oh, shoot.
Hold on.
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So thank you if you do. If you don't, you better go give us a follow at StinkyDragonPod.
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Social media is the lifeblood of podcasts.
We would really appreciate it.
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Is it something?
I had temporary heals and then then I was hitting damage,
and I think I hit it four times before I realized,
oh, it's not taking up my HP, but I think I got it.
You got it?
Yeah.
Okay, the crossbow hits you.
You must have really angered them.
It hits you for 13 points of damage,
and now you need to roll a strength saving throw.
Okay.
That's a 10.
Plants sprawl out from the arrow, plants and vines.
They grow at a rapid pace, entangling you and then growing into the floor, pinning you to the floor in position.
That's a little Jimmy arrow.
Hi, Borg.
It is your turn.
Oh, no.
Do you think little Jimmy's one of those archers?
He couldn't be.
He couldn't be, could he?
No way.
All right, well, then I want to get out of that.
So, I mean.
Could you see if you recognize anyone?
Yeah, can I perceive if one of those guys is Little Jimmy?
Is this a bonus action?
Yeah, make a perception check.
That's 18.
You look around at the faces, and none of them seem familiar to you.
You don't think you've met any of these people in the past.
Yeah.
All right.
I couldn't, I don't know if I could take that betrayal.
Just FYI, after Kyborg is them again
and then Bart and then Mud.
So I have like hand axes and a long sword
and stuff like that.
So I'm pinned to the ground.
Yeah, so your condition, technically speaking in D&D,
it's called restraint.
So your speed is zero.
You don't get any bonuses related to speed.
Okay. Attack rolls against you have advantage,
and your attack rolls have disadvantage.
Okay.
And you have disadvantage on dexterity saving throws.
Am I able to use an attack to cut myself out of these vines
to free myself from this condition?
Yeah, you have like a dagger or something
you could try to like cut out of the...
Got a hand axe.
Yeah, you could try it.
You could use an attack action to like get a hand axe and then start chopping yourself out all right i take one of
my hand axes and i started hacking away that is a 20 all right yeah 20 plus 7 yeah go ahead and
roll damage okay 10 but i think that's before you wanted to add the modifier that you normally add
oh wait when you made that attack roll did you make it with disadvantage? No, I did not. Yeah, go ahead and roll one more time. Sorry about that.
All right, that is a fart.
That's an eight.
Eight.
You fumble to really connect.
Like, you're so restrained.
You're able to get your handaxe out,
but you can't get quite the right angle to chop at the vines
and the plants to really get a good hit on them.
So I'm still restrained.
Okay, well, I have another attack,
so I'm going to take it at disadvantage.
Same thing with my hand axe.
Attacking the vines? Yes.
The first one is a 21, and the second one
is a 14. Yeah, you learn from your
earlier mistake, and this one you're able to
shave away enough of the vines to make a
solid connection, so go ahead and roll damage
on that. Five. Yeah, you're able
to free enough of the vines that you're able
to with your brute strength break. That's right. Can you hear that? Brute strength. Huge. Yeah, you're able to free enough of the vines that you're able to with your brute strength break through.
That's right.
Hear that?
Brute strength.
Huge.
I'm ripped.
Okay.
Well, those were my two attacks,
so I'm going to see if I have any bonus crud I can do.
Action surge.
Oh, my God.
Did you just remind me of that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We're doing that.
I didn't remind you.
How'd you forget?
You'd love that action surge.
No, I just haven't used it in a while. It's like your move. Yeah, I know
We're taking two more attacks. I bring out my longbow of triumph
I aim at the son of a gun that just shot his stupid arrow at me, and I'm gonna pull out my little Jimmy arrow
It's my last one in stock. You have to go to the store and buy more And I'm gonna take my shot
Don't throw it away
24
Yeah, that easily connects
You show that supposed archer in air quotes
What for?
Yep, and then I do
8 points of damage
Does he get the vine stuff?
This is a little Jimmy arrow
Oh, that was a little Jimmy arrow, right
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Let me double check
I think I have two of those left
Yeah, special arrow, one I'm gonna delete that from my inventory goodbye sweet arrows thank you for
your service yeah goodbye little jimmy arrows yeah your arrow connects and you feel like some
kind of arcane energy surges out of it enveloping the foe that was struck you're not quite sure
exactly what it did but it feels like it did something yeah yeah how's he looking uh pretty
messed up.
That's what a real archer looks like.
All right, I'm going to have,
I got another action,
or sorry, another attack.
Is that two attacks?
Yeah.
One action.
So geographically speaking, how far is he from the other people?
Because there was the other two that...
Yeah, at the top of the stairs.
So it's about 30 feet
to like the front row of the three archers.
It's five feet to that person's left
is the archer in the center.
And then five feet to that person's left is the other archer on the eastern side.
And those two are the ones that got hit by the flump damage.
What about magic boys?
