Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Vengeance in Vainia - Between The Tales - C02 - Ep 45.5
Episode Date: June 4, 2024After a harrowing battle, the party finds themselves having to make a quick escape down the Vampsyre! Support us at http://Patreon.com/stinkydragon - get access to ad-free episodes, bonus content lik...e Stinky Dragon Adventures & Second Wind, and more! Go to http://katoskoffee.com and use code Stinky5 for 5% off your order. Go to http://HeroForge.com to start designing your custom miniature today and check back often: new content is added every week. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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["Tales of the Stinky Dragon Theme"]
Hello everyone, welcome to Tales of the Stinky Dragon.
It's time for a between the tales.
You had no rhymes, no enunciation.
What is going on here?
I'm giving jazz hands.
Does that help?
Alliteration.
Look at my jazz hands.
Your jazz hands are kind of creepy.
Yes audio listeners, look at his jazz hands.
They are very like I'm gonna grab
I'm gonna steal your food
We all float down here
I'm your dungeon master Gustavo Cirula. I am joined by our four players who I'm not hitting with an arrow today
So players, why don't you just introduce yourselves?
I'm Blaine
I don't know who's going first so? You got it. I'm Blaine.
I don't know who's going first, so I just went for it.
I'm Blaine. I play Chip Haney. I'm a level seven tiefling.
Level nine tiefling road.
What?
Oh, spoiler.
Was I supposed to say that?
Yeah, sure. Why not?
OK.
Restart the whole session.
Hello, everyone.
Welcome to Between the Tales.
Go, go, Blaine.
Oh, what? That was it.
What else was I supposed to say? I don't know
What's your what's your favorite pair of underwear you owned? Is this my arrow? You know, I actually switched to briefs recently
I'm out, you know to lose the lining because I have boxer lining. Yeah, and they're terrible
I think they're very uncomfortable, but when you say when you say you have boxer lining, what does that mean?
You know like because I wear really short shorts, they're all very tight.
And they just like, you just see the line on my thigh when I'm wearing my pants.
So if I switch to like, tighty-whities, then the line got it.
It's like a panty line, but a box line. I got it. Okay.
Yeah. I have a question.
So you're saying tighty-whities, which to me is the appropriate way of saying it.
I've heard some people say Whitey Tidies.
Incorrect.
And I'm just like, that's not it.
But so many people say Whitey Tidies.
And I'm like, no, it's Tidy Whities.
Van Broth?
Mon Brath.
Is it Whitey Tidy?
OK, sorry. Tidy Whities.
Stop. Whitey Tidy.
Wefty Woosie.
I'm Chris Demaris. Hello Chris.
What do you, who do you play?
I play Barney Farney.
You didn't do the voice? There it is. Okay.
I was like, I don't know how long to let this go before I...
What's your favorite pair of underwear you own?
Yeah, Ben was commenting that since we don't have an arrow, you all have forgotten how to introduce yourselves.
And what level and class is Barney Farney?
Barney Farney
Barney Farney. He's a human cleric and recently level nine. Nice. Spoiler. Wow. Well, I'm
I'm Barbara Dunkelman and I play a good one breath. The level nine half of them power
barbarian. I said that very kind of muddled because I was swallowing my food. Truly a
Jill of all trades. Oh, thank
you guys. She's, she's many things. Also we need to find out at some point what Barney
actually is. Cause they ain't no way this guy's human. He's just, he's a, he's just
a bunch of squirrels.
All that explains his love of trying to collect random animals. True. Sure. Hi, I'm John Rice
here and I play Matide confices who is an Eric Cochran, ghost monk and his level 9.3.
Ooh, nice. In D and D terms are still just level nine. By the time that this episode
comes out, then the episode with the Vena will have come out and we record my girlfriend
and plays a Vena Kristen. And we did her lines last night and there was this line where she says,
Oh my God, most fun.
I can't wait to hear that. I'm very excited. I'm a huge fan of, of Kristen in general.
So I'm glad that she gets to do the part.
I think that episode came out today that we're recording this episode. Oh really?
Yeah, I think that was the one that came out today.
Yeah, that tracks.
There was an episode that came out today,
but I don't know if it had-
No, that's not today.
That's not today.
No, cause we recorded last night,
so I was like, I hope David didn't pull an all-nighter.
No, today is the rave party.
Yeah, that's right, that's right, that's right.
Okay, yeah, so it's next week.
Anyway, we do a lot of episodes.
We have a lot of D&D going on.
I was thinking about how yesterday,
so the episode recorded, we're getting ahead.
So what came out last week, I realized I was like,
it's my fiancee and Blaine's girlfriend who are evil
and they're against us.
And I'm like, you two are conspiring.
That's how it works. evil and they're against us and I'm like you two are conspiring.
That's how it works.
Speaking of all of this D&D we have going on, we're going to do our favorite Between the Tales activity
where one of you, whoever wants to, can try to accurately and succinctly recall the previous arc in only 90 seconds.
Who wants to give it a shot?
I think it's got to be Barbara cause it's the VAMSPIRE.
Yeah, I know Chris, I think you tried it last time.
So I'm gonna give Barbara a shot first this time.
He did raise his hand first.
Okay, all right.
No, no, okay.
Okay, well I-
Set a timer for 90 seconds.
Someone go.
I'll go.
All right, so we make our way to Vania
and we are stopped by Sforatu who appear and tell us that we need to make an oath.
But before that happens, Elga reveals to the party that she is a vampire, where Barney does not react very well.
And then we have to do that oath to get into Vania.
Barney pretends to do it and then eventually has to do it, which takes
a while.
And then we come in and then we
do some shopping around town.
And there's also like a protest
happening out in the streets, people
protesting Dracula saying that he's
making rules that people he doesn't
even follow himself.
And then we eventually get into the
the vampire by saying Stoker,oker which figured out with the password and then we meet a painter who?
Has a key we use that key again all sorts of places and we find battlers are people who are the vampires
and then we meet quickly who was Elga's little helper guy and then we
Eventually make our way through places. We meet who for who is Elga's little helper guy. And then we eventually make our way through places.
We meet Hooper who is on a farm and then
that's what you bring up details.
And then we find Elga's place and realize that it's been all
like messed up and there's a book with a page missing.
And then we find out that her mother has returned
and her sister's there and she's being weird.
And also her dad is Hugo and he's evil.
That was quite a bit.
There's a lot to get through.
Anyone want to try to hop in with another 90 seconds?
Oh, Chris, you go for it.
Finish it up.
I got one comment about how Barbara did a very good job of summarizing, but she did
the thing that we all do when we're like writing a message on a piece of paper where you write
the letters way too big
at the beginning of it.
And then you get to the end of the paper like,
happy birthday.
And then you're like.
90 seconds feels like it should be longer than that.
I know, you got to like 30 seconds
and you weren't even past the oath yet.
Yeah.
All right, Chris, give it a shot.
Chris, go.
I have a question.
Do you want me to start from,
do you want me to fill in the holes that Barb left
or start from the beginning?
Start from where Barb stopped. Okay, go
Barb
one thing Barb forgot was in the while running around the ramp spy we ran into some
Battlers who were Barney's family is wife and two kids
They do not recognize him have no memory of him and then they ran off
They do not recognize him, have no memory of him, and then they ran off. And then they chased after them, quickly helped us get up to the
Elga's place. It was all ransacked.
There's weird writing on the wall and a secret thing in the floor.
Then there was also the Wolfman's daughter.
We found her caged up.
She ran off.
I don't want to look right now.
Then ran up, found there was a meeting of all the vampires
to announce that Elga's dad was going to be persecuted or trial.
They met Elga's mom and sister.
And then sister betrayed us,
tried to get us turned into the bad guys.
Then we go, we trick them and then say we're fine.
And then we go up and we explore, we find Eddie.
Then Eddie, we go through,
we bird steal some money from bad guys and then we find out vampire Dracula is
is nose nose I'm freaking out
Bot daughter! Chris, why can't your turns go that fast?
Yeah, you got a lot of it.
You all did quite a bit.
I'm going to go over some real broad strokes just to fill in some details from the beginning.
So just, you know, the arc started with you guys investigating Carol's death.
That's when you cured the alchemist, you received mail from Skipper, got visions from Gigi, like Barbara said,
you went with the Vainian vows.
To flesh out a little more, the mob,
I don't know if I should say the protesters
were Francesca, the mummy, and Hegzal,
who were protesting, and you stopped the mob
from attacking them.
Specifically, you shopped at Low's Hanging Fruit,
Oldenwares, Marin's Mantlery, and Vanyard Valhara.
Then you get into the Vampspire,
you went into the Tales of the Dock,
which is the lower level.
You met Graf the Painter,
went to the workshop, the coffin,
with the secret room, the library.
You freed some animals,
took some bodies from the bestiary,
visited the commissary,
you ended up at the squiry,
where you found Quifly.
You saw visions at the squiry,
you banished Hofer, the giant goat in the refusery,
sent some mail at the aviary, gained access to and shopped at the dregs.
Rescued Barney's family from some Sphuratu, then they ran away.
Entered the Clawstread, explored Elga's home, found Benicia, the wolfman's daughter.
Explored more of Clawstread, entered the Triclinium, encountered Elga's mom, Countess Von Brath.
You listened to the Sphuratu announcements about Count von Brath's arrest.
Returned to Elga's home, interacted with the Countess, Quifley and Novena.
Played hide and seek.
Then you encounter some Sfratu who were looking for you guys,
fought with them a little bit,
ascended to the Think Pick.
It's scary, isn't it?
Went into the Sepulcher, you found a disguised Eddie,
went to the Silver,
where you talked with Count von Broth,
went to the Belfry, where you talked with Dracula.
Then, oh, you also went to the Capillary,
then returned to the Capillary, kept playing hide and seek with Sphurat 2, felt the tremor, then you had your combat with, or so your encounter in the capillary against Eddie, count Van Brathen with Sphurat 2, big earthquake, vampire started falling.
So yeah, the DM council has deemed that the reward will go to Elga.
Woo!
For performance in the recap.
I panicked.
Some polite golf clapping.
Elga, you gain Honed, which allows you to gain proficiency
in one skill that you aren't already proficient in.
Wow.
If you look at your character sheet,
you see all of your skills in the middle there.
The ones that you're proficient in
have the black dot to the left of them.
So honed will allow you to just click an empty dot
and put a black dot in it.
So metagame wise, well, this is all metagame,
it allows you to add your proficiency bonus
into your role.
So for example, your first one there is animal handling.
It has a plus one by default.
When if you enable it,
you would also add your percentage bonus,
so it would be a plus four.
Oh, okay.
So I choose one.
Yeah.
What you gonna go with?
I think I'm gonna go for investigation.
Oh, that makes sense.
I feel like I've been doing a lot of that.
Although I do have advantage on that.
That's what I was gonna say.
