Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Stinky Dragon Side Quest: Honey Heist 2022
Episode Date: July 13, 2022Join Gus, Jon, Barbara, Blaine, and game master Chris for the bear heist of a lifetime in Honey Heist! The players know two things- they have a complex plan that requires precise timing to pull off an...d they are GOSH. DANG. BEARS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This is a Rooster Teeth production. salutations to all you stinky dragon dwellers it's a me your dm tavern owner storyteller
sir old guzzler today's tale is what we call a stinky dragon Dragon Side Quest. One-shot RPG adventure we recorded live.
This particular adventure, Honey Heist,
will be told by a different storyteller,
our own little Chris Damaris.
He grew up so fast.
We'll be back next week to resume our Armageddon story arc,
so stay tuned for that.
But in the meantime,
we hope you enjoy this St dragon side quest Welcome to the very first Stinky Dragon Side Quest.
The very first.
The very first.
The very first.
Very first.
Applaud!
Applaud!
So we have the cast of Stinky Dragon,
but we're not playing Stinky Dragon character,
we're playing bears.
Bears! We're also not playing... We're also not playing Dragon, but we're not playing Stinky Dragon character for playing bears. Bears!
We're also not playing-
We're also not playing Dungeons & Dragons.
Today we're gonna be playing Honey Heist,
which is a game.
Yes it is.
It's a game where, wrong page.
It's a game by Grant Howitt,
and if you're interested in this,
you definitely check out his game.
It's free, but you can donate,
which I definitely suggest you do.
And the way this game works is we're going to undertake
the greatest heist the world has ever seen.
Ever seen.
Honeycon 2022.
Ooh.
2019 through 2021, we're at home.
And there's two rules.
One, you have a complex plan that requires precise timing.
Of course.
And two, you're a goddamn bear.
I'm a god-fearing bear.
Well, you're also god-damned.
We've learned something about your character
I didn't know before.
But the good thing is you got the bear part down
pretty good. We got the bear part.
So you just have to do the heist part. Okay.
But before we get into that,
we should mention that we have some brand new Tales from Stinky Dragon merch out right now.
Barton Gum Gum!
It's a Barton Gum Gum shirt in the style of Bill Watterson,
who did Calvin and Hobbes.
And this was made by a community member,
and they were posted on Reddit.
It was made by Reddit user RarZoo,
so thank you so much for doing that,
and go check this out.
This is awesome.
As someone who loves Calvin and Hobbes,
I've never gotten a tattoo,
but if I was going to get a tattoo,
it would be like in this style.
What's it gonna take to get you that tattooed on your body?
I will begin considering it
once y'all pull off this heist.
Oh wait, there's another piece of merch.
Oh yes.
There's a poster.
We got our Stinky Dragon cast shirt
and now it's in poster form.
Now it's poster form.
You wanna put it on your wall,
wanna let people know who's the best D&D people ever.
Also shout out to Chris is DMing tonight. Yes, I see in chat.
Chris is in charge and DMing.
So be careful.
We also, yeah, the shirt also comes in crew neck,
which is actually super comfortable
and has a nice fit to it.
It's so cute.
It's very soft.
I'm not biased at all.
Gus gets to play.
Gus gets to play.
I get to play.
I get to play.
I get to play.
So let's get into this.
I already gave you the rule of you're a bear and you're playing a heist,
but there's a couple other things, okay?
How we play the game.
Yeah. So you have two stats.
Well, first, you already created your characters, right?
Yes.
Should we go around the table and introduce ourselves?
Yeah.
All right. I'm Rocco. I'm a rookie sun bear and I'm a thief.
Yeah.
And I'm ready to steal some honey.
And your peeps.
And I'm sitting next to this old bag of something.
I'm Gerald. I'm the grizzly bear washed up and I'm the brains of these operations.
If you want to live, if you want to survive, stick with me.
Yeah. Gerald. Yeah, Stick with me. Yeah.
Right.
Gerald.
Yeah, stick with Gerald.
Who let Eric Badour on set?
I'm the Pabadour.
That should have been my name.
John?
Oh, uh, I didn't figure out a voice, but I'm Gabe the Hacker, and I'm a slick honey badger who's prone to carnage and mayhem.
And hitting tables.
Yeah!
I'm a honey badger.
I'm Bobo, the panda, the muscles in this operation.
And I'm unhinged, so watch out.
Cause I'm gonna lose it at any moment.
I need you to flex while also raising your ears.
That's the best hat in the world.
And as your different bear types,
you each have a special ability.
As a sun bear, you can sniff honey.
Which works pretty well as a thief.
Yeah, you find what you steal.
Yes.
And as a panda, you can eat anything
that looks like, what is it?
Bamboo. Bamboo.
That's pretty worthless.
There's a lot of things that are in the shape of bamboo.
Name two things that look like bamboo.
Iron bars you're locked up behind.
Yeah. Only if they're green.
Scaffolding. No, but it's like the shanks.
That's like one thing. That's like name two things.
It's like rotten bamboo.
What's another thing? Rotten bamboo?
Is that your second thing? Actual bamboo.
Batons that security guards might carry.
Yeah. See? Gotta get creative.
As a honey badger, you can carnage,
which I don't know what that means.
That's up for interpretation.
And then as a grizzly bear, you can terrify.
Favorite line from Venom.
He is really, he's so terrifying.
And there's two stats in this game.
Very easy to keep track of.
Two stats, bear, which you use to maul stuff,
run, climb, shrug off damage, scare people, do bear stuff.
And then the other stat is criminal,
which you use to do anything not directly related
to being a bear.
We're on multi-class bear criminals.
What if I was stealing a picnic basket?
I would say that's criminal, but then once you eat the food.
What if you call it a picnic basket?
Ooh, that's more bear, I would say.
But yeah, so whenever you act and the outcome is in doubt,
you can be called to roll a d6,
either under a bear or a criminal.
And if the roll is equal to or under the relevant stat,
then you succeed.
If it's over, then you fail.
And if you're using your bear special skill,
something you can get an advantage, which you get two rolls.
Whenever the plan fails and you run into difficulty,
you move one point from criminal into bear.
Big if.
So you have a, it's one to six,
and you start at three, and yeah,
so if you become more bear-like when he fails,
and then whenever your plan goes off without a hitch,
you get one point to criminal.
So in summation, we have a bear stat and a criminal stat,
and that stat is always going up and going down.
We gotta walk the other side.
So we have a spectrum of one to six.
If we stay between two and five, we're fine.
If we go to one or six on either of the spectrums...
Yeah, and then you lose.
You don't wanna do that.
It's bad news bears.
If you go too much criminal, what happens?
When you become too much of a criminal,
when you go six all the way to criminal,
then you basically...
Betray the team.
Yeah, you lure everyone and ruin everything
and betray the party.
And if you go two and a bear, then you go completely animal-like and lose control for half an hour or so.
And, yeah, so you don't want to go too far to either side.
So if you're becoming too bear-like, then you have to do a criminal thing.
Specifically, having a flashback can also bring in some criminals.
So you have a flashback where you're planning a heist over, you know, cigarettes.
Who's heist? Oh yeah, yeah.
And if you're too criminal,
then you get to like eat some honey or something or-
Bear-like. Bear-like.
Got it. Yeah.
Roar really loud.
Keep that balance between criminal and bear.
Hibernate.
I think we have some honey oat kind bars over there.
We should have brought that.
Yeah.
Well, it's okay.
We're gonna get plenty of honey on this heist, so.
All the honey.
All the honey. All the honey to make whatever we want, bears.
Okay. Any questions about that?
So we got our two stats to roll against.
One's bear, one's criminal, and that's how we get things done.
Yeah. And you know what? These rules are pretty loose.
And I'll probably mess them up. And so will y'all.
No.
I was messing it up? No.
No.
And Chat PolarBearTC says,
Blaine looks like an old Five Nights at Freddy's mascot
that got replaced by the robots.
He's always talking about the good old days.
Used to be real, people.
I saw a comment earlier in chat that said,
it's Chris DM-eris.
Oh!
Yeah.
That's good.
All right, DM-eris.
Anything else?
Are we ready to start this shenanigans?
No, let's get into the heist.
Okay.
So, it starts.
Gunshots and police sirens fill the air.
Oh, so that's real.
Yeah.
Gerald, a washed-up grizzly bear,
rushes into an abandoned building,
dragging a limp polar bear behind him.
The pair collapse on the floor, exhausted.
With every second, the once-white coat of the polar bear
becomes more and more stained with red.
How'd I look?
You don't know how to look in...
What's his name?
Iceberg. How do you not know my name?
Iceberg, I'm sorry. Things aren't
looking great. Just stay with me.
Where else am I gonna go?
Well, you're not going in the North Pole.
And I'd say you should give
your son a call and tell him goodbye,
but you already ate him. Because you're a fuller bear.
Yeah, you know, I get hungry. I eat things, you know? get hungry i eat things you know i know iceberg i know iceberg but hey i got one more coca-cola
for you can you pour it down my throat of course iceberg anything for you pal
you're coca-cola boarding me No, no Iceberg, stay with me Iceberg.
No, no, wait.
In chat, PolarBearTC just wrote,
oh no, and I'll pass.
You know, it's a good thing that this job went so poorly,
because otherwise it would have been you
bleeding out on the ground.
I was planning on double-crossing you, General.
What?
Oh.
That's already a twist.
I was gonna say I wish I could trade places with you,
but that breaks my big bear heart.
So it ain't going to matter anyway.
I let you in on a tip.
Tell me.
Tell me about your tip.
Biggest score ever.
Tell me about this big tip.
An old partner of mine is a Louisiana black bear.
Is the polar bear going south right now?
I hate the polar bear. Remember, it was southern halfway through. Louisiana black bear
He got an inside job it's been scouting out the place right lettuce to me let me know about it for weeks
We were gonna pull the biggest honey heist this world's ever seen. In three days, they're getting a big ol' shipment of honey.
We're gonna get it all.
Where, Iceberg, where?
The location.
I'll tell you in a second.
Thing is...
He's dying.
I'm gonna die.
I'm sorry, Iceberg. Continue.
Anyway, I was going to put together a real good crew.
This after I was going to kill you, so it's going to be a better crew than you.
But now everyone's dead.
Even me.
I'm going to take one last trip to the North Pole.
Everyone's dead, even me.
Now, all you need to know to pull off this job.
Come here. Come close.
Yes, Iceberg, yes. I need you to know.
Know what? I need you to know. Know what?
I need you to know.
Know what?
Oh no!
No.
Iceberg!
Collapses, crumpled letter, falls to the ground.
It says, really bad bear handwriting.
Dear Iceberg, HoneyCon 2022. It says really bad bear handwriting.
Dear Iceberg, Honeycon 2022.
And there's a crude map.
It says three days.
Three days.
Then you hear the sirens coming.
Oh.
You gotta run.
Oh, shoot.
Gotta get out of North Yankton as fast as you can.