Behind that archer that you struck, about 10 feet behind that archer is one of the magic users.
And then 10 feet behind and then like 10 feet to the left is where the other one is.
Okay.
Well, they're all within 10 feet.
So that last magic user I mentioned would not actually be within 10 feet
because it's, like, 10 feet back
and 10 feet over.
So it's, like, at the diagonal,
which is 10 feet...
A squared plus B squared.
10 feet times the square root of 2.
Well, I got...
So it'd be, like, 11.212 feet.
All right, all right.
Math.
That's my favorite part of D&D.
See, I never understood
why parents would, like,
think that kids getting into D&D
was a bad thing like devil worship
Like it's just improv and math. It's like
Social skills you're learning so much. Okay. Well, I'm gonna take another shot with my longbow triumph
This is gonna be a arcane shot if it makes it and I'm gonna aim at the dum-dum bubblegum real fast
So I see what you're doing now. I'm gonna try to help you out
Okay, if you shoot at the archer who's in the middle, up at the top of the stairs,
everyone is within 10 feet of that archer.
Oh, yeah. That's the one on the left. Okay, yeah. Sorry. I thought
you were going for the one on the left. My bad.
No. Wait. The one on the middle is the one that I
hit with the Jimmy Arrow, right? No. The one on the
left is the one who fired at you. Okay. Well, I'm going to hit
the guy in the middle. I'm so sorry, Barbara. Please don't fall asleep.
No, no. I'm just...
I'm literally just stretching my neck. I'm still listening.
I just looked over at Chris's computer and he just got... I just saw, no, I'm just I'm literally just stretching my neck. I'm still listening I just looked over at Chris's computer and he just saw like a Google search of a bunch of flowers
He's searching through flowers. Is it Mother's Day or are we playing D&D?
No, no, I said I was gonna pick out a special flower for a parrot life
He saw me catch him looking at the flowers and he had to look like a parrot had walked in
and him looking some naughty.
Is that what you think?
It's just flowers.
All right.
So I'm going to shoot at that middle guy.
Okay.
Yes.
You said it's an arcane shot.
Yeah.
It's going to be.
21.
Yeah, that does connect.
Wee.
All right.
And then that does six points of damage,
but it is an exploding arrow.
Mark that. And then that's a, of damage, but it is an exploding arrow. Mark that.
And then that's a,
or sorry,
a bursting arrow,
which is two D six force of damage each and hitting everybody within 10 feet
of that guy.
Do they get a save or anything on that?
Or is it just,
it says immediately after the arrow hits a creature,
the target and all other creatures within 10 feet of it,
take two D six force damage each immediately.
Lame.
No,
he wants a saving throw.
It's only two D six. We hitting all myame. No. He wants a saving throw. It's only 2d6.
Whee! You're hitting all my guys.
Oh my god, two sixes! That's a 12!
Woo!
Wow, that echoed in
this room so impressively.
He pointed his voice up
away from any of the stuff we have around
here to block bouncing of sound.
I wonder if the building security
is gonna come running in. Next time,
scream into the curtain behind you.
That's amazing. I don't know how often I see
2D6 actually result in
12. That's a good shot.
Yeah, so your arrow hits,
then bursts, damaging everyone
in the area for 12 points
of damage. Everyone seems
really taken aback by this
massive amount of damage that ripples through the
upper alcove. Cool. But they are
all still standing. Okay. And then
finally, I want to perceive
since I did hit some of the magic caster
guys, did that do anything
to their protective
bubble on the gym core?
Make an arcana check.
Might be the first time
Kyborg's ever done that. Let's watch me fail this.
Here we go.
That's a five.
Magic, magic, something?
I don't know.
There's like energy seems to be all over the place.
Where does this come from?
Okay.
Bart, you are up.
Then after Bart is mud.
And I'm still invisible.
Correct.
You're invisible up near the top of the alcove.
How many feet away from these archers?
You're really close to them. The closest alcove. How many feet away from these archers? You're really close to them.
The closest one from you is about 10 feet away.
The next closest one is 15.
Then the one after that's about 20.
And what about my party members?
They are down at the bottom of the stairs.
So to get to the stairs is also about five feet away and then 20 feet down.
Okay.
Well, I'm kind of in a pickle because I feel like if I do any of my spells,
I'm going to not be invisible anymore.
Correct.
Do love pickles. And i am really scared so i'm still gonna do it i'm gonna cast cloud of
daggers i was hoping you would do that but at the third level oh my god oh my god i'm gonna
cast that over bart's been sharpening his skills lots of little daggers he He just reappears, he got his cloud of daggers at third level.
And how big is the cloud? Is it five feet by five feet by five feet?
Yes, five foot cube.
So at best, you would be able to envelop two archers.
You can do either the center one and the one on the left or the center one and the one on the right.
I'll do the one on the left because he's already a little damaged, right?