You already have advantage on that role.
So maybe history? I don't know. You already have advantage on that role. So maybe history?
I don't know.
We don't use history often.
Not to...
I feel like I don't use a lot of these very often.
Not to dunk on history.
You can't go wrong with perception.
Yeah, well, she already has advantage.
I'm sorry, proficiency and perception.
The counter argument to you don't use history very often
would be like, maybe you don't use it
because you're not proficient in it
Maybe if you were proficient in it, it would be something that would come up more often
I'm trying to think of like what's gonna be useful for this next arc. Well history maybe
Chip was down. So maybe medicine
Made persuasion. Yeah persuasion is not bad. I'll do persuasion. Yeah, that's a good universal check.
Speaking of Chip being down, I guess we should pick up where we left off.
So yeah, like I said, Hugo's muttering and you can hear it in your brains.
Chip, I guess you're dreaming of this.
Yep.
My, my, this certainly is a round of reunions we have here.
What?
It's so lovely to be surrounded by old friends, isn't it Barney?
Do you remember how rude you were to me when we first met?
Here I was simply asking you for directions and you said nary a word.
But that's alright. Your family was much more amiable.
Oh, and talk about attentive. For years they've been waiting on my every back-and-call!
And indeed, it's so good to see you again. Or see through you again.
Haha! Oh, I'm just teasing, my feathered friend.
Besides, we both know what trouble that nosy beak of yours got you in last time we met.
Talk about a grave mistake, hmm?
Then there's Elga.
Sweet, innocent little Elga.
I'm so glad it was me who got to inject some fanged fury
into that fraily demeanor of yours.
Who knew such a kind little girl
was born to be a vicious vampire?
Or I suppose a reborn would be more apt.
Looks at Chip.
And then...
Hmm...
I don't think we've officially met,
but I'm a huge fan of your wife's work.
Oh, sorry.
Late wife, isn't it?
My mistake.
Once again, you feel your feet jostle
as the entire tower begins to quake and rumble.
What's going on?
Bro, there's way too much lore that just dropped on us right there.
Then with a crack, the force splits in half, like a seam on a tattered tunic.
Everyone make a Dexterity saving throw.
What about Chip's corpse?
Does he make a Dexterity saving throw?
No, no, no.
Um, I have advantage on Dexterity saving throws.
Yep, you get it.
Okay.
Great, so when you pass yours, can you grab my body before it falls into the crevice?
I sure will.
Is any allies near me with impact eat?
Chip?
I rolled an 18 on that.
Okay. 26.
Nice.
13. I don't roll, right?
No, you don't.
You're already on the ground, so it's fine.
Your body just goes...
Elga, you look down and see your silver locket is shattered into pieces as it falls to the ground.
It must have fallen from your pack.
You see the picture inside has fallen out on the ground, but it's a different picture.
You look closer and see you in a family portrait, but it's not your family.
You're standing next to a strapping Elven woman, two boys wrestling with each other,
and you're looking up smiling at a balding man wearing glasses.
While you're looking down, Elga, Eddie charges straight at you, ramming into you.
And this makes me a dexterity saving throw.
Me?
Yeah.
With advantage?
Yes.
Not 20.
There you go.
22.
You roll pretty well.
You're expecting it, but it still kind of throws you off your feet a little bit with
the ground shaking and everything.
And you begin falling off of the ledge into the fissured floor.
But at the last second, you're able to deftly grab the crumbling ledge.
And as you dangle on the verge of falling,
a pale hand reaches out over the edge.
Here, take hold of my hand.
I shall pull you to safety.
You look past the hand and see a sneering Hugo
wearing a black top hat and a red ascot.
Ooh, I just got some deja vu.
A sinking feeling plummets in your stomach like you've been in this situation before.
And with a rumble, the entire vampspire shakes violently,
and the stone walls begin to crack and buckle under the tremendous pressure.
And before you know it, the whole tower starts to fall over with all of you inside.
What?! The vamp spire is crumbling all around you.
You all must escape the falling vamp spire by descending, avoiding pitfalls and any obstacles
that you may encounter along the way.
I guess while lugging Chip Haney along with you, question mark?
I don't feel so good, gang.
Oh, and that's right,
Elga is currently hanging off of a ledge as well
after being shoved by Barney,
not by Barney, by Eddie.
I was like, do I, by the way,
see that locket on the ground?
It's shattered.
Well, it kind of like broke and the picture popped out.
It is still there.
Yeah, like on the ground,
close to the ledge where you are.
Can I just grab it and pocket it?
Yes, but you are still hanging.
So you'd be like,
you might want to try to find a way to clamber yourself up
first and then grab it.
Okay, I'll try to climb myself up.
Yeah, go ahead and make me a strength check.
You stronger now. I'm stronger.
Stronger.
20, 30, 20.
Yeah, you're able to heave yourself up over the ledge and you see the locket there and
I assume you want to go ahead and pocket that locket.
Yeah, pocket the locket.
Pocket that locket.
That sounds like a cool dance move.
Pocket that locket.
Pocket and locket.
Pocket that locket.
Speaking of cool dance moves, let's say we're going to roll initiative just so we have a
little bit of order
in what we're going to be doing here.
Just speaks volumes that guess things,
dancing's like fighting.
17, 20, 13, 11.
Pocket, that lock it.
A pocket, lock it, lock it, lock it, lock it.
Ba-rim-bum, ba-rim-bum.
The system is down.
So Chip has a 17, Elga has a 13,
Matide has 11, and Barney has 20.
The thing that we forgot to add in the recap
was that Elga bequeathed the cool Fang Frost to Chip.
Oh yeah, that's right.
It was a very cool moment.
And then he had a good day.
He had a great day and didn't hurt himself at all.
No.
We talked about that in the second one episode.
Yeah.
Did you tell him that I bribed you behind the scenes?
That was just between us.
Check your Venmo.
Elga's mom, in quotes, what is her status right now?
She's currently unconscious.
So yeah, that's an excellent question, Chris.
Besides the party, there is also Hugo, Eddie,
and the Countess up here, as well as various Svratu.
And what is their status?
They seem to be looking around.
Hugo had the highest initiative role,
so he begins making a break for it,
running out, trying to escape the Vamp Spider.
Next up is Barney, after Barney is Chip.
Wee.
I'm gonna start with, I'm gonna cast,
it's a new spell, Aura of Life.
It's one action and light preserving energy radiates
from you in an aura with a 30 foot radius
until the spell ends.
Aura moves through the use of non-new,
each non-hostile creature in the area including you
has resistance to necrotic damage
and its hit points maximum can't be reduced. In addition, a non-hostile creature in the area, including you, has resistance to Necrotic damage, and its hit points maximum can't be reduced.
In addition, a non-hostile living creature
gains one hit point when it starts its turn
in the aura with zero hit points.
Oh!
Okay, so it makes everyone around you
resistant to Necrotic and gives them one hit point
at the start of their turn, if they're at zero.
Yeah.
There's probably a better spell I could've cast,
but that's what I got.
It's gonna at least get me on my feet.
And everyone, anyone, anyone around who's non-hostile gets is back alive.
I see. So, yeah, in theory, then if the Countess starts her turn in that as well.
Yeah, and Stinker. Oh, yeah.
So Stinker acts on your turn.
So then Stinker would be up right now.
That's OK.
Anything else you want to do, Barney?
So Hugo is attempting to leave, right?
Yes, he is making a beeline for the door.
I'm going to use my bonus.
Would he take an attack of opportunity from us
by leaving us?
Or are we out of combat?
I'd say we're probably out of combat combat.
And Hugo has just for to build the world and to build out the description a little better.
Hugo has taken to the air and is flying out.
Huh? What does he fly like? Is he like a like, he's easy.
So he's a Batman?
Like a vampire.
So he turned into a bat?
No, like a vampire. Vampires fly.
Do they really? Yeah. I thought they'd have turned into a bat? No, like a vampire. Vampires fly. Do they really?
Yeah.
I thought they'd have turned into bats.
No, they can do that.
So, spatially, are we trying to go down the tower?
Unless you know a better way to get out of here.
Petit is thrilled to warp through a wall to leave us.
He just goes, mmm.
Because I could do my... I could go fly for one minute.
I will say, just as an FYI, follow up to that spell you cast, people have to start their
turn within 30 feet of you if they want to pop back up from zero.
So Chip is still on the ground until his turn.
And will remain on the ground if you go further than 30 feet away from him.
Can I pick up Chip?
Does that count as an action?
Normally, yeah, but I'll give it to you as a bonus.
A generous DM.
Well, I guess I don't need to if he starts right after me.
I was just thinking about if I was to fly away.
I'll use my telekinetic shove to pull back Hugo
and try and pull him back five feet towards us so he doesn't escape.
Just being real annoying to him, keeping him within range.
Yeah. So he has to make a strength saving throw.
What's the DC on it? 17.
All right. He is pretty strong.
Oh, I rolled the die and did that thing where it was on 17
and then it clicked over and fell. It went to a seven.
Yeah, he fails the save.
All right. So I pull him back five feet. He turns and bears his fangs and his to a seven. Yeah, he fails the safe. All right, so I pull him back five feet.
He turns and bears his fangs and hisses at you. Barney will, I guess, pick up or try and move towards the others that are injured.
So he's in around them so they can all heal.
Okay. And is that it?
Yeah.
Okay, Chip, it's your turn after Chip is Eddie Countess Elga.
Chip, you wake up from your little snoozy time.
You have one hit point now.
And much to your surprise, the entire vampspire is shaking and falling all around you.
OK, that doesn't stop the fact that I hate Eddie and I want him to die.
So is he around? Is he an eyesight?
Yeah, he's fairly close to you still. He hasn't acted yet. OK.
And Barney's picking me up or am I still on the ground?
You're still on the ground. You're still on the ground. How far away is Eddie? Probably 10 feet or so? I would guess okay
What the heck I'm gonna use the arm blade of blur bling. Just gonna give him a little stab little cut
Can you reach 10 feet away? Am I still prone? Yeah, you're laying on the ground. Okay, I'm just gonna then in order to get up
Yeah, my movement. Yeah, I'm just gonna, in order to get up my movement, yeah.
I'm just gonna shoot him with one of the crossbows then.
Alright.
Pachow!
23.
Believe it or not, that's a hit.
Believe it or not, I'm killing this dude.
7.
Yeah, damage.
Yeah, your crossbow flies through striking Eddie in the shoulder for 7 points of damage.
And then he dies?
He looks at it and then makes a sad face to you.
Oh, he probably has like a 600 HP.
We got him down pretty far.
Y'all put some hurt on him in that last episode.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, well then I rise, because this was all just from the ground.
As soon as I got HP back, I looked up, looked for Eddie, shot him.
Rise from your grave.
Call the ambulance, but not for me.
I love that meme.
