Tales from the Stinky Dragon - Wight Winter - Ep. 37: Revenge of the Wraith

Episode Date: February 9, 2022

The interns have a lot to handle - Kyborg squares off with a mighty hunter, Bart tries to calm a heated fight, & GumGum & Mudd attempt a water search and rescue. All this and more in the final episode... of the Wight Winter arc!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Looking for a change of scenery? Come on over. Let us give you the tour. Grab a paddle and explore. Hit the trails and go. When you're ready, kick back and call it a night. New Brunswick, always inviting. Visit tourismnewbrunswick.ca This is a Rooster Teeth production. Welcome back to all you woodwolves. Stride your stumps on into the Stinky Dragon. Sip up our latest sap, the Uprooty Tooty Fruity. It's a mixture of maple syrup, sarsaparilla, reed, and rum, topped with your choice of freshly sliced fruit.
Starting point is 00:01:01 This saccharine swill has more heart than a will and sacrifice. Previously, our adventurers dug their way out from a falling building only to enter a courtyard of chaos. They soothed the spooked horse, careened through crossbow crossfire, played music for a mob, and stepped into a cyclone stadium. Can
Starting point is 00:01:19 they reach the sacred tree and stop a century of war? Let's not beat around the bush and see what's in store. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. We're here. We're ready to fight whatever comes across our way. I'm ready to fight the adventurers. The adventurers are ready to fight us. We're here.
Starting point is 00:01:44 We're queer. Well, not everyone. Some of us. Maybe one of us. One and a half. One and a half. I do like that whenever Gus records his tavern voice thing, he's been doing it live in front of us now more often, so we're just... Imagine six adults in this recording just kind of
Starting point is 00:01:59 waiting as this man goes like this. Yeehaw! Also after a serious discussion where we're like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay, hold on. Welcome to the show! Yeah, our quote-unquote serious discussion was determining Mudd's tiger state.
Starting point is 00:02:16 Yes. I can't remember sometimes if I'm an animal, if I'm not an animal, if I left the last episode as something. Usually I go off of my character sheet and right now, according to my character sheet, fair, fair audience, I'm not an animal. So I'm going with that.
Starting point is 00:02:32 So I don't think... You were driving the cart, right? The horse-drawn cart? I was driving the cart and I don't think I was a tiger driving the cart. Which I would love to see a tiger driving a cart. It's adorable. It's adorable. Do you think we spend more time trying to open doors or trying to figure out if John is an animal or not?
Starting point is 00:02:50 We do that less. I'd say the doors are a much bigger thing. That's very true. In all caps, Micah typed doors. Door. We're going to need a second opinion. Doors. Can I give a shout out to somebody on Twitter?
Starting point is 00:03:03 Yeah. At Jarmstrong said fine i guess they must have just listened to an episode and they said finally mud uses the immovable rod uh but then they said but seriously these cliffhangers are killing me um yes you're welcome maybe sometime in the next next 35 episodes i'll use it again yeah because you took it you took it with you i have it i i've been re-listening uh to the show from the start uh while i was painting and stuff i got so mad at that episode i was so mad i was like you're still so hard thinking back though okay knowing how chris
Starting point is 00:03:40 plays dnd and how he just tries to find any route into a problem to like break the game. To break the game. If he had gotten an immovable rod that's like giving a nuke to North Korea. It would have been over. This game would be so broken right now constantly. Oh yeah. I'd be like my Google history would be
Starting point is 00:03:59 filled with how do you break an immovable rod? I feel like whatever if we ever do another campaign with new characters, Chris should play like the dad-like character just so he has to be responsible just because I want to see that. No, no, no, no. Chris gets to be DM
Starting point is 00:04:14 and I get to try to break his game all the time. I would just like to like, can I be the dumb impetuous one that ruins everything for everybody? Can I be that one? Aren't you already? John, I don't think impetuous one that ruins everything for everybody? Can I be that one? Aren't you already? John, I don't think you could physically do that. I don't think your brain would let you do that.
Starting point is 00:04:30 Oh, you've played video games with me where I get into a little bit of a chaos mode. That's true, John can do that. And I like to cause trouble. But it's just like in this show, we got to do stuff. Yeah. So someone has to be the we do stuff guy.
Starting point is 00:04:43 Well, I want you to play a compulsive liar, John. I'd love to. It would totally, it would be fun. You mean you would hate that? In this fictional world, I'd be fine with it. I'm just, because you're lying, so you'd say you hate that. Because everything you say is a lie. It's good.
Starting point is 00:05:01 I'm right there with you. It's not opposite day to day, guys. Or is it? Let's play some D&D. Gum Gum, as you're staring down a smug-looking Osmond, you are caught off guard by a drenched snow bice behind you that snatches Knive and pulls him into the icy water. You had an action ready.
Starting point is 00:05:20 If you want to do anything, you can at this point. Yeah, I want to do something. I want my little boy, Gink, getting iced away. Can I... What you got? Iced to see you, Gum Gum says. There it is. There it is. That was good. Chill!
Starting point is 00:05:39 Sorry, I'm just rattling off Arnold Schwarzenegger quotes from Batman and Robin. How could you not? I know what I'm gonna do.'m going to tie a rope to him and then tie the other end to me and pull. He's already grabbed it in the water. It's like he just came up and grabbed him and dove down. Like, you don't have time to...
Starting point is 00:05:55 Oh, so he's in the water. Right. Okay, I'm diving in after. Oh, diving in. But can I tie a rope to me and then dive in? Can Gum Gum canonically swim? Have any of us swam in this game before? What, are you going to tie the other end to? You're just going to tie a rope to me and then dive in. Can Gum-Gum canonically swim? Have any of us swam in this game before? What, are you going to tie the other end too?
Starting point is 00:06:07 You're just going to tie a rope to you that you have in your own bag? That's what Gum-Gum might do. He just ties a rope to himself, leaves the rope on the thing, and thinks that's what works. That's Gum-Gum. I think Gum-Gum would do that. I think that's... Okay, so you pull one end of the rope out from your pack,
Starting point is 00:06:22 tie it around your waist, and dive into the water. I've got this, guys. You know what would really come in handy right now? An immovable rod. It would. It would. It really, really would. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:06:38 I guess you'll just have to get to me. Okay. Suckers. Synergy. Synergy. So I dive in. Do I see anything? What do I see in the water?
Starting point is 00:06:48 If you're not familiar with the rules of swimming in D&D, I'm going to read over them real fast with you. I'm not, actually. So each foot of movement costs one extra foot. So, you know, for example, if your movement's 30, then your movement becomes 15. So it's halving your movement. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:08 So I believe your movement is 30, GumGum, so you'd be able to move 15 right now while you're swimming. You're the deep end of the pool. I'm not allowed. What do I see when I open my eyes underwater? Water. Make a perception check. Okay. Blurred vision.
Starting point is 00:07:24 I don't know when you typically swim. That's a five. A five. The water stings your eyes a bit. It's difficult to see. You think you see the shadow of a quickly moving snowbeist under the water. I'm going to swim towards it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:07:40 You swim 15 feet towards the snowbeist. Guess so. Can I throw my spear in it? Actually, hold on. You used your move action to jump. That's right. So now this move is all you can do, because all you have left is either another movement action or an attack action.
Starting point is 00:07:57 So by jumping in, like tying the rope to yourself, diving in and swimming, that's your second move, so that is your entire action. That's all you can do. That's right. Okay, so I'm 15 feet towards it. Yes, correct. So let's see. Now we have Sleek, and after Sleek is Bart.
Starting point is 00:08:12 Just FYI, Bart. Sleek is going to cast something. Let's see. He begins channeling arcane energies. Raccoon, raccoon, raccoon. And Osman must make a saving throw. He rolled a seven. I'm pretty sure that's a fail.
Starting point is 00:08:31 I'm double checking. That is indeed a fail. So Osman takes some damage. Osman takes one point of damage. Way to go, Slate. Thrilling battle. He gets a paper cut. Not great rolls.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Bart, what do you want to do? How far am I from Osmond right now? You got blown away by the strong gust of wind. So you're a little further away. You're going to be about 35, 40 feet away, something like that. Excellent. I would like to cast Dissonant Whispers at Osmond. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:09:02 I would like to cast Dissonant Whispers at Osmond. Ooh. That's pretty good. He must make a wisdom saving throw. So he's going to make that right now. Oh, he rolled a one. He definitely fails that. Yay.