Correct. Yeah, so center and left make it rain bar do you guys don't
have to do any sort of saving throw no but they don't leave the cloud they keep taking damage
13 man that sucked i got to roll 6d4 and i got a 4 1 3 1 3 1 oh that's a lot of ones a lot of ones
i got some fours and threes. That's true.
We can't all roll sixes on our D6s.
Yeah, out of nowhere, Bart reappears.
This breaks your concentration.
So Bart pops back into existence.
And as he does so, a cloud of daggers also pops into existence, enveloping the two enemies at the front line on the left. They are just surrounded by daggers and they are looking incredibly weak, incredibly cut
up and messed up.
Cool.
It's a wonder that they are still standing.
Okay.
I feel like that was a hint.
I feel like something's happening here that they're...
I'm just trying to paint the picture that way when you ask how messed up are they, you
know now.
I feel like they have like some invulnerability because of Paralite or something like that.
And then there's still the one on the right.
Correct.
As a bonus action, could I cast my command on him and tell him to flee?
Can you cast?
It's a bonus action.
It's a bonus?
Oh, wow.
Look at you.
She's using the Dune voice.
The spell fails.
He thinks he's a flea.
He starts hopping around and looking for dogs.
What is the save on that?
Wisdom 14.
Let me look up their wisdom.
They're dumb.
They have a plus two on this save.
Okay.
Do your worst.
Do your worst.
Five.
That is a failure.
Do you want to do the voice for us, Bart?
Free.
Make that really echoey and like cool in post.
It's just going to be Micah in his recording area saying that word over and over again
so he could layer more voices on it.
Yeah.
Queen style.
Or he's going to do the opposite where he makes me sound really weak and scared.
He pitches it up.
It's even higher.
No, but it succeeded.
So yeah, it was definitely scary.
Something about it made that other enemy terrified and they begin moving still on the upper level,
but away from everyone,
like around the Immersium out towards the east.
Okay.
Later.
It must be because of me.
This is why your parents tell you to use your words.
Anything else for you, Bart?
I think that's all I could do.
I don't think I could do anything else.
Okay, Mud, you're up.
Then they get to go.
Then Gum-Gum eventually after that. That was a good move. Good job.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I could try
to help Gum-Gum, or I could try to go on
the offensive. Do you. I feel like they're
on the ropes. Do whatever you need. Okay.
He can also do his flumps and stuff.
Mud gathers himself,
throws out his cloak of billowing
for some drama. You make it billow dramatically?
Yeah, and then off in the distance,
you hear some music.
And you're like, I know this melody.
I know this melody.
And mud casts conjure animals.
And you just hear this.
And I conjure two Dionycus.
What is a Dionycus?
Basically, it's what they base raptors on in Jurassic Park.
But instead of basing them actually
on the size of velociraptors,
which are about the size of a turkey, they based them off of Deinonychus.
The skeleton looks like a raptor from Jurassic Park.
Yeah, but I think they just thought, like, people couldn't, like, Deinonychus was, like, too much for them.
Have you seen a Deinonychus?
Yeah, Deinonychus are awesome.
No, like, in-game.
Don't you have to have seen it?
No, not with Conjure Animals.
Oh, that's right.
Okay.
But now I've seen one, and I'm adding it to my list.
Didn't you just conjure
them?
That's the dumbest loophole ever.
I see Micah's got his head in his head.
He's thinking. That's incredible.
I guess that works.
That seems like that's broken.
Well, a little bit, but
I can only cast two of them,
so I'm not going to totally break your brain like casting eight swarms of bats last time, I think.
But because I'm seeing them, I'd also like to turn into one with my bonus action.
I hate you so much.
You're like pulling a Paralite.
Yeah.
Blinning in.
But I can't.
That's conjuring them and turning into them is my action.
So I won't be doing anything else as a Deinonychus.
But I'm sure they will.
They will.
And they have some pretty broken abilities.
I cast them so that they have at least 20 feet of movement
to get to those magic casters.
So like at the base of the stairs.
Yes.
So they pounce the magic casters,
which if they move at least 20 feet straight toward a creature
and then hit it with a claw attack on the same turn,
the target must succeed on the strength saving throw or be knocked prone.
They also have a multi attack that gives them three attacks on this turn.
Wow.
I love being a druid.
Yeah.
OP.
So they're going to take a magic caster each and pounce.
Okay, yeah, let's deal with them one at a time.
So yeah, let's go.
We'll deal with the first Deinonychus.
I assume you'll go on the one on the left.
Yeah, so I'm gonna do a claw attack on the left.
Why do I don't have to do the pounce first?
It says, then hits it with the claw attack on the same turn.
Okay, so you have to hit, then that target must succeed on the strength saving throw the strength yeah and so that roll was only a 10 and that was a mess okay they get to do two claw attacks so i'm
gonna do my second claw attack that one is a 15 that does hit so then they do have to do a dc12
strength saving throw which seems to be a good attack to be doing against casters yeah you're
right okay strength saving throw dc12 they have a plus zero on this ooh a 20 okay but they still that guy still takes uh some slashing damage which i shall
roll for that so that's four uh slashing damage and then i'm gonna bite them as well so that's
another attack which will land a 12 that misses okay so, so then that's all that guy does.
