Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Vengeance in Vainia - C02 - Ep 36 - Speak Truth to Tower

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

The party confronts the protestors in hopes of calming down the mob! Support us at stinkydragonpod.com/first ! Join us on Discord: https://discord.gg/roosterteeth Check out our merch and follow us ...on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and more: https://linktr.ee/TalesFromTheStinkyDragon Go to http://shopify.com/dragon to sign up for a $1-per-month trial period. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Rooster Teeth production. Jubilations to all you ginger brutes! Run, run, run into the stinky dragon! Lap up our latest libation! Hide and dose seek. It's a mixture of co-cannot-catch-me milk, a slingshot of gumdrops, a forking of mapled molasses, a crumbling of ginger realms, and coffee brewed as fast as you can. One gulp of this gummy guzzler, you'll feel like one tough cookie.
Starting point is 00:00:44 Previously, our adventurers ventured into the village of Vania with fresh vows. gulp of this gummy guzzler, you'll feel like one tough cookie. Previously our adventurers ventured into the village of Vania with fresh vows. After a trip to the Vladbank, they strolled through shops, spoke with citizens, but their townly tour was interrupted by the familiar face of Francesca. Round up a refreshment, let's resume this rank recollection. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I'm Gustavo Stroll, the dungeon master of our putrid party.
Starting point is 00:01:17 I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. This week's role-playing warm-up question is... The energy is so different from last week. How does your character feel about receiving slash giving orders? Are they more of a leader or a follower? Hello. That's me saying, I'll go first. Speaking of leaders.
Starting point is 00:01:41 I am the leader of this party, Barbara Dunkelman, Elga von Brass, the half-elf vampire barbarian. And Elga, I think, is definitely a leader because she's been kind of been given orders her whole life and she's had to follow orders. And so whenever she
Starting point is 00:02:00 is separate from that, she likes to really take charge and really show her strengths which are many multitudes so you're a leader if you're not being given orders you know why don't you get out of here i just want to clarify i'll go that's all get out of my booth i used to be a follower now i'm leader i'm empowered oh gotcha gotcha I'm empowered. That makes sense. Sorry. I'll show myself out. Hey there. It's Chip Haney played by Blaine Gibson.
Starting point is 00:02:32 Chip Haney is a tiefling rogue level 7, recently widowed. What a terrible... Oh my god. Chip built his whole personality on the fact that he was happily married. And look what you did to me, Micah.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Look what you made me do. Is that how Chip's going to introduce himself now to everybody? Hey there, Chip. And he recently widowed. Yeah, yeah. He's still grieving. He's still processing. He should be.
Starting point is 00:02:57 I would say that Chip, you know, back in the day, oh, a heck of a guy. He'd take orders, you know, if he'd listen to the leader. If they deserved it. But, you know, in his days days playing sports at yamford his days of being a volunteer firefighter his days at dagger he's known to lead a group of you know ne'er-do-wells oh watch out for a bachelor party because if chip's planning it oh buddy there's something happening every 30 minutes on the dot it's gonna be a hoot's going to be a hoot and a holler. We call it like a bachelor party. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:28 There's like different names for else places. There's also like hen parties. What's the grotesque version? The monster mash. Battler party? Battler party. Yeah, that's good. Ben says maybe Beelzebub parties. Beel Bet. Ben says maybe Beelzebub parties.
Starting point is 00:03:46 Beelzebub parties. Beelzebud parties. Like they're buds. They're all dudes hanging out and doing dude things. Okay, so Chip is professing that he's more of a leader as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:57 I feel like that will not work well for us. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot? I'll shoot you, yes. Elka's got a gun. Where did she get that one? Why does half our party have firearms? Did you give it to her? I already have nine arrows in me from the last episode.
Starting point is 00:04:14 We shot ourselves crossbow bolts in your brain. You want me? Go ahead. Okay, I go. I'm John Reisinger and I play Matty Conficis, who's an air cocker and ghost monk. And,ucius, who's an air cochrane ghost monk. You know, this will come to no surprise to anybody, but I don't really subscribe to the binary
Starting point is 00:04:30 very well of this conversation. It really is like, you know, I feel in the moment and whatever it is, I'll go with it. The turd option, yeah. One, two, three. The turd option. You have such a beautiful way with the words.
Starting point is 00:04:45 It's so beautiful. Get out of there, boo! Does Matide find themselves doing one more than the other, though? Or is it pretty even in the moment? I would say Matide actually is more of a listener than a follower. I'm not necessarily going to be giving out orders, but I'm going to take into account what's going on around me. But if I'm getting impatient,
Starting point is 00:05:10 I'm going to go do things. You successfully managed a bakery. That's leadership, right? You're going to lead all those croissants around? Did you have other work? No. You were the... Yeah. The sole proprietor? Ah! Give yourself an inspiration, guys.
Starting point is 00:05:26 I already have one. Can we fire Blaine? He's fire resistant. Hey! Two for two here. This is our second recording of the day. We're on fire. Blaine and I are drinking coffee. So, Barney,
Starting point is 00:05:42 for the most, as you know, Barney, is a follower you know Barney is a Follower oh I'm Chris Damaris And I play Barney Farney the human Cleric I think the personalities are Merging between Chris and Barney like the Lines getting blurred you're just realizing That now
Starting point is 00:05:56 I was just waving to Chris Barney is for the most part a follower And that like you know he could Be walking around town and then just start following someone and not remember why or who and then be like, oh, I'm trying to be catch.
Starting point is 00:06:16 And then they finally catch up to them and then they realize they've never met them. It's like when a kid gets lost at an amusement park and they see their dad and then they just start following some random adult. You're just describing how we got Barney. Yeah, that's how it was. How we got Barney.
Starting point is 00:06:31 I think there's a lot to be said for players who describe themselves as leaders or followers and the order with which you all did this. Can I also though? I agree, Gus. Yeah, I think it says a lot. Barbara is sitting up so upright. My posture has never been better. Can I also though? I agree, Gus. Yeah, I think it says a lot. I want to...
Starting point is 00:06:45 Barbara is sitting up so upright. My posture has never been better. Yeah. But that is Barney more so as you know him for the most part. But when it comes down to it, I don't think Barney's a leader or a follower. He's, I don't want to say lone wolf, but he does his own thing and kind of stubbornly sometimes. Okay. Got a big thumbs up from John.
Starting point is 00:07:09 Is that good for the arrows? Yeah, I'm happy. Gus, are you a follower or a leader? No more arrows. I'm a leader. I'm a leader, baby. I'm a leader, baby. Lead us, Dungeon Mister.
Starting point is 00:07:18 That's right. As you all are walking over to the sign that says Aldenware, you see a crowd forming near the middle of town in front of the vamp spire. In the center are a few people shouting at the top of their lungs. Dracula? More like Dracula-lier! Uh-oh. Your own so-called leader has broken the Vainian vows himself. And yet he refuses to answer for himself!
Starting point is 00:07:40 The crowd begins to grumble and shuffle closer. You catch a glimpse of three protesters interlocking arms blocking the entrance to the Vamspire. They start shouting in unison. You can fight! We won't budge till we get some oversight! People in the crowd start to shout at the protesters. Where do you come off? Yeah, Dracula would never break the vows. Who do you think you are anyway? The protester in the center steps onto a pedestal and you finally see it's a fetching woman with green eyes, fading long auburn hair, wearing a floral patterned blouse. She looks familiar. Our names aren't important, but our cause is!
Starting point is 00:08:14 The alchemist's jaw drops. That's... that's my wife! Francesca! The crowd becomes irate and starts charging straight for the three protesters. Francesca! Everyone roll initiative. Whoa! I don't want to fight her.
Starting point is 00:08:31 Wait, do you think we're in a fight with Francesca? We had to roll initiative, right? The protesters who are protesting Dracula? Wait, yeah, was Francesca trying to... Francesca's one of the protesters. Yeah. Defending or against Dracula? We won't fight. They're fighting against Dracula.
Starting point is 00:08:44 Yeah, so they were rising up. What's the ratio? Protesters to... There's three protesters. defending or against Dracula? We won't fight. They're fighting against Dracula. Yeah. So they were rising up. What's the ratio? Protesters to... There's three protesters. To a whole crowd of people. Right. To a mob of people.
Starting point is 00:08:52 This was not a popular protest. These odds are not in their favor. Do we know what side we're on? That's what we're going to figure out with these initiatives. Probably Francesca's side. I have a question. Francesca.
Starting point is 00:09:01 Yeah. Francesca. Do not remember how we said goodbye to Francesca last time. They rode off into the desert with Henry. That's the last time you saw Francesca. Thank you. And Robert was with them.
Starting point is 00:09:15 Thank you. I remember now. Appreciate it. I have an advantage on initiative, but it's a 15. 15? What did I roll? 22 for Barney. 18 for Mateed.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Oh, thank you. 16. Sorry, there was a leak in here. Surely we'll rest before we have to go into battle after visiting the bank. Time out! Peace! Alright, you guys have won. Regret nothing. Let's go! They're gonna go down.
Starting point is 00:09:42 Barney, you're up first followed by Mateed. So can you give me the layout a little more? Like, where are we in relation to the three protesters? And also, where's the alchemist? What's he doing? The alchemist is with you all currently. I rolled initiative for him as well.
Starting point is 00:09:59 All of the protesters are outside of the VAMP spire. And you see the VAMP spire is surrounded by a moat. And there's like a bridge that connects it to the side that you are on. And the protesters are kind of blocking that bridge to enter the VAMP Spire. And it's kind of like a small semicircle courtyard. You know, they're north of you. And then between you and them is a bunch of bystanders and the mob. Okay.
Starting point is 00:10:21 The bystanders are between us and the mob? Or is it just mixed in? Yeah, they're kind of like people. Bystanders are like people who are mob or is it yeah they're kind of like people bystanders are like people who are milling about maybe they're looking you know over at the protesters but kind of like walking here to the show yeah yeah and then like feet wise like how far away you have to don't don't humor me bonus uh inspiration i guess you're about 60 feet away from the mob from i should say you're 60 60 feet away from the mob. I should say you're 60 feet away from the start of the mob and then just
Starting point is 00:10:48 beyond that like they're kind of encircling the protesters. So the protesters are a few feet away further. Maybe let's say 70 feet away. Okay. 70 feet away from me the protesters. Okay. Yeah like the mob starts 60 feet away and then the protesters are 70 feet away like in the middle of the mob. Alright. Alright. And we haven't
Starting point is 00:11:04 really determined of who we're fighting with or for. Well, what Barney should do is just fire off a giant AOE attack just at everybody. Barney should just shoot his gun into the air to get everyone to stop. I'm going to cast. Barney's going to move forward towards the group. That's what he's casting. And then he's going to cast Calm Emotions. Oh.
Starting point is 00:11:26 Good call. Bart, he's going to give everybody melatonin. Yeah. So I got a 60-foot range on it, and it's a 20-foot radius sphere. So if the 20-foot radius sphere, then that would be a 40-foot.