And then because I have no movement,
I mean, that's pretty much it,
but I cast a really mean glare at Eddie.
Oh, I'm getting a correction here.
Thank you, Micah.
It only takes half your movement to get up.
So if you want to retcon that,
you could actually have struck him with your arm blade.
No, I think it's actually kind of cooler that I like the thing.
The first thing I do when I wake wake up is just pull my crossbone and sing.
It's funny if you actually hit someone else.
It like takes off of something and hits him back in the head.
But I also recognize when like I'm not doing well,
so I'm going to move towards Barney.
OK, the protection of Barney Farny and that's my turn
All right, that is chip. It's Eddie's turn Eddie is also
Going to book it and start running for the exit kind of ignoring you guys. Yeah, you run away you go you hide you
Baby, what do we get the chances jab? you already used your reaction right now my reaction
I thought you'd made an attack of opportunity on Hugo didn't you or my
Section yeah, I'm sorry. I thought I thought would all right cuz he was flying. That's right. Okay. Yeah my bad
I got a going on yeah, I don't think story wise they're ever going to let us kill Eddie here
Yeah, Eddie starts running by and you how are you gonna attack him Chris old faithful?
war hammer slash walker, walker hammer.
Yeah, you rear back with your walker hammer to take a swing at Eddie.
And as you do so, a swarm of bats descends out from the room and begins
fluttering around everywhere so you can make the attack roll, but make it a disadvantage. It seems like they're trying to escape
from the vamp spire as well.
This is the new bell.
Eat the bats.
Ozzy.
Meta game perspective,
there's going to be weird obstacles every now and then
as the vamp spire is collapsing.
And I rolled on the table
and this is the one that's happening right now.
It's just bad luck on the time.
Yep.
That was 12. Yeah, that's a miss.
Okay.
You got bad in your eye.
Gwano.
All right, yeah, so then you got bad in your eye,
and miss, and Eddie continues making a break for the door.
It's the Countess's turn. She wakes up.
I guess she has one hit point now, and she's a little woozy,
and gets to her feet, and looks around, and sees what's going on,
and she makes a beeline for El gets to her feet and looks around and sees what's going on and she makes a beeline for
Elga to make sure Elga's okay.
Elga, you're up and then after you is Matthea.
Okay, so I'm like just off the edge of where this thing was collapsing.
Right, and you've picked up your locket and the Countess is there with you.
Okay, and I see Eddie running away.
Eddie is running away, Hugo's flying away. They're both making a beeline to the door.
Okay, well I will rage.
Or would I still be raging from last time?
You probably would, yeah.
This is just like a continuation.
Right, because we just fell.
Okay, so I'm going to use my Bat-Hole Axe.
Okay. How far is Eddie from me now?
He's making a break for the door.
He actually is the one who shoved you down that took off running from there.
So I'd say he's probably about from where you are about 30 feet.
Okay.
I'm going to run up to him to maybe five feet away from him so that my axe could still reach.
Okay.
Yeah, you're able to catch up.
And I'm going to attack him with my Battle Axe.
I am going to miss, because that was a 12.
Yep, no good.
And I'm going to attack again.
All right.
That was like a batter going up to base
and he was like practicing a swing.
You gotta take the weights off of the Battle Axe
to get the true weight, the true feel for it.
I'm rolling so bad, I rolled a 16.
A 16 does hit.
It does. OK, cool. Yeah.
And that does eight points plus three with my new level up raging bonus.
Oh, so that would be an 11 points of damage.
And then I know this is kind of redundant,
but I'm going to use a bonus action to do bat barrage on Eddie
You just use the bats that are already there
Yeah, you redirect them you like have those lights like with the flashlights that are illuminated you like point like a plane you're directing
So for this one I could use a bonus action to speak a command word
So for this one, I could use a bonus action to speak a command word. The battle axe transforms into a swarm of bats that attacks the target for up to one minute.
When the swarm is killed or if the target is killed, the swarm turns back into a battle axe and falls to the ground.
Okay, so what is Elga's command word for summoning the bats?
For my command word, I'm gonna say...
Mmm... Bats!
So... yes. He gets now swarmed with more bats.
Alright, yeah.
If they're attacking the target, do they go when I go, or is that like at the end of the initiative?
They go when you go.
Hey, you know that thing that's called murmuration?
You know where birds and flying creatures all kind of do those cool...
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I bet that happens where like every bat in the whole thing follows Elga's bats. So she gets quite
Happens I also like to believe you know how like you're thinking like also when drones come together to make like a light show
Have you ever seen that before?
This is like they're making a giant axe in the shape
giant axe in the shape of a shaman. It's like a Looney Tunes bit.
Yeah, that's the most Looney Tunes thing ever.
Yeah, they're circling Eddie and he's swatting at him
and he looks at you and says,
Elga, you're driving me batty.
This is not time for jokes, Eddie.
You're going down, you're going to be killed by these bats.
He is going down indeed because the bats swarm him
and he falls to the ground unmoving.
What?
Then your bat, your swarm of bats reconvene into your bat-to-lax
and it clatters to the ground.
I don't want to get too excited because this is the third time we've downed Eddie
and then he keeps coming back.
Well, I'm also confused because it says if the target is killed,
the swarm turns back into a battle-ax.
So does that mean we killed him?
Your battle axe is on the ground there.
All right.
We killed him.
In between the tails.
Hey, other deaths have happened.
That's true.
Fair.
OK, well, that is a I guess I'll use the rest of my movement to go pick up the axe.
Yeah. And the Countess, you know, is staying by your side and says,
Hurry, let's run for the exit.
Everyone rolled me a dexterity saving throw.
With pleasure.
24.
Mine has advantage, doesn't matter.
A nine.
28.
That's a 14 for Barney, but also plus two to,
is Elga near me now?
Would she get plus two?
Yes, yes.
I don't know if it matters. Oh no, that would make me an 11. 24 for Chip, 11 for Elga near me now? Would she get plus two? Yes, yes. I don't know if it matters.
Oh no, that would make me an 11.
24 for Chip, 11 for Elga, 28 for Matide, 14 for Barney.
So Barney and Elga, well, I guess, Ollie,
the floor starts shaking again, violently beneath your feet.
Barney and Elga, you stumble,
you're knocked off of your feet,
you stumble down to your knees.
The floor begins crumbling out from under you. And once again, everyone's in danger of your feet, you stumble down to your knees. The floor begins crumbling out from under you.
And once again, everyone's in danger of falling in,
but you manage to save yourselves.
However, Eddie falls into the chasm
that is now open in the fresh fish.
I knew it.
It was too good to be true.
Countess Elga Matide.
Cool.
Could I grab a chip?
Yeah, you could do a little chipmunk action.
Chipmunk action chipmunk activate feel like the
Dude at one health point could use some assistance
And T posing I don't remember at all where I was on the map. I think I was fighting some sparrat to yes
kind of in the center of the capillary so how far to
kind of in the center of the capillary. So how far to, estimated wise, to pick up a chip?
Chip wasn't too far for me.
He was a little to the north doing combat near the dais.
He was probably 20 feet away.
Okay, I'll fly up the chip
and I'll just go up to Monaco.
Bonjour, your Uber is here.
Is that an ubered?
Ubered. Yeah, your Ubered is here.
I pick him up and if I double move, I can fly 65, so total of 130.
So 130 minus 20 is 110, so I can fly 110.
That I would assume gets us out of the building.
Yeah, you go 20 up, 20 back, 90 more.
That takes you out of the capillary, which is that temple area you're in, back into like
the main level of the thing.
Actually with that much movement, you could get back to the stairwell
leading back down to the cloth dread.
And I know I'm a passenger.
I know I don't have a say, but could we just kind of take a small detour
over the chasm that Eddie fell down so I could spit?
That's all I ask. That's all I ask. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, thank you. I was going to ask you what it sounded like.
Yeah, that works for me.
You are at the very top of the stairs,
leading down to the cloth strip from the thing pick.
Yeah, I'm gonna get away from this giant tower
that is collapsing on us.
I feel like that's what will kill us.
That is such a smart move.
Yeah.
And then as a bonus action,
I'm actually going to, I'm gonna do something.
I'm gonna drop, chip off gently to the ground.
I'm not like flying high and we're like in a stairwell,
so it's not like I can go very high.
And I'm gonna cast Astral Leap,
which basically means I go to Australia
till the beginning of my next turn.
Whoa, so it's like, wait.
There is a check if I can do it successfully.
Roll a D20 on a roll 11 or higher I go.
Okay, yeah, go for it, yeah. So it's casting times bonus action and it lasts for a minute and I can do it successfully. Roll a d20 on a roll 11 or higher I go. Okay, yeah, go for it. Yeah.
It's just casting times bonus action and it lasts for a minute
and I can do this check every time I have a turn for a minute.
So either Matide is gonna go to Australia to beat up Avena
or Avena is gonna warp back into a crumbling tower and die.
No, she stays. Banishment holds because it's not a...
I'm not doing a concentration spell.
But the person banished eventually comes back unless they're banished to their home plane.
Right. She doesn't come back for a minute.
Right. Not immediately, just at some point.
And I just cast that last turn.
Yeah.
So she'll come back right before this spell ends.
Yeah, I rolled a 19.
So basically, visually, go and grab a chip, take him to the stairwell, drop him off give him a little wink and then disappear from existence. Bye. Bye
Just goes
There's like a popping sound
Astral leap works is I can see what's happening in the in the real realm. It's all like
I'm in the upside down. I'm I'm where
I'm where Frodo goes when he puts the ring on.
Ah.
That's a better reference.
Ha ha ha.
I'm going to make a note here.
Avina gets to take a turn now.
Boom.
But she's not back yet, right?
No, but she's in Australia where Matita is now.
Is she going to come back with like a cocktail
and like one of those like late necklaces,
even though they probably don't do that in Australia, but still.
Unless she can travel 120 feet in her actions,
she can't catch up to us, so I'm fine.
Yeah.
She's gonna just get a brick dropped on her.
She'll probably just be confused most of her turn.
All right, is that it for you, Matide?
Yes.
Okay, back up to the top.
It's Hugo who continues his flying escape
from the crumbling vamp spire. Barney, it's your who continues his flying escape from the crumbling vampspire.
Barney, it's your turn after Barney's chip.
Everyone's gotten up, and he's going to try and summon a Celestial.
This is a fifth level spell.
It's powerful.
Yeah, and it lasts for one hour.
You call forth the Celestial Spirit.
It manifests in an angelic form in an unoccupied
space that you can see within range. The corporeal form uses Celestial Spirit stat block. When you
cast a spell, choose Avenger or Defender. Your choice determines the creature's attack in its
stat block. The creature disappears when it drops zero hit points. Creature is an ally to you and
your companions. I'll choose the defender and I think you mentioned it
You know, I just want to clarify your concentration drops to cast this so like your aura of life goes away
Yeah, yeah, and it's a large creature and it has flying and some say everyone hop on
Because it's a large creature so I imagine it can like support it's pretty big yeah large creatures are are big
I don't know if it could support everyone but we can deal with that when we get there.
