Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Vengeance in Vainia - C02 - Ep 36 - Speak Truth to Tower
Episode Date: February 27, 2024The party confronts the protestors in hopes of calming down the mob! Support us at stinkydragonpod.com/first ! Join us on Discord: https://discord.gg/roosterteeth Check out our merch and follow us ...on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://shopify.com/dragon to sign up for a $1-per-month trial period. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This is a Rooster Teeth production.
Jubilations to all you ginger brutes!
Run, run, run into the stinky dragon!
Lap up our latest libation!
Hide and dose seek.
It's a mixture of co-cannot-catch-me milk, a slingshot of gumdrops, a forking of mapled molasses,
a crumbling of ginger realms, and coffee brewed as fast as you can.
One gulp of this gummy guzzler, you'll feel like one tough cookie.
Previously, our adventurers ventured into the village of Vania with fresh vows. gulp of this gummy guzzler, you'll feel like one tough cookie. Previously our
adventurers ventured into the village of Vania with fresh vows. After a trip to
the Vladbank, they strolled through shops, spoke with citizens, but their townly
tour was interrupted by the familiar face of Francesca. Round up a refreshment,
let's resume this rank recollection.
Hello, everyone.
Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
I'm Gustavo Stroll, the dungeon master of our putrid party.
I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow.
This week's role-playing warm-up question is...
The energy is so different from last week.
How does your character feel about receiving slash giving orders?
Are they more of a leader or a follower?
Hello.
That's me saying, I'll go first.
Speaking of leaders.
I am the leader of this party, Barbara Dunkelman, Elga von Brass, the half-elf vampire
barbarian. And
Elga, I think, is
definitely a leader
because she's been kind of
been given orders her whole
life and she's had to follow orders.
And so whenever she
is separate from that, she likes to
really take charge and really
show her strengths which are
many multitudes so you're a leader if you're not being given orders you know why don't you get out
of here i just want to clarify i'll go that's all get out of my booth i used to be a follower now
i'm leader i'm empowered oh gotcha gotcha I'm empowered. That makes sense.
Sorry. I'll show myself out.
Hey there. It's Chip Haney played by Blaine Gibson.
Chip Haney is a tiefling
rogue level 7, recently
widowed.
What a terrible...
Oh my god. Chip built his
whole personality on the fact
that he was happily married.
And look what you did to me, Micah.
Look what you made me do.
Is that how Chip's going to introduce himself now to everybody?
Hey there, Chip.
And he recently widowed.
Yeah, yeah.
He's still grieving.
He's still processing.
He should be.
I would say that Chip, you know, back in the day, oh, a heck of a guy.
He'd take orders, you know, if he'd listen to the leader.
If they deserved it.
But, you know, in his days days playing sports at yamford his days of being a volunteer firefighter his days at dagger he's known to lead a group of you know ne'er-do-wells oh watch out
for a bachelor party because if chip's planning it oh buddy there's something happening every 30
minutes on the dot it's gonna be a hoot's going to be a hoot and a holler.
We call it like a bachelor party.
Yeah.
There's like different names for else places.
There's also like hen parties.
What's the grotesque version?
The monster mash.
Battler party?
Battler party.
Yeah, that's good.
Ben says maybe Beelzebub parties. Beel Bet. Ben says maybe Beelzebub parties.
Beelzebub parties.
Beelzebud parties.
Like they're buds.
They're all dudes hanging out
and doing dude things.
Okay, so Chip is professing
that he's more of a leader as well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I feel like that will not work well for us.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot?
I'll shoot you, yes.
Elka's got a gun.
Where did she get that one?
Why does half our party have firearms?
Did you give it to her?
I already have nine arrows in me from the last episode.
We shot ourselves crossbow bolts in your brain.
You want me?
Go ahead.
Okay, I go.
I'm John Reisinger and I play Matty Conficis,
who's an air cocker and ghost monk. And,ucius, who's an air cochrane ghost monk.
You know, this will come to no surprise
to anybody, but I don't really subscribe to the binary
very well of this conversation.
It really is like, you know,
I feel in the moment and whatever it is,
I'll go with it. The turd option, yeah.
One,
two, three. The turd option.
You have such a
beautiful way with the words.
It's so beautiful.
Get out of there, boo!
Does Matide find themselves doing one more than the other, though?
Or is it pretty even in the moment?
I would say Matide actually is more of a listener than a follower.
I'm not necessarily going to be giving out orders, but I'm going to
take into account what's going on around me.
But if I'm getting impatient,
I'm going to go do things. You successfully
managed a bakery. That's leadership,
right? You're going to lead all those croissants
around? Did you have other work?
No. You were the... Yeah.
The sole proprietor?
Ah!
Give yourself an inspiration, guys.
I already have one. Can we fire Blaine?
He's fire resistant.
Hey!
Two for two here.
This is our second recording of the day.
We're on fire.
Blaine and I are drinking coffee.
So, Barney,
for the most, as you know,
Barney, is a follower you know Barney is a
Follower oh I'm Chris Damaris
And I play Barney Farney the human
Cleric I think the personalities are
Merging between Chris and Barney like the
Lines getting blurred you're just realizing
That now
I was just waving to Chris
Barney is for the most part a follower
And that like you know he could
Be walking around town
and then just start following someone
and not remember why or who
and then be like,
oh, I'm trying to be catch.
And then they finally catch up to them
and then they realize they've never met them.
It's like when a kid gets lost at an amusement park
and they see their dad
and then they just start following some random adult. You're just
describing how we got Barney.
Yeah, that's how it was.
How we got Barney.
I think there's a lot to be said
for players who
describe themselves as leaders or followers and
the order with which you all did this.
Can I also though?
I agree, Gus. Yeah, I think
it says a lot.
Barbara is sitting up so upright. My posture has never been better. Can I also though? I agree, Gus. Yeah, I think it says a lot. I want to...
Barbara is sitting up so upright.
My posture has never been better.
Yeah.
But that is Barney more so as you know him for the most part.
But when it comes down to it, I don't think Barney's a leader or a follower.
He's, I don't want to say lone wolf, but he does his own thing and kind of stubbornly sometimes.
Okay.
Got a big thumbs up from John.
Is that good for the arrows?
Yeah, I'm happy.
Gus, are you a follower or a leader?
No more arrows.
I'm a leader.
I'm a leader, baby.
I'm a leader, baby.
Lead us, Dungeon Mister.
That's right.
As you all are walking over to the sign that says Aldenware,
you see a crowd forming near the middle of town in front of the vamp spire.
In the center are a few people shouting at the top of their lungs.
Dracula? More like Dracula-lier!
Uh-oh.
Your own so-called leader has broken the Vainian vows himself.
And yet he refuses to answer for himself!
The crowd begins to grumble and shuffle closer.
You catch a glimpse of three protesters interlocking arms blocking the entrance to the Vamspire. They start shouting in unison.
You can fight! We won't budge till we get some oversight! People in the crowd start to shout at
the protesters. Where do you come off? Yeah, Dracula would never break the vows. Who do you
think you are anyway? The protester in the center steps onto a pedestal and you finally see it's a fetching woman with green eyes,
fading long auburn hair, wearing a floral patterned blouse.
She looks familiar.
Our names aren't important, but our cause is!
The alchemist's jaw drops.
That's... that's my wife!
Francesca!
The crowd becomes irate and starts charging straight for the three protesters.
Francesca!
Everyone roll initiative.
Whoa!
I don't want to fight her.
Wait, do you think we're in a fight with Francesca?
We had to roll initiative, right?
The protesters who are protesting Dracula?
Wait, yeah, was Francesca trying to... Francesca's one of the protesters.
Yeah.
Defending or against Dracula?
We won't fight.
They're fighting against Dracula.
Yeah, so they were rising up. What's the ratio? Protesters to... There's three protesters. defending or against Dracula? We won't fight. They're fighting against Dracula. Yeah.
So they were rising up.
What's the ratio?
Protesters to...
There's three protesters.
To a whole crowd of people.
Right.
To a mob of people.
This was not a popular protest.
These odds are not in their favor.
Do we know what side we're on?
That's what we're going to figure out
with these initiatives.
Probably Francesca's side.
I have a question.
Francesca.
Yeah.
Francesca.
Do not remember
how we said goodbye to Francesca last time.
They rode off into the desert with Henry.
That's the last time you saw Francesca.
Thank you.
And Robert was with them.
Thank you.
I remember now.
Appreciate it.
I have an advantage on initiative, but it's a 15.
15?
What did I roll?
22 for Barney.
18 for Mateed.
Oh, thank you.
16. Sorry, there was a leak
in here. Surely we'll rest before
we have to go into battle
after visiting the bank. Time out! Peace!
Alright, you guys have won.
Regret nothing.
Let's go! They're gonna go down.
Barney, you're up first
followed by Mateed.
So can you give me the layout a little more?
Like, where are we in relation to the three protesters?
And also, where's the alchemist?
What's he doing?
The alchemist is with you all currently.
I rolled initiative for him as well.
All of the protesters are outside of the VAMP spire.
And you see the VAMP spire is surrounded by a moat.
And there's like a bridge that connects it to the side that you are on.
And the protesters are kind of blocking that bridge to enter the VAMP Spire.
And it's kind of like a small semicircle courtyard.
You know, they're north of you.
And then between you and them is a bunch of bystanders and the mob.
Okay.
The bystanders are between us and the mob?
Or is it just mixed in?
Yeah, they're kind of like people. Bystanders are like people who are mob or is it yeah they're kind of like people
bystanders are like people who are milling about maybe they're looking you know over at the
protesters but kind of like walking here to the show yeah yeah and then like feet wise like how
far away you have to don't don't humor me bonus uh inspiration i guess you're about 60 feet away
from the mob from i should say you're 60 60 feet away from the mob. I should say you're 60 feet away from the start of
the mob and then just
beyond that like they're kind of encircling the
protesters. So the protesters are a few
feet away further. Maybe let's say 70
feet away. Okay. 70 feet away from
me the protesters. Okay. Yeah like the
mob starts 60 feet away and then the protesters
are 70 feet away like in the middle of the mob.
Alright. Alright. And we haven't
really determined of who we're fighting with or for.
Well, what Barney should do is just fire off a giant AOE attack just at everybody.