Starting point is 00:11:42 Yeah, that would encompass pretty much the entire mob and the protesters. I love this because he'd be like, Oh, hey, that would encompass pretty much the entire mob and the protesters. I love this because he'd be like, Oh, hey, what are we doing here? And they have to make a charisma saving throw. 17. I'll read the spell.
Starting point is 00:11:54 Okay, thank you. You attempt to suppress strong emotions in a group of people. Each humanoid in a 20 foot radius sphere centered on a point you choose within range must make a charisma saving throw. Creature can choose to fail charisma saving throw creature can choose to fail this saving throw if it wishes if a creature fails its saving throw choose one of the following two effects you can suppress any effect causing a target to be charmed or frightened when this spell ends any suppressed effect resumes provided that its duration has not expired in
Starting point is 00:12:18 the meantime alternatively you can make a target indifferent about a creature of your choice that it is hostile toward this indifference ends if the target is attacked or harmed by a spell or if it witnesses any of its friends being harmed. When the spell ends, the creature becomes hostile again until the DM rules otherwise. It's a good very timely spell to use. So your target is
Starting point is 00:12:38 the mob. Yeah. And the creatures of your choice are the protesters. Is that correct? Yeah, yeah. Is there a limit to how many creatures you can choose? It's the radius. Is that correct? Yeah, yeah. Is there a limit to how many creatures you can choose? It's the radius. Yeah, and then as far as like, do you make a target indifferent about creatures of your choice?
Starting point is 00:12:55 Yeah, so make them indifferent about the protesters, and I target the mob. Right. Okay. Roll 100 charisma checks. And I would also say... Tell me more. I would like to include the protesters about the mob to make them
Starting point is 00:13:10 indifferent towards the mob so that they don't... I don't know if you can cover both. Chip's also feeling very emotional. Can he make a movement into the sphere? Chip rolls into it. Because you choose... With the spell, you choose targets and the creatures. I think you would need two spells to have it go both ways.
Starting point is 00:13:27 All right. Well, I will do that. So it's DC 17 charisma. Is that correct? Yeah. Okay. I have plus three, so I need 14 or better. Let's see.
Starting point is 00:13:38 What'd you roll? So I kind of broke the mob up into fractions and fragments to make it easier. So I don't have to roll a bunch of different saves. So I broke them up into fractions and fragments to make it easier so I don't have to roll a bunch of different saves. So I broke them up into quarters and I rolled four times. All four rolls failed. Yay. Wow.
Starting point is 00:13:53 Remember Boss Nass in Star Wars? Peace. I got a six, a 15, a 16, and a 12. Good job. And then... What's the duration on that spell? Concentration up to one minute. Okay. So you, and a 12. Good job. And then... What's the duration on that spell? Concentration up to one minute. Okay, so you've got a minute.
Starting point is 00:14:09 A shake party. Way to go! We have one minute, so then we need to get them out of there as quickly as possible. I guess as a bonus... Set a timer for one minute. Oh my god! No, Gus! Brutal.
Starting point is 00:14:25 Do it, Gus. Let's go. You got 56 seconds. I like this. All right. So I rush. I rush. We got to get them out of here.
Starting point is 00:14:36 I rush forward to the ladies' protester, Francesca. Oh, my goodness. It's Francesca Hexel and the Mummy What? You got 30 seconds Oh no no that's not real time And then As a bonus
Starting point is 00:14:56 We're in combat That should take a long time 6 seconds And then 20 I throw a healing word at Chip I support this
Starting point is 00:15:08 how much is that for well let's see you can't cast two spells you're right you're right never mind 10 nothing I do myself
Starting point is 00:15:15 I go as far as I can and then I use my psychic thing to push myself five foot forward build a tent build a tent hot
Starting point is 00:15:22 and that's time I like how when ever Chris feels rushed he just gets louder Build a tent! Build a tent! Hot. And that's time. I like how whenever Chris feels rushed, he just gets louder. As if that's kind of like... It's faster. So I went 35 feet forward. Okay. You are more than halfway up to them.
Starting point is 00:15:39 And can I also have yelled like, Hide! Run! Get out of here! Hexel was from like the very beginning of the campaign,, they're, get out of here. Scat. Hexel was from like the very beginning of the campaign, right? No, Hexel's the glurb. Yeah. Correct.
Starting point is 00:15:50 There's a, their whole snail village was attacked by the phoenix. Yes. His character. Correct. All right. So I would say that because you cast the spell and you, you know, you kind of placated everyone that the protesters recognize you. They see you, obviously, and they recognize you, Barney. And, you know,
Starting point is 00:16:08 they kind of hunker down to try to back away from the mob as much as they can. Okay. They don't, they don't, like, hide? There's so many bystanders and the mob is, like, everywhere. It would be really difficult for them to hide. Especially because there are a lot of eyes on them. Even if they're indifferent eyes, there are still a lot of eyes on them.
Starting point is 00:16:24 Usually, when I'm indifferent, I just close my eyes. Take a nap. Yeah. I'm going to do that for the rest of this campaign. Oh, Barbara's so indifferent. Wow, look at me. No one attacked. Mateed, you're up after Mateed is chipped.
Starting point is 00:16:36 John, stop. I said no one attacked. And John gave me a look like. John's their own bird. They can do whatever they want. Attack yourself if you want. I can't. I'll die. That's why I healed Chip.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Why I couldn't. One HP. Okay. So Francesca and Hexel and the mummy are the furthest from us. Yeah, they're like in the middle of the mob. They're at the bridge.
Starting point is 00:17:05 And is there something I can do? I think I have a mustache, hair in my mouth. Is there something I can do? Yeah, sorry. It helped your accent. Very good, Barbara. I want to try to determine if this is odd, that the three of them are there and protesting.
Starting point is 00:17:23 I don't understand what this protest is about. It seems like they're mad at Dracula claiming that he has broken the Vania vows himself. I don't know what those are. Probably because they're being subject to them. You read them. Oh. Ironic. And hypocritical. Hexel, Mummy, and Francesca
Starting point is 00:17:39 are mad that Dracula broke those vows and the mob disagrees that Dracula hasn't broken those vows. It seems like they don't want to listen to anything. It sounds, it's like a slander. Okay, okay, yeah, yeah. Okay, thank you. Appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:17:53 Can I check to see if like, I don't know, is this actually them? Are they being controlled? Is there, it just feels odd. Dark magic. Yeah, I don't have to detect magic. You do like insight. Yeah, I'll do a little
Starting point is 00:18:05 bit of an insight do i get anything like advantage we'll give you advantage because you know these three people i think i might have something maybe but yeah i'll take it anyways just because you're being so sweet just a sweet little dungeon mister that was a 10 and a 6 eight. So two bad rolls. It doesn't seem like they're under any control or duress. They seem to be themselves. Okay. This mob, they're just regular humanoids? Yeah, various humanoids. People, you know, walking around.
Starting point is 00:18:34 Nothing out of the ordinary. Okay. I'm going to take to the skies. And I'm going to... I guess the farthest I can get to them. I can go 120 if I double? If you move 60, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:46 Would that get me to them? Yeah, because 60 would be you'd get at the mob, but you'd be like 10 feet short of the protesters. Okay, I guess I will land with the protesters. Join them. Vive la résistance. De la reculure. Petit has a guillotine
Starting point is 00:19:05 Parisians love a good protest We're all about it Just out of curiosity Side question Is Dracula spelled The normal way Or how do we spell Dracula D-R-A-C-U-L-A
Starting point is 00:19:17 Okay I was gonna say If you did like a K Or something I'd be like Get out of town Just make it a G Dragula
Starting point is 00:19:24 Dragula Oh I like that Yeah And then I will I'll, get out of town. Just make it a G. Dragula? Dragula. Oh, I like that. And then I will... I'll cast Visage of the Astral Self. What that does is as a bonus action or as part of a bonus action, I can make my face glow with that Visage.
Starting point is 00:19:37 And that gives me Wisdom of the Spirit, which gives me advantage on intimidation checks. Could I actually cast that alongside arms of the astral self so that it's all a big display? Like, you know, it's very cool. Matide flies up and then lands
Starting point is 00:19:53 like dramatically next to the protesters and then glows and bursts open with all these extra wings that are glowing and tells the mob, oh, what can I say to tell them to intimidate them? The protesters?
Starting point is 00:20:10 Yeah, the mob. You have garlic bread. There's something about Dracula being like, you know, appreciates your support, but wants you to get back to work. Get back to work. Or go back, you know, like go home. Go back your day.
Starting point is 00:20:26 I'll just yell out, I advise you to disperse before this gets ugly. Ooh, intimidation. If someone throws a single rock, you die. They don't know that. Shut up, Joe. You just go, all right. Yeah, make your intimidation check. Come on, you can do it.
Starting point is 00:20:43 I am going to do it. I know you can do it. I got a plus two. I'm just saying you can do it. I am going to do it. I know you can do it. I got a plus two. I'm just saying you can. Elga gives Matita a thumbs up. Ooh. It's a hearty, venient thumbs up. Who got this?
Starting point is 00:20:53 19. Ooh. That's really good. Let's see if they're moved by this or not. Guess it's my liege. It's the gender neutral term instead of king and queen. I love it. My liege.
Starting point is 00:21:04 I love it. i did the four roll thing again how'd you do 11 139 they're scared not very good not very good out of 40 20s wow yeah the mob seems to like take a pause and like look around a little bit you know they know that they have way superior numbers on you but this is actually very intimidating. Yeah, I know. Yeah. And then I'm not going to actually do any sort of attacks
Starting point is 00:21:33 as much as I want to but I am going to do, I'm going to use my unarmored defense. No, not unarmored defense. I'm going to use my patient defense and spend a ki point to take the dodge action. Okay. It'd be really funny if they called you bluff and you go down in one hit. That is why I'm using the patient defense.
Starting point is 00:21:53 All right. You're the patient and this is the defense. I assume that's it for you, Mateed. Oui. Okay. Chip, you're up. Then Elga. Then the mob. Then the alchemist.
Starting point is 00:22:01 Are they done? Are they dispersing or are they still? They seem like they're taking a moment to like reassess the situation. Okay, then I'm going to use darkness and I'm going to center it kind of amongst the mob, but also encapsulate the three protesters. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:22:20 Just to just make this like big, you can't see anything. And I feel like this is kind of like a, I do it so quickly after Mateed's threat that it almost seems like that's a part of it. Yeah, like lights out. Yeah, so I do that. So it's a, you have a 60 foot range
Starting point is 00:22:36 and you make a 15 foot radius sphere, which I believe covers them all. The 20 foot radius thing did. Yeah, the 15 foot radius will also cover the entire mob. Creature with dark vision can't see through this darkness no magical light can't illuminate it okay and then i'm gonna move a little bit closer and then i'm also going to use his singing voice i have this we're we're working to replace Micah's vocals. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:06 It's not going well. If you need some vocals, just let us know. We're here for you, bud. God, I have this thing. Is it Thaumaturgy? Thaumaturgy, right? I think it's pronounced Thaumaturgy. Thaumaturgy.