Does it have a description?
It's just a celestial spirit that manifests in an angelic form.
So I think, Chris, why don't you describe?
What does it look like?
How do you picture that?
I imagine it will take the shape of Falcor the Luck Dragon.
Or if we want to keep it within our IP, a large purple warm,
a lot. Oh,
smush smush.
So yeah. And then that, that's my action.
And then I'll hop on it and try and get, I don't know, like, uh,
you're going to start making the rounds. Yeah. Yeah.
And then with my bonus action, I'll also cast a healing for poor Chip.
Well, how far away is Chip right now for me?
Chip is far. Chip is actually really far. Chip's not in the capillary anymore.
He's down at the top of the staircase going down to the claw strip.
Okay. Maybe I can't do that then.
I absconded.
Yeah. I'll get me and Stinker up on it. And then it can fly.
So I can have it like go and pick up the others.
Yeah, you can start going around.
They have to get on on their turn though.
Well, can it pick them up on its turn,
the Celestial Spirit?
I would say it can maybe pick one up
because it's like an action.
Okay, then I guess it would go
and I guess pick up Elga if Elga's willing.
Sure.
All right, yeah, you can fly over and pick Elga up.
I feel like there's still a lot to do here.
Well, yeah, I'm just trying to get out of the thing.
And then for Elga's mom, or mom, I keep doing the quotes,
can I use my telekinetic shove
to pull her up onto the celestial spirit?
You could shove her, but I don't think you could pull her
onto the celestial being. Okay, well then I won't don't think you could pull her onto the celestial being.
Okay, well then I won't do that.
Yeah, I'm just trying to get everyone rounded up.
Sometimes you can't do everything you want.
Yeah, all right, well then I'll just end my turn.
Okay, once again, as you're doing that,
the ground starts shaking violently.
Those of you who are still on the ground,
this doesn't affect Matide, this doesn't affect Barney,
and it doesn't affect Elga. It only affects Chip.
Hahaha!
Sorry!
Chip, roll me a Dexterity saving throw.
Oh, easy.
That's a...
Eight.
Um, hold on.
I have in my inventory my cool cool shoes, which these shoes have three charges
and regain 1d3 expended charges daily at dawn.
When you fail a dexterity saving throw while wearing it,
you can use your reaction to expend one of its charges
to succeed on the saving throw instead.
So I'm gonna do that.
Oh, I will say it's very lucky for you
because with all of the shaking going on, you know,
you're focused on trying to maintain your footing
and then something in the back of your mind tingles and you look up just in time to dodge out of the
way from large chunks of stone and rubble that land crushing
immediately for you were just a split second ago.
Slide to the left.
You could have been dead, Chip.
Again.
And just as a heads up, some of these like like that Dexterity
Saving Throw and some of these
lair actions, they're on a timer.
So the longer the turns take, the more often these negative effects are going to happen.
So try to optimize the turn so we can go through this with less, uh, less saves and less possibility
for death.
Okay.
That was Barney chip is Europe after chip is the Countess and Elga.
Do I have an eye on Elga's quote unquote dad?
He's gone. Okay.
Yeah, he's flying and he's escaping.
Then I'm already at the staircase.
Then I can just start continuing to make my way down.
Does that seem like the most plausible exit?
That's the only one you're aware of.
That's how you came up.
Okay, then I'll double move to just make as much progress
to get out of there as possible.
I want to get out of the vampspire stat.
Okay, yeah, you run down the stairs,
emerging on the clawstread.
I'm at noises, here you go.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
And as you come around the corner,
you know, coming out onto the clawstread,
the second level of the vampspire,
you see Benicia backed into a corner
surrounded by two Svaratu.
Oh, Benicia's still here.
Okay, then I take back my double movement,
unless that double movement was what got me to that point.
You just need one to get down.
Okay, then I'm gonna surprise attack one of them to help.
I'm assuming she's in danger.
She's been cornered.
Yes.
Well, she didn't make it very far, did she?
Wait, do a perception check.
Maybe they're shoving money in her face.
Yeah, this has happened.
You have advantage on attack roles against any creature
that hasn't taken a turn in combat yet.
And any hit you score against the creature that is surprised is a critical hit.
So that's the assassinate.
So I'm going to do it, I guess, do that.
And I'm going to hit him with my arm blade of the blur bling.
Is the 13 hit?
Wait, I have advantage, right?
I was about to say that. Yeah. OK.
Watch out. 24 hit. That hit that does it. Hit wait, I have advantage right? I was about to say that. Yeah, okay
24 hit that hit that does it. Okay, that's a
five on piercing plus
The arm blade blur bling has 24 acid damage
watch
One
You also get a sneak dice on this don't you? I... that's... I was getting to that. Yes!
Gus, you got to give him a chance.
Sorry, I'm just stepping all over your turn telling you what to do.
And because I'm level 9 now, I think I get an additional dice. So once per turn you can deal an extra 5d6 damage to one creature.
It's a good thing you remembered, Blaine.
Yeah, I know.
Wow.
I'm on top of it today, guys.
15.
Okay, so that's 15, 16, 21 points of damage.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You come up behind the Sphiratu,
and it never knows you're there
as you drop it to the ground and it falls unmoving.
Its friend turns shocked in horror.
And I go, whoogity boogity!
I am causing this earthquake!
Escape now or I will eat you!
Make an intimidation check.
Oh, God!
You have a plus 12 and you rolled a one.
Any other thing I would have passed that with flying colors?
I would say you probably have advantage on that
because it is a little scared right now.
Because I just dropped his friend. OK, perfect.
I also have the 25. The ground is shaking.
Yeah, it just turns around and books it and starts running away,
leaving you and Benicia there.
Ah, and then I heard she did.
leaving you and Benicia there. Ah!
And then, uh, I heard she do.
What does she do?
Yeah.
She's in the corner.
She's equally as afraid of me
because of our earlier encounter.
I help her to her feet and I say,
well, you didn't make it far down, did you?
We gotta get out, we gotta high tail it out of here.
Let's go, Benicia!
Yeah, she agrees.
She's ready to go.
Something about when Chip says the word go in earnest,
it's the best.
Goal! Benicia! She's ready. She's ready to go something about when ship says the word go in earnest. It's the best
Are you injured do you need a piggyback ride I will never say no to a piggyback ride
You could say no for this
Yeah, so now we got... Was that Gus or Benicia? That was Benicia, sure.
She's down for a piggyback ride.
Alright, so you begin giving a piggyback ride to Benicia.
It's the Countess's turn.
You made it clear she could get on as well, right Barney?
Yeah.
Yeah, she's gonna run over and hop on behind Elga on the Celestial.
Which means it's Elga's turn.
Okay, so I'm riding this thing with Barney and my mom? Yeah. Your mom. My mom? Question mark. Listen, adopted moms are
still moms we don't put quotes over it. Oh that's a fair point John. You're
right. I guess but also didn't she abandon in a way? That's a fair point
Chris. I also don't know the full story to that. I think that's a point, Barbara.
A lot of there's been a lot of lies and misconceptions.
It's true.
Happening here.
Also, she seems to be the only one protecting me
in this room full of my quote unquote family.
I just made an angel.
Is is there anything I need to do?
Because like if I'm on this thing that's headed out, right?
Is it heading somewhere?
Yeah, I mean, it's got to I gotta wait for its turn,
which was its turn was during my turn and then it can fly.
Because like who else is attacking us right now?
Right now, no one's attacking you.
I think everyone's trying to make a break for the exits
and try to get out of the vampire.
Make sure you attack somebody so your rage stays.
If you get hit by something, you take half damage.
That's a good point.
Were there any counts that were there that you didn't like
during childhood that you might want to get some revenge on?
I did say there were various Farratu also who were running around
trying to escape.
You got a projectile?
If there's a Farratu, yeah.
Could I throw my axe of the scarab at it?
Sure.
It's like a boomerang version.
Yeah. OK.
Did you get that in Australia?
Yeah, that was like carcass you yeah 15 that actually does hit us fraught you okay cool doing
swing or swing
10 plus 3 13 points of damage. Yeah, you toss your axe of the scarab and it goes and
Mames us fraught to as it's running out. It looks at you and just mouths
I'm just trying to run away. You just want to play hide-and-seek
I think I'm just gonna stay on this creature.'s taking us hopefully to safety. You got it.
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All right, it's Avina's turn.
Only Matid would see this because only Matid is the one in Australia, but you do see Avina
there or Vena there.
She's just laying there unconscious though.
Kick her, kick her while she's down.
Well Matid, it is your turn.
I think my turn ends or begins with me returning back. But I do get actually just to add to the O Piness
of Matide's movement.
It actually I could appear 10 feet from where I left.
So I get 10 more feet of distance.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
At the start of your next turn.
And when the spell ends, you appear 10 feet.
So yeah, just started my thing.
So I get to see her, I just go, hey.
And I've returned back to the regular plane.
And I guess I just do another book it.
Let's start off with like, I've done 10 feet.
Take me another 65 feet.
And what do I see Gustavo Tirola?
You go down the stairs and you see Chip
running past you with Benicia on his back,
running down the hallway in the cloth dread.
Oh my God.
We got a boogie.
Chip's being attacked by Benicia.
Yeah. Yeah. I attack Benicia yeah
they're fine then he's got he's got his own little buddy now we're following the
buddy system I got my buddies little kitty in my hoodie so yeah if I go 65
feet where's that take me, you remember the claustrid
was like that spiraling hallway that went up
when you were going up.
So that's the spiral.
You're running down a spiraling hallway going down.
You know, you start running past the hall
or running down the hallway and you run past the door
that you found Benicia behind,
then all the different doors that you explored
and didn't explore.
What about the door that I went in
and had a conversation with Vixi's partner?
Oh, that was the very first door.
So that would be at the very,
like right before you'd leave the Cawstread.
Yeah.
So you're not quite that far.
What if I double move?
If you double move, yeah, you could probably get there.
Okay.
Yeah, I mean, you would find there
and you could get to the door of count Vixi's house
Okay, wait, Joe
Was there something in there that you wanted? No money John looks so mischievous
Anyone on the ground which I think is chip and maybe my teeth make me a dexterity saving throw. Oh
I'm not on the ground. I'm floating
I'm flying this is all flying cuz that's the only that's the way I get this speed. Oh true I can't I can't walk at this rate. I rolled a nine so I'm gonna use my
last Charge from my sneakers of lost souls for the sidestep of second chances
Canonically can that be like the pumps on like old sneakers?
To hurry your turns up because if I fail another one I'm gonna
die.
So once again, your Spidey senses go off and you dodge out of some rubble and furniture
that's falling from above Chip.