Barney should just shoot his gun into the air to get everyone to stop.
I'm going to cast.
Barney's going to move forward towards the group.
That's what he's casting.
And then he's going to cast Calm Emotions.
Oh.
Good call.
Bart, he's going to give
everybody melatonin.
Yeah.
So I got a 60-foot range on it,
and it's a 20-foot radius sphere.
So if the 20-foot radius sphere,
then that would be a 40-foot.
Yeah, that would encompass
pretty much the entire mob
and the protesters. I love this because he'd be like, Oh, hey, that would encompass pretty much the entire mob and the protesters.
I love this because he'd be like,
Oh, hey, what are we doing here?
And they have to make a charisma saving throw.
17.
I'll read the spell.
Okay, thank you.
You attempt to suppress strong emotions in a group of people.
Each humanoid in a 20 foot radius sphere centered on a point you choose within range
must make a charisma saving throw.
Creature can choose to fail charisma saving throw creature can choose
to fail this saving throw if it wishes if a creature fails its saving throw choose one of
the following two effects you can suppress any effect causing a target to be charmed or frightened
when this spell ends any suppressed effect resumes provided that its duration has not expired in
the meantime alternatively you can make a target indifferent about a creature of your choice that
it is hostile toward this indifference ends if the target is attacked or
harmed by a spell or if it witnesses any of
its friends being harmed. When the spell
ends, the creature becomes hostile again until
the DM rules otherwise. It's a good
very timely spell to use.
So your target is
the mob. Yeah.
And the creatures of your choice are the
protesters. Is that correct?
Yeah, yeah. Is there a limit to how many creatures you can choose? It's the radius. Is that correct? Yeah, yeah.
Is there a limit to how many creatures you can choose?
It's the radius.
Yeah, and then as far as like,
do you make a target indifferent about creatures of your choice?
Yeah, so make them indifferent about the protesters,
and I target the mob.
Right.
Okay.
Roll 100 charisma checks.
And I would also say... Tell me more.
I would like to include the protesters
about the mob to make them
indifferent towards the mob so that they don't...
I don't know if you can cover both.
Chip's also feeling very emotional. Can he make a movement
into the sphere?
Chip rolls into it.
Because you choose... With the spell, you choose
targets and
the creatures. I think you would need two spells to have it go both ways.
All right.
Well, I will do that.
So it's DC 17 charisma.
Is that correct?
Yeah.
Okay.
I have plus three, so I need 14 or better.
Let's see.
What'd you roll?
So I kind of broke the mob up into fractions and fragments to make it easier.
So I don't have to roll a bunch of different saves. So I broke them up into fractions and fragments to make it easier so I don't have to roll
a bunch of different saves.
So I broke them up into quarters and I rolled four times.
All four rolls failed.
Yay.
Wow.
Remember Boss Nass in Star Wars?
Peace.
I got a six, a 15, a 16, and a 12.
Good job.
And then...
What's the duration on that spell? Concentration up to one minute. Okay. So you, and a 12. Good job. And then... What's the duration on that spell?
Concentration up to one minute.
Okay, so you've got a minute.
A shake party.
Way to go!
We have one minute, so then we need to get them out of there as quickly as possible.
I guess as a bonus...
Set a timer for one minute.
Oh my god!
No, Gus!
Brutal.
Do it, Gus.
Let's go.
You got 56 seconds.
I like this.
All right.
So I rush.
I rush.
We got to get them out of here.
I rush forward to the ladies' protester, Francesca.
Oh, my goodness.
It's Francesca Hexel and the Mummy
What?
You got 30 seconds
Oh no no that's not real time
And then
As a bonus
We're in combat
That should take a long time
6 seconds
And then
20
I throw a healing word
at Chip
I support this
how much is that for
well let's see
you can't cast two spells
you're right
you're right
never mind
10
nothing I do myself
I go as far as I can
and then I use my
psychic thing
to push myself
five foot forward
build a tent
build a tent
hot
and that's time
I like how when ever Chris feels rushed he just gets louder Build a tent! Build a tent! Hot. And that's time.
I like how whenever Chris feels rushed,
he just gets louder.
As if that's kind of like... It's faster.
So I went 35 feet forward.
Okay.
You are more than halfway up to them.
And can I also have yelled like,
Hide! Run!
Get out of here!
Hexel was from like the very beginning of the campaign,, they're, get out of here. Scat.
Hexel was from like the very beginning of the campaign, right?
No, Hexel's the glurb.
Yeah.
Correct.
There's a, their whole snail village was attacked by the phoenix.
Yes.
His character.
Correct.
All right.
So I would say that because you cast the spell and you, you know, you kind of placated everyone
that the protesters recognize you. They see you, obviously,
and they recognize you, Barney. And, you know,
they kind of hunker down to try to back away
from the mob as much as they can.
Okay. They don't, they don't, like, hide?
There's so many bystanders and
the mob is, like, everywhere. It would be really
difficult for them to hide. Especially
because there are a lot of eyes on them. Even if they're
indifferent eyes, there are still a lot of eyes on them.
Usually, when I'm indifferent, I just close my eyes.
Take a nap.
Yeah.
I'm going to do that for the rest of this campaign.
Oh, Barbara's so indifferent.
Wow, look at me.
No one attacked.
Mateed, you're up after Mateed is chipped.
John, stop.
I said no one attacked.
And John gave me a look like.
John's their own bird.
They can do whatever they want.
Attack yourself if you want.
I can't. I'll die.
That's why I healed Chip.
Why I couldn't.
One HP.
Okay.
So Francesca and
Hexel and the mummy
are the furthest from us.
Yeah, they're like in the middle of the mob.
They're at the bridge.
And is there something I can do?
I think I have a mustache, hair in my mouth.
Is there something I can do?
Yeah, sorry.
It helped your accent.
Very good, Barbara.
I want to try to determine if this is odd,
that the three of them are there and protesting.
I don't understand what this protest is about. It seems like
they're mad at Dracula claiming
that he has broken the Vania vows himself.
I don't know what those are.
Probably because they're being subject to them.
You read them. Oh. Ironic.
And hypocritical.
Hexel, Mummy, and Francesca
are mad that Dracula broke
those vows and the mob
disagrees that Dracula hasn't broken those vows.
It seems like they don't want to listen to anything.
It sounds, it's like a slander.
Okay, okay, yeah, yeah.
Okay, thank you.
Appreciate that.
Can I check to see if like, I don't know,
is this actually them?
Are they being controlled?
Is there, it just feels odd.
Dark magic.
Yeah, I don't have to detect magic.
You do like insight.
Yeah, I'll do a little
bit of an insight do i get anything like advantage we'll give you advantage because you know these
three people i think i might have something maybe but yeah i'll take it anyways just because you're
being so sweet just a sweet little dungeon mister that was a 10 and a 6 eight. So two bad rolls. It doesn't seem like they're under any control or duress.
They seem to be themselves.
Okay.
This mob, they're just regular humanoids?
Yeah, various humanoids.
People, you know, walking around.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
Okay.
I'm going to take to the skies.
And I'm going to...
I guess the farthest I can get to them.
I can go 120 if I double?
If you move 60, yeah.
Yeah.
Would that get me to them?
Yeah, because 60 would be you'd get at the mob,
but you'd be like 10 feet short of the protesters.
Okay, I guess I will land with the protesters.
Join them.
Vive la résistance.
De la reculure.
Petit has a guillotine
Parisians love a good protest
We're all about it
Just out of curiosity
Side question
Is Dracula spelled
The normal way
Or how do we spell Dracula
D-R-A-C-U-L-A
Okay
I was gonna say
If you did like a K
Or something
I'd be like
Get out of town
Just make it a G
Dragula
Dragula
Oh I like that Yeah And then I will I'll, get out of town. Just make it a G. Dragula? Dragula. Oh, I like that.
And then I will...
I'll cast Visage of the Astral Self.
What that does is as a bonus action
or as part of a bonus action, I can
make my face glow
with that Visage.
And that gives me Wisdom of the Spirit,
which gives me advantage on intimidation
checks. Could I actually
cast that alongside
arms of the astral self
so that it's all a big display?
Like, you know, it's very cool.
Matide flies up and then lands
like dramatically
next to the
protesters and then glows
and bursts open with all these extra
wings that are glowing
and tells the mob,
oh, what can I say to tell them to intimidate them?
The protesters?
Yeah, the mob.
You have garlic bread.
There's something about Dracula being like,
you know, appreciates your support,
but wants you to get back to work.
Get back to work.
Or go back, you know, like go home.
Go back your day.
I'll just yell out, I advise you to disperse before this gets ugly.
Ooh, intimidation.
If someone throws a single rock, you die.
They don't know that.
Shut up, Joe.
You just go, all right.
Yeah, make your intimidation check.
Come on, you can do it.
I am going to do it.
I know you can do it.
I got a plus two. I'm just saying you can do it. I am going to do it. I know you can do it. I got a plus two.
I'm just saying you can.
Elga gives Matita a thumbs up.
Ooh.
It's a hearty, venient thumbs up.
Who got this?
19.
Ooh.
That's really good.
Let's see if they're moved by this or not.
Guess it's my liege.
It's the gender neutral term instead of king and queen.
I love it.
My liege.
I love it. i did the four
roll thing again how'd you do 11 139 they're scared not very good not very good out of 40
20s wow yeah the mob seems to like take a pause and like look around a little bit you know they
know that they have way superior numbers on you but this is actually very intimidating.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah. And then
I'm not going to actually
do any sort of attacks
as much as I want to but I am
going to do, I'm going to use my
unarmored defense. No, not unarmored defense.
I'm going to use my patient defense
and spend a ki point to take the dodge
action. Okay.
It'd be really funny if they called you bluff and you go down in one hit.
That is why I'm using the patient defense.
All right.
You're the patient and this is the defense.
I assume that's it for you, Mateed.
Oui. Okay.
Chip, you're up.
Then Elga.
Then the mob.
Then the alchemist.
Are they done?
Are they dispersing or are they still?
They seem like they're taking a moment
to like reassess the situation.
Okay, then I'm going to use darkness
and I'm going to center it kind of amongst the mob,
but also encapsulate the three protesters.
Ooh.
Just to just make this like big,
you can't see anything.