Starting point is 00:09:22 So he does three ID6s. We love a successful spell. Psychic damage. It's 12. 12 points of damage. And then what does he do? He has to run away or something? Let me see.
Starting point is 00:09:36 He must immediately use its reaction if available to move as far as its speed allows away from you. So he does have reaction. So like I said, he was just getting out of the water. So he's going to make a beeline away from you. You were blown up to the north by the water. So he's going to make a beeline away from you. You were blown up to the north by the wind. So he's going to make a beeline to the southern edge of the arena. Okay. So Osman's now in South Korea.
Starting point is 00:09:54 Yeah. So he's like on the opposite end of the arena now. How did I say that weird? He's on the opposite end of the arena now from you. Opposite send. I thought that's what I said. So he's about 65, 70 feet more or less away from you now. And where is the water in conjunction to where this is all happening?
Starting point is 00:10:10 It's largely in the middle. So the arena is kind of circular and the water is like in the middle where the tree was. Okay, so he's south of that and I'm north of that. Yeah, correct. And it's like the only solid land left is kind of, it looks kind of like a very thin donut. There's like bits of land around the outer edge of the ring and like the middle part is largely water. And tell us again, so the tree submerged into water?
Starting point is 00:10:34 Yeah, like all of the snow kind of melted and became water. So now it's largely underwater. You could already see a few little branches poking out from the snow and you can still see that sticking up above the water. But now instead of being buried in snow, it's underwater. So is it like this picture I just posted in Discord where the pink is the land and the hole in the middle is the water? Interesting.
Starting point is 00:10:56 You just posted a picture of a donut from Simpsons. She posted a picture of a donut. Yes, except the pink donut part is much thinner and the water part is much larger. But yes, that is the gist of it. Man, I want a donut now. I literally just went Simpsons donut. So it's more of an onion ring.
Starting point is 00:11:12 Yeah, more of an onion ring. That's a good way to put it. Yeah. Here to help. Get your map. Micah's accusing you of stealing his map. Is there anything else you want to do, Bart? I feel like I should maybe get closer to the water to help Gum-Gum out.
Starting point is 00:11:26 But I also don't want to be too close in case that snowbite gets out. And then I'm... Roll a perception check for me, Bart. That is a 16. I would say you can still see the shadow of Gum-Gum in the water. And he is kind of far from you. So if you wanted to try to help him, you'd have to jump in the water as well. Okay.
Starting point is 00:11:45 I'll just stay where I am. Okay. It's Knives' turn after Knive is mud. Knive is going to try to make a strength check to see if he can get free. Well, he rolled a one. That's not great. Good lord. My rolls are terrible today. The Snow Bice
Starting point is 00:12:01 did still beat him, though. The Snow Bice still has him under control and the Snow Bice is not acting. So Knives just struggles this round and tries to move around. Mud, you're up. Then after Mud is Kyborg. How far am I
Starting point is 00:12:17 from where Gum-Gum jumped in the water? You were able to hold your ground. You and Gum-Gum both held your ground. So you were close to each other, but he jumped away using the ring of jump. I believe he jumped away about 20 to 30 feet and then dove into the water. So I'd say you're about 20 to 30 feet
Starting point is 00:12:35 from his point of entry into the water. Okay. And then from point of entry into the water, how far away is the snow vice now at this point? Make a perception check. That's a nat 20 plus 7, so 27. Oh, okay. Yeah, you can see very clearly, you can see
Starting point is 00:12:52 both the shadow of Gum Gum and the shadow of the Snow Bice. And the Snow Bice is pretty central. Like, he made some moves. He's pretty central in the water, crossing over what would be the tree at this point. That's why I'm trying to figure out
Starting point is 00:13:07 what spell I can pull off. I was wondering if there's like a distance check on if I were to get to where Gum Gum went into the water and I don't get in the water how far away is the snow bias for me at that point? Oh, that's a good question. Oh, one thing I failed to mention earlier is
Starting point is 00:13:23 I mentioned it on the previous episode that there were stalagmites sticking up from the ground on the floor of the arena. So those little points are also still sticking out in the water. There's not very many of them, but those are also sticking out at a few points around. Are you saying that because those
Starting point is 00:13:39 are things that we could either hit or that we can use for traversal? You could like swim to them and pull yourself up. Yeah. Okay, traversal. I'm only mentioning it now because in looking at the map I saw them and I'm like, oh yeah, I forgot to mention them. It's not that it's crucial right now in this moment or anything. Okay. Anyway, your question was if you move to where
Starting point is 00:13:56 Gum-Gum jumped into the water, how far is the snowbite from there? Yeah. I'd say about 25 feet or so. Okay. That's doable. Okay. If I move to where Gum-Gum went in the water and his rope is sitting there, right? No, the rope is still in his pack. Oh, he took the rope with him.
Starting point is 00:14:12 He didn't leave the rope with him. Okay. Right. That's fine, that's fine, that's fine. I go to the water. The rope would be on the shore, right? Isn't it the thing, it's like the trope where it's unraveling slowly
Starting point is 00:14:22 before giving someone time to jump on it? That's what I thought Chris was trying to describe. Yeah. The way I described it when I was repeating to confirm was that you pulled one end out from your bag, tied it around you, and jumped in with the rest of the rope still in your bag. That's what I said.
Starting point is 00:14:35 Oops. How long is the rope? Because we can math this. If he's only gone 15 feet. I was thinking it was still on the ground. Okay. It's still on the ground then. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:44 But I didn't tie it to anything, so it would have been useless. Yeah, he didn't tie it to anything. He just left a loose still on the ground. Okay. It's still on the ground then. Okay. But I didn't tie it to anything, so it would have been useless. Yeah, he didn't tie it to anything. He just left a loose rope on the ground. Okay. Right, but if the rope is like 20, 30 feet... Right. It's unraveling. We still have time. Yeah, the rope in D&D normally is pretty long. It would definitely still be there
Starting point is 00:14:59 unraveling if you left it on the ground. Okay. Long rope of triumph. I mean, physics... Based on Gum-Gum's weight... No, mean, physics. Based on Gum Gum's weight. No, no, no. Would I be able to tie the rope to something and still have an action for a spell? No, because it's a move, and then picking up the rope and tying it
Starting point is 00:15:16 would be also an action. The only spell you'd be able to cast would be like if it was a bonus action. If you didn't have to move and you were standing there, you could tie it, but you have to move and then tie. That takes up your whole turn. Grabbing the rope myself counts a bonus action. If you didn't have to move and you were standing there, you could tie it, but you have to move and then tie. That takes up your whole turn.
Starting point is 00:15:27 Would grabbing the rope myself count as my action? I don't think so, right? I'll give you that as a bonus action. Okay. Then I'd like to go to where Gungun fell in the water. I'm going to grab the rope. I'm a big guy. I can pull this little half-orc boy back up if I need to.
Starting point is 00:15:41 And I'm going to cast... Could I cast Shape Water where the Snow Beist is? And because I can change the flow of the water, would that be able to hinder its ability to move much further if literally the current
Starting point is 00:15:58 in a five-foot cube around it is pushing against it the other direction towards Gum-Gum? Let me verify the Snow Beist is not large. It's a large creature so you could slow it down or potentially have the current push it up i don't know if you could like make it flow backwards though because it's so big okay wait so i can make the snowbites flow up right you can make it you could like an updraft
Starting point is 00:16:22 yeah you could push it up or you could slow it down, but I don't think you could turn it around like 180. You couldn't force it to go backwards. No, that's what I mean. I was wondering if maybe I could almost make it do a full stop so make it easier for Gum-Gum to swim to it. Yeah, it wouldn't be a full stop, but it would be a significant slowdown. Okay, then I would like to waterbend this mofo
Starting point is 00:16:40 and help Gum-Gum in his little swimmies. Language. Little swimmies. Language. Little swimmies. Mud conjures up his waterbending abilities, and the snowbite seems to slow down. I guess the only people who would notice would probably be Bart and Gum-Gum because they were both looking at the snowbite in the water. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:00 Is that it for you? That's it for me, and I'm bracing with all of my fear bog weight to pull that boy. All right. Kyborg, you're up. Then we have a couple of NPCs and then Gum Gum. You'll be after them. Okay. Did I survive the wind blast?