Yeah, the magic user who has been hit is like struggling to hold their intestines in.
As a dinosaur attacks them.
So then I'm going to do,
I'm just going to roll both of the claw attacks
for the other guy.
That's a 15 and an eight.
The 15 hits,
so I need to make the strength saving throw, right?
Yes, please.
Also a plus zero on this.
10. Okay, so that's a twelve,
so you're prone. So that one is knocked down,
and it takes how much damage?
Wait, hold on. This is great. I didn't read this
part. First, he takes ten slashing damage
from that claw attack, but since he's prone,
I get to take another bonus bite.
Wow.
So now I'm going to roll for two bites
on him. I want a Dynanaikis
tattoo now.
That's a 15 and a 23.
Yeah, those both hit.
Okay, so I'm going to roll 2d8.
Nine plus four, so that's 13 piercing damage.
Okay, yeah, that dinosaur rushes up the stairs,
pounces on that magic user,
and, like, totally eviscerates him.
Like, only chunks of that, what used to be that magic user, like totally eviscerates him. Like only chunks of that,
what used to be that magic user are left on the ground.
As that magic user dies,
you see the arcane energy
start to pulse and flicker.
And the other magic user
who's standing
seems to like wince in pain
and holds his hand to his head.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
I make a roar and that's the end of my turn.
Can you give us a taste of that?
Oh!
That was so high-pitched.
Yeah, it scared me.
That was more than a taste.
That was a full meal.
Yeah.
Clever girl.
Nice.
This episode of Stinky Dragon is sponsored by Jurassic World Dominion.
See Chris Pratt's newest adventure
on theaters. Mud
always finds a way. Yeah.
Okay, is that it for Dino Town?
Dino Mud is done. Dino
Might. Okay.
Who is this? Dino
DNA. Dino.
Hello, John. Hello, John.
Before I go, just a
quick point of clarification,
because I know we're going to hear about it.
Please tweet us at StinkyDragonPod.
These conjured animals are fae,
so you wouldn't technically be able to put them on your beast list.
Okay.
Micah's over there giving finger guns like he just won a debate.
It's Micah who looked it up.
We all hate you right now, Micah.
You killer of fun.
You joint murderer.
Okay, so then that doesn't use my bonus action.
So I'm still mud.
Correct.
So then I would like to use my bonus action to cast...
I'm pulling up so I call it the right thing.
More damage.
No, not more damage.
Where in this app are my traits?
You're funny.
You're kind.
Thank you. You're giving. You're kind. Thank you.
You're giving.
You're caring.
I cast Hidden Step.
Until your next turn, you turn invisible.
So I'm invisible.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah, Bart.
You're not the only one who can turn invisible.
I can do it for like one time.
Mud Disappearance.
I like how Bart's supportive of it.
Yeah.
Good.
Good for us.
Come into the darkness with me.
It only lasts for one turn.
I feel like you're holding your breath while you do it,
and that's why it only lasts so long.
You're like...
Gum Gum thinks he's almost invisible because he just can't move.
He's so still.
He's like Drax.
Drax, yeah.
Okay.
It's time for the archer in the middle.
He doesn't know what happened.
Some dinosaurs ran past him and totally started eating his friends behind him.
He got outclassed by another better archer?
That's crazy.
Yeah, aim for me. I don't care. Do it.
So,
who does he see? Bart has reappeared
into his vision. He sees
Kyborg and Gum-Gum. Mud is invisible,
so he would have to try
to perceive you. There's two
dinosaurs behind him, which he was not expecting when he woke up this morning.
You never expect dinosaurs.
Yeah, he's going to use his crossbow.
He's going to center it at the dinosaur who's still attacking the magic user that is alive.
He turned his back on us.
Oh, he's going to regret that.
AC20. That does hit.
His crossbow bolt hits the dinosaur
doing five points of damage.
Have the dinosaur make a dexterity saving throw.
Can do.
Oh, don't do the trap thing.
That's only a 12.
The crossbow bolt that connects with the dinosaur
has a rope tied to it.
It seems like it's a harpoon. So it connects with the dinosaur has a rope tied to it. It seems like it's a harpoon.
So it connects with the dinosaur and
he heaves it, pulling the dinosaur
away from the magic user that it was
attacking. So just moving a few feet
away from the magic caster? Yeah, like pulling him
back closer towards the Everguard.
At this point, he pulls
out a spear and uses it to
try to attack the dinosaur.
How'd that turn out from Neanderthals?
I know they weren't around during that time.
That would hit AC 13.
My AC is 13.
Okay, yeah.
So that hits doing 12 points of damage.
Okay.