And I feel like this is kind of like a,
I do it so quickly after Mateed's threat
that it almost seems like that's a part of it.
Yeah, like lights out.
Yeah, so I do that.
So it's a, you have a 60 foot range
and you make a 15 foot radius sphere,
which I believe covers them all.
The 20 foot radius thing did.
Yeah, the 15 foot radius will also cover the entire mob.
Creature with dark vision can't see through this darkness no magical light can't illuminate it okay and then
i'm gonna move a little bit closer and then i'm also going to use his singing voice
i have this we're we're working to replace Micah's vocals.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's not going well.
If you need some vocals, just let us know.
We're here for you, bud.
God, I have this thing.
Is it Thaumaturgy?
Thaumaturgy, right?
I think it's pronounced Thaumaturgy.
Thaumaturgy.
Thaumaturgy.
Manifest a minor wonder, a sign of supernatural power,
then range, create one of the following magical effects.
I think your voice booms up to three times as loud
as normal for one minute.
Oh yeah, I can do that too. I should have done that.
I don't know that you can do both darkness and
thaumaturgy. Is that not a bonus action?
They're both listed as actions.
I see. Okay.
You got a loud voice anyway. Yeah, I'm going to use
my loud voice. And regardless
of the thaumaturgy, I'll say
like something very official sounding I'm gonna
summon my
volunteer firefighter days
you know like conducting
the citizenry and just be like you know
disperse immediately
oh in a very intimidating
way yeah alarm alarm
alarm that's definitely an
intimidation check okay let me roll
that uh it's a 15 you have a plus 10 on that I have a plus 10 wow Alarm, alarm. That's definitely an intimidation check. Okay, let me roll that.
It's a 15.
You have a plus 10 on that?
I have a plus 10.
Wow.
He's our charisma person.
I'm going to use my inspiration.
Oh, okay.
Go for it.
There you go.
That's a 22.
22.
My rolls against it were 4, 10, 10, 15.
Not a good day for rolls over here.
Nope.
Okay, yeah.
You can't see what's happening as a result of that because it's dark.
They're just bumping into each other. Even Chip can't see.
Yeah, dark vision does not work
inside of it. I just guess I'd imagine
like if it was his spell. I think I can see in it.
Can you? We keep talking
about that where I have the
eyes that can see through magical darkness.
Ooh. Oh, right.
If I put on my scarf. You'll be
very dapper. Well, I have a
scarf that's like, I don't
need to see, I can hear.
Oh, right. But I don't have it equipped
because I have to like attune it.
But is it a shadow shawl?
It's astral sight.
Astral sight, yeah. It's part of your
visage of the astral self.
But it's so OP. You see normally in darkness, both magical and non-magical to a distance of 120 feet. Yeah. It's part of your visage of the astral self. Mateed's so OP.
You see normally
in darkness
both magical
and non-magical
to a distance
of 120 feet.
Yeah.
Thank you Micah
for finding that.
So could Mateed
essentially communicate
with us what's happening
if they wanted to?
Yeah.
Mateed you see
that the crowd
does appear to be
you know
stepping back
and dispersing a bit.
Thanks for the information Mateed.
It's not working.
I think you need
to attack them.
Call in artillery.
Although if it's dark, they're just gonna start
Elga, just run in and start swinging.
Yeah, they're just gonna start
showing. She holds her fists out
and spins and just starts
slugging this Tasmanian devil into
the thing. I love that. Is that it for you, Chip?
Yeah, I don't have any heals. Okay.
Elga, you're up, followed by the mob and the alchemist.
Okay.
Elga, in a surprising turn of events, does not want to use violence.
What?
In this situation.
Could she get up on that platform where Francesca was?
It's in darkness currently.
Okay.
It's in the magical darkness.
Could she just try to get up high somewhere?
Yeah, there's like various barrels and boxes.
You know, this is like a kind of like, it seems like a trade center.
Okay.
So you could find like some boxes to climb up on it.
Yeah, she'll move to a box where like she could get above the people if possible.
Yeah.
And then she wants to project in her loudest voice.
People of Vania, there is no need to fight.
It is me Elga Von Breath
I know you may have never seen me
Because I've never left
The Vamp Spire
But I'm here to tell you
We must be peaceful
There's no need
For violence
Especially towards my bird friend
And purple friend.
But they are very weak right now.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Well, Gus, I think that's a triple advantage on that.
Well, that's definitely advantage on that for sure.
That's not intimidation.
That's persuasion.
Okay.
So you make it a persuasion check with advantage.
What's your modifier for persuasion?
Not great.
Plus one.
That's not bad.
I'm going to use my inspiration die.
The barbarians doesn't have a high persuasion modifier? Seven and a nine. Normally i'm gonna use my inspiration die the barbarians
doesn't have a high persuasion seven and a nine normally i think the axe does the persuading
okay well i guess it's a nine is my highest roll that tracks so i'm trying to think about this if
you have advantage and use an inspiration die do you just re-roll one of the inspiration roll i'm
saying do you just re-roll one of the advantage rolls or do you re-roll both of them does the
inspiration die cancel out the whole action why don't i just-roll one of the advantage rolls or do you re-roll both of them? Does the inspiration die
cancel out the whole action?
Right.
Let's see what one more roll
will do.
Let's see what one more
looks like.
Ooh, 14.
It does.
Yeah.
You can't see them,
Elga.
Okay.
You think you did a good job.
Okay.
That's just Elga's confidence.
Yeah.
Is that it for you, Elga?
Yes.
All right.
It's the mob's turn
and you see them
begin emerging
from the darkness
and trying to blend in with the bystanders
and leave the area and go about their regular business.
Success!
We'll never know who really truly convinced them.
The alchemist starts running up,
trying to get closer to Francesca.
I stop concentration on darkness
so that the darkness disperses.
He jumps into the boat and just runs off
the bridge.
Oh yeah,
he runs straight up to
Francesca.
I'll give you everyone the choice.
You can each have either an
inspiration die or five temporary hit points.
I'll take the inspiration die.
I don't even have the inspiration die. I'll take the inspo. I'll take the hit.
It's so desperately trying to give you guys HP.
I'm not joking.
I'm taking it.
What happens?
I'm sure we've talked about it at some point.
What happens if Matit dies?
You're still about to find out.
You still go to saving throw.
Yeah, Death saves.
I watched the,
Chip watches the alchemist
and Francesca unite.
Francesca.
And then he gets close
to Mateen's like,
I need a hug.
Be very careful
with this hug.
Don't squeeze too hard.
No promises.
It's just like
that kind of a hug
where like, yes, your arms are each other but
there's like clearly a distance between the body so you're just kind of like tapping arms that's a
good hug that's that's how i live my life oh i mean if that's what matide would go for but for
uh uh chip would go in for like one of those deep sobbing heaving you feel the moisture of my tears and snot collecting on your shoulder hugs.
Come on.
He needs this.
He needs this.
There, there, there.
Well, this is one of my hugs.
Yeah.
What do you all want to do?
I guess at this point, you know, the protesters are there.
The alchemist is up there with Francesca.
You guys are kind of standing in the courtyard.
So, should we get the coffee?
Want to go back
shopping? Yes.
What are you doing, Francesca
and Hexel and Mummy? What are you doing?
Mummy.
Mummy. I just like
saying Mummy. It's funny. Obviously,
Hexel, Mummy, Francesca, they all know you.
Your timing could not have been more perfect.
Yeah, we know.
We each have our own motivations, our own reasons to be here,
and we decided to unite our voices,
try to effect change here, and to get to the bottom of this.
What's the beef with Dracula?
Well, we've heard rumors about Dracula,
and we have suspicions that Eddie may have been snuck into the Vamspire by Count Dracula.
Oh.
We've got to cancel Count Dracula, then.
Why would he want to smuggle Eddie in?
And you know, of course, that Eddie has wronged all of us,
and no doubt he is up to something again.
There have been rumors and sightings from locals that a stranger entered Vania less than a week ago,
and they describe him as a person being sinewy, yet muscular, with green features, and laughs a lot.
That sounds like Eddie, yeah.
It fits the profile.
There are also rumors that this stranger brought a gift, and suddenly the village was flush with gems.
And just like that, the sightings of the stranger went quiet.
I mean, he did have the mold.
Oh, smart.
You have a resident of the Vamspire with you.
Perhaps you and your friends can infiltrate the Vamspire,
find Count Dracula, and plead our case to him.
Then we can find Eddie and take our revenge.
Distract.
That sounds fair to me.
Elgo looks around and he goes, oh, right.
Yes.
I got a very important question for the three of you, okay?
One, two, three.
Do you have any healing?
Potions?
Some special spells? No, but that is a great point before you enter the vamp spire it would
behoove you to look around in local shops to try and find some equipment and stock up maybe find
any rumors or word of mouth that may help you in your journey to the vamp spire we'd also take payment for saving you because you were about to get dunked into that moat down there.
Just saying.
How much do volunteer firefighters make from the people whose houses we save?
What's the going rate on that?
I was also a professional assassin, don't forget.
I'm a little emotionally in hinge right now.
I'm a little emotionally in hinge right now.
This is all while Chip is still embracing Mateen,
just turning his head around to say all this.
And bleeding profusely.
I like the idea too that Mateen is getting squeezed more and more and their head is getting like blue.
Yeah.
And don't forget that most residents in the Vamp Spire are vampires.
So it would behoove you, or most of you,
to find some kind of disguise to blend in.
They really like that word, behoove.
It's a good word, behoove.
You should just turn Chip into a vampire.
What's the big deal?
I'm trying.
What?
What?
What?
What led you to believe that the protesting
would convince the people to rise against Dracula?
We thought that once the people realized that Dracula imposes all these rules on them,
that he does not follow himself,
that they would want to rise up and bring about change to make things more equal.
Anyways, let's go get you guys some cloaks.
Yeah, let's go. We should add to the village.
And we can find some supplies.
We can find some information and maybe take a nap or four.
It might be behoove the three of you to find a place to lie low
because you've kind of angered a lot of people.
Yeah.
I like how Chris said, it might be behoove.
When you hear a word,
but you're not quite sure
what the word means.
I know what the word means.
I just don't talk so good.
I only write good.
Right.
The alchemist chimes in and says,
if it's okay with you,
I'll stay here with Francesca
and make sure that she's okay.
Oh yeah?
