Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 106. Greg Jenner - S14 Ep.9

Episode Date: November 24, 2022

This week Ed is joined by podcaster, historian and uber Taskmaster fan, Greg Jenner! Greg returns to the podcast to discuss the hotness of John Kearns and why Munya is like a early Buzz Lightyear. They dig deep in to the creative process of the contestants plays and try and decide on what IS the most underestimated item. Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmasterFind all the info on Greg's new books here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Greg-Jenner/e/B01956SB50/ref=aufs_dp_fta_dsk  Visit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:[e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Disinformation makes it harder to find information you can trust, especially on social media, and it could lead you to make choices that aren't good for you. Learn how to spot it at Canada.ca slash disinformation. A message from the Government of Canada. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. It's-a me, Ed Gamble. That's my new catchphrase in the style of Super Mario. Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Very excited to be chatting about Series 14, Episode 9 today with our unadvertised guest Greg Jenner. Wonderful Greg Jenner, been on the podcast before. Yes I am well aware that at the end of last week's podcast I said that this week would be Sarah Millican. What you are witnessing is real-time scheduling changes. Sarah is very busy, we're very busy. Things chop and change, you know. We will be getting Sarah on soon, but it won't be this week. And I feel like a right numpty for jumping the gun and saying that it was going to be this week. Silly old Ed.

But we're very excited to have Greg. Of course we are. Greg Jenner is, of course, a wonderful historian and writer and podcaster. And he's got two new books out. He's got a history book for kids out called you are history uh and he's got a history book for grown-ups or older children um as i call them uh called ask a historian and greg is a fantastic writer um he's always got something uh interesting to say about history uh and exciting angles on things. So go and buy those perfect Christmas gifts for the more

history inclined in your life. Very excited to have Greg on. Talk to him again. He absolutely loves Taskmaster, so it's going to be a good chat. And we're getting the episodes called The Business End. The Business End, of course, refers to a sausage, but also it's the business end of the series. So let's get stuck in series 14 episode 9 with greg jenner welcome back greg jenner to the taskmaster podcast thank you very much for having me very exciting to have you back on um you're a taskmaster mega fan you always have something interesting to say about taskmaster in fact i believe in last episode, we spoke about the theme tune more in depth than anyone has ever spoken about the Taskmaster theme tune before.

Sorry, I got excited. No, it was great. We had a lot of amazing messages about that. People loved it. So I'm hoping for another completely new, fresh angle on Taskmaster today. No pressure, Greg. Okay, I'll do my best, yeah. today no pressure greg okay i'll do my best yeah um we're of course talking about taskmaster series 14 episode 9 have you been watching and enjoying series 14 so far oh i mean it's such a great

series it's so funny the casting is brilliant greg seems to be having a lovely time there's there's just there seems to be joy in that room. And there's also John Kearns there to sort of balance it out. You said that as if John Kearns is somehow the antithesis of joy. No, he's the bringer of joy, but he looks like he's suffering. He looks like he's some sort of 19th century Russian mystic who is somehow, there's some sort of curse on him where he's trapped in this eternal loop of existential despair there is there is a lot of john twigging something or being told something pausing for about three seconds then just putting his head in his hands or rubbing his eyes and going jesus christ yeah i mean and the thing is that's exactly what john's like you know yeah i think we both know

him pretty well and he's a lovely brilliant clever man but that is john curts he is a man who seems to be at war with life itself it's sort of constantly like oh what now yeah i i didn't know necessarily what to expect when John was booked for the show. I don't think I expected this. I mean, I suppose he has had some moments of brilliance, right? And he's won episodes. Yeah. He's done quite well in some things,

but I think his failures have been so spectacular that, you know, you're obviously a historian, Greg. Is this something that rings true throughout history that it's the failures that people remember if they are spectacular enough? That's such a lovely idea to explore isn't it because I think we tend to look at glory

and we put people on statues and go this person was good at this but I love the idea of celebrating people who were really really calamitously really messed up. But you're right. John has these moments of absolute mastery where he's really good. And he's also like, I mean, I'm going to sound strange saying it, but there's an element of John that's quite sexy.

Like he's got like this, like it's the tie and the shirt look and the kind of furrowed brow and the intensity and the quiet demeanour. There are times where I'm really like, oh, John's hot. He's got, you know, he's got something going. And then the next task will be a shambles and you go, nope, it's gone. Greg, I asked for a fresh angle and you've absolutely come storming in three minutes into the podcast. John Kearns is hot. And you know what?

I'm here for it. I agree. but every series there's someone who you kind of go no they're not and then they you find them sort of like weirdly compelling and and you know mike wozniak i think everyone was like oh he seems nice and then there's a point midway through the series where a lot of my female friends were like mike wozniak's hot yeah mike's an absolute daddy so ripped he's in great shape and he's an absolute suburban daddy but he's yeah so I think there's something to be said for the quiet man who suddenly yeah look at him and go oh look at him in an airport

loving loving loo roll into a toilet from afar which is just the sort of thing you'd expect to see john doing in an airport anyway i think that's his uh that's his general vibe um yeah you're right even even in terms of the he's so funny in that pocket of failure um and the way he reacts is so funny that even that that task where they had to put the sand um into the boxing ring uh into the shopping trolley he He was deliberately trying to fail and he successfully deliberately failed. But I think people still remember it as a catastrophic failure for him.

Yeah. Yes, that's such a good point. He was trying to tank it. He was obviously... The sabotage thing has run deep throughout the series because you can see the ripple effect in the way that people judge him. I think you've talked about this on the pod before but like you can see Dara sort of going, oh John, and it's like this sort of this, I don't know, it feels somehow

like he's inherited some sort of reflective idea somehow that everyone's like this is a man who can't be trusted but at the same, he's actually very on the nose. He's very straight down the line. You know what you're getting with John most of the time. And he's really good at some tasks. He really excels at certain things. So I love watching him. He's fantastic to watch.

And what do you think of the rest of the lineup? Do you have any favorites from the rest of the lineup? I love the balance of it because, as I think you may have mentioned before, but ordinarily the kind of national treasure role goes to one person. But this time around, you've got Dara and Sarah, who are both absolutely top of their game, filling out stadiums whenever they want and superstars, but also at the cutting edge of their abilities, who are not yet,

they haven't reached the doddery old old sort of phase they are there they're in peak physical fitness but they're also really kind of wise and and clearly running away with it a bit so I love those two both being in it and being so different in their approach Dara being mega dad you know he's just absolutely 100% I need to win this. And Sarah as the sort of crocodile who stealthily sneaks up on you in the watering hole and then suddenly, snap, she's got you and you know, she's twisting and rolling you and you're dead. So she's got this kind of assassins kind of cool and Dara is much more sort of

running towards shouting shouting here I come with my science facts. I would say that this episode though Sarah doesn't lose her cool but I think we see her genuinely annoyed in this episode. Yeah there is a little bit later on it is fantastic to watch anyway sorry to interrupt Greg please. No no absolutely you're absolutely right and not just get losing her court but also we see a little bit of giggles coming in yeah during the the raspberries which we'll get to but um but i yeah i love that balance and then

you have munya who i feel like munya is buzz lightyear in the first toy story movie absolutely convinced of his abilities to fly definitely sure he's got a laser on his wrist uh you know he knows he's the sort of the the finest soldier in the universe as a space ranger and yeah every time he leaps off something he sort of falls with style but never quite lies that is an absolutely perfect comparison greg but he's obviously in the toy story movies buzz light year has a sort of realization that he's a toy and actually you know his abilities come from his courage and his kindness and that he's you know part of a gang. Munya is still convinced that he's Buzz Lightyear. Nine episodes in he's still like laser flying! Yeah I can't see the realisation happening on episode 10. I feel like Buzz Lightyear will remain. But he is I I mean, Munir's fantastic.