Starting point is 00:23:16 Thaumaturgy. Manifest a minor wonder, a sign of supernatural power, then range, create one of the following magical effects. I think your voice booms up to three times as loud as normal for one minute. Oh yeah, I can do that too. I should have done that. I don't know that you can do both darkness and thaumaturgy. Is that not a bonus action?
Starting point is 00:23:33 They're both listed as actions. I see. Okay. You got a loud voice anyway. Yeah, I'm going to use my loud voice. And regardless of the thaumaturgy, I'll say like something very official sounding I'm gonna summon my volunteer firefighter days
Starting point is 00:23:49 you know like conducting the citizenry and just be like you know disperse immediately oh in a very intimidating way yeah alarm alarm alarm that's definitely an intimidation check okay let me roll that uh it's a 15 you have a plus 10 on that I have a plus 10 wow Alarm, alarm. That's definitely an intimidation check. Okay, let me roll that.
Starting point is 00:24:06 It's a 15. You have a plus 10 on that? I have a plus 10. Wow. He's our charisma person. I'm going to use my inspiration. Oh, okay. Go for it.
Starting point is 00:24:16 There you go. That's a 22. 22. My rolls against it were 4, 10, 10, 15. Not a good day for rolls over here. Nope. Okay, yeah. You can't see what's happening as a result of that because it's dark.
Starting point is 00:24:27 They're just bumping into each other. Even Chip can't see. Yeah, dark vision does not work inside of it. I just guess I'd imagine like if it was his spell. I think I can see in it. Can you? We keep talking about that where I have the eyes that can see through magical darkness. Ooh. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:24:44 If I put on my scarf. You'll be very dapper. Well, I have a scarf that's like, I don't need to see, I can hear. Oh, right. But I don't have it equipped because I have to like attune it. But is it a shadow shawl? It's astral sight.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Astral sight, yeah. It's part of your visage of the astral self. But it's so OP. You see normally in darkness, both magical and non-magical to a distance of 120 feet. Yeah. It's part of your visage of the astral self. Mateed's so OP. You see normally in darkness both magical and non-magical to a distance
Starting point is 00:25:08 of 120 feet. Yeah. Thank you Micah for finding that. So could Mateed essentially communicate with us what's happening if they wanted to?
Starting point is 00:25:14 Yeah. Mateed you see that the crowd does appear to be you know stepping back and dispersing a bit. Thanks for the information Mateed.
Starting point is 00:25:22 It's not working. I think you need to attack them. Call in artillery. Although if it's dark, they're just gonna start Elga, just run in and start swinging. Yeah, they're just gonna start showing. She holds her fists out
Starting point is 00:25:36 and spins and just starts slugging this Tasmanian devil into the thing. I love that. Is that it for you, Chip? Yeah, I don't have any heals. Okay. Elga, you're up, followed by the mob and the alchemist. Okay. Elga, in a surprising turn of events, does not want to use violence. What?
Starting point is 00:25:52 In this situation. Could she get up on that platform where Francesca was? It's in darkness currently. Okay. It's in the magical darkness. Could she just try to get up high somewhere? Yeah, there's like various barrels and boxes. You know, this is like a kind of like, it seems like a trade center.
Starting point is 00:26:07 Okay. So you could find like some boxes to climb up on it. Yeah, she'll move to a box where like she could get above the people if possible. Yeah. And then she wants to project in her loudest voice. People of Vania, there is no need to fight. It is me Elga Von Breath I know you may have never seen me
Starting point is 00:26:29 Because I've never left The Vamp Spire But I'm here to tell you We must be peaceful There's no need For violence Especially towards my bird friend And purple friend.
Starting point is 00:26:45 But they are very weak right now. Oh, no. Oh, no. Well, Gus, I think that's a triple advantage on that. Well, that's definitely advantage on that for sure. That's not intimidation. That's persuasion. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:56 So you make it a persuasion check with advantage. What's your modifier for persuasion? Not great. Plus one. That's not bad. I'm going to use my inspiration die. The barbarians doesn't have a high persuasion modifier? Seven and a nine. Normally i'm gonna use my inspiration die the barbarians doesn't have a high persuasion seven and a nine normally i think the axe does the persuading
Starting point is 00:27:09 okay well i guess it's a nine is my highest roll that tracks so i'm trying to think about this if you have advantage and use an inspiration die do you just re-roll one of the inspiration roll i'm saying do you just re-roll one of the advantage rolls or do you re-roll both of them does the inspiration die cancel out the whole action why don't i just-roll one of the advantage rolls or do you re-roll both of them? Does the inspiration die cancel out the whole action? Right. Let's see what one more roll will do.
Starting point is 00:27:28 Let's see what one more looks like. Ooh, 14. It does. Yeah. You can't see them, Elga. Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:34 You think you did a good job. Okay. That's just Elga's confidence. Yeah. Is that it for you, Elga? Yes. All right. It's the mob's turn
Starting point is 00:27:42 and you see them begin emerging from the darkness and trying to blend in with the bystanders and leave the area and go about their regular business. Success! We'll never know who really truly convinced them. The alchemist starts running up,
Starting point is 00:27:59 trying to get closer to Francesca. I stop concentration on darkness so that the darkness disperses. He jumps into the boat and just runs off the bridge. Oh yeah, he runs straight up to Francesca.
Starting point is 00:28:16 I'll give you everyone the choice. You can each have either an inspiration die or five temporary hit points. I'll take the inspiration die. I don't even have the inspiration die. I'll take the inspo. I'll take the hit. It's so desperately trying to give you guys HP. I'm not joking. I'm taking it.
Starting point is 00:28:36 What happens? I'm sure we've talked about it at some point. What happens if Matit dies? You're still about to find out. You still go to saving throw. Yeah, Death saves. I watched the, Chip watches the alchemist
Starting point is 00:28:48 and Francesca unite. Francesca. And then he gets close to Mateen's like, I need a hug. Be very careful with this hug. Don't squeeze too hard.
Starting point is 00:29:01 No promises. It's just like that kind of a hug where like, yes, your arms are each other but there's like clearly a distance between the body so you're just kind of like tapping arms that's a good hug that's that's how i live my life oh i mean if that's what matide would go for but for uh uh chip would go in for like one of those deep sobbing heaving you feel the moisture of my tears and snot collecting on your shoulder hugs. Come on.
Starting point is 00:29:27 He needs this. He needs this. There, there, there. Well, this is one of my hugs. Yeah. What do you all want to do? I guess at this point, you know, the protesters are there. The alchemist is up there with Francesca.
Starting point is 00:29:42 You guys are kind of standing in the courtyard. So, should we get the coffee? Want to go back shopping? Yes. What are you doing, Francesca and Hexel and Mummy? What are you doing? Mummy. Mummy. I just like
Starting point is 00:29:59 saying Mummy. It's funny. Obviously, Hexel, Mummy, Francesca, they all know you. Your timing could not have been more perfect. Yeah, we know. We each have our own motivations, our own reasons to be here, and we decided to unite our voices, try to effect change here, and to get to the bottom of this. What's the beef with Dracula?
Starting point is 00:30:22 Well, we've heard rumors about Dracula, and we have suspicions that Eddie may have been snuck into the Vamspire by Count Dracula. Oh. We've got to cancel Count Dracula, then. Why would he want to smuggle Eddie in? And you know, of course, that Eddie has wronged all of us, and no doubt he is up to something again. There have been rumors and sightings from locals that a stranger entered Vania less than a week ago,
Starting point is 00:30:46 and they describe him as a person being sinewy, yet muscular, with green features, and laughs a lot. That sounds like Eddie, yeah. It fits the profile. There are also rumors that this stranger brought a gift, and suddenly the village was flush with gems. And just like that, the sightings of the stranger went quiet. I mean, he did have the mold. Oh, smart. You have a resident of the Vamspire with you.
Starting point is 00:31:16 Perhaps you and your friends can infiltrate the Vamspire, find Count Dracula, and plead our case to him. Then we can find Eddie and take our revenge. Distract. That sounds fair to me. Elgo looks around and he goes, oh, right. Yes. I got a very important question for the three of you, okay?
Starting point is 00:31:37 One, two, three. Do you have any healing? Potions? Some special spells? No, but that is a great point before you enter the vamp spire it would behoove you to look around in local shops to try and find some equipment and stock up maybe find any rumors or word of mouth that may help you in your journey to the vamp spire we'd also take payment for saving you because you were about to get dunked into that moat down there. Just saying. How much do volunteer firefighters make from the people whose houses we save?
Starting point is 00:32:15 What's the going rate on that? I was also a professional assassin, don't forget. I'm a little emotionally in hinge right now. I'm a little emotionally in hinge right now. This is all while Chip is still embracing Mateen, just turning his head around to say all this. And bleeding profusely. I like the idea too that Mateen is getting squeezed more and more and their head is getting like blue.
Starting point is 00:32:37 Yeah. And don't forget that most residents in the Vamp Spire are vampires. So it would behoove you, or most of you, to find some kind of disguise to blend in. They really like that word, behoove. It's a good word, behoove. You should just turn Chip into a vampire. What's the big deal?
Starting point is 00:32:55 I'm trying. What? What? What? What led you to believe that the protesting would convince the people to rise against Dracula? We thought that once the people realized that Dracula imposes all these rules on them, that he does not follow himself,
Starting point is 00:33:15 that they would want to rise up and bring about change to make things more equal. Anyways, let's go get you guys some cloaks. Yeah, let's go. We should add to the village. And we can find some supplies. We can find some information and maybe take a nap or four. It might be behoove the three of you to find a place to lie low because you've kind of angered a lot of people. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:41 I like how Chris said, it might be behoove. When you hear a word, but you're not quite sure what the word means. I know what the word means. I just don't talk so good. I only write good. Right.
Starting point is 00:33:56 The alchemist chimes in and says, if it's okay with you, I'll stay here with Francesca and make sure that she's okay. Oh yeah? You're staying with your wife? That's nice. That must be nice. That must feel good, huh? Huh, alchemist?'s okay. Oh, yeah? You're staying with your wife? That's nice.
Starting point is 00:34:05 That must be nice. That must feel good, huh? Huh, Alchemist? It does. Yeah, I bet. But where's... Go somewhere not in the middle town. Oh, yes. We're going.
Starting point is 00:34:14 If you need a hut, I'll make you one. No. No. We're good. This is good. Then we can stop forgetting that he's with us. Could Elga look at her cloak and see if there's like a tag on it i was like where it's from other than your name written inside of it yeah you take a look at it and there is no no tag
Starting point is 00:34:32 but you know it's because that um your clothing is made bespoke within vamp spire specifically for you only the best is elga a nepo baby uh what am i I getting? I can't access my bank account. Nepo baby. Daddy canceled my cards, okay? Should we go to the mantle place and get you that sash, or should we go try something like the olden wear place? We were about to go to olden wear. I would say let's see what all we have available for purchase,
Starting point is 00:35:04 and then decide from there. Okay. The one thing I don't want is to buy like some stupid scarf and then find out like this is the knife of whatever and it's like the perfect thing. Knife of everyone dies. Before they leave, can I ask the protesters, do you all have any currency that we could use to prepare for this quest?