Starting point is 00:17:15 I thought I did, right? Yeah, I believe you and Mud stood your ground. Okay. And then I had recently shot an arrow at Osman. Where is he and what's he looking like? He, after the Vicious Mockery, you know, he emerged from the water, got Vicious Mockery, and then ran straight to the south, and is still, you know, under the effects of that Vicious Mockery.
Starting point is 00:17:34 So he's, you know, he's taking some damage. He's beaten up a little bit, and he's on the southern edge of the ring. So, like, within shooting distance? Oh, yeah, their shooting distance is really far, isn't it? Shooting distance? Yeah, it's 150 to 300. Yeah, you could hit anything in this arena with your bow. Bet your butt I could.
Starting point is 00:17:52 I'm just confused what I should do. I feel like we've already got enough people in the water thing. Yeah, I think focusing on getting that Osmond taken care of is not a bad thing. Yeah, it's just gum gum underwater. I got him. I got him. All right. Well, you know the thing about a gum-Gum, it's got lifeless eyes.
Starting point is 00:18:08 Black eyes, like a dog's eyes. Just imagine Gum-Gum swimming like a shark. Gum-Gum doggy paddles. Alright, I'll take a shot at... Real fast, Micah sent me a quick correction. It was Gum-Gum and Kyborg who successfully made the saving throw against the wind, not Mud. So Mud, you would have been blown away.
Starting point is 00:18:26 So you would have approached where Gum-Gum jumped into the water from the north, from where Bart was, instead of coming from the south. Would that impair my ability to reach that point anymore? No, no, no. Just for clarity, you came from the other direction. Thank you for clarity. Thank you, Micah. Okay, sorry to interrupt, Blaine.
Starting point is 00:18:40 You're good. Oh, and Vinkane... Shoot. Knive? No, not knife. V... V-Head. Head Ward is fighting with...
Starting point is 00:18:50 Spectral. Spectral. Spectral. Okay. I don't feel like I need to intervene. Based on your rolls, I feel like they're probably not doing much damage. It seems like they're in a slappy fight. Well, they're also...
Starting point is 00:18:59 I mean, that's what's causing a lot of the magic. Remember, there were lightning strikes that almost hit you guys. There was the wind that blew you around. The snow melted because of the fallout. It's actually a huge battle going on. If we were in Warcraft right now, I would scream, please don't pull aggro. Oh, okay. Yeah, then I'll just take a shot at Osman because I don't know what he's doing.
Starting point is 00:19:19 He's just running away, I guess. Ooh, 16. That does hit. Damage is 13. 13? That's That does hit. Damage is 13. 13? That's so much damage. Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah, it is, Gus. Oops, all damage. I rolled a D8. I rolled an 8 on a
Starting point is 00:19:33 D8, so. Yeah, wow. I mean, you let an arrow fly and it hits him. He's running away from you, so it probably hits him in the lower back and he seems to double over. It looks like he's in incredible pain. He's not looking very good, barely clinging to life down there.
Starting point is 00:19:50 We already debated if that's an attack of opportunity, opportunity. Why did I say it like that? What? Sorry, I'm having a stroke. Never mind, never mind. He's running away so I thought I would get an attack of opportunity but I think that we already discussed that and it is not in the cards.
Starting point is 00:20:05 Opportunity, opportunity? He would have to leave the space that you are threatening with a melee attack. So he'd have to be, like, within five feet of you. That's when you get, like, a melee attack of opportunity. Okay. Prestidigitation, is that a bonus? Prestidigitation. Casting time is one action, so no.
Starting point is 00:20:23 Okay. There's nothing else I can do. I was going to see if I could help Gum-Gum in some way, but I'll take my shot. Chip away at that Aussie. After landing that sweet shot, I do like a spin, a slight moonwalk, and then a hee-hee.
Starting point is 00:20:38 Always with style. Make a performance check. Roll for slipping on the ice. Performance check. Oh, God. You go prone. You die. Yeah, you fall on one of those stalactites. Negative two. Ooh, slipping on the ice. Performance check. Oh, God. You go prone. You die. Yeah, you fall on one of those stalactites.
Starting point is 00:20:47 Negative two. Ooh, that's a zero. Oh, he got a two minus two on performance. You try to give it your best Michael Jackson impression, but it falls very flat. He chokes on his spit while he tries to go. You choke. your voice cracks, the ice cracks under your feet.
Starting point is 00:21:08 So cool. Fortunately, no one was looking. Everyone was very busy. He farts a little bit. Micah says your shoelaces get tied together. Magically. By themselves. Okay, it's Osman's turn.
Starting point is 00:21:22 But around the same time that it's his turn, you see Ward hurl a massive anchor to Spectral's back. You see lightning strike all around the arena. Not really close to you guys like last time, but still all over the place, all around the arena. Very dangerous. Okay, Osman doesn't have to run away anymore. Osman, what will you do?
Starting point is 00:21:41 Run away and never return, like Scar said to Simba. Is it either a Simpsons reference or it's a... Run away, Simba. Or Disney. Yeah. Okay. He is... He's not happy that Kyborg did so much damage to him.
Starting point is 00:21:57 I wouldn't be either. And Bart. Psychic damage. Well, he can physically see where the arrow came from. He knows that. So he readies his pickaxe, the one that's shaped like an anchor, and he throws it at you, Kyborg.
Starting point is 00:22:11 How far is this dude? It's about 50 feet away or so. Okay. That is a 17 plus 7. That's a 24, which I assume is a hit. Yeah, this is a big hit. Kyborg's about to get hit by a giant pickaxe. I'm just like, wee!
Starting point is 00:22:28 It's going to be like a Roadrunner cartoon where there's a giant shadow that's just getting larger. You take six points of piercing damage from it. Not bad. And now you need to make a strength saving throw. Ah, my specialty. Here we go. 20.
Starting point is 00:22:47 Oh, it's a 14 plus a six. It's a 20. The pick, you know, hits you and tries, you know, you feel it pulling at you like he's trying to pull you closer to him. But, you know, you plant your feet after your smooth Michael Jackson moves and hold your own. And the pick, you know, pulls free and retracts back to Osmond. Oh.
Starting point is 00:23:06 He pulls it back. He was trying to Mjolnir you. Is it hooked up by a chain or magic? Yeah, you see now he's got like a rope on it. Oh, he's scorpioning me. Scorpioning me. He tried to. He said, get over here.
Starting point is 00:23:20 Get over here. All right. Now what's he going to do? He's going to try to move a little bit to the east to get back up to the ridge, try to get the higher ground and survey the situation. Don't do it, Anakin. Snow Bist. He is also going to continue swimming to the east.
Starting point is 00:23:39 He's slowed down. So normally he'd be able to move 20 feet in this water. But you said you were slowing him down, right? John, with your shape water? Yeah. Okay, yeah. So normally he'd move 20 feet, but we'll say instead he moves half of that.
Starting point is 00:23:51 So he's only able to move 10 feet this round. And continues moving to the east. Your spell actually probably did a lot of help because if you hadn't slowed him down with 20 feet, he'd probably been able to get to the edge back up to the land at this point. So you kept him in the water this turn. So he's
Starting point is 00:24:07 underwater, right? Yes. Gum Gum, you're up, then Sleek, then Bart. Okay. And you're underwater as well. Can I swim towards the guy? Snow Bice. The creature and little Nye. Science guy. Knife.
Starting point is 00:24:23 Yeah, you have, what do we say, 15 feet of swim? Yeah. How far away are they? Yeah, I'm trying to think how far you'd get. So he only moved 10 this time. He was a, yeah, you would get, you would, I would say on this turn, you would catch up to them. Can I catch up to them and try and grab the kid?
Starting point is 00:24:41 Yeah, make like an opposed strength check with the snow bice to see if you can pull knife out if you use his name you won't you won't forget it as often knife I'm gonna let you go first okay wait wait wait wait 13 but I'm raging so I'm an advantage a strength check yeah that's a 16 plus I'm gonna also use my bonus thing that Bart gave me, like, last, like, forever ago. Flapped my butt. How forever ago was it?