He's really good. He's really funny. He's really sharp. He seems to get on so well with Sarah, which is a lovely double act. Yeah. So he's brilliant. And then Fern, I absolutely love Fern.

I think she's incredible. And I've always been a fan of her stand-up, but it's really fun watching her being part of a gang and just her reactions to TARC. You know, whenever she's set a task and just a sort of guttural like oh no it's so great i really really love um but she's really funny and really smart and and comes at things a bit differently sometimes which you know it's great to watch so it's a brilliant gang i love it.

So let's talk about the prize task. The most underestimated item. I think there's a few ways you could come at this, really. You know, underestimated, you can come at it from multiple directions. Did anyone do a good job is the first question i have for you greg i feel like dara talked his way out of a good idea i feel like he greg's response being it sounds like a chicken auctioneer too much chat too much too much talking all at once because Because I felt like the fish finger sandwich is a great meal and it is the Hangover Dad go-to solution when the kids are sort of shouting

and mum's out at the shops and dad's like, oh, fish finger sandwich. So I feel like that was a good shout. But Greg seemed to be amused by the loss of information. I think maybe Dara was slightly less confident with this one. Because I think, you know, you have to pick 10 things before the series starts. And there's going to be a couple where you're like,

oh, I'm going to have to really try and sell that. And he really, really tried to sell it by giving every single possible thing that he thought about why it was a good idea and an underestimated thing. Whereas with Greg sometimes, especially when it's things like a fish finger sandwich, all you need to do is go fish finger sandwich and Greg's like, I love it, five points.

That's all you need to do. But he just really threw all the stuff. And also he was coming out with some nonsense. He was going, it's a light snack. It's not a light snack, Dara. What are you talking about? It's so much protein. In bread, it's like a fish finger sandwich.

The opposite of a light feel like you're right i mean obviously dara had also gone with the kind of the sunday brunch uh cooking mega pan that's the kind of pills with all the so i get a sense that that uh sunday mornings in the o'brien house is is smells of baked beans and fish finger sandwiches and bacon and so on. Maybe he should have provided a picture of him with his little glasses on eating the sandwich. The old man. The old man. It remains one of my favourite moments of this series. Is it you drinking that juice

because you just showed a picture of that old man? Very funny. Oh, really funny. Yeah, it wasn't bad. That wasn't a bad one but i think i mean look sarah's as well i thought maybe sarah's deserved more points because everyone else went with an item that everyone thinks is fine but it's actually really good so the public underestimate it but sarah went with her and her husband tried to tackle something that they underestimated the power and complications of with the joy of sex.

So it was an interesting way of looking at it. You know, maybe I think maybe four points, perhaps. Yeah, I think you're right. And that actually hadn't even occurred to me at the time. I thought she was sort of saying the book is underestimated as a sort of challenge. But actually, you're right. It's the sort of taking on of like, we're going to complete this book. We've underestimated as a sort of challenge, but actually you're right, it's the sort of taking on of like, we're going to complete this book, we've underestimated it, oh no, we've eaten food

off each other's bodies and we're having a nap. It's such a lovely, that's a great middle age, like I'm just going to have a little snack and then a little sleep. This is where I think the experience as a comic comes in sometimes, especially here in prize tasks, because every single prize that Sarah's brought in has been perfectly within that Sarah Millican persona. She's got a really funny bit to say about it. I mean, I say persona.

I mean, I think it's her own actual personality, Sarah Millican. But she knows how to distill it down into really quick jokes and the thing that she brings in and it's it is just it's so fun to watch her do that and this is another example of that i think to be like joy of sex we couldn't get through it we ate food off our bodies and then we had to have a nap it's like bang this is quality and reliable absolutely and it's even the same as when she went with the complete works of shakespeare and you're kind of thinking oh and then it turns out that's the whole Solero rapper. Yeah. And you go okay yeah we're back on track.

Exactly she's so brilliant. So I felt like that maybe deserved a little bit more especially in comparison to some of the others. I mean Munya, true to form again, I mean we talk about people finding their thing and sticking with it. Another Zimbabwe prize the Zimbabwe trip boomerang yeah I I was immediately like what hang on what's a trip boomerang he didn't explain the trip and then I was thinking well does it go around your ankles is that the idea that it's sort of I think it must trips you up okay yeah that you throw it close to the ground and because it's got the two stones on it they then just wrap around but it doesn't matter because it's it's two stones tied to a bit of string and yet again about five minutes of the episode is now dedicated to Munya telling an insane invented story

yeah absolutely it's a sort of another uh flan-ic-dote i like to call them is sort of people who just like stories just like there's an awful lot of fans and there's a lot of like world building that goes into this and he's walking home from school and he's attacked by the norfolk panther you're like what sorry but it was the again it's it's the buzz light this was like a buzz lightyear story wasn't it yeah so he's just seen he's sort of seen something he's experienced something and he's just he's blown it up into this massive thing rustling in the bushes thrown in the trip boomerang. The rustling stops.

He never saw the Norfolk Panther. No, no. I love that the assumption is simply, I'm being hunted by a mythical beast. I'd better deploy my handy Zimbabwean trip boomerang, which I keep in my school uniform. How did that make it to Norfolk, is what I want to know. Yeah, sure.

Many questions. Although Greg seemed convinced that the Norfolk panther has been widely discredited. So, you know, maybe we can't trust it. Is that true? Have you come across the Norfolk panther in any of your research, Greg? I mean, I've not. There are many mythical big cats and beasts on there. There's Black Shark, I think, in Suffolk and the Beast of, is it Bodmin? I can't remember, but there's a variety of these sort of famed predators. And I love the fact that clearly if Munya had,

I mean, I was thinking concussed or bludgeoned is what he's thinking, but maybe he tripped, maybe the stones wrapped around the legs and the panther is just there. I imagine it all cinched up, all the legs cinched up, and the panther's just like, Munya, I'll get you next time. Cartoon style.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe. But as Sarah said, chances are he probably just concussed a dog. Yeah. Or it was just the wind. You never know where that'd go. And then the wind stopped blowing. So most underestimated item. it's such a mad thing to

to bring also he said nothing about it being underestimated really like no because if he's saying like oh the oh everyone thinks the zimbabwean trip boomerang is not very good it's like no it's the first time we've heard of this mate you can't say everyone goes around going i'll tell you what's useless the zimbabwean trip boom right yeah overrated yeah yeah absolutely so in amazon loads of reviews they're all five stars really um yes absolutely it's it's not it's not it's not estimated at all it's it's it's hardly it's hardly existing in our consciousness the first time we heard about it and um it sounds pretty impressive if you can if you can fell a uh full-grown panther in Norfolk with one fell swoop. Good for you.

So, yeah, how many points did he get for that? I can't remember. One point, and I think it was deserved. Greg scored it oddly today, so it was one point, two points, and then three people got three points. Oh, yeah, that's right. There was a wide shot of Fern doing a kind of classic cartoon head cock of like, what? And they didn't sort of cut in on it, but I sort of detected Fern being like, how has this worked? Why has no one got four or five?