Starting point is 00:35:25 No. We came straight here as soon as we entered Fania to engage in our protest. Name one of the protesters. It's the mummy. It's... No, no, no. He's talking to the protesters. Oh, okay. I thought he was talking... My brain was like, is Barney talking to the mob
Starting point is 00:35:41 asking them for money? No, no, no. I broke there. It's Mummy. It's Elise's character. And then Hexel. And then Francesca. Yeah. Can we just call you Elise?
Starting point is 00:35:54 No, I'm just kidding. Sorry. I didn't mean to do that. It's just how I connect sometimes is remembering the voices. Yeah, yeah. Because we don't get to hear the voices while we're performing. Correct. It's always a nice surprise.
Starting point is 00:36:03 Yeah. I'd say Chip would like to go to the Wres store if they don't have anything else to offer. I kind of try to shake them down for money or anything and heals and they wouldn't budge. Let's go. Everyone heads over to Aldenwares. Yeah. You walk over and inside is a dusty shop with rows of glass cases housing rare trinkets and jewelry. A sign at the counter reads in small red lettering,
Starting point is 00:36:26 now selling gems. There's a gray-haired dwarf with golden eyes wearing a silk gray suit standing there. Welcome. I'm Duffy Alden. Oh. Duffy? Yeah, Duffy Alden.
Starting point is 00:36:36 This is Alden Wires. It's my place. Is this due to the acupar voices down, Duffy? Just to keep stuff between you and me, right? Oh. Or just to us. Yeah just between us. You using me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:48 Yeah we're using me. Duffy what kind of stuff are you selling? Yeah you know gems. They're in stock. Gems or gems? We're trying a real fine line not to go down that road. Is it gems or gems? Gems. Gems.
Starting point is 00:37:04 Right here he points at the sign g-e-m-s gems that's how i have always read it any any weapons or any of these gems have uh the powers oh yeah you know it you know it uh here here here look we got uh some stuff on sale we got uh the ring of springtime here a necklace Necklace of Neck Saving, and then full price, not on sale, we got the Ring of Animal Influence, Ring of Evasion, Ring of Protection, and a Ring of Resistance. Do you have like a necklace of resurrecting wife, dead wife, anything like that? He looks at his wares again. No, but I got some gems.
Starting point is 00:37:39 And he holds like a handful of just like bulk gems in his hand. When did you get those gems? Oh, they're new. They're a recent acquisition. Interesting. You know, maybe if you cross my palm with a little HP, I can tell you where that came from. How much HP?
Starting point is 00:37:55 I don't know. What you got? Yeah, how much we got? I'm sorry. I just had a moment where I realized that it's HP is health points, but also it's the pieces. Yeah, it's the pieces. Oh, that's funny.
Starting point is 00:38:07 It works both ways. What are they called again? Hemo points? Hemo pieces? Hemo pieces? Yeah. Hemo pieces. That's funny because at first I thought you were like meta-ing it, but no.
Starting point is 00:38:18 No, no, no. I think that's interesting. Let me ask you, how much is this? Was it a ring of neck saving? Necklace of neck saving. How much was this necklace? 75 HP. Oh. You see it.
Starting point is 00:38:33 It's very ornate. It's a lavish necklace of ruby beads, each in the shape of a vital organ. It says you spend a charge on this thing and put it on the neck of a creature that died in the last minute and cast Revivify. Oh, that's why it's expensive. Could have creature that died in the last minute and cast Revivify. Oh, that's why it's expensive. Could've used that about, you know, three episodes ago. Three episodes. Why don't you guys just combine? But be warned, casting the spell comes at a great cost.
Starting point is 00:38:56 Yeah, 75 HP. What else do they have? You said you have some rings? A ring of springtime? That's on sale. And then full price, you've got a ring of animal influence, ring of evasion, ring of protection, and ring of resistance. And gems.
Starting point is 00:39:12 He holds up two hands full of gems now. I find this interesting that your economy seems to be based around these HP things, but you also took gems as a payment. Is that something we could figure out here? You can give me HP for gems. I'm asking about, since gems clearly are valuable, would I be able to
Starting point is 00:39:30 provide you a gem in order to exchange some currency? You can exchange currency at the Blood Bonk. Okay, I guess yours is going. He's a brick wall. Aren't gems pretty? Is that all they are to you? Why are they... I feel like if the gems... They're so sparkly. Oh, God, Gus.
Starting point is 00:39:46 I think he's saying no. I keep staring at them. I have one right here. Would you like this one? Ooh. But then he looks... He's got, like I said, he has two handfuls of gems. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:39:56 He gets distracted looking at his own hands. Where did you get all those gems? Give me a few HP and I'll let you know. Oh, my God. Good Lord. I give him... It's a long look between John and Blaine
Starting point is 00:40:07 to get some information. Start lower. Start lower. I give him two. Just flick him one HP. You give him two HP. He says, oh, I'm much obliged. You see, a few counts from the Vamspire came in here in the last few days with some rare gems I've never seen before. Rumor is they've got a wand that
Starting point is 00:40:23 creates gems out of nothing. Was one of those counts Count Von Brath? I don't, can't say. I don't think so. Okay. What's like the standing of a count in this place? Is this, they're like, like government officials or what? Oh, very, very high in the, in the order of things. Very well to do. But this, this is, oh, this is too rich for my blood. What does the ring of springtime do? You look at it and it's a ring crafted from Ignis glass
Starting point is 00:40:52 and looks like it has running little red rivlets throughout it. See this? You put this on and it can transform your body into a mature adult in their prime. Barbra's face! Oh my gosh. So metagame-wise, you have to use an action to activate it.
Starting point is 00:41:08 Okay. And while it's active, you have advantage on all ability checks, skill checks, and saving throws, but not attacks. Could you, is it just like a one-time use thing? It can be used once per long rest. Does it work both ways? I was going to say. I'm sure it does.
Starting point is 00:41:21 Like it ages him down? Yeah, yeah. Barney, I think that actually sounds pretty good for you. I think it sounds pretty good for you too. I mean, what are you guys going to pay with it for? Yeah. What's how much is it? Oh, that's only 50 HP.
Starting point is 00:41:34 Hmm. What are the other items that they have for sale? The ring of animal influence, the ring of evasion, ring of protection, and ring of resistance. And like what are those? And of course the necklace of Nixie. Those probably all cast those spells. Yeah, but I don't know what those spells do, Jon. Hold on, let me load them all up and I'll tell you.
Starting point is 00:41:51 Do these require a tournament? Some of them do. The ring of springtime does. The ring of animal influence, while wearing this ring, you can use an action to expend a charge to cast animal friendship, fear, or speak with animals. Ring of evasion has three charges. When you fail a dexterity saving throw while wearing it,
Starting point is 00:42:08 you can use your reaction to expend one charge to succeed on that throw instead. Ring of Protection, you get plus one bonus to armor class and saving throws while wearing the ring. And a Ring of Resistance, you get resistance to one damage type while wearing the ring. Which ones require attunement? The Ring of Springtime, the ring of evasion, the ring of protection, and the ring of resistance.
Starting point is 00:42:27 How much for the ring of protection? Oh, I'll let that go for 100 HP. You're crazy. No, I'm a businessman. Could I put the ring of springtime on hold? Yeah, what kind of down payment you got? Layaway? Oh, I was just going to go swing by the bank.
Starting point is 00:42:39 Oh, okay, okay, yeah. I'll be right here. Yeah, yeah. Can I try something? No. I don't know if I could do this simultaneously just to speed it up. Could I go to the bank or bonk? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:49 Why don't you go ahead and do that? Roll your damage and then give us a summary while I deal with Chris here. Okay. And we can role play that on the side as soon as I'm done here. I wanted to cast fast friends on this guy. There's alarms are going to go off. So fast friends, you cast a spell choose one humanoid within range. So it's a
Starting point is 00:43:08 humanoid target. I got to double check and make sure Alden qualifies as a dwarf isn't he? Yeah yeah great dwarf you're right. Okay so you just make him friend leaf up to you for up to an hour. Yeah and it's when you need to make sure something gets done you can't rely on vague promises
Starting point is 00:43:24 sworn oaths or binding promise. You cast a spell choose one human something gets done, you can't rely on vague promises, sworn oaths, or binding promises. You cast a spell, choose one humanoid within range that you can see and hear you and that can understand you. Creature must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or become charmed by you for the duration. While the creature is charmed in this way, it undertakes to perform any service or activities. You ask in a friendly manner to the best of its ability.
Starting point is 00:43:42 Barney's going to rob this guy. Wisdom saving throw. And I think an important thing is at the bottom, when the spell ends, the creature knows it was charmed by you. Okay. So yeah, I guess I make this wisdom saving throw. Okay. It's a DC 17 wisdom saving throw.
Starting point is 00:43:59 Rolling. Rolling. You. I rolled a one. Wow. I rolled a one I rolled a one This has not been a good day for me So you cast fast friends on him
Starting point is 00:44:10 Listen My friend Oh friends yeah I mean we're How's the family It's so good and it's great to see you We're in this Place with the vampires Why not see you. And, you know, it's like we're in this place with the vampires.
Starting point is 00:44:25 Oh, yeah. Me too. Why not? Why can't we just, you know, deal with things on, like, a non-blood manner, you know? So here, let me give you, let me give you, I'd happily give you some trades and gold for. What do you got, friend? Well, I got gold and I i hear have you seen the uh i got this what a scarf of the sightless wow what about that and he points at your hide and seek
Starting point is 00:44:54 doll well i could happily let that go oh i'll give you uh we can make a little trade i'll give you 10 hp for that uh i was looking more for that spring ring. Oh, no, you're crazy. I just want to put on hold. That's not a friendly thing to say. That's not very friendly. That's not very... Yeah, it's like, you're a crazy guy. Yeah, but you know, for me? You know, if you want to trade that
Starting point is 00:45:17 clothing, you can go over to Marin. He'll maybe trade you for some clothing. Who? Marin? For Marin's Mantlery? The third person. Oh. I guess, what do I need to get that ring? The spring ring?
Starting point is 00:45:30 50 HP. No, but like... Just real fast, I do think Elga has it on hold, and Elga just finished up her damage rolls, I believe. Do they only have one? Yes. Elga went to the Vlad Bonk. How'd that go? How'd that go? Yeah. It'll go into the Vlad Bonk. How'd that go? How'd that go?
Starting point is 00:45:45 Yeah. So I got the 50 HP. I actually got 53. Or 50, yeah, 53. How are you feeling? Not so great. Probably better than us, though. I used my ass to the scarab,
Starting point is 00:45:59 and I just kind of let it go back and forth and back and forth, slicing me up. Does it give you a new appreciation when you attack people? A little bit. Alright, we'll stay here in a little while. Elgo will finish and come back, but for now, it's still you haggling, Barney. Yeah, I guess it was like, are there two of them? Because I wouldn't have cast this if there...