Get out of North Yankton as fast as you can.
All right, Gerald, now you gotta assemble your crew. All right.
Just trying to get the van back together.
The vans?
The vans.
The vans?
The vares, the van of vares.
The van of vares.
The van of vares?
The vans!
The vans!
Your old crew was just killed,
so you gotta find either-
A better crew!
I've been scouting out this talent for a while.
Yeah! For the big one.
Do I just call them out?
Tell me how you found them, what they were doing.
Oh. Yeah, your backstory here.
Okay.
First, I was looking for the muscle.
It's the most important part of the mission, in my opinion.
And I saw a circus act that you couldn't deny the talent. So I call most important part of the mission, in my opinion. And I saw a circus act
that you couldn't deny the talent.
So I call it my friend Bobo.
I've got the right to
bear arms.
Bobo, I got
the inside information. I got the
biggest job that you and I will have ever seen.
Are you in? I'm always
for you, Gerald.
I'm always there.
That's great to know, Pogo.
We're going to need your big panda muscles.
This is a big one.
You adorable muscular thing, you.
Endangered thing.
After that, I need someone to deal with the tech.
Things have gotten more techy than they were in the olden days back
when i was an old timer and they were just lock picks so i need to call up this new kid on the
block his name is gabe gabe hey i need you to hack into can i trust you my middle name
honey gabe honey badger that's your name yes g, why don't you tell them how you got into hacking?
Give us your, what's your experience?
My experience is I got into bear college,
even though I'm a honey badger.
Full ride.
By hacking into their system.
Oh.
And tricking them into me being a bear.
I mean, I love honey, so it was a connection we could agree on.
It's in the name, honey Badger. You need the honey.
So I hacked into Bear College.
That was the first time I hacked.
And since then, I've been hacking into educational institutions.
For the right price.
Now you're running for the real time.
I want to go above public school systems.
Conventions.
I need to get to conventions.
That's the next hacker level.
That's great. That's great, Gabe.
Before I get to my right hand
paw, right paw man,
I need to go back real quick.
Bobo, what's your story, Bobo?
Oh, um, I
used to run in the circus crowd.
Yeah. But, um, I'm a
panda, so I sleep a lot. I got kicked out
of the circus. I bummed around a
bit, went to community college
Pull some tricks. Yeah, I met uh, met Gabe. We were roommates in college At the community college that you hacked into!
Yeah, yeah. You could've gone to Harvard, but you went to community college. I went bare community college, okay?
Yeah, we're all roommates
We haven't talked in a long time because Gabe stole a six pack of beer from me in college never paid me back for it
He moved out the very next day. Oh my God. He hacked your beer?
It was my first heist.
It went off perfectly.
He stole my beer.
So there's some tension that I sense between you two.
We've been on easy terms ever since then.
We're gonna have to squash that beef, all right?
And now for my most important right paw man,
the real true scalpel to this whole surgical operation,
Rocco. Rocco, get the pencil out of your mouth.
What are you doing?
I just wanna be like you.
That's why I like you, Rocco.
Rocco, you're a sun bear thief.
Yeah.
Tell me about your story, refresh my memory.
You know, I grew up as an orphan on the streets
and I, you know, just had to make my way around,
pickpocketing people left and right,
trying to make my way, trying to, you know, make a living.
And now I'm ready for the big leagues.
That's how we met.
I'm ready for the big leagues.
You met me because you tried pickpocketing me.
Yeah, and then I, you know, my hand might have slipped a little bit.
Yeah, but that's what I knew.
There's a lot to work with here.
I saw talent and I saw potential, but I knew I could train you into something better.
Look at you now.
I mean, I'm still a rookie.
I'm still getting on my feet.
But you're getting there.
You're my number one disciple.
This is all you got?
This is all I got.
No, I got my team together.
All right.
Here's more exposition.
So, you travel through the forest.
You come across Honeycon.
Now, this is the most secure building you've ever seen.
Walls.
Walls.
30 feet high.
My arch nemesis. Barbed. Walls. 30 feet high.
My archie amateurs.
Barbed wire around it.
Then you got bees.
Bees?
Bee guards with sniper stingers.
Oh.
Trained on the sniper tower.
They got one shot.
How big are these bees we talking?
I mean, they're bumble sized.
Bumble?
Whoa.
Let's make friends with them.
So they're around the perimeter.
Keep a track.
And there's only a single entrance, all right?
Big gate opens up and a van every once in a while
comes through with more bees.
They're coming in and out.
What's parking for just the regular,
where do the attendees come from?
Well, it's a very high security convention.
Attend bees.
You know?
Attend bees.
The attend bees.
You know, it's very, very high security.
And what are the kind of people
that we got going to this convention?
I mean, you can't really see much
because all the, they're going in through these like vans
and you don't really see in the vans.
All you see is the guards.
All you see is the security.
Gabe, you son of a bitch,
hack those vans so we can see in them.
Are we going?
How do you get in?
Oh yeah, I mean, since we're in the future,
in the future,
all the vans are actually remote.
Smart vans.
No, they're smart vans.
Yeah.
They're smart vans.
Self-driving, yeah, vans.
We said the same thing in different ways.
Basically.
Yeah.
And so that's actually one of my specialties,
other than public school systems,
is automated vehicles. So I
hacked a van and have it come down
an alleyway so we can load it.
Alright, so you hacked this van.
Is it empty?
Or are you hacking a van with
the guards and the attendees in it?
I don't know who's in this van.
That's where Bobo comes in.
Bobo, there's people in this van.
You gotta be the muscle. You gotta take him out.
I'll take him out.
I'll take care of it.
Non-lethal.
We don't kill in this operation.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
That was not part of the deal.
Listen, it'll be worth it in the end.
You're gonna get all the honey that you ever want.
We're not leaving a trail of dead bodies.
After my last gig with Iceberg,
I can't see no more death.
You worked with Iceberg?
I can't promise I can keep back the carnage.
You're gonna have to, game.
Yes, I worked as Iceberg. What do you ask, Bobo?
It's just a cool name.
Not the lettuce, the bear.
I brought snacks. Does anybody want a snack?
I'll take a cookie.
I got a little hungry on the hike.
All right, so you're gonna try and hack this automated van?
I'll eat that food. Thank you.
So to recap, because I'm the very end of the operation,
you hack the van, you bring it to our location,
Bobo takes it. I'll rip the doors open.
No, because it needs to look like a good van.
So you, he'll trick- I'll jiggle the door.
Okay.
And then scare everyone out.
That's right. I'll intimidate them
with these.
But then, Rocco, before you send them on their way,
you're gonna steal the passes, all right?
Anything that they need, any applications
or whatever they need to get into the convention,
you pickpocket off of them. Yeah, go on.
It's a real nice pass you got there.
Be shamed if it got misplaced.
Only I don't say that
to them, because I'm being stiff.
That's right, get stiff.
Let's see how this goes.
Let's see if you can hack. Let's roll
for criminal. Okay.
And I guess you get advantage because you are hacking,
which is your skill.
Yes.
All right.
Two, two.
All right, so you successfully hacked the van, all right?
Yeah.
All right.
Great job, kid.
You're in position.
You see the guard van.
He's driving along.
Suddenly, it takes a strange detour.
The guard is, like, looking around confused,
banging on a thing pulls down side
Stops he gets up tells everyone to wait comes around opens up the the back of the tub. What do you call that?
Trying to figure out he's like fiddling around but he you know, he's a bead he doesn't know anything about
Blue bar your cigarette
Get up behind him and start blowing smoke to calm him down that works that works
I calm him down with smoke that works. Yeah. Yeah, that's how that's how beekeepers get the bees to, like, chill.
Oh, my God.
Have you ever seen them with their smoke guns?
No, I don't watch bee videos.
All right, roll for criminal.
Come to me.
Going to everyone besides Gus.
While he's hyperventilating on a fake cigarette.
Roll for criminal.
Two!
So he's calmed down, he's like,
you know what? I don't need this gig.
Is he high? What kind of cigarette is that?
Yeah!
I don't need this gig. I'm going home.
This bee just
buzzes off. There it is. Buzz off.
He's out.
Now you got a van full of bees.
What do you do?
Oh, he's in the van.
Oh, he was hauling other bees?
Yeah.
These are the attend bees and he was a guard bee.
Yeah.
Okay, gotcha.
So now we gotta get rid of these attend bees.
That's right.
I don't know, that's up to y'all.
Here's what I could do.
I'm also a very convincing young fella.
I got a fresh face.
I go in and I go, fellas, ladies and gentlemen, and bees and she's and they's and everyone in here.
There's been an emergency. We're gonna have to get you guys to pile out of the vans and leave your passes in your seats.
We promise we'll get you new ones. There's a gas leak in the van. There's a gas leak.
All right. In the electric van. Well, there's a gas leak.
That's what's even scarier and more dangerous. Where did it come from?
So you opened the door and said that?
Yes. All right.
I forgot they were electric.
They all look at you?
Wait, so we could just go?
Yeah, but you gotta leave your passes on your seats.
Oh, we gotta, these IDs.
You want our IDs?
Yeah, the passes, IDs, the semantics here.
Every bee has an ID?
Yeah. They call them IBs.
IBs. IBs.
Put your IBs on your seats.
Okay.
And they all take it off.
Do you want, they also have a-
Tell them to leave all their money too.
They're really stupid apparently.
They're working here guys.
They also have their,
do you want their convention shirts?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, say, do you want us to get naked?
I mean, I never thought I'd be asking some bees
to get naked before here, but yeah.
Okay, yeah, we, I mean, that's fine with us.
So we, but we can just go? Yeah, why you so- All right, bye. They all get naked before here, but yeah. Okay, yeah, we don't, I mean, that's fine with us. So we, but we can just go?
Yeah, why you so? All right, bye!
They all get naked and run off.
All right. Why are they so excited
about leaving? That was too easy.
I love it when a plane comes together.
All right. Yeah, boss, sick.
It's so natural. It's real company.
I got the van.
That's all right, now what?
All right, guys, we outfit ourselves with IDs and passes and shirts. That's right, you're okay. All right, now what? All right guys, we outfit ourselves
with IDs and passes and shirts.
That's right.
To try to blend in.
We're all gonna get dressed up,
we're gonna get our IDs on.
You're gonna hack the van to go into the entryway.
Now, before we do that though,
we need to know where we can park
that's gonna be safe, all right?
We don't know what's on the other side of those walls.
So I need you to hack into the main frame.
I got so much
hacking to do. And check the security cameras
and see where a good parking spot for us to be
so that we can get into this joint.
Okay. Alright. Roll for
hack. Okay, I'm hacking their
security system.
Oh, you got advantage.
One, got it. Alright, now
you get another point in criminal. Oh, I'm getting
close. I'm at five on criminal,
so this is the last hack I can do
until I get to kill something.
Did my criminal go up when I blew smoke on that guy?
Yep, we're still in the woods, though.