Because people start getting, it's episode nine, so people are starting to really think about the points they're getting. So when Greg does things like that, people are like, oh, that was another chance to maybe pull ahead a little bit. I see. Although I don't think John thinks that. He got two points for this. Another, I mean, a penny. He brought in a penny

and then tried to claim it was underestimated because if you walk past a thousand pounds worth of pennies and a thousand pounds worth in notes, you wouldn't take the thousand pounds worth of pennies or and a thousand pounds worth of in notes you wouldn't take the thousand pounds worth of pennies which greg immediately torpedoes by saying he would yeah because of course he would it's a it's a bucket of money it's like it's a huge amount it's a huge bucket of money a thousand pounds of pennies is a vast sum of pennies it is so many take it to the Coinstar machine in the supermarket.

Exactly that. I mean, you just wheel it home. If there's a ready-made wheelbarrow, you just absolutely take that home. Also, he didn't bring in a thousand pennies. He brought in one penny. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. A penny. And you could just see immediately greg oh john i want to see john all of john's prize tasks all just lined up i want i might commission a painting of them um because some of them i mean the sailor's hat and this are probably my favorite so far the sailor's hat is just a thing of beauty because it's so inexplicable it's like where has he got that from like the ulysses one i was like that's a good shout i being a very nerdy man myself that's the

route i would go down i would probably go down like okay here's this incredibly complicated difficult book that i've tried over and over and i've never got through it it's fairly route one but it makes sense saint's hat absolutely left field. What does he think? Sit there, people going is he late for his boat? Yeah, I mean very funny but that is just like, I can imagine John doing that as material. Like that was the sailor's hat thing would be. He'd walk on with a sailor's

hat and then spend 10 minutes explaining why he's got the sailor's hat on. Yeah and Greg's line in the prize task, I feel like you're just provoking me. It's really funny. It's become combative now. It's like John isn't just disappointing Greg. He's actually antagonising him with these sort of lowball efforts.

So I loved his pen. But I think the penny, I mean, the penny thing for me felt like John trying to extrapolate that famous kind of physics thing of like what's heavier, a ton of feathers or a ton of lead. And people were like, oh, a ton of lead, because lead's heavy. And you kind of go, no, no, a ton, a ton of or a ton of. And you go, oh, yeah, they're the same. I feel he was trying to like co-opt that. Yeah. He forgot that a thousand pounds is a thousand pounds. So he's just like, i'll take that home thanks very much it was the look on his face the way it crumpled when greg just went yeah no i take i definitely take that yeah just devastated um yeah fern brought a bottle a bottle opener key ring

um and i think her point was that that it's just good to have one knocking around, right? At parties and stuff. I feel like Fern here slightly went with the this is important to me angle. And I think it was a little moment of like, oh, okay, the key ring as a sort of, you know, as a little prop to get you through a house party if you're feeling a bit anxious or nervous. I get that. Is it like a social tool as well as a useful thing to have?

Absolutely. It's like, you know, when I was like 16 or whatever and I was incredibly shy and nervous, I used to carry a lighter in case people said, have you got a light? And I could go, yeah. And then I could be friends with these people. I've got something to say. Yeah. Hi. I've got a light. I don't smoke, but I carry flames just in case you need them. I feel like the bottle opener was a pretty good, a fairly sort of safe three-pointer, but it felt like a little moment of like, oh, this is true.

So I was like, okay, yeah, fair enough. I just used to open bottles with my teeth at parties, Greg. Well, that's because you're hardcore, you see. Well, I mean, I say I've now got a very expensive crown in the top right of my mouth because I took a massive chunk out of my tooth. So actually, I think Fern should have got five points because carrying a bottle opener at a party sounds like a brilliant idea.

I think it's a good shout. I think it's a sensible thing, and it is quite underestimated. The ability to just whip out something, you know, just poof, there you go, it is sort of underestimated. I mean, I don't know how I'd – I was struggling to think what I would bring into most underestimated I really my brain sort of ricocheted with all sorts of weird things and I couldn't I couldn't land on anything at all I mean there was a brief moment I was like oh the paperclip uh because paperclips are useful in their own right you can fold them out they become a little weapon or a pin if you

have to defend yourself you have to break a lock. Also in World War II in Norway, Norwegian students wore paperclips as a symbol of resistance to the Nazis. A little badge as a symbol of we're going to hold each other together. This is a beautiful little thing. So a little paperclip I think you can do a lot with. So that would be my sort of not very good but slightly lazy contribution but yeah I feel like I would have brought in the film the butterfly effect is that is that an Ashton Kutcher movie yeah it's very underrated Greg

it's underestimated it's underrated all right people are like this is going to be good I'm not going to watch this because it's got Ashton Kutcher in it and then you watch it and it's a phenomenal piece of work and a phenomenal performance from Mr Kut be good. I'm not going to watch this because it's got Ashton Kutcher in it. And then you watch it and it's a phenomenal piece of work and a phenomenal performance from Mr. Kutcher. Fair enough. In that case, I'm going to shout out for Death to Smoochie, one of the greatest movies no one has ever seen, one of Robin Williams' finest performances.

It's incredibly funny. Check it out. It's very weird. It's about a sort of children's performer. Edward Norton plays a sort of squeaky clean children's performer and Robin Williams plays a sort of deranged children's performer who's losing his mind it's incredibly funny amazing i'm gonna watch that that sounds right on my street um but it was one point for the zimbabwean trip boomerang uh two points for the penny

amazingly much to munya's consternation yeah absolutely john beat him with a penny. Three points for Dara's fish finger sandwiches. Three points for Sarah's joy of sex. And three points for Fern's bottle opener key ring. I've brought in a Zimbabwean trip boomerang. Show them, Alex. Here it is. OK. So, whoa.

Any of you ever heard about the Norfolk panther? Widely discredited. Go on. I was out for a walk in the forest. I've got my trip boomerang in my pocket, cos, you know, Norfolk was like a war zone in those days. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I hear a little rustle in the bushes and I'm thinking, cool, that's a pheasant.

But as I walk, the rustle starts to follow me. So, before I know it, now I'm running, OK? And I can hear, literally, trees moving, bushes rustling, this, that and the other, and I'm being chased by the panther, like, I know those footsteps. So, without thinking, I grab the boomerang, swing it, I throw it and carry on running. And the reason I know it hit the panther is because if it didn't, I would be dead. on running and the reason I know it hit the panther is because if it didn't I would be dead is there a chance that you killed someone's dog task one I can't believe this is a task it makes me laugh so much snort then blow a raspberry then

whistle then repeat that sequence for one minute most completed sequences wins your time starts when you next snort just brilliant incredible i mean incredible it's the sort of thing you read on paper you're like come on alex have you lost your mind um but when you see the results of this it's so funny um and obviously i i'd say if you weren't at home watching this and trying to do it yourself then you need to go to see a doctor because like of course the first thing you do is give it a go right of course you do of course you do and dara instantly gives i mean classic science dad it's like i will now i will i will try this myself and you can just see him running through the mechanics in his head like yep yeah snort yeah whistle okay yeah got it and it's lovely and what i love about is alex says this was meant to be a tiebreaker but we needed you to see this it's just And it's lovely. And what I love about it is Alex says, this was meant to be a tiebreaker,

but we needed you to see this. It's just like, it's like a national service. Like you have to watch these people losing their minds. Well, I guess that's it, isn't it? That's probably why I read it as like, I couldn't believe that they were doing it as a task because it feels like a tiebreaker, but the results are just so good.

I mean, I've said it before on the podcast, same thing happened on series nine uh with us with the lassoing um with lassoing alex that was supposed to be a tiebreaker but because david baddiel lost his mind it became a full task so but in this one everyone seems to lose their mind a bit uh quick shout out for sarah as well at the beginning so at the beginning of the task so she always her thing is she always checks under the table because she was told always look under the table. And she looks under the table, there's a task. And it simply says, hello, Sarah.