Starting point is 00:46:15 No, there's only one. It was in Rings of the Springtime. It's Ring of Springtime. Well, I don't get it. I wouldn't... Like, I started casting this. I mean, I did say I'm putting the ring on hold and going to go get the blood for it. Or HP for it.
Starting point is 00:46:32 Yeah, and I didn't know that's what you were going after. You didn't say that from the beginning. Is there anything else you would... Go anywhere, friend. We trade. I'll take that guardian emblem from you, too. For what? 15 HP. Well, I'm curious about the extent of the spell like in terms of like if he's supposed to do stuff that like any any of my wish like wishes and stuff would he not then trade for something other than the blood well it undertakes to perform any service or activity
Starting point is 00:47:01 you ask of it in a friendly manner to the best of its ability. The problem is that in this town of Vania, precious metals are, they're worthless. Like he's trying to meet you in the middle here by making these trades. Like I think the intended spell isn't like you rob someone blind. It's like they're more pliable and willing to try to figure things out with you.
Starting point is 00:47:20 Yeah, and I'm not trying to rob them. I'm just trying to. But they're like gold and platinum. I'm like, that's like giving him a rock. You know? He can't do anything with that here in Vania. Okay, well then what does he need to... I'll tell you what.
Starting point is 00:47:33 Hindsink doll and guardian emblem, just because we're friends. Instead of 25 HP, I'll give you 40 HP for the two. I dig that deal. That's pretty good. Actually, at this point, Elgo walks back in. Elgo seems a little more pale than normal. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:50 Gotta do what you gotta do. My father will tell her about this. Just lunges at Chip and takes his last HP. Wandering of springtime, sir. Oh, yes, yes, yes The lady will be wearing it out Thank you very much Could you cut the tag off?
Starting point is 00:48:11 Not to wear it out He opens up the glass case and pulls it out 50 HP Okay, here you go Yeah, there you go And metagame-wise, if you look, you should be able to add it to your inventory Ring of springtime Okay
Starting point is 00:48:23 You know, if you have to lose something that, you know, was in tune to you, you know, that Fangfrost is pretty nice. Just saying. That's a very interesting perspective. I bet you she could get a lot of HP for it. What does he have that doesn't require attunement? The Necklace of Neck Saving, the Ring of Animal Influence, and that's it. All right.
Starting point is 00:48:44 I'll trade for the, how much blood points? 40. Okay. HP, not blood. Nemo pieces. We should have just dragged the goblin's butt here.
Starting point is 00:48:53 Just go ahead and take the hide and seek doll and the guardian emblem out of your inventory, and you can, I'll give you 40 HP for that. Okay. That's just endless money. Shopping spree. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:04 Are we done here? I am. Yeah. So we've been to the vineyard, the mantle place, oldenware. What's left, Gus? Two places? We have the Lowe's hanging fruit. Lowe's hanging fruit and...
Starting point is 00:49:17 So I mentioned this in second wind and we might have to do some pickup for it. I kept saying vineyard. It should be vineyard. Vineyard. That makes more sense. When you see like a word that's close to a word you're used to, to do some pickup for it. I kept saying vineyard. It should be vineyard. Vineyard. That makes more sense. Vineyard, yeah. When you see like a word that's close to a word you're used to, like my brain was just kind of broken.
Starting point is 00:49:30 I think I was saying vineyard the whole time. Anyway, there was the vladbank, which you went to. Oh, okay. So is it just low-hanging fruit? Low-hanging fruit, oldenwares, marron's mantelry,
Starting point is 00:49:41 and vineyard valhalla. Okay, let's go to low- Hanging Fruit and see what's there. Can I say something to Elga? Yeah, go for it. Elga, I'd like to apologize. For what? This ring that would take you back to the the creature that took my family from me. For them to see me as I once was.
Starting point is 00:50:13 And as I should have been whenever I... And for me to want to have... Barney, I have no idea what you're trying to tell me. want to have... Barney, I have no idea what you're trying to tell me. For me to want to have taken to wish back my youth when it was robbed from you, when I
Starting point is 00:50:31 wasted away mine. It's just, I'm sorry. I think I accept your apology. But I'm not quite sure. It's okay. Thank you, Barney. Yeah. Let's go to Lowe's. I will drain quite sure. It's okay. Thank you, Barney. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:46 Let's go to Lowe's. I will drain you last. Hey, little stinkers. Want to give you a quick update as to what's going on in the stinky world? We've got our next live stream, March 1st, 1 p.m. Central Time at stinkydragonpod.com slash live.
Starting point is 00:51:01 Come join the crew in the dungeon diving, monster fighting, loot collecting game of Munchkin. Chat will be enabled for first members only, so come hang out and if you're a first member, you can help us decide who we should backstab and take all the treasure from. Only one Munchkin can be left standing. March 11th at 4pm Central Time, we'll have our next
Starting point is 00:51:16 exclusive first Discord event at StinkyDragonPod.com slash Discord. Join the Stinky Dragon cast in our first ever Am I the Stinker event, where I'm going to be talking with players and judge whether D&D rules lawyering is justified or not. Audience participation and examples are encouraged. We'll be letting you know if you're the stinker.
Starting point is 00:51:31 We're also doing a super special live stream March 21st at 10 a.m. Central time at stinkydragonpod.com slash live to celebrate the release of our Groteth dice set. And that's right. The official Groteth dice set will be dropping March 21st, 10 a.m. at stinkydragonpod.com slash store. Our last set, the infinite one sold out quickly, so set your alarms.
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Starting point is 00:52:42 store. You can interact with us on the Rooster Teeth Discord. Just go to stinkydragonpod.com slash discord to join. Make sure you follow Stinky Dragon Pod on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook, or over on Reddit at the Stinky Dragon Podcast subreddit. Just as a heads up, I'll be joining some cast members from Camp Camp doing a live stream February 26th, 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Just as a heads up, it is promoting the new season of Camp Camp, which kicks off March 1st.
Starting point is 00:53:06 That is a little different than Tales from the Stinky Dragon. That's a little more of a mature themed show. So make sure you plan accordingly. And you can check that out over on riskyourteeth.com. Again, February 26th, 11 a.m. Selling a little or a lot? Shopify helps you do your thing,
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Starting point is 00:54:27 Shopify.com slash dragon. It's just, Elka has a list that she's constantly like crossing out and realigning everything like that. Every day. It's a constant realignment. But Matito is not even on the list. Not even on the list, yeah. It's just Marty and Chip swapping back and forth. Oh, so that means you're going to drain Chip first.
Starting point is 00:54:53 Chip's just looking through the shop window, waving, smiling, waving. He doesn't have much blood left. I've already tasted it. So you head over to the shop that has a sign that says Lowe's Hanging Fruit. Inside is a moist, sweet-smelling greenhouse made of black glass. Hanging from the ceiling are trees, upside-down trees, bearing various fruits. And inside you see a male orc with red eyes and calloused hands wearing overalls who seems to be pruning some of the trees. Bonjour.
Starting point is 00:55:23 Bonjour. You speak Parish? Parish? No, I don't. Oh. I think he just copied you. Oh, okay. It's called code switching.
Starting point is 00:55:33 Hello, we are here to see what you're wearing. We are new in town and we'd love to know what you sell. It seems you have some sort of interesting agricultural things happening here. Here? Yeah, yeah. I have some seasonal hanging fruit for sale. Could I interest you in some? I have Vlad Orange, Glareberry,
Starting point is 00:55:52 and Mortap. I wonder, is it like Vlad the Impaler? Like a blood orange? Yeah, but like nothing Vlad. Vlad, yeah. That's what Dracula's based off of. Are you named Lowe's? What's your name? Name? Lowe. you named Lowe's? What's your name? Name?
Starting point is 00:56:05 Lowe. Yeah, Lowe. Hey, Lowe. God, Chip, any pleasure to meet you. Hi, Lowe. You can say Lowe. Hey, Lowe. Hey, Lowe.
Starting point is 00:56:15 What are the effects of these three fruits, these hanging fruits? Fruits. The blood orange grants the effects of false death for one minute. What if you seek real death, you know? It's dark, but every orifice on your body oozes scarlet juice for the duration. This glary berry metagame gives you advantage on perception
Starting point is 00:56:35 intimidation checks, but you can't blink for the duration. They're my favorite judge on the British Bake Off. And then you're blinded for one minute. Oh. Because your eyes need to rest. And finally, this Mort Apple gives you the effects of Feign Death, but only for five minutes. So one's Feign Death,
Starting point is 00:56:50 the other one is False Death. They're specific D&D spells, so they have different abilities. If you want, I can go over them, or you can read them. How much are you charging for your fruits? Fruits? Five HP each.
Starting point is 00:57:03 I'm sorry. I can't have to call Zot. You keep repeating when we say fruits. Do you sell something other than fruits yet? Here. No, no, no. Just fruits. Is this town full of sketchy people?
Starting point is 00:57:14 I'm not quite sure. Every shop owner seems to have a quirk to them. I didn't mean to interrupt your transaction if you're trying to figure out something. Well, technically I only have three left, so I count to four. I can donate two coins to HP. What was the one that you said? He's been donating blood this entire campaign.
Starting point is 00:57:32 Gives you advantage on, was it strength and perception? Perception and intimidation checks. It's the Glary Berry. You get blinded, though. It's a pretty bad trade-off. For one minute after. After, for one minute. Yeah, once you're done.
Starting point is 00:57:43 I'd like to buy one of those. How much? It was five. Five? I have three left. I'll chip Elga two. You'll chip? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:52 I miss my wife. Chip, your kindness will not be forgotten. I will put you now second on my list. Uh-oh. All right, the rankings got updated. It's just a dead pool. That first one, the feigned death one. The blood orange?
Starting point is 00:58:09 Yeah, yeah. That's one minute. Appears like dead, right? False death. False death. And you ooze scarlet. False death or feigned? False death.
Starting point is 00:58:18 Mortapolis feigned death. Okay. And then you ooze red stuff. It's for one minute at last, right? Correct. Is it anyone who eats the berry? I guess what I'm saying in theory, could you give it to someone with them not realizing it, and then they fall dead and appear dead?
Starting point is 00:58:33 Well, that's up to you. But okay, so it's orange. An orange. So you go to a little kid's soccer game, you see, and they're passing out the orange slices. Slip one of those little boogers one of these puts them right to sleep how for how many how many five for all the fruits or just that the berry berry yeah five for uh oh i suppose i'll take the that one the blood orange you have money left over
Starting point is 00:58:59 i didn't spend anything oh you did you did. You just exchanged. You're right. Yeah. 40 blood coin. Oh, you know what? I'm not going to do it. Never mind. It's all right. That's the decisive leadership of Barney Farnley. No, no. I just realized I can do that spell, so I don't need it.