And the dinosaur must make a constitution saving throw.
How you looking, Mud?
That's my dinosaur.
He's fine. Okay. How are you looking, Mud? That's my dinosaur. He's fine.
Okay.
But you're looking okay?
Well, Mud also is not doing so well.
He's looking invisible.
Yeah, you can't tell.
He's invisible.
Okay.
That's only a 10.
Oh, okay.
The dinosaur takes an additional 11 points of poison damage.
Kyborg, you notice Mayor Prattle is limping very gingerly up to the encounter from behind you.
I thought he was dead.
What?
He says, ah, thank you for leaving Archie with me.
He helped me make a full recovery.
Here, let me help you.
Mayor Prattle?
I'm going to spartan kick this guy down the staircase.
There's no way that's Mayor Prattle.
You're at the bottom of the staircase.
You're at the bottom of the staircase as mayor prattle gets close
He very quickly starts taking a flurry of swings at you punches
I knew it was you Paralite. You're not you know, it's impressed
It's a C
16 I am a 16. Oh that hits hits. Okay, good. Yay. No.
Ooh.
Wait, I have my shield drawn.
Don't.
It's just like so fast, you can barely keep track of them.
The punches keep coming, hitting you, doing a total of 18 points of damage.
Oh, my God.
That's fine.
It's fine.
You need to make a strength saving throw.
Oh, God.
That's an 11. You drop your longbow of triumph to the ground no
is that you like farting yes i lost my strength and then paralyzed pulls her arm back and then
throws another punch at you man yo kyborg might go down no no no silence it's a C 13
sorry so sorry
god it was almost a 29
and it rolled over at the last second
13 that's a miss
she doesn't like that
Paralite purses her lips together
closes her eyes squints a little bit
all four of you make a wisdom saving throw
this is crop testing
it's my specialty i don't
think it is it's a nine six oof twelve nine oh twelve's our highest something about the way
she's looking at you pulls at your inner darkest fears pardon i'm this is a sight-based spell if
you see her not if she sees you.
I'm not looking at her.
She's in the area.
Everyone who can see her within 30 feet.
Well, am I looking at her?
Because I can't even turn.
Yes.
Oh, shoot.
So all of you are really terrified of her. And all of you have disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls.
Question. Yeah. I have advantage against being disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls. Question.
Yeah.
I have advantage against being frightened.
Oh, you do.
I do.
Roll that again.
Okay.
Is this some sort of charm?
No.
It's a 17 this time.
Still not good enough.
Dang.
Are you kidding?
Oh, my God.
Wow.
Dang.
Okay.
Yeah.
So you are also frightened.
Everyone has disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls.
As long as you can still see her.
And none of you can get any closer
to her. How far away is she?
Well, she's within melee range of you, Kyborg, because she
punched you. She did this on purpose.
She knows how powerful the Wando Triumph is.
There's got to be, like, something
we're supposed to be doing here, right? I feel like she's
way too powerful for us to take on. We are. We're taking
down the magic casters that are behind her.
Gum Gum, it is your turn.
Then they will go and then
kai borg i have a question did that uh frightening thing that happened does that count as an attack
no okay i need to rage again because my rage has ended it did oh i didn't attack anyone and i didn't
take any damage yeah correct so gum gum gets really mad doesn't move calms down then gets
really mad again the real rolleraster of emotions over there.
Six is my rage.
Oh, you re-roll your rage?
I have to redo it.
Yeah, and I need it because I need the damage reduction.
Until your rage ends, you're surrounded by multicolored protective lights.
You gain plus one bonus AC, and people within 10 feet gain a plus one bonus AC.
Oh, okay.
So we'd say kyborg and mud most likely would be within ten feet
And then I know what I can do I'm gonna do
Magic awareness and there's that just like as an action you can open your awareness to the presence of concentrate magic
You're just trying to gather Intel. Yeah, it's easy
See, I'm trying to figure out what the protective barriers are within what range is it like 30 feet within 60 feet? Okay
Okay. Yeah, you open up your perception to magic.
And yeah, you can definitely tell there is strong magic emanating from the caster.
It seems like it's going from them out to the Diagem Core.
The Diagem Core itself is also radiating very strong magic, as well as Paralite.
And what school of magic is this protective thing? Evocation.
Are you able to free yourself?
I'm about to roll for it. Alright.
Here comes my constitution saving throw.
Come on, come on, come on.
I got an eight.
I have a plus six to constitution.
That's unfortunate. Yeah, you are
still firmly stuck.
Standing your ground.
Have you like
ever tried not sucking at the rolls?
I really have terrible rolls.
You don't have any inspiration or nothing?
You say Gum-Gum's frozen.
Is he, like, encased in...
He's petrified.
He's, like, paralyzed.
Okay, okay.
Hey, Chris, make a really funny joke,
and then Gus will give you an inspiration die,
and then you can be rolling.