Amazing. Incredible. Really funny. It's like, you know, it's when the KGB are onto you and they let you know that they've been watching you. You're like, oh no, they've blocked me. Yeah, that was an incredible little moment and just wonderful.

But as you can see the processes, but that's what I mean by Sarah being the kind of crocodile. Like she's clearly starting tasks already, like anticipating, all right, there's a trick here. Where's the gimmick? So I feel like there's,'s you know in terms of the edit it's all very compressed down but you know that in that room they're probably trying to outfox what's happening to them and and i feel like sarah is this sort of very together thinking it through

you know looking for the task keeping her cool it's very impressive uh whereas fern what i love about fern is the instant reaction sort of visceral reactions she opens the task and just shouts yuck which is great i mean this this is one of my favorite fern moments i think in this task she just loses her mind she just hysterically laughs for about a minute it's so funny i was crying with laughter watching her cry with laughter and then she cries with laughter in the studio as well so like it's this sort of like constant loop of like giggles that it's so so glorious and you get and you get this one I mean you get a fantastic array of physiological failures here because we get John who says well I can't whistle and how many people can't whistle that's really taken me by surprise that I can

only whistle by sucking in so I can only go so I can't I can't blow I can sort of make a whistling sound but it has to sort of go it's gonna go into me which is not very practical and I try to know especially if you're doing the sequence right yeah I tried last night and I was like... And it doesn't quite work because the air's going the wrong way. So you sort of find yourself going... Yeah, but by doing that once, you've just done better than Fern and John. Because Fern never completes a sequence and John never whistles. So they still get two points for taking part.

Which I loved. I loved that commitment to it. And the fact that Fern thinks she should win the task because she kept trying is great. It's a good energy. But yeah, it's such a brilliantly stupid thing to have to repeat 18 times because your brain clearly is going,

well, these are just three things, that's fine. And then immediately the muscles in the face are like, no, these things do not line up. We should not be doing these noises all at once. Well, Dara obviously just really went for it. I must be gutted that he only got three points out of this because he also did something which I find interesting. He got Alex's, he asked Alex if he could have just used his whistle,

which he could have done. But that, I'm glad he didn't, because that to me is one of those occasions where there might be a loophole, but it absolutely doesn't help at all. Yeah. Well, it depends how long you take to whistle, but. It depends, yeah.

I guess if you're John, then you can't whistle at all. And having Alex's actual whistle. Oh, yeah, John should have taken his whistle straight away, yeah. Brilliant, absolutely. Yeah, I mean, there's a range of... I mean, like, Saffern does a little snort, then a giggle, tries again, and then lets out the best sound in the whole series,

which is she just goes, like a proper hee-hee-hee part of the character, and then chokes on her own phlegm and then literally falls over laughing, and it's brilliant, and just collapses and giggles, and then you get... i have to shout out to the you've you've already sort of um fronted it up but the music taskmaster production yeah

dream masters the music kicks in and we get like classic trolling from the music because you get sort of like clown music with popping tubers it sounds like a penny whistle and it's all like and it's like just amazing because it it's so passive-aggressive like these people are idiots look at what we're making these people do it's so funny very impressive from sarah though sarah does sarah does very well here to get to get 18 18 sequences um but munya fairly impressive just going i'm going to have to turn around because what's also been interesting

about Munya is I think he's I mean no offence to Munya the vainest Taskmaster contestant we've ever had refused to eat sugar refused to eat those ice creams is on a strict diet

is quite obsessed with how he looks I mean he looks very good but refused to do this to the camera because and I'm sure he joking, but in case he wants a modelling contract at that point. He's self-aware enough to say, look, I'm a five foot three Zimbabwean and I don't want anything else coming against me. I think he's a very good looking man. I think he should

model. I'm sure. I'm sure he could model. I'm sure he will. Yeah. So, but yes, the fact that he immediately says well i can't do this national television and then you cut to john and fern just losing their entire face sort of failing john's had his modeling contracts he's done you know he's done the cover of vogue there's no need for him to try anymore he's made his point um but it was great i mean i think almost turning away from the camera was was to munya's benefit because he did just seem to be able to then focus and get on with it.

And he really found that rhythm. Once you get into the rhythm, I think that's the key, right? Yeah, I think so. And John clearly doesn't have the rhythm because for him, the whistle takes so much mental energy to think, what is a whistle? How do whistles work?

You could see him going, I can't do this. Each time it's like a reset for him, which is amazing. And then you get that brilliant line from Alex showing his level of education. He talks about the Kairos moment, which as a historian, I immediately went, oh, this is a highbrow reference. This is slightly beyond Taskmaster's usual standard because it's lovely. So the Kairos moment, without wishing to bore you, but it's a really interesting idea. In ancient Greek, you've got two ideas of time. You have Kronos and Kairos.

And Kronos is actual quantifiable time, but Kairos is qualitative time. It's the time of the moment, the perfect moment to strike, the moment for action, the moment where you choose now. You release your arrow from the bow you decide to make your political intervention you you launch into an attack on the enemy it's this sort of moment of like divinely gifted this is it this is your window to be glorious and i love the fact that sarah hasairos. She has this moment of like, and now I become this Taskmaster genius. Whereas John really is not having the Kairos. John every time is like, nope, nope, nope.

So it's like a constant loop. John's more of a Kronos guy, you know? Yeah. He's really struggling with the Kronos as well. So it's a really lovely little sort of thing. And you've got, I guess, for me, what was really funny is the different techniques, because Sarah is quite small in her raspberry, she's like, the little tongue comes out, it's quite cute. Fern's just giggling. John obviously cannot do it. Dara, though, classic dad, classic, you know, a man who clearly has entertained toddlers in his time, is going big, generous raspberry. Big raspberries.

Big, big cheeks, really puffed out. And sort of slightly starts to transform. There's that very famous animated movie of George Orwell's Animal Farm with the famous banqueting scene where the pigs turn into humans and back again. And there's a sort of brief moment where Dara, who's a good looking man, but suddenly becomes very... Very complimentary, this, Greg. No, but I'm saying just for a moment, there was a sort of brief moment where Dara, who's a good looking man but suddenly becomes very complimentary this Greg. I know but I'm saying just for a moment there was a moment where he was going I just suddenly was like okay okay there's a sort of snuffling happening here where he really um he really committed to the sort of physicality of it. I think he could have got more if he'd not tried to switch up the whistle technique. So he keeps trying, he tries the finger whistle, he's trying a normal whistle,

he's obviously got his eye on Alex's whistle. I think he just sort of stuck with something, found the rhythm, but I think he's thinking about it too much, because you see him at some point get it wrong and go, no, no, it's not, and then have to reconsider it. Whereas Munya obviously just went into a trance and just nailed it. You can just see the back of his head going. Incredible.

Yeah, absolutely. And it reminded me, I guess, of this was like a kinder cousin to Series 13 where Sophie has to have her tongue out forever. And we see so much human fluid. And it's like, oh, no. Oh, God. Whereas this was a lot more tongue and snorty. But it wasn't gross.

Despite Fern saying yuck, it wasn't actually, we weren't seeing mucus and phlegm. We just saw a lot of... You know, I think we were lucky not to. Maybe. Yeah, they were doing everything to free it up. So it was two points for John,

two points for Fern, both for taking part. Dara got three points for 17 sequences. Sarah got four points for 18 sequences. And Munya completes the cycle 24 times, getting him five points. Now we're getting to the business end of this competition. I mean, that's the first question I want to ask, really, is why, Munya, you opted for a pervert's whistle?