You could go shit in the woods
and I'll bring you back down to bear.
All right, so you successfully hacked.
You see the parking lot.
You know where to go.
You got control of the vehicle.
And so who's doing what in the van?
Who's like, someone being the security guard or someone, what I think Rocco should be the security guard
He's already got stripes like a bee. Yeah
All right
Okay, so you got the man you got it ready to go talk us through this. Okay, so you're gonna be hacking
I'm hacking. So you're basically driving. Yeah, and from well, I have the cameras hacked
Right and so I can see into the place and I from, well, I have the cameras hacked. Right.
And so I can see into the place,
and I clearly see.
Well, you see where the parking lot is.
You don't see the cameras.
I see the parking lot.
Yeah, and you got control of the car,
so you're getting in.
You're gonna be the face of this operation?
Security guard.
Yeah, the security guard.
All right, and everyone else is attendees?
Rocco, you gotta be a fast talker.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Slow it down, not that fast. Yes, boss.
All right.
Okay.
That cigarette, it's a pencil.
It's not a cigarette.
But I appreciate...
I'm too young to smoke.
Okay.
All right, let's...
How old are you?
Twelve.
That's why she can...
That's why she can steal.
I got little hands.
No one suspects me.
So the van moves as hat, and you all pull up.
You pull up to the gate, and two B guards walk up,
and they look at you and say, where's the normal?
They heard the voice change.
Where's the normal guy?
Oh, the normal guy.
You know, he had a family emergency.
He didn't want to talk about it.
You know the rule when people
say family emergency, how you're not supposed to ask follow-up
questions? Yeah, but we all kind of
have the same queen.
Well, I think he said something about his
boyfriend. I was going to say girlfriend,
but there's only one queen, so.
His boyfriend. Yes, everyone
knows all bubblebees are gay. Of course.
They're not going to fuck their mom.
Well, they're technically bi, they're bi.
And who are you?
You don't look like a bee.
Oh, well, I, you know, I-
You're a temp, you're a temp.
Yeah, I'm a replacement.
There was like a hiring agency, a job placement.
You know, I'm learning my skills.
I'm just a boy.
That's great, Ron.
I'm just a boy.
I mean, she's just a boy.
I'm just a boy.
I think you said all the time.
Gus, you're 44.
Why don't you roll for criminal, see if this works.
Three.
That works.
That works, okay.
So what happens next?
So now you get one more point in criminal.
In criminal.
And you lose one there.
All right, so.
So I go four and four?
What's your name?
Just because I want to put it on the record, just in case I don't get in trouble.
My name's Rocco.
Rocco.
He's not going to use an alias at all.
I got no reason to lie.
All right.
And what do you got over, what are you hauling?
Oh, just, you know, some really excited attendees to come to the convention.
They're excited, huh?
Oh, very excited.
Rocco, you got it.
I like you.
You're funny.
All right.
Let them on in. All right. Let him on in.
All right.
All right boys, are you excited for Honeycon?
Honeycon.
Honeycon.
I'm slightly concerned.
Yeah, Honeycon.
All right.
The van is abuzz with excitement.
The gate's open, the van pulls through,
pulls nicely into the parking lot.
Right, nice.
There's more guards as they come out.
They're sitting there, and they're like,
all right, where do these guys go?
The front yard?
The front yard?
No, we're talking to Rocco.
Yeah, to Rocco.
Oh, would you say the front yard is close to where you keep the honey?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Just a silly question.
Rocco, maybe tell them that we're going into the service entrance.
Well, yeah, that's what I meant.
The service entrance.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
I'm so excited for Honeycon.
I was thinking about honey.
Yeah, yeah, go and just dump them out over there in the yard through processing, all right?
You got it.
And then they wave you on and they point you in the right direction.
All right.
You heard the man.
Whoever is driving this car, know what it is because it's a driverless car.
I mean, I send the van.
Are you coming?
We're in the van.
We're in the van, right?
No, no, you park the van.
They got you out.
Oh, we got out.
And they're saying, all right, where are you taking them?
Oh, oh.
I see.
So we're being led there by Rocko.
Because we're dressed as attendees.
Attendees.
Yeah.
So.
Yeah, we'll follow Rocco.
Follow Rocco.
Follow me, attendees. And they kind of point towards the yard. Now you follow Rocco. Follow Rocco. Yeah, follow me, attendees.
And they kind of point towards the yard.
Now you follow there, and you come out, and it's a big yard.
And you see bees everywhere.
Okay, this might be a bad time to mention it.
I'm allergic to bees.
Oh, no, I forgot that about you.
The stakes couldn't get higher.
Bobo.
I couldn't remember.
It's been so long. Bobo, you should have told me, you son of a bitch. I just. My God. I couldn't remember.
It's been so long.
Bobo, you should have told me, you son of a bitch.
I just get too crazy when I hear about that honey.
So you walk out, there's all these attendees.
They're all wearing the exact same attendee outfit.
Yeah.
Just like us, right?
Yeah, it's just an orange kind of-
We're blending in perfectly.
Orange jacket.
And then-
Those are hornets that wear orange and yellow jackets.
And then they seem to be working mostly,
just like working hard in the honey mines,
you know, trying to harvest honey.
Wait, so is this not a convention center?
This is literally just a gated yard.
It looks a little weird.
That doesn't answer my question.
Why did you bring us here?
We're clearly not at a convention.
Why are we doing this heist?
You said this would be honey.
If you recall, the first RTX was in a very large field.
This does not sound too similar.
You get it, there's all these bees buzzing around.
There are one section where people are playing some games,
some bee games.
There's like bee-skitball, bee-sball, and football.
Classic.
And football.
And football.
So there's, you know, everyone else is like
working real hard harvesting honey, and everyone's like, a little break area. Y''s, you know, everyone else is like, working real hard, harvesting honey,
and everyone's like, a little break area.
Y'all gotta figure out where the honey is.
Well, obviously we should find the biggest bee in the yard
and have Bobo take out that big bee
to cement ourselves as the toughest in the yard.
Yeah, people gotta fear us.
And then we follow the honey,
leaving the mine to where it's being stored.
But yeah, let's go beat someone up first
Push someone in the put someone in the fucking mouth. All right, so we're gonna interrogate somebody's that is that the call?
Are we interrogating operation?
Well
Yeah, no, we're gonna identify a VIP or VI be there you go. All right a very important be
Thank you. And then we're gonna pull bee. Go on, boss. Thank you.
And then we're gonna pull him off to the side.
First we need to identify some cover.
We need to find a hiding spot where we can set up old Gabe and all his computers and
technology shit so he can do some hacking.
So I look around, see what do we got for him?
Well, I mean, it's really just like, there's the yard where all the bees are working, harvesting
honey.
There's the one little rest area,
and then there's a big building,
but that's like guards everywhere.
So like, what about an outhouse?
There is a bathroom.
Bees gotta poo.
Yeah, there is a bathroom.
Do they?
Bees, for the sake of the heist, have to use the bathroom.
There is a bee-throom.
There's a bee-throom.
Well, we should go there.
That should be our base of operations.
Let's group up in the bathroom, boys. We're the bathroom vans.
What are we doing in the bathroom? I didn't quite hear what we were doing.
We're gonna group up. We're not gonna poop up, we're gonna group up.
Okay, I couldn't quite understand.
But also, if you gotta do number ones and number twosies, then this is the time to do it.
Okay. Alright.
So, set up your computers and bullshit.
Let's get some cutie cameras.
You go in the bathroom, there's a guard.
What are you doing?
What does it look like we're doing?
I pooped myself.
All right, you got five minutes in the bathroom.
If I don't get you to come out of here, I'm going to come in and knock your skull.
I need my friends to come in with me.
I'm the opposite. Nope, one at a time.
I'm the opposite.
One at a time.
Bobo.
You're going to take care of this guy?
Bobo, you know what to do.
While he's yelling at Gabe, I just pick my two bear paws up
and just slam them down on top of his head.
Stilt fully.
All right, we'll roll for bear.
And he has advantage, right?
He's muscly. Yeah, yeah.
Got a little bear.
Roll for bear.
Nope, nope.
Need a two or a one.
No!
No!
What happens?
I whiff?
It doesn't hit it, but the plan fails,
so you do get an increase in bear.
Back to bear, okay.
But yeah, he smacks you, knocks you flying.
No!
No one talks to my old college roommate
who stole a six-pack of beer from me like that?
No, he smacks you. You're out cold.
I'm out cold?
He smacks you hard. You failed.
Uh, let me take care of this.
Bullshit.
You got to... What do you take care of?
I draw myself out to my biggest stature
because I'm a big old grizzly bear,
and I am terrifying, and I say,
listen here, bub.
I thought you watched us.
You don't want to touch my spitty cigarette.
Listen here, my friend Gabe,
he's got a shit like you wouldn't believe.
All right? It's compounded up in there, all right?
You clear out of here, you give us this space,
or you ain't going to be going home to Mama Bee.
Are you threatening me?
I am, damn.
Are you threatening me?
You?
While he's talking to him,
I hack his intercom and cause a serious amount of feedback
that would level a man.
Roll for hack then.
Level a bee.
Oh no.
I should not do this.
I'm gonna punch him, I punch him, I take him out.
I take him out.
I haven't been muscling years in Braves, but I take him out because I'm terrifying.
Roll for bear.
Four.
Four.
I have advantage because I'm terrifying.
Well, no, you're not the muscle.
It's terrifying.
Grizzly bear is stinky.
But you're not scaring him.
You're punching him.
Oh.
I'm yelling while I do it.
All right, so he smacks you, and you're knocked out.
Could I see if the guard has any sort of like key card
on him or badge or anything like identifying?
I mean, yeah, he's got a stinger gun.
Yeah.
And his guard badge and his uniform.
As he's busy rustling with these guys,
could I see if I could steal it off of him?
Yeah, roll for criminal.
Roll for criminal.
Three, and I have four.
Yeah!
Success.
So we're the best in the biz, kid.
All right, so you got it, and he knocks Gerald out.
Now you got two bears out.
All right, you gonna go take a dump?
Yes.
What do you have?
I can't help but notice, are you a guard here?
I don't see any sort of identification.
Well, of course I'm a... Wait.
Shit.
Go take a dump and get out of there, alright?
Now pick up those- take them to the infirmary.
Okay.
And he buzzes off to go look for stuff.
Alright, so you've got two knocked out bears.
Can I grab Gerald and pull him into the bathroom?
Yeah, yeah.
And you wanna grab Bobo?
Yeah, as a honey badger with the strength of 10 bears.
I'm a 12 year old sun bear.
I grab the two smallest bears.
I grab the muscle of our operations.
And drag him into the toilet.
Walk into the toilet, there's someone in the bathroom.
Hi!
It's a bee, he looks up, it's just an attendee.
And he goes, who are y'all?
Matthew McConaughey?
Bill Drew?
We're attendees like you.
Y'all trying to break out of here?
I mean, is that something that needs to happen?