Go ahead. Dude, give us your best shot. Here you go.
We'll just wait. It's okay.
I'm so angry.
I don't even...
I'm so angry.
I can't move.
I don't know.
I hate being on this spot.
Got it. Insp hate being on this spot. Got it.
Inspiration die?
No.
Okay.
Yeah, everybody let us know in the comments
if God should have given that an inspiration die.
All right, so it's one of the archer's turns,
and after that will be Kyborg's.
Can Chris get an inspiration die for being the member
who's wearing one of our Stinky Dragon merch pieces?
Could that be a reason?
I'm wearing two.
If a listener were to send us...
What are you also wearing?
The hat?
Oh, no.
He doesn't have a hat on.
Chris thought he was wearing a hat.
He is not wearing a hat.
If a listener tweets us a photo of themselves
wearing Stinky Dragon merchandise,
they will get an inspiration.
We'll retcon and give Chris an inspiration day.
Oh, you do have a black hat.
I brought a hat.
You brought a hat.
I just wasn't wearing one.
Can you pass it to me right now?
Okay, this archer is going to focus their attention on the dinosaur
who was attacking the magic user.
This one also pulls out a spear and tries to hit the dinosaur.
God bless those dinosaurs.
They're sponging.
Thank you, John.
Smote did that.
Ooh, that's a critical hit.
That's a 24.
Go for it.
All right, that's 20 points of damage.
You know what's fun about that, Gus? What's that? Is that it's a great hit that's a 24. go for it all right that's 20 points of damage you know what's fun about that gus is that it's a great hit it's critical that's tough to roll yeah it doesn't
really matter that dinosaur had like two hp so that dinosaur's gone the dinosaurs kind of a
little bit of a wasted crit so we'll take it we'll take it do i get an inspiration die tweeted a
photo of herself wearing that yeah yes I said that would be the case.
So, Bart, you do get an inspiration.
Hand me the hat.
That's it.
It's over.
It's over.
Oh, wait.
I already had one.
Barbara.
You could have told Chris to do it.
Could I get my inspiration?
Nope.
Donate it.
Okay.
Well, that one's dead.
So, this archer is going to turn their attention at the other dinosaur
who's up top over the dead body of the magic user
and fire a crossbow bolt at that one.
That hits.
Ooh, AC 20.
I assume that's a hit.
That is a hit.
That does seven points of damage.
Copy that.
And it needs to make a strength saving throw.
That's an 11.
Ooh, okay.
Vines and plants sprout out from this crossbow bolt,
entangling the dinosaur and pinning it to the ground.
Copy that.
Dino!
That's pretty good.
That is it for that enemy's turn.
Kyborg, it's your turn.
Okay.
What's the process like for putting away a weapon
and then drawing another one instead?
Is that an action?
Is that a bonus action?
What is that?
Putting away and drawing.
That would be an action.
Well, I guess I'm not putting away an action.
You didn't pull out a...
Yeah, you're currently unarmed.
Yeah.
So if I were to draw my long sword and my shield,
is that an action?
Draw your long sword and shield.
I think it could go either way.
I'll be nice to you.
It's a bonus action.
All right.
Well, then I do that.
Okay.
I draw my shield, which ups my AC.
And now I have my...
Ups your AC to what you had for about the first two arcs of our campaign.
Plus, I got gum gums plus one.
So I'm a little bit beefier now.
You're almost like, what are they called?
A fighter?
Okay.
So I feel like because Paralite has that thing
that's going to do the, you know,
we're at disadvantage for attacks.
You can't approach her either.
Correct.
He cannot approach her.
However,
he's lucky she is melee
distance because she approached
him as a melee prattle and then started
punching him. Right. Hack.
Hack her up.
You said, do I have
another bonus action? Can I heal myself? No.
You used your bonus action to pull your stuff out.
Which he was nice about, so do not say
Dozo in my remark right now.
Sure, sure, sure.
Or he will shove that sword and shield right back into your inventory.
You are absolutely right.
Thank you, almighty Gus.
Okay, well, then I'm going to just take a swing at the old paralyzed with my longsword.
At disadvantage.
Well, it's a nine, so I don't think it's going to get much lower than that.
19.
Nope, that is, we take the nine.
That is a miss.
Okay.
But I have two attacks, so I'm going to take it again.
It's a 12 and a 27.
Poopy.
Yep.
Yeah.
Then we take the 12, and that is also a miss.
Man, these disadvantages.
She's just, like, so intimidating.
Now that you see her up close, she's like the disfigurement on her face.
There's just, like, something unnerving about it.
It's just like otherworldly.
And then like movement wise, I can't do anything.
You can move away, but since you would leave melee range,
she would have attack of opportunity on you.
Time to hold your ground with that shield.
Yep. All right. Cool. That's me.
It is the remaining mage's turn and then Bart after that.
Okay. Well, the remaining mage has had the dinosaur pulled off of it.