Starting point is 00:59:15 Oh, gotcha. I have a question for Lo. Lo. Get Lo. Lo. Lo. What can you tell us? We're new in town
Starting point is 00:59:27 We're very interested in Monsieur Dracula And wonder if you know anything about these Outrageous rumors About him breaking The oath of Vamspire Vamspire? Yeah, there's protesters in town, right? Yes
Starting point is 00:59:43 Troublemakers, stirring up trouble for no reason. I would agree. You know, just so I understand, why would you think that there's no way that this could be something that Eve would be doing? Doing? Count Dracula's an upstanding beacon of righteousness for us all. Oh, and have you had direct interaction with any of these counts of the area? Area.
Starting point is 01:00:04 Sometimes they'll send some of their battlers here to purchase some... Oh, and have you had direct interaction with any of these counts of the area? Area. Sometimes. They'll send some of their battlers here to purchase some fruit. That's so good. Even if they did break his oath, who cares, right? Like, would you care? I mean, does it even matter? Matter? Yes, of course.
Starting point is 01:00:20 The Valsavania matter quite a bit. So you would be upset if you found out they were true. Yeah, but that's impossible. Yeah, of course. Of course the Valsavania matter quite a bit. So you would be upset if you found out they were true. True? Yeah, but that's impossible. Yeah, of course. Well, it seems like you have a bit of an echo. Echo? Echo.
Starting point is 01:00:32 Echo. Echo. Echo. I'm missing something. He's just repeating the last word that everyone is saying. It's just funny. I was trying to think of something to make you say it. I was focused to think of something to make you say it I always focus on discovery
Starting point is 01:00:46 breakers of the vow say what what no we're gonna report you give yourself an inspiration back that's funny so good well Lo
Starting point is 01:01:03 this has been wonderful but I have nothing else to get from you. You, are you sure you don't have some HP you want to exchange for some information? You got information? Information, maybe. Would you give it to us for free? Free? Yeah, okay, we'll take it. No.
Starting point is 01:01:18 Oh, okay. Take it? No. I toss Lo to HP. I toss low to HP. He deftly picks it out of the air and pockets it and looks around with his red eyes and kind of leans in. You know, there's reports coming from Carcassouc and Glurb about earth tremors and water sources drying up. And I'll give you a little extra because your friend here purchased some fruit.
Starting point is 01:01:44 You know, most folks know vampires only drink blood. But there's some whispers about vampires that thirst for other things. Things that you can't even see. Like what? What? I don't know. People coming in and out of the spire, typically, how do they get in and out? No, the bridge,
Starting point is 01:02:00 of course. Any other ways? Like the battlers, do they fly in or anything? Anything. Typically they walk in here. Yeah, but they don't ever fly in because they're battlers? Battlers. No. No. Okay. I like to think that when writing these
Starting point is 01:02:15 NPCs, Mike, I just put this NPC repeats the last word of anybody. 100%. That's what's in the modules. Low, I think we're going to go unless you got anything else to say. But it's been a pleasure talking to you. Yeah, okay. See you next time.
Starting point is 01:02:34 I'm gonna head to Marin's. What it says is, Low involuntarily repeats the last word you say before responding. That's so good. Dude. I love that. A funny gimmick.
Starting point is 01:02:42 Okay, so we have visited all the establishments, and I feel like you might want to go back to the mantle place and get some Cute. I love that. A funny gimmick. Okay, so we have visited all the establishments, and I feel like you might want to go back to the mantle place and get some sunshine. I love Marin. I just miss Marin, you know? I haven't seen a tiefling in so, so long. And we need disguises. That's true. Oh, yeah, they did say that we should blend in,
Starting point is 01:02:57 and by we, I mean only you guys. I'm going to head to Marin's. Me too. Okay. Yeah, what is the observationally the aesthetic of all the... So like mostly vampires, right? Yeah, so is it like cloaks and like, I don't know, like traditional vampire? Well, yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:14 Wait, I'm sorry. I don't understand the question. Okay. In Marin's mantles, what's the aesthetic? Does everything feel like it looks like it would be the typical garb of a vampire? Gotcha. Yeah. I'll reread the description that we said last episode,
Starting point is 01:03:26 because I think that'll answer your question. Inside, the smell of fresh linens wafting from racks of cloaks, capes, scarves, mantles, and robes. And you see the male prepubescent tiefling with adorable dimples wearing a violet cashmere shawl that occasionally shimmers to a pastel turquoise. So yeah, lots of cloaks, capes, mantles, robes, things of that nature. And that would be disguise, essentially. Could be. Marin, Chip's back.
Starting point is 01:03:52 Hey. Hey, Chip. Marin's happy to see you. I do the tiefling handshake thing. Oh, yeah. Okay, so you had a cool scarf that seemed to do some sort of a smoky thing. What's it called again? That was called the vapapors, the Sash of...
Starting point is 01:04:08 Shadows. Shadows. The Sash of Shadows. Shadow Sash. There it is. Barbara remembered. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Shadow Sash.
Starting point is 01:04:18 Are you interested in that? 50 HP. Remind me really quick what else you got, because we're interested in looking like locals. You know, we're from out of town. We want to fit in. We don't want to look like a bunch of tourists. We got the neckerchief, which is also on sale.
Starting point is 01:04:30 And what does that do? You look at it, and it's a velvet white neckerchief, redolent of a crackling fireplace. A metagame where you take damage, you can use your reaction to reduce the damage by spending hit die. You may expend and roll up to three of your hit die, adding your constitution modifier to each.
Starting point is 01:04:45 You can use this feature once per short rest. How much for that one? Marin charges 50 HP for that. Uh, Marin, I see you have all these very magical, uh, items. Do you have any mundane items that would be of more, uh, cheaper, uh, scales that would still make us look like part of the local? Oh, of course. Marin's got you covered. That's my saying.
Starting point is 01:05:04 I've heard of it. Ha ha! That's my saying. I've heard of it. Whatever you want. Cape, cloak, anything mundane. Marin can get that for you real quick. You know, I saw one of the counts traveling around here recently and I loved how they looked. Do you have something that would make us look like we a little bit like them?
Starting point is 01:05:20 Oh, absolutely. Marin caters to all of the counts. All of the fine merchandise here in Vania, Marin can get for you. How much for, let's say, like three sets of that? Marin can do that for three HP. One HP each. Oh, there you go. Then I toss him an HP for mine.
Starting point is 01:05:37 All right. As a clue for you guys to also do that. I think they're all reading. We might. I was going to get a shadow sash. Oh, I'm saying for like a disguise. I was going to ask, hey, Marin,
Starting point is 01:05:49 do you think if I got this here, Shadow Sash, would this help me kind of like blend in with the locals? Meta game perspective, is this a sufficient enough disguise? Sure, we'll save. Why not?
Starting point is 01:05:58 Just because if you're spending 50 HP on it, sure. Okay. Marin will do you a solid. Marin will throw in a local cloak free of charge. Marin, you're the guy. It will throw in a local cloak free of charge. Marin, you're the guy. It's the tiefling hookup.
Starting point is 01:06:07 I love it. Just because we did the tiefling handshake. That's the one. Which one are you going to be buying? Shadow sash. Okay. Could I get the necrochief? Absolutely.
Starting point is 01:06:16 Marin's happy to sell. 50 HP for the shadow sash and 50 HP for the necrochief. I think I'm short. How much? Marin thinks you look very tall. Marin, you're too good. I think I'm short. How much? Marin thinks you look very tall. Marin, you're too good. I think I'm like missing one in HP. I give you one.
Starting point is 01:06:30 Okay. You know, Marin, I also got a, I got something that you might be interested in. What's that? A robe of serpents. You want to buy something like that? Marin could do a little trade. All right.
Starting point is 01:06:41 With the tiefling hookup, Marin can do 20 HP for that. Okay. That's a deal. I think I have like 19 HP now. Oh, okay. And I'm going to remove that and I'm going to add shadow sash. Okay. I have 20 left. There's no reason for me to hold on to this. I might need like
Starting point is 01:06:57 a few. For what? For a cape thing. Are these all 50? The necrichiff and shadow sash are 50. The other ones are because they're on sale. The other ones are full price. Marin has not talked about pricing on the other ones yet. Mateed looks at Barney and goes, I see you still have blood.
Starting point is 01:07:14 I still have one day of HP to play with. So how much are those? Which one can Marin interest you in? Cape of Mont I mean, Cape of Mont blank, Mantle, Spell Resistance, and Rogue, and probably not Rogue's Mantle. The Cape of the Mont Bonk?
Starting point is 01:07:29 That'll be 100 HP. And the Mantle of Spell Resistance. Marin will do 100 HP for that as well. Can I, I'll just get a regular cloak, and can I just buy one of those other mundane items at the other store? The, like, animal one or something like that. Animal one?
Starting point is 01:07:43 One of the ones that didn't require attunement, one of those. Oh, like, well, yeah, yeah. One of the other items you saw before? Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. I just want to backtrack through it, but I'll just get a regular. Oh, you want to just, like, knock it out right now? Yeah, yeah. Which one were you interested in? There was the animal one. The ring of animal influence? Is that the one you want? Yeah, I'll do the
Starting point is 01:07:58 animal one. Alright, that's 100 HP. Oh, never mind. Yeah, I was like, I don't know where Chris is going with this. I don't know where Chris is going with this. I don't know what I can do with this. You got plenty of blood, right? You can bleed. I mean, you have 40, right?
Starting point is 01:08:11 From that trade. And then you still have full health. Yeah, but I don't think Barney wants to do that. Yeah. Marin can maybe unload something for you there. And what are you interested in? He kind of rummages through your bag and pulls out your scarf of the sightless. Marin's very interested in this.
Starting point is 01:08:26 How much? Since you're a friend of Chip, Marin will hook you up and do 15 HP. Hey! 15 HP, but I don't know what I could buy with that. What was available for 50? I'm sorry, it's hard to keep track of the... For 50. Yeah, because I would have 55 at that point.
Starting point is 01:08:41 Gotcha. The fruit, Barney? The fruit. Yeah, I think everything at this point is point. Gotcha. The fruit, Barney? The fruit. Yeah, I think everything at this point is 75 or 100. Which one's 75? The necklace of neck saving. But it's got a deep price. Do you want another cloak?
Starting point is 01:08:54 Is there another thing you could use? Who are you asking? I'm asking Chip because he has all those rogue stuff. No, Shadow Stash is enough because I don't think I'd be able to put a cloak on. I don't have a cloak. Yeah, hat on a hat. I already have something else. The three fruit were what?
Starting point is 01:09:07 Really quick. They are Vlad Orange, Glary Berry, and Mort Apple. I took the Glary Berry, although I'm sure there's plenty. Yeah, yeah. All right. So we don't have to backtrack. Give me two Mort Apples. Mort Apples.
Starting point is 01:09:20 Two of them. Yeah. I'll not sell my cloak and then just grab with my 40 gold. 40 HP. 40 HP. I guess. How many fruits will that get me? Eight.