I mean, I only know one bee's ever broken out of here.
And bee to frame.
God damn it.
This is, he's had this in the planning for a long time.
Wait, so, uh.
Get busy buzzing or get busy diving?
Oh, you knew.
You knew all the Andy.
Yeah, we did.
I didn't know you know him.
What if we were to help with the breakout,
would that be worth some information from you?
You're gonna get me out of here, then sure.
Do you happen to know where they keep the honey?
The honey?
Isn't that what's happening here?
Where do you think you are?
Honeycon.
Honey Shank redemption, apparently.
Yeah, I mean...
Well, where are we?
Where are we?
Well, I mean, I guess you're a honeycon, but...
Oh, sorry, I got notes.
You chose.
Where are we? Where are we really? you're a honey con, but, oh sorry, I don't know. You tell us.
Where are we really?
I mean, you're in Paul and Penitentiary
for high risk honey convicts,
or some inmates call it honey con.
Oh my God.
We've been bamboozled.
Gerald, Gerald!
Iceberg!
I mean, there ain't no big honey,
I mean, we all mine the honey mines,
but I mean, we don't ever see any of the honey.
It all goes to Warden Norton.
I mean, you know, this is just a prison full of rotten bees
guarded by rotten guards,
ruled over by the rottenness of them all.
The warden.
He's also a bee.
Well, I've never met him.
Is Gerald awake at this point
or am I still passed out on the floor?
I wake up after this realization.
Could I growl at Gerald's wake? You can wake up by this point, am I still passed out on the floor? I wake up and it's after the serialization. Could I growl?
Yeah, you could wake up by this point.
Okay, oh, oh, oh.
Can I specifically growl at him?
Yeah, yeah, you growl.
Yeah, yeah, growl.
You gonna roll for growling?
Yeah.
Can I roll for growling?
I mean, you can just growl.
I think she wants to roll for growling.
I think she wants to be successful.
Yes.
Okay.
I expect to get more than a one.
All right, so.
If you're looking for honey. if you're looking for honey,
if you're looking for honey, then I mean, the warden,
I mean, he does have all the honey we've been working on.
Okay.
Where's the warden's office located?
I mean, I could get you inside, but it won't be easy.
I mean, first you're gonna have to get into the prison and-
Well, we done that, we're here.
All right
Lucky for you won't be easy is my middle name. I mean once you get your middle name was something else earlier No, I gave my middle name. Oh games middle name was shit and then Bobo
This Bobo won't be easy and if we make it out of here, you'll find out my last
and if we make it out of here, you'll find out my last name. All right, Bobo.
So, uh...
Sorry, continue. Andy?
We made it into the prison.
All right, well, uh,
I know a bee inside who could set you on the right way, but, uh...
Yeah, who's this bee that you're talking about?
Well, his name is Sean.
He's a bee inside. He's a little...
He's a little crazy,
but he's the only one that we know is his way through...
He knows his way through the prison better than anyone else.
Now you get in, I'll tell you where he's at,
but you gotta promise me.
I'm happy to promise anything.
If you guys break out of here,
come back for me.
A hundred percent.
Hey, we'll one up you.
Why don't you come with us when we break out of here?
All right.
And what's your name?
Yellow.
Yellow?
I thought you said Sean.
No, wait, no, nevermind.
That's the other guy.
That's, Ambie is, yeah, is, yeah.
Got it. All right got it. All right yellow
All right. Well, yeah, we'll go in there but come dinnertime. Yeah, just follow me just out of curiosity
Yeah, what's for dinner tonight? Well, we always eat bamboo. No, we're eating rotten, honey
The leftover dregs. Yeah
Bell rings and you follow yellow get in line with all the other convicts,
and you do your chores, and then you go to the mess hall.
There's all bees.
And we're going to do it.
It's going to happen, and I'm going to bite them
after you punch them.
Yellow goes up to a rather weird looking bee.
He's sitting there.
You can tell all the bees respect him.
Well, Sean,
these bees have been looking,
trying to break into the ward's office
and then break out of the prison.
Wait, really quick, Yellow.
Sean doesn't happen to be
an aged British man
who is trying to talk about the rock.
Well, funny you should know.
I see my reputation.
It's come before me.
You're a legend in the field, Sean.
We all know about you.
A pleasure to meet you.
Yeah, a pleasure to meet you.
So what are you looking to do?
Come on, you keep putting up with me now.
Do you want to break out of here?
We want to take some honey and then break out of here, Sean.
You're telling me you want to get into the one secret stash.
That's right.
Exactly.
Secretest, stashiest, dankiest, unneatest.
It won't be easy.
Won't be easy is my middle name.
What we'll have to do is we'll have to tunnel in.
I'm going to pee myself.
We'll have to tunnel in underground.
Then there's going gonna be a series of
infrared tripwires.
Wait, which one are you? Are you Sean or are you yellow-tucking?
I'm Sean. This is Sean.
Clearly. Clearly.
You got hit by my Irish.
The southern accent is
now to change for the British, but it's
going back to southern. Sean's a different
guy we just met. Sean is the rock.
Right. Listen. Continue.
Sean, as a fellow
gentleman with an accent, I get the struggles.
Yeah.
Alright, then.
What?
You see what I'm saying, right?
Alright, well, we're breaking
into the rock. Okay.
Alright, we're about to take it.
We're already in, alright?? We're going to tunnel now.
We're going to have to tunnel in at night.
Never you are ever allowed to get mad at me ever, ever, ever for Mudd's accent.
No one's ever allowed to get mad about Mudd's accent.
Nobody.
Here's the plan.
We're going to have to distract the guards.
Tunnel in down to the secret basement.
Let me write this down.
Distract.
Yeah, good, good, good, good, good.
Tunnel.
Then work your way through past the labyrinth of
underground tunnels, which is heavily guarded
I don't know. I'm not great at night
Hint of shine then there's a the wardens are personal statues is guarded by lasers lasers. Oh
Wait, there's infrared lasers. Lasers? Oh.
Wait, there's infrared lasers?
Well, there's the tunnel underneath the thing you have to navigate.
It's heavily guarded.
And then the warden's office is lasers. Then there's the warden's office is guarded by lasers.
And then you can get to a secret honey stash.
See.
Easy peasy.
And then how do we get out of there after that?
Just back the same way we came?
Well, I've only broken in.
What happened to you?
I've never broken out.
Not yet, you haven't, Sean.
Not yet.
Um, okay.
Well.
This seems pretty easy.
That seems pretty straightforward.
As the brains of the operation,
I didn't really need to make a plan
because it seems like it's pretty well lined up.
Well, we got some things to accomplish,
but we need plans to figure out
how to accomplish those things.
That's right.
Inside information.
All right.
Well, so it seems like we're going to be waiting
until the dinner bell to tunnel
Distraction oh there it is the dinner
Box nighttime
Time to hibernate boys nannies all right all the bees are kind of getting in line going into a little bee
Nests we need to make our all right all the bees are kind of getting in line going into the little bee uh nests we need
to make our all right now get behind me oh oh oh john's over here all right go ahead and lead the
way all right now i'll just i'll get in a bunk here all right a little a little dinner now cuddle
up all right now so we're not wearing it we're not like yeah imagine like a beehive it's like a bunch
of little like uh tell us to cuddle up you sure did yeah you're getting the same one y'all gotta
get the same little uh okay
I'm be nook you already call those things are all the bee sleep
Hi, like you know little hide things
You're all in hexagon I didn't have to be a much more complex like specific word about bees
We call it a be nester
The notes were there.
Yeah, yeah.
Alright, we're all in.
We're all in.
We're all in.
And the guards...
The same hexagon together.
And then the doors clank shut.
And the guards are out walking around.
And then you can see there's cameras too.
Oh.
Guards, guns, and cameras.
Can I call a guard over?
Sure.
Hey, uh, yo, you there with the face.
You ain't talking to me.
I sure am.
Yeah, come over here.
What? How'd you know I had a face? Oh, you know what? I talking to me? I sure am. Yeah, come over here.
What?
How'd you know I had a face?
You know, I recognize a face when I see one.
Yeah?
Well, what about this?
Now, be quiet, slaps. Oh.
Hold on.
I don't appreciate that.
And he tries to reach through the bar so he can play around and grab one of the keys off
of his key ring.
Watch your master at work, guys.
All right.
Roll for criminal.
I help by going a bit rabid
in the guard's face behind the bars.
Hey, hey!
Two.
It passes.
It passes?
Yep.
Hey, what are you doing in there?
And he opens the gate to come in and he starts to hit you.
I put him in a sleeper hole.
Yeah.
All right, roll for bear.
Time to make this guy hibernate.
Yeah.
Way to go, Bobo. But this is muscle, so I have an advantage.
Roll the other die.
Roll the smaller die.
Two.
Two.
Made it.
All right.
All right.
So we got the keys, and we got a security guard outfit.
Sean?
What do we do with this?
Well, we're supposed to tunnel in.
I don't know why we're going.
We can go this way.
It's a bit harder, but...
All right, well, here's my idea.
I'm gonna stay up here and be the guard,
and I'm gonna watch after Gabe.
And Gabe, I'm gonna take you to a security terminal
so that we can hack into the system,
and then you can oversee Bobo and Rocco
so that they can tunnel in and get into the beehive.
You might want to be cautious
about utilizing my hacking skills right now,
because it might turn me into somebody
who's gonna betray you.
All right, well, then we're gonna make sure
you get lots of honey or you do some bee shit.
I need something, I need to eat something,
I need to bite something.
All right, well, we're gonna find some bear activities
for you to do.
Yes.
Okay, maybe you just take a hibernation nap or something,
or you stuff your butt with a bunch of twigs
or whatever the bears do.
Stuff your butt.
Why don't you take them to the infirtery
where there's honey?
That's a great idea.
All right.
I know exactly where it is
because I could sense the honey.
So.
I'm a sun bear.
Well then you need to, Rocco.
Rocco?
Rocco.
Should be one take me
because Rocco can tell me, sense where the honey is.
Okay, so then you're gonna wear the security guard outfit
and then take him to the honey in the infirmary
and then you need to get to a security terminal. Yes then and then my fat ass and you bobo the cloud guy strong guy
we're gonna we're gonna start digging we're gonna have to go through all the lasers and stuff yeah
i'm just gonna have to do a couple of quick stretches as the brains i wasn't prepared for
physical activities you got it boss you got it you got the i i have faith in you you know what
you're doing all right and you're like you don't look a pound over 400 thanks thanks rocco
love to give a quick shout out before going any further to uh the person who came up with that
name sir old guzzler at me list courage don't forget to give us a follow on social media at
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Maybe you'll end up as an NPC in the show.
Speaking of which, Parkalelex the iron golem is named
after at parker's juice and speaking of park alex uh park alex and dr ahem are voiced by our very
own micah reisinger the writer editor and composer for the show we got a little bit of new merch you
might want to check out forget about flamingos and find the stinky dragon in our squad team force
blue floral print button up it's a a woven cotton fabric, short sleeve shirt.