But Matide, as you're going down the hallway, as you make one of the turns you come across a mob of
Battlers and sfrattu fighting over a chest that spilled hemo pieces all over the floor
How do I interject myself into this profitable situation it's a brawl you're gonna have to get in there and start throwing elbows and
Was a monk that was meant to brawl in close combat situations.
Darn. Okay. Does, does that happen before or after I do my double movement?
I would say before the double movement. Thank you. That's right.
I kept trying to egg to see if like my full movement would come to like a Benicia moment. Like what?
For the record, it's just because the timer went off right now that happens
right.
Then I get in there and
I mean
I don't have the visual
idea of what's going on that I'd imagine that Mateed would do whatever they can to like make their way into the middle of
It all and just shove as many of those pieces possible into their little little pouch
Let's let's do this make a strength check to see if you're able to shove people out of the way strength check
Oh, that's not good.
That's only a nine.
Yeah, you tried, but they're like,
everyone's really low to the ground
and they're crawling around,
clamoring over all of these emo pieces.
You're not able to pull any of them off.
Okay, that's fair.
Then what if this is what happens?
What if I roll my D20 now
and see if I get into the Australian plane,
which would then give me 10 feet of unhindered movement
to appear next to the hemopiece is my next turn.
Sure. But as a reminder, distance in Australia
and the material plane doesn't map one to one.
But the way that my spell works is I appear 10 feet.
I don't move there. I can appear 10 feet from it.
So, uh-
Yeah, we could do that.
Chip turns to Benesian says,
"'We're gonna die.'"
Don't worry, I will be able to pay for your medical bills.
I rolled an 11, so I go to the Australian Club.
Yeah, we're gonna resolve that on your next turn.
Okay, that is Matide Barney.
It's your turn after Barney's chip. All right, so this celestial spirit can fly 40 feet
So it I guess go towards I don't know if it makes sense to like leave the build like fly out of the building
Or like follow down it. How would you fly out of the building?
I don't know. You said it was like falling apart. So I don't know if there's like openings
No, there's there's currently no space especially because this is a large being.
It's really big. So then it'll fly everyone as far as it can out which would be I guess if it
double moves 80. 80. So yeah so you make your way you are down now at the beginning of the claustra
at the second floor where Chip first encountered Benicia and then yeah you can hear a ruckus down
the hallway of like people shouting and yelling. And did, yeah, you can hear a ruckus down the hallway
of people shouting and yelling.
And did we see Chip at this point?
Yeah, actually, you would see Chip.
He hasn't really started running yet.
He's got Benicia on his back.
Eels!
How far away is he?
You're pretty close, like, within 10 feet of each other.
All right.
I have one Channel Divinity
because of that one item I have left.
I can use it as a charge, or I can use a channel divinity,
and I'll cast Twilight Sanctuary, which
it grants 1d6 plus 9 temporary hit points on everyone's turn.
Ooh.
So I'll roll for mine first.
Do you roll it, or do you want me to roll mine?
You roll it on your turn.
Yeah, so it's which would be, so for me, that's 13. OK. And I'll do that for, do you want me to roll mine? You roll it on your turn. Yeah, so it's, which would be, so for me, that's 13.
Okay.
And I'll do that for, do you want me to,
can I just do that for Stinkert as well?
Yes, yes, because that same turn.
Then with my bonus action.
So just FYI, just so you know,
the hit points come in at the very end of your turn.
So if you do something that affects that,
you don't actually have those hit points yet
until the end of your turn.
Yeah, yeah.
Then I'm also gonna to with my bonus action.
I'm now close enough. I'm close to Chip, right?
Yes. Ten feet. All right.
Then I'm going to do healing word as my bonus action on chip,
because I do have a first level spell slot.
60 feet bonus action creature that you can see within range
regains hit points equals to one D four plus my spell casting modifier.
One D four plus five.
That's eight to chip.
Wee.
That's permanent HP or?
That's real HP.
Ooh, that good stuff, yeah.
And then that's, I guess that's gonna be my turn.
All right, that's it for Barney.
Chip, you're up.
Okay.
After Chip is the Countess of the Nelika. I'm gonna just, for Barney. Chip you're up. Okay after Chip is the
Countess of the Nelika. I'm gonna just my priority is getting Benicio to safety so
I'm just gonna keep moving keep running keep hustling. Yeah you're running down
the hallway down out the cloths dread.
That's not Chip had asthma. You put your headband on the red white blue striped one. That's the one.
And begin running down the hallway.
And you see a bunch of battlers and Sfratu fighting over
hemo pieces on the ground blocking your way.
It's like your old days at Yantford.
You're going to have to hurdle them, Chip.
Make a dexterity check.
I can do it.
Yeah, I'm going to hurl them.
I'm not even going to stop.
That is a,
11. I'm sorry, eight, eight.
Hold on, do I have a,
I might have some sort of advantage, right?
No, that's for the dexterity saving throws
and I'm all out of those bad rolls.
Eight.
This is different than hurdling at Yamford.
So you got weight on your back.
These people are, you know,
there's more of them than just a hurdle.
So you're not able to quite clear them far enough.
You jump them, but your foot just kind of clips them
and you stumble a little bit when you reach the other side.
You clear them, but you're a little off your feet
at that point.
I turn back and I say, brothers and sisters,
we must not give in to greed.
Save yourselves, save your lives.
Go.
Also, is anyone among you?
Quifly, Quifly!
Try his call.
Do the sound, do the sound. E'm gonna kick down the door by my firefighter
Instincts are kicking in kick down the door
And you see quickly trapped between two precarious columns on Ignis stone holding on to the ceiling
He looks at you and it was a panic
Talk at that point.
No, no we can't. We're speaking in a tradies battle to speak.
I put down Benicia and then I lift the Ignis stone off of Quifley like a mother lifting a bus off of her trapped child.
Yeah, make a strength check.
Okay. I hope this goes well
16 yeah, it's just like the old days being a volunteer firefighter you're able to you find some some debris and use it as a like a you know set up a fulcrum and
You're able to lift the columns off of quickly who gives you a big hug
And then I grab I hold on to him and then I grab Venicia and I run out.
What under each arm?
Yeah.
My babies.
Don't forget, you can also, if you want,
use cunning action to take dash
if you want to get even more movement.
Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna do that.
So then does that triple my movement if I double moved?
Or I guess that was my action.
That was your action, right.
Then I will dash to get further ground.
Exactly. You run out and you are now at the top
of the stairs leading down to the tail side.
I don't know what quickly looks like,
but I'm imagining he looks very much like,
like I'm imagining like Porky the pig
with like a really like rotund belly
and like really short too.
And you're carrying him,
and he's just like wobbling like,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
the ball of jello.
I do want to say, you went so far,
blame that you wouldn't get the temp HP.
Oh my God.
But he got some real HP.
You got the, yeah.
It's not about me, it's about the survivors.
I gotta save them.
Is that it for Chip?
Yes.
All right, it's the Countess's turn,
and I guess he's just along for the ride here
on the Celestial, Elga.
Can I?
Oh.
Can I, I don't wanna interrupt.
That's it for her turn, yeah, so go for it.
I'm looking for Marnie and my, they're battlers.
Like I'm asking the Countess.
The last time I saw them, they were in the Tales of Dock.
It sounds like we need to go to the Tales of Dock.
We must save your family, or my family?
I don't know.
I'm so confused.
No.
That's so sad.
Everyone except for Matide make a Dexterity saving throw.
Oh, what's going down on this one?
Let's go, Blaine.
Let's go.
23!
23!
Aw.
And 20.
Curse says.
So then as you all are running,
the walls begin crumbling
and jets of flame start shooting out from the walls.
But you all, I guess maybe can hear the walls crumbling
and you're able to dodge out of the way at the last second
before the flames would have burned you to a crisp.
Well, I guess Chip's fire resistant.
So maybe he would have just taken half.
I just look and there's ashes in my hands
from where it's been done quickly.
That's dark.
All right, that was the Countess Elga.
So we're still on this thing.
I mean, you could jump off if you need something
you wanna do, I was just trying to...
Well, we're trying to get down, right?
Yeah, and so we're still it can move 80 feet on its turn if it double moves
I guess I could too technically so cuz my walkin speed is 40
I don't want to don't feel like you need to stay on it if you like, okay, could I?
hop off and
Grab my mother down the countess?
Yeah, she's on there with you. Yeah.
Could I carry her off of it and like start running down?
Yeah, absolutely. She says she comments,
Elga, you've grown so much. You've gotten so strong.
Although I've always been this strong,
you just I've never tried to pick you up before,
so you have not been witness to my strength.
It's quite impressive. Oh, thank you. Yes, thank you not been witness to my strength it's quite impressive thank you yes thank you I love to impress and then she starts
running downstairs you carry her do you also join in like you give a piggyback
ride I'll just carry her like over my shoulder you got it and I will double
move so it would be 80 feet okay Okay, yeah, you would get enough movement then to where you essentially catch up with Chip as well
where you all are about to begin your descent down to the tail of the dock.
And I'm holding my mom over my shoulder like this.
Look Tim, we are both volunteer firefighters!
Twins!
She doesn't pose twins and like shifts her mom around
to where she's like flying.
You do that thing we got, like you lift your stand
on one leg, the other one's kind of like kicked up,
your head's kind of conked to the side.
Yeah.
And then I will end my turn there.
All right, Mateed, you are up.
I appear where the hemo pieces are.
Yeah, you appear where the hemo pieces are
with everyone else.
Make a dexterity check to see if you're able to quickly scramble and grab a bunch of hemo pieces.
Okay.
Don't know if they'll have much value out of here.
There's probably an exchange thing on the way out of Vania.
22.
Yeah, you're able to begin quickly scrambling, grabbing hemo pieces,
and you're able to scurry and grab nine hemo pieces and shove them into your pockets. Okay, as my second attack for my action, I grab for more hemo pieces and you're able to scurry and grab nine hemo pieces and shove them into your pockets.
Okay, as my second attack for my action,
I grab for more hemo pieces.
Make another dexterity check.
Okay, where'd my dice go?
There it is.
Can't tell that I'm shaking my head.
Yeah, that one's a 21.
All right, yeah, you reach around even more
and grab another 15 hemo piecesces for a total of 24.
Wow, you're rich. I'm doing I'm doing pretty well.
I'm doing pretty well.
I mean, 15 plus nine plus the three I got from my best friend.
And they're like, I'm doing good.
The Svaratu and battlers all begin by hissing at you.
And that is a lesson to you to be fighting over money when there is a disaster.
Now, everyone had to the closest fire exit.
You're lecturing them on the morality of looting.
I am teaching them out what they should be focusing on right now,
or they will turn into me, a ghost.
There's a little bit of also like fluctuation in the accent that you're doing.