HE HUMS I thought it was easier to do. Every time you did it, I sort of covered myself up a bit. LAUGHTER Um, Dara? Yes. This is what I wrote down. Dara looks like he's going to turn his head inside out. But the speed of the fucker!

Exclamation mark. Task two. Part one. Write a one-minute, one-person play. Best script wins. You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now. Part two.

Stage and perform this one-minute, one-person play. Best performance wins. You have 30 minutes. Your time starts now. And obviously, I'm sure you'll all'll remember they were given each other's plays which is something that we've not seen before on taskmaster this is somehow they're finding new ways of doing this show and it was so good it's so good because it's sort of collaborative but it's sort of not quite because they don't know that they're you don't know know upfront that you're going to be having to hand this to someone else.

So you might be writing something that suits your skills, your skill set. You know, if you're thinking, well, I can perform. If you're back of your mind, you're thinking, oh, they're going to make me act this out. Then you're writing perhaps for your own abilities. And then suddenly, no, no, Dara's got to do it. And you go, what? It's great. It's brilliant though, isn't it as well? Because you, I mean, you would have thought everyone's just going to write the best thing they could possibly write.

Or, you know, or I guess the funniest thing they could write or because you would be imagining in the back of your head when you receive that task either i or alex is going to have to perform this play at some point oh alex yeah i hadn't thought of that yeah that's good yeah so when they get given to other people it sort of becomes this weird tense sort of almost combative thing where i mean alex says it in the episode sarah is genuinely angry she's and yeah it reveals that she is basically the nation's finest screenwriter like it's incredible what she writes it's oh what she writes no i'm just mean she's angry about what Munya made her do. Oh, yeah, I know. I'm focusing on the positives here. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, the Munya.

No. Let's talk about her play. The sort of, I mean, it's very, as Greg said, very Alan Bennett, very talking heads. So, yeah. But so beautifully written. And you've got to say as well, really delicately performed by Fern,

who you could have taken it in such a silly way, because she's made the decision, a brave decision, to do it as Sarah and do Sarah's accent. And as she says, she didn't really know Sarah before this point. Yeah. And rather than doing some ridiculous over-the-top attempt at South Shields accent. She's really tried and actually kind of nailed it.

Oh, it's beautiful. It's a beautifully observed, quiet piece. And I watched this through three times last night, just trying to make sure I hadn't missed any little nuances. And on the first time around, I'd missed the seven calls from the home thinking oh oh is that because the nanny's the nannies died yeah and it's like oh it finishes on a sort of pathos note yeah this woman who feels an obligation to go visit the nanny but at the same time loves her and and then suddenly seven missed calls you go oh no and it's such a beautiful

piece of writing and Fern does it so well and the yeah way man like it's so like like just so you win yeah like really quite understated that's why i mean this is what this is why taskmaster is so good and has such longevity because no one's in the background over producing anything they're just letting things happen as they happen so there's room for things to be things to be uh like like funny and there's room for things to be things to be uh like like funny and there's room for things to be terrible and there's room for things to be quite touching and it just you just let the cards fall where they where they fall and this is this is when it really works in this whole task because i think every single every single person nails it in some way here

they all bring something different to this which i was astonished by because the way that we get set up into this is we get some classic intercutting of john going plays are boring uh we get we get fern saying when i worked in tesco i wrote a misogynistic ages play we get sarah just going well this is thick paper a lot of lots of gsms here which is sort of classic sort of nerdy stationary fan and we get Dara sort of immediately going I've got a good idea which is classic Dara and of course John does his inimitable muttly wheeze of just holding his eyes and giggling in despair and then writes man and underlines it and then stops and you just go okay so on the way in i was thinking this is going to be a series of disasters and then yeah yeah is is genuinely great stuff yeah i mean let's let's talk let's talk about muneer

performing fern's play meaning again he's really he's really gone for it it's an interesting idea for a play i think um the uh woman bashes her head can hear her cat talk the cat's really angry at her and then and then she passes out and I think I think Munya does a good job I think he could invest more into the performance maybe but he's mainly I'd say the main element of the performance is the wig yeah he's very happy to say make me a woman woman, isn't he? He's like, I'm ready for this. Make me a woman. It's like, okay. He's ready for the wig to come. Yeah, he slightly plays it for, not quite last, but he doesn't quite commit to the...

Yeah. Because there's a sort of Christmas Carol Dickensian vibe here of a ghost visiting you or your cat suddenly speaking to you. It reminded me of a Rick and Morty episode where the dogs become sentient well not sentient but dogs become yeah hyper intelligent and then rebel against humanity and you kind of like studying the cats like here are all my list of complaints it yeah reminded me of that it also reminded me of uh in the 16th century montaigne the french philosopher wrote a book called uh

penseo essays and it's in there he said um when i play with my cat is my cat playing with me which is one of these sort of like really famous moments in philosophy where because at that point animals weren't believed to have souls and he's like i think maybe an animal does have a soul what if they're the one toying with me i'm not you know so it kind of had this sort of lovely undercurrent of like big ideas in there that when you didn't quite land i think but it was still fun to watch it was a nice still fun to watch he still threw himself into it which is what what we always want and this is what you get when you book Greg Jenner guys you get Rick and Morty quickly followed by 16th century French philosophy sorry yeah no perfect range of my interests

but also I mean I just love the stark terrifying visual image of a kind of mid shot of Sarah with ping pong balls sellotape to her eyes oh my god I mean this so you can so when they announce go back and watch it again if you're listening to this because when when they announce what the task's going to be just before they cut to the task you see a full shot of them all sat there sarah is grim sarah is grimacing she is livid about this and as angry yeah and you know why wouldn't you be because monia wrote this when he thought he was going to have to perform it yeah why would you do that he wanted to hallucinate didn't he was like i've read that if you type if you put ping pong balls over your eyes and listen to white noise you hallucinate and you're like and you want that do you that's

why you're that's what you're opting in it's not a play even sarah says it at the point they're talking at the studio and she's just like sat there really angry and um and when you go to thing is with my play and she really quickly goes it wasn't a play It was sort of more expressive dance, wasn't it? It was like a moving, physical... I can't even describe it. It was like a series of performed actions with ping-pong balls in your eyes. It was haunting and scary, but not really...

I'd expect to see that at a Punch Drunk production, maybe sort of in a promenade situation. In a warehouse or something, yeahenade situation in a warehouse or something yeah yeah in a warehouse yeah yeah yeah it's really it's really funny so funny and i love the way that when you're still when confronted with what he'd done still like yeah this this was the idea really you're happy with this um it's just every so john and fern just absolutely losing their minds laughing at the the dynamic between sarah and when you're happy with this um it's just every so john and fern just absolutely losing their minds laughing at the the dynamic between sarah and munya in the studio because munya's just like

slightly slightly he's not really aware of the vibe at this point he's like yeah we've had nine weeks of munya and sarah being on the same team and being on the same wavelength and yeah and and sarah sometimes being the kind of like kindly like I'll let him have his fun all right I'll go along with it yeah this is the first time that Munya has has sort of forced her into a situation which is like ah hallway man it's like it's not good this I don't like this I'm not enjoying this yeah I mean as Greg says um the play is is awful I mean Munya gets one point for the play and one point for his performance as well. He comes out of this with two points,

which is obviously not great. But Sarah gets three points for her performance because the fact that... And I didn't even think she was going to sit on the floor. The way she reacted to that part of the script, sitting cross-legged on the floor, he's obviously not long out of school assembly. He's me laugh so much but she's game and she does it you know she may be angry about it but she does do it um so she gets three points for that let's

talk about john performing dara's play every time i look up i think of you um good job by the production team as well you gotta say really good yeah um and john john really goes for it he picks as dara says i wasn't expecting it to be played so southern he makes a decision and he sticks with it yeah again played for played for laughs i'd say a bit like munya he he sort of but look that's that's obviously what you're going to do as a comic. You are going to do that. And you're not to know that there's a couple of performances in here that are just kind of pitch-perfect acting performances.