You're staying with your wife?
That's nice.
That must be nice. That must feel good, huh? Huh, alchemist?'s okay. Oh, yeah? You're staying with your wife? That's nice.
That must be nice.
That must feel good, huh?
Huh, Alchemist?
It does.
Yeah, I bet.
But where's... Go somewhere not in the middle town.
Oh, yes.
We're going.
If you need a hut, I'll make you one.
No.
No.
We're good.
This is good.
Then we can stop forgetting that he's with us.
Could Elga look at her cloak and see if there's like a tag on it i was like where it's
from other than your name written inside of it yeah you take a look at it and there is no no tag
but you know it's because that um your clothing is made bespoke within vamp spire specifically
for you only the best is elga a nepo baby uh what am i I getting? I can't access my bank account.
Nepo baby.
Daddy canceled my cards, okay?
Should we go to the mantle place and get you that sash,
or should we go try something like the olden wear place?
We were about to go to olden wear.
I would say let's see what all we have available for purchase,
and then decide from there.
Okay.
The one thing I don't want is to buy like some stupid scarf
and then find out like this is the knife of whatever
and it's like the perfect thing.
Knife of everyone dies.
Before they leave, can I ask the protesters,
do you all have any currency that we could use to prepare for this quest?
No. We came straight here as
soon as we entered Fania to engage
in our protest. Name one of
the protesters. It's the
mummy. It's... No, no, no.
He's talking to the protesters.
Oh, okay. I thought he was talking...
My brain was like, is Barney talking to the mob
asking them for money? No, no, no.
I broke there.
It's Mummy.
It's Elise's character.
And then Hexel.
And then Francesca.
Yeah.
Can we just call you Elise?
No, I'm just kidding.
Sorry.
I didn't mean to do that.
It's just how I connect sometimes is remembering the voices.
Yeah, yeah.
Because we don't get to hear the voices while we're performing.
Correct.
It's always a nice surprise.
Yeah.
I'd say Chip would like to go to the Wres store if they don't have anything else to offer.
I kind of try to shake them down for money or anything and heals and they wouldn't budge.
Let's go.
Everyone heads over to Aldenwares.
Yeah.
You walk over and inside is a dusty shop with rows of glass cases housing rare trinkets and jewelry.
A sign at the counter reads in small red lettering,
now selling gems.
There's a gray-haired dwarf with golden eyes
wearing a silk gray suit standing there.
Welcome.
I'm Duffy Alden.
Oh.
Duffy?
Yeah, Duffy Alden.
This is Alden Wires.
It's my place.
Is this due to the acupar voices down, Duffy?
Just to keep stuff between you and me, right?
Oh.
Or just to us.
Yeah just between us. You using me.
Yeah.
Yeah we're using me.
Duffy what kind of stuff are you selling?
Yeah you know gems. They're in stock.
Gems or gems?
We're trying a real fine
line not to go down that road.
Is it gems or gems? Gems.
Gems.
Right here he points at the
sign g-e-m-s gems that's how i have always read it any any weapons or any of these gems have uh
the powers oh yeah you know it you know it uh here here here look we got uh some stuff on sale
we got uh the ring of springtime here a necklace Necklace of Neck Saving, and then full price, not on sale,
we got the Ring of Animal Influence, Ring of Evasion, Ring of Protection, and a Ring of Resistance.
Do you have like a necklace of resurrecting wife, dead wife, anything like that?
He looks at his wares again.
No, but I got some gems.
And he holds like a handful of just like bulk gems in his hand.
When did you get those gems?
Oh, they're new.
They're a recent acquisition.
Interesting.
You know, maybe if you cross my palm with a little HP,
I can tell you where that came from.
How much HP?
I don't know.
What you got?
Yeah, how much we got?
I'm sorry.
I just had a moment where I realized that it's HP is health points,
but also it's the pieces.
Yeah, it's the pieces.
Oh, that's funny.
It works both ways.
What are they called again?
Hemo points?
Hemo pieces?
Hemo pieces?
Yeah.
Hemo pieces.
That's funny because at first I thought you were like meta-ing it, but no.
No, no, no.
I think that's interesting.
Let me ask you, how much is this? Was it a ring of neck saving?
Necklace of neck saving.
How much was this necklace?
75 HP.
Oh.
You see it.
It's very ornate.
It's a lavish necklace of ruby beads, each in the shape of a vital organ.
It says you spend a charge on this thing and put it on the neck of a creature that died in the last minute and cast Revivify.
Oh, that's why it's expensive. Could have creature that died in the last minute and cast Revivify. Oh,
that's why it's expensive. Could've used that about, you know, three episodes ago.
Three episodes. Why don't you guys
just combine? But be warned,
casting the spell comes at a great cost.
Yeah, 75 HP.
What else do they have?
You said you have some rings? A ring
of springtime? That's on sale.
And then full price, you've got a ring of animal influence,
ring of evasion, ring of protection,
and ring of resistance.
And gems.
He holds up two hands full of gems now.
I find this interesting that your economy
seems to be based around these HP things,
but you also took gems as a payment.
Is that something we could figure out here?
You can give me HP for gems. I'm asking
about, since gems
clearly are valuable, would I be able to
provide you a gem in order to
exchange some currency?
You can exchange currency at the Blood Bonk. Okay, I
guess yours is going. He's a brick wall. Aren't
gems pretty? Is that all they are
to you? Why are they...
I feel like if the gems... They're so sparkly.
Oh, God, Gus.
I think he's saying no.
I keep staring at them.
I have one right here.
Would you like this one?
Ooh.
But then he looks...
He's got, like I said, he has two handfuls of gems.
Ooh.
He gets distracted looking at his own hands.
Where did you get all those gems?
Give me a few HP and I'll let you know.
Oh, my God.
Good Lord.
I give him...
It's a long look
between John and Blaine
to get some information. Start lower.
Start lower. I give him two.
Just flick him one HP.
You give him two HP. He says, oh, I'm much obliged.
You see, a few counts from the
Vamspire came in here in the last few days
with some rare gems I've never seen before.
Rumor is they've got a wand that
creates gems out of nothing.
Was one of those counts Count Von Brath? I don't, can't say. I don't think so. Okay. What's like
the standing of a count in this place? Is this, they're like, like government officials or what?
Oh, very, very high in the, in the order of things. Very well to do.
But this, this is, oh, this is too rich for my blood.
What does the ring of springtime
do? You look at it and it's
a ring crafted from Ignis glass
and looks like it has
running little red rivlets throughout
it. See this? You put
this on and it can transform your body
into a mature adult in their prime.
Barbra's face!
Oh my gosh.
So metagame-wise, you have to use an action to activate it.
Okay.
And while it's active, you have advantage on all ability checks,
skill checks, and saving throws, but not attacks.
Could you, is it just like a one-time use thing?
It can be used once per long rest.
Does it work both ways?
I was going to say.
I'm sure it does.
Like it ages him down?
Yeah, yeah.
Barney, I think that actually sounds pretty good for you.
I think it sounds pretty good for you too.
I mean, what are you guys going to pay with it for?
Yeah.
What's how much is it?
Oh, that's only 50 HP.
Hmm.
What are the other items that they have for sale?
The ring of animal influence, the ring of evasion, ring of protection, and ring of resistance.
And like what are those?
And of course the necklace of Nixie.
Those probably all cast those spells.
Yeah, but I don't know what those spells do, Jon.
Hold on, let me load them all up and I'll tell you.
Do these require a tournament?
Some of them do.
The ring of springtime does.
The ring of animal influence, while wearing this ring,
you can use an action to expend a charge
to cast animal friendship, fear, or speak with animals.
Ring of evasion has three charges.
When you fail a dexterity saving throw while wearing it,
you can use your reaction to expend one charge to succeed on that throw instead.
Ring of Protection, you get plus one bonus to armor class
and saving throws while wearing the ring.
And a Ring of Resistance,
you get resistance to one damage type while wearing the ring.
Which ones require attunement?
The Ring of Springtime, the ring of evasion,
the ring of protection, and the ring of resistance.
How much for the ring of protection?
Oh, I'll let that go for 100 HP.
You're crazy.
No, I'm a businessman.
Could I put the ring of springtime on hold?
Yeah, what kind of down payment you got?
Layaway?
Oh, I was just going to go swing by the bank.
Oh, okay, okay, yeah.
I'll be right here.
Yeah, yeah.
Can I try something?
No.
I don't know if I could do this simultaneously just to speed it up.
Could I go to the bank or bonk?
Yeah.
Why don't you go ahead and do that?
Roll your damage and then give us a summary while I deal with Chris here.
Okay.
And we can role play that on the side as soon as I'm done here.
I wanted to cast fast friends on this guy.
There's alarms are going to go off.
So fast friends, you cast a spell choose one
humanoid within range. So it's a
humanoid target. I got to double check and
make sure Alden qualifies
as a dwarf isn't he? Yeah yeah great dwarf
you're right. Okay so you
just make him friend leaf up to
you for up to an hour. Yeah and it's
when you need to make sure something
gets done you can't rely on vague promises
sworn oaths or binding promise. You cast a spell choose one human something gets done, you can't rely on vague promises, sworn oaths, or binding promises.
You cast a spell, choose one humanoid within range
that you can see and hear you and that can understand you.
Creature must succeed on a wisdom saving throw
or become charmed by you for the duration.
While the creature is charmed in this way,
it undertakes to perform any service or activities.
You ask in a friendly manner to the best of its ability.
Barney's going to rob this guy.
Wisdom saving throw.
And I think an important thing is at the bottom,
when the spell ends, the creature knows it was charmed by you.
Okay.
So yeah, I guess I make this wisdom saving throw.
Okay.
It's a DC 17 wisdom saving throw.
Rolling.
Rolling.
You.
I rolled a one.
Wow.
I rolled a one I rolled a one
This has not been a good day for me
So you cast fast friends on him
Listen
My friend
Oh friends yeah
I mean we're
How's the family
It's so good and it's great to see you
We're in this
Place with the vampires Why not see you. And, you know, it's like we're in this place with the vampires.
Oh, yeah.
Me too.
Why not?
Why can't we just, you know, deal with things on, like, a non-blood manner, you know?
So here, let me give you, let me give you, I'd happily give you some trades and gold for.