Keep you cool all summer long.
It looks kind of like a Hawaiian shirt, but it's got, you know, like little D&D references in it.
Like maybe a little stinky dragon, a sword, a die.
I love this shirt.
I wear it all the time.
And while you're at it, you may as well grab a matching tropical blue beach towel as well to go with that button up.
And as mentioned in this Honey Heist episode, got the Barton Gum Gum t-shirt.
It's a t-shirt with a fan-made drawing
of Barton Gum Gum in the style of Bill Watterson,
who created Calvin and Hobbes.
The artwork was created by Kaylee Ann Lowe on Instagram
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We also have the same artwork available
in a gray sweatshirt and, of course, a mug.
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And lastly, we have a Stinky Dragon poster
with the entire party, including DM,
even Gumbo the Badger.
You can find it all at store.roosterteeth.com.
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I saw in chat Rissa Reno changed her name to Rissa Beano.
Yes.
Yes.
I also saw someone say it.
Easy beasy.
Easy.
And why do you want me?
Sean, you're going to come with us.
What about me?
Oh, Yella. Is Yella with us as well?
Yella, you're gonna go with them.
I like how Chris is playing two characters
and he keeps interchanging the accents.
He's making them integral to the story.
So he's allowing every-
Y'all are the one who said you wanted to bring him along.
Oh, no, it's perfect.
That is the DM's conundrum.
Welcome to my hell.
Let's bring the NPC with us.
How can I forget about Yella? So Yella's with us. Yella's with you. Sean's with us. Let's bring the NPC with us. How can I forget about Yellow?
So Yellow's with us. Yellow's with you.
Sean's with us. Sean's with you. Okay. Ready?
Alright. Bear.
Magic. Alright, so
start with you guys.
Walk down the hall. We need to go
to the infirmary. Yeah, and you're
leading. Yeah. So you're leading him as a guard.
Alright, so the guards are coming by.
And he's like, new guy? Yeah.
What's with these two?
Oh, uh, just, uh,
nothing to see here, really.
Not suspicious at all to say that.
No, just, uh, we're a temp. You know, the guy
who's normally here, he had a family emergency. Yeah, but where are you taking
these two criminals? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, no, okay, sorry. It's him and... Him and me.
Yellow. Yeah, yellow. Not red.
Not red. Yellow, you're showing your seeds. We got... Oh, no, sorry, it's him and me and yellow
We got hey hush prisoner Oh sliver don't give you more bad points. Yeah, I
slap Gabe on the face. Oh
I like that they slapped you too you to have one more time what we're
taking them I just they were misbehaving
so I was misbehaving gun taking the
infirmary because I slapped him up a
little too much
yeah oh yeah it looks like it may as
well just get your legs in right now
yeah why did you get your attack you can
go and actually you know this is your
lying again actually she could go over the board the bit the slap was very And yet, while you're hit, since you're attacking, you can go and, uh, actually, you know, this is, you're lying. You gotta actually...
She's gonna go over the board.
The slap was very bear-like.
All right, you get a point for the bear.
When I slapped, I growled at the same time.
Yeah, you get a point for bear, but now you have to roll for criminal.
Okay, so I...
Again.
Okay.
Oh, three.
Okay, so that's good.
Okay.
All right, go on by.
Do-do-do-do-do.
All right, come with me, ya beach.
All right, so you got, uh do do do do. All right, come with me, you beach.
All right, so you got Yellow and Gabe here follow into the infirmary and there's a-
What's the word?
Infirmary.
And there's several nurse bees and doctor bees.
So one doctor bee and then two nurse bees.
Yeah, because the patriarch,
you still gotta be in a bee society.
Well, I mean, wait, wait, who made the doctor a male?
You said that.
No, he said one doctor.
Am I showing my patriarchy?
It's showing.
I said a Doctor B.
Doctor B, two Nurse Bs.
But actually they are all males
because there's only one queen, so you are correct.
I radio in and I say, Gabe, stop being sexist.
Real quick, make sure that Rocco doesn't do
any more thieving stuff because he's on the edge. He's living on the edge right now. So you're gonna have to take't do any more thieving stuff because he's
on the edge he's living on the edge right now so you're gonna have to take the reins with the thieving stuff
you gotta be careful out there
what's wrong with these bees?
what's wrong with these bees?
oh uh you know they were misbehaving and I brought them here to uh you know get some bandages and clean them up a little bit
yeah alright yeah he looks a little beat up.
Yeah.
All right, well, sit down there.
We'll make sure you get bandaged up
and get a little honey.
You're looking a little brown.
What? Well, you're a bear.
Oh, okay.
Or a honey badger. I'm a honey badger.
Whatever.
Yeah, oh man, some honey would go miles.
All right, so he gives you, you know,
bandages you, gives you some honey.
He gives him the red, or yellow too.
I would, you know, it was a long walk down from the jail cell to here
And I'm a little hungry myself mind if I get a scoop off seven yeah, all right. Yeah, but here's a backup honey
Oh
Now y'all get these back to their cells all right you got maybe one more for the road? Alright. You have two extras?
Are you just using them or are you just eating them?
I'm eating them.
I radio in.
Gabe, where are you at, numbers wise?
Where's your spectrum?
I'm ready to hack.
Are you good?
I'm good enough for a hack.
Also, sorry, this guy is talking to himself.
Ah, ah, the voices.
Yeah, maybe he needs a little more honey.
Maybe he needs to go to solitary confinement.
No.
No, voice is gone.
Feel good.
All right, we'll get these back to the cells.
Ah, you got it, male nurse.
You think he's an MB, right?
Not a PHB?
Yeah.
I radio in and I say, all right, great job, guys.
You need to go to the security terminal next.
You got to get Gabe hooked in.
Yeah.
All right.
All right, so you walk down the hall, pass one guard.
He nods and punches.
Why?
Just because.
Why?
I'm glad I don't have HP in this game.
Punches Gabe and nods at Yellow.
He respects Yellow.
Yeah.
I punch him back.
You punch him back.
What is it? Get your B under yellow. Yeah. I punch him back. You punch him back? What is it?
Get your bee under control!
I'll take him right away, so yeah,
he's an unruly fella, this one.
He smacks you again.
Is that a bear move?
I smack him back.
Are these bear moves?
This is Gabe moves.
What are you doing?
I'm smacking him back.
Do that one more time.
You're gonna be not in the infirmary,
you're gonna be in the B-yard.
Graveyard.
The graveyard, wherever they killed...
I thought it was the B-yard.
Yeah, I just said B-yard.
You're gonna be in the B-yard.
If everybody could just forget what just happened,
just think that's canon, okay?
Brain it in, Gabe.
Brain it in.
Okay.
He was just the guard passing in the hallway.
You didn't have to punch.
I know.
You don't tell me what I have to or have to not do.
All right.
You make your way through, and you find a security room, right?
So there's a glass and you see a bee there,
just looking at the cameras and working.
What do you do?
I eat the bee.
What?
So, what size is he?
I mean, it's a bee, so yeah, you could eat it.
Yeah.
All right.
Oh, these are like tiny bees compared to us?
I mean, they're bigger bees than normal, but yeah.
I eat them.
All right.
Hey, what are you eating?
All right.
You get a point in bear for that.
Yeah.
Why didn't I think of that?
Well, I guess you should roll for bear.
Oh, I got to roll.
Okay.
Just roll for success.
Yeah.
Okay. Ooh, this might not succeed then if we're going off of those bear. Oh, I gotta roll. Okay. Just roll for success. Yeah. Okay.
Ooh, this might not succeed then if we're going off of those stats.
I'm at a two.
Either way, you're going to get a point.
But this is, this is carnage.
Yeah, yeah.
You're going to get a point bear.
It's just whether or not you successfully eat it.
You eat it.
Okay.
But he does sting you a bit, but it's not bad.
It's okay.
I think I'm genetically predisposed to not be bothered by it.
He barely notices. Honey bears don't. Yeah. Honey badgers don't care. Yeah, honey bad. It's okay. I think I'm genetically predisposed to not be bothered by it. He barely notices.
Honey bears don't.
Yeah.
Honey badgers don't care.
Yeah, honey badgers don't care.
Hey Gabe, I hope you don't hack that up later.
Hey.
I give him a fist bump.
All right, so.
Yolo's like, all right, well we're here.
Out of my way to find you.
Where does it sit?
We're here, what do I do?
Yolo.
I crack my knuckles and get down at the terminal and
Yellow should keep watch yes, all right yellow get to the door. You're gonna keep watch all right use those beautiful little eyes of yours
And let us know if any bees coming by they should be pretty distinguishable. Yeah, they look like bees
Not like bears
All right, are you Forrest Gump now?
Yeah, you know.
I knew you were supposed to be Morgan Freeman.
No.
So I figured it'd be.
But we got some Forrest in a second.
You're getting a full sample.
Oh, I'm so glad.
Forrest Gump was in a prison movie.
Who's that old actor, Humphrey Bogart?
Humphrey Bogart?
Is that who you're doing? Oh.
It sounds like him. It a Matthew Connery.
No, no, no.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, it might have bled a little Jimmy Stewart.
Jimmy Stewart.
Yeah, that's totally Jimmy Stewart.
All right.
Anyway, so you're hacked in the system.
You're uploaded.
Now what's going on with you guys?
Yeah, I'm uploading what?
No, you're hacked up and ready to go.
So Bobo and I, we're just digging with Sean.
I use the computers to determine the best route for them to start digging at.
Okay. Excellent. Excellent.
Could I roll for having some of your
Trulies Crayon Orange Sparklers?
Yeah. Just a sip?
Well, you gotta roll for these
because you just stole it from them.
Roll for hack.
Can I roll to hack into the system to use it?
So then I can have multiple uses to hack it.
Once you're hacked in.
I'm hacking into the system.
Unless there's something that, you know.
Two. I'm half hacked.
All right. I'm betting we have to dig Unless there's something that, you know. Two, I'm half hacked. All right.
I'm betting we have to dig behind a poster
of V to Hayworth.
Nice.
All right, so you're hacked into the system.
Yeah.
You determine that the correct path is down.
Oh!
I get on, yeah.
You worthless son of a bitch.
I use like the prison intercom.
We have earpieces.
Well, we do, I use earpieces to tell them, just head down, just go straight down, straight down to the l intercom. We have earpieces. Well, we do, I use our earpieces to tell them,
just head down, just go straight down,
straight down to the labyrinth.
I could've told you that.
Okay, well, I'm gonna eat you.
If you say something like that again.
We need Sean.
Big words for a little honey badger.
Sean, we just met you, we have to verify.
Trust but verify.
That's right, I've been screwed over in the past.
Oh, yeah, fuck. Damn him.
Alright, so, uh, y'all start digging?
Start digging down.
Really quick, is that gonna be good for you bear-wise?