Starting point is 01:09:33 Yeah, I'll take two of each of them and keep the extra 10 for bribing. Good idea. All right. I'm done. I'm done. And I just got a regular cloak look too I'm Elga Bonjour
Starting point is 01:09:48 Alright, we are done shopping We all have our disguises, we? Yeah Yes, disguising Merrin, Chip and the crew are gonna take off Pleasure to see you there, pal Anytime, Chip Come on back and see old Merrin
Starting point is 01:10:00 Okay I throw my sash and go I like to imagine you walk with more like pep in your step now. Yeah. More hip shaking. Which is hard to do considering how you already power walks. Should we try to make our way into the
Starting point is 01:10:17 vamp spire? Let's do that. Oh no. We should go. We should rest. I was about to say, I was like... I'm so tired. Oh, it's been a day, hasn't it? You guys ready to hit the post-bite?
Starting point is 01:10:30 I think it's important that we press on. Elga, you know a great place to rest up. Don't say the Vanspire. Yeah. You got a room there and everything. Oh, you guys could crash in my pad. Nice. Let's do that.
Starting point is 01:10:45 I'm sure it won't be an issue at all, and we'll be able to go right to sleep when we get there. No question. I'm sure the moment we meet your papa that everything's going to go smoothly, no one in our party's going to have any issues with him, and everything's going to go great. We're going to take a big old team nap. He's probably at work right now, right? Yeah. Is there, like, an inn or anything like that?
Starting point is 01:11:06 Not in the VAMS fire? Like, anything that we could sleep in not in there? There's no inn. There's no place that advertises lodgings. Who the VAMS fire it is? Barney, set up the tent. Set up the hut. I can.
Starting point is 01:11:20 Should we hut? I don't know if we'll be able to. Yeah, what's our timeline like? That's up to you guys I was writing in the more tab Why can't we go into your family's house? I think we can Let's go do that
Starting point is 01:11:33 That's not fun I would love to see what made you All I'm saying is every time we've entered a city We've had an encounter What's the worst that could happen? We die I've done that before. It's not that bad.
Starting point is 01:11:47 Let's go. It's always the closer you get to death, the more drunk you get. I am Parisian, okay? Please put your oxygen mask on before assisting. What's happening? Okay, so I guess we just cross the bridge.
Starting point is 01:12:04 Do we need pseudonyms? No. We're in disguise. Like, are we doing a disguise? Yeah, you can be Vampire Barney, and you're Vampire Mateed, and you're Vampire Chip. Bah! I wanna suck your blood! Is that good?
Starting point is 01:12:19 That's very inappropriate. We don't outright tell people we want to suck their blood. Don't gay. Yeah, that's why Barney has a problem with it. You're so sneaky about it. What is your marching order walking up to the VAMP Spire? Me first. I'll be right behind her.
Starting point is 01:12:36 I'll go next. Oh, yeah, I'll be behind Barney. Chip bringing up the rear. Yeah. Okay, so Elga, Mateed, Barney, Chip. You begin walking back towards the Vamspire. You know, it's where the protesters were and where you encountered that mob earlier.
Starting point is 01:12:52 And there's, like I said, there's a black stone bridge that sits over a moat of blood. And there's a large open arched entrance into the tower. And it appears to be flanked on either side by Ignis stone bat gargoyles. Do you guys hear organ music playing?
Starting point is 01:13:10 Ignis stone. Black gargoyles. Black gargoyles. Ignis stone is like the stone of this mountain. So that same black stone we saw on our way in. Correct. And it appears that the bridge is probably made of the same thing. Beautiful.
Starting point is 01:13:22 So homey. Wow. I like this a lot, actually. Okay, onwards and upwards. Yeah, as you walk through, Elga, you see that there are also two Sferatu in an antechamber right there behind the gargoyles. In an antechamber?
Starting point is 01:13:39 A little antechamber. Well, how does that look? So it's like you walk up on the bridge and there's like a little alcove behind the gargoyles. And that's where the two Sephiroth two are before you really enter the main part of the Vespire. A room before a room. Correct. Gotcha.
Starting point is 01:13:53 Okay. Gotcha. It seems like they're concentrating on something. Hello. I'm home. They don't seem to pay you any mind. What are you guys doing? What are you looking at?
Starting point is 01:14:04 Could I follow their line of vision? Yeah, make me an arcana check. Uh-oh. 14? It seems like they're concentrating on maintaining a spell. Oh, no. Some kind of warding spell. Am I going to have to turn into a dinosaur again?
Starting point is 01:14:19 What kind of spell are you doing? You sometimes sound more Minnesota. Wisconsin. They don't seem to reply. Could I see what they're looking at at least? They're looking at each other. They're like on opposite sides of the antechamber. They are a entryway barrier is what they are.
Starting point is 01:14:39 And it's the entry for the spire? For the vamp spire. Vamp spire. And they're not the black obsidian gargoyles. No, these are Spharatu inside the anti-chamber. I don't know how we're going to team. I think that these are going to be checking via a spell. But we are.
Starting point is 01:14:58 Yeah. They have like a staring contest going on that was going to out us. I have an idea. Oh, no. I also have an idea. I want to hear Alga. Unless Barney, I doubt our idea is the same one, but what is your idea?
Starting point is 01:15:13 Say them at the same time in three. One, two, three. No, no, no. I can shape stone. And I touch a stone object, medium size, smaller, and can shape the dimensions and form it in any shape that I want. So I could just basically make our own way in and avoid the... As in make a door somewhere else in the building.
Starting point is 01:15:37 There's a moat around this whole place. We are entering via the only bridge. We can't cross a moat. We can all... Everyone can fly. Yes, everyone can fly. Yes, everyone. No, this is not true. Anyway, Elgig, go ahead.
Starting point is 01:15:52 Could I jump on to one of the Svaratus and give him a hug? I miss you! Svaratu, I was gone for so long! It's so good to be home! Yeah, make a... I love it. Let's so good to be home. Yeah, make a I love it. Let's make a strength check. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:10 Yes. I have a follow up on this. I'm going to let her resolve. I hope this cooks. 16. And then I'm going to make the Sfarratu make a concentration check. Good call. 17. Darn it. Yeah, the Sfarratu, you know, doesn't shove you off or anything,
Starting point is 01:16:26 but doesn't, you know, warmly return your hug and your embrace. It still seems to be maintaining whatever concentration it is that he has. My father will be very upset to hear that you guys did not acknowledge me getting home. Your father will be very upset if we do not do our duty. But what will he be more upset about? The duty. Speaking of, you look hungry. Do you want a fruit?
Starting point is 01:16:53 The Sfratu does not acknowledge you. I got a flat orange. The Sfratu looks at you and then, you know, narrows its eyes. We do not need to eat. Yeah, but you don't need to, but it's certainly tasty. I mean, there's lots of things you don't need to do in life that you do for the pleasure. We do not eat fruit. Always worse in Arnie's voice.
Starting point is 01:17:18 Good morning. Do you want to maybe like ask if you could come in and see like what happens? I think if you walk through, it's going to be fine. It's fine. But yeah, I wonder like if. Um, sirs, is it okay if I bring my friends up? Um, we're going to, I was going to show them my room. As long as they have been invited by Count Dracula or delivered their password.
Starting point is 01:17:42 Oh. Password, what's the password? Could you, I've been away for so long. Could you remind me what the password is? Just whisper it to her. Cannot do that. Okay, the password is can't do that.
Starting point is 01:17:54 Can I? Wait, we can figure this out. Wait, can I ask? I have a question. To Helga. Helga? No, Helga. Helga.
Starting point is 01:18:02 Is it only living creatures that can't pass through? No, I think you just have to be invited. But like if we were dead for all intents and purposes. I don't know if it has anything to do with. She's not dead. She's undead. No, no.
Starting point is 01:18:14 But like, I guess we got these fruit that make you literally like you are dead. Not mine. I have them. So that was like, could we just like, could we get in it and you carry us in like a suitcase? Like if I'm like, I'm bringing in a corpse? Yeah, yeah. I think it, well, yeah. Yeah, yeah, sorry.
Starting point is 01:18:31 I mean, I don't know. Maybe we can ask, but I feel like it's more like in a world where there's like dead, undead, and living combined. I feel like these guys are just screening for people that may or may not trespass into the land. Or have been invited. Do you think any of the shopkeepers would have had the password? Were any of the people that we talked to in the shops, were they vampires? You said a lot of people in the area were vampires, but we never asked about any of the shopkeepers. Make a wisdom check.
Starting point is 01:18:56 I have a perfect recollection of things I see. Yeah, but you have to interpret what it is that you saw. Did I see fangs? No. I have an idea. I didn't see fangs. No. Okay, and what check was it again? Just so I can run it.
Starting point is 01:19:08 Wisdom. Oh, sure. Why not? Let's see what Mr. I don't know what the password is. I have an idea. 19. No, you don't believe any of the shopkeepers you encountered were vampires. Okie dokie. I'm going to pull out the Carctus Dei, the yonder letters, and I'm just going to write, what's the password to Vania?
Starting point is 01:19:24 The secret password to Vania. Oh that's a good idea. Okay so I think we've been thinking that the wrong person's been writing these notes to us I just could be a total shot in the dark but we're just going to see how it goes. And just so I'm clear where are you doing this are you still doing this in the antechamber up there by the
Starting point is 01:19:40 gargoyles and the Sferatu or do you walk away from the Vamspire? Chip is one stealthy dude he's gonna kind of just like wander back maybe over to the drawbridge and just kind of yell you know you know you know kids these days at school and they're texting under their desks and it's kind of out of sight from the teacher and they get biothic because oh they're so stealthy okay so you're at the other side of the moat like away from the vamp spire back kind of where the protesters were sure yeah I kind of wander back over that.
Starting point is 01:20:05 I think, I think they should do that in case there's like alarms. Yeah. So, uh, you send off the car to say, uh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:10 And you feel a tapping on your shoulder. I, I look at the tapping. You turn around and the alchemist is standing there. He says, I don't know. Yeah. It's the alchemist.
Starting point is 01:20:20 Cause he's the one who's been sending the messages. What do you need the password for? We had to get into this, the dark, the, the, the, the, the damn sp's been sending the messages. What do you need the password for? We got to get into the dark... The tamp... The tamp spire, whatever. Yep. Right, right. The tampon spire.
Starting point is 01:20:31 We got to get in there to talk to Dracula. Do you know a better way to get in there? Just because it's a long thing that involves blood does not make it a tampon. Barbara trying to take a drink out of her flask. I have to make the joke. I have to make it.
Starting point is 01:20:46 That's a good one. Well, it would seem to me that perhaps the password can be perceived or overheard somehow. Perhaps there's an alternate way to get into the vamp spire. We can use our rogue. This is your moment. This is your moment. I was trying to do it, but yeah, okay, right. This is your moment so I'll try to do we okay right this is your moment you just need to hide in the antechamber and listen for someone else to enter
Starting point is 01:21:09 guys get I I'd that's that should work right it's a plan okay oh you're very sneaky I'll whistle for the gang. And I have them huddle up around me near the alchemist. Okay, what are you doing? I think I'm going to try to hide. Maybe I can kind of linger off the drawbridge and then try to overhear the password as someone else passes through. That is a fantastic idea. Yeah? You came up with that all on your own, didn't you?