What do you got, friend?
Well, I got gold and I i hear have you seen the uh i
got this what a scarf of the sightless wow what about that and he points at your hide and seek
doll well i could happily let that go oh i'll give you uh we can make a little trade i'll give
you 10 hp for that uh i was looking more for that spring ring. Oh, no, you're crazy.
I just want to put on hold.
That's not a friendly thing to say. That's not very friendly.
That's not very... Yeah, it's like,
you're a crazy guy. Yeah, but you know,
for me?
You know, if you want to trade that
clothing, you can go over to Marin.
He'll maybe trade you for some clothing.
Who?
Marin? For Marin's Mantlery?
The third person.
Oh.
I guess, what do I need to get that ring?
The spring ring?
50 HP.
No, but like... Just real fast, I do think Elga has it on hold,
and Elga just finished up her damage rolls, I believe.
Do they only have one?
Yes.
Elga went to the Vlad Bonk.
How'd that go?
How'd that go? Yeah. It'll go into the Vlad Bonk. How'd that go? How'd that go?
Yeah.
So I got the 50 HP.
I actually got 53.
Or 50, yeah, 53.
How are you feeling?
Not so great.
Probably better than us, though.
I used my ass to the scarab,
and I just kind of let it go back and forth and back and forth,
slicing me up.
Does it give you a new appreciation when you attack people?
A little bit. Alright, we'll stay here
in a little while. Elgo
will finish and come back, but for now, it's still you
haggling, Barney. Yeah, I guess it was like, are there
two of them? Because I wouldn't have cast this if there...
No, there's only one. It was in Rings of the Springtime.
It's Ring of Springtime.
Well, I don't
get it. I wouldn't...
Like, I started casting this.
I mean, I did say I'm putting the ring on hold
and going to go get the blood for it.
Or HP for it.
Yeah, and I didn't know that's what you were going after.
You didn't say that from the beginning.
Is there anything else you would...
Go anywhere, friend.
We trade.
I'll take that guardian emblem from you, too.
For what? 15 HP. Well, I'm curious about the extent of the spell like in terms of like if he's supposed to do stuff that like any any of my wish like wishes and stuff would he not then trade
for something other than the blood well it undertakes to perform any service or activity
you ask of it in a friendly manner to the best of its ability. The problem is that in this town of Vania,
precious metals are, they're worthless.
Like he's trying to meet you in the middle here
by making these trades.
Like I think the intended spell isn't like
you rob someone blind.
It's like they're more pliable
and willing to try to figure things out with you.
Yeah, and I'm not trying to rob them.
I'm just trying to.
But they're like gold and platinum.
I'm like, that's like giving him a
rock. You know?
He can't do anything with that here in Vania.
Okay, well then what does he need to...
I'll tell you what.
Hindsink doll and guardian emblem, just because
we're friends. Instead of 25 HP, I'll give you
40 HP for the two.
I dig that deal. That's pretty good.
Actually, at this point,
Elgo walks back in.
Elgo seems a little more pale than normal.
Yeah.
Gotta do what you gotta do.
My father will tell her about this.
Just lunges at Chip and takes his last HP.
Wandering of springtime, sir.
Oh, yes, yes, yes
The lady will be wearing it out
Thank you very much
Could you cut the tag off?
Not to wear it out
He opens up the glass case and pulls it out
50 HP
Okay, here you go
Yeah, there you go
And metagame-wise, if you look, you should be able to add it to your inventory
Ring of springtime
Okay
You know, if you have to lose something that, you know, was in tune to you,
you know, that Fangfrost is pretty nice.
Just saying.
That's a very interesting perspective.
I bet you she could get a lot of HP for it.
What does he have that doesn't require attunement?
The Necklace of Neck Saving, the Ring of Animal Influence, and that's it.
All right.
I'll trade for the,
how much blood points?
40.
Okay.
HP,
not blood.
Nemo pieces.
We should have just dragged the goblin's butt here.
Just go ahead and take the hide and seek doll
and the guardian emblem out of your inventory,
and you can,
I'll give you 40 HP for that.
Okay.
That's just endless money.
Shopping spree.
Okay.
Are we done here?
I am.
Yeah.
So we've been to the vineyard, the mantle place, oldenware.
What's left, Gus?
Two places?
We have the Lowe's hanging fruit.
Lowe's hanging fruit and...
So I mentioned this in second wind and we might have to do some pickup for it.
I kept saying vineyard.
It should be vineyard.
Vineyard.
That makes more sense.
When you see like a word that's close to a word you're used to, to do some pickup for it. I kept saying vineyard. It should be vineyard. Vineyard. That makes more sense. Vineyard, yeah.
When you see like a word that's close to a word you're used to,
like my brain was just kind of broken.
I think I was saying vineyard the whole time.
Anyway, there was the vladbank,
which you went to.
Oh, okay.
So is it just low-hanging fruit?
Low-hanging fruit,
oldenwares,
marron's mantelry,
and vineyard valhalla.
Okay, let's go to low- Hanging Fruit and see what's there.
Can I say something to Elga?
Yeah, go for it.
Elga, I'd like to apologize.
For what?
This ring that would take you back to the the creature that took my family from me.
For them to see me as I once was.
And as I should have been whenever I...
And for me to want to have...
Barney, I have no idea what you're trying to tell me.
want to have... Barney, I have no idea what you're trying to tell me.
For me to want to have taken
to wish back
my youth when
it was robbed from you, when I
wasted away mine. It's just, I'm sorry.
I think I accept
your apology.
But I'm
not quite sure.
It's okay.
Thank you, Barney. Yeah. Let's go to Lowe's. I will drain quite sure. It's okay. Thank you, Barney.
Yeah.
Let's go to Lowe's.
I will drain you last.
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It's just, Elka has a list that she's constantly like crossing out and realigning everything like that.
Every day.
It's a constant realignment.
But Matito is not even on the list.
Not even on the list, yeah.
It's just Marty and Chip swapping back and forth.
Oh, so that means you're going to drain Chip first.
Chip's just looking through the shop window, waving, smiling, waving.
He doesn't have much blood left.
I've already tasted it.
So you head over to the shop that has a sign that says Lowe's Hanging Fruit.
Inside is a moist, sweet-smelling greenhouse made of black glass.
Hanging from the ceiling are trees, upside-down trees, bearing various fruits.
And inside you see a male orc with red eyes and calloused hands wearing overalls who seems to be pruning some of the trees.
Bonjour.
Bonjour.
You speak Parish?
Parish?
No, I don't.
Oh.
I think he just copied you.
Oh, okay.
It's called code switching.
Hello, we are here to see what you're wearing.
We are new in town and we'd love to know what you sell.
It seems you have some sort of interesting agricultural things happening here.
Here?
Yeah, yeah. I have some
seasonal hanging fruit for sale.
Could I interest you in some? I have
Vlad Orange, Glareberry,
and Mortap.
I wonder, is it like Vlad the Impaler?
Like a blood orange? Yeah, but like
nothing Vlad. Vlad, yeah.
That's what Dracula's based off of.
Are you named Lowe's?
What's your name? Name? Lowe. you named Lowe's? What's your name?
Name?
Lowe.
Yeah, Lowe.
Hey, Lowe.
God, Chip, any pleasure to meet you.
Hi, Lowe.
You can say Lowe.
Hey, Lowe.
Hey, Lowe.
What are the effects of these three fruits, these hanging fruits?
Fruits. The blood orange grants the effects of false death for one minute.
What if you seek real death, you know?
It's dark,
but every orifice on your body
oozes scarlet juice for the duration.
This glary berry
metagame gives you advantage on perception
intimidation checks, but you
can't blink for the duration. They're my favorite judge
on the British Bake Off. And then
you're blinded for one minute. Oh.
Because your eyes need to rest. And finally, this Mort Apple
gives you the effects of Feign Death,
but only for five minutes.
So one's Feign Death,
the other one is False Death.
They're specific D&D spells,
so they have different abilities.
If you want, I can go over them,
or you can read them.
How much are you charging for your fruits?
Fruits?
Five HP each.
I'm sorry.
I can't have to call Zot.
You keep repeating when we say fruits.
Do you sell something other than fruits yet?
Here.
No, no, no.
Just fruits.
Is this town full of sketchy people?
I'm not quite sure.
Every shop owner seems to have a quirk to them.
I didn't mean to interrupt your transaction if you're trying to figure out something.
Well, technically I only have three left,
so I count to four.
I can donate two coins to HP.
What was the one that you said?
He's been donating blood this entire campaign.
Gives you advantage on, was it strength and perception?
Perception and intimidation checks.
It's the Glary Berry.
You get blinded, though.
It's a pretty bad trade-off.
For one minute after.
After, for one minute.
Yeah, once you're done.
I'd like to buy one of those.
How much?
It was five.
Five?
I have three left.
I'll chip Elga two.
You'll chip?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I miss my wife.
Chip, your kindness will not be forgotten.
I will put you now second on my list.
Uh-oh.
All right, the rankings got updated.
It's just a dead pool.
That first one, the feigned death one.
The blood orange?
Yeah, yeah.
That's one minute.
Appears like dead, right?
False death.
False death.
And you ooze scarlet.
False death or feigned?
False death.
Mortapolis feigned death.
Okay.
And then you ooze red stuff.
It's for one minute at last, right?
Correct.
Is it anyone who eats the berry?
I guess what I'm saying in theory, could you give it to someone
with them not realizing it, and then they fall dead and appear dead?
Well, that's up to you.
But okay, so it's orange.
An orange.
So you go to a little kid's soccer game, you see,
and they're passing out the orange slices.
Slip one of those little boogers one of these
puts them right to sleep how for how many how many five for all the fruits or just that the berry
berry yeah five for uh oh i suppose i'll take the that one the blood orange you have money left over
i didn't spend anything oh you did you did. You just exchanged. You're right. Yeah. 40 blood coin.
Oh, you know what?
I'm not going to do it.
Never mind.
It's all right.
That's the decisive leadership of Barney Farnley.
No, no.
I just realized I can do that spell, so I don't need it.
Oh, gotcha.
I have a question for Lo.
Lo.
Get Lo.
Lo.
Lo.
What can you tell us?
We're new in town
We're very interested in Monsieur Dracula
And wonder if you know anything about these
Outrageous rumors
About him breaking
The oath of Vamspire
Vamspire?