So John really goes for it. It's a fun idea, I thought. What I liked about this, the kind of double thing here of Dara writing... I mean, Dara loves space. He's super into space races. You immediately, like, you see at the beginning, Dara immediately gets an idea the double thing here of of daro writing i mean dara loves space he's super into space race so immediately like you see at the beginning dara immediately gets an idea and he's you know he

writes interior day and you go okay great um so space race stuff it was clearly gonna occur to him quickly john playing it for laughs is great although actually there's this sort of tragic undertone at the end of it where you kind of go oh my god this is a man being sent to his death by his yeah his uh betrayed wife who great story story getting the ultimate revenge it's really good and as you say the production team then doing a really lovely job there's a tiny little thing that i loved from the production team which is the flashing red light that you can see from the wide shot as the rocket zooms into space you can see the kind of open porthole where john's screaming and his voice echoes into eternity as he's off

to go and die on Mars and there's a little flashing red light and it just it's very yeah it's very traumatizing and triggering ego oh this is a man about to die because his wife you know found out about the affair or whatever it's really good so the laughs start but actually by the end of it you're like no no this is sort of it's kind of Bowie esque it's you know floating in a tin can it's a very very good performance and he gets five points for that for that performance greg only gives the play four points um and says it's a bit overwritten dara looks absolutely gutted at that he looks devastated because rarely rarely in taskmaster are things scored based on so close to what that person actually does so

so that's when it really it really you feel it when it's like a creative writing based thing and Greg's like no no I didn't enjoy that as much as the rest then it's like oh you are just critiquing something that I would do in real life yeah exactly you've just basically attacked my work here which is my bread and butter this is my identity the one thing i would say classic dara being a science dad to the max but also quite cleverly he's built his one minute countdown into the play because he's got an actual physical countdown which is really smart so that gives him his which is i guess what triggered the idea right yeah a counter you've got one minute okay countdown it's it's a you can see the clock ticking. But interestingly, John does the same as well.

So the two ladies, Fern and Sarah, both write about cats, which is interesting. And the kind of dynamic relationship between humans and cats and the kind of sometimes... You're a cat owner, aren't you, Ed? I am a cat owner, yeah. That kind of slight tension sometimes with cats, where cats can be a bit of an arsehole. Well, Fern says my cat is an arsehole, which is really funny. But both women sort of are writing this sort of social commentary about humans and cats and the interactions and how that plays into our wider lives with other people.

Both men write about time, and John has Dara constantly overturning these sand timers, and while Dara's play has this sort of countdown clock that's sort of every 15 seconds. So it's really interesting that they've both gone in those two different directions but there's a theme emerging and it's Kairos again. I love that you're not mentioning Munya by the way. Well Munya is on his own, of course he is. And Munya makes her wear some ping pong balls in her eyes.

So that's interesting in its own way, isn't it? Yeah, so John has got his own Kairos thing. His play is about the Kairos failing over and over. It's about this, it's never the perfect moment. It's a really haunting play that sand timers are overturned. Now's the moment, the phone has rung, go to the door. No, it's not the moment. So the Kairos and the Kronos are a running theme in the episode, which I love.

It's so haunting. It's beautiful. I think as well that we've not talked about John's play yet. not the moment so the kairos and the chronos are a running theme in the episode which i love it's so haunting it's beautiful i think as well that we've not talked about john's play yet it was i think it was my favorite uh combination of performance and writing um i think that's why greg says that dara's play is overwritten because when it's next to a play that is simply not written anything's gonna seem overwritten when a place doesn't exist yeah because it's so i think it was great as well that the way they set it up in the edit was john going i don't know what i'm gonna write and just writing one word on a sheet of paper or something yeah but then when when he's in the studio he quotes beckett he's obviously got an idea he's

obviously thought i'm gonna i want to do a sort of Biketian style play. And Dara looks like he doesn't understand it or what's going on. But then the performance and obviously the lighting in this is key. But Dara's performance, Dara has shown himself in this series to be a fantastic master of facial expression.

My baby, the Doors guy, you know. He's got, his facial expressions are amazing. And John genuinely, I think, is very impressed, you know, in the studio. He says to Dara, he says he's like Brando in Apocalypse Now, which I don't think is a compliment, necessarily. Perhaps not, but certainly an iconic role. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, my tiny quibble, and this is me being absolute uber pedant, arsehole to the max, I felt like maybe both of these stories weren't quite delivered as plays.

They felt quite cinematic and certainly John, the wide shot and the rocket going into space felt a little bit like, hang on have we moved beyond the kind of, because Sarah does a very good Sarah does the kind of the Bennett thing of the one-act play down the camera. Okay you filmed that fine but I think John's was a little bit filmy and then Dara's performance is incredible and it is very theatrical, but the lighting is so cinematic, it's so film noir. It's Chiaroscuro, it's that incredible shaft of light across Dara's haunted face as he stands in the doorway. It's an amazing piece of production team pulling out all the stocks.

The director and editor and the DOP have nailed that. It's gorgeous television. It did feel slightly beyond play for me, but that might be me being a bit unfair. You know, it's Beckett on the page. No, I think you're right. It's very cinematic, but I guess like a sort of, maybe one of those old televisual plays you could just about position it with. But with that, that lighting was cinematic quality, wasn't it? Yeah, incredible. But Dara's performance was just, you know, Mock the Week's over, he's done Taskmaster now,

he's obviously got the stand-up bubbling away, but let's get Dara acting. I want to see a full series of the, oh no, My Baby Lady. I mean it's like it could be a kids TV series I think I said it to him that could be transferred across Europe because you don't need language really do we

yeah the new Mr Bean yeah Mr Oh No My Baby it is an amazing thing and it's an incredible piece of writing and what I loved about it is Dara really sells, he clearly has had to do a huge amount of the heavy lifting and the production team have made it look gorgeous but Dara really finds in that short play something genuinely moving and the overturning of sand timers feels like a sort of symbol for death. It's very Beckettian, as you say, waiting for Godot famously. You know, the line that John quotes is slightly misquoted, but it's this sort of idea that, I mean, Beckett sort of has silences in his plays,

not because he doesn't want to use words, but because his characters are exhausted and they've got nothing to say to each other. It's really sort of interesting, this man in a room who's never allowed to leave, who always thinks he's about to leave it's great um and it's it's really funny to then compare that to what munya writes which greg which greg says twice in this episode greg says munya it's rubbish which is a recurring theme and then you get the line, one of my all-time favourite lines in Taskmaster Lore, which is Sarah saying,

I didn't see anything at all because me glasses were on the outside of me ping-pong balls. It's a line that doesn't make any sense in any other circumstance. But in Taskmaster you're like, yeah, absolutely. Your glasses were on the outside of your ping-pong balls. So, in terms of playwriting, Munya gets one point, Dara gets four points, Sarah, Fern and John all get five points. And in terms of play performance, Munya gets one point, Sarah gets three points, John gets four points and Dara and Fern both get five points.