Cause that's kind of a bear activity, is it not?
What?
Digging?
Digging, yeah.
That's just rolling.
We all are digging into a honeycomb, so that's definitely a bear activity.
I could use some bear.
I am still... I'll do bear. It's fine. Oh, you do it. Why don't we both. I am still, I could, I'll do bear.
It's fine. Oh, you do it.
Why don't we both?
You're probably, no, both dig.
Okay, let's do it. You need it more.
I need it, but let's both dig.
Okay, dig, dig, fine.
What'd you get, four?
He rolled a four. Four.
So that, did I fail?
Yeah.
I'm in the palm.
You go bear to criminal.
Six, I failed.
So you go bear to criminal.
That's not, that's not.
No, no, y'all both fail the plan.
You get bear points, you just don't succeed. When the plan fails, you go from criminal to bear. Yeah, that's not it. No, no, y'all both fail the plan. You get bear points, you just don't succeed.
When the plan fails, you go from criminal to bear.
Yeah, so y'all-
Oh yeah, sorry, criminal to bear.
Yeah, so y'all get bear points,
but y'all just, you call that a digging?
Show us how to dig, Sean.
Go ahead, Sean.
And now, he's a bee, so you,
you know, he does his bee thing and he starts-
He starts digging like a bee.
Yeah, like he's a bee-ing a bee.
The game plays itself.
As bees dig. He digs through, but the hole isn't big enough. It's bee-sized, like he's being a bee. The game plays itself. As bees dig.
He digs through, but the hole isn't big enough.
It's bee sized.
But it's a good start.
But we could like reach in and like expand it now.
Sure, reach in and grab it, see what happens.
I reach in and grab it and start to expand the hole.
An alarm sounds.
Gabe, get on that alarm.
I get the alarm off.
I hack it.
Okay.
Yeah, he was hacked in.
So I turn it off.
Alright.
But then I turned it off for one more second.
No, no, no!
Get, get, get, get, get!
Gabe, you worthless son of a bitch!
Where's my beer?
My honey mead?
You're supposed to follow me, not break through the path that I'm out digging!
How are they-
Okay, how are we gonna do that, Sean?
Tell me.
Well, I don't know.
I'm not a bear.
Alright, well we follow Sean exactly as he wants us to then.
Down the tiny bee-sized hole.
Yeah. Just get us to the-the-the-fit-for-it.
It doesn't matter. The alarms are disabled now anyway.
Can I-can I like put a-put a stop to the alarms?
Okay, the alarms are off. You guys can make your bear holes.
Alright. Alright.
I'm making a bear hole.
Alright.
Walking fast.
Walking fast.
You dig through through you drop down
Now there's a series of tunnels and there's guards patrolling how many guards are in this place a lot of guards my god
There's just one guard. It's like all right get through here. We'll be home safe for the ones honey, okay? We just gotta take out that one God Sean's talking. Yes
one God Sean's talking yeah yeah how are you doing I'm good do it do it I can do I do it cuz I can criminal because I might do it like silence you have a gun
flashback we planned this you and I we were sitting in the bar yes and the
circus we had a man on the inside but we had paid I, we were sitting in the bar. Yes. At the circus. The CD bar.
We had a man on the inside who we had paid off
to drop a gun in the tunnels,
because we knew when we would get there, we would need it.
So it was hidden behind a loose brick.
That's right.
Right here in this passageway, right here.
Yep.
It's a silenced pistol, specifically for shooting bees.
Well, I'll be damned.
Oh!
You guys, you gentlemen are a bit sharper than I thought.
You do get a point criminally.
Yeah.
I think both of you do because you both had a flashback.
Okay.
Go ahead.
Okay.
Make his day.
All right, now you're thinking Dirty Harry.
No, he's just telling you to make his day.
I rolled a shoot.
Nice.
Two.
Yay!
Should I go for more criminal?
Yeah, I want more criminal. And the guardute. Nice. Two. Yay! Should I go for more criminal? Yeah, yeah, one more criminal.
And the guard collapses, dead.
No, this was, we said it was tranquilizer.
No, it was tranquilizer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Passed out. Yeah, yeah.
After Gabe ate a bee earlier in the game.
No body, it doesn't count if there's no body.
Plus, also, Gabe's always eating and drinking things
he shouldn't be, and then not returning them.
Yeah! All right, so he's passed out. All right, let's, right through here things he shouldn't be. And in that return in them. Yeah.
All right.
So he's passed out.
All right.
Let's right through here.
What do you do with the body?
I eat it.
He's tranquilized.
He's tranquilized. Why would you tranquilize him?
Just eat him.
Hey, you should put it where you found the gun, right behind that brick.
Do the old Indiana Jones maneuver.
Stuff him into that brick and close the brick.
Forever entombed.
You might as well kill him.
No, it's loose enough that he can get out.
Trust me.
Once he wakes up, he'll wiggle out.
Yeah.
You brought him down here offering to share your casco,
be Montalado.
Be Montalado.
All right. Be Montalado. A Montalado. Be Montiato. All right.
A Monti-ba-bi-ato.
A mentalado.
All right, so they're digging.
They're digging.
We go right through here, and then,
all right, there's the spot right there.
Jimmy Stewart.
I'm turning to Jimmy Stewart.
You want the moon?
You want the moon?
It's Sean Connery.
Sean Connery.
Sean Connery.
All right, all right. All right.
All right, ladies.
It's right over here.
The jaw is getting further from his mouth.
The warden's stashed right through here.
We just got to make our way past these lasers.
It's like a nice office, right?
This is the warden's office?
The warden's office.
And it's silent cause it's night.
Lasers.
I mean, it's dark, it's dark and silent cause it's night.
Lasers everywhere.
Okay.
It's got lasers.
And then there's a big safe looking door behind it.
Okay.
All right. We got to be careful.
Gabe, can you patch us in and show us the lasers?
Gabe, get us the lasers.
Take care of the lasers.
What can you do with lasers?
I can only turn off some.
Maybe turn off as many as you can and then turn on the sprinklers.
That way the lasers, we can see the water.
You can use your smoke.
Hey, Gabe, what are they saying all right he's just smoking he's just smoking
harder and harder all right yeah you see that smoke works you're getting a lot of
mileage out of the cigarette maybe I don't want to I could take it here I
take it out of his mouth and I use it again he only smokes them I'm the one who uses the cigarettes for other things. Yeah, I said roll for criminal. Yeah
For perfect. All right. So now you see the intricate system
It's definitely something that is going to require some gymnastics or either you're gonna have to disable some of the mirrors in some way
I'm sorry some of the lasers in some way. Sorry, some of the lasers. With mirrors? With mirrors, maybe. Okay, so they can see the lasers.
You can see them now
because of the smoke.
Because of the smoke.
But there's not a space
big enough for a bear to get in.
Dave's going to disable
some of them.
Yeah, but it wasn't enough.
Sounds like it's time
for the bees to be put to work.
Sean?
I'm just making a statement.
Either Sean or Yellow.
What about, what about,
for acrobatics,
what if Rocco heads to the tunnel and joins him?
Am I small enough?
He's just a boy.
He is a boy.
He is just a boy.
I'm just a boy.
He would be small enough.
He's also, he is a thief.
Okay.
That makes sense.
I got this.
But I got to watch.
Someone's got to watch you.
I got this.
I got this.
I'm okay.
I'll be okay on my own.
I got this.
Yellow.
Yellow's watching out. Great. I'll be there I got this. I'm okay, I'll be okay on my own. I got this. Yellow's watching out.
God, you're great, great.
I'll be there watching.
Okay. All right, Yellow,
we're gonna have to work on your reflex skills though.
So if someone comes, you gotta really warn him.
Also, hey, Yellow,
the key is to slap the piss out of Gabe.
If he ever, if you guys are noticed.
Piss on Gabe.
No, no't slap him.
Honestly, you could piss on him, too.
I mean, that works, too.
All right.
All right, how do I get there?
I draw you a little room entry map on your paw.
All right.
I can't read.
It's a picture.
It's a picture.
It's a picture.
Okay.
All right, so you... Did you fall asleep, Rocco?
Rocco, Rocco.
Oh, sorry.
It's hard to see the map in my fur. Rocco, come in, Rocco. We, sorry. I just, it's hard to see the map in my fur.
Rocco, come in, Rocco.
We need you down here.
All right, I'm on my way, boss.
All right, so do you go down through the tunnel that they dug,
or are you giving them a different route?
Probably go through the hallways.
Through the what?
You're trying to go through the hallways into the warden's office?
I mean, Rocco's dressed as a guard.
Yeah.
I'm a guard. I'm just going to nonchalantly walk down. Okay. To the warden's office. I mean, Rocco's dressed as a guard. Or are you going through the tunnels? Yeah. So he's three-year-old. I'm a guard.
I'm just gonna
nonchalantly walk down.
To the warden's office.
A 12-year-old guard.
You can do it, Rocco.
All right, so you walk
into the warden's quarters
and there's two guards
stationed out front, armed.
Ah, gentlemen.
So old warden says
he left his wallet
in his office
and I was gonna go
retrieve it for him.
I'm his most trusted guard.
He did tell me that.
Well...
How come you don't have the security clearance
for the warden's office?
Sure I do.
Could I steal it off of one of them?
While I'm talking to them?
I think you might might i cut the lights
for a second okay the lights flicker the lights flicker you got a moment could i sneak into the
office behind them oh okay i rolled for a criminal oh come on rocko does this count as thief stuff
okay three so i think that passes yeah because i same if it's the same as or less.
All right, so you pass through.
And the lights come back on.
Rocko's gone.
He must've walked away.
He must've.
All right, you're-
Rocko whispers that out the door as if he's-
All right, so you make your way through
and you join them at the front of the entrance.
There's the lasers, you see them.
Bobo, boss, long time no see.
Rocco, damn good to see you, son.
Damn good to see you.
You gotta take that pixel out of your mouth,
they're gonna cut your tongue and it's gonna be,
I'm gonna have to talk to your mom about it.
I have the eraser side of my mouth, sir.
Well now you sound like someone calling the razors.
Nope.
All right Rocco, I need to get through these lasers,
use your fantastic, uh...
Boy-length?
Boy-length sun bear, uh, you know, skills.
They are a lanky bear.
They have very creepy looking ears.
Yeah, they're horrifying.
When they stand up, they look like a man in a bear costume.
Yep.
I look up sun bears.
You know, really quick, to inspire him,
hopefully giving him inspiration,
Rocko, I've always considered you one of my favorite bears,
but not only are you a sun bear, you're my son.
Papa!
Papa!
You know, sir, it means a lot that you said that.
I feel really inspired, but I really hope my tears don't accidentally hit one of these lasers now.
Oh, no.
It's okay, Rocco.
You can take a moment to collect yourself, and then you can get into that warden's office.
Rocco limbers up.
All right, so you're going to roll for criminal?
Yeah, acrobatics.
But do I get to do good, or is that it?