Starting point is 00:25:07 It was in the fight of the, with the lord of the guy that was trying to. Are you able to use it that far away from when I gave it to you? Yeah, that's why I'm asking. Well, timeline-wise, it was within an hour, right? Which buff was it? Was it Bardic Inspiration? Bardic Inspiration. It only lasts for 10 minutes. Oh.
Starting point is 00:25:26 So no, it would have been longer than that. Dang. Well, then 16 it is. Okay, 16. Still a pretty good roll. I'm going to roll for the Snow Bist. The Snow Bist has a plus 4 on this roll. You can do it. Come, come. God, a 2 plus 4 is 6. Yes! Woo!
Starting point is 00:25:42 Yeah, I'll say you get in there and start wrestling with the snow bice. You probably caught him by surprise. You probably didn't realize you had jumped in and were swimming after him, so he didn't really have as solid of a grip on Knives as he could have had. So yeah, you sneak up in there and pull Knives away
Starting point is 00:25:57 out of his arm. He didn't hear Gum Gum just constantly saying, da-da, da-da, da-da. Sorry, and then, do I have any ability to swim back, or is that pretty much my Constantly saying, da-da, da-da, da-da. Sorry. And then do I have any ability to swim back, or is that pretty much my movement? No, that was your entire movement, because your move is 15.
Starting point is 00:26:13 You used all of that to catch up to them. Then your action was the strength check to try to pull Nive away. So you're still there next to the snowbice. So now I'm just hugging the kid. You got him. You got him out of the snowbice grip, so that's good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:27 Sleek. Sleek, my friend. What can you do? Sleek now has no friends. Sleek being friends with the DM is like being friends with the cafeteria lady at school. That's not a real thing. That's great. That's a burn.
Starting point is 00:26:45 Your anti-sleek agenda is affecting the rest of the party, Blaine. It really is. Good. I'm sorry. How much damage did Sleek do his last turn? One. He's trying. Tried a lot harder when he was trying to destroy a city.
Starting point is 00:27:01 How many times do I have to say it? I do not have to say it? I do not have my loot. Maybe you guys should be looking for his loot. That way he can do more damage. Wait, would he even be around? Like, I thought we left that way back. We're in like some foreign land. What's-her-face has it.
Starting point is 00:27:22 Paralite took it. And Paralite's not here. Correct. So just whatever that boy's going to doite took it. And Paralite's not here. Correct. So just whatever that boy's going to do, do it. Whatever his turn is. Go ahead, Sleek. Waste your time. We're waiting.
Starting point is 00:27:33 He's going to go ahead and... Oh, what's he going to do? He's going to cast a spell. Oh, watch out, guys. Hold your breath. Here we go. Oh, me. Que? Oh, guys. Hold your breath. Here we go. Oh, me.
Starting point is 00:27:46 Game. Oh, lay. He casts a spell, and you see one of the polar bears that was up on the ridge turn around and start running towards Osman. Do we want to know what spell he cast? Nah. You can make an arcana check. Mud checks to see if Sleek cast fear. 13.
Starting point is 00:28:04 13. 13. You think that he cast some kind of enchantment on that polar bear. To ally with Osmond. Weird. To help him. Yeah. Where are we? That's Sleek.
Starting point is 00:28:20 Bart. After Bart is Knife, then Mud. Just FYI. I am a little concerned about Spectral right now since he's off fighting Ward by himself. Am I within 90 feet of him? I'm on the north side of the donut. Yeah, you're within 90 feet.
Starting point is 00:28:37 Excellent. I don't know if this will work, but could I try to cast Sleep on Ward? Oh, that's an interesting one. Sleep. Yeah, I mean, you can cast it. You just need to see how many hit points of creatures you can affect. So you pick a point and then within 20 feet of there, you know, you would roll hit points or hit die 5d8 and determine how many hit points you affect.
Starting point is 00:29:04 You can try it. I will say in the past, because you have to roll 5d8 with higher level creatures, you normally don't roll high enough to affect them. Like even if you rolled all eights, you could affect him if he had 40 hit points. Okay. So it's probably not going to work.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Yeah. Just from a math perspective, it's like, it's tricky. And on, you know, you would know from here that he probably has more than that. Like he's probably not going to work. Yeah, just from a math perspective, it's like, it's tricky. And on, you know, you would know from here that he probably has more than that. Like he's probably too strong and would resist the sleep. For reference, mud is 36 hit points
Starting point is 00:29:34 and I'm not a boss. Copy. How far am I from them right now then? Spectral and ward? Yeah. Say about 50 to 60 feet, somewhere in that range. Let's say it's 50. Okay. Let's say it's 50.
Starting point is 00:29:45 Okay, let's say it's 50. So could I move my maximum walking speed towards them? So that would be 25 feet? Yes. And then could I try to cast Suggestion on Ward? Suggestion. So range is 30 feet. So that's why you want to get closer.
Starting point is 00:30:03 Yeah. I must make a wisdom saving throw, but you could try to persuade them to do something, as long as it sounds reasonable to them. And as long as it doesn't, it's not like asking them to hurt themselves, essentially. Right. It says that you must be warded in a way
Starting point is 00:30:17 to make the course of action sound reasonable. So not like stab itself or light itself on fire or do something obviously harmful. My suggestion would be stop fighting Spectral and leave him be. Stop fighting Spectral, leave him be. So he has to make a wisdom saving throw. Looks like it's DC 13. Fart often doesn't choose violence.
Starting point is 00:30:41 10. What is his wisdom? Less than three. Less than three. Less than three. It is plus one, so 11. Yay! Yay! Are you suggesting for him to do something other?
Starting point is 00:30:53 No, just to stop fighting Spectral. So Spectral's just going to keep beating on him while he does nothing. I just imagine an infinite we want to keep safe. Sure, sure. Yeah, of the two, there's one that we need to take home with us. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:31:09 I don't like this. Okay, yeah. You see Ward seems like he, you know, almost like powers down a little bit. You know, he takes a step back and seems to be not as aggressive in his posturing. Good, good. Bart does that, like, thing thatris pratt does in uh jurassic park with the velociraptors blue put your hands out yeah uh okay so that duration is concentration up to eight hours oh wow yeah so i'll just i'm still concentrating. Okay. Where are we? So that was Bar, Knife.
Starting point is 00:31:45 Knife is now in Gum-Gum's arms. So he is not going to resist. He'll delay any action until something else happens. Mud, you're up. And then after Mud is Kaiba. Well, I've caught a Gum-Gum and a Knife. So can I reel them in? Here we go.
Starting point is 00:32:03 Can I reel them in, get them away from the snowbites? Yeah, you'd have to make like a strength check to pull them in because they're pretty heavy and they have a lot of drag on them, so you could do that Then I cast guidance on myself and do a strength check You gonna cast bud light while you're out there
Starting point is 00:32:20 fishing? Nat 20 plus 2 plus 3. 25. 25. You really put your back into it. You feel otherworldly strength coursing through your veins, and you start pulling on the rope.
Starting point is 00:32:37 And, yeah, I will say you're able to pull both Gum-Gum and Knives back up onto the shore by you. Oh, it's a big one. Oh, I've got a big one! It's coming in! Oh, I've got it! I've got it! I wanna see you take the picture of you holding up Gum Gum upside down. It's a five-footer. It's funny because, like, in my mind,
Starting point is 00:32:57 Gum Gum and Mud are, like, similar size and weight, even though I know that's not true, but, like, that's just how I picture you guys, so it's just like... It's biggin'. Yeah, and I... that's not true, but, like, that's just how I picture you guys, so it's just like... He's bigging. And I smell Tyrant. I mean, Gum-Gum's close. Gum-Gum's pretty big. He's big.
Starting point is 00:33:11 No one's as big as Mud. Okay, you pull him out, and as you pull him out into the water, Knives says... Thank you both. That was a close one. It looks like we're not far from the sacred tree. If someone can distract the snow beast,
Starting point is 00:33:29 Mud and I can get to the tree. Close. Very good. At distractions, that's my little gum gum. All right. That's your whole turn, I take it, Mud? Yeah, I figured that's all I can do, right?