That sounds like a little bit like almost not like German.
But I'll let you know Barbara.
I have been strictly doing a French accent
this entire campaign and I've never wavered for a day.
Never wavered.
Never wavered.
I'm just gonna roll for deception on that.
They look at you as you tell them to head for the fire exit
and they look at the wall where the jets of fire
are shooting out of and they point at that
and they say, fire exit.
What's the intelligence modifier on these idiots?
Not very good.
Negative four.
Get out of the building.
And I actually have Visage of the Astral Self
going still right now.
And so I'm glowing and very intimidating.
Make an intimidation check.
With advantage, cause I have my thingy.
Intimidation plus three, that's only fourteen.
No, I get advantage.
That's actually twenty-four.
Okay, yeah.
Uh, they all begin scrambling and running.
And then I grab more hemo pieces.
Oh my god.
You...
I don't know if you have more action for that.
This is not a bonus action or anything.
No, no, no.
I cast flurry of blows and... You begin punching the hemo pieces. I'll leave, I'll leave, I'll of blows I've killed this joke okay I'll I
can move one move action so that'd be 65 feet yeah and then you can move 65 feet
I can fly 65 feet my movement is 40 the I'll give you a downside not that this really is a downside
But when I turned level 9 the only bonus to that level up other than HP and like some
I think like a key point was uh, I now have even better
Movement where it's just I like uneven terrain doesn't affect my running speed as much in my I'm like well
I don't I don't need that so I got a doesn't help me anything at all ability for level 9. Oh
Yeah
I say that as I travel 65 feet and then
Disappear out of existence to the Australian plane. I think that new ability also you also allows you to move across liquids on your turn
Yes, that's the thing.
Huh?
Yeah, it's like, it is kind of powerful.
It is, except that I have a passive ability where I float.
That's why, that's like as a ghost, that's what I do.
Damn it, it would look cooler if you could run across water.
Yeah.
Like one of those little lizards.
Yeah, with the high legs. Love this. Yeah. Like one of those little lizards. Yeah. Yeah.
With the high legs.
Yeah. All right.
Yeah. So you make your move and you
catch up to everyone at the top of the
stairs leading down to the tail.
So dark unarmored movement improvement.
You can move along vertical surfaces
and across liquids on your turn without
falling during the move.
There you go.
Good stuff.
I can walk up the walls.
Yeah. All right.
Spider.
Matisse Spider. Does whatever whatever is sorry. I'll stop
Yeah, is that it for spider machetes turn display need to roll a dexterity check since I took so long. Yeah, probably
Done all right that goes back up to the top Barney
I think you're it's only you and stinker on the Celestial at this point. Yeah.
It'll double move down that way towards the Tales of Dock.
Yeah, so you would get to the top of the stairs leading down to the Tales of Dock.
And who's around? What's in the area?
You're there with... I think the whole party is now caught up and is at that spot.
Okay. Including Chip?
Yeah. The whole party.
Okay, well then, oh yeah,
it'll double move, Barney
then jumps off and then
double moves further.
Okay, yeah, so you are able to
then get down to
the Tales of Dock. And yeah,
everything's in disarray, there's battlers running
everywhere. I'm looking for Barney!
Barney! Make
a perception check. Remember when you
come down you got to go down a little bit of hallway, go up some stairs. It's
it's kind of winding. So we know what they look like too because he pointed them out
to us at some point. Correct I think yeah you all did. Yeah is it 21? You don't see
Marnie, Samson or Titus here. Can I grab someone or like ask someone who's running by?
Yeah, you grab a battler by the shoulders.
What do you do?
Where's Marnie?
Tell me where Marnie is.
She's a battler.
Uh, Marnie, Marnie, Samson, and Tidus, they're in the bestiary.
We gotta run.
With Hoofer, I assume.
No, Hoofer's at a farm upstate, I swear.
It's accurate. And in the bestiary. No, Hooper's at a farm upstate, I swear! I forgot to note!
It's accurate.
And in the bestiary, okay.
I don't know how far I am from that, but I assume that's my...
Just look at your map.
...turn.
Yeah, you're not gonna be able to make it there.
Remember, you're gonna have to go down, pass through, like, the barracks kind of thing,
pass through the commissary, and then eventually on the other side of that is where you'll run into the bestiary.
So you'll probably get there.
If you double move on your next turn, you should get there.
All right. I like how they all know where people are. Even though it's. So you'll probably get there. If you double move on your next turn, you should get there. All right.
I like how they all know where people are.
Even though it's a song.
Trying to be helpful.
Yeah.
I'll tell you what, since we're trying to,
we don't have to keep the space one for one,
since we're all running an escape.
I'll say you'll be able to get there on your next turn.
All right.
And then the Celestial Spirit looks at Chip and goes,
and like touches him.
And then it does healing touch to Chip.
And it heals 2d8 to Chip.
Where does it touch like on his forehead?
Pulled my nose, pulled my nose.
It boops him right in the belly button.
So that's 2d8 plus the spell casting modifier that's 12. Oh, sorry the spells level
Yeah, sorry, I read that wrong and I cast it at fifth level. So I guess that's plus 5 2d8 plus 5. Yep
17. Yeah
Thank you celestial one. What perfect timing everyone roll a dexterity saving throw
12 10 21 I have an inspiration die though
Wait, can you know before you use an inspiration die?
I think normally we rule you can't know for instance you can for lucky, but you can't know for inspiration die
Correct and then whichever I get to choose whichever or I have to use the encepo.
We'll see you can choose.
Using it.
Oh, thank God.
That's a 19.
Okay.
Okay.
So Matisse is obviously in Australia.
Elga and Chip.
Were you in Australia?
Yes.
You're back now.
No, it'll last for three more turns after this.
Yeah, it keeps like phasing back and forth.
Yeah. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
Elga and Chip, you hear a noise behind you
and you turn around just in time to see a swarm of rats
running down the hallway. Rats!
Trying to run out from the vampire.
And it's like, it's almost like flowing water.
They begin running down the stairs.
Barney is meanwhile focused on talking to the battler,
trying to find Marnie so he doesn't hear them coming.
So from behind you Barney,
just like a wave of rats hits you in the back
and begins knocking you down to the ground.
I think Chris is laughing.
Yeah, he takes a little,
wah, because last time I served for blood,
but this time I'm- Wipe out! Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- Oh my god. Do that in a private tab. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a dirty 20 on my strength check, but I'm also if I could use the rat wave to go to go further.
So you manage to keep your keep your feet roll.
How would you just out of curiosity, how would you ride this form of rats?
What do you have? Well, here's what I would do, is I would take my shield.
I was hoping you would say that.
That's exactly what I was thinking.
I take my shield and then slip it down below me
and then dun dun dun.
So it's like in Lord of the Rings when Legolas
surfs on his shield going down the stairs,
except you're doing it on a swarm of rats.
Hopefully not crushing them beneath you.
Make a dexterity check.
Let's just see what happens.
Ugh, 19.
Wow.
I always know it's good if I hear Chris go, ugh.
Ugh.
Yeah, you're able to get the shield down
and it begins moving.
I just need, I'm not trying to block you here.
I just need to make a roll to see if you crush all the rats
Or if they're actually able to sustain your weight
They are heavy with a lot of gear be the saddest thing ever
You throw the shield down and it begins moving only for about three or four inches
And then it just crushes to the ground with a sickening squishy
Well, you know they'll come back with no never mind I lost my concentration
They've come back with one HP, but I lost that
Yeah, it was a good try. It was a valiant effort. I tried the dice didn't work out in your favor
Thank you. Yeah, who went last I got distracted by that was it?
I think it was
me
Barney Barney did go last.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So me.
So Chip, it's your turn.
Okay.
It sounds like we're all going to the was the Tales of Dock also, you have people you're carrying.
So I don't know if it necessarily makes sense for you to get more like.
Chris almost had hostages there.
I heard that too.
Gus had a look on his face.
If there is an exit, yeah, I agree.
I'm going to try to take my hostages out of the.
Yeah, you emerge on the tails of dock and it's just madness.
It's just, you know, people running everywhere.
But you remember you were able to retrace your steps and you start running,
making a beeline for the exit.
OK, so I'll double move.
And with my bonus action dash, like a triple move.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, you begin running through, trying to make your way to the exit.
I'll say you're most of the way there.
Make me a perception check chip.
Okay.
Oh, also when I upgraded, I brought my perception up.
So now I'm at a zero instead of a minus one.
Ooh, fancy.
That is a, God, I'm still terrible at perception six.
Okay, that's fine.
Anything else you want to do?
Take another look around.
Did I miss anything?
No, I guess not.
No, I'll just, I need to end my move.
Yeah, that's good.
Gotta get my hostages out.
Okay, good, I did set my timer.
Calling up hostages. The Countess good. I just set my timer. Call like a mouses.
The Countess, I guess she's got your back since you're holding her with her feet in
front of you and her face facing your back.
She's keeping an eye out for any trouble behind you, Elga.
Thank you mother.
Thank you.
And it's your turn, Elga.
Okay.
So now what's going on?
Are the rats still around?
Are we what's going on here?
They've run past you,
they're downstairs now in the tail sit-off.
Okay.
You're still at the top of the stairs.
Okay, I'm gonna do a double movement
to get as far down as possible.
You run down and you see Barney standing on his shield
with blood oozing out from under it.
Gross.
On the blubber.
You're a gross man.
On the under...
Come on, get on, ride the rats!
You're not sure what that's about.
Hop on!
When Elga sees that, she gets a little rumble in her stomach.
Oh, so shrugged.
Yeah, you get a rumble, but you keep running and you make your move.
You exit beyond the barracks and the commissary and you keep going.
So you make your double move.
Elga, make me a perception check.
And you've caught up to Chip at this point.
It's only a 10.
Yeah, you and Chip are caught up.
You think on your next turn, you both can probably get out of here. OK.
And could I look around to see if I recognize anyone else who like friendly
or like we should be helping get out of here.
That was a perception check.
Oh, okay.
I meant.
I was gonna say, because I failed on my turn,
if you could check on Quifley and Benicia
to make sure they're still alive.
I'm sure they're fine.
You got them, right?
Yeah.
Did you lose your hostages?
Gus, did I?
Oh.
Oh no.
As far as you know, yeah, you still got him. Question mark.
All right.
Is that it for you, Elka?
Yes.
Okay.
Mateed, I assume you re-pop into the material plane.
Yes.
I did.
I did 65 feet from my, uh, Hemo pieces.
Yeah.
Yeah. I think we said you were at the top of the stairs.
You had caught up.
Everyone was at the same spot.
Why did 65 feet after the Hemo pieces thing?
So did that, okay, okay.
Then if, uh, let's do the thing where I go one movement.
Where does that leave me?
Yeah, that would take you down a little past Barney,
into the next room, just beyond that.
You're like almost caught up with Chip and Elka.