Yeah, there's protesters in town, right?
Yes
Troublemakers, stirring up trouble for no reason.
I would agree.
You know, just so I understand,
why would you think that there's no way that this could be something that Eve would be doing?
Doing?
Count Dracula's an upstanding beacon of righteousness for us all.
Oh, and have you had direct interaction with any of these counts of the area?
Area.
Sometimes they'll send some of their battlers here to purchase some... Oh, and have you had direct interaction with any of these counts of the area? Area. Sometimes.
They'll send some of their battlers here to purchase some fruit.
That's so good.
Even if they did break his oath, who cares, right?
Like, would you care?
I mean, does it even matter?
Matter?
Yes, of course.
The Valsavania matter quite a bit.
So you would be upset if you found out they were true.
Yeah, but that's impossible. Yeah, of course. Of course the Valsavania matter quite a bit. So you would be upset if you found out they were true. True?
Yeah, but that's impossible.
Yeah, of course.
Well, it seems like you have a bit of an echo.
Echo?
Echo.
Echo.
Echo.
Echo.
I'm missing something.
He's just repeating the last word that everyone is saying.
It's just funny.
I was trying to think of something to make you say it.
I was focused to think of something to make you say it I always focus on discovery
breakers of the vow say what
what
no
we're gonna report you
give yourself an inspiration back
that's funny
so good
well Lo
this has been wonderful but I have nothing else to get from you.
You, are you sure you don't have some HP you want to exchange for some information?
You got information?
Information, maybe.
Would you give it to us for free?
Free?
Yeah, okay, we'll take it.
No.
Oh, okay.
Take it?
No.
I toss Lo to HP.
I toss low to HP.
He deftly picks it out of the air and pockets it and looks around with his red eyes and kind of leans in.
You know, there's reports coming from Carcassouc and Glurb about earth tremors and water sources drying up.
And I'll give you a little extra because your friend here purchased some fruit.
You know, most folks know vampires only drink blood.
But there's some whispers about vampires that thirst for other things.
Things that you can't even see.
Like what? What? I don't know.
People coming in and out of the spire,
typically, how do
they get in and out?
No, the bridge,
of course. Any other ways?
Like the battlers,
do they fly in or anything?
Anything. Typically they walk in here.
Yeah, but they don't ever fly in because they're
battlers? Battlers.
No. No. Okay.
I like to think that when writing these
NPCs, Mike, I just put
this NPC repeats the last word
of anybody. 100%. That's what's in the
modules. Low, I think we're
going to go unless you got anything else to say.
But it's been a pleasure talking to you.
Yeah, okay.
See you next time.
I'm gonna head to Marin's.
What it says is,
Low involuntarily repeats the last word you say
before responding.
That's so good.
Dude.
I love that.
A funny gimmick.
Okay, so we have visited all the establishments, and I feel like you might want to go back to the mantle place and get some Cute. I love that. A funny gimmick. Okay, so we have visited all the establishments,
and I feel like you might want to go back to the mantle place and get some sunshine.
I love Marin.
I just miss Marin, you know?
I haven't seen a tiefling in so, so long.
And we need disguises.
That's true.
Oh, yeah, they did say that we should blend in,
and by we, I mean only you guys.
I'm going to head to Marin's.
Me too.
Okay.
Yeah, what is the observationally the aesthetic of all the...
So like mostly vampires, right?
Yeah, so is it like cloaks and like, I don't know, like traditional vampire?
Well, yeah.
Wait, I'm sorry.
I don't understand the question.
Okay.
In Marin's mantles, what's the aesthetic?
Does everything feel like it looks like it would be the typical garb of a vampire?
Gotcha.
Yeah.
I'll reread the description that we said last episode,
because I think that'll answer your question.
Inside, the smell of fresh linens wafting from racks of cloaks, capes, scarves, mantles, and robes.
And you see the male prepubescent tiefling with adorable dimples
wearing a violet cashmere shawl that occasionally shimmers to a pastel turquoise.
So yeah, lots of cloaks, capes, mantles, robes, things of that nature.
And that would be disguise, essentially.
Could be.
Marin, Chip's back.
Hey.
Hey, Chip.
Marin's happy to see you.
I do the tiefling handshake thing.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, so you had a cool scarf that seemed to do some sort of a smoky thing.
What's it called again?
That was called the vapapors, the Sash of...
Shadows.
Shadows.
The Sash of Shadows.
Shadow Sash.
There it is.
Barbara remembered.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Shadow Sash.
Are you interested in that?
50 HP.
Remind me really quick what else you got,
because we're interested in looking like locals.
You know, we're from out of town.
We want to fit in.
We don't want to look like a bunch of tourists.
We got the neckerchief, which is also on sale.
And what does that do?
You look at it, and it's a velvet white neckerchief,
redolent of a crackling fireplace.
A metagame where you take damage,
you can use your reaction to reduce the damage
by spending hit die.
You may expend and roll up to three of your hit die,
adding your constitution modifier to each.
You can use this feature once per short rest.
How much for that one?
Marin charges 50 HP for that.
Uh, Marin, I see you have all these very magical, uh, items.
Do you have any mundane items that would be of more, uh, cheaper, uh, scales that would still make us look like part of the local?
Oh, of course.
Marin's got you covered.
That's my saying.
I've heard of it.
Ha ha! That's my saying. I've heard of it. Whatever you want. Cape, cloak,
anything mundane. Marin can get
that for you real quick. You know,
I saw one of the counts
traveling around here recently
and I loved how they looked. Do you have something
that would make us look like we a little bit like them?
Oh, absolutely. Marin caters
to all of the counts. All of the
fine merchandise here in Vania, Marin can get for you.
How much for, let's say, like three sets of that?
Marin can do that for three HP.
One HP each.
Oh, there you go.
Then I toss him an HP for mine.
All right.
As a clue for you guys to also do that.
I think they're all reading.
We might.
I was going to get a shadow sash.
Oh, I'm saying for like a disguise.
I was going to ask,
hey, Marin,
do you think if I got this here,
Shadow Sash,
would this help me kind of like
blend in with the locals?
Meta game perspective,
is this a sufficient enough disguise?
Sure, we'll save.
Why not?
Just because if you're spending 50 HP on it,
sure.
Okay.
Marin will do you a solid.
Marin will throw in a local cloak
free of charge. Marin, you're the guy. It will throw in a local cloak free of charge.
Marin, you're the guy.
It's the tiefling hookup.
I love it.
Just because we did the tiefling handshake.
That's the one.
Which one are you going to be buying?
Shadow sash.
Okay.
Could I get the necrochief?
Absolutely.
Marin's happy to sell.
50 HP for the shadow sash and 50 HP for the necrochief.
I think I'm short.
How much?
Marin thinks you look very tall.
Marin, you're too good. I think I'm short. How much? Marin thinks you look very tall. Marin, you're too good.
I think I'm like missing one in HP.
I give you one.
Okay.
You know, Marin, I also got a,
I got something that you might be interested in.
What's that?
A robe of serpents.
You want to buy something like that?
Marin could do a little trade.
All right.
With the tiefling hookup,
Marin can do 20 HP for that. Okay.
That's a deal. I think I have like 19
HP now. Oh, okay.
And I'm going to remove that and I'm going to
add shadow sash. Okay. I have
20 left. There's no reason for me to hold
on to this. I might need like
a few. For what? For
a cape thing. Are these all 50?
The necrichiff and shadow
sash are 50. The other ones are
because they're on sale. The other ones are full price.
Marin has not talked about pricing on the other ones
yet. Mateed looks at Barney
and goes, I see you still have blood.
I still have one day of HP
to play with.
So how much are those? Which one
can Marin interest you in? Cape of Mont
I mean, Cape of Mont
blank, Mantle, Spell Resistance,
and Rogue, and probably not Rogue's Mantle.
The Cape of the Mont Bonk?
That'll be 100 HP.
And the Mantle of Spell Resistance.
Marin will do 100 HP for that as well.
Can I, I'll just get a regular cloak,
and can I just buy one of those other mundane items
at the other store?
The, like, animal one or something like that.
Animal one?
One of the ones that didn't require attunement,
one of those. Oh, like, well, yeah, yeah.
One of the other items you saw before? Yeah, yeah.
Absolutely. I just want to backtrack through it, but
I'll just get a regular. Oh, you want to just, like, knock it out right now?
Yeah, yeah. Which one were you interested in? There was the
animal one. The ring of animal influence?
Is that the one you want? Yeah, I'll do the
animal one. Alright, that's
100 HP. Oh, never mind.
Yeah, I was like, I don't know where
Chris is going with this. I don't know where Chris is going with this.
I don't know what I can do with this.
You got plenty of blood, right?
You can bleed.
I mean, you have 40, right?
From that trade.
And then you still have full health.
Yeah, but I don't think Barney wants to do that.
Yeah.
Marin can maybe unload something for you there.
And what are you interested in?
He kind of rummages through your bag and pulls out your scarf of the sightless.
Marin's very interested in this.
How much?
Since you're a friend of Chip, Marin will hook you up and do 15 HP.
Hey!
15 HP, but I don't know what I could buy with that.
What was available for 50?
I'm sorry, it's hard to keep track of the...
For 50.
Yeah, because I would have 55 at that point.
Gotcha.
The fruit, Barney?
The fruit. Yeah, I think everything at this point is point. Gotcha. The fruit, Barney? The fruit.
Yeah, I think everything at this point is 75 or 100.
Which one's 75?
The necklace of neck saving.
But it's got a deep price.
Do you want another cloak?
Is there another thing you could use?
Who are you asking?
I'm asking Chip because he has all those rogue stuff.
No, Shadow Stash is enough because I don't think I'd be able to put a cloak on.
I don't have a cloak.
Yeah, hat on a hat.
I already have something else.
The three fruit were what?
Really quick.
They are Vlad Orange, Glary Berry, and Mort Apple.
I took the Glary Berry, although I'm sure there's plenty.
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
So we don't have to backtrack.
Give me two Mort Apples.
Mort Apples.
Two of them.
Yeah.
I'll not sell my cloak and then just grab with my 40 gold.
40 HP.
40 HP.
I guess.
How many fruits will that get me?
Eight.