Starting point is 01:21:45 Yeah. So proud of you. Thank you. I think it's a fantastic idea. Yeah. You came up with that all on your own, didn't you? Yeah. So proud of you. Thank you. I think it's a great idea. While you do that, we'll go take a rest. We won't. I don't know. It's worth a try.
Starting point is 01:21:57 And also. Don't you have? I have a jar of the baboon. Do I still have that? I can't tell. I think you used it. I thought you used it. I think I had two climbing pot the baboon. Oh, wait. Do I still have that? I can't tell. I think you used it. I thought you used it. I think I had two climbing potions and I used one, but I don't know if I used the other.
Starting point is 01:22:10 You just need to be able to hide, though. Yeah. So go do that. Yeah, I'm going to hide under the drawbridge and try to listen in to see. Oh, under it. Yeah. Okay. So you're from the far side of the drawbridge or bridge.
Starting point is 01:22:22 You're going to get under it, climb across the bridge, and then listen from down there to try to figure out what the password is. Yeah, and they're just going to hide there. Can I give them a scroll of guidance? So that casts guidance on them? So are you going to cast guidance on them or give them a scroll of guidance?
Starting point is 01:22:37 Yeah, just cast guidance on them. There you go. Okay. Yeah. And what does that do? D4? Yeah, it's just a... You roll a D4 for...
Starting point is 01:22:44 It's like additional... For an ability check. Is it one time or how long does that do? D4? Yeah, it's just a, you roll a D4 for an ability check. Is it one time or how long does it last? I think it's just a one-time use thing. Yeah, you touch one of the creature once before the spell ends. Target can roll a D4 and add the number. Roll to one ability check of its choice. It can roll to die before or after making the ability check.
Starting point is 01:22:59 Spell then ends. Oh, useful. How do you touch him? I go in for, We can do this. Okay, I accept. Okay. First of all, I'll say make a... Let's call it an athletics check to have you scamper around under the bridge.
Starting point is 01:23:14 Okay. I'm here to watch. Use my inspiration. Yeah. That is a 13. 13? No, it might be better. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:23 Sometimes it's just a 10. 13. Yeah. This isn't like a 10. 13. Yeah. This isn't like the stealth check. This is just to see if you're able to... Keep you falling to the blood and die. To crawl around. Yeah, it's not easy.
Starting point is 01:23:31 It's very smooth on the bottom of the bridge, but you're able to make your way to the far side. Okay. And make a stealth check. Oh, yeah. I know how to do these. I'll give you advantage because you're also under the bridge,
Starting point is 01:23:44 like out of sight. I already got advantage, but I'll take super advantage because you're also under the bridge, like out of sight. I already got advantage, but I'll take super advantage if you want. Nah. No, I mean, I could, you know, hey, just give it to me. Because, you know, those rolls might not have been that good. He rolled bad. What'd you get? A 10 and an 11.
Starting point is 01:23:55 You don't have any, like, items or anything to help you out with that? You have a plus eight. How'd you end up with a 10 and an 11? Rolled a two and a three. A little out of my element. Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I have some sort of reaction. Use your guidance. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:08 That's exactly what it's for. Roll a d4 and get it. That's plus one. So 12. Woo! Remember when I said this is our rogues moment? I remember those words. It's my moment.
Starting point is 01:24:25 You're hanging under the bridge, and after several minutes, you hear footsteps approaching. Okay. Make a perception check. You got to hear it. You got to hear it. Here's my moment.
Starting point is 01:24:39 That's a three. I'm going to roll. Like, without modifiers You rolled an 811 and then have then rolled a 2 3 a 1 and a 4 I'm gonna use a lucky and I'm gonna use perception again. Oh, thank God you have lucky and that's a come on, dude You have a negative one. That's a zero Do you be any more lucky? I'm going to roll another lucky.
Starting point is 01:25:07 Okay. Oh, my gosh. This is just... We need this, dude. It's my moment. Can I try to listen from where I am because I have keen hearing? Yes. What's the point of me doing any of this?
Starting point is 01:25:19 No, let it happen. Let's get through this roll chip and then, yeah, we'll get to you. That's a two. Oh, my God. Do you have any more luckies? Don't worry, Gang. I got one more lucky. Turns out Chip's just underwater the whole time.
Starting point is 01:25:32 He is drowning literally and like figuratively. There's a charm. You're using all your luck points. Carol, if you can hear me, honey bunny, give me the power. Come on. Come on. Come on. That's an eight.
Starting point is 01:25:49 What does he hear with an eight? Let's just hear what he hears with an eight. Sa-sa. Sa-sa. She's. She's. Maybe she's. Sa-sa.
Starting point is 01:25:57 Sa-sa. Hold on. Hold on. And then you hear the footsteps receding away, going into the vamp spire. Okay. All right. Then I'm going to wait until the next person comes by. Can you wait?
Starting point is 01:26:06 Maybe. Elga, you have some kind of... I wanted to use my keen hearing ability. For one minute, I have advantage on perception checks that rely on hearing. Okay. Okay, so I would say normally at this distance, you would have... Advantage. Disadvantage, because it's so far.
Starting point is 01:26:22 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But your keen hearing cancels that out, so you'll just roll a normal perception check. So you get to just roll a good perception. But Elga rolls good perception. But there's two of us rolling perception, though. Yes. 17.
Starting point is 01:26:35 Stoker. Stoker. Like Bram Stoker. Stoker. Yeah, Bram Stoker. Mm, they make good breakfast. Stofers. Yep.
Starting point is 01:26:44 Since you are not under the bridge, Elga, you know, you're up where the protesters were earlier, you see that the people who walk up to give the password don't say it to the Sferatu. They whisper it to the gargoyle. Copy. Okay, okay. And then they walk into the vamp spire.
Starting point is 01:26:59 Okay, so he has to get out from underneath this thing now. And climb back to the gang. What you hear, Chip? Elga and I heard it together. I think I saw her perking her ear up and between the two of us, we got it covered. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 01:27:13 Two syllables. Stoker. I was going to say it at the same time. You took the words right out of my mouth. I went faster than he was prepared. Stoker. Stoker, but you guys have to say it to the Gargoyles. Gargoyle, right.
Starting point is 01:27:25 Yes. Bettina's just shaking their head. Hold on. This is perfect. Skipper just brought me another letter. It says both of my parents just died. The alchemist says, Looks like you have this perfectly under control.
Starting point is 01:27:51 I'm going back to Francesca. Okay. Oh my gosh. We'll be back, alchemist. All right. Okay, everyone knows what to do? Yeah. Okay, I'll still lead the way.
Starting point is 01:28:04 Okay, you all begin crossing the bridge with Elga leading the way. Could Elga just go through. Yeah. Okay. I'll still lead the way. Okay. You all begin crossing the bridge with Elga leading the way. Could Elga just go through? Yeah. Elga, you walk straight through. No problem. Did Elga talk into the thing? No. Okay. Mateed goes to the gargoyle and goes, Stokia. Okay.
Starting point is 01:28:19 Oh, and I walk proudly through. Okay. Yeah. You walk right through and join Elga. I do. Barney goes to the gargoyle, says, Okay. And then walks through. Okay. And then Chip walks up to the gargoyle.
Starting point is 01:28:34 Gargoyle. The blurbable gargoyle. I want to mess this up, but I'm not going to. Joker. And then I pet the gargoyle. And then I walk through. Okay. It'd be real bad if you messed it up.
Starting point is 01:28:44 What'd I say? Hey there, it's me, Chip Aimee. Hey there, it's me, Chip Aimee. Oh, no. You mean Count Chip. Yes. Yeah. Chippula.
Starting point is 01:28:53 Choppula. Chippula. All right, what happens? As you move through the open archway, you pass by two red-robed batfolk you recall as the Sfratu. They pay you no mind as they chant in unison and conjure clearly powerful magics. Beyond them, ornate sconces of torchlight flicker across glossy black stone walls leading further
Starting point is 01:29:10 into the belly of the tower. Aromas of rotten carrion, sour, sweat, and the choking of smoke walk through the passage. The reverberating din of shifting feet, fluttering of wings, and the ringing of small chimes grows in your ears until finally you reach a crimson door with one word carved into the wooden grain. Tales of Dark. Elga, a small voice suddenly whispers in your mind. Welcome home, sister. Oh, that gave me goosebumps in real life. Find out what happens in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Turns out it's just a mixed identity. Like they did not.
Starting point is 01:29:59 It was the wrong sister. Oh, sorry. Sorry, sorry. My bad. I thought you were someone else. Tales of Doc. How do you spell that? T-A-. I thought you were someone else. Tails-a-dock. How do you spell that? T-A-E-L-Z-A-D-O-K.
Starting point is 01:30:11 Cods... Sorry, I'm going backwards. All right. Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll see you all next week. Oh, gosh. Bye-bye. Bye. Oh, dear.
Starting point is 01:30:18 Did you know you can directly support the show by subscribing at stinkydragonpod.com slash first. You can join the ranks of amazing little stinkers like Tusk Centaur, Scarlet Seven seven duffinator 56 dino sa and know how these people
Starting point is 01:30:31 are directly supporting the show and they get access to more great content like second wind they can access our subscriber only discord channels and events and more check out stinky dragon pod.com slash first we can't thank you enough for your support and helping us to make this show listeners that interact with us on social media and Discord had NPCs named after them in this episode, like Marin the Shopkeeper, who was named by Talaya, who's a first member, and is voiced by Keri Shawcross, at Keri Shawcross. The Alchemist is voiced by BlizzBear, at BlizzBear, with a 3 instead of an E. The Spiratus, voiced by David Sagnier, at David underscore Sagnier.
Starting point is 01:31:02 Francesca Esteban is voiced by Jessica Vasami at Jessica Vasami The Mummy aka Ryder Rajad voiced by Hannah McCarthy at HiHello underscore Hannah and Hexel the Glurbian voiced by Elise Willems at Elise Willems
Starting point is 01:31:13 The Stinky Dragon channel is managed by Ben Ernst This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Kai Cook written, edited, and composed by Michael Reisinger with additional editing work by David Sanya
Starting point is 01:31:22 Head over to stinkydragonpod.com slash first for all things stinky Tune in next time for another Sanier. Head over to StinkyDragonPod.com slash first for all things Stinky. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. You can bite. We won't budge till we get some oversight. People in the crowd start to shout.
Starting point is 01:31:57 You can use some workshop on that. Bite and sight. Come on. Yeah, but like the rhythm, you know. Sorry, keep going. Keep protesting. You can bite. We won't budge till you
Starting point is 01:32:05 give us some new fudge. That's what I was thinking. Micah, do you want to put... Do you want to put it in there? New fudge for everyone. I saw a finger rising up into the sky. He said it was a big thumb. Long thumb.

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