Okay, this is a race, right?
We're all racing.
That's how I see it.
It's a race, I am winning.
So then if I'm there, do I need to take a look around
or can I just go another double movement?
Oh, it depends.
If you were gonna move,
I was gonna ask you to make a perception check.
I'll move.
Yeah, make a perception check. I will do a perception check, which I am proficient at.
Excellent.
16.
Yeah, you're almost caught up to Chip and Elga here in the bestiary,
and you notice that you can see out of the corner of your eye in one of the cages,
you see Marnie, Samson, and Titus.
Oh!
And they're cowering in a cage as ravenous animals are trying to get at them and force their way inside to the cage
Oh, okay. How many animals three three?
Guess what a number is prepared to say
Truly a number written in the module
It's fine, it's a lot. It's a lot going on.
It's improv. Sometimes you just gotta, you kind of make stuff up and you see what happens.
Yeah, that's the rule of improv. Yes and three.
Chris tried to surf rats.
Yeah, could I, uh, so did I get to the bestiary with my first movement?
Yes.
Then OK, so then I can attack these any mouths.
Yes, I would assume. OK, cool.
Yeah, I'm going to just hit him with a good old spear, spear pokey.
Do it. A spear of the Spear Baker.
Go Spear your Baker.
That's a 29. That hits.
OK, I just think of the the iron golems now. That's a 29. That hits. Okay.
I just think of the the iron golems now whenever I use someone you whenever you use your spear
I think of the iron golems from stinky dragon adventures.
So much liquid.
Fluid, disgusting.
Two plus seven nine piercing damage.
Yeah, you pierce an unaware wolf and it falls to the ground
And there's two more two more. Okay, then i'll do a flurry of blows and do an
unarmed talon strike that one's a dirty 20
That hits that one does where's my honor for plus five. does ten ten yeah you hit a tiger and
just watching your face cycle through animals really quickly what's gonna be a tiger yes
that makes me very sad they're my favorite animal why would that be all the way out here
i mean they had a bear, they had a goat.
They're getting, they got a home of ants.
All kinds of stuff.
Yeah, that one's a 16 for another strike on the,
on what animal, Gus?
This one is a rhinoceros.
Oh!
What the heck?
What is going on here?
Does a 16 pierce a rhinoceros?
Yes.
Okay, and that one does, oh, that is max damage.
What is it? Plus five, 11.
11, yeah, the rhino falls down as well, unmoving.
First looting, now poaching.
Golly, Madine.
I'm saving these people
who are apparently important to the old man.
A battler runs up to the tiger and says,
Tony, what did they do to you? Oh my God. Oh no. I turn to the batt man a battler runs up to the tiger and says Tony what did they do I turn to the bat let I go I'm gonna send him to the Australian plane
where you will be taken care of by a cat man but will he be will he still be part
of a balanced breakfast yes it'll be great. Okay. It's funny because it's a, they would drink the
blood. I assume of these animals. Oh yeah. They did. Yeah. You know, some people they,
they make, they do make friends with the livestock. You shouldn't do that. Don't make friends
with a livestock. If you're going to do that, don't name them. Don't name them. He did.
Yeah. I fling the door open and I go, bulls door. Come with me. If you would like to get
out of this fire, they look at you. They they remember you they met you not that long ago and
they're you know they're still very skittish but obviously you know that
there's a lot of danger so they start emerging from the cages okay I shoo them
along and we don't go anywhere cuz I'm done with my turn okay that comes up to
Barney barn I assume you move Barney I won't and also I don't go anywhere because I'm done with my turn. Okay, that comes up to Barney. Barney, I assume you move Barney.
I won't and also I don't go to the Australian plane.
Okay.
I think first Barney's like, come on Rats,
and then looks down and notices.
I think the Celestial will double move,
pick up Barney, take him as much as he can
and then Barney will then continue running
and I don't know if that takes him into the yeah I think after one move by the
celestial being you would be in the bestiary and you you come in just in
time to see Mateed opening a cage letting Marnie Sampson and Titus out and
the three of them you know stepping over the carcass of a tiger oh my god Tony no
Everyone make a dexterity saving throw
Do I have to if I'm floating?
Yes, you should as well 22 out there just because 24 I can't say no to you. This is just role. I just can't
16 26 I get plus 2 to whoever two people need it. Probably, I think I'm the lowest.
Yeah. And maybe countess,
bomb broth if she needs it.
Well, it's a good thing you got that, Elga,
because where you were standing just a second ago,
a huge piece of stone falls and crushes the ground,
narrowly missing you.
If you hadn't had a plus two,
you'd be taking some ouchy damage on your head right now.
Thank you, Barney, wherever you are.
I'm right here.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you.
I'm right behind you. I'm right behind you. I'm right behind you. I'm right behind you. I'm right behind view. So Barney, you see Marnie, Samson and Titus here.
Marnie, get the boys, get on the stage.
Do they like, I know they don't know who.
Yeah, they're scared, but you know, they do see this as an exit, right?
A speedy way.
So they're gonna, she's gonna, you know, help the boys up and then clamber up on top
of the celestial with you. then real quick I see Hoover
anyway no Hoover's in Australia check it I was checking I think Marty we just do
a double look around just in case his fourth family member his family who he's
been missing for thousands of years and this animal that he knew for about 10 minutes. The goat. When everyone hated.
And then the celestial being I guess would double move.
Well, he did one move to get here so then he would continue its move.
The second part of its double move.
Yeah.
I like how this celestial being who is like in theory like a deity of some sort,
it's just a glorified uber.
It's an uber pool. It's picking up people and dropping them off along the way.
And I want to while passing, I want to touch Elga. Elga, you're still you're on your own.
I'm with I'm holding my mother.
I touch Elga and cast freedom of movement, which is you touch a willing creature for the duration
and targets movement is unaffected by difficult
terrain and spells and other magical effects can either reduce the target
speed nor cause the target to be paralyzed or restrained.
The target can also spend five feet of movement to automatically escape
from non magical restraints and being underwater imposes no penalties.
So it's just like, yeah, you can just move quickly.
And if you're restrained, you just spend five feet of movement to get out of it.
Yeah. OK. And no difficult terrain. So cool. Yes
I'm imagining his touch is just a pat on the head
Flying by maybe it's more of a slack
Yes, that's it okay Barney so you're at that point you're pretty much at the exit. You're almost, you're just about there, Barney.
Chip, you're up.
Double move to the exit.
Get to the exit.
Gotta save my people.
You're pretty much there as well,
along with the people who are carrying Quifly and Baricia.
I run through the exit,
and as I run by the guard, guard goil, I say,
Stalker!
And then I keep running through the drawbridge.
You laugh to yourself,
and then look over and see that the gargoyles are split
into three pieces broken with the party.
All right, yeah, you all, you know,
catch up to each other, you all get to the exit,
more or less at the same time.
And as you're getting to the exit,
there you feel one super violent tremor under your feet,
stuff starts falling all around you.
Everyone take, make a dexterity saving throw.
He said, everyone take.
Everyone take.
Well you don't get the damage automatically.
You might make it.
I know I'm just saying Gus, Gus was uh, he's putting his wishes out there before the ask.
You gotta manifest it.
21. Gus.
Put your roll blade. I rolled a one.
Because I thought I was gone.
I thought I was gone!
Arnar. Well you are ha ha ha. Arnar.
Well, you are just in a different way.
Arnar.
I give a plus two.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Well, I had a plus six, that's seven, but I-
I don't think it'll do anything more.
I thought I got out.
Matide, what about you?
19.
Oh, it's a really is only a chip, huh?
All right, big pieces of stone start falling.
Ahhhhh!
Chip's also probably gonna die.
35 points of damage.
The earth thunderously trembles as you struggle and scramble to safety,
but despite your best efforts, the entire tower comes crumbling down onto all of you with a crunch.
Oh wait, you look up to see a hulking crystalline golem holding up the collapsing wreckage.
What are you doing to Mold?
Go, Tunigem. Mold save you.
It's a good boy.
The golem shudders and the weight of the tower causes his crystalline body to begin to crack and fracture like glass.
No, Mold!
Mold, no!
Mold, be free!
And with one final push the Mold sucks you all outside and
Mold!
The vampire plummets into the earth and a billow blanket of dust and debris fills the air.
And Mold is gone?
Everyone make a perception check!
Mold!
Worst perception check ever.
16.
1 for 6.
Dirty 20.
18.
I need to find a mold.
Elga, you manage to crawl out from beneath some debris but struggle for a minute or two
to find any familiar faces amidst the devastation and the detritus.
Mother?
Mold?
Everybody?
Barney and Chip, you're blinded by the dust, but you feel around for a safe path, and as
you're doing so you find crystalline fragments of gemstones.
And you reach the edge of the dust cloud and find crowds of fallen Vanians wrestling to
their feet among shrapnel and rubble.
You spot the rest of the party and you're able to lead them to safety.
Mateed, on the periphery of the village, you spot a few skulking silhouettes running away
from view down the mountainside.
And in the far off distance you hear a faint whistle
What's the whistle? I don't know a train. You're not you're not quite sure what it is. Can chip grab
I don't know the anatomy of like Mould and like crystalline given creatures
But I wanted to grab some pieces of mold to see if there's any way to like rehabilitate his
Spirit, you know
He wants to grute this guy yeah i want a tiny mold you collect a few crystalline gemstones and look at them you're not sure if you know how to
do it right now but maybe with some research you can figure it out yeah the countess who's right
by you elga begins coughing a bit don't don't, Elga. I'll be fine.
But we can't stay here.
If there's any chance that Count Von Breath or Eddie
survived all this, then we have to find them and stop them.
And then she reaches deep into her cloak
and pulls out a lustrous piece of silver.
There is more at stake than some broken Vanyan vows.
She flashes the piece of silver at you,
and you see it's a pin with a familiar sigil of
a scabbard with an S wrapped around it.
Where are Keith?
She looks at Chip.
Please, I beg of you, no one can know who I work for or my mission will be for nothing.
Carol's mission will have been for nothing.
We must get to Fonoloc as fast as possible.
You hear footsteps quickly approaching from behind as she furtively stows her pin.
There you are. You turn around and see the Alchemists Francesca and Hegzel and the mummy.
Think more you all survived.
I don't know what happened up there but something definitely happened out here and I don't just
mean the tower.
Before the earth tremors we all noticed that the motor blood around the tower suddenly
dried up.
Just like that.
I can't explain it.
Chip, the Countess gives you a knowing look
and mouth something to you.
Make a perception check.
Oh my God.
It's okay.
You got this.
It's an eight.
Ha ha ha.
Can we help him in that somehow?
Just for Chip.
If you want to physically mouth it to me,
I want to see if I can...
What the hell did you just say?
Nope. Ha ha ha. I'm gonna say it, I can. What the hell did you just say? No,
I'm going to myself and I'm going to say it. Okay.