Yeah, I'll take two of each of them and keep the extra 10 for bribing.
Good idea.
All right.
I'm done.
I'm done.
And I just got a regular cloak look too
I'm Elga
Bonjour
Alright, we are done shopping
We all have our disguises, we?
Yeah
Yes, disguising
Merrin, Chip and the crew are gonna take off
Pleasure to see you there, pal
Anytime, Chip
Come on back and see old Merrin
Okay
I throw my sash and go
I like to imagine you walk
with more like pep in your step now.
Yeah. More hip shaking.
Which is hard to do
considering how you already power walks.
Should we try to make our way into the
vamp spire? Let's do that.
Oh no.
We should go.
We should rest.
I was about to say, I was like...
I'm so tired.
Oh, it's been a day, hasn't it?
You guys ready to hit the post-bite?
I think it's important that we press on.
Elga, you know a great place to rest up.
Don't say the Vanspire.
Yeah.
You got a room there and everything.
Oh, you guys could crash in my pad.
Nice.
Let's do that.
I'm sure it won't be an issue at all, and we'll be able to go right to sleep when we get there.
No question.
I'm sure the moment we meet your papa that everything's going to go smoothly,
no one in our party's going to have any issues with him, and everything's going to go great.
We're going to take a big old team nap.
He's probably at work right now, right?
Yeah.
Is there, like, an inn or anything like that?
Not in the VAMS fire?
Like, anything that we could sleep in not in there?
There's no inn.
There's no place that advertises lodgings.
Who the VAMS fire it is?
Barney, set up the tent.
Set up the hut.
I can.
Should we hut?
I don't know if we'll be able to.
Yeah, what's our timeline like?
That's up to you guys
I was writing in the more tab
Why can't we go into your family's house?
I think we can
Let's go do that
That's not fun
I would love to see what made you
All I'm saying is every time we've entered a city
We've had an encounter
What's the worst that could happen?
We die
I've done that
before. It's not that bad.
Let's go. It's always the closer
you get to death, the more drunk you get.
I am
Parisian, okay?
Please put your oxygen mask on
before assisting.
What's happening?
Okay, so I guess we just cross the bridge.
Do we need pseudonyms?
No.
We're in disguise.
Like, are we doing a disguise?
Yeah, you can be Vampire Barney, and you're Vampire Mateed, and you're Vampire Chip.
Bah!
I wanna suck your blood!
Is that good?
That's very inappropriate.
We don't outright tell people we want to suck their blood.
Don't gay.
Yeah, that's why Barney has a problem with it.
You're so sneaky about it.
What is your marching order walking up to the VAMP Spire?
Me first.
I'll be right behind her.
I'll go next.
Oh, yeah, I'll be behind Barney.
Chip bringing up the rear.
Yeah.
Okay, so Elga, Mateed, Barney, Chip.
You begin walking back towards the Vamspire.
You know, it's where the protesters were
and where you encountered that mob earlier.
And there's, like I said,
there's a black stone bridge
that sits over a moat of blood.
And there's a large open arched entrance
into the tower.
And it appears to be flanked on either side
by Ignis stone bat gargoyles.
Do you guys hear organ music playing?
Ignis stone.
Black gargoyles.
Black gargoyles.
Ignis stone is like the stone of this mountain.
So that same black stone we saw on our way in.
Correct.
And it appears that the bridge is probably made of the same thing.
Beautiful.
So homey.
Wow.
I like this a lot, actually.
Okay, onwards and upwards.
Yeah, as you walk through, Elga,
you see that there are also two Sferatu
in an antechamber right there behind the gargoyles.
In an antechamber?
A little antechamber.
Well, how does that look?
So it's like you walk up on the bridge
and there's like a little alcove behind the gargoyles.
And that's where the two Sephiroth two are before you really enter the main part of the Vespire.
A room before a room.
Correct.
Gotcha.
Okay.
Gotcha.
It seems like they're concentrating on something.
Hello.
I'm home.
They don't seem to pay you any mind.
What are you guys doing?
What are you looking at?
Could I follow their line of vision?
Yeah, make me an arcana check.
Uh-oh.
14?
It seems like they're concentrating on maintaining a spell.
Oh, no.
Some kind of warding spell.
Am I going to have to turn into a dinosaur again?
What kind of spell are you doing?
You sometimes sound more Minnesota.
Wisconsin.
They don't seem to reply.
Could I see what they're looking at at least?
They're looking at each other.
They're like on opposite sides of the antechamber.
They are a entryway barrier is what they are.
And it's the entry for the spire?
For the vamp spire.
Vamp spire.
And they're not the black obsidian gargoyles.
No, these are Spharatu inside the anti-chamber.
I don't know how we're going to team.
I think that these are going to be checking via a spell.
But we are.
Yeah.
They have like a staring contest going on that was going to out us.
I have an idea.
Oh, no.
I also have an idea.
I want to hear Alga.
Unless Barney, I doubt our idea is
the same one, but what is your idea?
Say them at the same time in three.
One, two, three. No, no, no.
I can shape stone.
And
I touch a stone object, medium size, smaller,
and can shape the dimensions and form it in any shape that I want.
So I could just basically make our own way in and avoid the...
As in make a door somewhere else in the building.
There's a moat around this whole place.
We are entering via the only bridge.
We can't cross a moat.
We can all...
Everyone can fly. Yes, everyone can fly.
Yes, everyone.
No, this is not true.
Anyway, Elgig, go ahead.
Could I jump on
to one of the Svaratus and give him a hug?
I miss you!
Svaratu, I was gone for so long!
It's so good to be home!
Yeah, make a... I love it. Let's so good to be home. Yeah, make a
I love it.
Let's make a strength check. Yeah.
Yes. I have
a follow up on this. I'm going to let her resolve.
I hope this cooks. 16.
And then I'm going to make the Sfarratu
make a concentration check.
Good call. 17.
Darn it. Yeah, the
Sfarratu, you know, doesn't shove you off or anything,
but doesn't, you know, warmly return your hug and your embrace.
It still seems to be maintaining whatever concentration it is that he has.
My father will be very upset to hear that you guys did not acknowledge me getting home.
Your father will be very upset if we do not do our duty.
But what will he be more upset about?
The duty.
Speaking of, you look hungry.
Do you want a fruit?
The Sfratu does not acknowledge you.
I got a flat orange.
The Sfratu looks at you and then, you know, narrows its eyes.
We do not need to eat.
Yeah, but you don't need to, but it's certainly tasty.
I mean, there's lots of things you don't need to do in life that you do for the pleasure.
We do not eat fruit.
Always worse in Arnie's voice.
Good morning.
Do you want to maybe like ask if you could come in and see like what happens?
I think if you walk through, it's going to be fine.
It's fine.
But yeah, I wonder like if.
Um, sirs, is it okay if I bring my friends up?
Um, we're going to, I was going to show them my room.
As long as they have been invited by Count Dracula or delivered their password.
Oh.
Password, what's the password?
Could you, I've been away for so long.
Could you remind me what the password is?
Just whisper it to her.
Cannot do that.
Okay, the password is
can't do that.
Can I?
Wait, we can figure this out.
Wait, can I ask?
I have a question.
To Helga.
Helga?
No, Helga.
Helga.
Is it only living creatures
that can't pass through?
No, I think you just have to be invited.
But like if we were dead for all intents and purposes.
I don't know if it has anything to do with.
She's not dead.
She's undead.
No, no.
But like, I guess we got these fruit that make you literally like you are dead.
Not mine.
I have them.
So that was like, could we just like, could we get in it and you carry us in like a suitcase?
Like if I'm like, I'm bringing in a corpse?
Yeah, yeah.
I think it, well, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, sorry.
I mean, I don't know.
Maybe we can ask, but I feel like it's more like in a world where there's like dead, undead, and living combined.
I feel like these guys are just screening for people that may or may not trespass into the land.
Or have been invited.
Do you think any of the shopkeepers would have had the password?
Were any of the people that we talked to in the shops, were they vampires?
You said a lot of people in the area were vampires, but we never asked about any of the shopkeepers.
Make a wisdom check.
I have a perfect recollection of things I see.
Yeah, but you have to interpret what it is that you saw.
Did I see fangs?
No.
I have an idea.
I didn't see fangs.
No.
Okay, and what check was it again? Just so I can run it.
Wisdom. Oh, sure. Why not? Let's see
what Mr. I don't know what the password is.
I have an idea. 19.
No, you don't believe any of the shopkeepers you encountered
were vampires. Okie dokie. I'm going to pull out
the Carctus Dei, the
yonder letters, and I'm just
going to write, what's the password to Vania?
The secret password to Vania. Oh
that's a good idea. Okay so
I think we've been thinking that the wrong
person's been writing these notes to us
I just could be a total shot
in the dark but we're just going to see how it goes.
And just so I'm clear where are you doing this
are you still doing this in the antechamber up there by the
gargoyles and the Sferatu or do you
walk away from the Vamspire?
Chip is one
stealthy dude he's gonna kind of just like wander back maybe over to the drawbridge and just kind
of yell you know you know you know kids these days at school and they're texting under their
desks and it's kind of out of sight from the teacher and they get biothic because oh they're
so stealthy okay so you're at the other side of the moat like away from the vamp spire back kind
of where the protesters were sure yeah I kind of wander back over that.
I think,
I think they should do that in case there's like alarms.
Yeah.
So,
uh,
you send off the car to say,
uh,
yeah.
And you feel a tapping on your shoulder.
I,
I look at the tapping.
You turn around and the alchemist is standing there.
He says,
I don't know.
Yeah.
It's the alchemist.
Cause he's the one who's been sending the messages.
What do you need the password for?
We had to get into this,
the dark, the, the, the, the, the damn sp's been sending the messages. What do you need the password for? We got to get into the dark... The tamp...
The tamp spire, whatever.
Yep.
Right, right.
The tampon spire.
We got to get in there to talk to Dracula.
Do you know a better way to get in there?
Just because it's a long thing
that involves blood
does not make it a tampon.
Barbara trying to take a drink out of her flask.
I have to make the joke.
I have to make it.
That's a good one.
Well, it would seem to me that perhaps the password can be perceived or overheard somehow.
Perhaps there's an alternate way to get into the vamp spire.
We can use our rogue.
This is your moment.
This is your moment.