The remaining mage, the dinosaur's dead.
Because the other one that's entangled.
I mean, that one's dead and the other one's entangled.
Over his dead friend's body.
This one, I guess he continues to focus on the magic spell he is channeling.
Yeah, you do that.
Then Bart, it is your turn.
And then after Bart is mud.
How far is Paralite from Bart?
Paralite is down the stairs, we'll say.
And then you're a little away from the stairs,
straight line, about 25, 30 feet.
All right.
I cast Dissonant Whispers.
I try to cast Dissonant Whispers at Paralite.
The target must make a wisdom saving throw.
Yes.
I imagine she's very wise,
so this might be difficult.
This will be plus five.
Dumb as a sack of bricks.
And the save looks like
it is a 14?
Yes, a 14.
That is a 23.
All right.
So she successfully saves
against Dissonant Whispers.
So she takes half damage.
Half damage.
So that's a 21,
so half of that
rounded down or rounded up? Normally we round down, so 10. 10. 10 points of damage. So that's a 21. So half of that rounded down or rounded up?
Normally we round down.
So 10.
10.
10 points of damage.
Does that break her thing?
Does that break her scariness at all?
No, it's not like an active ability she has to keep up.
Like it just happened.
And then now you all are in that condition.
Okay.
How do we free ourselves of that?
It expires over time.
Okay.
I'm going to try this on her.
I'm going to cast my command, and I'm going to tell her to grovel.
Grovel.
What kind of save is that?
Also a 14 wisdom.
Come on.
Crappy roll.
Give us that.
Razzle dazzle.
12.
Ooh.
And that's going to be on her turn, not she.
Yeah.
Okay. Yeah. So you don't know, but it does succeed. Twelve. Ooh. And that's going to be on her turn that she. Yeah. Okay.
Yeah.
So you don't know, but it does succeed.
Okay.
And for, I just want to read what it says here.
For Grovel, the target falls prone and then ends its turn.
Okay.
So whenever it's Paralyte's turn, that's what happens.
Gotcha.
Good job, Bart.
Yeah.
Nailed it.
Nice word.
Thank you.
Grovel.
There you go.
Mud, it's your turn.
Then they act a bunch and then gum gum.
Can I resolve the dinosaur first?
Yes.
Okay.
Then I believe if I...
In a thing called love?
Believe that kyborg when entangled in these same kinds of vines attacked him to get him off?
Yes.
Okay.
Then I'd like to do a little claw.
Yeah.
At disadvantage because of the entanglement.
That would be a... the disadvantage one would
be 13. Yeah, you manage
to slice your way out. Or the
dinosaur manages to slice its way out. Correct.
And so, how far am I from the other
caster? How far is my
Deinonychus? Not that far. About
20 feet away? Perfect. I love
that number. Oh!
Alright,
so then I want to do a claw attack against that little POS.
Okay.
Got him.
Which that is a 12.
That's a miss.
Okay.
Then I will do a bite.
That one's a 20.
Oh, that hits.
Yeah.
I'm going to do a little bit of some spicy damage.
It's only going to be...
That's only four piercing.
And that's the bite?
That's the bite, which then resolves a Deinonychus turn.
Well, lucky for you, that is the exact amount of hit points that that magic user had left.
My dinosaurs ate magic casters.
They tried.
The archers knew that this was going to be the end result.
They did their best to try to stop your dinosaurs.
Something tells me they taste like Lucky Charms or something.
Some magic food. They're magically delicious.
My girlfriend and I are...
Boom. The greenish force shield evaporates around
the Diagem core, but it appears water
continues to envelop the platform where the giant
eel slithers around and sparks
the glowing indigo core. How far
is that away? About 20, 25 feet.
Okay.
I'd like to cast Call Lightning.
Okay.
Over the Diagem core.
A storm cloud appears in the shape of a cylinder that is 10 feet tall with a 60-foot radius,
centered on a point you can see within range.
Okay.
When you cast a spell, choose a point you can see under the cloud.
A bolt of lightning flashes down from the cloud to that point.
Each creature within five feet of that point must make a deck saving throw.
Ooh.
Deck 16.
Otherwise, you take Dimash.
Dimash.
I assume if the eel is wrapped or is surrounding the Diagem core,
I could attack the eel and the core.
Yeah.
Then I'm doing that.
That makes sense.
Okay.
Do I have to roll my save first?
Yeah, give me a deck save.
Five. That's not going to I have to roll my save first? Yeah, give me a deck save. Five.
That's not going to work. Nope.
Alright, so they take 3d10 lightning damage. Alright, go ahead and roll that.
Alright, eel takes 12
lightning damage, which I don't know if that's going to
hurt an eel or not be bad at a
lightning eel. Makes them super powerful.
You charge them up. The giant eel
topples to the ground, still
sparking but struggling to breathe.
The core powers down and the indigo
diagem dims to a soft glimmer.