Starting point is 00:33:40 Other than bonus actions? Yeah, unless you had like a bonus action or something. I would love to turn into a swimmy thing, but I don't have swimming ability yet, I don't think. Do I? Even if you turn into a creature that can swim? Oh, I can swim now, right? I think that spell got upgraded when we leveled
Starting point is 00:33:55 up last time, or, like, last time I was able to upgrade that spell, and I think I might be at swimmy's level. Can I check that real quick? Because I might want to turn into something that's got some good swim speed. You can, but with the caveat that you have to wear floaties. This is for Wild Shape? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:11 As of level four, you just can't fly. Well then. Mud turns into a... Wild Shape is an action. Nope. Nope. Oh, you have Combat Wild Shape. I got Combat Wild Shape. You can use Wild Shape as a bonus action.
Starting point is 00:34:28 So, yeah. I feel like you should get an Inspiration Die taken away if you tell the DM, nope. I like the way Barbara thinks. If he's wrong? No, I know. Teacher, that is incorrect. Yeah, at level two, your limitations are no flying or swimming speed, but then when you hit level four,
Starting point is 00:34:47 it's only no flying speed. Yeah, so I'm going to turn into a sea otter. Sea otter versus snowbeast. Fight. Cool, there's now an otter on the shore next to Gum Gum and Knife. They're otterby. Hey.
Starting point is 00:35:02 That's good. That wasn't good. I'll see myself. Kyborg. How's Osman looking? Not great. Not great at all. Okay. So this entire time
Starting point is 00:35:16 Fred, the little fox, has been perching up like out from under my shirt you know? Because that's where I've been keeping him. My little fox. And I give him a kiss on the head because this one's for him. Zosman's responsible for him being in the fighting pits.
Starting point is 00:35:31 And then I take a shot. The longbow of triumph. Yikes. That's a 10. He rolled a 10. Why do you hate your fox so much? Inspiration die. The fox is telling you to save him.
Starting point is 00:35:43 No, no, no. Inspiration die. Inspiration die. He's save him. No, no, no. Inspiration die. Inspiration die. He's whimpering. 18. 18. That actually hits, unlike a 10. All right.
Starting point is 00:35:52 And rolling for damage. It's a one plus five, six. Okay. Yeah. The arrow. This one flies. Flies true. Hits Osman in the neck.
Starting point is 00:36:04 He falls to his knees, and he looks at you, raises a fist, and says, the hunter becomes the hunted, and he collapses dead. Loser. I can't hear you. You're really far away.
Starting point is 00:36:20 What? What? It's like that scene from Shazam where Mark Strong is monologuing super far away I can't you're like 80 feet away from me dude perfect scene
Starting point is 00:36:33 do you have any questions about the show perhaps a query for the cast or a character maybe you're curious what's going on behind the Dungeon Master screen. Go ahead and post it on Twitter using hashtag StinkyDragonPod. It might end up in the show. Speaking of social media, give us a follow on Twitter and Instagram at StinkyDragonPod. Maybe
Starting point is 00:36:56 share a post that we put there with other people that you know or you're friends with. It's a really good way to help the podcast grow. We would really appreciate it. If you engage on social media, you might end up as a character, as an NPC in the show. Speaking of characters, we do, you know, cast
Starting point is 00:37:12 other people here at Rooster Teeth as some of the voices. So we want to give a shout out to Spectral who's being played by Christian Young at XChinYoung from Rooster Teeth Broadcast. I guess at XChin Cross Chin Young Christian Youngoster Teeth Broadcast. I guess at X Chin Cross Chin Young, Christian Young.
Starting point is 00:37:29 It's kind of a play on Christian. Play on his name there. Captain Marge is the host of the podcast, No Dumb Answers. Zoe at Zoe Terhune. She's also a longtime staff person here at Rooster Teeth. So a big thank you to Christian and Zoe
Starting point is 00:37:43 for being voices. Looking for a change of scenery? Come on over. Let us give you the tour. Grab a paddle and explore. Hit the trails and go. When you're ready, kick back and call it a night. New Brunswick. Always inviting.
Starting point is 00:38:09 Visit tourismnewbrunswick.ca What's behind the Dairy Farmers of Canada Blue Cow logo on your favourite dairy products? It's high Canadian standards. Which means we meet 42 food safety requirements. We work with a team of animal care experts and work towards a sustainable future. That's what this logo certifies. We're behind the Blue Cow logo. Dairy Farmers of Canada. That's Dairy Farming Forward. That was Kyborg.
Starting point is 00:38:54 It's Osman's turn. He just continues to be dead. It's super effective. Nat 20. Yeah. Snow Bist. He's going to... He's going to swim after Gum-Gum and Knife. Tracks.
Starting point is 00:39:12 And comes out, pulls himself up onto the shore. He's going to look at his foes in front of him, but he's most mad at Gum-Gum for taking Knife from him. He, like, focuses his gaze on you, Gum-Gum, and you need to make a constitution saving throw. Oh, yeah. 22. Oh, Gum-Gum glares back. Blue steel.
Starting point is 00:39:32 Except he doesn't know what glaring actually is, so he's just blinking really hard. You know, you stare back at him, which he takes as an insult, so he roars in your face. Then takes a swipe at you with his left claw. Hitting on a 23, which I assume is a hit. Yeah, it hits. So what of it?
Starting point is 00:39:50 It does 5 points of slashing damage where you take half of that because you're raging, so you take 2. But you also take a little bit of cold damage from that, which is not halved. You take 5 points of cold damage. I have a question. Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:07 That move I just did, I count as an attack. What move? Me fighting, grabbing the little kid. No, it's not an attack. It's just an action. Well, then I think my rage would have ended. Do you have to attack? Rage ends early if you're knocked unconscious or if your turn ends and you haven't attacked
Starting point is 00:40:21 since your last turn. Oh, yeah, your rage would have ended. I don't think I've ever encountered that with a barbarian before. or if your turn ends, you haven't attacked since your last turn. Oh, yeah, your rage would have ended. I don't think I've ever encountered that with a barbarian before. Rage ending? Yeah, rage ends because they fail to attack. Oh, interesting. That's why I wanted to attack at the end there.
Starting point is 00:40:39 Oh, I see. Did you just out yourself? You know, that's fair. That's honest, So I appreciate that. Instead, on the first attack, instead of taking two, then you take five points on that one. Just in spite of you, I put my shield back on. And then the Snow Bice
Starting point is 00:40:56 makes a second claw attack with its right claw. Not to be confused with a white claw. But he totally misses and stumbles a little bit. He's just so furious. He can't control himself. He's a little off balance now.
Starting point is 00:41:10 Gum Gum, it's your turn. All right. Then after Gum Gum, a couple of NPCs and then Bart. So they're about to swim away, right? Him and the kid? They haven't said that, but Mud turned into a sea otter. And you did hear Knive talk about going to the tree. So it's a pretty safe assumption that yes, but they are still there with you.
Starting point is 00:41:30 All right. Well, then I'm going to rage again, I guess. Rage against the machine. I'm a wee wage. And roll my thingy. I didn't even use my last thing that made the weapon come back to me. Oh, right. One, which is, let's see here.
Starting point is 00:41:49 Shadowy tendrils lash around you. Each creature of your choice that you can see within 30 feet of you must succeed. Constitution, saving throw, or take D12 necrotic. Oh, that's a good one. I also gain D12 temporary hit points. Yeah. That was great. Okay, so the only enemy within 30 feet of you is the snowbeist
Starting point is 00:42:06 yeah um and i want to shadowy tindals flashing tendles tendles tendrils he has a plus three on this roll ten so that's a fail yes yay so you want to go and uh roll that necrotic damage for it? Eight points. Eight points, yes. It says shadowy tendrils creep up from the ground and start enveloping the snowbeist. And then I want to, I'm still raging, right? For my move, can I, there's nothing to tie the rope to. Can I try and grapple the thing so it can't swim away towards the others?
Starting point is 00:42:47 You could. Micah also suggests you could tie it to a tendril. Okay, yeah. I'll do that. That's a good suggestion. Thank you, Micah. I'm going to tie the... Well, I have to tie the rope to the creature first, right?
Starting point is 00:43:03 Yes. the rope to the creature first, right? Yes. Can I roar back at it and try and tie the rope to the snow-biced? Yeah, like I said, after his last attack, he was off balance, so I'll give you a bonus to try to do it. Go ahead and make a sleight of hand check
Starting point is 00:43:20 with advantage to try to get it around him. Okay, that's a three and a 10. Sure, we'll say you're able to get it around him. Okay. That's a three and a ten? Sure, we'll say you're able to loop it around him with a ten. Okay. And you're able to start that process. Alright. You're not as tight as me, jerk. We're friends.