I was trying to do it, but yeah, okay, right.
This is your moment so I'll try to do we okay right this is your moment you just need to hide in the antechamber and listen for someone else to enter
guys get I I'd that's that should work right it's a plan okay oh you're very
sneaky I'll whistle for the gang.
And I have them huddle up around me near the alchemist.
Okay, what are you doing?
I think I'm going to try to hide. Maybe I can kind of linger off the drawbridge and then try to overhear the password as someone else passes through.
That is a fantastic idea.
Yeah?
You came up with that all on your own, didn't you?
Yeah. So proud of you. Thank you. I think it's a fantastic idea. Yeah. You came up with that all on your own, didn't you? Yeah.
So proud of you.
Thank you.
I think it's a great idea.
While you do that, we'll go take a rest.
We won't.
I don't know.
It's worth a try.
And also.
Don't you have?
I have a jar of the baboon.
Do I still have that?
I can't tell.
I think you used it. I thought you used it. I think I had two climbing pot the baboon. Oh, wait. Do I still have that? I can't tell. I think you used it.
I thought you used it.
I think I had two climbing potions and I used one, but I don't know if I used the other.
You just need to be able to hide, though.
Yeah.
So go do that.
Yeah, I'm going to hide under the drawbridge and try to listen in to see.
Oh, under it.
Yeah.
Okay.
So you're from the far side of the drawbridge or bridge.
You're going to get under it, climb across the bridge,
and then listen from down there
to try to figure out what the password is.
Yeah, and they're just going to hide there.
Can I give them a scroll of guidance?
So that casts guidance on them?
So are you going to cast guidance on them
or give them a scroll of guidance?
Yeah, just cast guidance on them.
There you go.
Okay.
Yeah.
And what does that do?
D4?
Yeah, it's just a...
You roll a D4 for...
It's like additional...
For an ability check. Is it one time or how long does that do? D4? Yeah, it's just a, you roll a D4 for an ability check.
Is it one time or how long does it last?
I think it's just a one-time use thing.
Yeah, you touch one of the creature once before the spell ends.
Target can roll a D4 and add the number.
Roll to one ability check of its choice.
It can roll to die before or after making the ability check.
Spell then ends.
Oh, useful.
How do you touch him?
I go in for, We can do this.
Okay, I accept.
Okay.
First of all, I'll say make a...
Let's call it an athletics check to have you scamper around under the bridge.
Okay.
I'm here to watch.
Use my inspiration.
Yeah.
That is a 13.
13?
No, it might be better.
Yeah.
Sometimes it's just a 10.
13.
Yeah. This isn't like a 10. 13. Yeah.
This isn't like the stealth check.
This is just to see if you're able to...
Keep you falling to the blood and die.
To crawl around.
Yeah, it's not easy.
It's very smooth on the bottom of the bridge,
but you're able to make your way to the far side.
Okay.
And make a stealth check.
Oh, yeah.
I know how to do these.
I'll give you advantage
because you're also under the bridge,
like out of sight. I already got advantage, but I'll take super advantage because you're also under the bridge, like out of sight.
I already got advantage, but I'll take super advantage if you want.
Nah.
No, I mean, I could, you know, hey, just give it to me.
Because, you know, those rolls might not have been that good.
He rolled bad.
What'd you get?
A 10 and an 11.
You don't have any, like, items or anything to help you out with that?
You have a plus eight.
How'd you end up with a 10 and an 11?
Rolled a two and a three.
A little out of my element.
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think I have some sort of reaction. Use your guidance.
Oh, yeah.
That's exactly what it's for.
Roll a d4 and get it.
That's plus one.
So 12.
Woo!
Remember when I said this is our rogues moment?
I remember those words.
It's my moment.
You're hanging under the bridge,
and after several minutes,
you hear footsteps approaching.
Okay.
Make a perception check.
You got to hear it.
You got to hear it.
Here's my moment.
That's a three.
I'm going to roll.
Like, without modifiers
You rolled an 811 and then have then rolled a 2 3 a 1 and a 4
I'm gonna use a lucky and I'm gonna use perception again. Oh, thank God you have lucky and that's a come on, dude
You have a negative one. That's a zero
Do you be any more lucky?
I'm going to roll another lucky.
Okay.
Oh, my gosh.
This is just...
We need this, dude.
It's my moment.
Can I try to listen from where I am because I have keen hearing?
Yes.
What's the point of me doing any of this?
No, let it happen.
Let's get through this roll chip and then, yeah, we'll get to you.
That's a two.
Oh, my God.
Do you have any more luckies?
Don't worry, Gang.
I got one more lucky.
Turns out Chip's just underwater the whole time.
He is drowning literally and like figuratively.
There's a charm.
You're using all your luck points.
Carol, if you can hear me, honey bunny, give me the power.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
That's an eight.
What does he hear with an eight?
Let's just hear what he hears with an eight.
Sa-sa.
Sa-sa.
She's.
She's.
Maybe she's.
Sa-sa.
Sa-sa.
Hold on.
Hold on.
And then you hear the footsteps receding away, going into the vamp spire.
Okay.
All right.
Then I'm going to wait until the next person comes by.
Can you wait?
Maybe.
Elga, you have some kind of...
I wanted to use my keen hearing ability.
For one minute, I have advantage on perception checks that rely on hearing.
Okay.
Okay, so I would say normally at this distance, you would have...
Advantage.
Disadvantage, because it's so far.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But your keen hearing cancels that out,
so you'll just roll a normal perception check.
So you get to just roll a good perception.
But Elga rolls good perception.
But there's two of us rolling perception, though.
Yes.
17.
Stoker.
Stoker.
Like Bram Stoker.
Stoker.
Yeah, Bram Stoker.
Mm, they make good breakfast.
Stofers.
Yep.
Since you are not under the bridge, Elga,
you know, you're up where the protesters were earlier,
you see that the people who walk up to give the password
don't say it to the Sferatu.
They whisper it to the gargoyle.
Copy.
Okay, okay.
And then they walk into the vamp spire.
Okay, so he has to get out from underneath this thing now.
And climb back to the gang.
What you hear, Chip?
Elga and I heard it together.
I think I saw her perking her ear up
and between the two of us,
we got it covered.
Yeah, okay.
Two syllables.
Stoker.
I was going to say it at the same time.
You took the words right out of my mouth.
I went faster than he was prepared.
Stoker.
Stoker, but you guys have to say it to the Gargoyles.
Gargoyle, right.
Yes.
Bettina's just shaking their head.
Hold on.
This is perfect.
Skipper just brought me another letter.
It says both of my parents just died.
The alchemist says,
Looks like you have this perfectly under control.
I'm going back to Francesca.
Okay.
Oh my gosh.
We'll be back, alchemist.
All right.
Okay, everyone knows what to do?
Yeah.
Okay, I'll still lead the way.
Okay, you all begin crossing the bridge with Elga leading the way. Could Elga just go through. Yeah. Okay. I'll still lead the way. Okay. You all begin crossing
the bridge with Elga leading the way.
Could Elga just go through? Yeah.
Elga, you walk straight through. No problem.
Did Elga talk into the thing? No.
Okay. Mateed goes to the gargoyle
and goes, Stokia.
Okay.
Oh, and I walk proudly
through. Okay. Yeah. You walk right through
and join Elga. I do.
Barney goes to the gargoyle, says,
Okay.
And then walks through.
Okay.
And then Chip walks up to the gargoyle.
Gargoyle.
The blurbable gargoyle.
I want to mess this up, but I'm not going to.
Joker.
And then I pet the gargoyle.
And then I walk through.
Okay.
It'd be real bad if you messed it up.
What'd I say?
Hey there, it's me, Chip Aimee.
Hey there, it's me, Chip Aimee.
Oh, no.
You mean Count Chip.
Yes.
Yeah.
Chippula.
Choppula.
Chippula.
All right, what happens?
As you move through the open archway,
you pass by two red-robed batfolk you recall as the Sfratu.
They pay you no mind as they chant in unison
and conjure clearly powerful magics.
Beyond them, ornate sconces of torchlight flicker across glossy black stone walls leading further
into the belly of the tower. Aromas of rotten carrion, sour, sweat, and the choking of smoke
walk through the passage. The reverberating din of shifting feet, fluttering of wings,
and the ringing of small chimes grows in your ears until finally you reach a crimson door with one word carved into the wooden grain. Tales of Dark. Elga,
a small voice suddenly whispers in your mind. Welcome home, sister.
Oh, that gave me goosebumps in real life.
Find out what happens in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
Turns out it's just a mixed identity.
Like they did not.
It was the wrong sister.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry, sorry.
My bad.
I thought you were someone else.
Tales of Doc. How do you spell that? T-A-. I thought you were someone else. Tails-a-dock.
How do you spell that?
T-A-E-L-Z-A-D-O-K.
Cods... Sorry, I'm going backwards.
All right.
Thanks for listening, everybody.
We'll see you all next week.
Oh, gosh.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Oh, dear.
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this show listeners that interact with us on social media and Discord had NPCs named after them in this episode,
like Marin the Shopkeeper, who was named by Talaya, who's a first member,
and is voiced by Keri Shawcross, at Keri Shawcross.
The Alchemist is voiced by BlizzBear, at BlizzBear, with a 3 instead of an E.
The Spiratus, voiced by David Sagnier, at David underscore Sagnier.
Francesca Esteban is voiced by Jessica Vasami at Jessica Vasami
The Mummy
aka Ryder Rajad
voiced by Hannah McCarthy
at HiHello underscore Hannah
and Hexel the Glurbian
voiced by Elise Willems
at Elise Willems
The Stinky Dragon channel
is managed by Ben Ernst
This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon
was produced by Kai Cook
written, edited, and composed
by Michael Reisinger
with additional editing work
by David Sanya
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Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of
Tales from the Stinky Dragon. You can bite.
We won't budge till we get some oversight.
People in the crowd start to shout.
You can use some workshop on that.
Bite and sight.
Come on.
Yeah, but like the rhythm, you know.
Sorry, keep going.
Keep protesting.
You can bite.
We won't budge till you
give us some new fudge. That's what I was thinking.
Micah, do you want to put...
Do you want to put it in there?
New fudge for everyone.
I saw a finger rising up into the sky.
He said it was a big thumb. Long thumb.