This game is cool. No, no, no, no. Blake episode. Uh, uh, uh,
what do you hear? Maybe at least one of those words with an eight.
She's not saying it. She's just mouthing it. Oh God, it's gotta be something about the medicine man.
Alchemist? Yeah, pharmacist.
And then, okay, so Chip responds subtly and he goes,
What?
No, like, what?
What?
She kind of furrows her brow and puts her head in her hand.
Benicia steps out from, or like she frees herself from your grasp chip and says,
Oh, thank you for freeing me.
And you know, she's got dust all over her and she begins shaking it off.
And you know, once again, you see Benicia, the young human girl with olive
complexion, brunette hair, hazel eyes and full eyebrows.
All of you make a wisdom check.
See, you guys told me not to do wisdom.
Or history. Don't worry. I got You guys told me not to do wisdom. Or history.
Don't worry, I got it covered, Barb. That's Nate.
Nat, 20, 25.
21.
Barney and Matide, you look at each other, and then look at Benicia, and then look at each other again.
And then, you know, you look at Robert, and you find yourself looking back and forth between Benicia's eyes and Robert's eyes.
Not only are they both hazel, but they both have the same golden ring of pigment around
the irises.
But the coincidence, that's so cool.
Benicia's Wolfman's daughter, but also Wolfman was in a relationship with Francesca.
Francesca.
Who is the alchemist's wife.
Yeah.
So is this like a literal love triangle?
There's some polyamory going on here.
I mean, hey.
Barney, make a perception check.
Separate from the other one.
23.
You see Stinker get real antsy and then bark
and start running up to Marnie and the boys
and licking them with his bony tongue.
You see Marnie shaking her head and blinking her eyes,
and you notice a bruise on the side of her head.
But something else strikes you.
Her belt is unlocked and lying on the ground.
Marnie looks down at her waist.
Oh, my head is spinning.
Where am I?
You're in Vania.
Marnie, I know you don't remember me
and I probably seem crazy,
but my name is Marnie and I'm your your husband or at least I used to be.
Barney? Is that really you? You remember me? Of course Barney. Everything is fuzzy
but it's it's coming back. Barney, you... You look...
How long has it been?
Too long.
Barney, boys...
I'm so sorry.
I... I should never have let them take you.
I... I was just...
I froze...
Because I was scared.
And then...
You were gone.
And I promised myself that I'd get you back I
studied holy magic I became a cleric and I trained every day to rescue you every
day then it was weeks and then months and did years every year I got ready to go after you, but I always convinced myself that I wasn't ready.
That I needed more training. The years, they just... I don't know.
Honeybee, I...
You don't have to say anything, Marnie. I know I'm a coward and that I don't deserve you.
Or the boys, or anyone.
I understand if you want nothing to do with me.
Marnie sprints forward and wraps her arms around you with an embrace warmer than all
the sunsets that you've been apart.
I never gave up on you, Barney Farney.
And you never gave up on us.
It doesn't matter how long it's been.
You did it, honeybee.
We're together again.
Barney begins to weep as he holds her tighter
than he's ever held anything in his life.
Marnie's gaze turns to Elga,
and after a moment, a single tear trickles down her cheek.
Oh, Kaliope.
Kaliope. What? Is that my name?
Barney, you found her too. You found our Kaliabe. I thought we'd lost her forever.
Elga, you notice the Countess looks down at you, and you think you see her eyes getting misty.
I'm afraid I'm somewhat in the dark about this as well. I was always under the impression that I was a mother,
but I would not put it past Hugo to spin a web of lies and deceive us all.
That being said, I would never want to stand between a mother and her daughter,
but I'm afraid this whole reunion must be put on hold.
I am needed. We are needed elsewhere.
It must make haste to find a lock at once.
The Countess wipes her eyes, dusts herself off, and starts marching southward.
Could, uh, Elga run after her and embrace her and say...
Even if you're not my real mother, I will always think of you as my mother.
At least one of them. Because I will love you forever no matter what.
Aww.
Her eyes get really teary, they well up, and uh,
she, you know, gets down on one knee and then wraps her arms around you and holds you really tight.
Okay, we got to get a move on now, let's go!
The rest of you are welcome to follow if you wish, but there is no time to wait.
Chip joins the hug and says,
What did you mouth to me earlier?
Okay team, we must go. We must save everybody and complete our mission. And I'll go like, does the whole like, come on gang, like the big, the big waving arm. Yeah. Sorry.
My brain just went to when you said that I was like, that's right. Our mission of clearing
our names of murder.
Oh, it's so much more than that. That's what I mean. It's kind of it's kind of balloons from there.
Our multi-leveled mission that has come from many different things.
Side quest and whatnot.
I leave Barney and Marnie and everyone to have their moment.
And then I join Elga. Yeah, I join. I join.
Also, at this point, like, what does Elga actually know?
Like, she obviously realizes that everything has been a lie and that she's
actually Barney and Marnie's daughter, Kaliope.
But like, does she, is she starting to remember anything or is it still kind of like?
If you guys stole it when you were a baby, you wouldn't remember anything.
Yeah, it's still not clear. You don't remember it very well. You know, actually I say you don't remember it at all
I'd say as she's walking she keeps kind of glancing back to look at Marnie and the other boys
Can I have a side with Matide? Yeah, you can do your sidebar chip and Matide
Yeah
I I realize that there's a lot of like reunions happening, like mother daughter and husband, wife and families
and all that stuff.
And I kind of pulled Matide to the side
cause they're also not having a part of the reunions.
And I'm just kind of like, it's kind of, it's beautiful.
I'm glad everyone's getting back together,
but I really miss my wife.
And I'm really sad.
Can I have a hug Matide?
I'm just, I'm just having a hard day.
I give him, I give him a big old hug with all six of my arms. Oh, that's a solid hug.
It's Mateed.
Mateed's attacking, Chip!
So you all begin walking,
and then after a few hours of trudging down the mountainside,
you're already aching bones and fatigue feet pound with pain in every step.
The high noon half-sun peeks out from behind what was a relentless curtain of
Vainion clouds. Everyone make a constitution saving throw.
The emo pieces. We forgot to trade them in.
I was too busy hugging you and not telling you about.
You've got souvenirs now from your trip to Vainia.
And who knows, you could change them at the bank back home.
You get a bad exchange rate,
but you know, it's better than nothing.
Just don't do it at the airport.
No.
Pen on my constitution saving through.
18.
18.
23.
Elga, maybe it's from carrying the countess earlier,
the weight of all of this that's going on.
You just feel exhausted from this long walk
and the countess looks at you, Elga.
I know you're pain and we will rest soon enough, exhausted from this long walk and the Countess looks at you Elgin.
I know you're pain and we will rest soon enough but we must secure safe travel to
Fonoloc while we have the light of day. And you all press on for another 15
minutes and eventually the black gravel ground gives way to lush brush and tall
grass. The Countess parts some reeds and steps onto a dock. She turns back to you
all. I told you it wouldn't be long. Soon you'll be resting on the...
boat?
She stops dead in her tracks and you all do see a boat. In fact, it's the familiar ship,
the SS Better Prize. But the riverbed is utterly desiccated and the ship is beached on the arid
ground. Not a single drop is left in the channel.
It's worse than I thought. The timetable is moving much quicker than I anticipated.
Tappan Kurg oozes out from the boiler deck
with spork on his shoulder and waves to you.
No.
Blurrubble, gurrubble.
Ah.
Ha ha ha.
The Countess ignores him completely
and starts looking around for something.
She licks her finger and sticks it into the air
and immediately starts jogging along the shoreline.
Follow me.
I have another idea.
It's not as direct, but it will take us most of the way there.
Blub blub blub blub by the way!
Everyone make another Constitution saving throw.
I'm tired.
14.
21.
12.
22.
Alright, metagame speaking, Chip and Elga, you each have one level of exhaustion at this
point, just from all of exhaustion at this point.
You all forge ahead, trying your best to gain a second win and ignore your splitting sides.
It's tough to say how much longer you all travel.
Your focus is preoccupied by the humidity thickening around you.
You can feel your clothes sticking to your bodies.
In a choo-choo, you all spot a column of white smoke trailing just past the tree line up ahead.
We're almost there, but we can't afford to miss this train.
It will be hours before the next one comes along.
Everyone needs to sprint this last leg to catch the Grotath Express, which is pulling out of the station.
Everyone make an athletics check.
I have disadvantage because of fatigue.
Yeah, that's a...
11.
Do I need to also do it with disadvantage?
Yes. Okay. 14 with disadvantage? Yes.
Okay.
14 with disadvantage.
24. Wow.
It was a 27 with move forward.
I know, right?
18.
Everyone, you're barely able to do it.
You're able to overcome your heavy feet
and just at the last second,
able to reach the caboose of the train
and safely climb aboard.
Can Chip just grab onto the stairs
and be dragged for about 25?
That hurts so much. That hurts so much.
No.
No.
As everyone catches their breath,
the Countess opens the train car door
and urges all of you inside with a nod of her head.
The Countess closes the door, and you
find yourselves in a train car stacked
with luggage and box supplies.
She sets down on a nearby crate.
As I was trying to explain earlier,
I'm not really a countess.
I'm an agent of a covert organization called SHEATH.
We are protectors of a great secret
that must be guarded at all cost.
That's why we're headed to Fonoloc.
My name is not von Brath, it's Timpour.
Sedate Timpour.
Sedate Tempura.
How do I know that name before? Tempura like time? Ah, I am Haney. Chip Haney.
We've heard that before I think.
I don't know. We'll have to find out if you have or what that all means in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
Queen Longrass, Queen Longr, please, Queen Longr.
We'll see you guys next week.
Bye! Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye the show by becoming a patron at patreon.com slash stinky dragon become a patron you could get your name shouted out at the end of the show our patrons directly support the show and get ad
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the screen and more again that's patreon.com slash stinky dragon we can't thank you enough for your
support that lets us make this show we also want to thank some friends who write a voiceover for
characters in this episode
like Countess Von Brath aka Sedate Tempor voiced by Patty Risinger
Marnie Farny voiced by Stephanie Ard at Stephanie Michelle, that's Michelle with an S
The Alchemist voiced by Blizz at Blizzbear instead of an E, that's a 3
Venetia Wolfman voiced by Griff Milton at the underscore indoor kid
and Captain Kirk voiced by Armando
Torres at Mondo does stuff.
This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and written, edited
and composed by Micah Reisinger.
Head over to patreon.com slash stinky dragon for all things stinky.
Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. It's not about me, it's about the survivors, I gotta save them.
A second celestial being has hit the-
Dude, stop!
Oh my god.
Oh my god. being his hit the inspiration die. I don't know if that might get cut, but give yourself
an inspiration die. Why wouldn't that make it? That's so funny.