I don't think I've got anything bad to say. I was absolutely enchanted by performance and narrative. It put me in mind of Alan Bennett. It was like an Alan Bennett play. Yeah, it was. I was really nervous because I hadn't met Sarah until we got here, so it was really horrible knowing that my bad impression of her was coming out. I really liked your impression.

It's a soulful, especially the howl here, man. Task three, it's another two-parter. Part one, choose one item from each plinth and bring them into the lab. You have one minute, your time starts now. Part two, in the lab, paint a self-portrait using your brush or sausage or on your other chosen object. You must use the business end using your brush or sausage or your other chosen uh on your other chosen object you must use the business end of your brush or sausage and in your self-portrait you must be wielding your brush or sausage best self-portrait wins you have 15 minutes your time started when you entered

the lab this i mean some of the some of the results of this are so great i mean it's this is like a quintessential taskmaster task isn't it perfect choose a brush or sausage immediately taskmaster and then the range of brushes the range of materials to paint on munya doesn't think plimp is a word that's a great start i love that i love that he's like plimps in the web uh and so so sure of himself yeah another munya food phobia uh you know because of his you know uh trauma of having to buy too many cheap sausages as a student yeah uh fern asking what's the business end of a sausage amazing question of course amazing um and then they're into the selection where of course you don't know what you're choosing for so then it's just like okay

what munya refuses to touch a toilet brush that's that's classic munya dara goes toilet brush a massive fitted bed sheet i feel like that was that was a good call for it i think that would that felt like a sort of yeah i might have to paint a room kind of vibe i thought that was smart but there's no there's sort of no smart selection really is there because you've got no idea what it's going to be what i wouldn't pick a sausage necessarily. No, never choose a sausage. No one in human history has gone, I need to paint a ceiling, I'll get my sausages out. Clearly if it's a brush or sausage, you choose the brush. Yeah. It's a plastic thing designed to apply something, you know, whatever it is. What would the task be, if you think ahead, what would the task be where the sausage is

the best option? I can't think of anything. Feed this dog. I don't know. There is no universe where a brush is going to be a worse choice than a sausage. It's just not. It's just not. But Fern and John picked sausage.

Munya picked the sausage in the toilet seat.ern picked the sausage in the toilet seat um john picked the sausage in the toilet roll uh munya put the electric toothbrush in the bin dara picked the toilet brush in the queen size fitted sheet and sarah picked the the the sweeping brush uh and the toilet roll we say that the sausage was a bad choice but fern's self-portrait is incredible it's phenomenal. It's so good. I mean, Greg says it looks better than the photo. It's more realistic than the photo of her.

It's so good. It's incredible. Just, I mean, the toilet seat, I think, is probably the best canvas, I'd say, just even compared to the fitted sheet because you don't need to hang it up. It's never going to crumple. You can literally just put it in front of you and just do the, and it's,

you know, it's round. It's sort of almost like it's framed already. Yeah. So it was a, it was a, it was a lovely canvas, but just perfect.

And then throughout asking questions, but like business end of sausage. And she, when, when, when she says, oh, it's,

it's dirty or it's fallen off or whatever, and Alex goes, would you like a cloth? And so happy, she says, I can have a cloth to clean my sausage. Incredible line. Incredible line. She's so funny. To clean my sausage, it's like poetry. It's like T.S. Eliot. It's so good.

She delivers things sometimes. She's not trying to be funny there, but just with wide-eyed wonder, and she's so in the moment that she can't zoom out and see how weird this is. She's like, I can have a glockenglue, my sausage. Whereas John, I think, conversely, is always painfully aware of how awfully things are going.

And he loses a bit of sausage and then asks is the business end of can i have a new business end or do i have to continue with the the dropped off business end and alex replies i've never been in the situation before it's great it's like the rule we're making the rules up as we go here uh it's so so good but um but it's essentially it's it's quite a simple task. It's a self-portrait task. We've had these before haven't we? We've had people having to paint themselves with a slightly unconventional... So it's not the most outlandish thing but it is the difficulty of what you've chosen in advance without knowing the information going in. I thought... I mean Fern'ss is incredible phenomenal abilities i thought

um i thought munya's would have been better i thought painting on a bin should be quite straightforward it should be straightforward graffiti style yeah a dark green bin so you've got to you've got to work with the the colors that stand out from from the uh wheelie bin color and also the electric toothbrush when when they cut to him doing his hair with the electric toothbrush i was like he's absolutely nailed this this is the electric toothbrush is great because you can turn it off and just use it as a traditional brush or you can do that turn it on and you can get sort of like a repeating pattern i thought this is going to be absolutely fantastic but the mad thing that he produced with his intestines

he was like i guess should i do some of the stuff on the inside of my body it's like no no no no one when i was to do a self-portrait it's like i better do the uh gallbladder that's what they that's what they want to see here is some classic but was he small interesting was he holding it was he doing the heart hand symbol or something is that something he tried to do i don't know he's got dynamite in his teeth you're like okay brilliant but like he's like i better do some guts it's like all right um it's a it's a mad mad decision uh dara science guy immediately thinks well i'll do the eyes first because the blue will get muddy that's good i thought that was smart but then he accidentally paints chris chris witty that destroyed so funny so funny it looks so much like chris witty that's how much dara loves science it also looked like i thought it looked like the night king from game of thrones having a jolly day

out yeah the blue is the blue eyes the blue eyes and the little like the little sort of horns on his head i just immediately went oh it's the night king but he's sort of he's gone to he's gone to teddy tubby land um but chris witty was a phenomenal shout that is such a good joke i actually think i think daris was the worst one in terms of likeness because i i think sarah's was harshly judged bearing when she's working with a massive broom and toilet roll i think she's actually done a phenomenal job here yeah i i thought it was really good i yeah when it when it came out the kind of it's the glasses that sells it the glasses and the kind of red lips i immediately went yeah that's sarah millican yeah i i thought i saw a representation there of what she looks like

it felt like a kind of yeah it wasn't necessarily true to life, but I got who it was. Whereas Dara, I would never have guessed that was Dara in a million years. It's witty all day long. Yeah, exactly that. Munoz is a sort of possessed gargoyle on a bin.

Okay, fine. Yeah, I thought the scoring was unfair there, actually. Yeah, a little bit unfair. I think she deserved at least another point for likeness. And I know we can't really give advantages based on what they picked because that's the whole point, right?

If you pick the bad thing, you pick the bad thing and you just have to deal with it. And you know what? At the beginning, we really laid into people who picked the sausage, but they got five and four points. So maybe we're the stupid ones. Yeah, look at us. It should be sausage.

It was five points for Fern, four points for John, three points for Munya, two points for Dara and one point for Sarah. I bet none of those other plebs fought the Mexcors. Dara doesn't seem artistic. Oh, I like the texture. Oh no, no, I've

ruined that now. You've got six minutes and 25 seconds, Munya. Roger that, eh, dog? Oh. What if the business end has fallen off? I'd ruin that now. You've got six minutes and 25 seconds on you. Roger that, A-Dog. Oh. What if the business end has fallen off? Is it a new business end, or do you have to use the original business end? Not been in this situation before, to be honest.

Yeah. What if you wanna show us from the inside? Let's venture inside my anatomy. Modern art. Yeah, I'd say I'm done now. Do you know what? You can give me another hour, I wouldn't make any other artistic decisions there.