Starting point is 00:43:38 Is your friendship, is a modified friendship bracelet? No, because we're not friends. We're not friends. Friendship necklace, this one. Friendship bracelets, enemy necklace. Enemy necklace. Gum-Gum almost did a Rorschach. He could have been like, you're not trapped down here with me.
Starting point is 00:43:54 Yeah, I'm not trapped down here with you. Yeah, Gum-Gum's not quite that clever. No. I tie it around him. Good to get out of here. Is that it for you, Gum-Gum? I think that's all. Because that counts.
Starting point is 00:44:08 That's by attack, right? No, that's just an action. Because his rage was his tendrils, and that's not an action. Correct. And then he did the tying thing. Tying, that's just an action. That's not an attack action. Oh.
Starting point is 00:44:19 You could substitute the tying as like a move action. So could he actually just attack the snow bike? Yeah, he could. Yeah, all right. Yeah, that's an interaction with an object. Cool. Do it. And then I'm going to attack it with my greataxe recklessly.
Starting point is 00:44:32 I'm just going crazy. He's pushing all the buttons. Which is 19. Oh, wait, no, 21. Oh, nice. Even better. Believe it or not, that hits. No, really?
Starting point is 00:44:45 This unarmored animal? Really? 17 points of damage. 17 points of damage? Wait, and that's 19 with rage. Good Lord. He rolled a D12 and rolled a 12. Wow.
Starting point is 00:44:56 12 plus 5, 17 plus 2 from rage, 19. Yeah. I mean, your great axe lands a mighty blow on the snow bice who roars in pain from the blow. Yeah. He's pretty beat up. Yeah, that's a lot of damage. Are they still underwater? No, they're on the shore.
Starting point is 00:45:16 Okay, okay. Gum Gum and the snow bice are on the shore. Got it. Sleek. Man, there's not much to do at this point. Oh, prepare. Sleek's coming. Here we go, guys. Let's get ready. What's he much to do at this point. Oh, prepare. Sleek's coming.
Starting point is 00:45:26 Here we go, guys. Let's get ready. What's he going to do? Well, we've basically got two objectives right now. Either get the stuff to the tree or deal with Osmond and Spectral. No, Ward and Spectral. Yeah, and Bart kind of has Ward under control at this point. Well, maybe he should talk to his friend.
Starting point is 00:45:44 Hey, what? Spectral and Sleek. They're supposed to be buddies. They're friends. They know each other. They're infinites. Oh, I thought you meant me. And I was like, I'm distracting Ward right now. Yeah, you got that. Yeah, so then the one useful thing Sleek could do right now is to go and just like calm
Starting point is 00:46:00 Spectral down and like, you know, grab a cigarette with him or something. I don't know. That's not a bad idea. Yeah. Sleek will... No smoking, kids. Sleek will start making his way over to the eastern edge of the arena to try to get over to the grandstands to get closer to Spectral.
Starting point is 00:46:18 Good. Then after him, that polar bear that was running towards Osman before changes course and starts making a beeline for the snowbeist. Jumps in the water. Polar bears are adept swimmers. Quickly gets through the water and pops up next to Gum-Gum and the snowbeist. Does he have enough to attack?
Starting point is 00:46:40 He does not have enough. It was too far. He had to double move to get over there. He just jumps in. Hello. That was too far. He had to double move to get over there. He just jumps in. Hello. Bart. Then after Bart is Knife, then Mud. So right now, my concentration
Starting point is 00:46:53 is on Ward. Correct. Keeping him from fighting Spectral. Yeah, you're keeping your suggestion going. Yes. Use that Bardic charm and get Spect spectral to chill his beans. I don't know if I could do that to two. I don't think I
Starting point is 00:47:10 could do that to two. Oh no, I meant like literally your actual just charm. Your natural bardic you know. You're a charming guy. I am very charming. So charming in fact that while I'm charming one fella let me try to talk down the other.
Starting point is 00:47:27 Maybe. Do we want him to come help us? Like, what are we, I guess, what are we trying to get Spectral to do at this point? I mean, we definitely need him to stop trying to commit walrus genocide. Yeah. And also to, yeah, come back with us
Starting point is 00:47:43 because we need to retrieve him. So there's a few things to... We talked to God. Am I close enough, I guess, for Spectral to hear me? You had closed to within 30 feet. Yeah. So, I mean, you can try. Yeah, you know, it's...
Starting point is 00:47:56 Plus, there's a lot of weather effects and things going on, a lot of magic in the air. So it's loud, but, you know, if you shouted, you could try. Spectral! Spectral! do i see him respond yeah he'll he'll uh turn and look in the direction of you uh bart starts waving his little hands in the air and he goes you don't need to do this he's standing down come help us come with. It's not worth it, buddy. Kind of like one of those negotiation specialists that you see. Like a hostage negotiator or something. Help me help you. Help me help you.
Starting point is 00:48:35 Get away from the lich. Step away from the walrus. It's not worth it. He's definitely looking at you. You're not sure if he's like, you think he can hear you, but you're not sure if he's listening. But he's definitely looking. Make a persuasion check. You got it.
Starting point is 00:48:52 It's a 16. 16. That's not bad. He seemed like he was so angry, like out of his mind. Not the same Leonard that you saw before. But he does seem to be like focusing on you and listening to what you're saying now. Remember you're Leonard Link.
Starting point is 00:49:09 Remember who you are. Remember, remember the something of November. Yeah. It's like, it's like Mufasa in the clouds. Remember who you are. Good.
Starting point is 00:49:22 Good. Yeah. Um, does that do anything? Yeah, he turns and he seems like he's listening to you. He takes like a step or two in your direction. He definitely seems like, you know, his aggressive posture seems to be lessened. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:36 Bart just starts nodding and kind of like motioning towards himself. Yeah, like his knives in his hands seems to like, you know, he's not holding them up in an offensive posture anymore. They seem to be like down and maybe like being held loosely in his hands. Bart, the persuader. Gotta have, you know, a peacemaker on the team somehow. One of us has to have people skills. It's either Bart talks to them or Kyborg arrows them. They're two different methods.
Starting point is 00:50:02 Yeah, it's Knives' turn. Knives, you know, I guess he would look at the otter very excitedly, but then, you know, he would say, Come on, we have to hurry. And then he dives into the water. Yay. It's a good underwater adventure. Oh, he's a walrus.
Starting point is 00:50:18 Yeah, he can. Yeah. Quick, Micah, make an underwater theme similar to, like, Sonic or Mario, where it's, like, what we've been listening to. No, no. The water. Donkey Kong. Oh, yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:50:27 We can do Donkey Kong. Fine. God's got a great set. What? Underwater? Donkey Kong's fine. He said it sounds like blub, blub, blub. Classic.
Starting point is 00:50:40 Mud. You're up. Then after mud is Kaibou. I jump in the water and I am how far from the tree? Oh, you're an otter, so you have, like, swim speed. What's your swim speed? I know, it's 40. 40?
Starting point is 00:50:52 Yeah, so you could get there, uh, you know, Valorossians are walrus people, so they also swim pretty easily, so you're both able to get to the tree. Well, I guess you're able to get there, and Knive is already there when you get to the tree. Cool. Mud clenches all of his little otter muscles and tries to focus the amulet at the tree
Starting point is 00:51:12 by holding onto the tree and holding onto the amulet, or trying to push the amulet and the tree together, just doing whatever he can. Make him kiss. He's like, I don't understand exactly how this magic works, but I'm doing my best, Andy. Come on, give me something. Make an arcana check. That's only a five. I don't understand exactly how this magic works, but I'm doing my best, Andy. Come on, give me something.
Starting point is 00:51:27 Make an arcana check. That's only a five. I have an inspiration dice. Should I use an inspiration dice on an arcana check? Is that important? You got the little boy there. He probably knows what to do. This is a very sweet moment because it was his locket and it was your amulet.
Starting point is 00:51:42 You guys just happened to be there at the finish line doing the thing together. This isn't the thumbnail. I don't know what will be. There's not an auto in the thumbnail. Is the arcana check? I'm trying to figure out how to use this magic. Yeah, I mean, like you said, you're trying to make the magic work. Alright, I'll use my
Starting point is 00:51:59 inspiration dice. It's eight. So, three more. I have negative one in Arcana. That's exactly what you needed, though. Knife also pulls out his locket. He rolled a three. He rolled a three. My rolls have been terrible today.