I mean, he's acrobatics. This is exactly what you do good? Or is that a... I mean...
This is exactly what he brought him on for! He's a thief!
Is he stealing something?
Alright, alright.
We all saw the trailer for Entrapment. None of us watched the movie, but...
I saw it.
Did it work? Okay. It's amazing.
You've never seen a bear do
cat-like reflexes like this. I mean,
this bear's flipping through the air.
It's almost like, I mean, you worked at the circus, and you've never seenes like this. I mean, this bear's flipping through the air. It's almost like, I mean, you worked at the circus
and you've never seen anything like this.
Wow.
There's some serious acrobatics.
That's my boy, that's my boy.
He gets through and there he's at the front.
He's got the system right there
and you just gotta disarm it.
All right.
Wait, pause.
Don't do any more criminal stuff.
Everybody instantly did the same thing.
Not everybody reacted.
Rocko, if you do one more criminal thing,
I might lose you, my boy.
Yeah.
I don't know if I can do that.
What do you suggest I do?
Maybe just like go bear on it.
Is there anything you could do to reconnect
to your bear roots?
Could I, I can't have a flashback of me being born
into a little bear cub.
Nah, that's criminal. Oh, what does, oh, he did, oh. He's eating honey. bear roots? Could I? I can't have a flashback of me being born into a little bear cub.
That's criminal. I need bear.
I need some bear stuff. When I got honey from the infirmary, is there still
bits of honey on my fingers
that I could like lick off? What if
Rocco mauls it? That's what I'm saying.
I mean, do you want to try and maul it? I'll try to maul it.
Just go bear on the, alright, yeah.
I'm so pumped up from the fact that I just
avoided all those lasers that I'm just gonna. And you have a dad now? Yeah. I'm, yeah. I'm so pumped up from the fact that I just avoided all those lasers.
And you have a dad now?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm just so, I'm so pumped up.
Six, that passes.
No, that fails.
Oh, no.
But you get a point bear, but it does not disable the alarm.
All it does is just scratch it.
But I do get a point bear.
Okay.
Let's go back to me.
This is a good boy.
This is a good Rocco.
Can I send them the codes?
Can I figure out, is that in the system?
You want to try and figure out the warden's passcode?
Yeah.
8008.
Boom.
Yeah, you try and hack into his email, maybe,
and see if you can find the code.
Send him an email saying that he won,
but you're a Nigerian prince.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're gonna send him $45 million.
These bees are really stupid. Yeah, yeah, if you can find the warden's passcode. So You're gonna send him $45 million. These bees are really stupid.
Yeah, yeah.
If you can find the warden's passcode.
So you're gonna email him?
Yeah, I'm gonna email him and say that, yeah, I'm a Nigerian.
Okay.
Roll for criminal. Wants him to invest in our bees.
Wait, can you do criminal?
You good?
Yeah, I'm good.
You square?
Fine.
All right.
I got this.
All right, gang.
One.
Yes.
All right, so you send an email, and what did the email say? Dear warden. I got this. All right, gang. One, yes. All right, so you send an email,
and what does the email say?
Dear Warden, we are here to inform you
that you have lapsed on your Norton antivirus subscription.
We require your login information
in order to rectify some errors in your account.
That's good, that's good.
I like that word.
Send it immediately. Oh my goodness, it's good. I like that word. Send it immediately.
Oh my goodness, here's my login information, and sends it.
Oh wow, he's just sitting at home checking his email, huh?
Yeah.
You got the codes.
Sounds like me.
He never turns off, all right?
That's admirable.
Well, that's why he's gotta protect himself from hackers.
So I send him the code.
Yeah, send the code, enter it in.
All right, I got the code.
Can you read it out to me?
Zero.
Zero.
Zero.
Zero.
Zero.
Zero.
Zero, zero, one.
Hold on, hold on.
I think I messed up.
Okay, zero.
Zero.
Zero, zero.
Zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, one.
I think I did one too many zeros. I had it backwards, I had it backwards.
One, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero.
The lasers snap off, first try.
Clear to the stack.
And you walk in, and there's a clash.
A cage drops down around you.
Who's all in here, though?
All of you and Sean.
You're out, and you and Yellow are out.
I'm going to try to eat my way out of the cage.
Wait, wait, wait.
The cage crashes down on you.
And all of a sudden.
No.
Like a caged bear.
I don't like caged bear since.
It's Sean, it's gotta be Sean.
No, it's Iceberg.
Sean was a bear all along.
Beast could clap.
Warden Norton, a Louisiana black bear, enters. Oh no. The warden was a bear all along. Bees could clap. Warden Norton, a Louisiana black bear, inners.
Oh no.
What?
The warden's a bear?
Wait a minute.
Brilliant, brilliant work.
Couldn't have done it better
if I had planned the whole thing myself.
Sidney Graham.
He was the guy, he was the inside job that gave it to you.
I did plan the whole thing.
Da da da.
Who do you think was writing those letters to Iceberg?
Oh my God.
Huh?
Simple little Iceberg.
He's dead now, right?
Yeah. Good.
No! Died in my arms.
Drowned of Coca-Cola.
I just couldn't stop pouring it on him.
He would've died from other, you know, whatever.
I was a thief just like all of you once.
I'm the only thief in this group.
Well, I was a heister.
Okay.
Just like all of you.
But then I found it a little more profitable
to steal from the inside of the system.
I wrote these letters to Ice Book
because one of the damn fool try and break into my prison
so I could discover any remaining security weaknesses,
which I must thank you for discovering all of them for me.
With your help, I've made this prison completely impenetrable.
Take that one more time, Warden.
It's completely impenetrable.
Ah, yes.
Now, you'll learn firsthand, though, how unbreakable this prison is.
That's so foolish. Because you're gonna spend
the rest of your lives rotting away
here.
While I take honey baths. He's transcontinental.
He's going all over the place.
He got the honey Jack Daniels.
Take my honey baths and honey showers
in my honey wagon.
Ew. Oh, no, you don't want to go. I don't think you know what a honey
wagon is. That's where I
keep my honey in the bathroom.
I like to keep myself bathed in honey at all times. I just love honey.
Now, enjoy yourself. I'm going to go take a bath.
Well, have good luck with that because I have your bath honey in my pockets.
What?
You see, when we were in the bathroom earlier.
I need you. When you DM us, I need a lot more often.
What?
Just say, what?
We were in the bathroom earlier, I got wind of what was going on,
and I stole all your honey and put it in my pocket.
Is that a flashback?
That wig was actually mine.
Wait, you gotta explain how you stole his honey from the bathroom
when you were knocked out cold.
Also, if you knew this plan- oh the bathroom! Oh-
Yes! Yeah, we- I also have it in my pockets too, Bobo!
Yeah, we all stole your bath honey, and it's in all of our pockets.
Right, Rocko?
Yeah!
But that's- that's not possible!
Then how do you-
Get my honey?
Easy. With a heist.
Ugh.
Wait a second.
Well if you want your honey, you have to come here and get it from us.
You got- how-
You got honey?
Guards, open the cage!
I open the cage.
Well, they ended up open anyway.
Okay.
Alright, give me the honey.
Alright, uh, I pounce on him. Yeah! Also, you all gain a criminal. Anyway, okay Give me the honey
Gain the criminal no
Back to a blade or you lied
All right, well then roll for criminal criminal, see if this works, and you fool him. So you gotta fail this, you get more bear.
Fail this.
Five.
Oh, it's a success.
He comes in, I mean, he's fooled, now you've gone mad.
I've gone mad and I ripped him to shreds.
Wait, no, no, no, you've gone mad with criminal, so you want to betray your team.
Oh no!
No.
I let myself out of the cage and lock it behind me oh thanks it was
all part of the plan all along i don't i don't know why he's winking now if he's on the other
side status update we're locked in here and bobo just left us bobo what do you do like i mean you're
you're abandoning the team at this point yeah i'm um'm double-crossing. I'm going to try to run back out the way we came in.
Okay, you run out, back out.
I mean, it's fine.
Yeah.
But if I've learned one thing on this mission,
it's not the importance of honey.
It's the importance of family.
We need to switch gears, and we need to get Bobo back.
I was told to say if a stranger touches me
that my body's nobody's body
But mine and you could touch your own body and let me touch mine
Warden yells
You're running down the hallway and a bunch of guards run past you all right, and they're like
Yeah, where's the warden? What's wrong that way? Okay, and they run this
I put the prison on lockdown.
All the doors are locked.
No. All the doors.
You're locked in the warden's office, so there's two guards outside of the cage
with our prisoners and the
warden locked in, and then we got
crazy panda over there
locked in the warden's office.
So Bobo's got to do something to get back to more bear, right?
Right, if he can.
Or is he stuck?
Y'all gotta say- y'all gotta get him under control.
We gotta save Bobo.
I set off the strobe lights in the warden's office.
You know, the ones like if there's an emergency.
And I set them off at the frequency that hurts bees.
That's right!
Because bees, like, it's just like smoke.
If you flash a light at a right frequency, they-
45 hertz.
They completely go
Right criminal
How are you there? I'm okay
But I'm hacking you get another guy three got it. Okay, wait strobe lights go off
Okay, and then I in a bloody berry rage mauled the warden. All right, it's a barrel bear action
I want it and I do it in a terrifying manner. Okay?
It's a bear-on-bear action. I want it. And I do it in a terrifying mana.
So that's an advantage. Okay.
Ah!
Three. Three.
Three. Yes?
I don't know. What's your score?
Two?
No, it failed.
Wait, I thought it was gonna be lower.
It's gonna be lower.
Okay, but I have advantage because I'm scary.
You are one.
One!
Ah!
All right, so do you eat the warden,
or are you just mauling to, what is this?
Like, on a scale of Leonardo DiCaprio
and the revenant to, like, full-on dead.
What?
Do I kill him, or do I not?
He double-crossed us!
End him! End him!
Yeah, but he might have information.
I'm hesitant to kill a main character.
Rocco, this is why you, my son, you brought me back down.
I was gonna give in to my rage, but I revenant him. He's on the verge of death.
All right, all right, so he's still there.
And you got your point and bear.
That's right.
And then you got the two guards staring at the lights, but you're still in a cage.
Now we go back to Bobo.
What are you doing?
Do I smell any honey anywhere?
We're in the ward staff room.
You don't want honey.
I want honey.
No, he's a criminal.
Well, no, he...
Oh, yeah.
I forget.
You're trying to get out.
I mean, you know it's in the bathroom.
Yeah, I'll look for the bathroom.
All right, you find the bathroom.
It's right there.
It's labeled bathroom.
I start gorging myself on honey.
All right, you start gorging yourself on honey.
Should I bring him back down to bed?
He's not back yet. He's just eating honey. He's gone nuts. gorging yourself on honey. Should I bring him back down to bear? He's not back yet.
He's just eating honey.
He's gone nuts.
Y'all are gonna have to get him back.
Okay, all right.