The immersed gateways below all
close and fade from existence.
All but one. But something
draws your attention. A blotchy
skinned dwarf stands behind the core,
stroking his red beard with eyes, ogling
the gleaming diagem.
It's Archie. Fwoosh!
From the portal below out steps Dr. Ahem with Sordo floating behind.
They both stop in their tracks as they look up at the curious dwarf.
You hear Sordo say,
Oh my dia.
That's my body!
Hurry, somebody stop!
What?
But before anyone can bleak, Archie snatches the gem out from the core.
The ground vibrates with a horrifying hum.
Archie's skin turns a shade of indigo,
but then rapidly shifts to a vibrant crimson.
His body floats into the air,
and his head tilts back, releasing a hellish scream.
A crimson vapor pours out from his mouth,
growing larger and larger like a scarlet thundercloud,
until finally, the dwarf plummets to the ground,
limp and pale with a thud.
The cloud starts taking shape, conforming itself into an obscure, red figure hovering above you all.
Two bloodshot eyes emerge from the haze, then a crooked smile,
and finally the vapor moles into a smoky humanoid physique.
Ah, finally. Countless years without my rightful form.
Afflicted by putrid mortality
And a sickening excuse for flesh and bone
But now, now I'm back
Suddenly the Diagem appears in the center of the creature's forehead
Pulsing with indigo radiance
The creature's bloodshot eyes look around and see you all
Oh, I almost forgot you all were here
I suppose I should be
thanking you for helping me find
this.
A wispy hand reaches up and touches the dia gem
with a finger. The shape of an eye
appears on the face of the indigo gem.
One down, five more
to go, and the best part,
she can't stop me
this time.
Hear Dr. Ahem mutter,
Die, save us all.
You dare speak her name, mortal?
A plume of crimson cloud flashes out from the creature like lightning and strikes Dr. Ahem,
flinging him across the atrium into the wall with a resounding wham!
The crimson creature catches sight of Sordo.
Oh, I wondered when we would meet sight of Sordo.
Thunder booms throughout the atrium, knocking everyone to the ground.
An enormous indigo portal opens overhead, swirling like a stormy sea.
Your head starts to swim into a blood-red daze, your eyes feeling heavy.
And the last thing you see is Antropa's lips creased into a crooked smile as he says, Let the chaos begin. I hope gum gum can float.
Wait a minute.
That's a new big bad.
Is this the big, big bad? Is this the big, big bad?
This is the big, big bad. Is Paralite not the big bad?
Paralite's not. Apparently not. We're going to have to
find out in the next episode.
So Archie
was Sordo. I never trusted
that dude. Archie's body. Archie's body
is Sordo. That's Sordo's body.
So whatever was in Archie is
Entropa. Correct. Remember
Archie we found in that cave frozen in ice.
Yeah.
We freed him.
We're the idiots that did it.
Yeah.
And I'm the idiot who broke the eel and gave him the core.
Well, we did keep the amulet away from him.
Well, at least you all are consistent.
We did.
So, wait.
Archie, that's just a made-up character?
That's just a character that this guy made up to be?
It's basically like an evil spirit probably took over this body and then sort of was forced
to be into this yeah so yeah he's called archie because he's our arch nemesis
best friend's jughead i mean i liked archie does he like better veronica better oh we'll never
50 years and we're 60 years and we're still waiting to find out Gum Gum is just like and we were best friends
for a short time
my goodness
alright well thanks
for listening everybody
we'll talk to you guys
next time
find out
how the party's
gonna pass away
bye
tell your friends
about Stinky Dragon
tell them to get stinky
hey everyone just to let you know, in case you didn't know,
we have an event coming up in Austin this July 1st to 3rd.
It's RTX.
RTX!
Woohoo!
We'll be there. We'll be doing a Stinky Dragon panel.
You can find information about the event in general at rtxevent.com
if you want to pick up badges.
Come see us talk about Stinky Dragon and get stinky
in front of a live studio audience.
I'll be shooting real arrows into the audience.
Yes, the Longboat Triumph will be making
an appearance only at RTX.
People who aren't familiar with RTX
it's the amazing podcast
animation and gaming convention
I say amazing. The best.
A lot of cosplay. A lot of booths for
buying nerd stuff. A lot of booths for buying nerd stuff.
A lot of rooster teeth folks.
Like Chris said, a lot of great content that
if you enjoy Tales from the Stinky Dragon, it's probably stuff
that you're into. So check out
the website and come see us.
We're going to have a Stinky Dragon
event details to follow soon
and we also have a bunch of other things
with our podcast like Black Box Down
and RT Podcast.
Maybe you'll see a real life flump there.
Oh yeah.
We can guarantee there will be in fact
a real life dragon.
So we can guarantee that.
It's also just a good time with good people.
So come hang out.
Come say hello.
And hopefully we'll see you there
July 1st to 3rd here in Austin.
Details at rtxevent.com.