Starting point is 00:52:15 It's just a little boy and his dumb otter not knowing how to use magic. Yeah, Knife pulls out his locket, and he begins casting with it. And he looks at you and kind of points at your amulet and points at the tree. I'm not. I'm trying. I'm seriously trying. This thing, I didn't even find this thing. This thing came to me, and I've only successfully used it, like, twice.
Starting point is 00:52:39 I still don't understand it. You try to talk, but it's just like bubbles are coming out of your mouth, like gurgling sound. Are we underwater? Yeah. Well, as an otter, I should be able to talk underwater. I think that should be an ability that I have. It's like in cartoons when the bubbles reach the surface, they pop, and then you can hear the words out on the surface.
Starting point is 00:52:59 Yeah, in that case, you're right. I guess an otter would be able to communicate underwater. So instead of just pointing at his locket and pointing at you, you would hear Knives say, I'm going to cast Sunbeam. You need to cast Moonbeam. Okay, I cast Moonbeam. There you go.
Starting point is 00:53:15 I forgot you did send me that move a while back. I have no idea where that is. She pulls out a tiny otter-sized book and is just scrolling through. No, Mud remembers the feeling that he had in that room where he first cast it correctly on that spectral creature, and he tries to accomplish that same feeling again. Okay. You hear Knife chant the arcane words.
Starting point is 00:53:44 Solaris looks. What arcane words. Solaris Lux. What arcane words do you say, Mud? Moon, river. It's working. It's working. It's a lovely spell to cast. You hear a really loud kaboom and a deafening explosion discharges from the center of the arena, throwing everyone to the ground. A blend of orange and blue radiance shoots straight into the sky and brilliant beams cascade from overhead like waterfalls of light. The once thundering clouds fade to reveal the night sky brimming with twinkling stars and silver moonlight.
Starting point is 00:54:20 The powdery snow underground melts away into a glade of green grass and blossoms. The powdery snow on the ground melts away into a glade of green grass and blossoms. In the center of it all stands a towering evergreen tree emitting a soft glow and a fresh scent of pine. A little tear comes from Bart's eye. Out from behind the tree steps a radiant woman clothed in multicolored leaves and draped with clouds. Andi! Andi, the goddess, looks to Mud and Knive with kind eyes, sparkling like lightning, and says, Thank you, mud of the bumblecracks and knife of the gorns.
Starting point is 00:54:53 I am grateful to you and your friends for your acts of bravery. It's actually bramblecrack, but it's fine if you didn't get the name right. Of the bramblecracks. You said bumblecrack. Did I say bumble? I said bramble. I heard You said Bumble Crack. Did I say Bumble? I said Bramble. I heard Bumble. I'm fine.
Starting point is 00:55:10 I like the idea. I like the idea of God coming down and saying my name wrong. That's fine. John Reisinger. Yeah. Oh, man. Someone else does that voice anyway. It's fine.
Starting point is 00:55:23 They better say it wrong. They'll say it right. I give Knife a little high five and it's adorable because it's an otter and a little boy high fiving. It's like straight out of a Disney movie. An otter and a walrus. Don't forget. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Andi's gaze turns towards Spectral and
Starting point is 00:55:37 Ward in the stands. And now it's time the truth came out. Andi closes her eyes and reaches down to the roots of the tree. The tree begins to pulse with light and suddenly Andi's voice reverberates in your minds. Ishbjorn, Valrostians, cease this cycle of violence at once and heed my words. I am Andi, the goddess of changing seasons and protector of this land. You are protector.
Starting point is 00:56:04 You may look different. You may have different traditions and you may have been told different stories about me, but the truth is you are one people. My people. For too long, a bitter winter of bloodshed and rivalry has plagued this land, but no longer. Now is the time for spring and sunshine. Now is the time we heal this land together. It won't be easy and it will take time. But I promise to remain among you and lead you all through this age of
Starting point is 00:56:33 restoration together. But first, it is time this fight was put to rest. Your eyes all start to feel heavy and the world around slowly fades to black. What, all of us? She's going to kill everyone. Genocide.
Starting point is 00:56:48 Yeah, you all are dead. Everyone, thanks for listening to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I'm really glad I'm not in the water still. I just drowned. Gum gum falls asleep. That all like disappeared. Like all the water went away. You know, it all dissipated and turned into like a spring-like setting.
Starting point is 00:57:03 Yeah, grass and beautiful tree and all that stuff. Everyone go ahead and you can mark a long rest. The longest rest of all. Yay. Oh, because we did die. The longest rest ever. Then after you all mark that long rest, everyone go ahead and make me a perception check.
Starting point is 00:57:20 22. 21 for Bart. 5 for Blaine. I mean, Kyborg. 1 for Gum-Gum. Nice. We'll start with Gum-Gum and Kyborg with their 1 and their 5. You feel a snug blanket wrapped around you, the crackling of a warm fire nearby, and the aroma of fresh coffee.
Starting point is 00:57:37 It's so cozy. Do you have to wake up? Nah, not really, right? No. Bart and Mud, both of you open your eyes and you see uh everyone's resting in separate beds in a room with large windows overlooking the ocean bathed with sun uh you both also notice andy knives sleek and spectral are all standing outside down by the docks it looks like they're talking about something and looking out to the sea you both also actually
Starting point is 00:58:03 spot something out to see it might be a whale or something else, but it's difficult to make out with the sun reflecting off the water. Could I go inspect what's out in the water? Or could I try to look harder through my window? You'd probably have to get out onto the dock, like try to go out and get closer. It's difficult to see from here
Starting point is 00:58:20 with the light reflecting off the water and the glass and everything. You need to get out and get a much closer look. Okay. Let's go. Could I go out onto the dock and take a look? Yeah. You stand up out of your bed, and you look around,
Starting point is 00:58:34 and you see that there's a fresh pot of coffee nearby with some giant steins. There's also a bowl of fruit and good berries. And you see Hannibal, Gumbo, and Fred all curled up together by the fire. Wow. I love this part of the story. Let's just live in this existence for the rest of the time. Paralite? Who's that?
Starting point is 00:58:57 So you want to head out? Does anybody else want to head out? Anybody want to get coffee? Yeah, yeah. I said let's go. I wanted to go. Before I head out, I want to give all the animals just a little chin scritch. Just a little.
Starting point is 00:59:08 Just a little. Animal bites you. No. Snake. Roll for venom in him. He's venomous. You die. So sorry.
Starting point is 00:59:16 Thus endeth the tale. Gum Gum seizes and raises his chin to be scratched. Yeah, I was going to ask if Gum Gum is also included in one of the animals. Yes, of course. I mean, I give him his ask if Gum Gum is also included in one of the animals. Yes, of course. I mean, I give him his morning daily scritches. And his leg kicks. Mud, I'm surprised you're not hitting up the coffee. Oh, there was coffee with steins.
Starting point is 00:59:33 Yeah, coffee with steins and fruit and good berries. Oh, yeah. God, it's been a while since Mud has had coffee. Mud makes like two giant mugs of it. Two steins of coffee. Just double fisting, like just big old mugs of coffee. Oh, man. This is where I live now.
Starting point is 00:59:51 Man, now I want coffee. Just talking about coffee makes me want more. Yeah, I do too. I also, Kyborg drinks a coffee. He loves coffee. And then, oh, he also rolls for a constitution saving throw because it's time for his morning constitution. It's a poop joke because coffee makes you...
Starting point is 01:00:06 It's a diuretic. Never mind. Tim, what about you, Gum-Gum? Are you going to get any coffee? Are you going to head out as well? Do I need to get up, Bart? You should probably come with us, but we could go nap later if you want.
Starting point is 01:00:20 Okay. And then he kind of gets up, but I'm not happy about it. He, like, takes his pillow with him. Yeah. Gum Gum wants to sleep in. Bart, roll me a perception check. All right.