So you got two guards staring at strobe lights,
and y'all are locked in a cage.
I still have my tranquilizing pistol
from earlier when I shot that bee, remember?
So I take the shot.
So they're out.
All right, so you knock them out, and then what?
Do I roll for that or no?
Yeah, you're gonna roll for criminal.
So it's gotta be a three or lower?
Three.
All right, you pass, you get one more criminal.
Beast, knock down.
I go in the air, comment down.
Kill the guards, kill the guards!
The key!
Game, comment down!
The keys fall out of their hands as they collapse.
Can I grab them?
Yeah, grab the keys.
We go rock out.
I got it, boss!
I stole those right off the floor.
That's great, Rocco.
Great deal.
Shifting odds.
Yeah.
All right, so you open the gate, and you got your mold.
What do you do now?
Roll mission, polishable, five, six?
I can't remember.
So when he's going through all the hallways, and he says,
Benji, open up all the doors.
Yeah.
All right, that's you, Gabe.
Open up all the doors from us to Bobo.
Was that Rug Nation?
Might have been.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's the one where they go to Russia.
Anyway, do you open the doors?
I open one of the doors.
I can't remember.
Let's go to the protocol.
Okay.
I open one of the doors.
Okay, so then we're going through the doors to get to Bobo.
I'll open one.
All right.
Then I go through that door.
I'll open up just that one.
Okay.
All right, we're there.
Open the dog room, Gabe.
It's a bathroom door. Is it locked? No, it was open, right? No, I'm asking you. You could have just that one. Okay, all right, we're there. Open the dog room, Gabe. It's a bathroom door, is it locked?
No, it was open, right?
No, I'm asking you.
You could've locked the bathroom.
I'm just like, it's such a, I guess it was.
Okay, all right.
It's such a lust, yeah.
All right, we're face to face.
Yeah, he just said they're eating.
I'm face down, ass up.
All right, well then I go over and I say,
Bobo, come back to us, And I give him the biggest bear hug.
Oh.
And I just keep whispering,
pickin' at baskets, pickin' at baskets.
Just dancing around.
Doing great, Rocko.
Roll for bear hug?
Roll for bear hug.
I mean, it's up, Bobo, what do you do?
I'm very full and lazy,
so I just absorb the bear hug
and let the bear goodness wash over me.
He's back
This moment several guards come down yellow there's two guards
They're coming and then the guards are coming down what happens? What do you do? I?
Poop in the office. Okay. I take the biggest poop I've been holding.
The biggest honey badger poop I've been holding back.
Yeah, because we got so rushed in that little room.
Yeah, and I poop, and I...
I don't know how you could fail that.
You could just have a bear point.
The bee... Oh, my God.
What the... There's a mess in here.
Oh, my God. It's terrible.
What is going on?
Somebody left a mess.
Someone get facilities.
It's you!
We see you!
I made an accident.
I need help.
Oh my god!
Can you wipe me?
Please come in.
Oh, no!
Okay.
Leave me with my shame.
Gladly.
Okay.
Alright, now y'all gotta get out of the prison.
So we gotta collect Gabe.
We gotta put all the honey we can in our pockets. That's right. And get out of here. And we gotta collect Gabe too, so that weall gotta get out of the prison. So we gotta collect Gabe. We gotta put all the honey we can in our pockets.
That's right.
And get out of here.
And we gotta collect Gabe too,
so that we can all get out together.
Gabe, meet us at the rendezvous point.
Right, yeah.
And I'll say this, in the bathroom,
there's a really nice bathroom,
you know, one of those little bathroom kits, you know,
where you keep all your toothbrush and-
Shop kit.
Yeah. Yeah.
All your toothbrush stuff, and inside of Yeah. Yeah. All the toothbrush stuff,
and inside of it,
pure manuka extract.
Ooh.
That's the good stuff.
Worth five million.
Five million?
Honey?
And bear dollars.
Wow. Bear dollars.
That's going to get us a lot of high points.
Bear and seeds.
It's 8.5% less than the last one.
Y'all still got to get out of here.
And here's the deal.
The whole system is in lockdown.
Yeah.
You put it in lockdown.
I'm locked out of the system.
I can't do anything.
Yeah, but-
Did you lock it down? I did. I did. The prison's in high alert. I'm locked out of the system. I can't do anything. Yeah, but did you lock it down?
I did.
The prison's in high alert.
How do you get out?
I took the poop on the computer.
Oh my God, Gabe.
How do you get out?
We go back to the tunnels
and instead of digging to the right,
to the warden's office,
we dig to the left out under the wall.
Yeah.
I love digging.
So you're just gonna dig,
you're gonna try and dig out of the prison?
Yes.
And Yellow and Sean are with us.
It's important that they get out with us.
All right.
Wait, should we do a prison break, just like full on?
Get all these bees out of here.
I don't have any control over that.
Make a big enough hole, a bear sized hole.
Yeah. Get them all out of here.
Save all the bees, save the bees.
You're talking about a full on prison break?
Yes, Yellow.
Yes.
Well, I'll see you in Zewatinego.
I understand that reference.
Uh, Zewatinego.
He didn't even say the right place.
I wouldn't know any better, I'm 12.
Let's get busy buzzin' or get busy dyin'.
There it is, and I eat him.
Oh!
No!
Gabe!
I spit him out, I spit him out.
You crazy?
Just a little bit.
Since I'm a honey badger, I go through the vent.
And I go through the ventilation system back to the cell.
And yellow follows me.
Alright.
You follow through, you are now in the cell.
Wait, you said you're in a cell.
I'm at the cell that we originally made the first toilet.
And then where do you go?
I go down and start digging.
Digging in them and y'all meet them there?
Yeah, we start digging out towards the wall at Freedom.
That's right.
And how are we supposed to let all the others out?
Well, that's, frankly, that's not Bobo's concern.
Well, I think these bars look awful lot like bamboo, Bobo.
What? Did you say bamboo?
I start eating the bamboo.
So you run back up and start eating all through the bars.
He's just taking bites out of bars.
And it's working.
Yeah.
My god.
Look at him go.
And then all the bees are buzzing and the guards are freaking out.
Yeah.
It's a full on break.
Mayhem.
Mayhem.
Yeah.
Carnage. And you're all breaking out. You dig through what feels like miles and miles of worse things than, you know, bees Yeah! It's a full on break! Mayhem! Mayhem! Yeah!
Carnage!
And y'all are breaking out.
You dig through what feels like miles and miles of worse things than, you know, bees
never seen before.
Shocks shake.
Shocks shake.
You know how it goes.
You come out.
It's raining.
Of course.
And you wash free.
Ah!
And all the bees are flying out and it's crazy.
And you hear sirens in the distance. but they're looking for bees not for bears
Yeah!
And all they find is a warden mauled nearly to death with dirty books
Splued out. What was that word? Dirty books
Nope, splued out.
Splued out all over the place
Cause it's dirty business. What kind of dirty books are these?
I got it all over these books I got it all over these books Well it's dirty business. What kind of dirty books are these? I got on all over these books.
Well, it's dirty business.
The warden's dirty business.
Booby books.
And you guys get out. What do you do now that you're out free?
Let's split this manuka four ways and make it to the different corners of the earth.
Tell us. What happens in ten years?
Bobo builds the greatest mansion he could ever dream of out of bamboo.
But it was unwise because he ends up eating his house. What happens in 10 years? Bobo builds the greatest mansion he could ever dream of out of bamboo.
But it was unwise because he ends up eating his house and ends up living on the street.
So he wastes it all.
Chat saying split.
What does he do after that?
Does he go back to?
He dies alone in the gutter.
Oh, no.
Never uttering his last name to anyone.
Bobo, why would you do that to yourself?
Jesus.
Gabe?
Gabe waits for Bobo to die
and then sells the information of Bobo's last name
to the highest person on the market
because Gabe took all of his money from the heist
and blew it all on...
Higher education?
Bad bitcoins.
Bitcoins.
Beatcoins.
Yeah, B-coins.
B-coins.
And lost all of his money on the Bitcoin market.
NFBs.
Yeah, NFBs.
And so I sell Bobo's last name,
because he's famous as that one bear
Who made a bamboo house and then ate his own house?
And I sell that name to the highest bidder on the market.
Highest bidder.
And I know his last name.
What is it?
It's Brooks.
Brooks?
Yep.
Bobo Brooks.
Bobo, this is easy. What was it?
What's the middle name?
Bobo won't be easy Brooks. Bobo won't be easy Brooks. It's a good name. Bobo, this is easy. What was it? What's the middle name?
Bobo won't be easy Brooks.
Bobo won't be easy Brooks.
What about you two?
So after a couple more heists together, you know,
Gerald and Rocco become best buds.
And at some point, Rocco brings some adoption papers over to Gerald.
Why does he adopt? Y'all adopt a bear?
No, he adopts me.
I thought he was already your son.
No, I mean, I said it like it was like a figurative.
Oh, I thought you were saying that you were his actual son.
No, no, no, he's my son bear, and I said he was like my son.
Sometimes you gotta manifest things into existence.
Oh, okay, okay.
That's good, that's good.
You gotta manifest.
Adoption papers make sense, though.
And I end up on the top of the subreddit,
crying dads, our crying dads,
because I'm so happy that he wants me to be his dad.
His papa.
Yeah, and I live a nice, happy life.
I'm no longer a washed up bear, I'm a successful.
A journeyed up bear?
No, I'm good, I do a clean life.
I live out the rest of my days clean.
Little did they know, but Rocko,
at the end of the heist, the rest of the bears the foraged honey
and took the real honey for himself and Gerald.
Oh no.
But they got screwed over.
That's why I died alone in a ditch.
Damn you Rocco.
What about, what about Yellow?
You tell us.
Yeah man, it's you man.
I was hoping that we could go build a little beehive on the beach in Mexico.
Would a bee really want to build a beehive with a bear?
I don't know if the beach is also a very good place for bees to find home.
A lot of flowers.
He's just trying to honor the social tradition.
You know all the flowers on the beach?
He goes, that's a beehive.
That's what he does.
And he dies because there's no flowers on the beach.
And then so you're saying you double crossed them and took all the honey.
Yeah.
That's funny you should say that.
Another twist.
Sean Connery.
He took all the honey and he made out like a bandit.
But I'm the bandit.
And then I hacked his bank account and took the money to myself.
Oh, damn.
And he ran away with the prom queen.
Mission accomplished. What an adventure.
Good honey heist, boys. Good honey heist.
Yeah. Go Bears!
Duh Bears.
But thank you for joining us. This was our first attempt at doing this. We kind of want to make this a regular thing.
If you guys enjoyed this, play some other RPGs,
meet some new friends along the way.
Duh Bears. Duh Bears.
So, thank you to Chris for
DMing us. Good job, Chris.
Chris, the DM-er.
Chris, you'll be taking over for Jeff. And shout out to Ben
for producing this.
And production.
And broadcast.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
Bye.