I think that is me. Bye! Thanks! Bye-bye! I'm going to have a bath now. Live task. Tie your towel as tightly as possible around your body, every 30 seconds, and then place your hands on your heads and keep them there until the end of the task. Get your towel completely in your possible around your body of 30 seconds and then place your hands on your

heads and keep them there until the end of the task get your towel completely in your bucket fastest wins just the classic task master get them to do something and then just watch them struggle yeah i mean it's such a simple tire towel around your waist okay take it off no you can't use your hands no it's like such a simple hotel room game, isn't it? Yeah. You often talk about touring games that you and a few other comedians are sort of improvising. That's a sort of easy hotel room. What have you got?

You've got a towel. There's loads of towels. All right, let's have a fun game. Now, I thought, so pedant mode, I thought the rule was get your towel completely in the bucket. The rules on the card did not say it has to be off your body. No. So you could have just, if it was on your foot, step in the bucket. Exactly what I thought, yeah.

Yeah. But then Greg halfway through, I think, improvises a rule, shouts out, it's got to be off your body. It's like, that's not on the task. That's not fair. But I guess in their in their defense i think the studio tasks are not about finding a loophole oh no so you've just got to they want they want something spectacular to happen in the studio they want it to be tense it's more like a sport

situation isn't it so yeah i can see why they perhaps needed it off the body because because dara i think dara tried didn't he but then managed why they perhaps needed it off the body because because dara i think dara tried didn't he but then managed to manage to get it off his body straight away anyway i mean he does it so much quicker than everyone else yeah he does which means he didn't tie a good knot initially which i'm surprised at science dad i would have thought you know he would have been a cub scout uh do sort of a very rigorous knot that would never come off so i'm surprised that he was able to wriggle free maybe he thought ahead maybe he did sarah obviously cannot escape her towel at all it's on her for the rest of time it's like she'll be an old lady in the cat cafe wearing her towel it's not it's never gonna be uh i mean john just john's straining to try and sort of pop it off himself

I mean, John's straining to try and sort of pop it off himself. John looks like a man who's been possessed by a demon who is trying to do a sort of self-exorcism. He is screaming. He is holding his head. He is like, again, Russian mystic in the 19th century. Absolutely some sort of wise philosopher king who is at war with his own internal self. It's incredible.

It's phenomenal to watch. Fern gets tired. I'm so tired for the 50th time this series. Fern is tired. And I know, look, Fern, if you're listening to this, I know you claim that they have edited this, so it's your storyline that you're tired. You weren't tired, you're angry that this is the sort of reputation that

you're going to get from this show. But I've done this show, I didn't say I'm tired enough for it to even be in the edit once. And let me tell you Greg, I've seen next week's episode and she says it again. Yeah, there comes a point where if you're giving the editors that much material to work with yeah if they're going to give you a catchphrase that's your fault so uh yeah yeah but very funny i mean look they all they all did they all did their tried their hardest in this one let's say but it was dara who came out on top then munya uh then fern three points, and John and Sarah still have their towels on to this day, and it's two points to them, meaning it's Fern's first win. Yeah.

Fern wins an episode, episode nine. Very, very nice. So she gets double points for the playwriting, for the writing and performance, which gives her ten points, which is enough to scrape that win, isn't it? Yeah, just about. So she excelled there, and that's what carries her over, which is enough to scrape that win, isn't it? Yeah, just about. She excelled there, and that's what carries her over, which is amazing.

It's great. Yeah, quite right too. So it was a win for her. Dara still getting those points in, just one point behind Fern, 22 points. John gets a third place. Sarah, 18 points, and Munya on 16 points, another bottom place for Munya.

He's really let this drop in the last few episodes series points going into the last episode John and Munya joint bottom 132 points then Fern on 136 but this is what we're talking about now it's all about these two Sarah on 159 Dara on 164

so widens the lead slightly but 5 points is sort of nothing going into the final episode i'd say it's very exciting it's surmountable but it is it's a it's a proper lead isn't it if dara's sensible he'll pick up three points in every task because but dara's dara's had a couple of weeks where he's dropped the ball. So if it's the same next week and Sarah is as consistent as she's been, we might see a bit of a leapfrog situation. Do you have a prediction?

It's so difficult. It's so, so difficult because Sarah and Dara are two absolute wizards at this show, but they have very different approaches. are two absolute wizards at this show, but they have very different approaches. And I feel like it's just, it's pure luck of the draw in terms of like what they get, what comes their way.

Is it an art task? Is it a kind of logic reason task? Is it going to be sporty and running about, or is it going to be, you know, something that really suits Sarah's ability to just sort of methodically work her way through something? I don't know. I feel like Dara should not be dropping the ball in the final ep.

He might squeak it, is my instinct, because it requires Sarah to nail it and Dara to fail. And, you know, that requires two people to have slightly tricky rolls to pull off. But I don't know. I could see Sarah sneaking it in the last minute, but I think Dara will just do enough um it's just great i love that we're in this situation for the final episode though oh it's so good it's so lovely uh and it's been a fantastic series for sort of really reframing how you think about people a bit as well i think like we've seen

i mean we've seen john have a breakdown every week but we've also seen john be excellent sometimes and fern has been sometimes really consistent and good and then sometimes she struggled sarah has had moments where you kind of go oh no she hasn't enjoyed that but she's so reliable and dara is just picking up points left right and center yeah it's a really interesting series for that it's it's a very competent series yeah apart from john but he's still getting points he's still getting points he's still getting points and i would say i would say that the munya's jedi mind trick has worked because munya is as incompetent as john but he just says he's brilliant and no one thinks he's incompetent he's a good-looking

charismatic man who's just at the start of every task is like i'm gonna nail this and you're like yeah of course you will man yeah you're a good-looking guy who's famous on the internet you of course you're gonna nail it and then you go oh no you've you've absolutely yeah drawn a goblin on a bin munya's good looking but as we've established this episode john is sexy john is sexy and i will not say i I'm not going to hear any other word against him. He's like a man possessed, but there's something about him that's deeply charismatic. He's hot. He's hot. He's hot.

That will be the note that we leave this episode on, Greg. Thank you so much for coming back on the Taskmaster podcast. We always ask our guests to rate their experience on the Taskmaster podcast between one and five points in the style of the Taskmaster. What is your rating for this episode, please, Greg? I've had the loveliest of times. I'm going to give you a big glorious five points and then an extra five points in the style of the Taskmaster. What is your rating for this episode? Please, Greg. I've had the loveliest of times. I'm going to give you a big glorious five points and then an extra five points for the writing of the play.

It's going to be ten points. This was all a play, guys. I wrote this before Greg logged onto the Zoom. Yeah, absolutely. I've been doing my lines, reading off the script. It's been brilliant. Thank you. What you can't see is Greg's got ping pong balls on his eyes.

Thank you very much, Greg. Thank you. Thank you very much to Greg there. Lovely to talk to him. We will be back next week, of course, to talk about Series 14, Episode 10, the final episode of the series. We will have a special guest to talk about that. Very excited to talk about series 14 episode 10 the final episode of this series we will have a special

guest to talk about that very excited uh to talk about that episode don't forget to get greg's new books uh ask a historian uh is the one for more grown-up history inclined people uh and then also of course you are history uh for children go and get those perfect Christmas gifts. Thank you very much for listening. We will see you again next week, 10pm after the episode drops on Channel 4 for all of the hot takes on the final episode of Series 14. Goodbye! Every veteran has a story.

Whatever your next chapter, get support with health, education, finance, and more at veterans.gc.ca slash services. A message from the Government of Canada.