Starting point is 01:00:32 11. You see Andi at the dock, and she's looking at you. She's waving at you, and she's like waving at you to come down to where she's standing, down on the docks. All right. I mean, I was already on my way there, but I'm glad to know that I'll be wanted. I continue on. Bart turns around and sees that
Starting point is 01:00:51 Andi wasn't actually waving. Oh no! Does that thing where he waves back and then turns around and realizes that she's looking at someone behind him. And then he does the thing where he turns the wave into scratching like, scratching his head. Scratching his head.
Starting point is 01:01:07 Oh, I hate it. I hate it. I'm cringing. It's not even really happening. It's imagined. To happen to a god, though. You can't hide that. She knows. Yeah. As you all head down to the docks, you feel the spray of the ocean across your faces,
Starting point is 01:01:24 and the smell of salt water fills your nostrils. Andi turns to you with a soft smile and sparkling eyes. Good morning, interns. I trust you all feel rested? Quite, yeah. No. What's wrong with Gum-Gum? What's wrong, Gum-Gum?
Starting point is 01:01:40 You still wanted sleep. Gum-Gum needs 22 hours of sleep a day. So he's a little grumpy. I feel great. And he takes just a big old sip of coffee. Did you put any dirt in that coffee? Of course. I don't have to say it. I just want to make sure. Micah called you Grump Grump.
Starting point is 01:01:58 Grump Grump. Andi says, I expect you all might have some questions. But first, Spectral, or should I say Leonard, has something to say to you all. Right. I want to apologize to you all for putting you in an impossible position. I let my anger and sadness surrounding the loss of Yumi cloud my way. And sorry doesn't begin to make it up to you nor the people of this land.
Starting point is 01:02:33 And as I said before, I will answer for my crimes. But I've been talking with Sleek here, and a more pressing matter is at hands that I wish to help you all with. Sleek chimes in. That we both wish to help you all with. Sleek chimes in. That we both wish to help you with. I recognize that I've been a burden to you all, and I wish to make up for that too, but first we need to get back to Boulderay. A burden? No.
Starting point is 01:02:57 We've all equally loved you and appreciated your presence. Yeah, you too, Bart. You're not a burden. Knive also chimes in and says, Yes, indeed, and that's where I can help. I recognize I don't deserve the title V-King, nor do I wish to rule over this land, but I do wish to help,
Starting point is 01:03:15 and I do have resources that can assist you on your journey. I heard you might be in need of a ship. Bart. A ship, you say? Knife nods, and he points out to sea, and in the distance you see a ship approaching. This is what you
Starting point is 01:03:31 saw from the room earlier. And Knife says, But that's not all. You will need supplies for your voyage, and I hope this will cover it. Knife steps aside, and behind him sits a large chest. He reaches down and opens it up to reveal piles and piles of shimmering gold glistening in the sunlight.
Starting point is 01:03:46 Oh my goodness. How much? Oh, you haven't counted it yet. It's a very large chest filled with gold. Oh, naive. How much gold is that? It should be enough to get you where you're going and then have plenty left over still.
Starting point is 01:04:03 Excellent. Sweet. Well, that's going to be like 40. We're going on a cruise. Andi says, Yes, and there will be plenty of time for gathering supplies later. But I want to assure you all, I meant what I said last night. I plan to remain here at Kaltberg for as long as it takes to restore this land
Starting point is 01:04:24 and bring wholeness to its people. Knives has generously offered to help in any way he can. It will be a difficult transition, but I believe it's possible. Spectral says, Yes, and I plan to come back and be a part of that transition, but I think I should go with you all first. Sleek tells me that in your last fight with Paralyte, a few of your friends were taken and are being held captive? That's correct. Right. We totally remember that.
Starting point is 01:04:49 For any listeners who may have forgotten, as the party was heading through a portal to escape Paralyte in the Glock and Tower, Blink and Sordo were captured by her and taken prisoner. Uh, friend is a loose term. Yeah. Brink Tussler. Yeah, I know the name. Best known as
Starting point is 01:05:05 best friend of Kyborg. I do miss Sordo, though. Or maybe it's Kyborg who's best known as being best friends with Brink Tussler. No, that is no. That is what Kyborg is known for around this whole, like, all the lands. False. Spectral says, I believe I know where they're being
Starting point is 01:05:21 held, and I can take you there. It's tucked in a forest that actually isn't far from Boulderay. You might have even heard of it. The Elder Pines? Yes, we have heard of the Elder Pines. Can I take Spectral under my arm and be like, Hey man, listen, I've seen you at full power, and I want you to bring all that energy and all that courage and cool stuff to the next fight, okay?
Starting point is 01:05:46 Because if you kind of become a little lame, we're going to let you know, you know, like your friend here who is worthless to us. And then I point directly at Sleek, right in his face. I touch his nose even with my finger. Well, Austin is a dear friend of mine, and I'm sure he's doing everything he can to help you. He's really not, though. He's really not. So, like, are you missing, before we go, are you missing anything? A dumb lute? An accordion?
Starting point is 01:06:14 A wand? Is there anything we need to get before we go that's gonna affect your power abilities? Uh, no. I have everything I need in order to accomplish the mission. Great. I'm ready to go. I've got my boots. Okay. And it looks like the approaching ship is almost here.
Starting point is 01:06:30 And as it gets closer, you hear the faint sound of music. Spectral turns away from Kyborg and says, It feels strange. We're heading to the very place I ran away from. The place where Sleek and I were all. The Infinites lost control of our minds. But maybe we can finally bring it all to an end?
Starting point is 01:06:53 It's time we bring the fight to her. Interns, are you ready to fight Paralite? No. Define ready. I have to look at my calendar. It's a bit busy right now. That's the kind of enthusiasm I'd expect.
Starting point is 01:07:16 So we have three of the Infinite Knights, right? Maybe? Well, the other one's back getting healed by Dr. Ahem. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Where's the fourth one? Do we healed by Dr. Ahem. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Where's the fourth one? Do we know where she is? He is?
Starting point is 01:07:29 They is? They is. Do we know where they is? Is it? But the fourth one, is it Paralite? Is Paralite in Infinite? I thought so. It's a good thing we've gotten this whole thing figured out so well at this point.
Starting point is 01:07:40 We're fine. Let's go. Well, that is the end of the episode. The ship finally docks and lowers its anchor into the harbor. Bart, you're taken aback for a moment, wondering if you're dreaming in the ethereal plane again. But after you rub your eyes, there's no doubt in your mind as you reread the name of the ship across the bow, Jebediah.
Starting point is 01:08:15 It's your old ship led by none other than Captain Marge standing at the helm. Boom. Ahoy there mateys! We heard you'd be having a hundred year festival without us. So naturally we invited ourselves to the party. Ha ha ha ha ha! We also heard of our tall, dense, and handsome halfling
Starting point is 01:08:32 with music that can melt the hearts of angels. Something about he be needing a ride? What say ye, birdie boy? Papa? I'm home heard
Starting point is 01:08:48 all sailors on deck it's showtime just like we practiced a one, a two, a three a four Once upon a rhymeless time there was a halfling born With ginger hair and skin so fair, abandoned forlorn orphaned and without a home with nothing but some string he fashioned him a little lute and taught himself to sing listen to him play
Starting point is 01:09:38 take your breath away the bottom of our hearts We're head over heels in love with you Bartholomew Bartholomew the Bar Bar He grew into a densely boy He soared to four foot four
Starting point is 01:10:05 Far and wide he sought to find a family on shore His journey led him to the docks, strumming by the sea His dulcet tones drew in a ship known for piracy Fart, fart, fart, just listen to him play Fart, fart, fart Bart He'll take your breath away Bart, Bart, Bart The bottom of our hearts We're head over heels in love with you
Starting point is 01:10:32 Bartholomew Bartholomew the Bart When the clouds block out the light We'll be with you rain or shine Rain or shine Bart, Bart, Bart Just listen to him play Bart, Bart, Bart Just listen to him play Bart, Bart, Bart He'll take your breath away
Starting point is 01:11:10 Bart, Bart, Bart From the bottom of our hearts We're head over heels in love with you Bartholomew Bartholomew the Bart, Bart, Bart Just listen to him play Bart, Bart, Bart Just listen to him play Bar, bar, bar
Starting point is 01:11:26 He'll take your breath away Bar, bar, bar From the bottom of our hearts We're head over heels in love with you We're head over heels in love with you We're head over heels in love with you Bartholomew Bartholomew the Bar Bartholomew the Bar Thank you.

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